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ghost-proofbaby · 10 months

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TEN MINUTES (a barista!eddie x barista!reader au)

summary: eddie has a bad day, until you show up on your day off. after that, all it takes is ten minutes and the promise of a bagel to make it all better.

warnings: fem!reader (use of she/her pronouns), eddie is being a pessimistic hater (just like me fr), quite a lot of siren vocabulary here ('peak' references the morning rush, 'drive' references the position where you take orders on the drive thru, and 'customer support' is the person who just restocks everything and keeps the store as clean as possible. in simplified terms.)

wc: 4.2k+

the full menu

If anybody asked Eddie, he’d lie through his teeth and say that hate is a strong word. That he isn’t capable of hating anyone; that he only really, strongly dislikes a select few. But no one is really asking Eddie about that right now. So, he can be a hater all he pleases.

There’s nothing wrong with the people he’s opening with. It’s what he tells himself from the moment he wakes up, as he brushes his teeth, as he forces his curls into a half-assed bun and during the entire drive into work. There’s nothing really wrong with the two people. They’re not you — that’s not a crime.

But he was being a pessimist. Sue him.

“What would you rather open?” Corey, the other barista he was opening with, asks him as they walk into the store. Eddie isn’t even clocked in yet and he’s counting down the hours.

If you were here, there’d already be an unspoken rule that he’d open food and you’d open drive. “Either one.”

“Cool,” except it’s very much not cool as Corey says, “I’ll open food, then.”

Fuck me.

Eddie struggles through the tasks you normally fly through with half lidded eyes and an ache in his bones that he tells himself is just fatigue, but he knows is really him missing you. It’s been there since that day the two of you took the nap in his van, since he’d had the privilege of curling up and unwinding with you. He’s pretty sure the blankets in the back still smell like you, sweet perfume clinging to the material with a vengeance.

Peak isn’t any better.

Too many people, too many tasks, too many drinks, too many expectations. And not nearly enough clandestine smiles or subtle inside jokes. Not a single bump of a shoulder against his or an adorable little snort when he messes up rather than the well-deserved glare. He’s in a constant frazzled state, opening with the store manager rather than just another shift. Terrified he’s going to fuck up. Terrified that he’s one wrong move away from being fired. Terrified that he’s one ill-timed joke away from being scolded. He hates it; he hates spending his morning so tense and on edge when he’s grown so accustomed to spending them with you.

He’s in the back doing dishes with his headset beginning to slip off, just after peak when he’d been awarded the mercy of being reassigned to customer support, when he finally heard it — his sweet relief, the first ray of sunshine to break through the stormy clouds of the day.

“Hello, hello!” the annoyingly chipper voice of Corey greets the newest car in the drive thru, “How’s it going this morning?”

The only person he can stand being so positive is you. Anyone else, and he’s nauseated enough that he has to take actual, dramatic, deep breaths.

“I’m good, how are you?”

He knows that voice. God, he knows the voice that replies. He’d recognize it anywhere — in sleep, in life, in death. Stronger than any shot of espresso.

Nicole had just come in, taking over for the store manager. She didn’t even glance up from where she was writing in the books at the back desk as she heard the clatter of the dishes Eddie was holding echo through the backroom, only smiling to herself as she listened to him take off for the window and she says over the headset, “Metalhead incoming.”

He nearly falls on his ass twice, and scares the shit out of Corey, but it’s worth it when he peers into that small corner of the screen and sees you in your Jeep. Relaxed, smiling knowingly, as if you’re just waiting for him.

Corey seemingly knows better than to get between Eddie and answering this call, immediately backing off.

He has to catch his breath before he plays it off cool, “You know, most people don’t come to their place of work on their days off.”

“What can I say? I’m a caffeine fiend.”

You recognize his voice, too. It had been the one you’d prayed for as you drove up — you’re glad your sore disappointment didn’t last long.

“Yeah? Going into withdrawals not even, what, twenty hours after your last shift?” he teases with the dumbest grin, until the ache in his chest turns to an ache in his cheeks. There’s no room for him to even be embarrassed about how quickly his mood has turned around at your appearance.

You threw back your head in laughter, and he watched through the camera, “Maybe I just missed you guys.”

Maybe I just missed you.

He has to bite back an echo of the sentiment, still smiling wildly as he begins to type in your usual before even asking, “You want your usual?”

“Aw, you know my order, Munson?” your teasing has him blushing. Has something blooming deep within the pit of his stomach that he cherishes, “Cute.”

He doesn’t reply, only spins on his heels and begins to queue up your shots on the bar that’s closest to the drive thru corner. The current bar partner watches in confusion — he really doesn’t care. He’s not trusting anyone else with your drink. As if he has to make a point to everyone that he’s your friend, that you're his, even outside of these four walls (technically more than four, but Eddie hates technicalities).

He pauses halfway through pumping your ridiculous choice of syrups you always get, “You pullin’ up or what?”

Your laughter is cut short as you abide by his request he chose to politely poise as a casual question. The drive thru is in the rare state of empty, and you appear outside of that window rather than merely on the screen immediately, smile still gleaming in the late morning light.

Just like that, all the hate leaves Eddie’s body.

The automatic window slides open at the motion of Eddie stepping up to it, haphazardly popping the lid onto your drink as he glances up through his lashes, trying to force nonchalance rather than reveal just how giddy he is in your presence. It’s nice. A full breath of relief after the most suffocating of mornings.

“You makin’ me pay or what?” you ask, leaning ever so slightly out your window, voice pitched to clearly mimic Eddie’s.

With your head leaning out like that, the sun catches your nose ring just right, turning it into a blinding weapon as it blinks at Eddie. It makes your entire face look like it’s sparkling. It kind of reminds him of Twilight.

He kind of hates it. Kind of makes his stomach sick. Kind of makes his chest feel like a fizzy soda can, ready to burst at your command.

“It’s Nicole’s floor,” he shrugs, passing you the cup. Your fingertips brush his, and he tries to pretend like it doesn’t light a fire right through his core, “You already know she’d throw a fit if I made you pay.”

“And corporate would throw a fit if they knew that-“

“You wanna pay?” Eddie interrupts, squinting at you, picking up the card reader as he threateningly shoves it your way, “Because, by all means, I can take your card right now. Be warned, though. There’ll be a twenty percent tip added automatically.”

You whistle lowly, setting the cup aside somewhere in your car’s center console before you prop your chin up on your window to stare up at him, “Twenty percent? Have you earned that much today, old man?”

He promptly points to the mocha splattering his apron, “Absolutely, Sunshine. These coffees don’t drip themselves.”

You laugh at his nonsense, and he swears he can’t remember what reasons he even had to be in such a sour mood that morning. All his grumbles, all his woes, evaporate at the sound of it. Like a bandaid, like a balm, like an elixir — just under a minute with you, and all his problems have been solved.

