#this is very important to me. we talk extensively about ass-out pete but NEVER ABOUT PHA KHAO MA PETE

[lu-sn]

i am here today to talk about HORRIBLE OVERSIGHT in the pete fandom we NEED to correct our ways and see the light

but it is ok i will Explain

ok do u see this

this is a pha khao ma (spelling up for debate). it's a waistcloth commonly worn in south and southeast asia — you may have heard of it as a lungi / longyi. it's a rectangular, light, soft piece of cloth that (mostly) men tie around their (mostly) waists to wear in hot humid climates because it's very comfy and breezy and dries fast.

some fun facts:

it's very common to wear right out of the bath / shower because the dampness stays on your skin for a while after so this helps air it out

underwear is ✨ optional ✨ (although really mostly only at home. the fear of being pantsed in public is universal, after all)

it's often worn at home, but people wear it out as well and it is especially common in rural communities. if you've got a bunch of old uncles sitting outside on a veranda in a small town, they're all maybe sitting around in pha khao mas

(let me follow this up with: while it is common in rural regions, people in rural areas all over thailand do also just wear shirts and shorts and pants 😂 it is merely an option, not a rule)

what you see is the casual version. there are much more formal versions, and fashionable versions, and they are apparently having a resurgence with the thailand youth rn

the plaid-like patterning is a specific design that has centuries of history in thailand! different regions produce styles of designs with vibrantly different colors and dyes, and they're very proud of it

there's many ways to tie it: in these pictures, pete has it tied so that it hangs down well past his knees, but you can hoist them up to mostly be around your upper legs (leaving the knees showing). this gives you a TON more mobility to, say, run around or climb trees or beat up people

here is a reference of real people wearing pha khao mas. as you can see they are chilling

and the most important fun fact of all:

post-canon pete wears it ALL. THE. TIME.

we know pete wears these in the privacy of his home! they're his comfy post-shower post-workout jammies! every time we see him with one he has a different one! HE HAS LIKE SIX MORE OF THESE TUCKED AWAY.

he probably wore them a lot around his yaai. and now, at home, vegas sees him in them CONSTANTLY.

you may be looking at me, and then looking at these photos, and then looking again at me, and going, lu, noooooooo, this ruins the post-canon pete being unbearably cute and stylish and hot agenda!!! to which i say

no

it ENHANCES IT. it's about the DICHOTOMY

vegas watches as pete walks out of the bathroom wearing one of these and nothing else, and they're riding real low on his hips, and vegas chokes out a "what the hell are you wearing" and pete leans against the doorframe and wiggles his eyebrows and puts on his thickest northern accent and says "you wanna fuck me so bad city boy" and he's RIGHT OKAY VEGAS HATES THEM AND VEGAS DOES WANT TO FUCK HIM SO BAD ANYWAYS

macau gives pete sooo much shit for it but then he watches pete kick ass in one during training one day and pete looks like some rural film movie star in his tank top and pha khao ma and his fists of fury and macau goes, huh, actually, phi looks fucking cool, can i have one

when they visit yaai pete basically forgoes pants and just wears these all the time and blends in with all the old grandpas who pat pete on the back and ask him for his opinions on politics and vegas is so fucking confused and totally in love do you UNDERSTAND

anyway. all of this to say, if you were to write fics where pete wears a pha khao ma and/or draw him in one it would be HIGHLY CANONICALLY ACCURATE. and i would love you. thank u for coming to my ted talk.

(and thanks to @minorfamilysupremacy for being the first victim of said ted talk)

[mwolf0epsilon]

Why not kill two birds with one stone?

---

The way they'd established supply runs was an intricate ordeal. It was an effort split between a group and a solo act of sorts, with the group scavenging for anything useful (like food , tools, or any bits and bobs that might come in handy later) while one lone soul would run around leading the Ink Demon in circles to keep it well away from the supply run's path. That "morning", after the usual breakfast of bacon soup, stale coffee and ink brew, Henry had assigned the roles through the drawing of straws (actually just pieces of paper he'd tried to cut as evenly as possible) among the few toons that did not have a particular task to complete for the day. Norman, Buddy, Shawn and Grant had thusly ended up together as a group, while Sammy was the unfortunate bait of the day. Not that he had any trouble getting around mind you... He could run faster now that he had a stable body, and he knew the layout of the top floors pretty well now that some of his memories as the Prophet ressurfaced. He could also sense the demon's presence more acutely so he could run circles around the damn thing without it realizing it was being duped.

Overall it was a solid team. Too solid even.

Which of course called for some action on 'Wally's part.

'Wally' had it all figured out or at least that's what he liked to think. He was, for a matter of lack of words, a wolf in sheep's clothing... Or... a sheep in wolf's clothing? Or was it an idea in sheepish wolf's clothing?

Ok maybe he didn't have it all figured out, but who cared? He didn't have to do the big thinking anyway because there were two people doing that for him anyways. All he really needed to do was play is part as the clumsy but charming guy that got everyone else to laugh. Get all cozy and cute with these people and get the plot running real smooth without them realizing it.

Simple in theory but very difficult in practice for, you see, 'Wally' was the idea of Wally Franks constructed in the image of an off-model Boris with a goofy grin, a Brooklyn accent, and a love for pranks and foods he'd never tasted before. Every single tape the Ink could find it used to create him. Including one very specific trait: Wally Franks was a bit of a dick sometimes, but he was genuinely nice to those he care for. And it just so happened he cared for all these other dicks who were currently living cartoon characters. Yes even Sammy Stick-Up-The-Ass Lawrence... What a dang predicament...

Sabotaging them on Joey's and the Ink's command was getting harder and harder each time, and both his creators were not happy with this.

He either did as he was told, or he'd be in a world of trouble. He needed to do something big, and fast!

Thus came the idea to sabotage the supply run. A plan that quickly went off the rails big time because he'd turned off his brain for just a second...

Sneaking off was really easy. Tom had told him to fasten some of the bolts on the less stable pipes upstairs and, after some very convincing grumbling under his breath, he'd gone up to do just that. Except he kept on walking right past where his stop was at. He had eyes on a much bigger task than fiddling with some faulty pipework that was gonna burst later anyways.

Sammy was awfully suspicious of him, so 'Wally' made sure to wait around to check where he was headed before searching the upper floors for Norman's crew. The Ink had whispered to him, told him that if he took Polk's reels he'd be able to cut the run short and force them to go back. Then the Ink would simply scare off Sammy by leading the demon straight to him when he least expected it.

