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generalherasyndulla · 2 years

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Fic Writer Interview.

Thanks for the tag @96percentdone

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

26 currently! (soon to be 28 in like a few days)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

43,438

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Because of a Cupcake

2. A Family’s Love

3. Soft

4. Surprise

5. Playing the Cards Right

Yeah that sounds about right. I do have a soft spot for all these fics, but Playing the Cards Right I’m actually still really proud of not gonna lie

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes I usually do, they were nice enough to leave a comment for me, least I can do is respond to it.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably Not Quite since that one is based on a bad ending in the VN The in Fata Morgana and it doesn’t really get better for anyone in it. They’re still in bad end 1 at the end of the day.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Probably Soft although like all of my Sam and Max fics end pretty happily. But Soft is just them being gay and stargazing and that’s it really so I’d say that’s pretty happy

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not really although my Poker Night 2 fic miiiight be one if only because the game itself is a crossover between several franchises having them hang out and play poker.

But besides I’m not really big into crossovers (although I did have one idea see question 14 for more)

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Honestly not that I can remember, I’m not a popular enough writer to hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I wrote one (1) whole smut (Surprise) and it was a joke and a gift for a friend. I don’t really see myself attempting it again anytime soon but we’ll see

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I do remember waaaay back in the fanfiction.net days someone did translate one of my fics. I don’t remember the language or fic though

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Michel and Giselle from The House in Fata Morgana babeeeeeeey

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Okay so I came up with a Sam and Max Phantom of the Opera AU where Sam was Raoul and Max was Christine and Lorne was the Phantom (because u know he has the vibes of someone who’d live in the basement of an Opera). The entire thing was gonna be a parody of the actual book because I’m a massive Phantom of the Opera fan while still being a Sam/Max fic.

I still think about it sometimes and have a whole first chapter written and saved on my laptop but idk if I’ll ever finish it. I’d like to, although it might not be in as ambitious as my initial idea.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think my biggest strengths are my characterizations (I’m really good at nailing down that characters act and talk) and being able to write emotions/emotional shit

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

My biggest weakness is my inability to write an idea that’s longer than a oneshot.

I’m also not great at describing actions and things but I’m working on it.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never really done it but I think it can work well depending on context I think

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars way back in my fanfiction.net days babeeeeeeey (they’re all since been deleted)

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Good Omens would be cool to write a fic for. It’s my favourite book after all and I do love the characters but I just have no ideas for it. Likewise Umineko is one of my fave things ever, yet I haven’t written any fic for it. Sad.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Okay so it’s a tie between Playing the Cards Right which I think is pretty funny and cute! also everyone in it is well characterized and The Act of Mourning and Moving On which I wrote of a TWEWY girls fanzine and I’m really proud of it. I think it’s a well done character/relationship study of the dynamic between Shoka and Ayano and I really really wish more people would read it. So read playing the cards right if u want a laugh, real the act of mourning and moving on if you want to be sad.

I don’t have anyone in mind to tag so. If you see this consider yourself tagged <333

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slimycentre · 3 years

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New chapter - N. Patrick

Y/N shares a glimpse of her life with her boyfriend Nolan as they enter a brand new chapter of their lives

warnings: talks of infertility, pregnancy, depression, plot is set around december 2021 (idk if that’s a warning or not)

word count : 1,1k

a/n: i literally have no idea what i am doing, i’ve never posted ANYTHING that i’ve written anywhere so a feedback is appreciated. just lmk if this sucks or nah, is what i am trying to say.

I have always been the person, who tried to see the best in people. Always focused on the positive and always tried to empower.

There are a lot of things people don’t see and know about Nolan.

He will be mad that I am telling on him but believe it or not, he’s actually not this tough mean guy, he presents himself to be. He’s tough, in the most inspiring and amazing way. His endurance and patience and capability to stand up over and over again, is something that I admire about him.

He’s the most soft spoken man, I’ve ever met. Although extremely mumbly, whenever Nolan talks about the things that matter to him. The things he loves. His family, his team, his love for hockey, his love for music. His eyes get this glimmer and his lips always turn upwards.

He’s extremely big hearted. He would do anything and everything for his friends. For his parents. His sisters. For me. There’s so much love, he carries inside.

We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember. And even with past partners, we’ve always managed to go to each other. For comfort, for security, for empowerment, for love.

There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind, he can do everything he puts his mind to. He’s battled and conquered injuries upon injuries, we all know that. But it’s also those personal victories. Those that he’s battled alone or those ones that we’ve battled together.

I’ve been incredibly blessed to have such a kind, unconditionally loving, understanding and caring soul as my partner.

Words cannot describe, the way I adore him.

We got together at a fairly young age but as individuals, we’ve been through so much already. The moment we got together, I only felt the power and the love for myself grow. I often want to be that independent strong woman, but I learned that I am JUST that, with him by my side.

He’s the partner, I wish every person would have. He makes me feel like I am on the top of the world. Like I am my own person. Like I am invincible.

A friend of mine told me something that I live by. “If you cannot grow with the people around you, they’re not your people.”

Nolan has never made me feel like I can’t grow. He’s never held me back. He encouraged me, cheered on me and helped me grow as a person.

But there’s a brand new role that Nolan had to take on. A role of a dad. When I found out that I was pregnant, it came as a big shock to quite literally everyone, as in my adolescence, I’ve been told it’d be very hard for me to conceive naturally. We have not been even actively trying to get pregnant, yet something decided otherwise. The moment I told Nolan, I was pregnant, it was like falling in love all over again. I knew we loved each other, but it never occurred to me, just how much we actually love each other. I expected my pregnancy to be risky and complicated, but it was the exact opposite. I’ve never experienced anything so peaceful and natural. I remember the day we found out we’re having a boy, I was probably the happiest person on this planet. I’ve prayed for a healthy child, first and foremost but deep down, I’ve hoped for a little boy. I love all of my nieces and nephews but something in me wanted to have another Patrick boy in my life.

2nd of November 2021, at 6:37 pm, my life has inevitably changed forever. We’ve been blessed with, in my eyes, the most perfect little human being, I have ever laid my eyes on. Cole Luc Patrick. I am looking at our son as I am typing this and he still amazes me, as he did the first moment I saw him. He is his dad’s son. Just one look at Nolan and Cole, you will see a man and his carbon copy in a tiny body. Nolan is taking fatherhood unlike any other first time dad, I’ve seen. Sure, we have experience, but the real thing is always completely different. His #1 priority has always been family and that has not changed, the only thing is, we now have a family of our own.

I can say with confidence, that Cole is our whole world. I’ve been hit with a postpartum depression the first 2 weeks after having our son and I am not exaggerating when I say that there were moments where I breathed for that child. And Nolan was right there with me. Holding my hand through all of this. I am so lucky to have the support system I have and very much realize that it is in fact a privilege. I have never loved so much until Nolan became my boyfriend and just when I thought that I couldn’t love more, I had Cole. My son. The person I would drop everything for. A lot of people, when they have kids, they drift apart and the only glue, holding them together, is their child/children. For myself, I can tell that I’ve never loved Nolan more than I do right now. He is the best partner, I could’ve ever asked for.

I have no idea what the world has in store for us. I don’t know, where our lives will take us. I cannot even begin to think of the obstacles and hardships that will most likely be thrown our way. Nothing in our lives has been permanent. Apartment. House. The city or even the country we live in. It didn’t necessarily change, but we have Cole now.

We both made a promise to him. We promised we would do our best to be the best parents to him. Not what other perceive as “parenting well-done”. And honest to everything good that is on this planet, Nolan is the best father Cole could ask for. Nolan had never been best at showing love through words but with his son, it comes naturally. There’s not a day he wouldn’t tell Cole, he loves him. Not a day he wouldn’t hold him close to his chest and rock him to sleep. If I ever had a doubt about him being a bad father, it went right out of the window the moment I saw them together. I’ve never seen Nolan looking and talking to someone the way he does to Cole.

My son and my boyfriend.

Two boys I can thank life for bringing them to me.

#nolan patrick #nolan patrick imagine #nolan patrick fluff #nolan patrick x reader #nhl imagines #hockey fanfiction

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inthediamondsky · 4 years

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SHINee in the Good Place:

lesson 4 - so what even are SOULMATES?

note: this is my favorite quote from The Good Place! and I use it to illustrate an important point... it really bothers me when people say that the SHINee members aren’t close with each other because of the above quote. first of all, the lyrics to “Our Page” are the most beautiful, honest, and touching lyrics about a group of people that I’ve ever heard. so there’s that.

second of all, we’re not living in a fucking rom-com. relationships, especially long lasting ones, whether they are familiar, platonic, or romantic, are really hard to maintain. like seriously, relationships are FUCKING DIFFICULT. one of my favorite things about SHINee, ever, is that they’ve never been unrealistic when describing their relationships with one another. all five of them have drastically different personalities, some of them fought when they were trainees (minkey), some of them never thought they would be in the same team (onkey), some of them never wanted to be in the same team (minkey again), and at least two of them have said publicly that living together in a dorm - and for several years, all in one room - was hellish (jongkey). as someone who is both extroverted and loves spending time with friends AND is very particular about personal space and alone time, this makes complete sense to me. but they adapted to each other so that they could continue working together, and somewhere along the line they developed a unique relationship that “is hard to put into words.” (as kibum said in his 2020 cosmopolitan interview)

sometimes, kpop feels like a competiton to see which group can say that they are the closest the most. but a real relationship isn’t about the number of times you can gush about being “an inseparable family” in front of a camera. the real work is done behind the scenes, and honestly, fans will never really know exactly what their faves’ relationship is really like. SHINee, the team as we know them, was put together by a company known as SM Entertainment in somewhere around 2007. I can confidently say that I’ve never seen a musical group that made more obvious sense together. on stage, they fill in each other’s gaps flawlessly, as they’ve said and as I felt when watching their concerts live. it’s like onew said in 2018: “we all always had the same goal... we were all at our happiest when we were together on stage.” but it’s pretty clear that their personal relationships weren’t always so magically seamless. and that’s okay!