Corey runs off to do other tasks, or maybe sit on their phone, Eddie isn’t sure. He doesn’t pay attention as the two of you somehow run off track into a conversation of the errands you spent the morning running. Washing your car, doing laundry (specifically washing your aprons), making a grocery list. He doesn’t get how all those mundane and trivial things can incite such exciting conversation between the two of you, but it does. He loves it — he loves hearing about your day. All your complaints and all the stupid things that get you excited. When you end up on some tangent about how you have never and will never separate your clothes by color because you haven’t ended up with any pink shirts yet, he can only imagine how terribly boring it would all sound to any eavesdroppers. When he laughs a little too loud at your recount of how you struggled to make your own coffee at home this morning, he knows he looks insane. It truly wasn’t that funny; but it was you, and when you started giggling to yourself halfway through the story, it was just infectious.

He spends so long draped halfway out that window, watching your fluttering lashes and pinching his eyes half shut at the reflection of the rising sun bouncing off your vehicle, that his ribs grow sore. A little indent appears on your chin, skin wearing a visible mark from leaning it against your open window all that time. And yet, neither of you make any move to end the conversation, to carry on with your day.

By the time another car pulls up, the window times are atrocious. Downright ridiculous. Probably bad enough to warrant a visit from corporate.

“I’m not insulting your baking skills, I’m insulting the fact that you just said oatmeal raisin is your favori-”

Eddie is cut off mid-tirade against your comment on your favorite cookie by the shrill ding that signals a car has pulled up to the order box, Corey’s voice following not long after.

“Hello, hello! What can I get started for you today?”

Eddie’s face twists up in disgust he can’t be bothered with hiding, and you bite your lip from bursting into laughter at his reaction. He didn’t like Corey. He didn’t have a good reason to hate them, but he didn’t have a good reason to like them. You always compared him to a feline when he’d explain it, poking fun at his pickiness when it came to which coworkers he would tolerate at best.

There was a reason that his nickname wasn’t Sunshine.

A hand comes down on Eddie’s shoulder just as your playful smile falters, and Nicole is practically dragging him out of the window.

“Okay. I’ve let you two ruin my drive times long enough,” she pauses, still holding back Eddie as though he might leap back into the window when she lets go of him. Her eyes narrow on you, “And you. I love you, but please, get the Hell out of my drive thru.”

A snort leaves you, “Fair enough. What are the times looking like?”

“Bad,” Nicole says flatly, “Very, very bad. So please, for the love of God, go.”

Eddie sneaks a glance up at the screen displaying the stats, and his eyes bulge immediately. You’d been sitting at the window for ten goddamn minutes. It wasn’t long in the grand scheme of things, the two of you had wasted far more time when on the floor together, but most people would spend less than two minutes there.

Nicole was going to kill him.

But it was worth it. He doesn’t care, isn’t worried about the lectures from Nicole or the shady comments that will surely be made by management regarding times and this random jump in the recap. All that matters to him is that the weight in his chest is a little lighter, that the noise in his head has gone a little quieter.

Nicole glances back at him and then you, and only sighs deeply, resembling a disappointed parent, “He literally gets off in five minutes. Just go park and wait for him if you really want to spend an unreasonable amount of time debating cookies.”

Your eyebrows lift, and you look right past the most relaxed of the shift leads to stare right at him. Eyes gleaming, smile brightening.

Yeah, the weight in his chest didn’t even exist now.

“See you in five,” is all you say before your car jerks forward, and is quickly replaced by an actual customer.

He doesn’t believe you’ll be waiting. Spends his final five minutes offering to help Nicole however he can, which she just scoffs at and waves him off, giving him the pity task of ‘wiping down everything’ before he clocks out. There’s a shocking lack of a lecture, and he doesn’t notice it, but everyone continues to side glance at him as he walks with a little pep in his step.

They can all see it. Even if he can’t, even if you can’t, they can.

The end of his shift arrives, the counters are clean, and Eddie nearly launches the wet rag he was using to wipe everything across the store into the bucket of sanitizer. Tosses it hard enough to splash some of that murky water that desperately needs to be changed anew onto Nicole’s sneakers, gets a joking glare from her out of it. It doesn’t phase him; he’s got one thing on his mind, and it’s you. You, who he really hopes is still waiting outside the store for him. You, who he is begging the Universe to have stayed around and parked your car so he could have ten more minutes.

Ten more minutes. If anyone in Hawkins knew he’d been reduced to begging for ten more measly minutes with some coworker at a coffee shop gig he claimed to hate, they’d mock him endlessly.

“Don’t trip over yourself on your way out,” Nicole teases him as he stumbles up to the counter and begins to clock out on the iPad, fumbling with typing his employee numbers in correctly twice before the screen that lets him finally free himself of his shift pops up.

“Ha, ha,” he monotonously replies, brows furrowed deeply until the virtual time card officially reads that his shift has properly ended. He doesn’t even glance up at Nicole. His mind can’t register her words or poking fun.

Just you. You, who made the weight of his existence something bearable. You, who could make ten minutes feel like ten seconds.

You, who’s standing in the parking lot, leaning against the driver’s door of your car, arms crossed and lips fighting their widest grin yet.

“Took you long enough,” you comment as he crosses the asphalt in record time, feet beating against the ground beneath him in a pace just shy of breaking into a jog.

“It took forever for the iPad to load,” he tries to excuse himself, chest heaving not from his speed but the anticipation of being close to you again, “I think Nicole rigged it as revenge.”

“Ah, yes, the sweet revenge of a whole two extra minutes-”

Your sarcasm is cut short by him reaching out and yanking you towards him. You collide roughly with his torso as he squeezes his arms around you, nose instantly burrowed into soft hair that still smells like your shampoo. It took even him by surprise; to be so careless, so driven by touch that he wasn’t even sure you’d accept.

But you do. You accept it, pressing your temple against his sternum without missing a beat, arms struggling to release from where he’d trapped them in front of your own chest so that they could wrap around his waist to return the tight squeeze. You all but melt into his embrace, and he’s glad he didn’t overthink it this time.

He had missed this. Ever since that afternoon in his van, with the rain and the unspoken words, he had missed you.

“Rough day?” you mumble against the fabric of his work shirt, still reeking of coffee and probably a bit of sweat.

He tries to ignore any embarrassment at the thought of smelling gross as he nods, “So rough. I hate when Corey is on drive. Too positive.”

“Yet you love when I’m on drive?” your laugh echoes, vibrating against his bones, “They are not that bad.”

“They’re fucking terrible. I hate how cheery they are. Also, it’s so annoying when they try to joke how we’re busy, or just joke in general-”

“Edward Munson, you are the world’s most pessimistic barista.”

He loves the sound of his name on your tongue. He’s never heard those syllables pronounced so beautifully, so lovingly. Every restless component of his body settles, and when you finally start to peel away from him, he nearly holds you tighter.

He should hug you more often.

“I can’t help that people are annoying. Maybe if they weren’t, I’d be less pessimistic,” he mutters, looking down at you with half-lidded eyes.

Home. You were starting to feel like home, and he couldn’t begin to understand it. Miles away from the trailer, from Wayne and his ridiculous mug collection, from the sanctuary of his bedroom, and he managed to feel more at peace than he’d felt in years.

You’re shaking your head, blissfully unaware of the effect you had, “You say that about everyone.”

“Everyone but you.”