He'd stupidly not questioned why taking the reels would force the group back. He'd been too curious to see what was on them anyways to consider they might be important to Norman in a physical sense.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"Anyone else feeling a bit watched?" Grant whispered as 'Wally' crept around from within the walls, keeping his eye on the prize. Polk had fastened the reels into place before leaving, so snatching them off without being noticed wasn't going to be easy. He wasn't a dull joe, however, so he got around that issue with quite the clever grift.

Some of the walls were rotten from being soaked with ink for so long, so one careful tug was all he needed to make a part of the wall and ceiling collapse.

"Watch out!" The object-head toon turned around to shield his partners, blocking their view and being unable to see as 'Wally' quickly descended upon him and took both items in one swift motion. Using the dust clouds and sound of crunching wood as cover to flee from the scene.

As easy and sweet as pie! He could already hear his creators praising him for the good job. Now to figure out what was so damn important about these dang films that Polk obcessed over them so much...

As soon as he'd found a projector he popped them in and eagerly awaited a show. The first few minutes of footage confused him, as he wasn't seeing cartoons but real human people. Then a few more minutes of this strange "real people film" made him realize it wasn't some fictional bad soap opera that the projectionist had somehow saved.

These were moments in Norman's life. Norman's memories. They were a part of him.

Which is when 'Wally' realized he fucked up. Wait no, that wasn't true. He realized this when a terrifying roar and three terrified screams shook the halls...

---

Sammy's wool stood on end as soon as he heard the roar just one floor below him. The bellowing of the Projectionist when he was still a feral ink abomination. A screech that had followed him and Jack as they ran like their butts were on fire towards the base where a temporary cage awaited the monster Norman Polk had become.

That screech that was somehow ringing downstairs, diverting the demon's attention from the sheep toon. Something terrible had happened and the others were likely in a world of trouble. He had to move.

Rushing down the stairs Sammy listened to the horrific roars and the screams of his coworkers. He then followed the mess left behind. Splintered doors, broken furniture and a trail of ink. Someone's ink.

Someone was injured while the demon was on the prowl.

He turned a corner and stumbled as he walked into 'Wally'. He was surprised at first, unsure why the cartoon wolf would be all the way upstairs, before his eyes landed on two very familiar blank looking reels. It clicked in his mind that the roars and 'Wally' holding these two items Norman had been protective of were connected somehow.

"You..." He snarled, actually snarled, wool turning to bristled fur on the back of his neck and tip of his tail as anger replaced apprehension.

"I... I can explain!"

"What did you do?!"

"I was... I was fixin' the pipes and a wall collapsed! I swear! I found these and... I think they were Norman's? I figured I might need to give 'em back an--"

"Cut the €π@¶, you're a $#!¥ liar mutt..." Sammy hissed furiously as he grabbed 'Wally' by the ears. "I told Henry you were bad news, but did he listen? No!"

"O-ow Sammy that smarts!"

"Trust me once I tell the others, me pulling on your ears will feel like a light spanking..." The sheep toon began to drag the wolf along, continuing his search for his missing teammates.

His anger dissipating as the trail of ink (blood) continued on. And then it stopped. Right in front a little miracle station situated in a trashed room.

Sammy stared at it for a little while before pressing his head to it. He could hear muffled familiar crying.

"Grant, you in there...?" He called, hoping for anything. A meek yes, a sob, anything...

He didn't expect the station to open up and have two child-sized toons tackle him in desperation.

Shawn and Grant were terrified. Worse yet... Buddy was with them and he did not look well.

'Wally' stared at the heavily wounded toon dog, barely able to look at the extensive damage. The kid was missing chunks for Pete's sake!

"What happened?" Sammy tried to get the others to talk.

"A wall collapsed, and... £¢€&... Oh my god..." Grant was hysterical and Shawn wasn't any better.

"It was mad, madness! I can't... And Norman..."

"Words, use your words, come on! What happened? Where's Norman?!" Sammy insisted, shaking the two smaller toons for good measure. They hiccuped and sobbed, and Grant could barely hold up one of his hands to point to a corner, where a lone projector lay discarded. 'Wally's stomach plummeted at the sight, and Sammy's grip slackened as he realized the implications.

"He went n-nuts... He attacked us! Buddy t-tried to stop him... W-we could barely escape into the station and then... Oh god Sammy, the Demon killed Norman! It just..."

"Head straight off, like he was nothin'!"

The reels clattered to the floor, rolling a few feet to meet with the projector that was spurting ink like a macabre fountain piece. 'Wally' had messed up big time.

[rebrobindoesmath]

JMM is just over a week away! Here’s a guide to Denver from a Denver mathematician.

I wish I would’ve had something like this when I went to the Joint Meetings in Atlanta and San Diego. Knowing the best spots to go for happy hour, for coffee, to hang out, etc. can make a trip less stressful. So here’s my attempt at listing some of my favorite places in Denver (all within walking distance of the convention center or a short Uber ride!)

FIRST: If you are arriving by plane, I’d recommend you take the train to the city and not call a Uber/Lyft. The airport is really far away from the city and a Uber/Lyft can cost upwards of $30 one way. A train ticket is $11 and also functions as a public transportation day pass.

Note: The public transportation in Denver can get you around the city -- but be prepared to wait for a bus/train due to operator shortages. Personally, I’d recommend you take an Uber if you’re planning on going somewhere too far to walk. Denver does have a free shuttle that runs up and down 16th Street Mall. This is a great way to get around downtown.

See below the cut for my list! This ended up being pretty lengthy, so I didn’t want to take up too much room on anyone’s dash!

FOOD

Ahhhh, food. One of the most important things (perhaps second only to coffee) for a mathematician to have enough energy to sit through so many talks! Here are some of my favorite places:

Illegal Pete’s 

Very much like Chipotle. Only much better. Relatively inexpensive, and it’s a quick hop on the free Mallride Shuttle from near the convention center. Happy hour is also really good: free chips and salsa when you order a drink at the bar, $5 margaritas that’ll kick you in the ass, and long happy hour hours (3-8).

Komotodo

Sushi burritos. Need I say more?

Denver Milk Market

Contrary to the name, milk is not sold here. It’s a conglomeration of a bunch of different food stalls -- there’s even a wine bar, beer bar, and liquor bar too. This is my favorite place to go when we can’t all agree on one place. Honestly, it’s just really cool inside too.

Steuben’s

This might be more of an Uber trip but it’s totally worth it for their late night special: $7 Cheeseburger & Fries and a Montucky Cold Snack. Yum.

Sassafras

Okay, so this one is just breakfast. Everyone raves about a restaurant called Snooze...NO. GO HERE. If you like Southern style cooking, you will love this place. It’s so good.

