#this man is running on fumes and can't bear to type out more than the bare minimum

[cyberpunkboytoy]

my favourite thing about towa is his texting style. unintentionally hilarious, he is just some guy

He is TRULY just some guy. Maybe even the most guy ever. I love when he just responds with "y" or "k". He's so funny.

[plscallmeeren]

Citizens of Westview

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Request: yes I'm sorry this took me so long but I am now nearing the end of my exam period 🥲

Summary: Wanda is on her way to WandaVision as she arrives in Westview, but before she can freak out on us, she meets someone

Someone = you = retired warrior with telepathy + telekineses

Warnings: sad Wanda; not proofread rip

Word Count: 1.4K

Wanda Maximoff was fuming and upset and destroyed and violently inclined and numb from the pain. Everything hurt. Everything was changing. He was never coming back. No, she was never coming back. Could never be the same as she once was.

When was that again? It felt like a long ago, but was it? Maybe for everyone else, whose five years dragged with the absence of company, but for her... for her it hadn't been long since the peak of her life. It hadn't lasted long, really. From one horror to the next, life had never stopped giving Wanda Maximoff a hard time.

Surely this was the worst of them all.

She stood motionless for a moment in a driveway, staring at the worn foundations of a town house. Vision's house. Vision's vision, ironically.

Slow steps led her to its centre, hand clutching at his plans like a lifeline.

Wanda wondered whether she ever would have lived him. He wasn't what she imagined - ever. He was only there when she needed someone most. Did she have the right to mourn someone she may have used for her own emotional balance? No, she thought.

A strange feeling invaded her senses as she considered her own mind. She knew it. Except she usually felt it from the other side.

Someone was in her head, snooping.

How dare they?

She realised only now that she had fallen to her knees on the harsh ground, tears running down her cheeks uncontrollably. It hurt. It all hurt, and she didn't even know what was causing her all this pain. When she tried to recount everything to herself, it felt like encouraging the water drowning her back over her head in order to make her lungs not only gasp for air and find currents, but also for them to be crushed under all the weight of an ocean.

Everything hurts.

Which is why no one should have been invading on all of that.

With some struggle, she turned, standing, grasping the sacred paper in her one hand while the other cocooned itself in crimson magic.

Before her stood a young-looking man, though certainly older than her, hands pushed into his pockets timidly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't read your thoughts, I just... I just felt."

Wanda's mind spun at the sound of your voice. Deep, as if the ocean was now enveloping her protectively. Slightly raspy, as if you had smoked one year too many. Melodic, as if she had missed the lyrics to an important song.

"I... How did you- You can't-"

"I don't know what made you feel the way you feel right now, but it must be truly horrible. That pain..." You shuddered, approaching her with a little more confidence, but keeping a safe distance.

Wanda was lost for words.

"Why here of all places?"

She hesitated, then decided: "My boyfriend plans on building a house here. I wanted to see it. Or, well, what it would be."

You nodded contemplatively. "So there's a boyfriend, huh?" you teased, stopping when you were only a meter away from her. She felt volatile. She couldn't bear it if you tried to touch her. But for a moment, she was distracted.

"No," she found herself saying instinctively, though this hadn't been the plan, "no boyfriend anymore."

"Sorry to hear it. Or at least, sorry for you." You smiled a little. It was all risky when someone was this emotional - or so spoke experience. One wrong word or wrong daring and it was all over, but in the end, treating someone like a snowflake was the most likely to backfire.

She stared at you incredulously, gaping at the simple flirting. She observed her contender closer: a tall, toned man with short black hair and a bandana. She could have screamed and kicked when her subconscious reminded her this was more like her type.

You watched her, too. If you hadn't been so distracted by her dishevelled look, you might have called her flawlessly beautiful.

"What's the house gonna look like?" you asked as pleasantly as possible, sitting down in the wiry grass with crossed legs.

"I, uh..." Wanda pulled out the plans, handing them over. You took them graciously, taking a moment to look properly before smiling widely.

"This is really nice. Good town house feel. Kinda looks like one of those old sit-coms, you know?"

She couldn't help but stare further. The coiling witchcraft encompassing her arm slowly dissipated as she collapsed on the ground opposite you.

"Yes," she said finally, leaning forward tiredly. "I always liked sit-coms. Especially the Dick Van Dyke Show. I watched it when I was little, and recently... well, I was just getting into it again."

"I don't know that one," you confessed. "But I always liked Bewitched and The Brady Brunch. Sometimes I Dreamed of Jeannie, when I was feeling particularly whimsical." You chuckled and a watery laugh escaped her in response.

