#this post was hell...I wrote all of it and accidently delete it

[merymoonbeam]

The Morrigan Part II.

This is a continuation of my post The Morrigan. In that post I talked about how Mor could be the High Queen. In this post we are gonna talk about her connection to Wild Hunt.

I went to look a the Morrigan's wiki page and found this.

It has also been suggested that she was closely linked to the fianna, and that these groups may have been in some way dedicated to her. These were "bands of youthful warrior-hunters, living on the borders of civilized society and indulging in lawless activities for a time before inheriting property and taking their places as members of settled, landed communities." If true, her worship may have resembled that of Perchta groups in Germanic areas.

we are gonna talk about two things in here -- Fianna and Perchta.

Fianna:

while I was writing my Wild Hunt post I found out that Fionn and Fianna are the wild hunt in Ireland.

and We have a Fionn in Acotar.

Rhys’s eyes flicked to Ataraxia, then to Cassian. “Some strains of the mythology claim that one of the Fae heroes who rose up to overthrow them was Fionn, who was given the great sword Gwydion by the High Priestess Oleanna, who had dipped it into the Cauldron itself. Fionn and Gwydion overthrew the Daglan. A millennium of peace followed, and the lands were divided into rough territories that were the precursors to the courts—but at the end of those thousand years, they were at each other’s throats, on the brink of war.” His face tightened. “Fionn unified them and set himself above them as High King. The first and only High King this land has ever had.”

So the Morrigan is linked to Fianna which is the wild hunt and we have a Fionn in acotar who has the same name of the leader of wild hunt.

now onto...

Perchta:

Perchta or Berchta (English: Bertha), also commonly known as Percht and other variations, was once known as a goddess in Alpine paganism in the Upper German and Austrian regions of the Alps. Her name may mean "the bright one" (Old High German: beraht, bereht, from Proto-Germanic *berhtaz) and is probably related to the name Berchtentag, meaning the feast of the Epiphany. Eugen Mogk provides an alternative etymology, attributing the origin of the name Perchta to the Old High German verb pergan, meaning "hidden" or "covered". Perchta is often identified as stemming from the same Germanic goddess as Holda and other female figures of Germanic folklore (see Frija-Frigg). According to Jacob Grimm and Lotte Motz, Perchta is Holda's southern cousin or equivalent, as they both share the role of "guardian of the beasts" and appear during the Twelve Days of Christmas, when they oversee spinning.

so she is connected to Holda(keep the red highlighted Frija/Frigg part in mind we are gonna talk about that) and with that they both share the role of "guardian of the beasts"

We have beasts in acotar, in Wild Hunt actually.

“Oh, I do not think so,” Lanthys seethed. “I rode in the Wild Hunt before you were even a scrap of existence, witch from Oorid. I summoned the hounds and the world cowered at their baying. I galloped at the head of the Hunt, and Fae and beast bowed before us.”

“We shall rebuild to what we were before the golden legions of the Fae cast off their chains and overthrew us. We shall resurrect the Wild Hunt and ride rampant through the night. We shall build palaces of ice and flame, palaces of darkness and starlight. Magic shall flow untethered again.” Nesta could see the portrait Lanthys wove into the air around them. She saw herself on a black throne, a matching crown in her unbound hair. Enormous onyx beasts—scaled, like those she’d seen on the Hewn City’s pillars—lay at the foot of the dais. Ataraxia leaned against her throne, and on her other side … Lanthys sat there, his hand laced through hers. Their kingdom was endless; their palace built of pure magic that lived and thrived around them. The Harp sat behind them on an altar, the Mask, too, but the golden Crown wasn’t there.

“The Daglan delighted in terrorizing the Fae and humans under their control. The Wild Hunt was a way to keep all of us in line. They’d gather a host of their fiercest, most merciless warriors and grant them free rein to kill as they pleased. The Daglan possessed mighty, monstrous beasts—hounds, they called them, though they didn’t look like the hounds we know—that they used to run prey to ground before they tortured and killed them. It’s a terrible history, and much of it might be elaborated myths.” “The hounds looked like the beasts in the Hewn City,” Nesta said quietly.

so Hounds/beasts= The Wild Hunt and through Pertcha The Morrigan is connected to the "guardian of the beasts"

moving on...

This next part is interesting.

In some descriptions, Perchta has two forms; she may appear either as beautiful and white as snow like her name, or as elderly and haggard. In many old descriptions, Perchta had one large foot, sometimes called a goose foot or swan foot. Grimm thought the strange foot symbolized her being a higher being who could shapeshift to animal form. He noticed that Bertha with a strange foot exists in many languages (Middle German "Berhte mit dem fuoze", French "Berthe au grand pied", Latin "Berhta cum magno pede", Italian " Berta dai gran piè", title of a medieval epic poem of Italian area): "It is apparently a swan maiden's foot, which as a mark of her higher nature she cannot lay aside...and at the same time the spinning-woman's splayfoot that worked the treadle".In the Tyrol she appears as little old woman with a very wrinkled face, bright lively eyes, and a long hooked nose; her hair is disheveled, her garments tattered and torn.

I talked about Swan maiden in my Seidr post.

In myths Frejya/Frigg(remember the red highlighted part) has seidr magic and Freyja also has:

Freyja is the owner of the necklace Brísingamen, rides a chariot pulled by two cats, is accompanied by the boar Hildisvíni, and possesses a cloak of falcon feathers.

And swan maidens:

The swan maiden is a mythical creature who shapeshifts from human form to swan form. The key to the transformation is usually a swan skin, or a garment with swan feathers attached. In folktales of this type, the male character spies the maiden, typically by some body of water (usually bathing), then snatches away the feather garment (or some other article of clothing), which prevents her from flying away (or swimming away, or renders her helpless in some other manner), forcing her to become his wife.

So they have a "swan skin" with swan feathers which helps them shapeshift.

The question is...is Mor going to turn into a bird like the girls in Koschei's lake? Is she connected to Vassa? And more interesting thing is that in myths The Morrigan can shapeshift--into a crow.

The Morrígan is described as the envious wife of The Dagda and a shape-shifting goddess, while Badb and Nemain are said to be the wives of Neit. She is associated with the banshee of later folklore.

The Dagda...The Daglan in acotar who has the hounds and they had the Wild Hunt....

The Morrígan is mainly associated with war and fate, especially with foretelling doom, death, or victory in battle. In this role she often appears as a crow, the badb.

and lastly from Pertcha's page.

According to Jacob Grimm (1882), Perchta was spoken of in Old High German in the 10th century as Frau Berchta and thought to be a white-robed goddess who oversaw spinning and weaving, like the myths of Holda. He believed she was the feminine equivalent of Berchtold, and was sometimes the leader of the Wild Hunt.

Now I'm gonna talk more about Mor connection to Wild Hunt in acotar and some connections.

While talking about the hounds I took Lanthys's quotes. He was a part of the Wild Hunt.

“Oh, I do not think so,” Lanthys seethed. “I rode in the Wild Hunt before you were even a scrap of existence, witch from Oorid. I summoned the hounds and the world cowered at their baying. I galloped at the head of the Hunt, and Fae and beast bowed before us.”

But what is Lanyths actually? Cassian gives us this information. He is a First God.

Cassian took a bite of food. A good sign that this, at least, was acceptable territory. “When you lived in the human world, you had legends of the dread beasts and faeries who would slaughter you if they ever breached the wall, didn’t you? Things that slithered through open windows to drink the blood of children? Things that were so wicked, so cruel there was no hope against their evil?” The hair on her neck rose. “Yes.” Those stories had always unnerved and petrified her. “They were based on truth. Based on ancient, near-primordial beings who existed here before the High Fae split into courts, before the High Lords. Some call them the First Gods. They were beings with almost no physical form, but a keen, vicious intelligence. Humans and Fae alike were their prey. Most were hunted and driven into hiding or imprisonment ages ago. But some remained, lurking in forgotten corners of the land.” He swallowed another mouthful. “When I was nearing three hundred years old, one of them appeared again, crawling out of the roots of a mountain. Before he went into the Prison and confinement weakened him, Lanthys could turn into wind and rip the air from your lungs, or turn into rain and drown you on dry land; he could peel your skin from your body with a few movements. He never revealed his true form, but when I faced him, he chose to appear as swirling mist. He fathered a race of faeries that still plague us, who thrived under Amarantha’s reign—the Bogge. But the Bogge are lesser, mere shadows compared to Lanthys. If there is such a thing as evil incarnate, it is him. He has no mercy, no sense of right or wrong. There is him, and there is everyone else, and we are all his prey. His methods of killing are creative and slow. He feasts on fear and pain as much as the flesh itself.”(acosf)

So we learn quiet a few things from this quote.

Lantys is a first god.

First gods were near-primordial beings who existed before the High Fae split into courts, before the high lords.

They were beings with almost no physical form, but a keen, vicious intelligence.

But some First gods remained, lurking in forgotten corners of the land.”

Now how this connects to Mor? The Mor's acofas chapter.

In Mor's chapter we have this:

But Mor scented nothing, saw nothing. The tendril of power she speared toward the woods revealed only the usual birds and small beasts. A hart drinking from a hole in an iced-over stream. Nothing, except—.There, between a snarl of thorns. A patch of darkness. It did not move, did not seem to do anything but linger. And watch. Familiar and yet foreign. Something in her power whispered not to touch it, not to go near it. Even from this distance. Mor obeyed. But she still watched that darkness in the thorns, as if a shadow had fallen asleep amongst them. Not like Azriel’s shadows, twining and whispering. Something different. Something that stared back, watching her in turn. Best left undisturbed. Especially with the promise of a crackling fire and glass of wine at home. “Let’s take the short route back,” she murmured to Ellia, patting her neck. The horse needed no further encouragement before launching into a gallop, turning them from the woods and its shadowy watcher. Over and between the hills they rode, until the woods were hidden in the mists behind them. What else might she see, witness, in lands where none in the Night Court had ventured for millennia?(acofas)

She sees a shadows... and what we know about the first gods? with almost no physical form.

It stares back at her, watching her...and what we know about the first gods? but a keen, vicious intelligence.

She was in the lands where none in the Night Courth had ventured for Millennia... what we know about the first gods? lurking in forgotten corners of the land.

Did she saw a First God? Are there more like it? Why mor was the one to see it? This is where her connection to Wild Hunt comes from? She is connected to Wild Hunt? Maybe she is going to be the leader of the Wild Hunt?

Let's not forget that in Wild Hunt myth there are valkyries.

The Wild Hunt is a folklore motif occurring across various northern European cultures. Wild Hunts typically involve a chase led by a mythological figure escorted by a ghostly or supernatural group of hunters engaged in pursuit. The leader of the hunt is often a named figure associated with Odin in Germanic legends, but may variously be a historical or legendary figure like Theodoric the Great, the Danish king Valdemar Atterdag, the dragon slayer Sigurd, the WelshpsychopompGwyn ap Nudd, biblical figures such as Herod, Cain, Gabriel, or the Devil, or an unidentified lost soul or spirit either male or female. The hunters are generally the souls of the dead or ghostly dogs, sometimes fairies, valkyries, or elves.

and Mor in acosf suggested that she might join them.

Mor’s brows bunched. “So you really are learning Valkyrie techniques.” Nesta nodded. They’d been so busy during their dancing lessons that the details of training hadn’t come up. Mor grinned. “You mind if I start joining you once this business with Vallahan is over? I never got to train with the Valkyries before the first War, and after it, they were all gone.”

So Mor as the leader of the Wild Hunt?

[hcgossips]

Missing Posts

He didn’t seem to prove  any of the narratives related to this circus they tried to push over public opinion. All he did was to play the dude, becoming discredited. And, after all that circus, he apparently, went back to the shell.

Someone here commented he deleted on IG the post he once did about a horse that appeared outside his home in the middle of the night. Someone else, noticed some time ago, he had deleted the post he wrote about Lucy.

Let’s not forget that he has a team taking care of his social media, that nothing is by accident or random and that he said his IG is fictional. These posts were intentionally deleted, if they really disappeared from the page. Lucy’s comment probably was excluded just for a buzz as a diversion.

But, when a second post is missing we start thinking. And, when you realize this started in the beginning of 2021, it rings the bell. I noticed differences between his IG and FB.

When someone here called attention to the missing horse post on IG, I asked: Why would he delete those specific posts? Has he excluded the post on his Facebook as well? Is he trying to send a message? What would it be?

Is he, slowly, creating another personal IG and FB, leaving the ones we know, to professional stuff only? Or he’s just deleting some personal posts for another buzz? So, I decided to take a look.

FB starts Oct 6th, 2016 if I’m not mistaken. And, I noticed the differences between his FB and IG starts in the beginning of 2021. Coincidence? Wasn't that when the news of the shit show came out? I didn’t see on FB the posts commented above, either. What I noticed is that some of the posts showing on his IG ARE NOT ON FB anymore.

I noticed others are missing from FB: the one posted right after the news he had got COVID in which he shows a computer piece photo; the one he is wearing a white rugby shirt and looking miserable as hell; the one he talks about Durrell challange with the lion hat saying he’s still with makeup on his eyes etc…

There are probably others. And, that may indicate the person dealing with FB is not dealing with IG and has no access to all the material released. Or just that he didn’t want to post those on FB. But, if FB is like a copy of his IG, why skip some posts?

This is probably a strategy. The fact different posts are missing in both  FB and IG rings the bell.  I suspect it is a (guilt trip) strategy to make you suppose Cavill is slowly disappearing from his social media. But, and that is more likely, it shows that what remains is job related, as he said his IG is fictional. Especially, if you consider these differences are noticed as of 2021.

So, this circus with Viscuso is, indeed, a PR. But, I’m not the kind with patience to scroll the entire thing. So, there are probably other posts on IG that are missing on FB. I did it a little brief research, for a while,  to write this post. If you are curious and have the time and patience, check it out yourself.

P. S.: The missing posts were noted on FB.

[anem0sis]

evolution

Found this note from June 9th. 2018 (3:11 a.m.) that I wrote. It's interesting to see how these relationships, including the one I had with myself, has evolved in that timeframe. Some things in this feel familiar and relevant now, others not so much: Want to delete it from my phone so I'm posting it here:

I’m sad. I’m really sad. And I don’t see a future for me anymore. I haven’t been the same since the accident, or maybe before that. I’m angry, I’m bitter, I’m irritable and I’m sad. Sometimes I want to push everyone away, I don’t want to deal with social drama especially. I don’t want to deal with Mitchell’s emotional turmoil and him making me feel worse than normal with his strange approach to loving me or not loving me or whatever it is he does. I don’t want to listen to him say ew to my ostomy bag, it makes me feel sad and makes me change my thoughts towards the kind of person he is. I don’t want to deal with him telling me I’m overly sensitive and make my emotions seem not valid. I don’t know what happened, but he was there for me through it all for awhile and then a switch flipped. I think he hates me. Or he wants to hate me. I wonder if he was only ever there for me because he had feelings for me, and now his approach has changed because he hates me now. Why can’t he just be here for me as my friend? I want him to be here for me as my friend. He’s my best friend. If I hurt him somehow for not loving him the way he wanted, I can’t apologize for that. Nobody’s entitled to my love. But I just want my friend. We’re all different now though, I guess. It’s been a weird year.

