#this isn’t really about tickles but it can be used in a tickle context because like

[galacticlee3]

to me

physical affection is a gift

in many ways it’s a form of love, comfort, companionship, and a show of heart

to some it’s an afterthought

and in others

it’s what they crave and seek

whether platonic or romantic, physical affection is something I measure love by, both in the amounts that I give and the amounts that I receive

and it’s very hard for me to seperate that affection from love and compassion

in many ways, the touch of another conveys so much more than words ever can

when words do not reach my ears or touch my heart, a hug, an embrace, holding hands, laying on someone’s shoulder

those all keep me at bay

hold me at peace

it’s something I will always cherish and something I will always yearn for

[f1-stuff]

White Lotus AU ❤️ i am so excited for this!

Why, thank you for asking, kaleigh 😆❤️ I realized that I'd already shared a snippet of it before (here), so I'll share a diff moment... -> WIP game

(Context: This scene takes place after Carlos' wife had bragged at breakfast about how Carlos likes sex after his morning runs 😅. 'Ava' is Carlos' wife, and 'Juliette' is Charles' fiancée. Obv, this fic will contain infidelity, so here's your warning!)

Carlos brings it up again later that day, when Ava and Juliette have gone for a swim, leaving the two of them alone, lounging in their beach chairs.

“You and Juliette seem like a good match,” he starts with. And Charles looks at him, wondering what this is actually about.

“...we are,” he says, his voice hesitant.

“No really,” Carlos says. “You’re both very...relaxed. Settled.” He’s smirking again. “Is that what the sex is like, also?”

Charles jerks his gaze away, cheeks flaming. Will this guy ever stop proving that he’s an asshole?

“That’s a personal question,” he says, his voice hard.

“Is it?” Carlos asks. And Charles looks at him again, hears the genuine questioning note in his voice. 

“Yes,” Charles says, firmly. “It’s private.”

“I’m just asking if it is leisurely or passionate-”

“Sex doesn’t have to be frantic a-and wild and...loud to be passionate,” Charles says, his voice getting a bit more heated than he intends. Carlos must hear something in his words, because his brows raise.

“Ah. Let me guess - you’ve heard us at night. Me and Ava.”

Charles scoffs, looking away as he shakes his head. “I think the whole hotel can hear you two.” He doesn’t look to see Carlos’ smug expression, but he doesn’t have to see it to know it’s there. “It isn’t something to be proud of.”

“No?” Carlos asks, intrigued. Charles sighs, tired of this conversation and tired of this man.

“No. It’s very rude, actually.”

“Rude?”

“Yes,” Charles says, tired of Carlos just repeating what he says. “Inconsiderate - of everyone else and their...sleep.”

It’s too late for him to take it back, even as he glances to see Carlos’ slow-dawning smile.

“So you were sleeping when you heard us?”

“No-”

“Awake?”

“It doesn’t matter!” Charles says, exasperated. No matter what he says, Carlos will find a way to twist it. “Can we finish this topic?”

“Okay,” Carlos says, sounding like he couldn’t care less. Charles hates him. “You are getting sunburned.”

He sighs, turning his head to look at Carlos full on. The other man’s sunglasses are too small for his face and Charles is quietly delighted by it - delighted to find at least one thing that isn’t perfect. 

Carlos arches a brow at him, until Charles breaks, sitting up to find the sunblock in Juliette’s bag and reapply. He feels Carlos’ eyes on him as he rubs over his chest and arms, but he ignores it as best he can, despite the way his neck feels hot. He’s done everywhere except his back, when Carlos unceremoniously takes the bottle from his hand, squeezing some into his own palm, and not even asking before he starts applying it to Charles’ back.

Charles sits frozen, his breath stuttering uncertainly in his chest as he bears the feeling of Carlos’ hands on him. At first, he can almost explain it away as a friendly, normal thing, just like one of Charles’ mates from home would do. But it quickly becomes something else when Carlos begins to add pressure, his thumbs massaging into the muscles of Charles’ back, starting high at the base of his neck and getting lower and lower and lower, the sun lotion making every touch a smooth glide. 

Charles becomes all too aware of the heat of Carlos’ body behind him, his breath puffing steadily in and out from his nose. Thumbs mark a startling path along Charles’ spine, digging beneath his shoulder blades, tickling the ribs at his sides, pressing into the dimples at his back just above his waistline...

“I’m going for a swim,” Charles says, suddenly, his voice choked. He gets up without looking back, Carlos’ touch falling away all at once.

The water feels especially cold, his skin overheated and his heart pounding in his chest. He dunks himself under as soon as he can, his teeth chattering slightly when he resurfaces.

What the hell was that?

[flutteringphalanges]

My Girl

Adam Warlock x Star Lord!Sister Reader

Prompt: You and Adam enjoy a quiet moment as parents with your baby. (Lots of fluff and some romance)

Words: 867

A/N: Hello! Today I wanted to write something short and sweet so have some dad!Adam and mom!Reader. I just wanted to add real quick that you don’t need to have read any of my other one shots to know what is going on. They basically can be as read as stand alone. The daughter is named Aydith after Adam’s mom, Ayesha, and Peter Quill’s (and the reader’s) mom, Meredith. Hence the name haha! Here is the LINK to all the one shots in the series if you’d like to check them out! Requests are open! Thank you all so much! I hope you enjoy! Also I may do one for Father’s Day but I am not sure. It is started though. -Jen

                                                  My Girl

Out of context, telling someone that the man you loved had fallen head over heels for another girl would’ve surely sounded downright horrible. But that was far from the truth. In fact, you couldn’t be more over the moon about it. The moment your daughter had come into the world, the moment Adam’s eyes landed on his child, it was as if nothing else mattered. You both were his universe--you, the moon, and she, the sun. Adam had fallen in love again, but so had you. 

“Why thank you, I shall treasure this dearly.” 

You leaned against the door frame, your mouth curved into a small smile as you watched Adam cheerfully accept the wooden spoon your ten month old daughter, Aydith, held out to him in earnest. You were exactly sure where the two of them had managed to collect such an odd assortment of things, but you were happy they were enjoying themselves. Her nose crinkled up as she giggled, her chubby fist holding a twig towards him. Groot’s? 

“It is very lovely. Finer than any branch on Sovereign. Perhaps we should display it in the house. Isn’t that right, Mama?” Adam looked over to you, motioning to the stick. “What say you? Is this not the most impressive piece of wood you’ve ever seen?” 

“Positively stunning.” You chuckled, making your way over to their side. Aydith squealed as you leaned down to kiss Adam before turning your attention on her. “You have quite a collection here, sunshine. Must be that pinch of Ravanger in you.” You tickled her, the baby breaking out into a fit of giggles. “Where did this come from?” 

“Oh, just here and there. Anything that really piqued our interest--or, rather, hers. She has quite the taste for things.” Adam explained, both of you watching Aydith as she retrieved a purple shell from her pile. Must’ve been something Phyla had given her. “Not too sure what we will do with all of it once we’re done.” 

Your daughter waved the shell in the air, blowing tiny spit bubbles as she let it fall. Without hesitation, you watch as she began to float into the air. Even though you’d had weeks to get used to this new found power of hers, your heart still leaped out of your chest each time. Adam, however, didn’t even blink as he casually reached up and brought her back down, settling her in his lap. Aydith frowned. 

“You know I’m not against Rocket making those gravity boots he offered to design for us for her.” Adam said, holding onto the little girl as she wiggled in his grasp. “I know it would bring you a lot of comfort knowing she was on the ground.” 

“I know.” You sighed softly. “But I don’t want us to treat her powers like they are a burden or something.” Even though the thought had crossed your mind more than once. “I just…I just want her to be safe, that’s all.” 

Both of you fell silent for a moment. Eventually, Aydith seemed to lose interest in trying to fly, earning her the right to freedom from her father’s lap. She crawled her way over to her pile, plopping down before it with a smile. You felt Adam’s hand rest on yours, and you interlock your fingers. Looking over at him, you noticed the way he gazed at you with his golden eyes. A stare you knew that one day would gross your daughter out because her parents had that ‘yucky lovey dovey’ look on your faces.

“What?” You felt the heat rising to your cheeks as you fought to keep a straight face. 

“Just admiring your beauty.” Adam admitted, obviously amused with your reaction. “Have I ever told you how absolutely radiant you are, Y/N?” 

Countless times. In every single language. Verbally and physically. Sometimes you wondered if that was all Adam could ever say. Just like a broken record. And by Gods would you be lying if you said you didn’t love it. 

“I don’t know.” You feigned innocently, shrugging your shoulders. “My memory can be quite vague at times. I could use some reminding…” 

Adam smirked before leaning over to kiss you. Heat began to pool in your stomach when his lips touched yours. It was so easy to get lost in the moment, savoring the intimacy you both craved. It was the blown up, plastic ball that hit your knee that caused you to break apart. Your daughter was staring at you both, her head slightly cocked to the side. 

“Later.” You murmured, your grin sly. “When she goes down for her nap.”

“Is that a promise, Y/N?” Adam whispered, lust in his eyes. 

“A guarantee.” You pressed your index finger to his lips. “It’ll be worth it.” 

Aydith let out a shrill cry as if demanding that all attention be redirected at her. You chuckled softly, still holding onto Adam’s hand as you scooted closer to the baby. Adam’s love for you was Aydith. What had come of it all. Seeing her, watching her, your daughter’s existence screamed it. You smiled, feeling Adam’s fingers tighten as your child played before you. She was the sun.

[katatty]

Sims Say the Darnest Things: When you get this, list five of your characters and their best quotes so far. Then pass it on to five other storytelling simblrs.

Aw man, this is a fun one! I've been writing stupid stuff for my sims to say for so long it's hard to think of a top 5, but definitely have some funny moments I'd like to reminice on :)

“Who cares about work? Money isn’t everything, Raye!” “I’m just not sure I’m responsible enough for this. I feel like a kid myself half the time!” “Well, better grow up fast, because I’m keeping the baby! Bleh!!”

This line from Emmie is iconic to me and kind of sums up both the good and bad in her character! She's enthusiastic, chirpy and always ready to jump into stuff but can be kinda selfish/thoughtless with like, poor boundaries lmao. It also always makes me giggle adding "Bleh!!" to the end of her lines idk

Bella: Cassandra! Oh my, are you all right? Cassandra: I’m fine, Mom. Bella: You’re having a mental breakdown on our back porch!

idk this is just funny to me bc Bella is half concerned for Cassandra and half worried that Cassie is bringing down the vibe at her fabulous dinner party lol

Camellia: I keep thinking I’ve forgotten something!  Lori: Cami, I feel like that almost all the time. Nine out of ten times it’s nothing important!

I'm realising going though these most of them aren't even particualrly "great quotes" they're just things I found funny to write, haha. My way of escaping the "5 characters" thing by making them all require context or somehting. idk! RIP to Orion

Lilith: Since when you do you cook, anyway? Ashley: I’m teaching myself. It’s called having a growth mindset, you should try it. Lilith: Hey, I’m all about personal growth. You know I achieved lifetime happiness this week? Ashley: Our date was that good, huh?

Ashley & Lilith's unhealthy-ass relationship banter is always so fun to write, I really miss them! I really like having sims actually mention, like, game mechanics? Lilith saying "I achieved lifetime happiness this week" just tickles me. tbh i also think "it's called having a growth mindset" is really funny, really fits ashley's self-improvement-reddit-guy vibe

ok and my all time favourite scene/quote is this ripp moment idk this was 5 years ago but i still laugh thinking about it it was so unhinged

“So this makes us and the twins, what? Step-siblings? That’s hot.” “You are such a pig, Ripp!” Lilith kicked him under the table. “I’m gonna kill you.” “Chill out, Tank! It’s not like it’s real incest! You and Angela can keep fucking if you really want to.”

like most inappropriate and gross comments of all time????????? lmao. very sad that Ripp has grown as a person I miss writing him as an immature dickhead lol

ANYWAY thank u for sending this, it was really fun & nostalgic and has me really wanting to actually write posts again, maybe I will queue some up :)

tagging @potential-fate, @moocha-muses, @dunne-ias, @antisocialbunnysims & @rurpleplaysmuttingtonac if any of you fancy doing this :)

[amazingmsme]

For the alphabet thing! Your thoughts on any or all of F, I, K, L, Q, R, W, X for our Bonesey? Thank u <3

Thank you, these were so fun! If anyone else wants to send these in, I’d still be down👀

F: Fight | What is their behavior in a tickle fight like?

Teasy as all fuck, he has a real dry & gruff tone that is perfect to taunt his lee. He attacks quickly & with precision only a doctor could have. He knows all the crew’s worst spots from their checkups & tickle fights are like the only time he’ll abuse that knowledge

I: Interrogation | How well would they handle a tickle interrogation?

He’d throw such a big hissy fit about it because he’s so dramatic. He tries his best to hold out until help arrives but he’s real grumpy afterwards lol

K: Killer Move | As a ler, do they have special skills to use against their lees and drive them crazy with?

He loves to do that thing doctors are known for by pressing into your tummy, except he purposefully wiggles his fingers to make it tickle more. He will even do this during checkups on his friends if they’ve been acting really annoying or sad lately. But his other move is raspberries because he knows his scruff is ticklish as hell (Jim’s told him so many times & Chekov agrees wholeheartedly)

L: Laughter | What does their laughter sound like when they are tickled?

His laugh is so fucking cute ok I’m in love. He has these deep rumbly chuckles that can get higher pitched if you get the right spots, but for the most part he’s got a deep belly laugh that just sounds so full

Q: Question | Their response to the question ‘are you ticklish’?

He flinches but adamantly insists he isn’t. If you act like you’re about to get him anyways he really jerks out of the way with a yelp

R: Role | Lee or ler, what is generally their main role?

Definitely a ler leaning switch, especially considering his best friend is arguably the biggest lee in the universe

W: Word | What is their reaction to the T-word? Can they say it out loud or do they get embarrassed?

He doesn’t necessarily have any strong feelings about the word, but it can make him cringe in the right context. But he can say it without issue

X: X-Over | In a crossover AU, which other fandom character would be a fitting tickle fight opponent for them and why?

Poe Dameron would get absolutely wrecked by him & I need it to happen. Don’t get me wrong, he’d hold his own but in the end he doesn’t stand a chance. Also, this reminded me of my wolf 359 & star trek crossover & I just know Eiffel would be such a mischievous lil shit & try to attack Bones when he wasn’t expecting it & the tables are turned so fast it’s not even funny (it is actually hilarious)

[fluffallamaful]

Remember the old Failed Disc Finale AU? Yeah, let’s bring it back now y’all —

So, at this point in time Dream hasn’t been destroyed by Pandora’s Vault, but he’s still not really stable. Like, his home has been torn apart, his pet has been killed and it’s corpse waved in front of his face like a taunt, he’s been repeatedly publicly humiliated, had a whole smear campaign waged against him that was so successful it turned even his closest friends against him — friends who he had to leave in order to keep safe from everyone else who would want to hurt him — point is, he’s not doing so hot. He needs this plan, he needs it to work. He’s gonna do what it takes to get there.

And right now, he’s gonna stage a whole ass grand finale to make the cogs turn.