"I know Bewitched and The Brady Brunch. They're both good. I loved the dresses in Bewitched, you know? It was always so classy. What's the other one?"

"Oh, it's about this guy who unleashes a beautiful woman called Jeannie and she's bound to him. She can fulfil all of his wishes, but her attempts at doing him good often go a bit awry... it's very funny."

"I can imagine."

She could believe she was smiling. Honestly smiling. Practically grinning.

"If I may ask; where are you from? That's an interesting accent you got there." You saw the complicated expression on her face and quickly rectified: "I'm sure people ask you all the time - I shouldn't be so unoriginal."

"No, no, it's fine. People don't ask as often as I'd sometimes like." Her eyes glazed over in distant imagery and you wondered where she had travelled to. "I'm from Sokovia."

Your brain sent you immediate news footage of the disaster in Sokovia and the Avengers and-

Wanda Maximoff.

But you didn't comment on any of this, because really, what good would it do?

"I've heard of it." Her shoulders sagged. She could see the pitiful questions coming her way already. "It's somewhere between Slovakia and the Czech Republic, no?"

Her eyes widened. For another moment, she was distracted.

"Yeah. That's it. It's beautiful, you know. Terrible government, but beautiful."

"Just like the U.S., then?" you smirked, earning an Eastern European smile of superiority in return.

"Mhm. We had this tradition in the winter where we would..."

You listened intently, hanging onto every word as if you were going to be tested in the material.

You didn't generally like people too much. You didn't hate them, either. You had just seen too much. Too many thoughts, emotions, memories, fears - too much humanity for one receiver.

But another person who had seen all that? Had felt and heard the facets of a thousand lives? That was interesting. You were very interested. Maybe you would have been even if that hadn't been the case.

Darkness crawled over the clouded planes of this Western sky, draping its silky blanket dotted with shining light and an iridescent crescent over the town of Westview. The two of you hardly noticed, delved deep in conversation, until making out the other's face proved a challenge.

"I should be going," Wanda gave in to nature's lullaby eventually. "I'm not sure where to go, though."

You considered her for a moment, then offered: "You're welcome to stay at my place for a while. If not, I know an inn downtown that's probably still open?"

She gazed at you in a way that the naïve mind could interpret as loving, then slowly nodded.

"Yes, I'd like to stay with you. I trust you, stranger, even if it is not in my best interest." Her accent was thick with drowsiness.

"Good. Can I ask - just to be sure - what's your name?"

"Wanda. You knew?"

"I had a hunch. My name's (y/n)."

"Do you have a superhero name or something, too?" she laughed warmly, but she could still taste the salt of tears on her tongue.

"No, I never cared much for superheroes."

_____________

Pt 2?

