#this satisfied a craving for unique colors and such lol

[fawfulydoo]

live forever

[gukieater]

Get to know me!

Thank you for the tag @yoongsisbae

It's late, I love yaaa and I love you more after getting the little insight of how are you in real life ♥️🤎💜

when is your birthday?

It's 4th of June

what is your favorite color?

black & green

what’s your lucky number?

I don't believe in numbers being lucky.

do you have any pets?

I used to. I had pet dogs, cat and rabbits too. Ever since I moved to the city I never adopted one because I don't think they deserve to live in such confinements. It's cruel enough for humans already.

how tall are you?

5'6" or 171 cm

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

I have about 4-5 working pairs. Too few? I'll tell you why-

I don't particularly enjoy the hastle of going to shopping so I shop online a lot and shoe hunting online isn't exactly endearing.

I have freakishly large feet which turns shopping for shoes into a nightmare. Plus I don't usually buy stuff unless it's absolutely necessary so 4-5 shoes in a cycle is more than enough for me.

favorite song?

There are manyyyyyy. So I'll just mention the one which instantly popped into my mind that is Roslyn by Bon Iver and St. Vincent.

favorite movie?

Uhh that's a tough one too. So I'll mention the last 3 movies I watched and enjoyed.

At the end of the tunnel (Spanish movie)

Bad Genius (Thai movie)

Girlboss (Netflix original)

what would be your ideal partner?

Hmm, never gave it a lot of thought tbh. Maybe someone who feels grateful to have me in his life, open minded, not afraid of commitment and willing to work for the relationship to work rather than give up on the smallest inconvenience ( I'm basically describing my opposite personality because lord knows I have some deep deep commitment issues). He could be boring for all I care just open enough to let me live my life on my own terms that doesn't violate our relationship. I really wouldn't care how he is with other people, boy gotta be good to me if it's gotta work.

do you want children?

I do I guess. They seem adorable when they are other people's.

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

Nada. I'm the goody two shoes when it comes down to laws and order.

what color socks are you wearing?

I hate socks

bath or shower?

Skinny dip.

favorite type of music?

I don't have any specific genre I like.

how many pillows do you sleep with?

3

which position do you sleep in?

on my right side.

what don’t you like when you’re sleeping?

When somebody touches me while I'm sleeping or getting woken up suddenly, gives me a mean headache.

what do you have for breakfast?

Bread/oats, fruit,

have you ever tried archery?

Yes, I'm terrible at it. Good with shooting though

favorite fruit?

Mango, strawberry, grape.

favorite swear word?

Bloody hell, dafuq plus tons of native shit ( it always feels satisfying to cuss at your local dialect)

do you have any scars?

So many!

are you a good liar?

Depends 👀

what’s your personality type?

The silent observer, mediator, caregiver.

what’s your favorite type of girl?

A girl who knows her worth and carry her head high

left or right handed?

Right handed

favorite food?

Cheese cake, I'm bloody craving some now. Besides I've been raving on meatbox these days.

are you clean or messy?

I love things clean but then again I'm too lazy. So somewhere in between.

favorite foreign food?

RN it's poutine. Shits good

how long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends. It can be 10 minutes 3 hrs, depending on the occasion.

most used phrase?

'Aishhh' [apparently too many things tends to go sideways and I watched one too many k drama's]

are you a good singer?

No Susan, I'm not. I'm terrible at it.

do you sing to yourself?

Hardly

biggest fear?

dying before I did enough

do you like long or short hair?

Both

are you into gossips?

I find it rather annoying.

extrovert or introvert?

Ambivert

favorite school subject?

In school, chemistry ( I used to thrive in this shit). In college, physics. In university, psychology ( I took it as a minor course although I'm an engineering major, LOL)

what makes you nervous?

Pretty people ( they literally get me shaking on my knees)

who was your first real crush?

I really don't remember really. I hardly get crush on a real person ( yep I have pretty fucking unrealistic criteria for a crush)

how many piercings do you have? how fast can you run?

2 ( in my ears and my nose)

what makes you angry?