Problem is, the rest of the server…sees through his lies really easily this time around. Like, he doesn’t even have half of the items he says he’s gonna get. There’s no security. There’s a nether portal right there. He built the Fucking Skeppy Cage. Nothing about this adds up. It’s all so, so stupid. And without the added context of Punz’s involvement, it comes off as Dream having some sort of mental breakdown.

And the difference is that while Dream is as fucked up here as he is in canon, to everyone else this has basically been a very intense game of some sort. Like yeah, they’ve still got some kinks to sort out, and Tommy IS genuinely angry at Dream for some of the shit he pulled in Exile, but they’re all still friends at the end of the day. They’ve been building things and destroying them for kicks and some of them have pretty nasty senses of humor, but. This is their home, yeah? Except now they’re seeing Dream, having a very public psychotic breakdown, and suddenly they’re wondering if maybe things went a bit far. (Maybe it’s even a case where Dream is the Only Human (as well as maybe Punz) on the whole server, and everyone else has seriously overestimated just how much humans can typically take —)

Tommy kills Dream twice, as in canon, as payment for what he did during Exile. But now he stops there instead of going in for a third — he’s satisfied by this in this version, because Exile-as-a-game didn’t affect him as badly as Exile-as-a-real-event would — and the server starts contemplating what to do. And it’s kind of awkward, because what the fuck is this — and suddenly someone suggests that maybe they need to use one of their old punishments for stealing toys. And people are confused until they subtly wiggle their fingers, out of Dream’s sight but in sight of everyone else.

Then all of their heads snap towards Dream with identical grins, and suddenly Dream’s feeling a swoop in his gut but it’s too late, he’s on his back with his head in George’s lap and Sapnap straddling his legs and the whole fucking server standing over him, ready to go.

Even then, it isn’t until Sapnap squeezes his hips that he realizes what’s about to happen.

>:)

FAILED DISC AU MAKES A RETURN WOOOO!!!

it’s just so damn cute coz he’s just trying his hardest to get this little act across and over with. and then everyone just takes it in a completely different direction than he expects 😭 like i love it so much. and the fact that he doesn’t quite realise what’s happening until sap actually squeezes his side 😭

i’m also still in love with the things we added to it before 🥺 the item teases and punz being dragged into it eheeeeee!! the realisation that maybe dream could just use some tickles in general 🥺 i’m intrigued to see what you’re planning to add to itttt 👀 i loveeee this oneeeeeeee

[beta-thoughts]

Me and the big C!

No, not that big C. Truth be told it’s perhaps not big enough to warrant it’s own headline. No, I’m talking about Cuckolding.

This might turn into a rather long post but it is what it is and you’ll read if you’re interested I assume. For a bit of context, the significant other in my life that has been mentioned in a post or comment or two - I’ll henceforth refer to Her with Her chosen title, Madame, for reference. The topic of cucking has been brought up between us in the past but more and more recently and again this past weekend. Madame has tasked me with writing a little piece about my view and how I feel and think about it. You see I’m a bit weird in weird ways and sometimes it’s easier for me to write about something first and then She can read it and then we can talk about it further. And a disclaimer - much of this post is going to come across as selfish and only from my perspective and I’m well aware that selfishness isn’t really befitting of my station but my orders are to write about this from my perspective so that’s what I’m, being good and obedient, is going to do.

So cuckolding. I listened to a podcast last week - it was an interview with a cuckquean (I’ll dig up the link if anyone wants it) and she said one thing that really resonated with me. She said she was a submissive first, something else that isn’t relevant here and now second, and a cuckquean third. And I’ve been thinking about that and how it relates to me and my kinks. You see I’ve realized that my kinks are only kinks if they play into my submissiveness. By themselves, a lot of them stop being kinks. I’ll give you an example before diving further into the C-kink. Buttplugs. I’ve mentioned before that I’m a buttslut. So if I shove a plug up my butt it feels nice, I like it. But in itself it doesn’t turn me on. It’s nice in the same way the sun feels nice against my skin, the same way a wonderful meal tickles my tastebuds. It’s pleasurable, but not necessarily a turn-on. Now being told to put the plug in, yes a little bit. Having to ask to take it out, yes that as well. But the plug being there as such - it’s not a ”thing” unless it’s made into a thing, if I’m told it’s a thing and why it’s a thing, if it’s used against me. Then we’re cooking and then it both turns me on and deepens my sense of submission and inferiority which is ultimately my biggest kink and turn-on.

And it’s the same thing with cuckolding. Just the fact that Madame is having sex with someone else with me there/not there, watching/not watching? Can I be happy for Her? Of course. But (and here comes the selfish part if the above wasn’t enough) - does it do anything for me? Nope. I’m not what you might call a stag in the cuckolding lingo. It only becomes a thing if it’s used against me, through humiliation, degradation, ridicule or belittling (in a non-age play way just to be clear). Being ignored could work as well if it feels deliberate. But I need that external verbal or physical stimuli for it to become something that both arouses me and pushes me further into sub headspace where I’m also more easily aroused. I need to have it rubbed in my face, who knows, maybe literally.

And I’m going to keep rambling now because I’m on a roll. I took this train of thought a step further and tried to think of when don’t I need that external stimuli for a kink to become a kink. Bondage and restraint is the first thing that comes to mind. In bondage (Yay rope!) or somehow restrained I can self-feed the energy that pushes me deeper into sub headspace. I don’t need anyone else to do it for me. Same thing with sensory deprivation. And with impact play although not so much during but in the afterglow of endorphins I can also channel that sub energy myself without having it enforced onto me. Maybe things like corner time or being locked away in a cage or a closet or something could have a similar effect as well but I have virtually no experience with that so I don’t know. But I could imagine it could work as it’s a sort of restraint in way. But that’s it I think. I have like a million kinks but most of them only come into play if they feed into submission or are made to feed into submission. So now I’m actually sat here worried I’m a very high maintenance sub which is not at all what I want to be. And in one way I’m not because I’ll still do pretty much anything besides my limits and I’ll (for the mostpart) do them without fuss and to the best of my ability at the time. I don’t brat, I don’t go looking for punishments, I try to be the best I can be. But from the perspective of someone wanting me to get a high (or rather low) from stuff, yeah I think I’m unfortunately rather high maintenance. Which sucks because I hate the idea of making things more difficult. I would like myself to be an instrument with loads of strings that it’s easy and wonderfully delightful for someone to play and create melodies on the go. And I do have a ton of strings, they’re all over the place. But actually playing them with purpose and intent…yeah, I’m afraid that takes more effort than I’d like. 

But back to cuckolding. Sorry, this is like my strings, all over the place. Maybe I’ll cut this up into a couple of separate posts later, would perhaps make more sense. But let’s give a think then to why cuckolding is a kink…when it’s made into a kink in accordance with my extensive rambling above. I think it boils down to three things:

The more people that are above me, the further down I am in the hierarchy and that idea is very appealing. Perhaps I’m even actually poly in a kink setting, the thought has crossed my mind but let’s leave that for another day. So ideally, again from my selfish point of view, I’d like the third (or more) persons to be dominant towards me as well. That reinforces my place and I like that. It’s not a necessity but ideally, yes in some way. I don’t care about the dynamics above me as long as I’m on the bottom or at least close to it.

Someone else is getting what I’m not getting or am allowed/deserve to get. That doesn’t have to be sex but orgasmic pleasure is obviously a very strong statement to drive the point of where my place on the ladder is to it’s extreme.

This ties into the other two I suppose but the sheer humiliation of being less is very obvious in a situation where I’m excluded from an activity two or more other people are engaging in that looks like it’s fun. 

But then back again - the simple act of two people having sex, even if one of them is a Woman I love in itself is not a kink or a turn-on for me. It’s not a limit either, I can be happy for Her and glad She’s getting what She wants. But if I’m to get something out it - I need that external verbal or physical stimuli for it to ”do” something for me.

Jeepers, that’s a lot of words. Apologies for taking up the lion’s share of your evening but also thank you for reading to the end. I’m happy to discuss if anyone wants to - just leave a comment or send an ask or a DM. As you might have gathered…I’m not opposed to writing or chatting about this stuff. Or any stuff.

[kirascottage]

dating jj maybank

jj maybank x gender neutral. reader

word count: 1.8k

cw: headcanons, overall domestic fluff, angst if you squint till ur visions blurry, mentions of poor emotional expression, mentions of sex / sexual innuendos, mentions of fighting / injury, strong pda, kissing, consensual groping, swearing, soft!jj

okay so this is the first time i’ve ever written dating headcanons so i’m gonna try my best

• jj and expressing emotions are a very complicated duo and almost everyone knows it, including you. he knows how he feels for you, and feels it strongly, but the way it comes out of his mouth is like gibberish and completely not understandable. 

“so you know — like — i don’t know, man. i feel heavy for you, like do you feel heavy for me, too?”

“jj, i don’t even know what heavy means in this context and what you’re referring to.”

• but he comes from a good place, and you come to know, learn and love that, because well he loves you, and with jj you just have to infer by his mess of words.

• this boy tries to be as romantic as possible but he’s literally never had a s/o before. the only thing he knows are one nighters so there is a lot that pope and john b advise him on because miscommunication is quite literally the worst. (stated by john b himself)

• for this instance and the sake of the headcanons: you are a member of the pogues, through and through.

• so most of the time you’re together, the pogues are there too. even dates. they love to occupy and jj could shout at the top of his lungs how they are the biggest cock-blockers to ever exist and they would not care. 

• so at that point he doesn’t even try to keep his hands to himself, he will touch you or quite literally make out with you in front of anyone and everyone he can.

• i mean he can get a little protective. (also considering he would never let you around his dad because he wants to protect you and would never let you near anyone that could hurt you) 

• i mean this guy would fight for you till the very end; punches thrown countless of times and harsh words absolutely shouted more times than you could count on your fingers, but no matter how many times you chastise jj, he would never stop to defend your honour because at the end of the night you’re the one playing with his hair and kissing his cuts and bruises.

• especially after everything as well with rafe, topper and the kooks he just wants everyone (including the tourons you see once a millennium) to know that you and him are romantically involved and you are very much taken.

• he even lets the most irrelevant people know the both of you are dating because he loves you that much:

“okay, babe, here me out—”

“jj a whole group of kids just asked me about our relationship! i love you, but the whole population does not need to know that we’re together.”

“obviously we can't tell the whole population! or I would, duh.”

•  even though he could blabber on about everything about you, including what shampoo you use and which perfume of yours is his favourite, affection is more his style: 

• this includes walking around with his hand in your back pocket because wearing anything but jean shorts is really not an option in that heat, (and this does include ass grabbing at every opportunity he can)—

• — his hand gently placed on your thigh while driving / while he’s next to you, interlocking pinkies 98% of the time as you walk together —

• — and peppering kisses is always happening. whether they’re ticking at your checks, suffocating your neck or affectionately placed on your forehead he’s always kissing you.

• other key, and essential, things that come to mind are that his arm is always around you; after everything that’s happened to him he just needs to physically know you’re there and that’s enough to subdue him.

• it’s almost routine for him arm to go around your waist or your shoulder, whether you’re tall or short, tbh he doesn’t really care, his arms and lips are always on you.

• dating jj is dating a teenage boy with absolutely no impulse control and zero control over what he says—

“I mean, dude, if you think about it, why isn’t a banana called a yellow if an orange is called an orange? and why are phones called ‘telephones’ like who the fuck came up with that crap?”

or

“i mean, hey, we could bang out here and it’s not like anyone would know. like jb could be out in the living room and be like clueless.”

“jj, there’s two windows pointing directly at us. i think he would know.”

• —if you don’t understand then he definitely does not either.

• you also flip each other off a lot and people are like ??? but you both are like — fuck you —(affectionate & full of love with my middle fingers)

• one thing he does know is how to flatter you, whether he’s obnoxiously winking at you or bringing you flowers with his tips from work, or he picked them himself, it’s all in the effort.

• any effort from you is like kids getting their favourite toy they’ve been wanting on christmas, for instance: anytime you bring him food, or offer to stay with him at john b’s is like swelling up his heart to the maximum.

• so when he’s not with you, or the pogues, which is rare he is outside. and jj is like diego the explorer he always finds little places just for himself, or for this instance with you.

• so a lot of dates include going to these secluded spots: sometimes it’s a picnic, or a walk, and stargazing is his absolute favourite as he listens to you drone on about the constellations and even just watching the sky with your presence next to him is so comforting and makes him feel safe. 

• of course when the pogues find out they’re brutal with their teasing.

“awww, look at the cute and happy couple!”

“my wittle babies, growing up so fast.”

“god, kie, you make it sound like we’re five?!”

• speaking of alone time, jj loves to cuddle when you guys are alone and that’s one thing he’s not fond of being teased about.

• his head is firm on your chest, his arms wrapped around your waist and his leg flung over your hips. to him it’s just a perfect way to start and end the day.

• he also loves to watch movies while cuddling and he has a set of movies and their genres completely memorized for the occasion.

• he has such a good memory to the weirdest things. like he can state in the exact order your makeup routine, or talk about all the caves and sinkholes in yukatan but ask him how many states there are in america and he’s completely bummed.

• back to what i was saying, cuddling and movie times together.

• he’s the little spoon i will not argue with anyone about this, especially if something happened that day.

• like if rafe pissed him off, some kooks stepped on his toes, his dad had been particularly agitated that day or he was just frustrated. your embrace is what keeps his together. he just loves the feeling of your arms around him, essentially protecting him.

• and the pogues always get a kick out of it when they see you too snuggled in the morning. they even take pictures, a lot of pictures of everything and anything they can. 

• their fav times to take pictures is when you both are off guard: like when he’s putting his hat on you, he’s sharing his juul with you, you guys are laying together on the boat or maybe your surfing together in the water.

• he’s surprisingly intimate about everything even though they’re such mundane things for him.

• he expresses his love for you by actions rather than words. for example, he has a guitar (an absolutely beat up one with missing strings and chipped wood, but he says it has more character that way as well as your signature on the back of it)—

• —and just strums it for you absolutely whenever and however your mood is because no matter what its always calming. sometimes he even hums a little tune or starts singing a bit.  

• another few ways he depicts his love for you is by shoving his baseball hat on your head (the one that absolutely nobody is allowed to wear) because he doesn’t want you frying in the sun or dying of heatstroke.

• a lot of his tank tops are now yours because they’re so comfortable and you can wear them literally anywhere.

• he shares, only with you but, he shares. his rings are on your fingers, his bandana is around your neck, his boxers are your sleep shorts, and he absolutely eats that shit up.

• he also gets extremely comfortable with you, like even more than john b in a way. example: you could just be chilling, his arm wrapped around your neck and — boom — he’s shoving your face in his armpit and trying to tickle you.

• it gets to the point where the pogues are so used to it and sometimes even they join in because they even like being included in on your affections but would absolutely rather drown than admit it. they love watching their two best friends love grow for each other, and they're happy jj has found sanctuary to love and be with someone freely. 

• speaking of love, jj is also like a puppy: praise, reassurance and kisses are the way to his heart and staying there.

• i’m gonna say it, jj has self confidence and love issues. they are not detectable at all but with his mother gone and the way his father treated him, there’s shit buried in his heart that it takes awhile for him to open up about.

• once he does: he cries, and he cried a lot. but after that it was like never letting go again. he trusts you with his whole heart and soul and he knows you won’t take advantage of that.

• the way you both accept each other into each others lives is so important to him no matter where you live, who you are and what your family is like everything counts for him and that just makes you the person who you are. 

