#this piece fought me a lot. I think I'm happy with it though

[vulcanautus]

sleep well

[mikaela-the-slut-expert]

rrriiight i was thinking of a hualian x reader thing. the reader is a bit cold and apathetic but caring of two certain people and had been all the way through with hualian like for example, had served xie lian when he was still a prince or helped hong er from time to time. but somehow they just vanished and never came back.

surprise surprise, whilst hualian and some other gods were on a mission, they got attacked let’s say (or were in danger) and guess who came to save them? reader! and thats when it clicks for hualian. that was you. you weren’t gone. so- they never let you get away ever again.

just an idea that came to mind :D

In the Back of Your Mind

Hua Cheng x gn!reader x Xie Lian

I'm so sorry it took so long! I try to put my life updates in my bio, but I've been very busy moving houses! So I'm rlly sorry and I hope this is good!

I didn't know if you wanted reader to be a ghost or a god but I made them a ghost

Because gods don't usually disappear for like ever? Idk uhm if you don't like that just tell me and I'll edit it!

Made up a scenario that puts Xie Lian and Hua Cheng at a disadvantage

Ignore grammar mistakes

Slight OOC!!!

Made up details about reader and their life

____________________________________

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are very happy with their relationship and their life

But something's missing

Someone's missing

They haven't seen you in a very, very long time

It's been centuries actually and you still haven't shown up

But they haven't forgotten you, even though you've been missing or maybe even dead they still think about you in the back of their head.

Xie Lian misses you dearly

You had served Xie Lian during XianLe and had always been by his side.

You took your job seriously and it was your first priority to keep Xie Lian happy

You served him well and fought for him too

Your loyalty to Xie Lian was deep and everyone could see it

Everyone knew you loved him besides Xie Lian of course.

Because it was obvious! You wouldn't utter a word to anyone else

Your presence was a cold force to anyone besides Xie Lian

You were always quick to create space with anyone who came near him too.

It seemed like you couldn't care less for anyone else's problems but Xie Lian's.

Not that it mattered to you, as long as you could stay by his side it didn't matter what you were

Whether you were his servant or guard, whether you were next to him or below him, whether he used you as a step or tool.

You never minded, you'd do anything for him even if he wouldn't do those things.

You stayed by his side when Mu Qing and Feng Xin disappeare

You stayed when his palace fell

When his parents died

When Xie Lian started on a bad path

When he turned meaner, rougher, and angrier so that he wouldn't be hurt by the world again

When he grieved because he had been done wrong

You stayed with Xie Lian for as long as you could, and you loved him deeply every second of it.

But then someone took you from Xie Lian.

You never came back

Hua Cheng misses you just as dearly.

You took care of Xie Lian so well and then you just disappeared

When Hong er as caught by Xie Lian obviously he couldn't take care of Hong er by himself

But when Xie Lian was busy, everyone else was too disgusted to touch him

And Hong er didn't want to be in anyone else's arms either

You were different though, even though you were a servant like Mu Qing and Feng Xin you reacted differently

You held Hong er gently, as if the mongrel child would fall to pieces in your arms

You wouldn't let anyone touch him or try to kick him out of the palace

Always quick, you would settle a cold glare on someone if they tried to pull Hong er from your arms

Taking care of Hong er was just as serious as taking care of Xie Lian to you

You spent a lot of time with His Cheng like that

So after Hua Cheng's first death he searched and searched and searched

He never found the two of you

When Hua Cheng had finally found Xie Lian he was so excited to finally see you both again!

Even though he doesn't want to reveal his secret just yet, he hopes the two of you won't find him disgusting for his actions

But. . . You weren't there.

Don't get him wrong Hua Cheng is very happy to see one of the loves of his life after searching so long but you have never left Xie Lian's side so where are you?

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng continued their relationship and their story without you

Which was unfortunate but what could they do?

They had both tried to search for you and found you no where

Things are always changing though

🦊🪷

It was just another mission, and it should've been quick and easy. Especially since Xie Lian and Hua Cheng tagged along. Hua Cheng was only here for Xie Lian though, no one else. The mission didn't go smoothly though.

Missions rarely go smoothly when you're in the dark woods, with lots of monsters, and a heavy fog covers the forest. Not smooth at all when lower gods are bickering with Hua Cheng and Xie Lian.

They all got lost and wherever they ended up in these dark woods, had a block on the arrays. Xie Lian can't call for help or reach the heavens and neither can the other gods. What's worse! Powers are blocked too! It's like they've all stumbled upon an area of complete silence as if they were muted.

So even Hua Cheng is struggling a little bit right? Can't break the blocking energy source if you can't find it! Of course the gods all split up, leaving Xie Lian and Hua Cheng alone. It doesn't matter to Hua Cheng if his powers have been weakened or not he'll still do everything he can to protect Xie Lian from the monsters in the woods.

The more time Xie Lian and Hua Cheng stand around in the fog the more things they see. The deeper they go, the thicker the fog gets. And the thick the fog gets the more people they start to see the more things they start to see. It's not a good thing though, it's all illusions and they figured that out quickly when Hua Cheng swipes at a humanoid figure that looks just like Xie Lian.

Xie Lian doesn't have the time to solve the problem because him and Hua Cheng have a big possibility of being hurt right now. E-ming and rouye refuse to move. Hua Cheng will happily use his body and hands to defend Xie Lian if he has to though. Xie Lian says that's silly and chooses to run, dragging Hua Cheng along with him. The foggy ghosts only chase, and it's hard to run in such thick fog.

In fact the fog is so thick that eventually after running so long the ghosts give up on running after them. Xie Lian thought they were safe now but when he looks back Hua Cheng is gone.

Xie Lian shouts for him and tries to look around but the more he looks around the fog the more humanoid figures he sees. they're just. . . Fog. If Xie Lian could see Hua Cheng right now and he still wouldn't know if it was the real one.

The fog is dangerous, creating illusions of people Xie Lian already knows or things from his past, trying to trick him. He's only more lost and he doesn't know how to get out of this mess. It's actually very stressful, how does the fog know all these things, how is it forming the people he used to know and love?

Hua Cheng is in the same predicament. He wanders around the fog and at one point he thought he found Xie Lian again but when his hand wrapped around Xie Lian's arm, the figure turned in vapor. They're both lost. They're both being surrounded by crowds of foggy figures.

Just before the foggy figures are able to touch them the fog disperses though. A loud screech Is heard in the air, a sudden cold breeze blowing past Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, then the fog settles down. It turns out they weren't that far from each other at all and Xie Lian has never run into Hua Cheng's arms faster.

When they both see a foggy figure again they get nervous. One, because the fog has dispersed so they thought they were safe now. Two, it looks like you. Xie Lian already hates the fog he's already seen awful things but he doesn't want to see you like this. Not the fake you.

He can't help but tear up when 'you' try to urge him to come forward, but with the fog gone so is the blocked energy. Xie Lian shoots rouye out, trying to make the awful sight go away by rouye wraps around a surprisingly very sturdy wrist. You grip on rouye and pull Xie Lian forward a little, uttering a small "Dianxia, Hong er"

They know it's you, even though it seems so unbelievable. Xie Lian is literally jumping on you and knocking you to the ground. Hua Cheng manages to act a little more suave but he'd be a liar to say he isn't astonished. It's just a big pile of tears, embraces, and "I love you's".

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng waste no time bringing you home, they cling on to you desperately. Even if you just want to explore Paradise Manor it doesn't matter, both of them are at your side. They absolutely refuse to let you go. As if they're scared, if they look away you'll vanish again. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng just won't let that happen! They love you very much and they've missed out many years of loving and caring for you. They plan to repay all the missed affections

____________________________________

Uhhhh here it is! I hope it's good 🤔 honestly I feel a little eh about this but let me know what y'all think 🖤I don't know if this is exactly what you were imagining anon but if it wasn't this make another submission in like deeper, exact details and I'll try again okay!

[hanmaitani]

Not Forgiveness

PAIRING - Okkotsu Yuuta x Reader WC - 2K GENRE - light angst >> fluff CW - mentions of believing yuuta was dead, brief mention of scars, can be seen as spoilers if you know the latest, but if you don't then it gives nothing away...

You had been mindlessly shopping around the market when it happened. Honestly, you didn't think you'd been zoning out as much as you were.

It had been happening a lot more recently, the mentally checking out. Going through the motions. It just so happened that this time, you were snapped out of it by smacking straight into a hard back.

You had already opened your mouth to apologize, not even fully looking up from your feet, when you heard it.

"Y/n?"

It felt like the blood in your veins turned to ice. The slush in your veins slowing everything down, freezing you in place, threatening to break your body into pieces if you moved even an inch.

You dared yourself to anyways. Holding your breath, you dragged your eyes up to see who it was. Though you didn't have to to know. You already knew.

His voice was the same. A melody in your ears. The perfect tone to drown out every other sound and thought in your head. Every urge in you wanted you to immediately fall into his arms after hearing it. You fought them.

"Yuuta." His name felt foreign on your tongue. It was a word you'd forbidden yourself from speaking in the months it had been since you'd last seen him. Since he'd done the unthinkable.

"It's uh," his voice faltered for only a second as he took you in, the same as you had been the last time he'd seen you, yet so different, "it's nice to see you."

The ice in your blood finally reached your heart. "Wish I could say the same." You turned on your heel quickly, taking off in the other direction, abandoning any and all original plans in exchange for an escape from this situation. "Bye."

Yuuta was quick to jump in front of you, long limbs carrying him easily and too fast for you to dodge. "Please, I need to talk to you." He blocked your path and you ground your teeth, letting the ice in your heart sharpen your fangs as you glared at him.

"Yeah?" You scoffed. "Bite me." You snarled at him, using his shock at your attitude towards him as a distraction for you to dip around him and continue your planned escape.

He stopped you with a hand on your arm. You took a deep breath to stop yourself from lashing out, glaring at the assaulting grip.

"I'm sorry. Y/n, I'm sorry." His voice pleaded with you, a tone you hadn't heard from him in forever. It was almost enough to thaw your heart. Almost.

You barked out a laugh and shook your head in response. "Yeah? Sorry?" It was ridiculous. Like a sorry could fix what he'd done to you. You quickly snapped your head away when he tried to find his way in front of you again, keeping him out of your line of sight. "You left without saying anything. You did that without telling me first. Disappeared without a word! 'Sorry' doesn't quite cut it."

There was a beat of silence as he took in your anger. He was always good at that. Taking in your emotions, holding them. Never making you think you overreacted to something. It made you want to scream now.

He finally cleared his throat awkwardly. "I tried."

Two words. Your eyes snapped over to him and you were reminded of why you had been trying not to look. His cheeks were flushed in embarrassment. He was never good at hiding his nervousness. His fingers itched at the back of his neck softly, tugging on the collar of his jacket.

"I came to say goodbye." He sighed then, looking back up to finally make eye contact. You were sure you could hear something inside of you breaking all over again. "I came. But you looked so happy. Even if it was just in that one moment, you looked so fucking happy. I couldn't bring myself to. To see your heart break when I told you. That was me being selfish."

You knew that what he'd done wasn't for selfish reasons, deep down you knew. It didn't make it hurt less, nor was it going to make it to the surface quite yet.

"You came?" You huffed, the ice leaning into annoyance. "You thought I was happy?" Sarcasm seeping into your words, each delivering like a knife into his skin. You avoided his eyes once again.

