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#this one just had me Pondering for a while because there's not many other highly-relevant ocs to this au other than caretaker here
south-sea · 1 year
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It's me again!! If you so desire to take another art request- if you've got any OCs associated with the Second Chance AU that you've been dying to show off, please draw them! This is your full permission to be self-indulgent.
stumbles in here nearly two weeks late HOW ABOUT A SONIC'IFIED CARETAKER?! i finally got a design for him i can show here
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despite his looks, he has good intentions (probably). all teeth and no bite (except when he actually does). smokes like a chimney when he's stressed (that's the joke, he's always stressed).
he's an inventor/programmer, and thanks to metal, a little bit of a mechanic at this point too. i wouldn't consider him a particularly empathetic or intentionally-kind person, but some would argue his actions suggest otherwise.
a prime example of this being he is more or less responsible for why shadow/metal have a house where they do, given it's also where he himself lives. shortly after he'd taken in metal for repairs, shadow tagged along; he saw the place looks like permanently-night with electric blue nebulas, got a tad emotional about it, stayed the night. caretaker provided him a comically oversized blanket and a suggestion: go seek out the city owner tomorrow and request housing here.
so he did, and it was approved. caretaker here's quite close with the city owner, so he may or may not have put in a good word in advance.
metal, despite seeing him as a caretaker, still ended up "moving in" with shadow instead. caretaker's not exactly one for permanent company in terms of sharing his house long-term, so it worked out for everyone.
above all else, i'd consider him to be hospitable, but ultimately self-interested when you pull back the curtain. he's not a bad person, but he's not exactly a good person, either. he's just learned how to present himself as a fair balance, and occasionally the situation's just right to inspire what empathy he is capable of and directs it into bettering someone else's circumstances.
metal, being a robot, is the ultimate example of this: caretaker relates a whole lot more to machines and whatnot than others. he views metal as some kind of family first and foremost, and something like his own greatest project second.
when they're synced, metal absolutely refers to him as "father" by pure reflex. caretaker lets his slide; it's not really something metal can control, anyway.
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princesstokyomoon · 2 years
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everytime i see an anti talk shit about something, it makes me want to VERY loudly start obsessing over the thing, even if its something i REALLY dont care about
like
shipping as a whole, i have little interest in, its pointless to me. but i do love pondering different character dynamics, including some immensely fucked up ones in some cases. doesnt mean i like it, its just somethin i will consider.
and that sorta shit is literally the way that i was taugh AS AN ACTOR to engage with media. you dont have to like or use every single possibility or interpretation for your final peice, but considering a script from as many angles as possible gives you a much firmer understanding of a text, and allows you to make specific decisions about YOUR interpretation.
doing this lead me and one of my classmates to make an extensive background story for our characters - despite the fact it was NEVER relevant to the plot because we had such minor roles - just based on the fact that "our kids" were cousins. we looked at how we had chosen to understand our own characters, looked at what the text said, and eventually came to the conclusion that, while we were not directly related, our now dead exs were. he looked down on me and thought of himself too highly, and i resented him for having money, and not sharing with us, his family. but he didnt view us as his family at all. it was never once relevant. we both had maybe five lines the whole play. but it changed how we chose to interact with each other in the background.
and i LOVE doing that for media! i LOVE picking apart what is actually there, considering all the posibilities, and then deciding what that means for my reading of the source material. and sometimes that conclusion is fucked up. as far as i can see, its canon that rick and morty are in love, regardless of how "problematic" that might be. the last handful of episodes basically confirmed that.
in the first unfortunate events book, olaf CLEARLY intends to rape violet once he marries her, and the netflix version of that made that even clearer. olaf clearly feels attraction to her too, im 90% sure he describes her as pretty multiple times. (its been a while, im a little rusty on the details).
if others choose to not read those situations that way, then thats FINE, they dont HAVE to! thats the JOY of analysing media! you can give a bunch of people the exact same material, and theyll more than likely all come away with a different understanding of it!
AND THAT IS NOT A BAD THING! THATS THE WHOLE DAMN POINT!
so seeing SOOO many people saying constantly "your understanding of a text is wrong and makes you evil" is BAFFLING to me. that im seeing people who say "EW YOU CANT SHIP THAT ITS INCEST" about characters who are literally not related, is BAFFLING to me. if you read it as them being family, sure fine whatever. but its not in the text, so let others ship it.
AND EVEN IF IT WERE INCEST, ITS FUCKIN FICTION?????? ITS NOT REAL?????? if you dont like it, you DO NO THAVE TO ENGAGE WITH IT OR THE PEOPLE WHO DO LIKE IT!!!!!
i just.... im so goddamn tired yall
i dont even know what the point of all this is, i saw a thing that made me laugh/mad and needed to vent so you all have to deal with it
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amitlee · 3 years
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Could you do 12 with lee Eret!? It’s fine if not I just haven’t seen a lot with Eret!
So crazy story, I had started writing down my ideas for thoes promts and I had lee Eret down for this one, so I am stoked to do this!
12. “Why are you wearing a crop top?”
Summary: There is one person Eret goes to when he is in a certain mood, maybe a tag team wouldn’t be so bad.
Lee!Eret Ler!BBH
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The sun rose, bringing another morning across the Dream SMP. It was a beautifully average day, the cows were mooing, bees were buzzing, and children were screaming. Eret awoke in his castle, he decided that he would go out on the server today. He dressed in his normal pants and royal mantle but exchanged his shirt for a nice crop top. Eret was not known for having lee moods, he was highly revered as King and was seen as neutral if not leaning Ler.
For this very reason, when he had lee moods there was one person he would go to, BadBoyHalo. Bad was trustworthy, kind, and could be absolutely ruthless.
So here he was, taking a nice stroll to the Badlands in search of his friend. As he was walking he mind wondered what the next half an hour or so of his life entailed; did he want a soft or rough wrecking? Did he want to be wrecked at all? He sighed, he had always been rather indecisive.
“Eret, hey!”
Eret was pulled from his thoughts as he heard the voice of the very man he was looking for.
“Bad, it’s good to see you! How have you been?” Keeping it casual, maybe he’ll just take the hint.
“Not to shabby, and you? I like the shirt by the way, is it just for fun or does it mean something?” The question was innocent and paired with an interested smile.
“I’ve been- uh- good. The shirt! Yeah, I like it too! It could be taken in many ways, I just- I just like it kinda.” The regal fumbled over his words and began to figit as his felt his face flush.
The interested smile changed to a look of concern and amusement, “Kinda? Is everything alright?” Bad asked, he put a hand on the smaller man’s shoulder.
Screw Bad and always being so nice. Eret knew there was no way to dampen his blush by now. “Y-yeah Bad I’m finE-“ he squeaked in suprise at the contact. “Ya know... there is this thing we do sometimes and I might be in a certain mood for it maybe.”
“Ohhh, you silly muffin! Is that why you got all flustered-awww! Go ahead and ask for me please.” He could be ruthless. Bad knew how much teasing affected Eret and he intended to start early!
“Bad- I- can we- you... Bad this is so mean.”
“Mean?! This is adorable!! You are adorable! You know what, screw it.” Bad threw Eret over his shoulder and began to walk back to his and Skeppy’s house. (Just a reminder, Bad is canonically 9 foot something so this is physically possible and not too awkward. Ok sorry! Amity out✌️)
Eret yelped at being tossed like a sack of potatoes, he didn’t really mind though. Bad always walked with a pep in his step, so he was jolted around a little, only adding to the playful and giggly atmosphere.
“We’re going to have so much fun, do you have anything particular in mind? I know you couldn’t ask for it, cutie, but can you push me in the right direction?” They approached his house fairly quickly because of Bad’s long ass legs and Eret could feel butterflies erupt in his stomach, he was already feeling giddy.
“Uhum I just want to be wrecked please...” His voice trailed off towards the end of the sentence and went completely limp in Bad’s arms.
“Aww, you really are adorable. Don’t worry little lee, we’re here!” Bad gently dropped Eret on the bed and took a second to appreciate him. From his pink cheeks and and crop top to things you couldn’t physically see, Bad was truely honored that he held Eret’s trust.
Bad sat on Eret’s thighs and put the man’s hands above his head, “these-“ he gestured to his hands, “-stay right here, ok?” He let his own hands rest on Eret’s sides.
Eret flinched as his arms were guided above him, giggles filled his chest, barley being held in. “Yep!” He cleared his throat, “Yep! That’s goo-great with me.”
And so it began. Bad let his fingers spider from Eret’s lower sides to his upper ribs, throwing random pokes in occasionally. He watched as Eret fell into titters. Gradually he upped the pace until Eret graduated from titters to light laughter.
“Not many people know this Eret but I actually am quite the musician. Now, I wouldn’t call myself a Wilbur, but I’ve always been rather good at the piano. Do you know what is similar to a piano?” Bad watched fondly as the King registered his question and spoke through his giggles.
“Whahahat is lihike a piahaha- a piano?” Eret couldn’t meet his friend’s gaze, but he genuinely pondered the question. He didn’t see how music was relevant to this situation, but Bad never ceased to make fun little conections.
BadBoyHalo giggled and replied “Ribs!” He skittered his fingers under the crop top to vibrate his fingers into Eret’s ribs, making him throw his head back and struggle to hold up his arms. “The bones are like the keys and you make the music! There are many different ways to tickle tickle tickle ribs as well, so they can make many different noises.”
Eret snorted amidst his laughter when Bad dug between his ribs, keeping it light but still firm. When Bad lighted to scratching both sides of the ribs instead, he was rewarded with high pitch giggles and much more squirming.
“Hmm... Do you think raspberries would work well, Piano?”
Eret closed his eyes and shook his head, “Nohoho! You dohohon’t play piahahanos like thahat Bad! Whahat kind of muhuhusician are yohuhu?” He couldn’t help but be a little cheeky.
Bad gasped and stilled his fingers. “Now that, mister, was just uncalled for. I invite you into my home and give you the tickles you desire and this is the thanks I get? I don’t think so.” Bad resumed the action of his hands at Eret’s ribs and took a deep breath before blowing a raspberry on Eret’s belly.
“W-What... Bahahad wait! WahahaIIIT NOHOHO!” Eret all but dissolved into the mattress as two spots were targeted at once. His laughter peaking for a moment before calming slightly. He was about to speak again when Bad drew in another breath and blew another raspberry, this time shaking his head into the smaller man’s stomach. Eret cut himself off with a squeal and dropped his arms down to push at Bad’s shoulders.
Bad raised his head and slowed his hands until his pointer fingers were tracing shapes onto the skin. “Eret. Thoes aren’t your arms not being where they’re supposed to be, right?”
Eret drew in a breath to respond, “I-“
“Because if they are... well, I’m sure you know what happens when people break the rules.” Bad willed his voice to drop and held eye contact with Eret.
“Whahat happens?” Eret asked through giggles.
Bad leaned in to whisper in his lee’s ear, “They. Get. Punished.” He emphasized his words with pokes to Eret’s stomach, he gathered Eret’s hands in one of his own and pinned them back to the bed. When he finished he leaned back to his original position and blew series of small, well calculated raspberries on Eret’s stomach and ribs, leaving his free hand to scritch and spider the other’s armpits.
Eret borderline screamed as his squirming began anew. His armpits had always been a weak spot, abb bed combined with raspberries on two spots! It was very tickly. He let laughter overtake him as he basked in the sensation for a few moments.
“Bad? Eret? What’s going on?” Skeppy had gotten back to his and Bad’s shared home to the sound of screeches and immediately rushed towards the source.
Eret’s blush darkened significantly, especially when Bad didn’t lower the intensity of his tickles.
“Oh, hi Skep! Sorry, I had a situation to deal with. Well Eret, don’t be rude, say hello to Skeppy.” He blew another raspberry, “Or better yet, why don’t you tell him what’s going on, if you’re comfortable. Answer him this, why are you wearing a crop top?” Bad looked over Eret for signs he was uncomfortable. All he found was a flustered, giggly, content person. So he continued.
Skeppy leaned closer, “Is he? Awww!”
Bad giggled again and released Eret’s hands to be able to squeeze and pinch his thighs while keeping his other hand teasing the man’s upper ribs, now attacking two of Eret’s most ticklish spots. “At least say hello~”
“WAHAHA- I WANTED TIHIHICKLES! BAHAHAD PLEHEHEHEASE!” Eret squeezed his eyes shut again, he knew he was reaching his limit even though he was enjoying every second of it.
Bad slowed his hands so he was rubbing away the ghost tingles. “And there we go, I never would have guessed!” He teased.
Skeppy got onto the bed with his two close friends and properly greeted the guest “Hello Eret! Good to see you again!” They both smiled and exchanged small talk for a while until Bad sat up.
“Ok everyone, cuddle-pile! Get in here you two, this is triple the aftercare for the brave one who took all those tickles like an absolute champ!”
And so everyone cuddled close, regained strength, and promptly took a nap.
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Whew! That took a while on my end, sorry about that by the way. I have another fic on the way! I’m still in a big dumb mood so it will probably take me a day or two!
As always, thank you so much for the ask and for reading my things! I love you all and have a great day💕❤️
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psycholojosh · 3 years
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Road to RPsy: A master's student's guide for Filipino psychology graduates in making a career headway in the Philippines - Part 1
Let's paint this picture for a moment...
You get into your psychology program (or any other program) in a Filipino college or university. You study hard. And then, you achieve your well-deserved bachelor's degree. While you shake hands and celebrate for about a month (just as you should), you sooner realize and ask, "Now what?" Then, you ponder on how to get your career in clinical psychology started. Possibly, you got anxious, confused, or maybe even determined.
If this is (or was) you, don't worry! You're perfectly okay. Trust me, I've been there before... and we shouldn't feel ashamed for this.
Which is why I'd like to take this time to write about my personal and professional experiences as a college graduate of psychology in the Philippines, and how I managed to craft my own headway into getting clinical training and graduate studies for clinical psychology. I sincerely hope that this little article would help a fellow psychology graduate craft their own headway into clinical psychology (or any other field of the sort). I'd also like to share some tips from my past and present mentors, colleagues, coworkers, and professors that I find useful to take note of.
I separated this into a series of articles to keep reading concise and organized. For this part, I start off with discussing...
What psychology careers in the Philippines looks like
How goals can be set in order to get an RPsy; and
Selecting the postgraduate school or program for you
Keep reading to find out more!
Key Points (TL;DR)
There are many myths and misconceptions that narrow one's view about psychology and its careers; but there are actually a lot of opportunities.
Keep yourself open to opportunities, be it for training or career, that will help propel you to snatching an RPsy license.
Clinical experience is key. But, do not discount non-clinical experiences as well.
Practice 'SMART' (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound) goal setting for your career.
Choosing a school is dependent on your preferred training, scholastic interests, career goals, personal motivations, and (financial) resources.
Before I begin...
I'd like to first disclose what my biases and limits are, and what potentially could be a matter that you, dear reader, should consider before taking any advice from me. So, here's a little bit about myself...
Firstly, I am a young adult and pretty much novice to the field of psychology. I have gone through two years (and counting) of clinical experience as a licensed psychometrician. I do not declare myself an expert yet, nor do I pride myself as the most reliable person in the field of psychology. This article is written purely in my personal perspective and experiences. That said, I will do my best to offer you up-to-date information and objectivity that may support or criticize my views.
Secondly, I come from a very middle-class family. My parents made just about enough for us to pay the bills, to feed, clothe, and shelter us, and to give us a decent education. I firmly think this disclosure is very important since not everyone has the same privileges in terms of education, opportunity, and resources. There are some career decisions that I have made or experienced because I had the capacity to make them so despite certain critical tradeoffs (like, getting less pay). As of writing, I would say that our status is still the same, even if I make my own profit with my college degree. I will do my best to be considerate about the differing backgrounds among people, especially when it comes to privilege offered by social class.
Lastly, I'd like to emphasize that my word is not gospel and should not be taken easily by those who seek importance or utility to what I will share. The tone I will use will be very personal - as this is my personal blog. Plus, I will be largely biased towards clinical psychology, as it is the field I am in. You may find that some pieces of advice will resonate more with you than others. Conversely, you might find that some pieces of advice may be unhelpful for you. Hence, I welcome any criticism to my personal views and open myself to a healthy discussion. (Feel free to reach me through my Ask page here on my blog.) I highly encourage you, dear reader, to look for more opinions from more seasoned professionals in the field.
Now, on to the article...
The current scene of psychology careers in the Philippines
As I was graduating, it was important for me to look for information about careers in psychology in the country. After all, as you will see later, getting an idea of psychology's zeitgiest (a term used by historians to refer to the salient "mood" or "spirit" of ideas or beliefs of, say, an academic field) this country will inform you in your career goal setting and considering options that will lead you to where you want to be.
