#this song is destroying my cool city girl persona!!!!!!!!!!

[fragilecapric0rnn]

every time i hear sister golden hair by america, it implores me to look at mountain homes on zillow

[arielmagicesi]

often when a series ends and especially when there is such a show-stopping ending, before I can analyze how I feel, I have to first list everything that actually happened. Now I don’t know if Steven Universe is actually over but I just. what the fuck that was too much I didn’t have time to react before getting slapped with something else

spoilers below obviously

I was tempted to start listing from the point of “Gem Drill” because I’ve heard that only a year has passed since then and I mean, what a fucking wild year for poor Steven. I’m also tempted to start listing from “A Single Pale Rose” because shit moved FAST starting from there. But I’m just gonna list everything that happened in “Change Your Mind.”

It’s kind of what makes me suspect that this is the final episode of the entire series, because although plot pacing has been accelerating throughout the entire series (going from “Steven learns how to bubble” taking 10 episodes, to “diamond showdown” being a minor subplot of 1) and although the plot pacing went super-speed for this whole diamond arc, this episode shoved EVERY LAST THING IN.

stuff that could’ve waited (Lars and Sadie’s reunion) and stuff that should’ve taken vastly longer if it even should’ve happened at all (White Diamond’s lightning-speed reformation) was all put into one episode. now, it was deftly combined, and I liked almost every individual part, and there was some possibly-unintended comedy to it all (”she’s GOOOOONE!!!!” and White Diamond demonstrating the big ship’s pussy-out look, etc) but holy hell I would have loved for it to have gone at a slower pace so that they could have explored some of the stuff.

[also, my ability to react to things is lessened. meeting Sunstone would’ve been, I’m not joking, the highlight of my week just two years ago. now it wasn’t even the coolest of the fusions we met, and meeting the fusions was an incredibly minor point in the episode. also i have other things in my life now lol]

obviously, part of this pacing is due to the airing schedule of the show. on a normal airing schedule, I’d feel emotionally exhausted- this would have been, what, a month after the Pink-Diamond-is-Rose-Quartz reveal? but because this show airs in the dumbest way possible, we have like five hundred years between plot points. however, Steven did not? Pearl did not? Garnet did not? CONNIE did not? how the fuck are they getting along?

secondly, this was all in one episode, so yeah holy shit, some whiplash occurring for this here viewer

(one final note: I now take back getting annoyed that we got Watermelon Moana last week because it was so gentle compared to this)

anyway, my promised list of Crazy Shit that happened in one 40-minute episode:

1. Steven gets a flashback that tells him about a previous transgression of Pink’s, where we meet some other aliens. pointing to an old rebellion?

2. we see another Steven identity crisis with him flashing through Steven-Pink-Rose

3. Steven convinces Blue Diamond that she’s abusive and she immediately realizes the error of her ways and decides to help him and Connie out. (also, Connie talks to Diamonds a lot, I love her. damn girl)

4. we retrieve the bubbled Crystal Gems

5. Yellow and Blue have a big public diamond showdown

6. we discover that Yellow Diamond has emotions and tears, and feels pressured. shocking. if only the planets she’d colonized had thought to sit her down and chat

7. Yellow decides to join Steven’s side as well

8. they make a plan to escape via the leg-ship

9. White Diamond decides to show up and do her Creepy Act and she lands her big torso on the legs (confirming the obvious theory that the ships act as one big body)

10. Diamond Showdown Part 2, where Yellow and Blue attempt to fight White

11. Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot return. We see Lapis and Peridot’s new forms.

