#this is why hobie's character is so fucking important and necessary

[chronic-ghost]

As a fan of video essays and FD Signifier's specifically, highly recommend this one (Was Across the Spiderverse "Copaganda?" with @SkipIntroYT). Skip Intro's series on copaganda in the media is also friggin' brilliant (the one about police dogs was really eye opening for me in particular and yes, that one is about Paw Patrol) and if you haven't seen that already, please do. Discussions like these are important and need to be on-going for real change to occur.

Also, please don't ever watch Bluebloods.

[jungnoir]

𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡!𝐛𝐭𝐬;

bts but as witches in a coven. discuss

𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤𝐣𝐢𝐧: the supreme

ok not quite but he’s the most experienced in magic out of all the boys

his mother was a witch and she taught him everything he needed to know from birth to adulthood

his whole family is blessed with magic save for a few who didn’t get the gene but every family reunion they all dote on jin and talk about how powerful he’s become and how proud they are of him

the coven house where all of the boys stay is actually jin’s ancestor’s home from a long time ago

the place has brought up witches of all generations and jin was very eager to inherit it

while there’s definitely a lack of witches he’s been able to recruit, he loves his family of six so it doesn’t really bother him

he acts like he’s all serious but in reality he’s always casting spells on the youngins as tests (read: for fun)

jimin: why tf did you give me green skin

jin: if you had been paying attention during lessons you would know how to fix it :)

has definitely said this out of context more than once: ”any witch worth a broom handle knows how to get rid of poisonous snakes! you know back in my day…”

wears the flashiest outfits, but little do people know that they’re all homemade. he has a serious creative eye and seeks to make what simple human designers wish they could (taehyung is very eager to learn this talent from him)

goes all out on halloween with this talent too, creating uber realistic costumes

no he didn’t make a costume out of real human bones that year he went as a scarily realistic skeleton what are you talking about

no graves were robbed in the making of this outfit

if you couldn’t tell, his specialty is in glamours

honestly the guy should just tattoo “i’m a witch” across his forehead, he makes it so damn obvious

he openly practices magic too like it gives yoongi stress pains bc!! there’s still ppl who would very much like to burn witches still to this day!!! where is the self-preservation!!

jin doesn’t care. he’ll burn them right back. checkmate bitch

honestly charms anyone that comes in contact with him which is one of the things he never has to try at

the guys think he uses magic to do it but he’s honestly just, as jin would say, “born with it”

𝐲𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢: the right hand man

*namjoon voice* and who do we got here right now??? ˢᵘᵍᵃ!!!

when it comes to magic, yoongi is pretty neutral

an awfully interesting feeling to have given that seokjin has appointed him the heir of the coven in case anything happens to him

he’s not obsessed with magic like tae, hobi or kook

he doesn’t spend his time learning everything about it like namjoon

and he’s not playful with it like jimin and jin

yoongi just… acknowledges it. its like it exists as something he can do and he’s proud but he doesn’t really care if that makes sense

most of his friends outside of the coven are human too and he has no reservations about telling them what he is bc if they cause trouble he is more than prepared to take care of it

they’re usually like “wow so cool! i wish i was a witch” but yoongi really doesn’t care lmao

with or without magic, yoongi is the same: he loves music, he loves making music, and he loves being a musician

yoongi, however, is guilty of having used magic to make his music just right before

sometimes a note just doesn’t sit with him right and it’s driving him insane

or maybe the bass doesn’t hit hard enough

he charms his music in a way that when one listens to it, they feel exactly what yoongi wants them to feel

people are always telling him he has a real gift in music and while he most certainly does, he feels he has to give credit to his magic for helping him along sometimes

but then seokjin will be like “isn’t magic your talent too? aren’t you just exercising it when you charm your music? it’s not like you can only make music well. you should give yourself props for your magic too”

it’s just. weird to him because he’s seen how much magic can corrupt people in much higher positions than himself and it’s Terrifying

he wants to know that no matter what he makes, it’s his and his alone, not attributed to any otherworldly advantage

this just kind of contributes to his need to be as detached from magic as possible

he’s too cheap to buy one of those coffee makers that automatically start brewing at a certain time in the morning and just uses magic to do it instead