His sigh was shaky, sounding like a semblance of the shy boy you'd fallen in love with. The boy who had left you, alone, without a word. Who had taken it on his shoulders to save the world and not tell you about it.

"You were smiling, happy, laughing with everyone." The solid ice in your veins moved, cracked pieces turning the ice back into slush. Anger and stubbornness giving way to resurfacing hurt, a recollection of the events of that night. "I didn't want to ruin your evening. To be the cause of it."

You gave a dry laugh, turning to face him properly for the first time. "I was happy because you were supposed to be coming."

You had been having a good night that night, despite everything. Dressed up in your nicest clothes, brought dessert to the gathering. Chatting with your mutual friends as the time crept closer to when Yuuta had meant to show up.

"I spent all night waiting!" You heard your own voice shake as you remembered what it was like.

How you'd tried to convince yourself, and the others, that he was simply running late. How your heart fell when you'd noticed people starting to leave and he still wasn't there. How you heart felt when you'd realized what he'd done. When all your calls went to voicemail.

"And then I spent days waiting for a call! Thinking you were dead!"

You'd left voicemails until his box was full. Locked yourself away, staring at your phone, just in case it might ring with his name when you were away. It didn't. Your hurt simmered, condensing into tears along your waterline.

"You couldn't even call me." You sighed, turning your head away from him again. If you were going to cry, you wouldn't give him the satisfaction, the privilege of seeing it.

"I can't tell you how many times I wanted to." The slush thawed more and you could physically feel your muscles stretch to life, tensing and untensing under his gaze.

"You didn't." You whispered it like an accusation. All your upset poured out, turning to sadness, remembering the way you wallowed, the bargaining with yourself about why he wouldn't call. The answer you never got.

"Why didn't you call?" You regretted the questions immediately as it left your lips. You feared the answer. He answered before you could recant, like he was prepared.

"I couldn't believe what I'd done." A confession. You saw this throat bob from the corner of your eyes, shame washing his features.

Silence echoed between you two, even with the market bustling around you, people passing around the two of you like a rock in their stream, oblivious to what was happening.

"Darling," he muttered it, a name you hadn't been called in months. It melted you, the ice leaving as his hands gently cupped your face, drawing your eyes back to his, "your heart is too pure for me. It always has been."

He let out a shaky breath and shook his head softly as he looked at you, thumbs catching stray tears. He didn't wipe them, you didn't want him to and somehow he knew that. He always knew.

"I don't deserve it for a second. I never deserved you, I knew that back then and I know it now."

You scoffed lightly at him, but your hands gripped his wrists to keep them in place, to keep him touching you. He was here, alive, in front of you again. "Don't I get to decide who deserves me Yuuta?"

His eyes, trained on how your tears pooled around his thumbs, snapped back up to yours in shock. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he opened his mouth to speak. You cut him off.

"I love you."

You watched as he floundered for a response. Mouth opening and closing as he shifted through a million feelings. He couldn't figure out why you would. A blush creeped onto his cheeks. Why him and why still.

"That's what I was going to tell you that night." He was the one frozen then, tears gathering in his eyes now as he processed what you were saying. "I was going to finally say it." You heaved a big breath, blowing out all the weight from the sentiment. "I was going to tell you that life was too short to not say it. And then I thought you were dead."

"You love me?" He whispered it as a question, disbelief lacing his words as his eyes searched yours for any deception. Like always, he found none in you. You always told him the truth. "You love me."

You rolled your eyes and took your hands off his. "Say it again, why don't you?" You tried to turn your head away, using feigned indifference to fight with the disappointment of not hearing it back. Ashamed that you had said it.

"You love me." He laughed then, a smile breaking across his lips as he looked at you. "And I love," he laughed and pressed a kiss to your cheek, your eyes widened at the feeling, heat spreading out from the spot like wildfire, "I love," you gasped as he kissed your other cheek, wildfire sparking there too, "I love you." It was a whisper as his forehead fell against yours.

Your eyes fell closed, more tears spilled from them, some clinging to your lashes. Your heart felt on fire despite the confusing rush of emotions swirling through you, hurt and love seeming to blend together, pushing and pulling like a natural rhythm. "This is not forgiveness, Yuuta."

"I know." He responded, and although you could feel him tense under your touch, he didn't back away. "But you love me, and I love you."

You brushed your hands along his arms, fingers pressing into the tension, trying to wash it away. "It is a second chance though."

"It won't happen again." He paused, considering his words. "Not without telling you first." A promise, you could hear the sincerity bleeding into his words. "You're my world," he whispered, pressing a kiss to your nose, "my angel." He pulled back to look into your eyes again. "You're my everything."

You laughed a little bit, shaking your head at the way he paid attention to you. The familiar feeling of being known by him flooding you for the first time in months.

"I kind of like how obsessed with me you are sometimes." You teased, tilting your head slightly to press a kiss to the inside of his wrist. You still couldn't bring yourself to look directly at the new scars on his face, but that would come later, eventually.

"Yeah?" He chuckled a little as he tone softened, eyes scanning over your face, refusing to let go, still trying to convince himself that you were there, that you were really giving him another chance. "I am very obsessed."

"It makes me feel like the most important person in the whole world." You were blinking up at him in wonder. Trying to figure out if this was truly real. If he really was there in your arms again, confessing that he'd messed up by leaving you without a word. By not contacting you as you worried.

You knew it was real. The new scars on his face were ones you hadn't yet traced with your fingers in the dark of the night, in both of your most vulnerable times. Ones you still couldn't directly look at, reminders of what he'd done. That would come later, you promised yourself, eventually.

"That's because you are the most important person in my world."

a/n brb sobbin in the club rn

TAGLIST -

@tsukiran @awkwardaardvarkforever @mightyknight501 @megumuro @seiri-ously

@qichun

[vegaseatsass]

The Sol-tuation is a lot more nuanced than that!!

Who knew I, an absolutely feral Mingjoe shipper, would end up making so many posts about the secondary love interest who never stood a chance with our protagonist, but I truly think they're doing some fascinating things with this character and it hurts a little to see so so so many fandom reactions that take what's happening on the surface as the full story with no interest in peeling back those appearances.

I will say before I start: huge credit to @zhouxiangs for so many of these opinions, she shared a few insights about Sol with me today that completely reshaped my interpretation of the character, so thank you x 2389234, this post is not exclusively My thoughts. (Also SolYim as a ship is galaxy brain and the only thing I now want for Sol's future. Thank you for that TOO)

So I very much understand why what it appears Sol is doing - ignoring Joe's clear lack of interest in him to pursue him, taking every opportunity to touch him, and working overtime to prevent Joe from seeing the truth about Ming and his obvious devotion, so he can still "win" Joe instead - is rubbing a lot of people the wrong way. Straight up, situations where people I'm not romantically interested in have pursued me despite my clear and direct (and often hard-fought because I used to be a huge people pleaser) "no" are something I hope to avoid for the rest of my natural life. Relentless pursuit can be a sexy fantasy if you want someone back, as Joe does Ming, but for most of us, it's emotionally pressuring nightmare fuel if you don't.

But I would argue that's really not what's happening. An extremely essential missing piece of context to Sol's behavior is that Joe died because of his relationship with Ming, and Sol spent years grieving him. In episode 9 in particular, they're all face-to-face with the cold hard truth of that grief, and I don't think Sol is any exception, even if he knows Joe is back now. In episode 8, Sol confirmed Joe was back, and he was so euphorically happy, but he was not pushing and shoving Joe to hop into a relationship with him, was he? He was just delighted Joe was alive. But this episode, he's suddenly faced with the very real prospect that Ming and Joe still have feelings for each other. That Joe may return to the man who got him killed. Who Sol, in his own eyes, failed to protect Joe from in his first life, even though Sol so badly wanted to pay back Joe's sincerity to him. And I think the threat of losing Joe again is making Sol (who ran back to Korea instead of processing his grief and guilt over his death) a little insane.

I mean, let's talk about Sol in Joe's first life. After Joe told him he couldn't return his feelings, did we see any inkling of this frantic episode 9 pushiness? Sure, there was the moment where he tried to convince Joe that he and Ming were incompatible, after watching Ming need to hide Joe from his family in what I'm sure read as shame to Sol. I can give Sol some grace for this knowing he struggled with coming to terms with his own sexuality (see: the first time he ran away to Korea), and is now trying to overcompensate for who he was in the past, but you don't have to give him this grace if you don't want to. I can admit his desire to support Joe as a friend is compromised by the tumultuousness of his longing for Joe. Like there's also the fight with Ming on the staircase where Joe gets knocked down and Sol and Ming just keep fighting. Sol is not a saintly unselfish being who keeps his feelings and his desire to protect and support Joe perfectly separate, by any means. (To me this is part of why he's interesting and human, but I get that we all have different character preferences.)

But dinner with Ming's family aside, when first life Joe tells Sol he doesn't want to be with him, Sol lets it go and is happy living in the friend zone. When Joe tells him not to come over and intervene when he's trying to break up with Ming, Sol listens. Sol believes that Joe can handle himself and he respects the boundaries that Joe sets, regardless of what he wants or hopes in the privacy of his own heart.

And what happens without Sol's intervention? Without anyone's intervention? Joe dies. Joe is chained up in a basement - Joe was not safe with Ming, Joe was not able to clear the situation up using just his words - and blacklisted from the industry, driven to desperate financial straits and killed.

So my read of Sol is that he's scrambling to make himself a shield. He thought he was already in a role where he could support Joe, this time around, but this episode raised the threat of Joe going back to Ming and dying again, and now he's frantically trying to change himself into something that can actually keep Joe from doing that. If Joe suddenly decided he wanted to be with Sol and not Ming, would Sol be happy on his own behalf? Of course, I'm not denying that. But I really think so much of the desperation to offer himself as a romantic choice is to try to show Joe he has options that aren't Ming, to try to intervene in ways he didn't in Joe's first life, at any cost.

You can't force someone not to return to an abusive partner, the same way you can't force someone not to commit suicide, or make any other choice where they could get hurt or disappear from your life forever. It's a necessary journey for everyone, to realize you have to respect your loved ones' agency even when they're making choices that terrify you to your core. Sol has not learned that yet, and I'm not defending how pushy and out of pocket he was being this episode. But I'm really, really sympathetic to the absolutely frantic terror that I think was underlying it. If you've never had a suicidal loved one or a loved one trapped in a destructive cycle, it's easy enough to expect Sol to do the right things (the actually HELPFUL and supportive things), instead of the toxic, selfish things. For me he's a far richer and more human character for making the wrong choices, though. For being selfish, but not about wanting to possess Joe and force his feelings Sol's way. About wanting to keep Joe alive and unharmed by force, instead of trusting Joe to make his own choices. Again: you have to let people decide these things for themselves. You have to! If you don't support your loved ones' agency, any other support you think you're offering them is useless and suffocating and will genuinely compound whatever they're dealing with, make it much harder for them to heal, leave, etc - whatever the "healthy" choice is, they can't make it with you forcing them into it. They can't make it without you surrendering to the possibility of them making the "unhealthy" choice; without you accepting that it is their choice. But for a fictional character to go from "genuinely supportive friend" to "publicly announcing you're in a branded relationship a day after your own funeral" because he sees you slipping from his grasp - not emotionally, but potentially literally, metaphysically, permanently, AGAIN - well, to me, that's juicy and compelling.

