#this should all be going in my journal but im feeling daring and posting instead

[dragqueenpentheus]

ouGh

[femmefatalevibe]

hello! ive gone through some of your posts and i gotta say, you give pretty solid advice. i hope your own life is also going as smoothly as the advice giving! ❤

i was wondering if i could ask your opinion, as much as you can offer it to a stranger from the internet.... i know its not easy to give meaningful advice on complicated matters to total strangers.

im 29, i have a very good degree and a decent job, i am not more insane or annoying than an average person and i look just fine. i do however have a problem finding a long term partner. ive been working very hard at uni/later as an intern so it didnt leave much time for a rich social life and lot of dating. i also had the misfortune of spending several years in a very unhealthy relationship when i was about 20, young and stupid. several years of determined singleness followed immediatelly after that.

so now that im old and less stupid, ive tried dating apps, ive tried going out for drinks with acquaintances but never more than 2 or 3 times with the same guy. i do have high standards... and im a smart independent woman which im told is not extremely popular with men. anyway.

i recently met a guy 1 year younger than me who works in the same profession but is only just starting, in contrast to me being a bit of a bitter old veteran. ive been kind to him as one is to new people, and hes been slightly smitten with me as a result, if i dare guess so. we went out for drinks a few times, he seems sweet, kind and doesnt harbor any extremist political beliefs (its important to me not to date fascist-sympathisers). thats all very nice but unfortunately he doesnt exactly look very attractive to me. i feel good around him bc he is kind and lovely but i think i have too much edge and that he couldnt handle my darker sides (lots of cynism, LOTS) bc he is sich a sweet summer child. and i also feel that i havent yet lived wildly and slept around and experienced all the instant gratification options life has to offer, definitelly not enough to just drop everything and consider a serious relationship with someone who doesnt feel like ive won the dating lottery (its bc of certain personal problems hes told me of having, and its bc of the looks. im an impossibly visually-oriented person. and shallow.)

so i am very tempted to slowly explore this and the options it could offer (for example a serious relationship) but i also feel like i might be setting myself up for failure and him for a lot of heartbreak. whatever should i do?

until now ive only ever continued dating people i was really attracted to... sometimes despite their dubious political beliefs. so actually this might be the new strategy that would yield positive results, dating someone for their impeccable moral standards and kindness rather than a pronounced jawline. (am i, deep down, really that shallow?)

this got long and tedious, i wont blame you if you chuck it in the bin instead of reading and answering. maybe all i needed was to write it out. might need to use my journal bit more often.

thank you for your time and efforts in any case. take care!💕

Hi love! Thanks for your kind words and support. Firstly, from how you describe yourself, I could totally see us being friends – we seem to have similar beliefs, values, and priorities when it dating comes to dating (no fascists allowed, career-oriented, endless cynicism, and making a pronounced jawline a top criterion of a date night lol).

Here's my take – given the information you so kindly and vulnerably shared with me:

If you're still single, there's no reason to make the prospect of dating (generally or casually dating a specific person) into a black-and-white experience. You can casually date as many people as you would like until you mutually decide to be exclusive with someone. Think of dating as a networking experience: It's a chance to meet and connect with various types of people. They can become (business or pleasure, in this case) partners, friends, acquaintances, or connectors to others who will soon become members of your close inner circle (maybe even a further partner or spouse – who knows!).

You can decide to date different people for different reasons. Sometimes, you just want good conversation and decide later that you're better off as friends. Exploring the emotional intimacy aspect of a relationship with someone of the gender you're attracted to can teach you a lot about yourself and the type of partner you ultimately want to end up with – even if you don't ever kiss, let alone sleep together. Just make sure, in this case, to share that you only have a platonic connection with him before he gets too invested. Being selfish when dating is essential, but never be cruel and lead people on.

Suppose you want to see where this connection goes, without commitment. In that case, you can always indulge in casual sex with others you are physically attracted to and only go on dates with this man in a more casual dating/companionship way.

I don't think it is shallow to not want to date someone you're not physically/sexually attracted to. Unfortunately, in our current society, you wouldn't even need to question this if you were a man. There are plenty of people we really like and are emotionally attracted to in this life but have no sexual feelings towards – we call them friends.

While it could take some time to find a partner with who you're compatible in every major area, consider how much longer this process would take if you settle with men you have no true interest in before you inevitably break up with them because you're unhappy in the relationship? Staying single until your values align and mutually want rip each others' clothes off every time you see each other in the beginning stages of dating is the best strategy – in my opinion at least. It is better to be technically alone than lonely in a committed relationship. You deserve nothing but the best. Never settle for less. Keep your standards high to maintain your most valuable assets: Your happiness, success, and peace of mind.

Hope this helps xx

[4deathme]

Ok, let me start off by saying this, actually i had began writing journal starting from 1:23am and i had already wrote more than 6 paragraphs of the journal from the month of July despair. I have to write again now starting over again. What a pain in ass.

Alrighty, right now its 2:39am as i am writing these sentence.

It was July 22nd, Thursday, around 5:20pm i texted her long texts asking for forgiveness, acknowledging my mistakes. After lots of texts she finally responded to me at 6:14pm. She wrote a long text too explaining that i had hurt a lot and as she was trying to deal with her past trauma and was tryna fix herself too. She said that she need some time as she's overwhelmed by the current negative situations. She said that she had cried enough for the day. Although she said that she forgave me but also reminded me that i wasn't getting the same version of her like before.

I felt bad but i could understand because the amount of pressure i was giving to her weeks ago. Anyways, we were having good conversation after that, she was tryna lift me up by saying that i need to move on forward and then have a proper meal and sleep. She still cared about this stupid boy after all. She said that she’ll be forgiving me under one condition, and the condition was for my own benefit. I had to get better from the depressing state i was living in. She cared bout it still, yet fool like me always wanted more than anything. She texted me till 1:34am and then i got no response, she might have fallen asleep but yet i dared to call her twice.

Following the next day 23rd July Friday, I wished her in the morning and she responded at 11:23pm, our conversation was casual, she was getting ready to go out to her fam’s cafe to help her brothers out as she does every Fridays and Saturdays. After textin her ‘yello’ around 5:40ish, I just simply waited for her texts. She replied to me at 7:20pm something like that. She replied that her day was quit boring when i asked how her day went.

I reminded her that she was gonna call me tonight, which she declined by saying that she only said that she might. I was quite sad to heard that but i knew i could do nothin. If only that i night i wouldn’t have been drinking things would have gone in right direction. But as you know careless stupid drunkard never learns his lesson.  

From 8-9pm we were both talkin about this and that about my current health and situation and at 9:46pm I texted her if i could ask her something, she said ok but then again i hesitated to ask her, she asked me what was it but then i just dismissed it by saying ‘it was nothing’ and her last hands on a face emoji. (The thing i wanted to ask her was, if i could get a one last chance to resolve broken love of the tales of Yuno and Yuki. I just wanted her back, i wanted to tell her so much that, never had i ever missed her voice, her laugh, her smile, her everything. It felt like i was in drugged into love.  

And then it happened, around 11:38pm i started to annoy her more by texting and calling her.. little did i knew that she was actually sleeping and i was pissing her off. The thoughts of day labor at her fam’s restro didn’t seemed to occurred to me at that time, if it had came across my mind i would have thought about it lot but i just simply forgot it. She then responded furiously telling me how i could not think bout that she was sleeping. And idk why the fuck i started to babble about my feelings. Instead of apologizing and just wishin her goodnight i kept on babbling about my feelings and heart. She voice texted me too, and she sound genuinely pissed off. Yet to make things even more worse i started to talk about that my love was never fake and shit, and telling her that i was ready to meet her parents and marry her. Fuckin stupid ass drunkard me i hate myself for my own mistakes. That was the only time that i could have ever repent from my wrong doings but again no, fuckin miserable chap like me never gets his lessons.

Yah she got mad, she told me that i never understand my lessons and that i had just ruined her sleep. She told me to stop talking and let her sleep and that she was losing her mind bcus of me, yah that was the last text i received that night at 11:57pm. While me i just texted her until it was 4:56am in the morning and then finally im sorruuu text around 7am before going to sleep.

That was it after that. When i woke up in the evening and went thru my phone to check if i got any texts but then i saw that she had blocked me. It was quite like living in despair. It was not her fault at all, it was mine shit. I couldn’t fukcin handle myself. I was losing myself. I was numb. I was depressed. She was the only hope, the only light i felt while i was into the darkness and yet i fuckin blew it up in 2 single fucking night.

Wondering alone at the night in the street, reality and dreams steal my feelings and everything seems to have ended when it just begins. I'm in the abyss and she can’t see me. Should I let go and forget the past? I feel like I'm falling and the night is more darker than before. I feel so exhausted.

Current time before post : 3:49am

TO BE CONTINUED  

[seedleaflesssapling]

Ver 2.0? Turning Point?

I can't really identify to which point in my life that i started to doubt myself but im pretty sure that it was because of UP. Damn, that school, my uni. It do really have the ability to make you feel small; i was in a disadvantaged side when i entered it, you know. I was acquainted, no we did not really talked one-on-one, but i heard when we did introductions - Pisay, UP High, science comprehensive schools, Xavier University, who wouldn't be intimidated by that when you came from Col. Ruperto Abellon National School (who would know where that is? I was lucky enough for a teacher recognized it and my classmates be like 'ahhhhhh,' .....really?! I dont even know where xavier is, it just sounds cool). Another thing is that, i wasn't a stem shs graduate - a leverage(?) or excuse (?) that i always use for them to know that i am at disadvantaged side here, not their competitor, probably a NOBODY. They, being stem graduates, have capstone projects you never thought that they have at that age, but i would hear them saying that it was publish in this journal (whatever, idk the journals lmao, i dont even understand their studies 2nd lmao, but that was some smart shit you know, a shit that makes me feel pathetic for being too proud of my what? Correlational study from inconsistent surveys?!!! Wtf, wtf, wtf). But it was a very good peer pressure you know, i kinda turned it that way. Being left behind, being on the rock bottom, i have no other place to go but up. It wasn't the goal, like making or taking the top spot, i just need to survive.