“yoongi do you want me to buy you a new coffee maker for your birthday? they have ones that do all the work for you now-” “no”

he has to be extra, okay namjoon

jimin teases him sometimes but yoongi knows it’s all out of love

jimin understands yoongi in a way, and while the others are always like “yoongi you should have more fun with your magic!” jimin is always like “no no no, let him be”

besides yoongi could probably smoke all of them in a battle of magic if it came down to it lol

𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤: the perfectionist

HERE HE IS!!! ITS HE

hoseok is probably one of the most talented witches in the coven

hoseok is a perfectionist to a t so if he feels insecure about how he’s doing a certain spell he will do it over and over and over until he’s got it right which makes him a pretty formidable opponent

like even the boys wouldn’t go up against him bc they know they’re just gonna get their ass handed to them

he’s a sweetie tho and very light-hearted and he never lets his power get to his head

he mainly uses it to bother the others tbh

also uses magic to give himself and the boys cool ass hair colors

currently he’s obsessed with this orange he’s got going on

calls it “pumpkin spice” bc it angers yoongi

“it really brings out the burnt sunset hues of a pumpkin ya know? or like a mix of changing fall colors, like golden crisp and warm crimson” “it’s fucking orange” yoongi can be heard chiming in from somewhere else in the house

but don’t get me wrong, hoseok loves himself some yoongi and vice versa

yoongi taught hoseok directly bc yoongi was the one that found hoseok

he was just an average college student and wasn’t really finding a will to live outside of paying off his student debts

he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life and was pretty dead inside, working at a cafe and serving coffee to other dead inside college students when yoongi came in and sensed his strong magical aura

yoongi kinda forced hoseok’s magic out of him by tossing a cup of steaming hot coffee to the floor, causing hoseok to freeze the entire cafe in time, save for the two of them. yoongi told him what he was and the rest was history

now that it’s been so long hoseok still gets upset that yoongi was willing to break one of the cafe’s mugs to prove a point

because of course, when time unfroze, the mug fuckin shattered all over the place what a fuckin jerk guess who’s going to have to clean that up does he really have no respect for retail workers seriou

seokjin also was opposed to yoongi’s method but since it resulted in hobi joining their coven, he can’t be too mad

it was hoseok’s natural ability that yoongi was able to help hone, and when hoseok found a love for it, he took it upon himself to be the absolute best witch he could be

hoseok’s power of stopping time is uniquely his own and he’s worked hard to perfect it

sometimes he just stops time to stop it

hob: *freezes a movie theater right before something dramatic happens on screen* hold on yall I gotta piss real quick

freezing time is also super helpful during *cough* stressful exams* cough*

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧: the scholar

he knows…. everything

not only did he do the reading, he did an 8 page analysis on it and corrected a few mistakes too

namjoon was aware of his witchy nature even from the moment he was a little kid, and his parents were both human and a bit scared for him since they didn’t know how to handle it, but they gave him the option of pursuing magic or not. they made sure to do all their own research into where witches could go to hone their craft just in case

in the end, namjoon grew curious and started reading books about magic and magical things

tho he didn’t actually start using his power until his mid teens

by then he was a bit shaky with it, but he knew a lot and was very determined so he got the hang of it very quickly

rarely uses his magic outside of it being necessary tho bc he’s gone so long without having to use it that he doesn’t rely on it for anything

he also likes to be independent from his magic in a way

while magic is very much a part of him and his being, he doesn’t want it to be like a crutch, you know? his biggest fear is losing his magic, bc he’s heard it can happen

he’s also aware that some witches lose important life skills and miss out on opportunities to build their character bc they’re so used to being able to just magic their way out of a situation

went from student to teacher real quick

teaches the other boys how to properly say incantations

“its levios-ah not levios-ar”

