#this might possibly be the last time i ever get to act on stage too

[netherdevil]

I know it's not time to be sad yet but I'm sad anyway . Like . I don't want this to end. I really did not enjoy rehearsal while it lasted and it's only two more days of actually running the show, I rlly fcking regret not talking to everyone while I could

These could be the last few days I see these people all together so I'm gonna make the most of it while I can but man I am. Sad. I'm being as normal as I can about it but it hurts so much I just want to cry😭

[v1si0n]

JUST GIVE ME A REASON🪐(J.JH) *TEASER*

SUMMARY: you didn’t think think you could possibly hate performing at your schools spring showcase until you were paired up with your mortal enemy, Jung Jaehyun. but you guys are singing a love song, and god knows what love songs do to youngins like you.

TEASER WORD COUNT: 597

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

The last note of the song echoes throughout the auditorium and you’re both staring at each other. Something is definitely different, but you can’t quite put your finger on what. You feel something bubbling in your chest and your stomach, and if you weren’t so lost in the way his lips curl up into a smile, you’d be able to figure out what it was. 

The stage lights dim and there's scattered applause coming from the other performers and the crew. You snap back into reality and look into the audience where you see your best friends looking at you with a knowing smile. You put the mic back onto its stand and rush backstage, where you sit down on a crate and collect your breath. 

“Hey, that was great,” Jaehyun pants, slowly approaching where you’re sitting. 

“Right, yeah.”

“I told you I’d make a great partner,” he snickers and you feel your disdain towards him come back. 

“Yeah, whatever. I can’t wait until this is over with,” you mumble to yourself, but he doesn’t miss it. 

“You hate me that much, huh?“

“Why are you acting surprised?” 

You finally look up at him and if it wasn’t so dark backstage, you’d be able to see the smirk on his features. 

“Cause the way you look at me on stage says different.” 

The look on his face is enough to send shivers down your spine, but you’re so lost in his aura that you still can’t distinguish what it is. You need to get a grip on yourself, otherwise you’re not sure what you’ll do. The sound of the backstage door opening causes you to shift your attention to Mark and Donghyuck, who come rushing in with the biggest shit-eating grins you’ve ever seen. You’re suddenly very aware that your two best friends were watching it all happen, and you stand up abruptly.

“It’s called having stage personality and presence. Maybe you should try it sometime.” 

You don’t even give yourself time to process the change in his face before you walk off, grabbing Mark and Hyuck along with you.

When you reach the audience, you collapse into a seat, and Hyuck is the first one to break the silence after a series of knowing stares between him and Mark. “So…you hate him, huh?”

“Hyuck,” you whine. 

“Innocent question, Y/N.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose and gesture for them to sit next to you. They’re now on either side of you, waiting for you to speak.

“I feel insane,” you almost laugh, but nothing was particularly funny in this situation. You just feel like you need to laugh to lighten the heavy feeling on your chest.

“Because you might not actually hate him?” Mark inquires, and you shake your head. 

“Because I don’t mind the fact that I don’t.”

Your friends send you sympathetic glances, Hyucks eyes darting towards the doors that lead backstage when it squeaks open. He watches Jaehyun walk out seemingly disheveled, before he makes a beeline for the auditorium exit to avoid the stares of the other students. “Is it so bad to think someone you hated isn’t actually a bad person?”

You sigh and rub your eyes. There were too many thoughts swirling around your head and it made you dizzy. 

“Can we step outside?” You ask them and they stand, leading you towards the back of the auditorium. Mark pushes the door open but barely takes a step out before he freezes in his spot with Donghyuck doing the same, causing you to bump into their backs. 

“Oh shit.” 

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

NOTES: hiiiiiii lovelies here is the FIRST;) teaser for just give me a reason !!!!! this was actually the first part i wrote for this piece like a couple years ago and i’ve just been building on it ever since. i hope you guys are excited :))))) LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU GUYS !!!!! taglist is still open !!! this also wasn’t proofread so i apologize if there are some errors im just a girl

[silverskye13]

What is the Tournament story so far? We hear about it in the newest chapter but it gets glossed over and I really like that sort of aspect

Do they different paths it'll go on depending on who wins???

Tell me about it I love this!

The tournament story!

No idea if it'll get talked about in depth in the plot so, yeah sure, possible (very probable) spoilers under the cut [and a very, very long rant about Colosseum lore because I have brain worms.]

First of all, format: The tournaments are basically scripted plays which hinge on set-up fights as payoff for story beats. All tournaments follow the same basic format.

Introduction: Here is the lineup of characters fighting in the arena for this tournament! There are too many gladiators to ever showcase them all at once, and there are smaller more informal productions sprinkled in between the big spectacle performances. Helsknight competes in every big spectacle performance, and will make an honorary appearance in the smaller more contained shows. (The smaller shows tend to feature smaller names and less skilled combatants, so he doesn't compete in them very often for obvious "we all know who's going to win here" reasons. The only reason he competes in those is as a favor, in which case he might show up as a final act Deus Ex Machina to save a scripted winner. This doesn't happen very often -- crowds don't like predetermined winners unless there's a really good story to go with it.)

Major plot: Something happens at the end of the intro causing the "main" characters to pick fights with each other that dictate the rest of the matches. This is when anyone allied to a certain side will also pick that side. This will always result in a deadly match, often times several, where everyone on the individual sides faces each other. Sometimes (rarely) this results in a melee, where a full scale battle is enacted on the field as the climax of the plot. There are a lot of scripted/acted monologues, and the Colosseum is often arranged into a staged arena to fit the theme of whatever the main plot is.

Minor plot: A smaller, lower stakes background plot to add levity to the main plot and break up the story beats. This is where beast masters will compete to show how well trained their beasts are, jousts will happen, feats and contests of martial strength or skill will happen. It's the palette cleanser. It will break up the tournament fighting that makes up the major plot beats. (This is also when sneakier characters might enact plans, try to get combatants to switch sides if that's relevant, or meta characters might explain denser plot beats for the audience.)

Intermission: Go get your snacks!

Minor plot climax: the winners of the smaller feats are announced, and if there was a point tie in any of the competitive categories, they will figure out who wins here, often by doing a last demonstration of skill and letting the crowd decide who has the most pinache.

Major plot climax: The big final fight(s) where the plot line is decided. Whatever the decision is for this fight is often the foundation for the next one. Particularly gnarly finishers will result in grudges that can be exploited later for plot. Sometimes the showrunners will break this by releasing a large monster into the arena halfway through the fight, forcing a "oh now we who hate each other must work together" story beat. This is normally foreshadowed and scripted ahead of time (wouldn't do for the combatants to kill each other before the wither spawns in), but every once and awhile, to keep things spicy, it will be a surprise for the fighters too, just to get more genuine shock from their "actors". Helsknight hates this, and showrunners have been known to face his fury if the fight was particularly harrowing (they're in the habit of keeping gift baskets and competition prizes on hand to smooth things over now, though Helsknight still insists it's the principle of the thing.)

Helsknight has been the reigning Champion for ages, so most of his plotlines have to do with challenges to his title. He's been a heel (bad guy) character for awhile, mostly because EB was the Colosseum's darling, representing the idea of rigorous fairness with a lot of plot points that emphasized integrity and goodness. When Helsknight was up and coming, it was natural for him to take an antagonistic role to that, ousting a paragon from his throne. Now he comfortably fills the spot of Tyrant Lord, clutching his crown with godlike strength, and total disdain for those beneath him -- though he hands out rewards and favors to those who do him good, which leads to plot points where he comes in as a Deus Ex Machina for someone else's losing fight. This doubles nicely with his habit to take very real offense when his honor is threatened, and occasionally breaking script because he's pissed off about something. (The showrunners have learned if they want a long, interesting final fight, they can't write lines about Helsknight being a coward.)

Helsknight vs The Red King

As his title implies, The Red King is a leader whose main character traits involve amassing followers through might and loyalty. His Loyal Hand is the crafty underling who goes about during tournament matches "converting" likely followers to the King's cause. There have been a handful of matches where Red, either because he thinks he can rule the Colosseum better, or because it's his divine right as a king, tries to lead a revolt against Helsknight, often leading to a 1v1 between the two of them that has always ended in Red's loss.

The most recent tournament plotline, Red was given dreams of great misfortune befalling hels, the coming of a monster that would destroy the city and everything everyone holds dear! Oh no! He spends the tournament getting the greatest heroes of the Colosseum to join his cause (with help from his clever Right Hand) in stopping this calamity from falling. He approaches Helsknight once, asking for his help, but the dignified Tyrant, holding a grudge against all the attempts of the usurper, tells him to sink or swim on his own. So Red goes to face his calamity, and a wither is let onto the battlefield, with a small army of wither skeleton minions. They fight, and when the fight hits a suitable high point, Helsknight comes striding in, begrudgingly helping because the world won't end on his watch. A tyrant can't rule rubble. When the fight is over, Red and Helsknight end as shaky allies, with Red swearing fealty to the knight so long as he continues protecting hels, the home they both share.

Helsknight vs Bratwurst

That was until MythicalSausage's hels (the guy Helsknight kicked around like a hackey sack in chapter 9) came onto the scene. He's been dominating the small show fight scene, a pretty decent midrange fighter with cool demon powers that act as a convenient third-act power up during his fights and a pretty charismatic disposition as a heel character. He got good enough to start doing trial runs in the spectacle fights as a minor character. In his second appearance, when he was supposed to challenge Helsknight and establish himself more firmly in the story canon as an ambitious antagonist, he broke script and insulted Helsknight's honor. Helsknight, predictably, broke script in retaliation and kicked his ass, instead of doing what he was supposed to do -- let the new kid get some good hits in to make the crowd happy before humbling him to set up a new story beat for the next match. The showrunners, understandably upset by the debacle, kicked Bratwurst back onto the small circuit, and set about tweaking their upcoming brackets in a way that would redeem some of Helsknight's public image.

