#this makes my day so much better i love it i am cackling

[bussyslayer333]

‘cause you’re so smooth

summary: phoenix invites the boys to her salsa class, big mistake.

pairing: bob floyd x fem!reader

word count: 3k+

warnings: swearing, alcohol mentions, suggestive nature lols, me not knowing anything about salsa

my return to writing with a fic i teased over a year ago!! i hope you all enjoy

ps requests r open :p

“Nix, if you think I want to spend my Sunday evening learning to salsa dance with a bunch of soccer moms then I think your concussion hasn’t healed properly.” Jake sasses in response to Nat’s invitation.

“Yeah, I’m sorry Nat but Sunday is my chill out day, when else am I gonna beat Fitch’s ass on cod?” Fanboy reasons.

Natasha knew it was a stretch asking the boys to join her salsa dancing class, but she thought it was important for them to get out more. At the moment, seemingly all they did was trudge from work to the Hard Deck over and over again.

She sighs, “it would be good for you guys to get out more, y’know?”

“I’ll go, Nat,” Bob smiles, nodding to her from where he is perched on a stool behind her.

“Thank you, Bob.” Nat nods back to him, “the rest of you can suck it.”

“Hey!” Bradley yells as he appears back from the bar, beers in tow, “what did we say about using that type of language?”

“Shut up Dadley,” Nat rolls her eyes as Bradley flicks his tongue out before handing her a beer.

“As much as I’d truly love to attend that class ‘Nix, I’m already a salsa pro and I wouldn’t want you to feel embarrassed about your skills,” Bradley declares, before taking an obnoxious sip of his beer.

“Yeah fuckin’ right, and my dad is prima ballerina,” Jake snorts.

“Let’s not discredit Papa Seresin, I saw him tear Boogie Wonderland up at your sister’s wedding.” Coyote nods.

“Yeah and even that shit was better than what Rooster could pull off,” Jake decides.

Bradley only shrugs at the jibe, a lazy smirk plastered onto his face, which serves only to piss Jake off more.

“Dance off?” Fanboy proposes, standing to head to the jukebox.

“No?” Jake frowns.

Fanboy drops back to his seat with a sigh, “was worth a shot.”

Nat shakes her head with a snort and brings the conversation back to the matter at hand.

“Look it’s fine, I’m just saying I think you guys would enjoy it!” She reasons.

“I’m sure it’ll be fun!” Bob adds happily.

Nat can only sigh at the lack of response.

Bob is already waiting outside the community centre when Nat arrives, looking down and nervously picking at a thread on the bottom of his gym shorts.

“You ready?” Nat questions, trying to alleviate his nerves.

When Bob looks up his brows unfurl and he lets a small smile sip onto his face.

“Yeah, sure, let’s do this!” He pumps his fist a little awkwardly.

Nat can only chuckle in response as she makes her way to the room at the left of the reception where the class is held. You’re stood by the door chatting with one of the older women in your class when Nat comes into your view.

“Natasha! How’s my best student?” You tease, stepping towards her.

“I’m great, thanks!” Nat blushes before gesturing to Bob, “I hope you don’t mind, I brought a friend.”

Bob sucks in a breath as you finally lock eyes with him. Shit. You were beautiful and those leggings were doing you an undoubted amount of favours.

Sadly, Bob had an incredibly annoying habit he was unable to shake. It was known as “embarrassing himself in front of beautiful women” and that seemed to strike him just as you stuck your manicured hand out to shake his own.

The breath that Bob had sucked in caught in his throat which was drying up increasingly as he took you in, leading to an unprecedented coughing fit doubling him over. What seemed to make it worse was your shocked gasp and immediate move to lean over him and pay his back gently. Bob tried not to focus on your cleavage directly next to his face and instead on regulating his breathing. It was proving difficult, especially when he could hear Nat cackling at his misfortune from behind him.

Once almost fully back to normal, you squeeze his bicep and chuckle,

“I don’t think I’ve ever quite literally taken someone’s breath away!” You giggle, voice oh so sweet.

Bob can’t even let himself feel embarrassed with the way your soft hand feels on his arm.

“I’m so sorry about that,” he cringes.

“Don’t worry about it,” you smile reassuringly.

Nat is growing seemingly agitated by Bob’s lingering near the door so she steers him forwards away from you.

“Best get set up!” She announces, dragging him into the room.

The classroom is spacious, a high ceiling and large windows on the left wall. The wall facing the door is covered in mirrors that amplify the light in the area.

Before Bob can speak up again, two men who look to be in their late 40s rush over towards Natasha. They’re the complete opposite of one another, the first who reaches for Natasha is tanned and has dark curling hair with flecks of grey throughout.

“Natasha! Darling it is so great to see you!” He exclaims with a slight accent, holding her hand in his.

The other has embraced the grey in his hair, he’s relatively pale but has clearly kept his physique, he nods towards Bob with a glint of something in his eye, “I thought he wasn’t your type?”

Nat snorts, clueing Bob in finally on what the two men were hinting at.

“My best friend, boys don’t worry,” she teases.

“Thank God, I’ve been trying to set you up with my niece for how long now?” The dark haired man smiles.

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m always busy at the moment,” she shrugs apologetically before turning back to Bob, “Bob this is Marco and Luke.”

They both shake his hand and size him up as they do so, the grey haired one (Luke) declares.

“He’s cute, Nat, where have you been hiding him?” He prods.

Bob exhales at the approval and watches as Nat breaks out into laughter. “Away from you!”

Marco and Luke break into laughter alongside Nat and Bob can’t help himself but join. Just as they’re all catching their breath, Bob jumps out of his skin again as he feels his hand on his shoulder.

“Boys, we’re being welcoming to our newcomer aren’t we?” You hum.

Your hip is touching Bob’s and the soft skin of your hand on his shoulder has him malfunctioning, luckily he isn’t forced into replying (or choking) this time.

“Of course we are beautiful, what do you think of us?” Marco gasps in faux shock.

“I think that I know what you two are like,” you roll your eyes before making your way to the front of the room.

You send Bob a sly wink before finally beginning, “It’s so great to see you all again!”

Everyone in the room blurts out greetings at you as you begin, “We’ll continue on from last week,” you strut over to the stereo in the corner and a latin pop track floats out into the room and Bob vaguely recognises the tune.

Marco and Luke are quick to start fluidly moving around the floor space and Bob notices that others in the room are doing the same. You make your way quickly over to him and place your hand on the small of his back, straightening his posture.

“I don’t expect you to get it immediately,” you smile into his ear, “we’ll start off with some basics and turn variations.”

Bob hopes you can’t see the nervous perspiration already forming on the back of his neck and nods a little too eagerly at your words. He looks back to Nat for some encouragement but she’s already dancing and chatting with a group of women next to the tall windows.

“I don’t bite,” You giggle, shocking Bob who looks back to see you holding your hand out for him to grab onto.

“Sorry, I’m not the best dancer-” Bob’s self depreciation is swiftly disrupted by you placing his hand on your waist and the other in your own.

“All the more for me to work with,” you smile, and Bob feels himself smiling back.

Although a tad clunky, Bob manages not to step on your toes and has some surprisingly fluid hip movement which intrigues you ever so slightly.

By the last ten minutes of the class, Bob is twirling Marco around as Luke and Nat chat to you about technique.

“What were you nervous about?” Marco probes Bob, “you’re a natural!”

Bob can only chuckle shyly in response and he glances over at your frame. Marco seems to notice Bob’s longing glances and slowly stops their dance.

“Go for it.”

“What?” Bob splutters.

“She’s been making googoo eyes at you the whole time mister, don’t pretend you haven’t noticed.”

Bob reels for a moment at Marcos admission before straightening up. “You think?”

Marco rolls his eyes. “I know.”

Before Bob can reach you you’re already strutting back towards the stereo to lower the volume of the music and gather everyone’s attention.

“Thank you so much everyone! You’ve all been brilliant today and I can’t wait to see you next week!” You beam at everyone.

People begin to gather to chat and start to disperse and you begin to gather your own belongings, stopping to make conversation with others as you do so. Luke and Nat join Bob and Marco with sly smirks on their faces.

“So…” Nat begins, “You’ll be coming back next week I presume?”

Bob flushes at Nat’s knowing look. “Yeah,” he looks to you, “definitely.”

Bob didn’t mean to let it slip. Like seriously, his lips were so sealed. Air tight.

“But HOW hot are we talking?” Mickey slurs over the nth shot he’d done with Bob at the Hard Deck’s happy hour.

So maybe not air tight.

It was Thursday evening and the rest of the daggers had politely declined drinks with Fanboy, but Bob (the ever dutiful friend) had accepted, hoping to be in and out within the hour. But alas, here they were.

“Fuckin’ smoking,” Bob mimes an explosion with his hands as Mickey nods enthusiastically to his answer.

“I choked on air when I saw her and almost popped a boner during a Justin Timberlake song,” Bob continues to ramble, once given the chance to talk about you he clearly wasn’t going to stop.

“And when is this class?” Mickey slumps closer to Bob, tequila breath hot on his neck.

“Ummmm, Sunday evening at 6 I think?” Bob nods, remembering the details Nat had sent him in a text the week previous.

“Good to know,” Mickey hums, reaching his hand forward to signal for another round, knocking someone’s drink over in the process. “Oops.”

Bob is quick to drag Mickey away from the bar top after that, realising they’d probably overdone it a tad for a weekday evening.

As the cool sea breeze hits Bob’s flushed face whilst him and Mickey wait outside the Hard Deck for their uber, he can’t help but let his mind drift to you, what you were potentially up to, do you teach other classes during the week? Do you dance professionally? God, you definitely could, the way your hips moved-

Bob shook his head, as if to get the image of you stuck in his mind out. He looked to Mickey hanging off of his arm, he was looking to the ground and shaking as if to stave off the imminent vomit that was about to leave his mouth any second now.

“Let’s get you home man,” Bob pats Mickey on the head, dragging him towards their Uber pulling up.

“Hey, Bob!” Nat yells across the parking lot, catching the back of her friend’s tall frame leant against a pillar near the front of the community center.

When Bob turns around, Nat notices two people next to him who she was not expecting to see.

“Fitch? Fanboy?” Nat cocks her head to the side. “I thought you guys were too busy to come?”

Nat’s accusatory eyes meet Bob’s sheepish expression as he awkwardly clears his throat.

“We heard the teacher was hot as fuck.” Payback shrugs.

Fanboy giggles next to him in excitement, “I’ve been practicing-”

“Bob I swear-” Natasha begins, finger pointing right into Bob’s chest.

“Sup, biatches!” Jake yells, alerting everyone of his and Javy’s presence. “Who’s ready to get their salsa on?”

Nat spins around on her heel, eyes shooting daggers into Jake and Javy.

“Bob, I’m going to kill you.” She states, eerily calm.

“Oh come on Phe! You wanted us here just last week!” Jake exclaims, walking round to slap Bob on the shoulder and greet Payback and Fanboy behind him.

“Yeah! When I wanted you guys to get out and do something productive! Not fuck my lovely salsa teacher, who by the way, was not socialised by wolves! So will absolutely not be charmed by any of you fools!”

With that, Nat turns and walks into the community center, leaving the boys to sprint in after her.

“At least this can’t get any worse,” Nat mutters to herself, pulling the door to your studio open.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Nat stills in the doorway, the rest of the boys behind her peeking their heads in.

“What now?” Bob asks guiltily.

Nat opens the door fully and allows the men behind her to file into the studio, where her fellow classmates are stood in a semi circle whooping and hollering at you dancing in the middle with none other than Bradley Bradshaw.

“Fucking Bradshaw,” Jake scoffs, pushing his way ahead whilst checking himself out in the full length mirrors that line the opposite wall of the room.

“Chicken never told us he could dance!” Jake yells over the latin music filling the room, successfully interrupting your dance with Bradley.

Bradley’s head whips to the side at the sound of that familiar ear grating voice. He gives you an apologetic look as he walks over to begin squabbling with a man you presume he knows. The commotion between the boys alerts you to the presence of Natasha and Bob as well as three other unfamiliar men. When Bradley had introduced himself with a smirk and a drawling voice as a friend of Natasha’s you had to wonder whether all of her colleagues were so handsome and by the looks of it, they were.

Nat is quick to walk over to you with an apologetic smile. “I want to apologise in advance for the next hour. They are insufferable.”

You look behind her to where the gaggle of men she calls her close friends are stood, you can see Marco and Luke itching to get their claws in and you have to giggle. This should be interesting.

After instructing the rest of your class to continue practicing the routine you had been working on, you figure it was only fair to come and personally consult your newest joiners.

As the boys (and Nat) notice you wandering towards them, they all begin to elbow each other like school boys giggling amongst themselves. Bob and Nat can only keep their embarrassment internal for so long.

When you come to a stop in front of them, the man you’ve come to learn as Jake smiles dazzlingly and stretches his arms above his head,

“God it is hot in here!” He begins to reach for the bottom of his shirt, aiming to impress you with his toned stomach.

“The A/C is on full blast dumbass.” Nat swats at the back of Jake’s head, causing him to drop his shirt again and rub at his temple. “Ow!”

Snickers fall from Javy and Mickey, who quickly straighten themselves up when they see you casting your eyes over them.

“As I said to Bob last week, with all my new starters I’ll begin with some basics for you guys and then we can ease into a routine,” you smile, heading towards Bradley and Nat.

“Since you two already have some experience you can help me teach!”

Bradley preens under your praise, already assuming the role of teacher’s pet, whilst Nat looks mildly irritated at having to teach her imbecilic friends how to dance.

“Alright guys! let’s partner up!” you shout at them, giggling as they all rush towards you, you note how Bob lingers back behind his more extroverted friends and grin.

“I should clarify, I meant with each other.” You shoo them backwards and watch as they couple up.

Mickey and Reuben clap each other on the back and Javy and Jake nod at one another leaving Bob, stood on his own. You saunter towards him and grab at arm, dragging him to the front with you.

“Looks like you’re with me,” you tease.

“Uh, who do you want me to partner up with?” Bradley scratches at his head obliviously.

You cock your head to the side with a confused laugh.

“I hate you so much right now,” Nat spews, gripping Bradley’s arm and pulling him into position with her.

“Oh, yeah. Right, sorry Nat.” Bradley chuckles.

Your lessons continues with explaining how someone will have to take the lead and the other will follow, and you wander around positioning their hands and postures correctly.

“Javy, you are like a brother to me, but your hands are too fucking low right now.” Jake grits through this teeth.

“Right! Ha, sorry man,” Javy’s hands shoots back up towards the middle of Jake’s back.

Bob is still apprehensive when he places his hands on your waist, but you’re quick to affirm him in his position. Leaning towards him you whisper, “don’t worry you’re still my favourite.”

A smile graces his face at that and he relaxes in your grip.

“Right guys! We’re gonna start with some turns and variations now!”

You quickly learn that trying to wrangle these men is proving difficult, as Payback almost spins Fanboy into a wall after zoning out stating at how your hips moved.

“I’m good bro, don’t worry,” Mickey is quick to readjust himself, hoping the room stops spinning soon.

You can’t help but laugh when Javy attempts to dip Jake to the floor in a move he thought would impress you, but it seems he forgot to account for how tall and heavy Jake is, as he goes toppling down with him.

“Fuck dude! You’re heavy!” Javy groans, rubbing his knee. Jake clearly didn’t take kindly to his words as he shoves back at Javy childishly.

“Boys! Come on get up!” You snap, trying to sound stern but still fighting off giggles.

Jake and Javy are quick to get back on their feet, but you catch them in your peripheral poking and pinching each other when they think you aren’t looking.

Even Bradley who was so light on his feet when he was showing you his moves earlier, is clearly distracted, constantly stepping on Nat’s feet as they practice variations.

“If you step on my toe one more time, Rooster I swear to God, you will not see daylight again,” Nat threatens.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! She’s just so…” Bradley trails off as he watches you dance slowly with Bob, stopping every now and then to correct him kindly or answer questions from others in your class.

“I know! And you guys are scaring her off by acting crazy.” Nat sighs, moving back as she senses Bradley’s feet heading for her toes again.

“I mean I wouldn’t say crazy…” Bradley scratches the back of his neck.

“Well I walked in to see you spinning her around like you’re a pro on dancing with the stars so maybe you should reevaluate.”

“You think I’m that good?” Bradley smirks to himself.

“Oh shut up,” Nat rolls her eyes and looks back to the rest of her friends around the room.

Payback and Fanboy were continually stumbling around in circles as they each try to catch your eye, pissing off everyone else in the room as they bumped and knocked into others. She caught Marco and Luke’s judgy eyes flicking back and forth between her and her friends and groaned.

Jake and Javy looked either one wrong move away from fucking or fighting, Nat couldn’t really tell.

God this was embarrassing.

Luckily, your voice rings out across the room, interrupting her moping.

“Thank you guys for today! And Thank you to my newcomers!” you gesture to the group of men stumbling over each other and stifle a laugh.

“I’ll see you all next week!”

Your regular attenders start filing out slowly, some coming over to chat and collect their things. You can see Nat trying to drag her friends away out they seem intent on lingering long enough to catch some time alone with you.

“You guys might as well go, she clearly wants me.” Jake shrugs, pulling the front of his shirt up to wipe his face.

Mickey is quick to dispute, “Are you kidding me? I twirled like a ballerina, I’m so in.”

Nat is moments away from body slamming her friends who she once loved when it goes silent around her. She figures you finally made you way over.

“Hey guys, thanks so much for joining today! I’m really sorry I’ve got to get going but um- ”

You pause and sense eyes on you.

“Bob, I was just wondering if I could get your number?” you smile, walking towards him and squeezing his arm. “You know, to talk about how we can improve your technique,” your reasoning clear as day even with your coverup

“Yeah! Yes, of course I mean,” Bob composes himself, taking your phone with shaking hands and typing in his number.

“Great,” you wink, retrieving your phone, “I’ll text you.”

You end with that, sauntering past the group and waving goodbye to Nat with a knowing look.

Everyone seems stunned by your words, but mostly Bob who blinks slowly, seemingly still in shock by your acknowledgement.

Nat finally breaks into laughter, doubling over at the confused faces of her other friends.

“Man!” She shouts through her giggles, “you just cannot make that shit up!”

The grumbles around her don’t even phase her as she goes to pick up her bag and head for the door, a group of downtrodden looking men following her and Bob with a newfound pep in his step.

“By the way Rooster, how come you actually are so good?” Nat asks as they make their way into the parking lot.

Bradley stills, silent as he contemplates answering.

“If I tell you, you have to promise to not go searching for anything.” He looks around at his friends.

Following their nods he continues, “I used to compete professionally, when I was like 13, my mom forced me to.” Bradley cringes at the memory of his tween self in sparkly shirts his mom always hand picked out for him in the most hideous colours.

Bradley looks back up to see Jake grinning mischievously at his phone, and his stomach drops.

“Is this you?” Jake smirks, turning his phone around to show everyone an old video on youtube titled.

SALSA NATIONALS 1999 - BRADSHAW / DONNA SUMMER HOT STUFF

Bob suddenly felt as though his coughing fit over you wasn’t the most embarrassing thing he had to witness anymore.

a/n: it is great to be back gang xx i’ve missed writing and ofc i had to bring back the bob agenda!! it’s what i stand for :) i’m thinking mayhaps a part 2 where i explore the dynamic between sexy salsa teacher and bob bc atm this was just a chance for me to make fun of the daggers 😣

i hope you enjoyed reading and tysm!!

pls reblog, comment or drop me an ask and tell me what you thought!! feedback means sm to me considering i’m a lil rusty

anyways thank u again for reading!!!!