I tell Logan everything, he’s the only one who knows how much I’m hurting, I think. He knows when I’m up at night and I have breakdowns because I tell him. Some detail, but not a full explanation,And he doesn’t act on it, but he has his moments where he shows his care and I think he knows how I’m feeling better than he let’s on. I know sometimes he thinks I’m a nut, and he isn’t empathetic at all but he has his moments and I am appreciative of those moments.  

I really need someone, but nobody’s understands. This has taken 8 months away from me, and so little has happened but nothing has at all. I don’t feel like me anymore, and I want to say I don’t want to die. But I just don’t see a path anymore. I don’t know what to do, I can’t really do anything. I just wait. I’m scared of any more complications and nobody knows what hell im trying to endure. And I can’t work on my social stuff, the drama with Mitchell and anyone else, I can’t because I’m too focused on my sadness and my anger and my fear and I don’t see my future so what’s the point in trying to show people my perspective when they’re too damn stubborn and caught up in their own emotions, too? I don’t want to hurt anyone. Especially my friends.

Lillie and Anna are the femininity I need, I’m not really close with anyone anymore. I’m probably closest with Logan in the sense that we talk everyday. But him and Mitchell mean the world to me. The absolute world. I don’t think I can be as close with anyone as I am with them, they’ve been with me through the roughest time of my life. Idk what Mitchell is going through with me, but all I can hope is it gets resolved. Idk. He doesn’t open up much. I don’t think I can do anything to help, I think he needs to work through it on his own. That’s been a huge concern to me since the accident, I don’t know, he’s my best friend idk what else to say, I don’t want our friendship to end but I feel like it will if whatever is going on doesn’t stop.

But. I don’t want to worry about that right now, I need to worry about healing. Idk if that’s alright with him. I think about where we stand a lot. 

I only have a few people left. 

 I can barely even get words onto a notepad anymore. I’ve been saying so much to everyone but I feel like a broken record and I can’t really express what I’m feeling or not feeling. 

I hate my life. I would hate myself but I don’t know who I am anymore. The only thing I know is I’m terrified. 

I thought I’d stop being terrified after that night, but the fear has just increased. I’m so unstable. My emotions are a rollercoaster. I don’t know stability anymore. I don’t know anything anymore. 

[fbfh]

Tate Langdon dating hcs

wc: 1.4k

warnings/content: discussions of yandere behavior and how tate differs from that, general obsessive/codependant tendancies bc it's tate, optional creative arts!reader

pairing: Tate x gn reader (no pronouns/gendered descriptions)

a/n: tate is a babyboy who needs to be kissed on his forehead right fucking now yes I know what he did I'm not taking criticism on this. also I just posted this by accident and had to completely delete and reformat it so if you saw that no you didn't

EDIT: I finished coven and realized I used a gif of Kyle and Zoe instead of Tate and Violet which has now been fixed. I cannot keep these blonde boys straight.

Okay so I don’t even want call this a yandere fic bc this is just about Tate in the source material so I don’t want to label him a full out yandere

But like

He kind of is

The other reason I don’t necessarily want to give him the yandere label is bc most of the time (from what I’ve read at least) yanderes usually don’t have their darling’s best interest at heart/can be okay with them being hurt or in danger

That shit would NEVER fly with Tate

I wrote a whole drabble about this but I know a lot of people have said Tate would kill you so you can be in the house with him forever

Yandere!Tate, yes

Regular Tate?? Hell no!!

There’s an element of selflessness that Tate possesses that gives him an important distinction from the yandere archetype

Because a lot of times yanderes want their darlings all for themselves

They want to be their darling’s only one, which can manifest in very selfish motivations

But Tate?????

Tate cares about your feelings more than his

And he’s proved this by acting selflessly for your benefit over and over 

Even when there is literally zero chance for him to get anything out of it

He doesn’t care

Because his motivations regarding you are genuinely selfless 

You are his priority, point blank period

Because Tate is…. Very dedicated

The thing with him is that when he latches onto you 

He’s on for eternity

Not just for life bc he’s kind of an immortal ghost

He’ll be with you until you decide you don’t want him there anymore

And even then

He’s still going to love you just as much as he does now forever

Like he’s really not one to halfass anything

Especially how he feels about someone

Because he usually either doesn’t give a fuck about them or cares too much

He cares too much about pleasing all the women in the house

He cares too much about trying to make Nora happy, gain her approval and praise

And then there’s you

He either doesn’t give a fuck about someone, cares too much, or in your case, might end up deeply obsessed with and dogmatically devoted to you

Which he is

Honestly all it took was a few days before his heart was in your hands

You probably didn’t even realize for a while just how into you he is

But by the time he’s openly confessing his love for you

By the time he’s telling you that he would never let anyone or anything hurt you

That he cares about your feelings more than his

That he’s never felt this way about someone before

You have a pretty good idea of where he’s at

He doesn’t hide his feelings from you after that, he doesn’t think he could if he tried

Tate is hopelessly devoted to you

There’s no other way to describe it

We know he’s clingy

We know he’s affectionate

We know he’s a switchy bottom with raging mommy issues

We’ve established that

And you could tell all of that since you met him

But when he really lays his heart at your feet

When he really finds himself fully committed to you

That’s when all that in theory becomes in practice

When days go by and he’s glued to your side the whole time

Even just lingering nearby while you’re brushing your teeth or making food 

That’s when you realize that he really really just likes being your lapdog 

He loves it

He loves when you give him casual affection, he loves when you rest your hand on his back or brush hair out of his eyes

And he fucking loves when you use him as a reward or break from other tasks you have to do

Every time your little study timer goes off, you drop what you’re doing and run right over to pull him in for a kiss

He’s already thrown his arms around you

You just make out for like ten minutes until you have to start studying again

If it’s not for something super important he absolutely will try to distract you by kissing your neck and squeezing your waist

If it is super important or a subject you struggle in, he’ll help you study

He doesn’t want to stop kissing you, but he will

Because he knows how important this is to you

So he’ll pull away and start reading you flashcards 

And like

He’ll be happy to do it

He won’t complain or be upset

He won’t have anything else he’d rather be doing

Tate Langdon took “if he wanted to he would” and fucking ran with it

Oh my god

And god help you if you do anything artistic or creative

Because as soon as he finds out that you’re an artist or a writer or an actor or musician or singer or dancer or sewist

Or literally anything else

It will once again alter his brain chemistry

The second you start showing him your art or writing or songs

It fucking changes him

Like

The weight and significance of the renaissance and every major artistic movement and cultural moment ever influenced by the arts is now residing in you

That’s how he feels

He takes one look at what you do and he gets it

He never really cared until now

But jesus fucking christ everything you do needs to be in a museum

Sometimes you see him just staring at your art or rereading your writing and poetry or flipping through your sketchbooks

Watching videos of you in musicals or plays or dance recitals 

Because when he sees the world the way you do

Whatever medium that might be through

Everything makes sense

He understands it, and he feels understood

He feels like you’re talking to him through your art

He feels a sense of peace, tranquility

If you think he couldn’t put you up on an even higher pedestal

Surprise

Not only are you the greatest person in the world

But you’re also an artistic genius 

There’s this deep sense of like

Privilege he feels to see everything you’re creating right now 

Even just your diary entries, the way you shape words, the flow of your stream of consciousness is so beautiful

He watches you so much more closely now, seeing the way you dance in your everyday movements

The way you channel and portray characters so flawlessly when you’re telling him about your day and the drama that happened at school

He could spend days looking through the boxes and albums of photos you’ve taken

He probably has

Because there’s no way to be closer to you than taking in these organic, raw forms of passion and self expression

He can’t get enough of it

Tate is dedicated to you

Not only as your boyfriend

But as your number one fan

Even if you’re not as creative

He still believes you have the best taste of anyone he’s ever met hands down

The books you like, the shows and movies you watch together

Even your music taste

Tate hasn’t liked a single song that’s been released after 1994

Until you handed him a pair of headphones and said you think he’ll like this

You sat him down and listened to the entirety of the black parade by my chemical romance

The whole album

And it changed his whole worldview 

Yet again, one move and you’ve altered his brain chemistry 

Even with other stuff he wouldn’t normally like

He likes it because you like it

He’ll watch Love Island and 90 Day Fiance with you for hours and love every minute of it

He loves feeling close to you, he loves that you want to share things you enjoy with him

He especially loves after a while when you’re starting to get kind of sleepy 

Because you look so soft and adorable like that

But also because he knows he can put his head in your lap and you’ll play with  his hair

You’ll run your fingers through his soft hair and scratch his back

And he feels so close to you

Which is all he ever wants

It’s always going to be you you you

And right now, he has exactly what he wants

[just-the-hiddles]

Writer’s Spotlight | Birthday Edition | just-the-hiddles

I promise, I will not do this again.  But Writer’s Spotlight this week happens to be my birthday and I want to play too!  And since I run the post, I can’t really sign up for it.  So you are stuck with me today.  But next week, another amazing writer (someone I am certain who is more talented than me) will be featured. 

The Basics

Any other names you want people to call you?

Liz or JTH, if you are my Magnus Anon, Mistress or Baby Girl

How long have you been writing fic?

I started posting fic on Tumblr at the end of 2018. But I wrote things on and off since junior high (so the 90s).

What fandoms and/ships do you write?

Tom Hiddleston fandom and all that goes with that, MCU fandom, and the one random Kingsman fic. 

How did you get started writing fic?

So in 6th grade we had to write either a play or script and I picked my favorite show at the time, Star Trek: The Next Generation.  From there, I have always made up stories in my head.  Finally decided to write them down.

Story Recommendations

Which of your stories are your favorite?

This is like picking a favorite child.  It has to be Meeting Your Heroes, Follow My Lead, and Slow Hands.  All Tom fics.  

Which story are you most proud of?

Do Not Disturb.  I put in so much research for that.  I am super proud how it turned out.  

Which of your stories do you think is the most underrated?

Can I say any of my Luke Windsor Companion fics?  I think Luke is an amazing character.  He is a perfect comedic foil and I love putting him through hell with Tom.  

Someone is new to reading your stories, which story/stories should they read first?

For Tom, Slow Hands.  It has everything.  For Loki, I would recommend Destiny Has Other Plans.  And if you like any other character, just grab a story and go!

Which Story did you do the most research for?

Do Not Disturb.  I usually do some research for a fic but I put a lot into that one.  Also Follow My Lead.  And this unfinished Sharpe WIP.  

Which Story was the easiest to write?

Accidently Married.  I wrote a chapter a day for eight days and got it done. The story flowed.  

The Writing Process

What is your favorite part of writing? 

Watching the ideas in my head come to life.  

What is your least favorite part?

EDITING!  And all the admin that goes into posting a story.  So tedious.

Describe your style in 1 to 2 sentences.

Fluffy smut with a heavy dash of humor.  Coupled with witty banter and minimal description.

Who are some of your writing idols and/or influences?

Neil Gaiman, Aaron Sorkin (his dialogue kills!).  All of my writer friends here on Tumblr.  I could gush but I would leave someone out and feel just awful, but I have friends who can describe a scene so vivid I don’t need to close my eyes, friends who evoke such emotion that I cry or laugh at the same time, friends who make OCs that I would die for.  They are all so talented.

What programs do you use to write and/or edit?

I write in a program called Dabble Writer.  I got it in beta one Nanowrimo and now I get it for free forever.  I edit with ProWritingAid.  It is a lifesaver.  

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Somewhere in between.  I usually have an outline for series, but I pants one shots.

Do you write RPF or not?

Yep.  I have currently written Chris Evans and Tom Hiddleston RPF.

Who is your favorite character to write and why?

Tom, hands down.  He can be so many things.  Soft and sweet.  Sexy and smoldering.  Funny, sad.  He is a lot of fun to play with.  

What do you think are your writing strengths?

DIALOGUE!  I can write witty banter really well.  And humor.  I love adding humor to my stories because real life is so funny, fictional life should be too.

What do you struggle with?

Descriptions.  I swear things are happening in a white room sometimes.

Favorite Trope

One Bed Left and Fake Dating.  I love them combined in a holiday fic.

Favorite word to use

Darling.

What is the best piece of writing advice you have heard?

Never delete anything.  I keep trash files for all my series.  You never know when you might need something.

What would you say to a new fanfic writer starting out?

The comparison game is the quickest way to kill your joy.  Everyone started small.  Consistency is key. If it is not a “Hell yes” then it is a “no.” Never compromise.  Hard work pays off.

What is a random bit of research you have not managed to work into a fic yet?

I did a ton of research on the high society of New York and the families involved plus all the balls.  Oh and courtship practices.  One day I will fit it all in a Sharpe fic.  

What is your favorite random detail from one of your stories?

Oooo, I love all the little details in Meeting Your Heroes.  The pen pouch, planner, and phone case were all based on my real life items at the time.  Which by the way, people do always see the naked Tom first.

Any goals or WIPs you want to share?

I have a bunch of WIPs sitting in my program.  Loki meeting Shakespeare, Adam and Eve in New Orleans, Loki married with a food blog battling his enemies, Adam and Charlie’s next chapter. A Priest!Loki one shot.  Single Dad Tom.  So many.  I can’t decide what to work on next.  

This or That

Fluff or Angst

Smut AND Fluff

Reader Insert  AND OC (I prefer OCs for series and reader inserts for one shots)

One shots or series

Canon Divergent or AU

Pepsi or Coke

Coffee or Tea

Sweet AND Savory

Final Thoughts...

Thanks for all the support I have gotten from everyone.  LOVE YOU ALL!!

[speuradair]

Trauma |Dabi

(Author’s Note- This is a reupload of a fic I posted yesterday. I thought about it and decided that the ending sucked, so I deleted it and re-wrote the ending. Here is the new, revised and hopefully better version!)

Word Count: 1.8k

Contains: ptsd comfort, trauma description, night terrors, slight violence (unintentional), allusion to assault and abuse, swearing, Dabi is Todoroki Touya theory

Requested: No (I’m just projecting lmao)

-

Among the two of you, Dabi was the scary one. He was the one that kept you up at night with anxiety about his villain work. He was the one who came home bloodied and beaten, and he was the one that would disappear for days on end. He was the stressful one. But there were times that you scared the absolute life out of him. Tonight was one of those times. 