actually?? a pretty scary dude when it comes to using his magic for real

don’t put him in a situation where someone is getting hurt because he will not go easy on the aggressor. the other boys can attest to this too, having been saved by him far too many times than is acceptable in namjoon’s eyes

basically dont fuck with namjoon’s boys or u gon die

does cute things for the boys on their birthdays with magic

one time taehyung was sad that it wasn’t snowing on his birthday so namjoon made it snow for hours

may have fucked up the climate a lil bit

yoongi almost lost a toe

namjoon frequents a library and whenever a lil kid is struggling to reach a book he uses his magic to drift the book down to the little kid and when the kid looks at him in awe he just presses his finger to his lips and winks at them

flirts using his extreme wicca knowledge, of which is either a major turn off or a major turn on. you decide

𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧: the reluctant

jimin loves magic, but it wasn’t always like that

jimin kinda struggled with accepting his magical abilities at a young age bc he was really confused

like why wasn’t he just like everyone else? why did he have to be a witch? why did he have to have magic when he could’ve just been normal?

he often rejected it, never bothering to learn anything even to impress the family at reunions

but as he grew older, his parents grew worried he’d hate his magic and never use it again, putting him in a vulnerable position if his magic were ever to just come out when jimin isn’t in a place to control it, so they let him meet a slightly older witch that could help mentor him

his parents would’ve done it but jimin hardly ever listened to his parents about magic and they wanted to show him there were witches his age that were amazing people and embraced it, that it didn’t take away from jimin’s life but in fact added to it

in comes yoongi

yoongi, at first, really pities jimin

he understands the struggle between wanting to be normal and dealing with a part of his identity that won’t ever go away

where yoongi is concerned, that struggle for him was that he wanted to be himself regardless of being talented in magic. jimin... just hates it

but then jimin starts bashing magic and witches and he’s about to get angry at his parents for trying to force him into being a witch when yoongi just,,, slaps him upside the head

jimin’s shocked and yoongi is just like “respect your parents kid, they’re looking out for you. just because you don’t use your magic doesn’t mean people won’t know you’re a witch. its dangerous for a witch to go around with magic and not know how to use it”

jimin is shocked. he never thought of it that way

jimin feels embarrassed all of a sudden and apologizes and then yoongi cracks a smile and he’s like “no biggie kid, i’m just here to teach you the basics of magic and then i’ll be out of your hair”

jimin finds that learning magic with yoongi is really fun and soon he’s asking to be apart of the coven and embracing being a witch

he becomes carefree with it, like it’s another part of him, and he’s still kinda inexperienced, but he’s learning a lot from yoongi and namjoon

loves playing with temperature

the boys make him freeze their drinks for him, or ask him to heat up some popcorn while they’re all sprawled out on the couch on movie night bc no one feels like waiting two minutes for it to cook in the microwave

makes the water in the shower cold whenever one of the boys is taking way too fucking long in there which is Everyday

also jimin: *hitting on someone at the bar* *makes the room slightly warmer* “is it hot in here or is it just you?”

relates everything he learns back to naruto in some way, much to everyone’s complete and utter confusion

he just really kins the guy i guess

100% owns every single witch pun shirt known to man

“witch please” “witches do it better” “this is my resting witch face”

jungkook: by all means jimin why don’t you just burn us all at the stake yourself

it’s ok tho bc it’s his own little way of owning his identity, and if you want to avoid having your fingers frozen off, you’ll be sure not to step to him any kind of way

𝐭𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠: the transcendent 

my favorite witch!!! i wrote this whole thing for him

tae is like jin in that his whole family is magical and he grew up surrounded by magic his whole life

in fact, he’s so familiar with magic that he’s kind of sick of it (no he isn’t (most of the time))

taehyung is unique with his magic bc he’s actually able to transcend realms oooh~

the information on how many realms and parallel universes and such are limited as hell so taehyung actively helps broaden that knowledge as he travels, a very Dangerous and Scary job to anybody else

but to him he’s like!! fuck yeah astral projection!