- honey xoxo

[goldenhypen]

→ ENHYPEN’S RED FLAGS !! ⚠︎

PAIRING | ot7 x fem!reader

GENRE | crack

WORD COUNT | 1.3k

WARNINGS | mentions of food; reader is referred to as “girl”; i’m pretty sure it’s fine but it is possible i made mistakes w the tenses (i’m still tryna get used to writing more in present tense T-T)

DISCLAIMER | THIS IS NOT IN ANY WAY A FORM OF HATE TOWARDS ENHYPEN (pls i love these boys w my entire being how could i) this is a joke so don’t take this too seriously lol

A/N | had the time of my life choosing pics for the moodboard btw they had me out here cackling at 3 am (first red flag: i’m out here losing sleep bc of them !! smh)

이희승 ! HEESEUNG

too handsome… how can you stand to look at that devilishly handsome face without ever passing out due to lack of oxygen in your lungs when he’s always taking your breath away?! also y’all become way too popular; people are always staring at you two (not only heeseung but you too obviously 😏), it’s tiring being so famous yk 🙄

good at everything… it’s lowk invigorating sometimes bc he’s always outdoing you in everything. when you play games, he’s beating you; when you’re having fun at karaoke, he’s always out-singing you or showing off with his fancy riffs and harmonies; when you’re playing sports together, he always has a way of beating you, no matter what the sport. he even manages to do better at the simple task of making ramyeon. and we all know that’s only to list a few. it’s just so tiring having such a perfect bf 😔

박종성 ! JAY

jawline is too sharp… you cup his jaw as you kiss him then suddenly you hurt your hand on his sharp jawline !! it’s not fair that you have to sacrifice your hands every day just because he looks so good.

cooks for everyone… because he cooks so much, you can’t just be hanging out watching him be all hot and sexy as he cooks for everyone all the time !! you’ve had enough of back hugging him, cheek pressed against his firm back muscles (they’re so strong, it hurts your face !!), or smelling and eating all the delicious food,,, you just wanna spend alone time with your man, without the kitchen as the third wheel :’D your bf is just so husband material, and being able to provide for everyone aside from just you and him is just so, totally, very much, rlly unattractive (that’s sarcastic btw i actually couldn’t come up w any negative points to this why would anyone hate that about him-)

심재윤 ! JAKE

always has his tongue hanging outside of his mouth or his teeth sunk into his bottom lip with a smirk… no wonder my man always has ulcers lol jk i have no idea how that actually works,, but you can never kiss him cuz his mouth hurts !! but he’s too hot for you to handle anyways so- sometimes he’ll be all seductive with that smirk after swiftly swiping his tongue over his lips and you have to literally take a moment to compose yourself before he wraps his hands around your waist, biting his bottom lip before leaning in to kiss you,, oh my heart :’>

loves his dog too much… sure, loving layla taught him ways on how to love on his own future girl, but you didn’t realize how long it would take him to transfer the title of his most favourite girl from layla to you. you were always competing with a dog and yes, she’s cute but how was this fair?! so let’s just say it took many years of hard work and determination until you finally stole that hard earned title.

박성훈 ! SUNGHOON

doesn’t hang out with enough girls… so he has no experience when it comes to dating you. even before dating you, he was basically a total clutz. not being around girls enough made him feel nervous whenever he was around them due to lack of experience. and so whenever it came to you at first, he was always a nervous wreck and super awkward. and even after dating you, though he is so much better and confident, he still has his slip ups and tends to get super shy whenever you make him flustered (which occurs a lot more often than you’d imagine)! alexa play ‘super shy’ by newjeans 👖

too funny… he randomly comes out with these stupidly funny jokes or comments that make you laugh so hard, it makes your tummy, cheeks and lungs hurt. whenever you tell him you’re gonna die of laughter, you’re not joking.

김선우 ! SUNOO

too sassy… like why does he always have to react with his eye rolls or side eyes whenever you tease him, with that snarky scoff. and then when he’d tease you back, he’d just take the remarks to a whole other level. but occasionally this sass would be used in your favour; whenever a friend would tease you, he’d always get very defensive and have the best comebacks. actually depending on how close you two are with the friend, he once in a while would take the side of your friend and just tease you harder.

perfect figure… he outdoes you all the time. like sunoo give us ladies a chance to shine?? he’s always stealing the spotlight, it’s annoying sometimes !! 🙄 like yes, you (y/n) are always hot and super attractive (self confidence!!! you deserve to love yourself 😌) but for some reason people are always complimenting sunoo’s body instead of yours. but let me let you in on a little secret… it’s only because it’s obvious you’re the one who’s clearly more physically attractive. and who states the obvious these days anyway? hmph 😌

양정원 ! JUNGWON

too loveable… in other words,, there’s nothing to ever (playfully) hate on him with or tease him about !! so boring 👎👎👎 like you just constantly wanna love on him. he can be teasing you about an embarrassing moment of yours that happened just a couple minutes ago, and then you try to think of a comeback but then you take one glimpse into his eyes and suddenly you’re melting on the spot as your mind is wiped of everything you could’ve ever thought up in one quick moment. and suddenly you can only think about the things about him that give you warm, fluffy feelings. HE COULD BE DOING THE BARE MINIMUM AND YOURE FULL HEART EYES FOR HIM he’s just perfect. so unfair and so not fun 👎👎

duality… DOES HE EVEN UNDERSTAND THAT HE SHOULD HAVE YOUR HEART TO LOOK AFTER ???? like what about your well being ??? how about YOUR FEELINGS ???? like you’re constantly being emotionally pulled this way and that cuz one second he’ll be the cutest bf ever with his bread cheeks and fluffy smile when all of a sudden he has a dance to practice and all of a sudden he’s in performance mode, and his duality is just insane !!! is that even the same jungwonie that was with you just a second ago ???? i think not !!! smh

西村 力 ! NI-KI

too tall; doesn’t stop growing… (if he’s a lot taller than you) how are you gonna kiss him?? how is he gonna kiss you?? no but even if he isn’t a lot taller than you now, this boy doesn’t stop growing. you won’t admit it but it’s actually really romantic and hot the way he’d do things to match your heights, such as the other day when he carried you onto the counter, stood between your legs, and pressed his lips against yours in the hottest kiss you’ve ever shared. it’s simply not okay ???

too good of a dancer… outdoes you in every dance game. like riki at least give us a chance??? i mean sometimes he does, but the competitive side of him always wins and he just ends up beating you anyways like always 🙄 also getting to watch him on stage is like seeing a whole other riki. you mostly know him for his goofy personality, but whenever you get to see him perform, he switches that off and enters his alter ego and it has to be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. so you get the best of both worlds… which obviously isn’t healthy for your heart ???

A/N | it takes only two seconds and a click to make your favourite writers’ day with a reblog. and if you want to take 30 extra seconds of your day to add even just the smallest comment, even just a few nice words of encouragement in your reblog or in the comments, those put the biggest smiles on our faces. let us know how you liked what you just read by telling us and showing us so we can continue putting out content that you can enjoy! thank you! <3

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[sofs16]

our home

part 1: paddock day , part 2: our leclerc win, part 3: our love in photos — next

not proofread, as usual:)

yn.jpg

budapest, hungary

liked by charles_leclerc, alex_albon, carlossainz55, and 392,383 others

yn.jpg beautiful race and driver who man never sits still 😆

view all 82,484 comments

laufeyyn as much as i love you and paddock yn, do you not have a job? 😭

⤷ yn.jpg NOO DW ID QUESTION THIS TOO! i actually still do have a job but it’s mostly online unless there’s a photoshoot somewhere or meeting:) i usually do my work at the paddock (war flashbacks to when i was called a horrible wag for being on my laptop😊) but yes i still work! ⤷ ynml i love how straightforward she is esp w the hate she got at silverstone LOL HATERS

[liked by yn.jpg]

chacha166 i love how its been a year but yn is still so active with us 🥹

⤷ yn.jpg you guys are so kind and silly its kinda hard to stop 🤷🏻‍♀️

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️

july 23, 2024

charles_leclerc

liked by yn, and 7,383,383 others

charles_leclerc P2 at Spa! Huge congratulations to Carlos on his win. Started at P14 and maximized the car. Time to recharge ❤️

Photo 📷: @yn @yn.jpg😘

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yn proudest of you ❤️‍🩹

⤷ charles_leclerc ❤️

yncharles THE PGOTO CREDITS LALALAAJAKAHAHAHAHA

carlossainz55 Why does yn not take photos of me

⤷ yn i do but i havent posted them yet, carlitos :( congrats on p1! yahoooo

july 30, 2024

yn

liked by charles_leclerc, and 6,373,383 others

yn something happened 💟

view all 981,574 comments

charles_leclerc 🏠

⤷ yn hehehe

yncharlesparents DID THEY MOVE IN TOGETHER WHAT

[liked by yn] ⤷ yncharlesparents SHITTING MY PANTS

⤷ yn wear a diaper, it helps

yourbsf i better have a room yn yln

⤷ yn the living room is spacious enough ❤️

⤷landonorris what about me

⤷ yn um we have 2 couches? ⤷ landonorris good enough

august 3, 2024

liked by yn, and 10,483,494 others

charles_leclerc Home ❤️ And can you believe Yn has 2 closets and says it’s not enough? 😂

📷 Photo: @yn @yn.jpg 😍

view all 1,483,695 comments

user11 she’s so ungrateful

user13 I bet she makes him buy all her clothes..

⤷ yn @user11 @user13 Actually, I have a job that allows me to pay for my wants, not that I need to explain myself! And I am very grateful for everything so don’t make assumptions, it was a joke. Hope you have a good life and actually find a job instead of being rude to people you don’t know! ❤️

[liked by charles_leclerc]

⤷ yneditss I fear, she ate. ⤷ charles283 I bet the PR is not happy abt this but we are 😊

⤷ yn i spoke my truth 🤷🏻‍♀️

⤷ynhumor I CACKLED I LOVE HER

⤷ ferrariforza You know she’s serious when she makes the capitalization and punctuations 😭

yncharles16 i love how yn is slowly taking over charles’ insta hehe he’s so whipped

august 6, 2024

f1wagsoft._

liked by yn, and 7,585 others

f1wagsoft._ Yn and Charles ❤️❤️

view all 328 comments

yn 🥹❤️‍🩹

⤷ ynstan yn is always active for f1wagsoft._ AHAHA

⤷ yn loveeee em

⤷ f1wagsoft._ ❤️ august 7, 204

yn.jpg

liked by charles_leclerc, and 2,483,595 others

yn.jpg peaceful life 💌

view all 1,385,584 comments

ynzangel SHE HAS CHILDREN?

littlewomennzz EXCUSE ME?

lovelaufhlife WHAT

charles_leclerc Beautiful❤️

⤷ landonorris WHAT IS HAPPENING

yn.jpg IM NOT A MOTHER

⤷ ynschild you’re our mother. ⤷ yn.jpg true dat, child

⤷ ynsfan did she just say “true dat” HAHAHAHA IM GIGGLING I LOVE

⤷ yn.jpg WHAT AB IT ??????? august 8, 2024

yn

liked by charles_leclerc, and 4,484,484 others

yn im sincerely sorry for the fright. i am not pregnant or with child or have child 😭

that was charles’ nephew and niece…

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landonorris Soon?

⤷ yn YOURE LITWRALLY MY CHILD HUSH

⤷ landonorris maybe.. idk

⤷ yn IM OLDER THAN YOU? ⤷ landonorris BY A FEW YEARS

charles_leclerc Cuteeee🤓

[liked by yn]

yourfavynstan All jokes aside, she looks like she’s make a lovely mother:( especially one with those quiet lives away from all the chaos of fame

⤷ charles.updated the day they settle down and charles content disappears 😭😭😭😭

⤷ yn this is so kind omg. and you will never run out of charles content as long as i live and we live together! pinky swear

⤷f1gr1dd I LOVE HER IT HURTS

august 9, 2024

f1wagsoft._

liked by 14,383 others

f1wagsoft._ That… is not Yn Yln with Charles Leclerc.

view all 29,383 comments

ynchar YN? MOM? WHAT

charrrl guys, theres more pics leaked.. it’s him… and not yn.

charlando WHAT

ynupdated @yn pls what. be active. youre always active here

user16 i don’t like charles with anyone other than charlotte and i thought i would he happy about this but im not. charles and yn truly did look like they loved each other

⤷ yncha WE DONT USE “LOVED”. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER

⤷ f111grid delulu is the solulu. we’re the same 😞

ynleclerc1 Not with zandvoort gp 2 days away.

riciando idt yn will respond abt this. sure she seems very open but you can see she’s only open about certain parts of her life. we don’t even know how old she is or where she lived before charles or anything 😭

august 23, 2024

#SOF : is this a bad time to say im a writer who likes to leave cliffhangers ?

[muneca-lemon-steppa]

Mooooo ! I love you so much bby 💕 my I request one with Alfie with the touch starved prompts “you never have to earn my affection-not now, not ever” and “I’m never more at peace than when I’m in yours arms”? Thank you lovely❤️❤️

My baby girl!!!!!!! Ugh thank you so much for sending this in. Did my heart ache writing this? Yes. Did my stomach hurt? Also yes. Am I sorry for it? NO. WE DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR EMO HOURS IN THIS HOUSE. Hehehe Anyway I love ya so much I hope you enjoyyyyyy.

100 Follower Celebration: Your Love is Enough

Alfie Solomons x Fem!Reader

There were many perks that came with being Alfie's woman. While there was certainly a good deal of danger lurking around, there was an undeniable air of safety you had due to all the eyes watching. You got access to all the hot goings on around the city. You lived comfortably. And above all, you got to love Alfie Solomons fully and purely and unabashed. There was only one downside really... the talk.

It was no secret that you were significantly younger than Alfie. It was something you and Alfie never shied away from and didn't feel a need to. Regardless of any age difference, you and Alfie understood each other on a cosmic level, a way no one else could. You loved him with your whole heart and soul and Alfie would burn down the world if you asked him to. You were one. And anyone who truly knew you and Alfie knew that this was true love. That this was the type of love and devotion that epics were written about and empires crumbled over. But there were always going to be people who didn't know. Always going to be people who didn't understand.

You were perusing fabric patterns in the shop down the street one early afternoon, looking for the final pattern to add to a quilt you were making for Ollie's soon to be born first child. You delicately touched the cotton blends along an aisle, imagining how it would look along the squares you had already picked, taking mental note as to what was available.

"I just cannot imagine what he sees in her. I mean... she is a child isn't she?"

Your ears perked up to the tone. It was Mrs. Vorsed from down the corner, the one you waved to every morning without even a smile in return. Another voice responded, "You know how men are. They just want a little toy to play house with until they find a wife."

Who on earth could they be talking about?

"Mr. Solomons needs a real woman in his home. My Portia knows what it means to be a lady of the house, and knows her place. I mean that girl he is shacked up with... I can hear her shouts and laughter from down the street! What does she know about keeping a home, much less keeping a man?"

A snicker erupts, "Well I'm sure she won't last long. He'll tire of her eventually when he realizes what he truly needs. Then Portia can swoop right in!"

The cackles fade away with the sharp chops of heavy footed steps. Despite your efforts, the knot in your throat never went down. You lungs refused to take in breath as the words spun in your mind. How could they say those things so confidently? They didn't even know you. They never even stepped foot into the house, how could they know how you keep it? Alfie never said more than a good morning to Mrs. Vorsed. How could they know anything about you or Alfie? Yet their words kept spinning and spooling around in your mind. What if... what if they were right?? What if people saw something that you couldn't see? What if you had deluded yourself into thinking that Alfie was truly happy and in love with you? What if he was unhappy but didn't want to tell you out of duty. It all became too much in your chest, and you left the store without your fabric, but the weight of the world on your chest.

That evening Alfie could not wait to get home to you. Every evening Alfie nearly buzzed at the prospect of coming home to see your face again, and wrap himself around you, getting as close as possible. You made his day better. You made his life brighter and joyful and meaningful. It made all the business and badness worth it. Stepping through the threshold with a press to the mezuzah, Alfie calls out, "Sweet girl! I'm home! You in the kitchen darling?"

He hears you call back and smiles wide, stomach growling hungry for supper and you. Taking off his coat and hat he ambles into the kitchen, watching you stir something magical in the massive soup pot. "My dove ,my angel, my joy, what are you doing? Making food for the Royal Navy are we?"

You turn to him, and he can clearly see that something is wrong. Your lips are quivering and poorly attempting to portray a smile, and your eyes are glassy and red rimmed. He feels a stab in his chest, "Now wait a minute treacle... what's got you crying?"

You wiped your cheek and turned away, "I'm not crying."

With a scoff he grabs your chin gently, turning you to face him, "I thought we didn't lie to each other my sweet. Especially since you're the worst liar since the Garden of Eden. Why are you crying? Come on now confess."

You shrugged as Alfie's hands moved up and down your arms, "It's nothing. Stupid really I shouldn't be crying."

"Nah nah. It ain't stupid if it's got my sweet girl crying like that. Out with it."

The tears kept falling, though you tried to keep an even tone, "I just... I heard some women talking. Mrs. Vorsed and another lady."

Alfie rolled his eyes, "Always a bad sign. C'mon what else."

You sniffled, "And... well... they said that... I wasn't good enough for you. That I didn't know how to be a good woman to you. And that you would be better off with someone else. That you would soon grow tired of me. That I'm not deserving of you, and Portia Vorsed would be a better match for you."

The tears started coming harder, and you couldn't help the shaking of your body. Alfie's stomach dropped, and rage replaced it. Alfie shook your shoulders a bit in his passion, "What the fuck is wrong with them? Treacle, Mrs. Vorsed is the worst gossip in Camden, and doesn't know anything about anything. She hasn't got anything better to do but talk absolute shit. Portia, right? She is the silliest woman in town, she can't even do basic arithmetic because she's too busy being an idiot. I mean fuck me treacle I can barely say good morning to Mrs. Vorsed without getting proper fucking agitated!"

Alfie kissed your forehead and brought you to his chest, "YOU are the one for me. I don't give a shit what Mrs. Vorsed or what any other decrepit woman or idiot man thinks. You are my life. You are my stars and my moon and my sun alright? You don't have to be 'good enough' for me. Fuck you just are. You never have to earn my love. You've always had it. Even before I knew you my old and brittle heart was yours. You got that?"

You nodded, the tears pooling in his shirt. Alfie pulled you away from him to look into your eyes. "And treacle I don't even think Mrs. Vorsed can see more than a meter in front of her so she probably has no clue who she is talking about."

You laughed despite the tears and Alfie grinned. All he wanted to do every day was to make you smile. He was convinced that was what he was put on this earth to do. You put your hand to his face, feeling him lean into the warmth of your palm. "I just want to love you and care for you like you do me. I just worry that I don't do enough sometimes."

He grabbed your hand, kissing your fingertips, "Ah my sweet. I'm never more at peace than when I'm in your arms. I'm never more at home than when you're next to me. The whole business could go to shit and I'd still be the richest man in the world because I have the greatest treasure in you. And I mean that my love. You believe your old man right?"

You nod. The lump in your throat finally dissapated and the weight melted away. There was truly no love like Alfie's and yours. People could talk all they want. People could make any assumptions they wanted. That didn't change what was true. And what was true was that you and Alfie belonged to each other and would for all of eternity.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

🤠🫶:

I am CACKLING like a cartoon villain oh my GOD you are a genius!!! Of course the toxic king breaks his back of COURSE he does the fucking idiot (affectionate), so there's fuck-all he can do with reader's big announcement that this was all worth it and he can totally get some...yknow, in a couple months. AHHHHH. And she just wanted to give him something to look forward to, motivation for the physical therapy <33 (she boops his nose while he lays there wishing for death and cowering from her, of course she does, omg. i love them your honor!!)

and maybe she gets more confident now that he can't fucking move 💀💀 (lmao, oh god. König if you weren't such a menace this would have been easier for her a lot earlier and nobody would be in this situation) and maybe this leads to way more sensual  touching from her on her own initiative; she's curious, after all, and she does like him a lot and she's just trying to help him get better, you know? and König eats that shit up, starts telling her all about these itches and sore muscles he can't reach, could she be a dear (trying to act like he's not literally begging for her touch) and then he basically blacks out the first time her hands linger and drift, but probably better that than the things he was going to say to her. So König wants to die, this is too much, he's done, he's a goner each time she visits him. and damn her, she's a devoted little thing, never misses visiting hours. Always so sweet and caring towards him and it's the perfect image of a faithful, doting housewife without the wife or the house or the sex part of it lmao. And of course he can’t move when all this is happening!!! so basically just more torture and his mind just kind of breaks into little tiny pieces held together by demented lovesick lust-filled fantasies. he says some absolutely filthy things (makes the cunt licking look family friendly in comparison), he can't control it really anymore, and poor reader is shocked/horrified and blushing furiously, but thinks it's the medications and the pain and whatnot, tries to be understanding, only chides him once she gets her shock under control (and he's actually stone cold sober the entire fucking time lmao, but he ain't telling her that, she'd run if she knew). 

