#this was background drawing practice that i worked on and off for like two months lol

[snivyartjpeg]

you tellin me a shrimp fried this rice?

anyway i think he should've used coalescence to git gud at cooking

[helpfandom]

OOO can I suggest the "If I break your legs, then you can't leave me." prompt for Irving from the hex? If you know you know ;)

>:) I had an immediate smile on my face when I saw this. You, you get my vision.

@lonleydweller

Tw: Breaking bones, Violence, heavy dependency on you - the reader, Guns, Death of side-characters, bombs.

🥀19. "If I break your legs, then you can't leave me."

°⁺⁎⋅❤︎⋅⁎⁺°⁺⁎⋅❤︎⋅⁎⁺°⁺⁎⋅❤︎⋅⁎⁺°

°⁺⁎⋅❤︎⋅⁎⁺°⁺⁎⋅❤︎⋅⁎⁺°⁺⁎⋅❤︎⋅⁎⁺°

It'd been months since your game got destroyed, leaving you without a purpose, and yet Irving had a proposition for you! Thankfully, he could use a designer to help him out, so now you didn't have to go to that weird inn or end up in the void of rejects.

So naturally, you had accepted, wanting to avoid the unfortunate fate of it. And so for a few months, around four or five, you slowly worked under Irving, trying to understand his gruff attitude and harsh nature.

I mean, sure he's insulting to a lot of people, but he's been okay when around you, he's not mean to you, if anything, he's kind to you, in his own way. I mean, he took off his glasses around you a couple weeks ago, that's progress, right?

°⁺⁎⋅❤︎⋅⁎⁺°⁺⁎⋅❤︎⋅⁎⁺°⁺⁎⋅❤︎⋅⁎⁺°

That was two months ago, god what you would give to go back to that time and tell yourself to run away when you could have. He was, hurt, corrupted somehow, he must have, because he developed feelings. And as much as you wish you could pretend that he was just an unfeeling bastard, the way he holds you, crying into your shoulder from guilt, holding onto as if you're the last thing he might be able to hold on for a long time, his whispers of "sorry. I'm so sorry." It's hard to hate him. It's hard to hate him when he makes you feel like everything depends on you.

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"I'll be going now. Don't hurt yourself." He says, like you could, and walks out the door of your his house, the one he had you design, a mockery of your work at this point to trap you in the same home you designed as a safe space before he took you into your safe space.

He closes the door, and walks away to his office, that much you can see from the partially made windows, you never did finish animating those, and now it's a waiting game again. You slowly crawl over the house again, trying to figure out what to do again. Eyes flit over to the bookcase, thankfully you put a pencil in here before you realized why he wanted you to design a home you'd be comfortable in. The books aren't readable, he didn't program that in, but if you glitch it, you could open it to a blank page to write in.

It's been a boring few hours, there's only so many times you can try glitching the book into reality to draw one before frustration takes over. Throwing it down onto the ground in anger, it almost perfectly syncs up with the sound of alarms rising in the background, only now hearing due to being blinded by anger.

Now's the chance, the alarms on the door won't sound off as loud due to the other alarms, run. Taking the opportunity, you run and open the door, slamming it into the wall from how rushed you are. Running to the other side, the opposite of where Irving works, the assumption was right, the sirens on the door means nothing to the sirens in the facility, this might be the chance.

The chance to escape. Run.

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"MIR DAMN IT!" He yells, practically screaming. "They tricked the player into this?" He slams his fist on the desk, knocking over a mug filled with sunglasses. He looks over at the chipped thing and sighs. You gave it to him, before he became this mess. He looks back at the screen. "What am I supposed to do?" He frowns, and looks back at the screen. "What do they see? What does the player see?" They obviously see something, because if they saw what they were really doing, they would stop.

He starts typing on the computer. It must be Lazarus that the player controls, he was the only one from Vicious Galaxy that was a different protagonist. He finds the level they're on and smiles. He could fix this in time. He has to fix this. For you.

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Even though everything hurts from being cramped up in the house with nowhere to go, no way to stretch, you keep moving, you have to. Breathing heavy, you slow down and lean on the wall. You got a few floors down from the house and that should've put enough space between you and Irving.

Groondas litter the floor, blood seeping out from gunshots on their carcasses. What's going on? What happened? Why are people killing the Groondas? Just keep moving. Escaping his suffocating grip is more important than finding out why the sirens are going off.

You keep moving, walking now to try and ease a bit of the pain flowing from your muscles and skip past the elevator, there's an exit on this floor that can take you lower if you remember correctly.

BOOM!

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Irving looks around for just a moment when a bomb goes off, before the realization that Lazarus and Jeremiah are gone, the floors broken up into pieces and ceilings cracking under pressure. Shit. How is he supposed to deal with all of this mess?

Wait...

Are you okay? You're on a higher floor, the bomb could've cracked the house and hurt you.

He starts walking, beginning to run with a purpose.

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You tripped, how stupid that one of the few floors who didn't get too much damage made you trip and break your ankle? What kind of cosmic event timing is it that right as you get close to the exit that could help save you, you fail to walk now?

Gritting your teeth and riding adrenaline to go past the pain, you're so close to the exit now. Your hand is on the handle and it swings open to reveal...

Stairs.

The company did change the floor plan after all. A longing sigh comes from you and you start walking down, using the railing to avoid putting pressure on that foot.

One of the doors swings open on a different floor and frantic footsteps start running up the stairs. A flash of blue from an upper floor tells you all you need to know that it's Irving.

"No. No no no no. They have to be okay. They have to be." It slowly dissipates as he goes upward, the opposite direction of you. Thank Mir.

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Door swung right open against the wall, a book on the floor and the alarms going off.

No. No no no . no no no no no no no you can't be gone, you must have been taken, he treated you kindly, there's no way you would have escaped, you need him like he needs you.

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Running down the stairs, pain be damned, it's the final floor that isn't decimated. There's a window that leads to Secrets of Legendaria mockup, if you make it there then you can make it down to where a lower floor is for re-creation and make it out of the headquarters.

Frantic running and then tackled down before you make it to the window. "NO!" You cry out, and arms wrap around you. "Oh thank Mir you're okay, did Lazarus hurt you? Did Jeremiah?" He growls from the back of his throat. "Oh I'll do much worse then Vicious Galaxy this time. It will be much worse."

He stands up, still hugging you with a firm grip and looks you up and down as best as he can, noting your foot. "Oh no, no. They did hurt you." His grip gets noticeably tighter on your arms without him thinking and he breaks his grip when he realizes he's hurting you. "I'm sorry, I just..." He shakes his head and picks you up by the shoulders, gently placing you down and wrapping your arm around his shoulders. "C'mon. I need to fix this and you need to be safe."

You chew on your lip for just a moment, but the window is so close, so tantalizingly close. This is the chance. You shake your head. "No. I want out." You shove him, not very well but it's enough of a surprise to him that he genuinely stops for enough of a moment to for you to run before he snaps from his daze and yanks you back, nails digging into your skin.

"What? No. No! I need you, and you need me." He shakes his head, his glasses are slightly broken and it allows for just a mere glimpse into his eyes, deranged and red, pupils wide.

"No!" He shakes his head and pushes down onto the ground. "No." Something snaps in him, and he gets a smile on his face, already eerie enough to see a smile break upon his face, but the mere fact that he's not crying out in anger anymore is enough to send shivers down your spine. "If I break your legs, then you can't leave me."

He pushes you down further, strength so apparent by the fact that not even your meek struggles even break his focus. His hand grips your kneecap and he fucking snaps it.

A gurgle erupts in your throat, bile rising and threatening to spill from your lips as the mere sound of it cracking and then breaking, bone sticking out of your skin.

You scream and he shushes you with his other hand, moving his next focus to your other leg. It's a blessing that you black out from pain before you can feel the other leg snap.

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The next time you come to, you're laying down in a bed, him sitting next to you. "I'm so sorry." He mutters to himself, head in his hands. "I shouldn't have. I need you. I'm so sorry." You grip the sheets in anger and he notes the movement. "Oh thank Mir, I thought you would never wake up." You glare at him and look down at your legs, mangled and twisted and where they are most certainly not supposed to be.

He follows your eyes and refuses to look at your legs. "I'm sorry, but you just haven't realized how much I need you, and how much you need me."

[redwhiteandroyalr]

Want You a Latte

Want You a Latte by hufflebibin_rwrb T | 1.2k No Warnings Apply | Coffee Shop AU | Crack | Barista Henry

Henry has been practicing his latte art hearts for two weeks. He thinks they’re coming along pretty well.

“Listen, I would absolutely love to participate in whatever barista mating ritual this is because you are like distractingly hot and I didn’t want to say anything while you were working because that’s not cool, but please, you’ve got to stop putting dicks on my lattes.”

Ok, maybe not.

—

Or, Henry accidentally seduces Alex through phallic latte art.

(excerpt and full cover under the cut!)

Henry is decent at a great many things. He doesn’t think it’s being prideful to say so, just a fact. He’s got a lot of passable skills, several of them quite good, even. 

Latte art is not one of them. 

He’s been working at Z & S Café for eight months now and it took until three weeks ago for his flat whites to consistently come out with perfect circles on top. Hearts have been his new project for the past two weeks. They still come out at least a little wonky every time, but they’re miles better than they were when he started. Those — well, the less said about those the better. 

A sharp burst of laughter and the scrape of a chair being pushed roughly off the carpet and onto the tile shakes Henry from his distracted thoughts. He really needs to get more sleep. Sure, it’s midterms, but that doesn’t mean he should settle for an hour or two a night. At least four hours tonight , he pleads to the universe. Then he realizes who has walked up to the counter and knows the universe is spiting him. You could’ve just said no, he thinks. 

“Listen, I would absolutely love to participate in whatever barista mating ritual this is because you are like distractingly hot and I didn’t want to say anything while you were working because that’s not cool, but please, you’ve got to stop putting dicks on my lattes.”

[image description: a fic cover. The background is a coffee stained piece of paper. The top reads “Want You a Latte.” The middle features a drawing of a latte with heart latte art. The bottom reads “hufflebibin”. End image description]

[mixnmatch4dead]

Hellooo 🥺 politely asking for a Coach and Bill mashup

It’s been 6 months exactly since my last upload, sorry for the wait! I admit there was a bit of a reason for the delay on this one… I actually didn’t advertise mash-ups.

Swaps are when one character takes on the character role of another, while mash-ups are the two characters as one person. I wasn’t sure if i should draw Bill as Coach or Coach as Bill, and I didn’t want to disappoint. I do have experience in making mashups/fusions, though, so I figured I might as well give what you asked for, since I thought it would be cool even if it was a misunderstanding… and since I made you wait for so long….. I mashed the whole casts of l4d1&2 into… i guess left 4 dead one-and-a-half?

Say Hi to the Left 4 Dead Mash-Ups Line-up! (Ordered by height, tallest to shortest)

Since this asker also pointed out that they were interested in mashing their personalities specifically in the past, I’ll also go into detail on how I picture them acting ^^ I also did doodles anytime i got tired or stuck with the mash-ups, you can also find them under the cut <3

Coach+William Overbeck (Mashup name… Vet?) -

Perspective : This vet is very kind-spirited but very protective of the trio he finds himself working with. He wants to see all of them make it to the other side, and if that means risking his own life, he’s ready to put it on the line. He expresses this by frequently checking on the health and well-being of the others, commanding them around in dire situations, putting his body between his pinned teammates and the infected if he has to, and teaching them survival skills that help outside of combat, in case they wind up without him.

Granddad Friend? : Since the second-oldest person on the team is deceptively irresponsible, he’s completely taking the slack of the caretaker role for the whole dang team. He is willing to be mean and go above the others if he thinks they’re being irresponsible with their own lives. Like Bill, he is fully willing to leave people behind so long as the three are safe, and also like Bill he WILL minimize your injuries a little if it means you keep moving forward. (“If you’re not bleeding out, you’re not allowed to cry” moments)

Humor : Like Coach, he’s got good humor when the situation calls for it… as soon as things get serious, though, he drops the jokes and smiles entirely. He’ll make jokes about his favorite foods and whatever silly situation deserves a little chuckle, so long as everyone is alive and well for it. Sure, comedy heals all wounds, but sometimes you need to focus and get out of the situation before you can try to fix things. He has a BIG laugh and is very receptive when the others joke with each other.

Religion : A practicing Christian like Coach, he will sometimes mention it when he feels the situation calls for it (including chastising people for cursing despite swearing ALL the time. Bill says Bitch a lot, but Coach says Shit more than anyone else in the game!)— I could see him doing other things like the ‘valley of the shadow of death’ prayer from the Swamp Campaign.

School Colors? : Admittedly inaccurate, there’s not a single school in Georgia with a green and purple color scheme. In my defense, Coach’s school is three hours away from Savannah and he keeps saying he “lives around here” in the beginning first campaign, so...

Medical History : With Bill and Coach’s combined histories and backgrounds, they’re in a bit of a worse condition than either were originally. Bill, with his injury in the war and age, combined with Coach’s knee injury that was bad enough to knock him out of sports… It’s never specified which knees either injured, but I actually considered cutting one off entirely in case they hurt the same one. This is all without mentioning Bill’s canon PTSD, which carried over since this is a combination of both characters. He uses a variety of things to improve his mobility and comfort, sometimes even using a wheelchair when they’re available and someone else on the team is willing to carry it when the landscape becomes inaccessible.

Smoking : An addiction he took steps to successfully break a long, long time ago to be a good example to the students he taught. He only started again when he realized… this really was the end of the world has he knew it. It helps with the pain in his joints, too. He still refuses giving any to the other three.

Nick+Francis (Mashup name probably Frick) -

Perspective : A gambler and a biker with a bit of a history of getting into scrapes and other dangerous situations, he has learned absolutely no lessons except when to start running away. In past experiences, he found he was better off working on his own, and brushed off positive experiences with teams as ‘only a matter of time’ or exceptions. He usually just looks out for himself, but he’s realizing that this situation genuinely requires cooperation… and that he likes knowing that the others are there for him.

Infected! : While we know all of the protagonists are carriers, we don’t actually know if all of them have caught the green flu before they all meet! However, since Francis and Nick are suggested to have a very similar intro to the apocalypse, it’s very VERY likely that Mr. Frick here is the first of the group to actually carry the disease, and that he catches it before the infection becomes a local problem.

Irresponsible : He will immediately use something on a whim if he’s trusted with anything. This includes eating any snacks in his bag, drinking all the water in a bottle meant for the group, and taking pills on an instinct the first moment something bothers him. Is it selfishness? Not really, he just doesn’t think when he thinks he’s been provided a quick fix.

Graying : He is actively graying and it would be visible if he didn’t dye it… though he kind of got the wrong color. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

Picking Favorites? : He has a favorite teammate, and he only pretends he doesn’t because it means he likes them in general. His favorite is Rochelle&Louis by a long shot, mostly because they’re the most fun to talk to and seem to be on the same wavelength as him. But in like… a way that balances him out. It confuses him.