Fat Sully’s/Atomic Cowboy/Denver Biscuit Co.

A restaurant of many names... This is my favorite pizza place in Denver. Gigantic, thin crust, NY style pizza. So. Good. Also in the morning they have amazing biscuit sandwiches. Late night special is also good: $5 for slice and a beer.

COFFEE

Aside from food, you gotta have coffee. After all, “a mathematician is a machine that turns coffee into theorems”!

The Market

It’s your favorite hometown coffee shop. Reasonably priced good coffee. They also have plenty of seating, so you’d never have to worry about finding a table to work on. They also have good food as well. (Make sure to check around back for the free baked good sample basket!)

Little Owl

Great, great coffee. Con is that there is little seating inside, so this is a good place to grab and go.

There’s Also A Starbucks on Every Corner

THINGS TO DO

Not every hour is spent in a math talk, so here are things to do when you’re not at a talk!

1-Up

It’s a barcade. Really fun place. You have to be at least 21 to enter! There’s no food, but the beer is reasonably priced.

Ace Eat Serve

It’s a ping pong and ramen bar. It’s so fun! I’ve never had the food but I’ve spent quite some time playing ping pong in the back. I have reserved tables day of, but they don’t really like that, so call at least 24 hours in advance to reserve a table. I believe it’s around $15/hour. They do have some walk-in tables, but be prepared to wait a while for those.

Hang out in Union Station

Honestly, I love Union Station. I love being surrounded by hustle & bustle and it’s definitely there in Union Station. The outside of the building is cool to look at too. This is also the main transit hub of Denver, so it’s a good place to catch a train or bus.

Museum of Nature & Science

They have an exhibit on the Science of Pixar right now. Too cool.

Walk up and down 16th Street

There’s tons of shops and restaurants lining 16th street.

Denver Art Museum

Honestly you have to at least just walk by it because it’s one of the coolest looking buildings ever.

NIGHTLIFE

Alright all you 21+-ers. Here are my favorite bars and breweries.

Euclid’s

If not just for the name, this is one of the favorites places of the grad students in my department. With a beer list sorted by levels of mathematical concepts, it’s definitely a place for math people.

Pourhouse

You like cheap beer? Here you go. Happy hour M-F open to 8pm with BOGO domestic drafts. Makes it like $2 a beer... Plus: shuffleboard table.

Freshcraft

You like craft beer? Here you go. Beer is a little on the pricier side, but they usually have a really good tap list. Also: really good food.

Falling Rock

Another craft beer bar with an extensive and varied tap list.

You want some breweries?

Here’s what you do. Take an Uber/Lyft to Our Mutual Friend Brewing. Have a beer. Pick any of them -- they’re all good. Then you can walk just a couple blocks to any of the following: Stem Ciders, Ratio Beerworks, Epic Brewing (attempt The Gauntlet -- a flight comprised of a 4oz sample of EVERY ONE OF THEIR BEERS), or C Squared Ciders.

Okay, but what about downtown breweries???

Okay, fair. There’s Wynkoop Brewing Company, opened by former governor and former presidential candidate John Hickenlooper. I’ve never been though so don’t take my word on it.

There’s also Tivoli Brewing, located on my school’s campus.

You also have Jagged Mountain and Rock Bottom.

On the other side of the river, there’s Denver Beer Co. and Prost Brewing. Both are great! Go to Prost if you like German-style beer though!

Blush & Blu

An LGBT-friendly bar. I had a great experience there. Everyone (staff and guests alike) is very friendly and welcoming.

I hope this list serves helpful to anyone who would like it! If you have any questions about the city, feel free to send me a message! I hope everyone has a fun and safe JMM trip! If you see me around, please say hi!

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 30: AMJ #4.2

Previous Part

Next Part

Master Post

This post is something of an exception in my coverage of AMJ. Originally I hoped to dedicate just one post per issue but changed that to two due to the length. The pages I’ll be covering here though are exceptional.

Not just because I had so much to say about them, but because they cut to the heart of the story. These pages present Williams’ attempt to finally justify  MJ’s actions throughout the story. As such I’ve opted to single these pages out in this instalment and continue covering the rest of the story next time.

If you want the context for the preceding pages check out the previous post.

The pages revolve around MJ chatting with Master Matrix. It turns out he knows ‘McKnight’ is really Quentin Beck. She thanks him for keeping their secret. Master Matrix asks MJ how Spider-Man feels about her working with Mysterio; I guess he knows about her connection to Peter too.

MJ gets a little flustered by this question. MM continues that he’s questioned how to raise this subject with Spidey himself. MJ relates to this and explains that Peter knows she’s working on a Mysterio movie, just not with the man himself. MM asks why she’s deceiving Peter. MJ explains she isn’t being deceitful on purpose (um…yeah she is) but is just protecting Beck because she believes in what he is doing.

MM makes the (incredibly obvious) point that Mysterio is a villain and Spidey is good. He elaborates that they are both hiding the truth from a good person to collaborate with a villain. MJ responds by asking if MM understands the concept of redemption. He says he does.

Lord have mercy, this page is awful.

Now I should be upfront. I didn’t read Spider-Man/Deadpool so maybe I need to be set straight about certain important details from that title. I don’t know how or why Master Matrix knows who Spider-Man is for example. My brief research tells me he was rescued by Peter’s parents or something. I don’t recall seeing anything about Mysterio when I read up on him, so I don’t know how or why he’d know ‘McKnight’ is really Beck. Maybe his abilities allow for him to deduce that fact? If not, then that’s yet another hole in the story.

Anyway, the point is he knows Peter is Spider-Man, keeps in contact with him and by extension knows about (or has deduced) MJ’s connection to Peter. What’s less clear is how Mary Jane  knows about MM’s connection to Peter. We’ve never seen them talk about him or any of Peter’s adventures with Deadpool for that matter.

I’m willing to accept that personally I guess. As I went over in parts 3-5, Peter does clue MJ into major events in his Spidey career. I suppose befriending a living Weapon of Mass Destruction would count as something your partner ought to know about. This ultimately hurts Williams’ own narrative though. It demonstrates that Peter has been very honest and open with MJ whilst she hasn’t. It also further proves that Peter would inform MJ of his hero career, which would include Beck and his past crimes. Therefore MJ would very likely know about all the stuff Beck did in ‘Guardian Devil’ and just about everything else we discussed in parts 3-5. And yet, she’s still getting chummy with a murderous, sexually violating monster.

We then come to the lame-ass attempt by Williams to address MJ’s motivations for this arc. First of all, Williams thinks now  this is the best time to address that elephant in the room? It’s the penultimate issue of the arc (originally the entire series)! This shouldn’t been pinned down by issue #1 or #2 at the absolute latest.

