#this part was so fucking funny i love that they didn't know what prince charles looks like. so true

[sonego]

Charles Leclerc trying hard (and failing) to guess the Monte Carlo track in The F2 Emoji Challenge

[dvar-trek]

Romance Roundup: Part 1

this summer, after succumbing to my knitting injuries, i fell into a romance novel rabbit-hole. they are like candy for me. they're low-effort, fun, a quick source of joy, and keep me from endlessly scrolling jpost for israel news. also i can usually finish one in a day or two. so all in all, i ended up reading a total of 90 romance/kissing books.

the stats:

84 queer

13 novella-length

4 that i really feel i gave a fair shot but didn't finish

the top 7 (in no particular order):

A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland- a fantasy book wherein the prince and his sworn bodyguard fall in love. some light (as in dangerous but not overly complex) political intrigue. plenty of world-building, but the author doesn't ever bore you with explanations you don't want. the writing is a little clumsy at times, but in spite of myself i found this book and the characters so utterly charming.

Enlightenment Trilogy (Provoked, Beguiled, and Enlightened) by Joanna Chambers- takes place in regency-late georgian scotland. two men who are dedicated to their respectable (but very different) lives. in order to keep what's important to them, they each plan to go through life just having anonymous, one-off encounters with other men, and needless to say, they upend that for one another. features radical politics, arguments about what matters in life, george iv's visit to scotland, and confronting your past. i thought about this extensively, but i simply do not think i can describe the plot in a way that will be helpful. you are just going to have to trust me. a linked short story and bonus-epilogue-novella are also availble on the author's website.

10 Things That Never Happened by Alexis Hall- man sort of accidentally fakes amnesia to keep his asshole boss from firing everyone. only they end up sort of falling for each other for real. modern setting, funny and sad, and the kind of slow-burn romance that makes your chest hurt. it does take place over christmas, but not in a fluffy, christmassy way. like, even i, America's Number One Christmas Hater, who would never have touched it had i known about the christmas element going in, found it to be completely tolerable amount of christmas, and a thoroughly enjoyable book. i read everything on my top 7 list multiple times, but this is one that really rewards your second read-through.

Captive Prince Trilogy (Captive Prince, Prince's Gambit, and Kings Rising) by C.S. Pacat- fantasy setting wherein a prince is kidnapped and enslaved in an enemy realm, and eventually has to ally with his cruel captor in order to save his own kingdom. plenty of political maneuvering, military skirmishes, court intrigue, and secret night mission shenanigans (with disguises). another chest-aching slow burn that rewards multiple read-throughs. there's also a linked short story collection, The Summer Palace, which includes a bonus epilogue.

A Rulebook for Restless Rogues (book 2 in Lucky Lovers of London) by Jess Everlee- victorian-era romance, featuring drag, lifelong best friends, and some of the best (hottest) sex scenes on this list. the proprietor of an underground gentlemen's club for queer men fights to keep his club open and his people safe, both from the law and from the volatile aristocrat who owns the place. he also definitely doesn't have feelings for his best friend. anymore. probably.

England World (Think of England, and prequel Proper English) by KJ Charles- two excellent books; one a houseparty/treason investigation and one a houseparty turned murder mystery. as everyone knows, it's extremely dangerous to attend a houseparty while single, because you will fall hopelessly in love, but you will also be in mortal peril. i am. too fucking feral about these characters to say anything useful. i am completely aware that this does nothing to help my case, but i cannot help it. i am unable to be normal about them, even in the effort to convince people to read these books. also please note that even though the covers are. quite bad. the writing is excellent and well-researched. also also, there's a bonus epilogue on the author's website, featuring additional sex, good jokes, and bad poetry.