Rochelle+Louis (Mashup name likely Louchelle bc i like it) -

Perspective : To this mash-up, there is always a silver lining, even if you have to force it into existence. The power of positive thinking can go a long way, and they’ll be the first to remind the team pessimists that though this is the end of the world it isn’t the end. And then they get roasted for saying that, and have to verbally fight for their life.

Sarcasm and Banter : They will meet every roast with an equal or slightly greater burn. Bickering with Nick+Francis usually ends with a verbal murder on one of their sides, and they’re kind of lucky both of them are so quick to laugh it off.

Need for Normality : Out of all of the mash-ups, they’re the most insistent that they continue following the pre-apocalypse rules as well. That does not mean they’re always considering it, like they’ll trespass like crazy and take when they need it, but they don’t like it when their teammates steal from homes or small businesses. It kind of hurts to imagine the family that they’re taking from, even if they’re likely all dead.

Theater Kid : They can PROJECT like nobody’s business! They’re so good at making sure their voice carries, it’s kind of hard to stop! Which is bad when there’s a witch in the area, but boy can they verbalize when they have a problem of some kind. Also, from a history of being the one to manage things on a stage, they’re incredibly good at rephrasing Bill’s directions when he’s a bit more vague.

Anxiety : Quick to startle, easy to concern, and overall the most generally confused by the more hectic natures of the other three. They don’t understand why the others are so ready to just drop everything and make the worst choice just for the hell of it, but it is NOT helping their fears.

Ellis+Zoey (Mashup name either Elley or Zellis) -

Perspective : A college student considering dropping out and relieved that now they don’t have to think about it anymore! They’re happiest when they’re not thinking about anything— especially not have screwed over the world’s gotten. Any reminder of how they don’t know the situation their closest friends are in (and likely saw their family die) will close them off from the group, making them snippy and reserved until the others can get the humor back into them. It’s not intentional, it’s depression and fear for the future. They’re always ready to call the Francis&Nick mash-up for his bullshit.

Apocalypse Prep : What Zoey and Ellis have in common is that they had very similar reactions to learning about the Green Flu— that being shutting off the world and preparing the only way they knew how. While Zoey consumed a bunch of zombie movies in a depressed fugue state until her parents died when the infection became public, Ellis tricked-up a truck and used it to ram into zombies until one almost killed him, and their mash-up was probably doing both.

Short but Mighty! : Smallest of the team but can absolutely hold just about every other team member over their head. They’d absolutely love to show off how many gasoline canisters they can carry at one time, then trip and spill everything everywhere. Probably said they could beat a charger at an arm wrestling contest once.

Keith Stories : Expanded to include other friends and family members, this mash-up keeps Keith and will talk about him and others all the time.

Team Child : Are they 21? Yes, but do they act like it? Not really. It’s easier to see them as a teenager than a student with a full-time job, especially since they never act like it. Their open gullibility does not help.

I’d add more notes, but I’ve been doing this for awhile and I still have finals due. As I mentioned before, I’ve done mash-ups in the past and I had a LOT of fun doing them again, so if there are any other mash-ups you’d be interested in, I’d love to hear it! (Difference between mash-ups and swaps: you can mash more than two people at once…) I still have finals the day this is going to be posted, but that also means I have break for the next three weeks!

Doodles I mentioned before below!

[tiktokitssinoclock]

Weight- Marc Spector

... ʰᵉʸ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ.

No I'm not dead, and no I really wasn't that busy until the semester started up. I fell off the writing wagon a few months ago and still kind of feel that way. Just recently I've been working on some stuff again so I hope I'll get back into the flow of things soon, but I don't want to risk burn out. I won't be posting as often as I used to, but I'll still post sporadically here and there. Hopefully that changes as inspiration comes back to me! :)

SFW// Minors and ageless blogs, DNI // You will be blocked

Summary:

You have a really important day tomorrow, but can't get to sleep for the life of you. Fortunately, Marc has the perfect suggestion.

Word Count:

1.5K

Warnings/Triggers:

None

One of the things you loved about the boys' place was the sounds of the traffic around the building. The soft 'whoosh' of cars as they passed by, the muted squeaks of tires cruising along on wet pavement when it rained, the surprisingly welcome harmony of whiny breaks and car horns when a light turned red. Steven had his complaints about it, and while you could sympathize with him, you yourself never truly minded. It worked almost like a noise machine in the flat, the London hubbub providing a constant hum in the background.

Tonight, however, as you found yourself laying quite awake, you were starting to better understand what he meant. Every time you closed your eyes, trying in vain to get some sleep, the smallest noises from the street were trying their damnedest to get you to open them again.

The hardly audible road rage between two people might as well have been an argument just outside in the hallway. The chirp of a parked car getting locked seemed to echo throughout the room. Hell, even the slamming of a car door was almost enough to make your ears pop.

You let out a quiet sigh as you continued to catch bits and pieces of the ongoing squabble, pinching your eyes shut before opening them once more in defeat. Of all the nights for the sounds of distant traffic to fail you...

Sweat was beading on your brow but you opted to ignore it, the usually inviting cotton sheets feeling much too warm. You tossed over onto your side, your nails digging into the pillow in your grasp as you tried to focus on the sound of Marc's slow, even breaths.

There wasn't much else to distract your gaze from straying, which wasn't helping, either. Like a moth to a flame, you find yourself stealing glances at the laptop perched on Steven's crammed desk. Again and again, however, you forced yourself to stare at the wall beside you. You were playing a game of cat and mouse, it felt like, and the universe was doing everything in its power to work against you.

Your usual white noise was practically blaring. You'd long since kicked the sheets off your body, the material bunched awkwardly at your feet. The sliver of moonlight peeking through the blinds glinted off the laptop's reflective case, only drawing your attention towards it even more.

You found yourself staring at it again before you could help yourself, eyes squinting in annoyance as you chewed the inside of your cheek.

A few more minutes wouldn't hurt.

As you slowly began to sit up, knuckling the sleep out of your eyes, your mind was already racing with things to do.

I haven't got the numbers from quarter two completely memorized yet, and it wouldn't look good if I have to keep referencing that slide during the meeting. And honestly, I don't know what I was thinking adding all those slide transitions. I'll have to edit them out. Maybe I'll pack a quick lunch for myself, too, that way I can just eat at my desk instead of having to pop over to the cafeteria. Yeah, that'll give me more time to finalize everything.

Your legs swung over the side of the bed as you lazily rolled your shoulders, a few satisfying 'pop's greeting you.

I could probably iron out my outfit, as well. I'll never hear the end of it from Jen if there's a wrinkle in my top when I'm presenting. God forbid clothing does what clothes are known to do-

Before you had the opportunity to stand up, however, you felt the weight of the mattress suddenly shift. A pair of arms wrapped around your waist, lips warm with sleep meeting the back of your neck.

"Where're you going?" Marc mumbled against your skin, his voice sleep logged.

You refrained from leaning back into his touch, fingers lightly circling around Marc's wrists.

"Bathroom," you offered, shooting him a reassuring smile over your shoulder.

When he was barely awake, Marc seemed much... softer than usual. His hair was lightly tussled, bits and piecing sticking out in various directions. The usual bags under his eyes didn't seem so pronounced, the gleam in his gaze ever present. You could stare at him for hours, it felt like. The only things tarnishing the view, however, were how his eyebrows began pulling together and the way his lips were pressed in a thin line. Despite just waking up, he was onto what you were up to in an instance.

"I'll only be up a few minutes."

"No you won't."

You could only look at him for a moment before finally speaking again.

"Don't be silly," you said, gently pulling yourself out of his grasp.

"Honestly Marc, I'll be back. You need the sleep and- hey!"

Marc ignored your protests, pulling you in until your back was pressed against his chest and he could lazily throw his leg over both of yours. His cheek pressed itself against the back of your shoulder, each of his soft exhales fanning across your neck. You ignored the goosebumps his breath left in its wake, the frown on your face deepening.

"Marc."

"Hmm?"

"Please let me go."

"So you can agonize over your keyboard until the sun comes up? Why would I do that?"

"Because I'm stressing out- and rightfully so. There are so many ways I could be productive right now and instead I'm just... I'm laying here."

You sucked in a deep breath.

"I'm not getting to sleep at this rate. I might as well make something of my time."

"That's a horrible idea," Marc replied bluntly, his voice still tired.

"How so?"

"Because-"

Marc interrupted himself with a groan as he gave a stretch, nonchalantly readjusting his position.

"You're gonna tell yourself 'Oh, I'll just review this and I'll be done', right? Then that'll turn into 'I'll rearrange some things real quick' or 'I should make a better version of this table' or whatever else you think up."

You couldn't see his face, but you could practically feel one of his eyebrows arch.

"Am I wrong?"

Too stubborn to confirm or deny his train of thought, even though he was very much correct, you only locked your jaw and sat in continued silence. This hardly phased Marc, however, so he continued.

"You'll just keep changing and adding, changing and adding, until you've got an entirely new presentation you're unfamiliar with. Then by the time you have to present it, you'll get overwhelmed and trip up because its nothing like what you practiced with. You'll be tired, too, which doesn't help. That's what happened last time, from my understanding."

You leaned further into Marc's chest, appreciating the feel of his skin against your own, and let out a heavy sigh.

"Things have to go perfectly to make up for that. I want to prove to them that I can do better."

Another kiss pressed itself against your skin.

"And you will, if you get some rest."

"I... I just can't. I'm all wired up right now and I don't know if I'll be able to get any sleep."

Marc was silent for a beat, only giving you a low 'hmm' in response. Several minutes had passed and you almost thought he had drifted off before he was speaking again.

"What if I laid on you?"

You rolled your eyes with a scoff, earning a chuckle from the man.

"No, not like that. What if I literally laid on you?"

You frowned, turning in your boyfriend's grasp to better face him. his tired eyes and a small smile greeted you.

"I don't see how that would help."

"It would be kind of like using my body as a weighted blanket. I think you mentioned having one in your apartment, right?"

You considered it for a moment, silently appreciating the way his thumb drew small circles on your hip. It was true- you did have a weighted blanket you often made use of back in your flat. And you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn't regret bringing it with you...

"You can say no if you want. It's just a suggestion."

"I know."

You toyed with your bottom lip, pondering the idea. What did you have to loose in trying?

"Let's give it a go, then."

"Fine by me."

Marc briefly released his hold on you only so he could roll himself on top of you, resting his head in the crook of your neck before he let his arms lazily circle you once again. You hummed contently at the shift in pressure Marc's weight provided, an instantaneous calm buzzing through your limbs. After several quiet moments of laying together like that, both your rapid heartbeat and breathing finally slowing, he groggily spoke.

"Better?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Good."

Just a few minutes later and the two of you had peacefully drifted off, the noise from the busy streets below falling on blissfully deaf ears.

[ruth-writes]

ruthswip Chapter 1

Chapter 1 of a rewrite of something I've been working on for a long time.

Content warnings: physical abuse (explicit scenes), homophobia

Jamie's POV

One-hundred and fifty-five days. That meant five months and two days. It had been almost half a year.

Half a year, which meant we were getting close to our first performance. Not that we were in any way ready. Lisa was supposed to be doing a step in front of me so we’d form a line facing the audience, but she kept stepping on my foot and tripping instead. If I had to hear the same few notes of This is Me one more time until she finally got it, I was rip my ears off.

Ms. Page looked as frustrated as I felt, but she knew how to handle it. She was exactly the kind of person who should be a teacher, never losing her patience or yelling at us. I wondered how she’d managed not to turn bitter like every other adult I knew. I considered asking her for tips, but it was probably too late for me anyway.

Lisa stepped on my little toe this time, the heel of her boot making me wince. ���Sorry,” she apologized, as if that would make the throbbing pain magically disappear.

            I glanced at Holden, who was watching us from the front of the room. He should be practicing his solo, but there wasn’t much of a point when the backup dancers couldn’t even get far enough for his cue. At least it meant we could make faces at each other, like the one I gave him now. He answered with a small grin, making my insides squirm. Even more when people looked over their shoulders to follow his gaze. I quickly fixed my gaze back on the gym floor, blending into the background as best as I could.

            Ms. Page finally gave up on nobody tripping and told us to just try and get through the whole dance. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be, even though my feet were feeling very bruised by the end of it. I’d managed to do some improv to avoid the worst of the tripping, which Ms. Page praised me for while simultaneously scolding everyone else to practice more at home. Everyone grumbled their acknowledgement, and we were finally allowed to leave.

            Outside, Michael asked, “Who wants to go to Taco Bell?” Michael was a senior, and he had a car.

            A few people agreed, but Michael specifically looked in our direction. “Holden?”

            Holden looked at me, even though I wasn’t the one being asked. “I think I’m just gonna go home,” I told him.

            Holden turned to Michael. “Yeah, me too. I still have a lot of homework to do.”

            Micheal rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on. You used to hang out all the time.” Everyone knew what Michael wasn’t saying out loud. If there was any doubt, the glare he was giving me cemented it. Holden used to hang out last year, before he met me.

            Holden noticed it, too, his usual carefree smile turning into a slight frown. “Well, things change, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned on his heel and stalked toward the bus, me hurrying to catch up with him.

            I hesitated when he threw himself on the seat at the very back, still glaring. “Are you mad at me?” I came out sounding a lot more like whine than I’d intended.

            His expression immediately softened as he hurried to make room for me on the bench. “No, of course not!” When I sat down, he pressed a kiss to my temple and added, “I could never be mad at you.”

            I relaxed into his arms.

-

            If I was any good at drawing, I’d be able to draw Holden’s room purely from memory by now. I’d rarely spent a single day anywhere else for the past five months, and most of my time was spent staring at the walls while he worked on his homework. I’d given up trying with mine a while ago. I knew there was no point, especially in the afternoon once my Adderall had worn off.

            Holden’s room was how I always imagined mine would be if I could decorate it the way I wanted to. There were two framed posters on the biggest wall, plants on the windowsill that he somehow managed to keep alive, and pieces of furniture he’d been allowed to pick out himself. Best of all was the wall of pictures over his desk. The pictures ranged from him as a baby ‘til now. Some were with friends, some with his family and some with me, and everyone was smiling in each one. I knew that even if I tried to create a wall like that, there wouldn’t be enough people who to cover it with.

            That was fine, though. I could entertain myself, like I did now by opening The Battle of the Labyrinth again. I was rereading the entire series while I waited for The House of Hades to come out, even though I knew it all by heart. If I had to recite that instead of state capitals in school, I’d have A’s all around. When I was little, I used to think my ADHD was proof I was a demigod. I kept waiting for the day I’d be whisked to Camp Half-Blood and meet my real family. Of course, I’d have found a way to convince Chiron to let Alex come, too. Even in my wildest fantasies, I’d never considered leaving him for a second.

            I jumped slightly when Holden sat down next to me suddenly, holding his laptop. He grimaced. “Oh God, sorry.”

            “It’s fine,” I assured him. “Are you done?”