I'm also more sympathetic to Sol than to Wut when it comes to telling Joe that Ming loves him, frankly. I think Joe needs an impartial friend (Yim!!!) that he can process all his Ming issues with openly, because it is never helpful to feel like because your friends know that your abuser/ex/etc harmed you, you can never go to them to process the moments of kindness and love. Joe needs to be able to look at the full picture of who Ming is and what Ming feels and decide for himself, he doesn't need Sol strongarming him out of accepting that Ming is capable of both great cruelty and great love. But Wut always takes the path of least resistance and it absolutely maddens me. To just say, with no qualification, "The man I and only I know knocked you out and kept you locked in a basement loves you, actually" is absolutely insane and irresponsible. I do not for a second believe Wut was ready to express nuance, to say, like, "I think Ming loves you in his own way, but that love is dangerous and possessive and I hope you stay away." If we see anything in the text that demonstrates otherwise I'm happy to be wrong about this, and then I would be in the "Let Wut speak!" camp. But for now, I do think he was going to play the role of an enabler, just because he finds it easier to let Ming handle Joe's estate and be in Joe's life than to fight it. Lol it still doesn't make Sol right to try to keep Joe from seeing the full picture, but I'm sympathetic to him going wtf, Wut? Do you really think Ming loves him? knowing what Wut knows.

Anyway this is sooooo long so I will try to wrap it up, but I wanted to also talk about Sol and Joe and physical touch. Like I said at the beginning, I totally understand seeing how often Sol hugs Joe or grabs him and feeling uncomfortable imagining yourself in Joe's shoes. But as uncomfortable as EYE would be with Sol's affections, I want to try to analyze how Joe the character feels about all this. Now one of the things I most love about this series is the opaqueness of all the characters' choices, how there is always ambiguity and room for more than one interpretation. So if you watch the scenes where Sol puts his hands on Joe and think Joe looks trapped or unhappy, that is your prerogative! I noticed that the two times he shook Sol's touch off in the episode were when he thought Sol was going to stop him from breaking into his loft, and when he thought Sol was going to cause a scandal with Ming at the press party. Otherwise, from where I sit (my interpretation only!), Joe does not appear to experience Sol's touch as something unwanted or unsafe. I would actually make the argument that having someone he's known for years sharing a bed with him, hugging him, holding his hand, etc, could be offering Joe essential tactile comfort he's not getting from anyone else while he's in the midst of grieving his past life. For all we know, the level of physical intimacy between them is something that completely predates Sol acknowledging his feelings. This could be a normal level of touchiness between them, and not an example of Sol "taking liberties" or trying to force his way into Joe's heart.

To me the upshot of everything is that Joe, to my eyes, seems to feel completely safe with Sol and his professed feelings. When Sol brings his feelings up again when they're getting their makeup done, Joe's response ("how did the conversation turn to this?") pinged me as playful, affectionate, not uncomfortable and pressured. Joe is absolutely terrified of Ming's feelings for him and, significantly, what they would do to Joe's feelings for Ming - he is keeping himself away from Ming by the power of "You don't love me and never did" and when that crumbles so will most of his ability to resist him, I think - but Sol's feelings can't do anything to Joe. They can't make him want things he doesn't want, and they can't make him want things he doesn't want to want. I would argue that Sol is a friend that Joe feels safe around, and his open crush on Joe causes a bit of awkwardness, to be sure, but it doesn't make Joe feel pressured to do anything but be himself. When he's with Sol, he's not afraid of Sol, Sol's feelings, or Joe's feelings. I think that's important to acknowledge! The same way that Sol needs to accept that Joe is allowed to make the choice to go back to Ming and it's never been in Sol's hands, imo fandom needs to accept that if Joe is comfortable with Sol and his affections, we can't argue that he is being pressured by them, or in danger, or anything else.

But that's just my interpretation! I am happy to be disagreed with, haha. I just think Sol is as rich and interesting a character as Ming, but many of us as viewers have more trouble with flawed and selfish kindness (Sol) than we do with complex cruelty (Ming). But I love flawed and selfish kindness. I love characters who are trying so hard to be good and to take care of people they love, and fucking it up and not seeing the ways their wants and fears are getting in the way. So I love Sol. And obviously have a lot to say about him lol.

[foggysroom]

What do you expect from Born Again? I for one am cautiously excited. It's a shame Foggy is going to die, but I don't think he would have much meaning anyway. Don't get me wrong, I like him. But I love Matt, Karen and Frank more. I think it's time for his story to end. I'm sure Foggy's sacrifice will give Karen the anger she needs to pick up her gun in revenge and Matt a reason to let the devil out so I think it will be worth it. Or maybe his death will be poetic and beautiful and temporary. Although I don't think he really fits the tone of the series. Karen has a more dramatic appeal and Frank too. Foggy is only cute and sweet. I hope you don't get upset with my question And my opinion on Foggy

I thought a lot before deciding whether to answer this question since I don't know if it's valid or just another one like the millions of hateful asks about Elden and Foggy that I've received over the years.

And even if the reason for this ask is to hurt me, I believe that all opinions need to be heard, even when I disagree.

I've said this more than once: I don't plan on watching Born Again. Period.

I don't want to re-watch, revisit a scene I've seen thousands of times on the internet. I don't want to see Foggy on the concrete, getting a shot that wasn't aimed at him.

Even if it is a temporary death. Even if he just gets hurt. No, I don't want to watch that.

I don't want to see Matt and Karen (without Foggy) reminiscing about old memories. I don't want to see Matt living life as if Foggy isn't an important person to him. I don't want to watch a show where Foggy, who used to be the heart of the show, appears in one or two episodes.

I know, I know I'll end up watching bits and pieces here and there because people won't get tired of posting edits, scene cuts, photos, gifs etc. And I don't like blocking people just because they have opinions that go against mine. I only block haters, etc.

Believe me, I'm glad Karen has a lot of heart in the show. After all, I fought for years for Elden and Deborah to return alongside Charlie for this show. I'm really happy for her and her fans. And I think it's beautiful that Jon cared so much about her to the point of saying that he would only return to the role if she was also on the show.

I just wish the Born Again writers knew that Foggy is also a crucial character. Not just because he's Matt's friend. Foggy has a rich history and is very capable of having a good plot even without a weapon, even without powers, without sexual appeal. I just wish (and hope) that Born Again doesn't erase all the importance of the original Foggy. In Elden's words: "Even though he's a little clumsy, Foggy is not an idiot." Foggy is smart, good, and intelligent.

I'm sure the directors did the best they could to fit Foggy into a plot that was almost complete. We need to remember that Foggy was going to die off-screen in the first script. And Karen wasn't even mentioned. So, I believe it was easier to fit Karen in there, giving her more scenes.

It's wonderful that Karen is a badass, has a gun, and is her own hero. I love Karen so much! But Foggy, Foggy was always the heart, and nothing survives without a heart.

Good-hearted people are strong in their own way. (this part makes me start crying, hell, I hate being so stupid)

And it's naive to think that a hero show will only be good if it has shooting, blood, sex, and things like that.

I don't know about you, but what made me love the show was the human and fragile part.

It was seeing that the girl wasn't so fragile and weak, that she is flawed and tries her best despite everything. She found a family (two idiots) and fought tooth and nail to protect Foggy and Matt from Fisk.

That Matt, the hero, is fragile, silly, pathetic. Sexy in his sweatpants and socks. That he feels pain, he cries, he feels angry and feels incapable most of the time.

That the silly friend (and useless in most opinion) is brave, strong, the one who goes for sex for consolation. Who has a family like everyone else.

These things, this human part were what made me love the show. Although I've been a Daredevil fan since childhood and admittedly an Elden fan since childhood as well.

These characters were like family to me.

The three of them!

Will I change my mind about Born Again? The second season, perhaps. But again, out of respect for Elden and Foggy, no, I don't intend to watch a scene that I've seen thousands of times and that has sometimes been mocked. And it still hurts me.

In Elden's words: The show is going to be amazing! I'm sure. But not for me.

[spacedace]

Something that I keep thinking about that I've not seen be mentioned in the DP fandom is the fact that Dani/Elle had brothers before Danny.

Angst ahead (I'm in an angsty mood lol)

I don't know if I've just missed it or not, but I just keep thinking about how for a while, it was just Elle and the other clones. That with Vlad being Vlad they probably really only had each other. And Elle being stable while the others weren't implies that she was the youngest of them all.

Did the others look after her? Did they play with her and try and teach her ghost stuff even though they weren't very good at it? Did she curl up with the big Frankenstein Clone to sleep at night, did the Skeleton Clone start wearing the bed sheet originally because he was worried about scaring his little sister? Did the Gooey Clone that could change sized play hide and seek with her to keep her entertained?

There's a level of implication that she didn't know that the other Clones were actually gone gone after they fought Danny when he told her that he wouldn't fight her because when he did fight the clones they destabilized. And I can't help but think it's something that would haunt her, realizing that not only were her brothers were gone, but she helped destroy one of them.

I don't know I just feel like it's a piece of Elle's backstory that isn't brought up, both for family fluffy and angst purposes.

Gimme some fics of Elle and Danny talking about her brothers, their shared grief and regret over everything. Danny trying to help make it up to her or Elle admitting that as much as she loves Danny she still sometimes finds herself looking at him and knowing that he's the one that killed her brothers, even though he didn't mean to.

Give me Elle making graves for her brothers and mourning them with her new family, never forgetting them but slowly learning how to accept their deaths. Or of her going full Tim Drake and trying to clone them to get them back even though she knows it won't be the same (give me a DP x DC crossover with her & Tim feeding off each others grief spirals and helping each other in their unhealthy cloning coping methods or Elle stepping in to stop Tim because she's been there and done that and knows it doesn't do anything but prolong the pain).

Or something happy! Elle goes off and explores the multiverse and discovers worlds were her brothers lived! Or where she was the one that didn't make it in their world but they did and she's able to stabilize them and bring them home! Or an AU where the clones live and run off with Elle to see the world and she comes back to Amity Park sooner because while she's getting weaker her brothers are fully on the verge of destabilizing and she needs Danny's help to save them!

I just have a lot of thoughts on the untapped potential of the other clones and Elle's relationships to them.

[sisusquid]

The Übersaw build breakdown, Part 1: (enjoy!)

Note: I'm more than happy to answer any and all questions about this build. Want me to breakdown a specific step or detail, please ask!

From top reference, to bottom complete, this build was a challenge from start to finish and required me to learn a ton of new skills, and reach out to a variety of people for help/advice/brainstorming! But when I decided I was finally going to make my dream cosplay of Medic, I knew this is the saw I wanted to make along with it.

Every piece was made from scratch, and includes sintra, pla 3d printing, resin printing, acrylic tubes, a straw, bondo, E6000, hex bolts, led ring light, arduino trinket, metal switch, aaa battery pack, misc. wiring, spray paint, acrylic paint, and a whole lot of sanding sanding sanding!

I always wanted to stay as true to the original design as possible, but knew adjustments would have to be made, moving a model from a game to real life. Some details I wanted to keep a true as possible, such as the base shape and size. Some aspects were modified deliberately to fit better with the overall aesthetic of the specific version of Medic I was creating; such as smoothing out the edges of the handle, rather than keeping them sharp like in the game. (Something that would make it more realistic overall, a goal I kept in mind through every piece of the costume.)