in 2018, when asked about why SHINee has been able to go on for so long, kibum said: “버텼기 때문에” or “because we endured.” he went on to say that if each of them had done whatever they wanted to at the time, with no concern for the others, they probably wouldn’t have been sitting there together as a ten-year old group. instead, they held back their impulses as best they could and put in the time together. they adjusted to each other and tried to understand and accept each other’s differences. it reminded me of what Michelle Obama said in her autobiography, Becoming, about how her marriage to Barack Obama (yes, the most famous shawol in the world) never wavered in the face of immense public and private pressures: “You find ways to adapt. If you’re in it forever, there’s really no choice.” now that’s a really fucking realistic look at lifelong relationships.

in the end, for whatever reason, SHINee decided they were in it for the long haul. and then they adapted. they made it work. they’ve made wonderful music and awe-inspiring performances together, and their relationship has stood the ultimate test of time. and I happen to think that is so, so beautiful.

oh, and here’s my favorite ot5 picture! idk what that says about me, but enjoy~

💓💖💗💘💕💝💞💝💘💗💖💓💗💞💗💓💘💖

#SHINee in the good place #5HINee #shinee #kpop #the good place #Obama??#minkey #jongkey #onkey #ITDS

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cruelfeline · 4 years

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While Entrapta is my favourite character on the show I remember feeling a bit frustrated with her up to around season 3-5 on my first watch-through, despite being autistic myself, and I realise now that I don't remember feeling that frustration with Catra. I remember always just feeling upset that she was making bad decisions that was hurting herself and the people around her, and I'm finding it really intriguing that my frustration with Entrapta initially was closer to annoyance rather than concern. When I realised Entrapta was coded to be autistic after I finished the show, everything made sense to me and that's when I started to fall completely head-over-heels for her. She's maybe my favourite fictional character EVER and I love her arc, but I feel a deep shame that it's been so engrained into me by society to not tolerate "my own kind" that I didn't initially adore her, so to speak. Maybe I struggle to tolerate more "obvious" autistic people because I've spent my whole life getting really good at masking and it's similar to that resentment Boomers have @ Millennials for "having an easier life" without conforming as much like they used to? I don't think I've read anywhere on your blog if you're neurodivergent so maybe it's really inappropriate of me to ask about your thoughts on this, but I'm sort of new to Tumblr and love your blog and don't know who else to turn to. I'm just curious(/upset I guess lol) about more people in the fandom stanning Catra over Entrapta mostly just because Entrapta's autistic?? Idk I thought it was an interesting topic to mull over

And yea, we have entered the “is CF neurodivergent” part of the blog cycle again!

Ha! I kid, anon. Well, not really. It’s a sort of weird running theme on here that people pop in and ask me if I’m neurodivergent, or comment on how they thought I was, or what-have-you. To the point that I am now “questioning.” I’ve never been diagnosed as anything, but enough people have expressed their disbelief at this point that I’m somewhat at a loss.

I’ve definitely heard your feelings described before, anon. Actually, I remember someone positing that Mermista was autistic and that this sort of resentment of not having to mask was why she was so unpleasant to Entrapta. Can’t find the post right now, but it was a whole discussion a few months back. Very interesting!

It’s unfortunate that you feel badly about how you initially reacted to the character, anon; internalized misgivings due to societal expectations are very common and hardly reflect on you in any negative way. You can connect to the character now and enjoy her fully, as makes one happiest!

As far as the fandom in general preferring Catra over Entrapta: the mainstream fandom is very Catra-heavy. Which is fine; I mean, she’s the main character and all. But here, in the Entrapdak community? We all love Entrapta c:

Again, don’t feel bad about initial character reactions, anon! Y’know, I didn’t love Hordak at first sight. Didn’t care about him until season three. And now?

...well.

Now, you see what I’ve become :P

#Anonymous

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armillary-spheres-lover · 3 years

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Fake Individuation

Imagine this. You’re an enneagram Five.

You feel the need to hide from the world. It would suck up all your energy. You feel the need to occupy as little space as possible, so that the world won’t make any demands on you. You feel the need to close off and keep the world at a distance. The world is just so demanding. It tires you out - physically, emotionally, mentally. You retreat in your cocoon, where you feel safer. You observe the world from the outside. You vaguely wonder what it’s like to roam around freely and occupy as much as space as everyone else seem to be doing naturally. Then you decide that you’re better off staying where you are. At least here you don’t feel invaded all the time. You remember vividly the times in the past where you felt invaded, or can remember if you try hard enough. It felt overwhelming. It felt like you were being teared apart, dissipating, disappearing. Like you were nothing and no one. It hurted. It hurted so much you now just closed off the entire world out, so as not the end up in that situation again. It somewhat makes you nostalgic, because you feel like you’ve given up on love. But if that’s what it takes to be an individual and find yourself again, then that’s fine. That’s fine, you tell yourself. Rather than reliving that nightmare, giving up on love is fine, you say. So you catch yourself resisting. Resisting to the flux, resisting on giving up yourself again to that person who seemed to demand too much out of you, who spoke with you gently and wanted to make you feel seen. Resist, resist, resist. Resist the impulse of giving yourself up. Maybe in the past this need was almost neurotic and brought you regret. Resist - that’s the way you find a sense of self, almost. What are you resisting? What are you trying to avoid to be impacted by? Why do you try so hard to isolate and find a sense of self? Deep inside you know. It’s because you feel so desperately the want and desire to be loved and to love that it’s overwhelming. You fear you may give yourself up too easily if you were to just give a tiny tidbit of yourself to the world. If you accept feeling seen once you’ll want to be seen over and over again. If you accept to be loved by someone you feel like you may end up being engulfed by that love and to lose yourself in it completely. But you need to resist that impulse, so that you won’t lose yourself. Why do you need to resist so much? Because you would otherwise lose yourself in the flux of reality and people. Because you would otherwise be invaded by the world, pulled in, lose control of yourself, your wants and desires. Yeah, maybe this is all a recurring theme of yours, I can’t possibly know. You realize your little bubble and space is indeed related to the outside world, in the sense that you’re resisting to be involved by it so much. Maybe one day you’ll be able to be involved and touched by it like everyone else. Maybe one day you’ll be able to love and be loved again. But right now that sounds a little terrifying, truth be told... If you were to be described like a lonely rover on Mars you would giggle, thinking that’s cute and makes you feel independent and all, but also... deep inside you feel it’s actually kind of sad, and you wish there was a way to at least keep some kind of contact to the earth.

I don’t know how to break it to you but this is all Enneagram Nine. Throw out the window all the generic descriptions about being a fucking doormat.

From here:

“9’s aren’t consciously afraid of being separated. They are just unconsciously always in a place where they naturally become everyone/everything. The gut centre focus is on ego boundaries and 9’s have a fluid one. This can often cause 9’s to consciously revolt against this natural process and crystallize some kind of separate identity. In a way, 9’s can end up being the most stubborn about exactly “who they are” as they try to keep their feet firmly on the ground in terms of their own ego boundary. So when a 9 reads that the core fear is “fear of loss/separation” they might think, “Hell, I’m the opposite.” 9’s often equate being different/unique with ego boundaries. I often catch 9’s mistyped as 4’s using specific language that points to type 9. For example they might say that they are just trying to be themselves as if the world is forcing them to be otherwise. This implies that there’s a natural propensity to lose themselves in others that’s essentially unconscious and they are fighting against that impulse and desperately want the validation that they are in fact a specific separate personality. It is in our nature as social beings to want our own unique identity.“

What are Fives then? Are they really actually SEPARATED THAT much? Like they were “a lonely rover on Mars” and GENUINELY happy by that idea? Apparently yes. “Oh but that’s unhealthy” yeah it is, from your Nine point of view of wanting to be connected to someone/something/reality. I don’t know much about Fives but if your enneatype is UNCONSCIOUS and its desires are as unconscious as mine as a Nine are, then yeah, they are genuinely happy by that idea and don’t think themselves of “getting over it” anywhere near the future, or ever, for that matter. Is it difficult to imagine a person like that? I guess. Fives are rare, in fact. “Oh but everyone wants to be loved by people deep inside” I don’t know? But that may be untrue in that most people are Nines so it makes sense that “oh but everyone-” and Nineish stuff actually follows. They may want/find love but it will only be in their rigid terms... and certainly not in the form of being liked by people in general or whatever. Having a repressed need to be liked by people around you is just not Five, sorry. “Oh but who wants to be hated/disliked by people around them?” I don’t know, some do I guess. There’s many people in the world not everyone will work like you do. Fives are rigid about what they want and how they spend their time. As I tried to connect with people, I was kind of malleable - I mean, not too much, in that I wanted to respect myself and my space, but I still had very little expectations from others coming in and was willing to adapt.

I felt like I was “growing and getting healthy” as I started to connect with people more and more, and in a way I am, but the main thing is that I’ve been satisfying my Nine desires more and more through the years. Allowed myself to recognize those desires and do something to satisfy them. That’s nice, but that’s Nine. Even an healthy Five wouldn’t be as happy to give away their time like that or something idk

The happiest times in my life where those where I felt connected to reality, to my own life and to the people around me. I struggled to get that feeling for a long time, truth be told. And when I got it, I was afraid I could ruin it. That sounded basic but apparently it really is just Nine. I heard a podcast with a couple Fives in it and it was just mindblowing how differently they operate lmao..... I mean when I first heard it I still thought I was a Five but I was sad and hurt at the idea of being lost in space and disconnected THAT much from everyone and everything. That was Nine kicking in. Fives aren’t that scared of this - actually, they want this. Again, unconsciously - like they don’t even notice it. I did notice when I retreated myself in my cocoon, on the other hand.