When people blame me for something I didn't do and when I don't get the due appreciation for something I did ( I freaking bask in appeasement)

do you like your own name?

I love it. It's unique.

do you like your own name?

I mean, I didn't get to choose it.

what are your weaknesses?

I feel care and think too much. So people become tempted to take advantage of that and I get hurt. And the worst aftermath is I forget too soon.

what are your strengths?

I know which battle to pick for fighting. I know when to speak and when not to and it takes a lot to baffle me.

what is the color of your bedspread?

Murky Maroon

color of your room?

Beige cream I guess?

I'm tagging my lovelies 💜 @sunshyngal @candlewaxandp0lar0ids @craztextae @go1denjeon @eureka-its-zico @bibbykins @writemywaytoyourheart @aajjks @hollyhomburg @xherxx

[michams]

VIXX “Scentist” analysis based on “Perfume”, by P. Suskind PART III – The tracklist

“Scentist” is definitely one of my favorite songs/ music videos/ concepts in kpop so last year, when I got to know it was based on a book, I went after and read it. Since then I’ve been wanting to share an analysis focused on more direct references to Suskind’s story.

In PART III, I’ll be giving my interpretation on how the tracks in the album fit the same concept.

*You can check “Part I” for my description of the story (or the book itself) to understand them a little better and also see my thoughts on the lyrics of “Scentist” on “Part II”!

*Sorry again for the long post (I talk too much lol)! :)

Some considerations i. I didn’t originally read the book in English, so I’m using my own translations – wich can differ from other editions.

ii. This is somewhat a personal interpretation; one could read the same book and have different opinions. Feel free to tell me your thoughts about it :^)

iii. Considering that I’m basing this off of a translation and that neither Korean or English are my first languages, it influences in my interpretation.

iv. As referred before, English is not my first language. Feel free to let me know about any mistakes.

v. Mind that this analysis contains SPOILERS of the book.

vi. This post makes reference to sensitive subjects (such as violence), like the book itself.

Intoduction As I’ve explained in Part II, it’s possible to find several references through the lyrics of “Scentist” that contextualize the story of the main character Grenouille, focusing mainly is some of the episodes. But, paying attention to all of the tracks in EAU DE VIXX, we realize all of them add on to work as a complement to the plot.

In my opinion, most of them were made based in themes that can be found as parts of the construction of the book.

I’ll try to explain what’s each of these central points (with exception to “Good Day”, “Navy and Shining Gold” and “Resemble”(닮아)).

◄◄  ▋▋ ►►….NOW PLAYING –VIXX 3rd ALBUM “EAU DE VIXX”….

TRACK 2: ODD SENSE – The title track wannabe

From a starting point, a thought I had about this song is that, if this album was not inspired by a dark story, and “Perfume” was about a sexy relationship based in scents, “Odd Sense” would have been “Scentist”. And this is one of best forms I can describe it! In a way it’s a kind of twin opposite to the title track.

While “Scentist” is focused on the dark side of his fixation, “Odd Sense” is about intense attraction, approaching more a way of satisfying that compulsion – as, in my opinion, the title track is more observative, more of a threatening idealization of his object of fascination.

It could be very well a representation of a closer look into Grenouille’s logic behind his actions or feelings. The way his extremely sensible ability of smelling (that “Odd sense”) causes him to be completely driven by a hopeless desire or passion.

Again, if we compare: “Scentist” is almost about how he suffers from that longing (and it’s methodical), while “Odd Sense” is about how he is delighted by that provocation (it’s impulse).

It is as if his addiction feeds on itself – which we can see through the lyrics, such as: “Shake hard, I just get more addicted”;

“I crave it, it’s fine if I lose my breath I desire it more, I’ll destroy it with you” or

“Fall into the light that only I can see Like an intense addiction keep breathing in”

Both lyrics go deep in the matter of desire.

But that’s also a self consuming way of living for him (just like the story in the book develops itself), the more he approaches his objectives: “Filled with your scent, I just go crazy You come to me, come closer to me Fill me with your scent, it’s fine even if I disappear”

The two tracks share some things: I believe both surround similar episodes of the book – his seclusion at the cave, where he “drinks up” his scent’s memories; his discovery and chase after the special fragrances (and its owner).