Psychology in the Philippines has a lot of stereotypes, myths, and misconceptions brought about by pop psychology spread across the masses. Here are some of the popular ones (and my personal favorites) which you may have already heard from people around you:
"Sa HR mapupunta ang isang Psych grad." ("Psych grads end up in HR [work].")
"Psych ka? Magme-med/Maglo-law ka ba?" ("You study Psych? Are you pursuing med/law?")
"Wala naman masyadong pera/future sa Psych." ("There's no money/future in Psych.")
"Psych? So yung mga baliw yung trabaho mo?" ("Psych? So you work on crazy people?")
And there's plenty more where that came from. Funnily enough, my college friends and I used to do a game where we take a shot of liquor for each myth said to us. (Drink responsibly, kids!) But, as psychology graduates, we know that these aren't completely true.
Now, let's take a look at how we can argue in psychology's defense and dignity and accept what the common person has gotten correctly.
Psychology practice in the Philippines
It's important to note that the term 'psychologist' or 'psychology practitioner' has different meanings in various contexts. Often, we think about psychologists as those who does therapy and plays around with psychological instruments. While this is somewhat true, a more academic language would refer to a 'psychologist' or 'practitioner' as someone who earned their degree in psychology - regardless of specialty - and has built their career in praxis of psychology. As I go along in this section, I'll refer to the 'psychologist' as the latter definition.
Clinical and counselling. In a 2004 article by Cristina Montiel and Lota Teh published in the International Handbook of Psychology, the authors enumerated on and expounded the most popular fields and specializations that psychology practitioners work in. Clinical or counselling practitioners lead in this list, often delving into psychotherapy, interventions, and assessment in various settings -- of which I have had experience on. I think this appears to be only partially true today, which I'll explain in a bit. You would find most practitioners doing their clinical practice in private clinics, hospitals, and schools. It's important to note, however, that most practitioners of this subfield have postgraduate degrees, and - since the year 2014, when Republic Act No. 10029 was enacted - a board license from Philippine Professional Regulation Commission (PRC). These licensed professionals have the names: 'RPsy' for psychologists.
However, bachelor's degree holders were also permitted to practice with their own little license: an 'RPm' or 'registered psychometrician' - which I have. These licensed professionals, get to practice assessment and several other supportive clinical functions - but not psychotherapy. The catch? You legally and ethically need to be supervised by a licensed psychologist. I'd like to get into the nitty-gritty differences and nuances of these two licenses, but I'll save that for another article. In the meantime, you must understand that these two have disparities in terms of their education attainment, clinical skills, and professional autonomy.
During my oath-taking ceremony as a psychometrician in 2018, Dr. Regina Hechanova-Alampay, a known Filipina in the fields of industrial-organizational and community psychology (and the mom of one of my dear friends), stated in her keynote address that the approximate ratio of each RPsy to each Filipino citizen is 1 to 100,000. A 2018 study has pointed this approximation to be accurate. Similarly, my former clinical supervisor approximated that the ratio of RPsy supervisors to RPm supervisees is 1 to 2,000. These numbers are quite a lot! Needless to say, there is a shortage of supply of clinical practitioners for the demand and a large influx of RPm's that have less clinical autonomy. And with an ever-growing relevance and awareness to the field of mental health in the country, these numbers are concerning. But -- hold on. If there are a lot of RPm's being produced yearly, where do they go?
Industrial-organizational and human resources. Montiel and Teh accounted that the second most abundant field in the country is in industrial-organizational (I/O) psychology or human resources (HR). This is where I think most psychology graduates usually end up in after college these days. Daresay, this is the fastest way to earn money as a fresh college graduate. But does that mean that the stereotype is necessarily true? It really depends on the way an employer values the employee and how much one is capable of doing a job. Sometimes, you get paid more, just right, or less.
I/O psychologists or HR practitioners often deal in corporate or organizational settings, often concerned with their person-related matters. They have skills like recruiting talent or labor, assessing worker needs, evaluating individual performances, or developing workers of a company - just to name a few. Do they need a license like an RPsy or RPm? Not necessarily.
You would often find job postings for HR positions that would often "prefer" a psychology graduate with a license, but sometimes "require" it. Therein lies some grey areas about how the professional licenses' stipulations are interpreted. But, let's not get into that just yet. But in my opinion, if people saw the utility of getting a license (which has its own financial costs of acquiring) as a way to improve compensation or marketability in the workforce, then they should get it.
Not all industrial-organizational psychologists, however, delve into the office hours and paper works. Some others go into research - particularly on topics like employee behaviors, group dynamics, and so on. It's important to think that these types of practitioners are just as versatile as other subfields in psychology.
Academia and other niches of psychology. As per Montiel and Teh, another large chunk of practitioners often end up in the academe. They become educators in various levels, researchers, or expert consultants depending on their interest, skill, and reputation. For example, developmental psychologists (or those who specialize in child psychology) get hired in preschools or alternative modes of learning. It was also mentioned briefly that social psychologists often find themselves in the social development sector, like the National Economic Development Agency (NEDA) or the Department for Social Welfare and Development (DSWD). Other common settings for psychology graduates to work in includes government facilities and the military, where their knowledge about human behavior are often found useful.
Research skills are also found useful in areas like market research and analytics. Because psychology graduates have knowledge about fundamentals of statistics and psychological measurement, a lot of these businesses employ their help in order to understand their target market's consumer behaviors and make informed decisions to increase profit. Other information about making a career in business can come be read in a lot of psychoeducational websites, like in Verywell Mind.
Overall, there is a plethora of careers a psychology graduate can delve into, especially for a fresh graduate like yourself. Over time, you would find that certain subfields would resonate more with you than others. You may often wonder which one - or a combination of more - would lead you to your career or personal ambitions. Now that you know how vast a career in psychology can be, it's a matter of choice and planning ahead, which leads me to the next section.
Goal-setting: Which road to take and what to expect
Eyeing the precious RPsy license won't be an easy task. Then again, would the hardships matter if it's worth it anyway? It's important for you, dear reader, to think about how you want to get to that goal.
Should one want to take a straightforward path, she or he would have taken their master's or doctorate studies in clinical or counselling psychology for the following three to five years (with coursework, practicum, and perhaps thesis or dissertation), then take the board exam from the PRC. I have a couple of friends who have done so, and it works for them.
However, for the likes of many of us - myself included - we may not have the same luxury of time or resources to afford us this direct route. Because of many personal needs (ahem-- financial), we may need to find a way to secure these as we go along our road to the RPsy. And how could I forget the costs of postgraduate studies alone? Which is why we'll need to earn or find income.
The best job or experience that can afford you a good head start in clinical psychology is the one closest to it. As my former supervisor, Paula, once said, "Clinical experience is key." For example, you can find psychometricians assisting with psychological assessments in various settings. Others delved into social or community work -- sometimes as a volunteer. The likelihood for one to get accepted in clinical or counselling training programs, like a postgraduate degree or certification training, is increased when one has had a hand on a similar line of work. But this is not to say that any other job is unimportant -- no. There's growing research on the various applications of mental health practice on non-clinical settings, like schools, offices, and even micro-communities. The possibilities are actually numerous. That said, I cannot guarantee how abundant these opportunities are.
There are a few things to consider when looking for a job or a source of income:
In terms of career, what are your yes's, maybe's, and no's? Make individual lists of the occupations you can say these three answers to.
How soon are you planning to achieve an RPsy license? As soon as the next four years? Or, maybe you want to take it slow and say ten?
What job and/or study opportunities are available to you at the moment? How comfortable will the setup be for you?
How much resources and time are available to you for work, study, and personal matters? Which of these do you prioritize more?
How much are you willing or do you need to be compensated to afford such a lifestyle?
As you formulate answers to these questions (especially, the last two), keep in mind that a more effective goal setting follows a 'SMART' process. That is: it is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound. (More info about this process right here.) Patterning our goals to these dimensions helps us look at ourselves objectively and find an integrated way to live our lives productively.
In my personal experience, after graduating college, I took a two month break to enjoy the fruits of my hard-earned college degree with a "vacation" (which mostly staying home, if I'm being honest). In my mind, I knew that getting a master's degree is a must for me; a ladderized doctorate program was also amenable but I wanted to get that training abroad. But, I wanted to make myself more immersed in the field before I can enter a graduate program. I applied to different jobs - a psychological services consultant (which I primarily wanted), a personal development teacher in senior high, and a research analyst. Luckily, I got the job that I wanted and reaped clinical experience. (I'll write more about my first experiences in the clinic in another post.) A year later, I applied and got into the clinical program of the University of the Philippines. And now, I've been taking coursework on clinical psychology while working as a research associate of a particular office in the same university.
I understand, however, that not everybody could find the "perfect" balance or ideal solution to all of these concerns. In fact, I don't think anyone can -- unless you were blessed with such a life. Why? This is where I reflectively talk about my privilege (as I did at the beginning). Awareness of your own opportunities makes us think fully or subconsciously about our own status in the social system. Whether we like it or not, it affects many of the career - and more broadly, life - decisions depending on where we stand in our lives. Which is why I advocate for practicality. We may not always select the ideal -- but the principle of survival is important, especially in an underdeveloped country like the Philippines. As Montiel and Teh pointed out, poverty and economics have affected psychology practice and it opportunities in the country.
Can goals or plans change? Short answer is 'yes'. There are many reasons why our plans change. It may be because we find ourselves being presented by new or better opportunities. Or perhaps, we discover more personal insights and realizations about the career we want and how to get it. Life can be complex to influence our decisions within or without our control. Whatever the reason is, it is important for one to be able to evaluate one's strengths and weaknesses, limits and boundaries, and our emotions and motivation to keep us going.
Choosing your school: Which one should I go to?
It's very common for a psychology graduate to ask: Where should I get my clinical training? Again, this is dependent on your resources, time, and preferences. Coupled with these is the opportunities (or as Bandura would put it - chance encounters and fortuitous events).
Locally, there are about 60% of schools that offer master's degrees in clinical or counselling psychology as per Commission of Higher Education (CHED). A fewer percentage offers Ph.D. or doctorate equivalent degrees in clinical or counselling psychology, the three most famous being (as per Montiel and Teh): the Ateneo de Manila University, the University of the Philippines, and University of Santo Tomas. However, there is a growing number of urban and rural schools that offer postgraduate studies and attract local aspirants to enroll in their programs. At the top of my mind, St. Louis' University in Baguio City has been regarded as one of the best in developmental psychology (currently considered as a viable alternative to clinical psychology). Likewise, the De La Salle University in Manila, a member of the colloquially regarded "Big Four Universities," is gaining traction for their clinical program very recently.
Focusing on a school's reputation is not enough, however. What, us, clinical psychology hopefuls often look over is the training itself. Circling back to my guide questions on goal setting, preferences often come into play when deciding your training. For most, who prefer a general track in clinical psychology, many schools offer a flexible education to ensure you get the wide knowledge of the field, without undermining the core or essentials. Others may teach clinical psychology in a more specific way, favoring practical experiences like internships over theorizing in the classroom. Factors like faculty composition and expertise, paradigm, and school culture often influence how these training programs are developed. What I find helpful to attain this information is to ask these departments and institutions directly. Another approach is asking a friend taking up a program in that school. No harm in inquiry! Ask away.
Of course, like what I have also emphasized in this article, is the sensitive yet important issue of money. To be specific, your tuition. Clinical training in the Philippines ranges from ₱10,000 to ₱50,000.00 a year. The trend (as I've observed from applying in different schools) is that the more privatized and more "complex" the education, the higher the cost. Public schools often come cheaper than private schools. Consider your capacities for funding your education (including where it comes from) and weigh it with your preferences to make an optimal choice of school or program.
A popular notion among graduate students, or those heading into graduate school, is that public schools, like where I study, often take longer to finish a master's degree than others. Well, there are many factors to this. One is faculty size, for example. How many qualified teachers does the school have that supplies a smooth progression for a graduate student to complete their degrees? Another factor - which many often forget to attribute as well - is the student's motivation. It is not uncommon for a graduate student to fluctuate in wanting to accomplish their degrees. It really depends on how determined one is to see things through (which takes a lot of doing, if I do say so myself).
Overall, choosing a school is much less of an issue when it comes to time, but more so when it comes to practicality. In my opinion, any school that gives you basic competencies, regardless of reputation, is enough. In fact, most of my supervisors did not even settle for their graduate training alone. The field of clinical psychology (much like the other fields) is ever changing and adapting to the times. You often find a lot of trainings, seminars, and specialization programs that practitioners study or enroll in order to keep their practice up to date and ethical. Learning and personal growth, especially as clinicians, should not stop after we receive our degrees and licenses. Again, this calls back to the point of keeping an open eye and open mind on the opportunities that come our way.
--
Now that we discussed the first three tips, I plan to take a break here and let you, dear reader, reflect on things that will help you make your headway to that RPsy license. Do more reading. Ask questions. Seek answers. And explore yourself and the world to get a better sense of the pathway ahead.
I do hope that this discussion helps! See you on the next one.
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aal-archaeology · 4 years
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Words from a so-far successful archaeologist (25 years old/recent Ph.D. admit)
Hello Everyone!  I have revived my Tumblr to find many messages asking “what do I do next” when it comes to Archaeology/Anthropology. So I thought I’d create a post explaining what I went through to get to where I am now, and hopefully give some information to those who are pondering on the next steps to take in this truly wonderful field of study.  Quick academic about me: 
Undergrad: Ivy League, Major: Anthropology-Geography, Minor: Religion
After Undergrad: 1 year of Cultural Resource Management (CRM) & Substitute teaching
Graduate School: England MSc in Archaeological Information Systems
After Graduate: 10-month long research grant in Cambodia
Now: (USA)  Ph.D. Candidate in Anthropology, Archaeology Track
I come from a low-middle class family, all of my academics have been funded through financial aid or through grants that I’ve applied for. A lot of the time school and research can get expensive, but that doesn’t mean you have to be wealthy to pursue it!
Per usual, please feel free to DM me at any point with questions (here or IG @ aal.archaeology), I’m always happy to help to the best of my ability. Success in this field is really dependent on networking!
I’ll set this up based on the various landmarks of my academic career: 
1. Undergrad
Themes: Ask for help, build your resume, write down everything
No matter where you are going to school, it is so so so important to use the resources around you. Becoming a professor is HARD work, and each one of your professors went through a lot to be able to stand in front of you and teach you. They’ve likely had years and years of research experience, which is probably still happening behind the scenes of teaching and grading papers. More often than not, professors want to help you, they want students to be excited about the research they’ve worked so hard on, and they want to do what they can to help you achieve your career goals.  Therefore, if there’s a class you’ve taken or a professor whose research you’re interested in, tell them. This is how I got my first experience with archaeology (before I even knew that I wanted to do archaeology). I randomly took an Anthropology class that sounded cool, and after the first class, I was like WOW I love this topic so much and I really want to know more about it. I went up to the professor that was teaching it, told her I was really interested and asked if she knew of any research opportunities available. She then hired me as a student researcher in her lab to do data entry for one of her archaeological projects in Mesoamerica, and after working for her for a few months, she asked me if I wanted to go with her and her team to Mexico for fieldwork. 
         (my timeline at this point: 19 years old, end of Sophomore year)
From this experience, I learned how to apply to grants within the University and funding outside of the University, and was able to FULLY fund my research experience in Mexico. During this fieldwork, I got to work with 3000-year-old artifacts, do archaeoillustration, and eventually got my own chapter published in the book that my professor wrote about the research that was done.
After I got back from Mexico, I started exploring archaeology further. A new professor entered the department who specialized in “digital archaeology,” and his research involved tracking looting patters in Syria using satellite imagery. I thought this was crazy so I then went up to him and asked if I could help him with his research. (the common theme throughout this entire process is just asking for help). From this experience, I learned that I loved the possibilities that technology brought to the study of archaeology, everything from 3D modeling to identification of sites in satellite imagery to spatial mapping in GIS. With this professor, I was able to form an “internship” with him, and continued doing that and other minor projects within the department. I ended up modifying my major to incorporate coursework from the Geography department and created my own “Digital Archaeology” major.
        (my timeline at this point: 22 years old, Senior year)
As graduation began to creep closer, I had been able to get a good amount of lines on my resume. I had:
research assistant/ data entry
fieldwork in mesoamerica
x2 internships with digital archaeology prof
multiple “small” projects around the department i.e. making posters, painting 3D prints of bones,
all of the coursework I had done on GIS/ relevant digital experience
started a drone club at my school (it flopped, but it still counts as a line on the resume!)