The Current Tournament Story:

So, Helsknight, who has firmly re-established himself in the public eye as the tyrant heel, is perfectly set up to be the villain in the next arc. With some string-pulling from the Demon, the story they've crafted for the current tournament arc is that Red, upon hearing of the cruel defeat of one of the new gladiators at the hands of their "I'm trying not to be a tyrant anymore" Champion, challenges Helsknight on the grounds that their bargain was for the protection of hels, and Helsknight has gone out of his way to show that he only cares about his pride. He only fights in battles he knows he'll win (Mythical Sausage's hels) and or for his glory (swooping in to save the day at the last minute in the wither fight). To prove his claims true Red is initiating a trial by combat -- if Red wins, not only is Helsknight no longer Champion, but he is proved guilty of the sin of pride, only ever showing his face in the Colosseum to inflate his own ego. Helsknight accepts the challenge, so sure not only of his own skill, but that he's held his end of their pact, that he will not only face Red, but also his beloved Hand in battle. All who wish to fight in the name of the Champion's glory may do so, and all who wish to dispute his honor may join Red. Thus the sides are cast, and the tournament begins. Any gladiator fighting on Helsknight's behalf will be given a red cloak and plume (if wearing a helmet). Any gladiator fighting on Red's behalf will wear the Dogwarts red-and-white, with a white plume if helmeted. In between the matches, depending on who wins or loses, Helsknight and Red get to do banter, while Martyn connives on the sidelines, giving his teams a hand with weapons and armor. No matter who wins or loses, the final fight is between Helsknight, the Red King, and his Loyal Right Hand.

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Main Story: Part 4 - Act 15: PAINFUL RE:BAKE - Episode 1: Picaresque, Again

Ali Baba: “Alright, let’s go, we’re setting off on our search for the legendary phantom Oasis!”

[Applause]

-

Tenma: Thank you very much!

Yuki: Thank you very much.

Muku: Thank you very much!!

Misumi: Thanks, everyone~!!

Kazunari: Thanks for watching~!

Kumon: Thanks~!!

[Applause]

Banri: …

Banri: (... Man, you guys really are awesome.)

Banri: (Us Autumn Troupe are up next.)

-

Banri: …

Izumi: There you are, Banri-kun.

Izumi: Good work on the final day. You did a lot as the assistant director.

Banri: You too, Director-chan.

Izumi: Following the Spring Troupe, a lot happened with the Summer Troupe too…

Banri: And thanks to that, putting a schedule together was crazy work.

Izumi: Just as you gained more experience by working as an assistant director, the Summer Troupe also gained experience in their own ways. And because of that, they were able to take on those “challenges”.

Banri: If all this had happened during the debut performance, they wouldn’t have made it in time.  All of ‘em took on challenges and successfully returned with more experience under their belts.

Izumi: And next is the Autumn Troupe’s turn.

Banri: Yeah.

Banri: … Whenever I do work as an assistant director, I get a rough idea of what the first day of performances is gonna look like.

Banri: But, both Spring and Summer… Their performances kept me on my toes in ways the rehearsals hadn’t, from their first days to the last.

Banri: They leveled up a bunch for the Fleur Award.

Banri: Though standin’ on MANKAI Theater’s stage might also have something to do with it…

Banri: They’ve all grown beyond recognition as actors, and gave meaning to performin’ a continuation of their debut shows.

Izumi: Right… I think these sequels have been more meaningful to the members than I expected them to be.

Banri: Seeing the Summer Troupe, who are usually as chummy as puppies, “challenge” themselves towards their different dreams was also inspirin’.

Banri: Muku and Kumon gritted their teeth through that ruthless workshop, too.

Izumi: Is it lighting a fire in you, Banri-kun? From their Leader to their very last member, the Autumn Troupe is made up of people that hate losing, isn’t it?

Banri: Yeah. We’ll make sure to improve so we don’t lose to Spring and Summer. I’m sure they’re all thinkin’ the same thing too.

Izumi: Right.

Tsuzuru: Ugh, I’m thankful for Arisugawa-san’s praises for my scripts, but I could do without his drunk crying…

Banri: Heya.

Izumi: Come in.

Tsuzuru: Are you having a directors’ meeting?

Banri: Pretty much.

Tsuzuru: Good timing, I was lookin’ for you two. I’ve finished the script for the Autumn Troupe’s sequel–

Izumi: Already!?

Banri: Ain’t this the fastest you’ve ever been?

Tsuzuru: It’d already been decided we’d be doing a sequel to Picaresque, so I’ve been planning it for some time now…

Tsuzuru: And no one had any requests other than keeping the action fast-paced, so gettin’ the job done was pretty smooth sailing.

Tsuzuru: You all said the most in-character thing for Picaresque’s cast would be to live life as they please, so…

Banri: Still, this is too quick. We’ve got a bunch of time till performances start.

Tsuzuru: I wanted to get to Picaresque’s continuation as soon as possible, too.

Tsuzuru: I was curious myself about what everyone from the debut performance would be up to.

Izumi: A lot happened in the debut performance, after all.

Tsuzuru: Back then, I was allowed to watch the Autumn Troupe’s rehearsals right after they formed, and came up with the script based on that.

Izumi: Right.

Tsuzuru: You told me to give not only Banri, who was decided as the leader, but also Juza, a big role and it turned into a buddy play…

Izumi: I also told you that putting Juza-kun, who was most passionate about theater, on center stage might trigger a change.

Tsuzuru: And when it was all said and done… Juza’s growth lit a burning passion in everyone in the Autumn Troupe

Tsuzuru: I was affected by how much you believe in your actors, and how you place your trust in them, and realized, as a scriptwriter, how significant it is to entrust their roles to the actors themselves.

Banri: Damn, all that was going on behind my back?

Banri: When we started out, Hyodo was pretty much an amateur. Havin’ him carry all that responsibility… You guys are insane.

Banri: Geez, Director-chan, you’re so…

Tsuzuru: … But that’s what you’d expect of her.

Banri: Yeah. That’s just who she is.

Izumi: Back then, this troupe had nothing but the members who had just joined. No achievements, or anything else like that…

Izumi: That’s why all I could do was put my faith in you guys. And you’ve come this far, so all’s well that ends well!

Izumi: I don’t think my way of doing things has changed any.

Izumi: First thing I do is watch over the actors. What kind of feelings do they put in their practice sessions and performances?

Izumi: I believe doing everything I can to understand them is the most important thing.

Banri: That hits the nail on its head. I seriously don’t think I’ll ever have you beat in this complete faith you’ve got goin’ on.

Tsuzuru: Making Banri admit defeat’s a real feat.

Izumi: I feel like this just gave me bragging rights.

Banri: ‘lright, you’ll keep a real close eye on us Autumn Troupe too, won’t cha?

Izumi: Of course we will.

Tsuzuru: Leave it to us.

Banri: Yeah.

Banri: (... “Picaresque Returns”.)

Banri: (Back then, I felt a thrill I had never felt before in my life.  And now, just like in the debut performance… I get to live in Picaresque’s world.)

Banri: (I’ll give the scripts to everyone tomorrow. We’ve still got a bunch of time left, so I’ll set up a practice schedule, and…)

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[lanawinterscigarettes]

What Dies Doesn't Always Stay Buried (Missy/Gomez! Master x reader x Thirteenth Doctor)

Summary: you left your home to travel with the Doctor after the loss of Missy, but what happens when she comes back?

Warnings: implications of the reader going through the different stages of grief, references to overdrinking, mild swearing, starts sad but ends happy, the beginnings of a surprisingly healthy poly relationship between Missy, reader and the Doctor, suggestive comment made by Missy near the end

A/N: is this an incredibly niche pairing that I wrote for? yes. but I can't get the thoughts I have of Missy x 13 out of my mind, so I can't be bothered to apologize for it. I just sort of spilled out a bunch of nonsense onto my keyboard so the plot, storyline, ending, literally any of it might be garbage, but eh. most people probably aren't going to see this anyway, and if I cared that much I wouldn't be posting it in the first place

Everything felt dull and gray after you lost Missy. It was like nothing you did mattered anymore. You started acting reckless and stopped caring about the consequences of your actions. Not that you thought about them too much before, but at least then you had Missy to enjoy the chaos with. Not anymore.

You honestly didn't think there was anything or anyone that could ever make you feel happy again. Until the Doctor showed back up and did just that. Out of all the people you thought could possibly make you feel better, never in a million years would you have ever expected it to be them.

They found you wasted in some shady bar on a planet you'd crashed Missy's TARDIS on, drunkenly trying to pick a fight with an alien who was much bigger than you. After paying your tab and apologizing profusely to both the bartender and several of the patrons, they dragged you outside and propped you up against the wall of the bar's alleyway.

"What the hell were you thinking? What are you trying to do, get yourself killed?" Something about this random stranger seemed awfully familiar, but considering you were utterly wasted it was difficult for you to recognize them for who they were.

"Look here, blondie," you slurred in annoyance, shooting them an unimpressed glare. "Who are you-" you jabbed your finger at their chest to emphasize your point "-to tell me what to do?"

The stranger scoffed and rolled their eyes at your rude behavior. "I'm the Doctor, obviously." She looked down at her frame before adding in a mutter under her breath, "though I suppose I do appear a bit different than last time."

Your eyes widened almost comically at her words as you finally put two and two together. "Oh, hey, I know you-" You went to give her a friendly pat on the arm but instead toppled forward, landing against her.

She let out a soft "oof" as she caught you, sighing as she realized just how out of it you appeared to be. "Alright, that's it. I'm taking you with me."

"Wha- hey, no, you can't just take me in like I'm a stray dog," you protested as she took you by the arm and helped you to her TARDIS, doing just that.

You didn't remember much more from that night other than waking up with a killer hangover, but since then you'd been staying with the Doctor and accompanying her on her travels. She gave you the option to go back home, bringing it up several times in fact, but each time you refused.

Missy was gone, meaning you had no home to go back to. And while you never told her the real reason why you didn't want to leave, you were sure The Doctor knew.

At first you wanted nothing to do with her, refusing to leave your room. Eventually that grew boring, and you found yourself reluctantly making conversation with the Doctor whenever you bumped into her on your mindless walks through the seemingly never ending halls of the TARDIS.