It was true. Everyone – classmates he’d left in the dust after graduation, his loyal friends, his passionate bandmates – found a way to annoy him at some point. It was fine; he could live with the little habits of others that irked him when he loved them enough. A fair trade off if it meant filling his life full of people that made it something worthwhile. But there was no trade, no catch, when it came to you. He was still sort of waiting for that other shoe to drop.

“Is that a challenge?” you take a step back, and he almost follows, like a lost puppy, “Because I can totally start trying to find ways to annoy you. I’ve just been playing nice these last few months.”

Funny how the months had flown by like mere weeks, and still managed to feel like years. It almost feels as though he’s known you since he was a child, like you were a residual comfort of his youth he’d managed to carry with him into adulthood.

He can’t say that, though. He can’t risk scaring you off, or scaring himself away. Maybe he would tell you all the ways his soul has started to yearn for you, all the ways you bring a tranquility in his life he’d spent far too long seeking out, only to find it in the most unexpected and inconvenient circumstances. Maybe those words will just tumble out some day. On a sunny day, or a stormy one. Hell, it might even be the day he finally calls Mordor as you had done days before.

“Try all you want,” he shrugs, shoving his hands into his jean pockets, avoiding fumbling with them like some foreign objects, “But I’m pretty sure that’ll be impossible.”

You tsk, “No, see, this is the part where you tease me about how if that was me playing nice, you’d hate to see my mean, or some dumb shit. I didn’t wait a full seven minutes for you to not know our script, Munson.”

“Sorry, some of us didn’t take a class on quick wit,” he rolls his eyes, but his cheeks still ache where his dimples rest. Ever present indents when he was around you, “What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

He’s being brave. Sticking his neck out and handing you a knife. You could cut him down, tell him you’ve got too many errands to run still to spend any more time with him as he was implying. Or, you could do the opposite.

It should be predictable at this point, but it isn’t.

Your eyes widen as you tilt his head curiously at him, “I… Nothing important. Why?”

You’re gonna make him say it. Force him to ask for your time outright.

“I don’t know, I was just thinking…” he sheepishly starts, simultaneously lifting a hand to scratch at the back of his neck as he nods to your empty passenger seat, “Maybe you’d… I mean, you might want some company? If not, I totally get it, but errands can get lonely and-”

“Yes.”

“-I know it’s just nice to-” he stops mid sentence, looking up at your sunny disposition as he processes what you’ve just said, “Wait, did you just say yes?”

“Yes,” you repeat, “I would love for you to join me for my boring errands, Eddie,” The excitement nearly consumes him, the realization that the two of you were finally going to hang out away from work. Something he’s worked towards for months, daydreamed about for more nights than he will ever admit. All those long mornings are coming to fruition. Ten more minutes, and then some. “On two conditions.”

“Oh?” he asks, voice squeaking the tiniest bit. If it were anyone else, he might have been ashamed of that stupid crack in his dialect, “Do tell me these conditions.”

“One,” you hold up a stern finger, putting on the most serious face you could muster, “I pick the music.”

He pretends to ponder it, but he already knows his answer. “I suppose I can allow it. What’s the other one?”

Your hand falls slowly, dropping all your serious demeanor inch by inch. You were smiling with your eyes – he hadn’t thought that was possible until he met you, and fell in infatuation with those ever present creases at the corners of yours. The way they lift your cheeks, the way they make your irises sparkle. He thinks the term was actually invented for you and only you.

“You buy me a bagel.”

Your face is full of mischief, but your tone is dead serious. It doesn’t matter, because you don’t have to sell him on the idea. He’s done pretending he’s not desperate for your time, for ten more minutes.

“Done,” he says, “As a matter of fact, I’ll buy you twenty bagels to save me from my boredom.”

“Slow down there, passenger princess,” you shake your head, “I only need one. You’re absolutely welcome to order yourself nineteen, though. But you’ve gotta vacuum up any crumbs you leave in my ca-”

“Yeah, yeah,” he stops you, waving his hand, “Got it. You choose the music, I buy you a bagel, I don’t leave behind any crumbs. Let’s go.”

You raise your hand, beginning to jingle your keys jokingly between the two of you, but Eddie is already rounding the front of your Jeep to get to the passenger door. “I didn’t even say where we’re going, old man!”

“Didn’t need to, Sunshine,” he calls out, grabbing at the still locked handle and tugging for emphasis. It earns a glare from you that makes all his insides twist in bliss, “Unlock this obnoxious ass yellow death trap on wheels so we can make it to the nearest bagel shop while they’re still fresh.”

“It is not a deathtrap,” you argue as you unlock your door first, hopping in and having to lean over to manually unlock his door. The moment it swings open, you’re still leaning over, settling your gaze on him, “And I happen to like the yellow, thank you very much.”

He’d never tell you, but he does too. It’s the most migraine-inducing shade he’s ever laid eyes on. He would never even consider buying a car for himself in the same color, and would mock any other driver on the road for it. But it was you – bright, vibrant, impossible to miss.

“You’ve got bad taste,” he says just for the sake of watching your faux annoyance, “Yellow’s the ugliest color.”

“And metal’s the most annoying genre.”

You’re both lying through your teeth. It doesn’t matter.

Because then he’s in your passenger seat, buckling up as you turn your key in the ignition, whatever upbeat songs you’d been listening to before begin to trickle out of the speakers, and everything just feels right. His shitty morning is forgotten entirely. As if it never happened. As if Corey hadn’t given him the worst headache of his life before you’d arrived.

When you turn your head to look at him, moving to turn down the music, you ask, “The nearest bagel shop is about ten minutes away. Is that okay?”

More than okay. It meant he gets more than just ten minutes. It means he gets more of your time than he’s deserving of, gets to watch you sing along to at least two songs he’s never heard of and would have no desire listening to when not with you, gets to feel a little more weightless a little bit longer.

Thank you, Universe, he mentally whispers at his wish of ten more minutes being granted, and then some.

“Perfect.”

You turn the music back up, lurch the car forward, and Eddie smiles when the sun catches that damn nose ring in a blinding manner yet again.

Perfect, indeed.

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carefulfears · 13 days

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we've both talked about how scully isn't jealous fire. what differences do you see between protective scully vs jealous scully?

yeah to me the main difference is that one is more external and the other internal. she gets very emotional when she’s jealous. in episodes like alpha (literally sitting that woman down and going “i’m watching you.” cracks me tf up. Dana nobody is taking your man.) and war of the coprophages, it’s kind of angry. it’s louder, but still something very vulnerable and true to her (hater-ism). in episodes like the end, it’s heartbreak. that’s one of the very few episodes where i think she was purely jealous, and sad. she usually understands what’s going on and i think she knew as soon as she heard him call diana by her first name that something was going to change. i think it hurt her feelings, that specific display of connection, usually reserved for her.

when she’s jealous she retreats. she watches quietly. she cries alone in her car. she needs a moment to herself.

it’s when she’s protective that you can’t shake her for anything. one of my favorite images in fire is her standing in the doorway while mulder and phoebe meet with the arson specialist. i didn’t even notice she was there the first time i saw it. she wasn’t invited. she’s just keeping watch. later, she’s standing in the hallway. after that, she’s in his hotel room, and doesn’t leave when phoebe comes in. says “are you okay?” the moment they’re alone.

