#this isnt targeted lol

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[sibswin]

Btw if I ever take a while to respond to you, whether on asks or DMs, dont assume im deliberately ignoring you or anything - this might just be me overthinking things heavily but i feel kinda bad leaving people on read so...idk, i just wanna say it. i really appreciate the attention but, idk, if i dont respond, i just. have a life to live, and other interests besides sex.

Again this is just my ass overthinking how other people might react to me not always responding immediately, but, idk i need to say it for my own sake.

Woooo, sorry if this sounds rude, this is just a general vibe ive been starting to feel. i try to get around to people, just not always up for it.

[sepiamestus]

not to sound like a teacher but some of you guys are just mean for no good reason

[purpleshadow-star]

Here's the actual analysis as to why El is just as bad of a romantic partner to Mike as Mike is to her (and why they just don’t work romantically in general).

(this is going to include both reasons why El is not a good romantic partner and just general observations as to why Mike and El don’t work romantically)

Relationships work two ways. Mike and El don't work not only because Mike can't love El the way she wants to be loved but also because El hasn't ever proved that Mike can confide in her and be vulnerable with her, which is important for a relationship. We have literally never seen El comfort Mike about anything, or even ask if he’s okay or how he’s doing. We've seen Mike try to comfort El in S4, but we've never seen it the other way, not even in the slightest.

Let's start at the beginning.

This lack of mutual trust and this weariness to be vulnerable with each other stems from the fact that Mike and El never established a proper friendship before getting together. Friendship is where people get to know each other and learn to trust each other. Friendship is the foundation to any good romantic relationship.

Mike has proved that he can be there for El from the beginning. He took her in when they found her, he gave her a place to stay, and he protected her, despite the fact that it was dangerous for him to do any of this.

Mike and El met, knew each other for a week, and then were separated. During that week, Mike did his part to establish the beginning of a friendship. El didn't even know what it was to have friends, so obviously, she was slower in reciprocating the friendship completely.

El was able to establish the beginnings of a true friendship with everyone in the party, so they all considered her their friend, and she considered them her friends, but they never really got to know each other. Mike and El in particular were torn apart before they could get to know each other well enough to develop true romantic feelings, and it didn't help that people such as Lucas and Nancy gave Mike the idea that he should be interested in El romantically. The fact that Mike kissed El was a major setback for their platonic relationship.

Because they were never able to establish a good, strong, platonic relationship first, and since they never really go to know each other, this set up a very shaky foundation for any other relationship they tried to build.

During their year apart, El watched a lot of romance shows and movies, to the point where she could quote the TV. She gained this idea of love that isn't realistic, but since she and Mike kissed, and the people in love on the TV kissed, and she cared for Mike, she probably rationalized that her positive feelings for him must be romantic, just like the people on TV.

Because of this, when they reunited in season 2, El already had it in her mind that their relationship should be romantic. She wasn’t trying to be his friend anymore, not like with the rest of the party. She thought that they should be romantic. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Like the people on TV. This is shown when she tried to kiss him before she left with Hopper to go to the lab in season 2. El made that move, not Mike. Mike didn’t even lean forward. And then the Snowball happened, and Mike kissed El once again, and (presumably) that night, they established their romantic relationship.

(It is important to note that Max and Lucas also got together at the Snowball, and they had the same amount of time to get to know each other (About a week and the one month time skip at the end of season 2). The only difference is that we saw Lucas and Max actually talking about themselves and getting to know each other. We didn’t see that with Mike and El in season 1)

We really start to see the result of that shaky foundation in season 3. In the beginning, we saw Mike and El make out and seemingly have a good time together. Mike left, and then we saw that their make-out session caused Mike to be late to meet up with the rest of the party.

As the season went on, we saw how Mike and El’s relationship affected everyone else. We learn that they’d been ditching their friends (causing Will and Dustin to be noticeably upset), and they’re being disrespectful to Hopper.

We also saw that El didn’t really like Mike’s idea of fun. He tried to be silly and have fun in the first make-out scene, and she stopped him and pulled him back into making out. We learned through Will that they hadn't played DnD in a while, and he implied that they hadn’t really been doing anything fun lately. Mike had essentially given up the things he liked to do in order to hang out with El.

As far as we saw, Mike and El spend most of their time making out and not actually doing anything else that the two of them enjoy together, such as listening to music (to enjoy it, not just as background noise while making out), playing games (like El and Max do later), reading comics (also like El and Max do later), watching TV together, or even just talking. It’s almost like making out is the only thing they both know the other likes to do.

(Also note that a lot of this has to do with their age. For the most part, dating is the stage to get to know someone before making it official, but because Mike and El are so young, they don’t know this. They have a set idea of what dating and relationships means in their minds, and they don’t have the life experience to know that dating means getting to know one another, not just spending all your time together making out (especially El, who was in a lab for almost her whole life and mostly learned about other people and the world through romance TV). Usually, you go on dates, then, if you like each other, you enter a relationship. Dating people who you didn’t know before is basically the “being friends” stage. They seem to skip the dating part entirely, and they go straight into a relationship. For anyone, but especially kids that young, a good relationship needs to be built on a good friendship)

When Mike lied to El, she broke up with him, which was completely fair since he kept on lying. Then, she went on with Max and didn’t think about him too much after that. We saw that the breakup didn’t really affect her. 