AND THEN MAYBE~~ (dun dun dun) one day reader is FINALLY reaching under the stupid hospital bed blanket - he can feel her soft little fingertips and carefully manicured nails travel down his abs, trace the V of his hips (my man is going to black out again, good lord) and she's looking at him with big round eyes and she's nervous she's going to do it wrong and he won't like it (as if), and it's taking FOREVER for her to get her hand between his legs bc sweet little thing just wants to do it right, and he's out of his mind, half-crying, whisper-begging at this point (it's probably not even English, not German either, just mindless pleas). Her hand FINALLY wraps around his length and he's lucky he doesn't cum right then and there; she's blushing so violently at taking a man in her hands for the first time and she's seeking HIS approval with those pretty doe eyes as she bites her lip. So of course that's when there's a knock at the door (the universe hates him, he's going to scream, whoever this is is lucky he can't move and they might die anyway from the blast radius of sheer rage) and a doctor comes in for daily rounds. Reader barely has time to yank her hand back before doc sticks his head through the privacy curtains and yep our man's heart might actually just stop, he is just going to keel over right then and there. 

so not even a handjob for our poor king <3 if he doesn’t die (lol) he transfers to in-home care IMMEDIATELY and finally gets reader to himself in a more private setting where he can lock the fucking door. this is the part where I look away lmao, I'd leave him blue-balled & suffering forever ...am i a mean person?? also RIP to that doctor. this verse is so hilarious & wonderful and i love it, feels like a tug of war between tropes and genres if that makes sense which results in your delightful genius works, thank you thank you <333

This is so beautiful. I am puddle & I can't thank you enough for collaborating & I LOVE YOU Howdy anon 💋 and um, I think I got a little too excited about their first time lol oops (I can't leave him blue-balled forever! Poor man would die of heart failure 🥺)

(Tamara and Demon (1864), Mihály von Zichy)

Word count: 3.7 k

CW: 18+ NSFW. Corruption kink goes brrrr. Masturbating, dirty talking, obsessive/yandere König. Awkward handjob. First time/virgin!reader. Kinda sweet and fluffy 🩷 Also coersion/mildly dubious consent, tread carefully!

A/N: You can find the story of König x virgin!reader and their relationship so far by following the tag (könig x virgin reader)

Oh she visits him alright!

She’s much braver now that König is bedridden and can’t move. They actually spend more time together after the weightlifting accident. The intense stares haven’t gone anywhere, he's actually gotten worse in that department, but otherwise, König is behaving quite nicely.

He seems to like it when she reads to him next to his bed, which is immensely cute in her opinion. Armed with a new book in the crook of her arm, she’s on her way to visit him again for another session.

She's already accustomed to simply floating in after giving his door a light rap. She's also gotten used to the sight of guns and knives and the smell of army storage, even the manly, pungent stench of sweat that lingers on top of it. 

But it’s not the potpourri of masculine military scents that stop her at the door and nearly make her drop her book.

The King himself is lying naked on the bed – well, naked except for the bag of a mask he seems to hold on to like it’s his soul. This time, she doesn’t even see it: her eyes fly straight to the towering erection he’s stroking, urgently with one hand while the other cups a pair of shaved, pale balls.

"König…?" 

The man who calls himself King curses – in German or in English, she can’t tell. The sight of him there, caught red-handed on touching himself, only makes her feel sorry for him. König has nowhere to run and hide, nothing to cover himself with, he's not supposed to even move yet. And he is not the one who should be embarrassed, after all, she's the one who barged in on his privacy. 

Although… König doesn't look embarrassed. 

He only looks drunk and sweaty and in need.

She thinks about turning back and leaving him with hurried excuses because what the hell is she supposed to do…? Read him a book? He is still gripping his cock like it’s a sword or something, breathing like he just ran a marathon. 

And speaking of swords, that weapon is far too big for her... Hell, she doesn’t know much about swords but she would deem that sword far too big for any woman.

If she were clever, she would run away from that stare and that huge, monstrous cock. But she’s not that clever, that much is clear because everyone she’s told she’s dating König have warned her about him. Every cell in her body is warning her of danger, but she keeps running back to him, over and over again…

Well, at least he can’t move, she thinks, takes a hesitant step, and places the book down on a table. Just when she’s about to whisper some calming, soothing words to this beast, the beast speaks.

"Take your clothes off," comes a husky command from the bed, and she freezes with her fingertips still on the cover of her cute little book about German fairytales (she knows König likes his fairytales bloody). 

Normally, she would make a scene out of such audacity. She might even storm out of the room and vow to never speak to him again for daring to talk to her like that.

But… 

He looks so desperate. König looks like a giant bound for torture on that bed. And he's not the only one who has been tormented these past few weeks… The incident at the hospital has plagued her dreams every night as she has tucked herself in with the memories of König's… sword.

Perhaps it would help with his pain if she offers him relief in his time of need. No harm can come from that, surely. She doesn't know how exactly taking her clothes off will help, but if that is his wish, then it’s the least she can do. 

To her and his surprise, her hands drift to the hem of the top she’s wearing. She’s feeling rather wild – something about seeing König completely naked yet unable to move is making her act like this. Like she's the brave one. Like she’s in control now.

Dedicated to her task, she pulls the shirt over her head.

Nothing moves on that bed for a good long while. As far as she can tell, König might've stopped breathing. But by the time she takes her bra off, there’s a swallow under that hood. Then the hand slowly starts to stroke again, the moist, slick sounds continue as her breasts fall free from their confinement. 

She’s breathing heavily too, and the man on the bed is stiff as a stone: every single muscle in his body is pulled taut as he stares at her breasts like they’re the Revelation of John. Then those blue eyes lift to her face just before another command is issued.

"Take off the rest."

"The–the rest…?"

"I just want to watch you." 

His voice is hoarse and croaky, and she feels even more sorry for him – König must be in so much pain and she just keeps on teasing him. She started this, so perhaps it’s better just to see it through. 

What’s crazy though is that he actually moans when she gets out of her pants, socks, and finally, her underwear. The slick sounds of fapping increase, and he’s moaning.

She hasn’t even touched him yet… She’s just standing there before him completely naked, heat pooling low in her belly as König continues to work himself with what looks like both pleasure and pain.

"Komm… Come here," he orders next, out of breath but surprisingly politely, and she has no other option than to approach his bed. She sits down as chastely as possible, then almost jumps back up when a steel-hard thigh brushes against hers.

"Touch it. Ja?" 

Her eyes grow as wide as they can go as she takes in the cock she has touched once before, briefly and under a hospital sheet. Now it’s right there, foreign and demanding. 

Better just to see it through, her mind tweets as her hand reaches out through what feels like water. Like before, there's a sharp intake of air under the hood as she takes him in her hand. It’s even hotter than she remembered, and gives a tight pull the instant her fingers wrap around it. 

"Like this…?" 

"Just like that…"

Her meek little mouse peeps and multiple bats of eyelashes are like drug to him, it seems. The man is as tight as a bowstring when she starts to move her hand up and down, mimicking the motions she just saw him do. They're not as fast as his, and her grip must be way gentler, but she seems to do surprisingly well for an inexperienced virgin. The poor man looks like he’s about to faint on that bed. 

What she doesn’t expect, however, is König to touch her.

A large, warm palm sweeps across her ribs and lands on her breast, softly, as if he's concerned that he might scare her off. She's the one who's stopped breathing now… And then he rubs her, squeezes her. Gently… Reverently.

"You're soft," comes a strained sigh from the bed as she tries to keep her own grip both tight and gentle. She’s starting to get so wet she fears she will stain his sheets. Bewildered, she tries to change her position, but the palm cupping her breast seems to have bound her to the bed too. Nothing moves, except her hand and his as they explore each other. A giant and an angel...

Something hot and wet meets her hand as she strokes him – is he cumming already…? But it can't be, she has heard there’s supposed to be quite a bit of it when a man cums, and there’s only a few ample drops of clear liquid oozing out of the slit on his tip.

"Can't wait for the day I get to make you scream," he rasps, and her heart is hammering in her chest as more cum-like liquid streams from the slit of his cock, adding to the lewd, moist sounds of the handjob she’s giving him.

König doesn’t know she has never even kissed a guy… 

"We'll… we'll get there," she tries to soothe him, thanking her lucky stars this man can't move.

"I want to fuck you," he continues, sounding more and more desperate. "Good and hard… until you cry under me. Want to see if you can take it all in."

"König…"

"It’s a long cock, ja? I can make you squirt."

"König, I'm still a virgin… You can't–"

"Nh–Sorry… sorry."

His head falls back on the pillow, his muscles relax just for the tiniest moment. But if she thought he would finally leave her to it, she was wrong. The hand of a giant killer drops between her legs next. 

She’s sitting on the bed like she would sit on a side saddle, with one leg slightly bent, giving the horniest man on earth good enough access to the heat between her legs. She doesn’t stop him – she doesn’t even want to – as broad fingertips meet her pubic hair and slip between her already slick folds. 

"...Was? Pretty angel is all wet," he comments on her state of mess. Approvingly: like all his fears have suddenly disappeared. 

She has to fight the urge to roll her head back and moan as those agile fingers start to give her full, generous strokes. She almost messes up her rhythm while stroking his cock, which seems to have gotten even harder.

His fingers delve into her with more courage, they tease her tight, tender nub with excited circles. She tries not to jolt and shiver as he makes her even more slick, tries to ignore how her nipples grow hard from that burning stare alone. 

"Such a pretty girl… and so wet. You sure you don't want it?"

She thinks about it – how it would feel if he somehow was able to take her on that bed. If he pushed that cock inside her and if it would hurt or make her moan even more. Even the thought of trying to fit that inside her makes her thighs feel like pudding.

"I don’t know… You're still recovering."

"Heh… That's not a problem. You can be on top. I'll help," he offers as if it’s a gentlemanly thing to do, to help her bounce on that huge cock. 

"I–I'd rather do it the classic way."

"I'll show you classic when I get better," he promises with unconcealed greed. "I'll show you all the other ways too. We’ll do it any way you like."

She tries hard not to whimper when hearing his promise. She tries her best to pleasure the biggest cock she’s ever seen. It’s ridiculous that it’s the only cock she’s ever seen... What sort of a cruel joke was it from the universe to choose this king-sized Austrian to be her first man? 

She wonders how König would react if she told him he’s too big for her.

Would he try to change her mind? Would he have a meltdown? 

Would he cry…? 

She doubts if this man ever cries. The last time a brutal soldier like him shed tears was probably when he was a kid. But he did look like he was about to cry that one time when she booped his nose... 

And despite being a cold-blooded soldier and somewhat awkward at times, König has always been so, so delicate with her. He's tender even now, touching her with the gentlest avarice there is. But that searing stare wants to possess her, devour her, and it makes her bite her lip nearly to the point of drawing blood.

"Sit on my face?" he offers next, this time sounding so desperate it's almost pathetic. 

Sit on his face… 

What would he even do? Lick her? Try to push his tongue inside her while finishing himself?

The thought alone makes her mess up her rhythm again and causes her pussy to pulse more wetness on his fingers. She secretly hopes he would slip at least one of those fingers inside.

"Let me see your cunt," he begs. God – this giant mercenary is begging to see her poor, aching pussy. "Just… let me at least taste you–"

She can’t even reply before the hand between her legs gives a sudden twitch and stops those delicious rubs. Actually, his whole body is going rigid. 

"König…? Am I hurting you?"

"I'm–gonna cum…" 

Oh god.

Oh god ohgod-

She's not sure what gives her more of a fright: the sound that leaves her soldier boyfriend as he cums, or the bright, hot flash of liquid that shoots from the cock in her hand.

He groans like it’s torture. Long and hard, so loud that she’s sure other people can hear it in the neighboring rooms, perhaps even further than that. There’s one, two, three spurts of thick, hot liquid, after that, she loses count because it spills to coat his stomach, it runs down her hand, and she’s pumping him in a frenzy while he just keeps on moaning.

"Slow, slow down–" he tries to groan in the middle of his climax and she obeys immediately, reveling in how his cock still throbs in her hand when she finally stops moving altogether. More cum gushes out with every strong pulse, even if the eruptions are less violent. Ropes of it already cover his abs, it coats her hand with thick film – it's far more than she would ever have expected, and a shiver goes through her as she imagines what it must feel like to take all of that semen inside her… 

"Ah… Das war wirklich…" König sighs dreamily while she must be looking like a startled deer.

Yes, that was really something… She doesn’t know what to do with his cock, or her hand, or the mess that coats half his body.

Luckily, he instructs her to take his old shirt from the floor and clean herself with it. She cleans him with it too, dabs the black t-shirt over his muscled stomach, even tries to swipe his crotch with it as gently as she can. 

König looks happier by the minute, looks at her like she’s an angel or something, and when she fully commits herself to getting him cleaned up, he gets another erection. She’s quite horrified – how is this even possible…? She thought men would need at least hours to get it back up again.

"Come on top," he offers, sounding all but seductive with that commanding tone. 

She swallows, thinking if König wants to be a "gentleman" and finish her too. With his tongue... or something else.

"Just for a hug? We don't have to put it in."

She seems to be under some spell tonight, because she simply drops the poor, cum-stained shirt back on the floor and crawls to the bed and on top of him.

König is hot and lean as she presses herself against him, her thighs now straddling the intimidating thing between his legs. Her head falls right beside his mask-covered face, and the smell of guns and fuel and sweat is prominent there, as is his natural odor, the woodland musk she has grown so fond of.

"There we go," his arms go around her waist, pressing her tighter against him. There’s no escape now, she thinks, but like always with König, she eventually softens and relaxes, molds against him… Accepts her fate.

"You did well, Meine Liebe," he even caresses her head as she slowly melts into his hold. "I’m sorry if I frightened you. Will you forgive me?"

"Um, of course."

"A gentleman should always apologize if he has upset his lady. Do you agree?"

"Uh… Yes."

"I promise to be a good man. The best man you could ever hope for."

She bites her lip as König continues to caress her. She’s far from upset, but she doesn’t want to tell him that and excite him too much. Otherwise he might end up hurting himself. He hugs her tight, and seems to have calmed down more than ever.

Is this what an orgasm does to a man...? The change is drastic, and her lover feels warm, and tender, and inviting. He even whispers more promises on her skin. They're nonsensical but gentle, König is probably trying to be romantic, but she can feel how his breaths grow heavier as time goes on. After all, they're both naked, pressed tightly together, closer than ever before, and he's having an erection again...

She tries not to shiver at the things he tells her. The husky promises of love and protection: "You are mine now, ja? Don’t be afraid. I would never hurt you. I will always keep you safe." And then, "You’re still wet, mein Mädchen… How about we practice just a little bit? We'll do it slow. Ja? I will make you moan…"

He coos those things in her ear while holding her in place for his cock. She starts to move on her own accord; it’s like her hips have their own will. Soon, her entrance meets the tip of him, still hot and bulged, and she starts to grind against it with barely restrained greed. She is wet – wetter than ever. 

König curses multiple times under his breath, and she feels so, so filthy for loving how unhinged he is, how unhinged she is – spread wide on top of him like that, trying to get off of the faintest touch of his cock. She’s so soaked that the hot tip of him glides across her folds with no effort at all. 

She feels like she’s doing something forbidden, taking her pleasure from him like that, but König doesn’t seem to know what the word filthy even means. He keeps praising her, guiding her, helping her, telling her how good she feels, that she’s doing so, so well.

Soon, he’s asking to put it in – just the tip. 

She tries her best not to sound too needy as she breathes a soft, mousy "Yes."

"How does that feel?"

He’s panting, few inches of thick cock inside her, and she thinks, did she just lose her virginity? Is this it? Why isn’t it hurting?

“You like that, hmm?”

He feels so, so good, pressing her against him, spreading her legs with his own, trying to feed more of that marvelous thickness inside. It doesn’t hurt, at least not yet. It makes her dizzy to even think what she must be looking like, with her legs spread and a huge cock partly inside her.

She should say something… What was it that he asked? Oh yes, if she likes it. She more than just likes it, and tries to push herself down to get more of him in. König reacts immediately with a ton of praise leveled at her in the softest possible way.

“That's it, that's it, pretty girl, take it in…”

Him cheering her on like that only makes her decide that it’s time to let go and let go for good. But she can’t get him in by herself, not while he’s holding her a prisoner like this.

"More… König, please," she hears herself whimper. 

God, is this all it took...? Him holding her close and letting her find the joys of sex herself? Apparently so, because he sounds goddamn smug when he turns his head to rasp more needy, throaty things in her ear.

"Ah… Knew you'd beg for it… "

His voice makes her inner walls clamp down on him, and that’s when it hurts, but only slightly. She wants him so much that it’s painful. And König… God, he keeps on showering her with praises and promises.

"I'll show you how good it can be… That's it, let me hear you. It's a good cock, ja? Good cock for a pretty girl…"

It’s not even fully in before he starts the thrusts. That’s when she knows she has lost her virginity. She’s being plunged. Not taken… Just… loved, thoroughly and deeply. 

When she moans, finally sounds as filthy as can be, he tells her how tight she is. How good she feels. He says he’s going to cum again soon. But not before her…

He doesn’t need to instruct her to rub her clit on his pelvis in rhythm with the thrusts. She is smart enough to do that by herself. And the thoughts of This is it, I’m not a virgin anymore have turned into Is it possible to cum on your first time…?

Everything’s perfect, all things considered. But there’s something missing.

"König," she swallows arduously. "I’ve never been kissed... Would you– Could you…?"

He stops moving, releases his hold a little. A strong heart is hammering inside his chest, she can feel it against her own fluttering heartbeat. 

Is it stupid of her to ask…? Will he only laugh at her for being so sentimental?

Apparently no, because it’s the warmest possible command that surrounds her this time.

"Lift the mask, angel."

By the time their lips meet, both hesitant and needy, he's fully inside her and holding her like a mountain. She feels like she's in a fairytale now: the only thing that moves is his mouth, and hers. Theirs is a slow, hungry rhythm. 

Her first kiss is not only awkwardly romantic and sweet, it’s sinfully good. 

The kiss also does things she did not expect. Her pussy goes tight around him, so tight that a whimper or two escape her nose, and König only purrs – she feels like the softest little creature in the embrace of a lean jaguar.

And she thinks… 

Why on earth didn't they do this months ago?

[lolita-lollipop]

Could I request a fantasy Au! with barbarian bakugou & dragon kirishima with a village girl darling. After one of their village friends dares them to go into the cave where they live, and so happens to wake dragon kirishima & trying to flee away from him but ends up getting injured.

YANDERE BARBARIAN BAKUGO X READER X DRGAON KIRISHIMA

HAPPY UPDATE DAY MY LOVELY LITTLE READERS!

“Cmon y/n… it’ll be fun I promise. Just in and out, and if you can do it we’ll all do your chores for the rest of the month” the older blonde haired boy pleaded, feigning friendship with you. Kaminari and his goons were quite known around the village as the rich assholes who knew they could do anything they wanted. You just happened to be the only one younger than them in this stupid village, so naturally you were a target.

They had been… teasing you recently. About your unease of the cave only a few miles out from town. You lived in a heavily forested area, with trees stretching for miles, and there were many… rumors. Or myths. Or even fairy tails if that’s what you wanted to call it. Of fairy’s who pranced about during the night feeding on lost souls, of half human half horse being who would stomp you into oblivion, of mermaids who lure you into the waters and never let you leave. Those stories you could handle. But there was always one… the tale of the two dragons, it was quite common in your town that the parents would tell the story to their young children in order to keep them from going into the woods alone.

It said that two dragons live in that cave, searching for lost children, and when they find those children, they eat them.

Yes, not the most complex story, however there was just something about that cave, all the older kids regularly visited it, vandalizing tne stone caverns. It was technically against the kings rule to do such a thing, but nobody was brave enough to go there and check. You never did, not once did you go when kaminari invited you, he had such a knack for finding ways to make you uncomfortable.

When you kept denying his invitations, he finally caught on. You. We’re. Scared. And boy did it get a rise out of him, it was like he had never heard anything funnier.

“Y-you’re scared of a cave because of that stupid horror story your parents told you when you were little? Jesus give me a break” he would say between cackles. Then, he would go silent, and then things got real bad.

All of a sudden it was like Every waking hour of his was like it was his goal in life to get you into that cave, he would knock on your door at 5 am to ask you, then pester you all day, only to wake you up at 12 at night to ask you again. And kept you awake until you gave him a maybe.it made you want to gouge your eyes out at how well he was getting under your skin, you weren’t sleeping so you didn’t have the energy to go do all the tasks you had in the farm, meaning you didn’t get paid as much as usual, meaning you couldn’t eat everyday.

It had been weeks since he started this, and now it was beginning to break you down, you were stuck thin and tired all the time. Meanwhile he stayed plump and healthy, having nothing better to do than to bully a poor girl must be a luxury of being rich. And so, reluctantly, after weeks of pure torture. You said yes.

“Fine. I’ll go into your stupid cave, but only for a minute. I’m not staying a while.” You mumbled out, tears starting to form at the edges of your eyes. You didn’t want to say yes, but you were just so tired.

“Okay! Let’s go.” He spoke chirpily. Skipping off into the woods with your Raggy sleeve in his hand. As you got closer and closer it was like all of the trees were waning away from you, screaming at you to get out and run far away, to never come back.

“N-now? But I have to work-“ you sputtered out, struggling to keep in line with the tall boy, your forehead was glistening in the sun with sweat now, your eyes were wide, your hands wee clammy, it was just oh so obvious that you were uneased.

