#this parallels my first blurb <3

[mostly-imagines]

So This Is Love

jason todd x fem!reader

aka you show each other what love is supposed to be like

4 in 1 blurbs

warnings: section 1: close-call panic attack for j, mentions of ptsd for j // section 2: implied sexual activity // section 3: mild angst w comfort // section 4: implied ptsd for j

He feels like his heart might burst through his chest.

The nightmare wasn’t anything unusual for him, but it did feel particularly vivid tonight. It was more of a memory than anything, though. That same one that plays on a loop in his head throughout the night the more he tries to push it away during the day. It was the last thwack of the crowbar that had him jolt awake in bed.

You shift in your spot next to him, opening your eyes to see his rattled state. If he’d been in a clearer frame of mind he would’ve lied to you. He would’ve expertly leveled his breathing and told you everything was fine and to go back to sleep.

But instead, he looks over at you with wide eyes, chest heaving and shaking like he might start hyperventilating at any moment.

You shoot up from the bed, instantly on alert. This isn’t the first time he’s had one of these nightmares around you, so it’s not hard for you to guess where this is coming from.

“Jay? What’s—what do you need?” You know better than to try and touch him unprompted right now, you’ve panicked enough yourself to know that sudden contact only makes it worse.

“I—I can’t, I—” Now he really looks like he’s about to lose all control of his breathing.

You sit up further, moving onto your knees. “Here, let me—can I see your hand?” you ask gently, holding your own out.

He extends it to you without question, a tiny act of vulnerability that he couldn’t have dreamed of doing in this state before he met you.

You flip his hand over, palm-up and start tracing lines over it in the moonlight. You’re looking at his hand quite intently like there’s something very important on it. It’s enough to make him question what the hell you’re doing. 

“I can read palms.” You tell him, simply. 

“What?” His voice almost breaks, like he’s right at the edge of tears. 

“Yeah, my friend taught me. I can tell the future and everything.” You look up at him, fingers not stopping their trailing. “Do you wanna hear yours?”

All he can do is nod.

You smile and start to inspect his hand carefully, tracing over calluses and a few tiny scars. You draw your finger across the short, deep line parallel to his fingers.

“This one…see the way it curves upwards right there?” He nods. “That means you’re very resourceful and ambitious. Like a leader.” His breathing starts to slow as he watches you, trying to focus on what you’re showing him in the dim light from the window.

“And this one,” you trace the line that curves downwards in the middle, “This one says that you’re strong and stubborn, which I can confirm,” he huffs out a laugh. It’s little but it’s genuine. “But it also means that you’re resilient. You’re built to overcome things and bounce back even stronger because of them. Which I can also confirm.”

He leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. He takes in a deep breath, watching you draw patterns across the base of his palm.

The sensation soothes him in a way that he frankly didn’t know he could be soothed. He figures he usually can’t, except when it’s you. He tries to match your breathing, syncing up with you. If anyone else tried to get this close to him when he was on the verge of a panic attack they’d get punched, at best.

But you…you always know how to help him. He’s considered in the past that he did something really right somewhere down the line and you were sent to him as reward. He’d racked his mind for hours of every good thing he’d ever done, trying to find one that could explain your presence in his life. For anything that could explain why he deserved you. He poured and poured over every memory he could dig up but couldn’t find any good he’d ever done that surmounted to a single piece of the good in your heart.

There was a time when he would’ve thought—when he did think that you were only in his life to be taken away as soon as he felt safe. That would certainly be in line with previous experiences. But you showed him quickly that you have this way about you…it makes those loud thoughts in the back of his head shut up and just listen. Listen to your words, your breathing, your footsteps, your laugh…anything he could. Because it turns out, when he listens, he feels safe. 

He’s quiet for a long time, contentedly watching you work. He notices that at some point you’d stopped tracing the lines and began drawing designs instead. 

He breaks the silence after several minutes, softly commenting, “You don’t know how to read palms.”

“No, I do not.” 

But you continued to leave your invisible art on the palm of his hand just the same, both of you taking comfort in the sound of the other's breathing and the soothing feeling of each other’s skin.

The radio plays lightly in the background, surrounding your night with soft ambience. You’re working at the cutting board with tomatoes as Jason leans against the counter next to you, having just finished getting the pasta set up on the stove.

His hands find your hips, resting them there as he watches you work over your shoulder.

“Watch your thumb.” He comments when the knife gets a little too close for his liking.

You shrug him off, “I know how to do it.”

He eyes the way the knife stutters as you cut through the tomato, slicing through not very cleanly at all. “Doesn’t look like it.”

You ignore him, elbowing him gently in the abdomen. He’s joking, but he’s not. The skill level you’re displaying is only above Bruce and slightly below Tim, which is not great.

“Will you let me do it?” he asks you when he realizes there’s going to be no improvement. 

“Fine.” You relent with faux annoyance. 

You switch over to the stovetop, keeping a careful eye on the pasta as it cooks. It’s quiet for a moment as he works, chopping with much more efficiency than you had.  

“You didn’t have to stay here tonight, you know.” You say quietly, still intently watching the stove.

In spite of the music, your low volume does nothing to faze him as he continues his actions, “Why wouldn’t I?”

You stir the contents of the saucepan around. “Well, I know Roy wanted you to go out…”

“Not missing much.” He mumbles, opening up the above cabinet to get out plates.

You lull your head to the side, “Come on, he’s your best friend.”

Jason frowns. “He’s not my best friend.”

You turn your head towards him, “No?”

He meets your gaze, frown consistent. “No. You are.” He says it like he’s confused that you don’t know that. 

“Oh.” You smile, “You’re my best friend too.”

His eyes soften at that, a light smile gracing his lips. He knew that, and he knew you’d say it, but hearing it out loud just…does something to him.

You flick the stove top off, prompting him to on instinct reach for the Marinara jar and crack it open for you. He hands it to you and you accept with a smile, twisting it open the rest of the way as you turn back to the stove. The jar sputters as you open, spitting out sauce.    

“Oh, shit.” You hiss, when the splatter hits your shirt.

He takes one glance at the mess on your shirt and pulls his own shirt off his back. He’s tugging yours off just as fast, replacing it with his. You’ve barely processed what happened as he scans your body, eyes lingering on where his shirt stops at your thighs. “Can you wear this to bed tonight?” He asks, hands running over your waist.

You laugh, “Really?”

He meets your eyes, face serious. “Yes.” He squeezes your hip, “You look good.”

“In your shirt.” You say with a knowing smile.

“In my shirt.” He confirms.

You turn back to the stove to dish out the salsa, his hands skimming around your thighs as you do. He watches you as you work, though rather than watching your hands he’s fixated on the size of his shirt over you and how fucking good you look right now. 

“Or…” He sweeps his eyes over your legs before looking back up at you again. “Did’ya turn the stove off?”

You tilt your head at him, “I did…?”

He grins at you, lifting you up by your thighs til you’re a head above him. “Good.” He maneuvers you over to the counter, setting you on top. He brings your wrist up to his mouth to press a delicate kiss before dropping to his knees.

You’ve been laying in bed for at least three hours, bordering on sleep but never quite falling in. You and Jason had a little spat, though nothing insurmountable, it was still the biggest fight you’ve had to date. You’d tried going out (at night) to see your friend that was having a hard time, and yeah, you should’ve told Jason you were going. It was only five blocks, give or take, but in Gotham at eleven o’clock at night, it’s a risk to say the least.

You should’ve told Jason, you know. But he wouldn’t have let you go or would’ve insisted on putting hold on patrolling to accompany you. You always feel bad when he does that—people could be getting hurt somewhere because you needed your boyfriend to walk you down the street. Unfortunately, it didn’t matter in the end because he caught you red handed before you’d even made it a full block away. Of all the nights for him to come home early, it had to be this one.

He dropped down from the rooftop behind you and scared the absolute hell out of you, and you didn’t even have time to be relieved that it was just him because he was on you in a flash. 

“What the hell are you doing out here?” His voice was hard through the modulator, a rare tone for him to use with you.

“I just—my friend—” he sounded tired and angry, sure signs that he’d really not had a good night so far which was probably all the more reason that you shouldn’t have been out by yourself in the middle of the night.

“What are you—no! Go home. Now.” You would’ve, you really would’ve, but your friend called you crying about her boyfriend cheating on her again and she needed the in person support. 

“Ja—” You’d cut yourself off, “It’s down the street, it’s fine—” He dropped his shoulders in a huff and faced you dead-on. You didn’t need him to take his helmet off to know exactly how he was looking at you.

He dropped down and hooked his arm around the back of your legs, lifting you off the ground with no discernible effort. “Wha—”

He started walking before you were even fully planted on his shoulder, arm wrapping around your legs to hold you in place. 

“Hood! I am so fucking serious, put me down!” You swatted at his back and struggled in his grip, though in the back of your mind you knew it was a pointless effort. Even if you were a match in size, whatever mood he’d been pushed in was enough to guarantee that you had no chance. 

He ignored you, not even pretending that you were giving him any difficulty with your squirming. He marched you back down the block to your apartment, not stopping until you’re outside your door. He set you down in between him and the entrance, digging into his pocket for his key.

He kicked the door shut behind him, finally letting you go. He wordlessly grabbed one of his spare guns and two cartridges of ammo from inside the closet by the door and turned back to you with a firm stance. “Stay here.”

You immediately tried to push past him again, at that point more angry about him dragging you back here than about having to duck out on your friend. He stopped you, holding you by the arms, which led you to respond by raising your voice at him, “Jason!” 

But he didn’t waste any time letting you know how it is, “I will lock you in this fucking apartment. Stay. Here.” Him cursing at you like that was very rare and not a particularly good sign, so through your anger you’d made the decision that it was better to relent, for now. Your posture dropped and you frowned at him resentfully, a visible cue that you were giving in without you having to say it. 

He stayed true to his word and locked the door on his way out, though knowing you could easily unlock it from the inside. You’d trudged into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you.   