During the rest of the season, we saw Mike in danger multiple times. We saw Mike get concerned for El, but we never once saw El ask Mike how he was doing. We never saw El check up on Mike. Not like how Jonathan checked up on Nancy after she was attacked by the Mind Flayer, despite him having been injured to the point that he almost passed out only a few minutes prior. Not like how Joyce was concerned about and took care of Hopper after he was beat up by the Russian soldier.

At the end of season 3, El told Mike that she loved him and it was heavily implied that she said this because she overheard Mike say it in the other room earlier in the season, but Mike didn’t say it back.

Mike never told El he loved her to her face. She was the first (and only) one to say it face-to-face.

Remember that.

In season 4, we learn from El’s letter that she was lying to Mike. She was completely lying, not just leaving out the bad parts of her life in California. When Mike arrived in California, we saw that El was a bit upset with Mike for writing “From Mike” on the flowers instead of “Love Mike,” but she brushed it off. Then, the roller rink happened, and El’s lies were exposed. Instead of coming clean, she even tried to convince Angela to play it off as a joke. Then, later that night, she retreated, and she isolated herself.

The next day, we saw Mike try to comfort El. He didn’t get upset about the fact that she had lied to him. He simply asked for an explanation. He tried to help her feel more comfortable telling the truth by reminding her that he’s been bullied his whole life. He told her he understood, and he opened up to her and reminded her about his own traumatic memories, only for her to tell him that he didn’t understand. She disregarded his experiences and said that he didn't understand, even though she literally watched him almost kill himself because of a bully.

And still, even after she dismissed his experiences with bullying, he didn’t get mad. He asked for her to explain. Then, she opened up about her own insecurities, and she said that she thought everyone, including him, looked at her like she’s a monster. When Mike tried to reassure her, when he told her he cared for her, El decided to move the conversation off of herself and onto Mike.

Mike is understandably taken off guard by this. El then proceeds to insist that, just because Mike didn’t write the word “love” in his letters, that meant he didn’t love her, despite his reassurances.

Now, obviously, Mike is also in the wrong in this conversation. He lied and said that he did say that he loved her when he didn’t, and he really didn’t handle the situation well after they moved onto the topic of him loving her (ex: saying she was being ridiculous, etc.), but that doesn’t change the fact that El continued pushing this topic that he clearly wasn’t comfortable with. She never considered that maybe he wasn’t ready to say it yet. Again, remember, Mike hadn’t actually said he loved her to her face yet, so really, there should not be any expectation that he should be saying it to her face, or even writing it, right now.

All in all, so far, we’ve seen El lie to Mike, not apologize for lying for months, invalidate his bullying experiences, and get upset with him for not saying something that really shouldn’t have been an expectation yet.

None of this got resolved.

El got arrested. Then, when they reunited, there was no time to really talk about the fight until they made it to Surfer Boy’s Pizza. That little talk they had before Argyle came with the pizza would have been the perfect time for El to apologize for lying and for what she said about his bullying during the fight, but that didn’t happen. So, El never apologized for lying, even after Mike apologized for not saying he loved her more.

None of this means that El is a bad person. El and Mike just don't work romantically because they aren't able to be vulnerable around each other. The one time they talk about how they feel with each other, they end up with a fight that never truly gets resolved. It wasn't resolved with the monologue, not only because Mike’s truthfulness in the monologue was questionable, but also because the argument started with the fact that El lied to Mike, not the issue of Mike not saying he loved her, and that never got resolved.

El hasn’t once shown Mike that he can confide in her, and that, along with many other factors, is why their relationship isn’t going to work out. They needed to establish that platonic bond first. They needed to establish a friendship to fall back on when things in the romantic aspect of their relationship got shaky. If they had established that friendship first, they would be more comfortable going to each other and opening up about their troubles.

With a more solid friendship, they would have been able to go to each other for comfort or reassurance, the same way Mike was able to go to Will, his best friend first and foremost, and talk to him when he was upset and feeling insecure. Also, the same way Max went to Dustin, her friend, when she was worried about the Eddie/Chrissy situation instead of trying to go to Lucas.

Max and Lucas had the same amount of friendship time as Mike and El, and even though they had a better pre-romance friendship, it ultimately wasn't enough to save their relationship. The difference is that Max and Lucas spent season 4 building their friendship back up and solidifying that foundation so that when they do get back together, they’ll be stronger than ever. Mike and El (well, mostly Mike) spent season 4 trying to save their romantic relationship, which is why it still isn’t very strong, even at the end of the season.

Again, this doesn’t make either of them awful people. This all just shows that they are not good for each other romantically, and they never really have been.