Lateness aside, Williams’ attempt (unsurprisingly) utterly fails. MJ comes off almost childish when she says she isn’t ‘being deceitful on purpose’. A quick look at the definition of deceit proves that to be bullshit.

It’s the equivalent of saying “I’m not lying. I just happen to be withholding certain truths.”

Yeah that’s lying by omission, which is a form of deceit!

As for her justification for deceiving Peter, I’ve gone over that more than enough. MJ wouldn’t believe in what Beck is doing. Or at least she never would to the point where she’d lie to Peter the way she is or protect a terrible person like Beck.

The audacity of Williams to bring up how MJ is protecting a villain and deceiving a hero is unbelievable. It’s honestly left me flabbergasted. So, Williams KNOWS  that’s what she’s written MJ as doing? She KNOWS  that but she’s still having MJ do it? Or is she really just incredibly unaware and paying lip-service?

Maybe the next page will enlighten us.

So MJ just asked if MM understands redemption, which he does intimately. She follows up by saying he’d understand then that it’s not a simple switch from bad to good. Rather, it’s a journey that takes a lot of work; work Beck is putting in right now. MJ feels she is protecting Beck’s ‘journey’. It isn’t that she thinks Peter incapable of understanding this (quite the contrary), she just hasn’t figured out how  to tell him. She doesn’t want him to worry about her and feels he is already got enough on his mind.

MM then asks what if MJ has misjudged Beck? To this she concedes she will have deceived Pete, which makes her feel sick.

MM then reveals he was created as a WMD and that he is sure Beck knows tha. He elaborates that when Beck approached him, he presumed it was for the sake of efficiency. However, now he realises it’s because Beck wanted to give him the chance to make something meaningful. In this sense Beck has used his own journey of redemption to protect MM’s own. MM feels utterly indebted to Beck for this.

MJ responds that all MM can do is earn that debt in reverse.

Meanwhile, Diperna has arrived. Screwball has been harassing the journalist with her drones this entire time and continues to do so out of pure fun.

Jesus Christ where to start with this.

MJ is correct that a journey of redemption is more than just a switch from bad to good. It is indeed a long hard journey.

But as I’ve illustrated in parts 9-11, MJ wouldn’t extend the possibility of redemption to Beck given what she knows about him. His actions in this story so far do not reflect someone who’s ‘putting the work in’ at all. He’s evaded the law, broken (and is still breaking) numerous laws to get to this point and shows no signs that he’s going to face the music for his crimes. He’s not even attempted to make amends to the people he’s wronged beyond his old flame Betsy. His attempt with her has been mutated due to MJ to the point where it’s hardly what Beck intended in the first place. Even if it was his ‘apology’ to Betsy would’ve amounted to making her look cool and sexy which by extension glorified himself. Every one of his attempts to help people like Master Matrix have ultimately benefitted himself.

The closest he’s come to honest self-sacrifice, of doing something good purely for the sake of others, was fighting the Savage Six last issue. But even that was selfish to a point. He had personal beef with the Vulture. They were trashing his  movie. In defeating them and protecting his staff he was in turn aiding the protection of his life’s work. In contrast, I detailed several instances in part 10 where criminals put themselves on the line to help people selflessly. Boomerang, Black Cat, Sandman, Venom. All of those people risked their freedom and/or their health for Spidey, for innocents or for the grater good.

Beck hasn’t done that yet. Everything he’s done, even if it has protected innocent people, has simultaneously served his own materialistic or egotistical goals. Hell, given the ease with which he dealt with the Six, it barely qualifies as putting himself at risk.

Extending a helping hand to people like himself is not grounds for putting the work in. He’s helping other criminal/dangerous people make something meaningful. So what? Will he be donating the money to the loved ones of the people he’s hurt? Or to the people thsmselves? Is he going to create a trust fund for Gwyneth’s baby? We know he isn’t going to apologise for his evil actions though the film because MJ said so back in issue #1.

MJ is protecting a murderer, a mental abuser, a sexual abuser and a generally horrible person. Someone who wants  forgiveness but has not actually demonstrated anything in the way of repentance for his actions. As AMJ laid out, he wants to be forgiven by making everyone understand  who he is and why he did what he did.

He (and seemingly MJ and Williams) is confusing understanding  with justifying. We can understand  how and why people did something bad. That’s very different to justifying it and thereby forgiving them.

Even in the over simplistic good/evil world of super hero comic books this is simply not how redemption works. In addition to the examples I listed in part 10 let’s consider an example from a comic book movie. 

Maybe you’ve heard of it, it’s called ‘Spider-Man’ from 2002. 

In the film a guy named Peter Parker confronts the man he believes murdered his uncle, the man who raised him. The criminal is scared but not apologetic for what he’s done, and he asks to be given a chance. Peter’s response is.

What about my uncle? Did you give him a chance?

We can very much apply this to AMJ. Beck wants a chance, MJ is giving him that chance. So I ask:

What about Gwyneth?

What about her parents?

What about her baby?

What about the families of the seniors Beck swindled?

What about the real Cage McKnight’s reputation?

What about all the people terrified by Beck’s tantrum in AMJ #2?

What about all the people Screwball or Kangaroo have hurt?

What about Dr. Winhorst?

What about all the people and all the animals harmed or killed when Doc Ock heated up half the globe?

What about all the people scared or hurt when he faked an alien invasion in ASM v5 #1?

Did Beck ever even hint he gave any of them the slightest chance?

No. He didn’t.

For God’s sake, a terrible story like ‘Venom: Lethal Protector’ wasn’t as naïve or childish as this story. Venom is called out for murdering a man’s son. He acknowledges this but tries to argue he didn’t mean  to kill him. The story though doesn’t let him off the hook for it.

If a 1990s Venom mini-series  can acknowledge a homicidal maniac shouldn’t be given a chance just because he’s sorry, then why the Hell can’t this story?

There is another great non-comic book example that illustrates this point. It comes from the Doctor Who episode ‘Boom Town’. Whilst not a comic book or superhero story, Doctor Who is often regarded as a cousin of sorts to the former. Marvel even made Doctor Who comics for a long time. 

In the episode in question, the Doctor shares a ‘last meal’ with an alien criminal whom he intends to hand over to the authorities.

She is guilty of murder, attempted genocide and fraud and identity theft in the vein of Beck; although she is literally wearing the skin of the person she’s impersonating. To gain the Doctor’s mercy she tries to prove she’s changed, specifically by explaining a time she spared a life. Earlier that day she readied herself to kill a young journalist sniffing around her plans, but refrained upon learning she was pregnant.