“Work can wait, it’s not like you’re accomplishing anything anyway. Only for a minute. We’re almost there!” He continued cheering happily, you hated him, you hated him for exploiting you like this, you hated that he was forcing you into a place you would rather die than go into. You hated this.

But you could do very little to fight back against the older boy, now that you said yes you highly doubted he would let you turn back on your decision. So you kept your mouth shut, and tried to press the bile stuck in your throat down, along with your anxiety. It didn’t take very long to arrive at the cavern, it was just an obsidian blue opening in one of the taller hills of the forest, sorrounded by trees. There were little glistening crystals jabbing out front he opening. You knew they hadn’t been mined because everybody was far too fearful to go near the place. It was a warning in itself.

Denki shoved you forward with a harsh push to your back, you winced and looked back at him, trying to plead with your eyes that you were scared, that you didn’t want to do this. To no avail of course, as he just sent one of those condescending smiles of his, and gave you another shove.

“It’ll be so quick, I’ll count sixty seconds and then call for you. Just in and out y/n. Don’t you dare come out early” he hissed at you, and shoved you for the third time today. And so you went tumbling into the cave without anything, no flashlight, thin clothing( which did nothing against the cool breeze wafting around the cave), no weapon. No food. If you weren’t scared up there staring into the cave, staring into the belly of the beast, you definitely were now.

You counted the seconds, and wandered further, searching for a wall to press yourself against in order to feel safe. But found nothing, by the time you’d come to a slow you’d only reached thirty seconds, and also realized you had gotton lost in the dark. It was pitch black here, you couldn’t even see your hands in front of you, let alone the sorroundings, before it was too late you stopped paying attention to which direction your steps were in, and now you didn’t know where you were.

37

38

39

40

Now you were panicking, you couldn’t feel anything, or see anything around you, and you sure as hell didn’t know wether you were going further in or out of the cave. Your heart started racing, and now those tears that had threatened to spill earlier were beginning to slip out of those e/c eyes of yours onto your face. Panic seeped into your system, and you realized.

Denki would just leave you here if you didn’t come out when he yelled for you. He wouldn’t care if you were ok, he wouldn’t give a damn. He would leave you here alone in the dark.

55

56

57

58

59

All of a sudden you felt something behind you, perhaps you’d walked far enough to find some kind of wall to quite you out of here, or at least to provide you some comfort. But also, this felt wrong, like it wasn’t something that belonged to the cave…

60.

And like that, you felt a shove in your back that pushed you forward, your foot caught in a jagged rock in the ground so you toppled. But instead of meeting a harsh rocky ground, instead of breaking half of the bones in your body, you began to plummet straight down. You didn’t know what could’ve been worse.

The screams that left your mouth were quiet and breathleSs, too clouded by sheer terror to be very loud. Your hands found your head and your clutched your ears, trying not to panic too hard. It was all to fast, and then you hit the ground, and everything was so slow.

You screamed out in agony as you fell almost 90 feet onto a sharp crystal-like stone, which pierced through your leg. The sobs that left you were ugly and snotty, but you had never felt pain like this before. You were gonna die at the bottom of this cave, and no one was going to know you were even here.

“KAMINARI PLEASE. PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME HERE IM HURT. ILL DIE” you screamed out, but no one answered. You just sat there sobbing for over five minutes, too hyper fixated on the pain to care about anything else. Then you heard the voices coming from above, but your mind was beginning to go blurry, you couldn’t see how much blood you had already lost, but you felt empty now so it had to be a lot. You couldn’t make out most of the conversation.

“P-please sir- I did what you asked, I led her here and put her in your nest- please let me go” you were able to recognize the pleading voice as kaminaris, he seemed… scared? Of who? There was somebody else he was talking to. Nest?

“What I asked was for you to give her to me, now she is hurt because you weren’t fucking careful. Not only were you over three weeks late on getting her here, you also caused her pain. Is that what I fuckung asked you to do, boy?” A man’s voice spoke in, it was so tough that it sounded like the man had been eating sandpaper his entire life, but it was also very crisp, very harsh. He was angry. VeryObviously.

Your consciousness began to loop in and out, but after that, all you could hear were screams, and the occasional pleading. You heard a crunch once. This only fed into your fear, and now you found yourself frantically trying to un-impale yourself from the crystal, but it just wasn’t budging. Then, all the noise stopped, which was alarming in its own. Then, you felt a sliver of some kind of tail slide past your leg, then again on the back of your neck, and then. To your utmost terror, something- or someone swooped you off of your feet, and begin to hold you above the ground.

Then you fainted

———

You woke up in the same cave, with a piercing headache, your body felt like ice and burning fire at the same time. It was agonizing. The cave was the same, but now there was some form of light shining about, which showcased how this place looked less alike a cave and more like a den. There was faint bickering in the background, but you couldn’t turn to look at whoever two men were talking, your body was frozen in its spot.

Around along the cave walls there were furs of animals hanging off of ropes tied to what you thought was a ceiling , a few blankets that looked too new to be used by the inhabitants of this cave, along with a few pillows. And the jewels, there were jewels everywhere, billions of dollars worth of diamonds and rubys and sad fires. While the cave was beautiful, it was also terrifying, there was no ladder out, and there were sharp weapons everywhere. They weren’t the spears and swords of your people either, these were crafted out of wood, but looked sharper than a diamond.

Then you became aware of the same voice from earlier, softer now, less angry, talking to somebody else.

“He is gone now, no need to fuss darling. She will wake soon, and we will nurse the little one back to health. Poor girl. Already running a fever” you felt a little bit of heat over your body for a split second, and something was making a blowing noise, but then it stopped suddenly, and the sound of a slap rang out.

“We have to be gentle remember? Humans are such fragile creatures, especially children, they might just snap if you push them even a little too hard. Our little one will be safe with us. “ with those words you could move your hands, and then you could scrunch your nose, and then your mouth. They must’ve drugged you to make you soft because most of your body was numb. You began trying to see if you could move at all, but the fluffy blankets under you made it hard to sit up.

Almost immediately a man with blond spiky hair was looming over you, he moved so fast you hadn’t seen him, he tucked his arms under you and lifted you up with such ease that it didn’t seem human. In fact, he didn’t seem human at all, his eyes golden and seemingly glowing, his body too strong. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, but there were leather straps strapped around his chest, along with some fur pants with jangly beads hanging down front he belt. You hadn’t realized you were screaming until he began to hush you.

“It’s okay. It’s alright, your body will feel like this for a short while, I had to give you a little something to make you calm down or you might’ve killed yourself. I did it to help you alright?”it was so hard for you to get out an answer to that without pain, so you just closed your eyes and rested… only to open them again and see the stranger staring at your face. He knew you were awake clearly. But it was almost like he didn’t know what to do with you.

Hot breath behind you found it’s way into your senses again, which naturally alarmed you. You had though it was just you and this.. man? Creature? In here. So you tried to get to see whatever it was. And when you did, you began sobbing once more, and shrill screaming was heard throughout the den.

A thing. No, a dragon was just standing there staring at you, probably thinking about how it wanted to eat you, it’s bright red skin and glowing yellow eyes pierced into your soul as you stared and stared and stared. And the more you did, the more terrifying it got.

“No no no no no- kiri- go hide for now you are scaring her. it’s alright baby, it’s alright. He won’t hurt you, i swear.” Cooed the man as he covered your eyes and pressed you into his bare chest. His warmth was such a contrast to the stark cold in this cave, you could tell something was unusual about him, like this was demonstrating some sort of special behavior. This man just seemed so harsh with kaminari , but his voice turned soft with you, completely different from when he was with denki .

Of course, this still didn’t help you calm down, in fact it just made you more fearful. It made you realize the weight of the situation, kaminari was likely dead and he’s the only one who knew you were here, and you were with one inhuman man, and either a dragon or one really terrifying lizard.

The tears ran freely from your eyes as you stared ag this man, he just hushed you and pulled you closer, tucking your head into the knook of his shoulder and slightly bouncing you. His grip was just so strong, and you were too weak form the blood loss, the starvation, and whatever drug he had given you to try and fight back right now.

The barbarian royalty hadn’t expected you to come today, he’s only seen you from afar before when you were slightly smaller, running through the forests, you had sensed him staring at you, and ran the other way.

You were just so small. So tiny. Many of the humans around avoided the cave, and the town nearby wasn’t exactly known for baring many children, he hadn’t seen one as young as you in over 15 years. And god did it awaken something in him, and something in his dragon too.

They used to care for children when they were younger, children who showed clear signs of mistreatment, children who got too curious and wandered into their nest. But then the village caught on to why so many young ones began to go missing. And they tried to kill the “beasts” in this cave. Of course they failed, and of course they all died. The tale that pursued was nothing but a childrens fairytale to frighten the little ones from wandering. And the two inhabitants were forgotten.

And this town, this town has become cursed, after you, the young ones stopped coming, no children could be had, so there were no children to care for. Which is why you were so special. Oh gods you smelled so fresh, so pure, and he could tell that boy that was nothing but a pile of blood and bones had been doing something to you, you smelled of sadness, of exhaustion.

He would nurse you back into too shape though.

He would take care of you, along with his partner.

He would make you a big soft nest where you could go when you got overwhelmed, when you got scared.

He would care for you

Oh god how happy will his tribe be when they found out he had found his child

———————————————————————————————————

Hello.

My very sparse updating schedule is because I’m lazy and lack the energy to write :P

I have a good moonknight work on the way though!

Thank you so much for all the concern about my well-being! Im not dead and I am (almost) fully mentally stable:)

And if anybody wants some kind of mafia au fic please request now!

I love y’all! Bye bye!

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 8.2 K Warnings: none Prompt: The Marauders x Vixen parank is finally about to happen.. How will the students react to a school flooded with frogs? This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely @aremuslupinsimp

Chapter 62: Born to be Wild

Wednesday 12th, 1977 - 08:20 AM

“So? You think she’s too hurt?” you asked as you leaned over the Slytherin table. 

“You said she crashed on the floor and rolled a couple of times, yeah?” Solacis asked. He was the one person you knew had a lot of knowledge of owls, so you had gone to him as soon as he appeared at the door. 

“Yeah, she was trying to crash onto me, but I got out of the way.” 

“And she bit you?” 

“But that’s been taken care of,” you said reassuringly. “I’m worried about her, though. She was stunned. I don’t think James used much strength but–” 

“But she’s way smaller than a human,” Solacis nodded. Nieve was still asleep, but she stirred as Solacis extended her wing to check on her. His delicate pale hands were softly touching her feathers when Nox and Regulus arrived at the table. 

“Hey, Vix,” Nox said. He’d heard Prongs calling you that one day and it had stuck. 

Reggie said your name quietly with a nod and sat down beside you. You hadn’t had a proper talk since that day, and something told him that then wouldn’t be a good moment to do it either. “How are you?” 

“Good,” you replied with a genuine smile, he could tell. “You?” 

He smiled, although it seemed like it was hard for him to do it, “Yeah, that too.” 

Nox and Solacis were talking about the owl while you looked at him with a bit of a frown. He cleared his throat and handed you a piece of bread. You knew he was trying to divert the attention from it, he probably couldn’t talk about it there. “I’ll see you later about that homework, yeah?” 

“What homework?” Nox asked, clearly worried he’d forgotten his own.

“Reggie’s gonna help me with something,” you excused and then turned to Solacis. “Is she okay?” 

“She’ll be all right,” he reassured you. “Mix some Boswelia and Chamomile with her food, and keep an eye on her. She’ll be like new in a few days. I think she just took a bad hit, but she won’t be able to fly for a while. So if you need to take a message somewhere I suggest you use your other owl.” 

“Right, will do,” you said with a smile. “Thanks, Sol, I owe you one.” 

“You can pay back by not being so savage next time we play quidditch.” 

“Oh, no, you’d have to pick something else,” you added with a smirk and a wink. 

“Indeed, you have to practise more, Solacis, not get your opponents to go easier on you,” Dorcas said as she sat right in front of them. “Nice to see you, Luv.” 

“Same,” you smiled as you stood. “I better get to my table before I’m called a house traitor.” 

“I think you should just change your robes to green and join us.” 

“I could make room for you in my chambers,” Dorcas offered with a smirk. 

“And have to share a common room with Snivellus? No, thank you!” you joked. Dorcas cackled while the others laughed, even if a little more discreetly. Severus, who wasn’t that far off, threw you an angry look, which you noticed out of the corner of your eye. Even Barty was concealing a smile as Evan told Severus something related to their homework. You smiled and picked Nieve from their table carefully. “Thanks again,” you told Solacis with a smile and walked back to your table with the owl in your hands. 

“How did it go?” Remus asked.

“Great, I know what plants I should feed her… Mind coming with me to the herbology classroom later?” 

“Sure,” he retorted with a smile. “Perhaps after the thing.” 

“What thing?” Asked Marlene as she leaned towards you. 

“Oh, just a thing,” you retorted, making it sound as casual as possible. “Nothing to worry about.” 

“Don’t tell me you’ve gotten yourself involved in another Marauder’s prank? Last time we lost James and Sirius in the game, and we’re playing Slytherin again, we’ll need James! Regulus has been practising since you beat him to the snitch.” 

“I’d never do such a thing,” you said as you looked at Remus, complicity dancing in both gazes. “Quidditch comes first, pranks come later,” you added resolutely.  

“Aye!” James said as he took a bite from his toast. Lily, who was sitting beside him, rolled her eyes and handed him a napkin since he’d gotten crumbs all over his face. 

Breakfast came and went without much more eventualities. Peter didn’t wake up in time but you saved some food for him and handed it over when he caught up with you on your way to charms after you went back to your room to leave Nieve in a small heap of pillows. 

“Thanks, Vixen,” he said as he took out the sandwich from its napkin. “And it’s roast beef with brown sauce!” He said after he gave it a bite. “Brilliant!” 

“No problem,” you said with a simple shrug. 

By the time you arrived at your classroom, the five of you were beaming with the excitement of the imminent prank. Peter had gobbled the last half of his sandwich just before walking inside the classroom. 

“That can’t be good for your health mate,” James said with a frown as he pointed at Peter.

The latter cleared his throat before retorting “Shut up, Prongs!”

“Just looking out for you,” James said as he raised his hands in surrender. “I think you’re going back to nervous eating. You know your mum told me that–” 

“James!” he complained now, motioning to the fact that there were plenty of people around. James didn’t know why it was such an issue for Peter to talk about it but didn’t press further. Peter, on the other hand, hated the idea of talking about his food issues in front of people, especially in front of Sirius and Remus who seemed to be so fit without putting any effort into it –according to him.  Sirius literally did quidditch every morning with you and James. And while Remus didn’t do anything special, he did do a freaking intense amount of exercise whenever he was a wolf, not to mention he often took walks around the school when he wanted to be alone. 

“Sorry, sorry,” James retorted. “We’ll talk about it later.” 

Peter tried not to roll his eyes as he rushed inside the classroom. 

Professor Flitwick was already inside the classroom, standing at his little podium like he often would during classes, you smiled and nodded his way as you walked inside along with the boys. As you were walking to sit next to Remus (as you usually did on Charms), Lily pulled you from her spot near the front and had you sit beside her. 

“You’re not going anywhere,” she told you as you fell onto the chair. Remus threw you a questioning look and you shrugged in response. When Sirius realised Remus wouldn’t be sitting with you, he went straight to take your normal spot and sent you a daring sort of gaze, as if to show off the fact that he was sitting next to Rem instead of you. 

“Are you even listening to me?” Lily asked as she shook you by the shoulder.

“Yes, sorry,” you replied as you turned to her, “you said we had to hand in an essay today but you totally forgot about it.” 

“And you forgot it too, you dumbass, I’ve checked your notes,” she said as she pointed at the pile of papers you had now left on the table, including a few scrolls and a notebook, the essay was nowhere in sight. 

“I didn’t forget,” you said with a smile. 

“Well it’s not here either,” she said as she moved your papers around again. 

“No, I just didn’t do it.” 

“You what?” she asked in shock. You had been in study club since the start, and you had always handed in your homework on time. In fact, she thought you were as dedicated as her, if perhaps a little more relaxed. 

You smirked. “You really shouldn’t worry so much. For one, I’m sure Flitwick would forgive and forget if one of his favourite students forgot to bring their homework. Two, I have the feeling everyone’s gonna forget about the homework in a few minutes.” 

“Oh no, the toads,” she whispered, the grip on her wand tightened. “You know, I blame you for forgetting it, I spent all of last night looking up spells in case of an emergency.” 

“Oh, that’s so not on me,” you retorted with a smile. 

“Welcome, welcome,” Flitwick said, voice slightly louder than it had been previously. “I hope you all had an excellent Christmas break…” 

You tried not to think too much of your Christmas break, although there had definitely been some a few –although very few– things that you would have considered excellent from the tumultuous time the past few weeks had been for you. 

“… today we’re going to be looking at complex charms combinations. Does anybody know what charm combining consists of?” 

Lily and Remus raised their hands. You would have raised yours as well but decided to let either of them answer instead. 

“Miss Evans,” Flitwick said as he pointed at her with his wand. 

“Combining spells consists of taking the main properties of two or more spells and weaving them together to create a new spell that either does both things or something slightly different.” 

“And what’s a good example?” 

Lily frowned and licked her lips as she thought of an answer, and then she smiled. “Lumus Solem,” she said. “It combined the brightness of Lumus with the heat and rays of the sun. If done without care it can be extremely dangerous due to radiation.” 

Flitwick smiled, seemingly satisfied at her answer. “Precisely–” he started but got interrupted by a boy who raised her hand and spoke before being indicated. 

“Can Lumus really be dangerous?” he asked. 

“Certain variations of the spell definitely can. A potent enough Lumos could blind you either temporarily or permanently. Lumos Solem, has been used as a torture device in the past as well. Long exposure has been known not only to cause severe dehydration but even grade 3 sunburns–” 

Flitwick was interrupted yet again, this time by a girl’s shriek You turned to the source of the scream with the most surprised face you could pull off. 

“What’s with this fuss?” he asked in a rather stern tone. Flitwick didn’t get angry very often, but he’d gotten interrupted twice already and he really didn’t appreciate being interrupted.

“Toads, Professor,” replied the same boy from before. 

“Excuse me?” 

“There are many of them,” added another girl who was moving her feet out of the way. The students in the back had were already getting on their seats. 

“Please sit down,” the small professor said as he shook his head in exasperation. From his position, he couldn’t quite see the tsunami of toads that was about to reach him. Besides, he quite liked toads, after all, he was planning to reopen the Frog Choir that had been lost after 1959 when Professor Marcus Bonnknott passed away. 

Filius had only heard them play a few times during his first and second years in Hogwarts, and he was very upset when the choir died along with Marcus, who he thought was fascinating. It was in fact, because of said professor that he had gotten himself into music after graduating and before being offered the Charms Teacher position by Dombuldore in the early 70s. 

But neither of the students seemed to listen, which obviously exasperated him and forced him to walk down from his podium only to see a small toad jumping his way. He leaned down and picked it up carefully. “Is this little guy the one causing you to leave your seats so hastily?” 

“No, Professor,” said Imgoen as she shook her head. “It’s the amount of them.” 

By then both you and Lily had gotten over your seats and were currently sitting on the table. What could only be described as a herd of toads was approaching the front of the room. The stone floor of the classroom turned green and brown as the toads jumped around, trying to find some space within the now swampy water running from the end of the classroom. 

Lily threw you a look and you just shrugged as you straightened up and looked at the mess you’d created along with the boys. 

“Oh Dear, quite a catastrophe, I see,” said Flitwick as he took his wand out and waved it in the air. With a swish and a flick, about a hundred toads were lifted from the ground and started floating above everyone.

“Ugh… that’s gross,” said a Hufflepuff boy as he nudged one of the toads further from his face using his wand. 

“Please refrain from touching the animals,” Flitwick said as he threw the boy a stern look. 

Another girl had picked a salt shaker from her bag and was diligently throwing it around her. 

“What do you think you’re doing, Miss Griffith?” 

“Salt will make them squirm, I’m keeping them away from me,” she said urgently as she continued, even if none of the frogs seemed to mind. 

“That’s with slugs, you dumbass,” retorted Tom with a cackle. He’d been sitting next to her because after Lily pulled you to sit beside her, the normal sit arrangement had been skewed and his place –next to Beth– had been taken by Marlene. 

“Shut up,” the girl said as she continued throwing salt. 

Peter was laughing as he stared until a toad got on his feet and he shook it off with a short scream as he also got on top of the table.

James, Sirius and Remus were definitely enjoying the absolute chaos as they all stood at their desks, they didn’t even bother to sit on them and looked riddicolously tall in comparison to Flitwick which just made the whole scene all the more amusing.