• dating jj can be complicated and messy and wonderful and passionate and relationships aren’t easy but he would def be worth it <3

[ticklishraspberries]

Can you do Eddie Munson for the ask meme?

I would Love That!

I Love your Work btw <3

anonymous said: Hellooo, could you please do eddie munson for the ask meme? :)) 

on a scale of 1-10, how ticklish are they? - a solid 7

where is their most ticklish spot(s)? - neck, underarms, hips, feet

which spots are they not ticklish? - honestly it’s not a long list, but because he uses his hands a lot (playing guitar as well as the headcanon that he’s a mechanic!!) his palms aren’t really sensitive

what is their laugh like? - loud, cackling, bubbly, and full of choked out swear words, useless begging, and thinly veiled threats

do they enjoy tickling? if yes, is it a fun platonic/familial thing, or kinky thing to them, or can it be both depending on the circumstance? - yes, i think eddie would 100% be One Of Us in all those regards

are they more often a lee or ler, generally? - as a kid, he was never really tickled until he moved in with wayne who gave him the occasional tickle, and when he started making more friends at school, he became a pretty 50/50 switch

who is someone in their life that they tickle often? - dustin and steve

who is someone in their life that they get tickled by often? - steve, wayne, and occasionally robin

does the word “tickle” or any variation of embarrass them? - depends on the context. would use lame phrases like “tickled pink” but when directed at him, it makes him feel all shy

are they embarrassed about their ticklishness, and do they try to deny/hide it? - jokingly says stuff about it damaging his reputation, but otherwise he isn’t really as embarrassed as he is shy if that makes sense?

would gentle tickling or rough tickling affect them more? - it depends on the spot, but in general, rough tickles would get a better reaction

is there a specific spot that they enjoy being tickled, either exclusively or more than other spots? what is it? - eddie likes being tickled in general, but he’s a big fan of soft tickles on his stomach/sides bc it makes him all giggly and happy

is there a spot that they can’t stand to be tickled, either because it’s just too sensitive, or it’s uncomfortable/painful/etc? what is it? - hips get overwhelming pretty quick but he doesn’t mind being driven to the point of begging ;))

would they ever purposefully bug a friend/partner/sibling into tickling them, and if so, how would they go about it? - absolutely. did you watch the show? 100%.

does teasing affect them? - to an extent, yes. he’s used to being the cocky, playful one and when the tables are turned he gets pretty flustered!!

[sunstone-smiles]

HELLO! just got into ace attorney and there’s a lot of stuff BUT i would love to see my man phoenix be a lee hehe

now that’s quite literally all i’m asking here, you can do whoever you want with any context, just anything with lee phoenix if you don’t mind :D

Hello Anon! Yay! That’s great that you’re getting into the series! It’s one of my favorites! I’m currently replaying the Trilogy, so I chose Maya and Pearl for this! I hope you enjoy!

A Spirit Medium's Curse

Series: Ace Attorney

Characters: Phoenix Wright, Maya Fey, Pearl Fey

Words: 1,344

Summary: When Phoenix tries to remove a poster Maya hung in the office, Maya uses any tactic she can to stop him, even if she has to make up a playful curse to do so. Enjoy!

—

The edge of a poster droops downward like a wilting flower, revealing its plain white backing as the glass panel that was once flattening it is removed from the wall. With the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up, Phoenix lifts the see-through plate from the picture frame and carefully leans it against the side of his desk. The ringing sound of glass vibrating and bumping into other solid material makes a bit of a ruckus in the office, which catches Maya’s attention while she watches TV on the couch. She turns herself around and sits on her knees, leaning over the back of the cushions to see Phoenix.

“Nick? What are you doing?” Maya asks after hearing the small commotion of noise.

Phoenix dusts his hands off and stares at the picture on the wall. “I’m taking down the Steel Samurai poster you hung here.”

“What?!” In a flash, Maya launches herself off the couch and dashes over to the lawyer. “Why?!”

“Because it’s not very professional to have it hanging in the office.”

“What’s so unprofessional about the Steel Samurai: Warrior of Neo Olde Tokyo! Pearly and I like it. Isn’t that right, Pearly?”

Maya’s little cousin peeks her head over the couch. “Yes! Mystic Maya is showing me these things called reruns of the Steel Samurai! He’s a defender, so he kind of reminds me of you, Mr. Nick!”

“See! Pearly gets it!” Maya gestures towards her.

“Thank you Pearls,” Phoenix says sweetly to the little girl, then narrows his eyes at the older spirit medium, “But I’m still taking the poster down.” Soon after, the lawyer turns his back on her to continue what he was doing.

“Wait, Nick don’t! Or you’ll…um…” Maya tries to think of an explanation, “Or…You’ll be cursed!”

Phoenix glares at her again. “Cursed? Really?” he has to keep himself from rolling his eyes at her attempt at an excuse.

“Uh…Yes!” she proceeds with her lie. “A legend from Kurain Village says that if you go against not one, but two medium’s wishes, a spirit will come to haunt you with its ghostly hands!” Maya waves her arms up and down for a spooky effect.

“Uh huh…Right,” Phoenix responds sarcastically. He completely ignores her reasoning and turns around once more with his arms raised to take down the poster.

“Wait Nick!” Maya yells again in a desperate attempt to stop him. She has to think of something quick, or the poster is history! In a last-ditch effort, she goes with the first idea that pops into her head and shoots her hands forward to tickle his exposed sides. Phoenix immediately yelps and clamps his arms down as giggles start to pour from his mouth. Success! He stopped going for the poster! 

Mayahahaha!” Phoenix wraps his arms around himself and twists his body to try and escape the corner he’s trapped in. “Cuhuhut that ohohout!”

“But I’m not doing this Nick!” Maya feigns innocence with a smile, “I told you, the spirit would come down to curse you! They’re being channeled through me and are using my hands to tickle you for all eternity!”

“I knohohow thahahat’s nohohot true Mayahaha! Quihihit it!” He attempts to shake her away, but Maya shifts next to him and starts wiggling her fingers into the front of his side, causing Phoenix to completely spin around and stumble backwards towards the couch. He grabs the arm of the sofa with one hand to catch himself while he uses his other to try and push her away, but a quick scribble into his ribs sends him toppling over the arm of the seat. Pearl leaps off the piece of furniture right before Phoenix plops into the cushions, and she watches as her older cousin runs to the front of the couch to continue her playful attack on the lawyer.

Maya quickly scribbles back into Phoenix’s sides before he can escape, not giving him a single moment to rest while he returns into a giggling mess. Phoenix kicks his legs and tries to scoot away as far as he can, but his route is ultimately cut off when his head reaches the other, dead end of the couch.

Pearl giggles at them while she watches them play. “That’s why you should always listen to Mystic Maya, Mr. Nick!”

“Exactly!” Maya responds to her cousin and wiggles her hands up towards Phoenix's ribs, making him jump with increased giggles from this new spot. “Come help me, Pearly! Go for Nick’s ribs, he’s really ticklish here!”

“Nohoho! Pehehearls! Dohohon’t listen to heheher!” Phoenix thrashes about as he tries to push Maya away from his weak point.

Pearl pulls up her little sleeve. “Sorry Mr. Nick, but if it makes Mystic Maya happy, then it has to be done!” She trots over to the couch where the flailing Phoenix is and Maya steps out of the way, moving her hands down to his sides, to make room for Pearl.

“Nohoho! Wahahait—AH! Hahaha! Pehehearls!” Phoenix’s laughter rises even higher when her little hands scribble into his ribs, their small size easily gaining access to the ticklish gaps between each of the curved bones. He gently tries to grab the girl’s wrists away to stop her, but a few quick squeezes to his sides by Maya makes him jolt in place and lose his grip on Pearl.

“So Nick, will you leave the poster up?” Maya gives him a smug grin while she claws into his sides.

Phoenix attempts to roll himself into a protective ball. “Buhuhut I dohohon’t wahahant to!” he responds through his giggles like a schoolchild.

“Are you suuure?” Maya smirks and moves one of her hands to tickle his belly, while her other creeps up his side to the lower half of his ribs, only adding on to the tickles that Pearl is already delivering there. Phoenix lets out a little squeal of laughter and quickly curls up his middle to try and shove Maya’s teasing hand away, but he flops back into the cushions and dissolves into giggles when he can’t hold himself up any longer.

“Fihihihine! Fine! Yohohou twohoho win!” Phoenix leans his head back, “Yohohou cahahan keep the pohohoster! Now plehehease stohohop! Hahaha!”

“Deal!” Maya moves her hands away, with Pearl following close behind. Phoenix sinks back into the couch as his chest rises and falls, placing a hand on his stomach to relax his previously attacked center. The assistant puts her hands behind her back and tips her weight forward to lean over him with a smile. “See? That wasn’t so hard now was it?”

Phoenix slowly turns his head towards her while he catches his breath. “You can…be a real pain sometimes…you know that?” 

“I know,” she grins, “But you still care about me.”

“Mr. Nick! Don’t be mean to Mystic Maya! Or we’ll have to punish you again!” Pearl chimes in with a determined look.

Phoenix’s eyes go wide and he immediately sits up. “No! No! I’ve had enough for one day!”

Maya chuckles. “We’ll let him off the hook this time, Pearly. But only if he finishes straightening the poster in its rightful spot.”

The lawyer sighs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’m on it…” 

He gets up off the cushions and heads towards his desk while the two girls take over the couch again to continue watching TV. With extra caution, he smooths out the curved edges of the poster so that it’s completely flat, then lifts up the plate of glass to place it into the frame. Once the fragile piece is secured, he takes a step back to look at his finished handiwork. 

As the Steel Samurai in its iconic pose stares back at him, Phoenix suddenly understands the significance of why it belongs in the office. He glances over at the girls on the couch, smiling as they cheer on the heroic warrior on the television screen. The Steel Samurai poster may not be completely professional, but it does remind him of the good times he’s able to have with friends like them.

[phoenixyfriend]

Anakin and the Jedi Babies: Names and Faces

Context:  Anakin and the Jedi Babies, chrono

Word Count: 6,477

---------------

It goes like this:

Nobody wants to separate Anakin from the children in his care until they know more about why he’s here. The gamble paid off, to some degree, and he thanks the Force that it did.

He hasn’t felt that cold in years.

He knows the logic of why the Mandalorians he’s fallen in with aren’t doing anything yet. He’s an obvious Jedi, and they don’t know why he’s here or what he’s doing. Hedging on the Mando’a and the cultural obligation to childcare hadn’t been anything close to sure, but it was... enough. He got lucky that these Mandalorians leaned on those obligations, at least to the point of keeping them all in the same room. He can sense that much, even before he opens his eyes, and he has to be grateful.

The looming hypothermia had probably nudged things in his favor.

Anakin opens his eyes to a guest room of a cell, something well-furnished and cozy, but definitely not meant to be something he can escape from. His saber is gone, and there are Force-nullifying cuffs on his wrists, and he’s pretty sure they’ve taken his--yep, vibroblade’s gone.

Fuck.

His body doesn’t want to move, and he’s still shivering a bit, but he’s mostly back to normal. When he sits up, he notices that there is, in fact, only one Force-nullifying cuff. They detached his arm.

He closes his eyes and breathes deep and tells himself it was probably medically necessary. Large pieces of metal aren’t great for maintaining homeostasis. He’ll get it back.

Probably.

“Ah!”

The voice makes him jolt, and his eyes fly open.

Two cribs, one much bigger than the other. Both are occupied. The larger one has bars, and through it...

“Snips,” he breathes, lurching to his feet and then crashing to his knees, about as graceful as a newborn eopie.

“Bah!”

“Just--just one second,” Anakin grits out, grimacing as he tries to pull himself to standing again. The fact that he’s down an arm doesn’t impact him much, but the shakiness of his legs is... a problem.

“Owwww,” Ahsoka coos with an exaggerated grimace, reacting to his pain with the innocent sympathy of a toddler. She looks, what, two? Maybe? He’s not sure if there’s anything particular about how Togruta babies age. She’s too young for words, clearly.

“I’m fine,” Anakin assures her, even as his heart sinks. She’s Ahsoka, clearly, he knows her in the Force and it can’t be anyone else, but her memories...

She recognizes him, but that’s not saying much.

He manages to get over to the chair next to the crib, but doesn’t trust himself to take her out right now. The snow and the mess of a fight before that haven’t been kind to him. Instead, he just sticks his hand through the bars and lets her grab at his fingers.

He can’t help but smile, really. She’s adorable, and she’s so damn happy to see him.

“Skyguy!”

“Oh, so you are talking,” Anakin says, part of him relaxing just a tad. “I was worried.”

“Mine,” she stresses, patting at his wrist.

“Yeah, your Skyguy,” he says. So she remembers... some things, at least. “And you’re my Snips.”

She squeals and yanks on his hand, just enough that the Force-suppressing cuff clanks against the bars of the crib. “Sky, Sky, Sky!”

Oh, she’s precious.

“You having fun?” he asks, filling the air with words faster than his head can fill with doubts. “Has everyone been nice?”

“Mmmmm,” she grumbles, falling to her butt with a huff. “Doc!”

“Oh, a doctor?” he asks, wondering at his own tone. He never expected to be one for baby-talk. “Was the doctor mean?”

“Cold!” she tells him. “Cold here!”

She taps at her chest, right where someone might check her heartbeat or breathing; the metal would be cold, and also necessary. He doesn’t fault anyone for it. Considering how poorly Anakin had fared, he’s just happy they’re all alive and mostly fine.

He doesn’t know what year it is. He knows he’s not in the year he should be. He’s vaguely aware of the name Jaster--one of the Mandos had said it while bringing him in--but he doesn’t know when Mereel’s reign ended and Fett’s began. He does know both are supposed to be dead.

Has Anakin been born yet? Has Ahsoka? Hell, has Obi-Wan?

Can he give out any real names?

A series of small, upset noises start coming up from the other, smaller crib.

He stands, but Ahsoka clings to his hand and refuses to let go. He can’t pry her off, not without his other arm, but he pulls away with quiet reassurances that he just has to check on... on...

Her brother, he says, aware that there’s more than a slight chance someone has the room bugged. He’s a Jedi in Mando custody. They aren’t stupid, and neither is he.

Obi-Wan’s the most likely to have already been born. Having the same name and face will draw attention, will cause questions, but... he can’t just rename his master like a recently-adopted pet. That’s just... wrong.

Anakin’s less shaky than when he first woke up, but he still has no way of safely picking up the kids. He reaches into the small crib, something twisting behind his sternum, and tickles under Obi-Wan’s chin.

The baby--the infant--looks up at him with wide eyes, too blue for the Obi-Wan he knows, but full of wonder and--

Love, the Force whispers through the cracks in the effects of the cuff.

“Love you too,” Anakin whispers, though he wonders if Obi-Wan would really feel like this as an adult again. Babies love easily, he thinks, and he’s the only adult that Obi-Wan knows right now. Maybe it’s just chemicals.

He stands there for longer than is probably a good idea, with the state of his body, but he can’t help it. Obi-Wan keeps grabbing at his finger and kicking with tiny legs, and sticking a tiny, tiny fist in his mouth as he tries watches Anakin.

It’s all Anakin can do to mutter a stream of meaningless nonsense as he struggles not to cry. He’s always had too many emotions, and right now he’s the only person these two can rely on. He’s the adult.