It brought you peace, as they reminded you of the ones that Missy had in hers. You'd sit there on the floor, staring at the ceiling as you wallowed in your grief until either the Doctor found you or you fell asleep.

You wanted to stay soaking in your ceaseless pain forever, feeling guilty anytime you found it in you to smile or laugh. Especially whenever it was caused by the sonic screwdriver wielding blonde.

It felt like betrayal, to be able to find happiness and peace with your former love's best enemy. But after everything you'd been through, you couldn't help it.

You knew you'd cling to the next person you formed a connection with after Missy's death, regardless of who it was. And even though you tried to keep your distance, tried to brush off your feelings as the misplaced love you still had for Missy, it was more than that. Much more.

The feelings you grew for the Doctor weren't shallow or fake, they were very much real. After being alone and miserable for so long, you were able to get rid of your grief and let it all go, finally accepting that you were happy.

You and the Doctor were in love, and even though you still cared for Missy you were finally able to accept her being gone. Until all hell broke loose when the one thing you never expected would happen did- she came back.

The Doctor had taken you on one of her standard 'let's land on this random planet and see what comes of it' trips. The two of you were walking hand in hand through the ruins of some ancient civilization, stopping occasionally to study the crumbling architecture.

You listened as she happily rambled on about the city's people and what inevitably caused their downfall, smiling to yourself at her childlike nature. As you glanced around the room that she'd told you was once used as a temple of sorts, your eyes caught a small compact mirror that lay on the ground.

Letting go of her hand, you knelt down and carefully picked it up. It was much too modern looking and not nearly damaged enough to have come from this time period. "Hey, Doc, what's this?"

She stopped mid sentence and moved to crouch down next to you, carefully taking the compact mirror from you. "I'm not exactly sure." She admitted as she turned it over in her hands, studying it closely. "Obviously it's a mirror of sorts, but it doesn't appear to be from this time period, or, hell, even this planet."

Before you could respond, a silky voice cut through the room, one that didn't belong to either of you. "That would mine. I must've dropped it, silly me."

Both of your heads snapped up immediately, the Doctor's eyes narrowing in suspicion as yours widened in shock. You couldn't believe who it was. There was just no way. It was impossible. It couldn't be her.

"Who is it?" The Doctor asked cautiously as she stood, carefully pulling you off the ground with her. You wanted to say something to reassure her, but your words seemed to fail you. There was so much that you had to say, and yet when you went to speak, nothing came out.

An amused chuckle came from the same shadowy area that the voice had. "Oh, Doctor, surely you haven't forgotten me already." The person to which the voice belonged stepped forward, moving out of the shadows and in toward the light.

Your previous suspicions were confirmed almost instantly, your jaw dropping as you took in the sight of the woman before you. It was Missy, just like you'd thought.

Her hair was down and looked curly from being unbrushed, she was lacking any makeup, and her clothes looked like she stole them from the previous Master, but it was definitely her. If you hadn't known her so well, you might not've been able to recognize her at first, but you figured that was possibly done by her on purpose.

"Missy," you breathed her name out, your hand instinctively reaching out for her. She smiled at you softly, moving her own hand out to take yours as she took a few steps closer.

"Hello, dear." Her eyes traveled along the features of your face slowly, as if she was trying to take you in. "I take it you missed me."

She flickered her gaze from you over to where the Doctor stood. She hadn't spoken once since the dramatic reveal, uncharacteristic for her as she usually could never shut up. "What's the matter? Didn't expect to see me again so soon, now did you?" Missy asked proudly, seeming quite smug.

Instead of speaking, the Doctor just continued to stand there for a moment before lunging forward and pulling Missy in for a bone crushing hug. You're not entirely sure what was said, but it sounded a lot like the Doctor muttered "I missed you", followed by a soft apology.

Both you and Missy were speechless. Neither of you had been expecting this tender display of affection to come from her. Anger, maybe, sure. Sorrow, even, you might've thought. But not this.

You watched in awe as Missy hesitantly used her free hand to pat the Doctor's back, her proud demeanor softening as she melted into the hug. After a few moments, you felt her tug on your hand gently as a subtle invitation to join the two.

That was all it took. You moved over to them, wrapping your arms around the two loves of your life as you let out a quiet sigh of content. Part of you had been worried that the Doctor would try to keep you away from Missy as a means to protect you, so you were relieved to see that didn't seem to be the case.

"I love you." Your soft voice cut through the comfortable silence, causing the four heartbeats belonging to the two Time Ladies in front of you to quicken. "Both of you."

"Ah, well, I love you, too," the Doctor replied somewhat awkwardly, as you'd never said that to her before.

Missy let out an amused giggle before speaking, having already heard this sentiment coming from you before numerous times. "So do I. I couldn't stop loving you if I tried."

It didn't slip past you how she seemed to be addressing both you and the Doctor, and judging by how the blonde's cheeks flushed it apparently hadn't gone unnoticed by her either.

"That's- that's great, then." She stammered out nervously, avoiding looking Missy directly in the eyes. "Let's head back to the TARDIS, then, shall we? I'm sure Missy must want to change into something that's more her style."

"Yes, let's. And if you're lucky, I just might let you help me out of the clothes I'm wearing." Missy added in a low purr, something that made you grin in delight while the Doctor's face turned redder still. It was nice to know that even in this new dynamic involving the three of you, some things hadn't changed.

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[blue-rose-soul]

Your last Devil’s Bastards post was so juicy! I’d never heard about heaven’s people having amnesia.

Now I can’t stop thinking about a pre-reveal scenario in which Nicaise somehow goes to visit the hotel and while she doesn’t recognize anyone, Alastor and Lucifer sure recognize her.

Hey, it could happen! I did set the stage for Nicaise to potentially become a fallen angel, no second death required.

Let's say it happens at some point after the thwarted extermination. Neither Lucifer nor Alastor know yet, but Alastor has some suspicions. When Nicaise is ejected from Heaven for revealing the exterminations to the public, encouraging people to go against Heaven's rules, and questioning the Seraphim, and then refusing to repent, she remembers Charlie Morningstar's hotel and heads there straight away.

Charlie's happy to see her again. Both Lucifer and Alastor are in shock, but since Alastor's perma-smile is still in place no one really notices his reaction. They're all a little wrapped up in the story Nicaise is telling them about how she ended up getting ejected from Heaven. Of course Charlie happily welcomes her into the hotel, and Vaggie's actually happy to have yet another fallen angel among them, to hear that Heaven may actually be reforming from within.

Then Lucifer steps forward and reintroduces himself. Everyone's more than a little surprised to learn that Lucifer and Nicaise have met before. Lucifer explains that whence upon a time he snuck out of Hell just for a little while to actually see Earth, and wound up lost in the middle of New Orleans during the Rex parade. Nicaise doesn't remember the event, so he tells her about how she saved him from being lost and basically acted as his guide throughout the celebration. They both got pretty wasted and he woke up the next morning passed out on top of somebody's rooftop, presumably from attempting to fly home while drunk. Everyone's laughing and having a good time as he recounts the story.

Alastor says nothing.

As Nicaise settles into the hotel crew and helps Charlie with her redemption project, Alastor initially tries to keep his distance, but over time everyone notices that Alastor is different with her. It's not too strange at first. He's always gotten along better with women than with men. But this is different. He almost has an air of respect with her, and he doesn't even respect the King of Hell! He's gentle, he never teases or intentionally scares her, though it turns out Nicaise has a bit of a prankster side of her own and thinks its funny when he spooks other hotel residents. He doesn't hide the fact that he's a serial murderer, or that he's a cannibal, but he does tone down the bloodthirstiness in her presence. His smile is more genuine around her.

Bit by bit, certain things come out about Alastor, more in the few short weeks Nicaise has been with them than anyone's learned in the 6+ months of living with Alastor. Things he and Nicaise share in common. They both grew up in New Orleans, they like to use venison in their jambalaya, play several of the same instruments, have the same taste in liquor, hate tea. They even died within a couple decades of one another. Nicaise wonders if they might have even met one another while alive. Alastor only says he supposes it's possible.

Lucifer, for his part, is delighted to reunite with an old friend. Alastor does not enjoy Lucifer enjoying her company. He compels Husk to interrupt the two of them if he ever sees them getting too 'close.' Encourages Niffty to get under Lucifer's feet. Has his shadows trip Lucifer up, or spill his drinks when he's talking with Nicaise. Lucifer knows it's all Alastor's doing and assumes Alastor's just being a shit again.

"What, you failed to steal my daughter, now you're trying to steal my vacation friend!?"

Husk is the first one to put two and two together. He doesn't figure out everything, but he knows Alastor well enough to know his interest in Nicaise isn't romantic, and to pick up on the familial similarities. He keeps his mouth shut though. The memory of what happened last time he dredged up one of Alastor's secrets still sets his fur on edge. Still, in private he lets himself chuckle over the fact that Alastor is a 'mamma's boy.'

Eventually though, other people start to pick up on Alastor's weird behavior. When Nicaise scolds him for 'picking on' Lucifer - and WOW is it weird to see Alastor letting himself be scolded - Alastor points out to her that Lucifer is a married man. That does put a bit of a damper on Lucifer's and Nicaise's interactions. They weren't intentionally flirting or anything, but Lucifer wonders if maybe he was getting a tad too comfortable. He and Lilith ARE separated (at least, according to Charlie) but he still hopes to one day reconcile with her. And now that Alastor's brought it to her attention, Charlie's starting to feel just a tad uncomfortable with Lucifer's and Nicaise's closeness as well. Just a tad though! She does want her dad to be happy, and he and Lilith are separated...

Privately, she still thinks it feels like a betrayal though.

And it's that feeling that allows Charlie to put things together, and she's a hell of a lot less subtle than Husk is.

There are people hanging out at the bar when she walks up to Alastor in the parlor and blurts out, "ALASTOR, IS NICAISE YOUR SISTER!?"

It came out a lot louder than she meant it.

Lucifer chokes on his drink.

In Charlie's defense, he and Nicaise appear to be close to the same physical age in their demon and angel forms. If anything, Nicaise might have been younger when she died than Alastor was when he died.