“Please, calm down,” Flitwick said, as he managed to lift a few more toads into the air. All of them with their small legs extended and looking as confused as you’d imagine a flying toad would. And then another swamp bomb fell to the floor, the water level increased and tons of toads started appearing. “Goodness,” he said as another bomb fell from the other side of the classroom. 

Lily had her wand up in the air as she stared at the toads with a “ready to attack” sort of gaze and you suppressed a smile as some other students were already using protection spells around themselves and keeping them up as the toads walked past the feet of the chairs and table. 

“All right, perhaps we should exit the classroom instead,” he said as he tried to lift some of the toads that had just appeared along with the others. “Please form a careful line and–” 

It was useless, the moment he said they could leave, most students bolted towards the exit like runaway horses, pushing each other while trying to keep themselves as far away as possible from the toads, which was pretty much impossible, since they were all over the floor, not to mention everyone’s pants and socks were now pretty wet with murky water. 

Lily sighed and took out her wand. “Bufonem repelleare,” she said and waved her wand around her shoes, as she placed her feet on the murky water, the toads seemed to form a circle around her, as if avoiding her entirely. 

Beth gasped as she pointed at her, “Lily, come and save me!” She said as she pointed at her feet, which got some other students staring quite impressed at her. 

“Masterful use of spell combination, Miss Evans,” said Flitwick as he pointed at her and continued to move the toads as far away from the students as it was possible for him to do. 

“You’re coming?” Lily asked as she offered you her hand.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got an escape my plan for myself prepared,” you told her with a wink, and as she walked towards Beth you finally got on the table. Your seat was rather close to the windows, and the door was on the other side, which meant you had quite a walk to make before exiting the toadtrap you had created; but you weren’t looking forward to getting your feet wet, let alone your socks, which Lily had taken in as a necessary evil. 

You stood on the chair and then on your table, and from there, you jumped to the table in front of it, the students there were already outside of the classroom, and then you jumped towards the table next to it. The boys, upon seeing what you did, were now imitating you. And they were much faster since they had longer legs. 

By the time you got to the third row of seats, Remus was standing on the desk right in front of yours and Sirius was right next to it. You raised your eyebrows at the boy in front of you and he smiled, placing one hand behind his back and extending the other towards you, “Allow me, my lady,” he said in the noblest of tones. 

You chuckled under your breath as you diverted your gaze to hide the smile you just couldn’t keep away from your lips at this point. He really had read an excessive amount of romance books. 

“Kind Sir,” you said as you took his hand, not because you needed his hand to cross to the other side, but because you wanted to hold his hand. It was a simple gesture and helped you stand right next to him. 

“Oh Moony, you’ll make me jealous,” Sirius teased. “How come she’s getting preferential treatment?” 

It was the smirk on Sirius’ lips that told the both of you that he was just teasing. “It’s all right Puppy, I’ll help you to the other side.” You extended your hand towards him and he used it to jump onto the same table in which the two of you were standing. Now the three of you were stupidly close to each other, not that either of you cared. 

There was a short exchange of glances between the three before Moony jumped to the next table and you followed shortly afterwards. But by the time you extended your hand for Sirius, you felt the table tremble underneath you, even if it was just for a second. You looked around, the feet to try and spot if there was something that was causing it, perhaps a toad that got stuck or something of the sort, but there seemed to be nothing happening down there. Sirius took your hand and jumped towards the two of you, but the second he landed next to you one of the legs gave out, and the three of you plummeted to the floor.

While the toads managed to escape being crushed by any of you three, you did not get away without being completely soaked in the swampy water.  

You groaned, the water hadn’t done much to cushion the fall, and you and Sirius had been the ones to cushion most of it for Remus. 

“Should have come with me,” Lily said as she shook her head and walked towards the door. While you were sore, you still had enough energy to lean your head towards her and pull out your tongue. She shook her head, clearly amused. “Suit yourself.” 

You huffed and then let yourself rest back in the water. What does it matter at this point, it’s already soaked, you thought. A toad jumped closer to you and Sirius scared it away before it reached your fave.

“Sorry,” Remus muttered as he tried to get up since he’d fallen on top of both of you but his hand slipped and he ended up falling over the two again. 

Sirius groaned and you let out a low “uff!”

“Sorry again,” Remus said hurriedly, trying not to think too much of how nice it felt to be that close to you, given the conditions around.  Those being the fact that half of your heads were submerged in murky water and that the frogs now seemed to want to approach you.

“It’s all right, try slower this time,” you told him, offering your hand for some stability, when he finally got up from the floor he realised that most students –and the teacher– had already found a way out of the mess. Once he was up, he helped the both of you stand. 

“They left us?” Sirius asked with a gasp. “We fell, and they left us!” 

“Vixen stuck her tongue out at Lily,” Remus pointed out. “She would have probably waited.” 

“Never mind Evans, It’s Prongs that offends me,” he added with a huff that made you chuckle. 

What neither of you knew was that he had made that table fall and that he had left the three of you at your own luck in retaliation for the bomb that he had left in his pocket and that you had knowingly not warned him about.  But he also thought the three of you could benefit from some time alone, so he was both, taking his revenge, and playing cupid. 

You leaned your arm up towards you, smelled the sleeve of your sweater, and made a slightly disgusted face. “We stink now,” you said as you pulled it as far away from your face as possible. “How about you throw some relashio my way?” 

Remus extended his wand towards you but Sirius was quicker and stopped him, “I’ve got a way better idea than that.” 

“Sirius we’re not swimming on the black lake, I know you’ve wanted to do that all year, but it’s literally snowing out there, it’s a terrible idea.”

“Not that!” Sirius said as he shoved Remus. “It’s a great idea, I promise,” he added with his signature smirk and stepped forward, taking the lead. “Follow me, pretty things.” 

“Did he just–” Remus said as he pointed at Sirius and turned to you.

“Yup,” you said with a nod. “You better get used to it,” you added before nodding your head to the side, inviting him to follow behind Sirius who was already near the door. At least the toads were kind enough to jump out of the way as you walked towards it. 

The hall wasn’t much better either, some classrooms were still figuring their way out and their doors were crammed with people trying to leave, the stone was coated in a rather thin layer of water that only got more and more filled by the minute and everyone was trying to find somewhere safe. 

“What is going on?” Someone shouted, tone laced with desperation as he had to turn to the side when he spotted another tramp of toads coming from the hallway he intended to take. 

While in the world, “all roads lead to Rome” in Hogwarts, “all roads lead to the Great Hall” and you were counting on that to get most students in there, all for the sake of ending the prank with a cherry on top. But some students were already using their brooms and the windows to get out of the buildings and that would ruin the plan. 

“Your idea’ll have to wait,” you told Sirius as you stepped forward. Thankfully just the right person was in sight. “Alex!” You said. “Alex Wood!” 

The Hufflepuff head boy, who was riding his broom flew towards you, “Yeah?” 

“They said we should go to the Great Hall,” you said. “That’s where all the students are going.” 

It was luck, and perhaps your good student reputation, that made Alex nod almost instantly. “I’ll spread the word, thanks!” he added and took off, shouting to everyone on his way to walk towards the Great Hall.

You smiled as you saw him leave towards one side of the hall and you turned to the other, “We have to go to the Great Hall!” you shouted towards everyone and none in particular, “spread the word!” 

The three of you continued walking towards the new direction and kept telling people they had to go, and since people recognized Remus as a Prefect, it was much easier to get them to follow the direction. By the time you reached the Great Hall, there were already other prefects helping everyone walk inside in a much more ordered manner than when they had left their classrooms. Students were walking towards their seats at the table, and the older students were using Lily’s spell to keep the frogs away from the door as everyone tried to walk inside. 

You smiled, looking quite satisfied at the result of your little ruse, and also got in line, but this time Sirius pulled you out of the way. “Follow me, I know a better spot to enjoy the show,” he said with a smile. Remus probably already knew of said spot since he walked next to Sirius as if he too knew the way.

You followed the two of them down a set of stairs –spotting the kitchen entrance– and then a little further inside, where there was a rather large statue of a dragon who moved as if he were breathing. Sirius got up on the small pedestal where the dragon lay and Remus was behind him shortly after, yet again extending his hand for you to follow. You took his hand at once and he pulled you up with ease, not letting go of it even as you were fully there and giving you a reassuring squeeze as Sirius got even closer to the dragon. He crouched and walked inside the crevice left between the tail of the dragon and his head. 

This time around you followed right after him and Remus was close behind. The statue wasn’t really designed to be walked behind, or at least it hadn’t been placed to be walked around, and therefore the spot behind it was slightly darker and a bit colder than the rest of the castle, as if the heating spells didn’t quite reach that spot. 

Then Sirius walked towards a torch holder and pulled on it, a small passage opened underneath the spot where the dragon lay. You smiled and walked down the set of stairs alongside both boys. It was a small room, perhaps something like a broom closet, or a secret hideout for a treasure, but there was nothing inside other than a window that looked remarkably similar to the ones in the great hall but much smaller. 

Sirius approached the window and fumbled with the latch for a few seconds before he managed to flip it open. The bitter cold flew in alongside a few snowflakes and Sirius climbed outside. Remus followed, sitting by the seal, his feet propped to the outside. But just before he jumped he turned to look at you.

You were looking at him from your spot, seeming somewhat hesitant of stepping out. He was about to speak, but Sirius beat him to it, pushing his head under Remus’ arm and leaning it near his ribs with a teasing grin. “You’re not scared, are you, Starshine?” 

“Of course not!” you retorted. “ Just waiting for you boys to open up some space.” Sirius laughed while Remus jumped outside, you got on the seal seconds after. 

Sirius smirked as he turned to Remus, who was wiping some snow from the back of his pants and shaking his head in disapproval, although he was still smiling. Once the three of you were outside, with the bitter cold making your wet clothes all the more uncomfortable, you figured out exactly where you’d be enjoying the spectacle from. 

“You have to be kidding,” you said as you spotted the large windows of the great hall over a few feet of rock.  “Is that where you were on the first day of the year?” you asked as you pointed towards some of the windows.

Sirius nodded in return, “Pretty cool, yeah?” 

“You’re all deranged!” you retorted with an amused smile and walked through the snow and towards one of the windows. The end of the cliff wasn’t so stiff that it would be easy to fall, but if anyone did fall, then it would be nasty.

“Not more than you, Luv,” retorted Remus who was behind you in seconds. 

Sirius had a small, rather proud smirk on his lips as he watched the two of you speed towards the window. “Watch your step, it can be slippery,” he warned. 

“Who's the scared one now?” you asked as you turned to him with a teasing smirk, your hair flowing behind you while some bits of snow from the side of the rocks fell over it.

Once you reached the spot under the window you looked up. It was rather tall. At least a few feet above your head. Sure Sirius and Remus could reach the top by extending their hands, but your fingers barely reached the edge. Narutally, you started jumping to try and get your hands on the seal. Remus caught up with you a few seconds later. “Thought you were a fox, not a rabbit.” 

You huffed, narrowing his eyes at him and turning back to the rocks. There was snow covering them, and you didn’t have your gloves around. Didn’t matter though, you tried to get a hold of one of the rocky edges to climb your way up, but they were stupidly slippery and you ended up slipping towards Sirius who caught you with ease and looked down on your pouty face with a wide smile. 

“Are you done trying to do it by yourself?” he asked. You gave him a mouth twist in return. “Nous sommes une équipe, Starshine, don’t be afraid to ask for help.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and pushed you to stand straight again. 

You grumbled something intelligible as Sirius climbed his way up using a rather specific rock that they had charmed and that was slightly worn out as support, and once he was up he extended his hand while Remus linked both of his and extended them for you to use as a step on the way up. You hesitated, turning your gaze to the side before placing your foot between Rem’s hands, who pushed upwards and allowed you to reach Sirius’. 

Once your elbows were on the bitter-cold stone of the seal, you managed to push yourself up the rest of the way. Rem used the same rock Sirius had to climb  and in between you and Sirius pulled him the rest of the way up. Not that he needed the help, he would have done fine without it, but neither you nor Sirius would waste a chance to hold him close.

“Shouldn’t we use a disillusionment charm?” you asked as you leaned over the windows to see what was inside. “Shit it’s cold,” you added as you shivered. You’d taken your cloak off at the little room under the dragon but your pants and thick sweater were still pretty wet.

“Nah, they can’t see us,” Sirius said as Remus stood closer to you. He was the least wet of the three, coincidentally, his body heat was always warmer due to his furry little problem. “There are special charms on the windows so that the weather outside matches the one in the enchanted ceiling,” he waved through the window, “we’re virtually invisible.” 

“Neat,” you said as you leaned your head on the window again, most students were now taking their seats. Professor McGonagall was helping some of the students accommodate their tables. Spellman was making sure all the Ravenclaws were all right alongside Flitwick who had been a Ravenclaw when he was a student, and Seraphina was making the Hufflepuffs do the same while forcing them into a neat line and counting through them. 

“Where’s Dumbledore?” you asked with a frown. 

“He is overseeing some plans with the order,” Sirius said. “Moody visited the Potters when we were about to leave for Kingscross. He said there was some urgent ‘Order’ business they had to oversee.” 

“Order? Do you mean The Order of the Phoenix?” 

“The what?” 

“Ugh… never mind I’ll tell you about it later,” you said as you shrugged it off and pointed towards the Great Hall. Slughorn had walked towards the podium and seemed about ready to say something. “I think it’s about to happen,” you said. 

Remus looked at you with a frown, still wondering what that was about before he too turned to look at the window. Slughorn seemed to be calming the students down, by giving some sort of speech. And then a screech so loud, that even the three of you heard, broke through his words. 

“Oh, it is happening,” Sirius said, as he too stepped a little closer. Both boys were now practically glued to you and the window, which was at least helping the cold subdue, even if you still felt like the bottom of your clothes, where gravity had accumulated the water, was slowly freezing as well. Not to mention your back felt a little more cold than it should have. But then again, what was a little cold? You’d had much, much worse. 

The girl jumped backwards as she screamed and fell on the floor as a bunch of toads started appearing from under her table. You saw Lily’s mane look around and fixate her gaze on James, she was clearly expecting the classroom and the rest of the hallway mess to be the end of it.

You chuckled as the toads from her table avoided her and jumped in all sorts of directions and towards the rest of the people. The funniest part was, that the toads were also shunning the entrance because they had used the toad-repelling charm all over it, so the more swamp bombs that exploded, the more frogs without anywhere else to go appeared.

McGonagall pressed her wand to her throat before speaking, loud, clear and in that same tone she used in class that was equally unwinding and terrifying. “Prefects, have your houses form a neat line and walk towards the courtyard. I believe it’s the only spot in the entire school not infested by toads at the present moment.” 

You chuckled, and it wasn’t only after your laughter subdued that you noticed that were not only shivering because of the laughs, but also because of the cold. You sneezed.

“Bless you,” Said Remus almost automatically, and then pressed his hands to your face. “You’re freezing! Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“I said it was cold!” you argued with a shrug and then crossed your arms over yourself. 

“But you said it as a casual comment, not as ‘I’m freezing, let’s use a warming spell’ kind of way,” Sirius retorted.

You hummed in response. “Next time, I’ll make sure to sound extra dramatic when complaining about the cold,” you said sarcastically.

“Yeah, you better,” Sirius said as he jumped down from the little window bannister and nodded for you to do the same. 

It was slightly awkward as you got down, but Sirius was there as you landed and he gave you a thumbs up as you wiped some of the snow that had gotten stuck in front of your trousers. Remus was down shortly after and the three of you walked inside the little room. 

Sirius closed the window as soon as you were inside while Remus started with a simple warming spell. He leaned close to you, his wand slowly spreading heat on your back, causing the already-frozen bits of clothes to melt. 

“Wait, it’s too hot,” you said, taking your sweater off almost in a second. You had a simple turtle neck shirt underneath, and while it wasn’t freezing anymore, it was still pretty wet. 

“I mean you can continue taking your clothes off here, or we can go to that place I’ve been telling you about,” Sirius said with a smirk and both of you turned to him with a frown. 

“Where exactly do you want us to go?” Remus asked.

“You’ll see when I take you,” he retorted as he tilted his head. “I think by now most students will be in the courtyard, what do you say?” 

Remus swallowed, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” 

“All my ideas are great,” he retorted, “Right, Starshine?”

“Some have certainly been,” you retorted. “Besides at this point, anything that gets me off this stinkyness is good.” 

Sirius’ smile widened and he gave you a wink before climbing up the stairs and both you and Remus followed closely behind him. 

It had been a few minutes of you scurrying around the castle while trying to avoid being seen by any lost student, and the toads that were now all over the halls, jumping around freely. 

Remus, who finally recognized the way you were taking gasped, “Sirius are we going to the–”

“Yes, don’t spoil it.” 

Sirius had purposefully taken a tricky way there so neither of you realized where it was you were heading but Remus had figured it out anyway. You had a vague idea of where that might be but you weren’t sure, and you had never been there either, so even if it was where you thought it would be it was still a surprise. 

You looked over a corner you were about to cross and instantly pulled back, grabbing onto Sirius’ shirt to stop him from stepping any further. You placed your hand over your lips and nodded. He looked at you with a frown, and you pointed at the corner. 

Sr. Pendragon’s ghost was there, up in his horse and patrolling like the hallway was his own, even when his horse seemed to be much more entertained by the toads. He was comically jumping around while trying to avoid them (it didn’t seem to matter that being a ghost, he couldn’t touch them).

Sirius nodded as soon as he spotted him and took out his wand, but Moony beat the both of you by sending a spell towards one of the portraits on the other side of the hallway. The old man in the portrait started shouting silly complaints and screaming something about the toads attacking him. 

“To the rescue!” Said Sir. Pendragon as he pulled on his horse’s reins to force him to move. Said horse was not cooperating, and it was while he was distracted by them that you cast a disillusionment charm over the three of you and continued to follow Sirius through the halls. 

Skipping through the toads was much harder with the disillusionment charm because they wouldn’t immediately jump out of the way as they spotted you, but it wasn’t impossible. They seemed to have a sort of sixth sense to not be squashed, even if it took a little longer for it to kick off than sight. 

It was when you spotted the large frog in the corner of Ricchie’s “make-out room” that you figured out where Sirius was taking you as well. “How are you planning to get in?” You whispered as you pointed towards the door.

“Easy, we have our own Perfect, he knows the passwords,” Sirius said with a smirk. 

Remus tried not to roll his eyes as the three of you approached the doors, he cleared his throat before leaning into one of the corners of the door. “Whispering Woods,” he said, low so nobody beside you would hear, and the doors split open right in front of the three of you.

You didn’t waste time before walking inside, since you didn’t want to risk anyone noticing the three of you were sneaking into the “only prefects” bathroom, even with the disillusionment charm. You were still looking at the hall as you rushed to the door to shut right ahead of you. Some magic doors were faster if you gave them a little push, which was always a good trick when you were sneaking around. 

Once you made sure they were shut you sighed and turned around, only to gasp in shock. It’s not that you hadn’t heard about the Prefect’s Bathroom being grand and elegant, but you were expecting spacious shower stands and perhaps even a nice toilet, not a bathtub the size of a pool.

“I know, right?” Sirius said with a smile and started walking towards the tub, flicking his wand to dissolve the disillusionment charm and opening the faucet in the side. Colourful water started streaming out of the centre, filling the pool with bubbly water. A stained glass mermaid was combing her hair just behind the tub, and she had a sort of mischievous smile going on as she spotted Sirius. 

“I’m going to start thinking you have a water kink or something,” you joked as you followed him, your eyes getting lost on the mermaid before turning back to him. She didn’t look exactly like the mermaids at Lupin’s Cottage, which made you think she probably was from a different species. 

Her nose was slightly longer, and she was looking at the three of you in a sweet, and yet sort of like ‘I’d want to eat you’ glance. 

“Don’t worry about her, she can’t even talk,” Remus when he noticed your staring. 

“Yeah?” you asked with a frown. “Why?” 

“Mermaid portraits can be very temperamental, that’s why wizards rarely use the special brushes that make them talk,” Sirius explained as he threw a wink her way. You’d swear she blushed after that.

“Did you ever read ‘Siren’?” Remus asked, and you shook your head in response. “It’s about an artist that really wanted to paint a mermaid,” he explained. “And he did it, exceptionally well, so well that the portrait even had some of those enchanting abilities mermaids have. He talked to her every single day, she convinced him to put her in the bathroom since she would feel closer to home, and he would see her every single time he bathed.” 