            He nodded and we cuddled up next to each other, my head resting on his shoulder. Holden tried opening Netflix, but announced after a few moments, “The Wifi’s not working. One of us has to go and reset the router.”

            We looked at each other, having a tiny battle of who could do the best puppy-dog gaze.

            “I don’t want to get up,” he complained.

            “Well, neither do I,” I countered.

            “I reset it yesterday!” he protested.

            “Did you? I don’t remember.”

            “I’m pretty sure I did.”

            “I’m pretty sure you didn’t.”

            He shut his laptop. “I guess we’re not watching anything then.”

            That was a move I hadn’t been expecting. “Are you serious?” I pouted.

            “Hey, if it’s that important to you, you can go,” he pointed out.

            I thought about it. “Yeah, no.”

            He laughed, leaning in close. “I know something we can do that we don’t have to leave the bed for.”

            I smirked. “Yeah?”

            We started off slow, kissing each other gently, but then letting things get more heated. He hummed when I kissed down his neck. I loved giving him hickeys. I wished he could give them to me too, but they’d be much too visible. I smiled into my kissed when he slowly started inching his hand up my shirt, but then frowned when he paused. I stopped to see what he was looking at.

            “This one’s knew,” he commented, gently touching the fresh bruise on my chest.

            I winced and he immediately withdrew his hand. “Sorry,” he apologized.

            “It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt that much, I barely even noticed it,” I lied.

            Alex would have known I was lying in a heartbeat, but Holden didn’t know me as well and looked slightly relieved. “Well, that’s good.” He pulled my shirt down again, covering the bruise. “What happened?”

            “Nothing, really,” I explained. “He was just awake longer than usual and ran into me when I was coming home.”

            I could tell Holden really didn’t like that answer. “Jamie, I think we should tell someone.”

            I rolled my eyes. We’d had this conversation before, and he knew my answer hadn’t changed. “No.”

            “Just one adult, Jamie,” he pleaded. “It can be anyone. If I told my parents, they’d know what to do.”

            I struggled to keep my voice level as I bluntly stated, “They won’t because there’s nothing anyone can do.”

            Holden just didn’t get it. “They could call the police,” he argued stubbornly.

            I wondered what it was like living with such wholehearted trust in the system. It must be nice. “If we call the police, he’ll put on a nice smile for them an beat me half to death when they’re gone.” I knew I was right, because that was exactly how it had happened when my second-grade teacher called them. Afterwards, the hospital had sent me right back home to him.

            A tear rolled down Holden’s cheek and he gave a sniffle, which pissed me off. He wasn’t the one who was in danger here. But he didn’t stop crying, and I guessed I felt a little bad, so I let him cry into my shirt. He was just worried and didn’t know any better. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to scare you,” I soothed him as I stroked his hair.

            He sniffed. “I’m scared somethings gonna happen to you.”

            “Well yeah, so am I,” I said a bit too bitterly, and immediately regretted it. But Holden never got mad at me, so he just hugged me even more tightly.

            “Jamie! Holden! Dinner’s ready!” We heard his dad call from downstairs. They’d started simply assuming that I was eating with them a while back.

            We went to wash our hands, spending an extra minute to wash away any evidence of Holden’s tears.

            “Will you boys set the table?” Matt asked us once we arrived downstairs. He was carrying a large steaming pot, so I carefully maneuvered around him to get to the silverware.

            We were having spaghetti. The homemade tomato sauce was a lot better than the cheap store-bought one Alex used to heat up in the microwave. I was pretty sure the strange chucks I was picking at were actual tomatoes. I tentatively poked a small one with my fork and forced myself to swallow it. I’d always hated eating in front of other people, especially when it wasn’t one of my safe foods. Having to pretend I wasn’t literally choking most things down was exhausting.

            “So, how was everyone’s day?” Anna asked like she did every day. I’d only been dealing with it for five months, I couldn’t understand how Holden had managed it his entire life.

            “It was fine, I guess,” Holden mumbled, trying to get out of the question as always. I’d come to realize it was their ritual, because Anna always managed to get all the details out of him in the end. There wasn’t a single aspect of his life Holden was allowed to keep private.

            “You guess?” Anna pried.

            Holden busied himself trying to roll the spaghetti onto his fork. He gave up on the polite way after a few tries and started rolling the fork in the air, which was pretty cute to watch.

            “Holden, don’t play with your food,” Anna said gently but firmly.

            He pouted. “I’m eating it!”

            Whenever he talked back to his parents, I prepared myself for someone to start screaming before I remembered that wasn’t gonna happen here. Instead, Matt made Holden watch while he showed him the correct way to roll spaghetti. “Jamie’s doing it,” he pointed out. “Maybe you should watch him.”

            I hated it when they did that. Pitted us against each other. Couldn’t he have just shown it to him and left it at that? Now, I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, and it was making my skin crawl.

            Thankfully, Anna remembered that it was still supposed to be Holden’s turn in the spotlight. “How’s your solo coming along?”

            Holden nodded with his mouth stuffed full of spaghetti, which Anna patiently waited for him to swallow. “We were mostly practicing the beginning of the routine today,” he finally explained.

            Anna frowned. “Still? Your performance is next week.”

            Holden snorted. “Yeah, and it’s gonna be a… bad show.” I knew he’d narrowly stopped himself from saying shitshow.

            Anna didn’t mention his hiccup. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that.”

            She spent the next few minutes prying about how Ms. Page was handling it, how the moral was among the dancers (what did that even mean?) and figuring out exactly what Holden had ‘learned’ in school today. It was exhausting to watch, but I desperately wished it would go on forever, because once she was satisfied with him, she fixed her gaze on me.

“What about you, Jamie? What did you learn today?”

            This was always the most uncomfortable part, because Anna definitely thought I was being rude when I didn’t answer, but I truly didn’t have a single idea what my teachers had droned on about on any given day. I could barely remember my classes. After what felt like an eternity, Anna gave up on the subject, but she wasn’t completely done with me.

“How are your parents? Are they still working hard?” Anna thought the reason my parents were so nonexistent was because they were workaholics. She’d kind of come up with it on her own, and I’d never corrected her.

“Um, yeah,” I replied, picking at my food. Everyone else had already served themselves seconds, but my plate was still half full.

Anna and Matt shared a look that I didn’t understand, then Matt cleared his throat. “We were thinking of maybe inviting them over to dinner some time. You know, since you’re here so often, and we’ve never met them. They might want to know who their son is spending all of his time with.” He gave a light chuckle at the end.

Red alert. Red alert. Red alert, my brain blared. Had Matt’s gaze always been so piercing? Why was my fork suddenly so heavy? It slipped out of my hand and landed on the plate with a lout clatter, making everyone at the table jump. “Sorry!” I exclaimed, quickly picking it up again.

“It’s alright,” Matt said, even though he looked slightly frazzled. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so he looked to his wife for help.

She seemed as lost as him, but she didn’t let it stop her from trying something. “Jamie, honey, is everything… alright?”

My heart was pounding so intensely I could feel it in my fingertips. I set my fork down so I didn’t make the same mistake again and put on my best mask. “Yeah! Sorry, I was thinking of something else. I’ll ask my parents, but I honestly don’t think they’ll be free anytime soon. You've seen how much they work.”

My sudden change in attitude didn’t seem to convince Matt and Anna. I cursed myself for getting too comfortable and letting my mask slip.

“Okay, you do that,” Anna said. “But if you need anything, you can tell us, okay?”

No matter how annoying Anna was, my heart warmed at her genuineness. I almost felt guilty lying to her. Almost. It was a necessary means. I flashed her a brilliant smile. “Thanks, but really, everything’s fine.”

She gave me an uncertain smile back, then transferred the spotlight to Matt. He excelled in it, telling her every conversation he’d had that day almost word for word. Afterwards, he hung onto every sentence as she did the same for him.

Matt always drove me home after dinner. Usually he put on his favorite radio station that only played The Beatles, but today it was silent. Maybe he wanted to give me the room to tell him something. I liked Matt a lot more than I liked Anna. He never forced things out of you, so when we talked, it was always about things we both genuinely wanted to say. I imagined what would happen if I told him about my bruises. He’d freak out, but still manage to keep his cool. He’d wait for me to finish talking and then figure out what to do. He’d only want to call the cops, though, no matter what I said. So I kept my mouth shut.

We said our goodbyes, and I watched him drive off before walking home from the house I always told him was mine. It was only a block away from my actual front door. Taking off, my shoes, I unlocked the front door as slowly as I could before tiptoeing through and closing it a millimeter a second. Then came the stairs, which I inched along, making sure to avoid the creaky ones. If that even mattered with how loudly I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. After maybe ten minutes, I reached the top, where Alex’s bedroom door was waiting open for me. It was right next to mine, which had remained firmly shut since he’d left. I pulled myself under the covers that had stopped smelling like him a long time ago and fell into an uneasy sleep.

-

The next week went by in a blur. Ms. Page made us put in insane hours of extra practice, even managing to pull us out of class, and by the end of it we were actually kind of okay. Lisa wasn’t even stepping on me anymore, and Ms. Page seemed to be finding the joy in her job again.

Then it was an hour before the show, all the parents were trickling into the auditorium, and things were absolutely chaotic backstage. People were running around looking for their missing props, then crashing into others who were pacing out of nervousness. I found a quiet corner and watched. We were all in basic black outfits except for Holden, who had a white skintight shirt. It made him look pretty hot as he frantically tried to help Ms. Page keep everything in order. I saw him scan the room until his eyes fell on me. He tilted his head, silently asking if I was okay. I gave him a thumbs up, and he immediately went back to yelling orders.

Once we were under the blinding lights of the stage, adrenaline took over. I loved these moments, when I didn’t have to think and my body just did. It gave me a few precious moments of peace that were over way too soon, especially considering all the hours of sweat and tears we’d put into the routine. It was humbling realizing that we’d needed half a year to get a few minutes of simple steps right so that our parents could politely clap and forget about it the next day. The adrenaline was already mostly gone by the time Anna and Matt greeted us after the show.

“You did so well!” Anna squealed. “I’m so proud of you both.”

Matt agreed with her, and I let them hug me after they’d nearly suffocated Holden. At first it was awkward, but then I realized I didn’t want to let go. I might have been imagining it, but Matt did seem to let me hold onto him a little longer than normal before they both started fawning over Holden’s solo. I happily joined in, seeing as he had been incredible. He was all smiles, eating the attention up like the shining star he was. And he was my shining star.

I didn’t know what came over me. Maybe it was seeing him so happy, maybe Matt’s hug had given me a false sense of security. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and planted a kiss on his cheek.

After that, everything seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. Holden blushed slightly, and Anna and Matt laughed. Anny got out her phone to take a picture of us, but then her eyes fixed on something behind us. I heard someone gasp and then a voice that never failed to make my blook run cold said, “What the fuck?”

The first hit slammed into my head before I had the time to react. People screamed. I stumbled, dots in front of my eyes, and Holden caught me.

“Get your hands off my son, you fucking fag!”

He was ripped away from me and I fell, Something slammed into my face, then my arm, then my ribs. I was pretty sure I heard a crack. More people were screaming now, some of them calling my name. I ignored them, choosing to curl into a ball and close my eyes. I accepted the beatings until finally, everything went black.

[from-chaos-make-art]

2023 NY Resolutions (& 2022 Reflections)

This past year (2022), my one real resolution was to make certain changes to my diet to gain particular results. I just got my test results back from my physical and I can happily report that I did it!! 

Now for 2023, I’d like to continue to focus on my physical health. I work a desk job where I’m sitting the vast majority of the time, and at home, I tend to work et al. in bed, so my back and neck have definitely suffered. This year is the year of moving my body consistently. I don’t want to say I’ll work out x amount of times a week or that I’m going to do specific exercises -- I’m going to see what I can do and go from there. My success will be in if at the end of 2023, I am consistently moving my body every week, and those are all the limits I’ll put on myself. (we gotta start somewhere, otherwise we’ll never get anywhere). 

Diet-wise, I’d also like to limit my sodium intake a bit more. I have a tendency to eat pre-packaged, on-the-go meals, which are already sodium-packed, but if I’m being brutally honest with myself, cooking is not going to be a realistic goal for me next year. So I’d just like to be a bit more careful with my food selection process. 

I’d also like to eat more vegetables & fruit and limit my red meat intake even more (this was the primary goal for last year). Chickin gud. 

These are the three real goals for 2023. 

Now for the cherries:

Creative

This year, I said I wanted to improve on three things: digital work, figures/anatomy, and backgrounds. I took two classes -- Digital Painting & Background/Landscapes and Character Design, so those took care of the first and third things. My anatomy has suffered this year, just because I haven’t practiced it at all because I was struggling trying to figure out how to draw lines on a tablet ^^;;. I also wanted to improve my self-discipline to not just rely on classes to draw...and I think this is something that I really do need to work on. My last class ended in August...and I haven’t drawn since then. Tbh, I have needed a bit of a break, so I’m not going to beat myself up too much over that, but I know that I’m not at the level where I can take time off from practice and my skill not suffer because of it. So this is something that I do want to work on for next year as well, especially because I’ll start to take actual animation classes in the spring, which will very much challenge me. Tall order from 2022 was to draw a comic...yeah, no. No tall orders for 2023. For 2023, we draw and just get better, that’s it. (I think I’m finally getting the hang of this ‘realistic’ goals thing)

Ok, so my ridiculous ass thought I could read 15 books total, and read 3 books of poetry in three different languages...yeah, wtf 2022-me. (I know this is baseline reading for a lot of people, but I do tend to struggle to read long form material now). Now, I did actually deny myself graphic novels this year because I was trying to focus on books...so there’s that...the punishment worked, i guess >.> and I actually did start reading more poetry! but I ended up reading a whole 5 books and 2 plays in 2022...so in 2023, I will actually attempt to go back to reading 12 books, and once I finish 1 book for the month, I will read graphic novels the rest. :D (i give myself a leetle treat).

I did not end up doing needle work at all this year...I took a much-needed break, and I think I’m ready to start again...I’ll take 12 designs for 2023.

No non-travel photographs this year either...but I’m starting to get that itch again...I don’t know yet if I’m ready to commit to this...I’m realizing that this year, I needed to take a bit of a step back from the things I used to do and see if I still even wanted to do them...and if so, then do them with intention...I won’t force myself to take photographs if I don’t want to...just like with writing. If it happens, great. If not, it’s ok. 

I wanted to wear everything in my wardrobe at least once...I did not accomplish that, but I did end up wearing a lot more of my outfits! Some progress is still progress! And so, I would actually like to continue this as a goal for 2023. It was really fun and I very much enjoyed the process of going out if I told myself I was going to dress up for it. It was the first year I started to dress with intention and I’d like to continue doing so.  

New goal: more nail art! I’ve been really enjoying painting my nails over the last few years, but I’d like to get back into doing some real nail art -- I bought tools and everything! I’m just real lazy and I’d rather whip on a pretty top coat or have all the sfx nail polish do all the work for me -- but I have designs and dotting tools and butterfly stickers I need to use!! The rhinestones aren’t going to glue themselves! 2023 is going to be the year of the Claire’s goth. 