Alastor reassures Charlie that, no, Nicaise is not his sister.

Lucifer relaxes and starts to chug his drink to get that terrifying thought out of his head.

"She's my maman."

Lucifer chokes again.

Fortunately Nicaise isn't present for this conversation. Charlie asks why Alastor hadn't said anything before now and he explains he doesn't see any reason to. Once they get her back into Heaven, they'll never see one another again, so why burden her with the knowledge that her son grew to be a mass murderer in life and a cannibalistic Overlord in death? While he may not regret any of his actions, he knows she would be heartbroken by the revelation.

Angel Dust breaks up the sullen mood that's fallen over the room by cracking a joke that, 'the devil wants to do your mom.'

He immediately gets several sets of angry eyes on him, including beast mode Alastor, and shuts up very quickly.

[authortobenamedlater]

S2 deep dive. The whole season. Bring the scuba gear for this one.

Negatives, positives, overall impressions, speculations about a possible S3 under the cut.

This has been sitting in my drafts for way too long and even though it’s incomplete I’m posting it. I’ll have more later I’m sure I just need it out there before it becomes irrelevant.

The bad:

It’s too short. I have pontificated about short TV seasons and long waits between seasons before so I won’t revisit it.

The fall of Reach felt more like a speed bump than the single most traumatic event in the Human-Covenant War. This is probably related to the It’s Too Short problem.

This one is entirely subjective, but I am here for The Chief & Cortana Show and this season was not The Chief & Cortana Show.

Much of the unfinished business from S1 remained unfinished or was finished lazily. The Reach for Life Project and the weirdness surrounding John’s childhood? Never mentioned. Madrigal? Glassed. Separating John and Cortana? Reduced to a one-minute flashback. This isn’t to say these threads won’t get picked up down the line, but having to potentially wait another two years doesn’t appeal. Again, this goes back to It’s Too Short.

The Spartan-IIIs made little sense. And why were they capturing kids if they can use adults to make Spartans now? Are there enough left to make up a Spartan corps?

Somehow, Makee returned. This isn’t bad in itself, but it’s never explained. The closest we get is Var saying “you live only by my grace.” OK, what grace is that? Did he resurrect her? Convince the prophets to resurrect her?

Speaking of Var, why did he exist? To make way for Thel next season? Why not just have Thel from the start? Especially since deleted dialogue from S1 had that Sangheili who ran out of the cave on Madrigal named as Thel ‘Vadamee.

Jacob Keyes is dead. It’s somewhat canon, but I didn’t want it to happen. I wanted him to live and face his music.

I did not like what they did with Soren this season. The Kessler storyline got draggy. And the way Soren acted at times didn’t really seem in line with the guy in S1 who made a promise to John and kept it even though he could probably have broken it without John ever knowing. Soren also gave the impression in S1 that he didn’t want anything to do with fighting a war and just wanted to hole up on the Rubble with his family. That changed in S2 without any real reason given.

They still can’t figure out Kwan. I liked the direction they were taking her last season, but that all got blown up, literally.

The Spartan-IIIs seemed awfully rushed. We don’t know anything about them, if or how they are augmented, or what.

The good:

Halo’s cast continues to rise above the show’s shortcomings, and the crowning achievement this season is Joseph Morgan’s Ackerson. Morgan manages to make Ackerson the bad guy, but never a bad guy. You love to hate him and want him to realize he’s wrong just in time to make that last-second pivot and then he does.

Laera might not be back for S3 (although hey, somehow Makee returned), but she got some great material this year.

For all its flaws, Halo does have a way of sticking the landing and the final episode of this season delivers. The introduction of the Flood was about as great as I could have asked for. That scene where the no-name bit part gets infected and the ironically happy music is playing while everyone goes about their business? Appropriately horrifying.

I liked Talia’s progression from jumpy regular Marine to confident Spartan-III, even if the show didn’t have enough time to do it well.

Makee and John continue to have a fascinating dynamic.

The back and forth with John and Guilty Spark (I assume) in the last episode was excellent and did a fine job setting the stage for season 3.

The big question: Will we get a third season?

Nothing is guaranteed in the era of streaming shows, but Halo has been P+’s most watched show since it launched. It’s been the third most watched original show in the US across all streaming platforms this year. Basically, no matter how terrible the show is sometimes or how much fan hate it gets, Halo is making money. I can’t see it not getting renewed. If Halo didn’t get renewed, another network might want it, or P+ might do a spinoff (thoughts on that at a later date).

[loverlylight]

More Cinderella's Castle thoughts!

-Everyone was perfectly cast, like they're all amazing and versatile actors so no matter what roles each of them played it would have been awesome, but everyone's roles felt somewhat catered for them in particular, if that makes sense? Which I'm sure is somewhat the case, but I disgress.

-Jeff brought such a fun chaotic energy to The Narrator, it was wonderful to watch. The makeup and outfit was also splendid, and there was this impish physicality as well, he was just so much fun.

-I loved the band being named and mentioned in universe! So much fun, and we were all cheering so much whenever they'd come on stage. Obviously because everyone is grateful to Matt for the creation of Pulp Musicals, of course.

-...speaking of, it really was odd watching Putrice, Tadius, and the Prince interact on stage given that my brain has been at least 85% Pulp for the last half a year

-I was fortunate enough to be able to sit front row, center stage. For most of the play this was absolutely amazing, getting to see the actors so close and seeing the intricacies of their facial expressions, the costume, set design, all those wonderful details that can fade into the background if you're too far away. ...the downside is that at the part of act 2 when the Prince turned around to reveal the sparkly purple codpeice it was, like, just a few yards away from me. Pretty sure I audibly said "oh God" and buried my face in my hands.

-I really like Tadius and Ella's friendship! I especially love how they handled the hints of romance, particularly how nothing happens in the show. There are hints that something might happen between them if they decide to explore that in the future, hints that Tadius has some form of feelings for her, but canonically they're just friends and have a good, solid friendship that feels very organic.

-Crumb was adorable at all times, but I especially love when Joey was no longer in control of the puppet and just reacting, it was hilarious~

-I ship Ella with Tadius, Lucy, Justine, AND the Fairy Queen of Sweet Dreams

-Ella was so freaking badass, like... AUGH I love her so much!

-I honestly kinda ship Rancilda/The Prince. They had fun chemistry, especially with the "blowjob joke" bit.

-Like EVERY line the Prince had was sexual, it was impressive but it also started to blend together after a while.

-For a moment there I honestly thought we might have a bad guys win situation, they did a really good job of leaving things so it felt like there really is no way back from this.

-Ella's outfits were so amazing! The multi-colored dress and the one from the end especially, just... oh my god I am such a lesbian you guys.

-I love how the entire theatre loved the bits where Tadius talked about going against the royal family. I love him so much <3

-I also love how the theatre went nuts at the "let's go" before the final song, there was just so much energy in that room and it was amazing.

-The music in general was just... DAMN. Don't get me wrong, I loved the demos, but I can't wait to hear the final versions again when the digital ticket comes out because they all sounded so amazing.

-Looking forwards to the digital ticket in general, like... being there, seeing it live, it was such a precious and amazing experience that I'll treasure. But I'm also looking forward to being able to watch the whole show again, both with renting the digital ticket and when the pro-shot comes out!

-The 2023 performance of VHSCC is still my favorite Starkid production ever, I don't know what if anything could top it (PLEASE re-release the digital ticket or put it up for permanent purchase or on Youtube, PLEASE), but while I know the fact that this is the most recent show and the only one I got to see live is coloring things, Cinderella's Castle is definitely one of their top musicals in my opinion. Currently it's at the number 2 spot, and while it's possible things might shift once the initial excitement wears off, I can't see it dropping much lower-- certainly not below the top 5.

-I almost certainly have even more thoughts I should try and get down while the experience in relatively fresh but I'm gonna have a long shift tomorrow and I'm Sleepy. Goodnight!

[archiveikemen]

Liam Evans Main Story: Chapter 21 (Blind Love)

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.

read this before interacting with my posts

Liam: I don't ever want to disappear before your eyes again.

There was a passionate look in his rose coloured eyes as he gazed at me, and I was so mesmerised that I forgot how to breathe.

We’ve exchanged glances like this many times, but somehow that felt like it was the first time.

The slight change made my heart go crazy.

It made me want to embrace the change.

Liam: Hey, Kate.

Liam: I couldn’t take your hand back then. However—

Liam: However…

While his face contorted as he tried to force out the words that were caught in his throat, I shook my head.

Kate: You don’t have to force yourself to say something. You can tell me when you're ready to.

Liam: … Okay.

Liam: Thanks… Kate.

Kate: You’re welcome?

Liam: Ahaha, why did that sound like a question?

Kate: Fufu, I wonder.

When we looked at each other and burst into laughter, I realised that it had been a while since we last laughed together.

The tiny change that might seem insignificant to others was so precious to me that it caused a yearning feeling in my heart.

…

The next day, Liam and I headed for The Scala.

It was to put into action the plan William proposed, and—

As usual, all the troupe members were present at The Scala, practising their vocalisations and rehearsing for the play.

Tom’s eyes met Liam’s while he was mixing around with the troupe members and earnestly guiding them.

Tom: … Li… Liam.

Liam: … Tom.

Liam: … Tom… I… you...

Before Liam could explain himself, Tom ran up to him and threw his arms around him.

Tom: You don’t have to say anything. … You’re here now, and that’s all that matters to me.

(Tom must have so many questions he wants to ask Liam, but his happiness from seeing him has surpassed them.)

Liam: … I’m sorry. And, thank you.

Troupe Member: Uwa, Tom and Liam are flirting with each other again!

Troupe Member 2: Are you okay with that, Kate? He’s being unfaithful, he’s a cheater!

We smiled at each other as the troupe members watched and teased us.

Liam: Anyway, Tom, I have something to discuss with you— I mean, with everyone here at The Scala.

Tom: Judging from the look on your face, it must be something as important as a love confession.

Tom: OK, I’ll have everyone gather.

When Tom called out to them, everyone gathered around Liam and I.