I know you’re upset but please. Please. This was all so freeing for me to realize. It helps you so much. Please don’t dismiss it saying that idk I’m generalizing too much or that this can apply to Fives too if fixes and variants are taken into account or whatever. Please stop making excuses and saying “oh but these two types are so similar” they’re not, like at all-

#enneagram #enneagram 5 #ennea5 #ennea9 #enneagram 9 #ennea4 #enneagram 4 #sometimes i say stuff

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oraclekleo · 2 years

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omg thank you sm for the reading! this was one of the first readings that i’ve read that super resonated with me! the last part on how i am as a friend was what what wowed me i was like “yup this person defo knows what they’re on” i’ve never been in a relationship and i’m not married either (ik how sad 😩) but i can definitely see what you said as being accurate, it’s like you’re describing future me in a relationship. i’ve never been in a one night stand before but what you said is exactly how i think about it. thank you sm for providing me with such an interesting experience! <33 i also wanted to comment on your other tarot readings (that i’ve somehow managed to read all in one sitting 😹😹). as someone who reads natal charts, i found it so cool how your tarot readings matched their natal charts really well. i first started reading the ateez ones because that’s the group that i’m into and i was just wowed, especially the seonghwa reading (that was the reading that brought me to your account). idk i haven’t seen many tarot readings on this app that matched their natal chart so i thought that was really cool! anyways, apologies for such a long feedback and i can’t wait to see more of your work in the future!! <33

Honestly, I don't consider being single a sad thing. I have been single my entire life so far and I'm not intending to change it in future. Do you think I would get where I am, if there were men in my life, disturbing me, distracting me, slowing me down and hanging on my neck like a massive weigh pulling me down? Hardly. I think being single is the happiest option. But then again, I'm special case. I'm both mentaly and physically completely unsuitable for forming a couple. 😁

Anyway! I'm happy you find the reading accurate. You know I have done quite a lot of them now but it still amazes me when people actually finds pieces of their true self in what I have written. I guess that will never change. I'm very grateful for your feedback, it means a lot to me. It's greatly valuable and gives me the chance to learn. 💝💖

I'm not really an expert on natal charts myself, I know the sun signs but that's about it for now, so your insight in this is very appreciated. I'm glad my readings follow what was already written in the stars for the members. I will soon expand my knowledge in natal chart area as I have two astrologic decks now and will explore how I can actually connect natal chart reading with card reading more effectively. 😏

I wish I could actually ask some idol whether my reading is accurate or not. I know there are people in direct contact with some of them through apps and social media but I can't do that myself and I can't possibly ask other people to go all the way and asking the idols on my behalf. So I guess the natal charts and impressions are the best I can get. 😂

I can't comment on the mentions of other readings on this app. I have read none, to be honest. I still consider myself an apprentice when it comes to tarot and I don't want to read other people's readings till I'm certain about my own take and my own voice. It could cloud my own vision and affect me. I will go and explore the methods how other people read cards in future but first I have to be confident about my own method enough. 😊

Thank you once again for your feedback!

P.S. Are there other groups apart Ateez you are interested in? You can always request new groups to be done. 😉

#oracle kleo

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ntamain · 4 years

Photo

Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she's gay?

another gay gem from the r/relationship reddit

Update:

Image ID under the cut, please let me know if I did it wrong!

[Image ID: four screenshots of a post from the relationship subreddit by tumblr user nta-main. The title reads “Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she’s gay?”

The text reads “Update post is now locked, I cant believe so many people were interested in us!! Thank you again for your support, comments and messages.

Hi all, I can't believe I'm asking for advice from a bunch of strangers on the internet but I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. Sorry for the incoming essay but I guess I need to give history. I bought my first house in September last year, It was an odd time but everything just fell into place. It's quite a small village and everyone is really friendly so I got to know my neighbours soon after moving in - yes, socially distanced. Then I met my over-the-road neighbour, let's call her Elle. I can't describe it but it's the first time I've ever met someone and been lost for words and my heart was racing and just thought "omg", y'know?? So after I blushed my way through a welcome to the village type convo we only saw each other for a wave and hello for a few days.

To help kinda settle in I had my dog (Bea) with me for the first few weeks. During this time there was a massive increase in dog thefts in a nearby town, not just from gardens but literally wrestled away from people. If I'd have been working (furloughed off and on since March) then I would've taken Bea back to mum's but since I was home with her all day she stayed. So the local police advised to not walk dogs alone but we go out twice a day, a 10k run in the morning and a few miles walk in the evening. So obvs this scares me, but at the same time she is honestly a pain in the arse and gets upset if she doesn't go for a run and needs to be tired out so I'm kind of stuck at this point. Then along comes Elle. She knocked on the door and offered to come with us as she'd seen Bea and me in the evenings and everything kind of spiralled from there. I told her about my morning runs but she didn't really bite so I thought nothing of it. Then a few days later I bumped into her on a run, so she started joining us on those too.

A few months later and we are spending more and more time together everyday. It has now progressed to a run early morning, afternoon coffee, dinner most evenings and then the evening walk. It just seemed to happen without me really noticing. I didn't read into things that much as I don't want to get my hopes up and ruin anything until another neighbour commented about how much time we spend together and how "it's nice to see you young gals getting on" and winked. She actually winked at me. I asked her what she meant but she just laughed and said "you know what I mean". So now I'm looking back on things and wondering if she could like me too?

Here's some reasons why she might like me:

I went running along the same route at the same time for nearly 2 weeks before I happened to run into her a few days after I told her this?

I make her a coffee every afternoon (Elle is WFH) and take it over in her fave mug. She says I make good coffee but I'm pretty sure I saw a fancy coffee machine the first time I went round (it's not there now?).

Elle carried on running and walking with me even after Bea went home. I told her she was going back to mum's and she said well "I'll have to make another excuse to join you" and then we just carried on everyday.

She has tried really hard to bond with Bea. Bea is a very anxious dog and is scared of everyone except me and mum. Elle bought special treats to give her everyday and has been so amazing with her and never tried to force anything. When I asked her she said "it's important to me that she likes me and is comfortable". Bea actually fell asleep between us on the sofa yesterday and It just makes my heart skip a beat guys.

She invited me to the zoom quiz she does with her friends every fortnight or so and they were all like "oh so this is who we've heard so much about "

We realised we had become each other's support bubble. Elle asked if I was meeting anyone else and I said no, she said she was glad she had me all to herself (!!)

We gave each other quite personal xmas presents. Like, it actually made me tear up it meant so much to me. And she bought stuff for Bea!!

Reasons why she might not like me:

All the reasons above, but that she's just doing them because she's a fucking great person and we're friends?

It might sound dumb but idk I need your help guys. She is the just the most incredible person I have ever met and I really really like her but if she isn't gay or doesn't feel the same I don't want to lose her friendship as she has become such a huge part of my life. I genuinely have no experience with these kind of things as I went to quite a strict all girls school, so it's not as if there were any relationships around me as a teen and then I went to a very small uni (8 of us on my course). I guess another reason is that I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the past 10 years, as well as my weight and working on my self confidence, but I can say that right now I am the happiest and healthiest (both mentally and physically) I have ever been. I've only just really become comfortable with the fact that I'm gay and I have never really told anyone in real life, but I don't think people would be too surprised lol. I don't have any close friends as no one stuck around when I was really struggling with my MH a few years ago so I can't discuss this with anyone irl.

So I need your advice : how do I find out if she is gay? And no, I don't have the confidence to just ask!! What if she says no and I ruin everything? She has never mentioned anything about past relationships and I'm pretty tactless so not sure how I could naturally slip it into the convo. Like, "hey tell me have you ever had a girlfriend? Do you want one now?" Lol. And how can I make a move without really making a move so I don't ruin things??

tl;dr : Don't know whether my neighbour is gay and into me or is just really friendly. How can I make a move without ruining our friendship?

Edit: Ok guys, thank you so so much for all your support and encouragement. You've all given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to casually slip some gay stuff into conversation and see how she reacts. Then bring up the neighbours comment like some of you suggested, seeing as tho the neighbour was heavily implying that we're gay. I'll do it tonight otherwise I'll talk myself out of it again. I will post an update to let you know what happens (eek). If you never hear from me again assume it went badly and I am consoling myself with cake and watching brokeback mountain in floods of tears.

Hi reddit, yes it's me the useless lesbian. First off I want to thank you all for your support, encouragement and advice - and the undeserved awards! I never expected this many of you to take the time to comment and that so many of you were rooting for us.

So I had the plan to drop these gay hints into convo like you guys suggested but honestly it all went out the window. Elle was kinda stressed friday after a shitty work zoom and just needed to vent so it wasnt the right time to start anything. Though I guess I must have been a bit off thanks to spending all day overthinking things on here, as Elle turned up Saturday morning rambling about stressing me out and apologised (!!) for ruining dinner. Obvs I said "what are you talking about you can talk to me about anything", and she said "anything?" and I said "anything" back. And guys the tension was unreal, staring at each other and hoping our lesbian mind reading powers would kick in.

Then there was some loud noise like a car backfiring or something and the moment went. So I went to make coffee and then Elle asked me why I was a bit quiet the night before and I said something about overthinking stuff and she said "what stuff" and idk you guys I wasnt prepared to be put on the spot my casual gay pop culture references were useless in this moment. My mind just went completely blank and I forgot every single thing you guys suggested and my heart was pounding and I just blurted out you know I like you, right?.

...And then she kissed me. Kissed me. We straight up just snogged in the kitchen and it was fucking great. So...you were right. You were all fucking right. She's gay, she likes me and has been trying to drop hints for nearly 5 months. sigh

We were both just too scared to make a move or ruin anything. Turns out she's been burned by straight girls in the past, so she's pretty wary and was hoping I'd straight up say I'm a lesbian so she'd know for sure - maybe the I'm a lesbian wall hanging would've been a good idea after all? Her friends have been helping her drop hints, she showed me the group chat and guys their suggestions ranged from flirting more to just turning up in a trenchcoat and nothing else lol. Also, the winking neighbour has been making comments to her as well, so shout out to her for trying to make this happen too.

So no cake and cry watching brokeback mountain, just 5 months of dating to catch up on. As for worrying about how our current schedule could be more date like during lockdown, you were right it's kinda irrelevant when you've essentially been dating the whole time. Though we never made it to our morning run yesterday, in fact we didn't leave the house at all, ha.

Thank you guys for giving me hope, even if all your suggestions completely disappeared in the moment. Maybe I'll show her the post later and ask if any of the suggestions would have worked.

tl;dr: she's gay, into me and I'm an idiot”

End image ID]

#this is for sure already on tumble #but it's so cute #I had to #mine #r/relationships #tw// ed #edit: I'll add a transcript in a minute just gotta figure out how to make it accessible

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bringingglory · 3 years

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thank you so much for the tags @hanamuri @fullmetalscullyy @megthemighty @nightofnyx8 @tsaritsa !