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie, Bronson, Charlie & Bea

Ronnie: I'm going on a run Ronnie: who wants? Bronson: My stash is depleted for some unknown reason 🤔 please stock me up Charlie: Ooh, new year new you babe? Charlie: couch to 5k is it aspirational af 😍 Bea: ✋ me Ronnie: fuck off i just dont need you pussies crying when you can't scav my gear Ronnie: what'll it be princess? the usual Charlie: c'mon, we've always shared everything, nothing is your own #carekidlife Bronson: Ha! That'll be why the lock on my door never sticks Bea: yep, not decided to get heavily into crack since we last spoke, just lots of amphetamines in any form you find 'em, tah, got exams coming up Ronnie: Shame Ronnie: reckon I'd like you more on the hard shit Charlie: just in case you missed the old place, man, giving you that nostalgia for when you had to padlock anything that wasn't bolted to the floor 😜 Bronson: Good times! 😀 Bea: Shame I'm not trying to be your type then, I guess Bea: soz darling, spoken for 💋 Charlie: Truly, missing that tenner a week pocket money, LUXURY! Ronnie: fucking am Ronnie: pissing jobcentre Bronson: I'll add it to your tab if you're desperate as Charlie: gotta learn to play their game, babe Charlie: not throw the board in a hissy Ronnie: 🖕 doss cunts Bea: catch me here fanning myself with sweet, sweet debt for future me to give a shit about Bronson: I'll wipe it out if you use some to keep me sweet Bea: sweet enough sugar 😘 Bea: but forreal, if you could manage that I would be your sugar mama for LIFE 🙏 Bronson: It's student loans not the feds Bronson: Easy peasy Bea: true, like all branches of the gov, pretty fucking useless Bea: but I'm an immigrant as far as they concerned so they treat me SO good 😋 Bronson: Same, but we can always stretch our hands out a little further Ronnie: To jack it and pat yourself on the back at the same time, yeah? Ronnie: calm it down Bronson: New year, new look too! Green looks ace with black 😄 Bea: Clearly do not have natural rhythm Ronnie, that's really not that difficult Bea: You're not a drummer, are you? 😕 Ronnie: get off my tits all of yous Ronnie: do you want gear or nah? Bronson: 🤐 Bea: I thought you'd already gone tbh Ronnie: not trying to score that weak gay shit Ronnie: hitting up a more reliable source like Charlie: rude, i'm RIGHT here Ronnie: are you even gay fitzy? always in my pussy lad Bronson: 😷 Bea: 🤢 Charlie: idk, ask ur man 💖 Ronnie: that'll be why me and Bron's dads did a bunk Bronson: Get yourself locked up at the same time just for the d, did you? Romantic Charlie: if the porn n the stereotypes n the rate of STIs are anything to go by...love is in the air always in cell block h Ronnie: princess'll have some handcuffs to get you on your way to that good loving Bea: 🚿🧠 anyone got any bleach? Bea: Charlie isn't worth the 💰 use cable ties, more authentic Bronson: 99 🚔 My fingers are on the button....Stop for the love of god Ronnie: Bron can help you out there Fitz Ronnie: 🤓 Bronson: Take that over a thicko label Charlie: Look, babe, know you wanna tie me down forever but do it yourself, don't involve the kid Charlie: 💍 diamond or no D, soz Ronnie: Bring a needle I'll snag a gem Bronson: Don't go there, C, I'm still riding the ear infection wave Bronson: It's been 84 years Ronnie: yeah cause you're a mong that can't turn an earring Bronson: In my defense I was a legit child Bea: nothing screams low-class like stabbing your friends for the bants Charlie: and i already scream homo loudly enough, don't need another reason to be hate crime-d, a thank you Bronson: If I didn't know you I'd guess bisexual Bronson: You can have that for free Charlie: what a smooth-talker! thanks babe 💖 Charlie: and if i didn't know you, i'd guess you were trying to see my dongle Bronson: Been there, repressed the trauma o that Ronnie: get a fucking room benders Charlie: why you being so homophobic when we all know how bad you want on princess? cliche stuck in the closet much Bea: shut up Ronnie: in your wet dreams Charles Ronnie: fuck off Charlie: oh the delicious tension Charlie: too much for either to bear Ronnie: I know where she's been Ronnie: fuck that Ronnie: like you wish you could gayboy Bronson: Wait, you fancy Fraze, Charlie? Ha Bea: Bron can you not encourage either of them Bea: thanks Bronson: Sorry my mind's just blown I thought he was out of his straight boy phase Charlie: What? Its a compliment for you, he's adorable, why else would you be with him? Ronnie: they're both annoying cunts Ronnie: match made Charlie: and never out of that phase, bro 😍 #daddyissues Bea: get his name out of your mouth bitch Ronnie: oi get your mouth off his dick Fitzgerald you heard her Ronnie: princess is raging like Ronnie: when your mans a slag and youre a prude Bea: As if Bea: Only one McKenna fucked up to go near you Bea: #singletear Charlie: Children, enough Ronnie: Bron do that final 9 she's going off 😂 Bronson: Walking away Bea: know you're hard up but as per we're all funding you getting your rocks off so run along and do it, no need to bore me trying to get your kicks Ronnie: know youre a snobby cunt but I don't work for you Bea: you don't work for anyone, not even JC gonna fund your lack of a life Ronnie: 🖕 mad cause I don't need reddies to fund myself Bea: yeah fuming Bea: if only I'd have thought of selling my body, wouldn't even NEED to be at cambs rn omg Ronnie: nailed it Bea: 😂 Bea: whodathunkit Bea: talking to the cure for cancer stuck inside a waster here Bea: and I'm the snob, okay Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: devvo like Bea: We can tell Bea: you don't need to shout about it, you've got the energy of a walking wasteland Ronnie: can't wait until you take some more speed and get more smug Bea: Right? Bea: Must sting, better only getting better Bea: why don't you get something to numb the pain- Ronnie: let you know how it feels when the lads come up Bronson: A rare compliment, you hitting it already? Ronnie: you'll have your share calm the fuck down Charlie: i don't want any, i'm busy Charlie: glad you all noted my silence, feel so listened to usually! hmpf Ronnie: so now you're a little bitch too Ronnie: fuck's sake Bronson: PARTY TIME, am I right? Really in the mood now thanks everyone Charlie: who's in who's pussy, dollface? Charlie: keep your shirt on, Bro 😂 got enough with the two angry feminists here Charlie: I've got previous plans, if you're really so hurt, you can save me some, no? Whaddya mean that'd hurt more? 😏 Bea: you're alright, I personally rather you weren't there, suits me 😘 Bronson: Shirts already off, too late 😜 Bea: Standard 👌 Charlie: you big man whore Charlie: when i'm not around to be predatory, too, tuttut Bronson: I'd wilt under your stare, you know you aren't missing out Charlie: our beautiful wallflower Charlie: I bagsy being a red rose, lil trashy but iconic Bronson: Thorn in our sides Bronson: accepted Bea: Nice one, babe Bea: i'll be an orchid, because i'm beautiful, ornamental and high-maintenance Bea: getting in there before any of you fucks can Charlie: though your silence IS noted, wonwon Charlie: don't be cross at me 😘 Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you're not the only one who's busy Ronnie: got a dick in my mouth too like Charlie: such a skilled multitasker Charlie: teach me your ways Bronson: in private please Bronson: not a lesson I want to learn Bea: we're not living in that teen movie Ronnie: On my way Bea: 👍 getting cash out, meet you there Bronson: Doors on the latch