(Everyone at The Scala should never know about me being a fairytale writer and the existence of Crown.)

Anyone who found out about that secret would have only one possible fate awaiting them — being silenced.

When I thought about it, I knew that the plan would be anything but calm, and I could get a sense of the lengths William would go to.

It seemed that Liam was thinking the same thing, and he spoke with an even more serious look on his face.

Liam: Long story short — there is a message I want to send to all of England, through the use of this play.

Liam briefly explained that a dangerous organisation in England by the name of “Golden Butterfly” that had once been annihilated was showing signs of reviving its activities.

Due to the identity of the mastermind behind its revival being unknown, the plan was to make use of theatre to convey the message “stop the revival”.

(It might not sound very convincing because he left out some pieces of information to avoid putting everyone at risk.)

Liam: I can’t reveal the reason why I want to destroy that organisation. … I’m sorry.

Liam: But I know for sure that if we leave them as they are, more people will be hurt.

Liam: Therefore, I hope that all of you will agree to help me…

Kate: … I, too, would like to ask the same of everyone.

Tom: …

Tom: Lift your heads, Kate and Liam. The answer to your request for help is YES.

Kate • Liam: …!

Tom: What does the art of stage acting exist for? It exists for the people.

Tom: We believe that theatre has the miraculous ability to move the hearts of people. Is that right, all of you?

The eyes of the troupe members around us were filled with passion, hope, and trust.

Tom: It’s time for The Scala to come together and destroy that wicked organisation…!

Entire Troupe: Woooo…!

Troupe Member 1: Don’t we look like heroes standing up for justice?

Troupe Member 2: Yes, yes. I’m getting all pumped up!

Liam: Oh—... uhm.

It was rather funny to see Liam being the only one standing there awkwardly amidst everyone being excited and calling the plan “justice”.

Tom: Moreover…

Tom: This is the first time you’ve ever asked us for a favour. Therefore, we’ll do everything possible to help you!

Liam: … —anks.

Liam’s soft “thanks” reached my ears as I stood next to him.

Bianca: Men! It’s nice to get excited, but we should at least decide on the play first!

Bianca: Right, Kate?

Kate: Fufu, you’re right.

Tom: I’ll write a script that will include the existence of “Golden Butterfly” in the story and will make the crowd go wild.

Tom: Word won’t spread all over England if the story is boring, right?

Liam: In that case, how about “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”?

I recalled the time Tom had previously explained to us what he wanted The Scala to play.

"The story is set in 15th Century Paris. At the Notre Dame Cathedral, there was a man named Quasimodo.

Quasimodo spent his days alone at the top of the tall tower ringing the bells, never knowing what the outside world was like.

One day, he met a beautiful dancer named Esmeralda and fell in love with her."

Liam: I’ve read the original, and I thought “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” was a story about battles.

Liam: Battles against fate and things that hurt oneself. … I don’t know how to phrase this better, but I just think that this story is perfect for our current situation.

(Everything Liam just said are truths. They’re all precious things that I treasure.)

(However, Liam’s tone… it sounds different from before.)

He was definitely saying those things out of his own will, and it moved the hearts of everyone present and mine as well.

The gentle warmth melted the ice.

Everyone present nodded in agreement.

Tom: Then it’s decided, The Scala’s next production will be “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”. So, Liam—

Tom: I still want you to play the role of Quasimodo, the main character. Will you accept the role?

Liam: …

Liam: What do you think, Kate?

There was a hint of fear in those eyes in front of me, but the old dangerous tendency to invalidate one's own will in order to satisfy others was no longer there.

Kate: What do YOU want to do, Liam?

Liam: I…

Liam: What do /I/ want to do, huh?

Fearful of taking the first step, Liam’s lips trembled.

Liam: I want to play the role of Quasimodo. I’ll do my very best, so please let me do it.

Tom: … Of course.

Tom: Now that it’s been decided, I shall make the necessary changes to the script! There’s the stage setting to take care of as well. Things will get very busy from now on.

Liam: Ahaha, that’s right.

…

We worked days and nights to prepare for the performance of “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”.

During that period of time, we received some unexpected help—

Troupe Member: Kate, Liam, over here!

(Huh…?)

The members of the theatrical troupe were holding more lavish packed lunches than their arms could carry.

Troupe Member: It was delivered to us without prior notice, but the sender didn’t leave a name. We only have this message card.

Liam: …?

“To my beloved Liam and Kate.

I made these myself, so please enjoy them with everyone there.

Wishing you all the best for your performance.”

Kate • Liam: … It’s Victor.

Troupe Member: I was about to throw them away because they could be a bad prank, but they looked too delicious…

Liam: Pfft, ahaha. A prank?

Liam: This is from a very passionate fan of mine and Kate’s. All of you can be rest assured and eat up.

< timeskip >

Troupe Member: I need to put this curtain up, but I can’t reach that height. Does anyone have a ladder—

Ellis: … You want to put this up? Alright, let me help you.

Troupe Member: Huh…?

Ellis unexpectedly dropped by the theatre to help out and was able to get much of the work done easily with his amazing agility.

Bianca: Liam. You sure have a few rather… unusual friends.

Liam: Mm, that’s true.

Ellis: Kate, Liam, is there anything else that needs to be done?

Kate: Oh, in that case—

(... Everyone is doing what they can to help out.)

Every time, Liam would smile, a little bewildered, but he was genuinely happy.

He savoured every subtle act of kindness like each one of them was a miracle.

(... I’ve been by Liam’s side for quite a while, but this is the first time I’m seeing this side of him.)

I didn’t want to miss out on any changes that could possibly be happening in Liam’s heart.

My gaze was naturally drawn to him, like a butterfly attracted to a flower.

When we were almost done with the preparations for the play, an unexpected “guest” came to the theatre for Liam.

Liam: … Harry.

Kate: Huh?

We went up to the second floor of the theatre and saw Harrison leaning against a wall, staring at the stage.

Harrison: Haha, you’re too quick to notice. I intended to keep watching for a little more before calling out to you.

Harrison: Looks like all of you have been working and rehearsing hard. Good work.

Kate: By any chance, are you here to help?

Harrison: No way, I’m not such a kind person.

Harrison: Now, I did something else instead.

He looked at us as we cocked our heads in puzzlement, and narrowed his mint coloured eyes that could see through lies.

Harrison: There’s a limit to the amount of people you can convey your message to, if you rely solely on your performance.

Harrison: That means that your message might not reach the initiator of the revival of “Golden Butterfly”, who could be somewhere else in England.

(Um, so that means—)

Kate: In order to spread this one drop of poison throughout England, we need to make it a popular topic for conversation…?

Harrison: Yeah, exactly.

Harrison pulled a letter out of his pocket and waved it at us.

Kate: An invitation to the play?

Harrison: I made a request to an acquaintance in the publication industry to invite journalists from newspaper publishers and magazines to the play.

Harrison: If they enjoy the play, they’ll publish huge articles about it.

Harrison: Ah, and of course this invitation is real. I spoke to Tom Crawford, and he gave me this seat.

Liam: Could it be that…

Liam: You’ve been working behind the scenes?

Harrison: This is one of my missions. All I did was get my job done.

Harrison: If the performance is of poor quality, our plan will be a failure. Do your best.

Liam: … Thanks, Harry.

Harrison: Yeah. Oh, and one more thing.

Harrison: Your father, Max Evans, was given an invitation too.

[xantissa]

I was talking to some new friends recently and realized a lot of them were never taught how to manage painful/extremely painful periods.

The fact you should see a doctor if you routinely have super painful periods is a given, but in all my years of having periods so painful I would pass out multiple times a day from pain, no doctor ever told me any useful tips on how to live through them so here are the tidbits I have learned through experience and research:

1) pain management - if you know your periods are freaking painful do not wait for the pain to start. That's too late! Start the painkiller routine a day before if you can manage or at the very first sign of it. Start it and keep it! Check how long your preferred painkiller works and set a strict schedule of taking it. If you do it you will not let the pain get into the horrid stage. Basically do the same thing people with chronic pain do for pain management only your will last probably a week or so.

2) anti histamines- if you feel super bloated, sometimes to the point that it feels like your insides can't fit in your belly anymore? That's not an illusion. It's ACTUALLY what's happening. For some reason during periods our bodies start a fierce histamine reaction- histamine causes swelling of internal tissues and then yes, they kinda don't fit anymore. Act like you are having an allergic reaction and do an anti histamine routine for 2-3 days. Again, the meds have to be taken regularly to keep a proper level of meds in the system. Just taking one when you feel the worst won't really do anything.

3) electrolytes- if your periods are painful you are probably bleeding like a stuck pig. That's a hell of a lot of electrolytes just going down the drain. Literally even. Buy some of those dissolvable electrolytes and always have them at home. Drink some when bleeding, they will help with the dizziness, nausea and feeling of weakness.

Remember we drink electrolytes to avoid a risk of Heart Attack! It's not a new fanged health tip. The less electrolytes we have in the bloodstream the more risk of our heart going high wire especially when our bodies are under such tremendous stress.

4) no heat! - it may feel good for some, but heat will increase your bleeding and make the internal swelling worse. The heavier the bleed the less heat. Worst case scenarios I have known people who landed themselves in hospital by using heat packs when having a super heavy bleeding.

5) muscle relaxants - best effect for period pain are combo meds that contain muscle relaxants and painkillers. However what you might not know is that muscle relaxants lower your blood pressure, which already might be low because of the period. Try to keep an eye out on them and if it starts falling beyond your usual values beware. Look into changing your meds too, because you are probably reacting too strongly to the relaxant.

6) food - try to eat, even though you probably don't want to even think about it due to pain. Something easily digestible and caloric so that you can eat very little. You are bleeding like a victim of attempted murder. It's a huge strain on your body, give it some fuel in small dozes. Even a piece of chocolate is better than nothing.

7) rest as much as you can, don't try to force yourself to do everything as usual. There's no shame in it and your body really needs it.

I know finding a good doctor is pretty much as easy as finding a unicorn but never stop trying and by god, if it's at all possible, get the transvaginal ultrasound once a year. It may save your life.