How many works do you have on AO3? 11! some are botw, one is tdiapt, some are fma, and some are haikyuu! i mostly just write for whatever im interested in at the moment/whichever fandom inspiration strikes for

What's your total AO3 word count? 101,939

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Keep Your Friends Closer But Your Enemies Closer - T: ahhhh my miraculous ladybug fic! ive literally been working on her for FOREVER and i swear to god im going to finish it, i literally know how i want to end it and i know all the events leading up to it. hell, i even have a vague idea of what i want to happen in the middle, i just need to know what order the middle stuff happens in and also i just have to write it. It's an AU where Ladybug and Chat Noir are actually enemies but then Chat Noir accidentally befriends Marinette and then drama etc etc etc.

rain - G: first zelink fic babey! set Pre-Calamity and basically link and zelda get stuck in a cave because of the rain and there's just a lot of quiet pining, etc etc.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Oikawa - T: HAHAHA this was a crack fic inspired by my roommate but then i forgot it was supposed to be a crack fic while writing it and there are accidentally real emotions alkjdfalksdf but anyway it was very fun to write lmao. it was based off this meme and basically it's an AU where Oikawa is Spider-Man and Iwaizumi doesn't know but they still like hang out and stuff. It's a lot of fun, or at least I think it is, haha.

stolen moments - T: first royai fic!!! just a series of "stolen moments" (mic drop) where roy and riza like cant be together but yknow, they try. lots of pining. etc

a secret weapon of sorts - T: 5+1 edwin fic inspired by the Simple People OVA where instead of ed giving winry earrings to get out of trouble, he gives her kisses.

Do you reply to comments, why or why not? Yes! I try really hard to!!! Sometimes I get overwhelmed and I don't respond to comments for a while, but I absolutely do my best to when I remember because I feel like it's my way of saying "thank you" for them reading my fics in the first place, haha.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Uhhhhh, sleepless I guess? But it's more open-ended/not explicitly positive more than anything, though even then I feel like I've got a hint of hope in there. alkjdfhalsdk idk man I just, I can't write *pure* angst, there's gotta be some light, and thus I could never end anything angstily

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? LMAO most of my fics??? I guess??? bc despite being an anxious piece of shit, I am an optimist by heart

Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written? When I was younger! Idk, I guess the Rise of the Brave Frozen Tangled Dragons fandom??? if anyone remembers what that is lmao

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not exactly? Maybe some weird comments on KYFCBYEC but even then, it wasn't that often.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? No no no no no no no no. I am telling you, I physically cannot write smut. I don't think I actually have the capacity. Absolute fucking kudos to every single smut writer out there bc it truly is an art form capturing that intimacy and emotion and etc, but I literally get flustered from writing mildly detailed kiss scenes. If I ever wrote smut, I would burst into flames on the spot.

Actually lies, I technically wrote smut once, but it was at the request of my roommates and they wanted me to write a crack smut fic of Y/N x our uni's mascot and I wrote that thing in like 3 hours with so many silly memes to keep myself sane (not like other girls, tongues battled for dominance, etc), did not edit it, and because it was so, like, not serious, I was actually able to get through it. But even then, when I wrote "thrusting" I literally had to put my laptop down for 20 minutes.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet! Someone commented on Your Friendly Neighborhood Oikawa and asked if they could translate it and I said yes! They haven't gotten around to it yet, but I would love to see it if they do!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet!

What’s your all-time favourite ship? Bro it changes day to day. You can't ask me this lmao. The current ship I'm most fixated on is Iwaoi, but I wouldn't say they're my all-time favorite.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I'm not answering this energy. On god, I'm going to finish things. I want to.

What are your writing strengths? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh very good question lmao. I don't really like thinking about "strengths" in my writing bc who am I to say? akjdslakfjdf idk, instead, I'm just gonna say some things I like/try to do in my writing, which are: conversational prose/having a lot of voice in the narration, I try to add humor wherever I can, and recently I've gotten better and metaphors and describing things bc I picked up writing poetry a year ago!

What are your writing weaknesses? hmmm, a thing I dislike about my writing/the writing process is that I'm slow to publish things and slow to finish things because I'm such a messy first drafter and I also take forever to edit. I would like to uhhhhh get things out faster. Also I tend to repeat myself a lot bc I forget the details of things I write sometimes lmao.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Hmmm, I dunno, I guess I don't have any strong thoughts? The only other language I know is Mandarin but even then, I suck ass at that, so I'll prolly never write dialogue in another language simply bc I like to try to portray things semi-realistically and I don't think I have a good enough grasp on any other language the same way I do in English to produce authentic enough dialogue.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Fablehaven I guess? But Idk I was in fourth grade an didn't even know what fandom was yet. Rise of the Guardians, maybe?

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

AHHHH idk??? maybe hold your hand out in the dark because i really experimented with my writing on that one and im sort of proud of the result, just like the fact that i wanted to try something new and it turned out alright. that or Sunset Wheeling which is an iwaoi fic where they just skate, and like it's prolly one of the most self-indulgent things i've ever written because it's silly and they just. skate. but aljdfalsjd idk i loved it and i churned it out in 6 days and it was a lot of fun lol

ahhh a bunch of people have been tagged already, so sorry if im tagging you again, but for now im just gonna tag @niconiconina @notkorras @thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee @firewoodfigs and anyone else who wants do it!

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cookiedoughmeagain · 3 years

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Thanks for the tag @halfthealphabet ! Fanfic writer questions ...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

er, 190 apparently. Not really sure how that happened. There are a few more on the way for the AU-gust challenge :)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

Not including the episode notes; 491,066

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

It’s actually more than I thought: the total list is 16, though almost all of my fics are for Haven. In fact I got curious enough to work it out; literally 90% of them involve Haven.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Wrong Number (Nuke/Threegulls)

Anticipation (Threegulls)

Tell Me You Meant It (Naudrey/Nuke/Threegulls)

I Love the Sound (Nuke)

I Could Stand To See A Little More (Naudrey/Threegulls)

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Definitely ‘Addicted to the feel of her skin’, by a long shot. 110% angst from start to finish.

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Hmmmmm well … maybe ‘Made of Aether and Held Together with Love’ (an alternative version of Dwight and Duke’s final scene). Or I like the ending to the series that begins with ‘I Could Stand To See A Little More’, and also the ending to ‘Tell Me You Meant It’, aaaannndddd the ending to ‘The Three Of Us’ which I just went to re-read and it actually made me cry because it is kind of emotional but in a happy way :)

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

Yes, I’ve got a few. Not sure about the craziest, maybe The Smuggler and The Big Bad’… Haven and Buffy ... what happens when a vampire drinks Crocker blood full of aether?

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yesssss, mostly M/M or M/M/F, mostly Nuke or Threegulls. Almost all of it is Haven. There’s some fluffy stuff, some angsty stuff, some stuff with restraints and planned out games, some where they just jump each other, some getting-together stuff, some established-relationship stuff, some based closely on canon, some in AU settings pretty far from canon, some non-con stuff, some crossovers. I’m currently working on something involving shibari (even though I know nothing about it, so we’ll see how that goes!) Oh and a couple of things in the works for Lost Girl :)

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes - it’s lovely to get comments, so it just seems like the natural thing to respond.

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No. Mostly due to writing in a small and friendly fandom I think :)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Someone copied and pasted some of my stuff into their fic (without any prior interaction with me). That was a pretty surreal experience reading my exact words in some stranger’s fic.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!!! Amazingly yes! Into Russian!!! Still blows my mind that that happened. The original is here (explicit PWP)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not much, a little bit with @greyhavenisback - ‘Proposal’ (fluffy Nuke fluff :)

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

Nathan/Duke

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Too many. There's a Buffy/Firefly crossover that I’m kind of sad I stalled on. And a Haven/Firefly crossover that I can’t quite seem to get together, even though I know how I want it to end which is usually a fairly solid sign I’ll finish something. And my current ongoing WIP has potential plot spanning at least 27 years so that … is going to keep me busy for a while lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

Well … we’ve established I’ve written a fair amount of smut, so I guess that’s probably on the list. Most of those top-five-by-kudos are pretty smutty ones. And, idk maybe characterisation, dialogue. I think what I’m drawn to most is describing how these characters talk to each other, how they feel about each other, how they react to each other. So sometimes that’s a line of dialogue, sometimes it’s trying to describe the tone of voice or the type of smile or the way one person reaches for another, or the way their breath catches when one of those other things happens. Trying to capture an emotion and pin it down into words on a page. I think that’s a big part of what keeps me writing so hopefully I have some aptitude in it XD I’ve had some really nice comments about specific lines of dialogue being in character :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot. Planning anything out, but specifically any detailed kind of a plot. Like I always have really vague thoughts that it would be cool to do a Haven crossover with something like White Collar or Leverage … but those intricate crimes and cons type of plot lines are really just beyond me.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don’t have the language skills to do that. It’s not something I’ve come across as a reader.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Haven! I never expected to even read any fanfiction, let alone write anything. Then Duke Crocker and Nathan Wuornos buried their way into my head and here we are ;)

20. What's your favourite fic you've written?

Ooooof, I’m supposed to pick one?

OK Let’s go with Made of Aether and Held Together with Love (an alternative version of Dwight and Duke’s final scene, in 1770 words) because it tackles the one aspect of canon that I really can not get my head around why the writers did that. Like, I’m not saying everything else is perfect but I can kind of let most things go. And I can understand why they might have wanted to write Duke’s ending the way they did … but in that case, guys, you can’t also give Lizzie the ending you did. It doesn’t make any sense; pick one or the other. And there’s no attempt in the show to explain that contradiction; it just feels like they didn’t think it through, which is frustrating.