The Doctor believes the story but is totally unconvinced. He explains it doesn’t mean anything. Every now and then terrible people on a whim happen  to be kind and spare their would-be victims. It’s how they live with themselves.

Whilst Mysterio is probably nowhere near as bad as the alien criminal, his case for forgiveness is arguably worse.

He’s continuing to steal the real Cage McKnight’s identity, he has never indicated he’s going to continue to help people after the film is completed. He caused panic and would’ve caused harm had a third party (MJ) not intervened to keep him under control. And his equivalent of sparing a life amounts to giving other criminals the chance to help realize his personal vanity project.

Not to mention, MJ and Beck continuously insist upon the movie being something meaningful but how could they possibly know that. A movie isn’t meaningful just because it means something to the film makers. The audience decides if it’s meaningful or not. Frankly Beck’s insistence he’s giving his staff the chance to make something good and meaningful is egotistical. As though the mere act of film making or his own life story is inherently something with artistic merit or something meaningful in the universe.

Yes, some films are. But even then their ability to do something helpful and positive is relatively limited. A piece of media’s practical abilities to positively contribute to the universe is limited compared to say, donating time or money to the needy. At least there you would’ve done something with a definitive impact even if it was a small one. A movie like this might illicit emotions and make some people feel happy, might inspire them to do good, might make them understand themselves or another better. But the key words there are ‘might’ and ‘maybe’.

When you get right down to it, even the most influential movies don’t positively contribute helping people as much as individuals actually actively doing stuff to help others. I mean are we really  going to say the ‘Black Panther’ film had as much of a positive impact as the Civil Right Movement?

Absolutely not.

Let’s use a fictional example. Would the stage play about the Fantastic Four (as seen in ASM v5 #25) have been as meaningful as the efforts of the actual Fantastic Four in fighting Galactus?

Absolutely not.

I’m not saying films don’t matter or can’t have a meaningful positive impact. I’m just saying if Beck wanted to achieve the latter, there were better options than making a film about himself.

He could’ve donated his ill-gotten gains to needy communities. Or handed over his technology and techniques to the public? Or used his skills to expose white-collar criminals? Or even have started up a company selling his technology and employing criminals semi-legally reducing the need for them to resort to crime.

But he didn’t. He’s fulfilling his own personal dream and making himself centre stage.

As for MJ lying to Peter because she doesn’t want him to worry and has his own problems, see parts 17-18 for why that’s bullshit. And see parts 19-23 for why Peter, and MJ herself, should  be worried about her in this situation. And that was before the Savage Six made them a target, a fact that should have resulted in Peter already being worried.

Hypothetically even if this wasn’t something to worry about, MJ could be open about it with Peter and convince him to relax. He begrudgingly accepted her staying with him during Marvel Knights in spite of the dangers to herself.

She equally made him see sense in ‘Parallel Lives’ after their home had just been attacked.

Whilst this situation is  something to be concerned about, if MJ was in fact in no danger, then she could talk Peter around to trusting her.

I’ll also add she’s had plenty  of time to figure out ‘how to tell him’ the truth. She knows he’s living with Boomerang so right there that’s a potential route to breaking in the conversation. She could bring up Venom, or Sandman or Felicia. There are multiple people they’ve mutually given chances to that could be used as a way to engage with Peter on this topic. By this comic’s own brand of ‘logic’ those are perfectly viable arguments MJ could use.

Don’t get me wrong. Those are false equivalencies. But I’m just saying Williams’ clearly doesn’t think this situation is any different to those ones, therefore there are plenty of grounds for MJ to talk to Peter about this. She even has MJ say ‘of course’ Peter would understand.

It’s almost like Williams knows that this situation cannot actually be justified. Or she’s injecting contrived false drama for the sake of drama with no mind paid to established characterization.

Hence we get trite like MJ saying she ‘will have deceived’ Peter if she’s wrong about Mysterio. First of all, Williams is again acknowledging how asinine her narrative is. She’s acknowledging that MJ is gambling  that her judgement of Beck is on point. Her judgement of a guy who’s power set revolves around misdirection. Second of all, MJ wouldn’t have deceived Peter if  she’s wrong. She’s already  deceived him and is continuing to do so. Thirdly why exactly does Mary Jane get to be the singular person deciding if it is okay to gamble on Beck’s redemption? Who is she exactly to decide if this murderer and abuser is worth keeping out of jail?

In the real world if such a risk is taken it doesn’t ride upon one person’s  decision; at least not in theory.

Let’s move onto Master Matrix. Again, I don’t know enough about him to discuss Beck’s knowledge of him. Maybe it makes sense, or maybe it’s a big question that’s being left unanswered. Regardless, I detest framing Beck as this selfless redeemer through Master Matrix’s subplot. I hate it almost as much as I hate the nonsensical dialogue that follows it.

What the fuck does ‘earning it in reverse’ even mean? I guess it means living up to Beck’s trust? But then why not phrase it that way? Even if that was the intent, see above for why giving MM a chance doesn’t really mean anything. Not to mention, both MM and MJ are just kind of presuming that Beck was in fact being altruistic.

That’s all for now. We’ll resume coverage of the rest of the issue next time.

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Master Post

[lindyhunt]

The Essential Engagement Quiz: How to Make Sure You’re Ready for Marriage

Premature proposals have become somewhat of a trend as of late. First, we had Pete Davidson popping the question to Ariana Grande after just a few weeks of dating. Then, Justin Bieber pulled the same move, putting a great big diamond ring on Hailey Baldwin’s finger. Sure, these two have history, but the “Sorry” singer and former FASHION cover star rekindled their romance only weeks before taking this huge step in their relationship. Everything is happening very fast.

If these early early engagements end with Baldwin and Grande walking down the aisle, what will the marriages look like? Greg Behrendt (author of the romcom classic He’s Just Not That Into You) and his wife, Amiira Ruotola, just dropped a new relationship book that might have the answer. Inside the pages of How to Keep Your Marriage from Sucking, the New York Times best-selling authors share a 24-question engagement quiz that every couple should before making this major commitment towards marriage. Or, you know, before spending a fortune on a sparkly ring. Here’s an excerpt from the book:

***

Here is a quiz for you to take with your mate to get into the sticky bits that can be hard to talk about. Grab a couple sheets of paper and pens and write down your answers. Once you’ve answered each question, share your answers and see if you’re completely in sync or if there’s some talking to do. It’s important that you are honest with yourself and each other on all the big things because if you start this union off withholding your truth, it will cause you nothing but trouble. What you’re going for here is full transparency. Starting a dialogue is more important than being completely matched up on your answers. The conversations you will have on these topics will bring you closer together as a couple and make it more likely that you can overcome any standoffs you might have had otherwise. Talking good. Secrets bad. Lies worse. So, let’s get started with the How to Keep Your Marriage from Sucking Engagement Quiz. Bon appétit!