[unholyverse]

waterparks // rock sound awards 2021

(full text under the cut)

WATERPARKS

CLASS OF 2021 ARTIST OF THE YEAR

WORDS: JAMES WILSON-TAYLOR PHOTOS: JAWN ROCHA

Another album, another lap around the world…another year that very much felt like it belonged to Waterparks. Their exponential growth continued this year with a new label deal and their latest and absolutely greatest record.

They began 2021 in isolation putting the finishing touches to 'Greatest Hits', and end it off the back of a triumphant, huge North American tour, by way of big, big festival slots and the realisation of more ideas than even they might have thought possible.

Here, Awsten Knight looks back on the journey he and his bandmates Geoff Wigington and Otto Wood have been on over the past 12 months, and faces towards the future.

How has your 2021 been, Awsten? It seems like a lot of bands have understandably found this year to be way more productive than last…

"It's better, but it's been equally productive. In 2020 I still made over 100 songs. Still recorded all of 'Greatest Hits'—it was pretty much done by January—made the DVD, 'FANDOM: LIVE IN THE UK'… that took like, five or six months. Yeah, 2020 was still super productive and then obviously this year…album release, making a million more videos, playing shows. That's why I say it's equal."

Was there any transitional period for you, or were you just straight into work mode?

"It never stopped. And I'm not saying this is necessarily a good thing, but I just can't stop working. It's very hard for me to stop. Sometimes I actively try to just because, but I feel like I just operate better if I'm working on things. The thing is, at least if we are out doing shows, I'm not writing songs because of it. But last year I didn't have an excuse."

'Greatest Hits' was of course released this year. You've talked before about wanting to better yourself with each album, but what's interesting is it feels like the leaps between each record are now getting bigger too…

"I'm very about smooth transitions between stylistic stages. It feels very inorganic if somebody has screamo, alternative rock and then they try and go full pop. It's like you didn't do it naturally, so it feels disingenuous. I also think that I was more impatient being stuck at home. And on top of that, since I had more time to create and just make weird sounds and demo things out, I got to learn a lot and hit a lot of things that I wouldn't have necessarily found so soon. So I think it's a combination of those things. This gave a lot of time for me to find the most weird, left of centre, out of pocket stuff. I can't tell you how many Halloween sounds I went through making 'See You In The Future'. Sorry, 'See You In In The Future."

It's funny hearing you talk about acts earning that change in sound. It's like you are world-building but it's about the musical sounds rather than characters or stories…

"Yeah, and wanting to make as many different styles as you can. Because when it stops being fun or fresh or exciting, I don't wanna do it. Touring itself is very fun and rewarding, but it can also get monotonous. So if you are not pushing the boundaries everywhere you can, whether its sonically or show production or whatever… I mean, you see how easily I get distracted. I won't want to do it if it's not fun. You know who has got the best transition between that I think I've ever seen? Like, as far as musical styles go as a band? Bring Me The Horizon. I know where they started and watching them go to 'That's The Spirit' and even the stuff they are putting out right now… it changes style-wise so much. Not only is it consistent, but it changes and I think thats awesome. Not a lot of bands are willing to do that in case it feels like they are putting on somebody else's clothes. But they've done it in a very smooth way."

"WHEN IT STOPS BEING FUN OR FRESH OR EXCITING, I DON'T WANNA DO IT"

"I THINK BEING ALONE ALL THE TIME MADE ME WANT TO COLLABORATE MORE…"

Was there anything specific on 'FANDOM' that you wanted to improve on or push further this time around?

"I don't wanna compare songs especially because if you compare old things to new things, just because of how nostalgia works, it'll never compare until more time has gone by. But if I can sit down and look at 'Numb' vs 'Watch What Happens Next… They're both cool, they both have interesting pre-choruses in very different ways. One of them is more drawly, very minimal and then the other is a little hip-hoppy but more in a Beastie Boys kind of way. Then that outro is from hell, just crazy. I love the vocal patterns in it, in the b-section. And then I'll look at 'Watch What Happens Next' and compare those patterns. I look at things like that. What stuff got added in that's special? What are the special elements that aren't just guitar, bass, drums? I compare stuff like that a lot. Some songs are written where it's like, 'This one will have a pit'. Some songs it's like, 'This is for people who don't even fuck with us, but it has such a groove'. Or, 'This one is a dark 'Life Of Pablo'-type production that's dark and evil but expensive-sounding'. There's just certain things I wanted to accomplish and especially at that time, during recording, being stuck at home, I needed to do what's going to make me feel fulfilled right now."

You seem to be in a very collaborative mood too with the guests on the album and then things outside the album like the track you did with DE'WAYNE. Is that collaborative spirit something you are becoming more open to?

"Yes, definitely. I think being alone all the time made me want to collaborate more. And then also I feel like, and I hope this comes off okay… as good as I feel like I am at writing and production and finding creative ways to do things, I know that other people are so much better than me at other things. I don't wanna be the fucking best in the room at everything, because then why am I in this room? When I gave 'Crying Over It All' to Zeph, I didn't give very much instruction. I was like, 'Just add harmonies, do your thing, pretty freeform, just go for it'. Because when I listen to her stuff, she'd always send me demos or even on her Instagram stories she'll post the acapellas of stuff she is working on. There's like twenty layers of vocals and they are doing these random swells and all this cool shit and I'm just like, 'Woah, that's insane'. So when she sent back all of the vocals for that, it was the same kind of thing. And that's not something I would have thought of. It's no longer me sitting at this desk right here working on 'Double Dare' or 'Entertainment. I think you can only go so far alone and if you happen to have friends and people you like around you who are incredible at other things, I don't see why you wouldn't collab with them. At the end of the day, all I want is the best album in the world."

It felt like that spirit of collaboration had disappeared in the scene for a while but is now coming back around again, which is great because, like you say, everyone benefits from that…

"Yeah that's totally true. And at least for me, I felt like I had something to prove, especially early on. Because we did… we had a lot to prove. But I think, maybe in an ego sense, or I don't know what it was, but I took a lot of pride in it. We'd meet people in other bands who were bigger than us and they'd go, 'Is it true that you had no co-writes or people working on this or anything?' But in the grand scheme of things, we're not shit. In the world of music, most people don't even know we exist. But I feel like that thing - that weird alternative music mindset. Some, 'Us against the world, got to prove yourself' type of shit - I don't really have that anymore. And I'm glad, because it's not productive, it's not helpful, it's not gonna make you have a better album. I feel like alternative music, as stubborn as everybody is, I think they are probably seeing how good collabs are in hip-hop, or how Spotify works and are like, 'Oh shit, we should do that"." You've always talked about personal stuff within your lyrics but it feels like on 'Greatest Hits', you were a lot more open and direct.

What do you think has changed in your approach to lyrics?

"I think there's multiple reasons for it. I think most people just don't look that deep into stuff and I want them to know what I'm talking about. 'Entertainment… that whole fucking album is metaphors. The whole thing. And I think with stuff like 'Turbulent', that was in a way more cathartic. This isn't an objective truth or anything, this is just for me, but I think it's more cathartic to be blunt. And thats not to say metaphors or keeping things poetic isn't good. I want to still use metaphors, part of me wants to lean a little more on that. There's just something very cathartic about just saying it. 'LIKE IT'… just getting to talk shit for verses and I had even more verses written but I just wanted it to be like a punk song. A very grungy, punk kind of thing. It was just more of a release. People that are very into the band will look more deep into things but sometimes I just want someone who hears ten seconds on Tik Tok to know what the fuck I'm talking about. Lyrically, I didn't want to waste any time, I just wanted to get to it."

'Double Dare' celebrated its fifth anniversary this year. Is there anything about the creative process back then that still applies to how you work now?

"Honestly, it's the same. Sit down, laptop, guitar, keyboard, bass, mic. Shut everything out, start making shit. What is made has changed, but the process is the same."

Is there anything you wish you knew back then that you know now?

"All I would do if I could go back is just give them a mixing budget. Because I wouldn't change anything. I like some of the songs more than others but I still think they should all exist. We made the whole album for like, $10,000. Some people might hear that and think it's a lot, but it's not. For making an album, especially on a label, thats nothing. If we could get a Zakk Cervini mix, like a remix…"

When it came to the live show, this tour seems to match this new era in feel. How did you approach bringing 'Greatest Hits' to the stage?

"We went through a lot of different stages with the production. This was the first idea - I want it to make it look like thunder if we want to, make it really dark and moody, no lights around us just silhouettes and bits of lightning, because it's just a full cloud wall, so we can be in a storm like we are going to die or it can glow gold like we are in heaven, or like a sunset. Somebody actually asked me at a Q&A the other day about the symbolism of the doors onstage and I think being in my apartment so much for that long, I was always just looking at them. It felt right to bring the three doors hovering in the clouds. We had the red, yellow and blue bikes because that was my only escape during it. I could come up with crazy production all day, but you also have to take into consideration the rooms you are doing. Is it indoor, outdoor, 500 people, 2,000 people…You base these things on that. What can work in different ways. I think it's the most fitting and conceptually it's probably the best pairing we could have had visually with this album. But some day I think it would be so cool, when we get to do those fucking arena shows, to collab with someone who has done it a million times. The first time or two around, you don't understand the capabilities of what can and can't be done. You don't know what your limits are, so you just kind of be safe. So I'm excited to eventually start collabing with someone on that."

As things get bigger, it feels like the rooms are starting to match your ambition. Is there a pressure to scale things up?

"There's not really a pressure. I just don't think about it like that. The other night, and this hasn't happened in forever, but right before going on I had this weird moment where I felt like I'd re-entered my body. They were already playing 'Greatest Hits' and the first song is about to start and I felt like I'd re-entered. I glanced at the audience and thought, 'Oh god'. Fucking freaked out. Like, 'What the fuck am I doing?' I say that because the best thing you can do is not think. If you just show up and do it, cool shit gets done. If you think about it, if you analyse it, you psych yourself out."