12. Bismuth has fixed the arm ships and upper-cuts an upper-crust for the first time in her life in a really cool way.

13. Steven manages to say words to White Diamond, and so do Yellow and Blue.

14. White Diamond GREY-IFIES BLUE AND YELLOW DIAMOND

15. which also means we find out exactly what the fuck is wrong with White Pearl (also may I say, this is something I wrote about in my fic, accessible on my AO3, linked in my About)

16. Steven falls dramatically with the gems of his friends in his arms

17. Steven finds out he can (and decides to) retrieve gems from their gems by fusing with them

18. We see Smoky Quartz form mid-air

19. We see Amethyst’s new form

20. Steven fuses with Pearl for the first time ever, and we see Rainbow Quartz 2.0 for the first time

21. We see Pearl’s new form

22. We see what a pink diamond/rose quartz forms with a garnet for the very first time

23. Steven’s own first fusion with Garnet

24. Sunstone attempts to start shit with the giant robot

25. We see Garnet’s new form

26. Bismuth presents the replacement for the Sword of Rose Quartz, as a gift to Connie

27. We see the full-blown temple fusion for the very first time ever

28. Steven has his first fusion with all the Crystal Gems

29. We meet Obsidian and she succeeds in starting shit with the giant robot

30. We see Bismuth, Peridot, Lapis, and Connie all contribute to the fight and survive horrifyingly dangerous scenarios. (still gotta wonder what the HELL Connie’s mom was thinking... she went from not letting her kid watch inaccurate TV shows to letting her nearly die countless times in outer space at the hands of alien dictator robots)

31. let me just add, I <3 Connie and she deserves the world. bravest kid in the universe

32. the Crystal Gems find a way to invade the robot

33. the four main Crystal Gems face up against White Diamond herself and her grey-ified pearl and grey-ified fellow diamonds

34. White reveals a bit to us via villain-monologue that we probably could’ve guessed already: she wants every gem to be flawless, to be identical to her essentially yet subservient- which she considers to be synonymous with flawlessness- and her theory about the way the colors of the diamonds informs their personalities. Including that Pink is part of White, despite White’s dislike of this fact.

35. White grey-ifies the Crystal Gems

36. Connie arrives, also fully ready to fight this bitch

37. the grey-ified Crystal Gems restrain Steven and Connie

38. Steven gets to have that full-fledged conversation he wanted with White, I guess

39. BIGGEST ACTUAL REVEAL OF THE EPISODE: We find out what happens when Steven’s gem is removed from his stomach!!! that’s been a question since episode ONE I think

40. we get to see a Pink Steven and a Human Steven, which is pretty cool. I compare it to what might happen if you got split into What You Got From Your Dad and What You Got From Your Mom

41. this is just my theory, but we find out, I think, that Steven’s general strength in everyday movement comes from diamond strength and that he turns weaker than a baby without it, which makes sense because he’s always had it

42. White Diamond attempts to grey-ify Pink

43. we find out, as Pink Steven so eloquently says, that Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz really, really is gone. she died in childbirth essentially. I think he might someday manage to access her full memories but I don’t think that persona is ever returning

44. we see what Steven’s bubbles/shield would look like in full diamond form

45. the badass scene of Connie CARRYING STEVEN TO HIMSELF?

46. we discover that either Steven is the most special boy ever, or White’s powers are no match for love or some shit

47. we get to see Steven...  fuse with himself?

48. everyone gets un-greyified. Including White Pearl. the white-pearl-is-old-pink-pearl theory is confirmed, though I think it may have been in a flashback in “Familiar” and hinted at during Steven’s flashback at the start of the episode when Blue said “she’ll take away your pearl”

49. we see Steven/Pink’s full empathy powers in play, I think? that’s what happened when he pink-ified the whole group? INCLUDING WHITE?

50. Steven gives White Diamond one of his lightning-round therapy sessions, and she decides to Be Nice Now, Actually

51. that’s right. THERE ARE NO VILLAINS I’M GONNA LOSE MY MIND

52. the ENTIRE GROUP GOES TO EARTH

53. meaning that White leaves Homeworld (and “her own head”) for the first time in eons, according to the other Diamonds anyway

54. we get to see Sadie and the Cool Kids’ new looks. minor I know, but Jenny looks great in a suit!

55. also minor but cool: they’re covering “Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart”

56. for the second time in like 2 weeks, Diamond Ships interrupt a townwide Beach City gathering

57. we find out that Beach City is full of fucking idiots who thought that the ship was like, a grand finale to the concert? instead of full-on panicking mayhaps? cause every time this shit happens it usually leads to mayhem?