All of these lines became useful when starting to think of jobs and the “next step”
UNDERGRAD HIGHLIGHTS & TAKEAWAYS:
Ask for help, your professors are there for a reason, it will almost always lead you to new opportunities. These relationships last well beyond your graduation and definitely come in handy later, make it count!
Write down EVERYTHING that you do. Did you help out with a conference? Write it down. Did you do a couple hours of data entry? Write it down.
Follow your leads! I started my anth journey in Mesoamerica and ended my undergrad in Near Easter digital archaeology (and I entered college wanting to do astronomy?). Change is natural, let it happen.  
2. Gap Year Between Undergrad and Grad School
Highlights: Job applications, field school, CRM, uncertainty
Something that I was always told during my undergrad was that you really need to do a field school and some CRM to be taken seriously post-grad. This shows that you actually want to be an archaeologist outside of the classroom environment. Field Schools and CRM give you valuable experience such as: excavation methodology, report writing, grant applications, teamwork, leadership, etc. 
I started applying for jobs probably about 5 months before I graduated and ended up securing a job at a CRM company in LA. They liked how much I had done during my undergrad, but they really wanted me to have a field school under my belt before I started working for them. Because I had already graduated and didn’t need course credit, I was able to do my field school at a discounted price (these things really do get expensive, and this was a difference of about $2k). I think this worked out in my favor waiting until the summer after I graduated because it saved me a lot of money in the end. 
After my field school was done, I started work that September in CRM. This job ended up being nothing like what I thought it would be, to be honest. I was an Archaeological Field Technician that was part-time/on-call, meaning I only got work when they needed someone to go monitor a construction site. I only got work once every month, sometimes every couple of months, so I was making hardly any money. I realized this quickly and decided to become a substitute teacher to supplement the CRM job. I HIGHLY recommend doing this if you end up in the same situation. Not only does subbing fill up all of your non-working days, but it also gives you the flexibility to choose when you can work and gives you teaching experience that you can put on your resume. That CRM experience can be really important, so it’s good to stick it out long enough to quit.
      Why didn’t I like CRM? For me, my job was very sparse, included driving long hours to a construction site, sitting there all day in case archaeological material popped up, and then driving home. Sometimes it was just walking back and forth across a massive field full of cow poop looking for arrowheads, and often it felt like I was just clearing land so that a big building could be erected. I was really missing the research component to all of it. The pay was also not great. 
GAP YEAR HIGHLIGHTS AND TAKEAWAYS:
What I got from this year was very valuable, even though it wasn’t necessarily that fun, however. 
I got the experience I needed in CRM
I got some teaching experience (also volunteered to mentor clubs and research at local high schools during this time)
I started doing some networking (I found some alumni that were doing work that I wanted to be doing and reached out to them)
and most importantly, I realized that I really do love school and wanted to go back for my Masters
So I started looking into Masters's programs. This is kind of a scary thing especially in the US because school is expensive. I still really wanted to do Digital Archaeology, and I couldn’t find a single program in the US had a focus in this topic, and especially couldn’t find one that I was willing to pay for. 
The UK, however, had plenty of Digital Archaeology programs, and the programs were only a year long and a fraction of the price in the US. I decided to take a chance and apply, got in, and then suddenly I was moving to England. (in hindsight I really didn’t spend much time at all making this decision, but it worked out in the end). 
3. Masters Program
         (my timeline at this point: 23-24 years old)
I chose the program I applied to based on its focus on the techniques that I wanted to use, namely, remote sensing, GIS, and 3D modeling. I really wanted a degree qualification that spoke for itself, and therefore applied for an MSc in “Archaeological Information Systems.” 
I had done some networking during my gap year and connected with an alumnus who was doing research in Cambodia using digital methods, and she offered me the opportunity to join her fieldwork. I agreed to join her in Cambodia during my degree, and also applied for a research grant for the year following my master's degree to continue fieldwork in Cambodia. 
I used this opportunity to fuel my dissertation topic and focused all of my writing and coursework throughout my grad school experience around Cambodia. While I was surrounded by people studying Roman architecture and Medieval Studies, I spent my time doing independent work and building a network in Cambodia. 
This program was a great experience for the most part, I was surrounded by beautiful medieval architecture and had a great community throughout. I personally didn’t really like the UK school system compared to what I had received in the US, however. This was largely because of the way coursework was set up. (If you want to know more just DM me).
MASTERS HIGHLIGHTS AND TAKEAWAYS:
Follow networking opportunities, and find someone doing what you want to do (or close to it) and let them help you take the steps to get there
If you’re going to do grad school, do it in something you know you love. Don’t waste money on a program that isn’t right for you.
Make sure that the program you apply to allows for flexibility so that you can do research on what YOU want, not what THEY want.
Halfway through my Master's degree, I received word that I had been accepted for the research grant (Fulbright) and would spend the next year living in Cambodia doing independent research.
4. Gap Year Between Masters Program and PhD
If you’re planning on a Ph.D., I think its a really good idea to do something before applying that relates to what you want to be studying. This shows that you’re dedicated to your research and to a life in academia, and have the ability to produce something from your work. 
My master's degree was nice because 1) it was short, only a year-long, and 2) allowed me to focus research on what I was interested in. This gave me the experience I needed to lead into a year of independent research.
This year of independent research was definitely contingent on receiving the grant in the first place, and I think that I would have started job searching again had I not received it. However, the small things I did leading up to applying for it really helped in qualifying me to receive it. 
     I had:
All of the undergraduate research experience
CRM experience
teaching experience
fieldwork experience
a master’s degree that focused on the region 
established a network of people in the country beforehand
a couple “publications” from fieldwork 
This grant fully funds me living in Cambodia, and has allowed me to participate in cultural exchange with some amazing people here in addition to allowing me to partake in archaeological fieldwork across the country. 
Again, I cannot stress enough how important it is to network. If you like something, find someone else who likes the same thing, send them an email.
Networking got me my experience in Mesoamerica, Digital Archaeology, my CRM job, my research experience in Cambodia, and so so much more. All because I sent that first email.
5. PhD Applications
I applied to 1 school. I got in. Its a really good school. I’m still in shock. 
However, I think I really did set myself up for success in this one. 
The biggest advice I can give in the world of Academia is:
NETWORK
Talking to people who have gone through what you’re going through are the BEST help. They can mentor you through these experiences, offer you new opportunities, or lead you in the direction of someone else who can help.
PLAN AHEAD (but be open to change)
Okay, so you’re applying to grad school. What do you want to focus on while you’re there? What do you want to do with the degree when you’re done? Do you want to start working? Do you want to do more research? What opportunities are out there for research funding? What is the job market looking for? Is there anyone in my network that can help me get there?
None of these have to be concrete plans, they just have to exist in some shape or form so that you have the ability to latch on to one when the opportunity arises.
If you’re doing something that you love doing, you’ll find a way to make it happen. All opportunity comes from the amount of effort you put into getting it! Thanks for reading and best of luck on your studies! Also Happy Anthropology Day! :)  -Lyss 
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classof99 · 3 years
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INTRODUCTION
Someone, somewhere, likely with a vague spectrum of power and a cruel sense of humor, decided that forcing teenagers to sit through four long years of the unmitigated hell wasn’t enough. There had to be one last “learning” component before students were unleashed into the world – i.e., the commencement speaker...
Mom liked to remind me that I fell asleep during the commencement speech at my high school graduation.
She told the story often and with great relish.
I always knew it was coming at the holidays, because a twinkling lilt would bubble up in her and she’d touch my father’s arm and remind him that local celebrity real estate agent extraordinaire Gary Pace had been our speaker (yes, where I’m from, a real estate agent can attain quasi-celebrity status if he plasters his face on the side of enough public transit). My father would pat my mother's hand in return and shoot me an apologetic look. He knew what was coming.
“We could see him from the nosebleed! Remember, honey?” she'd say to dad, talking about me like I wasn't there. “He was just sitting there and all of a sudden – bloop – his little head drops to one side, and falls onto his neighbor's shoulder,” she said, volume rising, her half-and-half tea slipping over the brim of her glass as she slapped the table in delight.
She'd turn to me directly then:
“How did you manage to fall asleep? During your high school graduation, no less!”
“Well, if you remember I worked – ” but she'd cut me off, not really asking so much as wanting to retell the story.
“ – On, uhm... who was it again?”
“Brian Goodlow”
“BRIAN GOODLOW! That's right. What a lovely boy. Do you still see him?”
You see, what mom remembers the most was the scattered laughter of my classmates as I nodded off, causing Gary Pace to lose his place (we heard later he'd taken it as a personal insult that someone -- me -- dared not to be completely spellbound by the most didactic of commencement speeches).
Not that Gary would have cared, but I had a legitimate excuse. I'd worked the previous night until 3 am as a projectionist at the movie theater. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace had just been released and I was working the midnight screenings.
I don’t remember exactly at what point I fell asleep during Gary's speech, but I do recall waking to find Brian Goodlow gently petting my hair. It was the closest we’d ever been despite always sitting next to each other due to the fact that our last name's occurred alphabetically.
Among the many things we suffered through that day, the most pandering may have been Gary Pace's self-aggrandizing speech itself:
“Dare to dream!”
“March to the beat of your own drum!”
“Live life to the fullest!”
The obvious mistake Gary Pace made here -- one shared by many highly educated alumni-turned-commencement speakers -- was that he should have known that high schoolers so close to receiving their diplomas are BEYOND learning anything new. Like, over it. They’ve spent the last 13 years absorbing every last detail that every well-meaning teacher could cram between their eyes and ears.
But what do we do? Each school invites a speaker, usually an alumni, and in our particular case, the indomitable and balding Gary Pace, to come give a speech to the bright young stars of tomorrow. He'll remind us that, decades before, he sat in the very same spot with the same ambitions we hold deep, and would serve up an onslaught of platitudes and non-sequiturs of what he'd learned since.
But we, as with most graduating classes, were a captive audience of malcontents, sweating profusely underneath our caps and gowns, generally unfazed by the generic one-size-fits-all life advice being hurled at us from notecards at the podium. I was very busy pondering that things that came next: freedom and what I could only hope would be an endless summer between me and the next four years of college.
We were the class of 1999 — the last graduating class of the millennium (also known as BCC: Before Common Core). Not since the class of 999 had there been so much self-appointed pressure for a class to “go out and do great things” – thank you, Gary, for that pearl.
While I’d like to believe that we all went on to do great things for ourselves and for society, I know it’s simply not true. Not to say that none of us did anything great, just not all nearly four hundred teenagers sitting in that auditorium that May afternoon in 1999 did. Some of us grew up, other didn’t. Some of us succeed and yet others failed and fell down. Some of us didn’t even make it far enough to note a difference.
To frame the stories that follow, please understand a few things (I’m looking at you Gen-Z)... The class of 1999 was born in 1980-81. We were the “Me Generation”, the tail end of Generation X. Latchkey kids who spent summers with MTV on while our parents were at the office. We microwaved our grilled cheeses on Styrofoam plates even though we kinda knew better. Smoking was still cool, kinda. We made it through high school without cell phones, e-mail or any relevant use of the internet which, in hindsight, has probably saved us all from a lot of embarrassment as adults. A weekend might involve a trip to the local music shop to, ya know, buy CDs. How downright old-fashioned!
But, perhaps most importantly, for the purposes of this story anyways, is that when previous generations graduated from high school, they genuinely lost track of each other which is what made a high school reunion so enjoyable. Discovering what became of everyone. Or what didn't. Today with social media, old high school acquaintances tend to circle each other in an uncomfortable, peripheral social media orbit for years and years after graduation. It's much harder to lose track of everyone, which is a true shame, because losing track of everyone after high school is a great and well-earned privilege.
As I sat there, in May 1999, at the end of my high school career, waiting to make my way up to the stage to grab my diploma, I took a moment to absorb the countless young faces around me. In a curious moment of reflection, I wondered what would happen to each of them. Would they achieve what, if anything, they sought to do with their lives. What ironies did the universe have in store for us collectively?
I catch myself remembering certain people at the most random of times – how they were then and what they made of themselves – and can only imagine what Gary Pace might have said about them. It's been my experience that the lessons you learn in real life are hardly close to the vague horseshit you’re lectured with at graduation. In fact, some time’s there no nice way to wrap up the experiences or expectations of life. Some times it just is.
After graduation, I went onto college and kept in touch with a few of my high school friends. We’d get together over summers or Christmas breaks, only to fall away from each other again afterwards. Even when we did get together, it wasn’t as if we were measuring how daring we’d all been, as Gary had suggested. We were just living our lives, however they came.
Most of my classmates went on to do what most adults try and do in the here and now: college, marriage, a few kids, maybe a divorce (but hopefully not), probably a 9 to 5. As it turns out, though, more than a few of my classmates had stories worthy of one of Gary’s platitudes.
Thanks to the unbreakable bond between Brian Goodlow and I, my mother’s general nosiness, and the burdensome genius of Facebook, Instagram, etc., I’ve managed to collect some of the more interesting stories from my class; stories about the things that actually happen after you graduate.
The following stories are true, almost entirely. However, names have been changed, identifying details have been tweaked and obvious things have been left appropriately VAGUE.
Stay awake. This time it’s worth it.
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gofancyninjaworld · 4 years
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OPM manga chapter 119 Review: A Conspiracy?
Buckle up, this review gets long.  I was away on family business for a few days so I missed this one’s drop.  It’s meant though that I’ve had longer to ponder my thoughts. 
Core take away for me is that like Hellfire Flame and Gale Wind trying to recruit Sonic set us up to better understand the Ninja arc when it showed up in the webcomic, this ‘glimpse behind the scenes’ at the conspiracies brewing sight unseen is foundation for what will burst into the open later, apparently from nowhere. 
Anyway, onto the review.  Much more under the cut.  First though, One-Shotter is still alive!  Looks like his mechanised parts are much more extensive than initially appeared. 
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I tell you, it doesn’t pay to be a cyborg hero in OPM. It’s just inviting gratuitous cruelty into your life.
Soon Gets Sooner
This chapter, I honestly expected Drive Knight to just leave with Nyan and stay the international Cyborg of Mystery he'd been to date.  But he stuck around to talk to Sekingar and what we got was a glimpse indeed to the mystery plot that has been brewing from the very start.
We find out just why Drive Knight has a 100% win record: he never, ever fights unless he has carefully studied and formulated an excellent battle plan. Even if it means sacrificing his fellow heroes like pawns.  
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And then things get weird. After offering data on the strong monsters in the MA, Drive Knight changes the subject to asking Sekingar about the state of the Hero Association, being very interested in just which capable heroes were left available to respond and whether or not Blast was likely to attend if the Hero Association were attacked.  And then Drive Knight went into full tin-foil hat conspiracy mode, painting the loss of the Metal Knight as a deliberate action by Dr Bofoi to gift the Monster Association with the way to take out the Hero Association.
When Sekingar spoke of not expecting the support heroes to carry out their mission without injury, I’m sure he couldn’t have imagined ending up a casualty.  When he tries to call the Hero Association to check, none other than G5 shows up to shoot his hand off.  As G5 approaches, Drive Knight makes no move to either attack G5, claiming lack of power, nor to protect Sekingar.  Even in extremis though,  Sekingar is still thinking about the support team, the hostage, and what action he could yet take.  Truly, a hero is being forged before our eyes.  He just has to survive the experience.
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‘Why not me?’ That’s the central question heroes ask themselves.
Fee, Fi, Do, Fum, Cinderella's At The Ball
We'd seen Garou, who I'd dubbed Sleeping Beauty awaken from his unconsciousness. With a roar, he pummelled PPP into the ground.
Cyborg Cinderella, whom we'd left vacuuming and washing dishes while the others went ahead, may be attending the ball late, but his entrance was no less spectacular. With timing worthy of Saitama himself, just in time, one mighty kick all but split G5 in half, arriving so fast the robot barely had time to register his presence.  It's interesting what summoned him; Saitama's punch may have gotten his attention, but it was G5's energy signature that really got him on scene.
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Insane kicks, flips -- and upgrades
Kuseno magic extends to clothes: the last time he used Jet Drive Arrow, he ended up naked. Now Genos isn't just very fashionably dressed, but his raiments are fire-resistant and wonderfully form-hugging.  Until the clock strikes twelve (or ten in his case), he is here to cut some terrifying shapes.
And now all the pieces are in play.
The chapter ends suddenly and ominously.  On one side, we have Genos asking, looking about as cunning as a newborn lamb, what’s going on: 
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On the other, if it’s possible for an expressionless face to look unamused, then the very cunning Drive Knight looks most unamused:
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Meta: “The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.”  
 -- from the webcomic ‘Schlock Mercenary’ (more here)
I’d wondered why ONE had split Genos off from the rest, in difference to the was he’d gone together with the rest in the webcomic.  It was definite that ONE intended to test Genos in a situation where he had no support, bu the potential for him to discover something new and relevant to his quest is the last thing I expected. 
A peek behind the scenes indeed!  Where from and why Genos came to fetch up at Saitama’s door in chapter 7, telling a tale of evil cyborgs and total extermination, we know not.  It’s seemed increasingly far-fetched as nearly nothing happened with that storyline and the monsters we meet have nothing to do with the sort of intelligences behind any such cyborg.  It’s led to some, too many, fans claiming that in that absence the ‘mad’ cyborg must be Genos himself  -- in a twist of logic too stupid for real life  [Then again, the typical SF story seems to be written by an individual who never met an actual human being...].  I don’t know about the veracity of 90% of what Drive Knight said, but there is a conspiracy indeed. 
So, now we get to understand a bit more about Drive Knight. It’s something I’ve long wondered about:
The thing about Drive Knight is that he hasn't told us who he is yet. At present, he's a blank slate for whom many alignments are possible without betraying who he is. He could be entirely a hero, just acting in ways that are more independent than most would appreciate. He could be a member of The Organization, acting as a mole in the Hero Association. He could be an entirely amoral person, aligning himself to one group or another as suits his goals and all would be consistent with what we don't know about him. Once he declares who he is, we'll be down to many fewer possibilities.  -- myself, Reddit post   
“Everything that can be used must be used.”  With that, Drive Knight has finally told us who he is.   He is highly calculating and will use anything he can to achieve his ends.  At the expense of anyone and anything. 
What to make of all of this? One thing we can be certain of. Drive Knight really hates Bofoi, considers him a threat and reads the worst possible motives into his actions. He wastes no time in trying to sew suspicion about Bofoi whenever possible.   Why?  We don’t know. 
At its most benign, Drive Knight may be like Zombieman and the House of Evolution, seeing evil in Metal Knight and a grand conspiracy where none actually exists.   A less benign possibility is that Drive Knight may be projecting his ambitions onto Metal Knight and describing what he fears Metal Knight has in possession in order to thwart them (whoever ‘them’ is). 
Since we as readers have a quasi-omniscient view of the story, we know that quite a lot of what Drive Knight said about Metal Knight is factually wrong.  We know that he is wrong bout the circumstances under which Bofoi lost the Metal Knight.  We know that he is wrong about its fate.  We know most of all that he is absolutely wrong about Bofoi wanting the capable heroes scattered or defeated.  Dr. Bofoi has been furious with the Hero Association executives for risking the lives of any heroes raiding the Monster Association precisely because he feared what might happen if the ranks of the heroes were thinned. 
Interesting that G5 is definitely its own entity!  Once I realised that the tactical transformations formed around Drive Knight, I’d started to entertain the possibility that the two of them were the same.  That said...
I could well understand Drive Knight having done his own work to understand the nature of the strong monsters actually in the Monster Association base.  However, there is one piece of information G5 has that it could not have reasonably obtained without Drive Knight sharing it. 
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When they ran off a second time, they ran off separately.   More pertinently, there’s no reason for G5 to show Sekingar this information: it puts psychological pressure on him, but if G5 just wants to kill him, there’s no point to it.  Instead, Drive Knight drawing attention to the support team and G5 drawing attention to the hostage act as a double-team interrogation to see if Sekingar has some way yet of reaching Blast in time of most extreme need. 
We’ve also learned that Blast is all but retired. It falls into line with what we've gleaned from the webcomic and suggests that he's quite old.
He's just a poor boy from a poor family: spare him his life!  (and limbs)
Dr Kuseno's occasionally prodding Genos to not forget his primary task of finding the 'mad' cyborg, as well as his warning not to fight it alone both make great sense.   In OPM, you get good at what you actually  practice.  Fighting monsters as a hero has been very useful for Genos developing raw fighting prowess. It has done nothing to prepare him to face the cruel, conniving, and creative people that the not-quite-mad cyborg and those behind him are.  Watching Genos ask straightforwardly what the situation and contrasting it to Drive Knight's complicated narrative was to realise how painfully naive Genos is. 
It's all very well to counsel non-engagement, but you deal with the monster before you: situations aren't neat and don't wait until you feel prepared. I'd hoped for another conversation between Genos and Drive Knight but this looks far more dangerous.  I've no doubt that Genos won't die, but his participation in this battle could be VERY short.
So many ways this story could wend.  A few that come to mind:
The most tragic:Drive Knight convinces Genos of his predicament, perhaps offering data on the cadres as a sweetener and Genos escorts him and the fallen heroes out of the war zone.  As soon as Drive Knight is sure Genos is safely underground, he'll kill Sekingar... and probably the support heroes into the bargain. If he burns them, the only fire-wielder known is Genos.  If he's really clever, catching up with Waganma and Food Battler, dragging them back and burning them too creates a compelling narrative of Genos (already suspected of colluding with the monsters) waylaying the support heroes as they tried to retreat and killing them all.  Drive Knight can show up at the Hero Association and continue his activities. No witnesses, a convenient scapegoat, and near total freedom to carry on his agenda.
Mortal combat. No matter what changes to the webcomic ONE has planned, Genos isn't about to get killed, so Drive Knight is either going to have to run for it or else get killed. Knowing who Drive Knight is, there is no possibility that he would defeat Genos and leave the latter alive -- even if he were that careless, Genos announcing that any enemy that gives him trouble will find that he comes back very quickly and very much stronger would put paid to that. (yes, he’s so naive!)    Either way, Drive Knight won't be working as a hero any longer.   For Genos, victory is likely to be expensive -- he runs the risk of sustaining critical damage, which will force him to retreat, or of wasting precious, precious energy that he could really use later.   Very interesting repercussions will definitely follow.
Hit him in the heroism. Drive Knight could use the heroes and Sekingar as hostages and get Genos to allow him to leave unmolested. He won't be coming back to the HA but it looks like he knows all he needs to. Genos won't like it, but as a person who has long established his willingness to take incredible punishment to protect others from harm, he won't have any other course of action.  I suspect that this is the most likely outcome.
Whatever actually happens! Only ONE (and Murata) know.  I know I need the next instalment!
Bonus question. Where is the cat?  Drive Knight dropped it when G5 showed up and it hasn't been in evidence since.
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amycathryn · 6 years
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Being Spiritual
Well, what is spirituality?
"Religion is belief in someone else’s experience. Spirituality is having your own experience."  -- Deepak Chopra
Is it a thing? Does it mean I have to go buy a bunch of crystals, sell Young Living and do the yoga? Not Exactly.  
It's up to you
Spirituality is religion, individualized. It incorporates absolute truths found across most love-based religions, such as karma, loving your neighbor, belief in a higher power, and generally being a good person. But it primarily regards your personal, unique metaphysical experiences and discoveries. To be a spiritual person means to be someone who discovers divine truths in your own subjective way. You may have different experiences than others, but those experiences are truths to you that you deeply believe in. Honoring those truths in your own way is what being spiritual means.   
The differences between religion and spiritualism
Religion has a place
Before I say anything else, know this: both are important. Both have their place in this world. Why a person would choose one over the other is going to be a deeply personal decision. The benefits of both religion and spirituality are uniquely different, but beneficial nonetheless. Claiming one as better than the other is a form of judgement, and thus unvirtuous to one's own practice. 
Religion is a necessary and beneficial part of the human experience because some people need (and prefer) structure in their spiritual development. It provides guidance for those who resonate with organized religion, as opposed to the highly subjective experiences of spirituality.
Of course there have been (and will be) those who warp religion for their own gain, but that isn't something we can control. Nor should it be a reason to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Religion has its place in this world, as there are many who would have difficulty developing spiritually without it.   
Spirituality too
That being said, spirituality has its benefits too. In recent years, there has been a shift away from organized religion towards spiritualism. I feel this is for multiple reasons, some economic, some generational, but mostly because many people who are independent are looking for spiritual truths and answers that don't make them feel dependent on someone or something. 
The benefits of spirituality include its highly individualistic and subjective nature. It is a way to build a relationship with the divine for some who may feel too dependent or reliant on organized religious doctrines they may not resonate with. There are those who are concerned with spirituality-based pursuits (usually people who follow organized religion) as something of a metaphysical "buffet" where one can pick and choose what they believe in and practice, but that's the very nature of spiritualism. As a spiritualist, what you believe in is your truth. It's only natural for the spiritual beliefs of an individual to not align with many religious doctrines. Spiritualism is a solution for those who seek answers and fulfillment beyond the limits and rules of organized religion. As long as you've got love in your heart, respect others, and are trying to be a better person, how does that harm others?  
Now for the differences
Religion has an existing set of rules, ideas, and doctrines—spirituality...not so much
Religion is organized and designed for group worship, while spiritual beliefs are very personal and therefore not as naturally designed for organization or group settings
Religion has (generally speaking) relative truths that can conflict with other religions, while spirituality follows absolute truths found in most religions (as mentioned earlier such as karma, loving your neighbor, do no harm, etc...)
Religions can seek to discredit each other's belief systems, while spirituality focuses on validating the individual experiences we have with the divine—even if they are not the same or interpreted in a similar way  
You can be both
Yes, you can be both religious and spiritual—to the extent you feel your religious beliefs allow. Being spiritual isn't a religion unto itself per se (unless you're specifically talking about the religion of spiritualism, which is similar but technically not the same as what I'm talking about in this blog). No, spirituality is your personal faith and relationship with the divine. When you are religious, you can be spiritual too, because you're diving even deeper into your faith than the limits religious doctrine can go. Being spiritual is something you can practice every moment of every day. To be spiritual and religious mean to explore what your religion means to you as an individual, in a loving and personal way.   
How to explore your spirituality. 
Exploring your spirituality means going deep. It means asking the big questions about what you believe in, and why. It's a leap of faith (so to speak), and it takes time. We don't find all of the spiritual answers in an instant—sometimes finding what it means to be "spiritual" within ourselves takes years of pondering, inflection and self-discovery. But below are a few handy methods to becoming a more spiritual person.  
Meditation
I've talked about meditation before in a previous blog post, but it comes in handy here, too. Someone once said, "Prayer is talking to God, meditation is listening" and its true. The more you meditate, the easier it is to notice the signs from the Universe and be fully present in the moment. It's like shutting down all the background programs on your computer, or just giving it a reboot altogether. Meditation allows you to clear your mind and focus on things more easily.   
Spiritual Guidance
Since spirituality isn't really organized, it doesn't exactly have a Bible you can go to for guidance. That being said, there are many books out there on spirituality. Books by Ekhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra and Doreen Virtue are great places to start. Here's a list of some other books that would also be a great place to start. It is best, however, to go with your gut and use discernment when you read spiritual books. Your spirituality is what you make of it—go with what resonates with you.   
Look for the signs
Yes, the Universe is talking to you! Get a dream journal and start jotting down your dreams. Notice any trends or symbols? Write down unusual feelings or visions or thoughts you've had lately—how are they relevant to your present situation? Look for synchronicities, such as number sequences or words people say. Pay attention to the animals that cross your path—and do research on animal totems and their meanings. The more you listen, take notes and pay attention—the easier it will be to hear the signs.   
Spend time in nature
Nature was the first church. Before people made buildings to worship in, they did so outside (just ask the druids). Aside from being a wonderful way to energetically purify and ground, nature is a great place to connect with the divine. Being outside allows us to take a step back and get a good perspective on things, and maybe even get some inspiration (just ask Ralph Waldo Emerson). It's also a great place to listen and receive signs from the universe. Divine thoughts and feelings have a funny way of flowing into someone while in nature more so than anywhere else.   
Mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness is a great way to be more aware of yourself, your spiritual progress, and be fully present in the moment. It's also a great way to quiet your mind (aside from meditation) that can allow you to receive messages from the divine. Mindfulness is a way to perform a "self-check" and open up to hear the Universe in a better way.  
Gratitude
Last but not least, there's gratitude. For the longest time, I was a very pragmatic individual. In many senses, I still am. But I learned how to shift from being a "Negative Nancy" to a more positive, grounded person through being thankful and grateful. I started practicing finding 3 things I was grateful for every day and forced myself at the end of the day to recognize them—even if they were small, silly and insignificant to anyone else but me. Then as the weeks and months passed, I noticed a shift—I began to think more positively about things, and situations I used to be upset about, no longer bothered me as much. I owe that to practicing gratitude. 
It isn't easy, though. Well, it is and it isn't. If you're like I was and find it hard to be a "sunny-side up" kinda person, know that gratitude as a default mindset takes time because you're literally rewiring your brain. Give yourself some patience. Even if you can't find 3 things to really be thankful for, you can always be thankful for the fact that you're alive. Other ways of practicing gratitude are thanking the universe for things more often. Say thanks for that parking spot, or the ability to drive a car. Try and take a moment to breathe and be thankful for everything you have at this moment. 
 In Conclusion
Spirituality and being spiritual is ultimately what you make of it. There are no official rules or things you must do. Just be honest with yourself and what it means to be closer to what you consider to be divine. Go with the tools and materials that resonate with you, and respect the things that don't. Be authentic, and know that your relationship with the divine will be authentic, too. 
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lelou-quotes · 3 years
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A few weeks ago, Jennie and I were sitting at brunch with a group of friends. (Yes, I go to brunch sometimes. I’m not gonna apologize for it; brunch is delightful.) About halfway through our meal, someone brought up the topic of self-comparison.
All of us at the table agreed that we’ve been guilty of this particular behavior, and wondered why — despite our ages and accomplishments — we continued comparing ourselves to other people, even though we knew it was a pointless and often destructive tendency.
That’s when John, who had been quiet throughout this conversation, chimed in.
“Actually, I feel like I compare myself to other people relatively rarely,” he said, with a satisfied smile.
We all looked around at each other, then back at him.
“You mean…compared to other people?” someone else asked.
John stared at us for a moment, then broke into a laugh.
In that moment, we knew that this was one of those secrets we all shared, a habit we just can’t seem to beat, even when it seems like we’ve beat it.
We All Compare Ourselves to Other People
We do this even when the comparisons aren’t meaningful. Even when they make us unhappy. Even when they don’t actually make us better, smarter, or more productive human beings.
And we seem to be doing it more and more — as if this plague of constant self-comparison really only became a phenomenon in the last five years. Which, in a big way, it has, but we’ll get to that in just a minute.
So why do we compare ourselves to other people?
Is there any benefit to seeing how we stack up against others?
And if there isn’t, how can we stop?
Look at Me (Looking at You) (Looking at Me)
We’re designed to understand ourselves. This capacity for self-reflection is one of the defining characteristics of our species. It’s what makes us look up at the stars and ponder our purpose, keeps us from behaving like freshmen on spring break at the office Christmas party, and pushes us to cooperate and compete with the other highly evolved apes we interact with every day.
In other words, we have a fundamental need to evaluate ourselves, and the only way to do that is in reference to something else.
And since we live in a world populated by other life forms that look and behave a lot like us, that something else becomes someone else — other people.
Which is why you’ll compare yourself to a model on the cover of Vogue or the ripped guy in your bootcamp class, rather than your internal standard of beauty or a textbook on human physiology.
When nonsocial concepts aren’t available or compelling enough for comparison — and, spoiler alert, they’re usually not — we’ll start to see how we stack up against other people.
This peculiar drive was first explored seriously by a social psychologist named Leon Festinger in 1954.
Festinger basically said that people evaluate their opinions and abilities by comparing themselves to other people for two reasons:
First, to reduce uncertainty in the areas in which they’re comparing themselves.
And second, to learn how to define themselves.
He called this concept social comparison theory, and it’s one of the biggest contributions to the field of social psychology.
What Festinger really nailed was that human beings can’t actually define themselves intrinsically or independently. They can only define themselves in relation to someone else. When it comes to the big questions of Identity and Self and Who the Hell Am I?, we need to look at other people.
But he actually went a bit further than that, and that’s where things really get interesting.
For one thing, Festinger pointed out that the tendency to compare ourselves to another person decreases as the difference between our opinion or ability and the other person’s increases.
In other words, the more similar we are to another person in some way we think is important, the more we tend to compare ourselves to that person.
That means we’re more likely to compare ourselves to a colleague at our level than we are to the CEO, just like we’re more likely to compare ourselves to a runner in our weekly running group than we are to Usain Bolt. The difference between you and Usain Bolt is astronomical, but the difference between you and another amateur runner is probably quite small — which makes them a more attainable, and therefore compelling, comparison.
Festinger also pointed out that when we stop comparing ourselves to other people, we often experience hostility and derogation toward those people — as long as continuing to compare ourselves to them brings unpleasant consequences.
In other words, if we stop comparing ourselves to that super fit runner in our running group because it’s making us feel bad, then we’ll tend to deal with those feelings by mentally tearing them down. If we can’t deal with the negative feelings of the comparison, then we’ll swap them for more “helpful” ones — anger, hostility, or a tendency to simply write the other person off.
(If you’ve ever felt a twinge of envy about someone close to you, and then found yourself subtly turning against them in your mind, then this process will sound familiar. It’s a strange script that all of us have running in the background to keep us feeling secure in our positions and self-concepts. Oh, humans.)
Finally — and this is probably the most important thing for us — Festinger pointed out that the more important we think some particular group of people is, the more pressure we’ll feel to conform to that group in our abilities and opinions.
In other words, we’ll feel more pressure to kick ass in our SoulCycle class than we will to perform like a random group of cyclists on the street. The difference is that we think our SoulCycle class is a more important comparison group, whereas the ability of some random cyclists on the street probably matters very little.
(Which, if you think about it, helps explain why we pay so much for those SoulCycle classes. We pay because we think the group is important, but we also think the group is important because we pay — and because everyone else is paying, too. Crazy hall of mirrors, right?)
Now, all of this might sound pretty obvious. We know we have a need to compare ourselves. We know we tend to compare ourselves to people who are similar to us. We know that we compare our abilities and our opinions to groups we deem important. And we know that that comparison often dredges up some unpleasant feelings.
So what? Isn’t that just the way we’re designed? And don’t we need to compare ourselves to other people in order to know how we’re doing? Otherwise, why would we become better? Is comparing ourselves to other people really so bad?
Great questions.
To answer them, we need to understand why we’re comparing ourselves in the first place.
Self-evaluation vs. Self-enhancement
For years, I listened obsessively to as many podcasts as I could fit into my day. I’d take walks to Terry Gross, make lunch to an up-and-coming amateur interviewer, and fall asleep to Larry King. In a given week, I’d listen to dozens and dozens of podcasts all across the spectrum, from poor to amazing, niche to mainstream.
All the while, I’d be taking mental notes, picking up tricks and tips, trying to see where I fit in the podcast hierarchy, figuring out how I stacked up against my idols and my peers. I did all this in the name of research, as a way of gathering new skills and measuring my progress along the way.
Sometimes listening to these shows would leave me swollen with excitement and pride. Hah! I’m totally better than these guys! I can do this! I’m putting out a kick-ass show!
Other times, listening to them would leave me confused and dejected. Man, I’ve got a lot to learn. I’ll never be as good as these guys. What do they know that I don’t?
It took me years to realize that by comparing myself to other people, I was actually doing two things: trying to figure out how good I actually was, and trying to make myself feel better.
Recognizing the difference between these two motivations for comparison is the key to separating out healthy comparison from unhealthy comparison.
Let’s return to the example of the colleague at work.
Say you compare yourself to Andrea in marketing — she’s the same age, has the same position, and has a similar talent and ability. Out of all the people in the department, Andrea’s the most compelling to compare yourself to, because her skill level is comparable and attainable, and because she’s part of a group (your company) whose opinion matters to you.
So when you’re sitting in a meeting with Andrea, you’ll probably find yourself wondering how you stack up. Do I present as well as she does? Do people care what I say as much as they care about what she says? Are my Excel models as solid? Do people find me as trustworthy and insightful? These questions arise automatically and often unconsciously — as if just by being near Andrea, you can’t help but wonder how you compare.
Behind these questions, though, you’ll notice a few different motivations.
One motivation is to understand the objective quality of your work.
When you compare your presentations to Andrea’s, you’re trying to understand whether your presentations are as interesting, and how they could improve. When you study the way the rest of the team responds to her recommendations, you’re trying to gauge whether your colleagues feel similarly about you, and how you might become more authoritative, convincing, or influential.
In that scenario, Andrea becomes a sort of benchmark — a source of feedback you can use to become better. She’s a model for the level of ability you’re striving toward. She’s a way for you to assess yourself against a relevant source of comparison. That’s not only normal, but essential.
A very different motivation behind the comparison to Andrea is to see yourself more favorably.
From this perspective, when you compare yourself to Andrea, you’re looking to her to help build up your sense of self. When you compare your presentations, you’re looking to feel better about your own persona and style. When you study the way your colleagues respond, you’re looking to confirm that you’re the more talented and respected colleague, that people take you as seriously, that you have more authority or influence or charisma in the office.
In other words, you’re not studying Andrea to improve your self-evaluation. You’re studying her to boost your self-esteem. And that is the kind of comparison that gets us into trouble.
As it happens, this kind of comparison often gives us a very distorted view of ourselves. In fact, research has shown that we tend to prioritize feedback that makes us look good and desirable, and ignore feedback that makes us look weak, undesirable or generally “less than.” So even if we “succeed” in making ourselves feel “better,” our brains are often playing a clever trick with the data we’re using to arrive at that conclusion.
As long as self-enhancement is your goal, then comparing yourself to other people will always make you miserable.
Either your comparison will artificially boost your ego, temporarily making you feel superior to the people you’re comparing yourself to, or your comparison will unearth the vulnerabilities you might not want to face, leaving you exposed to familiar feelings of anger, envy, and shame.
Which brings us back to our original question: Is it really so bad to compare ourselves to other people?
The answer is: it depends.
If we’re comparing ourselves for self-assessment, then wondering how we stack up is natural, healthy, and often very helpful. I’d even argue that it’s necessary.
But if we’re comparing ourselves for self-enhancement, then this process can quickly become obsessive, toxic, and often very confusing.
The problem is that when we compare ourselves, we’re often doing both simultaneously, without even realizing it.
And oftentimes, we think we’re trying to assess ourselves when we’re actually trying to enhance ourselves — which is how we can justify this destructive habit under the guise of “doing our research,” just as I used to do when I listened to all those podcasts.
That’s a trap some of the highest performers in the world can fall into. And it’s one of the biggest paradoxes of self-improvement.
We need to study other people in order to measure our progress. But by measuring our progress, we often end up inflating ourselves, tearing ourselves down, or toggling between one or the other — often at the expense of the people we’re comparing ourselves to.
And those people, in turn, are almost certainly doing the exact same thing with us. And because no one talks about it, we don’t realize that we’re all comparing ourselves to one another in a bizarre, unstable, often toxic hall of mirrors. No wonder all this comparison makes us miserable!
But there’s another reason that comparing ourselves to other people makes us so unhappy. And it has to do with the ideas we already have about ourselves.
Just Tell Me I Am (What I Already Know I Am)
When we compare ourselves to other people, we tend to think of it like fishing: We cast our nets around the people we choose to compare ourselves to, check out the catch of observations that comes back, and then use those observations to form an opinion about ourselves (whether we’re as good, as smart, as talented, as good-looking, and so on).
In reality, the process is much more complicated.
Because when we compare ourselves to other people, we almost always have some preexisting idea about how we stack up. Remember, we’ve been engaging in social comparison since the time we were kids. That means we’ve had years (decades!) to form all kinds of opinions about ourselves — about everything from our professional talents to our social skills, our athletic abilities to our moral standings.
Those opinions are what make up our self-concept and self-esteem. They’re like the scaffolding of our selves, the pylons propping up our identities. Psychologists call these core beliefs self-views, and we carry them around with us wherever we go.
Our self-views are insanely important. They help us make sense of the world around us, and allow us to navigate that world in a way that is safe, coherent, and stable.
For example, if you have a self-view that says I am a capable professional, then that belief is likely to help you to walk into your office with confidence, handle a difficult meeting, and take on a tough new project.
Alternatively, if you have a self-view that says I don’t know enough to be in my position, then that belief will probably make the office a stressful place, encourage you to take a backseat in meetings, and shrink away from more responsibilities.
But here’s what’s interesting: no matter what self-view you happen to hold, that opinion is allowing you to make sense of your world.
With one belief, your world is a positive, promising, growth-oriented place. With the other, it’s a self-conscious, taxing, demanding one.
Either way, the views you hold about yourself will keep that world consistent. And to your mind, it doesn’t matter if those views are totally accurate. It only matters that they work. And they “work” by propping up that self-concept and keeping your world stable and consistent.
So it’s no surprise that these self-views are very precious to us. We need them. And because we need them, our minds become very anxious when those beliefs get threatened. We need to constantly keep feeding them, reinforcing them, building them up.
Because who would we be if we didn’t think these thoughts about ourselves?
What would the world be like without them?
It’s like driving across a rickety bridge every day, knowing that the bridge is in a state of disrepair. The thought of tearing it down and building a new one might be the smartest thing to do, but hey, it’s getting me across, and it’s been getting me across for years, so, you know, maybe let’s just leave the bridge alone. I like this bridge. I know this bridge. Don’t mess with my bridge, man.
So we end up protecting these views about ourselves very carefully. To do that, we seek out feedback that confirms that the office is friendly and exciting or stressful and hostile, depending on which self-view we happen to hold.
Which means that when we compare ourselves to other people, we’re often comparing ourselves with a certain opinion already in mind.
We’re not acting like a blank slate, waiting for comparison feedback to tell us who we are. We already know who we are — or, rather, think we know who we are — and then compare ourselves to others in a way that helps confirm that preexisting belief.
That allows us to maintain the ideas we have about ourselves, so we don’t rock the mental boat too much. It also helps make us stable and predictable to one another, so that when we come across a new person — or interact with an old one — we can predict how they’ll behave and decide how to behave toward them in return. William Swann developed this theory, called self-verification, which was another major contribution to social psychology.
So What Does This All Mean for Us?
Well, two things. Plus some really great news if comparing yourself is making you unhappy.
First, when we compare ourselves to other people, we’re not really comparing ourselves to other people.
What we’re actually doing is comparing our ideas about ourselves to other people — then using our observations about those people to validate those preexisting ideas.
If you think about it that way, you’ve never really compared yourself to another person in your entire life. You’ve only compared your idea about yourself to another person.
What’s more, the last few years have added a whole new level of abstraction to this process in the form of social media.
Now, when we compare ourselves to other people, we’re actually just comparing ourselves to versions of other people — the versions they choose to put out into the world. We’re comparing our blooper reel to someone else’s highlight reel, and judging ourselves against that prettified proxy. This isn’t news, but it’s worth remembering. People’s digital selves are not their real selves, no matter how much time they spend on Instagram or use the word “authentic” or hashtag their photos #nofilter!
That’s why comparing yourself to other people these days feels so much worse than it used to.
Not only are you comparing your idea about yourself to another person, you’re comparing your idea about yourself to someone else’s idea about themself!
And since that person is also comparing their idea about themself to you (and your idea about yourself, and hundreds of other people and their ideas), a huge chunk of life is really just ideas comparing themselves to other ideas.
Which is actually pretty hilarious, once you see it for what it is.
Second, when we compare ourselves to other people, we’re usually just confirming the ideas we already have about ourselves.
In other words, we compare ourselves to other people to verify the self-concepts we already hold, not to develop new or accurate ones.
We look at Bridgette in SoulCycle and think, Yep, I knew it, she’s way more fit than me, I’ll never be in that kind of shape. Or we look at Trevor in marketing and think, Wow, his skills are paying off. If he can get ahead, I can too, I just have to keep putting in the time.
Since the human mind seeks stability and coherence above all else, we’re almost always using those observations to confirm that we’re “right” about the people we think we are. Because if we were truly honest about the comparison data we received, we’d have to rewrite all of our mental models about ourselves and the world.
A person convinced that she’s the greatest employee on earth would have to adjust to the idea that she still has a lot to learn, do, and prove. A person convinced that he’ll never find a partner would have to adjust to the idea that he’s worthwhile, in control, and responsible for his relationships.
For most of us, rewriting those fundamental self-concepts would be terrifying. So we just go on verifying the ones we already have, and we don’t even realize it.
Which is also kind of funny, if you think about it. We spend all this time obsessing about how we stack up against other people, but in many cases, we’ve already made up our minds!
So if comparing yourself to other people is making you miserable, then ask yourself what your motivation for comparing yourself really is.
Is it to assess your abilities and opinions?
Is it to enhance your sense of self about those abilities and opinions?
Or is it to verify the beliefs you already hold about those abilities and opinions?
Many of us will be surprised by the motivations lurking beneath the self-comparison we’re engaged in on a daily basis.
What seems like self-assessment can subtly turn into self-enhancement when we realize we don’t quite stack up the way we’d like.
What seems like self-enhancement can turn out to be self-verification when we realize that we’re seeking out comparisons that reflect the people we believe we are.
And what seems like self-verification can suddenly become true self-assessment when we realize that we’ve only been trying to protect ourselves.
But no matter what your motivation really is, at the end of the day, the buck ultimately stops with you. And that is great news.
Because if self-comparison is making you miserable, then it’s only because of the reasons you’re doing it in the first place, and the ideas you choose to form as a result — both of which are, over time, totally within your control!
Still, we’ll never stop comparing ourselves. Not really. This instinct to self-evaluate, to look to other people for information about ourselves, is deeply wired into our species.
But you can notice the tendency to self-compare, and just by noticing it, refrain from doing it when it’s not truly productive.
And you can investigate your motives for self-comparison, and make sure that you’re comparing yourself for reasons that are productive and healthy, rather than egoistic and toxic.
And, with enough self-awareness, patience, and kindness, you can eventually learn to use that comparison not to unfairly tear yourself down or artificially build yourself up, but to find out — and I mean really find out, for real — if the ideas you hold about yourself are actually accurate.
Starting with the one idea that brought you to this article in the first place.
I need to compare myself to other people in order to be happy.
https://www.jordanharbinger.com/why-you-compare-yourself-to-other-people-and-how-to-stop/#:~:text=Festinger%20basically%20said%20that%20people,learn%20how%20to%20define%20themselves.&text=They%20can%20only%20define%20themselves%20in%20relation%20to%20someone%20else.
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maryisis · 4 years
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A “coming out” post...
I am choosing to participate in a global “coming out” movement called “Thank you Plant Medicine”(TYPM)- (from the website: This movement was born as a response to the stigma in society about the use of psychoactive plants and therapy-assisted psychedelics.We dream of a world where these substances are free from stigma and discrimination, for personal and collective healing.We are organizing a global wave of gratitude for February 20, 2020, calling on people to “come out” with their stories of healing and transformation on that day, using the hashtag #ThankYouPlantMedicine. www.thankyouplantmedicine.com
I would first like to preface by saying that the use of psychoactive/consciousness altering plants or fungi is NOT for everyone and by sharing my perspective I mean in no way to persuade or promote it. Okay? Okay. 
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At the young and seemingly fearless age of fourteen I learned through reading some books and magazines about how a person could consume specific kinds of mushrooms and totally alter and explore their consciousness, and perhaps other dimensions of reality (this was before internet use was widespread). I was utterly fascinated and being the curious and hungry-for-the-meaning-of-life young teen that I was I decided to seek out these magical fungi. It didn’t take me long to find them, with the help of a more experienced person who knew how to find them in the cow pasture.....(Panaeolus cyanescens). I had only read about effects from various books and articles but I really was not prepared at all for what I was about to experience. After consuming who knows how many mushrooms (not very smart...) about 20 minutes later I began to feel my senses becoming highly elevated and intensified. The intensity only grew stronger and stronger, to the point of becoming totally overwhelming with surging feelings and emotions and then also altered perception to the point of only being able to see vibrant pulsating rainbow dripping rootlike formations filling my vision. I had no idea how to navigate this unknown realm of feeling and perception, yet I rode it out meeting the experience with utter awe. Then, I started to feel some background trepidation at how I was supposed to return home in such a state, with it being a school night and all...long story short I made it home safely with my tripper “boyfriend” at the time and he informed my parents what we had done, much to their dismay at seeing their daughter in such a state. I somehow floated up to my room where I spent the remainder of the experience laying in a bed that I felt I was continuously sinking into, watching the trees dance outside my window. I had deep insights that night into the personal truth of my being and regard the experience as a sort of “rite of passage” out of my childhood self. That was 25 years ago. Now in retrospect- had I known how the brain develops, I probably would not have done such a thing...I think there’s something to be said for the importance of having your brain fully developed before altering the brain chemistry ...yet I’m pretty sure I ended up alright and I can’t say I regret any of my use of mind altering substances (ok-except maybe a couple of times....lol). As I said before- I was a very curious soul, and it didn’t take me long to realize that the “Just Say No” propaganda campaign that I grew up with was more than just a war on drugs- it was a war on consciousness. How we got to this point of “mind control” is something to ponder.
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My relationship with psychedelic plants/fungi has changed a lot over the years and I would say that the major shift happened about 19 years ago when I participated in my first plant medicine ceremony. Finally- I got a taste of what my soul has been thirsting for- Ceremony and experiencing the sacred and divine aspects of existence. Rewind-I lived most of my life in a community and area where Cannabis was freely and frequently used recreationally. I also began using cannabis in my teens- in a non-intentional way- not to say that I didn’t have meaningful experiences in that non-intentional context- However I have learned that intention, ritual and/or ceremony can greatly enhance the benefit in the communing with these “entheogens”- a term I like to use which translates literally as “becoming god within.” When I realized the extent as to which the society in  I lived tries to govern our lives- to the point of having laws that make NATURE ILLEGAL- I felt very passionate about RECLAIMING MY BASIC HUMAN RIGHT- to explore my consciousness. When I saw peaceful and kind people I knew facing jail time and/or having their houses taken away because of growing cannabis, it deeply disturbed me. And so my motivation in “coming out” comes from this place within, that believes that it is morally WRONG that plants and fungi that have awesome potential healing value are illegal. Anyone who does their studies of scientific research as well as historical/cultural studies will learn how much value the plant of Cannabis, for example, has for healing. The endo-cannabinoid system of the human body is proof that humans have evolved, in close relationship with this plant. And of course HEMP, which is the non-psychoactive cannabis species has a plethora of amazing uses which would greatly help our society and environment if it were more widely embraced and cultivated.
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Thankfully “the times are a changin!’” More and more studies are being allowed and funded, the laws of the land are starting to change in many places and more and more people are beginning to learn about and honor the deep inherent value of these natural plant medicines. These are exciting times and yet we still have a long way to go! And it is my perspective that we need these plant medicines now more than ever so as to help with the healing of humanity on a spiritual level- to awaken us out of the materialist mindset trance of scarcity, unworthiness, fear and disconnection from nature. The fascinating scientific studies are showing us how the chemicals in these plants and fungi work on the brain, in beneficial ways to help people heal with ailments such as depression, PTSD and anxiety. The healing potential of these plants and fungi have been known for thousands of years to various indigenous cultures, who have kept such wisdom alive throughout the millennia through their initiated healer lineages. It is very important to honor the traditions and lineages from which the traditional ceremonial use of these plant medicines originate from because it is these people that have the deeply developed relationship with these plants and understand them in intimate ways which most western psyche’s do not and I dare say cannot (unless immersed in the studies and apprenticing with these traditional plant medicine healers.) And so while these are hopeful times with potential healing that these plant medicines present our deeply troubled and sick society, we must be mindful that our own egoistic tendencies don’t get the best of us.  I have been working with powerful plant medicines for over 20 years now and I am still most definitely a humble student on the path of healing...still learning the delicate process of surrender to the inexplicable healing powers of these plant teachers and the wisdom teachings and deeply meaningful insights they bestow.
Personally, most meaningful and valuable to my own life, of which I have received from my relationship with plant medicine teachers, namely Ayahuasca and Psilocybin mushrooms, has been my feeling of CONNECTION- Connection to Nature, to Spirit, to everything! In my expanded states I can see clearly how my thoughts and actions affect those around me and the whole. In working with these plants/fungi I naturally gravitated towards living a more healthier lifestyle- being careful of what I choose to consume physically or mentally.  Unhealthy habits steadily and easily fell away. A significant healing aspect of these plant medicines is how they have the capacity to disrupt our conditioned thought patterning- which is a very good thing because much of our behavior and thought processes are governed by our habitual patterning- which keeps us very limited in our perception and what we are capable of experiencing. This can lead in turn to depression, addiction, frustration, and other mental and physical ailments. As we are learning with the exciting field of neuroscience, our thoughts, emotions and perceptions are closely linked and work in a cyclical way. This leads me to honor the ways that these plants have helped me to develop my visionary abilities. One of the most powerful visionary perceptions I have had to date through Grandmother medicine was the experience of perceiving the ALL, underlying state of UNITY- it was an ineffable experience- impossible to put into words- but made a very deep impression on my life and perception of reality. I felt completely liberated from all fear and filled with AWE, totally absorbed in the interconnected matrix of all creation. One more thing. Being a singer and musician- it has been a profound gift and one of my greatest joys to sing my prayers and songs while in communion with plant medicine, in ceremony. I am so deeply grateful for all the plant teachers in my life- they are so dear to my heart and my relationship with each continues to evolve in mysterious and miraculous ways. Deep bows of reverence and respect.
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 One of the main ways I have integrated the visions and insights that I have received from these plants/fungi is through music. I have always been a musical person, since before I could even talk I was already singing. In my life today, Music is a central aspect and purpose of my incarnation. I feel inspired to add here that the wisdom of the Yogic path has also played an equally important role in my evolution- I was introduced to the path of Yoga also at 14, which has helped me immensely on my journey with its ancient and very relevant wisdom teachings of self realization.  I have also always had an interest in the healing plants and started studying herbal healing in depth in my late teens. I have many healing plant allies that I work with on a daily basis. 
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 Above photo with a Chacruna plant, the pair to the Ayahuasca vine, which contains DMT- the potent visionary molecule, belonging to the “Tryptamines,” indolealkylamine molecules, which evoke release of Seratonin and Dopamine. DMT is present naturally in the human body, especially in the gut. But only when paired with a MAOI (Monoamine oxidase inhibitor), which is found in Ayahuasca vine, can this molecule actually have its effects. The MAOI that are in the vine are classified as Beta-carbolines. These very special molecules are Harmine and Harmaline. Below is a photo of Ayahuasca vine Banisteriopsis caapi. Interestingly, when the molecule of harmine was first discovered in the vine, it was called “telepathine,”  because “of the reported effects of Ayahuasca among the indigenous users, including: collective contact with and/or visions of jaguars, snakes, and jeweled birds, and ancestral spirits; the ability to see future events; and as the name suggests, telepathic communication among tribal members.”(from wikipedia)
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Harmine can also be found in Syrian Rue seeds (Peganum harmala) as well as in Passionflower leaf (much lower amounts.) My experiences with Syrian Rue seed (extract) have been very significant actually, while it isn’t really psychedelic all on its own, I highly value the medicine that it is for calming the mind, increasing serotonin and inducing flow states of consciousness. It also creates energetic sensitivity and increased psychic(”telepathine”) ability.  It ALSO is a powerful anti-parasitic- amazingly and much to my shock it rid my body of parasites! Thankfully it is NOT ILLEGAL(except in Australia where its controlled). The studies on Harmine and Harmaline are very promising and are shown to have significant healing properties, such as anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer actions. I’m very enthusiastic for the healing potential of Syrian Rue and Ayahuasca vine! 
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One last thing before I close this share and it has to do with integrity and sustainability. The way I see it is that these plants are coming into prominence in our society right now because they are very much needed for our healing. We are facing various levels of existential crises, and I see these medicines acting like the white blood cells of this earth, to help us humans heal our sickness and reconnect to our sense of purpose and belonging to this world (not the world belonging to us, for our use/abuse). However, we cannot continue to take and take without giving back- that sort of behavior is how we’ve gotten ourselves into this imbalance within ourselves and the planet. It is my prayer and vision that those who are called to plant medicine path, do so with the intention of healing themselves so that they may be of service to the healing of the WHOLE. (There’s a lot more that could be said here about safety, the ceremonial container and the facilitator/shaman/medicine healer that creates the ceremonial container.I would recommend this article for this specific topic). Each person has their own unique calling and purpose in which they can serve the whole and that is for each soul to discover within. We start by healing ourselves...that is the key- because our individual healing ripples out. The healing light and love that we cultivate within shines out to inspire and awaken light and love in others. Our own inner harmony will reflect to the outer world. When we live our lives from a balanced place of “right relationship” and reciprocity, as a result we cultivate more integrity and mutual respect. We must integrate the wisdom we gain into daily practices that anchor more loving kindness and compassion because that is what is needed on this planet. 
Thanks for reading!!
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thesportssoundoff · 7 years
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A Return To Normalcy Through Rotterdam; UFC Fight Card Preview
Joey
August 30th
So y'all ready to get back to common sense yet? If so then the MMA world gets back to doing it's usual with a card from Rotterdam, Netherlands by way of the UFC. It's a Fight Pass show which means its quality ranks somewhere between "Oh that looks intriguing" and "Oh my god what is this garbage?!" It's also been damaged by injuries up and down the build but we can get to that. The headliner is a really intriguing HW fight between former Bellator HW Alexander Volkov and UFC long timer Stefan Struve. The co-main was supposed to be a VERY intriguing on paper fight between Germaine De Randamie and Marion Reneau but GDR pulled out and so Brazilian Talita de Oliveira is tasked with taking the fight. The main card undercard stuff is blecch (Barberena vs Edwards should be dull but important and worth watching) BUT there's some very intriguing preliminary stuff worth keeping your eye on.  It's been a while so let's run through our metrics before we delve into this show:
Fights: 12? (Thibault Gouti vs Andrew Holbrook seems to be confirmed except not really except hold on except yeah except no so...)
Debuts:   7 (Mads Burnell, Talita de Oliveira, Rob Wilkinson, Aleksandr Rakic, Zabit Magomedsharipov, Mike Santiago, Abdul-Kerim Edilov)
Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: (Abu Azatair out, Rob Wilkinson IN vs Siyar Bahadurzada/ Germaine de Randamie out, Talita de Oliveira IN vs Marion Reneau/ Marcos Rogerio de Lima vs Sairbek Saparov cancelled/ Nick Hein out, Mike Santiago IN vs Zabit Magomedsharipov/Islam Mackachev out, Mads Burnell IN vs Michel Prezares)
Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 4 (Marion Reneau, Stefan Struve, Andrew Holbrook, Rustam Khabilov)
Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC:  1 (Thibault Gouti)
Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 6 (Leon Edwards, Alexander Volkov, Stefan Struve, Mairbek Taisumov, Michel Prezares, Rustam Khabilov)
Stat Monitor for 2017:
Debuting Fighters (Current number: 22-20)- Mads Burnell, Talita de Oliveira, Rob Wilkinson, Aleksandr Rakic, Zabit Magomedsharipov, Mike Santiago, Abdul-Kerim Edilov
Short Notice Fighters (Current number: 17-21)- Rob Wilkinson, Talita de Oliveira, Mads Burnell, Mike Santiago
Second Fight (Current number: 22-25)-  Desmond Green, Felipe Silva
Cage Corrosion (8-5)- Siyar Bahadurzada, Mairbek Taisumov, Thibault Gouti
Twelve Precarious Ponderings
1- Let's start with the main event. Along with, say, Curtis Blaydes, Francis Ngannou, Junior Albini and Justin Ledet, it's reasonable to refer to Volkov as one of the fresher faces in the HW division. He's 2-0  in the division with wins over credible names although to deem them impressive wins would probably be stretching it. On the other hand, Stefan Struve is the second longest tenured current UFC heavyweight behind JDS. He probably is what he is; a well rounded competent big guy who will never dance among the elites of the division no matter how many wins he racks up. There is a ceiling and he's just about hit it, incoming jokes about his height aside. At the same time, the same could be said about Alexander Volkov who has already won gold elsewhere, is probably maxed out in terms of his potential and his place in the MMA universe. It's a good fight but one where the only upside for the winner is getting squashed by one of the top stars in the division.
2- Does Stefan Struve finally showcase some head movement in a fight or has that horse left the barn?
3- Stipe probably fights either Cain or Ngannou, JDS is suspended for PEDs, Overeem has fought Struve before, Werdum is fighting Lewis----so who does the winner of this thing face?
4- Bryan Barberena's run since defeating Sage Northcutt; main card fight vs highly touted Warrely Alves, prelim fight against a better version of himself in Colby Covington, undercard rebound fight vs a good fighter in Joe Proctor and now a Fight Pass card fight vs really great stylistic matchup in Leon Edwards. I'm sure it's nothing personal.
5- So one of the things which has been discussed recently is the development of Leon Edwards' overall MMA game and where he can fit into the welterweight scene. Edwards has always showcased solid defensive wrestling but since his loss to Kamaru Usman, it's like he's discovered the importance of offensive wrestling as well.  We've seen his hands before but the challenge is always going to be whether he can show everything all at once (plus unleashing his usually good kicks more consistently) as he moves up the ranks. Edwards could be a sleeper at 170 lbs.
6- Mairbek Taisumov went from potentially fighting Anthony Pettis in the Spring to fighting Felipe Silva on the prelims of a Fight Pass card for no good reason other than that Pettis didn't want the fight (unless there's some VISA issue with Taisumov). MMA is harsh sometimes.
7- I wonder if people realize how good the LW and WW fights on this card are.  Even if I have zeo interest in watching Edwards vs Barberena, it's a worthwhile fight at 170 lbs given that both guys are under 30 at a division that's in need of a few new guys to freshen up the scene a little.  Darren Till vs Bojan Velikovic is a really good fight that figures to be action packed judged by Till's prior performance and Bojan's career resume of crazy action fights. At 155 lbs, Mairbek Taisumov is all action all the time and Felipe Silva had a very impressive UFC debut. Michel Prezares is starting to finish fights now plus you have a debuting fighter in Mads Burnell who will likely be a tough challenge for what Prezares likes to do. Rustam Khaiblov vs Desmond Green is a stylistic nightmare (two cardio heavy wrestlers) but both are deserving of their plaudits plus they have enough other tools to not be completely one dimensional. Ignore the fight between Thibault Gouti and Andrew Holbrook for a second because it's kinda trash.
8- Mike Santiago fought on the Dana White Tuesday Night Contender's Series last Tuesday at 155 lbs. He'll travel to Rotterdam to fight a top level prospect in Zabit Magomedsharipov at 145 lbs. MMA, again, is fucking harsh.
9- Marion Reneau vs Talita de Oliveira is primarily interesting if only to see how long it takes Reneau to get the job done. She is at times a play with her food type fighter.
10- I wonder if the UFC will mention the ties that Abdul-Kerim Edilov's ties to the Chechen dictator? Can't really run from it, ya know?
11- Bojan Mihajlovic and Thibault Gouti on the same card oh lord help us.
12- With Brian Stann likely stepping out and new commentators possibly stepping up, I wonder if Dan Hardy will up his game?
Must Wins
Alexander Volkov
You can say plenty of things about Stefan Struve but one thing you can't say is that he loses to nobodies. His worst loss is probably Jared Rosholt but just about every fighter who has beat him has either been in a #1 contender fight or fought for the title. Struve's fought two former UFC champs (JDS and Miocic) plus guys who fought for the title like Overeem and Hunt. Volkov is 28, he's well rounded, he's got size to him and he fights in a division where your ability is your activity. A win over Struve and the doors are wide open.
Darren Till
We know this shit is said all the time BUT the UK is going to need new faces eventually.  Darren Till, despite training/living out in Brazil, can be one of those guys given his youth, skill set and his size. After gassing out hard vs Nicholas Dalby, Till took some time off, healed up, missed weight (:/) and returned to put on a really impressive display of skills vs Jessin Ayari. Bojan Velickovic is a different animal entirely, simply a much better fighter than Ayari plus a tougher stylistic matchup. This is a good test for Till.
Mairbek Taisumov
If Mairbek Taisumov was Glenn Johnson, he'd be headlining an event at this point. That's not to suggest that the UFC is holding him back because he's Russian but to point out that no big name wants to fight some unknown Russian dude who seemingly only fights, suspiciously, in the UK these days. Taisumov is a fantastic striker with other aspects of his game rounding out but he needs this win vs Felipe Silva because at some point a dude who has finished five fights in a row will be due for a big step up.
Five Fights You Shouldn't Miss
1- Mairbek Taisumov vs Felipe Silva
Mairbek Taisumov has finished four fights in a row, he's gotten two 50K bonuses in a row, and he's fighting an unheralded Brazilian who finished his UFC debut vs a good striker. That's all ya need really.
2- Leon Edwards vs Brian Barberena
This may not be a pretty fight but it's a divisionally relevant fight with implications on the UK fight scene. If Edwards turns out to be what we all figure he CAN be then maybe the UK has a new top 10 WW to get really excited about.
3- Alexander Volkov vs Stefan Struve
Two stand up strikers at a division where one punch can end the night for both guys? I mean it should be fun. Struve is almost always fun.
4- Francimar Barroso vs Aleksandr Rakic
I would never ever ever ever suggest a Framcimar fight BUT Aleksandr Rakic is a really intriguing 205 lb fighter under 30 years old. We know that division needs help so let's see if he's a guy who can do something.
5- Zhabit Magomedsharipov vs Mike Santiago
Mark Henry, Frankie Edgar and Eddie Alvarez have all raved about Zhabit so his UFC debut is of some interest to me. More importantly I wanna see how Mike Santiago looks after fighting a week ago at 155 lbs.
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adrianodiprato · 7 years
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+ “We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey” ~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Week One - Reflection
In preparation of my three week study in Rome I was asked to read Dermot Lane’s paper Catholic Education: In the Light of Vatican II and Laudato Sí. A timely and considered paper that examines the subject of contemporary Catholic eduction while unpacking the Decree on Christian Education (1965) and Pope Francis’ much heralded Laudato Sí encyclical.
Like Lane’s paper, week one of my ACU course, Catholic Education: Mission, Culture & Spirituality, has been both restorative and illuminating. Each day we are presented with lessons that are knowledge dense, thought-provoking, in place, challenging and most uplifting. All delivered by two very generous ACU Professors, Sr Peta Goldberg and Br David Hall.
Throughout the week excursions to significant Rome and Vatican destinations have both moved me and enlivened me. Many locations I had previously experienced but this time through a renewed lens of faith, place and, dear I say it, the sign of the times. Nonetheless for me it was the people I encountered that had the most profound impact on my deep learning in week one.
The audience with Pope Francis was a most surreal encounter of the heart. Being present in his space, with hundreds of other pilgrims, was one of those rare life moments to savour. It reminded me of my encounter with the indomitable Bishop Desmond Tutu, most life affirming and hope-filled.
The prelude to the Papal audience was a visit with Austrian priest Fr Bechina from the Congregation of Catholic Education. Here, in this moment, Fr Bechina passionately spoke about the importance of bringing together the “beauty of difference” and the place of wisdom in informing the knowledge based curriculum of modern schooling. He spoke that Catholic education is not the enterprise of one school, but a collective responsibility of all to reach out with mercy, welcome and wisdom. Fr Bechina acknowledged that there are many ways of being Catholic but become animated when he spoke about Pope Francis’ version and call for us to engage all people in a dialogue. The Holy Father has given us a new orientation - coherent in service and stewardship, for self, place and the other.
After unpacking Pope Francis’ encyclical Amoris Laetitia - The Joy of Love, we had an opportunity to have an audience with Archbishop Paglia, from the newly formed Dicastery for Laity, Family and Life. A most joyous man that spoke about the transformative power of love and our call to form new consciences around the construct of family and love, not just for ourselves but to build a new society. “The alliance between two people starts from a position of love in order to transform, through creation, our world for the better”. Through this form of education of today, we can create the society of tomorrow, one that is highly relational, inclusive and hope-filled.
I'll leave you with my final thoughts based on reflecting on week one. Our commitment to discovering God is about being more fully conscious of self, as I believe the gift of the Kingdom is deep within. Spirituality remains the way of giving efficacy to the Gospel. Found in the deep story of a faith community. Each generation is called to incarnate spiritually in their time and place for a self that is still emerging and a self open to the generosity of giving and growing from the other.
Dermot Lane’s paper ponders if contemporary self is or is not in crisis. Or is it simply a direct result of the sign of the times? For me therefore the perennial God question - a gaze of hope and faith, is more relevant today then any time in our history. We should never forget that God’s first act was to create diversity. Vast indifference can lead us to be open to prophetic thinking of a self that continues to evolve and take shape in the quest to become whole.
We are then called to be streams of living water in a world that is often succumbed to drought - faithless and hope-less. The human is restless and dynamic, but oriented toward the mystery of life and therefore being open to self through the other is a reality. Through the power of relationships we construct who we are as humans. Relationships with our self, God, place and the other.
I will leave you with the African philosophy of Ubuntu, the belief in a universal bond of sharing that connects all humanity, as a profound example of becoming - “I am what I am because of who we all are”. Exalt His name together.
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cophine-mon-amour · 7 years
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*I’m totally into what you guys have to say about this matter and would love to read your responses.
Delphine Cormier. Delphine is not only my favourite character of the show (with Siobhan a close second) but my favourite character all together. It’s not original, I know, but like everyone else I have my reasons. Some say our favourite character is someone who is close to reflecting us as a person, whether it be personality or appearance. For me that might be true, I may have personal reasons but here that doesn’t matter. What matters the most is Delphine.
Now, I bet you remember months ago when we were enraged by the way certain TV shows were treating us with cheap cliffhangers and unnecessary deaths. Maybe I was in denial but for me it was difficult not knowing for sure, even though I knew (hoped) that the creators of OB weren’t silly enough to end Delphine in that way. Although I still prepared myself for that outcome just to be more on the safe side. I know we need to consider Evelyne Brochu’s schedule but if it were me I would have been begging her to come back if the original plan was to kill the character. A sigh of relief, around a year later we were relieved that Delphine is in fact still alive.
Ever since season 3 aired I have been trying to figure this character out. I’ve thought about her a lot and have come up with many theories, some improbable and even absurd but either way her past is interesting. There’s always a possibility that the unthinkable could be true. The fact that we know very little about her is exciting and it allows us to come up with many ideas of our own. If or when we are given information on this lots of ideas will be made but like many things on OB it’s difficult to develop the correct theory, because simply put; you just never know with this show. Also the extent is subjective, but I think we can agree not much is shared when it comes to the history of many of the characters. 
(SPOILER) Of course, every season we learn more and we have been told that this season will include a tasty episode for all those Cosima Niehaus lovers. We love to know more, but will this be a case of ‘the more we know, the less we understand’ or will the truth we uncover finally put us at ease about Cosima? Either way I can’t wait for the fanfiction.
Back on track. If we don’t know the truth then we can at least consider the characters’ behaviour and decisions. Not entirely an assumption but one thing I’ve considered is the possibility that Delphine has lost a loved one. At an early age or later on in life, my favourite one is being fairly recent. Before I jump right to it I think it’s important we take a close look at the way she is in season 1 and 2 to season 3. Allow me to start off by saying Delphine’s turn of point was the beginning of season 3. Prior to that she made decisions that would come across as shady and as betraying Cosima, but these seem quite minor compared to season 3 – and no, I’m not just talking about the eye scene where she interrogates Rachel but her demeanour takes a turn. What I see, where some may see a cold-blooded stalker, is determination and braveness through the act of love.
Season one Delphine’s a puppet and is being pulled by the strings that belong to the DYAD institute and does her best when she’s thrown in the middle of work and love. We know she’s highly intelligent so it makes sense that she would take her work (her passion for science) seriously. We don’t know how long she had been working with the institute prior, though whether it was for a while or a short period of time perhaps she had no reason to question them. Which is why near the end she is surprised when she faces the thought of losing Cosima when what she wanted was to protect her – because she trusted the institute. To me, she remains innocent because she was unaware of the actual truth at that time.
Speaking of DYAD, it’s only fair to include Leekie and that it seems she may have had a sexual relationship with him. Though this is too innocent to judge her for, since it was before anything more than a friendship developed between her and Cosima, it’s worth considering why she had this relationship with him. It could have been a way of using him to gain promotions during her career with DYAD or let’s admit it – just an arranged decisions between them either for some fun or because there was attraction there. A more interesting one is that there could have been some information he or the institute was holding against Delphine like the situation with Paul.
Season two I feel like there’s not much to say other than she’s finding her feet and feels content. There’s opinions that clash that causes arguments but all seems well as Delphine’s choices are risks done out of good reasons for both Cosima and her sisters.
The scene when they confess their love for each other both seem sincere. I don’t need to tell you how this scene went but it’s worth mentioning the point when Cosima tells her ‘I have enough dirt on you to destroy your career’, to which at this Delphine laughs. Recently when I re-watched this I found it rather odd and pondered for a while on her response. I have a few solutions but my favourite one; there’s a slight pause, she realised how much her job doesn’t matter to her any more or how it wasn’t obvious enough for Cosima to know that. It could be nothing and that she found it simply funny and I’m reading too much into this, but little details matter me.
Season 3 was the most difficult season for me to watch. I have re-watched OB countless times but this one I have never returned to fully. If you are like me then the reasons could be quite self explanatory when the fondness for Delphine is taken into account. If you’re somebody who knows how it feels to have loved someone who doesn’t love you back (or doesn’t show it), then maybe it’s fairly easy to put yourself in Delphine shoes and understand some of her actions. Of course, it’s a great season and I won’t let the whole Shay and Cosima (and of course cophine) situation cloud my judgement. As I previously said, I have my personal reasons towards my favourite character so maybe I’m just salty. It’s just a shame there had to be a relationship involved as I have lost a fair amount of respect for Cosima for her actions. To this day I still question her actions and whether she loves Delphine, but I won’t talk about that here because I think it will be better suited in another post (I’ve tried writing here but it seemed more relevant with Cosima rather than Delphine).
From what we have seen in previous seasons Delphine doesn’t interact with a huge range of people. It’s usually in a professional manner and work related but when it’s not, it’s with Cosima. This makes it easy to understand how lonely she must have been during the season. The worst part is having nobody to confide in, but when she tries it’s with Cosima and basically gets ignored. Ouch, I’m not surprised she turned to drink for comfort. On more of a serious note, Delphine’s now the one feeling hurt and betrayed by the woman she loves. Doing whatever it takes to keep the clones safe there’s no wonder how angry she must have felt to have her efforts be taken for granted. There’s proof that she would even die for them. It’s difficult to put these thoughts into words, so in the best way I’ll put it this way; I can imagine a conversation in season 5 between Cosima and a salty Delphine. “Why did you help us?” “Because I’m the only one stupid enough to fight for what’s right.”
One thing that is worth mentioning is that Delphine mentions being in boarding school. There’s speculation about whether the girl in her suicide attempt story is actually her rather than some girl. That being said, I think there’s definitely more to this story but unless it has a huge part to play about her I doubt we will know the whole story this season. My point is, things like this could have played a part that triggered her drive to be the way she was that season.
My theory (finally) *Firstly, I would like to note that I couldn’t begin to imagine what it feels like to lose a child and this is not intended towards anyone who has been affected from this. I hope nobody is offended by this post but if you feel you could be impacted by this next paragraph, skip the one.
There’s not much to be said here. Like I said, my favourite theory is that she has lost a loved one. More specifically, a child of her own who was sick for months. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is far from the truth, but I still consider it interesting as it could seem possible. To me it makes sense. Countless times we’ve seen that Delphine would do anything in her power to help Cosima even if it meant going against her word and behind her back. Season 3 suggests to me that she was hurting deeply to the point where her past was brought back, hence her devotion to saving Cosima as well as her love for the woman. It makes sense that as a doctor she would try everything she could to save her child and feel useless as a parent and doctor when all fails. She knows how it feels to lose somebody she loves, why would she want to go through it again with Cosima? My appreciation This post is pretty much all over the place and I have probably left out a few things I should have mentioned, but I’m glad you’ve stuck out to hear what I had to say.
Orphan Black Season 5. The last season of the (add mind blowing adjective) series that has brought like-minded people together, creating friendship and even more along the way for many of us. In some cases the show has helped our lives for the better in ways we can and cannot explain. For this reason I have trouble accepting this as our last season, including the knowledge that some day the fandom will die. Maybe not soon after, but sooner than what a lot of us hope for. The worst part – most likely it will die out slowly. I’m not one for happy endings but I’m a sucker for OB and I’m not ready for it to end because I’m emotionally invested. And if you’re like me, a fussy bugger, you’ll have trouble finding a TV show as good as this ever again that includes amazing acting from brilliant actors and the best fandom I’ve been apart of for many years.
Perhaps that’s the whole point – to move on and keep this as an experience. I feel the need to include this as I have never made a post this long before, and consider this my only time on expressing my gratitude for this show and the fandom. I don’t know where I’d be without you guys and I bet that’s how a good handful of us fans feel. I would also like to add, everything I mention in this post is totally my opinion only, I’m making this clear so I don’t come across as some self-assertive ****.
Comparing season 1 to season 4, I would say there’s a significant difference and I am yet to be disappointed as they improve after every season, this includes the directing, scripts and producing. The surprises they keep rewarding us with is great, though with a few exceptions.
Conclusion Overall, we’ve seen Delphine be selfless and risk dying for what’s right, but for our last season I hope we discover her doing everything in her power to live for what she loves. I know this for sure; Delphine Cormier is one of the Bad Ass Bitches I know on TV and deserves one massive thank you party hosted by the other characters.
:)
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koopatzi · 5 years
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5 Quick Tips For SEO 2019
Colorado SEO Pros CEO Bob Rodgers talks search engine optimisation (SEO) strategy, artificial intelligence (AI), and why link building will be dangerous for companies. An SEO on-line marketing strategy is a extensive plan to get more individuals to your website through lookup engines. Several search optimizers try to cheat Google by using aggressive techniques that go beyond the simple SEO techniques. Subscribe to the particular Single Grain blog now regarding the latest content on SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, PPC, paid social, and the particular future of internet marketing. SEO can furthermore stand for search engine optimizer. Like the rest of the particular digital landscape, SEO marketing is usually continuously evolving. Search Engine Book — Read information right after Moz's guide to solidify knowing regarding it of the basic elements of SEO. If a person do not have the period or have insufficient training upon web design or SEO, Appear for web design experts plus hire a professional SEO services agency to keep your web site and your good reputation usually you business may depend upon it. I ended with the website number 1, 228, 570, 060. This particular generates SEO anchor text, which usually helps you in improving your own search engine rankings. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION marketing is focused on the keyword choice that will attract a excellent deal of unique visitors in order to your website. Perhaps you have ponder what will be the fresh changes and updates that many of us can experience in SEO one way links sphere in 2019? A Cisco research found that by 2019, eighty percent of all consumer Web traffic will be from Web video traffic. If you might have spent time online recently, you might have probably look at the term "SEO, inch or "Search Engine Optimization.
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It helps your SEO attempts to ensure that your key phrases are added to the destinazione description and it will provide you a ranking boost when your specific terms are noticeable in this area. Moreover, a Google Penguin update drastically changed the position of backlinks on SEO, generating it more difficult to obtain link juice to a web site. Gone are the times of traditional SEO techniques, on the web content is changing. The cognitiveSEO Rank System offers accurate country, language plus city precision for all your own tracked keywords. Even if your URLs usually are pretty, ” if you no longer feel as though they're adversely impacting users and your company in general, don't change all of them to be more keyword concentrated for better SEO. ” In the event that you do need to alter your URL structure, make certain to make use of the proper (301 permanent) type of redirect. 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Off-page SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION concentrates on increasing the authority associated with your domain through the act associated with getting links from all some other websites. Regarding: Search Engine Journal's flagship meeting, SEJ Summit, is dedicated to providing SEO pros the actual require, with an agenda of unique, first-run presentations covering the newest SEO and PPC tactics through renowned experts, plus excellent network opportunities. SEO combines official lookup engine guidelines, empirical knowledge, plus theoretical knowledge from science documents or patents. This is definitely a half-day workshop at LeadsCon that will be designed to be able to give attendees an end-to-end watch of Search Engine Optimization (SEO), how it works, and touchable things they can do nowadays to improve their SEO overall performance. After the Search engines Panda algorithm appeared, SEO professionals realized just how much key word frequency and density matters. SEO means optimizing your posts so it shows up a great deal more often in search results. 33. With social media systems like Facebook diminishing visibility associated with companies and brands, SEO (as well as paid promotion) is usually becoming critically important for traveling traffic to your social stations. 2019 dates TBD. ). Why go to: One-track conference full of forward-thinking, tactical sessions in SEO, development marketing, the mobile landscape, analytics, content marketing and more. ” Don't miss the LeadsCon Meeting in Vegas, March 4-6, 2019.
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Here's a true statement you don't need to hear as often: Your SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION technique for 2018 shouldn't concentrate on keywords. (1888PressRelease) Stone Marketing, a Boston-based, full-service SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION and internet marketing firm today announces they have been rated as the number five SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION firm in the 2010 Advertising World Top ten SEO Firm Award initiative. According to Forrester Analysis, the number of global smart phone subscribers is expected to achieve 3. 5 billion by 2019, crossing the 50% mark intended for smartphone penetration by 2018, plus reaching 59% by 2019. On-page SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION ensures that your site can be read by both possible customers and search engine automated programs. In 2019, voice-search will become the dominant way that individuals search. But SEO is all regarding the organic” rankings, which show up in the middle of the particular search results page. The most important SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION factor for creating high-quality articles is doing good keyword study. Formula changes in 2018 seem in order to centre on reducing the efficiency of old-school SEO techniques, along with the May 2015 Google ‘Quality' criteria update bruisingly familiar. Keep in mind in SEO article writing recommendations you keywords have to create sense too. Domain Authority within SEO is a rank that will measures how popular and reliable search engines call at your own website. If the key phrases you might be hoping to rank with regard to don't show on the page, this will be much more tough to achieve your goals -- making on-page optimization a essential part of most SEO advertisments.