Leftovers from 2022: I watched 220 movies, 15 foreign films this year. (And I wonder where all my reading time went). I participated in the film festival and had a blast. I’m definitely going to do it again in 2023, it was really fun.

I wrote 14 songs and 1 poem this year....not the best output, but it is what it is. I’m actually pretty surprised about that 1 poem -- I don’t think I’ve written one for 7 years, so, cool!

Personal

I said I wanted to work on being more sympathetic, kinder, and less judgmental; to have my internal thought processes match my external behaviour; and to not be tempted into my inherent negativity. This is an ongoing resolution obviously, and will probably be the #1 personal thing to work on for the rest of my life, but I do think that I have gotten better this year. What helped immensely, if I’m being honest with myself, is the person that I was struggling to define boundaries with moved away and that allowed me to get more space (physical and mental) from them. I was able to process my emotions easier and to decide on the kind of relationship I wanted to have with them moving forward, which really helped me to stop being so judgmental towards them, and in general. This year, I have worked on trying to listen first, and hold space, rather than jumping to solutions/advice...I’ve also tried to give myself emotional boundaries so as not to get overly involved or influenced by someone else’s emotions/issues. Basking in negativity has been a tiny bit less on the personal side this year, but has been a whole lot more work-wise, and so I’d like to do a little bit less of that next year (but I have thoughts about that!!! anyway, we’ll leave the socio-political discourse for another post).  These are things I need to continue working on, as well as thinking before I speak, and taking things a lot less personally. I have a big tendency to be gutted by the things people say (who doesn’t), usually off-hand, in passing, for years and years afterwards, and stew in my little gremlin resentment hut and howl at the self-pity moon, and I’d like to be a little bit less influenced by other people’s bullshit and gtfo it. 

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude! Again, something to cultivate the rest of my life. But this year, there have been so many things that I am truly grateful for -- the places I’ve been able to go to, the raise I’ve received, my living situation, my loved ones, the opportunities I’ve received, the experiences I’ve had, and my improved mental health. Life is so so good, right now...and I honestly can not believe that I am this lucky to be right here, right now, alive and well, after everything. When I forget and I feel down on myself (which I often do), I read my journal entries from even just one year ago, and I realize that I have truly grown as a person, even if it doesn’t seem that way to me, or even to other people. I can see it in the way I think, the way I write. As anxious or frustrated or insert-negative-emotion-here I am now, it is nothing compared to how I was. When I think of myself five years ago, or even three years ago, it’s day and night. I legitimately don’t know how I even made it through, quite frankly. And for that, I need to be proud of myself and give myself a break, because I deserve it. I really do. (hey, look, i can do affirmations!)

Lastly...I’ve been flirting with the idea of getting back into certain social scenes. I think I’ve been craving certain kinds of experiences that are intimate, but not inherently sexual. I’d like to explore more identity-based and exploratory-based communities...it’s been 10 years...I think I might finally be ready...maybe? also, there’s still covid, so...we’ll see...

[cielwells]

Status Update - March 2024, First Month

Background

Quick background and context for anyone stumbling onto this.  On the twelfth, March 12, I decided to try to turn this into a draw/sketch a day thing.  I was already trying to draw at least three times a week and my streak was at 43.  While not 100% accurate, it seemed a good enough number to start at to avoid fighting with my streak keeping app.

The reason I sometimes include “53/53” and the like is because I am not fully abandoning the original three times a week thing.  The first number is the number done.  The second is the current “days since the project started”.

Reflections

The Format

Since this wasn’t planned, I’ve encountered a few things that could be adjusted going forward. 

The collage above?  Yeah, I decided to try for it early on but I didn’t think about making it non-sanity damaging to put together.  Maybe this works with gaps and the like? 

Maybe it is just my fear of having it too big and wasting people’s time and bandwidth.  Maybe it gives the vibes of collaging in books and physical sketchpads.

… I’m not undecided on whether to go for a strictly organized system or just giving each day more breathing room.

In any case, I started using the iOS Clip Studio’s default 4:3 canvas that is 1600 x 1200px.  When I started posting these online more frequently I switched to the square (1640 x 1640 px) because “Instagram”.  Before switching to “Sticker Size” (370 x 320 px) thinking the smaller canvas would be easier to work with.  Before switching between a few of the others once I realized how small the sticker canvas was to other days when compared.

I am, was, until I began writing this section at least, planning to go back to square for consistency’s sake.  Only, I don’t think that will work.  Welcome to real time self reflection folks!  The train has left the script.  It’s 10:19, I need to be at my Easter “Dinner” location at noon.  Only future me knows if I pushed this out beforehand or waited until I got home to clean this up, and practical time travel isn’t invented yet. 

I’m now doubting the square decision for two reasons.  In exploring the different canvas sizes and shapes I’ve started to get a feel for the canvas affects what is created. 

I don’t know if I would have gone for the torso of 61 in a square as I went into it wanting to attempt something with the head.  I like how the torso came out and really disliked the head.

I believe with 55 I cropped it down from a square despite being drawn in a square. 

I’ve caught myself starting to use drawn color swatches for consistency and more room on the canvas leaves more room for them.

Skill Improvement

I guess I can say I improved some.  After 45, Toga, I realized I needed more practice with facial directions.  This lead to more focused practice on that with days 46 through 51 with the last one just focuses on eyes and iris direction.

Then I needed to do something I felt was funner and I felt more passion for, 52 Sukuna.  I didn’t succeed in all my goals for that day.  The lips specifically. 

There are also blow-off days.  59 – Godzilla is the only example I clearly remember.  By time I was “done” I realized I was in so need of breather day that I didn’t even mark that this was, in fact, drawn with a reference.  56 – Snowman was probably a similar low point but I went with a simpler subject to concentrate what bandwidth I had more constructively.

Day 60 – Needlewise?  No, that was trying.  It was me trying to snap out of the duldrums.  The focused practice for that day was this technique I’ve heard and seen about using thicker outlines for the shape and thinner lines inside the “model”.  See on the arms?  This combined with wanting some darn color.  I missed color by this point, which I’ve avoided near all month because I wanted to focus on the basic… is it line art?  I’m also mildly annoyed that the minimalist details in the dessert got covered up by the cactaur once I unhid it.  I could have avoided this if I just greatly reduced the cactaur’s transparency instead of hiding the layer entirely.

Final Thoughts

One thing I think I need to do more of is watch more guides.  Needlewise shows me that knowing something is a thing doesn’t mean I can do it anywhere close to reasonable on my own. 

Me realizing I’m not 100% what I was focusing on, in general, this month is lineart or something else tells me I’m missing some fundamentals in terminology.  If I don’t know the terms then finding guides will be harder.

One thing I like about the Takodachi, 61, Rule 63 v-tuber, and the gnome is that I knew when to stop for the day.  Some advice I’m seeing a lot in videos on the daily drawing topic and general improvement is not drawing for hours and hours just to draw.  Unless you are doing it for fun.  With each I hit some sort of wall, reached a satisfactory minimum amount of goal achieving, and moved on. 

Looking at all the different things I’ve tried, I do wonder if I shouldn’t focus on one specific thing more next month.  Then I look at Sukuna and 55-B the landscape.  I know myself.  If I spent a month working on only lips or only eyes, unless it just groked with me in a fun way, I would begin to resent this project.  I still wish I had a style I knew I wanted to shoot for so that I could at least do variations of topics around that style.

[sysig]

Eyyy the Friend Shapes inbox is clear again ✨

[damnedparker]

Here’s an Adrian chase request! Adrian finds out the reader draws him a lot n he finds it so endearing n cute he can’t stop gushing about it to ppl n the reader n kissing them all over for being so sweet n maybe the 11th street gang make jokes about how the drawings are too good to be of Adrian

hello! sorry this took longer than intended, getting back into the mindset to write for adrian is hard and i've been working a lot. but i hope you like it :) tysm for ur request!!

Adrian had no idea that an inanimate object could taunt him so much.

It's like your sketchbook, even closed and plastered with cute stickers on the cover, is screaming open me! open me! directly into his eardrums. His fingers are practically twitching.

Normally, he'd have been halfway through looking at it by now. You two share almost everything; it's just the way your relationship is, even only after a few months being together. You're like two open books.

Ha. Irony.

But the thing stopping Adrian from picking up the book is just how secretive you've been with it the past few weeks. He'd known that you drew, you did just about anything art related. He'd always admired your passion for creative hobbies. But you never showed him any, even awkwardly cover them up when he tries to peek. And it'd been even more intense lately, with you either on the other side of the room, or completely in another room, huddled with your phone next to your sketchbook. If you aren't drawing, it's tucked away somewhere Adrian hasn't discovered yet. The only reason it's now here, sitting in front of his curious eyes on the coffee table, is that you'd rushed out the door, having nearly forgotten to pick up the takeout you ordered an hour before.

You'd been gone now twenty minutes, and Adrian's spent half of that in the same spot, staring at the book. He knows he probably shouldn't open it, but he's also super fucking curious. How bad could it be? Surely there weren't any big secrets in there, right? It's just drawings. You aren't the cerebral type when it comes to your art hobbies; it's more of a way to relax or give yourself something to focus on to decompress from the rest of life.

Another five minutes passes before Adrian steels himself, finally picking up the book and flipping through its pages. A smile slowly curls up his lips once he gets a quarter of the way through various sketches of places around your apartment, little goofy cartoons of the 11th Street Kids, into a number of pages of... himself?

His heart races as he takes it in, warmth crawling up his arms and settling in his chest pleasantly. Graphite sketches, some in higher detail than others, carefully done with each stroke building a near perfect image of him. His jaw could've fallen off and dropped to the floor. Your other stuff is great, he was amazed on the first page in, but something about you spending hours-- days by the dates scribbled next to each sketch-- capturing him in such detail. His shock turns into a smile so wide his cheeks hurt.

As he continues to leaf through them, various sketches in different areas of your life together-- the sofa, your bed, Fennel Fields, Hennenlotter Video, even the van during one long roadtrip for a mission-- he finally reaches the most recent one, dated today. You have the day off, and with Adrian only having had a half-shift as well, you'd both lounged in bed longer than usual this morning. He remembers you shifting over to where he couldn't see the paper as you'd begun to draw, so he'd focused on playing a game on his phone, the TV playing some sitcom rerun in the background. The sound of your pencil weaving in and out of laugh tracks and commercials. Your legs stretched out comfortably over his thighs from your side of the bed. His hand massaging your ankle affectionately. It was so peaceful. And even he could see it now, reflected back on his own face constructed in shades of grey, careful scribbles shading the late morning light framing his face.

Adrian is so distracted by the memory that he doesn't notice you opening the door until a loud thunk makes his head jerk towards you when you drop the bag of food on the floor.

"Adrian!" Your voice turns a bit shrill in panic as you reach for your sketchbook in his hands. He pulls it just out of your reach with a smile. Meanwhile your frown nearly reaches your shoes. "Give it back, you weren't supposed to see that."

"Why not? It's just me," he smiles at you brightly. He finds the pink dusting your cheeks incredibly endearing. "You shouldn't hide these anyway, babe, you're a regular Salvador Deli!"

"It's Dali--"

"Are you sure? I always remembered his name because it sounded like Salami Deli and--"

"Adrian!" You whine, finally prying the book from his hands. You huff. "I'm just-- I guess I'm embarrassed. I don't want you to think I'm a creep or something for drawing you so much. And- and they're not that great--"

"First of all, they are great, fucking amazing, actually. Second, you could never be a creep, dude, not with skills like that, plus, we're dating, how is it any different than when I take photos of you?" He presses a kiss to your cheek, squeezes your wrist. Tugs you impossibly close to him. The heat of your embarrassment fades into the familiar warmth of Adrian's affections. "I think it's cute that I'm your muse or whatever, baby. I've never been someone's muse before. This is just like Titanic." You let out a giggle at that because, no, it really isn't, but you understand what he means. It's cute. Adrian kisses your cheek again.

"Okay, Jack." You mumble, overwhelmed with warmth as he presses his cheek to yours, practically overflowing with his affection for you. He almost prances over to the food you left on the floor, completely moving on to another conversation.

"Speaking of, did you know the first time I watched that I only saw the second VHS tape when I was a kid? I thought it was a horror movie."

--

Adrian knowing about your art was a blessing and a curse. You love having his support, his constant praises were motivation to you, and validation that nobody would shy away from. It's also nice to not have to worry about hiding them from him anymore, and sometimes he makes sure not to move for a while if he notices you're drawing him.

On the other hand, he continues to tell absolutely everyone, every single person you bump into, how talented he thinks you are, and "oh you should see, I have it right here on my phone." It's sweet, really, but sometimes it gets overwhelming. You're hoping it'll die down soon, but knowing Adrian, it might be a while before he fixates on some other quality to brag on you about. Again, he's sweet.

He especially never stops gushing to the 11th Street Kids, most often Chris and Leota, the latter who, god bless her, actually shows interest, and is incredibly supportive. Well, she was at first, now it's just to make you flustered just to get on your nerves.

Chris, however, consistently tries to convince Adrian you aren't actually drawing him, because you make him look too attractive. And every single day you are on the verge of kicking him in the nuts.

"Adrian, man, I'm telling you, they just put a pair of glasses on a random stock photo model, you are not this hot--"

"Christopher Smith, put my boyfriend's name in your mouth in a negative context one more time, and you will no longer have a dick that works."

[angry-geese]

Hi! I was wondering if I could please request some Nanami x female reader? Like they have been in a relationship for a few months and haven't done it yet so it's their first time together. Reader has only ever been with guys who don't care much about her pleasure or don't know how to please a women, and when Nanami finds out he takes his time worshipping her body and making sure she feels amazing? Thank you!!!

Of course!! <3

All That's Left is Us

Nanami Kento x Reader

Warnings: not sfw, mdni. fluff and smut. fingering, oral (fem recieving), hickeys, lots of praise (use of good girl), nanami is kind of a soft dom. not beta read so i apologize for any errors. fem!reader

Word count: 2.8k

jjk masterlist

“Kenny, get in here!” You call out. “You’re gonna miss it.”

From the kitchen you hear him mutter something. He loathes the nickname. If Nanamin wasn't bad enough, Kenny was worse. So of course you use it to torment him.

Nanami appears a moment later, drinks in hand. Cocoa for you, tea for him. He hands yours to you, settling down next to you on the couch. Steam curls off the surface of the cup.

You can't say you're really watching the movie, so much as you're present for it's duration. It drones on in the background while you talk. Not about anything in particular. Work. Your plans for the weekend. Groceries you need to get. Boring, domestic things that you never really gave much thought to before, let alone talk about them. You used to hate small talk.

You let the warmth from the cup seep out into your hands. It's still too hot to drink without burning your tongue, but you’re too impatient to wait for it to cool down. You sip on the thin, sweet liquid, letting it warm you from the inside out. The feeling of it makes you shiver.