Dabi let himself in as he usually did. The small one bedroom apartment was dark and quiet, save for the soft sound of talking and the flickering light which emanated from the open bedroom doorway into the hall. While part of him had been hoping you'd still be up to greet him, he couldn't deny the sense of peace that washed over him as he stood in the near silence. This tranquility meant that you were safe and asleep, as you should be. He'd never thought domestic life to be quite his style, but he longed for this. He longed to be home where nobody could tell him to do shit. The League of Villains could go screw themselves for all he cared. 

After kicking off his shoes by the door and assuring that he'd locked the door, he followed the soft glow down the hallway like a moth to a flame. Exhaustion had begun to tug at his eyes and his feet moved towards the bed in a seemingly autonomous manner. 

He paused to lean against the doorframe though, his eyes falling on you. 

There was a sight he'd never tire of seeing. You were passed out on top of the duvet in one of his hoodies, while your laptop sat beside you still playing whatever you'd been watching. He grinned to himself ever so slightly as he quietly stepped over to pause it for you. Stripping down to his boxers and shirt, he moved the computer before lowering himself down beside you. 

The bed dipped under his weight and the mattress creaked slightly. Your body jolted a bit beside him, seemingly in response. Though he'd tried not to disturb you, that had been enough to wake you. A soft but nonetheless agitated groan left your slightly parted lips, followed by an equally as quiet remark. 

"Stop."

A pang of guilt washed over him as you stirred; he always tried to come to bed as quietly as possible to not disturb you, especially with you being as jumpy as you were. Though not only had he woken you up, he'd upset you. Your previously still form was now squirming away uncomfortably.

He reached his long arms out for you in an effort to soothe you back to sleep. Usually you found repose in his embrace, but now you only seemed to toss more as he pulled you against his chest. His features tightened in confusion. Were you mad at him or something? 

"Pissy tonight, are we, doll?" He teased.

You didn't answer. That's odd, comments like that always got a reaction from you. 

He let you go, watching as you violently flopped away from him. There was something off about the way you moved. Despite your clear distress, your movements were somehow loose and lethargic. 

 It took him a moment to realize that you weren't actually awake. Shit, you were having another night terror. 

He sat up quickly and shifted towards you, his warm hands wrapping around your shoulders as he tried to wake you up as gently but effectively as possible. 

"Babe." You jerked at his touch, but didn't wake. His heart raced in his chest as he hovered over you protectively. You were just getting more upset. 

Eyes still squeezed shut, you whimpered out. "No, stop it..!"

His heart sank hearing you cry out like that. Dabi was fully aware of what you'd been through; You'd confided in him with all of the nasty details. He knew you had nightmares and anxiety attacks. This wasn't the first time he'd heard about it, but hearing you cry like that, in response to him, made his stomach turn. The fact that you didn't realize it was him did nothing to ease the disgust he felt with himself. 

Genuine fear creeped into his mind. You were just getting more upset. He knew he needed to calm you down, but how was he supposed to do that if he couldn't wake you up without scaring you more? 

Long scarred fingers loosened their grip on your arms. He wasn't sure what to do. You'd had nightmares before, they just usually weren't this bad. 

Memories of his own trauma dreams flooded back to him. How real they felt, how disorienting it was to wake up from them, how the nausea seemed to last through the rest of the night, how he'd randomly remember bits and pieces of the nightmare and the anxiety would come right back- he knew it all too well. Before you, he'd always been on the receiving end of those dreams, never the comforting side. While he'd soothed you before, he never felt confident in doing so. 

As you tried to jolt away from him again, he decided he couldn't take it anymore. 

"Babe! (Name!)"

Your eyes shot open as he shook you again, peering directly into his piercing blue ones. 

But you didn't recognize him. Your subconscious bled into reality.

"Don't fucking touch me!" Before you realized what was happening, your arm had swung up towards your ambiguous attacker, delivering a forceful punch to his face. 

Dabi winced and recoiled a bit, but kept his hold on you and maintained eye contact. 

"(Name) - it's me, it's just me," his voice was firm despite the pain beginning to pulse from his lip.

Slowly the haze of confusion and fear retreated and the immersion of your night terror broke. You recognized that voice.

"D - Dabi?"

"Yeah," he exhaled tightly. "It's just me. You're at home in bed. You're just having a nightmare." He hovered over you slightly, trying to keep your focus solely on him. "Come back to me, dollface." 

He let you breathe for a few moments before speaking again. "Can you name five things around us right now?"

You blinked in an attempt to clear the violent imagery from your mind. The familiar environment around you began to solidify. That's right- you could feel the hot tears on your cheeks, your bed with the new soft sheets you'd gotten last weekend, the fan pushing cool air against your skin. You could see your boyfriend leaning over you and feel his rough fingers on your cheek. You could see his bright blue eyes and.. bloody lip?

Your chest heaved as you tried to catch your breath. "Fuck.." The room seemed to spin again as you realized what must've happened. More tears forced their way down your face. "Oh my God, I busted your lip.." 

He brought one of his hands to finger lightly over his bottom lip. Only now did he notice the metallic taste. Letting out a breathy laugh, he turned his attention back to you. 

"Damn princess, you've got a hell of a left hook." Even in a situation like this, he dared to give you that signature shit-eating smirk. "That's kind of hot."

You weren't amused though.

"It's not funny, Dabi! I hit you," your voice was shaky, barely more than a whimper. The grief in your eyes brought back his own guilt. 

"Hey, it's alright, doll. What's one more scar? Doubt anyone could tell the difference, anyhow." 

He brought his hand to your chin, guiding your skittish gaze to his. Maybe it was sick of him to think, but somehow you looked gorgeous even with onerous crystalline tears among your lashes. Heavy lids closed again under his close attention, your lip quivering as you tried to hold back more tears. 

“You’re shaking, princess,” he spoke with a soft, thoughtful hum. His calloused thumb caressed along your jawline. 

“Yeah.” It was more of an exhale than an actual response. The trembling was such a routine part of your night terrors that you barely paid any attention to it until he mentioned it. Of course you were shaking; you probably would be for at least the next few hours. 

Wordlessly he shifted to lay beside you on his back. He stretched out for a moment, then reaching out for you with warm, inviting arms. You didn’t need to think about it. You instinctually moved forward and tucked yourself into his side. A soothing heat radiated off of him, seeming to envelope you entirely. 

The two of you laid there in silence for a bit, with you curled against him and his hands rubbing your back reassuringly. Your trembling quelled, though not entirely, and slowly your breathing levelled out again.

After he’d felt you still for a while, he spoke out again, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.” Your answer was immediate.

“Alright, dollface.”

He tightened his embrace around you, guiding your head to lay on his chest. A dull, nagging ache had set in on his lip, but he wasn’t about to move now. He could clean himself up later- you needed his attention now. Besides, a swollen lip was nothing he couldn’t handle. Shit, he got worse nearly every day when he worked. At least this time it had been an accident. He just hoped you wouldn’t beat yourself up too badly over it. 

His gaze shifted from the ceiling down towards you, studying your expression thoughtfully. Though your eyes drooped with exhaustion and your breathing was labored, you fought the urge to close them. It was clear that your mind was still on whatever form your trauma had taken in your subconscious this time. You’d told him before that while the general feeling of distress and terror was always the same, rarely did your nightmares repeat themselves. Sometimes they were minor reminders of what you’d been through and sometimes it was just a rehashed version of what had happened, just with different context and different perpetrators. Regardless of what it was, it always left you with the same panic and grief. Dabi didn’t doubt you’d keep dwelling on it until you got distracted. 

“Hey,” he said after gathering his thoughts again. Your glassy eyes snapped up towards him almost immediately. “You wanna watch your show again? We can even watch that trashy ‘foreign fiance’ shit, or whatever the fuck it’s called.”

“You hate that show,” you mumbled, voice muffled even more by the fabric of his shirt.

“Yeah, obviously. It’s shitty reality television. You seem to enjoy it, though.”

You tried to laugh a bit, but it came out as more of an amused exhale. 

“Thought so.”

He reached out to grab your laptop again, setting it up on the nightstand beside him. His hands quickly returned to you afterwards, one playing with your hair and the other gently tracing vague shapes against your bare skin. 

And that’s how you stayed. Minutes turned to hours and the night slowly gave way to dawn, but you remained tucked safely against his side. Nobody was going to hurt you again- not if he had any say in the matter. 

[trash-but-respectable-trash]

No time to die (angst one shot, Diavolo x F!MC)

Based on Billie Eilish song “No time to die”

(So I deleted the first version I posted by accident and like I dumbass I hadn’t saved it anywhere, so I tried for like 2 hours to find it somehow, but to no use. I was really sad because it took me hours to write it and I really liked how it turned out, but I don’t want this story to go to waste, because I really liked it and I have ideas for a continuation with Diavolo’s POV. So sorry if you already read it, but this version will be a bit different since I’m starting from scratch and I have no reference to how I wrote the first version. I hope you all enjoy anyway!)

Part 2 is up!

-

You should’ve known something wasn’t right. You should’ve known that this was too good to be true. You knew of his title and what he was, a demon, but you still decided to ignore it.

You should’ve known something was up when Diavolo started spending a lot more time with you than any other exchange student. He would always asked questions about you and your life in the human world. You should’ve known there was more to it than politness when Diavolo suggested for you to stay at his castle one night, when a friendly tea afternoon turned out to end much later than you anticipated. It wasn’t the first time it happened, but usually Barbatos would walk you home when it was too dangerous for you to walk back home alone.

You definitely should’ve known when you had your first time together. Diavolo had kissed you like you were an animated object. It felt animalistic, almost robotic, he wasn’t making love to you, that’s for sure. Right after he was done, he left pretending that he had paperwork to do and he did the same thing every other time after that.

You thought it was because of his nature, demons do not know how to love, at least that’s what you were telling yourself.

Diavolo would bring you everywhere and acted like a perfect gentleman in public. He would show you the most beautiful places in the Devildom and would present you to the most influential people in the Devildom even calling you his princess in front of everyone. That was how he made you feel in public, like a princess. But once you were both being closed doors he would act like he didn’t care about you. Sure, he would ask you questions about the human world from time to time, but you never felt like he truly wanted to get to know you past the basic information about yourself.

Everyone tried to warn you in one way or another. Solomon once told you to be careful around demons, that they cannot be trusted: “We humans, have to look out for each other.” As for the angels, Simeon simply told you that: “Demons aren’t made to love humans, they’re made to hate them.” You thought you would be the one to change that fact, how foolish of you.

You remembered the way the brothers would look at each other every time you said you were spending the day or night at Diavolo’s castle. They wanted to warned you, but they knew they couldn’t or else they would all be in danger. So they would simply told you to be careful. You thought they were simply jealous, but now you know better.

When you finally learned the truth, you couldn’t help but think about all the warnings and red flags you got during the last few months.

It’s not like Diavolo wanted to torture you or make you his concubine, not it wasn’t anything like that.

You learned of Diavolo’s true intentions by accident. You were waiting for him in his office because you knew this would be the first place he would go to once he got home. His desk was a mess, so you decided to clean it a bit before his return. Most of the papers scattered across his desk were student reports, but one letter in particular caught your attention. It was handwritten and started with: “Dear father”. Your curiosity got the better of you and you started to read the letter.

“Dear father,

Everything is going as planned. The exchange program is going wonderfully. The last time I wrote to you, I mentioned one of the exchange student, MC. She is a human like Solomon but she does not have the same magical power as him. I think she is in love with me, but I am only acting like I am in love with her too so she can trust me.

She is the key of my plan to rule over the three realms. With the information I am getting from her about the human world, it will be easier for me to take it over, especially with her on my side. I also needed her to trust me so she can tell the future exchange students of how wonderful her year was here with us, demons. I will put my plan into action once I get the trust of the Celestial Realm as well. She will be of great use for this as well, since the angels will see how happy she is here and how protected she is.

Do not worry father, as I will continue your legacy and make you proud of me. Nothing will stop me and as for now, everything is going as I planned. The next step for me will be to marry her, like you told me once, marriage and love are two different things. I need to think of what is best for our kind.

Your son,

Diavolo.”

A single tear fell onto the letter before you heard Diavolo’s footsteps approaching his office doors. You quickly put the letter back to his original place on his desk and sat on his office chair like nothing happened.

There were only three weeks left to the exchange program when you found the letter, so you acted like nothing was wrong for the remaining of the exchange program. You faked smiles and made it seemed like you were still madly in love with Diavolo. Two can play that game. You spent so little time alone with him that he didn’t notice anything.

-

You were finally on your last day of the student exchange program.

You told Diavolo earlier that morning that you had found the letter to his father on his desk and that you knew of his true intentions now. You thought he would lock you in his castle to prevent you from leaving the Devildom or maybe even kill you, but he did nothing of the sort. To your surprise, he had let you go without a fight. After all, you were of no use to him if you didn’t trust him.

-

You decided to sing one last song before you left the Devildom forever. Not for Diavolo, but for yourself.

You took your place on the stage. You were now in front of all of your friends, the brothers, your classmates, the other exchange students, Barbatos and Diavolo.

-

You were wearing an elegant black dress that Asmodeus bought you a couple months ago. He spent all afternoon doing your hair and makeup. You barely talked, which was very unusual for the both of you, but Asmo knew what you just went through and what this day and this song in particular meant to you so he didn’t talk, focusing on his task instead.

You had told the brothers about Diavolo’s plan that same morning. They all knew something was wrong in some way, but they never could’ve guessed what was Diavolo’s true plan. They all apologized to you for not being there to protect you.

-

The music started to play as you waited for you queue to start singing.

I should've known

I'd leave alone

You should’ve known you would leave the Devildom alone. You should’ve known that this was just all a dream that you would have to wake up from one day to face the truth. That you were nothing more than a pawn in Diavolo’s game of chess and that the only outcome possible was for you to leave the Devildom alone with your broken heart.

We were a pair

But I saw you there

Too much to bear

You were my life

But life is far away from fair

You dedicated yourself to a man who didn’t care for you, who didn’t love you. It was truly painful to accept the truth. He may have hurt you once, but you promised yourself this would be the last time he would ever hurt you.

Was I stupid to love you?

Was I reckless to help?

Was it obvious to everybody else

That I'd fallen for a lie?

You couldn’t help but think of how stupid you’d been. So naive to think that the prince of hell himself would actually fall in love with you. At first you were mad at yourself but also at the brothers. Why did they let you live in this fantasy filled with lies? Especially Lucifer, you thought you guys were close after what you had done to help his family get closer.