The door whooshes open.

“The medic said you were awake.”

He knows that voice. He closes his eyes and doesn’t turn, because there are a million feelings in his chest and he’s not sure which one is going to come out first.

“Sky?” Ahsoka questions, likely feeling his worry. “Issokay! Good!”

No, she wouldn’t have the mind to recognize why this familiar face she knows as friend is quite the opposite.

Anakin turns away from the crib, and smiles. “Mando.”

“Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker,” the teenager in the door says. He’s not wearing his bucket, but the rest of his armor is in place. Anakin would peg him as younger than Ahsoka was, before. Not by much, but... fourteen, maybe fifteen. The face is painfully familiar, and stays utterly neutral as he answers the question Anakin didn’t ask. “We found your Ident card after you passed out.”

Cool, so, Anakin definitely can’t change his name.

“Are they yours?” the teenager that will one day create an army says.

“They have no one else,” Anakin tells him. It’s true enough. Still, he gets the feeling that’s not what Fett’s asking. “They’re family.”

Jango squints at him. “I was told Jedi can’t have families.”

Anakin’s mind flashes to Padme and the fantasies he’d long harbored of children born free, and tears himself away. He can’t think about that right now. He can’t think of who he’s--

“Jetii!”

Anakin’s head snaps up, and he realizes he’s shaking. Fett’s not neutral anymore, just... concerned.

“I’m fine,” Anakin spits out, and leans on the crib behind him. He can hear the little ones whimpering. He has to pull his thoughts in and bundle them up into something that won’t hurt the incredibly Force-Sensitive babies behind him. “I’m--I’m all they have. They’re all I have. Are the exact words important?”

Fett doesn’t grimace, exactly, but his expression isn’t pleasant. “I guess.”

Anakin waits to see if there’s anything else coming, but no. Just an awkward silence. He holds onto his frustration, but it still gets the better of him.

“What are my chances of getting my arm back?” he asks.

“Hm?”

Anakin waves what’s left of that arm, the tied-off sleeve flapping about. “My arm. If you don’t want to give me mine back, can I at least have some kind of placeholder? I can’t pick up the babies without worrying that I’m going to drop them.”

“I can ask the medics,” Fett says. He stares at Anakin for a little more, and then asks, “Aren’t you going to ask about our plans for you, or...?”

“If you wanted to kill me, you already would have,” Anakin mutters. “Right now, these two are my only priority. I’m more likely to keep them safe and alive here than I am if I try to break out. I can be patient. I would also assume they wouldn’t have been left in a room with me, alone, if any of us were in danger of medical complications.”

Fett flushes and turns. “I’ll tell buir you’re up and active. There’s a nurse droid in the hall, I can have it handle feedings until you get an arm.”

“Thanks,” Anakin drawls, aware that he’s a little bitchy right now, but not in any mood to temper himself.

He settles himself on the floor next to Ahsoka’s crib, lets her play with his hair while the nurse droid feeds Obi-Wan, and then feeds Ahsoka herself. Anakin thinks he could probably pull the droid apart for an escape attempt if it came down to it. He hopes it won’t be necessary. He’s barely existing in the moment as it is. The droid asks Anakin if he needs anything, and he... shrugs.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Perhaps some non-perishables,” the nurse droids suggests. “Ration bars, for if you are hungry before one of the Mando’ade returns.”

Anakin shrugs again. “Alright.”

He ignores the droid after that. He’s only mostly cut off from the Force by the single cuff. He can’t blanket his Master and Padawan in his own Force presence, try to make them feel safe and calm with the fact that he’s here and ready to protect them, but he can monitor them. He can meditate, even if it’s not the way he prefers to do it. He doesn’t have the strength for moving meditation right now, but a regular meditation... he can do that.

He needs to do that, because no other stress relief option is available to him right now.

Anakin lets himself feel the babies fall asleep, the two of them radiating contentment and warmth. He lets himself trust that, for the moment, he doesn’t need to worry. He lets himself sink into an absence of thought, and then the Force guides him deeper still.

“Anakin!”

His eyes fly open.

This is not the real world.

This is not the room-cell in the Haat Mando’ade base he’s managed to stumble across.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says again, a smile hidden in a beard and worn laugh lines about his eyes. The right age, the right size, reaching for him and--

There’s only a moment’s hesitation for Anakin to process, and then he sprints forward and yanks his Master into a hug.

“You’re good,” Obi-Wan mutters to him, rubbing his back as they both sink to their knees. There’s a click of bootheels against the empty white not-space that they’re in, and Ahsoka buries herself into their sides. Anakin pulls her in a little closer too.

They stay that for longer than is maybe necessary, but Anakin’s stress levels are sky high right now, and he needs this. A hug, even one that’s technically only taking place in his head, is important.

“Sorry, Skyguy,” Ahsoka whispers. “Thinking in the real world is... really hard right now.”

He pulls away from the desperate hug he’d started them off with, rearranges things so he’s leaning against Obi-Wan, lets Ahsoka lie down with her head in his lap, on her back and legs stretched out across the white nothingness.

“I don’t know what happened,” Anakin says. “I mean, Sith stuff, probably, but... we’re in the wrong year.”

“I’d wondered,” Obi-Wan admits. “I thought it odd that I couldn’t feel the clones, but I only have so much energy to think right now...”

“Please tell me there’s a way to fix it,” Anakin begs. “I can’t be the adult, Obi-Wan. I haven’t even been born yet, that’s how far back we are. I don’t know what to do, and I can’t just bang around making bad decisions without you there to pull me back and--”

“Breathe,” Obi-Wan tells him.

“We’re in the Force,” Anakin says, just a little hysterically. “We don’t need to breathe!”

“Actually, I think we’re in your head,” Ahsoka says. She’s pointing and stretching her feet like a dancer, but looks up to grin at Anakin like the little shit she is. “You’re the only one whose brain is big enough right now.”

“Hey,” Anakin complains, putting his entire palm over her face as revenge. She giggles and swats him away. “That any way to talk to the guy who taught you how to kill five guys in one move?”

She sticks her tongue out at him. He rolls his eyes and runs a hand over her montrals, smiling when she wriggles and makes a little chirruping noise.

“She’s not wrong,” Obi-Wan says. “Though the phrasing was unfortunate, it does stand to reason that as the only person without the brain of a toddler, you’re hosting. Our minds can’t handle the strain of our own selves, let alone sharing space.”

“Infant.”

“Hm?”

“Ahsoka’s a toddler. You’re an infant. Maybe six months.” Anakin grins, just this side of brittle. He doesn’t want to joke about a problem he can’t fix, but what else is there? “You’re the literal baby of the lineage now.”

Obi-Wan sighs over the riot of Ahsoka’s laugh. “Of course I am.”

“It’s okay, Master,” Ahsoka assures him. “Skyguy’s gonna take care of us until we can fight again.”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan says, grimacing slightly. “I am sorry for you being put in such a position, Anakin. It’s certainly not an easy one.”

Anakin wishes he could say that his immediate reaction isn’t a sense of hurt, a you don’t trust me, a you don’t think I can do this, a you’re disappointed someone else wasn’t here to handle things instead.

He wishes he could make that claim and have anyone believe him, but they are in a shared meditation, and in this moment there are very, very few secrets. He does not make the effort to hide his reaction in time, and Obi-Wan catches it.

Anakin turns away as Obi-Wan’s face fills with surprise and horror. “Anakin--”

“Can we just pretend you didn’t feel that?” Anakin asks, and flinches when Ahsoka pops up from where she lies and scurries around to hug him like a vise. “Can we just pretend I’m not--”

“Dear one, there are very few people I would trust as much as you in this,” Obi-Wan says. “Those who match up are largely the people who helped me raise me when I was actually this age.”

“Being completely reliant on your padawan isn’t--”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, cutting him off there. “I can trust you to care for me in ways that don’t just come down to making me a useful general again. I already trust you to risk your life and safety and freedom to see us survive, given what little I remember of that storm.”

“You handed yourself over to Mandalorians you knew nothing about so we’d be safe,” Ahsoka mutters into the fabric somewhere over his ribs. “That could have gone really badly, and you still did it because you were worried about us.”

“We trust you, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, pulling Anakin to his chest and resting his chin on Anakin’s head. “We know you.”

“You don’t even know what happened in the storm,” Anakin mutters. “You were asleep.”

“I caught enough listening to the doctors,” Obi-Wan says. He runs a hand over Anakin’s head and through his hair. “You did well, Anakin.”

Anakin wonders why they don’t do this in real life. Obi-Wan doesn’t usually hug him, let alone cuddle. Maybe it’s because they’re all stuck in too much truth in this shared meditation, and the other two are currently stuck in child bodies that crave physical affection in ways they don’t realize they’re expressing in here as well. Maybe it’s the stress.

“What even can you hear?” Anakin mutters, still in Obi-Wan’s arms. Ahsoka giggles at him, nuzzling into his side in a way he doesn’t think she’d ever let herself, normally.

“We can’t really think in the real world right now,” she muses. “Only when we’re sleeping, and probably when we’re meditating once we’re bigger. If I try to think too hard, my head hurts worse than that time Ventress got me in the head with the back of her saber.”

“Everything takes up more space than it should,” Obi-Wan adds. “It’s... all of my senses are bigger and brighter and take up more of my attention, but they aren’t very clear, really. They’re just more. I can’t focus on anything, either, except... well, the feedings.”

Ahsoka makes an annoyed noise. “The whole diapers and bottles thing is really embarrassing, by the way. Only here, though, I barely notice when I’m awake because...”

“Because you’re a toddler,” Anakin says drily.

She huffs. “How would you feel if you were stuck like that?”

That’s fair.

“I don’t remember much,” Obi-Wan says carefully. “But part of me recognizes familiar things, even if I can’t quite make the connection.”

“Was that Fett, earlier?” Ahsoka asks. “Because I thought I saw a friend, and I pretty much forgot the face as soon as they left, but--”

“It’s Fett,” Anakin confirms. “But I guess that’s good to know? You saw his face and your baby brain just assumed it was one of the clones?”

“Pretty much.”

“And we know we trust you,” Obi-Wan adds, and tightens the hug when Anakin stiffens. “Anakin, I can barely understand the world around me at all right now. It’s like being on the painkillers that don’t knock you out but leave you saying only the most ridiculous things that come to mind. You have a general understanding of what’s going on, but all your emotions are too much and the room spins, you can’t stay on one track mentally, you can’t remember what you’ve done and what you haven’t--”

“You can’t control your bladder,” Ahsoka mutters, just a touch spitefully.

Obi-Wan grimaces and nods. “An unfortunate commonality in the experiences, yes. What I was aiming to address, however, is the fact that I only remember a very few things with any reliability. Most of my adult mind, so to speak, appears to be stored in a stasis form in the Force itself, because the infant mind can only handle the barest edges of who I am. But what that infant mind knows, and what I remember thinking once I have some sense of my full self in sleep, is that there is no one I react to as positively as you, Anakin.”

“What he’s trying to say,” Ahsoka interrupts, “but can’t because he’s trying to be a serene Jedi Councilor who definitely doesn’t break the code, nosiree, is that we don’t remember much about ourselves when we’re awake, but we remember you, and we know that we love you, Skyguy.”

Anakin stares at her, and then twists around to look at Obi-Wan instead.

“Master Kenobi,” Ahsoka croons. “Stop being emotionally constipated. We’re literal babies right not, which sucks, but we’re like 90% emotion. Tell Skyguy.”

“Yes, er, Ahsoka was not incorrect,” Obi-Wan says, stroking his beard and refusing to meet Anakin’s eyes. “I, that is to say, we...”

“Master Kenobi,” Ahsoka says, a touch sharper than she might have dared if not for the reversal of their ages.

“I do love you, Anakin, and it’s one of the only things my child mind knows consistently.”

The Force does, in fact, sing with the truth of this. It circles them like a delighted tornado of emotional reality, pulsing like a coat of positivity.

Anakin buries his face in Obi-Wan’s shoulder and hugs him as tightly as possible.

“Oh! Oh dear, I--Anakin, really, this isn’t news.”

“Master Kenobi, you’re allergic to actually talking about your emotions. Let him hug you.”

“Anakin, I’ve raised you since you were nine, it would be nearly impossible for me to not care, why are you--”

“Master Kenobi, stop questioning him!” Ahsoka whines. “It’s affirmation time.”

“Ahsoka, have you been spending time with the mind healers again?”

“I was a teenager in a warzone and also Barriss bullied me into it for my own good.” Ahsoka shrugs. “I learned some stuff. You two should have gone, too. You were more karked up than I was.”

“Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan scolds.

“What are you going to do, spit up on me? You can’t exactly make me run laps, Master.”

“Both of you shut up,” Anakin mumbles, and tries to push as much of his own affection as possible into a little ball of feelings that he can just drop on the two of them while he’s still in his own brain and not somewhere he can’t touch the Force. “Just--just shut.”

Apparently, Anakin’s feelings are a lot, because Ahsoka bursts into tears and Obi-Wan zones out so hard Anakin starts worrying about him.

They’re in a mindscape, a thing that he didn’t really think happened, but does. He shouldn’t have to worry about his--

“Oh, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, pulling him in tighter. “Why did you...”

“Skyguy, I don’t think you planned on putting in the part where you worry about nobody loving you back as much as you loved them,” Ahsoka says, raw and uneven. “Because, uh, we got that? Skyguy, that’s really wrong!”

Oh shit.

“No, you were... you were not supposed to get that,” he says, just a little strangled. “I am so sorry, that wasn’t--”

“Be our dad.”

Anakin stares down at his Padawan. She stares determinedly back.

“What?”

“Fett asked if we were yours, and you edged around the question by saying we were family, but he was asking if you were our dad. I’m guessing you didn’t want to claim that when we couldn’t agree to it, so I’m telling you now: do it. Adopt us the Mandalorian way or whatever. You were already my older brother, basically, this is just a step sideways in how we talk about it.”

He stares at her a bit more. He doesn’t have words, and his emotions are such a cyclone of conflicting thoughts that he’s surprised the Force hasn’t tossed him out.

“I don’t know if I’m going to be born, but if I am, then I need a name so I don’t have the same one as future me,” she says. She takes his hands, holds them tight and leans in close. “You’re going to be raising us anyway. The Force already made it clear there’s no fixing this, we tried asking while you were unconscious, it wants us to grow up the long way. You’re going to be our dad. Just make it official. Make me a Skywalker.”

Anakin sits up straight, looks her up and down, the determination and affection and--

He turns to look at Obi-Wan. “Master?”

“...yes, Anakin?”

“I know she said ‘we’ and ‘us,’ but I’m not letting anyone speak for anyone else. Not for something this important.”

Obi-Wan blinks at him, and then rearranges himself to something a tad more formal. He takes one of Anakin’s hands in his own. “Anakin, we’ve been family since you were nine. This is just redefining the terms. We can adjust as we go forward, but for all intents and purposes, the majority of the time, I will be that youngling in the cot. For all intents and purposes, I will be your child, and... and I would be honored for you to make that official.”

“Even if it breaks the Code?” Anakin presses.

“All is as the Force wills it,” Obi-Wan says, almost but not quite overriding Ahsoka’s, “This doesn’t break the Code.”