“Are you cold?” Nanami asks, running his hand over your arm, feeling the goosebumps that rise along your skin.

“A little,” you say.

He coaxes you into his lap, pulling the blanket from the back of the couch, wrapping it around you. You let your head rest against his chest, listening to the soft beating of his heart. His touch is soft as his fingers trace the curve of your spine. You nuzzle closer, stealing any bit of warmth you can from him. Your gaze drifts to the tv.

You shift in his lap, trying to find a more comfortable position. His grip around you tightens, holding you in place. You don't want to annoy him too much with your squirming, and settle down quickly. His arms return to their place around your waist. Nanami’s head settles into the crook of your neck, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder. Goosebumps are visible under the collar of your—his—shirt. You giggle and lean into his touch.

It's subtle at first; the weight pressing against your plush thighs. Nanami can't help it; not when you’re grinding your perfect ass against him, or when your shorts ride up to give a better view of your thighs. Oh how he’d kill to be buried in your velvety cunt.

He's the first to lean into the kiss.

It's just a peck on your cheek. One that makes you blush and attempt to bury your face in his shirt. He pulls you back for another kiss. You taste sweet. The taste of the cocoa still lingers on your lips. This time it does more than make you blush. There's a certain neediness behind his touch, albeit a restrained kind. His touch leaves a heat pooling between your legs.

His hand finds its way under the band of your shorts, right at the hem of your panties. The feeling of your slick cunt makes Nanami shudder. You’re this wet already? It doesn't take long for his fingers to find your clit, and begin drawing circles around it. The scent of his cologne is enough to make your head spin. He smells so nice. You nuzzle into the crook of his neck, hiding your face in a poor attempt to conceal your embarrassment.

It's not like you haven't been naked around him before- the two of you have taken showers together. Nudity wasn't some taboo thing in your relationship. You've never had a problem changing when he was around. You practically slept naked due to how hot his apartment got in the summer. Nanami never did anything to make you uncomfortable. Throughout your entire relationship, you always thought you were comfortable around him.

It was going to happen eventually. But you found yourself stalling, or backing out at the last moment. Nanami never pressed. He was never going to make you do something you didn't want to do. Sex is no fun if his partner is not completely into it.

The way your body stiffens doesn't go unnoticed by him. Nanami almost curses himself for not noticing sooner, and pulls away.

“Are you alright?” He asks. “Do you want me to stop?”

It's not that you don't want to. You do. More than anything. But your body freezes in a way you can't quite understand. You’ve dealt with curses that are all sorts of nightmares made real, and wormed your way out of fights you were certain would be your last, but now you’re frozen? Never during the months you’ve been dating has he done something to make you uncomfortable. Nanami has always been respectful, never pushing you to do anything you didn't want to.

Then why are you so flustered?

“I want to,” you say. “I’m sorry, I just…”

His touch is soft as he grips your chin, tilting your head to look him in the eyes. The look behind them is unreadable.

“I need a yes,” he says, “use your words.”

“Yes,” you say, “I want this.”

The kiss he pulls you into is nothing short of needy. You shift in his lap to face him, straddling his toned thighs. His hands move to rest on your hips, kneading the soft flesh.

“I've just…” you swallow hard, “never been with anyone who’s done that before.”

He doesn't waste a moment before asking “have you ever mastubated before?”

His calm demeanor, combined with the rather nonchalant way he asked it makes blood rush to your face. You want nothing more than to shy away, and shrink under his gaze. An aching heat pools between your legs. You want nothing more than for him to touch you. The outline of his hardening cock is visible through his sweatpants. The sight of it is nearly enough to make you drool. Despite this, you avert your eyes. Partly to preserve your dignity.

“What?!” You ask, mortified. “I'm not a virgin!”

“That's not what I asked, my love,”

You swallow hard. It's rather hard to lie to him. Impossible even.

“I've tried.” You say. “It's not really that… great.”

“Show me how you touch yourself.”

You know Nanami well enough to know he’s not asking.

He lets you pull back long enough to slide your shorts—along with your panties—down your hips. They're tossed aside with no care to where they end up. He helps maneuver you to sit down in his lap, your back against his chest, your legs spread on either side of his thighs.

Nanami sucks on the skin of your neck. He's fighting back the urge to bite. Not now. Now isn't the time to be rough. But he’d love nothing more than to mark you as his own. Though, he already has, seeing as it's his shirt you’re wearing. His couch you’re currently splayed across. His scent all over you.

Your hand trails between your legs only to stop. You're this wet and he's hardly touched you? The sheer lewdness of the action is enough to have you stumbling over your words. Facing away from him is your only solace in all this. You don't know if you could look him in the eyes and do this.

Your fingers find your slit only to clumsily play with it. There's no real pattern to your movements. You just do what feels nice, but it's not getting you anywhere any time fast.

His fingers lace with yours, pulling your hand from your swollen clit. This draws a frustrated moan from you. Nanami brings your fingers to his mouth, popping your slick-covered digits inside. The feeling of his tongue makes you squirm. It's not entirely unpleasant, though it is strange. You're not really sure how to feel about that.

A shock of pleasure is sent up your spine the moment his fingers graze your clit. Soft at first. Hardly there. But you’re left sensitive, and aching for more. Nanami draws slow, lazy circles around the bundle of nerves, coaxing soft moans from you.

“How’s this?” He asks.

“Feels fine-” you say, between heavy breaths.

“Just fine?” He teases through a sigh, “I can stop.”

The moment he pulls his hand back, you’re reaching for his wrist. Nanami takes the hint to not tease so much. Though, the question stems more out of curiosity, than malice. All he wants to do is make you feel good.

His thumb traces circles around the bundle of nerves. Steady. Tension builds in your stomach like a rubber band being stretched tight. Your nails dig into your palms so hard they leave little crescent-shaped indents in your skin. You're so close to your release, balancing on that edge but never falling over the side. You want nothing more than for him to keep touching you. To fill the aching emptiness in your cunt.

“Nobody’s ever touched you like this, have they?” He asks.

Your face burns. But you’re too focused on the absence of his hand to think straight.

“I think you know the answer to that,” you say softly. It takes great effort to force the words from your throat. Your mouth feels dry.

He hums in response. Though he takes that for an answer, which is comforting.

“We’re doing this in bed then,” he says.

You hardly get out a “what?” before he’s hauling you into his arms bridal style. The blanket falls discarded at your feet. You gasp at the sudden weightless feeling, scrambling to wrap your arms around his neck.

He chuckles, and softly says “I'm not going to drop you.”

Nanami isn't going to have his first time with you on your couch. The bed is better suited for such things. And though he’s not opposed to a quickie, he wants to take his time with you.

Though your face is buried in the crook of his neck, you have a vague notion of where he’s headed. Your room. Well, his, but it might as well be your own as you spend more time in his apartment than your own. The bed is still unmade from this morning. You've had the day off, and not bothered to make it, as you planned on lazing about the apartment all day. Rather than tossing you, he sets you down, taking great care that your head doesn't accidentally bump the wall.

He's not oblivious to your past partners. Some he's met, others he's only heard of through you. You've talked about them in passing. Not with much fondness, or frequency. Those chapters of your life were closed. And you were content to leave it that way. Everything was either too much trouble to bother with, or had come to its own conclusion.

It all makes sense now. At least to him.

You part your legs to allow him room to settle between them. The bed dips as he kneels at the foot of the mattress. Nanami strips off his shirt, tossing it over the edge of the bed. His hands work under the hem of your shirt, nudging it up over your breasts. One of his hands gropes greedily at your breast, kneading it in his hand. Though your gaze remains firmly locked to the ceiling, you feel his eyes travel down your body.

“Look at you,” he coos, “how pretty.”

You're not certain you could blush any deeper. Embarrassed, your arms move to cover your face.

“Don't hide from me,” he says, “let me see you.”

Slowly you remove your hands from your face, arms crossing over your chest. His hand moves to cup your cheek, thumb running across your cheekbone.

“There's my pretty girl,” he coos.

His praise falls on deaf ears as his fingers return to your clit, toying with the bundle of nerves. You’re soaked. If only you knew how wet you are.

He leans down to press a kiss to your lips. It's nothing more than a peck. A soft, fleeting touch. You gasp at the feeling of his lips on your neck, leaving a trail of kisses and hickeys down to your collarbone, then the valley between your breasts. You’re so focused on the feeling of his hand that you hardly notice his head moving lower.

Your body freezes at the feeling of a hot tongue against your clit. Nanami licks a stripe up your slit, tongue briefly dipping between your folds. His arms hook around your thighs, pulling you towards him. His mouth quite literally feels like heaven. Better than that, even. Your head falls back against the pillows, eyes screwed shut. Tension builds in your stomach with each skilled flick of his tongue. The vibrations from each grunt and groan that leaves him works your clit in a way that has you crying out his name.

Your first orgasm rolls over you like a wave, blindsiding you completely. Your thighs clench around Nanami’s head, trembling as you ride out your orgasm on his tongue. You're left a mess. The both of you are. You moreso than him. The inner parts of your thighs are coated with a mix of saliva, and your own cum.

When he pulls away, his chin glints in the low light. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. You can taste yourself on his lips when he kisses you. It's not unpleasant, but you don't understand why he seems to like it so much. You expect him to say something. Anything, really. But he stays silent.

Your legs part to make room for his body as he settles on top of you, caging you in his arms. He shoves his sweatpants—along with his boxers—down his hips. His cock springs loose, slapping against his toned stomach as it's freed from his boxers. Nanami isn't the most intimidating in size. He’s certainly not small, but his cock is fairly average, albeit a bit on the thicker side. You’ve seen it before- it's not like this is your first time seeing him naked. But whether it's your first, or your hundredth, you’re always stunned by the sight of it.

He groans as he bottoms out. The sound makes a heat burn low in your stomach, which soon turns scorching in nature. Such a noise is not drawn from him so easily. You feel better than he could have ever imagined. There's little resistance as he presses into you. Despite this, he gives you a moment to adjust to his size.

“How’s this?” He asks. “Feel alright? Nothing hurts?”

“Feels good, Ken,” you say.

His thrusts are slow at first. He’s testing the waters, eyes locked on your face for any sign of discomfort. You want more. You need more. You need him to fill your aching, needy cunt.

“Faster,” you whine. He silences you with a kiss, nibbling at your bottom lip until you allow his tongue to enter your mouth.

The sound of his hips slapping against yours fills the room. Mindless praise falls past his lips; calling you a good girl, telling you how good you feel around him. His head falls into the crook of your neck, teeth finding the junction where your shoulder meets your neck. It's hardly enough to leave a mark, but the feeling of his teeth against your skin is enough to make you shudder. His touch is pleasurable in the strangest sort of way. You've never felt anything quite like it.

Nanami can't tear his eyes away from how your breasts bounce with each thrust. His hands trail up your body, feeling every dip and curve of your form.

“Beautiful,” he coos, “so- fuck!”

You can hear it in his voice. He's close. His thrusts grow sloppier as he nears his own release. But he’s holding back. There's a sense of restraint in his actions as he fucks you senseless.

When you finally cum, you cum hard. Your orgasm tears through you, pulling you apart and putting you back together wrong. Your legs clench around his hips as you gush around his cock.

Your mind is too clouded with lust to realize he’s not put on a condom. Nanami almost doesn't realize himself. It's only at the last moment that panic crosses his mind, and he tears himself away from your sweet cunt. He pulls out as his release nears, giving his cock a few pumps as his seed spills onto his hand and your bare stomach.

Your limbs feel weak, but your head feels light, and floaty. You’re not sure your legs would support your weight even if you tried to stand up.

Nanami moves to rest beside you on the bed. And for a moment you lay there. His eyes are locked on the steady rise and fall of your chest. Between the weight of his body beside you, and the warmth that spreads through your limbs, you find yourself nodding off. You groan as he pulls away, missing the warmth of his body. He simply says “I’ll be right back” as he disappears into the other room. While he’s gone, you discard your shirt, that's grown damp with sweat.

He returns a moment later with a damp washcloth, motioning for you to sit in his lap. You practically melt into his touch, basking in the warmth of his body. He drags the rough cloth across your skin. Soft. Lovingly. Like he’s trying to memorize every inch of your body.

If your heart wasn't still racing, you could almost fall asleep here.

“How was it?” He asks.

“I don't know,” you say, “I think I need another round to help me decide.”

[bambuwu-writes]

wow your hcs are so adorable! can i ask for gender neutral s/o slow dancing with citron, sakoda and juza? 🌟

Oh this is so cute,.,.my heart.,.,.please.,., like, irl i am vv awkward ab dancing (i only do it alone lol) but oh my goodness, the idea of dancing with someone just melts me lol

Also so sorry ab the inconsistency in formatting, something possessed me while writing citron’s?? And then i shut down completely while trying to write juza’s and didnt finish it for MONTHS IM SORRY

Citron

He’s the one that's physically the closest to you the entire time, at certain points you two can hardly even move, you’re just kinda holding each other while music quietly plays in the background

Obsessed with staring into your pretty eyes <3, he may bump into something, dw he’s ok!!!

The spring troupe had just finished a run with a local college theatre group, while it was their off season, they all loved the script they were given to work with and Citron had an incredible amount of fun playing the role of a young professor. He absolutely adored the big warm coat that was part of the costume and Yuki practically had to pull it off him at the end of practices. Except for today. Somehow, some way he was able to evade Yuki’s inordinately good tracking skills and was holed up in his room showing you how warm and cozy and swishy the coat was! After twirling in it, Citron gasped as if an entire sun spider was crawling up the door behind you. Before you had a second to see what the hell prompted such a reaction, your boyfriend practically tackled you, to your great confusion.

“Darling, oh I know you’d look so cute in this, please please please put it on??”

Oh. oh no. Citron was doing the one thing you couldn't resist. Puppy dog eyes. Damn him and his cute face.

With only a slightly exasperated sigh, you respond with “ok ok, but only for a minute!! If Yuki finds me and tries to induct me into his society of sewing servants as payback for keeping the coat out of the costume room you have to come to my rescue! Promise?”

“I swear!!!”, ever the dramatic dweeb, your dashing prince kneels down, holding your hand, bringing to mind how he swore his loyalty to you when you first started dating.

With such sweet [and mildly embarrassing thoughts] occupying your mind, you hardly notice how Citron jumps up and draws the coat over your shoulders, cooing at how precious you looked!

obvi he started twirling u around to see the coat all swishy on you <3 he loves u soo much waaaajfhkjvdf,,

between the twirls he gets the idea to pull you into a little dance but he just kinda loves holding u so much its not that much moving, more like,,,..,prolonged-standing-hugging

Sakoda

this sweet little punk can be so smooth and fluctuate back to his goofball self in less than 0.0005 seconds it’s almost scary

(don’t let izumi find out or she’ll definitely try and get him into one of the troupes)

You two were watching a movie together and there was a really cinematic scene where two of the side characters just spent a few minutes dancing together. It didn’t really contribute to the main plot, and neither of the characters had much screen time besides that one scene, but something about it was so real, and so sweet that sakoda was practically melting over it.