Also common to “Scentist”, there are several repetitions to the idea of permeation. There are also associations with color and light.

What’s interesting for me, is how we completely shift the emotion and impression of the songs by changing the melody and tone.

TRACK 3: SILENCE – The hopeless love

In my opinion, all of the songs can be connected to a fantasy inside Grenouille’s imagination motivated by his (longing for) love – even he says it’s only for the sake of getting the scents.

“Silence” seems to address a hopeless love, once the idealized person he desires “cannot” respond. After all, he’s the one obsessed with something they are not even aware of – in a disturbingly intense way. The love and attention he seeks gives of a sort of reflective feeling. Since he does not have a smell for himself, but keeps on being bewitched by these special fragrances, he figures that’s the way to be loved – to be just like them. And we must remember that, for him, what characterized something in the world as despicable or worthy of affection, was the smell. That’s his unique way of understanding the world. So he is lead to believe that’s a solution (which shows to be slightly true and impossible – due to his specific ability – throughout the book).

The lyrics seem to express the frustration in not being able to be part of this connection, as it looks like he’s wishing to worship that feeling but always ends up destroying it, driven by the pressure caused by his impulsiveness. “The silence suffocates me” and “I’m a Medusa there’s only silence left for my ears” (the idea he kills what he “lays his eyes on”, also interesting due to the repetion of “keep an eye on it babe”, during the song).

He also indicates a belief that he needs that girl to be set free from that prison – and that he’ll for sure accomplish that. “I wait for you While turning round and round in this quietness”

“It seems like you have something too It seems like I’ll have it”

And, at the same time, he’s scared of showing the “imcomplete” and imperfect Grenouille he is without it: “Don’t look at me locked in darkness Imprisoned in silence”

TRACK 4 and 5: MY VALENTINE and CIRCLE – The idealistic love

As we must have realized by now, our main character has some serious problems discerning limits between wanting and getting.

I believe these two tracks stress the idea of how he thinks of these scents (and consequently, in a way, their owners) as complements to his existence. When brought in line with everything worked, that turns into a delusion for an idealistic love. It also revolves to his conception of making them/the girls eternal through a perfume, and his own temporal pace – which seems to operate a little differently, like “true love”.

Like shown in “My Valentine”: “Alone I’m incomplete, emptiness becomes routine”

“Say it one more time That I am everything, that you’ve never stayed In forever like this”

It’s also indifferent for him if they are real or kept in his inner kingdom, as memories (even more connected to idealization): “Whether my eyes are closed or open As long as you are somewhere in my world, it’s fine”

And, once again, that self consumption, that goes along with a similar line in “Odd Sense”, ans points, after all, to and absence of self love; which completes that cycle of needing something to reflect on – the girls: “It’s fine if I disappear while chasing after you”

“Circle” adds up to that conviction that they are a perfect match: “There’s no error when you add us together” and “I want to believe it It’s u and me”

It’s nice to note that the circle symbolism makes reference to perfection, totality, eternity, cycles and even God – which it’s a sort of image the boy had of himself.

TRACK 7: ESCAPE – Grenouille, the runaway by excellence

If we pay attention, Grenouille was, somehow, always on the run. He was getting away from the people who didn’t want him around (and the people he didn’t want around). And most of the book is based of on the story of his journey.

Some of the most remarking ways we see that are: when he goes on a trip in search for learning but, amidst his desperation to get rid of the suffocating human smell, self-isolates in a far mountain. After a long time in there, a need for running away from himself is evoked and he begins a new search in order to, ultimately, transform who he was. When he is targeted as the culprit and, at the end, again drowned is his own thoughts, from his existence.

The lyrics also brings us to think that the internal weight he was constantly under caused a desire to escape. A side of him that wants to get away from that domination he couldn’t control – which was still his inner persona as well. Grenouille’s biggest battle was against himself and the conflicts between his desires, his actions and sudden clashes with reality. The practical importance of his goal versus the limit he can endure.