An Unnatural Vice (book 2 in Sins of the City) by KJ Charles- the whole trilogy is worth reading (in order!) but this is definitely the strongest of the 3, and i found it to be the most compelling of the romances. a victorian-era mystery/suspense series, featuring an inheritance plot, murders in the fog, and fake séances. a "spiritualist" who defrauds the wealthy and the investigative jouranlist determined to expose his tricks find themselves hate-fucking, running from murderers, arguing about class politics, and both saving and upending each others' lives.

honorable mention:

Sailor's Delight by Rose Lerner- #1 brain-rewiring book of the year. 1813 sailing master in the british royal navy and his naval agent fall in love. the book takes place over 1 week of shore leave (which coincides with the high holy days), although they have known each other (and known that they can never be together) for almost a decade. uh. listen. this book is both fun and well-researched, but it is not, like, Good™. there is a shirtless man on the cover and there's not even any fucking in the book. the main characters are named Elie and Augie which is completely unsexy. BUT. they changed my brain chemistry and i've plotted out their entire lives in my head from the moment they met and i'm fucking feral about them.

romance roundup part 2

[the-princess-with-pancakes]

TV Shows Weekly 10/20 (06)

Wow. A big slip this week. Yeah, sorry for that. But I made it. Watched everything I promised to watch and covered it all. I caught up with The Walking Dead (2010-), which was hard, I watched like 4 ep a day. And with my working hours it was a challenge. Also sorry to say, that I won't cover Supernatural (2005-) next week. Just to episodes, to watch. And I have too much to do, outside TV Series.

Better Call Saul (s05e03) Another great episode, from start to finish. First the action with Mike, I loved it, I just can't get enough of him. How great is it for a man like Mike, to live up to his name, his legend, like this, just by little things like that. Jimmy did, what he always does, gets what he needs to have done. This time he messed up big tho. And with his fault of course. If he didn't get mixed with them earlier, he wouldn't be, where he is now. What we also got, is out favorite DEA Agent back, in some ways. It's great, to see him again, especially with his partner and especially digging where he needs to dig, to be longer and more often in the series. I haven't seen that actor in a long time and he may not be the best, but his the best Hank we got, so let's stick with that. And lastly, to sum up, the biggest highlight, in my opinion, Kim Waxler, who is probably the best character right now, with "the best" I meant, the noblest. She is doing the best she can, trying to help people and no one can say otherwise. She knows, how important the law is and she nows, how to get around it when it's necessary. Like with Mike, I can't get enough of her, I hope she'll be okay soon. We can all see, what she's going through and what impact does it have on her. I'm sorry for her. I almost forgot. Saul mode: 65% - The way, he fed Hank, how he made that scenario, it was very impressive. I can't say it was better, then what he did in the last episode, but I'm impressed.

Miracle Workers: Dark Ages (s02e06) The second half of the season has just started and it's looking pretty solid. This episode was even a bit good. Not so funny, as usual, but it'll do. I like the road, the creator chose to go with Prince Chauncley. Really. I think it's a big step forward, to not show him as a moron anymore, but to grow, understand, empathize. His crush took a bit off guard, but it's okay when you think about it. When they showed the King, I had a big smile on my face, but he turned as psychotic as in the last episode. Maybe a little less. Fine, less. That skull crush and a bag full of skulls was a great idea. I hope it comes back.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (s07e06) Sometimes the episodes have arcs more mature than funny and although the writers did their best, I haven't laughed that much. But I can say, that this was a really good episode. The arc with Jake and Amy trying to have a baby was a bit sad at times, but it's okay because comedy works well with drama. Their ways were entertaining to watch, but hard to swallow because none of it didn't work. And it was summed up with a sad ending. As for the other parts: Hitchocs wedding was okay, but the guinea pigs were funny at times. I like it when Rosa and Charles how something to do. They have a weirdly fun relationship, witch, in the end, is pretty exciting to watch. I hope to see more of them working together soon.  The best arc tho was with Holt tho. Short, funny, about a growing character. Just great.