Whenever you watch movies with him that he’s already seen he tends to watch your face to see how you react to his favorite moments and oh…,,oh his poor little heart,.,.

The soft, cool light of the small television in his apartment lit up your face in the prettiest way. He could see just how imperceptibly your brows furrowed as you tried to catch a glimpse of a poster in the background, how you grinned from ear to ear as you heard one of the characters told the other a horrendously bad pun, oh god, how you leaned towards the edge of your spot on the sofa, how your hand drifted to rest on his knee when it looked like the characters were about to kiss

He could not stand how sweet you looked

And then when you told him to pause the movie and get his cute ass up he was vv much confused

“Ken, I think I know the song they’re playing! Wait one second…Got it!”

He couldn't help but giggle at how proud of yourself you looked as you dragged him into the centre of the living room, gently pushing aside the box of dvds Sakoda was pawing through earlier with your foot

And when you pressed ‘play’ on your phone and he heard the first few bars of music, when you rushed over to him and clumsily placed one hand on the back of his left shoulder, one hand interlaced with his, and oh god when you started to lead him in a soft little dance around the area rug you two bought last month, he was sure he was the luckiest man alive

Juza

Oh my goodness i love this boy so so so much.,.,he’s such a sweet lad,.,.soft boy,,.baby,..,babyyy boyy.,.,

Ok, you will have to take the lead on this one!

As much as juza adores you and wants you to feel like royalty, he is soooooo haunted by the rough edges of his life in a real sad babygirl way

At least at the beginning of your relationship, he really does not trust himself to not screw up. He cares too much about you to make dumb mistakes, and he foresees sooo much going wrong if he tries to pull off something so stupidly suave

So, it was your 1 month anniversary and you were BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS

You!!! You and your boy!!! A whole month!!!! Your!!!! Boy!!!!!!

You wanted to spoil him soooo badddd

He managed to beat you to the punch [unintentional, but a good metaphor for this lad!], by inviting you to a cat cafe he said Mr. Mikage recommended <3 [hell yeah hiso, thank u king]

He even downloaded the little app the store released so your drinks and snacks would be ready when you got there?!?! This boy!??!?!?

The store was owned by this really sweet older couple in the neighborhood who had started dating a few years ago [azuma filled you in on the gossip <3] and you always felt so happy looking into the store every morning as you walked past, with Mr. Hayashi outside, watering the plants, and Mr. Agawa inside, bringing out some baked goods

The only other person in the store at the moment though, was the young woman at the register who seemed to be getting either veryyy antsy or veryyy excited about something. After noticing her looking at you and juza at least 5 times in as many minutes you landed on the assumption that she proooobably figured out you two were on a date

And for some reason she left for the break room

And you could swear the lighting in the store dimmed, even though it was like, 10am and sunny outside

And the music suddenly sounded a lot more like a soft, romantic lofi playlist

Oh

…

Ok register girl. I see you. Well played. Well played indeed…

From your vantage point [bean bag chair, best option for observational missions, tactical retreats, and cosy snuggles with that bigass maine coon], you saw juza trying his damnest to keep cat hair off of his shortcake. More than once you saw him raise that silly little cake fork to take a bite and make the cutest scrunched up frownie face when he saw a hair just as he was ab to indulge in delicious strawberry creamy cake-y goodness!! Real tragic!! Real cute!!

you had genuine concern that your heart was going to rupture or strain or pull a muscle or whatever it is that hearts do from the sheer cuteness of the pretty boy in front of you, so you spring into action

nobly shielding juza’s dessert with your jacket tented delicately over the plate, you guided that darling boy of yours to stand up and hold your hands

while juza didnt know exactlyyy what you were planning, he knew it was meant to be romantic, so he took advantage of your single second of strategic slow-dance-stance-ing to give you a little kiss on the forehead :))))

he is vv pleased with himself :)))

i worry im getting repetitive, so i’ll cut to the chase, you tell juza you wanna dance!! [boogie woogie groovy woovy], you step on each other’s feet while trying to avoid stepping on cats, cashier is overjoyed at her instincts proving right, and the cafe owners peek through the staff break room window too and after aww-ing at how cute you two are they start slow-dancing too! bam! done! two cute couples in one hc am i the best or am i the best hell yeahhhgg

[oaklies-side]

I’m bored and procrastinating on an animation, so instead of actually doing it, I decided to rant about animation! Here are tons of my tips and tricks for animating. Feel free to use any of them to improve your own works fellow animators! This post will be divided into four sections; Motivation and burnout, Art/drawing tips, Transitions, and Programs. Please keep in mind I am in no way an expert or claiming to be one, however I do art for a living, and I’ve been animating for nearly six years now, so I feel like I probably know a thing or two. Motivation and Burnout: -Take constant breaks however often you need. This can be every 30 minutes, every time you finish a scene, hell, even every time you finish a frame. Stretch, watch a short YouTube video, get something to eat, ex. I personally don’t have a break schedule, just whenever I’m bored, tired, or have finished an amount I feel satisfied with for the day. Find what works best for you! -Listen to something as background noise. This can be songs you really like, a podcast, a musical soundtrack, youtube videos, streams, audio books, or whatever else your heart desires. You can listen to white noise or rain sounds or something like that, but I personally prefer something that engages my brain. (You can also use this to encourage breaks. If you’re at a bit of a podcast that you just can’t focus on whilst drawing, take a five minute break to focus on it alone! Your favorite song to bop out to comes on? Stand up and dance around in your workspace, sing along, just have fun!  -Have a food or drink next to you! I always like having something to munch or slurp on when drawing or animating. Make sure these snacks are smaller though, I’d recommend dedicating actual meal time to break time.  -This is a bad habit of mine and I’m sure many other artists, but if you’re demotivated, don’t try and trudge through unless there’s some form of deadline. If you’re simply animating for YouTube or something, just take a break! There’s no shame in doing so, and you’ll find that you actually work much faster when you are motivated, so the break helps with efficiency rather than hinders it. -Set goals for yourself! Make them reasonable and not too out of reach. Say something like, “I’d like to draw 20 frames today.”, “I’d like to finish this storyboard by the end of the week.”, “I’d like to finish this scene today.”, “I’d like the animation to be done within a month and a half.” Make some bigger ones as well as smaller ones to give yourself short bursts of motivation, but also to keep that motivation going in the long run. Art/Drawing Tips: -Choose a simple style. This one kind of goes with motivation, but choosing a super complex art style often leads to the product just never being finished, especially if you’re a beginner. -Practice drawing. Bring a sketchbook with you everywhere and just draw. The better you get at drawing, the better you get at animation -Study other artists work. You can even trace! (Don’t post/claim it as your own EVER), but tracing for personal study is absolutely fine. It helps you figure out the shapes the artist used to make their character look how it does.  -Never be ashamed to use references, they help a ton. -Color matters and can make an animation really pop. Choose a simple palate, what I normally do is assign one color per character, have a color for background objects, and maybe some others if I really want a certain scene or object to stand out against the rest. -Shape language is a really cool tool. Learn it.  -Don’t worry about developing a style. Just draw. The style will come along the way.  Transitions: -(First off, please note that in this section, I say the word ‘character’ a lot. However, these methods apply on objects too! Just wanted to clear that up, you can use them on more than just people.) -Yes, frame by frame looks pretty, and you can use it in that sick action sequence, but also, try making things easier for yourself when you can. The following points will be describing some of my favorite easy transitions.  -Bounce back effects, the one I use the most. Basically, think of a ball bouncing. This ball will smoosh down against the ground, then spring back up, looking elongated as it does so. Or think of a car jerking forwards, before coming back a bit and to a complete stop. These are both bounce back effects. If your character is just changing poses, I’d recommend doing the ball method. smoosh your drawing down, then spring it back up. If your character is moving across the screen, move them just a bit further than their final destination, then bring them back. This makes animation look smoother and saves a ton of time.  -Smear or smudge frames! These are usually used when a character or object is going really fast. Smear the drawing and add a bit of motion blur in the direction a character is going.  -Partial movement frames! Not sure what the technical definition of this is, but this is when a character isn’t fully moving, just a small bit of them is, say they’re waving, or their hair is blowing in the breeze. Copy paste the rest without this bit, and only worry about redrawing that part! -Tweening, okay.. I know what you’re going to say, because the animation community these days is so against tweening. I’ll admit, it doesn’t look the greatest when using excessively, but in small amounts? It can look good. Don’t overuse it, but don’t completely avoid it either. (Tweening is when different body parts are drawn on different layers so that movement can be done without redrawing. However, this only really works for simple movements, so use it sparingly.)  -Even when you are drawing frame by frame, these methods can be important. More so smear and smudge and bounce back, but tweening in some cases as well. You can incorporate these tricks into your frame by frame animation to make it look better as well. They aren’t just used to trick the minds eye into thinking there are in-betweens when there’s not. Programs: -Study your program. This’ll make things go much faster and allow for shortcuts. Animation is all about shortcuts. -Start out with something cheap or free. You don’t want to spend hundreds of dollars on a drawing tablet and expensive programs when you first start. Draw on your ipad or phone if you have one, use flipaclip, imovie, ibis paint, kinemaster, or other free programs. Animation takes a ton of time and if you find in a month that you hate it and want to quit, you don’t want to have waisted hundreds or thousands of dollars.  -That being said, the creative cloud is pretty sweet. If you’re invested and have the money, I’d recommend it.  -Procreate is also amazing. I love it and actually use it to this day, even with having the creative cloud. You can’t do any complex editing but you can make some neat stuff on there.  -Decide what kind of animation you want to do. Do you want it more frame by frame? Get a program like procreate, flipaclip, or adobe animate. More drawn and edited? Try using a drawing and editing program combo. One of my friends uses ibispaint and imovie on her phone. I used to use ibispaint and kinemaster. I now use photoshop and premiere pro.  -Watch tons of YouTube tutorials. Google stuff. Chances are, you may find an easier way to do that thing that’s taken you five hours in the past. And that’s it! Thank you for reading all the way through, I hope these helped! Feel free to ask questions, I’ll try to answer any I may get. Cya! Happy animating

[concentrateandpush]

Just like Charles had promised, he barely let me stay not pregnant. Baby is only 11 months old and I’m 40 weeks pregnant, which is unheard of with twins. I’ve been up all night with the little one and she’s at that point where EVERYTHING is interesting, fingers in plugs, stuffing bread into where it doesn’t belong.. we’ve gone through 3 iPhones because they just done belong in the bath. But, she’s beautiful and eagerly awaiting the arrival of her little play mates.

“Sweetheart, are you going to have nap time? Then when you wake up, Daddy’s going to be home?” I smile, trying to entice her into the idea. She shakes her head and just runs wild, it’s not that I don’t want to play with her and keep her entertained, it’s that I physically can’t at this point. “Up! Up!!” She smiles to me and I just can’t resist her face and so I get up letting her pull me to where ever she wants. “Ake! Ake!” She smiles, anything but fucking baking “Oh angel.. Mommy’s really tired” I sigh and kneel down “what about drawing? Or even.. even swimming?” I offer and her eyes light up.

Luckily, we have a pool in our garden, a decent sized one. “Okay, come on” I nod and get her changed before getting myself into a one piece. Once we’re in, she’s loving life, she’s like a sea creature, she’s always been great in the water. I look down at my stomach and give a gently brush over the top “we’re ready for you babies” I whisper. As if by magic, I start to feel an all too familiar pain. Biting my lip and just observing, I watch my stomach as it tightens slightly. I had already gotten my mucus plug, so I knew it was coming, but it takes me by surprise.

I ride through a few easy contractions and then decide it’s time to get out “Okay, sweetheart, time to get out” I smile and laboriously grunt as I pick her up and climb out. She senses something isn’t quite right, I know this because there was no nagging to stay in there. I check the time and sigh seeing that it’s still a while before Charles comes home. I settle her down and get her on the couch in a big towel and wrap one around myself, just trying to ease the pains as they come in and let out.

A while goes by and I check the time again, he’s late, baby is passed out on the couch with some kids show playing in the background and I can’t carry her up to bed at this point. Things are getting harder and I find myself squatting as I hold onto the kitchen counter, panting and trying to not wake her. I reach for my phone and call him, letting it ring and ring until he picks up “Babe? Im so sorry, work was crazy” he explains and I cut across “I need you here, I’ve gone into labor” I explain. “Shit, okay.. I’ll have Mom come and pick her up” he says fast and I shake my head “no you know she won’t let us do this alone” I sigh. “Okay, okay.. I’ll.. what about Juno?” He offers and I nod “yeah, just.. just get her here” I say as I clearly get closer to another contraction.

With in minutes, Juno comes in and looks around, I’m still on my knees in the kitchen. “Juno! She’s asleep there, she should sleep through, please just.. don’t tell them that they’re coming yeah?” I ask and she nods “I’ve got you, I won’t say a thing.. I trust you won’t say a thing in a few months when it’s my turn” she smiles softly and I beam at her “you’re kidding me?!” I ask as I get up and go to her, wrapping my arms around her “that’s amazing, I.. I’m so happy for you” I giggle. “Thank you, I’m ten weeks” she blushes. I knew that her and her girlfriend wanted a baby, but I didn’t expect her to do it at 17 and I have no idea who the dad is, but her face.. she’s so happy. “I’m so proud of you” I smile and tuck some hair back behind her ear.

“Babe?! Lena!?” Charles shouts and Juno shakes her head as if to say not to tell him. “I’ve got you” I whisper and rub her back before shouting “kitchen!”. “It’s our secret” I nod to her and squeal excitedly before he comes through. “Hey Juju” he smiles and rubs her back “hey bro, I’m going, I just came for Missy” she smiles and gets her bag and heads on out, leaving us alone.

“So you’re okay?” He checks and I nod “they’re still pretty far apart” I explain and drop the towel, letting him see my belly through the tight suit. I watch his face and see his nose flare “fuck” he whispers. I can’t help but smile as I lead to the couch “coming?” I ask and he nods, following as I go. I lay down and open my legs “I guess I need to make room right?” I ask shyly and bite my lip “I mean.. the head is going to be huge at forty weeks and I’m so tight..” I sigh, watching him get all hot and bothered.

“I..” he starts and I laugh a little “we have time, I’m not feeling movement or anything.. want to stretch me?” I offer and he swallows thickly. “There are some objects over there.. I want to push before I have to push” I say softly and he just gets up and goes for them. I go to take my swimsuit off and he shakes his head “I want that on.. I want you to struggle” he says calmly and I nod “as you please sir”.

He comes back with an inflatable ball, looking at me and I nod “you need to put it in.. how can I push it out otherwise?” I say innocently. He nods and picks up some lube, rubbing it all over me. He slides his fingers in and I groan a little before he pushes the ball in and starts to inflate it. I feel it expanding inside of me, I wouldn’t be able to play for long before baby works their way down. He starts pumping, I usually do two, maybe three. “You need to feel like you can’t do it.. practice” he smirks and I swallow thickly.