“The memories we’ve gone through Have no special meaning to me But I’m not saying the time that I loved you Was a lie”

It also reveals his fear of showing himself and of failure – so it’s better to give up and flee: “But if you saw me like this, you would probably have left me”

TRACK 8: TRIGGER – The lack of self control

Lastly, “Trigger” also touches on the topic of the struggle with self. In this track, he assumes he is not the one in charge of taking choices. He’s guided to act by a foreign sort of force (or so he believes).

It also resonates with the concept of playing with desire, but also expecting for it to hit you. He wants to be “shot”, he challenges that force to provide him the feeling the keeps him focused on his objective, like a dangerous game, that requires a proper timing (because, once more, this is a self sufficient obsession). “Like when you have only one shot to hit a target I’m just waiting for you”

In another way, it’s about finding a motive that comes from outside to justify something that’s actually internal. “You stole me in one short moment I even helplessly surrendered”

and “Your focus on me, your choice of me”

Again, if we reflect on the notion of time in this work, “Trigger” strangely looks like, deep inside, in a fraction of second (maybe when he first started detecting the first fragrance in the streets of Paris), there was a part of Grenouille that foresaw what was coming in his way. This song sounds like a prevision of the future and an expectation of “destiny”.

This could have been caused by his unconsciousness, since that was one of the things he expressed aspire – a deeper meaning to being alive. “Our beginning is up to you” and “Shoot accurately at me, leave a trace of yourself So that it can’t be undone, so that I can’t deny it”

Concluding... In my opinion, EAU DE VIXX is a really impressing album when we stop to look at how everything was constructed and put together to form unity around the concept “Perfume” presents.

The lyrics and the vibe the songs express are always in sync with Grenouille’s dark mind, his inner conflict; but also the elegance, detail, nuances or intensity involving the world of perfumes and scents.

Thank you so much for reading! I plan on continuing with this and analyze the other aspects related to “EAU de VIXX”, so please wait for it!

References used: - Book: Perfume, the story of a murderer; by P. Suskind (2007 ed., Editora Record). - 빅스(VIXX) - ‘향 (Scentist)’ Official M/V (YouTube). - Film: Perfume, the story of a murderer (2006). - Translations by TRANSLATED VIXX team (translatedvixx.tumblr.com/lyrics).

[latina4rmbx]

Tomorrow isn’t Promised

I saw an ad for a game on Facebook.  A clip really.  There were couples staring at each other.  Some crying, some laughing nervously.  All I remember was this one profound question:  "If this were to be our last conversation, what is one thing you’d never want me to forget?”

A seed was born from the question.  I figured, I’d ask people.  At first, I asked the closest people to me, then I expanded the circle.  Needless to say, I freaked a whole bunch of people out.  Before I get to the responses I want you to know that a lot of these are deeply personal, so I will not include names.  Some people who follow me on here, MAY know some of the individuals, but not all. 

I am NOT sick.  I am totally ok.  I found the question so profound, I HAD to ask it.  I have no regrets.

If there was a way to share all of the screen shots, I swear I would but trust me, there were just so many.

Some people responded with just 1 thing.  Some people responded with long beautiful messages.  They are all appreciated and I will forever hold them dear to my heart.

All, but 4 people, received a response to the question from me.  I won’t divulge my responses because as soon as I pressed send, they no longer belonged solely to me.  Just know a good response for most was:  you made me cry.  

I’ll be typing the responses to the question.  Some people gave multiple responses so I may give both.  

I had a conversation with my confidante and she says that this is amazing.  Sort of like a living eulogy. She asked me if I knew these things the people were saying.  I explained to her that in truth, I never really thought about it.  In the end I learned 2 valuable lessons: 

Younger males mainly speak of themselves.

You never really know the profound impact you have had on another persons life.  You’ll see what I mean.

Without further ado, here are the responses, in no particular order:

To value your worth.  To never forget that I love you and the kids.  That you’re a great writer.  A great friend.  A great mother.  I can’t name just one.  Don’t forget to give your friends a blanket.