people write off her behavior in this one as being “jealous” because she has a lil crush and there’s another woman there, but i honestly find that dismissive. sometimes people discuss scully through such a wide lens, not taking into account who she is. she’s really surprised throughout the time that phoebe was there. it’s that soft edge that still shocks to cruelty, that she never really loses. it’s what shocks in the pilot when the doctor hits mulder twice. what shocks in the following episode when the government agents punch him on the side of the road. (look at you you’ve radicalized scully). it’s what makes her wary of jerry lamana, even before he stole mulder’s work.

but phoebe is so cruel, and so personal, and has so much history. it’s not jealousy that makes scully linger in doorways. it’s not jealousy that spawns that folie a deux. no one else understands. no one else can be trusted. (which i do kind of think started in fire, i’ve said before). she isn’t jealous that he startles when he hears this woman’s voice.

and i know that’s a lot on phoebe as an example, but it doesn’t stop. she doesn’t stop keeping watch. she doesn’t stop shocking to cruelty. she’ll get loud. she’ll make plans. she’ll surprise herself. and it doesn’t come with jealousy’s mortifying intimacy.

(don’t have much else to say but i found this from an old post of mine and wanted to share: “scully has that kind of protectiveness towards him that you have towards a child that hasn't been touched by the world yet. it's very 'the world is at least half terrible, though i keep this from my children.’ 'good bones' by maggie smith. scully in the beginning is like......there is something here that should have broken by now. and she wants to watch him be able to walk into every room with the most hopeful answer and a hand out to every stranger.”)

she shares him with the world only reluctantly, Etc etc

#she wants people to be kind to him and it breaks her over and over #i’m still not very With It but i wanted to talk about this for a sec #i do think scully’s protectiveness is a much larger topic #i think it’s a huge source of harm for her #i think it’s a constant failure to her #i think it’s a endless cycle of wanting to absorb him whole or lock him up and shut the gate and then feeling bad. regretting it.#huge plot of iwtb / msi #it almost develops from that initial s1 jumpiness of just wanting people to not fucking beat him down #into knowing that everything does. everything will.#could they ever recover from her exiling him from being with their child because she was afraid it would kill him? i don’t know #the other thing that i’ve been thinking about a lot with this is that she’s guarding something most people don’t see #this world is so cruel to him. it’s insane to rewatch and see how carelessly people just want to see if they can shake him #and this world desperately wants to beat this kind of gentle vulnerability out of people #and it would be easier for scully if they did. she wouldn’t spend her days with a weeping wound. she wouldn’t be so anxious. so on guard #but she is unwaveringly dedicated to the much more difficult task of protecting something that’s very precious to her #i do think these qualities in her are extremely moving in that respect #and i love scully’s judgmental hater-ism #i just do also think it becomes a pathology for her in some ways #anyway those are some loose threads #asks #fire #‘For long hours on his couch that night #autopsy hands on his head #in his hair #she'd thought about what it would mean to hide him away.#Thought about what it would mean to steal and stash him like fairy treasure #to draw protective rings.’#(audries ‘throat eye and knucklebone’)

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camelspit · 4 months

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PICK THE WOMAN THAT YOU WANT ELIMINATED!!

Tinker by @thefoxysnake

Umber by @chronically-ill-psionipath

Master Cadence by @tw-5

Note! Definition of a sexywoman:

According to the sexywomanpedia, a sexywoman is "a character who shows the 'lanky suitman villain' tropes, is popular with wlw, and/or is highly divisive." Some factors to consider are morality (or lack thereof), overall mysteriousness, and strength (physical or abilitywise.)

Propaganda:

Tinker:

"she's trans! she's autistic! she's a mad scientist! she's everything you could possibly want in a woman!!!!!" @gay-otlc

"shes a mad genius she built a mad science castle she invented steampunk literally why would you not love her" @necromycologist

Umber:

"Shes an evil hot powerful shade that got killed in the book she got introduced in what more could you want" @thefoxysnake

"Umber (Redacted) is one of the women in the series that isn’t JUST psychological manipulator! She also fought! She broke bones (if I remembered correctly) and messes with everyone’s minds without even revealing her true name! She has a boyfriend! A BOYFRIEND. TRIX. She went through something ‘the incident’ (mentioned in the latest book) and joined the Neverseen! She got Trix, her Pookie to be in the Neverseen as well 🥺. You can tell she was also a good lover how Trix was so sad over her death. KEEP IN MIND SHE DIED BEING CRUSHED, so for those who likes angst; there you go. She died in her mission. She was Tam’s mentor and an EXCELLENT fighter if I do say so myself. Who wouldn’t vote Umber? A girlboss with a sweet boyfriend and has murderous tendencies? 😔🎉 Vote for Umber PLEASE! I’M BEGGING YOU! PLSPLSPLSPLS 😭😭" @chronically-ill-psionipath

Master Cadence:

"she’s a linguist. she’s a woman in stem. she’s tired of everyone’s bullshit. she’s fruity as hell. her house is cool as fuck (a howls moving castle style boat-thing made of metal that she built herself because she didn’t want to live in the elven cities???? come on). she’s a MASTER. what more could you want." @let-them-sing-of-others

"she’s an academic. shes smarter than u. she hates on the council and she’s RIGHT. she hates sophie actually you know what she has a hater complex but in a hot way. i love her yr honour." @necromycologist

"she spent YEARS researching on ogres and their culture. idk about you, but i would try keeping her in my good graces because she KNOWS ABOUT DEADLY POISON. WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS. I WOULD SHIT MYSELF IF I CAME ACROSS HER IN REAL LIFE EVEN IF IT WAS IN A GROCERY STORE ON A RANDOM TUESDAY AND SHE WAS BUYING OREOS. FOR ALL WE KNOW, SHE COULD HAVE LOADS OF THAT IN HER HOUSE/ON HER PERSON!!" @corruption-exe

"ok not to be a lesbian or horny on main (<- ace) but HOLY SHIT i want her to step on me. this lady has intensified my sexuality crisis" (anonymous)

#kotlc #keeper sexywoman 2024

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 4 months

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i am once again thinking of my little role reversal au curse user!reader…… and their dynamics with the students…..,,,. they make me insane 😔

they’re just. sooooo bitter. such a hater. they have the most insane toji-ptsd-induced beef with megumi and maki…….. it’s worst with megumi. they’re so mean to him for no reason. pulling out their biggest demon dog curse just so they can taunt him for “taking his little puppies out on a walk”……… they have that dynamic with maki too but it’s a lot more rooted in maki being a non-sorcerer in their eyes. and i think they end up rooting for her eventually…. they’ll never admit it though. but when she kills the zenin clan they’re there with the smuggest look on their face <3333

but with megumi, that sense of something almost playful isn’t there at all. they look at him and all they can think of is the scar on their neck, warm blood weighing them down, satoru’s and suguru’s half-dead bodies….. they look at him and they see toji. so they can’t help but hate him. they’re especially snarky with him just to hide how terrified they are.