basically, he’s able to put himself into a deep sleep where he moves through different realms, some more or less magical than the others

he’s so good at it that he can project himself into someone else’s dreams too

he’s basically capable of seeing more than most magical beings, and he can perceive spirits easily, as well as being able to actually see a magical aura around someone

so for instance, if a witch who didn’t know they were a witch walked into a bar, he’d know what they were instantly. besides the general intuitive feeling that most witches get, he can see the auras physically, like swarming tendrils of smoke unique to every person

each aura feels and looks different than others which makes it easy for him to point out shape shifters and vampires and werewolves and all the other guys pretty easily

bc of this ability, taehyung also likes to mess with the boys like everyone else lol

“tae, i just saw the most beautiful-” “they’re actually an ogre in disguise” “WHAT”

“man my english teacher is a witch” “she actually is”

in case you couldn’t tell tae’s favorite victim is jungkook

casually tells people he’s a witch just for the #reactions

if you’re wondering, no. nobody in this coven cares about keeping this shit a secret

since he’s more sensitive to dreaming, a lot of his dreams leave him incredibly emotional because sometimes he really is there

he once had a dream where all magical beings were universally accepted in the world and were loved and happy and woke up sobbing into jimin’s lap

also nightmares take a HUGE toll on him so his sleep pattern is fucked for real

usually ends up eating cake with jin in the dining room at four am and talking about life together to get the nightmares off tae’s mind

tae uses his magic on humans in a different way. like he doesn’t prank them that much, but rather manipulates their moods. he tries to charm anyone he comes in contact with to make them happy or to make them giggly

he wants to use his magic for good, because it often leaves a very painful burden on him in turn

𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤: the prodigy

honestly i feel like if jungkook was a witch he’d probably be an underdeveloped one, you feel?

he finds out his power late bc either his family didn’t know (they’re all human) or they just didn’t tell him in hopes of him never becoming one

but jungkook is being bullied by some guys in his grade and they corner him after school one day and jungkook gets so frustrated that he just,,, makes them all start uncontrollably burping

as dumb as it is, those kids never bother jungkook again

when he does get a hang of it, jungkook probably uses his magic for fun more often than not

jungkook is recruited by jin for this very reason. he catches jungkook messing with old people at the park on his afternoon runs and he’s like this kid is such a brat. i want him

jungkook is SUCH a fast learner holy shit

he goes to namjoon for every little question, to the point where namjoon is positive he’s become a better witch simply because jungkook has prepared him for any fuckin scenario known to man

he also makes himself float upside down in the kitchen at night so when hoseok comes down for a glass of water he almost pisses himself

“haha did i scare you” 

cue hoseok making jungkook fall down as he mumbles “little shit” under his breath

halloween is his favorite time of year and he likes to pull harmless pranks on the kiddies while scaring the mean teenagers ruining all of the children’s fun

like he sees this guy in a deformed mask holding a plastic knife about to scare a little boy so Jungkook just gives the dude a wedgie with his magic

all the kids are laughing at him and jungkook just smirks

honestly he doesn’t like reading about magic as much as he likes just doing it from intuition/namjoon’s instruction. he’s a lot like hoseok in that he has a lot of natural talent but not a lot of proper training when he first starts honing his ability

since jin yoongi and namjoon are in charge of teaching magic they all hound on him like “did u do the reading”

jungkook maybe glosses over everything and then just over-performs as compensation

they get on him abt it but there’s no lying about it, jungkook is a strong witch on his own

he hasn’t gotten a special manifestation of his magic Just Yet but he only gets stronger as he goes. the more he applies himself, the stronger he grows

[honeymoonjin]

day 15

“we all fucked (up)”

How ever long it might have seemed to have taken me to write my response to day 14 cannot even compare to how long it has taken me to actually work through my feelings for day 15. Because despite the heart to heart Y/N had with Jimin and Tae, the heart to heart filled with apologies and funny quips that the whole group had at the table (brownie points galore for utilizing the dining table as the setting for the scene bc it re-establishes the group’s dynamic in a communal space which the dining table symbolizes!!!) which follows with a full on closet sex scene before rounding it all off with an actual orgy, I just want to talk about the date. Here’s the issue I run into though… I loved all of those scenes I mentioned and I want to give you credit for how well you wove each of them so seamlessly into the story. They were necessary not only for the progression of the story but they were integral to the progression of character exploration. Because, let’s be real, the sex is but another tool used to break down characters in this verse.  