That I love you & I know I was difficult growing up but I always loved you even when it might’ve felt like I didn’t.  And that I forgive you.

That I greatly appreciate your genuine friendship and you will always hold a special place in my heart.  and that’s the truth.

That I love you

How much I love you

How genuine and good-hearted you’ve always been, no matter what life has thrown at you.  Your situation never changed your heart, in Janee’s words, you’ve stayed golden.

One thing?  That I love you.

That I love you.  Why are you talking like that?

That I am always here for you and that I have and have always had. nothing but love for you.

Sheesh, I don’t know if I interpreted this question correctly but:   If this is our last conversation because you are on your death bed I would say:  In life, it sometimes feels like the world was simply horrible.  Nothing was good and it was full of hate and anger.  Thank you for being someone that gave hope just by being her positive self.  I know that because you were my hope when the world seemed horrible with simple gestures.  May not have changed the world, but it saved me some days.  If it was because we fell off or some other shit:  You was always lit.  Stay golden.  Don’t change for nobody.  I wish you the best.

I’m your child.  No matter how much u deny me !!  and I love you!

I appreciate all the kindness and support you’ve always shown me.

I would want you to know how much I love you and how much you’ve impacted my life in such a positive manner.  How much I love that you’re not just my aunt but you’re like my best friend, and how I feel that you out of most people understand me on a different level.

You prob the funniest chick I know the pleasure of knowing.  There’s your one thing.

Omg don’t say that but I would say you are a beautiful person inside and out and the world is a better place because you are in it.  You have a beautiful family and friends that love you.

Id never want you to forget how much I GENUINELY appreciate our conversation.  How you were there for me and gave me so much words of wisdom when I was going thru the worst time of my life.  How you satisfied my craving of violets when I was pregnant with Mychael..and how much you make me laugh thru social media because you are so funny!

That you really will be missed and that I wish our friendship happened sooner so I’ll have more time with you!!!  You are greatly appreciated.

I love you with all of my heart.  You’re an inspiration to me.  Words could not describe what you are to me.  More than a cousin, more than a sister.  Awilda Lee was the brightest thing in our lives when she came along. Thank. you for her.  Thank you for having unconditional love for me that my Wela had.  I have very fond memories at 533.  You’re in almost all of them.  From music out the window to your word processor and all your CD’s. My love of music comes from you.

That I love you like MY blood sister!

Us when we was living with grandma on 139th street, while you play Richard Marx “i’ll be Right Here Waiting for You.”  Til this day when I hear that song I see you playing it. I love you.

That Jesus loves you so much He gave His life for you in order to offer you forgiveness for all the wrong you’ve done & a way for you to live with Him eternally in His presence & that its. never to late to give him a change because He’s always by you waiting.

That you are very loved.  Good morning honey.

Jesus loves you!

If this were my last conversation with you I would want you to never forget that you are an amazing person from the first time I met you as Dr. D secretary til now, the only thing that has changed is your hair color and your age lol.  I genuinely have love for you.  Your free spirit and outspokenness is always welcome in my world.  I know you said one thing but I had more than one thing lol.  Oh and you’re a bomb writer.  So when you publishing your 1st book?

That you were an amazing friend that honestly left an imprint in my life.

What an awesome job. you’ve done with Joaquin!!

Morning lol your smart mouth and trouble shooting skills.

I wouldn’t want you to forget how absolutely amazing I think you are.  You were there for me when I needed you most.  Helping me with my son and a shoulder to cry on.  For that, I will be forever grateful.

Fine.  I’d want you to never forget that not only do we have the same teeth, that we’re cousins on both sides of our family and that you’re first daughter looked exactly like me when she was younger.  And that although we don’t speak much, I love you more than anything.

My gap

That I love and you’re my favorite person in life and I am grateful that God put us together and I hope we together in the next life too.

How hard we laughed together.

How I never judged anyone.  Good morning. (I think they mean how u, meaning me, never judged anyone)

How much I love you.

How much I love and appreciated you.  

How valuable I feel our friendship is and how much your wisdom and guidance has helped me in very difficult times.  I appreciate and love you very much.