the other second years are . a different story 😭 they don’t care about inumaki and panda. regularly forget they exist. rip. and i think they’re a little embarrassed to be around yuuta because he beat them LMAO…. but they also have a weird kinship going on. yuuta absolutely loathes them for hurting his friends and they’re just like :)) try me. do it. do it. you’re the same as me. JUST to piss him off…. suguru doesn’t let them be in the same room without adult supervision because otherwise they WILL be walking out with broken bones . they’re both unhinged.

but then we have nobara and yuji :(((((( who are their soft spots. yuji reminds them so much of suguru as a teen. they can’t help but love him. they want to protect him. same thing w nobara….. she reminds them of the way satoru used to be. reader is soooo protective over them both but in a kind of gruff way…. it’s really obvious that they care though!!! they want them to be safe. they want them to have a better childhood than they had. ….. although. well. i don’t think nobara likes them very much 😭 yuji is more open-minded.

and finally there’s nanako and mimiko . which is just. yeah. lots and lots and lots of bitterness from both sides <33333 nanamimi hate them for hurting suguru, and they hate nanamimi for being little brats. it’s all bark and no bite because reader wouldn’t actually hurt suguru’s precious daughters, but . like. they kinda want to sometimes 😭 they’re maybe just a little bit jealous . coming back only to find out that suguru has two daughters, that he saved them and protected them but let reader slip away……. they don’t want to acknowledge that part of it but. it’s there. and nanamimi is DOUBLE the jealousy because??? whyyy is suguru-sensei so in love with you. why does he keep loving you despite what you’ve done. why can’t he move on and meet someone else? someone better?

…. all three of them are aware that reader’s holding him back, reader included. there’s a silent understanding there. and i think it eventually develops into a mutual respect. suguru loves reader, so nanamimi grows to love them too. and reader doesn’t really get a choice in the matter when they’re so similar to their father…. sniffle. they’re found family :(((((( reader is the best/worst guardian figure ever . nanako gets a bf in the future and reader casually asks if she’d like them to kill him after they break up <3333 (which isn’t. that different from suguru’s response lmao)

I’M JUST . thinking …. about them …….. maybe one day i’ll actually write this fic instead of daydreaming about it 😭😭😭 i love my bitter reader so bad!!!

#they love their kids <33333 at least three of them #the gumi/reader dynamic is actually so sick and twisted bc megumi has NO idea why they hate him so much .#and reader is just . on the brink of a panic attack anytime he says or does anything even remotely similar to toji #satoru didn’t kill toji in this au btw <33 he got away after killing riko #and then suguru killed him years later #so when reader is forced into being a teacher and meet megumi i think they have a moment of pure Panic where they assume toji is there too…#they’re a sad pathetic little meowmeow :((((#i’m contantly thinking about them being with nobara and yuji and feeling so nostalgic though :’3 #wahhh … i love them #ari noises ✩#curse user!reader <33

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pearl-blue-musings · 1 year

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I’m being petty so here’s something I wrote very quickly and is garbage

Pairing: poly Sumeru men x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+, internet bullying, mean behavior, death threats, fingering, cunninlingus, me being a petty bitch 😅🙈

You shut your laptop and take a deep breath. Being a scholar with a hobby of writing for fun was starting to take a toll on you. Since you had reached a certain age, anonymous haters have been growing steadily and have gotten more brave and harmful. You hadn’t wanted this to bleed into your professional and romantic life but it was starting to.

Alhaitham had found you poured over your laptop, agitation seeping through your bones. He doesn’t try to interfere in your life, wanting you to come to him when you need it. But lately, he’s found you more stressed than ever. And since your laptop was password protected, he couldn’t pry into your world to figure out how to help you.

Kaveh noticed you would barely leave your room in their place and if you did, you would have bags under your eyes. He’d leave you little kisses on your cheek which you would only hum to, barely reacting. Kaveh did everything he could to get you to open up but Alhaitham just told him to leave you alone until you were ready. “But, but she needs us!”

“We can’t help her if she doesn’t want us to.”

Tighnari would bring you flowers and herbs to liven up your office space and desk. He did his best to support you but nudging you to eat was starting to bother him. “You’ve gotta eat something, you know we hate seeing you like this… you’re not rejecting my cooking are you?” You would widen your eyes and try to eat as much as you could despite your brain fighting you at every turn. His ears droop at the sight of you returning to your room with less and less pep in your step.

Cyno couldn’t stand it. He saw their attempts were futile and decided to take things into his hands. He gathers all of your boyfriends together. He made sure Tighnari left the forest rangers with a capable leader, Alhaitham would have time off, and Kaveh wasn’t at the tavern. As of now, you locked yourself in Alhaitham’s home office and the men can hear you sobbing. How did things get to this point? Why weren’t you reaching out to them? It couldn’t have been your studies, your research has changed things in the akademiya so it can’t be that. “We could break down the door.”

“Do you have any idea how much that would cost?! I worked hard on that,” Kaveh retaliates. Alhaitham rolls his eyes along with Tighnari as they both head toward the door. Tighnari fiddles with the lock on the door and figures out how to unlock the door. The four men stumble in to see you curled in on yourself, laptop open and shining at your form. Tighnari immediately hugs and cuddles you, wiping away your tears as he holds you. Kaveh crawls up to your other side and rests there with his thumb running along your palm. “It’s gonna be okay, we’re here.”

Alhaitham and Cyno immediately rush to the open laptop, anxiety and excitement overcoming them. Excitement to finally see what you’re hiding from them, but anxiety at what it could be. The first thing they notice are your papers with files and all evidence regarding your research. As much as they wanna see what lecture you’re working on now, they know that isn’t what is causing you to be like this. The swipe to find some open internet tabs and see something surprising.

A writing account? You write? For entertainment? They would have never guessed that. And as they inspect, they see that you’ve gotten a lot of love and respect and they’re secretly proud. They ignore your pleads to ignore what else is there but the scholar and general ignore you and go to your profile. Cyno stops scrolling when he sees your inbox full of anonymous messages. Some of them are nice, complimenting your work and wanting to be your friend. But the ones that are unanswered have the two men seeing red.

“Hey,” Cyno starts, “Kaveh, Tighnari you need to see this.”

“Wait,” you plead, “don’t look at those! I-I can handle it! It’s just a few bad messages! A-and shouldn’t you be upset that I’m writing for fun? And it’s romantic and fictional a-and-“

“Darling,” Alhaitham’s hiss of the pet name silences anything else you have to say. “How long have you been receiving death threats?” His eyes zero in on you with concern and anger. His fist is clenched tight as you notice the other guys as well. Tighnari’s tail is stiff as he reads on, Kaveh’s breathing is shallow, and Cyno mumbles under his breath about investigating and bringing out his best men. You bite your lip to hold back tears that fall anyways. You shake your head as you feel your voice tremble and whimper.

“I,” you start. “I mean, I’ve gotten bad messages for years since I turned 25 but once I got older and since my birthday was a few months ago um… 2-3 years? The worst if it began 6 months ago…”

The four men look between each other and realize your behaviors. Six months ago was when your lectures and public appearances became more scarce and your personality had changed. It was all making sense.