58. the Off-Colors, coincidentally, finally arrive on Earth at the exact same time

59. Lars meets Lion for the first time as Pink Zombie Brothers

60. Lars and Sadie reunion, in which we also find out that Sadie is like a legendary figure for the Off Colors

61. THE OFF COLORS MEET THE FUCKING DIAMONDS

62. Greg and Steven reunite

63. The Diamonds meet and finally heal the Centipeedles

64. The Diamonds visit Rose’s fountain and get it working as a four-diamond extravaganza event

65. every gem from the temple is brought there to be healed. we see the healing of, I assume, p much every monster we’ve met

66. we get to see the Heaven and Earth Beetle, who are pebbles too, and lesbians!

67. callback to the memories of the four Diamonds having swimming pool time

68. Jasper gets healed and naturally tries to destroy Steven immediately, then looks up to see all three of her diamonds. She and Amethyst get to bond, I guess.

69. Callback to the intro itself with the “We Are the Crystal Gems” song and all the new Crystal Gems chilling on the beach

70. New song, “Change Your Mind” and it’s cute obviously

My feelings on the episode? So besides what I wrote above the list, re: whiplash, I think that from a realistic standpoint and a writing-fantasy standpoint, it is some wild shit. For all three diamonds to achieve a FULL redemption arc in one episode? Too much. For there to be NO villains? Come on. And for the lesson to be, we should just give heartless dictators love and they’ll grow hearts? Worrying.

However, as I reached the end of the episode, I thought about a time in high school when my teacher asked me which superpower I’d want, and then annoyed the class by seeming morally superior by saying he’d want to speak every language. Thinking on it later, I thought- I’d want more than every language. I’d want the ability to TRULY understand others, and to make them TRULY understand me- and each other. Because yes, OF COURSE every conflict can be boiled down to a lack of understanding, a lack of empathy. If we had superhuman empathy on our side, we really could do away with violence. But in the real world, we don’t have superhuman empathy, we just have regular empathy, and some don’t even try to use that. So saying “have a little empathy for your oppressors” is ghoulish.

But Steven DOES have superhuman empathy. In fact, all the Diamonds do. Blue can make others cry, White can make others be identical to her, and Yellow can give others fear and command. And they use it only for evil. But Pink can make others understand. And she had only used it for frivolous things until she finally combined with a non-gem life form. Then, human empathy met superhuman empathy, and did what it had to do. THAT is how Steven defeated the Diamond Reign of Terror.

That being said: I don’t know if the target audience of kids really caught that nuance, considering that the episode went so fucking fast. Additionally: some of that superhuman empathy could’ve been pointed at the legions of crushed, oppressed little gems- which I know it was- but the focus was SO intensely on, like, “poor Yellow never got enough credit for being SO good at imperialism!”

So yeah. Both writing-wise, pacing-wise, plot-wise, message-wise... I did love it, as I do the whole show, but I also thought it could’ve benefited from some space, some criticism, and some better organization down at Cartoon Network’s scheduling department.

Art-wise, well I’m not an animation expert, but Obsidian can get it <3 and I loved the designs for everything.

Character-wise... I’ll have to think on it more.

OK THE END I’M DONE REACTING TO STEVEN UNIVERSE. SHOW’S OVER

[littlemissnellie]

Aaaaah! Hi guys!

First of all I’ve got to apologise for the lack of Golgotha Manor posts recently, I promise they’re coming, it’s just that I’ve been a little preoccupied with putting this together…

Not too long ago I managed to hit 250 followers, which is absolutely insane, I literally cannot find the words to thank you all for following along with my mess of a blog. So I thought that I’d put a little something together for you to try to show my gratitude!

I was going to do sim requests again, like when I hit 150 followers, but tbh my sim requests are always open, I’ll make you any sim, any time, lol. So instead, I thought that I’d make some sims of my own for you to use however you please!