Bea: Morning sweetness 😴 Bea: manage to recover your good vibe/night? Bronson: is it? 😪 Bronson: Until now it wasn't too bad Bronson: Do you get to say the same or is it pure suffering? Bea: Wow, when you hit bae up with that morning text and he's like day=ruined 😰 thought we was forever 😉 Bea: Decided to get off with someone around the same time I lost track of yous, so it was fucking awful, don't tell me you coulda told me that Bronson: It's only the comedown I wanna dump you're welcome to come and nap 💗 Bronson: Not to be that know it all Bea: Molly's such a cruel, cruel mistress, she wants you to miss her when she's gone 💁 Bea: Poor bubba, better than waking up next to that pushy bitch from last night though, Jesus, what was her damage? Bea: I reckon he'd actually gone out and had his drunken kebab and THEN PAID TO GET BACK IN Bea: No sir, not alright Bea: Why do I bother? Bronson: But I'm shamelessly smitten, only girl for besides present company like Bronson: Whatever it is she's not the first or last sufferer Bronson: Thanks for the bail out and sorry I wasn't there to do the same with kebab Kev Bea: N'awwh 💞 glad I hold more appeal than Tina, don't need to be going down that route Bea: It's an epidemic! Basic bitches who can't get a man willing, yeah take that out on innocent onlookers who ain't buying and talk about how your ex ain't shit for being a creepy letch Bea: We see you sweets 💅 Bea: Any time, even if you weren't there to take that donner breath bullet Bea: I'd never ask that of anyone, even Ronnie, though she'd brag about not being arsed, I'm sure 😂 Bronson: Next time I'll carry gum and throw it at whoever you deem worthy Bronson: Give me the nod Bronson: It was all over her socials like we had a good night together until I got there first Bronson: Rather take out Tina and all her mates Bea: as if you don't already Bea: if only little miss would-be-rapist knew that strong jawline was from gurning up a storm 😉 Bea: not so sexy now Bronson: there's nothing in my pockets I'm just pleased to see you Bronson: Seriously though, some of those selfies had to go for that unflattering reason alone taking into account none of her other antics Bronson: I looked a state Bea: 😂 not fallen for that one before but i'll make an exception for you boo Bea: catch me in my duvet cocoon, please don't look at me 'cos same Bea: I dread to think Bea: kept off my accounts for that reason and many more, some of us have reputations to uphold, skank Bronson: want me to check Bronson: clean up the carnage Bronson: Then brunch, your treat Bea: please Bea: roleplay my IT bitch and I'll be feeling my boss best in time for a liquid lunch Bea: will have to damage control my face first, enjoy watching me lovingly whilst I turn a -2 to an 11 Bronson: Never get bored of staring at you, you know that Bronson: Make my hair great again Bronson: Thanks Bea: when you shoulda been Trump's campaign manager 😕 Bea: sort the weave, clean up that twitter Bea: what a wonderful world it coulda been Bronson: Last night proves I can't stop him pussy grabbing Bronson: Need you for that one Bea: This pussy bites back 😼 Bea: its not your fault, girls like that, if you tell her to fuck off, and rightly so, it'd be made like YOU were being a prick to her Bea: gotta bullshit these hoes sometimes, tis the only way Bronson: Or playing hard to get...they fire that one at me loads Bronson: 😦 Bea: 🤢 gross Bea: got that one myself a fair few times, when I'm not being accused of being a prude by Ronaldo, hilariously Bea: People are the worst Bea: 'cept us Bronson: It's only because she likes you Bronson: Flattering, isn't it? Bronson: Being called broken is my fave Bronson: "Who hurt you?" You are right now, fuck off before you get a slap yourself to feel the pain of Bea: Wouldn't that just be the perfect solution in their simplistic little world? If only Bea: Save myself the feelings of disgust not brought