The Walking Dead (s10e11) Yes. I did it. I caught up. It was hard, but I made it. I'm not gonna go to the details this time tho, it was a good, but disappointing episode, also there were too many arcs in this episode, to cover all of them. The biggest ones tho, starting with Eugene. I like him in this state of mind. Kind of. I'm not sure, I liked, how he ran after Rosita, but I think their friendship is better and I like seeing it just better. I don't know about that woman tho, Stephanie. I didn't read the comics, so I can't say, I think she's good. I hope she's good. This is the second new community, they discovered (not yet, but you know, what I mean) this season, to assume of course, that Stephanie and that guy in Oceanside aren't from the same community. Which is huge. The last new community they discovered was Oceanside, excluding The Whisperers. And that was a while ago. The second arc I want to cover is The Whisperers and Negan. I'm sorry to see, that two times, he tried to do something good, it always turned out worse, than it was. And I'm sorry, that this fucking kid broke him, and he started working with the bad guys. I love this character, the way he's written and the relationship he has with everyone around Rick, I don't want to see him go. My theory is, that he turned good and is working against The Whisperers from the inside. I know, it doesn't look that way, but I believe it. I mean, come on, he wouldn't do anything to hurt Michone or Judith. Especially Judith. She's probably his best friend right now. And I want more Judith/Negan scenes, 'cause they were just the best. After Alpha "turning down" his idea, about the main characters to join them, I think, he's gonna do something special and will try to save them. And the third and last arc, I'll call it "The Horde". The attack was pretty short. 8 minutes. That was the most disappointing thing about this episode. It was entertaining to watch, but nothing special, which is, what I'm expecting from TWD. Something amazing, some great action to watch, heartbreaking moments, killing off some characters I like (I don't want that, but I'm so used to it, that it's starting to get a bit boring when everyone stays alive) and I got 1/3 of that. And that's disappointing. But the cliffhanger's great. I can't wait for the next episode. I miss binge-watching this show. Also, I discovered, that most of the episodes have people just wandering alone someplace and then others trying to help them, so I created anther fun bonus. TEW (This Episodes Wanderer): no one - but believe me, this happens a lot! Maybe it's because of the action. Yeah, it's definitely, to show more action.

[queennicoleinboots]

Day 54 of Peter and Xara the Goat's Curse:

Battle of the Bands of Goats, Walrus Bear Pigs, Cats, Clowns, and Asgardian Gods, part 1

Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater was particularly angry that day. He couldn't get his computer to work because he was a typical baby boomer who was computer illiterate. He couldn't get the toaster to work because the toaster was inanimate and didn't understand Gaelic.

"Wow! Nothing fucking works today!" Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater said as he was beating the toilet. "Not even this goddamn toilet."

"That's because it's not a standard," I said. "In Georgia, they made this bullshit law about standard toilets being illegal."

"Correct. I'm beating the toilet to rebel against that law!" Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater yelled as he beat the toilet.

"Please do," I said.

When he finished fixing the toilet, his phone rang. He went to his phone and discovered a wild spam caller was calling. He answered.

The famous Pokemon theme song played in the background.

A bunch of bullshit came from the other end of the phone.

"Who are you trying to reach?... Who are you trying to reach?...Who are you trying to reach?... You're an idiot," Mr. Thor said as he hung up the phone.

The Pokemon theme song ended.

"Yep. This world is broken. Emergency secret society of goats meeting is required. I need assistance with life. Everything is breaking!" Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater yelled. He used his phone to mass contact all members of the goat society.

I used my phone to E-mail Lindsay who was my modest friend from Savannah, a new friend who is a local mechanic, and Peter W. Parker to tell them about this emergency meeting. I mentioned that Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater had demanded this meeting.

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig contacted me after I sent my E-mails. He said, "I miss you. I want to bring thee spaghetti squash. Where will you be soon?"

I texted my walrus bear pig back, "I look forward to my spaghetti squash. I have a secret meeting... soon. I'll meet you outside. Miss you, Buh!!!!"

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig texted me instantly. "May I bring Kissy? She has been glued to me all day." He then sent me a picture of her.

I looked at the text of Kissy laying on my bae. I texted him, "Yes you may. She is precious. I need to pet her."

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig texted me again. It said, "I need ass and an heir. Our daughter, Kissy, volunteers to honor us."

I responded, "My meeting shall honor our heir."

Murphee went to his food bowl and ate dry dog food.

Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater prepared for the meeting.

Lindsay responded. "I'm on my way. What is the ceremony? Also, Prince Carrington is attending."

I responded to her, "The ceremony involves inducting a new member, Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater and his need to fix his existence, and the announcement that I am the mother of a new Asgardian God. Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig and the rest of us celebrate."

Lindsay responded, "::shrugs:: I hope my goat comes to me."

I responded, "She will. Embrace her, Lindsay. You are my woman of honor."