So yes, here are my babies! I’ll put their little intros and cc links under the cut and if you actually want to download them, they’re up on the gallery and my origin id is: cherrygorilla.

I really hope that you like them, guys! And if you actually do choose to download any of them, please keep me updated on their lives in your save, I’m too attached to my bbies and would loooooove to know what they’re up to!

Thank you again for 250! I love you guys so much, thank you for sticking by me all this time! And here’s all the info for my bbies…

Oakley Forrester

Aspiration: Freelance Botanist

Traits: Cheerful, Loves Outdoors & Insider

Oakley Forrester is a quiet, relatively shy soul with a strong passion for gardening. He’s had a green thumb practically since he came out of the womb and would always be found playing in his mum’s greenhouse amongst the tomatoes. Besides his beloved plants he doesn’t have a great deal of friends, well none that are his age anyway. He may be the youngest member of the gardening club by about forty years, but he doesn’t mind at all. The homemade jams, weekly bingo-night updates and just general company he gets whenever they see each other at the local allotment never fails to warm his heart. He just needs to find the right person to bring him out of his shell and away from his planter boxes for a little while to show him that there’s more to life that compost and cream teas…

CC: Freckles, Floppy Hat

Adele Circuit

Aspiration: Computer Whiz

Traits: Genius, Perfectionist, Squeamish

Adele Circuit is completely obsessed with all things technology. She’s always been fascinated by buttons and screens, but it wasn’t until she hit school and actually started learning about computing that her passion really took off. No one would ever be able to tell when she’s majorly geeking out over a new piece of software though with her signature, cold air that often gets her mistaken for a huge bitch. A lot of people are pretty intimidated by her, but not because of her computer-prodigy intelligence, because of her apparent constant grumpiness. Once you take the time to get to know her though, and listen to her rave about binary coding, you’ll quickly find that she’s just a big softie with a resting bitch-face. She knows the ins and outs of every computer system, but anything outside of that, like getting to know a fellow human is waaaayyy out of her comfort zone…

CC: Freckles, Lipstick, Eyeliner (03), Glasses, Choker, Nail Polish

Evie Roberts

Aspiration: Public Enemy

Traits: Clumsy, Hot-Headed, Kleptomaniac

Evie Roberts is the greatest evil mastermind to have ever lived. At least that’s what she wants you to think. In reality, she can barely run twenty feet without tripping over her own two feet. She doesn’t let her clumsiness deter her though, her fiery passion for wreaking havoc burns nonetheless. And besides, the mishaps she gets herself into, and the various injuries that they leave her with, just make her look even more menacing. And when you have a baby-face like Evie, you need all the help you can get to strike terror into your enemies’ hearts. The whole reason that Evie turned to crime is down to her face really, and her determination to shed the happy-go-lucky, pretty, girl-next-door persona that everyone seems to have pinned on her. But will her short temper, knack for stealing and desperation to be bad be enough to persuade the world that she’s not the big sweetheart they all know that she is on the inside?

CC: Leggings, Black Eye I’ve put a different one on her on the gallery, which is here, Hat, Eyeliner, Hair, Lipstick, Nail Polish, Skirt

Ryker Bass

Aspiration: Party Animal

Traits: Dance Machine, Noncommittal, Outgoing

Ryker Bass still wants to believe that he’s in high school because that’s what’s easiest for him. In high school he had friends around him at all times, he had a secure routine and he had a promise of hope for the future. Now all he really has is…himself. He may have had the time of his life in high school, but that’s because he wasted all of his time there, and now he wants nothing more than to just turn back the clock. Homework was a totally foreign concept to him, a red solo cup was extremely familiar though. In fact, one was practically glued to his hands. But all that meant was that he wound up with nothing more than some pretty good dance moves and very few qualifications. Without any guidance from school, and because his partying habit has destroyed his relationship with his success-driven parents, Ryan, who now goes by Ryker because it makes him feel cool, is left drifting from place to place, from job to job, from friend to friend, from relationship to relationship, with no idea of where his life is going. He needs a little more than a crazy hair colour and ‘bad boy’ name to help him find out who he really is though…