One such change was adding liquid to the Übersaw core and an led light that pulses red. Looking at the base design, and the color palette the original creators used, they intrinsically translated in my mind to "liquid" and "light" rather than just a flat color. Thinking about Medic and his designs, I figured an ominous, pulsing red would be perfect for when the Übersaw was fully charged. (Plus it would look really cool, so... that definitely influenced my decisions!)

I mixed up a concoction of distilled water, red and silver mica powder, and filled an acrylic tube with the mixture. There's actually two tubes, the smaller inside one helps reduce water weight on this already hefty prop.

Of course, these changes also meant I needed to learning how to code an arduino trinket (which ended up being a lot of fun!), and create a special holder at the base of the Übersaw to hold the ring light, trinket, switch, battery pack and wiring. Not to mention it had to be accessible so I could change the batteries out when needed. That's when it was time to ask for help from some talented friends!

Here's what the resulting holder ended up looking like! (Not pictured is the ring the light sits on) It was 3d modeled and printed in PLA by my friend with some imput by me, but he knows so much more about this stuff I was happy to let him take the lead! The design includes hex bolts to secure the light holder to the Übersaw like a clamp, but also allows it to be opened in half for easy access to the batteries/any electronics that are having issues.

The base of the whole saw is sintra (pvc board), in many layers. The layers were then blended with Bondo and SO MUCH SANDING. After the piece looked like a cohesive whole, rather than 8 layers of plastic board, it was base coated with spraypaint and detail painted with acrylics. (I say this as though it was a simple task, but the spraypaint fought me every step of the way, had to be constantly re-sanded, and some layers refused to dry at all and had to be varnished to remove the tackiness. It was a trial to be sure!)

But after all was said and done, it was finally time for detail painting: My favorite part of any project! (Continued in part 2)

[wouldyoustilllovemeifiwasacar]

Help me figure out some ep 37 stuff keeping me up at night please

I'm mostly thinking about her ring and the shredded end of the world letter.

Episode starts with her, presumably having stayed up contemplating all night, alarm goes off Utena takes off her ring and drops it carelessly. But why?

I personally don't believe that she blames Anthy for what she saw, I have my reasons that I'm happy to discuss at another time, just for context this is where I'm coming from.

The ring is supposed to symbolize her nobility and to her, her connection to the prince so could her takig her ring off then mean she doesn't care about the prince anymore? We do see Touga later remark that she isn't going for the prince, she's going for Anthy. I also wonder if she takes it off because she feels like she's failed to protect Anthy like she swore she would. She's kept fighting the student council members who wouldn't see her as a person, then the black rose duelist who sought to kill her, she thought she'd won too and no one would try to take Anthy again only to discover that the real threat was under her nose the whole time and it can't be fought by knocking a rose off his chest and they can't ask for help because they have no one to turn to that can help them. This makes sense to me but I'm curious to hear other thoughts. If this is the case though, Utena takes the ring off in defeat, not in scorn.

Anthy presents her with a letter from End of the World. She says that her brother loves her too and she wishes they could stay like this forever. Utena rips the letter up and scatters the pieces all around the room. It can look like she's lashing out at Anthy, but I'm not sure I think so, I think she seems more like she's lashing out at her situation but it puzzles me still. Her spoken goal was always to meet her prince again but we've seen that motive falter as she grows closer to Anthy and starts to almost remember her. She never wanted to revolutionize the world.

Maybe it's what Touga said when he talks to Akio about how she chose a real man over her fairy tale prince in a sense. Maybe she tears the letter up because Anthy is more important than her prince? Maybe she knows that she'll only find Akio if she goes. Idk but she's clearly upset and we see her do a lot of thinking this episode while barely sharing any of it.

Anthy tries to jump off the roof and Utena pulls her back. Is this in direct response to Utena taking the ring off and shredding the letter? The whole point of the duels is to free Anthy from her endless torture but the duelists don't know that, which would make sense then as Anthy is the one who's taped the letter back together so she must want her to go(but does she for her own sake of because of Akio though??). It's also after this that she's changed her mind about going back.

Idk, it seems less like a fall out/make up episode to me and more of a character's lowest moment type episode for both of them. If Utena takes the ring off and rips the letter means that she thinks she's failed to protect Anthy and realizing a paradigm shift where she doesn't care about the prince anymore, maybe then picking the ring and letter back up means she's willing to give it another try and this time solely for Anthy?

So much rambling, please pitch in with thoughts, I'm just trying to figure stuff out sorry about all the probably typos;v;

[beautifulsnake2162020]

Rambling Fan Review of the donghua Heaven Official's Blessing (English dub)

I just need to ramble for a bit after finishing the entire series (PLEASE TELL ME THERE IS A SEASON 3!).

Quick Quick review version: I LOVE IT even if I didn't read the novels yet. Highly recommended.

Quick review version: Why is this so underrated?! Would me fangirling about it make Season 3 to arrive faster? I GET THE HYPE NOW!

Actual review/rambling:

So just to be clear on a few things so that everyone is on the same page:

I deliberately chose the English dub once I saw it was an option because my brain needs to rest from all my academic readings and it was too tired to read the subtitles;

There is nothing professional about this review - it's just me writing all my feelings after crying on the closing montage of season 2. Considering that I was emotionally crying on the closing montage of Season 1, I don't know why I'm surprised at myself for doing the same on the Season 2 montage;

I read some spoilers from the wikia pages because I want to know if Hualian gets a happy ending or if I have to write one for them;

I am horny for James Cheek's Hua Cheng voice;

Having said that I am so impressed with his vocal chemistry with Howard Wang's Xie Lian. When I read the novels (when life finally allows me to do so), their voices will be the voices in my head for Hua Cheng and Xie Lian;

I watched some of Kictor's videos on TGCF , specifically this video but I stopped at around the 12 minute mark since I was confused at first midway on the first episode on who was supposed to be Xie Lian's love interest. I initially thought it was going to be a love triangle with Xie Lian being fought over. I was impatient and I needed to know just the background details. I can confidently say that I think this video helped me in clarifying some things and I think the emotional reveals still work;

I am very aware that there were certain scenes that needs to be changed because of China's censorship laws and that the novels have more leeway;

A part of my brain is already making outlines for fanfiction for Hualian; and

The most important point - It is okay to disagree with me. This is just my opinion on what touched me the most while watching the story unfold.

Okay now to the fangirl rambling:

As I type this to the youtube loop of Red Supreme by Hu Xia I've got a lot of positively emotional feelings.

I LOVE how their love story unfolds. How they save each other and they complement each other so well.

I especially love how the story within itself shows why Hualian loves each other even though they may not expressly say it but it is so obvious from their actions to each other and their internal monologue that we are given every now and then.

Season 1 is about showing that Hua Cheng's reason for existing is his love for Xie Lian.

Season 2 is about showing why Hua Cheng's feelings are from genuine love for Xie Lian.

If anything their love story teaches an important lesson: Hope doesn't have to be perfect to be effective.

At the start of Season 1, everyone in Heaven has given up hope on Xie Lian being nothing more than a waste of space who has the audacity to ascend three times and it seems like everyone except Ling Wen who after informing him of his debt because of the damage his latest ascension caused was able to help him get a task to quickly get more credit to pay off the debt (to be honest I still don't really understand the currency of Heaven but maybe that's kinda the point that the story is trying to make in that in a place supposedly of paradise this should be ridiculous. Mortals believing themselves reaching heaven will grant them freedom only to be subjected to the current system in place). And it is this little piece of hope that leads him to Hua Cheng who is the very proof that he has managed to greatly affect someone by giving them hope when they wanted to give up. Xie Lian may think later on that he might have said something ridiculous but to Hua Cheng who wanted to commit suicide, his very existence is the hope he needed to change his perspective on life and it is because of Xie Lian telling him to make him the purpose of Hua Cheng's life that Hua Cheng finally got to live. Even if now he is a ghost, from the brief time he actually truly lived life, that experience showed him what are the things that matters the most. And him achieving greatness in the form of being one of if not the most dangerous calamity that Heaven had to face. So much so that he has killed 33 Gods and has gained a reputation of being someone who is essentially the God killer. He did all of this because Xie Lian saw him in a time when no one wanted to see Hua Cheng, much more help him. This is mirrored in Ban Yue who kept the hope that Xie Lian gave her when he shared with her his dream of saving the world. Something he is later embarrassed about but it was enough for her to do her best to change things, even when it involved the massacre within the city walls. And once again this is shown in Lang Qianqiu to whom Xie Lian was a mentor to (I forgot the word they used for mentor but you get what I mean), when he taught him that it is not the royal family but the people that makes a nation thrive and this lead to Qianqiu leading a peaceful reign and united the nations of Xianle and accomplishing what several others had hoped for.

And this is where these relationships begin to act as a foil to show why the Hualian relationship works.

Ban Yue was misguided and did not have enough experience to trust in herself to know the difference between right and wrong and the subtly gray area in between. While influenced by Pei Jr, she also isn't wrong for saying that she also had some responsibility. But she thinks that the beatings she took in her afterlife is her penance for what she did on that day. It was self-destructive because while she may not say it out loud a part of her feels like she deserves to be treated badly after what she has done. And it was only after they saved her - that she begins to start moving on.

When Xie Lian started to become a God that was hated, he was also self-destructive and feeling like maybe he did deserve it. It was during this time that Hua Cheng still in his mortal lifetime declared that he will never forget Xie Lian. While this may or may not have influenced Xie Lian into moving on from any past mistakes, we do know that he may have not confronted any negative feelings enough that he still has a mental breakdown when the truth is revealed to Lang Qiangqiu. And so Hua Cheng provided Xie Lian that space and person to not be alone while confronting these feelings and thoughts all the while also reassuring Xie Lian that he is not a bad person for what he has done.

Speaking of being viewed as a bad person, we also come to the flaw of Lang Qiangqiu's perspective on Xie Lian. Both Lang Qiangqiu and Hue Cheng admired Xie Lian for saving them and wanted to be like their savior. But there is a difference: Lang Qiangqiu despite having more interactions with Xie Lian as his student, grew up idolizing him so much that he did not notice that the image he made of Xie Lian in his head is either a savior who could do no wrong or the traitor who killed his family and all of their lessons and experiences together were lies so that Xie Lian could kill his entire family. This simplistic reduction of Xie Lian which had carried out even in Lang Qiangqiu's life as a martial God, is not the true Xie Lian who was somewhere in between. Seeing him as nothing more than a savior prevents him from thinking of the times when Xie Lian was the killer rather than the savior. And seeing him as nothing more than a traitor would make him blind in the things that Xie Lian was genuinely trying to teach him to make him better than generations before.

Meanwhile Hue Cheng only had a few but significant interactions with Xie Lian that doesn't simply reduce Xie Lian as either one or the other. He knows enough to know that Xie Lian is altruistic and would do anything that would make the world better. Whether that was disrupting a procession in his honor to save a bandaged child from being killed from a fall or what seems to be the massacre of the Yong An royal family with only the heir remaining, he knows Xie Lian has enough reason to do the things that he did, though he may not know all the facts of the story. And to talk with the God he loved when said God was feeling hopeless and was in despair because people now hate him and are destroying his temples made Hue Cheng realize that even Gods feels remorse, upset, tired, and hopeless. I think this is the moment that Hue Cheng truly becomes devoted to Xie Lian. I forgot who in the Hualian tumblr community said it but I have to agree that this very human moment of Xie Lian being in despair is the catalyst in Hue Cheng's life to be the person whom the God he loves could turn to when he needs support from someone. And what better support could a God have than the most devoted follower that would become the most dangerous and notorious Ghost King among the four calamities. Him being a ghost is also the very thing that ensures Xie Lian continues to exist. These two interactions he has had was enough to not paint a simple picture of Xie Lian in Hue Cheng's mind which allowed him more than Lang Qiangqiu more contemplation on Hue Cheng's part on who the actual Xie Lian is while also allowing room to get to know him more.