Once it’s in, I start to get a contraction and I look at him, immediately zoning out and needing to focus properly. “Come on.. this is the time to push” he tells me and my eyes widen. I pull both legs back, which is already uncomfortable, and I push a little but it scares me “babe, no, I can’t.. deflate it” I demand and he shakes his head “you need to push” he says dead pan and I start to panic, I get on my knees and look at him as I push again, cupping myself as I try to get it out. “Come out!” I groan, the contraction is not helping as I pant and wriggle through the pain. “Babe! Get it out!” I panic and he smooths my belly “it’s okay, you can do it”

“You don’t-“ I cry before pushing a finger around it “you don’t understand, I can’t get it out!” I sob and start to grunt, pushing as hard as I can. “Get it out! Get it out!” I scream “Purple! Charles, purple!!” I scream. Our codeword. “Fuck- fuck baby, I.. hold on” he says as he deflates it, pulling it out and tossing it aside, holding me and pulling me into him “baby, babe I’m so sorry, I thought-“ he starts and I shake my head “it hurt too much” I cry and just sob into him. He holds me, rocking me gently until I fall asleep. I need sleep so bad and he knows that.

I wake up about 3/4 hours later with an excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. “Mmm.. Charlie..” I grumble and rub my belly “Charlie?!” I shout seeing he’s not there. I immediately fall into a birthing breathing pattern, slowly trying to get on top of the pain until I feel a stabbing down below. “Unghh” I groan and reach to hold it “babe?!” I shout before starting to whimper through the pain. “Okay, I’m here, I’m here.. easy, babe, easy” he coaches me and I bite my lip, opening my legs again.

“Okay, we need to break these waters” he sighs and I nod, still working hard through the contraction. I’m opening up already, whether it’s just swelling or the baby, I don’t know. He pushes two fingers inside me and then nods “you’re so close” he smiles “about an eight, but we need to do this” he says softly as he puts on some gloves and a mask. “Ms Lovell” he winks and I laugh a little, the pain wearing down. “I’m just going to feel around and try to break your waters” he smirks.

“Yes doctor” I nod and lay back a little, watching him. The baby is filling me, it’s so hard but he has to have his fun. With in seconds the next contraction arrives, they are on top of eachother. “I need to hold your hand” I grumble and reach out feeling for him. He keeps his fingers inside me and then gives me his other hand. I feel his thumb on my clit, it’s all so much. “Nghh” I grunt “ahh! Baby!” I cry out as he starts to rub my clit so fast that it hurts “p-please!” I ask before he dives in and starts to suck on it “f-fuck” I mutter, the pain, the pleasure.

He starts to finger fuck me as he does all this and I just shake my head holding onto the pillow “Charlie!” I shout “Charlie! Charlie, Charlie!” I scream, partly in pain, mostly in pleasure. That’s when I feel it, the bag of waters explode inside me and flush out. I grip my thigh tightly and look to Charles “fucking hell” I mutter as I look down at the puddle in between my thighs.

[hobbitsnapes]

YOU GUYS ARE DATING

Corpse x MGK!sister reader

(Found this image on Pinterest so all credit goes to artist, if you know who it is please comment below so I can credit them)

A/N: this was requested by @heyitssab

Tree is tall of sex in this, but it’s more in a joking matter, plus corpse has stated he doesn’t mind as long as you are not a minor or send or tag him. I’m literally 2 years younger than him, and have no intentions of ever tagging him or sending him any of my work XD

Summary: how many idiots does it take to tell the brother and friend they’re dating? Apparently takes 2 very forgetful people, who kept their relationship secret without knowing it.

It had just been by chance, a small chance that he had been scrolling through his tags. liking and reposting art, when he saw a tag from someone he followed. He wrecked his brain for when he had followed her, coming up empty. She was cute, no denying the beauty she had as she laughed in the video. It was a clip from a stream that he didn’t know she had, as he couldn’t even remember her name, wearing his merch as it fit her snug. It fit her perfectly in fact, the large hood covering her face, hiding the flush to her face from her rather large chuckles that left her body. He couldn’t help but like the photo, and he couldn’t help but to press message either.

It was first only small likes to posts, an Occasional message, and a view on their livestreams, but that all changed when he spoke of the song he was working on with her older brother.

It all started that night, when both lay in their beds as they talked, laughed, and felt their hearts flutter each time they heard one another speak.

Her phone rang violently in her bag, nearly making her drop the to go bag all over the ground as she walked. “Hello?” She asked, as she held both bags with her hands as her shoulder gripped the phone as if it’d fall down a cliff. “Hey bug!” He exclaimed, making her chuckle as she heard the booming sound of his voice. She had always detested the nickname, as he gave it to her as kids due to her horrendous fear of the creatures. But, it brought more joy to her, as it reminded her of their youth. Having been adults for years, it was fun to hear such a childish name that’s stuck.

“Hey mopey.” She chuckled, as that was the name she gave him when he was in his emo phase that he never outgrew.

Both talked as she walked towards the elevator, mainly about how his day had gone as she silently listened.

She had always been this way, always the shyer of the two, the one to listen to others first before she said a word. He had teased her for it most of their childhood and teen life, but he had grown to love it, as he could let loose or rant to her about anything, and he knew she’d be there just to listen to him.

“So what’re you doing right now?” He asked, as she got into the elevator. “Just grabbed some dinner a few minutes before you called and nearly made me shit.” A smile painted on her face at his boisterous laughter.

“Are you at home?” He asked, as he heard the sound of the elevator beeping in the background. “No, I’m spending the night with my boyfriend.”

She had mentioned about a month prior that she was seeing someone, the joy it brought him to hear the excitement and joy in her tone as she gushed about their first date.

If this was 7 or 8 years prior, he would be bombarding her with questions about the man, who he was, where he lived, where he could meet him to find his intentions with his baby sister. But, in the last few years, he found himself feeling calmer whenever she’d mentioned her love life. He knew she was smart, and would never date a man who treated her poorly. The few breakups she had, they always ended amicably, her head still high as she told him. So, he never asked her any questions about the man, as he could tell from the few times she mentioned him, he could feel the love this man had for her, and Vice versa.

The strong barreling of her phone alerted them awake, both groaning out as she reached for her phone without lifting her head from his shoulder. “Hello?” She mumbled, voice slurred as the saliva was thick in her mouth, barely awake as she fought to listen in on who dares to wake them up.

“Hey!” He exclaimed, making her equally exhausted lover groan. She shifted off of him, laying on her back as he turned away from her, as to hopefully shut his eyes and fall back asleep. She was used to her brother's large voice, as it hardly phased her after growing up with him. “Colson, why are you calling me this ungodly hour?” “Oh come on, it’s not that early.” “Col its-“ She pulled her phone from her ear, eyes shutting violently as the bright light blinded her “5 o’clock in the morning. So again, I’m going to ask you, why did you call me at the asscrack of dawn?” “You don’t remember?” He asked, making her irritation grow. “No, that’s why I’m asking.” She says, as she rubbed her sleep crusted eyes. “You were coming up today to hang out with casie, remember?” Her hand stopped rubbing her face, as she felt her heart stop momentarily. “Wait, you mean today? I thought I was coming Friday?” “No, both of you settled on today, remember I told you that’s perfect because I have a day off?” She felt her heart pain as she heard the sadness in his tone, knowing he’s expecting her to bail. “Yeah sorry, I thought you meant Friday so I mixed it up, let me get ready and I’ll be out the door okay? Love you” she said, as she hung up the line.

Before she could even move, she felt his arm wrap around her body. A tired groan leaving his lips. “Nooo stayyyy.” He groaned, pulling her body to his. She smiled as she looked down at him, wrapping her arm on his chest and the other behind his neck. “I wish I could live, but I can’t.” Planting a soft kiss against his lips. “Stay in bed for a few more hours, please?” Her heart pulled at his tone, hearing just how tired he was. “I can’t, casies wanted me to come up for weeks now. And it takes a good 3 hours to get there. I wanna spend as much time as I can with them before it gets dark so I can get back safely.” He groaned at this, wrapping his arms around her. “Yeah but it’s only 5, it wouldn’t be safe to drive since we went to bed like, 2 hours ago.” “Yeah, and whos fault was that mister?” She teased, “hmm, sorry but I just couldn’t keep my hands to myself after not seeing you for a few days.” He mused, pulling her body closer to his, planting his lips against hers. A small hum left her lips as he pulled her thigh over his, grabbing the flesh harshly as their lips cascaded together. “Mm, no no no, you’re not gonna convince me to stay here just to go another round.” She said, as she got off from his warm body, throwing his large hoodie over her bare body. “Oh come on babe, are you sure about that?” He said, making her turn around to him. A small gasp left her lips as her eyes took in his milky white complexion. His honey brown eyes looking back at her with a small smile etched onto his face. His hair a tousled mess that resembled a bird's nest, some pieces falling onto his face. “Honey, I’ve been wanting to see my family for weeks now, I see you almost everyday and practically live here. I’ll be back tomorrow so I can grab more clothes from my place okay?” She placed a kiss to his lips, both holding one another in their arms. “I don’t know why you don’t just say fuck that place and just move in.” He mumbled, making her chuckle and heart warm. “Don't you think it’s a little soon though? I mean we’ve only been together a few months love.” “Yeah, but you’ve practically lived here since we got together, you literally just go there to get more clothes that you end up leaving here.” She looked into his eyes as she thought about his words. “Hm, I’ll think about it today okay?” She mused, planting a kiss to his lips. A soft okay leaving him as she got up.

“And babe, remember if you live here, we can have all the sex we want and not have to worry about driving to get one another.” He exclaimed, laughing at the loud honey she screamed from the bathroom.

She couldn’t help but laugh out as she watched, as her niece tried her hardest to braid her fathers grown out hair. It was near impossible not to, as pieces would fall out, resulting in her pulling them harsher, nearly pulling his eyelids back due to the tension from his temples. “Okay okay you’re gonna fuckin scalp me.” He chuckled , as all three bursted out in large laughter.

“So how’s school going this year?” She asked her, as she delicately painted her nails. Both of the girls had found themselves on the floor in front of the nice coffee table, as colson sat and chatted with them. “It’s going really well.” “Oh yeah? Make any new friends?” She teased. “I mean, kinda.” She couldn’t help but hear the wavering in her tone, spotting the faint blush dusting her skin. “Ohh, so there’s a someone eh?” She teased to her, making the preteen hide her face as to conceal the flush. “His names Garrett, and we both take social studies together. He always sits next to me at lunch, and we’ll draw on my notebook.” She gushed, making her smile. “Soo, do you think he likes you?” “I mean, that’s what everyone keeps saying.” “Yeah well don’t worry about it to much cas, you’re not dating anyone for many more years. You’re still a kid.” Her das said, making the young girls face fall.

Y/N knew he was only saying this to protect her, as he said the same thing to her growing up. “Hey, don’t be bummed out about it. He is right, you both are only 12 and should focus on school. But don’t worry, he’ll come around. He was just like that with me up until my current boyfriend.” She whispered, making the young girl chuckle.

“Speaking of which, how are you guys doing?” He asked, as she hadn’t mentioned hun to her in a while. He didn’t think it’d hurt to ask. “Great actually, we’re thinking of moving in together actually.” “That’s great! I’m really happy that y’all met.” “Yeah, I am too.” She hummed, a flush dusting her cheeks.

Both men laughed as they chatted on the phone, talking about anything that would come to mind. What was once only a collaboration for a song, turned into an amazing friendship that caused both of them to call at late hours just to shoot the shit.

A yawn left his lips, as he listened to colson ramble on about another song he was making. “Woah, you tired man?” Colson asked, shocked to hear the sound. “Yeah sorry, was up most of the night last night.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Were you feeling alright?” He asked, worry laced in his tone. He knew all about his friends illnesses, even once being on the other end of the phone during a bad spell one day.” “Oh yeah yeah yeah, was just, up with the misses last night.” He chuckled, a flush blooming on his cheeks. “Ohhh yeah? And how was it?” This shocked him, nearly feeling his heart stop. Like, does he usually know about his sisters sex life? He didn’t think much of it, as he knew just how close both were. “It was absolutely fucking amazing. Like I thought we’d be done for the night, fully tapped out but after like 5 minutes she’d be right back on me for another round.” He chuckled, his flush even worse than before. “Ayyyeee good for you corpse, glad to hear that puss is bussin.” He laughed at this, throwing his head back. “Yeah, it’s bussin bussin.”

Both men talk as they read from their phones, eyes wide in absolute awe of the love they received from the song. They had just dropped it a few days prior, not expecting the cry of joy from both fan bases.

He didn’t even look up from it when she walked in, until she bent down to plant a kiss to his forehead. “Sorry I had completely forgot about the tea I made you an hour ago, but I put it back on the stove to heat it up so if it’s twisting funky just tell me okay?” Before he could even thank her, both their heads whipped towards the loudness from the other line. “Y/N? Is that you? What in the hell are you doing there with corpse!” He didn’t sound angry, more shocked than anything, both of them looking at the phone in confusion. “I, I love here? Remember I told you like a month ago I was moving in with him?” “WHAT!” Both jumped at the loud scream. “Wait so you guys are dating!?” Both we’re even more perplexed, until it dawned on both of them. Their eyes wide as they turned their heads to one another slowly. “Wait you didn’t tell him?” “No? He’s one of your best friends so I thought you did!” “He’s your brother! So I thought you did!” Both whisper, until all three lay silent. That was until, the large cry of laughter that leaves the two, leaving colson even more confused. He wasn’t mad, not at all actually. More shocked and confused than anything. Until he started thinking, it does make sense, all the times they spoke about one another without him knowing, all the times they mentioned-“OH GOD!” He yelled, gagging violently, making them stop their laughing fit. “What's wrong? Why are you yelling?” She asks “like a month ago corpse was talking about how he was tired cause he was up all night having sex AND I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU! OH GOD WAS THAT WHY YOU WERE LIMPING THAT DAY WITH CAS AND I!” Both laugh even harder, as they listen to his ever growing gags.

“So yeah,. That’s literally how we had no idea we were keeping the relationship secret from her brother.” He laughed, as he red the comments and listened to his friends' laughter. She sat beside him, head laying on his shoulder as he told the story. She couldn’t help but to look back up into his eyes, as he glanced down at her, planting a soft kiss to her lips. “Keep it pg guys.” Colson said from the other line, making them chuckle.

[mydogisveryadorbs]

bad day | jj maybank x reader

summary: jj has a bad day and he just wants to be with you

warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of abuse, sad jj, fluffy ending (ofc)

masterlist :)

(gif credit to the owner)

3.5k+ words

✰⋆✰⋆✰⋆✰

To the outside world, JJ Maybank has a perfect life. He has the best group of friends, he parties all the time, he has all the freedom in the world, and most importantly, he has you.