"I NEEDED TO DO WHAT'S GOING TO MAKE ME FEEL FULFILLED RIGHT NOW"

"SOMETIMES I JUST WANT SOMEONE WHO HEARS TEN SECONDS ON TIKTOK TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT"

It was also great to see you be joined again by Mikey Way during this tour…

"I know man, that was so cool. We're always talking about when we can do stuff because he loves playing shows and he fucks with Waterparks and stuff which is so crazy. I was in Nashville a month before the tour and we hung out and got dinner, and he's like, 'Dude, I wanna play one of these shows'. And he's gonna be in Nashville so I'm like, 'How about Nashville? And anything else you wanna do'. And he's like, 'Definitely Nashville and I'd love to do more'. I was like, 'You let me know what you wanna play and we'll switch up the set after'. That was so fun. He is one of the nicest fucking people in this world. He's in the biggest rock band in the world and does not act like it. He's so humble and so nice. He's just a good dude."

Looking forward, what do you think are the biggest things you learned in the process of making 'Greatest Hits"?

"I definitely don't wanna talk too much, especially as I don't know way too much, but I think that the one drawback that I've had with 'Greatest Hits'… it's not even a drawback with 'Greatest Hits', it's just the way in which it was consumed. I think that because it's so long, and not even long runtime wise… It's just that 17 tracks is intimidating to some, especially if you are not a diehard listener. I think some songs got overlooked, or under-appreciated. There are certain ones where I wonder how long it's gonna stay underrated. The production on 'See You In The Future' is fucking insane but its not even in the top seven of the most listened to. Or 'Magnetic'. Or 'Crying Over It All' is I think one of the best songs Waterparks has ever put out. They just get overlooked. 'American Graffiti', I kind of made that song as I was frustrated one night at how dogshit a lot of alt rock stuff that was coming out at the time was. I was just like, 'This is so uninspired, I'm just gonna make the way fucking cooler version of what these people are trying to do. I'm gonna do the perfect mix of Jimmy Eat World and Death Cab and all these people. And then just throw in some real wild production'. That outro is so fucking pretty. I feel like a lot of those get overlooked because theres so much. And there's a lot we can't put in the set because it's literally 17 songs. We're already playing for an hour and a half every night, which is a lot. We're not playing six of the songs because theres not even time. What I'm getting at is, the next album will probably be more…I don't wanna say concise, because it's not like 'Greatest Hits' isn't. It definitely goes on more tangents because that was the point. But it'll probably be shorter."

It certainly feels like alt.rock is the place where the album is king. In hip-hop you can release singles all the time, EPs, whatever you want. Is that something you've thought about in terms of release structure?

"I'm cool with singles. I don't really wanna do EPs anymore. Mainly because I'd rather just do four singles or release them as a pair. Because then if somebody hates one, they'll probably like the other. But I think that I would probably just do singles or pairings then drop another album."

What is on the to-do list for 2022?

"We are coming to Europe. We've got some more shows that we are gonna announce soon. Some places we've never been before. We've locked in support, haven't announced it yet but its gonna be very cool. We're playing that London show—insane. I wish I could say more. It's gonna be a good year."

Waterparks' latest album 'Greatest Hits' is out now via 300 Entertainment. They're due to tour the UK next summer.

[egg-emperor]

It must be exciting AF to be chosen by King Shahryar to dance. He calls you to the stage and asks you to dance for him. The dance could be your very last one you perform, as he watches for any slip ups.

Other members of the harem look nervous. As you dance upon the stage, a menacing looking fella can be seen in the background holding a huge scimitar. This is a reminder that not performing up to the king's standards could get you beheaded and the king will replace you with a younger hotter dude. 😱

Never knowing which dance will be your last, just sounds so thrilling and exciting. It also keeps the members of the harem always on their toes🥰🥰🥰

YESSS EXACTLY that's one of the most appealing things about Shahryar to me! I'd love the thrill of knowing he could discard me with his ruthlessness in calling for executions at the smallest amount of displeasure and how he could replace me like nothing happened with a prettier younger guy if I'm no longer of good use as he has all the power and opportunity with his power. Both my genuine passionate devotion and the fear of execution would fuel me to always try my very best for him and give him my all.

The dances he requests would definitely be some of the highest pressure situations under his rule. It's very important to him, he takes it very seriously and has zero tolerance for any mistakes with the levels of perfection and pleasure he expects and feels ever entitled to as king. Only the best dancers who can deliver the most perfect performances get to live and stay in his harem and the members have to brace themselves in case it's their last dance, as his judgment and punishment can be brutally harsh!

Having that risk hang over my head the whole time, the constant reminder being the sight of the man with the scimitar in the back and lifting it up so it glints in the light and shows off how sharp and shiny it is, along with Shahryar doing a quietly threatening cut throat motion over his neck would cause my heart to pound and produce high adrenaline which makes focusing on performing well an even bigger challenge. But having the chance to please my beloved king if I do it right would be exhilarating and fuel me too.

I would love if my life were in his hands and one wrong move could have it taken away in an instant, reminding me I exist, live, breathe, and act all for him, which I'd do most happily of the entire harem. I feel the pressure with all eyes on me but I have to dance for him like nobody else is watching it I want to live. All the attention might be on me but he's still the most important one with all the power in that moment because he gets to decide if it's up to his high standards and what becomes of me if they are or aren't.

All other harem members would look very worried and sat in the middle above all would be Shahryar with a stern gaze, great suspense would be in his blank expression as his eyes burn into me, watching intensely as I move for the slightest slip up. If he's happy with it, a big pleased smile appears on his face, his eyes run over my body, and he licks his lips as he enjoys the show. If he isn't, his stern look will turn into a frown, he'll click his fingers and the guy with the scimitar will join me and well, you know what happens next... 👀

The punishment will be getting executed which is the very worst possible thing that could happen to me and he finds great excitement and entertainment in that too. But on the other hand, the reward will be one of the best and luckiest things that could ever happen, getting to sleep with him in the extra special luxurious bed in his bedroom for the night, which is really just so he can order for more of those moves later- by dancing on him. ;) Both are very exciting to both him and me regardless of how it ends 🥰💜💕

Aside from the luxury of getting to stay in his palace as a member of the harem and the joy and privilege of existing within a handsome king's mighty presence and loving him up, there would also be the constant thrill of how dangerous, brutal, and unpredictable he can be. What a life of excitement that would be! It definitely keeps us all on our toes and ready and alert to follow his orders and determined to please him well. Though my passion and adoration for him would also play a big part in it for me personally hehe

[hersweetrevenge]

here we go again, another ends novelisation canon post.

i've talked about this before i think, but i am forever fascinated by the ways in which corey proves himself to be very much his mother's son.

joan is terrible, of course. she's emotionally abusive, manipulative, and controlling. she's had corey on such a tight leash his whole life. she's convinced him that she is the only person that will ever love him. her greatest dream is to keep corey with her forever, where she is the only person he loves and she is the only person who loves him.

corey, of course, is nothing like that. he's kind and sensitive, devoted and passionate, awkward and earnest. but he is obsessive and possessive, too. love is a weapon that has been used against him his whole life. the only way corey has ever learnt how to love someone, is to keep them as close as possible and not let go. make it so that they can't let go either.

there are hints of it in the movie, but the novel really explores how corey sees his relationship with allyson as a competition against laurie. allyson can only love one person, he thinks, and he's going to do everything he can to make sure that person is him.

after michael spares him in the sewer, corey goes to talk to allyson. laurie is suspicious of him, and the change in his demeanour between talking to laurie and then to allyson is described in a much more deliberate way, like he's knowingly putting on an act.

the night he kills doug, corey once again goes to see allyson. laurie watches from outside and corey very pointedly looks in her direction while allyson leads him up to her bedroom.

the morning after, when he goes to leave he encounters laurie in the kitchen. she warns him about the dangers of motorcycle, says she's worried allyson might get hurt riding with him. he assures her, almost spitefully, that allyson is safe with him.

laurie watches the couple outside the radio station, where allyson finally agrees to leave with corey. as they embrace, corey sees laurie and, without allyson noticing, waves a her.

at the abandoned allen house, corey ruminates that if laurie is so against him and allyson being together then she should never of introduced them. he explicitly tells her to kill herself, because allyson doesn't need her anymore and it's the only way she can leave and be happy with him (and only him).

his phone call to allyson, saying he needs to leave tonight, is his clearest manipulation. he lies. he gives allyson an incredibly time sensitive ultimatum, she has to choose and when she's become so infatuated so quickly, and with all the seeds of doubt that corey has been planting, of course she'd choose him.

backed into a corner, with two bullet wounds and laurie looking at him so smugly, corey can't stop laughing. he kills himself with the last words, "what have you done?!", staged just in time for allyson to overhear and assume the worst possible scenario. corey had said laurie wanted him dead, right?

all of it is done purposely. he wants laurie to know what he's doing, wants her to see how she's losing allyson. he knows he'd be taking allyson away from laurie, and i don't think his decision to kill laurie comes entirely from the want to set allyson free. i think part of him wants to do it so he can be with allyaon without any distractions, so he's the only one in her life she cares about.

but i also don't think he manipulates allyson in an actively malicious way (only passively malicious lol). of course what he's doing is wrong, but it's an act of desperation. having finally found someone who he thinks can understand him, who could love him like he wants to be loved, he is desperate to hold onto them. corey consistently acts out of desperation and trauma, and this obsessive need to hold onto people (or person) is reflective of so many of his other issues.