on by kebab breath Bea: Though, if you think that that's love coming from Ron, then you do have an answer to their riddle right there, not real but the masses'll take one look at her and buy it 😜 Bronson: No arguments here Bronson: Your socials are sparkling now so that's real comfort to take Bea: 💖 yay Bea: the world never need know Bea: as long as I didn't drunk dial or text Fraze, this day is looking up, tah babes Bronson: Not to be a know it all again so quick Bronson: but I'm going to go ahead and guess the answer to that one Bea: BITCH DON'T KILL MY VIBE Bea: I'm sure I'd have angry ranting in my inbox if I had Bea: or a passive indirect on the socials, come across one perchance smartiepants? Bronson: Might've Bronson: I'll spare you Bea: Noooooooooooooooooooo Bea: Coulda had it all Bea: Really sours my Bloody Mary Bea: Fuck sake, now he's going to think I FUCKED kebab kev and enjoyed it meanwhile I sit here virginal and scrubbing my mouth out with soap Bea: How's this game fair again, please remind me Bronson: It isn't Bronson: But I can't tell you to stop playing Bronson: All yours Bea: you're meant to be a superwhizkid Bea: can't you think up a strategy so I win Bronson: Thinking cap is on Bronson: Because my hair still looks shit as much as Bea: I'll fix your barnet Bea: Between you and Charlie, honestly Bea: Never known boys like it 😂 Bea: blatant lie, have you seen how particular Fraze is but he doesn't really have much hair to be stylin' so Bronson: 👴 awkward Bea: you fool Bea: not like that 😂 Bea: though I'll keep it in my backpocket for when we inevitably row later Bea: #malepatternbaldnessBITCH Bronson: Freebie to kick your day off right again Bea: if you refuse to tell me what to do, could you use your skillz for good at least and fucking disable my phone when i'm fucked Bronson: Last time I tried you tried to fight me like Bea: Look, I didn't say it was a task for the fainthearted 😉 Bea: and yes, you would be the first to succeed too Bea: but if anyone can, its my man 😘 Bronson: Ego boost before eggs Bronson: Whoa Bronson: Today is looking up Bea: Gotta keep you sweet with all the bitching I'll no doubt do at brunch Bea: such a Carrie move, like no one cares bitch, write it in your column or books or...what did she even write? Or was she just monologuing at her computer, like all been there babe but don't act like its buying you all that designer Bronson: Her real true love was that laptop Bronson: Solved it Bea: 😲 Bea: but Mr. Big Bea: clue in the name Bronson: Could be his wallet Bronson: explain the designer gear Bea: Exactly Bea: Just my type Bronson: I'd go in for it if I can spend and send him the receipts Bea: you must be aware there are websites for that Bea: get on it boy Bronson: It all gets too sexual for my tastes Bea: set out boundaries Bea: different strokes for different folks Bea: i'm SURE there's a millionaire out there that just wants to chat Bronson: 🤔 There's enough fighting off advances in the club Bronson: Shelving that until millionaires become good people Bea: not bad people by default Bea: just a bad system they profit from more than you Bronson: Getting deep in here Bronson: Truth though Bea: real talk take #2 Bea: where do you think charlie was last night? and who or what was he doing? Bronson: Good questions that I have no answer to Bronson: If he had a job we'd all know Bea: I need to know, suspense is killing me Bea: I didn't think anything beat drugs in his book Bea: somewhat encouraging? Bronson: You could ask but I doubt you'd get far enough into the real Bronson: It is Bronson: Boy's growing up? Bea: Full of the #bants them two Bronson: Since day 1 Bronson: I'm coming to get you, Barbara Bronson: Ready yourself Bea: *falls over gravestones like a dumb bitch* Bea: i'm good to go and looking fly Bronson: I'll do the coded knock Bronson: Made up rn Bea: Helpful Bronson: That's my thing Bronson: Soon, my love, soon