Kaveh is the first to end the stillness. “That’s such bullshit!” He punches the wall and walks out of the room. The other three are equally angry and seething, Alhaitham doing everything in his power not to throw your laptop against the wall. Tighnari furrows his eyebrows and picks you up bridal style, adorning your face with comforting kisses and whispering affirmations. Cyno and Alhaitham shut your laptop down, walking out to sit on the couch. Kaveh is pacing in the living room and you and Tighnari are nowhere to be seen. The blond mumbles under his breath furiously until he notices the stoic men staring at him. “Do the two of you cavemen have any ideas? Why are you staring at me?!”

“We’re angry too, Kaveh,” Cyno responds. “We’re trying to figure out what to do.” His voice seems reassuring, but what’s scary is Alhaitham’s silence. It’s calculating and intimidating. Who knows what he’s thinking. The gray haired man in question pushes himself up off the couch and moves to his room, assuming that’s where you and Tighnari are. A softened yell of “hey” from the fox-like man alerts the other two men to enter the room.

“Just what the hell-“

“What is going on in-“

Cyno and Kaveh stop in their tracks when they see Tighnari standing near the bed while Alhaitham presses you into the mattress. Your hands are held above your head so you’re forced to stare into his eyes. “If you are struggling, we are here for you. If someone is making you feel uncomfortable, we are here for you. How are we supposed to be your lovers and support you if you keep things like this from us?” Your lip trembles as you struggle for an answer.

“Hey, Haitham,” Tighnari chides, “loosen up.”

“No I will not. She’s clearly upset, struggling, and dying on the inside and we had no idea. I can’t think a way out of it if all the evidence and problems are hidden from us.” You’re then shocked to feel a tear on your cheek that isn’t yours. Alhaitham is crying? “If I don’t know what’s going on with you, I can’t help you, you idiot!” He leans in to kiss your lips with the most passion you’ve ever felt from him. “Don’t scare me like that. Well, don’t scare us like that.”

You tenderly meet his gaze and cry once more, nodding your head. His grip loosens as he continues to straddle your waist to calm his breathing as he sits up. The other three men in the room are frozen in awe as the usually unemotional scribe puts his feelings out in the world. You feel the bed dip as Tighnari sits beside you and kisses your cheek and trails to your lips. “We love you so much, sunflower. How can we make you feel better?”

“Tighnari,” Cyno asks, “shouldn’t we be asking how long this has been going on?” Kaveh catches on to what the forest ranger is insisting and shakes his head. The blond smiles softly and moves to undress you, coming up behind Alhaitham. Your body seems more relaxed as Alhaitham moves to the side and lets Kaveh hover over you.

“Baby girl,” Kaveh whispers into your inner thigh, “let us figure out what to do later. Right now, we want to rid you of those terrible thoughts.” The cool air meets your skin as your bottoms are removed. He softly kisses your bare thigh and meets green eyes. “Right, Tighnari?”

The two men share a chuckle as he caresses your cheek and slots his lips against yours. “We can work through emotions later. Right now, we have to show our love how much we love you.”

Alhaitham nods and plays with the fabric at the bottom of your shirt, flirting with the skin there. You squirm from the sudden attention as he runs his hand up your chest. “You do know all the words they said aren’t true, right? You’ve only gotten better with age.” His breath tickles your ear. “Your beauty,” he kisses the corner of your mouth, “your brain,” he kisses your neck, “all of you… have all gotten better with age.” You hear hums of accordance around you before your breath hitches in your throat.

“I second about your beauty,” Kaveh comments, “your body is a work of art to behold.” He slides your panties off and licks his lips. “Archons, I love your pussy.” His hands push your thighs apart and jots his tongue out to lick your heat. Your whimper is silenced by Tighnari’s lips as his tongue explores inside your mouth. His hand cups your chin and tugs you closer. The man maneuvers behind you, giving Kaveh and Alhaitham more access to your body. The blond nods in appreciation as he sinks his face further into your pussy, humming in ecstasy. “You taste,” he gives your lower lips a kiss, “so good.”

Alhaitham rolls his eyes at the emotional blond, running his hand up your chest to pinch your nipple. Your head falls back, breaking the kiss with Tighnari. The other man squints his eyes at the scribe, “wow thanks,” as Alhaitham lifts your shirt and sucks on your breast. His free hand kneads your other breast and groans into your skin. Cyno still stands in the corner, his breathing turning to panting as the bulge in his uniform grows. His crossed arms fall as he finds his way next to Kaveh, smacking the blond on his ass. Kaveh yelps, and scoots over for the general. You meet his intense ruby stare as his fingers mess with your folds. “Is this what you need, princess? To be taken care of like this?” His face drops as he sinks his fingers inside you. Tighnari and Alhaitham hold you down, watching Cyno flick his tongue over your clit. His eyes never leave yours, making sure to watch your every expression. Is this what you want? Is this all you think about? Sex and work? Then fine, he was going to give it to you. They all were.

Tighnari ruts his hips into your side, suckling your ear. His featherlight touches across your stomach make your abs contract. The fleeting touch has your hips writhing in pleasure from your boyfriends treating your body right. The two men in between your legs trail kisses along your inner thigh and on your pussy, the coil inside you begging to be unwound. The other two at your upper half fondle your breasts, kissing your neck and lips leaving you no chance to breathe. Your nipples are pert from wandering fingers and bites, your cries muffled by Alhaitham’s swollen lips, his groans spurring you on more.

With all the attention on you, you cum hard with their names tumbling off your lips. The men around you help you ride out your high as your back arches off the bed, their warm touch sensual yet comforting all at once. Alhaitham is the first to speak. “Don’t ever scare us like that again. Or else we will have to punish you.”

“Are you really threatening her right now? Really,” Kaveh rolls his eyes and gives you one more kiss to your thigh before standing up. Cyno gently removes his fingers and closes your legs, giving you a rare yet warm smile. Tighnari is the only one that stays by your side in bed, knowing how clingy you get after an orgasm. He kisses your forehead over and over, whispering that you’re okay and he loves you. Alhaitham takes your clothes off the bed while Kaveh and Cyno help with clean up and getting you snacks.

“Hey, baby girl, eat this okay?” Kaveh hands you some pudding and you take a spoonful. His hand rubs your leg as you lay more into Tighnari. Cyno sits at the edge of the bed and takes a deep breath. Alhaitham stands against the wall with a book in his hands already.

“So,” Cyno begins, “I think Alhaitham figured out how to find those terrible internet people. We’ll surf the web and capture them.”

You feel Tighnari groan in your ear and everyone else has the same sentiments as a giggle finally comes to you. Alhaitham smiles lightly at hearing your laugh, something he hasn’t realized he’s missed these last few months. Kaveh snuggles into your other side with a chuckle and kiss. “Then why don’t you two smarty pants figure that out and we’ll let our love rest okay? We can finish up later.”

In the end they find the bad people and make them suffer and you and your boyfriends live happily ever after.

The fucking end.

@unknownspecies

#alhaitham x fem!reader #genshin impact x female reader #kaveh x fem!reader #cyno x fem!reader #tighnari x female reader #poly sumeru men #my writing #i did the thing

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ilovepannacotta · 7 months

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Manga def gave me a much higher appreciation of Izumi than brotherhood did because like? watching brotherhood and she showed back up again after a long time and I remember being like “I feel like this is supposed to be more important than this is coming off as, but I guess it’s nice to see you again Izumi??” Although I was definitely always on the lookout for when ling would finally pop back up. I declared him my fave the literal episode before he became greed so I was Starved for a while 😭

03 though… I’m not a hater of 03, I can appreciate what they did and how they did it with what little they had to go on at the time, but it’s just not the right vibes for me to sit down and watch (and not just because ling isn’t in it). I did read a synopsis of the story though, and it definitely did some things very interestingly and I kind of find it like some fascinating case study!! A sort of darkest timeline case study. I probably would’ve had a deeper appreciation for Izumi if I had watched 03, but I also think it was Foolish of studio bones to just assume people who were watching brotherhood watched 03 or wanted to watch 03.

First, I want to apologize for the late reply 😔

I completely agree with you. Izumi in Brotherhood feels just...not important??? I mean, I love that woman but they did a terrible job trying to make her relationship with the Elric Brothers some kind of found family idk how to explain it, maybe I need to finish my re-watch but I think they could do more with them because it is really sad how distant they are in Brotherhood compared with fma03 or the manga as you said. AND YESS I was like you, reaching for more a more of Ling's scenes and they give me ✨ nothing ✨ after the GreedLing introduction.

Fun fact: I hated Ling the exact moment the appeared on screen for the first time, but then when he fought with Bradley I was like "Oh man, he is such a great character!!!" AND BOM, GREED TOOK HIS BODY AND DISAPPEARED?!!!

And about fma03, I understand you. I mean, I prefer the original plot, the characters in the mangahood (Ling and Van Hohenheim) and I prefer the homunculi and Father as villains than Dante. I watched first 2003 because I thought Brotherhood was a second season and when I started it I was so f confused. I like to think that fma2003 is a what if or an AU fic, so I can enjoy both of them (or three counting the manga). But yeah, there are some things that they included in fma03 but were removed in Brotherhood and I don't understand why they thought it was a good idea.

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thedailybullshit · 2 years

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RDR2 Incorrect Quotes pt. 34

Arthur: You’re acting like a child, John.

John: I AIN’T ACTING.

1886:

Dutch: I mean, small animals are way more vicious. It’s because their anger has less space to be contained.

Susan: That’s ridiculous. Give me one example of this.

Dutch: Wasps.

Bessie: Spiders.

Hosea: Terriers.

Arthur: John.

John:

After The Kiss:

Arthur: If you do that again, I will not hesitate to throw you out that windo- what are you doing?

Charles Chatenay: Checking how high the drop is to see if it’s worth it.

Sean: If tomatoes are fruits, isn’t ketchup just a tomato smoothie?

Lenny: It’s jam, I love you but I’m too tired for this shit, please go back to sleep.

Annabelle: All the haters being like, “Aren’t you wanted by the state?” It’s like, I’m wanted by a lot of people, okay? That’s the price of being pretty.

Annabelle: Anyways, I did commit a smidge of treason.

Abigail: *handing Arthur a coffee* Remember: more espresso, less depresso.

Arthur: *drinks it*

Arthur: I’m still depressed, but now I’m FAST.

Abigail: Are you ready to commit?

John: Like a crime or to a relationship?

Sean: I’m a hundred and forty-seven pounds of pale skin and fragile bone, okay? Sarcasm is my only defense!

Hosea: I’m Hosea Motherfucking Matthews, I fear nothing.

Dutch: I have a plan!

Hosea: I have one fear.

Bounty Hunter: I’ll put so many bullets in your head, God won’t even recognize you.

Arthur: I’m an atheist; fire at will.

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phightinghottakes · 3 months

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broker seems like a literal self insert for soda

Absolutely.

And this is also absolutely me jumping at the opportunity to hate on Broker.

I HATE Broker with every bone in my body. I never knew the writing of something could make me hate a character so much without it being an intentional part of the writing.

Come back when your personality isn’t an insult to my boys Spamton and Jevil, you rip-off Deltarune secret boss OC. And pass Scythe some of the lore cards so she has something to do besides be involved in a stupid cult.

The fact that Broker knows everything about everyone and Scythe doesn’t infuriates me. I get he’s probably the type to be a stalker of sorts but there’s no way he’d stalk the Phighters all the way into their factions just to get that juicy lore, or hold a conversation long enough to get info out of people.

I guarantee he just knows that stuff because he’s one of Soda’s special snowflakes and because of that he naturally has knowledge on everything in existence so that he’s an integral part to the story.

Hate him. I hope he explodes.

Sincerely, Broker’s #1 hater.

#phighting hot takes #phighting!#phighting roblox #roblox phighting #phighting #hot take #✨ mod siakit ✨#the broker phighting #broker phighting #cult mention #the broker haterclub

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joyswonderland1108 · 1 year

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Scooter boy.

Okay so by now it would be awkward if the title gave the impression that i’m a fan of his. As i said yesterday, well, few hours ago, i would explain why Scooter should just shut the fuck up.

So we already know that people can’t stand him, that boy as bestie said, makes Charles look more tolerable, he’s shady, not friendly looking, whatever you want but that isn’t all. Besides the fact that this man seems to have a bone to pick with Jimin but that’s not the issue here.

Remember when he was in a way hinting to JK being in Coachella and you’d think that him being the Ceo of Hybe America that would mean that JK would be performing, people were already side eyeing him because of that, because also, as the damn Ceo you have no business hinting at one of your artists being in the attendance.

Now remember when these pictures dropped?

(I have half a mind to crop him out of the pictures istg)

You know what haters were saying? Haters INSIDE the fandom and outside of it as well, that JK was the company’s puppy, the company’s favorite and other more viles things that aren’t welcome in this household. Why? Because not only Bang PD was there (Which is very normal, as he should really) but also because Scooter boy had to shove his ass in there too. Now does that mean he likes JK?

But again that’s still not the point we know he’s money thirsty so Army already never really expected him to like our boys or care for them on that level. Now you would say that he hyped up Yoongi on Billboard 200 and Jimin for his #1 on Billboard 100 (After he has been eaten alive by Army and also didn’t even hype up official posts but okay) BUT those were after the releases and after these boys have been sabotaged left and right, Jimin more so but still. Now reason why i said this bitch boy is setting JK up is because the single isn’t even released yet, we still have no idea what to expect and man is already over here hyping it up.

You know what’s actually good but still is making the situation even worse? Seems like the single will get radio play as it has been hyped up by a radio host as well. Let’s go back to the pictures above and what JK has been called because of that, does something click in your mind? We Army are already very proud of our boys for their achievements, organic and raw achievements that is, they did that with no moula and i’ll be honest with you but we do like to flaunt that, we are proud of our boys and we like to let the world know that they did THAT!

But you see the problem here? Everybody is already at our boys necks waiting for an opportunity to drag them into the mud. They’ve already accused Army of manipulating the sales or whatever for FACE and D-day, refused to believe that Yoongi and Jimin were able to make it through hard work and a devoted fandom, they’re waiting for an opportunity to say that something is rigged, something is shady about that, yada yada.