And I like how that fic worked out and how I can visualise it happening because it would have been so easy for them to actually film it like that - I can almost convince myself it actually happened on screen ;)

Tagging ... anyone who sees this! I think most people I'd tag already have been, but if you see this and you write stuff, give it a go - always interesting to look back over old stuff :)

#fic things #my fic

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outropeace · 4 years

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elotito tagged me on this so i’m gonna do it for her <33333

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted

i began to write in general since i was around 14 like any other emo kid kdjdjsks and o began to write fics when a friend asked me for one as a birthday present. it was written in a hurry and it’s not my favorite but i really enjoyed doing it. i posted that exact same fic on their birthday

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?

it depends the fic i guess. and not really, i think the closest i’ve been to do that is in the rockstar au (coming to the @bottomlouisficfest very soon), i put one or two of my old insecurities in h so he could connect better and wouldn’t be persieved as just an asshole-y dude cause i don’t like that and louis don’t deserve that uwu🌸

3. where do you often find inspiration?

music, movies, tiktoks (DONT JUDGE KDKDKS)

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?

before the quarantine i had around 3 wips, now i have 8

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence?

i listen lofi youtube playlists shjdkld

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?

me repeating “Oh...” over and over again through tall my fics, it shouldn’t be legal

7. describe your ideal writing setup

rainy day, good coffee, comfy sweater, my cat besides me, arely sending texts about teeth/imessage games, snacks

8. favorite time of day to write?

nights (it’s usually when i have time)

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?

i’d LOVE to write a thriller

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?

i just leave the fic for a bit, i don’t really like to push myself about this cause i’m just doing it for fun

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult?

the easiest is the dialogues, i could write pages and pages of just dialogues in hours and the hardest is the smut dhjdd

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable)

it depends, is the antagonist? i ask myself how’d i feel if i were them, like a third party just trying (and usually failing) to get in between

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?

i like “wet” i just... yeah.... and least favorite i don’t really know tbh

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?

i like that people conect with the characters because i always put a lot of effort in making them realistic (as much as i can), i make them flawled and sometimes even messy but with good hearts and intentions, all of them are (even the antagonists). and my grammar OH MY GOD MY GRAMMAR

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?

hands down the ice prince fic. and funny thing is, i already had my prompt for the fic fest but i just couldn’t stop thinking about one particular prompt about a bratty prince and an alpha who hated omegas and the amount of POSSIBILITIES that had. two days later or so, the mods of the fest gave us the opportunity to pick another prompt if we wanted and the rest is HISTORY

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?

11 and single

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?

baby do we have TIME FOR THIS ONE?

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?

yes, always 100000000%

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?

angst, sadness, anguish, sorrow, jealousy, i love to hurt hearts. and it’s not an emotion but after they get together it’s really difficult to me to actually keep going (oh god dkdkdkkdd)

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?

that that’s okay to fuck up, that no matter the circumstances you have to respect your partner and TALK WITH THEM and that a person can be successful, independent and a badass while being soft and a c*mslut

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?

i think “write whatever you like, you’re not being paid for it anyways” is the best and only advise i’ve actually listened to

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?

it’s complicated cause my two favorites are abos and idk how that would work dkskkss but the ice prince and the alpha/alpha fic

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?

chronologically but i have a document apart where i write everything that comes to my mind at the moment, that one is A MESS

24. how do you handle criticism?

i think good, if it’s respectful

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?

trust yourself, have fun

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?

ANY type of positive feedback makes my day tbh

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?

none tbh dkdkks and louis, obviously

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?

about my stories, i love when people just come to rant to me about certain things the characters did and ask me why they did it

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?

it relaxes me a lot. i just can write for hours and hours and it just feels nice and in some way exciting

30. why do you write?

refer to question 29 kdkdkxk

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote

from the exes to lovers au:

The second hiccup of the night came in the form of his ex smiling to a boy sitting next to him on a couch. The boy had gorgeous, dark and wild hair, clear hazel eyes and a pretty pouty mouth. Their body language screamed attraction and that they both were ready to devour each other. Louis was familiar to the smile Harry was giving to him, bright and seductive, ready to give anything you asked for.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about

right now i’m very excited for the happiest season au, my “cliche story” au and for my exes to lovers au dksks i’m excited about a lot of my wips i’m so sorryjdjd

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of

from the alpha/alpha au:

“I’m not giving up on love,” He softly touched the hand that was still grabbing his thigh. “To me, love is like flowers. Each one needs a special treatment, if you give an orchid the same treatment you give to an iris, the orchid will die. Same thing with love. I’m not giving up on love, I’m just changing the treatment. We might not be an orchid, but we could make such a pretty iris.”

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s)

favorite first line from the sugar baby au:

Powerful people only end up with powerful people. The rest are just playthings in their lives. Louis Tomlinson was many things, but he wasn’t anybody’s plaything.

favorite last line from the ice prince fic:

“Who would have guessed…” Harry whispered after a while, smiling against Louis’ lips. “the dragon finally got to keep the princess.”

5a. link the last fic you read

HAYLEY’S MASTERPIECE

6a. link the last work you published

that’d be the ice prince fic

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable)

hereee

8a. someone that inspires you

louis teheeee

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year

god, again, there’s so so many of them, like the amount of authors i’m so grateful for, the list is infinite but these are a few that comes to my mind

all elote’s (@defencelesst) fics makes me really really happy and never fails to give me a cozy/wintery feeling, her louis IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING ON EARTH AND HER HARRY IS JUST PERFECTION, i’m in love with her descriptions and how she just takes you THERE. hanis @loulicate-recs always makes me smile so fucking hard. ris @falsegoodnight fics NOW.... well.... ris fics they make me smile but also make me want to throw my phone to the other side of the room BEST OF BOTH WORLD IG. MAR’S FICS (loubellies on twitter, idk their @ here i’m sORRY) ARE LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS AT THE MOMENT, such a pretty louis IM SO IN LOVE WITH MAR’S LOUIS ITS UNFAIR

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag!

omg i’m probably so late to this and idk how many of you have actually done this so here goes nothing @allwaswell16, @runaway-train-works, @greenfeelings, @kingsofeverything, @thepolourryexpress, @larents

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phantaloon-books · 4 years

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I finally read The Tyrant's Tomb and boi I loved this one so much, so here's some my opinion on it (they're not in chronological order)

warning, this is long af and sorry for cursing a bit, I can't help it

Apollo's character arc is lowkey one of the best Rick has written, I'm sorry if you don't agree, but he's gone from wanting others to solve his problems and relying on the halfbloods to intentionally avoiding others doing things for him, volunteering for the quests and saying it should be him that faces the terrible stuff so that demigods and other creatures don't suffer

something really interesting is how his perception of himself has changed, and it's almost worrying how genuinely self depreciating his inner dialogue is, because he no longer sees himself as mighty Apollo, he sees himself as worthless and useless Lester, and his narration is highkey depressing

Also, Apollo disliking and being somewhat disgusted of the god he used to be, realizing the horrible things he had done and how horrible he was and that he looked worse as the former Apollo than as Lester, regretting things he'd done, that's top tier development

(I'm sorry but I love the entire scene with the ravens, the part where he just screams "I'm sorry" it feels as if he isn't just apologizing to the ravens, but to everyone who's been affected by what he's done as a selfish god)

Reyna so openly turning down and laughing at Apollo for suggesting they be together is my favorite thing ever lmao I couldn't stop laughing, like she knew what gods can do if you turn them down (even if it was just mortal Lester) and she didn't give a damn, it was so fucking funny

people say Rick only includes diversity for the sake of including it and to gain popularity, but I still enjoy the fact that he does, because as a teacher he must have had all kinds of students of all religions, colors and sexualities, he includes diversity because he's seen diversity. anyway my point is I love that we have Lavinia, a Jewish lesbian from a Russian family, and she's not ashamed of being any of them

I'm sorry I just love Apollo so much, I've grown to respect him so much, and even if Hermes once said them gods often forget their oaths and promises, I have a feeling Apollo won't ever forget Jason's request that he never forgets what's it like to be mortal

Frank still admiring Apollo despite everything, and despite the fact that he looks like a messed up teen makes me go all uwu

Frank being portrayed as this clumsy and awkward kid but also this powerful and brave leader is my favorite thing ever because I think Frank is underrated and I dare to say that he's one of the strongest demigods we've ever met, even stronger than some of the nig three children

the whole thing about the undead army is honestly so creepy, especially when we see it from Apollo's perspective cause se him slowly succumb to the venom's effect, and that part in Tarquin's tomb where he "calls Lester to be part of his undead" was genuinely disturbing, at least to me

some books in the past have touched the part of the nature spirits not being given enough attention, but I really enjoyed how Apollo comes to realize that he only worries about demigods and gods when all lives are worth the same - mortals, halfbloods, nature spirits, gods, and even monsters

again, I love Apollo's arc, it's just AHH he's becoming so caring of life it just makes me happy

Reyna choosing herself to make herself happy is everything, and inspiring to every single woman who is told by others that they need someone to be happy, I just love it, because self love is the most important love of all

I haven't said anything about it, but man I love Meg and Apollo's friendship, they just care so much for each other, Meg who's so scared of losing her loved ones and Apollo who's so scared of not being able to be loved or to love, but they still love each other, and I'm glad it's not romantic, because yes fraternal love is also what people need, and their friendship is what they need

aurum and argentum being cute doggos rather than the steely (no pun intended) and cold dogs we met in HoO warms my heart. I don't understand why they're so cute and adorable, or maybe that's just how Apollo sees them, but they seem to act like actual dogs in this book

the fact that Reyna never confirmed nor denied being attracted to Thalia just makes me all hyped up, like we love Theyna

Apollo just gives off Eddie Brock vibes throughout the entire book and that's hilarious asf. ever since the start he's said to look like shit, feel like shit and be injured with deathly poison that will turn him to a zombie. if that isn't Venom vibes I don't know what is

I've said it once and I'll say it again, Frank Zhang is one of the strongest demigods Rick has ever introduced in a series, and him facing two immoral and godly in power emperors, burning one to death with his own life fire and injuring the other enough for Apollo to do the final kill is top tier

"If I'm going to burn, I might as well burn bright. This is for Jason." bitch actual goosebumps

We've seen countless deaths before, but something about Frank killing Caligula and Apollo killing Commodus seems so... mature I guess is the word, or well for a more mature audience. I can't describe how or why, but it feels more real, more like actual human death

I can't deal with how human Apollo seems in this book gosh I really am sorry I keep bringing this up, but I feel such warmth

the story of how Frank overcame his curse is actual BS and as much as I love Frank, it makes no sense that they spent all that time thinking of ways to keep the wood secure only for this. idk I mean id that were the case wouldn't the curse had vanished when he broke Thanatos free? he was willing to die then just like against Caligula, so why now but not then?