They both turn to look at her. She shrugs. “What? You guys are always arguing about it and Skyguy was married. I went and did some digging about what is and isn’t allowed. This adoption would be skirting the edges of some rules, since we should be taken to the creche to be raised in a communal manner, and official adoptions are discouraged for reasons relating to later padawan stuff, but since the Force is also insisting we stay with the Mandalorians, I think it qualifies as an exception and will be treated as such, retroactively, by the Council. You also won’t be able to take either of us as Padawan once that time comes. It does not, however, violate the Code in and of itself.”

“What the hell, Snips?”

“I’m impressed, young one,” Obi-Wan says, with a smile Anakin can feel. “I could have expected to see you in court in a few years, with an argument like that.”

“You knew I was married?” Anakin squeaks.

“Rex isn’t a very good liar,” she says. She then droops. “Or, he wasn’t. Wouldn’t be. He tried, at least, but I caught on. That was against the Code, though. Just so you know.”

Anakin runs a hand over his face, tries very hard not to think about what and whom he’s left behind. He can save that breakdown for later.

He chances a look at Obi-Wan.

He gets a raised eyebrow in response.

“You’re not mad?”

“I knew you and the Senator were close, considering all the kissing you did in the Arena,” Obi-Wan says drily. Anakin isn’t stupid enough to ask how he knows it’s Padme. “I didn’t know you were married, and am a little disappointed you didn’t at least tell me, or consult me before you did it, considering you were still a padawan... but no, I’m not mad. Even if I were--and I am not--we’ve time-traveled, so I’m fairly certain that qualifies as annulment. It’s a non-issue.”

Anakin pushes down the tidal wave of grief for people who haven’t been born yet, and just breathes instead. This is important. This is too important for him to just kriff it up.

“Names,” he says.

“I still want part of it to be ‘Soka,’ if you don’t think it’s too risky.”

Obi-Wan shrugs with a smile. “Almost every time I’ve posed as a Mandalorian, since my first mission with Satine, I’ve gone by Ben. It would be fitting that, now that we’re here and apparently staying, I take the name for real.”

Anakin nods. He closes his eyes, and breathes deep, and thinks that they may be among Mandalorians on a world of snow, but he has the desert in his bones and will never forget it.

“Ahsoka Tano, sister of my heart,” he says, hoping he’s getting the words right, and takes her hands in his. It’ll have more meaning here and now, where they’re both of full mind. He holds her gaze. “You ask to join my family, to be of those who walk the sky. You shed your old name as you shed the chains of your past. You become my daughter, not of blood, but of love, loyalty, and survival. My wells are your wells, and all I own and earn is to set the path of your freedom. I name you Sokanth Skywalker, she who slips through every hunter’s trap, and you are my child.”

She smiles brightly at him, and looks like she might cry. He presses his lips to her forehead. He turns to his Master. He hesitates, because it’s one thing to redefine his little sister, but...

“Obi-Wan Kenobi, father of my heart,” he says, his voice catching where it shouldn’t. He can do this. It’s weird but he can do this. “You ask to join my family, to be of those who walk the sky. You shed your old name as you shed the chains of your past. You become my son, not of blood, but of love, loyalty, and survival. My wells are your wells, and all I own and earn is to set the path of your freedom. I name you Ylliben Skywalker, he who hunts the monsters of the darkest nights, and you are my child.”

The man before him almost laughs, well aware of how absurd it is for Anakin to be the one adopting him, but keeps it limited to just a twinkle in his eye and a quirk to his lips. Anakin presses his lips to his teacher’s forehead.

He pulls both of them in close. Padawan and Master. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan.

Daughter and son. Soka and Ben. His.

“I’m still gonna call you Skyguy,” Soka says wetly. “But Mas--um, Ben. Ben can call you buir, all the Mandos are gonna love it.”

“Fine by me,” Anakin says. “I’m going to be telling you Tatooine bedtime stories, by the way. You’ll remember creche stories as you grow, but these’ll be new.”

“I do believe that would be appropriate,” Ben says, laughing just a touch. “I also think we should perhaps disband this, unless you have something else to address. You’re going to be dealing with two very cranky younglings soon.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, we’re gonna have headaches after this,” Soka laughs, rubbing her face against his shoulder. “But it’s okay, we got what we ne--”

“No, shut up, what you do mean, headaches? You said that was only when you were awake!”

“I mean, we’d be sobbing after like three minutes if we were awake,” Soka says cheerfully. “This way, it’s been like... an hour or whatever between all the talking and the hugging and the crying and the feelings, and we’re just gonna be grumpy.”

“Oh my--wake up!” Anakin growls at both of them. “I’m responsible for you now, wake up.”

He ignores Soka’s laughter and drags himself back to wakefulness. Behind him, he feels slight confusion and pain mixed with love and delight. Ben starts fussing.

Anakin drags a hand over his face and groans. He gets to his feet, nods to the nurse droid, and steps over to the cribs.

“Can we put them in the same one until I get my arm back?” he asks. The droid obliges, moving Ben to Soka’s crib. She immediately crawls over to him and envelops him in a hug. She pouts up at Anakin, eyes going watery, and he drops into the chair next to her and offers his hand through the bars. She grabs it.

“You’re going to be trouble for a long, long time, huh?”

She sticks her tongue out at him, and he smiles at her. Yes, trouble in spades, his Snips.

He starts telling her one of the fables of Tatooine, the really sanitized ones meant for children her age, before they got to the slave stories and haunt-tales. She falls asleep for real, no Force Shenanigans, shortly after. Ben is dead to the world by that point, making small snuffling noises whenever the blanket tickles his nose.

Anakin knows he’s got the galaxy’s dopiest smile on his face. It’s fine.

It’s a few more hours before someone stops by. He’s used the fresher by that point, helped the nurse droid coax Ben through a feeding, and helped Soka play with the little stuffed eopie they’ve given her.

“They got names, aruetti?”

He looks up and over. “Yes.”

The middle-aged man ambles over, arms crossed. “Jango said you claimed to be all they had left.”

He is. “They’re family. I’ve had a few hours to think it over, now that I’m not getting shot at or dying in the snow. To any system that allows it, I’ll be their father.”

“No chance of returning them to their people?”

Anakin shakes his head. “Soka has none who would recognize her, and I already--I already babysat her regularly, and she thought of me as a brother. It’s an easy next step.”

“And the human?”

“I... the master-padawan relationship is often one that is compared to that of parent and child,” Anakin says carefully. “My own master was like a father to me, and Ben is... Ben is all I have left of him.”

There. Not quite the truth, but... technically not lying.

Ben makes a small noise in his sleep, fussing, and Anakin reaches through the bars to brush his thumb across the infant’s chubby cheek. He smiles helplessly as Ben whines and curls in tighter on himself, pressing a tiny fist to his mouth.

“You’re good,” Anakin whispers. “We’re fine, Ylliben.”

“I don’t know what you’re hiding,” the Mando says. “But I do believe you’re doing what you can for those kids.”

“That’s all that matters,” Anakin agrees, finally looking away from his... his son.

Mine, the greedy krayt in his chest whispers.

“When are you planning on going back to Coruscanta?”

“I’m not,” Anakin says, standing and looking the man head-on. Anakin’s taller than him. That’s usually useful. “I don’t know why, but the Force wants me to stay here, or at least with the Mandalorians.”

“You want me to believe that you support my cause?”

“I don’t know your cause,” Anakin admits. “But I don’t like Death Watch, and I know you don’t either. Nobody on Coruscant is going to know to miss me, and the Force is warning me away from trying to go back. Whatever it is that needs doing, I’m supposed to be doing it here.”

The man steps forward. “Anyone tell you who I am?”

“No.”

“I’m Jaster Mereel.”

Good for you, Anakin thinks, and doesn’t say. “I’m pretty sure you already know my name.”

“I do,” Mereel says. “Wanna tell me how a Knight with a seemingly valid ident card claims nobody will know to miss him?”

“No.”

Mereel doesn’t even blink. “Try that again.”

“It means exactly what I said,” Anakin says. “The ident card is real. My training and rank are earned and deserved and bestowed by protocol. All of it was done at the Temple in Coruscant, but if you phone up the Temple with my name and face, nobody will know who I am.”

“And you’re not going to tell me why,” Mereel grouses. “What’s stopping me from calling them up anyway and asking them to come fetch your hypothermic ass?”

“...the fact that I already offered to help you?” Anakin manages. “I... I did say that part, right? That I’d help?”

“What’s stopping you from wanting to go back? And don’t give me any of that ‘will of the force’ banthashit.”

“I broke the Code,” Anakain says. The words sit heavy in his mouth, but one of his violations is lesser than the other, and-- “I married, and we’re not supposed to do that. She’s... not around anymore, but it still stands that I did it.”

The Tuskens weigh on his mind, suddenly and intensely. He hasn’t thought about them in ages, has always pushed those memories down, down, down, but--

“And they won’t take you back?”

“They might,” Anakin admits. They probably would, with his full title and everything, especially if he told them about the future. “But they wouldn’t let me keep the kids.”

Understanding flickers. “Not allowed kids?”

“It’s not... technically against the code,” he hedges. “But they’d find out about my marriage while investigating my past--” maybe, he’s not sure what kind of investigation they’d justify for a complete stranger of a knight, especially to confirm the future, but if they had a psychometric so much as touch his saber or arm, once he gets those back, there’d be a risk, “--and after already breaking the code by marrying, they’d be far less willing to bend the rules about the babies.”

He doesn’t realize how likely the risk is until after he says it, because he’s just been focusing on staying alive and following the Force, but.. they’d want the kids in the creche. He’s broken the code enough that any investigation they set to prove he’s legitimately a Jedi Knight that isn’t recorded and isn’t in the system is going to uncover something through the Force. They might not let him keep his family.

“What are their names?”

“I already--”

“Jango kept his last name,” Mereel cuts him off. “Did yours?”

Anakin looks the man in the eye, and then attempts to cross his arms in response, to mirror the pose and hold his ground. Unfortunately, he’s forgotten that he’s only got the one arm, which is really kriffing irritating.

“I gave them my name,” he says. “They’ll know where they came from, but they are mine.”

Yeah, no shit they’ll know where they came from.

Mereel’s face twitches, but the man is unreadable in the Force. Still, there’s something in the air... “So, those names?”

“Sokanth and Ylliben Skywalker,” Anakin tells him. He spells it out when the droid asks. He assumes it’s just for the medical data their droids are collecting.

“How well can you fight without your laser sword?”

“You mean unarmed?” Anakin asks, and then smiles brightly and tauntingly and waves his empty sleeve around. Mereel does not appreciate the humor. “Pretty well, but I do better when I have the Force, and am not still recovering from hypothermia. And I’m a fair shot with a blaster, but no specialist.”

Mereel eyes him for a moment, and then nods. “One of my snipers is Force-Sensitive. Never was enough to get more than some basic training in mental shields and the control to not hurt herself, but when we mentioned bringing in a Jetii, someone asked her what she thought. Came by the room while you were unconscious and said she thought you felt sad, angry, and desperate... but that she had a good feeling about where you’d be going.”

“Sad, angry, and desperate?” Anakin repeats, a little offended.

“You act like a veteran, kid,” Mereel says. He shrugs. “Damn near everyone that goes through some kind of war has all that going on. S’normal. You got Kamira’s approval, though, and that means a damn sight more. Keep your secrets for now. We’ll get there eventually.”

No we won’t, Anakin thinks. Out loud, he asks, “So, how much of what kind of work would I have to do to borrow a ship to Tatooine and earn enough to free a slave girl?”

[emblemxeno]

JP vs. Localization in Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright

Again, here’s a link to my sources post.

This one is long, so I’ll put it all under the cut. If a chapter isn’t covered, it means I didn’t think there was any differences worth talking about. And shoutout to @teaveetamer for stuff I talk about under Chapter 16 regarding the illness that Takumi and Elise get infected with, since I think we discussed it a while back!

I’ll use localized names for characters and locations, unless I feel the need to do otherwise.

I’ll be using he/him when referring to Corrin in this post.

Chapter 8

-In the JP version, after it’s revealed that the Faceless were actually Wind Tribe people, Iago says that Corrin’s decision specifically devastated Xander and Elise, foreshadowing how integral those two in particular would be later in the plot. He then goes on to talk about how traitorous actions are not to be forgiven that easily. Localization just has him go on a hammy villainous rant complete with a silly end line “Oh, your ignorance does tickle me. Bwahahaha!”

-The JP version of Hinoka’s party introduction gives a sneak peek insight into their dynamic, where Hinoka explicitly says “I knew from the beginning that you weren’t cut out for the vanguard. I’ll just have to believe in myself!”, meaning she deliberately chose Setsuna and Azama knowing that she’ll have to do most of the heavy lifting as the direct combatant/protector. It’s a prominent character trait of Hinoka’s and it’s also neatly done in a gameplay sense given that she starts with the Guard Naginata, a defensive weapon. The localization cuts out this little nod to Hinoka’s role as her retainers’ protector, in favor of her making sarcastic remarks about how she has to babysit them.

Chapter 10

-In localization, after getting exorcised of corruption from Azura and her telling him how talented and smart he is in his own right, Takumi reacts in confusion and cockiness. In the JP version, he reacts with genuine happiness and relief, smiling portrait and all. And yes I think this is important, because Takumi being happy is very important, okay?

Chapter 12

-In the JP version when the group finds out Zola is a traitor but was still moved by Corrin’s genuine kindness, Corrin responds with an understanding that Zola at least changed a little, saying “Could it be… What Zola is saying, his manner of speaking has changed… Those words at least… could they be the truth?” In localization he acts kind of rude and says “What’s the matter, Zola? Conscience bothering you?” This is a common occurrence in Birthright’s localization, where Treehouse changed a lot of Corrin’s dialogue in terms of tone and word choice and he ends up sounding like a self-righteous jackass, something I really don’t appreciate.

Chapter 13

-This isn’t really about the chapter specifically, but another note on Treehouse making Corrin a weirdly different character. He is just... extremely obsessed with how Garon is treating people to the point that it overrides any and all topics otherwise. In his boss conversation with Camilla, after Camilla says that it was his choice that led to them fighting (which is true), Corrin makes the entire thing about Garon by saying “Can’t you see what Garon is doing? I had no choice!”

In just those two lines 1) Camilla’s grief about Corrin’s decision is thrown to the wayside, 2) Camilla is painted as an idiot for not seeing how obviously evil Garon is despite the fact that in just the previous chapter, Corrin got to see what Garon does to people who disobey him, and 3) Corrin’s authority on making a decision is removed by making it about Garon rather than about the familial bonds and personal values that Corrin has.

Saying he had no choice means more than you might think, especially in the game that has 3 completely different routes dependent on one decision. This is just one of many examples of how seemingly trivial line changes can mean a world of difference in greater context. And of course, this problem is only in localization. The JP version only has Corrin plead with Camilla to stand down because he doesn’t want to fight his sister.

Chapter 14

-In the JP version, Scarlet mentions that Chevalier (Cheve) used to train people from both Nohr and Hoshido alike as renowned knights, adding another friendly tie to Hoshido besides her grandfather serving Sumeragi. Localization has no mention of this.