That I love you

That although growing up we were not close.  I still have a great deal of love for you and I absolutely enjoy every single lil time we share together.  and our sex talk at times (they meant we talk about it, not that we talk it to each other)

That I love you.  That you are special strong funny.

That you are love

That I love you unconditionally because you are extremely unique.

That you have a warm and tender heart and a fierce outer shell.  You are an incredibly strong and smart woman.

That you are an absolutely amazing human being & that you deserve all the happiness and love that this world has to offer.  Never stop smiling.

That I love you and everything about you.

You will forever be my favorite bookworm.  You’ve written your own book in my life.  “That loyal friend” by OV.  You speak my love language you always have and I am just as honored to have you in my corner.  I love you. my dear friend.  Sincerely, KR.

Everyday of my. younger life, all I wanted to do was find you guys!  Once I did, I felt I was becoming complete!  Meeting you guys when you y’all came to Cali was EVERYTHING I could have asked for and more!  You guys are ones I work for EVERYDAY!  Once I make this generational wealth, I got y’all!  I promise you that!

I know it’ll sound cliche but I don’t thin you will ever truly know and understand how truly and deeply I care and love you.  You helped pull me out of really dark place, you are an amazing soul.  You are one of the rare ppl that i actually think of when i think of love and friendship and i thank you for being a part of my life.

That you’re my Binobo (a species of monkey - look it up)

When I would nag you on the 1st of the month.

That you should never forget how much you are loved.  That your generosity of spirit and goodness far surpasses any flaws.  That you are sooooo much more worthy, than you think you are.  That I would never want you to settle for anyone who isn’t a really good person to you and the kids.  Most importantly, I would pass on something that my Great Aunt once told me to always remember...If it doesn’t bring you peace, then it isn’t from God.  In my experience, those words have always proven true.  You know in your heart and it your gut - there is a very definitive, distinct sense of peace, when things are right.  God only wants that sense of calm and joy, and He gave us the instinct to recognize the difference. (AMEN!)

I truly don’t like the tone of this question.  But it would be your honesty.  You’ve always been so open and honest about your story and it was a breath of fresh air for me.

Your humor and smile is always up lifting.

Awwwww.  You are my counselor.  You always have the best advice you are the sassiest glamma I know and the queen of essential oils lol.  you add a special something to the world that only you can.  A tell it like it is type of chick, who always keeps it 100%.  It’s been such a pleasure having you in my world.

If it’s a thought about you, it wold be that I thought were smarter, funnier and at least a little better looking than the average bear.  If it’s a memory, besides the short jokes and dancing, I would want you to remember, well it’s a toss up.  Remember the time I lied about cooking food I brought in lunch, that it was really Lydia who made it, and she busted me.

I’d say thank you for being the parents that you are and thank you for allowing me to influence your little treasure and for keeping in contact with me.

Don’t forget to put me in your will.  Lol just playing.  That I love you of course.

How much I love you and thank you for always being neutral even if you’re his coworker lol.

I’d want you to know...While there is a great physical distance between us, I feel close to you.  I love that you had a special relationship with my mom and hope that we can have our own.  Big hugs to you.

1.  That I love you.  2.  that I would like you to raise my kids if anything happened to me or my wife.

That my heart was pure whether they were good or bad to me.  To be honest I just want people to know that I’ve always been a good soul and did my best to be there for those who needed me, just a selfless individual.

You’re the best grandma Saniyah will have from marriage you love her like she’s really your daughters child and I love it.  wouldn’t want it any other way.

Nuestra amistad (TRANSLATION: our friendship)

I love you

Never forget that I love you and God is good.

I don’t want it to be our last conversation but one thing that i don’t want you to forget is that you called me Thunderbuddy.

That I love you.  That you’re an amazing person!  Wait that’s two things right?  LOL

Never forget who got you high.

1.  Don’t forget to brush your teeth (stephen’s voice) 2>. Don’t forget to keep being unapologetically yourself.

How cute and funny I am lol

I wouldn’t want you to forget the laughs we’ve shared.  Our birthday body suits.

Thank you for reading,

XOXO