But then you remembered that Lucifer was bound to Diavolo and even if he knew what was Diavolo’s plan all along, he couldn’t tell you or you, his brothers and himself would all be in danger.

-

So, while you were now singing in front of your formal classmates, the brothers, Solomon, Simeon, Luke, Barbatos and Diavolo particularly, you never felt so hurt, but so powerful.

This was your swan song, the last time most of them would ever saw you again, would ever heard your voice again. You wish it would’ve gone completely differently, but you weren’t safe anymore in the Devildom. No one could protect you here, not the brothers or even the angels.

You could tell some of them were crying, knowing full well they let you down, but this was your own decision for once. You weren’t blinded by lies and by the glamorous life Diavolo offered you outside of his castle, anymore.

You were never on my side

Fool me once, fool me twice

Are you death or paradise?

Diavolo may had fooled you once, but you knew the truth now and you would never be fooled again. You would prove to him that you were more than a fragile human he could play with and use to his own advantage.

Now you'll never see me cry

There's just no time to die

You wanted to cry so badly, but you didn’t want to give Diavolo the satisfaction of seeing what he had done to you. So, you swallowed your tears and put on a strong face.

I let it burn

You're no longer my concern

Faces from my past return

Another lesson yet to learn

“You’re no longer my concern” this was a hard one for you, because at this exact moment, you realized that you didn’t care for Diavolo anymore. Sure, he had broken your heart and hurt you pride, but you were stronger than that now, stronger than ever before. You looked at him while singing these words and you could tell that he was uncomfortable by the look on his face and the way he was squirming in his seat.

Now you'll never see me cry

There's just no time to die

No time to die

No time to die

You were almost at the end of the song when you realized you weren’t looking at Diavolo anymore. You were now looking at your true friends, the brothers, Solomon, Simeon and Luke. Your experience in the Devildom might not have ended the way you expected but you wanted to leave it with a good memory.

Fool me once, fool me twice

Are you death or paradise?

Now you'll never see me cry

There's just no time to die

The song had ended and now Diavolo was nothing more than the past. At the last second before you left the stage to find your true friends, you turned to Diavolo once last time and said: "I would’ve told you to burn in hell but fortunately, that’s already where you are.” You immediately turned around again, without letting him enough time to speak or to react to what you just said.

After that, everyone returned to the House of Lamentation, everyone expect for Diavolo who went back to his castle alone.

You all said your goodbyes while Barbatos was standing awkwardly in a corner of the room.

After a while, Barbatos told all of you that it was now time to leave.

The first one to leave were the angels. You thanked them for what they did for you during the exchange program and made them swear they would come see you in the human world. You could tell that Barbatos was growing impatient, but you didn’t care.

You finally let the angels go when Barbatos opened a portal leading to the Celestial Realm and with one last goodbye, the two angels stepped into it.

Next was you and Solomon. Barbatos opened another portal, this one leading to the human world. You took Solomon’s hand before turning your head towards the brothers. They were now all crying, which also made you cried. You told them one last time that you loved them all, before turning back towards Solomon and said: “Let’s go home.” as you both walked into the portal.

-

You’ve been back to the human world for about a month now. It wasn’t easy at first adjusting to your old life. It would be a lie to say you didn’t think about him once in a while, but it didn’t hurt as much anymore. The main reason for that was that you had the help of Solomon who you’d spent a lot of time with.

You were also grateful for the brothers who all took turns to come see you in the human world. You got closer to them and it made you think about what would’ve happened if you didn’t fell for Diavolo. Would you have fallen for one of the brothers instead?

Oh well, you can’t rewrite history and you might still be a foolish human, but you were now a foolish human surrounded by people who truly loved you.

~

Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

There will be a part 2 to this with Diavolo’s perspective after MC’s gone. It will probably be dark, I just don’t know how dark I want it to be yet.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

28 Oct 19

Mood of the day has been TICKET STRESS! With LT tour ticket sales upon us with little time to prepare and much confusion about what the hell is going on, tensions are running high. But the pre-sale codes were finally sent out to most places and fans in the first countries to go on sale successfully got tickets so it's slightly calmer now. To everyone trying tomorrow: may the odds be ever in your favor.

Louis has added another performance! He's playing the Phoenix AZ Jingle Bash on Dec 9. Video of fans from the WMI listening parties has been posted. WMI is Amazon song of the day! And in interviews: he says that WMI is the second of FOUR singles, so we can expect another after DLIBYH (which he said will be out in Nov) and probably the video series is four parts. He says he spends AN HOUR A DAY reading fan messages and that he'd like to find an unknown/unsigned band to open for him for the UK or US legs of tour to give them a boost. We found out why Noel Gallagher is credited on Walls; as suspected it's because of a melody similarity and not any work he and Louis did together. Louis said it was ironic cause he's a Liam Gallagher fan mostly but that they asked if it was ok and Noel said yes, "I thought it was fucking cool, I was expecting him to just say no." Late Late Show is tonight and early reports make it sound fun and that's all, no big drama. Ben Winston got everyone riled up teasing something exciting on the show tonight but, spoiler, it isn't anything exciting. Build interviewer Kevan Kenney tweets that he has Louis news tomorrow. Louis took fan pics and hung out a little bit outside the LLS taping.

Liam's anime lyric video was mysteriously reuploaded to YouTube, so all the previous view counts were lost, and even more mysteriously the description included A LOT of lyrics from the upcoming album, just a massive dump of song lyrics. WTF happened over there?? MTV is teasing a Liam interview for tomorrow with some cool clips of a fun looking photoshoot (that white suit and Panama hat! whoa) and an interview clip in which he talks about the difficulties of dating in the public eye. He also shows us through his shoot wardrobe, stopping on a patterned suit to give a little wink to Harry ("I feel like I know someone would wear it better.")

Niall congratulated Lewis Capaldi on finally making it number one in the US, tells us to "smile all the time" because "it's good for ya," and says he's been listening to his own album at the gym because he's working on mixes currently. He posted and quickly deleted a dimly lit selfie making a weird face OOPS.

We got a picture of Harry in his stage clothes from the Jools Holland taping- it's the FOURTH (4th) iteration of the same outfit in a different color scheme, amazing! The high waisted button trousers, glittery blouse and wide braces combo was in soft purples and pinks on this occasion. The similarity to a certain David Bowie era was again noted.

And in the most unexpected revelations of the day, a Julian Bunetta podcast casts a familiar song in a whole new light. He talks about nearly leaking the entirety of Midnight Memories by accident but does not mention the time he actually was responsible for No Control leaking and talks about writing for 1D at great length without ever acknowledging them having participated in songwriting, but the big story is about the writing of She's Not Afraid. He says the house next to the studio they were working in was being used for a porn shoot and they "didn't want to be creeps" so they were sneaking around in the bushes peeking through the windows because they felt that would be "more respectful" to the female actress, hmm yes that sounds about like Julian's idea of respecting women, and then they wrote the song about a made up version of her in their minds. Respectful is... definitely the word is have chosen for all that, YOU BET. Anyway he also says the Calabasas house was bought by Liam and that's who lived in it.

[quickspinner]

⭐️star⭐️ Oooooorrr Hey gorgeous. Honestly one of my favorite lukanette stories of all time. Whichever you prefer 😊

Ask for director’s commentary

All right I’ve got another star in my inbox so we’ll go with Hey Gorgeous since that’s probably my most popular piece to date. So, how about a little bit of background, a couple of the issues I had writing it, and a deleted scene? I’m gonna go ahead and put a cut here because, as we all know: I’m wordy.

HG was totally an accident; I had no idea how it was going to blow up either in size or popularity. It’s also a fic that wouldn’t have happened, or at least wouldn’t have been nearly as big, if I hadn’t gotten such a great reaction to the beginning, so just know: Your feedback matters. If you like something, tell the author, because you never know what might happen (but it’s almost always more fic in some way or another).

I wrote the original 8 or 9 pieces mostly in one go; I did a little filling out and polishing before I posted each piece, and then when the feedback was so positive I started thinking about how I could continue and expand it, and I just jotted down the scenes as they came to me. That was really the fun thing about HG, aside from all the flirting which was fun to write--I didn’t worry about the things that usually stall me a bit. Because of the way I was writing it I didn’t worry about connecting scenes or flow. Usually, when I write a story, I have a bunch of really vivid scenes in my mind that I write first, and then I have to go back and connect them and smooth everything into a flow, but I didn’t bother with that with HG and that gave the story a really unique energy. Since it didn’t have a serious, plot-heavy narrative arc, I could just hit the high points of the relationship and that made it a lot of fun. 

I struggled a lot sometimes with whether Luka was really in character; HG Luka had a little less reserve and a little more sass than canon Luka. I tried to keep the things I see really essential to his character; his music (obviously), his empathy and sensitivity, his relationship with Juleka, his tendency to be a helper/caretaker and a problem solver. I admit I get salty with people who think there’s nothing to Luka; I think that the show gives us a lot of implied information and it’s not hard to extrapolate from there (if you actually care enough to think about it for five minutes instead of just dismissing his entire character because you don’t like the competition), but there’s also kind of a lot of wiggle room with him, because he gets so little screen time, and since I was working with an older Luka, I tried to sort of run with a direction I felt was plausible, even if it was a little more extreme than what we’d seen from him so far. That’s another reason why the feedback was so important in making this story continue; when I started to question what I was doing, I would look at the reactions and think, well, I must be doing something right, so here goes.

With that said, there were times where I started second guessing and got a little bit stuck. One of those spots was the moment where Luka sat down and talked to Marinette about the future. I didn’t want it to turn into a spontaneous proposal (because I already had the proposal scene planned) but I did feel like it was an important discussion to have. I also felt like I should show some conflict in their relationship, and that seemed like kind of a good point, but in the end...I just didn’t want to write it. I didn’t want to write them fighting! Because I didn’t want to it was next to impossible to actually do it, so finally I said the hell with it, I don’t care if it makes them look too perfect, I’m not dealing with that. But in the process of thinking through all of that I wrote this version of the scene, thinking maybe I could handle the argument in flashback, but ultimately, I decided it didn’t fit the tone of the story, and resigned myself to the fact that they would just stay too perfect. I can’t say I regret it, honestly. (Also I don’t know why there was so much cursing in this version of the scene, but it might have to do with the way I was winding myself up over getting it right, lol.)

***

Toni’s words weighed on his mind, but he couldn’t quite find the courage, or the words, or the right opening. 

Luka was overthinking it, he knew. Blunt, raw honesty had gotten him this far. They’d done the meet the parents thing, they lived together, and he was honestly being fucking ridiculous. It wasn’t as if he was asking her for any kind of commitment. 

So why was he so fucking terrified that asking her about the future was crossing a line? That it would somehow make her really look at the idea of a life with him and cause her to freak the fuck out.

He’d seen her freak out, a few months ago when she’d had deadlines stacked up and it was clearly physically impossible for her to meet them all. It wasn’t pretty. It was messy and tearful and honestly a little bit traumatizing, giving him flashbacks to Juleka’s darkest days. Seeing Marinette like that scared him literally sick, and the fight they’d had afterwards gave him chills to think about.

He’d been quietly furious that she had let things get so bad, but he had held it in until her deadlines were past and he’d thought she had recovered enough to talk about it...but she hadn’t, and it turned out neither had he. She’d fled livid and crying to Alya and he’d sobbed in Juleka’s lap, and in the end, after they’d both been talked down enough to deal with each other again, they’d agreed that Marinette had overextended herself to the point of endangering her health and sanity, and that Luka could find ways to confront her about it that didn’t involve projecting all the emotional trauma of his childhood into a situation that, while bad, wasn’t nearly dire enough to warrant his level of reaction. 

Luka hated himself for weeks afterward, even more so because Juleka felt guilty that her past problems had been a contributing factor. He probably owed her therapist a gift basket.

He jumped as he felt Marinette’s hands on his shoulders. “Hey, Gorgeous.” 

“Y-you’re t-tense t-today,” she said, leaning over the back of the couch. “Are y-you r-r-r—” She closed her eyes, and Luka reached up to squeeze her hand and sighed. He’d freaked her out, and now she was nervous. Her stutter was hardly ever that bad at home unless she was stressed out. “Sssorry,” she sighed. 

“It’s fine, I know I’ve been weird. Come on over here, I’ve been trying to figure out how to bring this up and I guess I might as well just blurt it out. It’s not bad stuff, just...well, I don’t know how you’re going to feel about it.”

Marinette came around the side of the couch and sat down next to him. Luka gave into the impulse to pull her into his lap. She wriggled around until she was snuggled against him but could still see his face. “You know I met with my agent the other day,” he said, figuring that was the best place to start. “She’s not happy about some of the choices I’ve been making, about the work I’ll take. She thinks I’m not thinking long term enough, and I…” He paused, and bit his lip, squeezing her thigh nervously. “I guess...I don’t know how to think long term without talking to you first. And I would never, ever want to pressure you into anything and I’m not asking you for any kind of commitment or—” Marinette put her fingers over his lips lightly to stop him. 

“J-just t-tell mmme what you w-want,” she said softly. 

Luka smiled. “I just wanna stay with you, babe, that’s all. I can do what I do anywhere. Toni thinks I should be willing to travel more, make more contacts now with people that will be big later. It all makes sense, I guess, except…” he shrugged. “I just don’t care. I’m not out to get famous or rich, I just want to be comfortable, and happy, and right now I’m all of those here with you.”

Marinette’s lips thinned slightly, and one finger tapped lightly on his arm in a nervous tic that meant she was thinking hard. Luka waited as patiently as he could, though his whole body felt tense and nervous. Marinette’s mind was a thing of wonder, and it was probably racing along paths of possibility he hadn’t even considered. 

When her focus returned to him, she didn’t speak immediately, and suddenly Luka found himself asking, “Does it bother you, that I don’t care about all that stuff? Is it...is it too much for me to want to always be here? Am I too much?”

“No,” she said clearly. “I don’t think you c-could b-be as...as you if that w-was what you wwwanted. And y-you’re n-not t-too mmmuch.” She turned pink. “Y-you’re mmy s-safe p-place, L-luka. Y-you always b-back off when I n-need ssspace, usually even b-before I h-have to ask. I w-want you to b-be here.” 

His shoulders must’ve lowered two inches in relief. Marinette giggled, patting his cheek. “I w-want you t-to be h-happy. I’m h-happy y-you asked mme, b-but I t-trust you to manage your c-career your own w-way.”