-Benny and Charlotte having fuck all to do in BR other than get mowed over is already unfortunate, but in the JP version Benny actually says in his boss quote: “Sorry… I don’t have anything against you, but… If I disobey, I’ll die here… At the very least, let’s decide this with a single blow…” This is a nice acknowledgement of the shit that Nohrians have to deal with under Garon’s current rule, but it’s not in localization unfortunately. It’s not wholly necessary since by now it would be kind of obvious to the player what happens, but sometimes this fandom likes clear cut confirmation over reading into actions so whatever.

Chapter 16

-Takumi catching the illness from the Wolfskin is actually a localization only explanation. In the JP version, Sakura says it’s a rare disease that she’s only seen in medical books and has absolutely no idea why or how Takumi caught it. This actually supports the “Iago made Takumi sick” theory quite a bit in my eyes, since the same illness actually appears in FE Warriors and makes Rowan sick. But how does Rowan get sick? Well, there’s no Wolfskin/carrion explanation excuse in the game, but you know what-or rather, who-is in FE Warriors? Iago, playing both the Hoshido and Nohr siblings like fiddles while working for Gristonne, the main enemy country in Warriors (who would benefit greatly from Rowan dying in more ways than one tbh).  Pretty certain that it was Iago who made him (and Elise) sick all along now.

-In the JP version of chapter 16, Takumi’s delirious sleep talk actually makes reference to Anankos, saying  “What you see is… Not everything… Brother…… If you don’t defeat it- this fighting… won’t end…… True peace…… will never……”. I very much like how he says true peace is basically impossible without defeating this unseen threat, since it reinforces the notion that the war isn’t really the best result if you side with Hohisdo or Nohr. The localization only makes reference to the traitor subplot of Birthright... I think. The line is really vague and weird, with Takumi saying “Something’s not right... Look behind the curtain... ugh..”. Regardless, the more clear cut reference to Anankos’ machinations was altered, so blegh.

Chapter 17 (Holy fuck)

-In the JP version, the route that Flora leads the party on actually has a name! The road is called Turian. Not the most important information, but I think it’s cool.

-The conversation Corrin has with Ryoma about trust ends differently. The JP version has Ryoma say that Corrin doubting his friends is exactly what Nohr is expecting, and to not let it get to him. Corrin says that his head is clear and that he won’t doubt his friends anymore. The localization undercuts that entire thing by adding a new line at the end, with Corrin saying “The problem is my intuition is telling me that Iago wasn’t lying.” It messes with Birthright’s themes of trust and believing in others without doubt, and it was a wholly unnecessary addition in my eyes.

-In the JP version, Flora actually reveals that her getting attacked by Iago was all an elaborate set-up by the both of them in order to gain the party’s trust and lead them into the Ice Tribe’s trap. Localization doesn’t mention the set-up/faking being attacked part of this at all.

During the same conversation, in the JP version Felicia says that just like how Corrin chose his own path, she will do the same and find her own sense of justice. Localization... makes her speech about Garon’s atrocities instead of about her making her own choice. What the fuck.

In the JP version, Corrin’s pleas to Flora are about how he won’t doubt his friends anymore and that includes Flora (a deliberate continuation of the topic discussed in his earlier conversation with Ryoma). Localization, again, makes the speech about Garon, saying “But if we stick together, I promise we’ll have the strength to take him (Garon) on!” What. The. Fuck.

I know Garon is the main villain of the route, but why did Treehouse make literally everything regarding BR’s themes and character development about him. Especially in areas where it doesn’t make sense. Ugh, it’s so frustrating.

-Sigh... The post battle conversation for this chapter is just... such a different scene between the JP version and the localization and I’m exasperated. Let’s go down the list:

1) In the JP version, Corrin actually spared the other Ice Tribe people (the translation I’m looking at says helped, but it most likely means spared) because he sensed that it was painful for the Tribe to attack the party like that. Localization makes no mention of Corrin sparing or helping the people whatsoever.

2) In the JP version, Flora says that the reason why she had to make this awful choice is because Garon said she had to “take responsibility for her traitorous master”. It’s not an overly important piece of information, but it makes the consequences of Corrin’s choice sting that much more. Localization doesn’t mention this bit.

3) In the JP version, Corrin says “I’m sorry… It’s my fault for joining Hoshido. You didn’t do anything wrong, Flora. It was admirable of you to try and protect your people.” Localization has Corrin say “But Flora, how could you be sure that Garon would even keep his promise to spare your village?... None of this is your fault, Flora. I just wish you’d trusted that we could help you.” These line changes are fucking awful.

Not only does the localized line foist some of the blame/responsibility onto Flora when Corrin originally took all of it himself-since it’s in his character to be selfless and understanding-but it makes Flora sound like an untrusting dumbass instead of a victim of awful circumstances. Her “trusting” Corrin to help her has nothing to do with anything, she literally saw Corrin for the first time in forever just last chapter, and at that point the plan between her and Iago was in motion. But oh wait, I forgot, the reference to the set-up was also cut out in localization. Ugh, Christ above.

4) For this next point, let’s clear things up about Flora: She fucking hates herself for doing what she does in this chapter. Her self worth is in Hell’s basement. During the battle and especially after, she makes self-pitying remarks and calls her life worthless and miserable. This is the primary reason why she takes her own life. But what matters here is what triggers it. As mentioned above, in the JP version, Corrin says she’s very admirable for choosing to save her people at all costs. Flora in response says “…No. I’m not even a little bit admirable. No matter the reason, I turned my blade against Lord Corrin… …And deserve nothing but damnation.” Corrin unintentionally triggered her crippling self esteem during her lowest moment after having to make a choice that hurt her badly. She takes her own life because she couldn’t deal with the guilt and awful circumstances anymore.

And since localization cut out the part where Corrin says she’s admirable, the only reason now left that leads to her taking her own life is her betraying everyone, and not only is that a weaker reason, the lines Treehouse have her say make the entire scene melodramatic and not serious at all. Even though we’re literally watching a woman commit suicide in front of us.

5) Since we’re still not done with this butchering of a heart-wrenching scene, here’s what Flora says in the JP version as she’s burning:

Flora: “I’m sorry… Lord Corrin… Jakob… Felicia… Really, at that time… I’m glad we could speak again… […]  Thank you, Lord Corrin… For believing in me until the end… I… That made me happy more than anything else… Felicia, I leave it to you…[…]  It’s… okay… Felicia… I… Chose a path I should’ve never walked… This kind of atonement… is only natural…[…]  I… If it were possible… I wanted to walk the same path as you… With everyone together, with Lord Corrin… …………I love you… Felicia… Somehow, forgive your foolish sister for leaving you behind… From now on, always… I’ll watch over you… Only you… My… …………　…………”

Here is what she says in the localization:

Flora: “This is what I should have done the moment Garon threatened me. Perhaps I could have taken him out with me... […]  No, Lord Corrin. I finally feel at peace. […]  Please stop trying to save me. This is what I deserve. […]  Ughh... The end is near... Felicia... Lord Corrin... I regret...everything. …

I invite you to take from this comparison what you will, because I value you guys’ opinions on this stuff too.

As for me, I think it’s an utter travesty that in localization, once again a character’s big emotional moment is being shared with mentioning Garon, that Felicia-her fucking sister-barely gets talked to, that the theme of choice/walking your own path is completely cut out of this farewell, and that the entire scene doesn’t even read well as a whole. I don’t understand how this scene, and the chapter as a whole, got fucked up this bad.

Chapter 18

-I know there’s a lot of points for this one, but it’s mostly nitpicks lol. In localization, Corrin accuses Leo of “being blind to Garon’s lust for power.” It’s an extremely unnecessary line, imo and it’s not in the JP version at all. Garon’s way of doing things is mentioned, but Leo being “blind to his ways” is not.

-In the JP version, Azura assumes that Leo must know a way to defeat Xander, and outright says “Having such a great brother must have always troubled you after all… as his younger brother.” It’s another peek into Leo’s character when you wouldn’t otherwise get it in this route. Some might say it’s superfluous given the pre battle scenes, but since it relates to Xander and Leo’s dynamic, I don’t think it should’ve been cut in localization.

-There’s a lot of meta stuff in the chapter in regards to being in the light vs. being in the darkness, and it’s very on the nose. Localization keeps most of it, but it sadly cut out a line made by Corrin at the end where he says “…Leo. It might be impossible immediately. But someday, if you find the truth… Let me to comeback to this country confined in darkness… to bring light.” It’s serves as a neat reference to what Xander said all the way back in Chapter 2, where he said “It’s you who will bring light to our kingdom wrapped in darkness.”

-Also in the JP version when Corrin fights the retainers, he reacts with happiness upon seeing Odin again and plain confusion at Niles’ innuendos. In localization, he reacts with standoffishness towards Odin and disgust towards Niles, which is unfortunate for me personally since the chuuni trio all deserve unconditional love.

Chapter 19

-Nothing substantial again, but small hints regarding the Fire Emblem and the Rainbow Sage’s identity were cut out in localization so I thought I’d mention that.

Chapter 21

-In localization, other than the cartoon villain dialogue courtesy of Treehouse, Garon mentions a “Plan B” that will spring into action soon, and that he can’t wait to see the look on Corrin’s face when it does. We don’t know what he’s talking about, since it’s vague enough that he could be talking about literally anything. In the JP version however, he explicitly talks about the traitor among Corrin’s group. Garon is the main person monitoring Takumi’s mind control, not Iago, since y’know, Garon is possessed by Anankos. Hence why we get Diet Possessed Takumi in Birthright.

-The JP version mentions that the party is on a river heading towards the capital, which solves one of the biggest wtf questions I had since I was always confused why they were suddenly on a boat. Localization doesn’t mention the river at all. Though admittedly, the game’s weird pacing issues are also partially the devs fault since the river isn’t that well defined on the world map, since they decided to do a geographical world map for some reason. In this other official map you can see the river that divides the castle from the rest of the Kingdom much more easily (as well as the mountain that has the Demon Falls)

-In the JP version, Ryoma says multiple times that the Demon Falls used to be Notre Dia (Notre Sagesse) territory before Nohr seized it and the place became a home for monsters. Ryoma and Sakura then speculate that given that fact and the map the Rainbow Sage gave the party lead them here, that it’s no wonder that the Sage knew about the passage to Windmire and possibly even made it himself. Localization cuts out all mention of the Demon Falls being former Notre Dia (Notre Sagesse) territory, so this whole thing ends up looking more plot convenient than it was originally.

Chapter 22

-In the JP version, Elise reveals that after Arete died, Garon put up the Anankos statue in his room. This bit of information is cut in localization.

Chapter 24

-In the JP version, after striking down Lilith, Hans says that by defeating Corrin’s party, he hopes to get promoted more, getting his own territory and that his dream of becoming a king won’t be a dream anymore. So he actually does have a reason for why he’s a scumbag; a greedy and selfish reason, but it still makes him more of a character. Localization cuts this motivation out completely.

Chapter 25

-As I mentioned earlier, Garon was actually the main ringleader behind Takumi’s possession and betrayal cuz of the Anankos connection and cuz Takumi fell into the Bottomless Canyon. Localization sort of muddies this up by having Iago say “But the spell wouldn’t work without a kernel of dissatisfaction in his soul”, which makes it seem like Iago was the only one behind the possession, which isn’t completely true. In the JP version, Iago makes the ordeal more about Takumi’s resentment and inferiority complex, and how Corrin’s trust in people should be broken now that his brother did this. In fact, Iago’s dialogue before and during the battle ties extremely well to the themes of BR as a whole, with trust and the belief in the good of others being some of the main narrative points. Unfortunately though, lots of that was cut or altered in localization.

-Iago’s boss conversation with Takumi gives a bit more insight as to how Takumi leaked information, as well as a declaration of atonement from best boy:

Takumi: I’ll make you pay... How dare you... How dare you use me! Iago...

Iago: Hmph... Stubbornly regaining your consciousness like that... It would’ve been better, if you’d just stayed as my pawn until your death.

Takumi: When I was freed from your control, I remembered everything... How I’d send an owl with information of my whereabouts every night. How I’d lose all memory of it every morning. How I suspected my allies without knowing I was the traitor all along... What an absolute disgrace...

Iago: Then repent for your sins and quickly die. Isn’t that better than living a life of shame?

Takumi: Shut up! I’ll live and atone for these sins!! First, I’ll defeat you... And for everything I’ve done, I’ll put an end to it!

Chapter 26

-Aside from certain word choices making the tone different and Peri’s death quote being much sweeter in JP, I actually don’t have much to say regarding localization here, except for one thing:

In the JP version, Xander-during his final moments-eventually says “I could not choose a compromise with you…To choose a path against this country… No, a path against Father, was forbidden to me…”.  This is a very important insight to Xander’s relationship with their kingdom and Garon, one of the few times you get a glimpse of it in a route that isn’t Conquest. It sucks that this line in particular was altered, and it’s one of many changed lines in localization that gets used against Xander because people think his loyalty is the only thing holding him back.

Chapter 27

-I’ve always thought the endgame chapters of Birthright are the weakest of the three localization or otherwise (though the JP version still reads a lot better) due to how... underwhelming the scenes are compared to the everything that’s happened before, but there’s still a couple things I wanna mention. In the JP version, when Garon says Xander and Elise were great pawns, he mentions how he “only needed to pass down his blood, nothing more and nothing less.” I... actually don’t know what this relates to, be it just the general power of dragon veins or something similar to what Garon offered Gunter. But I thought it was interesting regardless.

-The JP version actually has a pretty cool line from Ryoma that ties into the Yato’s evolution, something I thought was kind of wonky in Birthright as a whole, but this saves it.

So, the entire route Ryoma has basically been this paragon of perfection, always gave the best advice possible and was strong enough to do pretty much anything on his own. But this chapter is the first time in the story where he feels powerless and doesn’t have an answer; his attempt at negotiation is met with an attack from Garon and a demand of surrender.

When Corrin is desperate and starts wishing for more power, Ryoma says “Corrin... Yes. I feel the same way... If only I had more power... Then, I, too, can save Azura and everyone else...!”

It’s an acknowledgement that, for once, Ryoma can’t do something himself; his power isn’t enough. Ryoma’s admittance that he can’t do things alone anymore-a narrative extension of Birthright’s other themes, acceptance and unity/collaboration-is what triggers the Yato into transforming into it’s Hoshido form. It’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it line of dialogue, but it works and it meshes well with Ryoma’s own personal arc of acceptance and tolerance.

In localization Ryoma just says “You’re right. We need more power...” On the surface the intent is the same, but changing ‘I need more power to save everyone’ to ‘We need more power’ takes away his self-recognition of weakness, which ultimately does him a disservice.

Endgame/Epilogue

-In the JP version, Leo and Camilla express that they have lingering resentment/bitter feelings towards Hoshido and Corrin because of all that’s happened. Localization cuts this out in favor of Camilla asking Corrin how he feels about everything instead. It really sucks considering that the line is supposed to be an equivalent to what Hinoka says at the end of Conquest, so changing it kind of bogs down that exchange for me.

-In the JP version, Azura explicitly asks Corrin if he can see the Invisible Kingdom (Valla) that he couldn’t before in the lake; I guess since she’s passed on she has nothing left to lose. Localization makes what she wants him to see much more vague.

[sunmoonandeddie]

feelings are fatal (20/24)

pairing: bucky barnes x reader, past steve rogers x reader

word count: 4,030

summary: After the events of Endgame, you struggle to come to terms with what you’ve lost, though you’re learning that you still have something to gain.

chapter warnings: swearing, violence, fluffiness

masterlist

a/n: I really hope

There was something to be said about how much Bucky Barnes cared for the people in his life that he considered his friends, his family.