She responded, "I am lucky to be one with goat spirits. You have blessed me several times. I thank thee."

I responded, "I thank you."

Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater said, "The meeting is on Sunday. The goats are strong then."

"I will communicate this!" I screamed. "I must troll Peter Parker. With my secretarial skills, may I reach the same rank as that curly-haired ass?'

"Yes!!!! I hate that asshole, but he is important!!!" Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater said.

I spammed whom I knew in the secret society of goats with messages about this emergency meeting. I also alarmed Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig of the date of the meeting.

Murphee whined and howled in excitement about the meeting.

Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater then beat his phone to repair it from the stress he put it through.

Lindsay then responded, "I will stay the night at a hotel and then see you all on Sunday. I couldn't be prouder of you. I say that on my rank 6 of Goat Authority!"

I responded with a virtual bleat.

Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater said, "The meeting must commence on Sunday.'"

Lindsay responded with a virtual funny goat scream.

I then texted Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig, "I await that ceremony. The world will know of our love."

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig responded, "It will be a glorious day, Bae. In other news, I have prepared fish for dinner. Come home."

On that note, I bid farewell to Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater who was then beating his flip phone. He also was excited for the emergency meeting.

___________________________________________

Saturday, July 20, 2019

For some reason, I felt like singing all day. Maybe it was because I was so happy that I had fish for dinner. I love when Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig makes fish. His fish is always so delicious. He is an excellent walrus bear pig cook. I love him to death.

It was my turn to make Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig some food, so I fried some eggs for him. While I was cooking, I was "singing" along with Children of Bodom's "Are You Dead Yet?"

In the middle of my song, none other than an angry Peter W. Parker calls me.

"Hello?" I said as I put the eggs on the plate and topped them with cheese.

"Grrrr. How are you? I'm an angry fast food clown. Of course Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater has to have an emergency meeting right when I dye my hair ORANGE!!!! It's orange. I can't believe it!!!!!" Peter W. Parker said loudly.

I laughed. "Well, I'm amused. I'm also feeding Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig his breakfast. He hungry," I said as I put a nectarine on the plate for Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig. I then ascended the stairs to feed my walrus bear pig.

"You're always ready to feed that walrus bear pig. Or you guys could come to McDonalds to see me. I literally look like Ronald McDonald. Why is the world doing this to me?" Peter asked with his trademark sigh.

"Why did you dye your hair? It was a beautiful color before," I said to Peter over the phone as I gave Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig his breakfast.

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig was playing League of Legends, so he ate and played.

"I wanted to hide some of the gray hairs that were overpowering my brunet ensemble," Peter said. "Now I have an ORANGE ensemble on top of my head. I'd rather have gray. This is horrible. I was going for a copper/auburn, but it. turned. orange. Orange. I'm not kidding!"

"Wow! Okay! He has a million health and takes half my life away in one combo! Kills me! Has good movement speed, God-like armor. Hell, why don't we just give him everything?! Let's call it God Mode. God! Worst balance system ever! I hate when games fucking do this! They shouldn't even make characters like Darius!" Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig yelled as he was still playing League of Legends. He took a bite of his food to calm his nerves.

"I can fucking relate to Wally! My dad and nephew are fucking laughing at me!" Peter said as he was trying not to scream.

Peter had a sister named Wanda who died in a terrible car accident seven years ago, hence how he had a nephew.

"To tell the truth, I find all of this amusing. May I have a picture of you?" I asked with a giggle.

I heard Jamie Parker and Charles Jay Parkinson laughing at Peter's orange hair.

(No joke, Wanda Parker married Keith Parkinson.)

"Hey Uncle Ronald McDonald! May I have a number one with just the meat?!" Charles Jay Parkinson asked in the background as he burst out laughing. I never heard his voice before, but I guessed it was him because two years ago, Jamie mentioned that his nephew would order just the meat off of a Big Mac.

"Wow you cunt! Kill the fucking bird! I've got like four people on me!" Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig screamed. A few seconds later, he said. "There we go. Now we're rocking and rolling."