[itscookieoverlordtoyou]

40 Questions — Meme for Fic Writers

Don’t you sometimes see those ask games and wish you could just fkg do them all? On this sunny Saturday, we make our dreams reality lolol

1.  Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Short fic, I usually get a small scene I want written so I write around it, plus I love short stories with interesting punchline.

2.  Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Probably, I don’t know them all ^^’

3.  Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Writing about stuff that disgust me I guess.

4.  How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Like 5-6? I want to write about a restaurant but set in a world where people have powers I think the combo could be very funny. The main character has the power of insight, the plonge is a giant pool where you swim around cleaning. Backstories of characters with shitty and amazing powers and how they ended up here. Rival to lover character that has the power to see into the future.

5. Share one of your strengths.

Dialogues, subversion, and humor; classmates often said I have a touch to spin a sad story into something positive/happier.

6.  Share one of your weaknesses?

I get tired when I describe something for longer than 4 sentences.

7.  Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“In what kind of trouble have we walked right into?”, I ask my companions as they’re idly fixing their attire. Together, we’ve face many perils and this mission ranks among one of the most dangerous. Yet, the others had been…how should I say it…professional! Rescuing kidnapped princesses, vanquishing terrifying monsters, quests to restore mythical artifacts, save nations from insidious plots. Oddly enough, “Does this dress make me look fat?”, is not the answer I’m looking for.

Ribbon in my hair is the first time I wrote about my knights, I first dreamt about them when I as 18, my boyfriend at the time called my idea stupid and my world building pointless so I only started writing about them when I was 21. Now I write about them a little bit every year :)

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Do you really want your last words to be complaints?”

“I die as I lived.”

“Will we become a fruit tree?”

“I don’t think so, it’s never been the case for my ancestors.”

“I’d love it if we could turn into a banana tree.”

“I’m not from the southern regions, plus I like apples more.”

“Just imagine, our fruits could have been banana flambée”

This death scene was a big finale to a story I wrote for a class in Uni, a story of war between clan of forest and volcano people, of the supposedly brutal death of a Goddess, of a mysterious apple tree whose fruit give vision of the past. I should revisit it.

9.  Which fic as been the hardest to write?

My analysis on D’Artagnan and the figure of the hero. Granted it’s an essay for school but I deeply loved it. I was too afraid to write or ask for help from the professor in charge of me (which made our relationship tense ^^’) but when I did, it was beautiful and I was very proud got 89% :D

10.  Which fic has been the easiest to write?

A play called Adelaide where an old couple reads their old fairytale book about a Prince on a quest to save a Princess. They bicker about the other misreading the story but we finally get to the part where the Prince tosses the princess apart to get a better view of the dragon of which he falls instantly in love. The book is actually their wedding album.

11.  Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

It’s one of my passions, but it’s not something I think I could live on so I delegated it to my hobby.

12.  Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

The wedding scene in Shrek 2, my mind was blown when I saw it in theaters and when I need inspiration to write, I rewatch it.

13.  What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Presentation is important. If trying to read you gives people headaches, they’ll stop. Choose a nice big font, space with paragraphs, be mindful of your spelling and missing words. Read out loud because some things written are bad said.

14.  What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

I must’ve been lucky in this regard, I don’t think I’ve ever received advice that made me go NO, but I did have to listen/read stuff that made me gag.

15.  If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

I would love to the Adelaide acted out, some adjustments would be required because I’m no expert in play writing but I think I’d be great.

16.  If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Luyenor’a and Taram, names are placeholders as of now but they’re two of my knight, being the “only pairing I’m allow to write about forever” means I’d get more knight shenanigans done.

17.  Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I’m doing bullets point of what I want to happen and write stuff without much order. Some days I have no inspirations for what goes in the beginning but have loads for a later point. I surf the wave when it presents itself.

18.  Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Word on my computer, a notebook in my bag, the note app in my phone.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

I have little trinkets all around my computer to invite inspiration.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Freshly woken up, having eaten, drinking something sugary and sometimes apple cider because the alcohol help lower my inhibition.

21.  How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I read out loud at least once the whole thing, helps with missing words but dude I reread my stuff on ao3 and always find mistakes still ^^’

22. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions).

I’m not going to put here because it’s in French and I don’t want to translate now but I wrote Vision of a world, mine when I was 16 and damn was I already depressed then?

23.  If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

The Princess and the Soldier, some gay fairytale I think my first one, I’m sure I can do better bow

I also have one about a janitor and it’s a murder mystery I could redo

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

Once by accident, I was so angry I never rewrote it.

25.  What do you look for in a beta?

I don’t really use beta (beta reader right?) but I guess I’ve had like 3-4 when I was in Uni and had to read people’s wip and they read mine. They’d talk about what they liked, links they noticed, things that seemed weak or to change

26.  Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I usually just point out the stuff I like

27.  How do you feel about collaborations?

For a class in college, we had to act out a play we wrote collectively. Ten sketches written in pairs/alone. I made sure I was alone so I wouldn’t be saddled with someone else to write my sketch

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

I don’t follow fic writers; I just am in a mood for a ship and read what’s available. I do like my friend @alumort ‘s fics tho ^^

29.  If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

There was a Phineas and Ferb fic focused on Perry I really loved. Their world building was something I’d never seen and they abandoned the story, so I did fanfic of a fic. Never dared to post it anywhere I mean it was their world to begin with.

30.  Do you accept prompts?

Of course, when inspiration is given I accept

31.  Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I don’t care about canon but I do love using it when there are little trivia to enrich the character.

32.  How do you feel about smut?

Love to read it sometimes, would love to write it. Some I’m like………….youveneverhadsexhaveyou…………………

33.  How do you feel about crack?

Love it!!!!!!!! I’m too self-conscious to write it tho. Oh maybe that could be a never before written trope I could try?

34.  What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

Rape I can’t, dub-con where underlying requited feelings exist but anxiety™ don’t let the characters express them but they’re drunk so it surfaces is okay

35.  Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Hell yeah! I do when/if the death makes sense (I am still pissed at Kishi for Neji)

36.  Which is your favorite site to post fic?

Ao3 is where I post,I used devianart when I had one

37.  Talk about your current wips.

Marry Me for the Love of Cake: God I’m so sorry to the few people who followed it, I said I’d pick it up before the end of 2019 and well……I have the ending in bullet points

Yours, with Love: I hope I’ll finish it…I have most of the ending in bullet points

I guess I’m into rom com at the moment lolol

38.  Talk about a review that made your day.

I made my best friend read All this for a Roll Cake, and she laughed so much at my work, I took a picture I look at from time to time to remain humble.

39.  Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

Thankfully I’ve never received a rude review. My professor once told me it seemed kinda unnatural how unlucky my protagonist was vs. how lucky his love interest was (All this for a Roll Cake) but that was the whole point of the story so I just ignored her.

40.  Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Writing this I realised I lost my final version of All this for a Roll Cake T^T so I guess I’d rewrite the ending I have of the before the last version I still have.

Well this was fun ^^ got to revisit my works and remember many beloved pieces of fiction I wrote, I look forward to my next projects

[anninhiliation]

Everytime

 A/N I feel so bad I didn’t get inspired by Moonlight Records for Zabdiel kind of making him the odd one out but I’m going to look at it as giving him special treatment. He is my cheat lane anyways. So Everytime, is the acoustic version that caught my attention for Zab. I found it under the user Nathan Bourrut Le! Anyways as I wrote before check my masterlist, for when I post the other boys or check back here or I could tag you! Also, I own nothing this is all fictional and I have no rights.

Masterlist

Thinking ‘Bout You - Chris

Goodnight n Go - Erick

Better Off - Richard

In My Head - Joel

Warnings: Toxic relationship depicted, drinking, smut, cursing. 

Word Count: A little under 3k

 Back to you, back to you, back to you

Back to you, back to you, back to you

I go back to you, back to you, back to you everytime

You and Zabdiel were in an off and on again relationship. He was the fire to your oil, the key to your ignition. The two of you were toxic for each other but could not keep away from each other. There was something about the 6'2 blonde Puerto Rican man that kept driving you back to him.

I get tired of your no-shows

You get tired of my control (yeah)

They keep telling me to let go

But I don’t really let go when I say so (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

You sat at a café waiting for Zabdiel tapping your heel against the wood floor. You had already ordered your favorite drink and finished it half an hour ago. You eagerly checked your phone hoping for a notification from Zabdiel who wanted to meet with you, to begin with, in the cafe. The waiter approached you, giving you a weak smile as you stared at your blank phone. 

“No rush.” He said as he handed you the check. 

“Thanks.” You replied looking up returning the weak smile. 

You took out your wallet and placed seven dollars in the checkbook. You grabbed your purse and strutted out of the café. Annoyed you leaned outside the cold brick wall of the café and called Zabdiel. He picked up on the fourth ring which only fueled your anger. 

“Ya?” He nonchalantly said. 

Great, he’s high you thought to yourself.  “Thanks for wasting my time yet again. If you wanna meet you’re going to have to come and track me down. Fucking asshole.” You barked as you hung up the phone. 

You got into the car and drove to your apartment. The drive to the apartment was everything but peaceful which only drove your nerves even angrier. There was an accident that made traffic chaotic, and of course, construction was being performed on the back roads. Finally, you reached the parking lot of the apartment complex and took a deep breath. You opened your apartment door and your roommate was with a mutual friend. The two were sitting in the kitchen table drinking chilled white wine. 

“Mind if I join?” You asked with a heavy sigh as you opened the fridge and uncorked a fresh bottle of white wine. 

“No, not at all!” Marci, your roommate spoke up. 

“Great because I’ve had a day.” You protested as you began to drink straight out of the bottle.

“What happened?” Andrea, the mutual friend, questioned.

“Wanna take a guess?” You questioned back as you laid your head down on the counter.

“I swear to god Y/N if you went out to see, fix or do anything with Zabdiel I will kill you.” Marci threatened. 

“Ding ding ding!” You cheered. “But guess what? He stood me up!” You shrieked as you took another sip from the bottle. 

“I just don’t get it Y/N. Why do you stay, and go back to him? He’s such a douche bag.” Andrea groaned. 

“I promise you guys that I’m not giving him another chance after today. If he wants me back he’s going to have to fight like hell to get me back.” You said wholeheartedly. 

I keep giving people blank stares (yeah)

I’m so different when you’re not there (yeah, yeah)

It’s like something out of Shakespeare (yeah)

Because I’m really not here when you’re not there

Andrea and Marci convinced you to go to the club with them. Marci’s argument was the best way to get over a boy was to find a rebound and have the boy you’re done with fucked out of you. Andrea’s argument was simpler and it was to have a good night out and to delete the old boy’s number. You were so fed up with Zabdiel that you agreed to the girl’s plan and even deleted Zabdiel’s number in front of them so they knew you were over and done with him. You gave yourself one last glance in the mirror before walking out of your room. Your dress hugged you in all the right places and you showed enough cleavage to gain attention but not enough where you were in danger of having a wardrobe malfunction. You paired the dress with your favorite silver sparkly pumps which accentuated your legs. The three of you walked onto the street of a popular road that was mostly filled with bars and clubs. You guys decided since everyone practically pre-gamed at the apartment, it was easier to just go to your favorite club and find you a cute guy to dance with. As you guys entered the club the smell of alcohol and the blasting music overpowered your senses. You beelined up to the bar and ordered a vodka tonic. Taking your drink you made your way to the dance floor and swayed your hips to the beat. As the song ended, Despacito came on and a guy grabbed your hips helping you move to the beat with him. He was much taller than you, which you couldn’t help but think of Zabdiel. You turned around to look at the mysterious man’s face, secretly hoping it was Zabdiels. When you looked up, it was a stranger’s face. You stared into his eyes as you danced, and you couldn’t help but fall into your own world. As the song ended you placed your finished drink down and ordered a new one. You did this for a couple of songs, varying the drinks and the guys. You began to feel annoyed that no guy was matching your energy or igniting a fire within you. 

I’ve tried to fight our energy

But everytime I think I’m free (yeah, woo!)

You get high and call on the regular

I get weak and fall like a teenager

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

You had reached your limit of dancing with strangers and wanted fresh air. You found Andrea and Marci having the time of their lives, laughing, dancing and still drinking. 

"Guys I'm going to go get fresh air." You screamed trying to overpower the music. 

Marci nodded and Andrea gave you a thumbs up. Leaning in Marci yelled in your ear,

"We will be right out after a couple of songs." 

You nodded in response and headed out the club door. The cooler air hit your glistening skin and it felt sensational. You leaned against the brick wall enjoying the quieter atmosphere and felt the vibration of the music rumble through the wall. The door to the club burst open, to which you thought nothing of it because of the atmosphere you were in, thus you did not bother to look. 

"Aye Mami," a familiar voice growled at you. 

You shot your gaze over to the tall blonde who was eyeing you up and down hungrily. 

"Keep walking Zabdiel." You scoffed.

"Mi Amor, but you said if I wanted to talk I should track you down. Pero yo veo que Dios me eso el trabajó." Zabdiel responded.

He slowly inched towards you, with lust forming in his eyes. Every step he took closer to you, the wetter you began to feel. It did not take long for him to place both hands on the brick wall, caging you in. His face was centimeters away and you could feel his warm breath radiate towards your ear.

"En seriamente quieres que me vaya?" Zabdiel whispered as he nipped your ear lobe.

I get drunk, pretend that I’m over it

Self-destruct, show up like an idiot

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

You pushed Zabdiel out of the way. 

"I can't do this. I'm gonna go get drunk." You muttered. 

You re-entered the club, taking a deep breath of the strong smell of alcohol and allowing the strong beat take over your body. You slowly made it to the bar and ordered a tequila shot. The more you danced the more tequila you took. It did not take long for you to become inebriated because you are a lightweight. Andrea and Marci soon found you dancing with a crowd of people shaking your ass on some random guy. 

"Y/N!" Marci shouted once she got close to you. 

"Marciii!" You slurred as you pulled her in for a hug.

"Let's go home." Marci politely demanded as she helped you exit the club. 

"Okay!" You giggled.

"I'm ordering the Uber now," Andrea commented once the fresh air nipped your skin.

The three of you waited outside of the club for about three minutes until the car pulled up. The drive home was filled with the noise of your giggles. Once the uber parked outside the apartment the three of you all piled out. Purposely you left your purse behind, in the middle seat. 

“Excuse me! Miss! Your purse!” The uber driver shouted.

Smirking, you looked at Marci and Andrea. 

“You guys go inside I’ll meet you there in a second.” You cheered as you walked towards the uber. 

You sat down in the back seat once the girls were out of sight. 

“Hey here's thirty dollars, drive to this address please.” You asked the driver as you handed a ten and a twenty while showing on your phone with Zabdiels address. 

The driver nodded and the two of you sped away.