Now you lay on Jason’s usual side of the bed, partially because you do miss him, partially because the bed feels a little less empty when you can’t see all the empty space. You know he was just trying to keep you safe after what was probably a rough start to the night, so you feel less than great that you’d yelled at him.

Your dwelling over the memory is interrupted by a quiet creak of the bedroom door. You blink up at him blearily, “Jay?” You sit up, furrowing your brow. You didn’t even hear him come home. “What’s wrong?” You figure he must be hurt to come in here—it’s not unknown for him to sleep on the couch if he feels like he did something wrong or upset you.   

Your eyes attempt to adjust to the darkness, scanning over him for any injuries. He’s out of his armor and in his regular clothes which means he must have showered already. And you know from dozens of nights patching him up that he always tends to his injuries before showering.

This leaves you confused, as you look up at him, waiting for an answer. “I can’t…I don’t want to sleep without you.” He whispers, eyes on the floor. 

You shuffle back into your usual spot near the wall and hold your hand out to him expectantly. You’re still a bit cross with him, but you miss him too much to care right now.

It takes him a second to move, but he eventually lingers away from the door and makes his way to the bed. He takes your hand as he climbs onto the bed, letting go only when you lay down after him, staring up at the ceiling next to him. 

You weren’t entirely expecting him to wrap his arms around you and tug you into his chest. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’d assumed he would lay on his side and you on yours and that would be enough for him to fall asleep with. Instead, he tightens his arms and buries his face into the crook of your neck. You lay there in silence for a couple minutes, both thinking.

“You’re mad.” He mumbles into your shoulder after a while. You know he feels badly about the dispute, you knew it while it was still happening. As hard as he tries, he’s not very good at hiding his emotions. Not with you, anyways.

You shrug slightly. “Barely. I’ll get over it. This is more important.”

He picks his head up to look at you, “I love you. You know that?”

You wiggle out of his grip a bit, making him frown. You use the new space to flip over to face him, before placing his arm back around your waist. You peek up at him, looking him in the eyes, “I do. You know I love you. Even when we fight.”

He looks at you like he’s a bit thrown off by your words. “I’m sorry. It was just…it was a rough night…I—I’m sorry.” He tells you dolefully.  

You shake your head, frowning. “Don’t be. I should’ve texted you.”

“It—yeah. Please. I just worry about you.” He looks so sad and it makes you feel somehow worse.

“I know,” you whisper, “I’m sorry.”  

“Don’t be.” He kisses your forehead, not moving away after.

You feel like you can finally relax and your tense body doesn’t take long to slacken in his hold. Soon after, he does the same, both of you closing your eyes. You feel your heart slow and your mind starts to find a space of peace.    

Before you crash out, you mumble out, “I’m going to be a little passive aggressive in the morning, though.”

“I’d hope so.”

Jason didn’t get it at first.

Honestly, he didn’t really realize that you noticed things about him that even he didn’t see.

Your neighbor was having their place remodeled and you knew there would be construction going on near your apartment all day.

Jason didn’t really care, planning to bury his head under the pillow and trying to sleep through it. You however, seemed very adamant about getting out of the apartment that day. You’d left hours before the construction crew had even gotten there, telling him it was a nice day out.

It was an alright day, but he let you have your way.

You held his hand as you walked down the street, looking into shop windows and commenting on things you think he’d like.

You led him into a book store excitedly, telling him about how the author he’d been binging had just published something new. He didn’t even know that.

You were browsing the sections, flipping through books as you went. You peered across the shop at a kid holding an absolutely massive pile of books, who was clearly struggling to keep them in his arms.

His mother tried to help him but he shook his head and strided away independently, albeit very slowly. The weight of the books though, did get the best of him, and you could tell by the quivering in his arms that he was going to drop them.

“Loud noise.” You said quickly, seemingly out of the blue. Jason turned to you, confused, before seeing the stack the books splat flat onto the ground. It was indeed a loud noise.

He tilts his head at you, though you’re still busy watching the little boy as he throws his head back in frustration.

“What was that?”

You look at him, “He dropped his books.”

“Yeah, I saw. But why—”

His question gets cut off by the kid bursting into tears, wailing. You turn back to look at him, your gaze getting caught by the new book you’d been telling him about. “Ooh!”

You grab his hand and pull him over with you, smiling widely when you have the book in your hands. The sight of you makes him feel so warm so fast that he forgets about the odd interaction all together.

A couple hours later, you sit outside a cafe and eat lunch together, his back to the road, you sitting diagnal to him.

He’s telling you about the shit Damian got in trouble for at school last week, holding your hand with his right hand and eating with his left.

“He thinks he’s not going to get expelled for pulling shit like that every other week, it’s ridiculous.” He says, tossing his napkin down on the table.

Your smile is wavers as your eyes move past his shoulder looking down the block before widening, “Car—”

The sudden noise startles him enough to make him visibly jump, hand flying to where his holster would be. He looks over at the fender bender, shoulders relaxing.

He turns back to you to find your eyes looking far more worried than they should. You seem to be scanning his face, looking for something and he’s about to ask you what’s wrong when it sinks in.

He does get scared by unexpected loud sounds, doesn’t he? He never really thinks of it until it happens, but his mind is trained to expect gunshots or crowbars making impact.

It doesn’t happen often, but it noticeably takes a little piece out of him when it does.

“You…” he tries, but falters. He’s not even sure he’s processing this right.

He’s never seriously tried to fathom that you love him half as much as he loves you, though love doesn’t feel like a strong enough word. He lives and breathes for you, you’ve become a lifeline he’d been stranded without for most of his life. But now you're here and you’re everything, you’re in his head all the time, in every emotion he feels.

He thinks he’s here for you, that he was brought back from the dead because of you. You can’t possibly understand how much his heart is full of you, he doesn’t understand it himself.

He knows you love him, he’s gotten that through his head. But he can’t get a grasp on the idea that he’s equally matched in the who loves who the most battle.

Do you really care that much about him to go out of your way to keep track of things that might startle him? He knows there’s a million things about you that are in the back of his mind at any given time, but surely you don’t operate that same way with him?

Do you?

There’s this burning in his heart that aches and it only gets stronger when he sees you looking at him like that. So genuine. With care, with love.

He squeezes your hand, “I love you. More than anything.”

The look on your face sinks back into that sweet, adorable look that he’s so used to and it makes him want to scream.

You smile that bright smile and it sends his heart rocketing into oblivion. “I love you.” You squeeze his hand back, “More than everything.”

He feels like his heart might burst through his chest.

[machveil]

Collective Writings - MachVeil

Collective Writings Pt 1, Pt 2

thank you all for the support! this post will contain all my fics, blurbs, and mini comics<3 the collection will update as I post and can be viewed from my pinned post here🎀✨ for fics 18+ please read content warnings (CW) - you come first! check the fic before you read it

Simon “Ghost” Riley:

Simon Riley is a hater - reblog + blurb Simon Riley having cuteness aggression - blurb

Simon Riley - shadow boxing/play wrestling/gentle movements - headcanon

Simon “Ghost” Riley being a menace - headcanon

Retired!TF141 owning dogs - blurb

Simon Riley - coloring his tattoos - Instagram link

Cerberus!Ghost - mini comic

Roommate!Simon Riley - tailing you/light sleeper/laundry/cash - headcanon

Dad!Simon Riley - plays/volunteers/helps/teary eyed - headcanon

Roommate!Simon Riley becomes your purse - headcanon

Boyfriend!Simon Riley - hobbies/safety/swaps shoes/trusts his team - headcanon

PlantDad!Simon Riley - headcanon

Boyfriend!Simon Riley - Pinterest/‘Missus’/tattoo/dog tags - headcanon

BestFriend!Simon Riley - looming/drapes his jacket/stares/sleeps over - headcanon

Simon Riley is just a guy - reblog + blurb

Simon “Ghost” Riley is a beer snob - blurb

CoD Headcanon: Parallel Play - headcanon

Husband!Simon Riley - chapstick/nail polish/go-to order - headcanon

Boyfriend!Simon Riley and Roommate!Johnny are a package deal - headcanon

Simon Riley listens to Chapelle Roan - reblog + hashtags

Simon Riley goes shopping with you - headcanon

Write for Simon Riley - mini comic

Simon Riley is low-key a brat - headcanon

Simon Riley plays Minecraft - headcanon

Simon “Ghost” Riley is just a guy - headcanon

Simon “Ghost” Riley is a man of action - fic

(18+, mdni) Simon Riley has reading glasses - fic, fluff, nsfw below the cut

Simon Riley can cook - headcanon

TF141 swimming - headcanon

Retired!Simon Riley - opens a butcher/works with Price/works with the local smithy - headcanon

Retired!Simon Riley - popular butcher/talks to locals/works with Retired!TF141 - headcanon

Domestic!Simon “Ghost” Riley Headcanons - headcanon

Simon Riley x Nerd!Reader - headcanon

Dancing in the Rain - headcanon

Kiss it Better - headcanon

Boyfriend!Simon Riley - civvies/suits/ties/flowers - headcanon

Simon “Ghost” Riley - birth year and age - headcanon

John “Soap” MacTavish:

Soap ate dirt as a kid - blurb

Soap gives bear hugs - blurb

Retired!TF141 owning dogs - blurb

Johnny will drink black coffee - headcanon

Johnny not being picky about food - headcanon

Roommate!Johnny - headlocks/shopping/steals your clothes/scents - headcanon

Soulmate!Johnny - headcanon

Johnny is a mutt - blurb

CoD Headcanon: Parallel Play - headcanon

Boyfriend!Simon Riley and Roommate!Johnny are a package deal - headcanon

Johnny plays The Sims - headcanon

TF141 swimming - headcanon

Kiss it Better - headcanon

König:

König daily sketch - mini comic König gives bear hugs - blurb

CatDad!König propaganda - headcanon

CatDad!König propaganda - if his cat brought back a rat - blurb

CatDad!König - mini comic

König being too tall - blurb

Monster!König fluff - fic

Door frame - blurb

Monster!König being domestic - headcanon

General König Headcanons - personal thoughts - headcanon

Roommate!König - complains/hoodies/sleep/cuddles - headcanon

Monster!König and lethargic period symptoms - headcanon + reblogged with Monster!König and general lethargy

Boyfriend!König loves your puppy - headcanon

Neighbor!König pt 1 - headcanon

König handstand - blurb

König is a hot chocolate snob - blurb

Loser!König info-dumps - reblog + blurb

Neighbor!König pt 2 - fic

Roommate!König - in your room/parallel play/hangs out/alone - headcanon

König is a beer snob - blurb

Neighbor!König - not canon/sees another man - headcanon

König orange peel theory - blurb

Loser!König is just König - headcanon

Retired!König and König, motorcycle/jeep - headcanon

Neighbor!König Headcanons - headcanon

König snacks on bananas - headcanon

FallenAngel!König - headcanon

König and his family’s height - headcanon

König plays Animal Crossing: New Horizons - headcanon

SecretAdmirer!König - headcanon

König wants you to feel special - reblog + blurb

Roommate!König - tails you/laundry/stares/rent - headcanon

Monster!König x M!Reader fluff - fic

(18+, mdni) Loser!König crushing on you - fic

Loser!König aftermath (cont.) - blurb

Dancing in the Rain - headcanon

Artsy!König - headcanon

König and his siblings - reblog + blurb

Kiss it Better - headcanon

Sebastian Krueger:

FallenAngel!Krueger - headcanon

General Thoughts about Sebastian Krueger - headcanon

Kiss it Better - headcanon

18+ Fics:

(18+, mdni) Simon Riley has reading glasses - fic, fluff, nsfw below the cut

(18+, mdni) Loser!König crushing on you - fic

Fic Recommendations:

(18+, mdni) König fics - fluff, nsfw below the cut

(18+, mdni) Simon “Ghost” Riley fics - fluff, nsfw below the cut

thanks again to followers and friends for keeping up with my writing! CoD requests are always welcomed, please review this post before requesting🎀✨ giving you guys a big, fat kiss for being wonderful and I hope to see you around - either in my inbox or notifications<3 CoD themed dividers are free to use curtesy of @gild-ui, please give them some love

[cynicalrosebud]

Masterlist

Hello! You can call me Cyn! I’m 25, Ojibwe Native, and really tired!

Friendly reminder that all of my work is my own creation and is protected. Do not repost on other sites, copy, or steal my work. This includes lifting text, using it in AI chatbots, or sharing it without my explicit permission. I work hard on my stories and creations, and I kindly ask that you respect that effort by not reusing my work without proper credit or authorization.

If you'd like to share or use something, please reach out to me first for permission. Thank you for understanding! :)

Incorrect Quotes:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Ghost is scary

Subs deal with so much

Price’s Lecture

Echoes of Duty (COD Sentinel AU)

Masterlist

Worldbuilding

Sentinel and Guide SAS Handbook: Special Operations

Rumor Has It (Poly!TF141 x oc!Male)

Masterlist of Chapters

Blurbs and Drabbles Masterlist

Rumor’s Dossier

By Trust Alone (Soap x Mexican!Reader)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

K9 Hybrid AU

AU Worldbuilding

Hybrid Gear and Civvies

Handle It (K9!Hybrid!Reader x Handler!Alex Keller Masterlist

Loyalty & Instinct (K9!Hybrid!Reader x Handler!Kyle "Gaz" Garrick) Masterlist

SFW Alphabet COD

Ghost - He Riley Loves Me

Price - Price Check

Gaz

Soap

Soldier, Poet, Kings (TF141 x Reader)

Jojo's Bizarre GhostPrice

Parallel Lines (Price x Reader)

Gentle Descent (Alex Keller x Reader). MDNI

Tactical Observer - Poly141 x Reader - Request Fic

Tactical Observer Part 2 - Request Fic

Requests are open! Nothing illegal or gross and please stick to COD characters but otherwise I’m available!

141 Dividers I made!

Dividers by @drizztdohurtin

Banner by @saradika

[desceros]

pls, wise one, when you have time, share with your children how you structure and word your writing so, so beautifully! cause you have me in a choke hold and my soul hooked to a chain with all your writings! especially your Tea fic :) I strive to become as good as you <3

oh man. this is a tough one. i kinda, uh. just do it at this point without really thinking?? so hold my hand and maybe we can figure it out together LMAO i'll use an example blurb and try and break it down as coherently as i can.

so first you want to have a pretty clear picture of what you want to convey to your reader. the more defined it is in your head, the more easily you can communicate things to your readers. eventually you'll get a feel for how much detail to go into as you describe it. you really don't need to describe the placement of every limb at every moment... but also, the placement of a hand can tell you so much about what's going on in a character's mind, so it's good to know where it is. there's a fine line between purple prose and effective set dressing.

i was just whining about not writing enough soft donnie so let's do that. he's on the couch staring at you. let's write that really quickly:

notice i don't talk about his entire body placement, but the looseness of his limbs is important. it gives a picture of his mental state without overwhelming you with too much detail.

next: i like to start with big, grand statements, then slowly pluck them apart into the minutia. things like. he looks comfortable. ok; what does that look like? what shape does he take in your head? for me, it's that he's reclining. propping himself up casually. i emphasize the 'soft. relaxed.' by having them be their own short sentences.

on that note, mixing your sentence length is very important and guides the flow of things. longer sentences are like water, bringing your reader down the river you've crafted for them. short sentences have a lot of power, because they're a lot more percussive. you want to use them sparingly so you don't overuse that and retain that feel. mix where you put your independent and dependent phrases, but also know when to mirror yourself. parallel structure can invite your reader to compare ideas or generate momentum. for example, continuing this blurb a bit:

every sentence begins the same, going from long to medium to short in a way that makes the flow of the paragraph feel a bit like a snowball rolling down a hill, like your thoughts are rushing, so that by the end you can land on a thought that's monumental and feels a little breathless. this is possible because of the parallel structure of the sentences ("like ____. like ____. like _____.") pushing the reader forward. you can of course do it in the opposite direction as well, for when you want to slow a reader down and force them to linger in a moment.

word choice is very important. i'm pretty particular about the words i use for certain things, and i really love using similes and metaphors to create abstract imagery that catches the light more than a flat statement. but it's also important to know when to use those flat statements for a high-impact statement. let's try:

this kind of falls into my philosophy on the whole 'show don't tell' thing. i'm obsessed with showing. but sometimes, it's more impactful if you tell. like... here you have a very evocative description of him. it includes little things like a reference to a red string of fate (showing it's a romantic moment for you, not platonic), wanting to keep the image in your head permanently, pretty words that mirror what your POV character feels. at the end, you can land on just. he's beautiful. because really that's all that needs to be said, right? but it feels more weighty a thing to say after what came before.

one of the best things i ever did for my prose writing was study poetry. that gave me an appreciation for the weight of a word, and how to use it effectively. the right word or phrase can really change a sentence both melodically and emotionally.

consider the difference between these:

does he want something? or does he covet it? is he unable to look away from your smile? or is he ensorcelled?

a writer's vernacular is an incredibly powerful tool, so i recommend highly that you expand your vocabulary. make sure to focus on not just the explicit definitions, but also the implicit. some words are largely interchangeable (a touch that slides vs one that glides), but some very much are not even though at first glance they seem they should (a haunting kiss vs a lingering kiss).

anyway i hope that helped a little! this kind of minutia-crafting is like, a passion of mine so i probably went way overboard OOPS but hey if it helps even a little i WIN

[lazysunjade]

story inspiration tag | on sunlit tides

tagged by: @catamano

rules: write up a blurb or make a visual collage of the people or characters (from books, TV shows, movies, etc.) that inspired your story and/or OC, either visually, personality wise, or just a general vibe

the story of OST wasn't based on much of anything. I got inspired by Island Living when the EP was released to do a story in Sulani with mermaids, and naturally, every mermaid needs a pirate. I repurposed older sims (who were going to be part of a different sim story based on The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) into Naida and Ven and thus On Sunlit Tides was born. The name being wordplay of PotC: On Stranger Tides and the Sims 3 island world Sunlit Tides.

Ven's character is an amalgamation, but he is primarily based on Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop. There's a line in the anime where Spike mentions that one eye can only see the past. Whether this is actually literal or simply metaphorical isn't made clear to viewers, but I was always struck by it, and thought the mechanism was particularly fascinating for a character to actually suffer constantly see the world through two entirely different lenses simultaneously. Ven also has many of Spike's lackadaisical mannerisms, while also having a similar backstory. In Spike's case, he's ex-yakuza, in Ven's, it's ex-military. Emrys is Ven's equivalent of Vicious; a partner/brother-figure from his past he now deeply despises and knows he will have to inevitably face. The two characters follow similar paths and have nearly paralleled resolutions, as well as other minor commonalities such as personal philosophies, aliases, etc.

To a lesser extent, Ven also incorporates certain elements of both Jack Sparrow and Howl, with the scene where Naida first uses her magic being directly influenced by the Howl/Sophie hair color changing scene. The overall OST aesthetic (quite obviously) borrows heavily from Pirates of the Caribbean (with Artrice being my interpretation of Tia Dalma) and League of Legend's Bilgewater. Naida has less tangible inspirations, though her magic and overall connection to the moon (as well as aspects of her appearance) were influence by Yue from ATLA.

[starberry-cupcake]

You are 100% completely correct about the tagline not being an effective summary of the first book and flattening the scope of the series. I think that's a pretty common opinion in the fandom! I guess they thought "Genre-defying work of literary genius (but it's also very fun)" wouldn't sell and went for content instead. But I think the mismatch of the tagline and the thematic nature of the books is part of why TLT fans evangelize so hard. Lesbian necromancers in space BUT WAIT IT'S SO MUCH MORE! COME BACK!! LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE CLASSICS PARALLELS!!!