Peter sighed. "All right. You can have a picture. Why not? Everyone's going to be taking my picture at the emergency meeting we have tomorrow!" He sighed loudly before he growled. "You've gotta be kidding me, Jay." Peter called Charles Jay Parkinson solely by his middle name. (Charles Jay Parkinson was four years younger than I was.)

Kissy laid next to Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig as he ate.

I petted Kissy softly as I Iaughed at Peter. "Thank you, Peter. I look forward to your picture, lol," I said over the phone.

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig finished his breakfast.

"Are you happy, Bae!?" I asked.

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig made a walrus noise of happiness and continued to play his video game.

"Yeah, yeah. I hate my life. My dad and nephew want me to take them to McDonalds to get something to eat," Peter said with a flat tone. "I need several drinks."

"At McDonalds!!!! We love to see you smile!!!!!" I sang loudly to Peter.

"Shut the fuck up!" Peter said loudly.

"I'm lovin' it!!" I sang to Peter.

Peter hung up in my face.

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig laughed at his game. Kissy fell on the side of the bed.

"These dumbass players are arguing with each other," Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig said as he went to play with Kissy.

Kissy meowed like a wind-up toy as Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig played with her. She sounded like a musical instrument.

"Hey, bae. You, me, and Kissy should be in a band," he said.

"Ooh hoo yes! What shall be the name of the band?" I asked.

"Hmmm... How about the Bear Avengers?" he asked.

Kissy meowed like a wind-up toy again to show her approval.

"Good idea!!! Maybe we can perform at tomorrow's secret society of goats meeting!" I said.

"It will be glorious!" Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig said.

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig, Kissy, and I made our animal noises to celebrate.

A few minutes after Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig and I started rehearsing our troll songs, Peter sent me a picture of himself. I showed it to Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig. We both laughed. Peter looked like a green-eyed version of Ronald McDonald.

"Hahahaha. Woooooow! That dude looks fucked up," Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig said with a loud belly-laughing. "I'm actually crying."

___________________________________________

Sunday, July 21, 2019 - Let's Do The Time Warp Again. First, we jump to the right. And then we step to the leeeeeeefffffttttttt. (going forward in time by 12 hours)

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig, Kissy, and I showed up at the secret society of goats meeting in our rockstar gear. Lindsay and Prince Carrington were there already looking like normal people. They noticed that Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig and I were ready to rock.

"Wow. You guys are here early," Lindsay said.

"Yes. Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig is the main attraction," I said.

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig made a walrus noise of honor. Kissy meowed.

"I hear we are inducting a new member," Prince Carrington said.

"Yes. Actually, three. Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig is an automatic member due to his and my marriage. Kissy is my cat, so she, too, is an automatic member," I said.

"Who is the other member?" Prince Carrington asked.

"Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater's mechanic," I said.

"How did that happen?" Prince Carrington asked.

"He's an excellent mechanic by the standards of the Asgardian Gods," I said.

Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater texted me, "Prepare the meeting now. I'm running late. I'm beating the microwave to the beat of "I'mma Be (500 Miles)" by The Proclaimers. I'm also singing."

I texted back, "Okay. I shall prepare the meeting. Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig, Kissy, and I, too, have a musical number in store. Please join."

I turned my attention to the members who were there. "Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater is running late. We must prepare," I announced.

The other members pulled out their goat mats and started to bleat and call upon the goats.

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig set up the instruments for us to play once everyone would show up.

Speaking of showing up, there was another band of people showing up. Peter in his orange-haired glory walked all big and bad in the meeting hall first while wearing a black leather coat, black jeans with chains hanging off of them, and black leather boots.

Ronald McDonald was the next person to show up in his clown suit and clown shoes. He was a high-ranking member of another chapter of the secret society of goats. He bleated before saying, "Hey kids!" The other members bleated in response.

Pennywise the Dancing Clown was the last clown to enter the meeting hall. He was one of the highest-ranking members of the secret society of goats. He showed up at all the meeting halls when he so chose. He bleated, laughed, and said, "McDonald's meat is actually meat from humans." The other members bleated and had mixed reactions.

Ronald McDonald laughed and sang, "At McDonald's. We love to see you smile!"

Pennywise the Dancing Clown responded, "They all float. And you float, too."

Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater's mechanic, whose title was Bruce of Ace the Brake-fixing, entered the hall. He was wearing a black leather jacket, dark green shirt, jeans, and black boots. He was the remaining inductee.

We all bleated a warm welcome. Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing sat down on the mat next to Lindsay and Prince Carrington. Lindsay smiled and gave him her regards.

Mr. Thor the Appliance Beater opened the halls dramatically and held his Thor hammer high before he entered. He had a Viking helmet, cut-off jean shorts, and red boots that went halfway up his calves. Murphee followed him in and closed the door.

"Welcome!" everyone said before they bleated a loud warm welcome. One of the members sounded like he was hurling chunks, but I assumed he was just fucked-up at the moment.

[melancholy-queen]

REIGN SPOILERS AHEAD

i’m putting all of my thoughts about the series reign on this, i probably forgot a lot of shit, but thats okay. also I’m sorry if this is very long, i have lots of opinions. scroll past!

so im on season 3 episode 7 and here are my thoughts as of this moment:

- francis is everything but also he was so controlling of mary jfc

- nostradamus is really hot

- im sad for mary that francis is dead

- frary is endgame

- but i was totally down for bash and mary to get married

- conde was so hot. i miss him already

- i was not down for the whole cheating plot line with mary

- antoine needs to chill and stop being so vengeful

- kenna is a piece of shit, i mean stop self sabotaging yourself please for the love of god

- so apparently, kenna was masterbating on the staircase in the pilot? i thought she ran out of breath from walking up all those goddamn stairs (chill, this is a joke, but i still think it's funny that she couldn't wait to get to her room)

- henry was fucking gross from the minute he walked on screen

- did everyone forget about aylee?

- poor lola, she couldve been so much more

- on the topic of lola, where tf did john philippe go? like he hasn't been in the past few episodes

- bash is so great

- bash does no wrong, i love him

- i liked diane and i miss her

- leith is honestly the most tragic character in this whole show, i love him

- megan follows does such an amazing job, like she is such a good actress

- why tf couldn't greer marry leith? i guess im just not understanding

- they totally brushed off the whole incest thing between claude and bash, gross

- but also good for greer, she's a great madam

- i don't give any shits about lord narcissi

- i loveeee claude and leith, get married pls

- i really wanted mary and francis to have a child and i almost cried at the miscarriage

- charles is a dick, but also fuck me

- catherine de medici is the best thing to have graced this show, i mean fuck me up bitch ahhh

- poor mary! its so sad that she was raped. to me, the show handled the repercussions fairly well

- i liked the whole catherine going crazy plot line, i thought the writers did a good job with her emotions towards her children

- the end did not pay off though, like how did she get better?

- also, the crazy henry plot line was ass, but i liked it almost?

- i thought the francis killing henry was done very well, subtle, but not out of the blue. plus, you could go back and look at the clues in previous episodes to aid to the murder

and now these are my thoughts past season 3, episode 7 all the way to the end:

- yes i want some bdsm in this bitch fuck it up queen

- catherine and mary are so kinky hahahaahahha

- mary's pussy literally killed don carlos (jk)

- this is the best plot line on this show so far lmao

- i like it better when mary and catherine get along

- god i love princess claude

- i hate narcisse

- fuck narcisse

- even though claude's fucking stupid for writing that her mother poisoned her in her diary and not hiding the diary well, i still love her

- narcisse's secretary is hot in a lowkey kind of way

- also, his death scene was very unrealistic

- thank god lola is leaving, fuck narcisse

- i don't like elizabeth, but i guess im not supposed to

- why does claude have to fuck up leith like that? he's already traumatized by greer

- greer is honestly the secret mvp, what a good woman

- i am more invested in claude and leith's story then anything else in this entire show

- i feel so bad for dudley's wife, she didn't ask for this

- catherine is a sex queen and i stan her

- stubble leith is so hot

- adelaide kane is so fucking pretty goddamn

- honestly, fuck the prince of spain

- charles looks like mary and francis' child grown up tbh

- i have no investment in any of the england storyline

- why do none of the ladies in waiting get a normal marriage and life jeez louise