I go back to you, back to you, back to you

Back to you, back to you, back to you

I go back to you, back to you, back to you everytime

Once the car came to a full stop outside of Zabdiel’s house you rushed out. Shouted a thank you to the driver and proceeded forward. Dashing towards his front door and banged on it. He was quick to open the door and look at you in a bit of a shock. 

“Que-” He began, but before he could finish what he was going to say, you got on your tippy-toes and slammed your lips against his. 

Zabdiel kissed against his shocked reaction and roamed your body with his large hands. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he lifted you up by your thighs. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he held onto you. Zabdiel turned you around so you were facing the open door. He kicked the door shut as he carried you to the bedroom. Zabdiel threw you on the bed and hovered over your body. 

“Princesa fuiste tan mala conmigo en el club.” Zabdiel growled.

“Pero you forgot about our date papi.” You whined. 

He kissed your jaw and made his way down to your neck and collar bone.

“Pero ya te dije…” Zadiel mumbled as lips paid attention to your sweet spot. “Lo siento princesa.”

 A moan escaped your plump lips and he attacked all of your sweet spots. He flipped you over and unzipped your dress while planting kisses down your spine sending shivers all over your skin and electricity to your core. You helped him out of your tight dress after the zipper was fully down. The cold air nipped at your bare skin as your dress was thrown carelessly across the room. Zabdiel flipped you on your back admiring your breasts bounce against the movement. Zabdiel sucked on one nipple and palmed the other. You arched your back against his touch and spread your arms against the covers grasping for life. Zabdiel went to the other nipple and did the same thing, which made you moan his name. He planted soft kisses down the valley of your breasts and stop at the hem of your panties. You bucked your hips begging for some friction. Zabdiel slowly removed the fabric covering your core and kissed your inner thighs as he fully removed your panties. 

“Bebé estás tan mojada” Zabdiel whispered as he ran a finger through your slit.

“Zab no teasing you've done enough of that.” You whimpered as you snaked your hands around his blonde locks trying to get his lips closer to where you needed him the most. 

Zabdiel complied and attached his tongue to your nerve endings, drawing figure eights. He effortlessly inserted his digits inside you and curled them right into your g-spot. Zabdiel was an expert in knowing your body, knowing how to make you feel amazing and send you to a whole other planet with a flick of his tongue. 

“Zab...please….fuck me.” You panted out between the moans. 

A knot was forming in your pit, but you wanted to hold it in. You wanted to orgasm around Zabdiel’s rock hard cock knowing how crazy that always drove him. Zabdiel removed himself from you and removed his pants along with his boxers. His member sprang out, and Zabdiel instantly lubed his dick against your slit hitting your clit each time with his tip. You felt as if you could just cum right then and there with the amount of build-up Zabdiel was teasing you with. 

“Zabdiel!” You whined begging for him to get on with it. 

Instantly Zabdiel shoved his full length inside you and released a loud groan. He gave you no time to adjust and roughly pounded in and out of you. Both of your bodies began to glisten as the knot in your stomach began to grow. 

“Zab I'm gonna cum.” You moaned out. 

“Dale nena.” Zabdiel encouraged as he placed his thumb on your clit. 

You released, rolling your eyes back and bucking your hips. Your walls tightened around Zabdiel causing a groan to fall from his lips. His thrusts quickly became sloppy and he joined you in his own orgasm.

Just when I get on a new wave (yeah)

Boy, you look at me and I slip outta my lace

They keep calling me a head-case

‘Cause I can’t make a good case why we can’t change

As you returned to your apartment complex at 4:00am after finishing with Zabdiel and ending your time with him in a fight...again. You tried to enter as quietly as possible and sneak into your own bed. You attempt was proven to be useless as Marci and Andrea sat on the couch and patiently waited for you. 

“Y/N! What the fuck?!” Marci shouted annoyed.

“I don't even know.” You yawned

“No that's not an excuse we did not go out for a girls night for you to end up right back where you started!” Andrea interrupted. 

“Listen guys I’m really drained can we continue this tomorrow?” You pleaded

“No we want a good answer as to why you can't just get over Zabdiel. You both treat each other like shit Y/N!” Marci huffed.

I’ve tried to fight our energy (yee, yee!)

But everytime I think I’m free (yeah)

You get high and call on the regular

I get weak and fall like a teenager

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you? Mmm (Back to you, baby)

It has been a week since you or Zabdiel have communicated with each other. Your friends believed you were officially getting over him until the ninth day when he called you out of the blue. 

“Hola Princesa ¿Qué tal?” Zabdiel asked 

"I've been good what about you?" You replied

"Want to grab dinner?" Zabdiel offered in his thick accent that always drove you crazy. 

"Are you even going to show up?" You snapped trying to fight every bone in your body that wanted to see him again.

"¿Como no? Te levantó a las ocho." Zabdiel ordered.

I get drunk, pretend that I’m over it

Self-destruct, show up like an idiot

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

The dinner went just as you expected it would even though you tried changing the never-ending loop. You ended the night with Zabdiel, and just after climax the two of you ended in a heated argument. You left in an Uber and went to a sleazy bar. Your goal was to get as drunk as possible and have someone else pay for it. As the night went on you danced on strangers who were buying you drinks. You began to feel the alcohol in your veins and were officially letting loose. As you planted your lips on a handsome stranger you could not help but compare him to Zabdiel. You ended up leaving the bar, alone to just end up at Zabdiel’s front door ready to apologize once more.

I go back to you, back to you, back to you (I go back to you)

Back to you, back to you, back to you (back to you)

I go back to you, back to you, back to you everytime (I go)

I go back to you, back to you, back to you (yeah!)

Back to you, back to you, back to you

I go back to you, back to you, back to you everytime

[superjennysunshine]

Day 9: Day 7 - Revelations.

Today was fun. Xenoblades been fucking amazing so far and I’m still looking forward to playing it everyday, unfortunately FF14 has taken a backseat to it but I’ll return once i finish up Xenoblade.

So lets talk about day 7 huh.

I said I didn’t have a post for day 7 cause it was a bad day and that’s partially a lie. It was mostly an average day until I wrote out the post for day 7, at which point it became a bad day.

I didn’t really know what to write on day 7. I tried a couple things and none of them seemed to work and as I kept deleting paragraphs everything kept getting a little more raw and emotional, Attempt 2 was more emotional and raw than attempt 1. Attempt 3 more than 2, etc. On my fourth try I found what I was looking for, that feeling when you’ve struck literature gold and your just typing away filling the page with word after word of exactly what you wanted to convey.

But then I realized something. What I was writing sounded exactly like a suicide note. The first sentence was “I just wanted them to know how I felt.” later i wrote “I want them to know none of this was there fault, there was nothing they could’ve done.” and I started balling in my room, my door was open so I was biting down on my lip, tears streaming down my face as I wrote this letter. Finally I reached an end after 4 paragraphs and just sat there crying.

Ultimately I didn’t post that letter for day 7, of course, and I’m better now, I know that probably doesn’t sound like much coming from me, especially with events as of late, but I do feel better than I did then. But thinking back to it, It felt so final. It was so filled with anger and bitterness toward the world, some sort of lamenting tantrum at everyone who would’ve read it. It read like the words of someone who was about to die and it scared me. Still does today, which I guess is a good thing. 

I think about my own death a lot, hell I daydream about it nearly on the regular. I feel like I’ve told at least one or two people that but I’ve never told them specifically what I think about. I have two separate death dreams.

The first is the Car Dream. In the car dream, I’m driving, on some street near a closed gas station, when all of the sudden i get in a head on collision. there’s glass stuck in me all over, im bleeding out of my ears and my eyes are open wide in shock. I crawl out of the car and lay on the ground by the door, staring up into the sky as the dream camera very cinematic like floats up into the air as David Bowies’ Heroes plays. Melodramatic as hell I know. But that’s how it plays out every single time I have the car dream.

Btw David Bowie makes great credit music. Heroes, Moonage Daydream, Life On Mars they all have such an ending type of vibe too them, like you’re watching someone walk off the field in an 80′s movie. Or in my case die in a fucking car accident lmao.

Anyway..

The other is the Funeral Dream. In the funeral dream I’ve already died. Everyone I expect would be at my real life funeral is there all dressed up to the nines. It’s in the same funeral home as my dads, I guess because it was the last funeral home I vividly remember the look of. There’s no service or anything but there is a closed casket and a television. The Television turns on and a video begins playing. It’s animated the first I hear is Blue by Yugo Kanno, the ending track to Cowboy Bebop. Another very good credit song, mainly because it’s used in the series finale credits. The similarities don’t stop there, as a huge blue sky plays a pivotal role in the plot of this little animation. There’s a shot of me in a hospital bed, presumably in this dream I die of some sort of illness. Don’t know if I’d take it over a car crash but that’s a quandary for another day. I wont go into too much detail about the events leading up to the end of the video. But when the ending crescendo of Blue begins i start running up the side of the hospital, and jumping into the sky, and as the song ends I fly away, only to be seen watching the world below me while sitting on a cloud. It mirrors this picture from the ending of All Star Superman, which makes sense because it’s my favorite image a comic I love, and is also about someones death.

The video is honestly, quite beautiful. It’s stirred tears out of me more than a couple of times.

I’ve had revelations about these dreams recently. In both of them I’m killed by something completely out of my control. An Unstoppable Illness, and An Unseen Oncoming Vehicle. I go away to music, ending music, ending music I love, and in the funeral dream I get closure. I watch the reactions of the people I love and I watch them leave. Knowing that their lives will continue on.

A resolute end. A goodbye.

This entire break I’ve been dreading returning to my friends lives not because I hate them or anything but because It would make it so much harder to leave. I’ve felt exhausted of living for so long, since before I even knew any of them, though I didn’t know that back then. But I got involved in these peoples lives I became something to them no matter how small or big that thing might be I AM something. It all makes senses. I stop talking to my guitar teacher, I brush off every compliment that comes my way, I chuckle and say a half assed thanks when people show me genuine love, I confine myself to my room and never speak to anyone, because I’m trying to prepare. Whether all of it means to prepare to just disappear or kill myself is a question I don’t have the answer to.

The more important question is, now that I’ve figured it all out, how do I feel about it?

Idk. I don’t wanna die, not today. Not right now. I did on day 7. Will I tomorrow? Maybe.

Truthfully, I have no Idea how to process any of this information or what i want to do with it. emotionally I want to go through with it, just POOF out of peoples lives and chill either in this room alone or in the ether. Logically I don’t want to do any of that because that sounds fucking insane.

Idk man. Shits crazy.

[onisiondrama]

PART 14 - videos #26 & 27

(Click here for video mirrors) - These are not my words or thoughts, I’m just summarizing what Greg / James is saying in his videos. Apologies for any offensive language or comments that may appear. - I am not repeating stories anymore and will replace these stories with brackets describing what he’s talking about. If you don’t know these stories you’re going to have to go back and read previous parts or watch his previous videos.

the known

- He was just read some texts from Sarah. In them, Sarah said she would know if she was groomed because she was groomed when she was 11 and put that person in prison. He says she also said in texts that Ayalla tried to sleep with her when she was 16 and Ayalla encouraged her to starve herself. He says it’s interesting Ayalla would attempt to take the moral high ground when she tried to sleep with Sarah when Sarah was 16. He would love to show you the texts, but last time he showed texts you guys got his Patreon deleted. He learned his lesson and if it goes to court he’ll have to drop that text bomb. - [He gets a phone call. It cuts to after the call and he says he can get a free beyond burger at Carl’s Jr.] - He says Sarah had a piece of paper that said they had the ability to take her to the hospital or to make life changing decisions for her if they needed. This was because she was going to live with them, but it didn’t work out. Kai remembers Sarah lived around them when she was 16. Nothing happened between them. Billie knew how much Greg hated Sarah at the time. - The texts Sarah sent them are now concrete because they uploaded them to the iCloud. - He says he doesn’t remember Sarah coming and going very well because he didn’t care. He didn’t let himself care about her and he wasn’t interested in her life. She was there to be Kai’s friend. He didn’t show any interest in Sarah besides when they played the game Deadliest Warriors where he would crap talk her when he slashed her up in the game. - Sarah was there 5 months, then three. She went home again after she confessed she loved Greg to another person. That caught him off guard and he didn’t want to deal with it. She got creepy, weird, and crazy in response to his “dat booty doe” joke. Nobody says that, it’s not a real thing unless you’re R&B or Hip Hop, which he’s not. He’s a comedian. - The texts they have go back to 2014. He doesn’t know if Kai was talking to Sarah in 2014. Greg didn’t meet her until 2016 when she was 16. It’s hard to say someone has a parental role when the person isn’t living with you. She was there 5 months, then three, then she came back to visit for an Easter egg hunting party or a Christmas party. He guesses no one wanted to hang out with her for the holidays back home or she wasn’t interested in hanging out back home. He didn’t give a shit about Sarah and she was only around maybe 9 months total. She didn’t visit before she turned 18, especially since they moved into this house and it’s too small to fit another person. People think she lived with them from 16 to forever and he agrees that would be weird. He speculates since Sarah left, the medical piece of paper they signed would no longer be relevant. There was no consistency or parental behavior. The most parental thing he did was drop her off at Target because she worked there. She was home schooled so he didn’t drive her to school. - Says there’s text after text of Sarah telling Kai she knew he wasn’t interested in her and she knows Greg isn’t grooming her. He treated her as shitty as he humanly possibly could. He compares her to the person in a friend group you don’t like. She was a dumb teenager and socially weird. She was always glaring at Billie. She wanted to be Billie and dyed her hair blue to be like Billie. She tried to be cutesy when she was 17, but they wouldn’t bite. It wasn’t interesting and he wasn’t attracted. He’s an asshole and mean. He called her Meg Griffin to her face and laughed. - You guys only believe him when he says something you want to hear. That’s how you know you’re not honest. Reality is harsh truth. - What happened to Kai was a crime. If he decided to press charges Greg would stand by him. but he doesn’t think Kai wants to. Kai doesn’t want to talk about it, like a real victim would do because it’s humiliating.  - Sarah was with Kai two times and Kai just layed there. Sarah put her mouth on him. Kai was not comfortable. [Greg only pushed the relationship to help Sarah.] - Sarah later said she was only joking about blackmailing them. He says it’s hard to tell when someone tells a joke in a non-joking context. [NDA/blackmail story] - He recently learned Sarah kept a little book about them the whole time, like she was plotting. She admitted nothing happened until she was 18 so that blows her whole story up. You shouldn’t trust people that change their stories. Only in some instances, like when you realize someone isn’t who you thought they were. - Greg says after he broke up with Shiloh for cheating, she would say she always loved him, she treasured the moments they had together, and one day they’ll meet up again. She was talking about how great he was on her public blog, which you can still access, Draculoh. After she realized she’s not going to get him back she said he was actually terrible. Typical psychotic ex bullshit. - [Sarah kissed Kai and scared Kai story.] Says he told Sarah if she really liked Kai to just kiss him. He was the one that gave her the right to do it. He and Sarah pressured Kai and made him uncomfortable. You can’t call Greg a rapist because Kai wanted to be with him. Out of everything that’s happened, that was the closest thing he did to a crime. If Kai wanted to press charges against Greg for aiding Sarah in what she did to Kai, Greg wold probably be compliant because he was there and it didn’t feel good. The first time it seems ok, the second time seemed a little weird, the third time seemed straight up not good. Seemed like they were trying to trick Kai into sleeping with them. They put Kai through hell. He and Sarah are probably terrible people. If you want to be mad at him, be mad at him for what he and Sarah did to Kai. He only did it because he has a hero complex and wanted to help Sarah. He wasn’t thinking about Kai. That’s why Kai is still silent. You guys still put him through the ringer. If a victim was sobbing hysterically and suffering right in front of you, you wouldn’t see it. All you guys only see people who viciously go after other people and you want to joining the outrage culture bandwagon. The real bad guys are Sarah and possibly himself.