For example, I loved the exchange shared between Hoseok and Jimin. One of the things that you did so well early on in the story was that you established that despite Jimin and Hoseok being doms who are both well versed in the industry in their own way, their opposing personalities reveal more about their own values and their preconceived notions of the world around them rather than the other way around. Yet characters who embody different perspectives aren’t enough; to truly explore their character themes, the story must find ways of testing the characters’ beliefs. Jimin’s strip scene, the incident of day 14, and the resolution at the dining table placed them in situations uniquely designed to attack their beliefs. This challenge gave both characters a chance to put their feelings and personalities on display. Similarly to Jimin being a mirror for Jungkook in Day 14, Hoseok and Jimin are constant foils for each other over the course of the story. They might never truly get along but there is an underlying implication that at the very least, they don’t hate each other. This sentiment was best encapsulated in their limited but very telling dialogue exchange throughout the chapter. 

And communication is so important in this chapter. It plays a huge role during the date that Yoongi and Y/N go on. In fact, communication is the reason I have dubbed their date as ingenious. From the dialogue exchange in the car ride to the restaurant to Yoongi revealing that he was able to secure a table at his brother’s high end restaurant, there is a sense of Yoongi wanting to impress Y/N. The joke that he tells her and the tone of the dialogue he shares with her all reflects a more “polished” Min Yoongi as opposed to the guy who licked cum off Y/N’s face earlier that day. This polished tone continues in Yoongi’s desire to treat Y/N out to a luxurious night on the town over good food which just happens to be financially beneficial to him. This small fact though is telling in its own way: as a doctor, the audience understands that this is not a reflection of Yoongi’s lack of funds to pay for the meal but rather that he is not a frivolous person despite enjoying the finer things in life. Thus, treating her to such extravagance shows how much he values her opinion of the night and by extension him as a potential partner. Unfortunately, Yoongi’s well laid plans crumble under circumstance thus the two are left with a dilemma. When Y/N offers a solution, Yoongi’s willingness to go along with her suggestion shows that he not only respects and values her opinion but that they are on equal footing in their pseudo-relationship. The maturity shown in his actions continue to be one of my favorite aspects of the story and is why week after week, I find myself more and more taken with him. As the scene moves to the local “golden arches” establishment, we see that facade that Yoongi wore earlier in the night slowly melts away, leaving behind a side of Yoongi akin to the man who took care of Y/N after the intense scene they had together earlier that week – open, warm, attentive. This dichotomy reveals to the audience that the unimposing Yoongi is only ever coaxed out by Y/N when he feels like he needs to comfort her. The conversation that follows would be the second time that Y/N has confided in Yoongi that week – something she has not done so explicitly with anyone else on the show. One could argue that this could be because Yoongi is the most detached person from all of the drama on this show but that is not what their relationship dynamics imply. His ability to rationally speak about his feelings does not mean that he is detached to them; in fact, it might imply deeper feelings of connection because he knows how much he has to lose. Yoongi’s relationship with Y/N is beyond something as fickle as lust or as complicated as romance. It feels like the building blocks of a true friendship based on mutual respect, a desire for the other to share their thoughts and opinions, and deep understanding of their partner. And, at the end of the day, is there anything sexier than being truly understood?

Which brings us full circle. Yoongi and Y/N’s night begins with Yoongi questioning Y/N (and implicitly asking the audience) “[are you] ready?” This set up can have multiple implications as this could refer to the night’s event itself (which are anything but conventional) or refer to the impending elimination round which Y/N has spent the day lamenting about. Either way, I doubt anyone of us could truly be ready for what is about to happen in the coming chapters. The audience is left very much like Y/N when she was asked if she was ready: we are “as we’ll ever be.”