CC: Glasses, Freckles, Shoes, Jeans, Beard

Adagio Solo

Aspiration: Musical Genius

Traits: Music-Lover, Good, Romantic

Adagio Solo practically has melodies running through his veins, music is just a huge part of who he is. He can play the piano and guitar with a talent that just cannot be taught, he just has a magical touch when it comes to instruments, and his voice his a whole different game all together. Even when speaking his voice has a sort of musical quality that is so pleasing to the ears that the hairs on the back of your neck stand up to listen, so when he begins to sing it’s as if the notes are spinning themselves into the finest silk and wrapping around you until you feel that you’re as much a part of the song as Adagio is. When he’s not serenading his adoring fans, Adagio can usually be found rhapsodizing about love to…anyone that will listen really. Whether it’s about his latest ventures into the romantic field, or the bewilderment that the rest of the world won’t just forget about conflict and join together in love and harmony really depends on the day though. And with his endless charisma and silky-smooth voice, it seems that Adagio can charm anything that breathes. That might not always be the case though…

CC: Denim Jacket

Katie Kapital

Aspiration: City Native

Traits: Gloomy, Vegetarian, Art Lover

“Yes, that is Captial with a ‘K’. Alliteration provides a lot of hidden depth.” is something that can usually be heard tumbling from Katie’s red-painted lips, which are almost always fixed into a pained frown of despair. You see, her surname wasn’t always spelt with a ‘K’, but when she discovered her 'true calling in life’ was literature, she felt that her lifestyle should coordinate. Her ventures into the world of poetry seem to have made the biggest impact on her though, and, contrary to what her friends will tell you, it’s not because the coffee is free on slam poetry night. When she’s not depicting her first-world struggles through rhyme, she can usually be found crying over a lack of vegetarian options or just nothing at all. Will she ever be able to get her priorities in check, or will she be an emotional, hipster mess forever?

CC: Necklace, Hat (I don’t think this is the exact one, but it’s pretty much the same), Leggings, Moles, Lipstick, Cropped Jumper, Glasses, Eyeshadow, Eyeshadow (2), Hair, Earrings, Jeans, Nail Polish, Skirt

Once again, thank you sooooo much for 250 and I hope that you like my bbies! Let me know your favourite! I love you guys!

[fuckyeahevanrwood]

Our May Cover Star Evan Rachel Wood On Feminism, Westworld And Singing Happy Songs

When celebrities bring their significant others on-set, it can go one of two ways: That person can become a de facto bodyguard, creating an impenetrable wall between the “famous” and the rest of us, or, as in the case of Evan Rachel Wood, that person can put said celeb at ease, allowing us to see him or her in a way we wouldn’t otherwise.

Wood, who arrived at the Los Angeles photo studio so unobtrusively that she’d already been in hair and makeup for 10 minutes by the time we realized she was there, brought along her new fiancé (and bandmate—more on that later), Zach Villa. Neither Wood nor Villa is a loud personality, but there was one moment, somewhere around the second look of the day, when the leather-clad Villa got pretty animated. “You...whoa. Just so cool. Rad.” He’d just had a look at Wood in the photographer’s monitor, and you could see his brain making the leap from the woman he knows and sees every day to the “star” in that photograph, and it was wonderful to see that he was in awe of and excited for her.  

Of course, Wood has had many such moments in the past year or so. She’s hardly an unknown (she has been acting since she was a child and got her first Golden Globe nomination at 17 for Thirteen), and her work as an android in HBO’s Westworld as well as her new-found outspokenness around issues of sexual violence, gender fluidity and sexuality have propelled her past indie-cool status and firmly onto the A-list. All of this has also finally moved her beyond being “that girl who dated Marilyn Manson when he was 36 and she was 19.”