Jungkook is more than capable of achieving phenomenal numbers and break the charts too, but since that Scooter boy can’t shut his butthole up, no matter the hard work JK is putting up on his own mfrs will open their shit holes to say that Scooter had a hand in that, that he has been doing some shady business to make JK break records. As i was discussing this with my friends yesterday, bestie informed me that people were already at it actually, Swifters were waiting for an occasion to do that because they too have a bone to pick with Scooter and instead of targeting HIM they’re targeting JK.

Wanna know what else is not helping this situation at all? The fact that just very recently “Cupid” turned out to not be a song that has been organically growing and hyped up the way everybody thought. At least Scooter boy could’ve faked his support to other members as well just to keep up a façade and save our boys from accusations, because at the end of the day, that mfr won’t face hate but JK will do in his stead.

I swear every time i try to be excited about Seven something comes up and ruins the mood, like damn wtf?? Can y’all let our boy have a peaceful release? Everything is just so infuriating i swear..

#Seven is coming!!!#Scooter just please stfu

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red-black-aesthetic-bout · 1 year

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Round 2: Match 29

Lord Hater (Wander Over Yonder) vs. Vash the Stampede (Trigun 98/Trigun Maximum)

Lord Hater

- Once the most feared villain in the galaxy due to his sick lightning powers and (his second-in-command’s) military prowess, this large electrical skeleton man has been pulled away from conquering planets and into a roadrunner-&-coyote-esque series of hijinks with the protagonist Wander, who is absolutely determined to turn him into a good guy. A villain isn’t a villain without some style, and not only is his outfit red and black (he even has a sparkly version for special occasions!), but his bigger-on-the-inside skull spaceship interior, his adorable army’s uniform and weapons, and his xenomorph-spider pet are also all red and black. This guy knows how to rock an aesthetic! He’s also a loser manchild who doesn’t have a humble bone in his body, but hey, he’s working on it. (Unwillingly.)

Vash the Stampede

- VASH THE STAMPEDE MY BESTFRIEND VASH THE STAMPEDE :] If I actually enumerated everything that makes me insane about him we’d be here for hours so I will simply say: extremely strong contender for Most tortured sillyguy I’ve ever laid eyes on and he just means So Much to me♡ Best red/black aesthetics are in trigun maximum imo but all versions of him are wonderful thank you for the consideration mwah - Vash is a weird alien plant thing that helps people vigilante style, but he kinda sucks at it so ended being labeled as a major criminal instead, also he has a twin brother who wants to annihilate the human race and vash tries really hard to stop him because he love humans

mod notes: I did not expect wander over yonder to have this many fans ngl

#lord hater #wander over yonder #vash the stampede #trigun #trigun maximum #redblack tournament #round 2

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noeffingbody · 5 months

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Part 2: The Cage

But Daddy I Love Him - You can’t have a forbidden romance without the obstacle. In this case, it’s not a jealous husband or a scorned ex. It’s people in the cheap seats saying, “so did you hear…?” in between sets. For the first time, I think ever, has Taylor taken aim at people who are not haters, not casual listeners, but people who claim to intimately KNOW her, and also claim to know what’s best for her. I love the conceit of the song being that it’s sort of an evolved love story. The “daddy” isn’t some evil tyrant king mad on power, it’s the people who claim they have a very special connection with Taylor. People who claim they’ve made her, they grew up with her. They become stand-in parents who tragically can’t let her go. Despite it all, there’s a kind of joy and teenage rebellion to this song. It feels like a celebration of her personal freedom, part of the joy comes from doing exactly what she wants but also because there is a kind of satisfaction watching people who think they have control realize they actually…don’t.

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? - It’s no wonder Taylor released this in the middle of a gigantic tour where her every move is dissected, analyzed, characterized, judged. She has always played around with the idea of being torn apart, and accepted it as a natural hazard of her job—she has no way to control it so might as well resign herself. In this song, though, she is livid. It’s a howling rage running through the chorus of this song. What if I crash all of your parties and let me hear you say those things again to my face? Would you be scared? Would you dare to repeat yourselves? And who are you if not the people who came up with the hoops I have to jump through in the first place? Doesn’t that make me fearsome because I aced all those terrible tests you personally devised just for me? Again, this is a song aimed at a subject which seems to be people who claim to care deeply about her. They’re coming to watch the show, after all. But just know, she’s judging you as well, she’s going to come right back no matter how many times you try to hang her.

How Did It End? - Imagine a somber time in your life, maybe a death, maybe a loss of some kind...a serious situation where the mood is low and maybe you deserve some space and privacy. Instead, you have gossip-mongers circling this death like vultures in the sky, ready to descend on the body of whatever has died. In this song, the death is of a relationship. That's not the tragic part, though. The tragedy is that people must search for any scraps of meat and bones to pull apart and dissect. I do remember when the news of joever reached tumblr, and it became an almost joyous occasion. Inboxes were overflowing, discussion was at a fever pitch, and there was renewed interest in parsing Taylor's facial features for any hint of a stray tear. This isn't a call-out for any one specific person, I was also engaged in it. In hindsight, it was pretty nauseating that something so personal to her, could become such a wide-ranging topic of discussion. It does come with the territory of being such a huge celebrity, you provide entertainment via your public life. But whose humanity is really being lost in that process? Hers or ours?

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart - This is arguably the best "caged" song. It outlines the parameters of her job--be OKAY above all else. You could be dying, you could be depressed, you could be broken and alone, but you've got to slap a smile on your face and perform. Whether it's in front of a dining room with your extended family who can't fucking mind their own business, or a sold-out stadium tour filled with fans who celebrated your latest breakup, there is a particular art involved in being a woman and being so good at hiding your emotions that you've turned it into a career. Imagine Bree Van Decamp from Desperate Housewives sobbing her eyes out in the bathroom, only to emerge three minutes later without a hair out of place and a serene smile on her face holding the most beautifully arranged bouquet of flowers. It's jarring, it's weird, it's...a woman.

I Hate It Here - What if I lived in a different time? What if I had a different career? Would it be better? Nope, nope, and nope. At least, those are the answers this song gives us. It does seem a very modern, but simultaneously timeless, sensibility that has you trapped in a very very particular life. There's no deserting, there's no escaping, there's no relief. It's just day after day of being you. In your body. In your town. So what do you do? You escape into the recesses of your mind, of course. Anything is possible there, you've morphed into the stories of a million different people simultaneously. You are in the secret garden, you're in a lunar valley, you're happy, you're in love, you're safe and beyond reproach. And, most importantly, none of these other people have any part in it. They can't watch you, they can't hold you, they can't touch you.

Florida!!! - You can't talk about feeling trapped without also talking about escape. Apparently our narrator feels like her escape is Florida. It's swampy, it's low, it's barely tethered to reality. I can see the appeal. I do think the song speaks to a specific moment in time, when you don't just need a bender or a vacation, you need, like, extensive healing and unimpeded time to yourself. You need to not be hounded by your mistakes, and big neon signs flashing your name all the time. You don't need to be surrounded by your friends who are happily married with kids, OR friends who are living in their own personal neverland. You need escape from the times, the life you've led, the people you've known who just won't leave you alone. Who are coming to get you after every minor change in your life, so that there's nothing you can do which doesn't make you feel like a fucking criminal. To be so hunted, no wonder she wants to go to Florida of all places.

#ttpd-ta-ta

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