Thank you once again for the spectacular addition to this verse. If you can’t tell, I had an amazing time with this chapter! You delivered for me what I did not expect and I was left speechless for hours, turning the events that unfolded in this chapter over and over again. I hope you know how much I absolutely adore this series and that I cannot wait to see what you have in store for the next chapter! Thank you for all of your hard work; your magic is truly the gift that keeps on giving. 💜 Jan 

---

ahhh jan i’m so happy you liked it !! as always you seem to be more introspective about my characters than sometimes even i am, and it honestly feels like the story and the characters improve as we go thanks to your thoughtful comments and analyses.

you’re totally spot on about jikook and jihope being foils for each other. criticising other people usually just reflects more on the speaker, and jimin disapproving of the way hobi plays the game just exposes how he’s started caring less about the game and more about the people himself. we start to see that it’s less of a factor of actually hating each other, but rather seeing their own flaws in an external context and not liking it. 

in terms of the date, woo, you’re so right about yoongi !!!! he likes the finer things in life but isn’t wasteful or prideful about it. he’s not taking her to a nice restaurant to show off the weight of his wallet, but because he wants to treat her. so when the booking falls through, he’s happy to let yn take the lead. even if he grumbles, he’s just a gentle softie on the inside ;;-;

i love writing scenes w yn and yoongi because i feel like theirs is a more intellectual and understanding relationship. their ability to be honest with each other brings them closer on a level that yn doesn’t yet have with the others. you’re right, yoongi isn’t necessarily detached, i think he’s just more capable of being calm and reasonable and seeing the bigger picture, particularly when feelings come into play.

As for what’s in the future for our friends in the villa? We’ll have to see how elimination goes next Tuesday ;)

thank you so much jan and i hope you have a great week xxxxxxxx

[loosescribble-blog]

Back to School

For Mike – I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think of this poem.

Part 1. Plague and Plagiarism or “Jeff Tweedy is God”

English majors go to school because they have a favorite band, and they want to talk them up with smart shit. Of course,

I’m no better, now. I’m no Creative Writing student, and I have no longer tail to wag than the English vermin. In fact,

the real world races us the same, holding sweet treats like “marketing writer,” “technical writer,” “copy editor,” yadda,

dangling as we jump and push each other aside for bites, ringing bells to start our wandering maze and ringing bells to

finish. This is why we need the bands, if you ask. It cushions the blows to make some noise--any noise--beside the bells.

Jeff Tweedy leads Wilco and writes songs for me, I’m sure. It is Urbana-Champaign in February, a Tuesday show, and

me with no cheese, so I go. Three hours drive. A jaunt to see old friends and an older professor. Then I stand in late line,

hoping for tickets and meet Chris who says “fuck” as an adjective. He wants me to chant with him, “Tweedy is God. Jeff Tweedy

is Fuckin’ God…” Chris has just graduated and says to me “the critics are calling him the Bob Dylan of our generation.”

When we score tickets, I smile and say “let’s let him be Jeff.”

Jeff sings:

remember to remember me standing still in your past floating fast like a hummingbird

his goal in life was to be an echo the type of sound that floats around and then back down like a feather but in the deep chrome canyons of the loudest Manhattans no one could hear him or anything

And that seems right for me and my college town. I hope they change the mascot to the hummingbird and never

change anything else. I hope my echo floats down like a feather, but six years past graduation, I know no one hears. Anything.

I came back to campus for different music than I played here, and to see old friends and an older professor who taught me

when all else fails, write the letter poem.

Part 2. Letter to the Editor or “Old Professor? Old!”

Dear Maddog,

I wasn’t sure you’d recognize me without the French horn I’d haul from class to mysterious class. Can you ever know

how strange a path I took from north campus to south, engineering to rhetoric to our surly business world? Rest easy. You can.