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Ultimately, simply by the end of 2018 or even mid-2019, we'll see a golf swing back to natural” content created by real humans who may produce valuable content that in fact provides value. Hiring experienced SEO experts may ensure that your website climbs the search engine ranks with out using any illegal practices or even short cuts that could generate short-term spikes in the home page's ranking, but eventually lead in order to your website having to pay out penalties. Official Site Associated with BlowFish SEO - Professional Search Motor Optimization Services operated by Robert DiSalvo SEO Located in Hand Beach Gardens, Florida. The takeaway here is definitely that if you might have got LOTS of location pages providing A SINGLE business in a single location, then those are quite probably classed as some type of doorway pages, and possibly Ten Taboos About SEO 2019 You Should Never Share On Twitter old-school SEO techniques for these types of type of pages will discover them classed as lower-quality -- or even - spammy webpages. CRAWL this, like Google does, with (for example) Screaming Frog SEO spider, plus fix malformed links or items that result in server errors (500), broken links (400+) and unneeded redirects (300+). SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION gives you an attempt at rating for the terms which your own customers use, so you may do better business. The job of the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is to create high-quality content material then win the attention, the particular love as well as the particular link from a blogger or even editor. The keyword difficulty or even keyword SEO difficulty is the very useful metric for key word research.
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thomasreedtn · 6 years
Text
Enlightenment through Shadow Work
I’m linking to Ann Kreilkamp’s post called “Two Excellent, Dovetailing Perspectives on Q,” and calling it “Three Excellent, Dovetailing Perspectives On Q” due to the comment section on Ann’s post. I’ve stayed relatively quiet on the Q phenomenon, because I prefer to let people decide for themselves what’s real or relevant in their own realm. The Q stuff delves deep into the Shadow, and while I regularly help clients do that, I never want to force that onto people before they’re ready. The mainstream media has done that, though, so this post comes as support not pressure. Careful blog readers over the past decade will recognize that I’ve written and spoken of these topics many times and many years before. I just haven’t called them Q.
I did make an unintentionally public statement on QAnon via Ann’s blog when she shared my email commentary to a link I sent her in the wee hours of the morning on August 1:
        The link I shared was to this post on Deus Nexus: “QAnon Decoded: Every Trip Code and UserID Used by QAnon Points to a Book.” The nerdy English Major in me has never quite died, despite the 1998 TBI detour that led me away from academia into reading energy fields and writing fiction and non-fiction. In any case, that book list contains some phenomenal books, and as a writer, I have learned as much about writing by observing the Q phenomenon over the past nine months as I’ve learned from dozens of how-to books on writing. Show don’t tell works as well for how-to as it does in stories!
I’m not in any way trying to convince people of anything, and please don’t use the comment section here to debate politics. I will say this, though: part of the reason I continued to read the Q material is because I have known much of this for many years from firsthand sources. My life and work put me in touch with unusual people, and I’ve heard many credible stories and heartbreak from people who’ve experienced Hollywood’s and high government’s pedophilia and other abuses firsthand. These people had no reason to lie to me; they told their tales in confidence, and the names and details will remain confidential. These clients were trying to recover from early childhood trauma in order to heal illnesses and/or move forward in work and life.
I’ve also had people very close to me over the years share some of the most horrific veil-ripping encounters where they’ve witnessed or experienced activities that shook them to the core. Again, I have no reason to doubt these people, as they weren’t seeking attention or sensationalizing their tales. The details arose in the context of private conversations and deep soul sharing. I don’t claim to have the inside scoop on governmental and corporate coups, Satanic Ritual Abuse or honey trap blackmail, but I do know these things exist.
I also know that there ARE good people in our military and government, whether you call them White Hats, strategically placed, or good people stuck in a bad system. Some of the most awake, intelligent, and intuitive people I’ve ever encountered have been veterans. I do not condone violence, and neither do they. Ironic, yes, but true. Many of the veterans I know awoke through combat and by witnessing what was really going on overseas. They saw the corruption and recognized drug running, media lies, and slavery. Yes, slavery exists in the 20th and 21st centuries, much of it condoned and profited from by our government. One reason for so many military suicides and PTSD comes from the idealism destroyed by witnessing and in some cases being forced to participate in situations the opposite of why they joined the military. Knowing this makes credible (to me) the claim of White Hats fighting corruption from within the system. Some of it may be for show, but I am certain that real people are risking their lives to do good things.
Many of these veterans I know have highly honed intuition, a strong sense of honor, and huge hearts. They don’t always get it right, but most of the ones I know hold as a highest value defending the innocent. One reason I happen to have had close relationships with so many veterans despite seemingly unrelated interests is because we all use strategy. We think alike. Whether planning a battle, fighting Lyme disease, or helping someone overcome subconscious inner demons, it’s all strategy. I can appreciate 3-, 4-, and 5-D chess, because I play it every day to help people help themselves. Critics laugh at the idea of “moron” Trump having a strategy, but to me, it’s clear he does. I don’t know where that strategy leads or how it will play out. Even if entirely selfless (and I don’t know or claim that it is), as Robert Burns said: “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft a-gley.”)
What I do know is the devastation this epidemic of pedophilia has wrought throughout the world. Lives have been shattered. I know some amazingly courageous souls who’ve done their own Shadow Work to move beyond the trauma and help others — but I know what it cost them to do so. I have huge respect for anyone working to stop even one pedophile, let alone bust and prosecute thousands of them. I see the media trying to normalize pedophilia by making it part of LBGT now LBGTP (P is for pedophiles), calling child molesters “minor attracted persons,” refusing to call out the religiously sanctioned pedophilia of Muslim child brides and female genital mutilation, and by painting pedophiles as victims. They are often victims themselves, but that does not justify perpetuating or normalizing the abuse!
All of which is to say, that the Q material points to a lot of truth, and I find it a brilliant means of helping people to discover truth at their own, self-directed pace. Unlike a cult, no one forces anyone to believe anything, nor to conclude anything. Some things just become obvious once you open your eyes to them. My eyes happened to open to these things long ago. Even as a child, I had pedo-radar in which I would scream bloody murder if anyone tried to force me into a child molesting doctor’s office or bring a pedophile into our home. My shouts and refusals embarrassed my parents, but decades later stories surfaced that validated my intuitive concerns. I got yelled at a lot for refusing to cooperate, but the only thing a would-be pedophile ever managed to molest on me was my “adorable little nose.” And that was bad enough!
The #MeToo campaign is important, but many recognize it as only the tiniest tip of the iceberg. Raping women on the casting couch is horrible, but not as horrible as trafficking children or Satanic Ritual Abuse. I decided to address some of these issues here in one post, because Q has gone mainstream. Soon people will not be able to avoid these stories and their implications. In addition to Ann’s post, I suggest two other links:
Citizen Investigator’s “Open Letter to the American People”
and https://legalinsurrection.com/2018/07/stealth-bill-sneaks-in-radical-changes-to-californias-criminal-justice-system/
Ponder why — if they have “right on their side” — someone would feel the need to sneak through legislation in California that literally gives an inarguable, free pass to even the worst criminals. Eyes open. As my Discernment Reminders post explains, “Most people are mostly kind and mostly honest, and sociopaths rely on this perception in order to orchestrate enormously complex and outrageous schemes. Just because you wouldn’t engage in that sort of behavior (or couldn’t even imagine coming up with such a scheme) doesn’t mean it’s not happening. We’re only just beginning to see proof of such ‘paranoia’ and ‘hysteria’ being Conspiracy Facts.”
All of this can feel overwhelming and reality shattering, which is why I’ve posted such things only in dribs and drabs over the past decade. Everyone’s at a different point in awakening, but as Carl Jung said, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Shadow Work feels bad. No one wants to go through a Dark Night of the Soul, but because of revelations coming to light and going mainstream through Q and anonymous researchers, we’re poised for a societal Dark Night of the Soul. Each dark night has potential to catalyze new levels of clarity, lightness and joy.
A reminder for those of you who’ve been through one (or more) Dark Night(s) of the Soul before: now’s YOUR time to shine. YOUR time to help previously unconscious loved ones and coworkers who suddenly find themselves ready and hungry to have real conversations about real issues.
Now comes the healer portion of your Wounded Healer life. We can find meaning and purpose through anything. Our vulnerability brings strength. Q’s motto WWG1WGA (“where we go one, we go all”) is a good reminder, regardless of political or religious inclinations. We’re embodied souls having a human experience. When life throws surprising revelations your way, it’s a good time to step back and reconnect with your heart. What do you really know and value? What “matters”? What small, local step can you take to bring positive momentum TOWARDS a preferred outcome? What can you see and observe with your own eyes, in real time, not through a screen, and not through soundbites or news spin cycle? Ground. Earth. Breathe. Love.
Love yourself, because you matter. You really do.
      from Thomas Reed https://laurabruno.wordpress.com/2018/08/09/enlightenment-through-shadow-work/
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samuelfields · 6 years
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What If You Take A Leap Of Faith And Your Dreams Don’t Come True
Leaving a boring job to do your own thing is scary. There’s nowhere to hide when you’re responsible for everything. At the same time, there’s nothing more rewarding than creating something from nothing. No promotion or raise comes close.
Recently, a reader asked, “What do you think you’d be doing now if FS hadn’t worked out so well for you? Back to the IB grind, real estate tycoon, build a tennis school…other? Might be an interesting article unto itself, I know you’d get at least one interested reader.”
I haven’t thought about this situation since 2012, when I first left my day job. Further, I know that after writing, “Career Or Family: You Only Need To Sacrifice At Most 5 Years Of Your Life,” I definitely won’t be going back to work until 2022, at the earliest.
But this is a good thought experiment to ponder because I’m sure many of you might be wondering what if you took the leap of faith and things don’t work out either. 
A Time Limit On Your Crazy Idea
You’ve got about three years to gain traction in your business before society writes you off. Nobody will bat an eye if you disappear for one or two years because plenty of eager beavers go off to business school for two years and re-enter the workforce with no problem.
But after three years, people will start wondering what you were doing with all that time. They’ll start questioning your judgement. They’ll wonder whether you were too delusional or too stubborn to realize that your endeavor wasn’t working out. Once they think all these things, your chances of getting hired at a comparable job you left for comparable pay diminishes precipitously.
Two or three years is also a perfect amount of time for a rational entrepreneur to decide whether his or her product can generate a minimum livable income stream. During this time period, you can probably pivot one or two times as well.
If you aren’t generating a livable income stream after 36 months, or you haven’t raised capital from outside investors, then you should probably get a job.
My Entrepreneurial Time Limit Was Two Years
According to FINRA regulations, the Series 7 license expires after an employment lapse of two years. The test is six hours long and contains 260 questions and there was no way I was taking that puppy again if I decided to rejoin the financial services industry!
Therefore, I gave myself two years to see if I could generate momentum on Financial Samurai. I published three times a week and saw progress. During this two year period I hedged my bets by going on interviews with several financial firms, but I just didn’t feel the same excitement as I did in my 20s. Instead, my excitement was 100% targeted towards my online business.
It was a scary moment to let my Series 7 license expire in June 2014, but it also allowed me to burn my boat and never look back.
If you plan to take a leap of faith, check any license expirations and set a three year time limit, whichever comes first before you go back to work. To help your cause, consider freelancing in your old industry to stay relevant just in case.
Scenarios If Financial Samurai Failed
It’s pretty easy to see a scenario where Financial Samurai would have stayed stagnant or disappeared. I could have lost my motivation to publish consistently each week. Search engines like Google may have never decided to rank my content. And larger media publications may have never decided to highlight my work.
If I couldn’t gain momentum after two years, I would have done the following in order of likelihood:
1) Return to investment banking at age 37 (2014). Instead of working at a bulge bracket firm, I would have elected to work at a boutique bank with better hours and less stress. I would keep Financial Samurai as a secret side hustle and experiment with new content and partnerships.
There is also no chance I would have sold my Marina rental home in 2017 because I wouldn’t have bought another home in 2014. With a sluggish business and a new job, I wouldn’t have the confidence to get further into debt.
After three years of aggressively saving most of my salary and bonuses, I would reassess life and likely try to leave the business again at 40 (2017). With three more years of content, I’m confident Financial Samurai would have been able to generate a livable income stream by then.
2) Move to Honolulu and say to hell with it by age 38 (2015). My wife and I meticulously planned a simple lifestyle of living off ~$100,000 in Hawaii based on our passive income and online income at the time. We would have probably moved in with my parents for several months and then rented a decent two bedroom for $2,000 a month close by.
I would continue to write on Financial Samurai and probably focus more on lifestyle, travel, entrepreneurship and minimalism. We’d probably also do some online freelance work as well.
The amazing thing about Hawaii is that our favorite activities, going to the beach and hiking, are both free. It doesn’t cost much to live there once your housing costs are taken care of.
With no job and a lackluster lifestyle business, I would be highly tempted to sell my primary residence before moving to Hawaii. If I did, I probably would have given up $400,000 – $500,000 in gains.
3) Get a job at a financial technology company. The fintech space has gained tremendous momentum since 2012. I ended up consulting part-time with firms like Personal Capital and Motif Investing for two years. It was a lot of fun understanding the industry, meeting new people, and learning/advising a lot about online marketing. The only downside with fintech is its much lower base pay. We’re talking 40% less in salary than I used to make.
After at most four years of working in fintech, I’d want to leave and move to Hawaii. Four years is how long it takes for shares to vest at most startups. One of my goals at the fintech startup would be to learn about digital marketing to help build Financial Samurai further.
Finding Constant Themes
Going through this thought exercise, I realize that I would still publish on Financial Samurai no matter what. I’ve always used this site as a creative outlet. It’s the perfect thing to do for an early retiree who loves to travel or someone bored with his or her dayjob. Money is a byproduct of doing what I enjoy.
I’m pretty sure I would try and negotiate a severance at whatever job I was working at by the end of 2017 because I’ve always had a goal to leave work by 40. After all, I strongly believe it’s much better to retire by a certain age than by a certain financial figure. As a 40 year old now, I feel more strongly that the older you get, the more you cherish the remaining time you have left.
Trading time for money in your 20s and 30s is easy. But after 40, it starts feeling like a waste since you realize there are plenty of people who pass away in their 40s and 50s. Steve Jobs died at 56 for goodness sake, and he was the healthiest eater with the best healthcare money could by.
Maybe this whole exercise is pointless though, because I’ve always had confidence Financial Samurai would not fail. It costs less than $5,000 a year to keep the lights on. I knew if I could speak forever, I could write forever. The greatest thing about running an online business is that the harder you try, the better you’ll do. I’m not sure if that’s the case with other businesses.
If You Plan To Go Out On Your Own
There is no doubt that being an entrepreneur is stressful, especially if you have a family to raise. Here are some suggestions I have before you go out on your own:
1) Work on your business after hours while you still have a job. Unless you have a major amount of funding, please don’t leave your job to work on your business full-time without testing it out for at least a year. We all know that most businesses fail. Working from 5am – 7am or 9pm – midnight is plenty of time to see if your business can gain traction.
2) Refinance or get a mortgage before you leave your day job. Once you lose your W2 income, you are deemed too risky for banks. Only after you have at least two years worth of 1099 (freelance) income will banks consider you a creditworthy candidate. Despite having a significant amount of assets, one of my refinance attempts got rejected in my early years post work.
3) Leave your day job after you see hockey stick growth or operating profits. If you plan to run a lifestyle business, then it’s best your lifestyle business generates at least a minimal livable income stream before leaving. If you plan to grow a non-lifestyle business, then wait until you see explosive growth and a visible path to profitability before leaving.
4) Negotiate a severance. A severance will buy you months, if not years of runway to grow your business without overly worrying about profits. Once a business focuses too much on profits, the product or user experience generally declines, and so does the overall business. If you can’t negotiate a severance, then have at least one year’s worth of living expenses in the bank, preferably two.
5) Learn the pitfalls and build a network. Speak to as many people in your field of business as possible and learn how they got off the ground and thrived. Learn about their mistakes and figure out ways to help them so that they might one day help you. Listen to as many podcasts and read as many articles as possible about existing entrepreneurs.
6) If you have a spouse, talk things out thoroughly. If you have a spouse, discuss your entire entrepreneurial plan with him or her. Having a spouse work a stable job with benefits while you go off and do your crazy thing is an excellent combination. Just make sure you have some revenue and time guidelines in order to not burn each other out.
The leap will be scary, but the regret of never leaping will eat you up inside if you have a good business idea. Limit your entrepreneurial endeavors to three years and you’ll likely be fine. After three years, all bets are off.
Related:
The 10 Best Reasons To Start An Online Business
Why Blogging Is The Best Business In The World
Readers, any of you thinking about leaving your day jobs to do something entrepreneurial? Existing entrepreneurs, what are some things you wish you did before working on your business full-time?
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