Add this to how he is disgusted by how Heaven is for allowing Xie Lian to be taken for granted and which made him realize that beneath the beautiful veneer it is still a system which seems to hinder rather than actually help both Gods and mortals alike - being the most powerful and dangerous Ghost to warrant being a threat to Heaven truly was the best option for Hue Cheng.

And I know this has already been said but it is beautiful that even now in the early stages of their relationship both of them wants to be there for each other. Xie Lian was always there in some form or another for Hue Cheng and Hue Cheng is always there for Xie Lian no matter what disguise or form he takes. They both complement each other's weaknesses. Xie Lian tends to overthink and sometimes doesn't allow himself to truly feel because of his religious sect. Hue Cheng while also calculating tends to take action more because of either efficiency or boredom. Xie Lian apologizing to Hue Cheng for giving him half-truths and thinking about the damages he caused while Hue Cheng apologizes for wounding Xie Lian was so beautiful in that they both love each other to think they deserve retribution from the other when it is so obvious they want their relationship to be repaired.

Hue Cheng is the one being that Xie Lian could truly be himself with and Xie Lian is the one being that keeps Hue Cheng living even though he himself is no longer mortal. And that is such a beautiful love story.

[navibluebees]

Quaritch x Sunshine!reader? Like Quaritch being well.. himself all the time and reader is like trying to tell him ways to be more optimistic and tries cheer him up. Shes not scared of him or upset that he turns down her ideas, shes just super fing persistent and Quaritch ends up falling for her. + maybe when the others find out they are like super surprised and tease them or smthn. Ily! <3

Please read before interacting.

Oooh I love this. Grumpy x sunshine ALWAYS. Also ily too bby! <3 Writing this with Y/N as a recom~

You smiled at the man across the table from you. He leaned in, ears flattening and bared his teeth menacingly. "I do not need any of your silly little tricks to be "happy". I'm just fine the way I am."

You sighed, rolling your eyes playfully, pushing off of the desk as you turned to go. "Fine, Colonel, but you'll see. It helps a lot more than you think it does."

He fought the urge to watch the sway of your hips and tail as you exited the room. Too stressed. Mediation. Yoga?? Ugh. What did that girl know anyway?

~~~

The Colonel had been especially stressed and who wouldn't be? Yanked back from the quiet of death, thrust into a life you all thought you'd left behind. Somehow your group had become solely responsible for resolving this conflict with Jake Sully even though there was a whole force waiting to be used. Perks of being a new and improved soldier, you supposed.

Your hands rolled the pieces of dough before plopping them onto a baking sheet. He might not be interested in soul stuff, but surely I can get to him through his stomach.

Later, you held the container of cookies in one hand and strolled down the hallway, taking a breath before you moved into Quaritch's office. You smoothed the note you'd put on the top and gently set the box down on his desk, centering it nicely.

"Y/N! What are you doing in here?"

You flinched and turned, giving him a bright smile. "Just bringing you some cookies, that okay?"

His lip curled back in a snarl. "Cookies? You've resorted to cookies? I'm not a child."

You took the opportunity to slip out of the room, patting his shoulder gently.

He growled in frustration, stomping over to his desk and throwing himself into his chair. He eyed the box curiously and reached for it to pull a cookie out. He sniffed it, uncertain, before popping it into his mouth. With a groan, he leaned back and closed his eyes, savoring it.

"Shit, these are good."

~~~

You sat on the top of a building, your banshee curled up behind you, bathing in the early light. Your mat underneath you, you stretched, hands reaching out in front. Your banshee chirped a curious sound and your ears swiveled to attention.

The colonel stood awkwardly, rolled mat tucked under his arm, lips pursed tight. Your head tilted as you appraised him. He stood frozen under your scrutiny. You huffed a laugh and beamed at him, sitting back on your heels. "Come sit next to me, Colonel."

He set his mat down at your side, unrolling it underneath your watchful gaze. He crouched down and looked at you then back to the sky ahead. With a deep breath, he turned again to you and asked, "So what's this yoga thing?"

You grinned eagerly, excited he was opening up to the idea. "For me, it's about being more in tune with my body and finding a bit of peace in my day. Some people enjoy it because you can become stronger, have better balance, things like that. I enjoy the spiritual aspect of it."

His nose wrinkled, slightly unsure, but he shrugged and nodded. "Alright.. well.. what do we do?"

You adjusted to a plank position, knowing he would be more familiar with that than any other pose. He moved easily, holding himself up alongside you. You regulated your breathing, in tune with him watching you from the side. He steadied himself, searching for whatever peace you seemed to have. Nothing.

You moved behind him, gently lifting his hips. "Now, I want you to try what's called a downward facing dog."

He grunted in surprise, tail whipping out to snap across your forearms. You jumped back, wide-eyed and he turned to you, wincing and rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry.. but you gotta buy me dinner first if you're going to grab at my hips like that."

You stared at him, processing for a moment before doubling over in laughter. His tail quivered, pleased with the noise coming from you and that he'd caused it. You smiled and gasped, looking past him. He turned and gaped, eyes widening. Polyphemus was high in the sky. Light rose over the trees, the sky a light pink shot through with gold.