FINANCES

The money I make is considered… A. Our money because we two are one, and I want to share everything with you. B. My money. Keep your grubby paws off it you big free-loader. Get your own J-O-B. C. I suppose it’s our money since we’re going to be married, but I might not want to put it all in the joint account because I’m not all that confident you know how to live within a budget. Maybe I’ll have a separate account on the side and just put a portion of my money (I mean OUR money) in that account each month, so if you totally blow it, I won’t completely panic. D. I make money?

I know the state of my finances… A. Always down to the penny. B. On payday. C. Once a year at tax time. D. When the collections agencies call.

SPENDING

I would describe my spending habits as… A. Impulsive. I can’t leave the checkout line without getting suckered into a pack of gum, and, if I really love some- thing, I get it in two colors. I live on the edge of my finances. B. Cautious. I’m good at stretching a dollar and saving one. I live below my finances. C. Reasonable. I spend money on quality not quantity and live well within my finances. D. Out of control and I want to change…last week I bought a monkey.

I want to be able to spend money… A. Whenever I want without having to check with you. B. When it’s important for the both of us. C. On things we need for everyday life at my own discretion but check with you on big-ticket items. D. To online shop like a motherfucker and hide my purchases from you, but please love me anyway.

For our first few newlywed years I would like to… A. Live large now and then rein it in before we have kids. B. Save for the future starting now and be responsible. C. Travel and vacation as much as possible before we are shackled to real responsibilities. D. Start our own zoo with that monkey I bought.

Where will we live? I would like to see us… A. Buying a home ASAP and becoming homeowners. B. Renting for the first few years until we can save up to buy. C. Living in one of the dwellings we currently are in. D. Staying with one of our parents to save money until it becomes awkward for everyone.

When I think of kids I see us… A. Having an allergic reaction to the thought of them. B. Wanting only one child because I loved being an only child. C. Having at least two because I hate “only children.” D. Shooting the moon with three or more because I like a full house and want to make sure there’s someone to look after us when you’re in adult diapers.

Religious matters… A. Not at all to me—religion is no biggie. B. To my parents so we’re going to have to pretend—I’m conveniently religious. C. Did I mention that I want you to convert? D. My religion is a huge part of my life and who I am, and that’s not going to change no matter how hot you are.

Religion and kids… A. Kids must be raised in the faith. B. Can they be disciples of Yeezus? C. If it’s important to you, I’ll pretend it’s important to me. D. I don’t want religion to play a role in the way we raise our kids.

Families (in-laws)… A. I’m marrying you, not your family, so keep them away from me. B. My mother is the most important person to ever draw breath, and I will always choose her over you (but I don’t want to have sex with her). C. Big families are what make the world go around; the more the merrier. D. I accept your family, warts and all because I love you…but we may end up drinking a lot. E. Do we have to let our families know we’re getting married?

Friends… A. Your friends are great, and they get along with my friends. No lines being drawn here. B. Here’s the thing…you could do better. I think you should spend more time with my friends. C. We each get to keep two, the rest are negotiable. D. There is going to be a massive editing of friends. Players are getting cut from both teams in a bloodbath.

Careers… A. We both have careers that are equally important. B. Whoever makes the most money is the priority career. C. I never said I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. D. Your band is a hobby, get a job. E. You knew this was my life when you married me, so don’t act surprised now.

Long-term goals… A. To have kids and send them to college, vacation from time to time, and retire with money to move to Hawaii to raise chickens and bees. B. To have no kids, travel whenever and wherever we want, and spend our lives together. C. To get you elected to the Senate. D. To find a way to be happy, no matter where life takes us, and be the envy of all our neighbors. E. To get a reality series where we look like idiots but can release our own clothing line.

When we combine our things, we’ll keep… A. All my stuff only. B. All your stuff only. C. A little of this, a little of that—start fresh combining some of our stuff but also adding new stuff we choose together. D. Just those pictures of you and your nana up at the lake. E. Don’t even think for a minute that your ________ is coming in this house.

DAILY LIFE

Who will do the household chores? A. We will split them 50/50 and make a kick-ass Raise the Roof/Clean the House playlist and blast it while we clean our love palace. B. Whoever loses the coin toss that week. C. The housekeeper that we will gladly pay cold hard cash to. D. I thought it was your turn. E. Where do we keep the washer and dryer?

How will food happen? A. I’ll do the grocery shopping, you do the cooking. B. We alternate grocery shopping and cooking depending on who has the time to do it. C. I will orchestrate a complex and detailed schedule of weekly runs to Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, and the Farmer’s Market and blow your mind with my wine pairings. D. I only know how to make takeout. E. I’ll trade sexual favors to not have to cook, grocery shop, or think of food.

I’d like to eat dinner… A. With you every night by 7 p.m. and talk about our respective days around the dinner table. B. With you every night no later than 8:30 p.m., time and place TBD. C. In front of the TV with my fingers while you’re still at work. D. With my friends at a restaurant, but I’ll bring you takeout. E. Every man for himself.

Sleep matters… A. I’m an early riser but will bring you coffee in bed. B. I’m a night owl and will make you stay up with me binge-watching Netflix because you love me…and I know your weak points. C. Cuddling is something they made up in the movies—don’t touch me while I sleep. D. I will hog the covers like a baller and leave you shivering in your pajamas. E. You’ll have to work around my dog because he was here before you were.

If I’m sick… A. Leave me the fuck alone. B. Treat me like I’m seven and bring me grilled cheese, tomato soup, and ginger ale in bed. C. Crawl into bed with me and get sick too so we can catch up on House of Cards. D. Acknowledge that it sucks and buy me a present before abandoning me to save yourself. E. I expect a stack of my favourite magazines and foods on my bedside table and for you to have queued up my favourite movies on the DVR.

AND FINALLY…

We should have a frank and open conversation about sex because… A. We are best friends and should never be afraid to share who we are with each other no matter how embarrassing it may be because I am your safe place. B. We are the only people we are supposed to have sex with for the rest of our lives. C. I need to know what to get you for your birthday. D. If we don’t it could lead to problems down the road that have a devastating effect on our marriage…and no one wants that. E. That shit is real.

The truth about me is that I like porn… A. More than you know. B. More than anyone you’ve ever met. C. Not at all. D. Occasionally when paired with the right wine. E. Less than I like extensive dental surgery.

If you’re into porn it will make me feel… A. Like you’re a healthy human being in touch with their sexuality. B. Like you’re a creep. C. Like you’ll expect our sex life to be off the charts and crazy all the time. D. Like I’m never going to be enough to satisfy you. E. Less than sexy, unless you at least share or explain why you like it so I can get a better grasp on it and you. And maybe we can try it together rather than you alone.

As far as our sex life goes… A. I’m game for anything, anytime, anywhere. B. I like to go the more traditional route—indoors mostly, no kink. C. 50 Shades of Grey is my bible. D. I’d like to have one. E. No animals watching. F. No animals.

My libido is directly proportional to… A. Our connection. B. Your hotness. C. Your paycheck. D. My security in the relationship. E. The testosterone that courses through my body.

[junker-town]

‘Bachelorette’ Episode 9: It's time to exploit family dynamics during hometown dates!

Just another day in the morally sound universe of ABC’s hit franchise!

Welcome to Sports Bachelor Nation. I, your host, Charlotte Wilder, must apologize for leaving you in the lurch last week. MLB All-Star weekend was in Miami, and I was covering it, which means last Monday night I watched the Home Run Derby instead of The Bachelorette.

Now, I know that I’ve gone on this whole crusade to convince you all that this stupid show is sports, and it is. [*Extremely Stephen A. Smith voice*] HOWEVER: when presented with the option of witnessing Aaron Judge crush thirteen thousand home runs in four minutes or having to suffer through Rachel’s predictable dates with a bunch of boring-ass dudes for two hours, I will always — always — choose the dingers.

Rachel was at All-Star weekend, it’s worth noting, but she did not respond to my tweets asking if she wanted to hang out. I tried. And I’m sorry to have failed you.

Fortunately, I don’t feel like we missed much on this journey together, since Adam and Matt were the two dillweeds that Rachel was obviously going to get rid of before meeting four guys’ families this week. To jog your memory: Adam was the man who brought a creepy stuffed human to the mansion on the first night. Matt was the construction worker with hair plugs. I miss neither of them.

(Also, shout out to Rodger Sherman at the Ringer, because thanks to his recap, I know what happened last week.)

Let’s do this.

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND, WITH ERIC

Eric is from Baltimore, so it’s off to the City of Lights (as they call it) we go. Rachel shows up, they sit on a bench, and she puts her legs over his. Eric is wildly distracted by this physical contact. She asks him what he has planned for them and he’s like, “uh, I thought we could, see, the, uh, city, if you wanted, to, I’m from here” in that halting and unfocused way men speak when they’re trying to think with their brains and not their you-know-whats.

Eric takes Rachel to a basketball court, where he tells her that the men in his life were involved in the streets, and growing up watching them, he vowed he never would be. He was a straight-A student who was always there for his friends. Speaking of friends, his friend Ralph shows up, and says Eric is great (good friend!). He also says that Eric has never brought a woman home to meet his family before.

Rachel's always asking the right questions. #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/BxBzGprluA

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) July 18, 2017

You can see Rachel visibly freak out. Her body language changes as the wheels start spinning and she’s like …. “What have I gotten myself into with this relationship noob?”

Rachel is very, very nervous to meet Eric’s family. But when she gets into the house, Eric’s gathered parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings cheer for her. She relaxes immediately.

These people rule. Eric’s Aunt Verna sits Rachel down and she’s like (I’m paraphrasing here), “Man, it must be tough being the first black Bachelorette.”

Rachel looks at her as though she’s been waiting to hear this for months, because she probably has. She’s like (I’m paraphrasing again), “Yeah, Verna, it’s been really goddamn hard!!!!!”

What she actually says is, “It’s a lot of pressure, because you’re being judged by two different groups: black people and everybody else. I don’t think people realize that. Having to worry about what an entire group of people think about your choices.”

That moment when... well, anything great happens. #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/nFg83iuRnv

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) July 18, 2017

Eric is talking to his mom and they’re both serving up a dish that I like to call Bachelorette Word Salad, where they say things like “overwhelming love” and “I’ve been running from love my whole life,” and all the things you’re supposed to say to convince America that you are Serious About This!!!!!

Eric tells Rachel he loves her. I like Eric. He’s sweet, he’s straightforward, and he’s clearly very into this woman. But he doesn’t say, “I’m in love with you,” so in the limo when she leaves his family’s house, Rachel’s like, “I’m skeptical.”

This show is wack.

BIENVENIDOS A MIAMI, WITH BRYAN

Bryan is from Miami, otherwise known as The Windy City, so that’s where we are. Rachel runs up to meet Bryan, who I find smarmy, underneath a canopy of palm trees. It’s immediately apparent that she is more into the idea of being physical with him than she is with Eric. They make out a ton and she says, “Hey baby!”

Before we go any farther, we need to talk about Bryan’s horrendous clothes. His polo shirt is ombre, sliding from pinkish red to slate gray, and he’s wearing a gray V-neck underneath it. But the worst part is that the gray of his shirt perfectly matches the gray of his pants, so his pants appear to be an extension of his top, and the whole thing ends up looking like some hideous jumpsuit. Look at this:

"Miami is city of vibrancy...a city of romance." - Bryan #THeBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/UatZNgBvXV

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) July 18, 2017

They play dominos and go dancing before they meet Bryan’s family. We get a hint of trouble when Bryan’s like, oh, so the reason my last relationship ended is because she and my mom hated each other. We are primed for a Controlling Evil Monster Mom, which is a Bachelor/Bachelorette trope.

We meet Controlling Mom at her Miami home. She raises her drink and toasts her son, calling Bryan the most special thing she has in her life. She then drinks an entire glass of wine while her eyes widen and she looks as terrifying as any potential mother-in-law could. I’m laughing, because you just know that two producers looked at each other as she did this and high-fived.

“Bryan is very close to us,” Bryan’s mom says to Rachel. “Bryan is my life. But I just want to give you a warning. You are marrying the family too.”

“Yeah, I want that,” Rachel says.

And Controlling Mom is like: “If a woman wants to take husband for her family she can do it. Some women want only for himself. If he’s happy, I’m happy. If not, I’ll kill you.”

If not, I’ll kill you.

Rachel’s like hahahahaha. But I’m like yo, watch your back, Rachel. I think this woman is serious.

But then, weirdly, Controlling Mom does a 180 and becomes really kind. She says look, it was a pleasure to meet you, you’re a good person, love is the most important thing.