Hell, he’d jumped out of many, many aircrafts for Sam, even though he wouldn’t admit it was for him.

He sent his therapist flowers and a gift for her birthday, despite the fact that more than half the time, they just annoyed the shit out of each other.

The amount of times he’d pulled you out of a funk was… Well, there was a lot.

However, there was also something to be said about how overboard Bucky Barnes could go when someone he loved had gotten hurt.

Or kidnapped by a Nazi terrorist organization and almost shot in front of him.

“Alright, you’re all tucked in,” he muttered under his breath, even as he went around the bed once again, his hands carefully tucking in your comforter all over again. “There we go… Are you comfortable? Too warm? Not warm enough?”

He’d been hovering the past four days since you’d gotten out of the medbay, and the five days before that when you’d been in and out of unconsciousness.

God, the feelings that had washed over you when you’d woken up again and found that he was back and your Soldat was gone. It was so bittersweet. You loved both of them, even if it was in different ways. Different shades, different tones of love.

You just kept telling yourself that the Soldat was right.

It was time for him to rest. Your time together was over.

But that in itself meant that it was time for something new to begin.

If only you could find a way to tell Bucky how you truly felt.

You watched him with your eyelids half closed, a drowsiness slurring your words as you laid there. “Jamie… Can you stop for a moment?” You don’t even think about how your words might make him feel, how they might sound.

“Oh… Right. Sorry if I’m annoying you,” he said, his voice dropping to where it was almost inaudible. He started to head for the door, having set down the water bottle in his hands.

“What?! No!” You said, quickly sitting up. You still felt like absolute shit, but you couldn’t let him leave. “I’m sorry. That’s not the words I wanted to come out. I… I just want you to relax for a moment. I��m okay.” Pulling your arm out of the warmth of your blankets, you patted the spot next to you. “Can we just… lay down and watch a movie for a bit?”

Bucky’s baby blues softened immediately, and he nodded, toeing off his sneakers. “Of course. I’m sorry… I’ve been…”

“Helicopter parenting?”

His cheeks flamed fire engine red as he slipped into the bed beside you, hesitating before pulling the blankets over him. “I don’t know if I like the parenting aspect of that,” he muttered, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you close. “FRI, can you turn on a movie?”

“Legally Blonde,” you added without a second thought, grinning at the confused look that painted his face. “Have you never seen Legally Blonde?”

“What? No? What the fuck is a Legally Blonde?” He asked. And, okay, yeah, he could gather from the context that it was a movie, most likely a girly one based on the title, but he loved the way you looked so aghast and the way you laughed at his old man tendencies.

“Only the greatest early 2000s chick flick of all time!” You squealed, playfully smacking his chest.

A wave of contentment, of happiness, washed over you as you laid half on his chest to watch the movie. His fingers were absentmindedly running up and down your spine, his breath tickling your forehead.

And it hit you that you could have this for the rest of your life. You could have this happiness, this peace, for the rest of your life with the man that was holding you.

Once again, you just needed to figure out how to tell him how you felt.

“Wait… So he broke up with her because she wasn’t… serious enough?” Bucky asked, his brows furrowed. “Or because she was too pretty and girly?”

“Both,” you said, glancing up at his face. “He sucks.”

“Yeah, he fucking does.”

When the movie ended, you sat up, risking a glance at Bucky’s face. “Well? What did you think?”

He couldn’t help but shake his head, groaning dramatically. “If Sam finds out that I’m a fan of early 2000s chick flicks, he’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

Oh, this was good. So, so good.

“Jamie, I’ve watched Legally Blonde and other chick flicks with Sam. He loves them,” you revealed, watching the way his eyes lit up.

“There’s more?!”

You took it upon yourself to show him the best of the late 90s and early 2000s, finding that when he was distracted with tales of cheesy romance and girl power triumphing, he wasn’t so worried about your health.

But he did have a few problems with Clueless. “Let me get this straight,” he said with a scowl as he held you close in between his legs. “She’s… still in high school. Sixteen, right?”

“Mmhmm.”

“And he was her step-brother?”

“Yes.”

“And… he is still treated like her step-brother by her father?”

“Yeah.”

He blinked owlishly at the television that hung up on your wall, his mouth hanging open in an astonished ‘o.’ “And people just…”

“Decide to ignore that bit? Yup,” you supplied, turning your head to look up at him.

He frowned, tightening his hold around you. “I really don’t know how to feel about that. It’s a good movie. But…” His head then slightly cocked to the side. “Her step-brother looks like that one guy that helped us at the fight in Germany… You know, the one at the airport?”

“You don’t even remember Scott’s name?!” You asked, snorting. “You really are an old man.”

His fingers flew to your sides, tickling you mercilessly. “Yeah?! And what about it?! Huh? Huh?” When he finally stopped and your laughter had died out, he hid his face in the crook of your neck and took in a deep breath. “I missed you… when you were gone… Sometimes I forget just how integral you are to my life, but that… Being without you reminded me of how desolate my days were when we were separated before.”

Heart clenching, you squeezed his flesh arm with both of yours, resolving yourself to not move the rest of the day. You’d quickly come to the conclusion that cuddling with James Barnes could be considered one of the great pleasures in life. “Well, we’ll never have to be apart again,” you murmured, closing your eyes. “What if… What if we took some time away? And we went on a little… vacation or something?”

“A vacation?” He said, and you could feel his heart rate speed up underneath your head. A vibranium hand smoothed over your hair. “Where do you wanna go?”

“I don’t know…,” you admitted with a snort, shaking your head. “Just… away. Give us time to relax and really… I don’t know. Process?” Your eyes fluttered shut at his soothing touch. “Maybe we could go up to the cabin for a few days… maybe a week…”

“Yeah? You wanna stay a whole week with just me for company?” He asked playfully, even though he felt like his spirit was soaring.

Biting your lip, you pulled your knees up to your chest until your entire body was pressed against his chest. “Could spend my whole life with just you for company, Jamie.”

He’d understand, right? He’d understand that you meant ‘I love you.’ He’d understand the words that you were trying to say but were too nervous to get out, that your throat closed up and your eyes burned because the last person you said those words to in that way had demolished your heart, your soul?

But then again, he’d been the one to teach you what those words meant in the first place. Well, the Soldat had.

Bucky’s entire face was pink, all the way to the tips of his ears, and he leaned down and kissed your forehead. “Me, too, malen’kaya.”

You reached up to run your fingers through his hair. It had grown out since his last haircut, and it was getting to be about ear length. “You know who you look like right now kinda?” You asked, an impish smile on your lips.

“Who?” He was clearly already anticipating the worst, even though he was letting his head tip forward to let you continue playing with his hair.

“Prince Kit or whatever his name is.” You were preening as your foreheads pressed together, his breathing even as you massaged his scalp. “From the new live action Cinderella.”

You can hear the smile, even though you can’t see his face. “You think I look like a prince?”

“Don’t get cocky on me now,” you shot back. But, in truth… You liked this side of Bucky. You had caught little glimpses of it when you were on the run with Steve, Sam, and Natasha. But this felt like the real him, and you loved it.

And as far as you were concerned, he could be as cocky as he wanted to be.

“Let me check with your doctors and get their opinion on when they think you’ll be okay to travel,” he said, his lips pressing to your hair. “And then I’ll talk to Pepper about letting us steal the cabin for a bit…”

A huff escapes your lips as you tug on his hair in retaliation. “Do you really think Pepper isn’t gonna let us stay there for a bit?”

You missed the way his breathing had hitched and his heart had skipped a beat, and he nuzzled into your hair to hide himself even more. “No, but it’s still nice to ask, you heathen.”

“Soldat, where are we going?” You asked curiously as you were led out of your ballet class, your hair still pulled back into a tight bun. “What’s going on?”

“No time to talk. We have a mission,” he said sternly, his voice deep and gravelly.

A mission?

You’d never been on a mission.

“Wait, are we leaving the Red Room?” You asked, glancing at the handlers that flanked the both of you. “Where are we going?”

“Do you understand the phrase ‘no time to talk?’” The Soldat asked with a snort, shooting you a glare.

Something was off.

The Soldat and you had been training together for over two years now, almost three, and you’d never gone on a mission.

Also, he never spoke so harshly unless there was something wrong or there were others present, and the handlers around you weren’t important enough for him to put up the mean teacher facade. No, there was something else going on.

Two hulking doors were waiting at the end of the hallway, leading to the outside world. Snow was swirling outside, frost painting the windows.

And you were still in just your leotard and tights. Fuck.

Of course, they weren’t gonna give you time to change.

You hadn’t even been outside of the Red Room since you were a toddler. Hell, you didn’t even own any cold weather clothes.

The doors opened, and you let out a sharp gasp as the icy cold wind hit you. In your peripheral, you could see the Soldat look at you and immediately move to take off his jacket, before remembering who was around and stopping himself.

It was a nice thought, knowing that if he could, he’d warm you.

Maybe you could daydream about him scooping you up, holding you in his lap… He’d run his fingers over your hair, his other hand smoothing up and down your back. That deep, gravelly voice you loved so much would murmur sweet things to you, his lips tickling your ear…

God, your little crush was getting out of hand.

Snow covered your hair as you were led out to a van that was waiting for you, smoke coming out of the exhaust pipe as the headlights shone through the dense white landscape. One of the handlers shoved your head down as you were pushed into the back seat, the Soldat following right after. A thich, kevlar covered thigh pressed against yours as you settled in. Pretending to not be cold was becoming a lot harder than you thought it would be.

“So… What exactly are we doing?” You asked tentatively after about ten minutes of terse silence.

“You’re our bait,” one of the men said simply, cocking his gun.

Ice cold water ran down your spine as you blinked at him. “Bait? What… What do you mean?” You could feel the Soldat’s thigh tense beside you, and you realized that he had known.

That’s why he’d been so cold, even beyond the fact that there were others present.

“It means you’re going to be bait,” another man said with an eye roll.

“Well, I mean… When you say bait, do you mean like bait that can be reused so you keep it alive or bait like a worm that ends up dead on a hook?” You said, your arms crossed over your chest. Being sarcastic probably wasn’t the best thing you could do at the moment, but whatever. If you were gonna die, you might as well die with a few good one-liners.

Beside you, the Soldat’s chest jolted, his lips pressed together as though he was trying to stifle a laugh.

See, you knew he’d get your humor immediately.

“Guess we’ll just have to see how well you behave,” the first man snapped, his voice threatening.

When you finally arrived at your location, it was several hours later, and you’d passed out, your head lolling back against the seat. You jolted awake when the van stopped, realizing that the sun had set. “Where are we?”

No answer.

“Great talk.” One of the handlers yanks you out of the van, pulling you over the Soldat’s lap and almost dislocating your shoulder in the process. “Fuck! You didn’t have to manhandle me, you asshole!” You’re not shocked when his hand meets your cheek, though you do have to take a moment to take a breath. “Can you just tell me what I have to do so I can do it and we can leave?”

The mission is simple enough, at least on your end. Apparently, there were a few vigilantes running around that Hydra needed gone.

And what vigilante doesn’t love a young damsel in distress?

It’s over before you realize, and you’re hit with a deep realization.

You had wanted the vigilantes to win, just for a second or two. You had wanted them to win and maybe you’d get to go somewhere where you weren’t almost killed everyday, where you were handcuffed to your bed each night, and where most meals consisted of protein shakes.

But only if it meant the Soldat could be rescued with you.

“We’re not going back tonight?” You asked in surprise when the van pulled up to a seedy motel.

“No,” one of the men said with an eye roll. “Don’t feel like driving.”

You were left alone in the car with the Soldat as the men went to get a room, but you didn’t mind. “Are you okay?” You asked softly, eyes flickering up to meet his.

The man grunted, his lips pressed into a thin line as he kept his face forward, watching for the men to come back. But his hand slowly moved down his thigh until you felt cool metal, and his pinky linked around yours.

It stays there until the men come back, and he lets go at the right second, as the van door is starting to open.

“Come on,” one of the men grumbled, leading you two down the length of the motel. “This is where you two will be staying,” he said as he opened up a door.

Brows furrowing, you looked up at him. “What? Alone?” They trusted you like that? You were going to be staying the night with your crush in a room alone?

“Just don’t get her pregnant. She won’t go through graduation for another few months,” another one taunted, letting out a loud, obnoxious laugh. They all looked the same, and sounded the same. Like Hydra had created a bunch of clones. “And you know what to do if she tries to escape, Soldat.”

There was a rock in the pit of your stomach as you walked into the room.

The men had left you alone with the Soldat because they thought he’d have sex with you.

They thought he’d already had sex with you, despite the fact that you were just seventeen.

And your Soldat wasn’t like that. Despite the fact that you were (admittedly) in love with him, and despite the fact that you’d heard of the other Soldats having… pleasure women, you knew that he’d never touch you.

Not like that.

That was the only thing that relaxed you as you walked into the room and the door shut behind the hulking man, a dim yellow light casting shadows all around the room.

“I’m not—”

“I know,” you said as you turned to him, cutting him off. “I know you’re not going to… do that. I trust you.”

He slowly nodded, a weak smile spreading over his lips, and it occurred to you that it was possible that no one had ever told him that they trusted him.

At least there were two beds, because you didn’t think your little heart could handle sleeping so close to him. God forbid you wake up cuddling him. You’d be absolutely mortified.

“I’m gonna grab a shower,” you said, pointing to the bathroom. You didn’t wait for a response before speeding over and shutting and locking the door. Fuck. You were gonna have to sleep in your leotard since you didn’t have any other clothing with you.

The shampoo and conditioner the motel provided smelled like nothing, and the body wash and face wash were the same. Even so, you took your time lathering and scrubbing and washing, taking a shower that was longer than five minutes or so for the first time.

It had been over an hour by the time you got out, every inch of your body scrubbed and then scrubbed again. It probably wasn’t good for your hair, but you washed it twice, just because you could.

What you were most surprised by was the few suitcases that were on the bed closest to the inside wall when you got out, redressed in your leotard.

“What is this?” You asked the Soldat, who had stripped out of his leather and kevlar and was just wearing his cargo pants and a white shirt.

“You didn’t have clothes,” he said bluntly, glancing over at you as he sharpened his knife on the cheap chair.

“Where did you get these?”

“Lost and found. I just grabbed a few in case one didn’t have what you needed.”

Sometimes you forgot just how caring he could be in little ways.

“Thank you,” you said with a grateful smile as you moved to dig through them, eventually moving to the bathroom to change into a fresh pair of underwear and a huge t-shirt and shorts. “How do I look?” You asked as you came out, striking a dramatic pose.

The ghost of a smile appeared on his lips as he looked up at you. “Radiant,” he said after a moment, having thought of the perfect word. “You always are.”

Why the hell did he have to say such things when you knew you couldn’t be with him? You were too young, and the likelihood of Madame B allowing you to be together was… zero.

He motioned for you to get in the bed farthest away from the window. “You need rest, malen’kaya. I will keep watch.” After watching you crawl under the blankets and cuddle up to your pillows, he moved to sit on the bed, caressing your cheek. “Sleep… I will be here when you wake…”

“Sometimes I forget just how fucking beautiful it is out here,” Bucky said with a breathy laugh as he pulled up the long drive to the Stark Cabin. The sun was glittering out on the lake, the leaves just beginning to turn shades of ruby and gold. He threw the car into park and rushed around to your side to open the door and help you out before you could even blink.