He felt your hand rest on his shoulder as you watched the morning light together. His skin buzzed and he looked up at you, noting the way your cheeks rose at the beauty of the sky. Your banshee called out to the others flying nearby, startling you both from the quiet of the moment.

~~~

After a harrowing experience with rooftop yoga, Quaritch's body rebelled against him, legs a bit more jelly than he'd ever admit. That could have had something to do with your soft smile and gentle hands guiding him into the different poses, though..

You stepped through the door, grabbing a respirator and slinging it around his neck, careful of his ears. He stilled, eyes locked on your hands reaching for another. His arm shot out, pushing your hand down before he pulled a respirator from the wall, dropping his mat in the process. Both hands free, he stepped to face you, gently settling it over your head and holding it up to your face.

"Breathe," he whispered.

You coughed lightly, sucking in air. Your eyes were wide over the respirator as he held it to your face, pulling his own to cover his mouth and nose. He drank in deeply, eyes never leaving yours.

He scrutinized you in a new light. Maybe your ideas weren't so silly after all. He flinched when he felt a hand settle on his bicep. You pulled the respirator down, a tentative smile on your face. "Thank you for joining me this morning. I'll meet you for chow in a bit."

He watched you, dumbstruck, taking in your figure as it slipped lithely around a corner. An arm was suddenly thrown over his shoulder and he turned to see Lyle unable to contain his most notable grin. The other man's hand came down and slapped him across the back. "Ooh, sweaty. What were you two up to this morning?"

Quaritch bristled and sensing impending doom, Lyle took off down the hallway, crowing out a laugh. He shook his head and stood quietly, existing in the moment, soaking in the morning.

***

Also having a vision of sunshine Y/N calling him popcorn because of colonel being pronounced 'kernel'.

Taglist:

@drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed

[b3achysurfur]

I know I originally said in a comment at some point about how annoying the Logan war got (think it was in that post asking why we all suddenly backed off) but now I just find your posts humoring it's like "THIS LITTLE GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT-" and it's the most innocent picture of Logan.

Love seeing it nowadays (cuz it's funny), but you have a good point that he hasn't furthered the story yet but I feel like Red might change that soon. Hopefully. Also how we haven't had his backstory but that also might change too (we've got a hint in one episode where they fought his bullies, something about how his parents didn't want him and he fact that we've only seen his grandparents but not his actual parents says something....)

Anyways something I need to ask you! What are your opinions on the others, what you like about them or dislike, favorite moments and what not. I'm curious!

Sorry this may have been long!

SEE NOW YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MY HUMOR , THIS ACTUALLY MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! THANK UUUUU A LOT

also UR SO GREAT FOR THE QUESTION YOU ASKED!! I love talking about everyone else

I’ll assess them in order of: ashlyn, aiden, taylor, tyler, ben (not by order of how much I like them or anything btw). Some sections are longer than others because I’m bias BUT ALSO BECAUSE I got tired of typing and realized there was wayyy tm to read. Sorry!!!! if you don’t wanna read all this I put a short summary all the way on the bottom + feel free to me ask me specific questions ! now let me talk your ear off

ASHLYN:

I really like ashlyn because she has the most potential out of everyone (and that’s not to say the other characters aren’t deep, because that’s the opposite of true but bae is the whole reason we’re here). I think she’s also really relatable in the sense that she doesn’t like interacting with people but she can easily take the leadership role when needed. like okay queen I see you. also I really enjoy the fact Red made her dislike aiden at first even though they have a side romance plot going rn. bc that’s how it would’ve been if they were real. ash would not just become chatty out of no where and fall head over heels for him. and I really appreciate the slowburn. Ashlyn’s also higher on my favorites list because I’m bias and we have the same hair length 😣 usually when characters have long hair, authors tend to let their hair flow a lot, but red put ts in braids 🙏 and ask anyone with long hair like that, their hair is up 99% of the time bc it’s annoying, hot, and (personally) GRABS ONTO EVERYTHING LIKE ITS A THIRD HAND. I have a lot of headcannons for ash just based on small character designs / aspects that not a lot of people really think about. She’s so interesting and I really just love her. And since I have positives, I’ll give one negative about her. In the beginning, Ashlyn was really hesitant to tell the group anything. I understand where she was coming from, and given Tyler’s reaction, I don’t blame her for keeping things to herself. But mannnn ts was so frustrating sometimes. it’s ok tho bc all good stories stress you out.

AIDEN:

omg guys it’s my favorite ever. I know aidens really popular already so I’ll try not to rant on about him forever but hes just the best 😣 but mans really does not gaf EVERR.

now I could rant on and on about how silly Aiden is and why he’s so misunderstood as a character, because he’s not crazy like at all and if anything he’s one of the smartest characters in sbg, but I’ll save if for a better time. Instead I wanna talk about how observant he is of Ben and ashlyn.

it’s cropping weridly, sorry. but aiden’s eyes are always watching the ones he cares about most. I feel like this has to do with the fact Ben cannot voice his concerns/opinions so aiden always has to glance at him to make sure he’s not missing any important signal. But I also think it has to do with his childhood (I don’t have fast pass or anything this is just based off of theories/analysis based on his character bc I do that a lot 🤒). Anyways, he has a specific way of comforting people that I think it’s rlly niche. He uses his hands and gets the person what he thinks they need. Like in the attached images he gets ashlyn fabric to squeeze and distracts her with light conversation, and he immediately offers to take a walk with Ben and get some fresh air. If a person refuses or asks him for space, he immediately obeys and doesn’t question their decision. He’s very trusting and understanding. He gives people room to make mistakes and gives them room to ask for help. I’m mainly bringing this up because it ties back to something I’m gonna talk about in Taylor’s section. I just think that this detail is so important to his character and we always brush over it. I don’t wanna say he doesn’t like physical touch, bc he’s always touching everything around him, but I like to think his main love language is acts of service. When you really look at it, his actions speak a lot louder than his bickering and it really helps display how much each character means to him individually. what elseee. He’s able to quickly adjust and assess situations (like when he attacked the phantom or pulled up ashlyn in the bus). He’s very quick to his feet and always needs to be interacting with something to keep his hands busy. Aiden just really don’t gaf 99% of the time (unless it’s Ben / ashlyn) and honestly that’s why I like him. He doesn’t take anything seriously or personally. clap it up for my hb. Also I notice the sbg fandom has a habit of doing it with everyone, but I feel like Aiden is always reduced to his impulsive behaviors and ‘crazy kid’ persona. please guys. look deeper into Aiden Clark. Instead of wasting your energy trying to defend a NERDY FREAK like Logan fields, you should study more on Aiden Clark and his complex character.

yes. do that. rn. You want to so badly. I know you do. Do it. Go reread sbg and focus on Aiden. wowwww. I know you want to. (I’m hypnotizing you btw) Or just ask me I can talk about Aiden (or really any character) alll day long. Ask me anything about anyone and I’ll tell you what I think with proof and evidence. yes. I just need to cut it short because I have to talk about everyone else to. But study Aiden Clark. do it. really. really. Right now. Go. Go. Now. PLUS Aiden’s probably the least likely to die because he’s to cool for that + he’s better than death and injury. YAAA!!! MAKE AIDEN CLARK UR FAV BC YOULL BE SAFE FROM ANGST 🎉

only thing I don’t like about Aiden gotta be his fashion sense sometimes (usually beginning S1). like WHAT R U WEARING MAN???? 🙁

TAYLOR:

okay now let me talk about my shnukums Taylor. I love her a lot but her and Tyler had very different childhoods regardless of the fact they were in the same situation.

We don’t know a lot about Taylor’s version of growing up, so a lot of the details are vague but everything I say is based off of observations and analyses I have personally made, so please take everything I say about Taylor’s backstory with a grain of salt and understand that no matter what, both twins were majorly affected by the passing of their father and illness of their mother.

At first i thought of Taylor was the more lucky one out of Tyler and Taylor when it came to their childhood. Yes she struggled, I knew that, but Tyler was under a lot of stress. But that’s when I realized that she suffered just as much. Although she didn’t need to sacrifice herself to help her family survive, like Tyler did, she went though the most loss. She lost her mother, father, and brother all overnight. One second they were all happy together and the next she was all alone. Physically, her mother and brother were still there, but they were both shells. Her mother isolated by grief and her brother isolated by responsibility. She was all alone. Yes Tyler did his best to support her, but at the end of the day, there wasn’t much he could do to change the situation. Taylor suffered a lot, and since people mostly focus on Tyler, we never really see Taylor’s POV of it all.

Now her backstory leads me into the fact Taylor is the most socially smart character in sbg. She is also the most observant and supportive. This is not to say others aren’t observant/supportive, like Aiden for an example, but she does it much differently. I would attach a picture here but I’m close to maxing out the photo limit and I want to save it for later.

Taylor is very good at reading the emotions of other characters. She is also very observant. Taylor is often the first to notice when a charater is uncomfortable, panicked, or harmed. For an example, she’s the first to notice Ashlyn’s fear back at the house. Unlike Aiden, Taylor is able to verbally let people know she is there for them. She comforts them through words and physical affection. Taylor is usually aware of how much support someone is in need of and the best way to display it for them specifically. For an example when Logan was getting bullied, she defended him against Tyler’s mean words and held his shoulder for reassurance. This same tactic would not work for ashlyn, and Taylor is aware of that. So, when ashlyn broke down about the struggles of being leader, Taylor comforted her through words and reassured her fears. Taylor opened up a space for ashlyn to be scared and share her burden. She was able to do all of this in only a couple of moments. This skills also becomes a werid quirk when she is able to sense Tyler’s condition in the hospital, but maybe that was just twin senses? 🤷‍♀️ idk

Taylor is also very aware of everyone around her. We know that she is very social and has a lot of friends and connections, but she also educates herself on the people she doesn’t interact with. Even if she doesn’t know a lot, she makes sure to acknowledge their presence at the very least.

What does her ability to read emotion have to do with her childhood? Well, Taylor basically lived with a shell of a family. Tyler was under constant stress, which made him prone to outbursts. Her mother was disabled by grief. Taylor was in a situation that made her feel like she had to take care of her family mentally. It was, to her, the least she could do. So, she was mentally mature from a very young age. Although having to hold the burdens of others constantly is very unhealthy, I’m not sure if she’ll crack because of it.

Taylor being very social and having a lot of friends is also another example of how she’s different from Tyler and how their shared childhood affected them differently. Tyler saw people as distractions while Taylor sees them as her means to keep living. Taylor lives off of other peoples energy, and she maintains the energy of other people by being a supportive beam for them. This is also why I’m okay with Taylor being shipped with others. She’s use to being around people and can form close bonds with others while still only viewing them as friends. Tyler cannot do the same. Taylor is in a position where she can expand her horizons into romantic relations if she was interested in doing so. That’s why I feel as though it’s okay (if that doesn’t make sense I’ll explain it again, but I tried to condense it down)

Something I don’t like about Taylor is that we haven’t gotten to see her brain in action yet. We know she’s the president of the robotics club , but we haven’t had the chance to see her charater support the story in any other way but socially and mentally. The story is only at 60 episodes though, and I’m sure we will see it eventually. Im just impatient and want to see women in STEM shine 😣😣 I wish I could talk about her more, but we barely know anything about Taylor as of right now. I will say it’s interesting how she told her and Tyler’s backstory, but only talked about how Tyler was affected and not herself. Interesting… I hope we learn more about her experiences and I hope I’m right 🙏 also CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE HOW PRETTY SHE IS??? UGHH I LOVE HER SMM

TYLER:

I feel like Tyler has been the topic of discussion for the past couple of months because his backstory was revealed and the end of S1 / beginning of S2 was all about him and his past, so I don’t have a lot to say that I haven’t already said. but I do really like Tyler. At first when he was in his jock era I was very , oh! about him. but he’s actually warmed up to me sooooo much since then. he’s so goofy I just want more interactions between him and Aiden. I think I good place to start is how much I HATE people shipping him with other members of the main cast. I talked about it a little in Taylor’s section, but him and Taylor had very different childhoods. Again, I’m not saying their father’s death and mother’s illness was not hard on the both of them, but Tyler was under a lot of pressure too. We know he isolated himself harshly, and stopped having fun all together. The way I look at it, everything, including living day-to-day, became a chore for Tyler. Ever since he was a little kid. His dad’s death changed his entire world overnight. He had to learn how to physically and mentally support everyone important to him, because if he couldn’t no one else would. Tyler had to learn everything about living life by himself as a baby just so everyone else could survive. He stopped having fun. Little kids find fun in everything. Tyler stopped himself from finding it. He didn’t do anything for himself anymore. He was almost like a empty shell doing automatic tasks so that his sister and mother could have space to grow, heal, and live. In a sense, it was self sacrifice (which he attempts again when he tells the group to leave him behind)