“Yeah?” Sirius asked with a smile as he continued to play with the faucets. Now there was a small fish statue blowing soap bubbles all over the place. “Sounds awkward…” 

“It was,” Remus confirmed. “But she was clever and knew how to make him feel at ease. More time passed and they grew used to each other, until that wasn’t enough for her either, she ended up convincing him to drown in his tub so he could be with her.” 

“Damn,” you said as you looked back up at the mermaid. She was still giving you that same curious look. “I can definitely see it happening, though…” 

“A man falling for the portrait of a beautiful mermaid?” Sirius asked, clearly amused.

“A portrait being more powerful than they originally thought,” you said, not keeping your eyes away from the stained glass window. “Enchanted items can be as delightful as deceitful. There are plenty of stories of wizards who’ve gone mad over a portrait.” 

“I think the water is ready,” Sirius said as he dipped his hand in the marbled pool.

“Yeah?” You asked as you leaned closer to it, leaning over and also digging your hand in the water. 

“Mhm,” he nodded and then turned to Remus with a sort of mischievous look in his eyes. The way they shone told Remus enough about his plan for him to know what a terrific idea it was. “Pourquoi ne l’essaies-tu pas, Étoile?” 

You didn’t even have enough time to turn around and ask what he was going on about when he picked you up from the floor and threw you into the water, the splashing from your fall was enough to leave the two of them wet and filled with bubbles. 

By the time you resurfaced –not that it was very deep– both boys were shaking with laughter, their voices echoing through the bathroom in such a compelling way that you couldn’t even stay mad at them for it. That didn’t mean you wouldn’t retaliate. You looked at them both with a sort of saddened pout that had Remus lose his laughter as fast as he’d found it.

“I think I sprained my hand as I fell,” you said as you took your hand out of the water, “It’s swelling and all…” 

“What? That fast?” Remus said as he approached you. 

Sirius seemed concerned at first, at least until he saw the faintest shadow of a smirk as Remus approached the edge of the tub. You threw him a look, simple, almost too fast, but he instantly knew what he had to do. 

“Perhaps it’s because it’s the hand I sprained at the Leaky Cauldron…” you added and extended it towards him. He was now so close, half of his body was over the water. He had your hand in his, yours was limp and his were careful, feather-like touches to make sure he wouldn’t hurt you further. He moved it to one side and then to the other, carefully. 

“Does it hurt?” 

“Slightly,” you retorted. It wasn’t a lie, your hand was still kind of sore. Perhaps it had been a worse hit than you thought originally.

Remus shrugged, “It doesn’t look all that swollen to me, Little Witch, but it could get worse. Perhaps we should call it and go to Pomfrey instead–” 

“You don’t see it?” You asked nonchalantly and threw a look at Sirius. Remus was about to respond, “Maybe if you look closer,” you added before pulling your other hand out of the water and gripping onto his arms as firmly as you could, pulling him towards you. 

Alone, you wouldn’t have done shit to move him unless he had been genuinely distracted, but with Sirius’ help, who threw him off balance with a light kick on the back of his knee and a push, it was as easy as it had been for Sirius to lift you up and throw you into the pool. When Remus resurfaced from the water he was so shocked that he’d been manhandled that he ended up being more confused than anything. 

“How the– you didn’t even hurt your hand, did you?” 

“It’s still sore, but no,” you said with a shrug and a smile. You then stepped a little closer, you’d never seen Remus’ hair wet, at least not fully wet, only fluffed out of the shower, it was way longer than you assumed, it reached almost all the way to his nose. You swam closer to him in an instant and pushed it off his face. It’s something perhaps you would have done even back when you were just friends –you had always been that close to him– but it was because you weren’t just friends anymore that he felt his heart hammer on his chest as you approached. He could kiss you if he wanted to, would you want it to? 

And then you gave him a look. He knew that look so well. You placed both hands on his neck after you stopped playing with his hair and then you raised your eyebrows. He gave you the basic “Are you sure?” Remus Lupin look. You just raised your eyebrows again in return. 

“Hey, Pups,” you said casually, “do you mind passing me my wand? I think I dropped it when you threw me into the water…” That last bit was slightly accusatory, to add up to that guilt and have him lose some of the weariness. 

Sirius picked your wand from the floor and squinted his eyes at you as if deciding just how close he could get without getting pulled into the water by his favourite little fae, although you looked more like a tempting siren than a sprite in that particular moment. 

“What?” You asked with a simple smile. 

“You’re not going to pull me into the water, are you?” 

“Of course not, I just need my wand,” you said with a smile, gently squeezing Remus’ wrist from under the water. 

“What for?” 

“Girl stuff,” you retorted. 

“You can’t just say girl stuff whenever you want to avoid my questions.” 

“But what if it really is girl stuff?” Remus intervened as he eyed Sirius. 

“I won’t throw you into the water, swear,” you added, hands held up in surrender. “Just hand me my wand, you can stay out and watch while Remus and I make out or whatever.” 

“What?!” Sirius asked confused, amused, and a little too keen on the idea, which was ridiculous. But damn, didn’t the both of you look stunning when you were kissing each other? 

“What?” you said as you approached. “Come on, hand it over,” you said as you opened your mouth for him to place your wand in between your lips. Sirius was hesitant as he approached you, but eventually, he was close enough. And when he did, Remus, who had been casually leaning his back on the side stood up and pulled him into the water as you moved out of the way.

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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Read more Marauders Fiction

[fatuismooches]

I AM HAVING SO MUCH BRAIN ROT AUUUUGHHH

Just imagine with me for a moment... Insinuating that they have a crush on reader or like... that they want to kiss

Like the "Oh my god... You have a crush on me, that's so embarrassing of you!!" Or the whole "You wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid."

And both times it's funny because you're already together.

Reader says to Dottore he has a crush on them. Every single segment just turns to face them and their faces get red simultaneously. Over a dozen blushing Dottores just hiding it in various different ways as they go back to what they were doing but one thing is the same. All of their ears are bright red.

Or with Pantalone. "You have a crush on me, that's embarrassing." And be just... smiles. Tilts his head to the side. "I can assure you, I'm not embarrassed. Must I buy you another gift to prove that?" And Reader immediately has to explain, no, it was a joke, please stop spending ao much money on me. And yet, the next day they open their door to an entire basket full of their favorite things.

CAPITANO OML. Even insinuate he has a crush and he's even more silent than usual. He is a little embarrassed about it. Later, comes to Reader all worried that he was being too affectionate and it was too obvious when literally all he did was place a hand on their waist when he had to pass by.

AJSJKDJDNRN I LOVE THEM

🦚

THIS IS CANON. READER TEASES THEIR HUSBANDS NONSTOP.

The teasing isn't really anything new for Dottore and the segments, they've dealt with it for so long, dating back all the way to the Akademiya! You'd think they'd be immune to it by now, and well, they probably are for the most part, but you are the person who they can never always accurately predict for a reason. They love you for that but... it can be not in their favor sometimes. This would arise when Dottore tells you something along the lines of taking care of yourself better... something very much only ever afforded to you. This is TOTAL crush behavior, and you would instantly get giddy and inform him of his oh-so-embarrassing crush. The lab has never been so silent... save for your cackling, as the younger, more defensive segments deny it (for some odd reason) as the older ones stay silent ignoring the rising heat in their systems, while the original stands there, bracing for the oncoming headache.

And then Pantalone is just one irritatingly smooth man. You hate it and love it at the same time. Every single time you try to tease him he just brushes it off and returns it ten times harder. It stems from the fact Pantalone is very much aware of his love for you and proud of it - how could he not fall for a person as wonderful as you? Why would he ever be embarrassed? He accepts it wholly and he's more than willing to flaunt it. So declaring his crush on you just makes him double down more. In fact, he's very glad you're conscious of his crush on you. It makes it easier to justify the amount of money he spends on you without a second thought. Meanwhile, you're slightly regretting giving him another excuse to dish out more Mora but in the end, you just can't be mad at this man.

Oh, poor, poor Capitano... this little guy can't understand the joke at first. Are you making fun of him? Should he... not have a crush on you? Was that a bad thing? But you were laughing... he's happy to see you smile but at the same time, he is confused. He spends the whole day thinking about the encounter and what you could have meant by that. When he comes home all serious, you're initially worried for the worst but then he's concerned over him showing you affection. You vehemently apologize to him because you felt bad. After that, you always make sure to let him know how much you love him and how affectionate he is for you! You also always let him know it's okay to tease you back but... um, he is terrible at that.

[cat3ch1sm]

🪴~ hi, everyone! i hope you’ve all had a lovely day or night. today i give you some black butler headcanons because i haven’t written for it in a little while. enjoy, ily <33

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ fem!reader, street harassment, catcalling, language

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝- 𝐟𝐭. 𝐬𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧, 𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐢, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐚, 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥

a/n~ i am in no way romanticizing sexual harassment. most of the things i write here in these types of headcanons have happened/been said to me, so i just wanted to make that clear :) thank you <33 also, sorry these are so short, i am tired but i needed to post 😭

sebastian

you two are simply walking down the street, minding your own business as usual- maybe returning from an errand or something. because you’re outside and the weather isnt looking good, you propose that you take a shortcut through a different area. it’s a rougher part of town, but neither of you are fond of the idea of getting caught in the rain, so you take the risk.

you’re probably discussing something fairly mundane when a group of two or three guys spots you from the side of the road. they look dirty and are not at all easy on the eyes. you hear jeering and whistling from the side of the road, along with a few unsolicited comments about how sexy you apparently are. you give them a dirty look but are mostly inclined to ignore them, but Sebastian has other plans.

the butler first moves you to the opposite side of him protectively before marching straight up to the men jeering at you. they stop initially, a little confused, but when they decide Sebastian isn’t too much of a threat, they resume their antics.

“hey, what’re ya doing? you’re blocking our view, bastard.”

“what, are you her boyfriend of something? are ya mad? gonna tell us to stop? not our fault your girl’s a fine piece of ass.”

sebastian literally just stands there and waits for them to finish cackling like middle school boys. then, once they stop, a bit confused as to why Sebastian is still standing there, the butler promptly decks all three of them, knocking them all to the rough ground with three very painful-sounding thuds.

“it’s terribly impolite to verbally assault an innocent woman on the street like that, you know. i would appreciate it greatly if you’d mind your manners next time, yes?”

Sebastian simply leaves the men on the ground to moan and groan at their injuries before rejoining you, who is rendered speechless, in the road.

“this wasn’t a very good shortcut, now was it, my dear? i recommend you make your decisions more wisely next time, rain or not.”

agni

you two are probably just hanging out, on a date or something. you’re walking in the middle of the city, where there are lots of people shopping, selling, just walking, other various things. because of the crowd, you and agni get off the main street and walk behind all the shops and buildings instead for a little more privacy.

while walking behind the buildings, you accidentally stumble and drop your bag. agni politely asks if he can get that for you, but you smile and insist on getting it yourself. you bent over to get your bag and stood back up, which should have been the end of it, but unfortunately you happen to catch the eye of two guys loitering beside one of the buildings you two are in front of.

“i liked it better when you were bent over, sweetheart!”

abruptly, you whirl to face the source of the voice, shocked, your eyes wide. clenching your teeth, you clutch your bag closer and shake your head, starting to walk away in an attempt not to escalate the situation, but agni grabs your hand just before you’re out of his reach. he doesn’t want to bring you any closer to the two men, but agni wants to keep you by his side, so he grasps you around the waist and walks over to them. when he approaches them, his expression is dark, and you can tell how he’s straining to maintain his non-violent ways.

honestly, agni doesn’t really have to say anything to let the guys know that he means business. his threatening aura is overpowering- the cowards are already running for the hills.

“it is a shame that it is so acceptable for these men to treat you like that in England. however- it is clear that they are mere cowards, given that they ran as soon as i approached them. are you doing alright?”

“as long as you are with me, you will never be in harm’s way.”

soma

“hey, baby, your boyfriend don’t look like much- why don’t you come on home with me and i’ll show you a real good time.”

the remark catches you completely off guard. you and soma were on your way back from a cute first date at a quaint coffee shop, which poor soma, trying desperately not to mess up, had planned way too far ahead for just an hour-long date. luckily for him, it had gone well, and you and soma were hitting it off on the walk back to the manor. however, the cheerful little bubble you two were in after officially becoming a couple poles rather abruptly after hearing that comment.

you opted to ignore the offender, and soma simply shot him a dirty look before continuing on your way, protectively wrapping an arm around your shoulder and bringing you closer to him. but the man doesn’t leave you alone.

“hey, babe, why don’t you wanna talk to me? i promise i can be better than that guy you’re with.”

you outright groaned this time, sick of the man hounding you, and soma instantly sensed your annoyance. although he definitely wasn’t fond of the idea of confronting the burly man- who indeed was bigger than soma- he didn’t want to look like a chicken in front of you, and he genuinely didn’t like seeing you upset and vulnerable. so, soma promptly storms up to the man and tries his best to chew him out without wavering.

“hey! you know that it is very rude to catcall a woman like that! you do not even care that she is with a gentleman? you, sir, are a very crass and immature man!”

it really looks better typed out… in reality, soma’s voice is shaky and cracks a lot, and he’s visibly very nervous. like i mentioned, this guy who catcalled you is certainly intimidating. luckily, he isn’t amused by soma and simply waves him off and goes on his way.

grell

“why didn’t he say that to me? what’s wrong with my ass?”

carefully explain to grell that catcalling is not a compliment because she will not know that. even after you explain, she still might take offense☠️☠️

[hoeforalbedo]

ᗪEᗩᒪ ᗯITᕼ TᕼE ᗪEᐯIᒪ ✟

Chapter 2

———————— ♱ ————————

WARNING: PLEASE READ

Sensitive topics including vague details of SA. Reader will display many mental health such as depression, PTSD, and anxiety. I will also discuss after effects of said trauma such as hyper sexuality, over-sexualizing oneself, over trusting, and many more. (Many cope in different ways however I am more familiar with this side of the spectrum as I have taken this information from my experience.) Suicidal topics. Horror. Manipulation. Blasphemy. Religious horror and possibly hints of religious trauma. Demons. Paganism. Witchcraft (I try to depict witchcraft as accurate as I can however if I make it too accurate, it will seem boring so I did add magical abilities. I write it based off of how I practice it). Possession. Death. Murder. Exorcism. Sex. Ritualistic sex. Female reader. A bit of crack (reader doesn’t take things seriously. Humor is the way of coping 😭)

If any of these themes trigger you, please do not read. You have already been warned.

Writing criticism is appreciated since I want to get better in writing.

Note: This story is heavily inspired by Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, and honestly I was going to write a story like that but I wanted something original. I did leave in some ideas I really liked so to anyone who watched it, you guys may know a little bit of the direction I’m going with for a specific character. Also yay, I did manage to post it but Chapter 3 may take a bit.

Summary: Everything is happening too fast and it just keeps getting worse. Hey, at least you got to see a friend!

———————— ♱ ————————

Hongjoong’s body is tangled with yours with only a thin blanket covering you both. He feels so good as he thrusts slowly and passionately into your sopping wet hole.

“Hongjoong,” Whines fell from your lips like a prayer. You dig your nails into his back and bury your face into the crook of his neck.

“Feel so good, squeezing me so right, doll,” He groans in your ear, his tip pressing against your cervix snugly.

“Joong, please,” You gasp as his pace quickens, driving you closer and closer to the taste of your sweet orgasm.

“That’s right. Say my name, doll. Scream it. Worship me,”He starts grunting out nonsense, although it sounded right under the drunken haze of pleasure. His thrust only became rougher, drawing strings of profanity from you. “So sinful,” He chuckles. “Tell God how much you love this demon’s cock,” He cackles, tearing you away from pleasure. When you look at him, his eyes are rolled back to his head and some black substance oozes out of his mouth.

You let out a horrid scream and reached for anything on your night stand. “Get off of me!” You cry, grabbing some object and hitting Hongjoong on the head with it. He then collapses over you and you shakily toss away the object you killed him with, a crucifix.

He lifts his head up, “You can’t run from the mark of lust.”

You sat up immediately, ending whatever nightmare that was. It felt so real, and you swear it felt so good before the whole demonic stuff happened.

That night you prayed. To be honest, during times like these, you suddenly become a devout Christian, or was it Catholic? Does it matter? They both worship God.

“Have you ever seen Doctor Who?” You walk around the courtyard of the church as you ask the priest some questions. The courtyard doesn’t seem to be well taken care of, the shrubs over growing and eroding statues. The grass could also use some cutting.

“No, can’t say that I have,” He shakes his head.

“Well there’s these weeping angels. They’re pretty much statues and when you blink or when the lights go out, they move. I would have nightmares from them.” You remembered you were at the dorms during your college days and your roommate had introduced you to the show. After watching the weeping angels in particular did she start regretting it, as you woke up in cold sweats. You had dreams of the angels chasing you.

“Well the church has plenty of those,” Hongjoong laughs as you shudder at the thought. The leaves crunched under your shoes, as the weather had gotten colder and it seems the world is dying around you.

“Do they ever move?” You ask jokingly as you link arms with him.

He shrugs, “Yeah.”

You look up at him, scoffing, “Oh really?”

He smirks as he nods. “Yeah. There’s one behind you?”

You turn your head to look behind and there was nothing. “Liar,” You huff and Hongjoong came to a sudden stop. Confused, you turned your head back to face the front to question why he stopped.

“No I’m not,” He says as you come face to face with the stone cold statue that looks at you with empty eyes.

“You are so mean!” You raise your voice but you weren’t offended by the harmless joke.

“Michael just wanted to say hi.”

“Well I’m saying goodbye,” You roll your eyes as you walk ahead of him.

He laughs as he watches you slowly walk off, eyes glazing over your figure and the way you kick some rocks while muttering under your breath. His gaze wanders back up and stops at your waist, or at least the middle of your spine much closer to your tailbone. “Hey, you’re bleeding.”

You wave him off, “Not falling for it.”

“No, I'm serious. You’re bleeding.”

“I would feel if I were bleeding,” You turn to him, brows furrowed.

“I could take a picture to show you,” He offers.

You sigh and hand him your phone. He leans down and pulls your shirt up by an inch. “Oh shit!” He gasps, making you panic.

“What. What. What happened?” You ask, trying to look at your back for yourself.

“Let me just,” He snaps the picture then turns the phone screen to you.

“Oh fuck,” You whisper as you zoomed into the picture. It’s slightly still bloody, however you can easily make out swollen red marks that form into an unknown symbol. It’s almost as if you’ve been branded. “Hongjoong, this seems demonic. I’m too hot to be possessed. . .” You whimper, eyes brimming with tears. “My gorgeous face would be ruined by a demon!” Wails come from you as you can already imagine that one girl from The Exorcist. In all horror movies, the host always becomes ugly after possession. “Like I wanted to die but not like this! Even if I’m on my deathbed, I have to remain gorgeous!”

“Y/N, I fear you have questionable priorities, however I can recommend some things since we’re not sure if you’re truly possessed,” Hongjoong says, rather too calmly.

“How do you know?” She grabs onto his shirt and shakes him. “How are you so sure?” She looks deep into his eyes.

Hongjoong rolls his eyes and pulls out a rosary. “What do you feel when you look at this?”

“Trauma. Those times when my parents would force me to recite the rosary ten times,” You shudder. “Wait- does that mean I’m possessed?” You gasp dramatically.”

“Do you feel violent? Like you’re going to hurt me. Or perhaps do you feel physical pain?” He asks.

You scoff, “What? No! Of course not.”

“Then you’re not possessed,” He flicks your forehead earning a grunt from you as you rub the spot.

“But how do you know?” She insists.

“Because as a former exorcist, I know that most demons would immediately react to anything holy, and the fact you’re standing in front of the church shows that you’re not possessed. There is a rare case where a demon doesn’t react at all, meaning the demon is very strong, but there are still some symptoms unless the demon fully takes control of the body,” He explains.

“Oh, okay,” You sigh in relief. “I’m good.”

“But it could also mean that you’re a target of a demon.”

“We’ll get rid of it! How do I get rid of it!” You cry.

Hongjoong couldn’t help but laugh at how dramatic you are. “Sleep with a crucifix in your room, pray at night, and go to confession and apologize for the lack of faith,” He instructs.

“Is that 100% foolproof?” You ask.

“No.”

“Damn,” You huff.

Suddenly, a loud high pitched scream causes you both to freeze and look at each other in panic. Collectively, you both decide to run to where the screams came from. Once Hongjoong pushes the heavy wooden doors open, he looks around and sees that the deacon has already arrived at the scene.

“Seonghwa, what happened?” Hongjoong asks as his gaze falls on the nun, Sister Anna, who’s crying next to the man. Before them is another nun who remains unmoving.

“I’m afraid the killer has gotten into the parish, Father,” Seonghwa says calmly.