So, to conclude my long rambling, as much as Mike idolizes El and her powers, as much as Mike can’t tell El he loves her to her face or without being prompted, as much as Mike can’t show El that he loves her and make her feel loved, El also is completely uninterested in the things that make Mike happy, El never apologized for lying to Mike for months, El invalidated Mike’s traumatic experiences with bullying, and El has never shown Mike that he can go to her for comfort and reassurance.

[writingmoth]

liking romantasy as an ace person who is more sex-indifferent than sex-favorable is so exhausting. there are all these books that look cool but the authors mostly market them based on spicy levels and spicy scenes and it does nothing for me so i just sit here like :| thats nice i guess haha

[virovirokun-has-adhd]

sad times, just realised new fav moot has endo "systems" (written like that) in their dni. :((

its not world ending and i wont unfollow them i'll js have to never ever bring up syscourse around them which is fine

i hope this doesnt end up as too big of a thing or i'll cry :(

im only 3 apples tall chat i js think ppl should live their lives how they want and that it doesnt actually effect anyone else ever

[cin3maa]

i wanna recommend jpsekai to all my ensekai friends so i can play on my main account that isnt like rank 10 but i dont think anyone wants to do allat...

[improving-upon-gods-design]

Does anyone else have really “weird” ways of dealing with their gender dysphoria? For example whenever im feeling really dysphoric i play video games that i personally associate with being masculine (such as spyro) and it makes me feel better lol. Im curious to see if anyone else experiance something similar as ive never seen anyone else talk about it

[pinkeoni]

POV ur competing in the Trauma Olympics and you take a look around at your competition

[kennys-parka-jacket]

Actually, now that i think about it... who do yall think would win in a fight? Kyle or kenny?

[martyrbat]

im still not over that video of the fat men in swimsuits dancing and partying and a cishet woman making an addition to the post saying how they looked friend shaped and like theyre safe and give good hugs like. girl can you take your fatphobia and infantilization someplace else some of us are horny !!!!

[infizero-draws]

in reference to hermitshipping/trafficshipping on this blog btw, i've historically never used those tags (other than a few instances where i felt it might be especially needed) on my art just bcuz

1) a lot of times for my art its very vague. like scar and grian are just talking here seemingly but if i myself had shipping intentions when i drew this, should i tag it as trafficshipping?? that's the kind of vagueness that made me decide to just not in general. because

2) i post a LOT of trafficshipping content, so i don't see a need to tag it. if you're someone who doesn't like that content, just block me 👍

[joelletwo]

I miss my little kaomoji. My horizontal <:3. Thats how i feel looking at what my guy is doing right now lgjdhfjf <- he cant send me to hell he doesnt have that clearance. He can just be rude to me over the phone <- AND HES NOT CURRENTLY

[spitefularoandbi]

Girly pop feminist bros - you need to stop viewing plastic surgery as a negative thing.

Plastic surgery is a neutral thing in relation to a person's personhood.

If you're shitting on cis women for it, for them being "fake," congrats on not actually being a feminist.

And also it really puts into question if you're actually trans ally (like this one has claimed before around me). And I'm really thinking you're not if that's your take on cis women with face work lol

[transmaverique]

gonna be honest I see anyone talking about this "my gender is more complicated than yours" shit as someone who genuinely cannot comprehend that other people that don't share certain traits with them can still in fact have rich interior lives. as an agender trans woman who uses she/her I've never had anyone say it to me who wasn't (usually unknowingly) transmisogynistic

see but im not talking about "rich interior lives" and the assumption that i am is exactly what im talking about. i am talking about the actual physical way that reality treats and percieves me in comparison to the way it treats and percieves you. saying my gender is "more complex" means to me that i am physically incapable of existing in a strictly binary world and that there is no thing i can pass as bc "binary man" and "binary woman" are both incorrect for me. and the Cisiety in question does not allow androgyny to exist - it is exclusively the timeframe people have to decide whether they think you are a cisman or a ciswoman, or a failure and a freak. i dont subscribe to that "binary privilege" shit, thats not how privilege works. but there are differences in the ways both you and i can navigate this strictly binary Cisiety!!! and those differences deserve to be named, imo

like. again. i dont have to comfort you about your own internal sense of gender before youll listen to me about my experiences in the real world as genderqueer. as a different sort of transsexual than you.

(and bc i Know what binary ppl love to say: i know not everyone is 'capable of passing'. what i am talking about specifically is the difference between being unable to pass as a cis woman or a cis man vs being unable to pass bc what i am does not exist AT ALL in a binary society, and both of those things are incorrect ans unattainable.)

(anyways if that language is too imperfect for you thats like fine but. its just confusing to me, i dont get why its hard to understand what we are talking about here. our experiences w our nonbinary genders are completely different! why do i have to discuss them like theyre the same?)

[pkmncenterguy]

If you have a stoutland for a ride pokemon, do not block the road with it??? ‘My stoutland likes to be thorough’ this is a road you are only going to find food wrappers and I am going to be LATE to my JOB