So when Taylor tells us that the main cast started to become an extension of the family he sacrificed himself for, it’s so heavy on his character. Especially because for once in a long time he started relating his ‘family’ back to joy and fun, not just safety and survival. That’s why it bothers me when people ship him with others. It’s so werid to imply he’d date any of the main cast when he sees them as his family. consider them blood-siblings if you gotta, but just stop shipping them. PLEAASSSSEEEEEEEEEEE. otherwise I’ll eat your dog. thanks! also him being friends with the main cast at all is such a huge step for him. I don’t think Tyler has time to get involved with romantic relationships when he believes friends are a distraction. I know a lot of people go to romance when they want to express how strong a connection is between two characters, but you guys are forgetting that Tyler considering everyone as his friends is sooooo much more complex and deep compared to (for an example) Logan saying he considers everyone his friend. ANYWAYS ENOUGHHH!!! let’s move on.

I also wanna talk about this scene (I was to lazy to go find the original scene so the flashback is all you get). I never really realized how much ashlyn ordering Tyler around must’ve affected him. He literally spent his whole life making decisions and taking leadership and all of a sudden some random lil girl is over here telling him to stfu and sit his ass down. I would imagine as mad as he was, he probably felt a least a bit of relief. For once the responsibility wasn’t on him, at least not only on him. He could share his burden with others, and he wasn’t suffocated by being responsible for the lives of everyone else. We see this same struggle affect ashlyn, as she feels like being leader strangles her with the weight of guilt, paranoia, and responsibility. Imagine if Tyler had been the one to bare that weight after everything he’s already been through? he would’ve cracked, whether we like it or not. so let’s clap it up for ashlyn rq!!! yasss girl 😋 I know I’m rambling a lot about tyler but I know a lot about him and want to talkkk 😣 but here is my last point: Tyler’s coping mechanism to the unknown and things that confuse him is denial. Just like his mother 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

woww! do you guys remember when Tyler thought this whole thing was a joke? me too! he would’ve never thought this silly prank would almost kill him. Tyler’s mom probably thought her husband’s illness wouldn’t kill him either. oops! 😂 (I’m going kms). sorry. my point is they both refused to believe it happened (although his mom’s denial may have been more of a trauma response while his was just to help him cope). Even with evidence, they both couldn’t understand what had happened to them and pretending nothing was wrong. Tyler saw the picture of the phantom’s shadow and brushed it off to technology he couldn’t understand yet. he felt more comfortable with not knowing how technology worked rather than not knowing if he was in danger. his mother is similar. She couldn’t understand and cope with the death of her husband, even though he died in front of her. She felt more comfortable not understanding why he was late from work than understanding he was dead and gone. Guess it runs in the family? 🤷‍♀️ and since these are all things I like about his character, I will tell you what I don’t like. THAT STUPID ASS JOCK ATTUIDE FROM S1. okay I didn’t hate it, and it fit him sometimes, and I kinda miss it sometimes, but he’s like 5’5 and a stick, he is not beating no one’s ass 😭 respectfully. now he could probably rock me but he’s matured a bit since S1 so it’s different. Tyler’s not even my favorite idk why I talked about him sm , especially when I held off on talking about Aiden because I didn’t want to say to much 🤦‍♀️ whatever

BEN:

I have a lot to say about Benny boy, especially because he is SOOOOOO mischaraterized. Now I won’t go crazy like I did for the twins because I’m thinking about making a separate post just about Ben (maybe.. maybe not idk). plus I just reminded myself anon asked me to just say a few things I like and disliked about each charater not give crazy long paragraph about them. so, sorry Ben but you will probably have the most boring paragraph of them all. I still love you a lot pookie 🙏 I’m just tired AND MAXED OUT THE AMOUNT OF PICS I CAN USE EVEN THO I NEED TO TALK ABOUT U WHILE USING PICS 🤒 anyways enough rambling.

bens charater is often reduced to his backstory which genuinely makes me want to start tweaking out. if you expand on why his trauma affects him, then I will happily listen to you talk. But when most the fandom sees Ben as “music boy who hate bully, will fight you if you be mean” it makes me so SAAAADDDDD. no, Ben will NOT beat my ass for making fun of Logan. That’s like… the whole point of his backstory? He doesn’t like violence, at all. He’s ashamed of his anger issues. He blames himself for having to move and putting his family in danger. The only reason he got involved with Logan’s fight was because the phantom interference + no one was there to help calm him down.

also he doesn’t only do music. he draws too! he’s a very artistic dude. He also gardens. Ben be planting food and shit. which (as much as I HATE the ship) Logan n Ben shippers could probably use to their advantage. Yk bc Ben gardens and Logan helps his grandparents in their greenhouse? wtv. Bens prob growing flowers for Taylor anyways. Fuck Logan. sorry.

Ben is also very compassionate and gentle. He’s always thinking about what’s best for the group, even if it puts him in an uncomfortable position, like sharing his trauma. Ben is also very soft hearted. He gets flustered very easily, we see this when ashlyn and Taylor complimented him. He is very protective over those he cares about and he does not come to play, ever. Also his character development from S1 makes me so happy. He use to be attached to Aiden’s hip 24/7 and we could often only understand his emotions when Aiden would translate him to us. But we’ve seen lately that he’s much closer to Taylor, even putting her safety before his own.

wow, gentleman alert❗️if I didn’t run out of photo space than I would’ve shown more examples where he holds onto others as a way to comfort or protect them. he’s so respectful I might cry. maybe I will make a Ben-centered post. I need to show you guys pictures so you can understand what I’m saying. But Ben is growing and he needs more attention. thank you.

SUMMARY:

Ashlyn

pros:

- has crazy potential + most hinted at lore

- very relateable

-introverted but stands on business

-W relationship development between her and the cast, very natural and not forced

- her hair

cons:

- she is very hesitant to spill info (only in earlier chaps tho!)

Aiden

pros:

- silly

- observant of those he cares about

- acts of service love language

- trusting/understanding

- quick on his feet

- good at assessing situations/making plans

- he doesn’t GAF 🦅🦅 EVAAA

cons:

- often misunderstood / mischaraterized by the fandom

- has ugly ass outfits sometimes

Taylor

pros:

- most socially smart character in sbg

- good at reading emotions

- good at comforting others

- aware of her surroundings/the people around her

- supportive

- social

- super pretty

- wrote a paragraph on why it’s ok to ship her with the rest of the cast js cuz

cons:

- we don’t see enough of her robotics president side, show me women in STEM 🤬

- we never saw how she experienced childhood (yet..)

Tyler

pros:

- deep childhood trauma/responsibility

- sacrificed himself for his family twice

- not meant to be shipped with anyone in main cast

- sees main cast as family

- he finally made friends

- talked about the scene where ash tells him to shut his bitchass up

- copes by using denial (js like his mom)

cons:

- his jock attitude during S1

Ben

pros:

- hates violence

- angery at his anger issues

- ashamed of his past

- draws and gardens as hobbies

- compassionate and gentle

- soft hearted

- easily flustered

- very protective

- slow but steady quiet charater development

- a gentleman

cons:

- you guys mischaraterize him a lot (like someone told me he doesn’t change as a character bc he never speaks, ts made me mad asf)

THATS ALL! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! again feel free to as me questions about anything at all even if you didn’t read allat. And if you did, thank you ur so sweet and amazing. Sorry for writing sm 😢

also everyone is open to their own opinions, this is just what I think. As always, I’m always down to debate.

[cabezadeperro]

cabezadeperro's year in review (fic version)

Hi, hello! It's the last day of the year, and what a year 2023 has been. I moved to a different continent in Fall 2022, but I somehow found the time to keep writing and posting Star Wars fanfiction for the fourth year in a row.

These are some of my favourite fics I posted this year. I didn't write as much or as often as I'd like, but I am pretty proud of some of my work, so. Here it is!

Also, I'm very bad at replying to comments but thanks so much to all of you who take the time and leave one. I know my stuff is very often niche and kind of weird, so if you clicked and read and enjoyed one of my fics this year: I appreciate it a lot. Thank you so much.

dead men walking | E | Commander Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi | 63k

It was supposed to be an easy job: prisoner transports are always quick money. Three years after waking up from cryo, Cody—formerly known as ICC-2224—finds himself working as a bounty hunter for one of the guilds. He has a body that doesn’t feel his, a memory full of holes, and little else. When the man he’s guarding escapes, Cody finds himself following one Obi-Wan Kenobi across a war-torn galaxy and into the most dangerous job of all: stealing a mysterious artifact from the heart of the New Republic.

This was my fic for the 2022 Codywan Big Bang. It was Very hard to write and the reason I decided to stop participating in events for the rest of 2023. I kind of hate it, but I'm also pretty proud of it (because I finished despite it all, and also I think it's pretty good).

You'll like it if: you enjoy good artwork (cowboy's illustration of Cody in bed is probably one of my favourite pieces of Cody fanart, and I love punk's cover an absurd amount), weird AUs, cyberpunk, and being depressed.

fortunate son | M | Commander Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Commander Cody/Commander Fox, Commander Cody & Captain Rex | 12k

On change.

This was one of those fics I started in 2022 and finished in 2023. It's my take of the No Order 66 trope that attempts to deal with ideas of change and growing and adapting to new places, new people, and new sides of people you've known for a while. (Gee, I wonder why I wrote this fic the year I moved across the world.)

I'm also really proud of the codyfox prequel I published the other day, secant, but I think this one is more--ambitious?

You'll like it if: you like studying Cody like the bug and complicated relationships, and would like to read a slightly different take on the Fix-It/No Order 66 trope.

sulphur and tea | M | Obi-Wan Kenobi/Jango Fett | 1.8K

They say Jango Fett fell in battle, that the thing that walks and fights and wears his beskar is something else. Obi-Wan knows better.

There are a few games I get very obsessed with every now and then, and one of them is Ghost of Tsushima. This fic is a very vague adaptation of the concept behind the main character of those games, applied to Jango. I had A Lot of fun writing it though it fought me quite a bit, and it allowed me to play with one of the most popular kenfetti tropes from a different perspective. It's one of those fics that I'd like to write a sequel/prequel/spin-off to sometime.

You'll like it if: you like whump (especifically Jango whump) and What Ifs about the Mandalorian Civil War and the first years of Anakin's padawanship.

choosing to be chosen | E | ARC Trooper Echo/ARC Trooper Fives | 6.6k

ARC troopers always work in pairs.

I wrote this as a gift for a friend who wrote what's probably my favourite Echo/Fives fic ever (which I just remembered was also a gift for me lmao). I don't write this ship as much or as often as I'd like, but I'm very happy about how this one turned out--I think I nailed why I find this relationship so compelling (the inevitable tragedy, the fact that they keep choosing each other, the fact that they cannot help but choose each other). I also had a lot of fun writing Fives! He's such a messed up, interesting little dude.

You'll like it if: you enjoy intense relationships, sexual and romantic tension, baby's first attempt at milwank, Fives being clever and in love and just that tiny bit manipulative.

the price of blood | T | Commander Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi | 13.8k

A year and a half after the beginning of Cody and Rex's rebellion, Palpatine reaches out to Kenobi: he wants to talk to him, and he doesn't want Cody to be there. It goes as well as expected.

This is one of those fics that get out of hand. I wrote it because someone left an ask saying they loved the first part of what is now a series (it's not actually a series on AO3; I was planning to make it one but I forgor. as I do.) I really love fantasy and all its subgenres and I don't write it as much as I'd like, so it was the perfect chance to go ham and do a bit of of worldbuilding for fun. I'm not super happy with the ending, but I really like everything else, so.

You'll like it if: you like low fantasy, the environmental storytelling approach to fantasy worldbuilding, complicated relationships and characters keeping secrets. Oh, and Cody whump.

five times cody and rex shared a bed and one time they wished they could | T | Commander Cody/Captain Rex | 4.7k

Cody and Rex throughout the war.

This fic is very much what it says on the tin: Cody and Rex from when they first meet each other, through the war and their slow loss of trust in each other, until they meet again after the war ends. This format of fic is very popular for a reason, what can I say. I really enjoyed writing it, and I think I did a pretty good job portraying their potential relationship as I see it through a bunch of scenes.

You'll like it if: you like bittersweet endings, canon-adjacent fic, and Cody and Rex being insane about each other.

And that's it! Thanks for reading (again), and I hope you have a great NYE and a great 2024--I think we all fucking deserve it.

[vampysparkz]

Poltergeist Part 2

Ajax Petropolus X Fem!Reader

WARNINGS

None!

TAGLIST.

@mitsuri-suzuki @regulus-black-223048 @gretesstuff

After some quiet bickering between Y/N and Enid, the two made their way down to the quad. They walked down the stone hallways, Enid rambling on and on about how annoying her brothers were and how erratic her mother acted over the summer.

"Hey, Enid?" Y/N queries, her eyebrows knitting together as she thought over the question she wanted to ask.

"Yeah?" Enid hums, looking up from the piece of neon pink saltwater taffy that she was unwrapping, before successfully freeing the sweet from its wax paper prison, and popping it in her mouth.

"You always talk about your mom, and your brothers, but what about your dad?" Y/N asks, unsure if the topic was okay to mention. Y/N had met Enid's dad... Well. More saw him, neither of the girls were very happy to introduce each other to their parents since they were previously exhausted from staying up all night studying, so neither of them ever exchanged any words.

"My dad? He's a cool, down-to-earth sorta guy. He doesn't talk a lot though, mostly out working and stuff" Enid shrugs, wrinkling her nose when the taffy stuck to her molars and her canines, (much like a pitbull that got into a jar of peanut butter) and Y/N couldn't contain her laughter.

Y/N nods with a small hum, and Enid perked up. "What about your mom? I haven't met her yet." She hums, still struggling to free her teeth from the sticky confines of the taffy. Y/N thought for a moment, before giving a soft smile, adjusting her bag on her shoulder.

"My moms cool. It's just me and her, so we do our best to get along." She nods, the warm smile remaining on her lips. Enid nods with a little hum, licking the rest of the taffy off of her teeth before looking up as the two stepped foot into their first class.

Y/N could /feel/ the mischievous grin that spread across Enid's mouth, watching as he friend scurried off to go sit next to a vampire girl that Y/N didn't know well. She looked around, and her heart sunk. There was only one open seat, and it was next to the one person she's been avoiding. Ajax Petropolus.

She took a shaky breath, fighting every instinct she had not to go intangible, but rather settled with semi-tangible, her form flickering. Ajax didn't notice at first, he was too busy staring at his phone, the screen blank. Honestly Y/N just assumed that he was stoned, it wouldn't surprise her.

The teacher walked in, beginning to drawl on about some sort of history lecture, something that Y/N had no interest in, especially not while Ajax was sitting so close to her. She had never even been within 3 feet of the boy, much less sitting directly next to him.

She sat in silence, until she heard him give a soft sigh. "I.. Sorry. I haven't been paying attention, what are we going over again?" He asks, his voice barely over a whisper, a rough ish tone sliding from a smoke burnt throat. Y/N's breath caught slightly in her throat, mustering up whatever little courage she had to answer. "Uh... Normie History I think, World War 3 and whatever misfits fought in it" She nods, glancing over at him, watching as a small snake slowly slipped out from under his beanie, sneaking a curious glance towards the girl.

"Ah, cool. Okay, thanks" he nods, before offering a hand out to her, which Y/N shook, doing her best to make sure she stayed tangible, despite the butterflies in her stomach. "I'm Ajax" he says, with a small smile that made Y/N's heart melt. "Y/N" she smiles.

Part 2 is done!

Again, sorry it took so long, I've been swamped with work and school. Will have the new part up soon!

[sunshine304]

Another Fanbinding Post!

My latest project was @dragongirlg-fics's “Don’t Forget” and now that the gift copy has arrived, I can finally post about it! :D I read this fic very early on when I came into the fandom and it’s been in the back of my mind ever since. When I was suddenly hit with an idea for the case design, I decided to spontaneously do this binding because the idea was taking up too much headspace. XD

My camera always struggles with capturing the blue of this particular paper, and that ribbon is silver silk.

I’d also gotten it into my head that I wanted illustrations for the chapter headers and so I went and drew them myself. I hadn’t drawn in forever and it’s not like I was ever really great at it, but I think they turned out well enough.

I also drew the title picture to resemble the painting mentioned in the fic, though I couldn’t do the watercolours as I didn’t have the right paper for that. A bit of editing in Photoshop it was, then.

It was the first time I tried a three piece bradle binding and the paper for the case fought me a lot… My copy has some wrinkles and stuff because of it, as the way the case is assembled did not sit well with the paper. It might also be that I didn’t let the paper rest enough after putting the paste on, IDK.

I did all the case titling and decorations with a hot foil pen and that fought me, too, as all those parts that needed colouring in didn’t work so well on the first try. Second time worked better, at least, as did the cover assembly in general, as I now knew what to look out for.

That second time around, for dragongirlG's copy, I also pressed the shit out of those case boards after I'd glued the paper on. XD

With the case design, I wanted to lean a bit into the bunny theme of the fic, because those bunnies show up all the time. :D There's a lovely, important Chinese quote as well that seemed to fit onto the back cover (and OMG I'm so happy that I managed to write it straight! XD).

The typeset wasn’t too difficult, overall, though Open Office did annoy me at the beginning as it refused to format the pages correctly, which led to me just deleting the whole thing and starting over. XD

There are some things that didn't work out perfectly, like a crease in the endpaper that should not have been there. But luckily, the pattern on the paper kinda hides that. XD My copy also has some little hot foil smears here and there because OMG people, I was really struggling there. XD

Overall, though, I’m really pleased with how this book turned out! I added the silk ribbon on the cover because I felt like there was something missing with all that dark blue… It also meant going hunting for the right silver ribbon. XD

Materials used:

Printed on Clairefontaine DCP 100g (long grain)

Case + endpapers:

- booklinen Brillianta - Efalin paper - French marbled paper 120g - hot foil (on brand)

[lordofdragos]

BIG TEXT POST PART 4

Oogh I should really be copy and pasting this part or something... Anyway! This post is about me playing through In Stars and Time, and I highly recommend you do not look if you haven't played the game before! If you think you may at any point play the game DO NOT LOOK BELOW

Is this actually helping...? Aren't we kinda robbing the person of their agency Like they haven't given it to them yet... Oh well. Love wins!

This is one of my favorite dialogues!!!

This picture part is gonna ruin me at some point I already know

uH I swear this dialogue wasn't like this Didn't they like its small face or something? OH OF COURSE I ACTUALLY HAVE TO HIT IT FIRST SO THEY CAN SEE IT OF COURSE ACTUAL LOGIC I THOUGHT I WAS GOING INSANE HELP WHY DOES THIS GAME GET EVERY DETAIL RIGHT ARGHFDGF

The game does the time blip thing when you open the door to the keyknife but Don't I need that…? I can't just open up the doors up when I loop right I always start at Dormont because I'm a weirdo but Then I wouldn't be able to get the stone… right…? Hrngh… might have to use game mechanics at some point… lame…

Bathroom conversation huh because I'm not cheering to myself? Sure . . . Ah. I'm pretty blind aren't I. That... makes a lot of little things fit.

OH GOD THE MUSIC STOPPED AGAIN WAS COMING BACK HERE A MISTAKE OF COURSE ITS HERS AND WE MADE FUN OF IT DAMNIT EVERY TIME MAN

That's the spirit!

Sif says something when they sharpen? It's the name isn't it I SEE THE PIECES BUT I CANT PUT THEM TOGETHER YET ARGH THE CARVING TOOLS ARENT HERE ARE THEY The party looking at Sif run around like a maniac looking for the carving tools room (it ain't here) then calling Loop It's Joever Well King time I guess The shield should still help right?

Oh yeah Claude is Mirabelle's roommate I was right!

I have fought so many battles so definitely enough for them to notice and for it to not be weird honestly

I can... not take the fritters...? That would destroy Bonnie I think GAH THIS GAME THE TASTE IS ALREADY FADING FOR SIF ITS SO OVER

DOES HE THOUGH?? ODILE EVEN KNOWS I MEAN I GUESS THAT MEANS HE IS IN TUNE WITH THEM JUST NOT ACTING ON THEM BUT-

. . . I'm asking.

Yeah so he's talking about that huh...

bro? I can't do that?

Yeah ok you need that shield like 100% uptime it does so much less damage and you will instantly die without it

G-Good? Anxiety meter rising... Let's keep that shield up no need to save my very large amount of salty broths anymore

BONNIE STOP TALKING SHIT THE KING IS GONNA NOTICE YOU I should probably break this tears...

I mean There is a point there A bad point but it kinda exists Like when Mirabelle mentioned how her friend at least had their dog with them so they'd be happy This is giving me chills man I don't feel good OH WAIT THATS NOT LIKE A PHILOSOPHICAL DEBATE THATS A HINT TO USE THE SHIELD AGAIN How do I function sometimes honestly?

also uh Stars.

No music.

NEVERMIND HYPE MUSIC THE GAME IS GONNA RUIN IT SOMEHOW THOUGH TAKIN BETS!

I suddenly feel like I should get a new real life hobby Some change can't hurt I guess...

The King is gonna punt Bonnie like a football that's what I would do in his position

SIF PORTRAIT YOO

ITS HYPE!!!!

Bro if the game is like "Um actually if you were a higher level you would've hit him hard enough and won" I will have words

He was talking about that huh... HOW DOES IT ALL CONNECT

ACHIEVEMENT GET!

Alright one final post after this one

[canmom]

a journal type post

i visited some of my grandparents today. I'll give their names, Jenny and Rick, since i doubt that's enough to be PII and it's hard to talk otherwise.

i haven't been able to see them in a long time, thanks to the pandemic. Rick is... likely pretty close to dying, and Jenny is also definitely struggling at this point.

of my four grandads (lots of divorcing and remarrying on both sides of the family) Rick was always the one that i had the hardest time with. he would be brusque and overbearing at the best of times, and cross lines at the worst, and the older i got i felt like he really stifled my granny, in their very traditional middle class marriage. but he's mellowed out a lot (both of them have really), and i found it much easier to spend time with him today, despite a ton of other stuff weighing on me.

we got to talking about books. it's funny, this is something I've never thought to connect with him on, even though he evidently reads a lot. he was very happy to tell me about his favourite authors, in a way that was so sweet and like. i honestly quickly lost a lot of that resentment i had felt towards him in the past. so i went home with my arms full of RF Delderfield and Barbara Erskine, and this prompted my granny to add on her favourites by Katherine Lynn Davis.

they're all historical novels of one sort or another, a long way outside my usual zone of literature. Delderfield writes about long duration social history revolving around the British people going through social change, his central character usually a young man returning from a war. at my age, my grandad had just left the RAF - i don't believe he fought in WWII, it might have been the period when National Service (conscription by another name...) was still in effect after the war and the UK geared itself up for the Cold War, but he stayed in for twelve years, apparently not enough to get a pension, leaving due to some kind of complications around a divorce that I didn't quite follow. he became a salesman - selling cardboard boxes I think? there's a lot I'm vague on. anyway, he's very fond of Delderfield, and it has something to do with Delderfield's prose, the particular feeling of Englishness it gives, but also the historical details - one of Delderfield's series charts the rise of motor transport in the UK, which I won't lie, I'm easily enough of a nerd to be curious about.

Erskine's books seem to follow a different template. just going by the blurbs, the general structure seems to be that a young woman in modern England is haunted by a connection to another woman a thousand years in the past, suffering under court politics or the witch trials or similar. so again, the theme of the past bearing on the present. Davis, i only have a couple of books so can't generalise, but this one's about three women from different parts of the world (Scotland, China and India) drawn together for a lot of high drama in the 1800s. the sequel seems to be about their descendants. it could be really cool or it could be awkwardly racist or it could be awkwardly racist but still interesting as an artefact of a time (...the late 80s), who knows. and this is all just... cursory examination of the blurbs.

all of these books are full-on doorstoppers. they're also... completely unknown to me, which is probably an indictment of how narrowly i tend to stick to my genre. not that there's a moral obligation to read widely, but it's good to be aware at least. anyway...

I kind of wear on my sleeve that my feelings about "Englishness" and "Britishness", the egregore, the entity that lays claim to me, are very negative. today I also watched an episode of the new BBC show about the founding of the SAS, with snappy action movie dialogue and expensive CGI and a pointedly anachronistic classic rock soundtrack, with the depressing feeling you get when you watch well executed propaganda. hard not to think about the release of this piece about the sacrifices of a roguish, brave, witty SAS coinciding with an ailing farce of a Conservative government and the death of the one (inexplicably) well-loved symbol of the British state, all that jazz. (coincidences - this had to have been in the works for some time - but still).

anyway. so... the idea of the spirit of the British people is liable to make me break out in a rash. don't tell me about that, tell me about the idea of "britishness" being replicated forcefully through history, imposed on successive generations, an eternal reproductive futurism motivating all manner of atrocity. so i feel like... if what people say about Delderfield is true, I might find it... challenging.

i am nevertheless curious about all three of these authors! not just a way to connect with my grandad in what could easily be his last year on this planet, though there... there is that. but also that social history angle... for all my bluster about how much I dislike this country, it's more that I dislike the idea of countries altogether, and having to belong to one. and on some level, a severe case of don't-lump-me-in-with-them-ism. knee-jerk anti-patriotism.

but reflexive loathing is no more revealing than comforting fantasies of national character. both of them assume a 'thing' into existence. finding loopholes to be like... well i like such and such British author but I have a defence of how they're acceptably critical of the country so it's ok, that's cheap.

what I do like is having at least some idea of how things got to be the way they are. I can't help being from here, so I could at least stand to understand 'here' a little better. around a decade ago, I walked back from Exeter's gender identity clinic with an older trans woman who could tell me when a bridge was made by looking at its materials. that's so neat that I still remember it! in the garden of the shared house in London where I rent a room was a stone disc with icons of the USSR on it. why was that there? the weight of the machine of history is overwhelming, Marx was right to call it a nightmare, but it is interesting. you can't just stop at 'this sucks'.

so if the ways of thinking that prevailed in the past were very different, they certainly aren't unrecognisable; it does no good to try to set myself above them and imagine I'm more enlightened. and like, that's just all my baggage anyway. i don't want to be unfair to any of these authors, and miss what my grandparents valued in them. (I'm too tired to look up Engels but I recall he had something interesting to say about a well written bourgeois novel.)

anyway, like i said, they're doorstoppers, and i still have like a third of Worth the Candle to read, so don't expect detailed comments for a little while. but it was eye opening in a way, it's too easy to remain blinkered in your little corner and box off the rest as something you'd have no interest in. i know where I'm at with sff and comics, but on some level i find the 'general fiction' shelves intimidating, with no idea where to start or the codes being deployed, and that's limiting. anyway I'll let you know what i think. eventually.