Hongjoong walks up to them with you following close behind. The closer you got the more you were able to make out the scene. “Oh my God,” you gasp, earning a look from Seonghwa for using God’s name in vain.

The nun on the pew sits stiff, her hands tied together with a rosary. She looks at the huge cross above the altar however her eyes are deep pits of emptiness. She’ll never see God. The killer scooped out her eyes. Was she praying while getting killed? How did she get killed in the first place? Not a single gunshot or stab wound. Her body is just there, praying.

“I’ll prepare the funeral right away,” Seonghwa says with a lack of emotion, taking the body as if it was nothing.

“Shouldn’t we leave the body so that the police can investigate?” You ask.

“And ruin the peace of the church? Giving a proper funeral for Sister Mary is what she would have wanted,” Seonghwa says sternly, to which you don’t understand. Someone died. Why is he being so calm about this?

“Look, Y/N,” Hongjoong turns to you. “I think you should go home. I don’t think you should see any more of this.”

“But-“ You start but the look in his eyes, the look that says, ‘question and you’ll see the consequences,’ forces you to shut up and turn away from. “Yeah, I’ll see you,” You force out before walking down the long isle till you get to the huge set of wooden doors.

You have decided to cut through the woods, realizing that it’s a very quick shortcut to your house. As always, you pass by the huge oak tree. Maybe this is the reason the town is called Oakheart.

“You bear the mark of lust,” A woman sneers.

Your head spins to the voice. It’s the woman from before. This time, she wears a black thin veil over her head.

“That. How did you-“ You are flabbergasted. You recalled your dream. You can’t run from the mark of lust. “Who are you?”

At the corner of her lips curve into a smirk. She transforms in a blink of an eye. The once wrinkled skin becomes tight and youthful, although there’s still age. She looks very mature. Her eyes are sharp and her blue eyes are piercing cold. Her once pruned lips are pulled tight, the color dark red like wine, or even blood.

“What the fuck!” You scream as you back away. “The woman. The old lady. The grandma! How? What,” You stutter, trying to make sense of everything. You’re not high or drunk so this must be real, right? You pinch your skin to make sure.

You could care less for an explanation at this point as you run off. First you witnessed a murder. Now you’re seeing things. It’s best if you just go home.

“You can’t run, child! You’re a beacon! They’ll find you!” The woman calls from behind you.

You keep running and running until you make it to your street. You’re never going through the forest ever again. You don’t even look back, nor look at where you are going so it’s no surprise when you collide with someone.

“Are you okay?” The man asks, though the kindness is unexpected. In New York, you know you’d get many nasty remarks.

“I’m so sorry- Wooyoung!?” You gasp, recognizing the face of an old friend.

“Y/N? I haven’t seen you in so long!” Wooyoung’s face lights up, erasing all the negative feelings you harbored. Finally someone familiar.

He’s what you can describe as the typical shy church boy, always hiding behind his glasses. He has a soft spoken voice to him, which to be honest does not match his face nor his smile that naturally looks mischievous. He looks like he’s scheming when it’s the complete opposite. He’s a sweet guy.

“Just visiting. Rough times,” You chuckle awkwardly.

“I’m somewhat saddened that you never even visited me,” He frowns.

“I’m sorry Woo, it’s just so many things going on. I see you still got your typical outfit going on here,” You lightly tease, hoping to change the topic and lighten up the mood. “It’s really about time you get rid of those flannels.”

He always wears his typical flannel shirt, buttoned all the way to the top and khaki pants. He dresses like a dad. And of course he always sports his black thick-rimmed glasses. You always say he has the face of a model but he never cares, always telling you , “It matters not the clothing or richness you have. God judges all equally.”

“So how’s it been? Are you working or anything?” You ask curiously.

“I’ve actually taken a job as a history teacher in Oakheart High School,” He chuckles.

“Oh really? Any interesting history?” You ask, knowing that history class back in your high school days was a bore.

“You’d be surprised. You can call me this town's historian, well unofficially anyways,” He shrugs with a chuckle. “How about you?”

“Neurosurgeon. So where are you off to?” You ask.

“Home. You should, too. Y’know it’s very dangerous for us to be out and about with the murders.”

“Yeah, I just witnessed a murder in the church,” You shrug nonchalantly, earning a gasp from him and he quickly covers your mouth.

“Don’t say that out loud. It will cause panic to everyone. Whatever you saw, keep it to yourself. I’ll pretend like I never heard what you said,” He warns you, urgency clear in his eyes, darting about to make sure no one heard. “Now I’ll be going home. You have a nice day okay,” He smiles, taking his hand off your face and walks back.

“Bye Woo.”

This town doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense.

—————————————————————

“They found the murderer! Come on! We have to go!” Your father screams, waking up the whole house. He rushes you and your mom out the door as quickly as possible.

“Where are we going?” You ask.

“Church,” Your father says, adding nothing more. You all got in the car and drove 10 minutes. You know cutting through the forest is faster.

When you all arrive, the parking lot is filled, having to park on the side of the road instead. It seems the whole town is there.

“What’s going on?” You ask once more, getting more confused by the second when you see people heading into the woods.

“Just don’t ask and follow us,” Your father responds gruffly.

You said you’ll never go back to the woods but here you are amongst a whole group of people. “Woo!” You whisper, weaving your way to stand next to him. “What’s going on?”

“The murderer, they found the murderer and she was found to be a witch,” Wooyoung shortly explains, eyes focused ahead as he clutches the rosary beads in his hand. “God is gracious,” He kisses the beads.

“Oakheart used to be a coven of witches, that is until the Evangelist came and forced us to turn to their God. Others who refused were burned here,” You remember the words of the old woman. Here you are, standing before the large oak tree once more, anticipating the events that would unfold, and it doesn’t seem good.

Hush murmurs drowned the silence of the woods. It seems everyone knows what’s happening but you. You don’t know what to expect.

“Brothers and sisters,” The familiar voice of Hongjoong quickly hushes the crowd. The deacon, Seonghwa, stood next to him. “It is thanks to our devoted loyalty and prayers to God that we have found the demon causing havoc to our town. A witch.”

“I didn’t do it! I didn’t do it!” Screams echo through the quiet forest as the nuns drag a woman to Hongjoong.

Your hand shakily covers your mouth, recognizing the old woman. There’s no way. A fragile woman like her? But the way she transformed before your eyes. Maybe she did do it. She seems to be staring at you now. You know I didn’t do it.

You don’t get it. If she’s the murderer, why is she here instead of in jail? What are the police doing? What is Hongjoong doing?

“Now we won’t be burning any witches but we know what to do with them,” Hongjoong smiles. He then turns to the nuns who dragged the woman to a platform and only did you notice that there’s a rope tied to a strong branch on the tree.

“There’s no way,” You whisper.

“It’s what happens to witches,” Wooyoung assures you. “History says so.”

Hongjoong puts the noose around the woman’s neck then steps back. “Brothers and sisters, we should not place mistrust in each other, but this is an example of what happens to the worshippers of the devil. With a nod, Seonghwa drops the platform, causing the woman to drop with it, the noose causing her to lose circulation and ultimately killing her. Hongjoong is turned away from you but from where you are, you can make out a smirk.

“What the fuck,” You manage to get out as you back away from the crowd. Everything happened so quickly. One moment she was screaming, the next second she’s limp. You want to puke. You might puke.

“Where are you going?” Wooyoung asks.

“Out!” You scream, causing a commotion. You run away from the group of people, Wooyoung calling out your name and your parents running after you.

You weren’t going to wait for a bus. You immediately call for an Uber as you pack your bags.

“Where are you going? You can’t just leave,” You’re mother yells.

“Well I can and I will. I am an adult!” You look out the window to see your Uber waiting for you. You push past your mother. You don’t even make eye contact with your dad.

Hongjoong killed someone. In fact, he was smiling. You can’t be mistaken.

“I’m not coming back. Not even if you force me,” You put your bag over the shoulder. You walk out the house, not even glancing back as you enter the car.

“No you are not leaving!” Your mom cries, forcing the car door open.

“Let go!” You yell, pushing her, causing her to stumble.

“Theresa!” Your dad calls you by your catholic name, as if a strong boisterous voice would scare you. You close the door and tell the driver to just go. You weren’t going to come back. There’s a reason you go by your middle name rather than your first. Maybe you should have changed your name to Lucy out of spite. They always believe Lucy is just a shortened version of Lucifer. Or maybe Lilith? That would rile them up. It doesn’t matter anymore. And fuck Hongjoong.

—————————————————————

Jung Wooyoung drives home in the dark rainy night, singing to whatever song is on the radio. Suddenly, he sees a person on the road in front of his car which forced him to swerve so suddenly. He looks back in shock then undoes his seatbelt before getting out of the car to check on the person he saw.

“Hello?” He calls out into the dark road, as nobody had invested in more lights. No answer and so he keeps on walking to the direction of where he saw the person.

“Help me! Please!” A man begs from behind him. He turns slowly to look at him.

“Oh my god,” He whispers to himself, looking at the dirty disheveled guy. So he finds himself driving the young man in the back of his car to his house. “Oh poor thing,” He shakes his head. “My house is just at the end of this road. We’ll get you all cleaned up. Tomorrow I’ll call a doctor to get you all checked.”

Wooyoung is quick to give the man the best hospitality he can offer. “I brewed you some tea. I would have gotten coffee if it wasn’t night already,” Wooyoung smiles at the young man who had finally gotten all cleaned up. The man slowly approaches him. “I also found some cookies. What’s your name? Can you tell me what happened to you?” He asks. He’s far too kind, inviting a stranger into his home, offering them refreshments without knowing anything about them. “Did someone attack you?”

The man shakes his head and sits in front of him. “No. The woods did.”

Wooyoung bites his lip for a second before his lips form a smile, sitting down as well. “Wow, well you’re not from around here, aren't you?” He chuckles. “You know, everyone knows about the witch hunt in Salem, but many people don’t know that there was one, right here in Oakheart. 1692. Well maybe the lucky few who escaped. It’s no surprise the spirits of the woods are mad. There was a hanging today.” He starts talking about the eerie history of the town. “Back then, thirteen witches were hanged in the forest,” He tells the man, explaining why he believed him so easily, being one to be a huge believer of superstitions. The superstitions are the reason he becomes even more a devout Christian, not wanting to awaken any angry spirits.

“How do you know so much,” The man asks, “about witches?”

Wooyoung smiles, “Well, I may be the unofficial historian of Oakheart. Plus, I teach at the high school. Oakheart High School. The town is actually named Oakheart because the tree the witches were hanged was an oak-”

“Do you know Y/N?”

“Yes actually! She’s my friend,” He says, taken aback. “Do you know her?”

“Not yet,” The man answered in a distorted voice which made Wooyoung stand up in fear. “But hell will be much livelier with her.” The man raises his arm up, sending a silver sheer to stab Wooyoung’s neck. He looks at the stranger in shock before collapsing to the floor.

The man approaches his body, touching his fresh warm blood while chanting in latin. The stranger transforms into the image of the man, smirking to himself. “Asmodeus, you owe me. I’m not one to play matchmaker.”

[catoperated]

At some point we’re gonna have to talk about how toxic websites like 4chan and Something Awful (rest in piss, Lowtax) influenced trans spaces online.

I only ever used SA back in the day, and it’s now mostly forgotten that “troon” came from a portmanteau of “trans goon” (goon being a member of something awful, not like a gooner… but, eh, it’s still apt), though it was always meant to be belittling.

And then there I was, a transmasc egg surrounded by transfemmes. I didn’t know how to express that I wanted what they had but different, cause I seriously didn’t know trans men existed back then. All I saw were transfemmes, and most of them were transmedicalists. I got called a transphobe when I said wearing a skirt shouldn’t be a required part of transitioning. I have since met many cool trans ladies who aren’t truscum, but the scars remain.

At the time I couldn’t fully articulate how uncomfortable I was with the idea of transitioning to the same old binary, because I also didn’t know GNC was a thing. So for a time I was suicidal because I had no idea of the options open to me. I’m not sure that reading Theory back then would have helped. Having read Theory now (both feminist and communist), I’ve come to the conclusion people lean on it way too much, take it way too literally, never considering that the things proposed have to be adapted to changing times and circumstances. It’s almost like evangelicals interpreting the Bible literally—to everyone’s detriment.

My point being, you can read anything, watch any YouTuber, but for fuck’s sake form your own opinions instead of just throwing books and videos at people like it’ll explain everything and also must be followed to the letter. It won’t, and it shouldn’t.

Yeah, I was also briefly suicidal over leftists dogpiling disability activists for daring to get groceries delivered or using plastic straws. Only other disabled people probably remember this, but it was perpetuated by that butter cat account, which was the most surreal fucking thing to watch unfold.

I’m just tired. Tired of self-proclaimed feminists failing to recognize the patriarchy is what makes us all suffer, including cis men, and that’s the real enemy. I know radfems are largely to blame for pushing the “all men bad” narrative again with the express purpose of dividing trans people, I’ve seen them cackling about what they get away with on accounts where they pretend to be trans. It’s sad people are making their work so easy for them.

I don’t hate or resent transwomen (I can’t remember if the space is preferred or not, but I’m sitting here sweating over it, afraid someone will call out my language when “troon” is already up there), but here I am right back at that awful feeling I had when trying to say skirts should not equal femininity. Fuck, I would probably be suicidal again if not for my partner, who is the best thing to ever happen in my life (love you, babe).

I don’t know how to word this better or more succinctly. My mind wanders a lot when writing. But it’s not just me, right? I see the schism forming and it’s bad for all of us, because the people who want us dead do not care how we present ourselves or how well we pass. We desperately need to support and uplift each other if we’re going to survive all the shit they keep throwing at us all in governments across the entire goddamn world.

So yeah, we need to look at how those websites poisoned the well, as it’s where that mentality of “if you’re not queer/trans in the proper way I deserve to call you a slur” mentality comes from. The pickme urge to go “I’m not like those cringe fags/trannies, I’m one of the cool ones,” too. To reiterate, the people who want us dead for existing do not care one way or the other.

Fuck, why am I worrying about how I word this? If people are gonna interpret this in bad faith there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I just wanted to get this off my zipper-tits—which I’m stealing from you fuckers who use it against transmascs. I got my dirty testosterone fingers all over it and it’s ruined now, sorry.

[streussal]

i 100% agree with u about the fight, my question is why do you think they even included that scene? i don't feel like it tells us anything we don't already know & it gives ppl who dont remember the original scene opportunity to believe louis was the aggressor.. don't know how to feel about it to be frank

I got this ask after I made this post. Responding almost 4 days later so I don't know if the anon will see this, but I have some thoughts.

First of all, no matter how strongly a piece of media demonstrates who is the bad guy in a situation, there's always going to be people who side with the abuser, ESPECIALLY if the abuser is a white male and the victim is anyone other than a white male. Louis straight up said in the scene (LESTAT'S VERSION) "like you wrapped your hands around our daughter's neck" so it's pretty clear he's responding to Lestat attacking Claudia. On stage, Lestat goes off script and insists that it was wrong of him to drop Louis from the sky, and that afterwards Louis was "a broken thing. I know, I saw, because I am the one that broke him". He then follows this with the admission that he did it because Louis hurt his feelings, not because of any threats or violence from Louis: “I couldn’t persuade him to return my affections. I could force him to love me. And so, I broke him.” If people don't get that Lestat was in the wrong here, I don't think there's anything else the writers can do.

As for why I think the show gave us that scene:

Playing around with different points of view is neat, and showing different recollections of the same event is a recurring thing in this show. (I'm torn on whether this is Lestat's actual recollection or just something the coven added to make Louis look bad - see my interpretation that Lestat is being coerced into participating in the trial - but either way it plays into one of the themes of the series.) Yes showing the POV of an abuser could backfire if it falls into victim blaming but I think the show handled it very well (and there is a portion of the audience that is always going to see Lestat as the victim even when he straight up says he was the bad guy in a situation).

It shows Louis physically protecting Claudia AND prioritizing her over Lestat. One of the major criticisms of Louis is his failure to do either of these things, so I actually think it made a lot of people like him better. Most of the twitter reactions I saw, from people who accepted the scene as 100% fact, was people talking about how great it was that Louis was ready to kill the guy who hurt his daughter.

It allows Jacob Anderson to do something different! One of the reasons I'm suspicious of this version of events with Louis cackling is that I have not seen Louis act quite like that before. But Jacob definitely sold it! Makes me wonder if maybe this is yet another side of Louis! I don't know! It adds rewatch value.

The acknowledgement that Lestat dropping Louis from the sky really did do long term damage to Louis. Not just physically. He became "a broken thing" - there was serious psychological damage. After he got back together with Lestat, we never really saw him push back against Lestat again. A lot of his time in Paris is a reaction against being in an abusive relationship. (And then he gets in another one, which happens a lot in real life.)

But I think it's also significant that right after this scene, we saw Lestat's remorse. And a much more real apology than anything we saw in s1. Now obviously this does not fix anything. (Claudia highlights this - "Can I cry and say sorry too?" - She and Louis tried to kill Lestat and are on trial, Lestat nearly kills Louis and just gives an apology.) But it gives the possibility that perhaps Lestat has changed or realized that he needs to change. And given that the showrunner has repeatedly referred to Loustat as the central love story of the series (link)... we need to see that Lestat is not going to do the same thing again. We want him to be better for Louis. Not that it would ever be an entirely healthy relationship (they are vampires), but not "drop him the sky requiring months of recovery" level awful. (@awildwickedslip wrote an interesting post relating to this here)

[litfeathers]

Before Hunter's Palisman Observations... Before Lilith's Letter... Before Luz's Diary Entry...

A witch's quill scratches on paper, her eyebrows furrowing in thought as she fills a well-worn book with her thoughts and desires and fears.

She smiles at the yellow bird who is fast asleep on her extra pillow, and with a snap of her fingers extinguishes the light spells that had been illuminating her cozy bedroom.

She sleeps.

She dreams…

She dreams of a strange world. A world without magic. A harsh world of rules, and penance, and fear.

A man stands in front of a bonfire, the glow of the firelight dancing on his wild blond hair. He is surrounded by a screaming crowd, torches and pitchforks and fists waving in the air.

"No," she begs. "No, no, no, no."

She calls his name over the cacophony of violent chanting, her voice muffled by the roar of the growing conflagration.

He turns.

She screams.

Blood. Smoke. Fire. The flash of a knife. It all happens too fast.

He is gone.

...and she wakes up.

Welcome to Evelyn's Journal.

Credits: -The phenomenal cover art was drawn by the absolute legend @bananadramaaa. Thank you so much for your help! -The script and Evelyn's voice were written and recorded by Birdie (that's me!) -It's probably pretty obvious, but this project was directly inspired by the audio recordings a few of TOH's VAs did for one of Dana's charity livestreams. Look them up if you have never heard them. They are fantastic!

The audio and script will also be available at AO3 on (or some time after) Sunday, March 26th. You may find it at litfeathers if you would like to give this project some love over there too!

The complete script can be found under the read more, so you may follow along if you wish.

Grab a snack and get comfy. We have an almost 15 minute runtime! Enjoy! 🔥🪶

Scaburary 10th

I had to cover for Bileadona at work. She never showed up for her shift, and so Goldie and I were forced to make an unexpected trip to Bonesborough.

Extra disappointing, since I was planning to spend the afternoon in the garden with my sketchbook. I wanted to redo my blue jay drawing, as I am not quite satisfied with it.

Ah, well. I’ll draw in the garden tomorrow.

Scaburary 11th

UUUGHHH DAMN RAIN!

Goldie has been moping and staring out the window at the sizzling forest all morning, desperately wishing she could have her early morning flight through the trees. I have given her a handful of seeds to help her feel better. She seems pouty still, but has cheered up slightly. She is currently ordering the seeds from most to least appealing. Heh. This should take her a while.

Only two days are left!

Scaburary 13th

Work, work, work. I couldn’t stop watching the sunlight and shadows slowly move across the library floor and sighing impatiently. Bileadona happened by my cart as I was shelving books, and asked why the calendar at my desk is so strange. I told her it was an old-fashioned solar calendar from the bloodievil period. She didn’t seem to buy it, but didn’t push the subject.

I also made a quick…detour before I went home. Just to say hello to some dear friends. Some very special friends who are going to severely regret their actions from last week.

*evil witch cackle*

As an added bonus, I finally managed to nab one of their…creative drawings of me. It is now proudly displayed on my living room wall, just above the couch. Truly, it is a work of art, and I am humbled by their kindness.

I just hope they find my return offering just as humbling ehehehehe.

I have been getting more and more excited for every visit to the Human Realm. Not that I have been there recently. I most definitely have not. Don’t be absurd.

But anyway. This week has dragged endlessly! I cannot wait for tomorrow.

It’s nice to have a friend.