Don reincarnating into a laurel is peak bittersweet feeling and it actually hurt because in a camp where fauns were seen as dumb and useless, he helped Lavinia organize everything and destroy the canon things on the yachts

I'm still not over Jason's death, he really did deserve better. It makes sense, plotwise, because out of all of the huge characters from the past, Jason, Percy and Annabeth's deaths would impact others the harder, and push them to do better. And I understand that you gotta show, not even the main characters survive sometimes. Still, I'm hurt.

Thalia talking to Apollo during the funeral for the fallen campers made me actually weep. I'm not sure if it was because of Jason, or when Thalia talked about how much Artemis loves Apollo, or when Apollo "accepted" halfblood children of Zeus as his family

Also, you know who deserved better? Harpocrates, damn right he deserved better. I nearly cried when I read his death, cause he embraced it like one would an old friend in happiness. He and the Sybil deserved better. Dakota also deserved better

On the other hand, I tried so hard not to laugh at 2 am as I read Tarquin demand answers from a cat? he genuinely thought a cat would tell him where the Sybilline Books where and I couldn't handle that

This book is cruel but in a much more human way? The maiming of the pegasi wings? that's horrifying, but in such a human way, unlike what we've seen in any of the greek/roman gods series, and it's unsettling

Meg is braver than any of the other demigods were at that age (maybe excepting Nico), cause she's not embarking on a quest to retrieve an item or rescue someone or bring back their sister from the dead, she's facing her own abusive father while aiding a somewhat weak mortal in releasing the oracles and gaining godhood back. what's she getting from it all? absolutely nothing, she's gifted some seeds and she hangs out with unicorns more than other people and she's lost everything, but she's willing to lose more to help her friend. she's heroic like no one else is, because she's the first who doesn’t want anything more than being with her friend (Percy wanted whoever was taken back, Annabeth wanted to be able to be more, Nico wanted to bring back Bianca, even Bianca wanted freedom). the only other person who didn't have somewhat selfish (but kot wrong) interests while doing something heroic at a young age has been Hazel. What I mean is I love Meg and everything she does

Thalia being that chill over Jason's death bothers me so much, as if she wasn't the happiest when she found out the brother she lost 14 years ago was alive after all, and she had a part of her family back, and it was ripped from her, and Thalia is just not one to easily forget or move on from things, it's just unrealistic that she would only need a little furious session of throwing things to be okay with Jason's death as if her brother was not just taken from her all over again. it's impulsive Thalia we're talking about, who fought Percy when dealing with Annabeth going missing, it's just not her to be over his death that quickly. Sorry for Rick but I think differently

I also kinda don't like that Tyson went from being freaking General of the Cyclops, to the guy that has the Sybilline prophecies or whatever, it's important and all, but he would have been of great help during the battle and they had him waiting for help in the shrine hill like his potential went down the drain

but a thing I really loved was how different Camp Jupiter seems from Lester eyes compared from Percy's or Hazel's or Frank's perspective, it's hilarious. The other three see this place where everyone is serious and shit but Apollo just sees beyond the seriousness and it's actually refreshing, cause he's the first not to make CHB seem immature in comparison and like I said before I hated that in previous books

also Reyna laughing watered my plants, cured my depression, and made the world okay again, I just love her

all in all, this is my favorite book of ToA so far, and I'm really excited to see what's to come, and how Apollo and Meg will face Nero and Python, but more than anything I'm looking forward to what will happen to Apollo, and whether if given the choice, he'd go back to being a selfish god or remain mortal for a while, with his newfound friends

Also I really miss Annabeth so can I please see Annabeth, I just want to see her cause she won't deal with Apollo's shit and I can't wait to see that, I miss my girl

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all-you-need-is-paul-mccartney · 5 years

Text

The Couple Next Door III (Roger Taylor x Female!Reader)

Find Part II Here

A/N: Okay, yes, I may or may not have written this in less than a day, and no, I’m not the happiest with it. Then again, I’m not exactly always happy with what I produce. As long as my works entertain others, that’s all that matters.

But anywho, I wrote this part of the series in 3rd person Omniscient for Roger because we need to know what’s going inside that tiny head of his.

Don’t forget to leave notes, show your support and interest in my pieces by sending in a reply. All support and feedback is greatly appreciated! :)

Summary: Roger and you spend dinner at the Garrisons, and Roger does some thinking.

(Again, Borhap! or Canon! Rog, whatever tickles your peaches)

WARNINGS: Swearing, slow burn, mentions of sex (nO sMuT), mentions of drugs, alcohol, overthinking(?) idk this part made me a tiny bit sad)

I’m rating this a T, but the subject matter is a little heavier than my previous parts of this fic. I would advise you to proceed with caution.

Roger stepped out of the shower, staring at his muted reflection in the foggy mirror before reaching for a towel. He took his time towel-drying his hair, and by the time he’d dried himself completely off, the steam in the bathroom dissipated just enough for him to be able to make out his facial features in that same mirror.

At this point he reached for the blow dryer on the right side of the counter. After fully removing the vapour off the mirror with it, he used it to completely dry his hair.

His fingers ran through his blond strands carefully as he tried to make sure he didn’t leave anything wet.

As much as Roger liked his hair, he’d rather have some girl pulling on it than him.

But that was besides the point.

Roger set down the blow dryer after a while, and just stared at himself in the mirror, his hands on either side of the vanity.

What the fuck was he doing?

He decided to fake a relationship with you, (on a limb, I may add) for the benefits of having a nice place to live.

It sucked that his days of sleeping around were coming to an end, though he didn’t exactly mind it.

In a way, Roger loved you. But it was like… a weird love. Almost like a “you-are-my-best-friend-and-I-would-die-for-you-but-if-you-totally-wanted-to-kiss-me-I-wouldn’t-think-twice-about-reciprocating” kind of love.

He’d felt like this towards you since high school, but you were with someone, and he forced his feelings down by sleeping with so many women he probably couldn’t remember any of their names if he tried.

Eventually, with all the drugs and alcohol he consumed, and all the skirts he’d been under for the last five years, that other, almost forbidden feeling towards you, was gone.

Well… Until now.

"Rog, you good in there?“ You called through the bathroom door. The sound of your voice almost had his heart jump up into his throat. He circled a towel around his waist, and opened the door.

You looked him up and down, and Roger could swear he saw your cheeks glow. "Damn, you’re looking good, Rogie."

He choked out a strained laugh, averting his eyes to the small droplets of water on his feet. "Wel-uh.. th-thanks, um… y/n."

You rolled your eyes, a dopey smile on your face. "And you thought I took those compliments seriously.” You squeezed past a nearly heartbroken Roger in the threshold of the door, and you reached into the medicine cabinet for your toothbrush.

“All I need to do after this is put on my lipstick, and you’re not even dressed! We’re supposed to be over there in five minutes!"

This had Roger disappearing immediately into the second guest room on the left, the one you decided would be his room after he forfeited the master bedroom over to you.

You just shook your head before shoving your tooth brush into your mouth.

_______________________________

"Just… be calm."

"I am calm. You’re the one that’s not calm."

"Why would I tell you to be calm if I’m not?"

Roger was about to respond just before Anna opened the door. Roger and you immediately slapped painfully wide grins on your faces, and greeted the older woman with a soft hello as you stepped inside.

"Something smells good,” Roger complimented as he removed his jacket. "Thank you, Roger. It’s almost ready. I’d give it another fifteen minutes, and then we’ll dine.“

Roger nodded to Anna with a smile and turned towards you. He helped you take your jacket off, and you watched as he placed the coats on an empty hook on the wall.

He faced you again, and winked. He reached down and grabbed your hand, giving it a warm squeeze before you were both led further into the Garrison’s home.

Anna encouraged you both to take a seat on the sofa while she continued watching the food.

"Charlie kept an eye on the casserole while I grabbed the door. He’ll be out in just a minute, loves."

"Take your time,” you called to her as she made a beeline to the kitchen, leaving Roger and you alone.

Roger pursed his lips, twirling his thumbs in the sudden, and awkward silence. He took this time to examine the tidy, well-furnished home.

He began silently counting all of the framed photographs on the wall.

He came across one of Anna and Charles. It seemed to have been an older one compared to some of the others. They were in wedding attire, Roger guessed, from the thirties or forties, the newlyweds brandishing bright, and ecstatic grins.

He couldn’t help but smile back at the photograph.

He didn’t feel as if it were a necessity to get married, but he wished he would find pure elation being with you.

It didn’t matter if he could never properly marry you; if he discovered you were never in love with him in the first place… or even if things did turn out that way; he just saw you. No one else.

It had to be you.

Roger’s eyes flitted to the right when Charles returned from the kitchen.

"Sorry to keep you kids waiting,“ he said sincerely, sitting down in his living room chair.

” ’S no rush, Mr. Garrison,“ Roger assured him.

No one really decided to say anything after that. It was silent for a few second too long, and Charles laughed a little.

"Geez, are you guys uncomfortable? You both look tense. You’re good here. You can relax. Been a long day for you two–"

"Charlie?"

"Oop– Excuse me,"

Charles pardoned himself from your presence to see what his wife needed.

You sighed heavily, and Roger’s head began to spin.

How could this look more natural…?

”… hey um…“ Roger mumbled gently, successfully grabbing your attention, and you raised an eyebrow in confusion.

Roger licked his lips, his hand slowly lifting and moving to hover just over your knee. His eyes refused to look back into your own.

You caught sight of his hand in your peripherals, and after looking downwards, you glanced back up at Roger.

"Is uh… is it okay If I…?”

You simply nodded, and Roger sighed in relief, his hand lowering onto your leg. You shifted the smallest bit closer to him, and you smiled a little at how embarrassed he was to be touching you like he would with any other girl.

You placed your hand affectionately over top of his when he started rubbing circles on your pant leg with his thumb.