Anyway I'm truly enjoying your reactions and I look forward to your Harrow journey <3

You're giving me an excuse to talk about editing things, so I apologize in advance for the long response :') This is all my personal opinion as someone who's new to this (the books, not the editing part), so I'm sorry if I say something incorrect 🙏

The ebook doesn't have the back blurb, so I don't know what they did with that (maybe it's amazing!), but this book is imo an ideal candidate for the "quote from the book and absolutely nothing else" back cover blurb choice. Which is a risky move to some but has worked for best sellers in the past.

I think that because:

the very subjective third person the first book uses is just as good as a first person to provide the reader with an idea of the narrative perspective (maybe even more so, because the subjective third is a very contemporary thing)

the book works better without the reader being introduced to anything at all, not even the context of space, even if you're wondering what thanergy is and crying about it halfway, it enriches the Gideon perspective and encourages you to think outside the box

the author (in my ignorant opinion as a new reader) seems to be at peace with this and has a very high amount of trust in the book working without hand-holding the reader at any given time, and that the knowledge will come to those who care to continue trusting in it, which I think deserves just the same amount of trust from the editing choices

With the font choice for the title and the cover illustration, a quote in the back blurb would make this book absolutely good to go imo. Especially because Gideon is book 1 and Gideon wears sunglasses and the juxtaposition of her look with the sunglasses, plus her tone in a well chosen quote, is a good indicator of a lot of things.

ANYWAY, I hope that makes sense and explains a bit more of what I was thinking about when writing those comments. I'm a bit intimidated with giving opinions at this point, since I don't know much but here we are. Thank you for reading my silly ramblings and for being interested enough to keep reading them ♥

[sobeksewerrat]

Mini-Drew-Analysis for His Birthday!!

Since yesterday was my lovely Drewy-bear's birthday, I decided to write a bullshit little blurb talking about how I interpret his character, and how much (I think) people misinterpret his aggression during the drakeup.

I won't include anything about the music club, since it has been a while since I rewatched the series as a whole and memories of them interacting with Drew are kinda rusty and that deserves its own essay.

Like the Milly/Ep.3 post, I *might* briefly mention a lot of my own trauma or experiences and compare them to Drew's behaviours, so apologies in advance if that bothers you.

Now, firstly, I would like to establish his major relationships in the show since most of his characterization comes from said relationships.

ZOEY:

Droey is arguably Drew's second-most-important relationship, despite the lack of screentime (which I am really salty about).

Now, whilst I love the aroace and gay Drew headacanons, I think we can all agree that he did love Zoey to some extent. The photo in Zoey's room and the fact that he is willing to fulfil her ever wish are proof enough in my eyes.

Drew's love-language is gift-giving (same, Drew, same). It was been confirmed that his parents get him everything they want since HIS FIRST APPEARANCE.

"Well, they bought it for me last night!"

I'm mostly theorising here, but going off of this alone: Drew's parents have been (and still are) very absent in his life.

They couldn't give him enough attention nor affection when he was a kid so they just opted to shove lavish gifts and money in his face to show him their [persumed] love for him.

So, Drew grew up with the virtue that love is mainly expressed through money and expensive gifts ingrained into his head since he was a young child.

He only buys gifts for people he deeply loves and cares about, it's not just a way of flexing or getting people to like him (more on that in the Jake part).

Drew loved Zoey, from the bottom of his heart, so he bought her everything she asked for and took her on dates to the mall regularly to show her how deep his affection for her is.

That's why he was so concerned and "suspicious" when she stopped asking for so many gifts.

He wasn't worried that she was "cheating", he was worried that she didn't loved him anymore, that she was going to leave him.

Moreover, Drew is a very distrustful person by nature, and those he trusts, he trusts deeply.

Those are the only people he allows himself to be emotional around or express his interests and hobbies to, but even then he still has an invisible wall surrounding him.

He lets them be close enough to understand him on a surface level, but not close enough to see his true colours and vulnerabilities (same, Drew, same ×2. Also, Milly parallel!!).

Zoey was naturally one of those few people he trusted, and she broke that trust.

That's why he was so hurt after Zoey left him. He trusted her, he was willing to go to the ends of the earth for her, he loved her.

But she cheated on him. She took advantage of him. She broke his trust.

And even without all of the above, anybody would get scarred and hurt by their partner cheating on them, manipulating them, and using them for money (trust me, I am speaking from personal experience here).

Well, Zoey betrayed him...at least his other friends are still-

HENRIAM:

WRONG. THEY HURT HIM TOO.

Let me elaborate.

We don't get enough screentime to see Drenriam interact so I can't write about them separately (FUXK YOU JAKE AND THE NUSIC FREKA DFOR HOGFINF ALL THE SCREENTOME).

But, we know Drew cares about them. And they know it too.

"Come on, you know you love us" (Henry, Ep5)

And Drew doesn't respond. He just blushes, rolls his eyes and stays silent, which I think is confirmation enough.

"buT hE iS mEAn tO tHeM!1!1" I hear a Drew-anti cry from afar while clutching their limited-edition Jailey keychains.

My guy, my gal, my enby pal, do you even HAVE friends?!?

You're only nice for the first month or so and THAT'S IT, you've gone past the expiry date of nice and become mean and brutally insult each other lightheartedly and call each other "Freak" affectionately. Sometimes it takes even less than that.

Again, they were two of the only few people he trusted.

And they also broke that trust by hiding Zoey's cheating from him. They even think about her gold-digging as JOKE (flashback to ep2 opening scene).

"They were blackmailed!!"

I don't even think I have the patience to elaborate on why that is a stupid fucking excuse. Zoey had no dirt on Jake, no?

They could have told him to tell Drew, or they could have just told him but tell him not to tell Zoey they were the ones who told on her or whatever.

I think the only reason Drew stuck with them during the finale was because he was truly alone. He had nobody else, so he stuck with the last shred of his life before Jake left, even if he hated them now (still can't wait for the Drake-up 2.0, where Drew breaks off his friendship with Henriam and falls into deep, deep depression<44).

(WAIT FUCK THEN DRIAM WONT BE CANON SH-)

Lia(and why Dria /p will never happen imo):

Yeah no it won't happen. Lia distanced herself from Zoey,and she will definitely start hanging out with Jake and the others and completely ditch the Dromies.

Yknow just completely cut off Drew from any form of emotional support system let him SUFFER

JAKE:

Oh the dreaded part-

Here we go ig.

Jake sucks. He was a horrible friend. That is the thesis, that is the topic sentence, that is what I will start with.

Let me just document every major shitty thing Jake did that I can remember atm.

1. He blackmailed Zoey and hid the fact that she was cheating on Drew from him, which breaks his trust (I elaborated on this more in my ep.3 analysis!!)

2. He lied to Drew about being grounded to ditch him for club practice, I am not even gonna try to explain why that is super shitty anybody with 2 braincells and 2 milligrams of basic human decency (which Jake apparently lacks) should be able to realize this on their own. Especially since Drew clearly has trust and attachment issues (his clearly possessive nature of Jake, being that he is one of the closest people to home). Actually, he also lied to him at the end of ep1 wtmf

3. Trying to give his laptop away to Sean. It isn't even about how rude it is to give away an expensive gift, it is about how oblivious Jake is to Drew's feelings. He doesn't even CARE about what Drew feels at all.

Drew feels like Jake is his closest friend, like he's the only person who truly understands him, when this shows that it is quite the opposite in fact.

Jake doesn't understand that it is more than just an expensive gift given by a spoiled kid with too much money to spend. It is a symbol of how much Drew loves him (platonically or otherwise). All of the gifts he buys for him are.

Drew is emotionally-constipated. We (sadly) don't get to see how they met exactly (only one picture to elude to it). But, I think I have an idea.

Drew sees Jake, a loner who's bullied by everyone and sitting all alone. He feels bad and wants to talk to him. He doesn't know how to approach him, so he tries the only way he knows.

All of his other friends and classmates would always seem impressed and fawn over him whenever his parents would buy him something new, so maybe it would work this time?

So he approaches Jake, and offers to let him play with his new switch, because that is the only possible way (in his head) to talk to him.

It is not like Jake doesn't value Drew, but this shows how little he actually knows; that him trying to fit in has caused him to completely misunderstand Drew. Idk man I don't really like Jake so I don't like analysing him please any jake kinnie try to explain.

Now, Jake has been spending a lot of time with the music club, and that has been triggering Drew's attachment issues. What was so great about those freaks anyway??

That whole scene in ep.9 was just his attachment and validation issues on full display, an essay on jagged--dust-jacket-analysis explains way better than I ever could, so check it out!!

When Jake yells at him and leaves in ep.10 and implies that there is something Zoey is hiding it...it breaks him, for all the reasons I stated before.

After Henriam explain everything, it just confuses and hurts him more.

But why would Jake hide this from him? Wasn't he his best friend? Why is he apologising to those freaks, but not him?!

It must be that Hailey girl, she is the one fucking with his head.

He'll confront her. He'll expose her for the fraud she is, and then Jake wi-

(Look please bear with me on this part ik the drake up is a meme now but please let us try to treat it seriously for once)

"Back off, Drew"

Jake chose the freaks. Jake is defending them.

"The club is what I care about- MY FRIENDS!"

His friends?? What was he??

This...this was all for Daisy wasn't it?

What passion was he talking about?!

He never told them anything!!

Why would he hide Zoey's cheating from him!?

Wasn't he his best friend?!

Was he lying to them this whole time..?

"You're right. Drew, Henry, Liam, I'm sorry,"

He is sorry. Drew didn't bother listening to the rest. It was basically confirming what he'd already concluded.

Jake lied to him.

They all did.

"I'm sorry"

Those words were meaningless.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, that's what they all said!

Accepting this apology would make him seem weak.

Allowing Jake to abandon him would make him weak.

Breaking down crying would make him weak.

Apologising, when he'd done absolutely nothing wrong in his own eyes, would make him weak.

And if there is one thing Drew hated more than anything else, it is appearing weak.

Appearing vulnerable, letting people take advantage of him like all of his friends and his girlfriend did.

"I'm done with you,"

Drew walked away without making eye contact with anybody. He didn't even look to see if Henry and Liam were following him, and he frankly didn't care.

They were all assholes anyways.

They all used him.

Nobody mattered to him anymore. He was fine before meeting them, he'd definitely be fine without them, right?

Drew was leaving them all behind, he'd cut them out.

He would be better off without them.

Conclusion/Closing Thoughts:

I must admit, this did turn fanfic-y midway and it is not the most well-put together, I was really rushing to finish this.

A lot of what I am describing here is my subjective opinion and what I percieve ad Drew's P.O.V, not the objective facts.

Another confession I must make is that most of what is here is just me projecting a few months of therapy sessions onto Drew. My therapist dissected a lot of internal issues with me naturally, and they served to help me understand myself better and realize how much of my own issues applied on Drew aswell.

As I progress with my therapy and learn more about my own baggage, I might be able to remove the biased lens that I am seeing Drew through and might write a more well-constructed and objective analysis of him in the near future.

For now, however, this is all I have. Hope you liked it!! Happy late-birthday to Drewy Bear, and have a great day/night everybody!!!

[lcs-library]

Hiihiii

Can I request Italian Soda and Mocha for Azami and Kumon(if you write for them) thank uu, have a good day💖

Of course, of course!! I'll really write for anyone lolol, but it has been actual years since I wrote Kumon so I hope this turns out okay hehe<3. Have a lovely day!!

Request rules

Cafe menu(request prompts)

Mocha: How do they show affection?

Italian Soda: How clingy are they? 

Azami 

Mocha

💄 He definitely values quality time the most methinks.

💄 He’ll go out of his way to spend as much time with you as possible, no matter how or where.

💄 Hell, he even seems like the type that would be really happy to just parallel play, anything so long as he knows you’re there with him.

💄 “You free this afternoon? Good. There’s a new store that opened nearby, according to #cosme they’re top-notch. The troupe’s been running low on good stuff, and you’re a good model. Wh- No, I-I didn’t mean you’re cute! You’ve just got good skin to try stuff out on! Jeez, you gotta stop taking what I say in such bad faith…” 💄 That blurb was longer than I wanted wow. Anyway.

💄 He makes SO many excuses to see you.

💄 One day he might need a model, the next he needs help figuring out the schedule to help at one of Veludo Arts’ shows he offered to volunteer for. 

💄 Whatever it is, his claims are fairly easy to see through, and you can’t help but want to laugh at his childishness. 

💄 Aside from trying to spend time with you by any means possible, he also will buy small things for you as thanks for doing so. 

💄 Usually, it’s something like a drink or a snack, but on occasion, he’ll just randomly buy you something really wild, like an expensive piece of jewelry or a pricey menu item.

💄 When you ask him why, he’ll try and brush it off as nothing until you force it out of him with some affection. 

💄 “You didn’t have to kiss me to thank me, you idiot, you could’ve just said it! God, you are impossible! Fine, fine, I got it for you because… well, you’ve been really good to me. That’s it. I am NOT blushing!”

Italian Soda

💄 He can claim whatever he wants, but he’s clingy. Look at that man. 

💄 He loves you. Sorry but it’s true. He can complain and act tough all he wants, but he wants your attention and he will have it, dammit. 

💄 Like I said with the affection thing, he will constantly be coming up with ways to hang out with you, it’s very cute. 

💄 Hell, he’ll even enjoy your touch once in a while, that’s how smitten he is with you.

💄 I can see you two just sitting on the ground, with him sitting in front of you while he plays with your hands, bending each finger this way and that without saying a word. 

💄 It’s one of the rare times he lets his mind wander for a bit, not having the pressure building up in his head, and allowing himself to relax. 

💄 He doesn’t have to think about anything or anyone except you, holding him safe and close.

💄 He probably cried the first time you did this, too, and now he asks for it all the time.

💄 It’s what he deems a “safe” form of affection, he’s not going too far beyond what he’s comfortable with, and it’s soft and warm

💄 Augh I made this about affection again whoops. It’s fine, again, he asks for your attention as much as he can, even if it’s in his own silly way. 

Kumon 

Mocha

⚾ He’s very physical when it comes to affection!! ⚾ He’ll be all up in your business 24/7 to the point where you have to ask him to back off.

⚾ It’s cute tho so it’s ok<3

⚾ “Aw, but I gotta make sure you get your daily dosage! It’s really important that you know you’re loved! I wanna make sure you’re happy!”

⚾ Sweet boy… 

⚾ He’ll also be asking for affection from you often, usually hugs. Again, very cute.

⚾ He greets you every day with a big tackle into a hug, often surprising you. 

⚾ “Hehe, did I get ya? I missed you, cutie! C’mon, let’s go do something fun, okay?”

Italian Soda

⚾ YES. OH MY GOD YES HE IS SO CLINGY. 

⚾ If you thought his clinginess with his brother was annoying, boy just you wait. He is way worse with you. 

⚾ Okay, maybe not worse in the way of constantly asking for acknowledgement, but worse in the way of, again, being in your way. 

⚾ You cannot walk two steps without him trailing behind you, scooting in close. 

⚾ It’s to the point where you often have to ask him for space.

⚾ After setting some boundaries, he’s all good. Mostly.

⚾ Half of your phone’s storage is taken up by voicemails he left simply saying “I miss youuuuuuu you should come visit Mankai soon, okay! Alright, bye, love you!” And you just don’t have the heart to delete them :( 

⚾ But like. I don’t blame you :3

[petruchio]

i was lowkey tumblr stalking asks you’ve answered before (i apologize i just love how in depth u answer) and now i wanna know your tierlist (A/B/C/D/F) for the songs on GUTS. include deluxe pls bc imo the deluxe tracks are better than many main album tracks hehe

well first off you can ALWAYS stalk me and never apologize for it, i love answering stuff and i love that people actually read it HAHA! so please <3 stalk away <3 i love it

i LOVE this question. i was going to make one of those images like the youtubers do for tier lists but then i realized i would have to explain myself anyway so im just going to give each song a letter grade and a little blurb about why i think this... so here goes 🤓

i actually have to put this under a cut because it got so long that i am not going to clog up people's dash with my long and way too detailed thoughts on GUTS but please read this if it is of interest bc i would love to continue discussing haha

so first i'm going to say to me overall guts is like a solid A-/A for a sophomore album. i don't think it's perfect but i think as far as showing growth from the first album, expanding on themes and sounds that were explored in sour, and just maturing while still feeling like a natural progression -- i think it does all of that really nicely while also managing to carve out a unique niche for olivia in the industry. so like. YES! great. (i have been saying that while i see olivia compared to taylor swift a lot, i think it's actually a much better comparison to compare her to avril lavigne in the early 2000s -- avril was originally "discovered" via performing with shania twain (which in some ways we could argue for being a taylor/olivia situation but in the 90s) and a lot of her early work and songwriting is influenced by the country music scene, but, just like olivia, her first album smashed onto the scene and captured the teenage zeitgeist in a really unique and special that was really of the moment it was released and dug into rock inspired hooks and sounds that resonated with the audience of young teens. if "driver's license" is olivia's "complicated," i think we can easily argue that "good 4 u" is her sk8r boi. (and deja vu is her i'm with you, the best single and best song in both of their discographies I SAID WHAT I SAID!) anyway all that is to say i think that GUTS and under my skin ALSO share a lot of parallels both in how they were marketed and the way they dive deeper into darker themes while expanding on a lot of what made the first album great, if perhaps not spawning the level of radio hits as the first album. anyway it's just something i think about that i don't see talked about all that much and i find it really interesting. i could keep going but i know that was an insane digression so let's get to the grades.)

all american bitch - B+ i think this song is a great opener and it has some really great lines in it -- the sarcasm makes it so fun and tongue in cheek and i actually like the scream, my reason for not being able to give it an A is just that i do feel like it's very much "putting on a persona" of being a rock punk chick, which is absolutely cool and is extremely well done, it just doesn't feel 100% authentic to me. like, i like the scream but it feels more like an acting performance than a genuine scream of anguish, but olivia is such an appealing actress that i'm like, yeah girl go off

bad idea right? - A+ this is the deja vu of the album for me. it is SUCH A GOOD SONG and it has the best video by far of any of the singles, it's so clever and creative and i actually really love her vocal delivery, it's bratty and obnoxious but for some reason it DOES feel authentic to me in a way AAB doesn't, i think it takes its influences and manages to reinterpret and transform them into something totally unique and personal to olivia and it's just GREAT. (i think a great example of how good this song is is honestly the kelly clarkson cover she did, it was a really fun cover but you could just tell that olivia's version works better, it's a song that feels like it could only be done by her and i love it for that.)

vampire - B i actually thought i'd rate this lower bc it is my least favorite song on the album but like, okay it's FINE. my issue with vampire is that 1) it feels like the label said "write another ballad that sounds like drivers license and we'll use that as the lead single" which i don't like, and 2) i've written before that my main issue with vampire is that it DOES NOT COMMIT to the genuinely cool metaphor that it attempts. i actually love the line "you only come out at night" because i think it's really clever and creative to extend the "sucking me dry" metaphor of a vampire. i think following that up with "i used to think i was smart but you made me look so naive" is such a let down and so cliche that it annoys me every time i hear the song. like, if the song instead was like "i should have known it was strange, you only come out at night/you said i tasted so sweet til nothing was left in my veins" or something i would think it was a great song. but instead we get that clunky cliche of a line and it irritates me. the song has potential but it just doesn't deliver.

lacy - A- (tw: ed) so i think that this song is about struggling with an ed and i think it is really amazing if you read it through that lens. i don't even really want to say that much more about it because when i saw someone say that on twitter and i listened to the song thinking about that, it hit me really hard and i think it's brilliantly done but it's intense. i think olivia said that it came out of a poem she wrote and i think that lacy is the personification of that really personal struggle and i think it's a beautiful and deeply sad metaphor and the song actually does it really well. i also really love her vocal delivery on the recording and i think it's beautifully produced, the layered vocals at the end are really gorgeous.

ballad of a homeschooled girl - A- honestly i have the same comments as i do about all american bitch except i just think this song is slightly better and feels a little more authentic. i think the lyrics on this one are really clever as well and i love the little production quirks like "how to flirt" and the outro is SO FUN and i love the sort of fourth wall break of "can't think of a third line" and the la la la that just kind of smashes into the end of the song, i think it works so well with the concept of the song so yeah. great.

making the bed - B+ this is a song where i'm like, there's nothing WRONG with it i just don't think it's particularly special, like it's a good song and it has some really great lyrics i just think it's a decent song that accomplishes exactly what it sets out to do. it's good. no real notes. my favorite lyric is "they tell me that they love me like i'm some tourist attraction" -- i love when the pop girls talk about the complexities of fame, and olivia seems strikingly self aware in a lot of her lyrics and that one is really a hard hitter. (it reminds me of billie's getting older song, "the things i once enjoyed just keep me employed now" and "another thing i ruined i used to do for fun" which are both lines that i feel like really do a nice job of exploring how it feels when your art and artistic expression becomes a job and a persona. i think billie and olivia are doing so much cool stuff and they both just seem like such cool and interesting girls. they just give the vibe that it would be so fun to get dinner with them and talk about their experience of teenage fame because they both seem to have some really interesting and complex insights about it.)

logical - B- tbh this song is kinda boring to me. it's fine but i just think it's a theme that is explored better in other songs. the one line i really like is "if rain don't pour and sun don't shine" because i like to imagine that it's a reference to taming of the shrew act iv scene v.

get him back! - A+ SO GOOD COME ON GET HIM BACK IS SO GOOD AHHHHHH i get mad thinking about the music video bc the iphone lens makes it so weird and i think this could've had an even better video without the iphone gimmick but holy cow this song is so good. it's so clever, it's so fun, it ROCKS. (though this is the point on the album where i start to get annoyed by all the production quirks, i think they are fun on a couple songs but we don't need the "is this the song with drums" thing, just play the song. there's only so much studio chatter that makes a song fun before it gets a little grating to listen to every time i want to play the song.) but this is a brilliant song. I WANNA MEET HIS MOM AND TELL HER HER SON SUCKS. has anyone ever more perfectly captured how it feels to be nineteen. ugh this song is so good.

love is embarrassing - A i actually really like this song and i think it's a really nice spiritual closer to sour. it does such a nice job of reflecting but in a funny, tongue-in-cheek, self aware way that i think is so appealing and cute. i love "you found a new version of me and i damn near started world war three" as a callback to "another actress i hate to think that i was just your type" and i LOOOVE the outro with "i'm planning out my wedding with some guy i'm never marrying" which i think is a fantastic line. i love the vocal delivery on the outro as well. (also this is an example for me of a song with no studio chatter or production gimmicks, and it's GOOD bc it's like, it doesn't need that! it's just a fun song! and i like it for that!!)

the grudge - A- honestly a beautiful song that captures a very specific feeling. i love the melody and the way she delivers "how could anybody do the things you did so easily?" the second verse is an absolute gut punch of what it feels like to come away from a toxic love. it has a couple clunkers (i'm not a fan of "trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers" which i think is just a bit awkward) but overall it's a lovely song and so raw.

pretty isn't pretty - A again just a really solid work. i love the guitar sound on it. and i think it does a really nice job of capturing another specific teenage emotion. one thing i love on GUTS is that it feels legitimately balanced between songs about heartbreak and songs about personal feelings and this song is one that i think does that second part very well. i really love the second prechorus line "it's in my phone it's in my head it's in the boys i bring to bed" and i think this song is really insightful and personal.

teenage dream - B my issue with this song is my same issue with hope ur ok which is that it just feels so aware of itself as AN ALBUM CLOSER and i find it a bit cloying. i think the theme is interesting and has potential but the song just annoys me because it feels kind of overdone. idk. i just don't love it. i get it and i get why it's there but i think there was a better way of closing the album in a more genuine way.

BONUS TRACKS RANKING LINK (i have to link a new post here since i hit the character limit on this post. geez lol)

[cabeswaterdrowned]

for the ship asks: Noah/Blue and/or Noah/Blue/Gansey

Blue/Noah

Whether I ship it or not: yes I really do! They’re one of my favorite noncanon trc pairings tbh. I do think I was more actively into them on some previous rereads compared to recently but I still think they’re neat <3

Why I ship it or not: I mean they’re a lovely relationship whether you ship them or not, I love that Noah so immediately likes Blue (although obviously that was partly about her energy) that makes her feel more at home in the group, and as I mentioned in my notes consistently throughout the series when Blue is at her loneliest (the scene post the boat debacle in tdt / the kiss scene in tdt / the guiding counselor scene in BLLB) Noah will manifest and sort of reflect certain aspects of her feelings or allow her an outlet for them when normally it’s Blue who is the mirror to other chars, but Noah is also a mirror so that gets into an interesting territory the magic/world building of trc functioning as a metaphor for relationships and char work which is always my favorite way for magic in trc (and in many fantasy stories tbh but specifically in this context) to be utilized. So I think there is something very special to their scenes because of that thread and even though they don’t have as many as some other combos they tend to be emotionally impactful to me from that perspective. I generally enjoy when in paranormal stories there’s a blurred line or connection between love and death which is a big thing going on here but I’ll go into my thoughts on that in my Gansey/Blue/Noah answer otherwise I’ll be repeating myself. I also think while a lot of their interactions are very soft and adorable there’s often an undercurrent that’s just a little bit fucked up, such as Noah parasitically feeding off Blue’s energy (which she lets him do because she loves him so much..) or something of that nature, which makes it like. Real sweet but also real creepy, which is appealing to my tastes.

My opinion on their canon potential (chemistry, canon interactions, etc): well their kiss scene is definitely my favorite kiss scene in either series tbh but can you even call it a kiss with chemistry, or a kiss without chemistry for that matter, given it’s function in the story? That could be its own theoretical debate lol but I do think they consistently have really sweet moments of physicality such as the hair touching and hand holding and the pretzel-of-ghost-boy-and-not-psychic-girl scene. And like, it’s trc it’s the Gangsey there’s canon basis for p much everything ship wise.

My opinion on fanon interpretations/fandom around it (Favorite widespread hcs, pet-peeves, etc): I mean it isn’t that popular as a ship so would welcome more content around it.

Gansey/Blue/Noah

Whether I ship it or not: absolutely! one of my favorite triads in the Gangsey, actually there was a time a few years back where I would have called them my favorite that isn’t the case anymore since other ot3/triad dynamics have caught my eye more / I feel more strongly about at least 3 others than I do about this one, but it’s still really up there. Love them

Why I ship it or not: first of all on a thematic level there’s a lot to dig into with the three of them together. While obviously there is a lot going on in trc that is not the literal blurb, in theory the series is built around the idea of killing your true love with a kiss and the Blue x Noah kiss is essentially her first kiss with death because that’s what her kiss was always going to be, on my Blue Pinterest board I have a section labeled “her first and last kiss” (quote from that scene in the book) as my Gansey/Blue/Noah section. I just love the symmetry of the concept a lot. And then obviously just the transference kiss as a concept speaks to ot3 shipping imo. And then you have Gansey/Noah parallelisms re: their deaths and also the Whelk/Noah Gansey/Adam as foils part, and Blue and Noah being the two chars (besides maybe Henry which is a little different) who understand Gansey best which includes understanding his suicidality … there’s just a lot there that’s interesting imo and certain links between all three dynamics so that’s the perspective from which I enjoy it mostly.

My opinion on their canon potential (chemistry, canon interactions, etc): well Bluesey are canon and have plenty of chemistry imo, and I answered Blue x Noah already. I’m not going to say I think Gansey/Noah chemistry ranks high in terms of Gansey’s male friendships I do think it probably is the least homoerotic of them but like. There’s A Lot of competition to be fair. And there are moments (particularly the TRK scene where Gansey is swimming) that feel that way even if it’s less than other dynamics.

My opinion on fanon interpretations/fandom around it (Favorite widespread hcs, pet-peeves, etc): again mostly that I would like more exploration of it

[verycharismaticdragon]

Hey what if I did, like, a lets play of On Air Island but! an interactive one where we collectively choose the next option (via a poll) would anyone play with me

Um yeah to expound on that thought

What's On Air Island?

On Air Island is a game I'm currently brainrotting about.

The genre is stated as horror/thriller but even if you're not a fan of these genres id say still check it out because im not a fan either and Yet

This is perhaps because the game has a strong mystery element and encourages multiple replays/going back to try out different options (theres a really comfortable to use mechanic for that too!) so theres this drive to uncover more of the story. Which is why I'm still playing despite having finished all 40 endings already (yes, thats forty endings)

Quick plot blurb: the plot follows the cast and crew of a survival show called 'Never Stop Watching!' set up on a remote island. The show's unique setting is that every cast member streams their experience, and the winner is determined by the number of donations they receive on their stream. However, the island is not as simple as it appears, and soon enough the rankings will be the least of the cast's problems! (Que horror/thriller elements)

Why interactive Let's Play?

The thing I found the most refreshing about OAI is that you, the player, do not play as the protagonist, but rather as one of the viewers on the protagonist's stream. When the absence of 'i would not fucking say/do that' experience hits lol. Because of such setting, aside from the main cast, the presence of Observers - the fellow viewers - is strongly felt throughout the story as well. EzraHanse girlies in the chat you will always be famous. And... sometimes other Observers have completely different ideas about what's good for blorbo from your streams!

Then, since I run a poll aggregator blog and see like hundreds of polls a day, the vision of in-game choices and tumblr polls overlapped in my brain...

...and I thought, hey, wouldn't it be extremely atmospheric and true to in-game experience to have a bunch of people chipping in to determine the advice and tasks the protagonist receives from his viewers? Thus, the idea of doing an interactive lets play was born.

What are the pros of participating in the Let's Play, instead of just playing the game?

Well, first of all, this is absolutely my dastardly plan to make y'all play the game, make no mistake!

That said, if you aren't sure you are interested in playing it, you can experience the story in bite-sized chunks (i just vidded the prologue up to the first choice, and its less than 2 minutes!) on a semi-daily basis, with a little dopamine hit of clickin' the button at the end <3

Another thing is that making 'a donation' - ie, a choice in game - requires in-game currency. There are various ways to farm currency and there are almost always cheaper choices available, however! Since I already played and replayed multiple times, I have many choices unlocked, and it'll be easy for me to farm for the remaining ones. Especially now that I got all the endings and the desire to find the best one no longer plagues me so. So - you can experience the game while avoiding the grind!

And, ofc, as I've mentioned before, having many viewers/Observers would be very true to the atmosphere of the game. Ideally, I would hope for some discussion in the comments too, to parallel the in-game chat! This is also why I hope people who already played the game will participate too 👉👈 The more Observers we have the better, right? ;3

What if I don't vibe with watching videos / miss something / etc?

I'm planning to have a transcript available for each video, and something like a story-so-far post that you can check out to get up to date at any point. I also figure I'll be adjusting the format along the way, if we can get this party started at all, so feel free to suggest improvements to me at any time!

[bitterrobin]

tiny appreciation post/insane rambling about Tom Bronson

re-re-re-reading JSA 2007. Tom Bronson is a good character, fight me. Everyday I claw at the air in rage for the many characters introduced into the JSA and then never given any more detail. There's just too many people in the '07 JSA, man. Too Many. Tom is unfortunately one of those comic characters that has a super niche fanbase and nothing to follow up on outside of JSA.

so, in light of me inserting him into the TAXONOMY!verse and putting the guy smack dab into the Battle for the Cowl and Bette Kane's radar - I'm just gonna gush a little bit about his first appearance. (and include some headcanons for the au).

Putting aside my favorite Old Man Trio, can I just say that I like how pretty the art makes Tom look? The first time I read this comic, I got a very James Dean/1950's bad boy vibe from Tom. I'd like to think it was a little bit intentional in order to parallel Ted Grant and his eternal Old Americanism. At least it's something I'll keep in mind.

Getting into the main post though, throughout his first appearance and the later fight with Vandal Savage, its made clear that Tom is surprisingly knowledgable about superheroes and the surrounding goings-on of them. He knows who Wildcat is (though obviously Ted is canonically an old hero, he has to be somewhat well-known) and he instantly recognizes Vandal Savage.

(sidenote: Ted looks like a stiff Barbie doll being thrown into the kitchen there)

I take the fact that he recognizes and correctly identifies heroes/villains as a point towards my "Tom is an observant and analytical person" hc.

Earlier on in issue #3, we see that Tom gets right to heart of things when talking with Ted and that he's quick to reach (somewhat right) conclusions.

Despite this, he doesn't really show it anymore as he quickly drifts into a side character spot as the comic run goes in. I choose to believe that Tom doesn't voice his thoughts to the JSA bc he doesn't know them well and he prefers to make snarky remarks in conversation instead of inserting himself into anything personal.

Later on in the series, Tom is reluctant to learn how to box and is shown to dislike fighting in general.

Given the whole estranged-dad-is a famous boxing champ thing, Tom probably doesn't like boxing specifically because of Ted. He says that he doesn't like fighting because of his were-cat form, which it's assumed that he would unconsciously shapeshift into whenever he got into conflict.

(sidenote: why is this the only time I see his inner monologue in comics *sob*)

This distinct trait of disliking combat, at least the personal fist-flying kind, is definitely something I'm including in the au.

Both Tom and Bette are chosen for the au partially because I like them, but also because they have distinct personalities and philosophies that clash with baby Damian Wayne who's coming fresh into the Bat-scene. There will be conflict as Damian will dislike and mostly abhor Tom's personal disdain for fighting. Tom doesn't seem to fight unless necessary and he canonically prefers to rely heavily on his powers to get out of fights. He's only shown getting more violent than usual after Grant Emerson's death, which is pretty reasonable. They were clearly fast and close friends.

Hooo boy Grant should not have died. Especially in Blackest Night, of all things. Despite my personal dislike of it though, I'm still flip-flopping between leaving him dead and then resurrecting him in the au - or just ignoring his canon death altogether. On one hand, I like Grant and I like their friendship so I want him to appear in the au somewhere (alongside Maxine). On the other, his death allows for a just a little bit of dramatic character development/detailing for Tom that lets me explain why he's not with the JSA and instead is in Gotham. Choices.....

Ending the post here with the final smorgasbord of headcanons and blurbs for the au.

he is Mexican-American, but distant from his roots because his mom raised him single and cut-off from her larger family.

he and Bette will enter a relationship. It came to me in a vision and I decided to implement it bc why not. Tom/Bette is bi4bi.

they start dating bc they both strike me as "why not?" type of people, but it develops relatively quickly after Damian enters the picture and they have to co-parent/watch over him as Gotham collapses in slow-motion around them

its shown in the background of some of the panels above that he's into music, specifically guitar and piano

so he will be in a band at some point

bc Alfred does not have the same relationship with Damian in the au, Tom is one who gives him/lets him keep the kitten

(also bc I don't subscribe to the "League of Assassins hate/kill animals" idea - Tom bonds with Damian over a mutual care for animals/cats)

Tom and Damian are a rocky pair, and it takes them longer to get along than Bette does with Damian

He treats Damian as the annoying little brother he never had, and their sense of humor kinda lines up

Tom fully encourages Damian’s sarcasm and rude comebacks

Believe me, there will be a scene where Tom unconsciously purrs in his werecat form and Damian definitely notices

adding to the maybe Grant stays dead part, I'm still iffy on whether to include a one-sided crush on Tom's part that adds to the angst

unlike Grant though, I'm definitely keeping Yolanda Montez alive

Tom and Yolanda have a semi-distant sibling relationship that's a little awkward bc of the age gap and differing experiences with Ted

Might also resurrect Jake Grant, I need the Wildcat family reunion

Ted and Tom still talk, and even though Tom doesn't stick with the JSA, he's still regularly invited to whatever gathering they have

Tom still keeps up with working out/a bit of training - but he focuses on defense and avoidance instead of out-right conflict

Tom got into heroism bc of Ted, but he stuck with it bc of Grant and Maxine

he does not have strict ideals or a drive to save the world, but he likes to focus on the small things and helps where he can

[poetrywise]

Horror

I've been thinking about horror lately (both in terms of creeping existential dread, as you do, and horror as a genre), and it struck me that I've never really been all that frightened by fiction billed as horror. It's not my preferred genre, so my exposure is limited, but I wouldn't say anything I've read has caused me to feel fear. Discomfort, disgust, occasional boredom, but not fear per se. Now, the books that do make me feel genuine hair-raising fear are largely non-fictional, which... I guess, defeats the point? To many, horror is a comfort genre because it's much safer to read about quantifiable and defeatable evil (or even, in the absence of a happy ending, still knowing that monsters probably won't come after you from another planet or a haunted house), but I take my comforts elsewhere. Don't get me wrong, I love horror elements in various genres (the latest beautiful example is <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/207712471-a-bone-in-his-teeth">A Bone In His Teeth</a> by Kellen Graves, with its stunning atmosphere of a creepy seaside town, a solitary lighthouse, and suspicious goings-on in the woods), but nothing scares me the way RL does, especially in the past two years. That's honestly kind of sad XD So here's my top 5 most terrifying books I've ever read:

1984 by George Orwell. And we start with the exception XD Yes, I said novels didn't scare me. Except this one. I read it as a teen, long before my life pretty much turned into this novel, and I categorically refuse to reread it. Its disturbing realism, bleak ending and pervasive hopelessness are scary enough without drawing parallels with RL, but if you start doing that, it's goodbye sanity XD And don't get me started on the rats.

2. <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/series/194472-people-s-trilogy">People's Trilogy</a> by Frank Dikotter. This is a comprehensive and gut-punching history of China from Mao's revolution to his death, including the famine and the Cultural Revolution. Tells you pretty much all you need to know about having a lunatic in power. Volumes 1 and 3 in particular left me shrivelled up in terror. I think the power of this book is that none of the horrors are described luridly. This isn't shock value, this was commonplace, and that's the scary part.

3. <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/128066.The_Pianist">The Pianist</a> by Wladyslaw Szpilman. I watched the movie as a kid and had nightmares, probably because it was my first exposure to certain aspects of WWII as more than an idea. Years later, I saw the book and impulsively bought it as a way to fight back against the fear the movie had stirred up. For me, the most terrifying part is that the author is not a soldier, but a regular person, a musician, to whom the war just happens. The injustice of the ending (not sor Szpilman, thank god, but for someone who helped him a great deal) is absolutely heart-wrenching.

4. <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/71149.Journey_into_the_Whirlwind">Journey into the Whirlwind</a> by Eugenia Ginzburg. Stalin's GULAG. Do I need to explain more? Actually, that's not even the scariest part - because if you read the blurb, you obviously expect that. For me, the saddest and most frightening part is watching the faith that the author had in her country and its leadership crash against reality: the state doesn't give a shit, everyone is an enemy, there is no rhyme or reason to anything that happens to the author and her family.

5. <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10234229-the-taste-of-war">The Taste of War: World War Two and the Battle for Food</a> by Lizzie Collingham. A very comprehensive story of food just before, during, and after WWII, including soldiers' rations, what civilians ate, what famines struck which countries, etc. It tells the stories of both warring sides and is not limited to Europe and America. Food is something those of us who are privileged to have it don't think much about, so reading about the normal supply chains and consumption processes being disrupted gives me a visceral sort of fear. Again, nothing here is for shock value. The book packs such a punch precisely because it's rational, well-researched, and informative. And so very real.