quite a bit

- Someone who actually listened to Greg wrote him. They say Anonymous Gene DM’d them on twitter. Gene thought they were a sock puppet account because they were defending Greg. This person got 9 out of 10 of Gene’s accounts suspended for spamming, harassment, and doxing. Gene claimed to be working with Chris Hansen and Hansen follows his account. Greg says he’s seen no proof of this, he’s only been told. He’s seen screen shots of Gene’s alleged IP address and they connected him to Vince, then it wasn’t Vince. People keep saying Hasen is paying Gene to dox Greg and his family members. His family members have nothing to do with this, he barely talks to any of them. - Person says Gene posted on reddit, he was the first person to leak photos and videos of Hansen knocking on Greg’s door. Greg asks how this person would have access to that before anyone unless they were working with Hansen. - Person says they found out Gene’s real name. They googled it and saw he was arrested and went to court. Greg says Hansen works with a lot of people who have been to court and Hansen was also arrested. A lot of corruption. - Person said if you google “Lance and Chris Hansen” a page came up saying Chris is working with criminals. Greg says criminals stick together. You can look up Chris Hansen’s mugshot. - He searches for texts from a girl who tells him everything people are saying about them. [He scrolls through the texts.] He says people knew not cropping the top of the Billie text was an accident, but people got him suspended anyway. That’s integrity for you. - [He reads a quote from December that said there’s officially an FBI investigation looking into him.] [Laptop story, chain of ownership.] He says it was an old shitty laptop Sarah bought for $200. - [He responds to quotes from the texts.] Says he hasn’t broken rules. [Lists and responds to Chris Hansen’s financial issues.]  - Greg says someone took a picture of him holding a toddler in Dairy Queen. Apparently he can’t go to Dairy Queen without people taking pictures of him and posting it to the web. Very irritating, especially when you take picture of kids. - Reads someone wanted to put wanted posters with his and Kai’s face around where they live. He says that’s slander and posing as law enforcement, a crime. People commit crimes because they think they’re a hero. That’s because they don’t die a hero. They live long enough to become the villain. - He says Real Stream News is upset at Vince. - He says there’s Regina going on twitter rants about seeking plastic surgery. - [He called the cops on Chris Hansen, Hansen released the 9-1-1 call.] That’s not what an innocent person does, that’s what a criminal does. It’s creepy. - He reads officials can’t release recordings without a court order. He says maybe that’s true. - He reads Shiloh got her tattoo covered up and gave the rest of the money to the other victims. Greg says he doubts that. He says covering up a tattoo is $50 and he was told she already had it covered up before the gofundme. He asks where the money went. He says people should step up and publicly admit if they got money from Shiloh. That would prove she did was she said she did, but he has a theory that she did what she did to him. Take the money and run.[Shiloh took his money while she was in Canada story.] She later apologized and said she would pay him back. He wanted the $3,000 or $4,000 back. She gave him a confirmation code. He went to the Fred Meyer in Tacoma to the money tree and they said it wasn’t a real number. He thinks that’s fraud. He tells Shiloh if she still wants to give back the money she promised him, that would be great. [Shiloh took his money story again.] She told lies to get money from him. That’s fraud. - He reads an angry tweet from someone asking Shiloh for receipts. He says “yikes.” - [Lists things Gene doxed.] Greg says if Hansen is funding that, it could be a real legal problem. Hansen is already in legal trouble with trespassing past Greg’s signs. - Says the next part is people being hateful about toddlers in videos. It’s crazy anyone can see tragedy, something horrible that happened to a child and think money. That’s what a lot of Youtubers think. If you want to look like the good guy, you should donate all the money you made off those videos about a toddler getting hurt to a good cause. Profiting off of that is horribly evil. Hansen should donate month off of interviewing “victims” [hand quotes] to a charity or a good cause instead of paying off his debts. If he cared about these people that’s what he would do. - [He reads the leaked texts from Gene of Vince calling Wes the N-word.] He says he can’t show these or he’ll get in trouble. - [Greg reads about the person who tried to get him SWATted, but the 9-1-1 operator knew it was fake because it happens so much they have Greg’s info.] Greg says this is the 19 cases people say there are. There are actually 19 calls. A long time ago someone said Sarah was murdered. When the cops came, Sarah answered the door. Says most of the times the cops don’t show up because it’s so ridiculous. The cops are probably sick of you guys and your false things. - He says when someone sent him powder in an envelope, it didn’t even make it to him. The post office almost shut down. They tested it and it turned out to be food product. They tried to make it appear like they mailed something that would end his life or the life of his family. Everybody thinks they’re a good guy if they do evil things to people they think are bad. Heroes confirm someone is guilty before they hurt them. The people that do these things are the real criminals. If someone gets shot when you get them SWATted, that’s on you. People are doing horrible things and there’s no accountability. The post office told him they were looking into the person that sent the powder because it may have been a federal crime. They told him because it wasn’t a distinguished threat, they are not sure if they are going to pursue it.

[x0401x]

Wow, I appreciate the essay that proved no point, thank you. I wonder how you could've mistaken I meant IN ALL YOUR POSTS when all I was talking about was how you literally just talked about MasaMina in the flower post. It's more beyond me how badly you comprehended my ask. The point abut me not giving sources is so you could look it up yourself because why would I let someone copy my hard-worked homework, noh? Maybe if you properly did research then you'd have a much proper analysis on it.

Anyway.

Honey, it seems you still don’t get it: you’re the one who made the claim, so you’re the one who has to prove your point, which you haven’t. You can’t just accuse someone of something without any argument and then tell them to prove otherwise. That’s not how it works.

Oh, that. I read “posts” by accident. I stayed up late to answer you, so my head wasn’t working straight. But I didn’t mistake any of the rest, so don’t try to generalize. Also, my answer remains the same. I don’t think I talked about them more than I should, because there isn’t a limit to how much I should talk about them. I’ll talk about them as much as I want because it’s my own post.

Lmfao, “hard-worked homework”. Right, visting a site is so much work. If you were actually trying to be constructive with these asks, you’d at least name the sources. All that happens if I google what I had already googled is that I find the exact same results, obviously. It’s impossible that you haven’t realized this much. Your claim remains baseless.

Also, don’t worry, I read your post through and through which is exactly why I knew how much of the post you were wrong. You even got some of the flowers wrong, most especially Masa-san’s. And moreover, I see no point, still, in putting them together, because as I’ve mentioned, they are individual characters and Kyoani gave them separate flowers. I don’t know how you automatically thought of them instead of generalizing the more important people around them unless you were clearly ship-biased.

Yet you were and still are so vague about it. Just tell me already what was wrong so I can fix it instead of repeating yourself like a broken disk.

The meanings of their flowers are directly linked to each other, and most of them represent the two at the same time. If I were to do what you say, at most, I’d only separate them by the flowers of the bonus artworks and write about the others as a set, but that doesn’t change the fact that the interpretations of one would cite the other so it makes no difference.

You don’t know why? I just told you in the examples from my previous answer.

“Generalizing the more important people around them”? Are you implying that there’s some sort of ranking of who’s more important to who and suggesting that Minato and Masaki’s relationship is less important to themselves than other relationships? Do you perhaps not realize that their relationship is the main one of the story? If so, then I can only assume that you didn’t read the novel.

I don’t really care much if you post MasaMina on end because I know you roll with that, but pushing it on a generalized post where EVERYONE is supposedly involved, I’m not sure what other un-rude term I could call it, tbh. I’m not even sure if I should be the one you should call a child between us i you’re the one who hates on something because your ship wasn’t involved in it. Of course, you would deny because you’re “so smart” but from the way you rant about it, it clearly shows. That’s sad.

It’s not a generalized post, whatever you mean by that. And I fail to see how all the characters being involved equals Masaki and Minato’s flowers having nothing to do with one another.

I would deny simply because it’s not true, lol. I’m not hating on anything, you are. I wouldn’t at all hate it if the symbolism around Minato and Masaki had nothing to do with each other, but it does and that’s not subjective. I already explained how they are involved, but I have no way of forcing it through your thick skull. If you don’t want to understand, you just won’t.

I don’t get why you keep trying to imply that I’m dumb or that I try to act intelligent. Your blatant dislike of my person is the most confusing part of your asks, tbh.

I wasn’t desperate to cover up anything, I know what I wrote you, I have copies in case tumblr deletes it, too ‘cause that happens. Maybe it was partial anon hate but also because I wanted to point out that your supposed analysis of a general thing for Tsurune is wrong and I felt bad for the people who saw/see it. Believing false information. I suggested disclaimer that it was still, nonetheless, your opinion because whether you studied it or not, the information is still not originally yours.

“Maybe” and “partial” are deliberate choices of wording. You indirectly insulted me, came up with accusations all of a sudden, literally tried to corner me, threw a fit because I didn’t reply right away, made false assumptions about me and acted extremely condenscending all along. It was anon hate. Don’t try to smooth it out and just say it like it is.

Stop trying to make it seem as if you being upset with it equals that a lot of people are upset. You’re the only one to ever complain about that post.

It’s not my opinion, and the information not coming originally from me doesn’t make it an opinion (it’s the opposite, actually). The information also doesn’t originally come from the people who host flower-related sites. Flower language has existed for literal centuries.

And I will repeat, interpretting Masa-san and Minato’s flowers are NOT IMPOSSIBLE. You just REFUSE to do it because you were, i don’t know, pushing your ship? You wanted to? But mind you, your post is Tsurune-general related. Masa-san and Minato don’t just have each other; they have families they love, friends they care for, any one of them cou;d’ve been what the flower is for. But you mainly focused on them for no valid reason. Wouldn’t you think that’s being rude?

It’s not rude, lol. That’s probably not the word you’re looking for. But no word of negative connotation applies here anyway.

So what if the post is about all the characters? I don’t see why that’s a reason for me not to relate their flowers to one another when they are, in fact, related. Besides, I talked more about them because there’s more symbolism surrounding them. Can’t help that 90% of the flower language used in the books is for their relationship.

Again, see the examples I used in my other response. Who was it that Masaki met in middle school and then met again as an adult? Whose smile is Minato weak to? There isn’t any other character who can be used as answer to these questions. This isn’t a matter of opinion. It’s literally what the author wrote.

You mentioned their bonds but neglected the relationship of the characs that appeared in the latter part of the flower post. I honestly couldn’t go past that post without reading about Masa-san and Minato but never really seeing other names get mentioned again. I didn’t mind my embarrassment tbh, if that’s anything to be embarrassed about. I just hope you’ll admit to being wrong for once, though. I’m not expecting an apology, but truth. Because I feel bad for the ones seeing your post.

I didn’t. I mentioned the team in Minato’s and Akihiro in Masaki’s Blu-ray artwork flowers. But I couldn’t see how anyone else applied to the flower language of the book.

Why do you keep repeating the things I said (and yet act like you’re not being childish)? I don’t have to apologize, lmao. You’re the offender here.

I’m certainly not wrong for interpreting things based on canon, and I write my posts the way I see fit, because my blog. Stop trying to force me into modifying my post to your wishes. That’s entitled as hell. Just make an account to write your own posts, if you really don’t have one, that is. Otherwise, die mad about me.

I appreciate you called me trying to point out your wrongs as assholery childishness. Now I’m just wondering if you’ll show my asks to prove you’re right or to prove I’m a child. I don’t really mind, I’m beyond it. As you’ve said, I am an asshole, best to live up with it, I don’t recall calling you anything, however. And to be clear, I’m not an anti-MasaMina before you point that out.

It’s assholery because you refuse to specify it and don’t present evidence to back it up, just keep saying that I’m wrong and biased. That’s not “pointing out” anything, it’s flaming, pure and simple.

Oh, so you think calling me names would be the only thing that defines it as assholery and anything else is fair game. That explains it all.

I don’t care whether or not you’re anti-MasaMina, honestly.

Okay, here they go:

Full of shade. Cue other three of those.

This one was doing fine, but then the tantrum started:

And then you came back pretending that nothing had happened:

I guess you’re gonna say that I should learn to take criticism or use some other bigoted argument. This is anon hate. Baseless, improductive, entitled and purely offensive. Case closed.

Funny the first one about the tag wasn't even mine. Oh I've read the novel, don't worry, it's kind of why I'm countering your opinions right now. I never said Masa-san and Minato's relationship was any less important but the story isn't even about them. The title says what the story is about. Masa-san is merely one of the many links of relationships Minato could have so the point stands. They're not a set. I'm more wondering if you've read it yourself.

Fixed that now.

Right, what the author writes is totally my opinion.

The story is literally about them. It’s literally the main relationship. What’re you even saying???

You say “merely” as if he doesn’t make that much of a difference when he was literally the trigger to everything.

You bet I did, that’s why I quote it directly all the time, which you don’t do ever.

I see that this discussion has no way of advancing because you don’t really seem to pay attention to my responses. My guess is that you’ll continue saying the same stuff, which would force me to do the same because there’s literally nothing else I can tell you.

I don’t mind answering other asks, but the flower post is out of question. It’s a waste of my time saying the same stuff again and again. This topic is over for me. Just refer back to the post and our whole discussion if you think otherwise.

[jimlingss]

I can't believe you ended chp 16 of Jp like that...i want to fight 😭

if you fight me, i’m guaranteed to be hospitalized ((look at these noodle arms)) and then who will post the next chapter on Monday? uh huuuh, that’s what I thought. Think twice before you wanna square up. (ง •̀_•́)ง

I am now answering spoiler-y messages below, so beware....