To the outside world, it is practically impossible for JJ Maybank to have a bad day. How can you have a bad day when you have a perfect life?

The only person in the world that knew that bad days are actually a common occurrence in JJ’s life, was you.

When the two of you had first started dating over a year ago, you too had believed that JJ’s life was perfect. His outgoing personality and carefree nature were what initially attracted him to you and he fought hard to maintain that persona. It wasn't until three months into your relationship that you realized that the blonde boy had it so much harder than you could've possibly imagined.

Truth be told, JJ didn't open up to you on purpose. In fact, if he had it his way, you would have never had to see him break down the way that he did.

You didn't know what to do when you first found your boyfriend laying on the bathroom floor in the Chateau, body shaking with sobs. At first, you thought he had been in another rough quarrel with Rafe and his friends. But when he looked up at you, tear stains on his cheeks and the saddest eyes you had ever seen, you knew this wasn't just some run-in with a couple of kooks.

It didn't take long for you to get over your original state of shock and comfort the boy. Your younger sister had bad anxiety and experienced panic attacks often, and still, you found yourself on the less prepared side when it came to soothing the blonde you adored so much. It was hard for you to understand that the tough, wild, teenager that you had fallen in love with was simply a cover for the fragile boy inside.

You can still vividly remember sitting on the bathroom floor for hours with JJ. Despite your unfamiliarity with your boyfriend’s suffering, there was not one second that you had even remotely questioned your love for him. If anything, seeing him in such a vulnerable state made your appreciation for him grow.

JJ himself, on the other hand, did not know how to accept the comfort you had given him. He was so used to being alone every time he was feeling down. So used to hiding all of his emotions from the people around him. 

The two of you went through many difficult nights of him pushing you away and trying to block you out. But just as fast as he was building up his wall, you were tearing it down.

JJ doesn't know the exact moment when he allowed himself to succumb to your solace. Still to this day, it's hard for him to believe that someone as beautiful and compassionate as you can possibly love someone like him.

The more he let you in, the harder it was to be without you and now, whenever he had a run-in with his father or was unsure of himself, his first impulse was to call you.

You never hesitated to comfort the boy, knowing that he would do the same for you. And as much as you tried to stay strong for JJ, sometimes everything got to be a little bit too much. 

JJ will never forget the day you were holding him after a fight with his father and you couldn't hold it in anymore. You let out heart-wrenching sobs into his hair. The sound alone brought tears to his own eyes and the two of you held each other all night, whispering sweet nothing to one another.

JJ is having a bad day.

He should have known when he woke up this morning and you weren't in his arms. He glanced over, immediately recognizing your small handwriting on a blue sticky note which was stuck to your pillow. The note explained that your parents had asked you to come home, but that you would come back to the chateau to be with him that night.

have a great day and don't miss me too much lovie!

His heart fluttered at your sweet words. How did he get so god damn lucky? Popping open his phone case, JJ folds your note and sticks it inside, just in case he needs to read it again later.

Despite the loving feeling he got in his chest while reading your note, his day quickly went downhill.

When JJ opened the cabinets above the sink to make himself a bowl of cereal, they were empty. He brushed it off and went to work with an empty stomach.

At the hotel, a group of kids bumped into him while he was clearing a table and he dropped a wine glass on the floor, shattering it. His boss chewed him out for 30 minutes before putting him on dish duty for the rest of his shift.

After work, JJ went to the local market and used his tip money from the day to buy a sandwich and a small bouquet of your favorite flowers for you. He knew you would make a big fuss about him spending his money on you, but he loved to see the cute look of surprise on your face whenever he got you something like this. It made whatever he had gotten for you worth every penny.

On his way back to the Chateau, JJ was stopped by none other than Rafe, Topper, and Kelse on their bikes. He tried his best to ignore them, knowing that you hated when he got into fights, but as soon as Rafe mentioned a snide comment about your ass, JJ immediately threw the first punch. He didn't realize until after the fact that one of them had stomped on the flowers he bought for you.

As much as he hated it, the blonde boy knew he needed to go home to get a fresh pair of clothes. He could always ask you to get a pair from the drawer of his clothes you had in your room, but that would require telling you what had happened and he didn't want to be a bother while you were with your family.

He knew he was screwed when he arrived at his “house” and saw his father's truck parked in the dirt outside. JJ hoped that he would be able to slip by without being noticed, but his horrible luck from the day continued.

His father was in the stage of his drinking where he was drunk enough to be angry with his son, but not drunk enough for JJ to outrun him.

JJ’s cheek throbbed on his walk back to the Chateau and he was sure that he was sporting a fresh black eye. His ribs were sore as hell and the only thing that kept him moving was the thought of seeing you.

When he arrived at John B’s house he instantly took note of your missing car. He prayed that you had simply walked and that he would see you laying on the couch when he entered.

There was someone sitting on the couch, but it was not the person JJ was looking for.

“Dude,” John B said when he noticed JJ’s figure standing in the doorway. “What happened to your face?”

“Where's (Y/N),” the blonde asked, ignoring John’s question.

“She called and said she wasn't sure if she would make it,” Kie said, drawing JJ’s attention to where she was standing. “Her friend Carlee’s boyfriend cheated on her, so she went to comfort her. She said she tried to call you, but it went straight to voicemail,” the curly-haired girl explained.

Glancing down at his phone, JJ noticed it was dead. His shoulders slumped. All he wanted was to see his girl after a shit day, was that too much to ask? He knew first hand your dedication to your loved ones, and he knew it wasn't fair of him to want all of your comfort and love for himself, but he couldn't help it.

You were too nice, he decided. But that's why he loved you so much, wasn't it?

“So what happened to your face,” John B asked again, taking a sip of his beer.

JJ glowered at his best friend. “What do you care,” he snapped. He knew he shouldn't take his frustrations out on John B, but you were his coping method and he didn't know what to do without that.

John B raised his hands in defense, standing up to grab another beer. “Jeez, dude,” he said, “Just asking.”

“Well maybe you should mind your own goddamn business,” JJ yelled.

The brunette boy halted his actions and turned to face JJ. “What the fuck, man?” he asked, voice rising. “You really want to do this.”

“Yeah, I do.” He definitely didn't. “You know,” JJ snapped, “Maybe if you spent time with your actual friends instead of your fucking kook girlfriend, you would know what was going on in my life.”

John B scoffed “That's rich coming from the guy who spends every waking moment trying to impress a girl who's way out of his league,” he yells.

JJ knows he's right. You were too good for him. But you chose him anyway. Why?

“Fuck you,” JJ sneers, shoving past his best friend and walking out the back doors. He needed space.

You were getting ready to leave your friend's house when Kiara called you. 

Carlee was a sweet girl, and her douche of a boyfriend definitely didn't deserve her so you told her exactly that. But this wasn't the first time something like that had happened between them and based on previous occurrences, you figured Carlee would go a week before she decided to get back together with him.

It was times like these where you really thanked your lucky stars that you had found a boy like JJ. The two of you had your moments like any healthy couple, but you knew in your heart that he would never do anything to purposely hurt you.

You smiled when you saw Kie’s contact. “Hey girl,” you answer in a country accent, giggling at the end.

“(Y/N),” she said and your smile dropped, immediately understanding that there was something wrong. “You need to come to the Chateau right now.”

Your feet skid to a stop and you feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. “What happened? Is JJ okay?” you ask her in a rushed tone.

Kie’s voice is shaky when she speaks. “He came over today with a black eye and a bruised cheek and when John B asked about it JJ kind of freaked out,” she explains. “They are screaming at each other right now. (Y/N), you gotta come quick,” you could hear yelling in the background.

“I'm on my way,” you assure her, hanging up. You run to your car, heart twisting in worry. It wasn't like your boyfriend to act like this so you knew something had to have happened.

You drove to the Chateau faster than you ever have before, getting there in under five minutes. The second your car pulled up to the house. You were flying out of your car and running inside the screen door.

“He's outback,” John B says upon seeing you enter.

Your eyes snap to him and they soften at the sight of his distraught face. “You alright, JB?” you ask.

He nods slowly. “I've never seen him like that, (Y/N),” John B tells you, his voice laced with worry. “You gotta help him.”

You nod your head, walking outside to find your boyfriend. You don't have to go far, spotting his hunched over the figure on the porch steps.

Slowly, you make your way towards the boy, and despite the fact that it's the middle of summer he is shivering violently.

You place a hand on his shoulder and he immediately flinches away from your touch. Your heart breaks at his reaction. “JJ, love, it's me,” you tell him softly, crouching down next to his body.

Hearing your voice, JJ lifts his head to look at you. His eyes are red-rimmed and filled with tears and the skin around the right one is hidden by blue and purple. Your eyes scan his face and you take note of the bruise on his cheekbone and his split lip. Your hands itch to remove his shirt, knowing that there are more hidden underneath.

The sound of JJ’s choked sob brings your eyes instantly back to his. 

“Oh, J,” you say sorrowfully, opening your arms for him. “C’mere.”

The blonde boy instantly falls into your embrace and you cradle his body tightly. He sobs into your shoulder and you feel a wet patch grow in your shirt. “I needed you, I need you,” he cries into your shoulder.

Softly shushing him, you run your fingers through his hair. “I'm here, J, I'm here,” you tell him, your heart aching for the boy in your arms. You don't know exactly how long you sit there, his hands clutching the back of your shirt tightly.

Slowly, his sobs die down before he is only sniffling every few seconds.

You pull back slightly, tenderly cupping his face in your hands. “Can we go inside?” you ask, gently brushing back the blonde curl that had fallen over his forehead.

JJ nods slightly and you stand up on the porch, helping him do the same. You bite your lip when you notice his subtle limp on the way inside. You notice how quiet the Chateau is and silently thank John B and Kiara for giving JJ the space he needs.

 Leading him into the bathroom, you help JJ sit on the counter and you quickly grab the first aid kit from the cabinet below the sink.

Opening it, you grab a cotton swab and an alcohol wipe to clean his lip and cheek, wordlessly realizing how many times you've had to do this.

“Why are you here,” the blonde boy asks abruptly. If you weren't paying attention you would have missed his small voice.

“What'd you mean, J?” you ask, continuing your work.

JJ sighs. “Why are you here?” he asks again, slightly louder, but still quieter than you are used too.

“Well, I was leaving Carlee’s house and Kie called me and told me that you-” JJ cuts you off, pulling away from your grasp slightly.

“No, (Y/N),” his tone is harsh but you can hear the brokenness laced behind it. “Why are you here? With me instead of with your friends? Or better yet another guy that can buy you nice things and doesn't have emotional trauma? A guy who's not broken?” he says the word with such hatred that it shakes you to your core.

“JJ,” you gasp, hurt flashing across your features. How could he think that? JJ instantly wants to take it back, but he wants even more to know your answer. “You are not broken, you hear me?” you say, honesty clear in your voice. “Your flaws are what make you, you. I don't need fancy gifts or expensive jewelry to make me love you! I love every single thing about you, JJ Maybank. From your head to your toes. I love you just the way that you are and there is nothing you can do to take that away from me. Ever.” Your voice is strong and serious. You leave no room for argument as you continue to patch up his face.

JJ doesn't speak again letting the words sink in, scared that he will break down for the second time that night. His eyes fall to the floor and he lets you tend to his cuts.

When you are satisfied with your work on his face, you tap the boy's arm lightly and his eyes snap to yours. “Lift your shirt so I can see,” you ask him, not making eye contact. When he doesn't move, your eyes lock with his. “Please, J,” you beg, in a quiet voice, “I need to see.”

The blonde knows he will never be able to say no to you, especially when you ask him that way, so he gingerly lifts his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side and wincing when he moves the wrong way.

JJ expects you to pity him. To tell him you're sorry the way everyone does. But you simply stare at his injuries, eyes welling with tears. And this, JJ decides, makes him feel infinitely worse.

Your hand reaches out to trace the large, purple-black bruises. JJ shivers at the touch of your soft hands on his skin.

He grabs your hand suddenly, pulling it up to his lips. “I'm sorry,” he says, voice cracking. “I'm sorry I dragged you into this.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” you say, using the hand not in JJ’s to run through his hair. “None of that, okay? I'm here because I want to be. And I will always be. No matter how many times you try to push me away.”

You feel hot tears on your hand and you quickly slide between his legs, pulling him back into your chest, careful of the bruises on his ribs.

“I love you,” JJ cries into the crook of your neck. “I love you more than anything else in this fucked up world.”

“Shh,” you say softly. “I know, lovie, I know. I love you too. Endlessly.”

JJ pulls back at your words, just enough so that he can look into your eyes.

You used to think your favorite color was purple. When you were ten you painted your entire room purple and even bought purple bedding. But the moment you looked into JJ’s cerulean eyes, it instantly became your new favorite color.

JJ looks from your eyes to your lips before leaning forward to kiss you.

The kiss was soft and passionate explaining every emotion the two of you were feeling. No matter how many times the two of you kissed, your heart raced like it was the very first time. 

Pulling away for air, JJ rests his forehead on yours. 

“What happened today, J?” you ask in a quiet voice. 

JJ bites his lip, leaning back slightly. His first instinct is to tell you that nothing happened and that he's okay, but JJ knows you wouldn't believe him for a second. So he recalls his day, telling you every detail. Just knowing that you know, makes JJ’s heart feel a little less heavy. “A-and I bought you these flowers from the florist on main, y-y'know the ones you love, and I couldn't even bring them to you,” he says sadly.

You caress his cheek. “Love, I don't care about the flowers, all that matters is that you're okay,” you assure him, honesty evident in his voice. “And as for your father, you are staying here or at my house from now on and the next time I see that son of a bi-”

JJ cuts you off, grabbing your hands. The last thing he ever wants is his father hurting you. “(Y/N), no,” he says, the vulnerability in his voice evident. “You need to promise me that you won't confront him. I don't want you getting hurt.”

You sigh, knowing how important this is to the blonde boy. “Only if you promise not to go back there unless I'm with you,” you compromise with him.

He nods, kissing your forehead gently. “Can we please go to bed,” JJ asks and you can hear the sleepiness in his voice. Nodding, you help JJ off the counter and the two of you walk to the spare room in the chateau. The two of you climb into the bed. You are still in your clothes from the day, but that is the last thing on your mind.

JJ moves his arms to wrap around your middle but you gently push his shoulder back. “Turn around, J,” you tell him quietly. You know that JJ secretly loves to be the little spoon and you secretly love to be the big spoon. He would never openly ask you to spoon him, but you can read his body language like a book.

He rolls to his other side and you wrap an arm around his bare middle, careful not to hit any of his bruises. You nuzzle your nose into the back of his tanned shoulder, breathing in his scent deeply.

“I love you (Y/N)” your boyfriend whispers, his hand reaching to hold your hand that is tracing his chest. “Thank you for being here.”

You press a soft kiss to his shoulder blade. “Always, JJ,” you tell him earnestly. “I love you more than anything.”

The blonde boy falls asleep in your embrace, feeling truly safe for the first time that day.

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masterlist :)