Bonus: <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40604846-nothing-to-envy">Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea"</a> by Barbara Demick. Another masterful example of portraying the sheer ordinariness of terror of life in a dictatorship. The people in this book are relatable, vividly drawn, and just trying to live their lives, sometimes not even realizing they live in a nightmare. Sometimes getting out of the nightmare is even scarier.

This was my little list of horrors Now, what scares you? XD

[reslari]

Time to clutter up the timeline, but I had the idea to follow up on the Soulstober post I made with some fun comments that I didn't put on the actual AO3 work (mostly because they sort of interrupt the flow of the very short stories), so I'll do it here where only the real OGs will be able to see what I say.

Day 1: Wings

Lot of people drew Malenia for the wings, and that's fair, but almost all of them did her second phase. I love her Scarlet Valkyrie imagery (and her helmet. God I love that helmet), and the fact her trinkets in Elden Ring reference the wings and victory just was a no-brainer.

Day 2: Scavenge

I linked the fic to my girlfriend. About two minutes later I just hear her yell "Damn it, Patches!" from the other room. Clearly I did something right.

Day 3: Eye

Just wanted to do something for the dead Choir dude you find with the Cosmic Eye Watcher badge on their corpse. Also wanted the Upper Cathedral Ward to fall apart in a lot of the same ways and for a lot of the same reasons as the Research Hall did (In the Hunter's Nightmare, at least). Parallels!

Day 4: Cold

I wanted to go contrary to how many people were drawing Friede (and one or two of Priscilla, bless those folks) for this. Also, wanted to fit as many references to many different kinds of "cold" as possible. Cold tension between Maria and her mother, cold weather at Cainhurst, Maria's slow descent into a much colder personality, and of course, cold and dead. (Ask me what I think Maria was like at Byrgenwerth pre-massacre sometime)

Day 5: Stars

Back to predictability, it's just a quick post-script to the Age of Stars ending from Elden Ring, with a gender-neutral Tarnished. Yes, I do rather enjoy that ending.

Day 6: Rot

Most people associate Malenia with rot, which is fair! Hers is the strongest association, of course. But Friede is the OG on that one.

This is just a quick blurb about what I think was actually going on in Ariandel. Read this and it'll be obvious why I decided to write Rosenrot in the first place.

Then ask me about my Friede headcanons/interpretations sometime.

Day 7: Rune

Caryll is just a silly little guy. Also I know the game calls them "inhuman mutterings of the Great Ones" but I just love playing with the idea that the language of the Great Ones is a whole entire Experience that isn't actually like listening to words.

Day 8: War

Golden Order vs. Caria and Marika's decision to sic Radagon on Rennala. Whether or not that was a good idea or Marika shot herself in the foot in the funniest way possible will depend on what you consider the relationship between Radagon, Marika, and Rennala all was.

Also I love unhinged Marika. The original ending of the chapter had her cursing her steward to never be able to talk again, but it flowed weird.

Day 9/10: Window/Sibling

I had this really strong image of Lothric sitting at a window and talking to his brother. In lieu of trying to come up with a second prompt for the second day, I just combined the two together into one.

I love Lorian and Lothric. Fun characters, probably my second favorite boss fight in Dark Souls 3. Banger soundtrack.

Day 11: Fear

So my girlfriend started a new Bloodborne playthrough last weekend, and while I was sitting on my computer playing a much brighter and friendlier game, I couldn't help but note just how panicked and fearful the huntsmen are wandering the streets of Central Yharnam when they attack you (and even when you hear them muttering to themselves). They're absolutely terrified of you, of your Hunter. There are a lot of things to fear in Yharnam, but your Hunter seems to be one of the most central ones. When disempowerment of the player/character is sort of a hallmark of the Souls series, Bloodborne flipped that on its head in a way, too, just like the slower Dark Souls combat. You're the apex predator here. You're an unknown variable, and you're terrifying.

Then you kill the townsfolk, and their gods, and you sort of prove them right in a way; they SHOULD have been afraid of you.

Man I love Bloodborne.

Day 12: Rain

Breakdown of cycles, weather patterns. Also a slight reference to that post in the main tags that's like "Bloodborne: Sopping wet, Dark Souls: Dusty and dry, Elden Ring: Normal amount of humidity".

Like what if the "dry" was a side-effect of disrupted weather cycles due to the Flame's waning?

(I say "dry" but you run through all kinds of mud and puddles in Dark Souls, and places like Irithyll are still snowing. So, there's still precipitation somewhere.)

Day 13: Mystery

Fia and Rogier and something akin to pillow talk. Going to Stormveil Castle and plumbing the depths beneath it can only end well for Rogier, right? :')

[raredecline]

the whale (2022)

i went into this movie without knowing what the hell it was gonna be about outside of the two-sentence blurb i'm finding that i really like psychological dramas, as they pump my shoulders up with a sense of fake sophistication. as a tl;dr: this movie made me cry, but i don't think it was darren aronofsky's direction or samuel hunter's script.

brendan fraser was phenomenal, and sadie sink has an incredibly bright future ahead of her. their scenes together - and only together - were dynamic and raw. brendan brought this pure, optimistic nature to charlie that made my heart wrench for him every time he was looked down on, and even more so when sadie's enraged, near-sociopathic (?) portrayal of ellie berated her own father. hell, her first words to him are asking if she'll be fat like him. but i really think charlie's innate desire to want to provide something for his estranged daughter, after years of not being able to do so, is an almost-perfect foil to ellie's i-hate-everyone-and-you-especially-can-fuck-off demeanor... which builds up into the film's climax (and denouement). the two of them made me cry, and i ended up having a damp mask until i got to my car.

as for the rest of the cast, i wasn't as impressed. hong chau (liz) and samantha morton (mary) had amazing moments, where i felt like i was right there with them, exasperated and aching and angry re: charlie... but whenever there was an outburst or something, i was kinda pushed back out of the car of the scene, watching omnisciently and passively - like i knew they were just acting. with that being said, hong chau's very last scene with fraser is so gutterly real, it hurts.

which leads me to this: i'll eat my words if i'm wrong about it, but the directing on the actors' movements took me out of the scene the most. maybe it was to emphasize charlie's inability to freely move, i don't know, but every single character that faced off with him in his living room constantly did repeat motions: stand in anger, pace to a spot in the room (fridge, counter, table, sofa, chair), come back to original place marker, repeat. it was personally distracting, but i'm probably the only freak who would hyperfixate on something like that.

all this rambling and no review on the story. the meat! of the story! now this is where i expose myself at being horrible at expressing and articulating my thoughts out loud. the parallels between charlie's favorite essay (ellie's 8th grade piece on moby dick - side note, what school makes kids in the 8th grade read that behemoth?) and the way he lives his life were poignant. my ap lit teacher actually had us skip all the "boring whale chapters," and i never actually read the entire book, but i honestly regret it if it's anything like how ellie describes it. the commentary on christianity - thomas innately believing he can "fix" charlie's homosexuality, "fix" charlie's problems - hits the nail on the head.

my gripe lies with the aronofsky's portrayal of society being disgusted with obesity. does he believe it? i feel like he also is disgusted by it, considering i just learned he thought it impossible to find an actually obese actor who could play this part. i don't know, he could have honestly just said he really wanted fraser to be in this film rather than being fatphobic.

this review's all over the place, and i might come back to edit and/or add thoughts later, but it is what it is at 3:30am.

i just wanted to add matthew libatique's cinematography was aesthetically pleasing.

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

Awakening by Elexis Bell

The Regonia Chronicles #1

Thought provoking look at ethical issues involving humans and aliens that at times felt in parallel with human interactions taking place on this planet. In this first book of the series the stage is set, we are introduced to significant characters and given background information. I am not sure if music will play a part throughout the series or not – I found myself skipping over the song titles while reading.

What I liked: * Reginald: loving human father, protective, willing to sacrifice himself for his wife and daughter – wondering if he and Rone (alien Drennar) might find solace in one another in the future – felt he had the toughest situation to deal with of all the characters

* Ricardo: human military guard, seeks to not stand out, abused as a child, protective, intelligent, believes in doing what is right, drawn to Olivia, see potential for him in the future

* Olivia: bright, abandoned by her father Reginald and left to her own devices by her mother Eva, computer genius, depends on alcohol for escape, has potential to grow in the series

* Krona: alien from Regonia, of the Daen tribe, warrior king, kidnapped, dealing with false memories, believes his wife is still alive and wants to find her, strong, fierce, has a moral compass

* Tenna: alien from Regonia, of the Daen tribe, warrior queen, kidnapped, dealing with amnesia, overwhelmed with sorrow but not sure why

* The plot, pacing, and setting – introduction to the characters, their origins, and history was minimal but enough to get the basics and easy to build on in future books

* That the bad guys were routed out and arrested although they did a LOT of evil – hope they are tried and dealt with and do not escape

* Thinking about where this story will go and if the humans will be left behind as Tenna and Krona work to reestablish their tribe and people

What I didn’t like:

* Who and what I was meant not to like

* Thinking about why people feel justified in doing horrible things to others – in this book and in this day and age to real people

Did I enjoy this book? It was okay

Would I read more in this series? Maybe – I’d like to see what direction the next book will go

Thank you to NetGalley and the author for the ARC – This is my honest review.

3-4 Stars

BLURB

Tortured by memories implanted by his captors, Krona knows only one thing. He must find Tenna, his partner, his Queen. She can’t be dead. But when Ricardo, one of his human guards, tells him she’s alive on another space station, the truth might be just as painful as their lies. With her memories missing and her planet supposedly destroyed, Tenna struggles to acclimate to life among humans. Olivia, a spaceship pilot and hacker, does her best to help. When a guard shows up with an alien Tenna knows she’s seen before, it’s obvious things aren’t what they seem. When they learn that family ties bind enemy and ally, Krona and Tenna can only hope the honor they see in their human friends is strong enough to overcome blood. Can they work together to save themselves, their minds, and their tribe? Or will they lose everything?