Your cheeks were a pretty shade of pink, and Roger’s were, too.

Charles returned from the kitchen just then. “She "lost her glasses”. They were right on her face and neither of us even noticed until she saw herself in the window!“

You and Roger laughed along with Charles in regards to his wife’s antics.

"But enough about her, I see her every day. Tell me more about you. How long have you had this one for, Roger?"

The drummer smiled at you, taking a moment to himself to search your entire face for an imperfection; maybe a loose eyebrow hair, some smeared makeup, lipstick on your teeth, or even an ugly zit he could make fun of you for later. But there was nothing wrong with you.

He couldn’t find one thing on your entire face he didn’t like.

"I wish I could tell you I’ve had her forever, Charles…"

You looked into his eyes. There was something… not quite right.

It was the way he was looking at you.

He’d never looked at you like that before.

Not with that much adoration; and never, did you ever think, you’d describe Roger’s tone as "dripping with affection”. At least, not when he spoke of you.

“It’s been about five years.” Roger concluded. “Best years of my life."

"And the fact you’re still going strong makes me very happy,” Charles mused, his eyes shining with joy.

"Things’ll get even better. Wait until you’re married and have children!“

That statement had your blood run ice cold, and you could swear Roger’s eye twitched at the word.

Children.

"I remember when my wife told me she was pregnant. It was one of the greatest days in my life, though their actual births and my wedding day are easily the top two."

You opened your mouth, but no words would come out. You cleared your throat and tried again. "Uhm…” Charles turned your way. “We never really um…” you took a deep breath and tried again. “Well, we’ve never really sat down and really… discussed whether or not we even want kids.”

“No um… we just… can’t see ourselves as parents. To a baby. With our face. It just seems so… surreal.”

“Roger,” The blond swallowed, and nodded to Charles in acknowledgement.

“Becoming a father is so rewarding. Wait ‘till you have a baby girl or a little boy, and you hold 'em in your arms for the first time. All that doubt will just wash away. Anna and I were so confident in our parenting skills, we had four more little ones!”

You couldn’t imagine having more than just one child, let alone five, or any of Roger’s, for that matter. The concept was so foreign to you, especially when it’s suggested that the father of these kids is the man who purposely puts the toilet roll on backwards because, and only because, it pisses you off.

Anna called the three of you to the table, cutting the conversation short, though you were relieved to get your mind off how hilariously ridiculous it sounded that you were sort of expected to give birth to Roger Meddows Taylor’s offspring.

He, on the other hand, couldn’t shake the idea. He spent the whole dinner on auto-pilot, trying to imagine how a child could share both his and your features.

He watched you a lot during dessert, trying to decide his favourite part of your face, something that he would be happy for your hypothetical child with him to be graced with.

But much like earlier, he realized he loved your face so much, he couldn’t make an ultimate decision.

Much like you, Roger thought the concept was close to impossible, as well.

He didn’t want to come down with a “Baby Fever”, so he took the next chance he could to talk about something distracting. The subject was averted to music, and Roger’s drumming and things like that.

He was just glad his subconscious wasn’t focused anymore about which room in the condo would hypothetically be the baby’s.

_______________________________

“Thank you for inviting us over, Anna. That was the best casserole I’ve had in my life. Just don’t tell my mother.” Anna laughed at your joke, and teasingly assured you she wouldn’t.

Roger, after helping you put your jacket back on, held the door open for you, and after saying your final good byes to both Anna and Charles, the both of you were left alone in the cool summer night.

Your slow walk down the drive with Roger was very quiet. You two didn’t say anything.

You both took slow, careful steps towards your new home, two pairs of eyes searching the sky for constellations.

Roger’s hands were stuffed into his jean pockets, and you had your arms crossed over your chest.

He expected you to start rambling about how much of a disaster the entire visit was, and how there was certainly not enough casserole for left overs as Anna suspected, but you said nothing.

So he said nothing.

Roger climbed the stairs up to your front door, and unlocked it, wordlessly holding it open for you. You just nodded in thanks, and stepped inside, Roger close behind.

That’s where you both disbanded. You went right upstairs, leaving Roger alone in the dark front corridor. He just sighed, and locked the door as his eyes fixed to the blackness of the room.

He went straight to the kitchen, and opened the refrigerator. There were a few beer bottles in the fridge, and he reached for one, twisting the cap off with his shirt before taking a swig.

He shed his jacket and tossed it on the couch before sitting in the chair on the other side of the living room, and propping his feet up on the ottoman.

Upstairs, he could hear the tub’s faucet running. You were showering.

Taking another sip of his beer, Roger decided to wait until you were out of the shower and in bed before he went upstairs.

"… Rog?“

Roger’s eyes snapped open and he sat up with a start, gaze shooting to the hand on his arm.

Your hand.

Roger exhaled, and rubbed his tired eyes, his brain registering that you’d turned some of the lights on.

"Scared the bloody ‘ell outta me, y/n,” He slurred groggily, rubbing his forehead and combing his hair back with his fingers.

“I’m so sorry! I went to knock on your door and you weren’t in there!"

"I was waitin’ here for you t’ go t’ bed…” he must have fallen asleep, you thought as you rubbed the side of his arm.

“Well I was checking in on you to let you know the bathroom was free if you needed in."

” ’M fine, Love. Thanks, though.“ He removed his feet from the ottoman, and rubbed the back of his neck, a number of empty beer bottles falling from his lap and onto the carpet below.

”… I swear I only 'member grabbin’ one.“

”… You go upstairs, okay? I’ll put you to bed.“ You bent down and started picking up the bottles.

Roger, who was on his feet, and turning the corner, stopped to watch you. He counted every bottle you picked up off the floor.

The higher the number, the guiltier he felt.

By the time you picked up five, Roger was already gone, upstairs and changing into some nighttime clothes.

He blindly chose his clothes, the combination being a pair of checkered pants and a Rolling Stones t-shirt.

He didn’t even bother trying to make an effort to get up and brush his teeth. He just climbed into bed and shut his eyes.

But as promised, you walked into his room, and sat on his bed.

”… Roger, you know I didn’t hear the faucet running.“

That’s how easily convincing you were to him: Seconds later Roger was in the blinding luminescent light of the bathroom, you sitting behind him on the edge of the bathtub as he drunkenly brushed his teeth.

"Spit, rinse, and I’ll meet you in the room.” You rubbed his back gently before leaving him alone in the room.

Roger removed the brush from his mouth, and stared at himself in the mirror, toothpaste froth lining his lips and dripping down his chin in an almost comedic manner.

Roger thought the froth kind of looked like facial hair. He even giggled a little at the idea of him maybe one day having a beard.

But then his smile disappeared, and he wiped his mouth off. Although he remembered only drinking one, he knew why he drank so much more.

Those thoughts about you were returning. The more time he spent with you, the more giddy he’d feel, and the more close he’d want to get.

Roger wondered how he used to be able to teasingly slap your ass and make sexual jokes with you all the time without feeling at the very least flustered with his own actions.

He did it in front of the band all the time when you were around, but it was like he was in high school again.

He always had the urge to kiss you at least once before he died. The constant suppression over the last few years buried that urge six feet under, but it seemed the suppression wasn’t working anymore.

What if, Roger thought, this would be different? He technically had no reason to suppress any feelings he had towards you; well, maybe except for dignity purposes, but that was all.

What if luck and pre-destiny existed, and his chance to be with you just so happened to be now, under these awkward circumstances that would overall result in a blissful future with nothing but happiness…

But why would someone like her want to be with someone like you?

With the depressing thought hanging over him like an obedient rain cloud, he shut the bathroom light off, and moped to his room, where you sat in wait.

You helped Roger climb into bed, and you tucked him in, kissing his forehead like a child.

“If you need me in the night, you know where I am, Blondie.”

Roger nodded, and mumbled his good nights to you before rolling over.

When his bedroom door closed, Roger opened his eyes despite not being able to see anything in the room.

He blinked.

At the beginning of this commitment, pretending to be with you seemed like a piece of cake to him…

… But Roger didn’t know how much longer it would be until his behaviour towards you wasn’t pretend anymore.

_______________________________

A/A/N: Wow, This is a lot longer than I expected it to be, but I’m glad this part is done. I think I may write in Roger’s perspective more in this fic because he’s got lots of shit running through his mind, clearly. What are y’all’s opinions though?

Anywho, enjoy this, I’m gonna go find something to inspire me for the next chapter.

PERMENANT TAGLIST:

@culturefiendtrashqueen

FIC TAG LIST:

@amy-brooklyn99 @scarsout @kimmietea @ohtheseboysilove @demo-wise @suavishowell @bohemianahoy

#Queen #queen x reader #queen fanfiction #roger taylor #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #bohemian rhapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody #freddie mercury #Brian May #John Deacon #Fic #fanfic #fanfiction #series #romance

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purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

1132

survey by chasingghosts

What was the best vacation you've ever been on? Every time we get to take one has been great, but I’d say the best vacations were the ones in Boracay, Sagada, and East Asia. I also feel like I’d have had more of a blast on the latter trip if I had already been into K-drama and K-pop by then, but it was still a fun trip nonetheless.

What would you buy first if you won the lottery? Oh man. I probably would just order sushi first.

Did you grow up in the city, the suburbs or somewhere more rural? I’ve always lived in the suburbs. I was raised in the city very briefly as a baby, but my mom hated Manila and wanted somewhere quieter and closer to her parents.

Describe the bag you use most often. It’s a white shoulder bag that has 47594857945 pockets in it, which is tbh a pet peeve because it’s since become a lot harder to find my shit as soon as I need them; but the bag itself looks nice so it works for me.

What languages did you learn in school? Just Filipino and English. In 1st grade I do remember how our teachers tried to teach us French - our school foundress was from France - but as far as I know the practice didn’t stick and they only tried it out that year.

What has been the happiest time of your life so far? I hear a lot of people my age talk about how 2016 was such a fun time what with all the music and trends that simultaneously came out during that year; I’d have to agree. I’d say 2014–2016 was generally a fun period that just let me be a dumb, carefree teenager who didn’t have to worry too much about the future yet.