[lee-hakhyun]

sorry for continuing to spam your inbox; i am very enthusiastic about the secondhand information i hear, and i love hearing your thoughts a lot. lemme know if it gets annoying, though!

last thing about the 41st round being an alternate version here like the 1863rd round leading to 1864

you see, the secretive plotter first tried to change things himself - but in the end, he was just revisiting a past he couldn’t change, thus continuing the cycle of regressors reliving their grief

but secretive plotter’s actions regarding the alternate 1863 is different. it’s different because he had gotten someone else to help change yoo joonghyuk’s ending

first han sooyoung, in order for her to ensure his death - the closest thing to suicide the secretive plotter could have, via the disconnected film theory. and then kim dokja, who was brought in out of spite, wanting to prove to himself and the reader that his presence changes nothing.

except it did change things. it created a world that the secretive plotter - yoo joonghyuk of ways of survival - had never heard of before. all because he had, whatever the intentions were, asked for help. and this theme of reaching out for help is actually echoed throughout the story; if none of the details are changed, it just becomes another stage transformation, but if there’s someone else, if you’re not repeating the same events alone… you could write a better ending

it’s even in the revision of the ‘world after the fall’. i never actually read it in full myself, but there’s a translation of the last chapter available online for free if you look for it. there, yoo joonghyuk makes a sudden appearance at the very end; as the story’s lonely protagonist jaehwan waits to die under a bookshop’s debris caused by an earthquake, he is suddenly saved by a character from the book he was reading while trapped. and when jaehwan bemoans that his rescue was only possible because of literal cosmic intervention, yoo joonghyuk responds;

“there are some things that we can’t change ourselves. it took me a long time to realize this.”

and here lee hakhyun is, a writer, brought in to rewrite the story of a wordline often spoken of as a tragedy, making decisions that neither yoo joonghyuk, han sooyoung nor kim dokja would have ever done.

god i wish i was in a position to pay for the chapters. i’m betting it’s delicious over there

noo anon i love hearing your ideas too keep talking!! oh that quote. things that can't be changed

and maybe things that can be changed by someone else. lee hakhyun's exclusive skill is literally one that rewrites, if there's someone who is meant to rewrite a story now it's him

lee hakhyun never knew kim dokja personally, and maybe because he didn't write orv specifically for him and having written so many settings for characters that never showed up in orv, he's clearly paying more attention to the extra characters, giving everyone in geumho station a chance to survive as for why, i think it's a difference in core values kim dokja and han sooyoung, prioritizing the ones closest to them over everything else and yoo joonghyuk + now lee hakhyun, while keeping those close to them also doing more to aid those who they don't know

it might just be my interpretation, but it's interesting and lee hakhyun ending up in cheon inho's body.. a man who did not care for other life at all. and the way he's constantly calling himself a villain even as he's trying to save people

i am so interested in seeing how lee hakhyun develops, there's so much that could be done with him i drafted something about this and never posted it but lee hakhyun is more 'just some guy' than kim dokja. his trauma stemming from him being just so normal, and the specter in the phantom prison saying there's nothing in him there's something there about him inciting himself as other people to act as them, and him using kim dokja's story in his trauma, i just can't put it into words yet

authors ending up in their creation and having to deal with their own world,, (i love you too shang qinghua)

[cleverthylacine]

Tag 10 People You Want to Get to Know Better

Relationship status: Extremely divorced. Prowl levels of divorced. Four times! Multiple genders! Still hopeful though!  I would like to be in a relationship but probably nobody who is not a quadruped should live in the same house with me; while the other parties involved definitely had contributing issues and one was an honest-to-G-d abuser, I’m the only one who’s done it 4 times.

Favourite colour: This varies; it’s usually pink, but can also be purple and various shades of light blue, teal or peach.  There are shades of yellow and yellowish green that are deeply, almost physically unpleasant and painful for me to look at. I’m very autistic that way.

I always get the highest scores possible on those colour sensitivity tests, and was almost broken as a kid by my mother telling me I had to match colours because to my eyes almost nothing matched so I just wore whatever I personally thought looked good.  Turns out everyone other than my mother thought so too. I was really good at “matching blacks” during my goth stage.

Something I want right now: universal basic income and to quit my job so I can write and dance and learn how to draw again. Song stuck in my head: Oh No!  by Marina and the Diamonds (it’s one of my Starscream songs)

Three favourite foods: My three easiest to obtain favourites are: 1. Rib eye steak, particularly the outer part, rare but not cold. 2. Salmon and asparagus with brown rice farina and cheese. 3. Haagen-Dazs butter pecan ice cream. I’m autistic.  Other brands are close, but for me close but not quite as good is “nasty” not “acceptable”‘ -- if the brand isn’t available, I’ll get some other gluten free flavour.  Too close is deeply disappointing. Something that doesn’t sound awful can only be mildly disappointing and might be good.

Last song I listened to: “You Better You Bet” by the Who.  I always imagine Grimlock singing this to Howlback.

“I don’t really mind how much you love me--oooh, a little is all right When you say, come over and spend the night, tonight!”

(He is demiro, she is aro. She loves him to pieces, but despite the fact that they are so hot for each other they fuck rather than hug hello, she has never been In Love in her life and is grateful for that because she thinks being In Love makes people of every species act crazy AF.)

Last thing I googled: 1960s brutalist jewellery. That’s what @legendtrainer, who tagged me, googled last, and I, who have only ever heard “brutialist” applied to architecture, wondered what the fuck that was. It turns out that I own a fuck ton of it, though it’s all from the 70s and early 80s. I bought it when I wanted to cosplay my Star Trek: TOS OCs.  I thought it would look like Klingon or Vulcan stuff. I wonder if the ones I haven’t taken apart and strung together with other things are worth anything.

Dream trip: I want to go back to Japan with more time and a lot more money.

Aside from that, though, in terms of practical dreams:  I was supposed to go to TF-Con LA but my brother got cancer and I bought him some of his meds while waiting for his coverage to kick in because, you know, I don’t want him to die. And his special food that insurances just don’t cover.

Don’t live in America.  We’re a beautiful country but we’re a cruel one.

No pressure tags (seriously, NO PRESSURE): @bitegore (who I know very well but not about this kinda thing); @byzantienne (who I was very close to for years but rarely see now because she is Married and writing really good books and it’s Ninety-Three Thylacine, I know animals are weird choices but when have I ever not been weird); @stuffbyshelby2; @guesso13; @inktheblot (who I wanted to be friends with for years because of the videos and finally met in TF-land); @satellitesoundwave;  @shychangling; JD (you keep changing blog titles); @jariktig; @cybervillainess.

[wanderingchild]

Phantom’s 35th. My thoughts.

I haven’t seen this show in almost 10 years. Tonight was my…54th time? 55th? I honestly have lost count. I know it was once on a National Tour (2006 with Gary Mauer), once in London (2013 with Marcus Lovett), and the rest on Broadway (2005, 2010-2014, & 2023 -many Phantoms, but mostly Hugh Panaro).

I loved this show. For several years, it was my life, it consumed everything about me. I was there for her 10,000th show, for her 25th Anniversary, Peter Jöback’s Broadway debut…so many small milestones and unique shows too with fun understudy & swing combinations. I knew this show inside & out, who covered what role, the timing of the choreography for every role, every single person onstage & behind the scenes. It was strange not knowing all the lyrics, the new choreography choices, who was at the stage door. A lot of these choreography changes, particularly for Christine & Raoul…10-years-ago me probably would’ve had a fit!

It shouldn’t surprise me that things changed over the last 10 years, particularly after Hal Prince & Gillian Lynne’s deaths - Hal was the last thing keeping the show from being any less than the “Brilliant Original”. Tonight showed me while the show is far from a shadow of what it used to be, it certainly is a phantom of the show I used to love. sorry i had to

There’s no getting around it: It’s old. It’s tired. It’s a well-oiled machine, but it’s rusty & showing its age. It probably has for a long time, but in the 10 years since I put aside my rose-tinted glasses, I can see it now. Even my mom commented on it. Perhaps they were just tired, and I know it was a 2-show day, but a lot of the acting felt lackluster. Or maybe they just don’t care as much anymore since they know she’s closing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ben had some fantastic, but brief, moments - his softer sections were definitely his strong points for me (“I gave you my music”, “lead me save me…”, “Christine I love you”). His word pronunciation was inconsistent, and his character in the Final Lair confused me. Is he meant to be drunk? It was odd.

Emilie was lovely, if a bit too subdued - her vibrato was a bit strong for my taste, but I’ve never cared for strong vibrato. The PONR choreography makes ZERO sense to me now - I was in the front of Rear Mezz, and it was not remotely clear at all 1. when Christine knew it was the Phantom and 2. if she, like, cared.

Sidenote: it was very cool to see & hear all the changes made to wigs, props, and lyrics to accommodate & acknowledge Christine no longer only being played by white/white-passing actresses.

Paul was Raoul tonight. He was always a better Raoul than Phantom, but neither were ever anything special to talk about. He seemed to just be…standing there, a lot of the time. Mom said he was her favorite of the trio though, so that counts for something.

And for the record, I still hate the Wandering Child trio. It just sounds like vibratic chaos.

The managers were funny - the contrast of the younger, more frantic Andre & the more humbug “this shit is ridiculous” Firmin has never been more stark, which both amused and annoyed me. Nehal Joshi has many more comedic roles in his future, for certain.

I did record the show tonight, but I don’t think the audio will be very good. The people next to me kept making stupid comments and ruined MOTN. When they arrived back late in Masquerade & the one started commenting about it, I turned to them & said, “Please stop talking. I did not pay all this money to hear you talk”. Thankfully, they shut the fuck up after that. I’ll see how much the recording picked up- might have to just post pieces, we’ll see.

Also, I met ALW in the lobby before the show & got a selfie with him. We both look terrible in it so just take my word for it.

Ben made a speech from some notecards for the curtain call, acknowledging ALW & former cast members being there, and thanking the swings & understudies for making Phantom’s reopening & continued performances possible.

They had a fancy cake made again (it was standing vertical??? Apparently it was rice krispies or something), but the cast didn’t even get to eat it! It had dry ice on it for the “candles” & was apparently sitting backstage all show, so…maybe that was for the best. Black icing doesn’t taste very good, anyway.

I don’t know, tonight was strange for me. I had a swell of emotion during the Overture, and another one at “it’s over now, the Music of the Night”, and when everyone sang Happy Birthday during Ben’s curtain call speech. But otherwise, this show didn’t do much for me.

And honestly? I am very, very okay with that.

I saw tonight as closure, a farewell to an incredibly tumultuous time in my life and to this beautiful production. I’ll probably see it again some day somewhere, but this was my last time seeing her on Broadway.

Farewell my fallen idol my love. It was good to see you one last time.