I have the odd habit of writing verse after visits and afflicting your aging, Jewish, Republican eyes with it. Here lies more of

the same. I enjoyed my return to your entropy office. Since it however seems I won’t be conferred with poetry, fiction,

or other fever to advanced degree, another achievement wrestles my brain. To be clear, it has become more important than polite

that I’m able to beat up your MFA students. Do you call them MotherFucking Asses? I hope. That would be (cough) masterful.

I’m certain I could take the two girls from your office, --both at the same time if necessary or desirable--

but I’m less confident about the curly-haired youth in the jacket by Carhardt. He had big shoulders and knew powerful

words about peanut parts I couldn’t place in poems. You debated “monocle” over “eyepiece” for the corporate snack character.

I sat in quiet with envy and jealousy both.

Still, it was I who called Dr. Beil to learn the true name of the climactic nubbin atop the two lobes of peanut meat.

It is “embryo” and not “angiosperm” so Van Walleghen can piss off. Don’t tell him, though. I don’t know him like you.

So you can piss off for him.

And Thompson. And Costello. And Friedman. Piss off for the lot. Piss off for all the giants of my education who retire. Is it so hard

to maintain my past, “floating fast like a hummingbird”? The simile is from Jeff Tweedy, the Bob Dylan of our generation

…well, maybe not your generation.

But I forgive you, Maddog. It’s hard to flap your wings so fast you stand still. And I’m glad you’re moving on. I’m glad

you’re trying to lose weight instead of gain it. I’m glad Mac’s a better angler than his father, the magazine editor who

won’t talk sass to Joyce Carol Oates. But mostly I’m glad you kept the other poem--the good one--and you kept

the baseball cap and you’re still bald and Jewish. The more things change, as they say. For me, what I didn’t say

is I read Dr. Beil the Delillo baseball stuff like you suggested. It made all the difference, and we went to spring training.

My wife kept “Wells,” her last name--the liberal in us. Unitarian, even. I play horn at church. Swing by some time.

We moved to a Swedish/Gay neighborhood when the bungalow sold. And on the second anniversary of the day her mom died,

we went back to the Polish buffet on Milwaukee Avenue. The golabki was awful, so I think we’re done now.

There’s more to those tales, but if I was good enough to write, I’d be on campus by now instead of this vagabond vacation.

They don’t say when they say it builds character, that it first clears the lot, wrecking with balls. That is, in closing:

tell your MFAs their asses are mine.

love, dickhorn

Part 3. Jen and Hobie or “Jen and Matthew”

Jen and Hobie sit across the table at lunch--just us three. I face them as when I bellowed their vows, shouting

enough for guests to hear. Sandra sat in the last row and scratched her ear when my howl failed the challenge

of the outdoor wind. I remember the horror of calling Matthew twice “Hobie” in the ceremony. But no shame nor wind ceased

the spark I remember of whatever hearth I carry inside me when I pronounced them man and wife. It is the same fire

as the day Hobie asked me to ordain online. Never a better compliment until Sandra took me as I gave Hobie, Jen--Jen, Matthew.

Jen and Hobie are buying now near Chicago, near us, and though I’m happy, too few of my college friends still capsule in Champaign

for easy visits and cheap lodging. Only Republican Joe remains of note, and I want liberals around to piss off the old professor.

Jen and Hobie thrill to move, though, full of the fury of house hunting. I try advice, but a home is a path like a wedding

or funeral; great institutions cannot teach it. Since school, I learned you should not speak about the things you cannot say.

Leave it to great poets to sing once their heads get past their peanuts. You will not understand of course, until after.

But after is when you need the poem most.

I say goodbye to Hobie and Jen, who research semi-conductors and architect green roof landscapes respectively. Respectfully,

I drive north to my gay, Swedish neighborhood and wonder of work. The prairie waves in brown grass and white snow. It

looks like the beard on old Maddog’s jowl. I decide to write that to him as I listen to Wilco beat from the speaker in lyric and jangle.

Anyway, my wife sleeps better when I’m home.