- CLAUDE DESERVES BETTER

- LEITH DESERVES BETTER

- FUCK THE DUKE WHO MARRIED CLAUDE

- CLAUDE IS A QUEEN WTF I LOVE HER SO MUCH I WANT TO MARRY HER OML

- narcisse can suck my dick

- im all for in charge charles

- i don't like gideon

- i have no investment in the elizabeth/dudley shep, but i still find it really sad

- god i hope that gideon doesn't stab mary in the back

- christophe is really creepy

- my inStiNctS weRe cOrRecT jEsuS ChrISt, christophe is insane

- gideon is also insane

- bash is perfect

- bash needs better sleuthing skills

- i fully support the lola and elizabeth friendship

- mary and gideon have no chemistry haha

- DEAR GOD I LOVE LEITH AND CLAUDE

- greer is so strong, i love her

- I’m so for greer and leith’s friendship

- jc not the bash love storyline again

- i totally forgot mary killed narcisse’s son

- wait at what point did mary meet her ladies??

- literally the only part in this show so far to make cry is when mary went back to defend catherine tbh

- idk why i feel sympathy for catherine

- if bash dies i will stop watching

- thank god

- elizabeth is honestly a better friend to lola than mary was

- charles is so dumb

- god why can’t he learn anything, obviously his friend was a traitor

- charles’ traitor friend is bobo nick jonas

- dark mary is my everything

- claude is her mother’s carbon copy

- the valois children have other siblings? where are they and why haven’t we heard of them?????

- munro is so hot

- bash is actually fucking insane

- why is charles so trustworthy?

- when did james become hot?

- mary is so great when she’s not needy and crying for a romance

- how does everyone just kill people so easily??? i can’t even get my blood drawn without wanting to throw up

- lola is HEARTLESS

- IM SO DOWN FOR A CLAUDE/LEITH WEDDING

- also troye sivan? i love it

- charles totally sucks

- wait what happened with the pagans in the blood woods?

- i cannot stand gideon and mary together

- i’m so sad for lola, she was such a good character

- dear god, this was the only death that i’m actually sad for (and this includes francis)

- i want more for john philippe

- NO I TAKE THAT BACK POOR LEITH

- knox is such a creep

- marys brother needs to stop

- i’m so down with seer bash you guys don’t even understand

- mary is wild omg i love this turn around

- when did james get so hot

- lola and francis’ child is so fucking cute omg

- charles’ mental breakdown is crazy

- ewwww gideon and mary are gross af

- I’m all for darnley

- poor claude honestly, but she is a saint

- if he hurts her, ill beat him up

- damn charles is a vampire

- leith deserved so much better

- i love him

- dude i don’t even give a shit about the other relationships in this show, leith and claude are the greatest

- poor leith, I’m so sad

- agatha’s death is so fucking depressing

- i love mary when she actually has a backbone

- yes motherfucker, murder darnley

- i have no sympathy for darnley’s true love dying, he’s so rude and deceiving

- i love the friendship between catherine and mary ahh

- i don’t know how i feel about greer and james

- where did lady kenna go?

- i like the juxtaposition between mary and francis’ wedding and mary and darnley’s wedding with the flowers and attendees and just overall feeling and how adelaide kane acted in it. you could tell that she truly loved francis but doesn’t love darnley and feels scared with him

- also the fact that mary doesn’t match with darnley’s outfits is an interesting choice

- the timeline on this show is very strange

- claude’s character development is beautiful

- the horny witch is my fav

- umm what she’s pregnant?

- nicole can suck my fucking ass fuck her stupid ass

- i wish the end wasn’t so abrupt tbh

- the last five minutes was so good, i teared up

- ugh now i feel empty inside and want to watch it again!!

ugh this show is so good, like insanely good. i feel like most of the time the characterization was wonderful. claude was my favorite, so its no surprise i like claude and leith the best. i didn’t like francis most of the time while he was alive but i missed his presence on the show. bash was an absolute gem. adelaide kane is so hot oml i died multiple times. i really enjoyed watching it!!!

rate: 9/10 archduchesses falling out of a window during sex (still my favorite part of the show)

favorite character: claude! queen catherine!! runner ups: bash, greer, leith, sometimes mary, elizabeth at the endish

favorite season: season 1!! can’t beat the drama!