The look you gave him didn’t do much as you placed your hand in his. It had only been a few days since he’d even let you get out of bed on your own and walk around.

As much as you loved him carrying you around like a blushing bride, it became a bit much when he was carrying you to the bathroom because you had to pee.

“It feels like so long ago… last time we were here,” you said as you watched him grab your bags.

He barely let you walk, there was no way in hell he’d let you carry your own duffel bag.

“What are you feeling for dinner?” He asked as he led you inside, setting your bags on the couch for the time being. “I was thinking maybe I could whip up some of that creamy chive chicken I made the other week? You liked that, right?” Bucky seemed to have a nervous energy running through him as he moved to the kitchen and began to figure out what they had. “I’ll need to have some groceries delivered…”

“Anything’s good with me,” you said faintly as you watched him, leaning against the doorway. “I’m really glad we decided to do this… It feels nice… getting away from everything for a little bit…” Your cheeks flushed as you glanced at the ground, arms crossing over your chest. “I mean… I love our family. You know I do. But—”

“It can get loud and crowded,” he finished, a kind smile on his face. “I get it.”

There’s a light inside your chest as you move further into the kitchen, giggling as his hands immediately go to your waist and lift you up onto the counter. “I knew you would.”

Bucky glanced up from his phone, having put in the grocery order faster than you expected. His vibranium hand rested on your thigh, and he gave a gentle squeeze. “You in the mood for a drink while we wait on dinner supplies?”

“Depends, bartender. What are you making?” You asked, letting your legs kick back and forth. You had to do something to prevent yourself from wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him close.

Would he ravish you like in the dreams you sometimes occasionally but totally-not-often had?

“Baby doll, I can make whatever magic potion you want,” he said, winking. His lips found a place on your cheek, letting it linger before he left your side, his hand leaving behind a warm spot on your thigh that felt empty without it. The way he moved around the cabin, so confidently, was such a far cry from when you’d been spending a few days in the guest rooms after the final battle.

It was fucking hot.

You were barely paying attention as he listed off cocktails and various concoctions.

“Malen’kaya? You there?” He called out, though you didn’t really hear him as he said your name.

It wasn’t until a floorboard creaked under his weight that you focused back in on the present. “Huh? Just… whatever you think I’ll like. I trust you,” you said, rubbing your hands nervously on your thighs.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” you said as your tongue wetted your lower lip.

“Okay, if you say so,” he said as he glanced back at you with a fond smile, his blue eyes sparkling with mirth. “And… I agree.”

Your head tilted to the side. “Agree about what?”

“I’m really glad we decided to do this.”

[spageddy]

theres a very thin line between things being scary or goofy in media. i think it happens more often that things are intended to be scary but end up coming across as goofy, though it can go the other way every once in a while (i.e. in terribly 3d animated childrens shows). but its sooo easy for horror to slip into comedy. why is that? why are there so many bad 2 sentence horror stories on reddit? why does the example below make me laugh instead of shudder with fear? in this essay i will-- i dont really know i’m just stream of consciousing it. i dont know what im trying to prove but i hope to come to some sort of conclusion by the end of this post

so. case study time. this story has elements of horror in it. serial killers are scary. your friend bursting into flames in front of you could be considered scary, though i’d argue it’s more sad than frightening. even before we get to the punchline, though, the horror of the situation is already lost on me for 2 reasons: 1. it’s kind of ridiculous. i guess it’s within the realm of possibility for a serial killer to set someone on fire in front of their friend, but the narrative hasn’t given me a convincing set up for this act to occur. there’s no context. 2. probably connected to lack of context, it’s detached from my own reality. the thought of having my friend set on fire by a serial killer is not really something that keeps me awake at night. what’s the more primal fear that this story is trying to tap into? is it fear of loss? fire? of getting murdered? it’s too unclear, and the second sentence of the story does nothing to clarify it.

the conclusion, “wait, who is micheal?” derails all expectations for an introduction setting up a story about murder (this unexpectedness, coupled with its complete failure in its attempt at horror, is what lends it its comedic value). now the “horror” of the situation lies not in michael being killed, but in the narrator not knowing who michael is: fear of the unknown, or perhaps fear of memory loss. 

i’ll admit i’m scared of the unknown sometimes, but this story doesn’t exactly have me shaking in my thigh high boots. why? 1. we already know who michael is. he’s the narrator’s friend. not a malicious guy at all, so why would we be scared to not know who he is? 2. the narrator just suddenly doesn’t know who michael is after already explaining their relationship. i’m more confused by this than anything. 3. whiplash from the first sentence. 4. no resolution. ignoring the fact that he was already stated to be the narrator’s friend, we don’t ever get to find out who michael is and why it should be scary to not know who he is. 

this story is a pastiche of the horror genre, utilizing various scary elements but arranging them in a way that completely negates their scariness. if we can extrapolate from this absurd example, i think this is generally the case with a lot of horror stories that fall short of really terrifying us. the elements are there, but they never tap into the more primal root of our fears. an aspiring horror writer might watch a scary movie and think it was scary because it was shocking, then try to incorporate shock into their own story. but being shocked isn’t inherently scary, it’s being shocked by something we’re already scared of and poses a direct and eminent threat, like realizing the tickling sensation you’ve felt for the past 30 minutes wasn’t your leg hairs, but a brown recluse spider. it’s not enough to include scary things in a story, you gotta get people in the zone. autozone

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Laito Dark [Prologue]

ー The scene starts in the forest

Yui: ( ...I made it to the Demon World, but what should I do now...? )

( They always escorted me to their castle in the past, so I don’t know the way either... )

( Running away was the only thing on my mind, so I came here without giving it a second thought, but perhaps I made the wrong choice after all... )

ーー Guess I have no other choice but to proceed for now.

*Rustle*

Yui: !?

( Don’t tell me Wolves have made it this far...!? )

ー She starts running

Yui: Haah, haah...

( ...Seems like they’re not coming after me...Thank god... )

Haah...I’m kind of tired...

( Perhaps I should find shelter somewhere and wait for the sun to rise...Then I’ll continue my search for the castle once it’s light ouーー )

( Ah, but...But if I recall correctly, the nights here last much longer than those in the human world... )

What now...?

( For now, I’ll find a safe space to rest. There’s no point in aimlessly running around... )

ー The scene shifts to a cave

Yui: Haah...What should I do next?

( I wonder if I should just head back? Even if I continue to wander around here... )

( However, that’s where those Wolves are... )

Uu...

( It’s no use. I can’t come up with any good ideas while mentally exhausted... )

( ...I’ll rest up a little. )

Haah...I wonder what Laito-kun’s doing right now...?

ー Yui closes her eyes

*TIMESKIP*

???: Kukukuku...How lovely...Honestly...Why is a girl’s lonely expression just soーー

ーー irresistibly sexy, I wonder? I can’t get enough of it.

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: Nn...

*Rustle*

Yui: Nn...Stop...

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: It tickles...

( ーー Wait...!? )

( Something is...feeling me up...!? )

ー She opens her eyes

Yui: Kyaaaaah....!!!

???: Uwah...!?

*Thud*

Yui: ...!! Eh...!?

Laito: Owowow...How could you suddenly jump up like that, Bitch-chan...? You meanie...

Yui: L-Laito-kun...!?

Laito: I took a heavy blow right to the face as a result...

Yui: I...I’m sorry. Are you alright?

Laito: Uuu...I’m fine...

Yui: Haah, thank god...

Laito: I know I’ve only got myself to blame for trying to assault you in your sleep but...

Even so, your headbutt was nothing to scoff at.

Yui: ...Sorry. I was surprised when I felt something touch my body...

More importantly, when did you get here?

Laito: Eh? Quite some time ago?

Yui: Eh!? No way...You should have woken me up then.

Laito: I mean, that would have been a missed opportunity, no~?

Yui: A missed opportunity? Wait, how so?

Laito: This situation, obviously! Nfu~

Yui: ...!?

Laito: My cute Bitch-chan finds herself in unknown territory...

With nobody to come to her rescue, she has to spend a night full of insecurities all by herself.

Just the thought of that gives me the shivers! Don’t you feel the same?

Yui: I-I don’t...! I was really scared, you know...!?

Laito: Oh dear~? Are you mad at me?

Yui: W...Well...

( For as lonely as I felt by myself, seeing Laito-kun still be his usual self makes me feel extremely relieved. )

( I could never get upset at him... )

I’m not angry.

Laito: Fufu...Of course you aren’t~ You just love me after all.

Yui: ...How about you?

Laito: What about me?

Yui: ...Do you also...?

Laito: What’s this? You want to confirm it? I’ve said it plenty of times before, haven’t I?

Yui: Butーー

Laito: Nfu...You’re uncertain, aren’t you? ...I can tell...Nn.

*Smooch*

Yui: ( Laito-kun... )

Laito: Of course ーー I love you. (1) A lot, okay?

Feeling reassured now? Nfu~

Yui: Yeah...Thank you.

Laito: Haah, I thought we were going to be apart for a while but...Our reunion came quicker than I expected...

Yui: I’m sorry for coming here on a whim. The Wolves made it to the manor...

Laito: Oh no, Bitch-chan. This is what you should say instead.

‘I missed you so much, I couldn’t stand being apart...So while I was thinking of you...

I subconsciously found myself opening the gate to the Demon World.’ ...Something like that?

ーー Say, tell me. I know we weren’t apart for long, but while you were by yourself...You thought of me, didn’t you?

Yui: Well, of course...

Laito: Did you let your imagination run wild during those times?

Yui: Well...

Laito: You didn’t?

Yui: ...I-I didn’t have the time to...

Laito: Really?

Yui: I don’t lie...

Laito: Fufu...Bitch-chan, no point in hiding it~

I can tell. The fact that your face is flushed as red as a strawberry right now proves my point.

You see...While feeling sad from noticing how my scent slowly faded from your own body.

Your feelings for me should have only grown stronger...

...Just like mine did...Haah...

ー He takes in her scent

Yui: Laito-kun, that tickles...

Laito: You don’t like it?

Yui: Uu...

Laito: Say, Bitch-chan? Should I not put myself at ease by taking in your scent like this?

Yui: ( He really sees right through me... )

Laito: Kukuku....A prisoner of love, you’re completely in my grasp, aren’t you?

ーー I don’t think I have to say this...But you have me in your grasp as well.

The truth is, I was worried you might just follow me here, so I’ve been keeping an eye on you.

Yui: Eh...!? T-Then...You’ve been watching me ever since I set foot inside this world...?

Laito: Exactly. I was watching over you.

I figured you’d come. You can no longer bear being away from me after all.

Yui: ...

Laito: Having trouble proving me wrong because I hit the nail on the head?

Yui: Yup.

Laito: ...Why the haphazard response?

I bet you want to try and defend your case, but you find it too much trouble, don’t you?

Yui: Uu...I-I mean, no matter what kind of response I give, I can’t talk my way out... (2)

Laito: Nfufu~ You seem to know me very well, Bitch-chan.

As to be expected of my Yui-chan~!

Yui: ( ...He seems very happy... )

( I guess I can take this as him genuinely accepting my feelings? )

( In that case, I’m happy too... )

Laito: Bitch-chan, are you listening?

Yui: Ah, yeah. I am.

Laito: Really? I hope soーー

*HOOOOWL*

Laito: Whoops...It’d be troublesome if those Wolves were to show up...

Come on. Let’s go.

Yui: Yeah!

( I really am glad Laito-kun came for me. Now I can rest assured, right? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the living room of the Sakamaki manor

Yui: ーー Wait...W-Why? We came back.

Laito: Nfu~ Exactly. That was my plan all along after all.

Yui: Is this...okay?

Laito: Hmー Let me think.

What if you’re attacked by those Wolves like Ayato-kun was...?

Laito: Well, I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it...?

Yui: Laito-kun!

Laito: Just kidding~ It was a joke.

But you know, I might just prefer being roughened up by those Wolves over having to stay at that castle.

ーー I’d rather not have to stay there for an extended period of time.

Yui: ...

Laito: Say, you feel the same way, don’t you? Rather than being stuck at that castle crawling with Vampires...

...you’d much rather indulge in some sweet private time with me here, don’t you?

ー He steps closer

Yui: ( He’s trying to beg the question. )

( I guess he really must not want to stay at that castle... )

Right. Let’s do that then?

Laito: Nfu~ You’re good at matching someone’s vibe, aren’t you? I don’t hate that, you know?

*Rustle*

Yui: Laito-kun...

Laito: Yes?

Yui: I like you.

Laito: Fufu... ーー So do I...Nn.

*Smooch*

Yui: ...

Laito: Yui-chan...

*Rustle*

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Yui’s room

Laito: ーー That being said, this place sure has known better times...The whole manor has been turned upside down...

I think Reiji would have a mental breakdown if he saw this. Nfu~

Yui: We have to try and tidy things up step by step, otherwise we won’t be able to properly live here.

Laito: Good point. However, I don’t dislike the thought of living in this mess of a manor.

Yui: Eeh!? W-What makes you say that!?

Laito: Just try imagining it! What it would feel like to ‘have some fun’ (3) in a room which has been turned upside down~ 

As you find yourself amidst not-so-ideal circumstances, you suddenly experience a strong desire for carnal pleasure and you eagerlyーー

Yui: S-Stop right there! I’ve heard enough!

Laito: Eeh? I was just about to get to the juicy part though?

Yui: M-More importantly, I wonder if those Wolves won’t come here anymore?

Laito: I’m sure we’ll be fine for a while. However, if we stay here too long, they might find us eventually.

Yui: Right...

Laito: So, I had a great idea.

All of the Vampires who live around this area have retreated back to the Demon World.

In other words, their manor is currently uninhabited, right? So why don’t we go live there?

Yui: You mean we could go to the manor of the Mukami’s, for example?

Laito: Nfu~ Exactly!

We stay here for a bit first, then go to the Mukami’s place after. Honestly, I wouldn’t even mind returning to your childhood home for a bit.

Yui: I see...If we go from one place to another, it’d be more difficult for them to track us down.

Laito: I think it’s an almost disgustingly good idea, if I may say so myself.

Yui: However, are we sure we can just invite ourselves in...?

Laito: It kind of gets me all excited! It’s like we’re eloping together. Nfufu~ 

Yui: ( He’s not listening at all. )

( We don’t know when the Wolves will make their move, so we have to stay on guard as long as we don’t know what exactly they’re after. )

( I can only pray life will be back to normal soon... )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) This might just be a stylistic choice, but when Laito says 愛してる or ‘aishiteru’, it isn’t written in kanji as it is in all other routes, but in Katakana. This is quite odd/uncommon because usually Katakana is used for foreign words or words borrowed from another language.

I’m sure there are other people who could do a better analysis of this, but I do think it’s written like this because Laito saying those words is also somewhat surreal in itself? So by writing the word in Katakana, it reflects that sense of ‘strangeness’. 

(2) Literally she says that she can’t escape his ‘pace’. 

(3) もつれ合う or ‘motsue-au’ literally means ‘to get entangled’. I mostly found it in context of tangled vines, etc. but I think we all know what Laito implies here. :p

<- [ Prologue ] [ Dark 01 ] ->

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”