What do you usually order when you get Chinese food? My family likes to get fried rice, minced pork with eggplant, pork buns, xiaolongbao, and a side of century eggs. I’m almost sure we get more than one viand, but I also haven’t been to a Chinese restaurant in over a year so I’ve forgotten some of the usuals we get.

Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Who? Yeah, I guess, but that’s exactly it - a celebrity crush - so I’ve never been a creepy stalker or anything like that lmao. My biggest crush rn is on Kim Seonho.

Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? No. When it comes to matters I’m scared or apprehensive about, I feel much better sharing them with at least one person because at least it lessens the weight I have to carry around.

Name one thing you always have in your fridge. I don’t think we’ve ever run out of eggs before.

What website do you spend most of your time on? Google Suite if that counts...

What was the last music you listened to? I belieeeeeeeve I was listening to either SHINee or VIXX before I closed Spotify.

How did you feel when you woke up today? Excited to work and fade the fuck out at the end of the day, because it was Friday.

What would your dream house be like? Brutalist on the outside, minimalist and modern on the inside. Mostly black and white with some earthy tones, lots of cove lights, and big windows.

Do you own any clothes with polka dot patterns? I don’t think so.

Have you ever been orienteering? No. This was offered as a PE in my university but I never took it because it sounded like I had to go outside for it HAHA

What class in high school did you struggle with the most? Chemistry was such a fucking bother. I didn’t need it, never did, and it wasn’t my strength by any means, so I hated the fact that I had to take it. I felt this way about trigonometry and calculus as well, but by then I had senioritis and stopped caring whether I was performing well in the class or not lol.

What did you have for dinner last night? We had my dad’s pad thai *chef’s kiss* which reminds me I’m in the mood for another round of it, so I’ll probs grab a plate after this survey.

Would you change anything about yourself? No.

Do you like musical theatre? No.

What was the last party you went to? The party that Hans’ group of friends threw at BGC to celebrate one year of their small business. I’m so glad we were able to squeeze that in before the whole world went into lockdown. I haven’t been anywhere that has been that crowded ever since.

Do you like to make lists? Of just about anything, yes.

What could you talk about for hours? My dogs, my favorite TV shows, and some parts of history I’m particularly interested in.

Are there any slang words/sayings that you just hate? It’s a local one, but “sana all” got annoying a long time ago lol. It literally means “I wish all” and it’s something you say if you want what someone has. So like if I see a couple holding hands, sana all would be an appropriate response. The thing is it’s overused as fuck, so I never picked it up as a habit.

Do you have a lamp beside your bed? Yes.

If you were in a band, what kind of music would you play? Idk I’m not musically inclined at all, but it’d be nice to play music that’s inspired by both jazz and lo-fi, my two favorite genres for when I want to chill and unwind.

What was the first cell phone you owned? That One Famous Nokia model haha. I’m too lazy to look it up and check what model it is.

What's your favourite ice cream topping? I don’t like toppings on my ice cream as much as possible, but if I had to go with one it would be hot fudge.

Is there something big you're currently saving for? I want to get braces again, which are pretty costly, yeah.

Who can you be your true self around? Angela.

#survey #surveys

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shoujoaccent · 5 years

Note

can you share your thoughts on kuro and iwanaga pls 🥺

ok first, i love them, so jot that down lmao i’m just going to be rambling w/ the information i have today!! which is ep7 of the anime & vol.10 of the manga!!

the first thing i want to touch on is this recent idea that kuro is with iwanaga by force, or her persistence, or not having romantic feelings for her... and even though i can see why people have that conclusion, i feel like a big factor to that ideal has been from 1) their romance has been subtext because of the genre and the fact that their relationship is established, and 2) the fact that kuro’s character, especially in the anime, is flat and often misconstrued... when he both has valid reasons for his characterization and has proven that he genuinely cares for her, her well-being, and their relationship.

again!! i must repeat!! they are together in an established romantic relationship. this is not a budding romance, so we’re not going to get a lot of moments of them realizing their feelings/etc. he may have moments where he’s not prioritizing her, but he always makes up for it, and shows that he goes out of his way to make her happy. yes, he teases her relentlessly, and yes, he says he’s going to break up with her..... but literally all of his actions indicates his care.

also, the second thing i want to touch upon is that kuro and kotoko’s relationship is complicated because individually, they are complicated themselves. kuro’s lack of attachment can be explained away with the abuse of his grandmother, his strange relationship with rikka, and the fact that he’s immortal (like, why is he going to get legally married when he’ll never have a death certificate?). kotoko flirts, sure, but she’s distant herself. she’s shown that she has no hesitation of bending ethics to uphold the natural order, and that her job will always become before everything, even her health. before kuro, she’s described to being to herself and rare to any emotional outburst. nonetheless, she’s still a rich, protected daughter that was found dismembered... like she has her own rich backstory that doesn’t go away just bc she talks about being horny 24/7 lol

ok more things under the cut bc of spoilers and i cant be vague anymore:

THIRD THING!! another thing that gets brought about kuro’s feelings and it’s the fact that he has feelings for his cousin and saki still. therefore, his relationship with kotoko is strictly platonic... but that’s... that’s just not the case. i need to break this down into parts bc WHEW I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS

FIRST, if kuro has feelings for rikka, then there should have been no problem for them to be together. in the recent volume (10), she literally states that he was supposed to be hers... but what eventually ended up happening is the fact that kuro did get closer with kotoko.

and see, the thing with that is..... if kuro has had nothing but feelings for rikka, then his relationship with saki wouldn’t have happened in the first place either. not to sound pro-inc*st, but they are immortal beings and the last of their family line. there’s literally nothing stopping them besides kuro not wanting to pursue a romantic relationship with rikka... and he didn’t. he got engaged to saki instead.

kuro has also stated that rikka was only in the hospital because she wanted to be mortal again, aka she wanted to die... but why? there’s events that we’re missing and won’t get to see into later down the line. regardless, it’s safe to say that kuro loves rikka to his full capacity as family and as someone who shared his same horrid past, but he doesn’t love her more than that. (he also said she was a monster beforehand anyway so.... idk, maybe that has something to do with that LOL.)

but that also brings us to the next thing: why saki?

it’s been clear that he dates saki because she looked like rikka. they were together to the point of engagement and talks of marriage, but nothing came into fruition bc he’s an immortal that scares off spectres.

but thats the thing too, their relationship would’ve never worked bc 1) he was always hiding the fact on who he was, and 2) again, he is immortal. maybe she was his attempt to be normal, but kuro’s very aware of his situation at all times. i don’t doubt he loved saki, but a lot of his residual feelings from the lady steel arc indicate guilt rather than lingering feelings.

and of course, he feels freaking guilty!!! he lied to her about his condition, and then scared her to the point where she couldn’t even eat certain meats. that’s a heavy burden to be at fault for. (luckily, they do resolve this and apologize to each other!! but that’s the thing too: be the end of lady steel, they aren’t letting go of their feelings. they’ve been aware that their relationship was over for a long time and that they both moved on. there were just some leftover wounds.)

AND AHHH!!!! i think its also to point out the fact that rikka approved saki (aka her clone), but she never approved kotoko. rikka said that she thought she could wait for kuro to get tired of kotoko, but he never did. that’s why kotoko became a bigger threat than she already was. not only was she an indicator that kuro wasn’t looking for rikka in people, but because his feelings for kotoko are genuine. it drives rikka to the point of insanity bc she literally is trying to create something to kill a god.

so to summarize: kuro loves rikka, but only as family. kuro dates saki bc she reminded him of rikka (aka probably the only he did know in his fucked up childhood), but it doesn’t work out bc he’s immortal anyway. kuro dates and ends up having actual feelings for kotoko, which brings us to the present and why rikka feels threatened to the point of violence.

GOT IT!!!

also, since we’re nearing the end, there’s something also interesting about kuro and kotoko’s relationship that i’ve thought about since their christmas chapter. kuro is a broke college student. kotoko is an heiress. they’re constantly going on trips and dates, but for the most part, kuro is going out of his way to treat kotoko. he’s thankful for her parents for taking in rikka, but there’s not a plot about him being indebted to her/etc... and i’ve been thinking about this since the christmas chapter bc he chose to work at his part-time job than spend it with her. at first, it’s easy to be upset about it...... but again, kuro’s a broke college student. of course, he needs to work a lot. he not only has school, bills, and groceries, but he’s trying to accommodate kotoko to a lifestyle where she’s happiest in (like a goOD BOYFRIEND) and it makes me wanna cry ok

in conclusion, i just think it’s dumb to act like these two aren’t together or that they don’t have feelings for each other. it’s there. in fact, it’s probably the only constant/consistent thing in a story with a lot of moving parts. they both lead incredibly complicated lives, but they’re there for each other.

i won’t lie, kuro talks a lot of shit lmao, but i don’t get how that’s different from kotoko being overly sexual/vulgar when she doesn’t mean it either. kuro literally told her that he needs her and her response was telling him to not think he’s hot shit lololol. i get also bc kotoko’s overtly sexual (and lbr, attracts a lot of lolicons), so if she’s not being praised/not being treated like a princess by kuro, then that makes him a worse boyfriend... but he doesn’t treat her poorly. hell, that pinocchio proved that she really takes for granted that he dies a lot of her sometimes to the point with other spectres (aka the things that want to see kuro die LOL) think she (aka their god that they praise 24/7) is harsh.

but that’s what being in a relationship too is. you’re not going to appreciate someone at all hours of the day, but the point is, you have to be constantly taking care of each other, even when you don’t want to. kuro and kotoko are constantly taking care of each other, and thinking of each other’s well-being first and foremost. they might bicker, but that’s a fact that’s always acknowledged by everyone around them, despite initial opinions.

and tbh, i feel like kuro also feels a lot of guilt for rikka. maybe not for returning her feelings, but because his happiness with another person (kotoko) was the catalyst of her running away and causing havoc. i think that adds another layer to his distance with kotoko, but it doesn’t mean he has feelings for her romantically. what i really appreciate about the story is the fact that as simple as things are presented, there’s always a complex reason/backstory for it. there’s never a single moving part for anything. there’s plenty of motives and reasons.

#SUPER LONG ok u been warned #in/spectre #kyokou suiri #talk to me!#kyosuiri posts

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