Then Not-So-Controlling Mom starts crying, and Rachel starts crying, and the problem is that I am crying. This is extremely embarrassing for me to admit, but I cannot lie to you: I am very moved by the conversation these women are having about true love. No amount of snark can protect me from my emotions as I wipe away my tears, a few of which fall into the mostly empty container of hummus in my lap as I sit alone on my couch.

Bryan says, “Rachel, I’m in love with you.” Rachel kind of moans, and then they make out, and I thought Peter was going to win this whole time, but Bryan is really giving him a run for his money.

MADISON, WISCONSIN, WITH PETER

We are now in Madison, Wisconsin, otherwise known as Sin City. Peter lives here, so he takes Rachel to this big-ass farmer’s market that they have in the city square every Saturday. Fun fact: I have been to this farmer’s market before, and there's this one stall sells the best cheese-y bread in the entire world. Another fun fact: I was in Wisconsin a few years ago when I worked at a cooking magazine, and my phone had a thin film of meat and cheese grease on it the whole time. It got so bad the touch screen momentarily stopped working. I wish I were kidding.

Rachel meets some of Peter’s friend at a bar. There are two black men and two white women, and Peter’s like, “I told Rachel when we first met that eight out of my ten best friends are black.” DUDE, ARE YOU REALLY PULLING A “I HAVE BLACK FRIENDS”?!?!?!?

His friends are like, hey man, you show her your Black Friend Card? They're also like look, Pete’s an accepting dude. But I’m like, if you treat being friends with people of different races as though it makes you a goddamn saint in 2017, you’re doing it wrong.

Uncle Peter. ❤️ That's okay, we're melting too. #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/atqvJGeuMG

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) July 18, 2017

Anyway. The rest of the hometown date is devoted to Peter’s “holding back,” and his reluctance to “let his walls down.” His family and Rachel get along, and you can practically see her ovulate when he’s holding his sister’s daughter. But then his mom tells Rachel she isn’t sure he’ll be able to propose to her, and Rachel seems pretty crushed. She’s like, “I don’t want a boyfriend at the end of this.”

I get that she really wants to lock this thing up, but I’m also over here thinking … why does what the person is called matter? I don’t know, to me, the ideal situation for this show would be to end up with a boyfriend so you can see if you guys are compatible in the real world, as opposed to Fake Reality Land, before he gets down on one knee (the woman never proposes because the patriarchy is oppressive and must be dismantled).

But Rachel wants a husband, and I can tell that this will be the main storyline for the rest of her and Peter’s relationship. Until the producers reveal it was all a pump-fake and they’re actually engaged.

Peter doesn’t say I love you, and he’s like, “Shit, I blew it.”

ASPEN, COLORADO, WITH DEAN

We’re in Aspen Colorado, otherwise known as The Big Easy. Dean is from here, and he spends the entire first part of the date freaking out about seeing his family because they all haven’t been under the same roof in eight years. His mom died when he was 15 (he’s 26 now), and his dad kind of went AWOL afterwards, then converted to Sikh faith.

I’m like … are you sure national television is the place you want to do this?

But Rachel is like, why haven’t you talked to your dad in two years? And Dean is like, “Is it my responsibility to talk to my dad? To make sure there’s a relationship?”

I kind of wish Rachel would drop it, but she keeps pushing Dean on why he hasn’t worked harder to have a relationship with his family. BREAKING: Not everyone wants a relationship with their family, and not having one is sometimes way healthier than forcing something painful.

Dean keeps saying he’s terrified as they walk up to the door, and I’m very uncomfortable at how morally bankrupt it feels to use this young guy’s family strife for TV ratings (not that this franchise is some bastion of virtue). This feeling continues through the entire date. Everyone manages to have an okay time until everything goes to shit when Dean and his father speak to each other alone.

"The energy felt good to me." - Rachel #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/rQdcFoCJkb

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) July 18, 2017

They get into an argument about how Dean’s father wasn’t there for Dean, and about how hard it was for both of them when Dean’s mother died. They both clearly loved her deeply. Dean’s dad keeps turning the conversation around on Dean and can’t take any criticism. He’s being pretty cruel as he refuses to accept that he’s hurt his son. But he’s also definitely deeply damaged by the loss of his first wife, so. I don’t know.

I just hate this whole thing and wish they’d stop filming it.

But I guess it’s what you sign up for when you make it this far on this show. It just feels really manipulative, exploitative, and shitty to make a person bring his estranged family together in front of millions of people because it’s “what you sign up for.”

Rachel finds Dean lying on the floor after he talks to his dad. He’s a total wreck, and tells her he’s falling in love with her. She says she’s falling in love with him, too. This feels like a big mistake on her part.

Note: Dean recently posted this.

Hometowns are 2 days away! ..and I'm asking for a favor: when I said my father was eccentric, I was not referring to his Sikh faith or the turban he wears on his head. I'm not asking you to spare his feelings (or mine) but instead to be cognizant and accepting of the millions of people that belong to the Sikh community. Although he and I are not close, I respect my father’s decision to follow his heart and pursue the life he has chosen. Let us not criticize him for his appearance or his beliefs because by doing so we are disparaging an entire faith and culture that includes millions of people. And I know we are all better than that. That is all (for now) #endrant HAPPY SATURDAY PEOPLE

A post shared by Dean Unglert (@deanie_babies) on Jul 15, 2017 at 1:04pm PDT

ROSE CEREMONY, WITH EVERYONE

Saying she’s falling in love with Dean is a big mistake on Rachel’s part, because she ends up sending Dean home. I get it, I guess — he’s young, and his family is clearly not the ideal cookie-cutter that she’s looking for, given that she keeps talking about how her parents have been married 37 years.

But Dean is like, uh, why’d you tell me you were falling in love with me if you’re sending me home? And Rachel says she is falling in love with him. And he’s like, then, wait, what!? But you got rid of me?! And says she just felt like he couldn’t give her what she needs. Which sounds like a lot of B.S. to me.

In the limo on the way home, Dean is like, “she made a mistake.” It’s interesting to me that in the limos when a dude gets sent home on The Bachelorette, he’s often like, “She just made the most wrong decision of her life!” But when it’s a woman on The Bachelor, her reaction is usually, “No one will ever love me, I’m not good enough for anyone, this is a direct reflection of my character.”

Even though it’s really just a direct reflection of some strange and kind of awful Stockholm Sydrome version of love. This is how society conditions us. AGAIN, WITH THE GODDAMN PATRIARCHY!

Anyway, next week the guys meet Rachel’s family. Things don’t seem to go that well for Bryan in the previews, and there are a lot of teasers devoted to Peter’s “walls,” which makes me sure that they are red herrings and that Peter wins, as I originally predicted.