That doesn’t mean, however, that she spends all day dodging selfie-crazed fans of the show, which returns for a second season in 2018. “I almost never get recognized because Dolores and I look so drastically different,” says the 29-year-old with some satisfaction. And it’s true: Wrapped in a menswear-style coat, her hair short and two-toned, Wood couldn’t be further from the long-haired, Victorian-dress-wearing character she plays onscreen.

As we chat on a leather sofa while the crew clears up after the shoot, I feel like I’m finally forming an impression of Wood that’s stronger than “she changed the photographer’s electro playlist for a Bowie-heavy option from her own phone.” She wasn’t shy, exactly, throughout the day, but she wasn’t extroverted either, heading for her phone or talking quietly to Villa between takes.

And here’s the surprising thing: For someone whose public persona can sometimes read a bit “serious” (which is not a bad thing, to be clear), Wood has a lightness and a sunniness to her. It reads almost like relief, like someone taking advantage of his or her freedom and running with it. For example: Wood told me she’d been waiting for years to wear a suit to an awards show, and the time felt “right” for this year’s Golden Globes (and the SAGs just after that).

“When you’re nominated for best actress, usually every-one is like, ‘What dress is she going to wear?’ and I just kind of wanted to surprise people and completely go the other route.” For Wood, it was less an anti-dress statement than a pro-sartorial-choice move. (Also: We’re still not over that Altuzarra tux.) And as for why the timing was right....

You say you were a changed person after season one of Westworld. “Dolores’ journey was about finding her true self and facing trauma and her past. That was a catalyst in me opening up about my experiences. [Wood is a rape survivor.] Playing her got me to face a lot. Life was imitating art. By the end of that show, I did feel like I was standing on firmer ground and that I had conquered certain fears. I was owning it in a different way. I was less afraid and less ashamed.”

It sometimes feels that as a woman, especially in this political climate, you’re never going to win by playing according to any set of rules, so you may as well do your own thing. “I just felt the gloves come off and I was done. You need to be vocal and be yourself and keep fighting.”

What effect has speaking so publicly about some pretty personal stuff had on your more private relationships? “I’ve been able to talk about it in a new way—from a place of strength rather than still kind of going through it. And there are still good days and bad days. That stuff never fully goes away. Even when the response is positive, it’s still overwhelming because people start opening up to you about their experiences and that’s really heavy. But it’s kind of like how I felt when I had my son, where it was like ‘All right, now you get to take your experiences and turn them into lessons and you get to kind of be there for him instead of just wallowing in your thing.’”

Has your son’s life changed with all of this new attention? “Bless him. He’s a gypsy by proxy because his parents are. He’s only three now, but he’s starting to understand. He hears one of my songs and he knows that that’s me, and he has seen me on TV and he’s starting to put the pieces together. His parents are very different. My ex-husband [actor Jamie Bell] is lovely and very British and straightedge, and then he’s got this glam-rock weirdo for a mom.”

What do you think he thinks of it all? “He said something to me that was so profound I wanted to put it on a T-shirt. I was just poking fun at him lovingly one day and I said, ‘You’re weird,’ and he said, ‘I’m not weird. I’m playing.’ And I was like, that’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever heard. I’m not weird, I’m just playing. That’s my motto for life from now on.”

You’ve also recently relocated to Nashville. “L.A. is wonderful, and it has given me so many amazing things, but I’ve also got a lot of demons here. I was ready to break it up a little bit. I wanted to give my kid some grass to run around on. Again, he’s got two actor parents. I was like, ‘You don’t need to live in L.A. full-time. Let’s go somewhere a little “normal” for a bit.’”

You grew up in North Carolina, so obviously you have roots there, but I’m fascinated that you chose the South. If anywhere is deeply conformist, deeply traditional, it’s there. “That’s how I was raised too. But it’s not all like that. I am in a more progressive city. But there’s a part of me that also believes in going where you’re needed. And if I can be there, bringing something else to the table or engaging the conversation or speaking up when I need to speak up, then that’s also important. I don’t want to run scared. It’s definitely interesting at times, sure, but for the most part, it has been positive.”

When is it “interesting”? “There was one incident where I think somebody showed me a picture and he was comparing Hillary Clinton and Chelsea to Melania and Ivanka. He was like, ‘God, dodged a bullet, right?’ and laughing. I was like, ‘What are you talking about?’ He was like, ‘Which ones would you rather have? The hot ones or the ugly ones?’ and I was like, ‘I think I would rather be valued for what’s in my mind, especially if I were in that position, but it’s cool if what is important to you is that you want to have sex with them in your mind. That’s all on you, man, and that’s super-messed-up, but I’m just going to leave this conversation now.’ I had to walk away.”

If you could rearrange the world, start it all over, what would it look like? “Honestly, I don’t even really want to change people that much. I want to make sure everyone’s got access to affordable health care and things that help people stay alive and sane and taken care of on a base level. And then, seriously, I don’t care what you believe. Just let everyone live the way that they choose to live and let’s not try to force our ideals on everybody else.”

There’s a fatigue that comes with being combative all the time. “I also don’t want to be a hypocrite. If that’s what you believe, I so strongly disagree, but I’m not going to hate you for it. I’m not getting mad at you unless you’re harming somebody against their will or taking away rights or meddling in people’s lives.”

Do you ever feel like there are people who hate you for what you represent? “Some think that feminism is about hating men, and they hate you for that. I love men. I have a son—I actually want a world where we can all be equal and I’m not held back because of my gender. It’s not a movement against men! It sucks that the word ‘feminism’ is so tainted. Also, I’m in the LGBT community [Wood identifies as bisexual], and you’re told a lot that you’re going to hell and you’re a terrible person. People think that it’s a movement and we’re trying to destroy society. It’s intense.”

Changing gears a little…you’re in a band with your fiancé called Rebel and a Basketcase. “We’re a baby band. My first love was singing and music, and it still kind of is. I love acting, and it’s a deep, deep love. But music is like my religion. If I didn’t have music, I would die.”

And David Bowie is your high priest? “For real. I’m not a religious person, but music is so transcendent for me. It’s the closest I feel to whatever God is. That’s why it took me so long to actually do because I held it close. It’s so precious that I was like, ‘If I’m not Radiohead, I’m not doing it. If it’s not the best thing ever, I can’t.’ And I was like, ‘Stop, you love doing it, there’s a place for it and you can make positive, fun music and that’s okay.’”

The public knows a lot of intense, heavy stuff about you. But what else is there? Like, what do you read on the Internet, for instance? “I’m a psychology, self-help, spirituality geek, probably because I have had so many ups and downs in my own life. It’s something I just get super-nerdy about. I love learning about the mind and how that connects to our souls.”

What’s the coolest thing you’ve learned lately? “I was just having a conversation with somebody last night about alternate dimensions and how there’s a mirror version of you in another dimension. There are many versions of you, and there’s a theory that you can pop in and out of these dimensions. It’s so amusing. I love at least having the conversation, being a bit agnostic in that way.”

So what is the mirror version of you doing? “Who knows? This could be the mirror version of me for all I know. I could be just hopping back and forth through time. [Laughs] People reading this will think I’m crazy.”

But cool. “I think there’s heavy stuff around me because I have built a career out of heavy movies and pushing the boundaries in that way and doing things that make people go ‘Whoa, where were you when you did that scene? Do you want to talk about it?’ I guess I’m just finally in a place where I can be like, ‘Sure, what do you want to know?’ But that’s another reason the music that we make is really uplifting—because I do so much heavy stuff onscreen, if I had to also go onstage and sing about heartbreaking things and how terrible the world is, I would die.” [Laughs]

A lot of musicians say writing a happy song is way harder than writing a sad one. “It’s easier to focus on the bad stuff, you know, than to pull yourself up and sing about something nice. Our new single is called ‘Today,’ and it’s just a big battle cry about not letting the dark forces ruin your day. You make today and you make the changes, and as long as you’re here and you’re fighting, you’re going to be okay. I’m excited for people to hear that song. I think it’s a really good time for it.”