[SPOILER ALERT] 

*SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT**!SPOILER ALERT!*

Massive spoilers to come, please do not read if you have not yet read Jungle Park Chapter 16. Or go ahead and read if you’re chaotic like that.

Anonymous said: ok but what if oc and Hoseok were actually engaged....

I’m an idiot, anon - I accidentally deleted your ask before I copied it correctly lol oops, but ding ding ding! correct! you’re a winner!! i believe you sent me this message like 2 chapters ago and honestly you freaked me out by how accurate you were. dammit, I might’ve been too predictable, but you catch on quick. sorry i couldn’t answer sooner hahaha i couldn’t risk other people jumping on the same theory. you’re a genius tho, i’ll give you props for it.

Anonymous said: DATED!FOR 4 YEARS! ENGAGED! Omg wow shit really hit the fan like there is no coming back omg Wowoowoeoeoeooew I’m SHOOK like I never expected that like NEVER!!!

Anonymous said:I KNEW IT!!! i had a feeling it was either a really long relationship or they were engaged at one point. TURNS OUT IT WAS BOTH omg gahdhsjxbjsjs I'm so excited to see this all just unravel omgomgomgomg

kawaii-ing said: FhbsjshJuxYhUgrnziVJgdjsbdud JUNGLE PARK CHAPTER 16 JUST WRECKED ME YO 😱😱😱😱😱 HE KNOWS AND SHE DOESNT KNOW HE KNOWS IM SO CURIOUS FOR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW Btw lovvvveeee your writing, thanks for all your hard work boo xxx💜💜

ASDFGHJKL I SAID SHIT WOULD HIT THE FAN AND I FOLLOWED THROUGH, RIGHT?? AREN’T YOU PROUD! THERE’S NO CLICKBAIT ON THIS BLOG HAHAHA 

Anonymous said: omgg 4 years? ENGAGED?? I’m ??? jut WHAT happened

:O :O

Anonymous said: BROOOOOOO! THEY WERE ENGAGED :o *insert Pikachu meme*

pikachu meme?? hahaha is that a sarcastic surprise? so you weren’t actually? lolololol :O

Anonymous said: Ahh I loved jungle park 16!! I'm so excited for the angst to come 👀 is hoseok's car accident related to oc at all?

hmm guess you’ll have to wait and see ((but also just putting it out there that if it was related that would be pretty makjang and lol im not about that life with this series))

Anonymous said: (1)oh holy hell Kina,,,my head’s hurting bcs of JP:16. ENGAGED what?? huh. now its one of my fav chapters, like 4-6 (ah those innocent cute baby steps in hoseok’s&oc’s relationship,,,not THIS). but freaking FINALLY someone spilled the beans. i love this kind of scenes, THE truth revelation. chang’s unaware of storm hes causing with his words, hoseok’s world’s simply crushing, oc doesnt know yet whats happening&dae is helplessly watching from sidelines trying to stop the catastrophe&failing

Anonymous said:(2)thats sad. i kinda can imagine what hoseoks feeling now, plagued w question that almost no one’s willing to answer, that drive him crazy.what happened? why did oc hide the truth? what did i do, how bad did we hurt each other? why can’t i remember any of it fuck. its a perfect opportunity for insecurities&ugly thoughts&inner demons to poison his mind. and oc...her house of cards collapsed revealing things she was trying hard to escape. will she feign ignorance again or will she finally face it

Anonymous said:(3)i just hope that in the end after this storm theyll reach their own peace, whatever the outcome will be. past stays in past, but only if every issue is resolved. otherwise it might return later&be worse than before. it was a great chapter. thank you — chem

THE BEANS HAVE BEEN SPILLED!!! honestly the universe is in chaos right now lol Hoseok’s like the fuck....and oc doesn’t even know lol but yeah it’s definitely a sad situation for almost all parties. there’s still more to be revealed tho, like the actual details of what the fuck went on haha anyways, i’m glad you’re enjoying it!

Anonymous said: AAHHHHH ITS FINALLY HERE!! Thank you 💞💞. Wow it was truly a lot and honestly, I feel kinda scared for Hoseok... it’s crazy that he really doesn’t remember anything and learning all this new information is like being in another word. If this story wasn’t one about love and fluff, it could’ve totally turned into a horror story lol. Thank you again and I’m very excited to see where the story goes!!

a horror? can’t say im very good at the genre but that’s definitely an interesting concept....the more i think about it....like for someone to go through something suppper traumatic and not remember at all and someone appears in their life but it turns out that someone was actually the serial killer? dammmmn that would be really interesting. i digress, thank you for enjoying it. definitely Hoseok is lost, scared, confused.

Anonymous said: SHIT’S 🗣 HITTING 🗣 THE 🗣 FAN 🗣 omg *insert “she’s meditating” “she’s dead” meme* and the fact that this is just the beginning??? how?? what?? i’m honestly so skek for the next chapter like i dont think hoseok’s gonna go apeshit on yn but you never know now do you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ superb chapter for reals!!!! like, all of your writing is great but this chapter?? *chef’s kiss* didnt even know i was an angst fan until this chapter lol sending all my love to you!!! - chanting anon

hahhahahahhahaha there’s a lot more to unravel. now the puzzle has been exposed, we gotta start looking at the details. thank you for the message *throws chef’s kiss back* also welcome to the angst realm lol

Anonymous said: finals starts at the 20th and school ends in the 24th and we're still at chap 1 on our research. Due to stress, i thought, hey, might as well read the latest chapter bUT WHO KNEW IT WOULD BRING ME MORE STRESS. FOUR YEARS?! ENGAGED?! i feel like hoseok right now. You make such awesome stories and worlds. It affects me in so many good ways i cant even. i dont always give you my thoughts per chapter but i want you to know that i scream at every single one of them. have a nice day! - anon h.a.n.d.

oh my goodness!!! good luck on your exams!! hahah im sorry the chapter isn’t very much comfort food and kind of more wild but still happy you enjoyed it! 

Anonymous said: PT. 15 & 16?! WHAT. I COME BACK TO TWO CHAPTERS. HOLY COW. but really, like now that I know what I know, I’m so sad. I wonder what their relationship was like. That’s a lot of time to invest in someone and for it to fall apart like that... I couldn’t imagine what OC had to go through. I’m sad BUT THE DEVELOPMENT IS MAKING ME SO FREAKIN EXCITED. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US SOME ANSWERS ABOUT THE PAST. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW MUCH ELSE HE FINDS OUT.

I KNOW RIGHT?? LIKE FOUR YEARS IS A FUCKING LONG TIME. then again that was like 8 years ago. but yeah, it’s sad for both oc and Hoseok, y’know? I’M GLAD YOU’RE EXCITED!!!

Anonymous said: Great Jungle Park chapter! I'm pissed because SOMEONE SPOILED IT and i saw they were engaged before i could even click on the 'read more',,, but great chapter! I wish i could've read it without knowing, it kinda made me sad and it was not as great as it could have been.. @people spoiling, fuck off >:(( @you you're the best writer ily u nice keep going!! Can't wait to have Hoseok's full mind process over how crazy it is he doesn't remember 4 YEARS and an ENGAGEMENT (and only 2 dates huhu)

haha chill, anon. did you actually know that spoilers can make someone enjoy a story more? it’s actually a really interesting thing to google and find out more about. the chapter’s still the same whether you had an inkling of what was going on or not. you still enjoyed it too, right?  :D 

Anonymous said: CRAP OK, well, we knew it was something more than two days, but HONESTLY lol I love how you wrote y/n trying to keep it together. I could feel her fear as she lost control of the situation when Hoseok showed up. Do you think in her mind she even slightly expected him to show up? I'm assuming she's very internal w/ her thoughts/feelings seeing as she doesn't talk to anyone about what happened between her & Hobi all those years ago nor has she dealt w/ it, mostly just avoided it, would you say?

oh yeah oc was on the verge of a mental breakdown when he showed up rofl, damn near scared her. he was basically like a jumpscare LOL. but yeah for sure she didn’t expect him to come. i mean she basically told him and he was like ‘ok whatever’ and didn’t express interest and it’s not like he got an invite so she didn’t know he would actually go out of his way to show up. and yeah i agree, oc’s very internal with her feelings, or at least what happened all those years ago. it’s sensitive issues anyway that she’s left behind. or at least tried to.

tofugguk said: BROOO i LITERALLY— LITERALLY LOST IT. WHEN CHANGSUB DROPPED THEM BEING TOGETHER FOR LIKE FOUR YEARS THEN THE- “You guys even got engaged.” PART I SCREAMED. YOOOOO I CANTTT HANDLE THIS

Changsub isn’t the dumbass that we wanted. But the dumbass we needed.

((don’t you love how oc tried so hard to keep it a secret for like 16 chapters aka like near a year and some idiot comes trapezing in and in his first scene he just spills all the beans??? hahahha))

[yeswevegotavideo]

Support AO3, or don't, but leave it the fuck alone

(I wrote this rant quite a while ago and never posted it, but seeing as people are On That Bullshit again, I figured it was time.) 

I feel like people (you know which) who bitch about AO3 holding fundraisers to support their business, even though said business hosts content they don't approve of, are rather analogous to anti-vaxxers, or anti-unionists.

The online fanfiction world before OTW/AO3 was much more dangerous and much less regulated and much harder to control, and innocent people were getting hurt all over the place.

Content creators could destroy other people's work with impunity under "copyright infringement" claims that weren't even valid. Web hosts could discover that a fic writer was posting written erotica or fanfiction in general (see copyright infringement above), on their servers (usually after being alerted to it by someone with a grudge) and respond by taking down their website, deleting their work, and banning their IP. They didn't even have to tell you if they did this, you could discover it by accident. And this happened a lot, because companies were skittish about anything even potentially legally problematic, so they erred on the side of enormous banhammers.

And on the fan creation side, there were no real content standards. There was no way to know whether what you were reading was potentially triggering. Tagging wasn't a thing. Warnings weren't standardized. There was no system, no way of either protecting yourself OR your work. And trying to find things you wanted to see was sometimes even harder, and involved associating with people you might not want to. I entered fandom (at 17, I might add) at a time when the primary way to get fanfic was through Yahoo!groups. Message boards. I had no control over who I did and didn't have contact with. I honestly don't even remember if there WAS a way to block people. And there were definitely some creeps. There were definitely some people I would never want to associate with.

When the OTW was created, it set out to fix both of these problems at once. The legal side dealt with the fair use and transformative aspects of fanwork, and AO3 dealt with the content moderation aspect. And I think they've done a damn good job with both. Of course it's not perfect, nothing is perfect, but the fact that I can go to AO3 right now and filter out just about anything I don't want to see with extremely good results tells me that they've achieved what they set out to achieve.

But people who weren't here for the before don't see the former world. Anti-vaxxers don't think of disease as a threat because they haven't been exposed to it. Anti-unionists think unions are worthless because they weren't there for life before the 40 hour work week and child labor laws. They only see what they can criticize now.

And beyond that, they come to their criticism with misinformed, ignorant, and harmful ideas about how the whole thing works. Like anti-vaxxers and their autism myth, and anti-unionists and their worship of capitalism, these people have a worldview that, frankly, scares the shit out of me.

They seem genuinely convinced that writing about something means fully endorsing it. That only the sick and twisted and perverted would ever, could ever, write offensive or gross things, write about characters who enjoy those things, explore scenarios that would be horrific in reality. That fiction not only influences and is influenced by society, but creates reality, IS reality. That abstract concepts in a story are, themselves, crimes against humanity equivalent to rape and murder. That these things ARE rape and murder. That writing a story that doesn’t explicitly condemn rape or abuse is not only endorsement but incitement. As if fiction writers were causing these things to happen in real life, to real people. They’ve said as much. If you write rape fantasies, you’re a rapist. If you write incest, you’re a pedophile. Period, end-of, no gray area, no exceptions. Though of course, the only writers for whom this is true are fanfiction writers.

Funny how they’re not going after the published authors like this. Is anyone seriously going around calling Stephen King a pedophile because IT has a weird, uncomfortable and frankly unnecessary child orgy in it? Because it totally does, for some weird fucking reason. (Coke. The reason was lots, and lots, of coke. Also the 70s.) He made thousands of dollars off of that story, he will collect royalties on it for the rest of his life. But no, he’s fine, we can leave his career alone, his book can stay on the shelf. We should definitely instead destroy the unpaid passion project of some 40-year-old housewife who writes out her fantasies to feel just a little less alone, some 16-year-old abuse victim trying to make sense of the things currently happening to her, some 25-year-old receptionist whose only escape from her soul-crushing job is exploring the inner workings of human dynamics through the characters she most resonates with, or finds the most fascinating, or most inspire her to write. These are the real villains, am I right?

AO3 protects ALL OF FANDOM and yes, this includes the unsavory and the distasteful, because it must. Because content censorship is creative death. Once an authority is allowed to decide what is and isn’t acceptable subject matter, it’s a matter of time before those subjective, arbitrary decisions start affecting people it shouldn’t. What happens when one of the decision makers goes power-mad? When they get into a disagreement with a writer and decide, oops, all their shit is banned, and anyone who commented positive things on their stories is banned, too. When somebody gets hired to do the job, and you know what they really find inappropriate and gross? Interracial dating. When somebody decides to erase all the stories involving the “wrong” kind of trans person. Or all trans people. It’s not remotely farfetched to imagine something like this happening. One trip to Fanlore and you can find dozens of incidents like it in the past. Over, and over, and over.

And the thing is, once these tools are put into place, they are never, ever only used as intended. They are never, ever only used to the benefit of the “good guys”. We don’t want censorship on AO3 for the same reason we don’t want a leftist president with unlimited power - because the people in charge today might not be the people in charge tomorrow. Because no one should be allowed that kind of authority, even people we agree with. Because humans are fallible and make mistakes and make bad choices, and we have no choice but to let them, but we sure as hell can prevent them from doing too much damage.

Writing down a rape fantasy that someone is already fucking having because they are among the most common sexual fantasies on the fucking planet does not cause tangible harm. Destroying someone’s creative outlet? Tangible fucking harm.

These people want to take away the only bastion against the wider world that fandom has, because a small percentage of it contains upsetting, triggering ideas. Not calls for action, not instruction manuals, not advocations - just ideas, put together to make stories. The site HAS self-censoring mechanisms, that's one of the reasons for its existence, but the ability to actively avoid the content they don’t want to see isn’t enough for them. That scares me, and it should scare you, too. Because once they decide you’re “problematic”, you’re next.

Because they are advocating for authoritarianism, and authoritarianism is not your friend.