Inevitably, the exams came. I had hard time adjusting chem but math was kind to me. Who would have thought that i would get two 1.0 at my math subjects for the first semester, the sem that i thought i would barely pass. I was even a CS for that sem. Who would have thought? Our first chemical engineering subject that involves computations was on the list the next semester and the first exam, out of 100 i got something like 20ish. WTF. THAT WAS MY FIRST FAILED EXAM. but no, never did cry but tears were flooding inside. So apparently, i have to focus more on this subject and i did. Some were still failing, but i raised my average up. We also had physics, my first ever physics. I really love physics that time or that sir rommel is just a very good professor. I got the highest score on our second LE, everybody else did fail. Small victories. Not that they lose, but i just won. But i heard one time they were talking about me re: passing the physics exam and even getting a high score. They were uhm.. a guy i really look up to cause his good, the other was a girl that idk but i think she didn't like me back then. They were friends but eventually the girl transferred uni because who cares why. i heard the guy saying something like sin.o gid na si franklin nga taas iya score man, maybe even worse than that, i still look up to the guy even until now. But wtf. I really took it in that time, like i wanted to cry but did not. With all that, i got a fair grade at physics. I still got 1.0 at maths that sem and even maintained being on the CS list. S M I L E. BECAUSE WE HAVE A MIDYEAR CLASS. VERY EXHAUSTING FOR SOMEONE WHO DONT WANT ANYTHING BUT JUST ADJUST, SURVIVE, AND FIND MEANING OF BEING A UP STUDENT. It was just one subject and it was math, but i got 2.0?!!! I have no excuse to that, i am very grateful for the family who accommodated me. After midyear class, i did got sick, it sucks, really sucks. I wanted to file an LOA for the next academic year, it is the only thing i can think of for me to go back on track (i haven't said that my parents pushed me to graduate with latin honor and i wanted to also for my resume to look good because everything else in me is effed up). I really wanted to pause and be free for a while but i also wanted to graduate on time (mostly because i want to give the bitches who dared to have expectations be put on my shoulders not the satisfaction, but the audacity to tell them 'i aint did it for ya') so i asked mama. THANK GOD, SHE DID SAY NA KUNG ANO LANG KAYA MO, AMO LANG DA IH 😭😭🤧🤧 so i enrolled, but went to school late, haven't attended the school opening but all is good. I did kind of reset, just enough for me to face school again.

Second year, it was fucked. I did really love coding on octave and doing sheets at ms excel though. On that year, we have formed the che 103 bagsak group. Together with two of my classmates on 103 and math 55, we became buddies after failing che 103 on the first LE, another 30 over 100 exam hahahahaha. We made bawi just enough for us to pass the subject hahahahahuhu. I have thermodynamics sub, i barely pass. Thank G na wala ko nag removal. If ever i did, i am so sure that i wont make it. My GWA for that sem was not enough for me to be a CS. Who cares? I still did, actually but mama was never been too pushy since then, even since after midyear, after getting that 2.0 grade from the only subject i am good at. Btw, my math 55 for first sem, second year, was 1.25. Not a 1.0 but still, it's good. Second semester that year was when pandemic hit so there's nothing much to tell. I was, sorry but i was really, glad to be away from school for a while, not until for a while became forever. Virtual university set-up was very hard. With too much from taking in whatever i see and hear on my surroundings, even just at home, everything is difficult. It is very hard to find motivation and discipline in studying when i was surrounded with people who do nothing. Even to this point i am writing, everyday is like a battle, but is mostly an internal one. Self vs self, a war no one knows who will win. So the confidence, the tower of knowledge i did build, exponentially went down. I did really well when i was in grade 10, i did my best that time and it can be seen at the achievements i had that year. Being consistently on top 1 the whole year, placing second on division MMC (even getting the highest score on the written elimination round for the whole cluster), doing well sa physics under maam andico, placings on cluster journalism competitions - it was like a record best, best record (?) Whatever. But it wasn't enough you know, i eventually came fourth like wtf. I had read from somewhere Newton saying like the two years when he did write the three laws of motion and the calculus stuff were the two best years of his life, and it kept me thinking that what if mine already passed? That it was when i was in high school?

But, back when i was in school, every time that i was belittling myself or even at random times that i would feel nervous for nothing, my classmates and close friends would say na:

Uno mo man ang Math, uno mo na na (it was a one or two time thing, what if chamba lang to???)

Ikaw man highest sa first le sa thermo (it was really an absolutely one time thing, i barely passed that sub)

Alam ka man sa physics (i was just invested on physics and maybe nachambahan lang na ang ginpractice ko solve kay parallel sa exam ni sir)

Alam ka, d ka lang confident (OKAY???!)

I was ignoring those shit cause who cares if i did really good that time. Yeah, it felt good but it wasn't fulfilling. Satisfied but not happy. But with recent events, i think i would be changing. This post will be a written contract that i will push to be better, to start trusting myself, and build that confidence glow behind me; to believe that i am bright and i can hack it, whatever it may be.

For coherence, i would itemize na lang all of the events that brought me to epiphany lol

It was Friday, 17 Sep, when Dean, in our plant design subject, gave an activity for us - to come up with solutions that would address problems he presented. 1 off grid island community (either you address the water, electricity, and phone reception/signal problem under a 100k budget) and 2 vinegar packaging with a 500 mL volume and should cost less than the cost of vinegar. The due's on Monday, 20 Sep. The challenge is that you should come up with an idea that is not the same with those who already turned in their proposed solutions. I haven't turned in mine until Sunday afternoon. We are 23 in class, hence there should be 23 proposed solutions for each problem. However, only 20 or 21 turned in their solutions and as a student who decided to do it three days after the sheet was given, i was at the second to the last of the entries hahaha. I have limited choice since a lot have been proposed. And ngl, i did entered my idea for the first problem at Sunday evening and for the second problem it was on the afternoon of the next day. Those were basic solutions cause who am I? Am just your basic guy.

Tuesday, 21 Sep (#NeverForget #NeverAgain), class again for plant design (PD). Dean discussed stuffs which im ngl, i did not listen because im bored (not until he said 'we'll have a 5-min break and we'll have a quiz after that' like wtf, how will we do our quiz???!). After the short break, I did study cause i panicked as hell, he presented the prospects of the course, that we will be divided in groups and that the leaders were chosen based on the solutions they turned in the activity previously given. So there's no quiz, i was calm the whole time after that until my name was called. Like wtf??! Your basic guy will be a leader???! Hello!!! So i chat people, asked them if it was a good thing (course it was!!!? So dumb right?!). And then, i asked another leader and she agreed to my argument that we should only be divided into six instead of seven as what dean has decided. So i chatted dean (pic below). I just accepted the role half-heartedly.

As leaders, we should be hiring people for our team and we should make pubs. I dont have a canva account to help me do pubs. I made mine at MS ppt HAHAHAHAHAHA but im good so its cute. We were assigned with projects and i get to have the 4-member team. The vacant roles were project maven and liaison officer for a 3-member team. In my pubs, i included scrummaster as position to be filled, cause who am i to lead?! So yeah, that's it. I did the pubs Wednesday and I submitted my resume Thursday (third to the last hahahaha but my resume's cute hahaha).

Thursday. So i had this invite by a classmate to join the Shell event long time ago. He was reaching out for someone to ask Dean for his approval because Dean did not replied to the email he sent. So, i volunteered. I really want this competition cause this will be my first and maybe last competition as a UP student. So i DMed dean and blah blah blah he asked for selection process. I relayed the message and apologize to them for being me because i was thinking that it was me who made him come up with the decision of having the team be selected. Like, wtf i was just asking for his approval. Getting kicked out of the team was not my intention. Those whom i chatted that night were telling me that it wasn't my fault blah blah blah. So i half-heartedly agreed to them.

Friday came, yesterday, the interview. I am very anxious for someone who will be the one asking the applicants lmao. I already have been interviewed before for college applications and somehow remember the feeling, nerve wracking, whatever. To calm my nerves, i listed questions which i never got to ask properly btw, but at least i have concrete ideas on what to ask. The first interviewee was my very closed friend and so we just laugh and laugh and laugh HAHAHAHAHA. IDK if dean saw it but who cares. And the next and next and next. 3:30 passed by fast and guess what??? YOUR BASIC GUY HAS THE MOST NUMBER OF APPLICANTS TO THE POINT THAT DEAN CUT MY LIST. IT WAS EXHAUSTING BUT VERY FLATTERING. I FEEL SO HONORED. i really thought and very scared at the thought that no one will apply to me but wtf, just wtf. Ranking my applicants was damn hard. 1 i have a dream team but one was cut by dean; 2 this could make my friends mad; 3 this will be the group for the whole year; 4 i am really exhausted. But still, i submitted the list. I was hoping for the people i chose to choose me back. Only two out of three did, i am forever grateful.

Still on Friday, the classmate who invited me to the Shell thing and Dean had a zoom call and discussed about the competition. That classmate told dean what i told him the other day that i might be the reason for the decision of having the selection process done. He told me this through a voice memo, katamad daw magtype. A voice message that i played over and over again. Dean actually find me interesting (?), Invested (?) Idk exactly but the classmate told me na 'may nakikita daw talaga sya sayo. Na grabe ka ka-practical as a person like yung ideas mo daw sa plant design napakasimple lang pero napaka practical to the point daw na madami nag apply sayo kanina. And then, you need more confidence lang daw talaga' so ig, you basic guy is a practical guy now. It's just flattering.

Now, whatever happens, i must meet those expectations right? This could be a lousy motivation but what is if there's none? I dont know why im writing this. I just thought i should get my thoughts out. Ver 2.0? Turning point? Let's just do good 😌

PS I put this on my bio on FB, guess im getting more public, and if you happened to read this because you saw the link on my bio, send me a message about you thoughts.

PPS if your initials are JTZC, these have been my week and i miss you even though you're not interested in me anymore, you are hard to forget

[botwstoriesandsuch]

YES! POST THINGS! IM BORED!!!

Okie Dokie here you go!

The real reason I wanted an ask was because the original person who asked for this prompt isn’t in my inbox anymore...? Someone requested a one-shot about Revali failing at his gale, but I can’t find it in the inbox because I’m dumb/technology issues? (I think their name was trash mammal or something, idk). Anyway, here’s that, although I kinda, accidentally turned it into a character analysis of Revali...But an anon said that I apologize too much with requests. Therefore, I’m NOT sorry about that, I’m NOT sorry for the wait, and I’m NOT sorry that this is 3487 words long. Enjoy!

Edit: Sorry if the format looks weird on mobile, idk why!

The Pride of the Rito

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of The Wild

Revali x Reader

The night was bitter in more ways than one. The snow that tumbled down on the Flight Range was thick, leaving clumps of ice on the roof. The air was hazy, a silver atmosphere that commanded the winds to howl towards the sky. The rugged mountains that surrounded the area isolated him and the trench. The only thing that could be seen past the lingering snowstorm was the faint blue glow of Medoh in the sky, for even the stars were captured under the white, with not a twinkle in sight. Outside, the flurries rested on the tips of his feathers and beak, a delicate moment in the midst of his relentless training.

Again. Let’s do it again. I need to be more precise.  

Revali knelt on the edge, teetering between the solid ground and the emptiness below him.  

He brushed the tips of his wing against the rocks, the winds rushing between his feathers. His body relaxed for a moment, closing his eyes and feeling the air. Then, he tensed, stiffening his wings on either side, in a motion as if to summon something from the earth. Well, he was summoning something. The air, the wind, the movement, the authority to conjure a draft below him. The winds were now picking up, swirling violently and circling under him, he could feel his jade anklets clinking around from the rampant air.  

Keep going. Keep. Going. It needs to be stronger, faster. 

The falling snow was now alive, dancing around as they were swept into the hurricane-like entity that was now surrounding Revali. His braids were flapping in the air, his cream colored scarf billowing. The winds were now cutting, bitter cold nipping despite his feathered features. 

Now, up. Release with control, direct it upwards. Not all at once. Keep the energy. Follow through the whole way. Command the ascent. Steer the flow. This is it!

A shaky breath escaped him. A strange charge now filled the air. The winds, once turbulent, now suddenly stilled, seeming to wait for their cue. He could feel it still swirling, inside of him, ready to burst at any moment. Then, his wings, still strained on either side of him, gave a mighty flap. The air now roared back to life, swelling beneath him. 

A tornado, a great pillar of air, now released into the sky. 

And he flew

…straight into a rocky cliff. 

“ARGH–”

The wind, quite literally, was knocked out of Revali, as he connected with the rocky ridge. He dropped, and then fell on the ground with a thud. He laid there, aching for a moment, before letting out a deep sigh.

Revali started to move, slightly, just enough to get his head out of the dirt. Then he knelt on the ground, for what seemed like an eternity, contemplating. Finally, he got up. The Rito armor, now dusted with grey snow and rocky debris, had protected most of him, however, it couldn’t protect the blow to his confidence. He cursed under his breath.

It seemed that instead of streaming Revali towards the sky, the gale had pushed him back, sideways towards the surrounding cliffs. With another flap of his wings, he moved back towards the wooden hut, shaking his head.

He landed on the armrest of the balcony, making his way to a little oaken desk. Snatching his journal (astutely named The Diary of Revali, the Rito Legend) he started scribbling down notes. Of course, being so focused on recording his latest happenings, he failed to notice the Hylian sitting amongst the pillows and blankets behind him. Putting the rest of his thoughts onto paper, Revali turned around and was greeted by your smiling face.

“Gah! [Name]? What– when did…how long have you been here?” 

You gave a quiet chuckle.

“Just half an hour or so. A blizzard was coming in and I knew you would be out practicing again. Being stuck here, alone all night, isn’t really ideal. So…”

You moved the blanket off of you, spreading your arms wide as if to present yourself or pose. A cheeky grin on your face.

“Ta-da! Now you have company!”

Moving the leather strap around your shoulder, you tugged a satchel onto your lap. Digging through, you pulled out two sealed containers.

“Plus, I brought some spicy meat stew.” 

Revali shook his head, moving closer to the blankets, but not daring to sit down.

“That’s alright, I’m not hungry.”

Acknowledging, and subsequently ignoring his comment, you shoved the soup container towards his chest, forcing him to hold it. 

“What? You get full from eating the snow and pebbles from your fall just now?”

His eyes then narrowed, “I’m trying to train.”

“By starving and injuring yourself?”

“By perfecting my technique– Listen, [name], if you came here to distract me from my goal, I’m sorry to inform you that your efforts will be for naught.”

Revali turned around, placing the spicy meat stew on the desk. He started making his way towards the landing outside.

You have out a huff. Getting up to follow him, you tossed both of the containers back into your bag and started walking.

 “Instead of focusing on long forgotten spiritual magic, why don’t you just focus on being the best you, you can be?”

“Farore above, did you really just say that? Incredibly cliche, I expected more of you–”

“I was joking.”

“Hmm, we need to work on your sense of humour.”

Outside, the air stung on your cheeks. The snowstorm still clouded the sky, masking both the heavens and the earth in white. Shivering, you asked,

“Rito can already fly, can’t they?  This seems a bit redundant, you already have wings. What’s even the point of creating an updraft?”

Revali slowed his pace to give out a hearty laugh. In fact, he stopped outright, on the edge of the landing, the echoes of his laughter filling the air. At this point it wasn’t entirely clear if he was being sarcastic or not. You crossed your arms, he stopped when he met your stiff gaze.

“Oh, so you were being serious then…”

A familiar smug expression crossed onto Revali’s face. He hopped back onto the railing, perhaps so he could physically look down on you. He tucked his wings behind his back, leaning forward ever so slightly. A professor about to give a lecture. This should be good.

“Well, as understandable as it is that a Hylian couldn’t comprehend the benefits of such an ability, allow me to enlighten you. Rito style archery is the most superior in all of Hyrule for a multitude of reasons. The light crafting of the bow, the quick and efficient draw, our graceful movements and technique, 

“But most importantly…”

He took one foot of the edge, half hovering over the windy pit.

“…the ability of flight!”

Both feet were now off the railing. Revali dove head first into the abyss. While you knew he was probably going to be fine, instinct kicked in as you hurried to the edge to check on him. 

Snow still fell through the air, flurries were once again sticking to his feathers. But all he felt was adrenaline, along with the rush of air as he plummeted towards the bottom. Before hitting the watery depths, he unfurled his wings, catching the natural updrafts of the Flight Range. Now soaring towards the sky, Revali gave a few more mighty flaps to get even more height. 

Still on the landing, you watched as a blur of navy blue rose above the cliffs. Contrasting with the grey and silver landscape, the blur shot through the air. Then it hovered, just below the clouds, still as a leaf.

Above the Flight Range, Revali shifted the bow off his back, allowing it to drop. Repositioning his weight, he dove down to catch it with a practiced grip. Falling through the air, he flipped upside down, just for show. Taking arrows from his quiver, he knocked them into place. Three arrows, all at once, were released. 

Thud! 

Thud! 

Thud!

All made perfect contact with the bullseye, the blue luminescent paint on the targets showing evidence of Revali’s accuracy and precision. Revali fastened another round of arrows, drawing them back before letting them through the air.

Thud! 

Thud! 

Thud! 

Perfect, as should be expected of me.

Now, he was about halfway down in his descent. 

I think [Name] might be impressed if I warm up the place…

Taking the arrows near the bottom of the quiver, he took out three heavier bomb arrows. Round, scarlet heads held a good amount of gunpowder. Sparking them with a piece of flint on the arrow rest, the fuses were lit, and he let them loose. 

BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!

The once frigid air now subsided in the wake of three explosions. The colors of a sunrise clashed in the air, bits of the once turquoise targets nearly flung into your face. You ducked, the warmth of fire now filling the Flight Range. 

Revali spread his wings, catching the natural drafts once more, then settled back on the railing. 

“As you could see from my demonstration, taking to the sky allows for Rito to shoot our enemies without becoming a stationary target ourselves. However, you can only shoot for as long as you’re falling, and taking to the skies takes time.

“You can’t just flap your wings and get into the air immediately. That only works with natural updrafts, again, as I just demonstrated. An average Rito would have to start at an already elevated position, such as the landings in Rito Village, in order to gain enough momentum and height. Or, alternatively, use a long stretch of land as a runway, gaining height at an gradual angle.

He turned to face you, smirk still on his face.

“Both options take too long. You asked the significance of my ability? It’s the fastest way in all of Hyrule to take to the air. Instantaneous height, the ability to attack whenever, wherever. Thought impossible by everyone, but something that I have solely mastered.”

Or, will master, anyhow…

He strode towards you, bow returned to his back, wings, once again, folded behind him. He gave a deep bow.

You gave a polite clap, humoring his grand show.  

“Fantastic performance, Revali. Encore?”

“Tsk. If you came by more often I might consider it.”

Now it was your turn to put on a smirk. “Yeah, yeah. When I finish begging the elders to reward you with a statue, maybe I will.”

“I don’t want, nor need something like that.”

“Oh? But I have to reward you somehow…how about…”

You took out the stews from your satchel. Presenting it like a trophy, you held one out. Then, you tilted your head towards the hut with the pillows and blankets, as if to say, over there! You urged Revali again.

“You didn’t eat lunch, or breakfast!”

“Didn’t I just explain, a literal five seconds ago, how important it is that I practice my–”

“Aaaaaaand you can’t do that on an empty stomach, can you?”

You tried to catch his eye, maybe if he just looked at your eyes, you could get him to change his mind.

“You don’t need to put on an act around me.”

A jade eye shot up, meeting your gaze.

“I’m not–”

Revali looked at you, a new charge filled the air. 

“…fine. Just for a minute.”

. . . . .  

“Did you even attempt to heat this?”

“It’s almost midnight, and I made it at nine. You’re the one who decided to coop up here all day.”

Despite the temperature, the stew was delicious. For the last hour or so, he and you had been devouring in the flavorful dish. Apparently, it was an official recipe from Rito Stable. The meat, tender and soft, complemented well with a savory broth that you slurped every drop of. The spiciness tingled through your bodies, warming the both of you up. Outside, the blizzard was still present, but now less violent. A thin slice of the moon could be seen beyond the edges of the mountains. 

It was you who made most of the small talk with Revali, an incredibly rare occurrence since it was usually the Rito Champion who spoke for extended periods of time. He kept looking outside, near the cliff he had crashed into earlier. 

Damn, he’s really still stuck up on that, huh? You thought. 

Trying to change the subject to something that would get his attention, you piped up.

“So, the move you’re working on, what’cha gonna call it?”

Revali turned his head back at you. He fiddled with the spoon in his half eaten stew, thinking.

“Something with ‘Revali’ in it, so my name’s out there. Revali’s Flap, Revali’s Hurricane…Revali’s…something. I’ll work out something.”

You let out a soft laugh. “As expected from you.” Shoving another piece of meat into your mouth, you added, “Maybe, *munch* maybe do something like Revali’s Turbulence. Oh! How about Revali’s Boldness! Wait, *munch* no, that’s stupid. But maybe a name more along the lines of Urbosa’s Fury, or Mipha’s Grace, ya know?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think I need to copy from the likes of Champion Urbosa or Mipha.”

“What? They both got cool powers. You know the saying is ‘good artists borrow, and great artist stea–”

“As I said, I don’t need to copy, steal, or piggyback on my fellow Champion’s esteemed reputation. Further associating myself with them will not be necessary”

You set your bowl down, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Nayru save me, don’t tell me you hate them too?”

“What?”

“I mean, I guess I know from experience that you insult people that you like.”

“I…what?”

“Although, not just personal experience. From what I could gather, you seem to actually hate Master Link, but everyone else you just insult because that’s how you make friends. Wait, or are you actually trying to be friends with Link and you just suck at this kind of thing overall…”

Revali interjected in your rant, turning all his attention to you.

“I don’t hate them.”

“Master Link?”

“No, Urbosa and Mipha. Well, perhaps that knight too I suppose. I–I haven’t decided yet.”

“Then why have you been so bitter lately?”

This caught him off guard. You set your bowl down, holding his gaze. This whole week, Revali had isolated himself in the Flight Range, being sharp-tongued to visitors, much more than usual.  He wasn’t eating, Hylia knows if he sleeps. You decided to stop beating around the bush and got to the core of the issue.

“Revali, I’ve known you for a long time and I know by now when something’s up. You’re angry about something, or scared, you tell me.”

“It’s. Nothing.”

“Is it your new ability?”

 “No.”

“You only got the title of Champion two weeks ago. If you’re feeling pressured, that’s natural”

Revali let his bowl clatter on the ground. Getting up, he made his way outside.

“I’ll eat the rest later, I have to start practicing now.”

You raised your voice slightly, starting to get irritated. “Why is that so important, that you’re sacrificing your health and well being for it?!”

“I don’t expect you to understand.”

“Are you trying to prove yourself? To me? To the Princess? The King? The Champions?”

Revali turned back towards you, but was still walking backwards. The sky was now serene, and full of stars, despite his not so peaceful expression

“I’ve already been deemed on an equal level with all of the other Champions. You know, the team made up of royals and accomplished warriors? I’m here because I’ve shown that my skills are superior to everyone else. Either way, I don’t need to prove anything to people that are of the same rank as me!”

“Hylia, you’re always so blunt with everything else, why not be straightforward now?”

“I am. I’m training because I’m an accomplished Champion who needs to train, not because I’m some mediocre warrior–”

“So you’re afraid of mediocrity?”

“OF COURSE NOT!”

Both of you stood there, stunned. While the tension was building between you two, Revali’s sudden outburst was sudden. You both stood there, wind playing with your hair, and dancing through his scarf.

“…of course not.” His final lie, whispered into the air.

For a moment, there was no sound but the whistles of the wind. You took a step forward, arm outstretched.

“Revali…”

He shook his head, shaking his wings, exasperated.

“OK, Fine! You want the truth, about the updraft? It’s not about the practical use, or the grand show, or defying odds. It’s about me, ok?  Right now I’m nothing, just a random cuckoo walking amongst royalty and legendary warriors.

“Daruk, the Goron Elder with an impenetrable force field. Mipha, the Zora princess, whose healing prowess is said to counter even the most devastating of wounds. Lady Urbosa, Chief of the Gerudo who can summon lightning at a literal snap of her fingers. How did I get in here? I’m put beside warriors who are obviously better than me, and what am I supposed to think? Without anything distinguishing about myself, I’m going to fade into history, behind the actually competent people. I thought I worked my ass off to get where I am today, but then I’m put behind some random knight with a shiny sword. So am I worth something or not? Everything’s contradictory, nothing makes sense.  Did I just get lucky? Am I getting screwed over? 

“The only way I can wrap my head around this whole situation is to confront the fact that I’m just an ordinary Rito who is only here by chance. The work I’ve put in my whole life isn’t enough, I need to go beyond. And beyond means actually mastering this cursed gale!”

An ugly pause. You could cut the heat and tension with a knife. Revali, realizing how much he had just poured out of his soul, gave a half-hearted chuckle.

“Heh, you put wine in that stew?”

His attempt to lighten the mood didn’t fully work. Nonetheless, you stared at him for another eternity. Then you went in for a hug.

“You’re the dumbest Rito alive if you really believe any of that. You are not mediocre. You’re incredible. Incredibly annoying, incredibly persistent at talking my ears off, but incredibly skilled and smart too. Hell, that’s why I’ve loved you for so long.”

Ignoring whatever reaction just escaped from his beak, you continued. 

“I would like to reiterate my point that you’re a moron. You can’t isolate yourself here and expect to get better. You can’t go through all this as a solitary warrior. If mastering this ability means so much to you, then go for it. I don’t doubt you for a second. But just know…just know that you’re a complete idiot if you think that you’re not worthy. You’re a fool if you think for even a second that you’re average or inferior, because…

You gulped.

 …because you’re everything to me.”

OK, I’ll admit that was super cliche. But catharsis is catharsis I guess.

The moment settled, and silence returned once more.

“Hylia, maybe I did put some wine in there.”

Revali gave out a soft laugh. Then, more quiet. Finally, Revali whispered.

“Did you really mean all that?”

“…yeah.”

A pause, a strange charge filled the air.

“Thank you, [Name]. That, uh, means a lot, coming from you. Truly.” 

The air was still once more. However, Revali’s thoughts still swirled like wind.

Say something idiot, they just confessed! 

Haha, yes, of course you like me, considering I’m the best around. 

Holy– They just called you out on your crap! Don’t say something like that

I love you too…

Wow, cheesy and not really part of the mood. Haven’t I presented myself as more sophisticated than that?

Spirits above, what do I do now???

“I’m sorry.”

You looked up at him. “What?”

“I’m sorry I’ve been making you worry all week.”

“It’s fine, I–”

“No, it’s not fine. We just established how that was not fine.”

Revali looked back at you, clearing his throat.

“Hey, so about all that about love, and stuff–”

“Oh my goddess, yeah, no, if you want to just stay friends I can–”

“Oh no, well. Just to be clear, you were talking about me, correct? You weren’t mispronouncing someone else’s name, or referring to someone else named “Revali?”

You cocked an eyebrow.

“No…I–I was referring to you. The person I was talking to.”

“Ah. Good. Glad that’s clarified. That’s great.”

“…so do you–”

“OH-oh-oh, right, uh yes.”

Revali took a step back, pointing at you with both index fingers. His beak was open, but no sound escaped for a moment. 

Say it! They said it a few minutes ago!

I love you too!

“I have also, liked you, a lot, for a long period of time. You’re, pretty great. Yep. Yeah. This is mutual, yes…” 

Gods, I’m really am an idiot

[themanicnami]

Stuck in the City: Forest Witch Edition

It can be difficult to do witchcraft and connect to nature when stuck in a supremely urban area such as a downtown of a major city where even parks are hard to come by and collecting items there could be considered vandalism. This masterpost is to help all of you stuck witches who wish to be Forest Witches, connect with the forest or use forest related magic despite your urban setting.

**(If you like what I do and enjoy my posts feel free to support me or tip me at my Ko-Fi page or IM me for direct paypal information. Every dollar is helpful!~)**

Making Your Own Sanctuary

Let’s start with the simple beginnings of turning your home a bit more foresty so you can have your own sanctuary of nature in your home. Whether this be an altar, a corner of a room or even a full room is up to you and the amount of space you have to work with. In my post here I will be referring to setting up a space that would be considered big enough to sit in for meditation and spells and altar space, if you have more room than that feel free to definitely expand it!

Simply clear out some space, make some room so you can comfortably practice without risk of knocking anything over or causing safety issues for yourself (such as when candles are burning). Now in this space it’s time to decorate it and set it up to feel like a nice little cut of forest placed in the comfort of your home.

Things to consider adding to your space: branches and leaves, acorns, pinecones, walnuts (in the shell), tablecloths/altar cloths with forest, leaf or tree prints on them, photos and art of the forest, antlers, deer/elk skulls/teeth, fur (legally obtained), feathers (legally obtained), and the colors brown, green and brown. Potted plants and moss are other wonderful ideas to keep in this space especially plants native to your state, if you are unable to keep large plants try some local herbs or moss.

If plants are still not an option for you to grow due to either just not having the skill for it or the time or just not being a good location for them for lack of sunlight or tight space, crystals and stones are always options as well. Any crystals or stones associated with earth are wonderful to use as well or ones that are either green or brown or a combination of the two. Some suggestions of crystals to keep in mind would be: Moss Agate, Green Calcite, Tiger’s Eye, Citrine, Emerald, Jet, Jasper, Peridot, Quartz, Petrified Wood, Botswana Agate, Dendritic Agate and Malachite are all wonderful stones to keep on an altar dedicated to nature and the earth.

Modernize your space a bit too if you wish, get some nice sounds of birds playing over some speakers or from your phone, set up some posters and images of nature and wildlife and add anything else that makes you think of the trees you love. It doesn’t matter what it is, all that matters is that it’s something that you find connects with your craft.

Grounding and Meditation

It is difficult to ground yourself with the forest when you are miles away from one, but it can be done inside your little forest corner/space. Cleanse yourself and your space as you see fit, light any candles or incense if you desire (make sure its not close to any cloth, paper or plants) and make it comfortable for you. Sit or lay down depending on what is best for you and your health needs, in a position that you prefer, remember this is no wrong way to set up for meditation. If you have a device near you play some sounds of wind, birds and ruffling of leaves to help you feel like you are in the forest. In each hand hold either some crystals associated to the forest or earth, some wood/sticks, a wand, rocks gathered from a forest or park or anything else that will help you feel connected to nature. Close your eyes and begin focusing the energy of your chest and stomach to spread through your body and connect yourself to the ground like roots. Imagine these roots being like that of a tree connecting you to it in the heart of a vast forest. Don’t forget to take deep breaths through your nose and release them out your mouth. Meditate as long as needed until you feel a deep connection and ready to do your craft.

Portable Forest Altars

For when you are on the go or traveling but need a bit of the forest in your pocket or bag, you can make yourself a portable forest altar. Portable altars are used by many witches who are on the go or just keep their craft secret. They are very easy to make and can be very convenient for when you need to cast a spell away from home.

First you will need a small container to carry your supplies in. Some witches prefer pocket sized things like small boxes that jewelry may come in, altoid tins or other small containers, other witches prefer journal sized ones inside boxes, plastic containers or tins. It really depends on what you will need and what you will personally be carrying it in. Whatever you choose to carry it in make sure its durable enough not to be crushed inside a purse or bag so that whatever is inside of it does not get damaged or ruined. Preferably make sure there is a way to close the container or tin you are using tightly, if needed tie it shut using ribbon or yarn to help prevent it from popping open inside your bags.

Now it’s time for the fun part of making your travel altar, selecting the items to go into it! Now depending on the size of your altar it will change what can fit into it, so feel free to play tetris a bit with what you are fitting into it. You want things to be a bit snug to prevent them bumping around and breaking but you don’t want it so tight that you can’t get anything out.

Some common things and suggestions to put into your travel altar: birthday candles, tealight(s), travel matches or lighter, crystal shards or small crystals, beads, packets of salt, packets of black pepper, dried herbs in small containers/bags, dried flowers, pine cones, acorns, leaves, branches/sticks, bark chips, tea, small sachets for on the go spells, images of animals or plants, feathers, small stones/rocks, runes and sigils written onto bark or paper, seeds and small figurines of animals or creatures.

For larger travel altars also consider adding: scissors, plastic or cloth baggies, small travel books on herbs, plants and/or trees, pocket notebook/sketchbook, pencils and pens, crystals and a portable wand.

Forest Witch Crafts, Spells and More

For this section I’m going to talk about a few at home crafts and spells that you can make and cast while in an urban setting once you have set up your space and gotten down your grounding. These crafts are all beginner friendly and can be done by entry level witches once they have gotten down grounding and centering their energy.

Forest Witch’s Ladder for Protection

You will need:

Twine

Scissors

7 Oak Branches/Sticks

2 Pine Sticks

Pine Cone

White Ribbon

Something to hang it from such as a repurposed clothing hanger or hook

Cut your twine to the lengths you desire it, though making sure all three are the same lengths. At the top tight a tight knot of your choosing, I usually use a simple square knot. Leave enough extra on one side of the knot to tie it to your hanger or hook. The rest of the twine should be long enough to allow you to work. Braid it in a simple 3 way braid before tying a tight knot, placing an oak branch below the knot (the pine are for the end) and snuggly securing it with the twine wrapping it in whatever way you feel fit. Secure it again with a knot pressed tightly below the branch and continue the braid. You may space out the branches however you like, whether they are close together or far apart. While braiding and securing branches, focus on the energy that is given off by the oak branches. Once you have secured all of the oak branches you add the pine branches until all branches have been secured into the braid. Use the bottom of your twine to begin securing the pine cone in whatever process you prefer, I am simple when it comes to my witch’s ladders so I often prefer to find a good section near the top of the pine cone and wrap my twine around it and secure it with a series of simple knots. Take your white ribbon and to close and finish your spell, tie a bow around the bottom part of the braid just above your pine cone.

Find a secure place in your bedroom or in any main room you spend most of your time in and hang it either upon the wall or on a door for protection. Every full moon it is recommended to cleanse and charge your Witch’s Ladder in the full moon’s light then rehang it in its place come morning.

Forest Poppets

These little poppets are easy to make using only a few items. Using an acorn or a pinecone for the head and if desired drawing a face to it and tying it either to some cloth, paper or sticks you can create a simple little doll for magickal workings.

Use these poppets to bring positive effects into your life. Create your doll and on some part of it write your name, initials or use a taglock such as a bit of hair tied to it. Different wood types will attract different things into your life. A few examples would be:

Apple: blessing, protection, love, inspiration

Ash: creativity, inspiration, healing, moving towards a goal

Cedar: cleansing, removing negativity, emotional healing

Cherry: attraction, sexual energies, romance, daring, courage, voice

Elder: healing, protection

Oak: leadership, strength, wisdom, abundance, fertility

Walnut: expansion, travel, knowledge, wisdom

Willow: divination, psychic awareness, secrecy, concealment, glamour, fertility, healing, empathy

Cursing using these poppets can be quite easy too. Simply select a wood type with correspondences to the opposite of what you want for that person. Such as using cherry wood to remove romance from their life instead of bringing it in. To reverse after you have made the poppet and added the persons taglock, take black thread and bind them up tightly or use tape. Then seal the poppet into a jar and fill it with nasty things like muddy water, puddle water, black pepper, rotting vegetables/plants, dirt, etc and seal it tightly. Bury it in a dark place or keep it hidden away where it is is dark such as under sinks or in closets that are rarely used. To break the curse, open the jar, remove the poppet, cut the tape/thread and then dispose of the poppet properly.

Forest Witch Bath (from my bath post)

Supplies:

Pine Needles

Pinecones

Pine essential oil (2 drops)

3 bags of green or black tea

Green sachet

Mint

Cedar Chips

Green Candles (optional- tree or plant scented ones)

Steps: Light your candles and begin filling your tub. In you sachet add 1 part cedar chips and 1 part mint. Tie it shut and add to your bath as it fills. You may then add the pine needles to float freely or you may add them in a sachet as well. Add your two drops of pine oil once the tub is half filled to ensure it is well diluted in the bath. Add your tea bags into the water, line your tub with the pinecones and get in.

Note: essential oils can be harsh on certain skins, dilute the oil with a carrier oil and test on your skin to see if it affects you. If your skin is too sensitive for pine oil omit it from the spell.

Forest Witch Teas

There are several teas made from different trees that have several health benefits and magickal properties that are wonderful for spellcasting and overall forest witchery. A few helpful examples of these teas that are easy to purchase and find are listed below.

Pine Tea

Health: Health wise, properly gathered or purchased tea of this type is extremely good for you seeing as it is a ton of vitamin C. It is commonly used a vitamin C replacement for some individuals. It also has large amounts of vitamin A (though this one should be taken smaller amounts).

Correspondences: Pine corresponds mostly with endurance, strength, rebirth, celebration, and health

Willow Bark Tea

Health: Often referred to as “nature’s aspirin” or “the natural aspirin” willow bark tea is often used as a pain reliever for people and historically has been used for centuries. It is also often used for anti-inflammatory purposes. Though it can upset sensitive stomachs.

Correspondences: Willow trees often correspond with femininity, glamours, secrecy, invisibility, healing, sleep, fertility and emotional ties

Spruce Tea

Health: Spruce trees are very high in vitamin C making them great for immune systems and often used for vitamin supplements. Spruce needles are often used to soothe sore throats and coughs when made into a tea. It is also a great source of potassium.

Correspondences: astral travel, cleansing, purification, flight, creation, transformation, shapeshifting and ancient wisdom.

Deities of the Forest

This is a huge list of deities from different religions and mythology from around the world, none of which to my knowledge are closed religions. I did not list closed religion deities due to them being closed religions or religions such as Hinduism that requires someone to be initiated into it. (If I did accidentally list any closed religions please do let me know).

Baltic

Medeina: Goddess of forests, trees and animals

Celtic

Abnoba: Goddess of forests and rivers

Artio: Bear Goddess of the wilderness

Druantia: Goddess of Trees

Sucellus: God of agriculture, forests and alcohol

Vridios: God of vegetation, rebirth and agriculture

Egyptian

Ash: God of oasis and vineyards

English

Apple Tree Man: Spirit of the oldest apple trees

Chunnmilk Penny: Guardian spirit of unripe nut thickets

Finnish

Lempo: God of wilderness and archery

Tapio: God and Ruler of forests

Mielikki: Goddess of the forest and the hunt

Germanic

Ostara: Goddess of spring

Herne the Hunter: God of forests and wild animals

Greek:

Actaeon: God of wilderness, male and wild animals and the hunt

Artemis: Goddess of the hunt, wild animals, nature, wilderness, childbirth, virginity, fertility and health

Chloris: Goddess of flowers

Hegemone: Goddess of plants

Oxylus: God of forests and moutnains

Persephone: Goddess of spring and its growth

Physis: Primeval Goddess of nature

Mesopotamian

Abu: Mino plant God

Damu: God of vegetation and rebirth

Emesh: God of vegetation

Ningikugai: Goddess of reeds and marshes

Ninsar: Goddess of plants

Ua-Ildak: Goddess of pastures and poplar trees

Norse

Joro: Goddess and personification of Earth

Fjorgyn: Goddess and personification of Earth

Skadi: Goddess of mountains, skiing, winter, archery and hunting

Vidar: god of the forest, meditation, silence and wilderness

Roman

Ceres: Goddess of plant growth

Diana: Goddess of hunt, wild animals, wilderness and the moon

Faunus: Horned god of the forest, plains and fields

Feronia: Goddess of wildlife, fertility, health and abundance

Flora: Goddess of flowers and spring bloom

Fufluns: God of plant life, happiness, health and growth

Nemestrinus: God of the forests and woods

Pilumnus: God of nature and child growth

Pomona: Goddess of fruit trees, gardens and orchards

Silvanus: Spirit and Deity of woods and fields, protector of the forests

Slavic

Berstuk: Evil God of the forest

Jarilo: God of vegetation, fertility, spring, war and harvest

Porewit: God of woods, Protector of lost adventurers and voyagers, Punisher to those who mistreat the forest and nature

Porvata: God of the woods

Siliniez: God of the woods and sacred moss

Mokosh: Goddess of nature

Other

Mother Nature

The Planet Earth

Specific Tree Spirits

Nature Itself

The Seasons

Trees, Plants and Animals

Spirits and Entities Related to the Forest:

Ajatar

Bigfoot

Dryads (of all kinds)

Elves

Leshy

Green Man

Owlman

Unicorns

Satyrs

Fauns

Ahool

Curupira

Dingonek

Mapinguari

Man-eating Trees

Manticore

Saci

Mandrake

Umdhlebi

Waldgest

Goatman

Centaur

Trolls

Imps

Fae of all sorts

[gwynne-fics]

January Request Game

Almost all of the requests are posted, and the last three will go up next week, so it’s time for another game to help me make my daily posting goal for 2019. Drabbles are really working for me right now so let’s do some more!

Please read all of the rules!

Pick a story I’ve written. Nothing new please.

Optional: Pick a character or characters; Romance, bromance, sismance, and friendships are all welcome and encouraged!

You may make as many requests as you would like, up to ten, (this is where some of you peaked last time) but you must tell me which story and which ship.

Off Limits: Silver Lining–YoungSang and Silent Scream–YoungSang The reason is that I’m working with a specific outline or the story is finished and drabbles might interfere. All other relationships in those stories are open.

I will write a drabble for each request.

If you want any of your requests to be treated as Anon, just tell me and I will make a separate post instead of answering the ask.

I’ll make a post closing the game, but it’ll be open until probably Tuesday, January 22nd.

Ask Box is HERE

Here is an example of what your request should look like:

Letters from the Joseon -- IHYV

Here is an example of what I will respond with:

preparation

Soo-Ha feels like it wasn’t real until the box of letters are delivered by her descendants’ estate. Each one is perfectly preserved and as a historian himself, he doesn’t dare open them until he’s in a climate controlled room, wearing a mask and gloves.

I miss you. When are you coming back?

She ends every letter the same. The dates go for two years and he hungrily eats through them. But it still takes six months after surgery to heal enough to begin the preparations to return to his Lady Jang.

He doesn’t want to return as a phantom from another time. He goes through his contacts to prepare a wardrobe appropriate to a young, single merchant. He was able to help Hye-Sung with negotiations while he was there. He goes through all the mundane information he needs to survive during her time. He puts together an authentic journal, clothes, and is able to transfer his wealth back in time through the power of reenactment and entertainment resources.

He starts growing out his hair.

He wants to purchase a horse when he arrives. Hye-Sung had Magistrate Cha teach him how to ride. It takes two days to put himself in a specially prepared room of his apartment, his affairs completely in order, his hands on the packs he needs, and hypnotize himself into the Joseon era.

Soo-Ha puts himself too far away from her and it takes work to make it back to her town in her province. It is cold and late when he knocks on the familiar gate. Sung-Bin recognizes him but her eyes narrow before she lets him in.

“I would like to join the household as a servant,” he says. “May I speak with Lady Jang?”

It feels like forever before Sung-Bin brings Hye-Sung to the courtyard. It starts to snow. He sees her and removes his hat in an action that is more nerves than appropriate to the time period. She stares at him with tears in her eyes as she slowly walks up to him.

“I got your letters.”

[smallblanketfort]

the sprout club guide to journals, by yours truly, for the online zine, wanderer.

i've always loved journals. i've kept them since i was 9 (im 21 now), i keep the stash of them under my bed, in an old typewriter box. there's little i love more than a new notebook. i've developed an obsession, and i dont use the word lightly, with watching youtube videos about journaling. honestly, i can't put my finger on why i adore it so much. i think it gives me a physical headspace to sort and track my thinking, to find some release, to find some clarity. it makes me feel safe and like I have something to say. it offers me a place to experiment. to get to know myself and what i'm thinking. to track my growth through the years. to capture what it's like to be a certain age in a certain place. it's very hard for me to label my feelings and work through things, so doing it physically is very helpful... and more healthy than some Other things i could do instead. so get a notebook. whatever appeals to you. i love graph paper. i love the rhodia, fabriano, nanuk, and leuchtturm1917 notebooks. get a pen. i've been using colored le pens, tho the felt tip thing doesn't work for me and they fade slightly, and black microns. let go of the need to be "pretty" or super neat, like all the bullet journaling photos and videos. if that's in your easy capacity, then do it!! but frankly, my writing is too messy. so instead, i've taken to keeping a very small selection of washi tape at hand, and using it to tape in tea bag tags with fortunes that speak to me, postcards, and other paper things that i love. i taped a tiny paper bag into the back of journals that don't have pockets, where i feel the small selection of paper things i would like to tape in. this way, it's all convenient, but not overwhelming. and i can easily make it look aesthetically pleasing, without stressing about my handwriting. you don't have to write about your day to day. you can. and, dare i say, you should, from time to time. later, you'll be glad you captured a glimpse of what life is like for you. so what do you write about? whatever you're thinking or mulling over. whatever youre struggling with or worried about or stoked about. whatever you're experiencing. i like to... +make notes on books i'm reading. this includes bits i underline, thoughts i have, etc. i do this for poetry, fiction, nonfiction, the bible, and devotionals. doing so helps me remember things, and helps me understand what i personally think and like. +explore myself. i just spent all yesterday going through my personality type (16personalities.com) and my strength finder results, taking notes and mapping connections. it's so interesting. now nadine has gotten me into tritypes, and i'm planning on adding my starsign as well :) connections are just very intriguing to me, and they help me understand why i am the way i am. +copy out lyrics to songs and poems that speak to or for me in the moment +rough drafts and last drafts of poems and essays. writing it by hand slows you down and helps you reevaluate word choices. +album and book reviews and responses +sometimes i copy out my tumblr responses to asks or tweets, if i feel like it stood for a moment or meant something to me. +yoga flows and workouts +responses to tea bag sayings +responses to youtube videos, articles, and podcasts +responses to current events. you are living history, so document it. +assessing my daily routines and how i can improve them in order to improve my mental health and awareness +polaroids and film photos. i can never decide whether to keep them in my journal or in my film book, so i only use washi tape to keep them in my journal, so that i can unstick them and put them in my film book when i'm ready. +i take them everywhere. consequently, i have a lot of pages of weird repetitive patterns and weird notes from classes, about gender or icarus or why i love words. more personal class notes and patterns in the margins, since doing so helps me focused and calm. i love it though. i also use a lot of prompts. i'm the kind of person who wants to write all the time, but i don't always know what to say. soooo i have used.. +start where you are is such a beautiful little watercolor book of quotes and prompts. i adore it. +steal like an artist & the accompanying journal. +the positivity kit by lisa crowe or something uh my eyesight sucks. all of these so far have been journal-books, but i hate using the actual book, so i flip open to a page and use it in my journal. +the messy heads put together a nice list of prompts. i printed this out and i always keep it folded and tucked into the back of my journal. (for some reason i can't find the adorable print outs they made, instead i can only find the blog posts oh no) +my tumblr tags for prompts, on my main blog and mental health blog +some of my favorite prompts include stefan's 2017 check in, to accompany the 2016 lookback/2017 look forward +monthly journal challenge +the divya victor x audre lorde questions i like looking at photos of journals, and watching youtube flip through's. i tag them here watch! youtube! my favorite favorite favorite journaling youtuber is overall adventures. she is just so sweet, relaxed, thoughtful, gentle, and encouraging. seriously, if you want to journal or enjoy journaling, please do check out her videos. she's such a light. more journaling youtube videos i like are in my playlist. i've watched probably 80, so you're welcome for sorting out the crappy from the lovely.  i'm also always adding to this. i have a lot of different themed journals. i've kept quote notebooks, workout journals, book notebooks, gratitude journals... if it works for you, great, but i tend to forget about them. i like just using one, and i like how the leuchtturm1917 makes it easy to keep a table of contents. finally, if you're interested in mood tracking, whether just because it'll be helpful or because of a mental illness, i have tried so so many different apps, and what i have settled on is perspective. it is simple, cute, and helpful. phew! long post! so i hope this helps kick start some ideas. let me know if you have any favorite prompts or resources! :) this post is written for @wanderer-zine // knowing yourself

[crossroadsdimension]

Puppet AU -- Chapter 13

I decided to post this before the special edition journal got out in the open, since that would get everyone’s attention.

This chapter’s got some...interesting things in it. You’ll see what I mean.

Thanks to @howtotrainyournana for beta-reading this.

Strange Dealings

The Master grew bored of the alien worlds of their dimension rather quickly after his initial arrival on each one. Ford wasn’t sure whether it was because the aliens had no resistance force or because the aliens ran screaming as soon as they caught sight of them.

The Master conjured up a number of creatures to keep his authority in his place on the planets, then collected his puppets and returned to his throne room, bored.

Only for something else to catch his attention.

“HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?” The Master coldly eyed the two creatures that were standing in his throne room. “I DON’T RECALL LEAVING THE FEARAMID OPEN FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO WANDER IN AS YOU PLEASE.”

“We informed your servants that we were requesting a deal with you.” One of the two black-cloaked figures in the center of the throne room gave a slight bow. “And we speak the truth in that.”

Ford suppressed a shudder. There was something wrong about the voice of this creature. It scraped and flowed over him like a landslide and oil at the same time, and the sensation did not feel like it should exist.

Indeed, there was a chance that the aliens themselves should not exist. Something warped and moved around them that made their edges blurred, not quite constant.

“DO YOU, NOW?” The Master arranged the Pines in front of his throne: Dipper and Ford on his right, Stan and Mabel on his left. “I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT DARK ARMS LIKE YOURSELVES DIDN’T DO DEALS.”

Dark Arms? These creatures had strange, curling dark horns rising up over hooded heads and sharp beaks and glowing red eyes that could be seen from under the hoods. Ford wasn’t sure where the name came from, but he wasn’t quite sure that it fit these creatures entirely.

He wasn’t about to question that now though. He wasn’t required to.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” the first rasped in reply. “We have had some…difficulty with a certain project. The project has learned to avoid and destroy any mark we make on a dimension. We wish to have it brought back under our power.”

Ford’s ears twitched.

The old scientist in him attempted to stir, but it was quickly crushed. The Master hasn’t asked for him to question; what use did he have of silently asking himself questions?

The Master laughed. “WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I SHOULD BE INTERESTED?”

“The project goes by Fire Storm and has access to the Continuum Shift. She has trapped us in a loop in time and could do the same to you.”

The Master stopped laughing, but his eye was still crinkled up in amusement. “DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT SOMETHING LIKE THAT CAN AFFECT ME? TIME DOESN’T EXIST HERE!”

“That will not matter to a World Jumper.”

Ford’s ears twitched. This was the first he’d heard of such a thing as a World Jumper. His mind raced through conclusions without his permission: the name suggested that the person was capable of traveling between dimensions, or at least between planets….

“LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOU WANT A WORLD JUMPER THAT SCREWED YOU OVER.” The Master’s eye flicked through a number of different visions – other dimensions, perhaps? Ford couldn’t get a clear view of them, and he wasn’t about to turn his head around completely in order to get a better look. “WHY COME TO ME?”

“Because you have found a way to keep your servants obedient.” The Dark Arms looked down at Ford, who didn’t meet the alien’s gaze. “We require that knowledge in order to bring Fire Storm under our power properly.”

“HMMM….” The Master tapped below his eye. “SOUNDS LIKE AN UNEVEN DEAL. YOU WANT A BOUNTY ON THIS KID AND WHAT I DID TO MY PUPPETS, BUT WHAT DO I GET FROM YOU IN RETURN?”

The Dark Arms looked at each other solemnly at the question. Ford and his family said nothing, watching the visitors in case the Master decided not to take the deal and instead use the creatures for target practice.

“We will owe you a favor,” the first Dark Arms rasped. “Will that suffice?”

The Master said nothing for a moment. “A BIG FAVOR.”

“Cipher—“

“BECAUSE THIS IS NOT SOMETHING SMALL YOU ARE ASKING FOR. IF YOU’RE STUCK IN A LOOP, THAT WILL HAVE TO BE BROKEN FOR YOU TO GET THIS ‘FIRE STORM’. YOU’RE GOING TO BE IN MY DEBT UNTIL YOU’RE DEAD.”

“Or you’re dead,” pointed out the second Dark Arms. The first elbowed him in the gut.

The Master burst out laughing. “ME? DEAD? UNLESS YOU’RE THREATENING ME, THAT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.” His eye narrowed. “IS IT?”

“No,” the first Dark Arms replied – possibly a little too quickly, but Ford wasn’t about to feel suspicious of them. He wasn’t required to; therefore, he felt nothing. “We wouldn’t dare to suggest that you have an end.” He shot his companion a pointed look, then looked back at the Master. “Your assistance and knowledge in exchange for a favor you can call in over us at any time. We accept this deal.”

“IT’S NOT OFFICIAL UNTIL WE SHAKE ON IT!” The Master held out a hand, which burst into blue flames.

The Dark Arms hesitated at the sight of the fire, then reached out with a claw and grasped the Master’s hand. The deal was made.

“NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT.” The Master settled back in the throne and motioned for the two aliens to leave. “GO ON. YOU’VE GOT NOTHING ELSE OF INTEREST TO ME.”

The Dark Arms exchanged looks, then retreated from the throne room.

“I DON’T SEE WHY THOSE BOZOS ARE SO WORRIED ABOUT THIS ‘FIRE STORM.’” The Master snorted. “SERIOUSLY, THEY’RE PROBABLY JUST A MORTAL MEATSACK WHO’S IN OVER THEIR HEAD AND ONLY WON AGAINST THEM THROUGH DUMB LUCK. PHEH. STILL, THOUGH, THAT DEAL WASN’T A WASTE OF TIME. I GOT ANOTHER ALIEN RACE IN DEBT TO ME.” The Master chuckled to himself.

Ford closed his eyes. Fire Storm…whoever it was, he supposed there was a greater chance of him running into them now, if they were spotted.  Much like the counterparts of himself he was now charged to collect, so too would he find this one and bring them in.

It was now simply a matter of them showing their face.

“OOP! LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ANOTHER ONE!”

Ford opened his eyes at the Master’s teasing tone and blinked when he saw the blue-skinned troll from before making his way into the throne room, dragging a battered and knocked-out Stanford behind him. This one looked like he had been around the multiverse for a good number of years – his hair was only starting to turn gray.

His counterpart also happened to be unconscious.

“Picked this one up a few dimensions over.” The troll threw Ford’s counterpart down in front of the throne, causing the man to groan in response. “He was already pretty knocked around, so I figured I’d knock him out and drag ‘im here so you could find where he’s supposed to go.”

“I COULD HAVE JUST SENT FORDSY TO YOU TO PICK HIM UP AND DROP OFF THE REWARD LATER. I’VE ALREADY DONE THAT FOR A FEW OTHER ONES.” The Master motioned with one hand, causing Ford’s counterpart to levitate up to eye-height. A snap of his fingers healed any wounds the human had, and the Master poked Ford’s counterpart in the head with a finger. “THERE WE GO…WAIT.” The Master’s eye narrowed. “THIS ONE IS – WHAT IS THIS?!”

Ford’s ears quickly moved down as the Master’s normal volume increased into a low roar of anger.

“THIS ONE DOESN’T HAVE A ME WHO MARKED HIM!”  The Master turned his attention sharply to the bounty hunter, who had the instincts to flinch back as the Master turned red. “THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! THERE’S NO WAY THAT – OH. OH.” The Master’s eye flickered, and he jolted back to yellow. “BUT THAT’S – SHE SHOULD BE DEAD BY NOW, NOT –“

“Who?” The troll quickly recovered himself. “Can I go after her to get the bounty this guy would have—“

The Master burst out laughing. “HA! AS AMUSING AS IT WOULD BE TO SEE YOU TRY, NO. I STILL NEED YOU TO KEEP UP YOUR END OF THE BARGAIN. I’LL TAKE CARE OF HER IN MY OWN WAY; YOU JUST KEEP WORRYING ABOUT COLLECTING FORDS.”

“And this one?” The troll motioned to Ford’s counterpart, who was still floating in the air by the Master’s power, unconscious.

“I’LL WORRY ABOUT HIM. GO ON, SHOO.” The Master motioned for the troll to get out of the throne room, which he did – reluctantly. As soon as the troll was gone the Master snapped his fingers, encasing Ford’s counterpart in a maroon bubble with a six-fingered sigil on the side. “NOW TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS ONE….”

“Hey, buddy! Think ya got a free moment?”

Ford’s ears twitched. The voice sounded like the Master’s, but it had less volume to it – must be a counterpart.

“YEAH, SURE!” The Master brightened instantly. “GET IN HERE!”

Another triangle – slightly smaller, with a tinge of orange to his edges – floated into the room with his eye upturned in a crinkled smile.

The Cipher whistled. “Man, I like what you’ve done with this place! It’s nice to see that you’ve managed to settle in!”

The Master laughed. “IT’S NICE TO BE SETTLED IN! SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, BUDDY?”

“Well, I heard that you’d managed to get the Pines under your control and—“ the Cipher cut himself off and pointed at the bubble in the Master’s hand. “Is that a second Sixer?”

“HUH, THIS? OH, YEAH – APPARENTLY, THIS ONE DOESN’T HAVE A CIPHER LOOKING FOR HIM, SO I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT WHAT I COULD DO WITH HIM.” The Master bounced the sphere from hand to hand, not really paying attention to the shadow of the figure trapped inside. “SINCE I’VE ALREADY GOT A FORD AND ALL. IT MIGHT BE NICE TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE, BUT I DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH TWO OF THEM WHEN THE ONE I HAVE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH OF A HANDFUL.” The Master turned his eye to Ford, who lowered his eyes to the floor.

“I think I know a Cipher who might like another one.”

“OH?”

“Yeah; one of us caught a Crescent when he was coming through the portal.” The Cipher let out a laugh. “He’s got him working as a bounty hunter for Fords now, can you believe that? He hasn’t caught any yet, though – I bet he’d like someone to practice a few techniques on, if you know what I mean.”

“OH, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. WHICH NIGHTMARE REALM’S HE AT?”

Ford heard the other Cipher give a set of dimensional coordinates, and the Master laughed again.

“THAT ONE, HUH? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HE’D PULL SOMETHING LIKE THAT! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HIS FORD GETS CAUGHT BY HIS OWN BROTHER! HA!”

Had Ford felt more himself, a chill would have run down his spine at the thought of his own brother hunting him down. However, as he and Stan were both serving the Master, he knew that wasn’t going to happen.

“Y’KNOW, IF THERE ARE DIMENSIONS WITHOUT CIPHERS, I WONDER….” The Master trailed off thoughtfully. “HAVING JUST ONE DIMENSION LIKE THIS IS BORING, AND IT’S GOING TO START LOSING SUBSTANCE WHEN MY WEIRDNESS HITS THE EDGES OF THIS DIMENSION. WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN IF I REACHED OUT FOR OTHER DIMENSIONS?”

Stan shifted on the other side of the throne, but his movement was slight enough that Ford’s ears only twitched in his direction.

“Other dimensions?” The other Cipher sounded thoughtful. Then he laughed. “That sounds like a great idea! There have got to be more dimensions that we can liberate out there than just this one! But how do you expect to do it?”

“OH, I HAVE A FEW…IDEAS.” The Master sounded like he knew what he was doing. “TAKE OUR ALTERNATE THIS LITTLE SIXER AS A ‘GIFT’ FOR HIS NEW PET TO CHEW ON. I AM GOING TO SET MINE TO WORK.”

“And how do you know I’m not going to take this one for myself?” the other Cipher retorted.

“LET’S JUST SAY…I HAVE MY WAYS.”

There was a moment of silence at that, and then a flash of power – the other Cipher had made his escape from their dimension.

“I’M GOING TO BE OUT DIMENSION-SHOPPING,” the Master announced. “STAY HERE UNTIL I GET BACK.”

And then he too was gone.

Another Time, Another Place

“I’m going to try something.”

Ford’s ears twitched at the Guildmaster’s voice, and he looked up at where she stood in the middle of the Mystery Shack’s living room.

“What are you gonna do?” Mabel – an untouched Mabel, not Ford’s own great-niece – looked at the Guildmaster with a curious expression.

“I want to see if I can rescue these guys earlier in their timeline.” The Guildmaster cracked her knuckles together. “If they can be rescued with less damage from that triangular beastie than they have now, they would definitely be better off.”

Ford blinked, his expression remaining blank and unchanged when she looked over at him.

“Are you suggesting that you can time travel?” A version of him in the appearance of a sphinx looked at the Guildmaster from where he was laying on the floor. Mabel – Ford’s actual niece, not a counterpart – was sitting next to him, appearing nervous.

“People like me do that all the time traveling between dimensions, since the rate of time is different in each one.” The Guildmaster made a slight waving motion, as though she could clear the doubt from the room. “If I get it right, I bet I can punch a hole through space and time in order to go back to some point in the past when they’d be faster to recover.” She looked around the room. “Any objections to me trying?”

A second version of Ford sitting in a chair across the room from him – still human, as Ford had been before his transformation – rose to his feet and pulled a blaster out from under his trench coat. “I don’t see why we can’t attempt it, but you are going to need more weaponry than just what you have equipped.”

“I can summon an army of allies who I am sure would love to tear this guy to pieces.” The Guildmaster grinned, but there was a dark glint of something in her eyes that offset the eagerness she was displaying. “There are a lot of people out in the multiverse that would want a piece of Bill for what he’s done.” She looked around the room at the figures assembled there – both Ford and his family and their counterparts, as well as two young men with bright blond hair that the Guildmaster had introduced as her nephews. “You guys ready to give this a shot?”

“Yeah! Let’s do it!” One of Mabel’s counterparts pulled a grappling hook out from under her sweater and prepared to fire it.

“I’m up for round 2.” Stanley’s counterpart grinned and cracked his knuckles.

The Guildmaster gave a thumbs-up, then motioned at the air in front of her.

A bright crackle of blue lightning flew from the Guildmaster’s fingertips, and a bright blue, circular, stable portal appeared in the middle of the living room.

Ford stiffened. There was something about this that was…oddly familiar, but he couldn’t quite put a finger on what it was.

The Guildmaster started to step into the portal—only for her foot to collide with the circle of energy and not pass through.

“What in Primus…?” The Guildmaster frowned. Then her eyes widened sharply as the portal rippled. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”

Mabel’s counterpart started to lower her chosen weapon. “What is it?”

“Their past is a fixed point in time, I can’t go back and change any of it!” The Guildmaster clenched her right fist and slammed it into the circle of energy in front of her, causing it to ripple again as the blue glow faded and became something else.

Ford recognized the walls and floor of the Fearamid’s throne room as soon as he saw them. He could also see the Cipher he once called Master, and there was something else in view of the portal as well, but he could not see them well from where he was sitting.

The Guildmaster gritted her teeth and snarled through them; Ford got the feeling he was going to be used to get her anger out later.

“It was worth a shot,” Stanley’s counterpart said with a shrug.

Ford’s human counterpart sighed and hid his blaster away again. “Indeed it was.”

“There’s still something I can do, though.”

Ford blinked at the Guildmaster’s statement. He saw that her fists were still clenched in anger, but there was a grin on her face now. His ears flicked forward slightly.

“I’ve always wanted to see how Cipher would react to something like this.”

The Guildmaster grinned wickedly and took a deep breath, then shouted into the open portal between this one and the Nightmare Realm. “THREE ANGLES MAKES A NINCOMPOOP IGNORAMAGON!”

Ford sat up ramrod straight as his eyes widened sharply; the figures on the other side of the portal started to turn in order to find the source of the Guildmaster’s voice as the people on this side of the portal stared at the Guildmaster in surprise.

The Guildmaster stuck her tongue out. “Pbbbbbbth! HA!” Then with a flick of her wrist, the portal collapsed in on itself and disappeared from sight.

It took a moment before Ford’s brother recovered from the shock of the Guildmaster’s actions.

“That was you?!” Stan stared at the Guildmaster with wide eyes, jaw dropping in shock before a grin crossed his face. “Do you know how long I’ve been wonderin’ who ta thank fer hearin’ that particular name?”

Ford couldn’t believe what the Guildmaster had just done; he continued to sit stiff as a board, hands clenching the arm-rests of his chair as the color swiftly drained from his face.

She just – why did – that was her?! That portal – how could she have –

Oh. Oh no.

“Maria, that was extremely reckless,” one of the Guildmaster’s nephews said disapprovingly – a tall, young man with blond hair that looked almost white, and a reserved air about him.

“Like I was going to let an opportunity pass me by!” the Guildmaster retorted. “That eldritch monster’s lucky that this thing’s a fixed point in time, or else I would have jumped in there and summoned the Guild and taken him on right then and there! It would have saved us a lot of trouble in the long run, believe me!”

Mabel and Dipper exchanged wide-eyed looks while Stan’s eyebrows shot even higher, half-impressed and half-startled.

Ford’s tails curled around him tightly, ears flicking back against his head. “D-do you realize what you’ve done?”

The Guildmaster turned at Ford’s choked question, her grin fading into an expression of confusion. “What do you mean? Are you talking about the portal thing?” She paused. “Oh, yeah, you guys don’t know – I completely forgot about that. It’s okay, Sixer – I do that all the time. I’m a World Jumper; it’s kinda what I do. I mean, sure I’m called the Fire Storm, but fire’s not the only thing that I mess with.”

That only made Ford even more nervous as his fears were confirmed. The fur on his tails started to rise slowly; he wasn’t sure what the Guildmaster would do when she found out that he had known this and hadn’t informed her. “They arrived not long after this event and placed a bounty on your head. They made a deal with him.”

“A bounty?” repeated the other of the Guildmaster’s nephews – a tall young man with his hair sticking up like a broom.

“They who, Sixer?” The Guildmaster’s expression shifted over to a frown. She took a few steps closer to Ford.

He sank down into the chair, expecting to be beaten as soon as he told her. Withholding information of any sort couldn’t have been a good thing. “The, the Dark Arms.” Ford closed his eyes tightly, expecting a near-murderous response from the Guildmaster, and for she to take her anger out on him.

The room went completely silent; Ford could feel the tension in the air as he waited.

“Did they say anything about me thwarting any plan of theirs?”

Ford’s ears raised themselves a little; the Guildmaster was speaking…softly? But there was a serious tone in it as well – she must be holding her anger back until she had all the information she could concerning the matter.

Ford nodded a little. “Yes.”

“Did they mention the Continuum Shift by name?”

Ford nodded again. “Yes.”

“You know about the cosmic reset button?” one of Ford’s counterparts asked in surprise. He guessed it was his human counterpart, since the voice didn’t have an underlying growl to it.

That phrase was familiar; the Mas – Cipher had used that.

“Yeah,” the Guildmaster replied. “I know how to hit it – I did it when the Dark Arms made a few moves the multiverse didn’t like.” Ford could hear her clenching her teeth. She let out a sigh through her nose. “It’s only a last resort for me, though, and I doubt that hitting it now would be of much help to Sixer and the others.” There was a pause for a moment, and then the Guildmaster said, softly, “Sixer, thank you for telling me about this.”

Thank you?

Ford cracked his eyes open a little, confused by the Guildmaster’s word choice. He focused on her face and saw that…there was no anger there. Only…concern, which still didn’t feel right directed at him. “You-you’re not mad?”

“Mad?” The Guildmaster shook her head, then frowned, but there was no malice or anger in her gaze. “I’m not mad at you if that’s what you’re suggesting. You didn’t know who exactly I was to them; it’s not your fault.”

Ford found it ridiculous that the Guildmaster was just brushing this off like nothing. He certainly wouldn’t have.

Ford saw his human counterpart look at him with a worried expression. “Maria, something tells me this is an instinctive response.”

Ford’s tails twitched as the Guildmaster’s brow furrowed even deeper, and she sighed and shook her head.

“Sixer, I’m not going to take my anger at the Dark Arms out on you,” she said. “It wouldn’t be right, and it wouldn’t be healthy for either of us.” She looked at him, mouth pressed into a straight line. “I don’t do that sort of thing, and I don’t ever intend to. You have my word on that.”

Ford blinked, disbelieving. Once again that bitter laugh echoed in his head, just as it had the other times that the Guildmaster had said such a thing – she was not as bound to her word as he was; she could go back on it at any time.

And yet…and yet….

He had only been under her power for a short time and he already saw how different she was from his previous master, how instead of using every means she had to get what she wanted, she assisted others.

She had vowed to give them back their freedom as best as she could, and she had yet to do so, but…some small part of him was starting to wonder if she actually could.

The Guildmaster held out a hand, jolting Ford out of his thoughts and causing him to flinch back, expecting a slap to the face. The Guildmaster winced at his reaction, then kept going forward and placed her hand on his shoulder.

A pulse of warmth – heat, yes, but it felt like there was something else with it as well – spread out from the point of contact and into Ford, causing him to stiffen in surprise at it as he looked at the Guildmaster in wary confusion.

“I am not like Cipher,” the Guildmaster said evenly. “You’re safe here, Sixer. I promise.”

Ford blinked, thrown off by the Guildmaster’s words even as his body relaxed instinctively into the warmth that she was pressing into him. His mind was still…uncertain, of her, and of what it was that she was capable of. But there were some things that were proving her words true. The Guildmaster did not create destruction as his previous master had, and she did not have his temper.

That, and she was….not angered with him.

He had known a word that could have described such a thing, once, but it escaped him now.

Ford sighed and let his body relax completely. The Guildmaster would take some more time yet to get used to, it seemed.

[harliquinne]

Personal long post, suffering from BPD/Mood disorder/Anxiety/Depression/ADHD

What ever good vibe, positive assurance, high power or fuck if God exists and is paying attention to my life out of the many- Please grant me power, strength, and will. I can't live much longer with this heavy dripping tar in my chest. I can't live much longer wasting away in my bed. I can't handle this overdone feeling of guilt, sadness, and most of all the anxiety, much longer. I am struggling. I am low. I don't feel like living even though for so long I told myself I could never end my life just for the fact that it's a miracle I can even be here. But I cannot handle this god damn feeling, I cannot handle this fucking tar. I can't fucking deal with the pollution that has spread throughout my torso and head. On top of that, I'm a loser. I've always found the easy way out and made excuses and didn't care. School was a joke- I skipped, I dropped out then came back and made up my credits & graduated with a HS diploma at a school for those who have had bad experiences that held them back. I started smoking cigarettes & weed when I was 14. I'm 24 now. I smoke over half a pack a day. I chain smoke because it's therapeutic just to be able to take a deep breath in and out. Same with weed- all day every day. Never thought it was problem til recently when I ran out and don't have a cent to my name so I can't buy any(and would it I could instead of buying food when I'm starving). I scraped and scraped every piece for resin. I looked at the carpet for fallen scraps. I got all the kief I could manage out of grinders. I crushed the ASHES and smoked it, just in case I missed anything. Do you see the problem here? That's fucking nuts. I am so desperate. I scrounged 6 dollars in quarters just to buy a pack of cigarettes. Then I did it again when I ran out. I write in my journal til 5 am every night. I furiously write. I write pages and pages of self-destructive thoughts, self-hate, repeated lines, word games, things I do that people notice, things I do that I notice, the horrible horrible thoughts I have that Tumblr of all places would dox me and rip me to shreds. And the sad thing is, my enemy...this tar monster inside- it's me. It's just me. I'm going through so much(so much that I can take, there are stronger people who have it worse...I know). There are many times I just don't think I'm going to make it. I'm getting help but I just don't listen and I don't know why. I'm not trying to be this way. Borderline Personality Disorder. I was told that I am believed to be 'better' and 'fixed' in four months through intensive therapy. In truth, if I'd just exercise- apparently, I'd be okay. That may be true...but the problem is that I'm so fucking off the charts with all these overwhelming emotions that I can't fucking move to even brush my teeth or eat or shower. I left my boyfriend. Then he came after me. Then I came back to him. Then he said he needed time after he begged me back. Now this fuck doesn't know if he wants to be with me or if it's best. Now, to any other fine ass lady who don't take no shit(the real me under the globs of tar)- would say FUCK YOU I ALREADY LEFT YOU THE FUCK YOU BEG ME BACK FOR YOU FUCK! But I have this problem of a devastating psycho intense fear of being abandoned. So even though I left just a day before he pulled this shit, I'm back to pitifully wailing like I lost a child- begging him not to leave. The tables turned just like that. Even though I just left with a straight face and took all my shit, even the sheets off the bed. I took every last thing but a stray shoe on the floor and a note. I didn't cry. I didn't care. I was fed up. I was done and over it. I moved in somewhere else cuz I have a great best friend- I had no regret. And just like that, I'm back to being the little baby, fucked up and begging just like he just was. I cannot stand myself because my mental illness traps me. Anyone who doesn't have a mental illness pulls that shit- 'just calm down, just block him, forget him, relax, move on, you're better than that, you'll be alright., just DO it, you have to grow up, you just need this, you just need to meditate'. You either just have no fucking clue what it feels like or you are The Batman because that is some serious mental strength if you can just calm the fuck down when It feels like 10 trains of thought running full speed, dangerously close to one another (which is why from 8pm-5am, I'm writing like I'm about to get caught and killed). Or get up and go for a run and really get into it and sweat and work...this tar just...has me and I'm so stuck. I am immobilized. I am trapped in my mind. This isn't about me getting in a break up, promise. It's so much more than that. I cause my family grief. I always have and they love me so so so much, and I just constantly cause them pain. I'm so low and in mental anguish all of the time that they feel that they failed raising me and it's not their fault. I feel so much guilt for the craziness I have put my loved ones through because it never seems that I learn from mistakes. They try and they try, they spend so much money for me to make it and be successful, but I truly convince myself that I am a very lost cause. It's been over a decade. I have not progressed. I didn't go to college which typically isn't a big deal, but for those like me...I struggle at just keeping a part-time job. I cannot hide my expression and I don't lie but rarely...so everyone can feel the heaviness of my misery, which is obviously uncomfortable. Positive posts of- you're going to make it! You're loved! You're special! You are okay the way you are! - I hate them. It's such a nice thing to say, and it's not just meant for me so how dare I? But I never buy it and continue to rot in self-hate. The reason I post this, is because I hope people see this and learn something on mental illnesses and what it means to call someone crazy when they are suffering...they might not even be going through anything or ever had, this shit just happens to some of us. I'm just so angry. There is so much that I technically as a human being who has the ability to move, can do...it's not that I refuse to do it, I don't think it's laziness but it very well could be(?), I just don't have any will left in me. Nothing makes me happy anymore. Not the things that used to and not new things. I just feel alone and like I don't belong anywhere...and I don't know what I should do. I'm very lost. I'm sorry there is no cut on this post. I'm on mobile and have no idea how to add it on the app. I just needed to write this. I need people to see it. I need people, anyone to be aware. My boyfriend and I could never talk about anxiety or depression because he said it was something people put on themselves and he has 'anxiety' all the time- which people like him, often mistake as the 'anxiety' you get while talking in front of class or getting grades back or going on a date for the first time- heads up for those who think like him...open your eyes and see that the little tingle in your heart and your clammy hands are not the same thing as crippling anxiety, I'm sorry- please help us, not down play us who suffer. I've been ranting for awhile at this point and I think I'm gonna stop now. Im just really struggling and can't stop writing. Im really low. Please anyone who sees this- mental illness is a real issue and needs to be focused on. It needs to be heavily addressed. There are so many people like me...some worse, some more stable...some people who truly can't take it and end their lives...some people who can't contain the monster inside and take it out on others, may that be verbal/physical abuse, school shootings, massacres, animal abuse... It's painful. It's deeply painful. Imagine losing someone you love...now imagine feeling a similar grief every day and you don't really know why...or if you're like me, imagine if you felt as if sludge/tar/muck/pollution dripped down your insides every day... I'm a very beautiful girl(I believe so), I can be talented, I can be fierce, I can be a queen, I can achieve anything I want, I can work out, I can party, I can socialize, I can love, I can be a shining star and most of all- I can be happy and I can make it through. However...I am being held down by this monster of goopy tar...I am deep inside myself, trapped. Watching myself chase all I love away from me...alone with this suffering. Bruh, if this ain't the longest, emo ass post I ever did see and it's written by me. I hope nobody gets mad because it's a long post but I needed to put this out there. I'm going down. So far down. Forgive me.