Scaburary 14th, Human Realm year 1623

Today was nice.

It was a Friday in Human reckoning, so Caleb and I enjoyed the usual supper on a blanket in the snowy woods. I made sure to include dragon bacon sandwiches and deviled griffin stew in the spread, as they are his favorites. And of course, a thermos of hot apple blood to warm us up. It was a marvelous feast!

He looks a bit better lately. His skin is less pale, and the shadows under his eyes are less prominent.

The moment I landed at at our spot, Caleb immediately asked me if I had anything to do with the recent vandalism of the Gravesfield meetinghouse. I plead innocent. He grimly informed me that someone had scribbled all over the siding, and that one of the drawings bore a striking resemblance to Goldie. I expressed my deepest sympathies for the poor soul who would have to clean it up. He further informed me that the words “Evie was here” were scrawled over the front door. I told him that since my given name isn’t Evie, it’s Evelyn, he was clearly looking for another culprit. He grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me dead in the eye, and told me, in the most fed-up of tones, that the drawings could move.

“Huh,” I said. “In that case, it sounds like you might have a witch on your hands. I hear they are pretty tricky to deal with, but seeing as you are such an expert witch hunter, you surely won’t have a problem rooting her out!”

At that he made such a ridiculously frustrated face, I could no longer hold in my laughter. It was the look he gets where his cheeks flush and his nose flares. The red even reached his ears this time! Fantastic.

He gave up at that point. He just sighed deeply and shook his head. But I could tell he was desperately trying to hold back a smile.

While we enjoyed our meal, we got on the topic of weather. After my previous deception, he didn’t quite believe me when I told him that rain boils in the Demon Realm. When I cast an illusion to show him a typical Boiling Isles thunderstorm, his eyes lit up brighter than the sun. As fun as it is to tease and banter with him, I think I vastly prefer those quiet moments between us. When the storm clouds lift from his eyes.

*trails off*

I can tell he’s lonely.

Last week, while we were on our owl watch, he mentioned offhandedly that he hasn’t received a proper hug in years.

I was about to feign ignorance and pretend to not know what a hug is, until I realized that…err. Well, we are two galdorpeas in a pod in that regard, aren’t we?

And no, I did not offer myself up. Because some walls are built for a reason.

Caleb is surrounded by pitchforks and torches and prying eyes.

His village is dangerous.

His brother has been asking more and more…questions.

I know I shouldn’t keep doing this. I know I can’t keep doing this. There is a line, and I am terrified that I am gleefully dancing towards it, and one day I am going to be unable to stop myself from crossing into something…

*deep sigh*

…something I cannot come back from.

I am unwilling to admit this anywhere but here. And this is difficult to write, even if my eyes are the only ones that will ever read it. But…

He scares me.

Hah! How silly is that? We’re the closest of friends. I am a powerful adult witch. And I am scared of him?

It makes no sense. Witch hunter my butt! I trust him completely. He is kind. Sweet, even. No matter how much sass and grumpiness he sprinkles into his words, it is abundantly clear that his heart is made of pure gold. His smile could melt snow. His soft words could tame the wildest slitherbeast. His laugh is pure music.

*embarrassed cough*

So, then. Why the fear? Why have I been finding myself so on edge around him lately? It’s incredibly frustrating.

Words are difficult to get out. My pulse quickens when he sits too close. I can no longer look him in the eye without my face heating up. What else could cause this but fear? It is clearly my body warning me that what I am doing is incredibly foolish.

Or perhaps it’s just the apple blood.

*sighs in frustration, then there is a long moment of silence*

No. I’m not that naive. I know it’s not the apple blood. It’s just that…I’m…

I’m not ready.

I don’t have much more I would like to say on this topic, so I suppose I shall end this entry and tuck myself into bed with a good book. Perhaps Goldie would like for me to read her another story.

Here’s hoping for some nice dreams. Titan willing.

Goodnight.

Scaburary 15th

I had the day off from work. I tried to draw in the garden, but my redo of the blue jay sketch came out even worse than the original. I ended up spending most of my day on the couch, half paying attention to a book I could barely focus on enough to read.

I had dreams last night. Dreams I absolutely refuse to relive by writing them down.

Please. Please, please, please let tonight be better.

Scaburary 16th

Oh, Titan. I hate this.

I have made a decision. A decision I am absolutely miserable to be making.

It’s something I can absolutely not back out on. Something I should have done ages ago.

Something I should have done before I got…attached.

No matter what, this will end in pain. But it must end. Before he is harmed. Or worse. I know what I must do. But it hurts. I have to protect him. This week will be rough. Please wish me luck and courage.

Scaburary 17th My chest hurts. My eyes are sore. Everyone has been giving me space at work. I am sure they can tell something is very wrong, but no one has pried. At least I managed to keep it together until I was halfway home. Be proud of my fortitude.

After I was done being sorry for myself, I got an idea. I am unsure if I will be able to follow through with my plan. But if I can find my courage, perhaps I can at least try.

When we say our goodbyes, I can at least ensure Caleb still has a friend.

I haven’t carved a palisman in years. Not since I made Goldie with Mother and Father. And not since they…

*chokes up for a second*

I don’t even know if I remember how. But there is a grove of healthy palistrom trees in the backyard. And I still have my knife.

I even know what he would want.

Fine. Tomorrow I will start carving.

Scaburary 18th I opened my journal to write, but I have nothing substantial to say. This week has been miserable. I wish it were Friday so I could get this over with. Goldie keeps offering me seeds to cheer me up. I’m sorry, Goldie. I appreciate the gesture, but not everything can be fixed with a tasty seed.

Scaburary 19th I sent Goldie to deliver my final rebus message. I got such an excited response back, I nearly lost it again. He has heard a saw-whet owl in the woods by the fields. He wants to take me out there to listen for it. Sounds lovely. I suppose it’s nice to look forward to one last owl watch. What should I do with the remaining Titan’s blood? Dispose of it? Donate it to a researcher? All I know is that I cannot keep the vials. Lest I be…tempted. I’ll miss the birds. Caleb’s gift is drying on the kitchen table. I wonder what wish he will make.

Scaburary 20th I am surprisingly calm. There is something to be said for allowing yourself to…feel. To let your emotions exist, acknowledge them, let them out. That isn’t typically how I operate, but perhaps it can be advantageous to…sometimes…occasionally…not bury everything? As much as I hate to admit it. I was even able to laugh at Goldie’s antics. She brought home a rattle worm and pretended to feed it to our new scarlet friend. She even feigned offense when he refused her gift by remaining silent and wooden. Silly bird! I don’t know what I would ever do without her. I think I will be fine. Once the dust settles. We will all be fine.

Scaburary 22nd I do not know where to start. It is late evening. I am sitting here in bed, journal in lap, as usual. But Goldie is perched on my shoulder instead of her usual spot on my extra pillow. Because my extra pillow is occupied. It is occupied by a blond human and a small red bird. Oh. He just reached out in his sleep to hug my waist. I suppose I’m trapped now. I’ve never been so happy. I’ve never been so happy, and yet so anxious? I can’t stop smiling. I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling or swooning or giggling since last night! How embarrassing. How completely and utterly embarrassing! ...Goldie, I know you are reading this. I can hear you laughing! Quit it! I think I’m still in a bit of shock-GOLDIE THIS IS PRIVATE. I haven’t quite processed any of this-I KNOW YOU CAN FEEL MY EMOTIONS AND HEAR MY THOUGHTS! I DON’T CARE! YOU’RE STILL BEING NOSY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE WERE BOTH SO OBVIOUS? I SAID STOP LAUGHING!!! Fine. You were right. Is that what you wished to hear? Are you happy now, you smug little feather brain? Good. Anyway. Where was I? Everything happened so…fast. The last 24 hours have been absolutely wild. And terrifying. And…intense. But I think I can finally admit something important, even if it’s only here for now. Let’s see if I can manage to actually write it. Goodness, my hand is shaking. Alright. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Here goes… *swoons a little* I’m in love. Goodnight, everyone. Sweet dreams. *snaps fingers, and light spells are extinguished* Sung: You are not alone No matter how far you have flown Together we feel we’re at home In darkness light shines in your bones *As she hums the song fades out*

[hopelesslyromanticgay]

Playing with her hair - Vada Cavell X Reader

Y/N's POV:

"Why are people in horror movies so dumb!" my girlfriend Vada complains, "Like in the real world no one is stupid enough to do ANY of this. Like, no one would even pick up the phone in the first place!"

"Uh huh," I say to the girl sprawled out across my lap and the rest of the couch, not fully paying attention to what she's saying. I'm more focused on counting her freckles. A while ago, the question of how many freckles she had started to interest me and ever since it's been hard to get the idea out of my mind.

68...

69...

70...

"Y/N/N, are you listening to me?" she asks, breaking my trance, "am I rambling again, I'm sorry."

"Don't be! You're cute when you ramble," I reassure her. She looks over at me, a huge smile creeping over her face, her beautiful brown eyes shimmering in the dim light.

"In that case, I'm gonna keep going," she tells me, "what kind of dumbass decides it's a good idea to let their younger than six year old kid go out of the house alone on a rainy day!"

"Bad ones, I guess," I say absentmindedly. We keep on watching the movie we have on, neither of us really focused on it. without even thinking of it, my hands make their way to her hair.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"Messing with your hair," I admit.

"Oh my god, are we acting like a normal couple?" she gasps.

"Do you not like it?"

"No!" she exclaims, "please don't stop."

"Oh my god, can I style it?"

"As long as it's not too fancy," she insists. One of the first things I ever learned about Vada is how much she hates looking fancy. She doesn't like the tight fitting "feminine" clothing, or the way makeup feels on her face. She hates the way her hair gets tightly pulled into an uncomfortable style, and then gelled into place. What's even worse is if she has to do all three of those TOGETHER. So I'm making it a point to keep it fairly informal, but still neat. 

I run my fingers through her dark brunette locks, trying to get the various knots out.

"Ow!" that one hurt!" she squeals.

"Sorry, oh my god are you okay?" I apologize, hoping I haven't hurt her too bad.

"I guess," she says sadly.

"Will this make it better?" I ask, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She looks up at me smiling, "so much better." I brush a few strands of hair out of her face before continue styling it. She climbs into my lap, facing away from me so I can better access her hair.

I start parting her hair, so that there's an even amount of it on each side of her face.

"Oh my god Beverly get out of that house!" Vada screams, practically jumping up at the television, "I swear these people are so dumb."

"Vada, baby, you need to sit slightly still for this to look good," I say softly.

"Fine," she pouts, "why is you doing this kind of relaxing?"

"Maybe I just have that effect on you," I suggest.

"No, normally you make me so excited and happy, like a little kid seeing a bunch of candy and a lot of stuffies!"

"Aww, that's cute," I smile, my face getting warm.

"You're the best girlfriend ever," she compliments me, "I don't know how I wound up with someone as beautiful and funny and all around amazing as you."

"Maybe it's because you're the best girlfriend ever," I suggest.

"No you are!"

"No you!" We continue to argue about who's the better girlfriend, eventually realizing that we'd never get the other to agree with our opinion.

I end up sorting her hair into two neat braids, not too fancy, but presentable. 

"And voila!" I say, snapping a photo of the brunette to show her how she looks. She turns around quickly to view the photo.

"I look like Wednesday Addams if she had severe PTSD," she laughs, "but seriously, I love it."

"You do look like that!" I cackle, "what a funny coincidence!"

"Thank you, Y/N/N. I love it," she smiles softly, a blush creeping up on her cheeks.

"Sure thing, it was probably more fun for me than it was for you," I giggle.

"Well you can play with my hair anytime," she offers.

"Haha! You're gonna regret making that offer," I tell her.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Hello my pretties *witch cackle* *voice cracks mid-cackle* *we pretend it didn't happen* it's your mascot, prince of the gays. I'm just going to take a break from tumblr and discord for a day and try to deal with my legs and my messy lil maggot brain.

My definition of "rest your legs because they're fucking bruised and you have a haematoma" was "cram them into heeled boots and go to a music production workshop and then walk around a mall for a subway" yesterday. As you can imagine that has not worked out well for me. BUT fuck it we ball it just aches a lil.

ALSO LOOK AT THIS THE BRAINROT IS INESCAPABLE. THERE WERE A YELLOW POT WITH PLANTS. CROWLEY. A BOOK WITH AN ILLUSTRATION. CROWLEY. AND OFC I FOUND NORSE MYTHOLOGY CHILLING IN THE BOOKSHOP.

There is no escape and I love that. Ofc I'm not exactly helping matters, I literally took the Good Omens book to the hospital (haematoma babygirls) and slept with it there (the homoerotic tension between me and my copy of the book is real).

Yesterday I had an anxiety attack at the Staged stream (thank you so much @thescholarlystrumpet for helping me, I'm sorry to everyone on the stream for having to stop after S2) which is why I think I'd better take a break for a day and, well, think about what I wanna do vis à vis college and also speaking up about the whole issues surrounding it and our shit education system.

Aaaaaand so here I am making this post. Roxie and the plants (Aziraphale, Adam and Crowley) send their love to you all.

I'll leave you with a cursed thought so that you do not forget me while I'm gone ✨️...

The Bentley × Lightning McQueen fanfiction (E rated enemies to lovers)

*grins* See you on Monday, my crazy fandom. Someone please check in on the server, the maggots are rather prone to incest and cannibalism when left unattended. I love you all.

Have an amazing day. Look at you, you're gorgeous.

~Asmi

[alexa-fika]

Rise of the Usurper (Doflamingo x gn!pigeon!reader)

A/N This is Doflamingo’s version of the messenger pigeon!reader that I wrote for Crocodile, I think crocodile’s makes me more fuzzy inside,maybe cause Doflamingo has 0 redemption and is a complete utter ass, but idk what do y’all think? We likey? We getting the fuzzy feels?

Dividers by @/saradika

” Fufufu~ Just the person I was waiting for,” Doflamingo cackles in his usual lax pose, leaning back on the throne, legs crossed and head leaning on his hand.

His smile widens as they struggle against his subordinates as he gestures them to leave the Reader and him alone

“What the hell do you want” They growl rubbing their arms as his crew-mates finally release them

“Oh the little birdy has claws~” He tilts his head.

“All I want to know is, Where were you going, fufu? I send you to do some deliveries, and next, I know you’re trying to leave Dressrosa?”

“I don’t work for you; I work for the King of Dressrosa, and that definitely is not you.”

“Oh, is that right? And where is this king now?”

“I don’t know what you did to him, but I know you were behind it; there is no way the king would do those things. He loves this kingdom and its people, and there is no way someone like you would just ‘pass by’ and happen to save the day.”

The smile on Doflamingo’s face starts to turn a little twisted

“So, the pigeon has some brains to back them up. Too bad; you’re in my land now, my territory now. You should watch that little tongue. I won’t have it insulting me like that”.

“I’ll admit you’re an interesting little creature. But you should be careful, little pigeon. What you are saying about me is a real offense. I’ve killed for much less.”

“Like you killed King Riku?”

“Fuffuffuffu”

In the blink of an eye, they are quickly enveloped by Doflamingo’s strings, their struggles against them seemingly futile.

“Fuffuffuffu ~ You’re quite the little pest; I knew I liked you. But What you know could damage the image I’m projecting. Why don’t you be a nice bird and just do as you’re told, deliver what I tell you, and keep your mouth shut?”

“Like hell, I will!”

Doflamingo lets out a dry laugh

“Ah~ You are a feisty little one, aren’t you, Fufufu~”

The strings are slowly tightening up around them. Doflamingo smiles once more.

“If you’re the smart little birdy you’ve been trying to present yourself as you’ll see the merit in my suggestion.”

“I work for the Riku family. Not you.”

“The Riku family is nothing more than dirt on my shoe right now. Their King is dethroned and gone by my hand.”

“So, as I said, you can either keep your mouth shut and deliver what I want you to or…you wouldn’t want to become a flightless bird, would you? Fufufufufu~…” He laughs

Their eyes widen as they feel the unmistakable feeling of something wrapping around the base of their wings, and immediately move to shake it off

“Fufufufu…What do you choose? Keep your mouth shut and continue your service to me, the King, or lose them?“ he says as the strings slowly tighten

“Better decide quick; my strings are more than capable of slicing through those wings of yours.”

“Stop!”

Doflamingo raises a brow as the strings retract.

“Hm? You decided to shut up and listen to your king?”He giggles mockingly

They glare at him

“You are not a kind, much less my king,” they growl

His smirk just grows at the comment as he motions the strings to return and slowly, once more, coil around the base of their wings

“I am a king because I took it by force; I am kind to those who swear their allegiance to me. So, one more time. Will you listen to your king and stop talking back?”

“I’ll continue working as the Royal Mail, but you can go to hell if you think I'll acknowledge you as a king; you are simply a usurper.”

There is a beat of silence before Doflamingo laughs

“Oh, you really are something,” he says.

“You think I care about your little petty words? I rule this country; people here acknowledge me as king, and I am the rightful ruler; you can tell yourself whatever lies you want in your little bird head of yours, but at the end of the day, you’re just going to be a mail pigeon, and I’m the one sitting on the throne. Fufufufu,” he laughs, releasing the strings enveloping all around their body

“Now come here,” he said, calling them closer to the throne

They stand their ground, glaring at the man sitting on the throne

He raises a brow, and his smirk returns.

“You know how this will end; how about you save yourself the trouble and come up

here”

They grit their teeth, knowing that if they continue to stand their ground, he would

Simply puppeteer them towards him, so they decided to at the least make their advance with them controlling their own limbs, climbing up the stairs, and standing in front of him

He smiles.

“Ah~ There you go, fufu. I knew my birdy had some brains. Now kneel down.”

“Like hell, I will.”

“I’ll ask one more time nicely; if you don’t, then I’ll force you.”

“Do it then.”

His smile widens once more as he raises a hand, summoning his strings again. The strings once more wrap around their body.

“Kneel….”

They grunt as the strings pull them down, effectively putting them into a kneeling position in front of the man, a whine escaping them as they feel him clasp something at the base of both wings, furiously beating their wings to try to get rid of the intrusive pain

“ What are you doing?!”

Doflamingo laughs at the pain he is inflicting on Reader as they desperately try to break free

“I’m taking some precautions. You are a key factor for helping me take this country to supremacy, But that doesn’t mean you get to try and run away.”

“What did you do?”

“I put bomb collars at the base of your wings; this way, you’ll stay nice and obedient for me; keep that mouth shut about what you know, or lose the wings you so treasure,” he said, releasing the strings and allowing them to get up

“You miserable piec-

His smirk widens as he places his hand on their mouth

“Hm? Fufu…you’re getting noisy again,” he laughed.

“I hate to say it, but it looks like your life as you knew it is over; now you’ll work for me. For the rest of your time, you are my little delivery bird, both personal and royal.”

“You won’t get away with this.”

Doflamingo laughs

“It looks like I already did. You’re nothing more than a little messenger, a servant for me now.” he laughs

“A servant who knows too much and will keep their mouth. But don’t worry, little bird, your life isn’t over. I still have a lot of use for you. You’re pretty popular with the people, and I have a little plan that will put you in the limelight even more. So let’s see, I have some mail that I want to be delivered; why don’t you do that first, my servant.”

“Yes, they know me, so they will believe me when I tell them what you did,” they say, slapping away his hand.

“You underestimate the hold I have on my subjects; they just saw me save them from a tyrannical and raging king. You’ll be known as a messenger who is loyal to the crown, and in due time, they will love you for just that. Your words are as meaningless as a bird chirp. You’re a smart little birdy, but you forgot one crucial thing: I’m the king, and I run this country. No one will believe you.” He taunts them

“And after they ignore your pleas as you try to tell them what you saw, I'll just drag you back, and I'll blow those little wings off you, and you'll find out how kind I truly am being right now, so be smart and keep your mouth shut.”

They grit their teeth, knowing that as much as they hated him, as big as an usurper as he was, he wasn’t wrong; the citizens all believed him to be a hero, a bystander who had saved them for no reason other than to help the people.

He smiled; the pigeon was finally getting the picture that they had no chance; they were no match for the new king of Dressrosa.

“Good little birdy, now get out my sight; you have some mail to deliver.”

“You will one day regret this; pay for this; I will make sure of it.” They said, spreading their wings and turning around

Doflamingo bursts out laughing.

“I’m sure you will, little birdy, I’m sure you will. But for now, your role is to do what I say and nothing more, and like I said, I have lots of plans for you.”

So? Thoughts? Opinions? How did out resident asshole made you feel? Should I make a part two for this one as well? Should I do this series with someone else too? Im also working or part three for Crocodile’s right now, right after I finish and post a wholesome piece I will get to editing that one 👀, gotta level the feels.

Taglist:

@imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin