#though i will say i liked the rep of queerness and real bodies

[notsp1derman]

a displeased review of the house in the cerulean sea, by tj klune

[may contain spoilers]

First of all, let me tell you all my experience with this book. I saw a bunch of people talking about it, recommending a sweet queer-found-family-cozy-fantasy comfort book, saying how this was one of the best reads of the year. This book was HUGE on tiktok and other platforms, and even as of today it still has 4,4 stars on goodreads.

So after a bit of stalling, when I next wanted a comforting read, I picked up the house in the cerulean sea, and I wasn't nearly as impressed. The writing was exaggerated to the point that every character felt like a charicature defined by a one or two traits: the Plain and Normal main character; the Intolerant and Bitter boss; even the CEOs were called only Extremely Upper Management lmao

So I thought "okay, so this is some sort of satyre right?" nope. It's just a normal YA fantasy book that desperately wants you to think it's cute and funny. The author wanted to write witty dialogue so much that every character has the same personality; everyone sounds like a snotty 13 year old really proud of the "sick burns" they deliver; everyone, even the children (half of whom are also so sarcastic, of course), uses every possible opportunity to embarass and shame the protagonist.

Which, by the way, I was already getting annoyed by. He was never pathetic by his appearance or way of living, as all the characters tried to express by their dialogue, but his trait of being so emphatetic for a second just to be painfully ignorant of the power of is actions the next get on my nerves SO FUCKING MUCH. Linus Baker's knack for saying "this isn't my jurisdiction, I only have a small, simple job" clashes so hard with the author constantly telling us how we should like him because "he's good with children and also responsible!!", which just makes him seem an average white man unable to see his privilege.

And all of this could be simply averted if Klune just made Linus a very innocent man, who was told a lie by DICOMY that all the kids from the orphanages he closed down were in better places, or even adopted. This would even make his development a lot more sympathetic, because he would suddenly discover everything he believed was a lie. But no. Linus does know, from the way he feels guilty or changes the subject or gives excuses for DICOMY the second someone questions it. How could I root for him when he just chooses to ignore what he doesn't want to acknowledge and with the author trying so hard to paint him as an inoccuous man?

Clearly, I wasn't really finding the house in the cerulean sea neither comforting nor well written. So, after almost a 1/3 of the book, I went into goodreads to see if there were other people disliking the book as well, or if I was just the biggest and bitterest asshole on the planet. And then I found out about the Sixties Scoop.

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that a white man really got inspiration from a terrible situation that brought a lot of pain and trauma, sterilized and made it cutesy and admitted to it on an interview.

"Let me be up front about something: I’m a white dude. There really isn’t much I should be preaching about. I’m queer, and a loud one at that, but the marginalization I’ve faced because of this isn’t to be compared to others facing bigotry. It’s not a contest. It sucks across the board, but I’m a mid-thirties cis man in America. I’m privileged in ways others are not. I know this, so when I wrote Cerulean, I knew I had to do so carefully, to make sure that what I’d decided on to be the central theme of the story wouldn’t be lost."

I'll not jump to conclusions, he really does seem to have had good intentions, but despite all of that, sometimes it still isn't a good idea to follow. I'm a white person myself, but I've seen a lot of the struggles of the indigenous people of my country even near my home, so I get the indignation against a government that never does shit and the want to help as much as we can, specially because of our privilege. But telling the story of a minority group from a point of view you will never have just does more harm than good, even more so when the apparent moral of the story is "oh well, the problem isn't the organization at all, just a bunch of people in a room, so we just have to wait for some dude to get tired of it all and change things"

I'll try to be less bitter, alright? I get the existence of books that focus more on found families, queer happiness and comforting emotions than something more realistic. We all need to hope that things can be better and easier, so I'm not hating on the genre or anything. But it angered me to read how easy it was to change bigotry just with "the power of talking and morals!!1!", specially when the inspiration was a real life event that we KNOW wasn't just solved with some words and a pat on the back. I'll hand to Klune that things weren't exactly solved at the end of the book, and systemic discrimination and oppression still existed, but something about the solutions and the tone of the book just didn't seat right with me.

All in all, I think the main problem was just that things didn't fit well together. A hopeful but realistic story inspired by a real event that talked about disrupting the organization and stripping down positions of power of bigot people maybe would work, but that's too much pain and delicate themes to fit into a "clean and cute" comfort book. I also thought the moral a bit too simple and black-on-white for a YA book, but as long as it makes people more kind and understanding, I can't truly hate it.

I still don't hate the millions of people who loved this book, and I also don't hate the author. But I can't in good conscience agree that it was a good idea to do or a book well written at all. Sometimes we have to use our privilege not to tell the story of others, but to force an opening and have them tell their story themselves, from their perspective. Also, I hope he is donating at least a bit of the huge profit he made with sellings to organizations related to the cause he chose to speak about in the first place.

edit: I would like to say that after posting this I've seen more people talk about the problematic stuff online, and make better points in a clearer way than me. So this is just to say that this is definitely NOT a super hot take I had. There are a lot of people more qualified to talk about this subject than me. It's always nice to research different opinions!

★ ☆̸ ☆ ☆ ☆

[absolutebl]

BL recs (from any country) that don't have any s*x scenes? I'm too ace to enjoy them at all. Happy ending preferred, angst v welcome:)

BLs Without Sex Scenes

Oof, this is a hard one. Is a dead fish kiss okay? I do have a heat sorting on the spreadsheet of doom, and there are some with no kissing at all, but a dead fish kiss is in most of the HEA ones.

BLs with No Kisses

21 Days Theory (Thailand, YouTube) - the only thing I didn't like about this pulp was the fact that they don't kiss, so... yeah, this is my first pick for you. Very YA first love angsty, fantastic queer rep and side characters. RECOMMENDED

My Esports Genius Brother (China, Gaga?) - it's hella odd censored bromance but enjoyable. No real angst tho.

HIStory My Hero (Taiwan, Viki) - basically a BL with no sex or kissing, but also body-swap so is it BL? I can't remember the end but I think it's happy?

Silhouette of Your Voice AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan, ????) - this 2017 yaoi adaptation is a full on BL just no kissing at all. The source manga (I Hear the Sunspot) is a favorite of mine and the casting was decent. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED for you (but not in general). Grey only.

Love of Siam (Thailand, ????) ALL THE ANGST, I'm pretty sure the most they do is hug, I could be v wrong though because too sad for me to ever rewatch. Very formative to the Thai BL industry.

The Lover (BL cut) (Korea ????) sometimes you can find the BL cut on YT, it has slapstick comedic sexualized moments that are maybe a little homophobic (or something), no actual sex or kissing, but no angst at all. (Korea's working some shizz out with this early offering.)

Kabe Koji AKA Kabesaa Doujin Sakka no Neko Yashiki-kun wa Shounin Yokkyuu wo Kojirasete iru (Japan, Viki) - I watched this and I was excited about it before it aired, but I seem to have expunged it from my memory and kept no screen caps in annoyance, so that's all I got.

Love in Spring AKA Spring of Crush (Korea, ????) - a crossdressing historical that flew utterly under the radar. I decided it just wasn't really BL, but it has BL aspects and it's kinda a little queer... or something. Grey only.

Evening Cafe (Thai pulp, YouTube) - No heat and no kisses, but a decent lead pair, about a boy who works in a cafe and the new employee who has a crush on him. That’s it, that's the whole story.

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea, Viki) - Has no kissing and many people found it really good as @isisanna-blog reminded me, thank you). It certainly has ALL THE ANGST. (I did not like it at all, but I'm a terrible judge of this kind of BL.)

What Did You Eat Yesterday? (Japan ???) - this is such a lovely show, very warm and comforting and slice of life. There is very little angst, they too old for that shit, but little to no sexual content either. It's very warm and loving. A safe extremely yet queer show - and oh boy do we not get many of those. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Censored Bromances

So No Kisses (TM) for the gays but the hets might do stuff I didn't pay attention to. All these from China. Some happy, most not.

The Untamed

Word of Honor

Guardian

SCI Mysteries

Stay With Me AKA Addicted 2.0 (I never watched this so there may be rough play)

Mr CEO Falling in Love With Me

The Fairy Fox

Youth in the Breeze

Precise Shot

Advance Bravely

His Cat AKA His Cat Boyfriend

The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao

The "Ghost Boyfriend" series

Past Youth

I Go To School Not By Bus (Hong Kong short)

Recommended Shorts with no kisses, but cute & fun

The 8.2 Second Rule (Japan YouTube)

One Last Order (Korea, Gaga)

Love Advisor (Thailand, YouTube)

BLs with Dead Fish Kisses (maybe? only one, if any)

His the series: I Didn't Think I Would Fall In Love (Japan ????) - (NOT His the movie) this one has all the angst you could want in your whole life. ALL OF IT. Japan wins at emo, it's their THING.

Cherry Magic AKA 30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii AKA Cheri Maho (Japan ????) - there's sort of some bed tussling and implied sex but you could imagine them just being snuggles for the mains, the sides have dead fish kiss. In general there's some angst but not much. It's fluffy and great. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Bonus: overt ace representation for one of the side characters.

Meow Ears Up (Thailand Viki) - sides may kiss? I enjoyed this pulp especially at the start, the premise is fun. I think my biggest complaint was lack of kissing.

My Love Mix Up AKA Kieta Hatsukoi (Japan Viki), a case could be made for a demi seme in this BL. So much frenetic angst around bisexual identity crisis. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

My Ride (Thailand Gaga) - my favorite Thai BL pulp the sides have a good kiss and the mains do kiss but it's v dead fish, not at all sexual, and it comes at the very end. Otherwise extremely chaste, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this BL, queer and complex and engaging.

I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai (Japan ????) - This is a beautiful piece of cinema well acted, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. The only kiss is the one pictured above, v dead fish. Full review here.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding (Korea WeTV) - 12th Night goes BL in this cross dressing historical that ended up feeling like a Cinderfella fairy tale, lightly dramatic and utterly charming. Full review. There is one dead fishy kiss at the end but it's otherwise aggressively pure.

If you like this last style of KBL (with a kiss at the end being okay, I have quite a few more to recommend). Until 2022, most KBLs only had one dead fish kiss in them, so you are pretty safe with pre 2022 KBLs. They tend to be quite chaste and de-sexualized. Other good examples: Wish You, Light on Me.

That's all folx.

Some of the above I may be misremembering (since I don't rewatch this kind of BL and my memory is shit). And I may have forgotten some too, so I hope comments with jump in.

Others to consider:

(source)

[hauntingofhouses]

Seeing fan discussions about Blue Eye Samurai and especially Mizu's identity is so annoying sometimes. So let me just talk about it real quick.

First off, I have to emphasise that different interpretations of the text are always important when discussing fiction. That's how the whole branch of literary studies came to be, and what literary criticism and analysis is all about: people would each have their own interpretation of what the text is saying, each person applying a different lens or theory through which to approach the text (ie. queer theory, feminist theory, reader response theory, postcolonial theory, etc) when analysing it. And while yes, you can just take everything the authors say as gospel, strictly doing so would leave little room for further analysis and subjective interpretation, and both of these are absolutely necessary when having any meaningful discussion about a piece of media.

With that being said, when discussing Blue Eye Samurai, and Mizu's character in particular, I always see people only ever interpret her through a queer lens. Because when discussing themes of identity, yes, a queer reading can definitely apply, and in Mizu's story, queer themes are definitely present. Mizu has to hide her body and do her best to pass in a cisheteronormative society; she presents as a man 99% of the time and is shown to be more comfortable in men's spaces (sword-fighting) than in female spaces (homemaking). Thus, there's nothing wrong with a queer reading at all. Hell, some queer theorists interpret Jo March from Little Women as transmasc and that's totally valid, because like all analyses, they are subjective and argumentative; you have the choice to agree with an interpretation or you can oppose it and form your own.

To that end, I know many are equally adamant that Mizu is strictly a woman, and that's also also a completely valid reading of the text, and aligns with the canon "Word of God", as the creators' intention was to make her a woman. And certainly, feminist themes in the show are undeniably present and greatly colour the narrative, and Episode 4 & 5 are the clearest demonstrations of this: Mizu's protectiveness of Madame Kaji and her girls, Mizu's trauma after killing Kinuyo, her line to Akemi about how little options women have in life, and the way her husband had scorned her for being more capable than him in battle.

I myself personally fall into the camp of Mizu leaning towards womanhood, so i tend to prefer to use she/her pronouns for her, though I don't think she's strictly a cis woman, so I do still interpret her under the non-binary umbrella. But that's besides my point.

My gripe here, and the thing that spurred me to write this post, is that rarely does this fandom even touch upon the more predominant themes of colonialism and postcolonial identities within the story. So it definitely irks me when people say that the show presenting Mizu being cishet is "boring." While it's completely fine to have your opinion and to want queer rep, a statement like that just feels dismissive of the rest of the representation that the show has to offer. And it's frustrating because I know why this is a prevalent sentiment; because fandom culture is usually very white, so of course a majority of the fandom places greater value on a queer narrative (that aligns only with Western ideas of queerness) over a postcolonial, non-Western narrative.

And that relates to how, I feel, people tend to forget, or perhaps just downplay, that the crux of Mizu's internal conflict and her struggle to survive is due to her being mixed-race.

Because while she can blend in rather seamlessly into male society by binding and dressing in men's clothing and lowering her voice and being the best goddamn swordsman there is, she cannot hide her blue eyes. Even with her glasses, you can still see the colour of her eyes from her side profile, and her glasses are constantly thrown off her face in battle. Her blue eyes are the central point to her marginalisation and Otherness within a hegemonic society. It's why everyone calls her ugly or a monster or a demon or deformed; just because she looks different. She is both white and Japanese but accepted in neither societies. Her deepest hatred of herself stems primarily from this hybridised and alienated identity. It's the whole reason why she's so intent on revenge and started learning the way of the sword in the first place; not to fit in better as a man, but to kill the white men who made her this way. These things are intrinsic to her character and to her arc.

Thus, to refuse to engage with these themes and dismiss the importance of how the representation of her racial Otherness speaks to themes of colonialism and racial oppression just feels tone-deaf to the show's message. Because even if Mizu is a cishet woman in canon, that doesn't make her story any less important, because while you as a white queer person living in the West may feel unrepresented, it is still giving a voice to the stories of people of colour, mixed-race folks, and the myriad of marginalised racial/ethnic/cultural groups in non-Western societies.

[moongothic]

i would love trans crocodile but im very cynical that oda would write him in a respectful manner. thats not even thinking of how horrible that one portion of the one piece fandom would treat him

Yeah the fandom sucks and I'm going to strangle everyone (including the cishets who claim to be trans allies and then use "Crocomom")

But with Oda it's weird because like. The more I think about it, the more I'm like... 50/50 about Oda being able to actually deliver good, respectful trans masc rep.

Like I've posted about this before but One Piece does have this on-going theme of having characters "stuck in wrong bodies" or "having one's body changed" (sometimes reversably, sometimes irreversably; sometimes against their will, sometimes consentually). Which, in theory, in my mind, does kind of signal that on some level Oda understands the idea of being "the wrong sex" (whether or not that's a good way to explain The Trans Experience™ is a whole different subject but it's an old fashioned explanation that Oda would probably be/is familiar with) But at the same time, while the concept pops up again and again in One Piece, Oda doesn't really dwell too deep into the idea of what that's like. Like, emotionally. How it feels like to like, get turned into a toy or be a child who gets aged 20 years or to get turned into a cyborg or a giant child or have parts of your body permanently turned into animal parts (sometimes with a will of their own) etc

And like. Part of me understands why, Oda does tend to want to focus on writing a story he thinks teenaged boys would be interested in reading, and he has often stated he wants to have fun with his story too (like that's partially why Luffy's a Rubber Man, because Oda thought giving Luffy a ridiculous ability would make him more fun to write and draw long-term, which is valid as hell) This is why for example Oda has avoided doing any romances in OP, and while there are dark themes in the story, often he has done his best to avoid making them too blatant, as some things would be too mature for his youngest readers (like, for example until Kuma's backstory, it was never explicitly stated what would happen to the slave wives of the Tenryuubito, even saying it was "implied" would be pushing how that subject had been treated until now)

So like. Because of that, I understand why Oda hasn't dwelled into The Feelings™ part much/at all despite the "stuck in the wrong body" narrative appearing time and time again

Either Oda thinks it'd be too boring either for himself or his readers, or he hasn't dwelled into it because he doesn't really understand gender dysphoria and can't relate to the experience (despite how often it shows its face in OP). Or it could be both, even

The thing is though, as OP has gone on, while I wouldn't say Oda has "broken his writing rules", Kuma's backstory alone has pushed them to a new limit with the love-that-never-was story and the all-but-explicitly-stated storytelling.

So a part of me wonders, if Crocodile is trans, could Oda actually like... take a slightly deeper look into his feelings and explore his queer experience? ('Cause god knows, if Crocodad Real, then there really would be a literal coming out-story built into his backstory that would be extremely unavoidable, and as I've mentioned before, the fact that we haven't gotten to learn almost anything about his backstory yet is Kinda Fucking Sus)

Also I do want to mention how... like Oda gets a lot of bad rap when it comes to queer rep in One Piece, but the more I think about it, I think it's more an issue with the terminology and how translators have gone about either localizing it, or more often than not, leaving it unlocalized 'Cause like. Yes the "okama" would be horrible trans rep but... really... they're not trans representation. They're representation for draq queens. Piss poor draq rep, but still, they're draq queens. And just like our very real life drag performers; some of them are cishets. Some of them are gender non-conforming gay men. Some of them are nonbinary*. Some of them are trans women. Obviously lumping all of these people into one group is kinda offensive (which is why "okama" is (as far as I understand it) such an unpopular term even amongst queer people in Japan), and the way Oda often chooses to draw these characters looks no different to how gender criticals choose to present trans women in their propaganda.

*Like Bon-chan, who explicitly states they are both male and female. And Iva-chan, who switches between boy-mode and girl-mode from time to time, could arguably be called genderfluid (though any specific terminology is up to debate). Both are nonbinary draq queens.

And yet, despite all that. It can not be understated how if you put aside the nameless background gag-characters, Oda does treat the actual, proper queer characters with respect. Everyone would agree that Bon-chan is an absolute hero, we would all die for them. Iva-chan (and Inazuma too) is explicitly presented in a heroic light, seen as someone who helps people and fights for justice (with the Revs)

And then there's the first binary trans characters we've actually gotten, Okiku and Yamato. And I'm pretty sure we would all agree Okiku is 10/10 perfect trans fem representation (I am not entirely serious, I'm not trans fem so I can't speak for trans women here, it's just that I can't see anything Horrendously Wrong with how Okiku is presented within the story- not actually perfect but all things considdered, damn good). She is stunning, people around her (INCLUDING SANJI!!) don't just view her as a woman but would go out of their way to date her (as in, she is seen as "desirable", and not as some kind of a disgusting freak to avoid), she is heroic and sweet and kind and just. IDK I love her And while I'm sure many trans mascs would agree Yamato may not be how they want to be seen by the world (though having Yamato ID as a man while having the biggest moobs is surely validating for a lot of people, including anybody who might not want or be able to get top surgery and/or HRT), again, he is only presented as heroic within the narrative and respected by the characters around him, Luffy especially, which is by far the most important part; the protagonist going out of his way to be respectful of trans characters does represent the values of the story.

And like.

Think about how Oda has treated Crocodile so far.

Like, although we're all having a bit of a laugh over the whole Cross Guild thing, Oda is still treating him as a cool character whom he presents seriously and treats with respect. Like Oda wants the readers to see Crocodile as at least a little bit cool. So I can't imagine him pulling a full 180 with how Croc would be treated in the story if he was revealed to be trans, especially when the potential foreshadowing for that was laid out in the story years ago already.

All this to say; Oda is not perfect at all, but considdering the things he has gotten right so far, I think there is hope he could pull it off. Because Oda is for Queer Liberation.

Really, my only concerns would be whether or not there's a risk Crocodile could get somehow detrans'd during the story (I'm praying the Haki theory isn't an option, really Doc Q might be the only true risk here), if he's stealth and that got presented as "a wrong thing to do" (which I'd hope not, like our previous queer characters have been okay with being openly queer but that may have been more for the readers than anything else. At least, I hope, god knows if Crocodile is and wants to be stealth trans then that's his right and he shouldn't have to out if he doesn't want to, and yeah, I don't want him to be demonized within the narrative for being stealth (if he's stealth, for all we know he could be out)) and like, most importantly, what'd end up being Crocodile's "motivation" for transitioning in the first place

Like. God. I just. I don't want there to be a twist where Crocodile transitioned because "being a woman was weak" or because he "wanted to be acknowledged by Whitebeard" ('cause WB doesn't take women into his crew) or "the scar in his face made him so ugly he decided he should be a man instead" (seen unironic Redditors suggest that. Almost lost my mind) or something

Like I hope someone's at least tried to explain gender dysphoria to Oda. Like the man does have actual queer friends in real life (some of whom inspired characters in OP), so I'm hoping at least someone's tried to explain the feelings that come with The Trans Experience™ to him so that, if Crocodile's trans, then Oda can actually try to base his reasoning to transition on those feelings instead of any stupid "reasons" that no actual queer person would relate to

But it all just boils down to... Is Oda willing to actually dwell into those feelings and explore them in the story.

It... it really could go either way with Oda

So yeah. Anon, I'm with you, I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was at least A Little Worried. But also... I want to be hopeful. Because I do believe there is reason to be hopeful.

Only time will tell how it'll go

[lnkedmyheart]

I like f/m skk ships when done right. Sure transfem is awesome and all, but I as a mostly feminine nb lesbian would like to point out that skk is a FANON gay ship, if your entire ship falls apart if one of them is gender swapped maybe that's a you problem. To me gender doesnt exactly matter outside of exploring themes that are influenced by the visible appearance of a character or silly what if scenarios. It really says something if your argument against people making skk f/m is "it takes away their whole dynamic" or "why are you making them het". Did you know 2 bi people of opposite genders can be in a relationship and still be bi? Do you know gender fluidity exists and some people do use their assigned at birth pronouns interchangeably with neutral ones? Did you know people can and will fetishize trans characters just as much as "het" ones?

A massive chunk of the fem Dazai/ bottom Dazai content I have seen turns him into this whimpering pathetic mockery of subservient poundee. But people want to tell me people only ever make fem chuuya aus cause they wanna fetishize the short long haired hyper masculine dude? Ya'll want me to be cool with people attacking others for having aus where one of them acts or likes to dress feminine? Lord forbid a gay guy like to dress feminine, he is clearly setting the entire LGBT movement back by 70 years right?

Over a fictional non canon ship? A measly 12 m/f out of 20k gay fanfics about a fictional non canon ship will not suddenly come to my door and tell me I no longer have rights as a gay woman. Someone's m/f headcanon is not gonna personally destroy rep for society, nobody is violating your right to exist and consume queer media simply by reading/writing a cis version of a gay ship. A ship btw that isn't even real rep outside of our reading as fans and what subtext there is.

And where is this anger and holier than though behaviour when the same is done to Sigma or Nikolai? They are also long haired men being drawn as women with fetished bodies and in lingerie. Nobody seems to be throwing hissy fits about fem Nikolai's primary personality in fanart being having gigantic knockers and wearing revealing camel toe hugging skintight outfits and everyone and their mother will defend every single sketch of Sigma being drawn as a woman and then turn around to harass, hound and doxx people for daring to do the same to Chuuya.

Gender and sexuality is fluid as fuck but people who come at queer artists and writers for making seemingly cis art or writing m/f aus of ships are imo major red flags.

[dearinglovebot]

Not really a question just wanted to say love your blog a whole lot!!

This may be a weird semi question but is it weird that I find the raptor/handler lady as great mutism/selective mutism/ disabled rep? Like to me what makes her fascinating is how she does not say a word and feels closer to her animals cause for me I feel more close to my animals then anyone else and shut down and go mute sometimes. Like the is cool as a villain because we can’t really read her. I know in general disabled folks are put as the villains but to me she’s not really a villain? Like I’d find her offensive if we didint see more of HER as the show goes on, I see her as like an anti hero, hero of her own story. Idk maybe I’m yapping about nothing but she’s been my fav human Jurassic villain and also a cool representation and it makes her more badass

aweee thank you ❤️❤️

this got long I’m sorry. TLDR; it’s never weird to find characters relatable. it’s beautiful. the handler is my girlfriend who I love dearly but, for me, she’s not someone I consider mutism *representation* quite yet. open to having s2 rock my world with her tragic backstory though

honestly, there’s layers to it in my eyes. it’s like: are flamboyant villains used to mock queerness? yeah. will I still say they served amongst my fellow gays? yes. do I think they’re good representation to the wider public? absolutely not.

i don’t think it’s weird at all to love her and feel kinship in her. i like what we’ve seen of her so far. she’s fascinating in how little we know about her or her motivations. I hope she continues to girlboss her way across the world and strike fear into the hearts of many. and i think a lot of us do tend to closely bond with our animals because they don’t put unrealistic expectations on us. that’s a very realistic aspect of her. my cat is my hashtag best friend 4 life. but I do also think there’s a difference between good representation and interesting characters that we like.

personally, I think the handler is a relatively unoffensive portrayal, but I wouldn’t consider her representation for mutism. for one, I genuinely haven’t heard any talk of them consulting any nonverbal people to respectfully portray her like they did with brooklyn’s limb difference. for two, does she accurately show the experience of mutism? her backstory is going to play into this, but in her current state, I’m meh. most people already assume I’m plotting their downfall because im a non-expressive (autistic) and silent bipoc but she genuinely is trying to kill people so (tbf i wish i could hunt people for sport too sometimes so maybe not THAT inaccurate). I think the strongest thing she has going for her representation wise is that she used body language to comfort the raptors instead of words. that ability to silently communicate with her pack felt real.

how they handle her in s2 might change my opinion, but rn I don’t see her as rep in the same way that, say, yasammy represents me as a lesbian or kenji represents me as a member of a diaspora. love that freaky woman but when I explain what it’s like to be me, I wouldn’t use her as an example is my basic thought process. I’ll never knock other nonverbal people’s thoughts cause we aren’t a monolith but *i* see representation as something made for us. yaz and sammy were handled so lovingly and thoughtfully and THATS what i want representation to mean (<- guy who can’t go 2 seconds without praising yasammy)

I would also like to lightly push back on the idea that verbal shutdowns are the same as mutism, though. being mute means that you speak rarely, if ever, on a constant basis. they’re distinct experiences, though some people (like me lol) will have both! the way I’d describe it is kind of like: verbal shutdowns are temporary breakdowns caused by high emotional stress. but being nonverbal is daily life. it might be physical, mental, or both but it’s not really something that changes without purposeful interventions. the experiences are relatable to each other, but they have their nuances

I DIGRESS! at the end of the day, there’s no authority on representation thought because that defeats the purpose of us all being unique people with our own opinions. if a character makes you feel seen, then that’s beautiful. keep loving them. don’t let anyone tell you it’s weird. our experiences shape how we relate to characters. the good, the bad, and the ugly. hell, you’re talking to the person who soapboxes about autistic claire everyday because I think she acts like one of us. she’s relatable to my experience so I’m gonna claim her all I want every day of the week. that’s the beauty of fiction

I hope this didn’t come off as shaming or superior in any way. I tried to emphasize personal opinion where I could but again I’m autistic. makes me sound more confrontational than intended online. I genuinely do not think it’s weird in any way. I mainly just hope s2 gives the nuance I’m looking for in her portrayal

[velvetvexations]

ferris anon here, incoming long ask: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3rZkGnICFI&t=143s

[Warning: This comment is long, but hopefully, it's as informative as it is critical of the video. I do not intend to be antagonistic, but I am very critical.]

This video is frustrating in soooo many ways. I see all the best intent in this video and I generally agree with the overall outlook that trans women are frequently portrayed poorly in anime (including Re:Zero) and treated poorly by both the Japanese otaku crowd and the non-Japanese transphobic fetishist crowd, but you've hit some stumbles here I think are necessary to touch on. Let me explain by starting with a disclaimer for context:

I'm not Japanese, but I am a professional translator, I've lived in Japan for a major portion of my life, I specialize in Asian studies (and have a background in studying Japanese history and religion, both in Japan and in the US), I'm a trans woman, and I have the pleasure of being friends with individuals in the Japanese queer community. I'm also a fan of Japanese media, definitely anime, and I really enjoy Re:Zero (especially the novels). In fact, I find the series exceptionally well-written and Ferris' character exceptional as well.

I'll start with the center question first and branch from there.

1) Schrodinger's Trans.

It's definitely complicated. Ferris "identifies" themself as a "boy" often in public. The author clearly identifies Ferris as a "boy" in all canon material. But just as you quoted from the first EX novel, Ferris displays signs of gender dysphoria. They call themself a "bishoujo" in the mirror every day when they wake up, and in fact (surprised you failed to mention this), they even specify that they are relieved and grateful for their mother's genes specifically because they don't grow facial or body hair and their face and body curves are feminine. If that wasn't enough, they hid the "boy" secret from their other best friend (the prince) for years, right up to a reveal scene in the novel itself. That friend thought Ferris was a girl for years and Ferris explicitely admits this was less a prank and more a selfish indulgence. By all accounts, that's what most medical experts would call "gender dysphoria" and I think it's fine to leave it at that. Is Ferris trans, though? Not all trans people have gender dysphoria, but are all gender dysphoric people trans? ...I suppose you can argue that they are, but I've read plenty a personal experience from gender dysphoric cis people who disagree, so... I can't say with certainty and I don't think anyone should assert so, as this video does. My own personal conclusion and assumptions are my own, but I see Ferris' character more as a gender bend concept taken to its logical conclusion by an author who intuitively understands gender dysphoria, but knows nothing about trans people. I don't think anyone should be jumping to apply real world medical diagnoses (like dysphoria) on fictional characters written by blissfully ignorant authors who live in a completely different culture. I see people do this with, for instance, characters they think are autistic, and that's fine and dandy to interpret your own rep when actual rep is lacking in media (god knows it's lacking), but... we gotta step back a bit and be more self aware that this is not an interpretation to hold over others' heads.

2) Ferris' name.

You got this one explicitely wrong. "Ferris" and "Felix" are not clever differences in romanizations from the Japanese novels. They're entirely different names in the Japanese novels. "Ferris" is フェリス ("ferisu") and "Felix" is フェリックス ("ferikkusu"). Spelling and pronunciation are completely different. And while "Felix" is definitely a "dead name", the reason Ferris changed their name is because not only is the name too masculine, but it was also the name given to them by their absolute garbage existence of a father, who Ferris wants nothing to do with anymore. I won't spoil what happens in the EX novel, but Ferris' vow regarding their name is explicitely intended to reject their father's namesake and adapt their beloved late mother's sensibilities.

3) Japan and "duty". "Propaganda" is a strong word and considering I've been a part of Japan (attending school and working) for so much of my life and I've retroactively studied the culture and history in a formal academic setting for nearly as long, I think a bit of a non-Western-enlightenment-centric lesson is in order here. Japan is a country that generally prides itself on 和 ("wa", harmony, peace). And as the saying goes, "With 理 ("ri", reason, duty) comes 令 ("rei", order), and with 令 comes 和." It's based on old Chinese/Confucius philosophy and Japan's history is ripe with strife and conflict permeated by periods of 和 seen as golden ages in the history books tailored to school kids and the general public. Unsurprisingly, much like the Western idealism in individuality that has been used to justify systemic racism, abuse of power, class wars, etc., Japan's cultural/societal use of 理 has been used to justify wars, power, and definitely the oppression of minorities, including LGBTQ+ people. But in the West, our individualism is also seen by minorities as essential to our identities, history, and cause. It is inseperable from our cultural identities, whether we like it or not. Japan's 理 is the same. I don't know a single queer person in Japan (friend group, extended friend group, academic essays, literature, or otherwise) who doesn't value 理 to the same diverse, yet core extent that Westerners value individualism. I think anyone who has been split between Japan and the US all their life as I have can probably sympathize with the internal conflict between our two cultural identities. You're so damningly aware of how the orderly needs of others impedes on your personal needs and vice versa and these two things are hard to reconcile with each other because they're dynamically opposed, yet both are extremely valuable to you.

Ultimately, on that last point, I'm just hitting back at the "it's propaganda" aspect of "duty" as cited by the author of the video. Hand-waving Re:Zero's author as having fallen victim to or [potentially] propagating "duty" propaganda as an excuse is extremely over-simplifying the issue with Ferris as a written subject and Japanese culture as a whole.

I do think your heart was in the right place and I'm fine with treating the video as a personal approach to a complicated topic, but as a trans woman who is on the fence regarding Ferris' canon "transness" (hence why I've been using they/them pronouns), I would rather approach this from the angle that the author inadvertently created a character who trans people can sympathize with, but didn't intend the character to be trans. Which means this isn't really a debate about whether Ferris is trans, but rather a debate about how much value we place on an author's words, contextually and paratextually, and how that affects our experience of and engagement with the work. Essentializing bigots for "not accepting" Ferris as trans and "misgendering" the character only serves to act as a self-righteous interpretation of a work we have no agency over. Also, it's fiction. If misgendering angers you, use that energy on people deliberately misgendering and fetishizing real people who deserve and need that basic consideration. I love Ferris with all my heart regardless of their canon gender, but they are an exemplatory case study in a vast sea of problematic queer rep in media.

--------

P.S. - I do find it weird that Ferris' gender comes up as a topic of debate within Re:Zero's queer-friendly spaces, but no one talks about Crusch? Crusch was just as explicitely demonstrated in the same EX novel to have rejected their womanhood. We don't get the same first-person camera lens or inner monologue as Ferris, but we don't need it because Crusch is more brash and open about it. The only reason they dawn a dress on special occasions like they did in the main story and anime is due to [spoilers] in that EX novel (for better or worse). Either way, Crusch is said to be the most manly Duke/Duchess in their family's history and Crusch says that is intentional. It's very clear that Crusch and Ferris are intended to be two opposite sides of the same coin. I may have personally critiques about how the author treats their gender, but their dynamic together is absolutely fantastic and I will die on that ship--er, hill.

thank you, I've never seen the show but this is a very, very good comment

[who-do-i-know-this-man]

more tales from the gas station propaganda! i personally would recommend checking out the web series as well as the books honestly - the books are a lot more detailed but the web series is still interesting! if you only read one of em 100% go for the books but they're still pretty neat together and also feature some differences (and an entry or two that didn't make it into the books)! it also felt more immersive to me to read the web series and then read the book, where jack talks about the blog/writing it. i personally started with the web series and moved onto the books afterward, and recommend doing that since it can drag a bit more if you read the books first (since a lot of the web series content is featured in the books). i found it most useful to read the web series + side stories, the books, and then the spinoff/side story bedside manor! the web series is more comedic than horror, though the books also lean more towards comedy in the first half.

anyway, in terms of actual propaganda - alongside the actual plot being really good, the characters are a big highlight! the prev propaganda went into it a bit, but the cast is endlessly fun. jack, the main character, has very dry humor and ends up kind of being "the straight man" of the more eccentric cast, but he's very fun bc unlike a lot of characters who fit that trope, he's JUST as weird and unhinged as the rest of the cast in his own way. his best friend (from book 2 onward at least), jerry (the blonde himbo) is the most chaotically hilarious character - deeply impulsive, wildly overly affectionate with everyone, weird fun fashion, unbothered by functionally everything, and basically just a human puppy given murderous tendencies. he and jack are also deeply pathetic (i say this affectionately).

there's also rosa, one of jack's coworkers in a later book with a massive crush on him (that he's fully oblivious to), is just a ball of sunshine and the only real competent employee; she's also fully unaware of the supernatural shit going on and is Very stressed over it </3 book 4 especially gives her fantastic characterization. o'brien is the local sheriff on gas station duty from book 2 onward (she basically cleans up any shit that goes on at the gas station) and is a little standoffish at first, but gets attached to jack and the rest of the crew pretty quickly (though she tends to show it more through endless nicknames and doing everything she can to keep the cast of idiots safe); she cares a Lot and actually puts effort into trying to keep the town safe and figure out what the fuck is happening

and that's just the main four characters! all of the side characters are also really good - spencer, the murderous stalker who has it out for jack, brick roscoe & brick roscoe, two agents of an unknown organization who cover up supernatural shit, benjamin, an insanely tough monster hunter/survivalist tired of everyone's shit, agatha, a cool old lady with a massive monster truck.. really, there's no shortage of fun characters

also! it's a pretty diverse series, with multiple canonically queer characters (even of the main cast, jack is ace + jerry is bi), physical disability rep, characters of color, and ofc mentally ill characters (again including jack himself) - alongside many people seeing jerry as coded (and potentially canonically?) adhd and jack as coded autistic

i will say that it's important to keep in mind there's a LOT of triggering content - alongside the horror stuff, which includes gore/body horror, unreality, paranoia fuel, torture, kidnapping, stalking, and more, there's also a LOT of discussion of abuse/child abuse and the series doesn't shy away from the bigotry the cast often faces (in particular warning for racism, ableism, and homophobia + slurs), and unfortunately there's also a decent amount of fatphobia in the series. i would 100% recommend the series, but do be warned that it's very heavy, especially towards the end

like the other person said the series is all available in audio format, both through audiobooks and youtube reading of the series! i'm not sure if the books are in any libraries but they're also all available to buy online, and obviously the web series is free to read on reddit and the tales from the gas station website. it's a bit of a long read (i get through books fast and it still took me a good week or two to get through everything even marathon-reading it) but it's worth it imo!

^

[breezytealy]

Vividly dreamt last night that they'd made a cheesy, early 00's style live-action "dragon ball next gen" TV show, and TruTen was canon?

It was completely Americanised, though the cast were of Asian heritage

The quality and shooting style was very power rangers/supernatural/charmed style - cheesy TV with a small effects budget, but the show owned it

There was a theme song - it was very chill and plodding, grungy-but-00s, "bah ba ba buh bah badah bah ba bad ba bada" with deep female vocals. I didn't grab any other lyrics than "oh yeah" at the end of the lines

In the episode I was "watching" we opened on some big monster peril in an American town, on a wide "Main Street" - the super powers were very fan-video After Effects shimmery/a slapped on correction layer with lots of reds and oranges. Trunks and Goten were late 20s.

Trunks was just a nickname and his real name was Robert???

He also only had an electric blue(!) section of hair on one side, but still with the parted style

There was a scene where Trunks and Goten were imagining how they could have met as adults, with Goten describing (and us seeing) this elaborate story of Trunks saddled with a baby (dressed as Darth Vader to represent Vegeta/Briefs fam ruthlessness ig) from his totes beard marriage picking up hitchhiker Goten, and Goten being smitten with this attentive Dad, and then Trunks liking him back but outcast from his family for doing so and for abandoning his life plan. Trunks and Goten then lived happily ever after renting cramped city apartments and dancing in laundrettes. When asked what he thought how they could have met, all Trunks could imagine was seeing Goten walk by and saying "hey dtf? I'm that Trunks" and Goten saying "aite bet" which we, as the viewers, apparently knew was more realistic given their characterisation in the show, but guiltily Trunks just says "oh yeah, same" to placate Goten. (Why, brain?)

The Gravity Chamber was instead generated by a portable device and generated over a domed area. Trunks was sword training in Grecian temple ruins atop a grassy hill with the daytime city as the backdrop. Someone from the Mayor's office disturbed him and in his panic to ensure the civ didn't get hurt, Trunks accidentally hit the boost button and trapped himself to the ground for a bit, again with shimmery and vibrating effects.

As Trunks recovered and was distracted in conversation, an Evil Lady TM stole the gravity bubble(?) machine. Presumably she tested it on a minion in part of the episode my brain skipped over, as she was later giving a shoulder massage to an anthro red squirrel (full squirrel head with hard to read, animalistic expressions, plus human body) and apologising profusely to him.

Anyway sadly that's when I woke up. During the dream I was so psyched for the casual queer rep and for the show in general that I thought it was real for a good thirty seconds, before frantically rolling over and typing up notes before it faded LMAO

[bloodandfleshautism]

Sigh… you assholes will never learn that wishing death on people you hate is absolutely stupid. No matter how much you say that you wish her misery and angst, JKR will always be known to all the world as an amazing woman who stood up for the rights of both genders, all races, all sexualities, and the validity of biological sex 🥰 You’ll never shut up about your shit opinion of her and you’ll harass her amazing supporters and HP fans. Bye bye you’re invalid 😘

Jesus Christ the terfs are after me now lmao

No one said that ‘biological sex’ was invalid, it very much is a real thing and is also much more flexible than you likely think, it’s driven by a wide range of biological factors (not JUST chromosomes as many will have you believe, but rather a myriad of different biological factors, such as hormones. See intersex ppl lmao).

Biological sex is of course a real thing, however when it comes to one’s own identity gender dysphoria is a phenomenon that occurs in many ppl and can only really be treated through transition, be it social, physical, etc. As someone who experiences a lot of gender dysphoria as well as clinical depression, I can tell you that before receiving any form of gender-affirming care my daily life was significantly harder to get through and my suicidal ideation considerably more frequent. (I would also like to note that many cisgender individuals also experience gender dysphoria related to not feeling like they comply to how ‘the idea man/woman’ looks or is, my god its common among gymbros, and very much tied to body dysmorphia that many of them face, a lot of the time.)

The concept of sex cannot be ‘erased’, as sex is real ofc?? Who told u it wasn’t?? (Though it does have much more nuance than many are lead to believe). But gender identity is a separate thing that is honestly more beneficial for you and everyone around you to respect.

JKR is also well-known for her inclusion of many antisemitic stereotypes in her books, movies, and carried through video game. This can be seen quite clearly through a basic examination of the characteristics of the ‘goblins’, with nasty caricatures of Jewish people echoing through. (My god just read about the ‘Goblin Rebellion’ in the game where you’re meant to suppress the uprising of the goblins from literal slave labour).

In terms of racism/classism in the HP series, I’d recommend giving this a read:

(She also very much falls into profiting off of gay rep without actually having any gay rep and very much using identity for profit - see the Dumbledore situation)

With her strange and continuous transphobic rants, and everything listed above, I know may be SUPER HARD to understand why I, queer, trans person (or really anyone with a shred of insight and empathy) may have a BIT of a problem with JKR.

Also, I do not wish death upon her, as I could never really find it in myself to wish harm upon anybody, however, I do wish that she would shut the fuck up.

Hope this helped =^}

[millylouedward]

Iris Kelly Doesn't Date - Book Review

In the famous words of Ruby Sutherland, "Read queer all year."

I am gay. So is this book. We are a match made in heaven.

Iris Kelly Doesn't Date has two main lovers, obviously, and then a circus of side characters who aren't really relevant to the romance at all. And that's fine. It's like when you're a little kid in church and you have a crush on the girl in choir. There's a whole bunch of people singing, but to you, it's only you and her. I swear I'm not speaking from experience (but I will save my religious trauma for another day).

Last year, I went into my first day at a new job. They took me into a room to do fingerprinting because this was an office that required security clearance. I was already riddled with anxiety but ya girl was pushing through. I'd made it all the way to 11 AM. I was on a damn roll. And then, the fingerprinting scanner wouldn't accept my fingerprints.

I kept trying the three fingers that wouldn't take over and over again. I began to think, what if I'm stuck here forever? What if I won't be able to keep this job? What if I died and I'm in hell and this is literally hell? Next thing I know, my heart is racing. My vision is getting blurry. I'm sweating like a possum in headlights. I puke into the nearest trash can, in front of my new boss.

Suffice to say, this was the worst panic attack I'd ever experienced. So when Stevie practically puked all over Iris, I was like, damn, she's so me.

I love the GAD rep in this book. Anxious girlies unite! And what's crazy about that first big panic attack that we see Stevie go through, is that it feels so real. I didn't notice we were even heading in that direction until it happened. That's exactly what anxiety is like for me. I don't notice my frantic thoughts or my racing heart until my body warms and I feel the vomit coming up my throat. The author has such a strong grasp on what it's like to have a panic attack that I almost had to wonder if she got inspiration from me (she didn't).

Let's talk about the spice. And no, I don't mean nutmeg. Iris Kelly Doesn't Date is sexy. Like blushing, covering my agape mouth, looking away from the screen sexy. I had to shield my screen from my cats for fear that their baby eyes would be exposed to such nasty smut, I mean that in the best way possible. I don't really read books for the smut though. It's fun and all, but I'm here for the romance damn it. I want to see this couple defy all odds to be together!

Ashley Herring Blake, I love you and your writing, but this book is too long, there are too many things happening, and there are too many characters. I get it, the fans want to see everyone from the previous books return. But I had a difficult time remembering who was who outside of the famed Delilah, Claire, Astrid, and Jordan. Everyone else was a blip to me. And between the play, the fake dating, the sex/romance lessons, the anxiety, the book writing, the New York, the Malibu trip and Adri stuff, there were just too many plots, none of which were fleshed out enough. Neither Stevie nor Iris really have the time to think and feel and take control over their stories because so much stuff is just happening to them. I like that in a YA adventure, but not so much in an adult romance. It was a lot to follow for me. I think if the author had cut some of these side plots down and fleshed out the others, it would've been a 5 star read for me. It's still 4 stars though!

Folks, this concludes my Goodreads reading challenge. I cannot believe I made it all the way to 52 books this year. At some points during 2023, I really didn't think I would make it all the way. But here we are, 52 whole books. I'm not done yet, though! I want to finish the PJO series before the year is up and maybe get through Chalice of the Gods. I have a couple library books available now too but had to delay those so I could finish this one. Keep an eye out for my best books of 2023 list soon!

[silver-heller]

HI BESTIE!

So, I'm curious. What do you think about the Diable Mordecai was given and everything Serafine said? Do you truly think Mordecai is trapped in the illegal or bootlegging business because of this? Why or why not?

(Happy June btw! 🤍💚💛🖤)

Ooo, okay but I am in love with this question (AND HAPPY JUNE TO YOU TOO! 💛🤍💜🖤 )

So, I want to analyze the words Serafine specifically said along with the context clues she gave, since I think that's extremely important here in the context of the AU (and just really interesting in general). And, though this is discussing it as if these spirits are real within the story, to be clear, in the AU, it is neither confirmed nor denied.

God Dammit Atlas

First off, let's not miss the symbolism between this spirit and Atlas. A lot of the things Serafine says are how I write Mordecai's view on Atlas in the AU. A light in the darkness, someone that traps others into one path that is "in the shadows", and is a mysterious figure connected with the idea of danger.

His Direction?

But, getting to the point, Serafine refers to the path Maitre Carrefour put Mordecai on as "his direction". This isn't really specific, like, at all. We see Serafine make a few assumptions about that (which I will delve more into later), but I do think it's important to establish upfront we're discussing the desires of a rather powerful entity that could have who knows what intentions, and this is coming from Serafine, who is extremely over confident in her ability to understand this.

But, there is one thing we know for sure. If this entity does exist, within the context of the AU, it took mercy on lost and lonely minors twice. It put them within the care of questionable parental figures, which, on the outside, shows a leaning towards a criminal lifestyle for them both but, this is only a surface level viewing of the situation. This shows some sort of emotional care on the spirit's part, meaning it isn't completely off base to say it may factor in the emotional needs of those it leads.

So, considering all of this, let's explore which each path actually entailed for the two.

Before Mordecai was saved he was already involved in the illegal trade, specifically gambling, where he was constantly and physically abused. If this spirit only cared about keeping Mordecai (or anyone for that matter) in the illegal path, I think it would have pushed Mordecai to stay in the gambling business despite how miserable it made Mordecai.

But it didn't. It put Mordecai in the care of Atlas. Now, thinking about everything Mordecai went through because of this, though there are certainly negatives (and the bag of snakes that is Atlas), it's quite interesting to think of all the positives;

Mordecai no longer had to withstand physical abuse and was taught how to defend himself.

Mordecai was put in a comfortable financial situation, giving him the free time to explore more of his hobbies and take time for himself.

He entered a queer friendly environment (the Lackadaisy).

He met Viktor and Silver, both whom he fell in love with.

He meets Rocky, who soon becomes a best friend to him and a great asexual ally.

He ends up meeting Serafine, who understands his supernatural struggle and they become extremely close.

Serafine's story is extremely similar, as being led into this life actually had a lot of net benefits for her as well;

She was able to stay with her brother and developed a deep, platonic bond with him.

She was taught to be strong and free, something that greatly empowered her.

She felt a connection to nature and herself that has sprouted body positivity and an emotional genuineness within herself.

She started working for the Marigold and experiencing exactly the type of thrills she wanted.

She developed a community that supports her.

She ended up with enough of a rep and the budget to express her gender identity in anyway she pleases.

So really, looking at it, it could be argued the spirit's path is really all about power. Or, more of, giving people the power and connections needed to be safe and themselves in this, unfortunately, extremely cruel and unaccepting world.

In Favor Of The Spiritually Inclined

Considering the AU introduces a supernatural element as far as Mordecai is concerned, along with developing these for Serafine and Rocky, this can't be ignored either. In the AU, none of these characters necessarily have to do anything to be connected with the supernatural and its path. For all of them, in one way or another, it has just become a part of their day to day life. For Mordecai, it haunts his dreams constantly, for Serafine, it is her whole religion and life purpose, for Rocky, it has effected how he views the whole world and the people around him.

Looking at it, Mordecai, Rocky, and Serafine all had moments where someone came into their life to save them from becoming trapped in terrible situations. This is a very specific pattern that is (mostly) only specific to them, from situations that could have specifically led to death (shot, psychical abuse, starving to death), to being minors when these occurred, to the figures that saved them becoming very important familial figures in their life (Atlas, Freckle, Maman Eulalie).

So, another potential angle that could be argued is that these three are like children to the spirit due to their natural connection to the spiritual, which has caused them all to have its general favor regardless of what path they take.

The Plan To Rescue Silver

However, another angle that can't be ignored is how intertwined Mordecai's path is with Silver, and how that will (hopefully) ultimately lead to Silver finally having peace after all the trauma he has endured.

In a lot of ways, Mordecai is set up to have a good chance at a relationship with Silver. He's already there by the time Silver is rescued, conveniently both being one of the strange figures Atlas took an interest in (so much so to include both in the trio Atlas focuses on the most heavily), due to not being saved earlier he also has his own trauma and can sympathize, the personality he ended up developing due to being raised by Atlas works quite well with Silver's, along with being one more inclined towards privacy and secrecy, so on and so forth.

So, hey, maybe Mordecai was destined to become the knight in shining armor that would take Silver into the shadows where he could finally find peace. One never knows.

They're All Creeps, They're All Weirdos, WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING HERE!?

So, this is the point where we really get into Serafine's language concerning the spirit. The most important lines that stuck out to me are these;

I think it's important to establish that what Serafine specifically says about leaving the spirit's path is, "You are obliged to him only, always. Or else you are lost again. Alone in de dark, not sure if you comin' or goin', dead or alive..." and "So don' cross him or he'll eat you from inside out."

In my opinion, none of this specifically details that Mordecai has to stay on whatever path this spirit may or may not have put him on. It would be preferable if he did, yes, but "death" isn't really a consequence here, in my opinion. The closest thing is Serafine's warning, but "crossing" someone, in my opinion, more entails actively screwing them over rather than disobeying them. So either way, I don't think that'd be the "end" for Mordecai.

"But you are where you suppose to be, here - where he wanted you, so we can take up de path together."

Yeah, you know my Mordecai x Serafine ass was going to bring up this line. In the AU Serafine and Mordecai's lives end up intertwining and greatly effecting each other, it's them against the world sort of vibes, and it could be argued any path with them together is the right path.

But, let's check off the sort of "requirements" for being in the "shadow" of this spirit.

"Off trodden paths, away from street light, where all's dim and dangerous."

"Where the strange animals are. Where people like us live."

People like us is very vague and I love that for the AU ngl.

Hm, well, who do I know who is constantly shown as strange throughout the AU, has been constantly ostracized for it, and, regardless of what they do, would probably lead a very private or strange life in the shadows? Who went off the intended path of their life, lives a murky existence, and is constantly in danger for one reason or another?

Oh right, literally every single member in the Lackacrew!

Yep, so this section was basically to say, all of that before? It doesn't freaking matter because, the fact the Lackadaisy, each other, and the illegal trade was in their paths to begin with means their past will always make them end up as strange little dudes in the shadows that will always be at risk of their illegal life coming back to bite them (okay, so, the other things still matter but...). They could literally do anything but still live within the spirit of secrecy and danger because that life has effected them permanently in ways that will never leave them, never.

Conclusion

In the AU, I would very much argue Mordecai becoming involved in bootlegging was indeed part of his journey, but it wasn't the end destination. I think Serafine is so adamant about seeing it that way because, for her, it really is. I think, overtime, she will become more open minded about what Mordecai's path might entail and why.

[menalez]

Same Anon re: butch rep or lack thereof in queer love ultimatum:

Do you have a link/tag for your posts about the show? I didn’t see the butch rep post and I’d love read what other radfems think. I scrolled back but couldn’t find it.

And yeah I agree pretty much everyone except Xander, yoly (although she’s not 100% innocent,) and Sam suck to varying degrees, I only singled Vanessa out because the ask was about gender identities and Vanessa identifies as pansexual instead of lesbian. I felt bad for the other lesbians because they were to my knowledge, lesbians attracted to women, but technically dating self admitted non-women. Toxicity/drama wise, I pretty much agree with the general consensus on Mildred/Lexi/Rae/Aussie/tiff/Vanessa so I’m not going to add anything abt them.

My only unpopular opinion is about mal. Mal doesn’t necessarily suck per say, I think she’s a decent person and she’s super fine. but like Vanessa, her sudden reversal into wanting to propose seems motivated by wanting to “win,” instead of a genuine desire to commit to yoly. The fact that she suddenly started picking up after herself around the house shows she was capable of doing it all along but was content to let yoly pick up after her. The way she is motivated by wanting to win is a lot less obvious and less malicious than Vanessa, because she does care about yoly to some degree and she might not even consciously realize her motives. But I don’t think her intentions are genuine, I think she’s a real smooth talker towards both Lexi, yoly, and the camera/audience. I empathize with her a lot because I’m a poc lesbian (femme Indonesian though, not black butch,) and if a white woman showed up with a real chance of taking my girlfriend away I’d be feeling all types of old insecurities and might feel the overwhelming urge to win. I might be reading into it, but I just think if everyone wants to call Vanessa out for her sudden change of heart, it might be good to acknowledge that Mal is kind of doing something similar, but a lot less clumsily. I know she said she eventually wanted to get married after her finances were taken care of, but after the finance conversation w/yoly, I’m a bit suspicious about whether she was actually taking concrete steps to make that reality happen, or if she was using that as a delaying excuse. I would hate for her and her bestie to spin the narrative that yoly was some sort of gold digger who abandoned Mal to fall in love with Xander’s financial statements, because it kind of looked like they were implying that in the last episode. I had a soft spot for Mal, but I think I if the threat of xander were to go away, Mal would go back to her old, not-picking-up, marriage and kids delaying self.

this was my post about it. no one besides me rly shared their thoughts on that tho, to me i just thought it was concerning and indicative of a larger trend & commonly held idea nowadays that gnc = u must be non-binary or trans somehow. it all goes back to "cis = you identify as the gender you were born as" and gender simply being the societally & culturally ascribed roles based on ur sex... based on that logic ofc butch lesbians would not fit in and ofc many gnc people dont "feel" like theyre women (if female) or men (if male) but rather simply exist in the body that theyre in and dont conform to the gender roles pushed onto them.

i actually rly thought tiff was terrible at first but surprisingly, out of the bunch shes not the worst. definitely aussie (big disappointment. was into her at first), vanessa (also disappointment. shes rly beautiful too), mildred, and lexie are the ones i really didnt like. i loved mal, xander, & rae the most. im at a stage where im not 100% sure about yoly i mean she seems really lovely but the fact that mal expressed these insecurities holding her back from marriage & yoly basically confirmed every single one of them was like. really sad to see. and seeing mal cry so much was heartbreaking too ? like poor baby mal i want to just hug her and find a way to cheer her up.

i do agree w u tho that mal wanting to get married doesnt make much sense. i mean yoly basically confirmed every fear mal had that was keeping her from getting married to begin with!! if that were me id be like hell no im not proposing to u, if my main concerns were 1. im not financially ready and 2. my partner falls in love with everyone quickly and in the same way so why would *i* be the one, and then my partner went and proved she wants someone with more money + falls in love so fast (2 WEEKS!?!??) then id just say no way maam! we'll get married when u address my concerns! BUT that said, u made some decent points. i also was skeptical of the sudden flip to wanting to get married to yoly & the sudden meeting all of yoly's desires, like when someone is acting that way u rly dont know if theyre genuinely that way or if theyre just doing it to win. im skeptical of those things being consistent things too.

i got a similar sense to u there but also i generally just dont believe anyone is 100% genuine on the show, maybe the most genuine has been rae or even yoly bc yoly has been pretty direct & open w her feelings despite the issues it was causing. xander seems sweet but i definitely thought it was odd that she told yoly shes in love w her and then when vanessa asked she said she doesnt love yoly .. oh also sam is just amazing. i loved seeing her grow enough to stand up for herself and speak up unapologetically. i was super disappointed by aussie tbh she was like one of the women i was rly rooting for bc idk asian butches just have my heart bc they make me think of my lovely gf yanno but she rly let me down and was imo the absolutely worst of the bunch, even tho the one who would get shit on all the time is vanessa (who i think is not even as bad)

also lexie is annoying as hell and i think rae should dump her bc i was just getting some red flags from how lexie was acting ngl

[flying-elliska]

Anyway ! Better late than never but here's my favorite stuff I read in 2022 :

- Last Night at the Telegraph Club, by Malinda Lo. Without a doubt my favorite read of the year. Somehow it manages to be heartbreaking, tender and uplifting all at once. The writing is beautifully evocative, the details chosen so clever, and I found the main character painfully relatable. It illuminates a type of experience, that of a young Chinese American lesbian in 1950s San Francisco, that has generally fallen through the cracks of history - it's a celebration of the fact that queer people have existed, everywhere through time and space, and have found ways to be happy even though it was scary and hard and they couldn't tell anyone. And it also illustrates the complex intersections between her different identities - the struggle of her immigrant family to build a life in the US during the Red Scare, the racism she experiences in queer spaces, how she struggles to make a future for herself as a woman interested in science, etc, in a way that feels very important and builds on each other. Also, it's a wonderful tribute to queer spaces and how life saving they must have been, the wonder of discovery, having to rely on crumbs of info and representation, how dangerous and uncertain it all was, just, ugh. Reading this made me think of my 17 year old self who would repeatedly go through the street of the only lesbian bar in town on purpose without daring to go in for years. It's like !!!! That specific mix of longing and anxiety and anticipation. Things have gotten so much better, and yet. Ugh. Anyway, the sense of place and geography in this book is brilliant. Also the romance is very sweet, and the end, if frustratingly open ended, took my breath away. Anyway there is a reason why it got so popular and it's one of the best sapphic books I've read - also YA at its best, easy to read uplifting coming of age story that is also well written and doesn't set aside complexity, richness of historical detail or psychological nuance. Destined to be a classic honestly.

- One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston ; already reviewed this one but for me this was the perfect fun enjoyable queer summer romance with an interesting plot and cool characters and vibes. Perfect for what it was honestly.

- Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand ; also popular for a reason ; clever and inventive and inspiring YA, with a great uplifting kick the patriarchy solidarity between girls + Buffy vibes. Good ace rep and I just found the main couple really compelling, especially Val, the privileged queen bee with the family secretly cursed to serve a horrible monster that takes over their bodies and forces them to commit atrocities, how she's honestly kind of an evil bitch at times and is allowed that moral ambiguity but also gets to be brave and heartbreaking and lovable and redeemed in the end and also empathized with as a victim of abuse, and it's like !!!! This is exactly the treatment that male characters get so often and female characters were denied for a long time. Main couple feels like the meme where the popular shallow girl and the 'not like other girls' edgy loner girl are actually falling in love and also, real people instead of cliches. I feel like the author could have done a bit more with the atmosphere but overall it was great and I would have been obsessed with this book as a teenager.

- A Marvellous Light, Freya Marske : gay Regency fantasy romance, what's not to love? Fascinating characters and cool magic system and just a joy to read. My main caveat is that I read it in the beginning of the year and I don't remember much of it but I did remember having a blast reading it.

- Cultish, Amanda Montell : Cults have been a hyperfixation of mine for a long time, for reasons that range from intellectual/writerly interest in what it says about human behavior and group dynamics, wanting to understand how power abuse works and generally processing some fucked up shit I've experienced and witnessed growing up. And there is a lot of sensationalist, dehumanizing stuff out there, so I liked the book's more compassionate and humanistic approach. People on the whole don't join cults because they're isolated wackos or mentally weak or instable or desperate ; in fact cults tend to go for the strong willed, determined idealists who want to see the best in people and have a lot to gain in joining a movement that promises change and real action for a better world. (Unfortunately this is why a lot of cult victims are oppressed minorities). They prey on people's innate need for group belonging and meaning in an atomized world that offers little, using manipulative mechanisms of language that slowly shift your reality away from you. Far from outlandish, these mechanisms are already used at a lesser degree by a lot of big mainstream institutions and religion, and are everywhere in ads and on social media (I especially liked the bit about how MLMs function like capitalistic cults whose protestant/prosperity gospel ideology is deeply tied into our current system, which is why they've been allowed to proliferate so well). And yeah honestly i think recognizing those techniques in order to be immune to them should be basic education. Also I liked the point that a lot of what makes people vulnerable to cults are also often very useful important qualities in other settings so you can't set them aside entirely. So a very interesting book, even though it's still pop science so it gets judgmental and imprecise in places.

- Getting to Yes, Fisher and Ury : lmao this is not a very tumblr book but this is a book about principled negociation, e.g how it's not being a domineering asshole that makes you a good negotiator but instead you can get to the best outcomes by being methodical, empathetic, knowing exactly when and where to stand your ground and when to be generous, setting good boundaries and communication and showing the example by being fair without being taken advantage of. Obvs very useful in a pro setting but I think in general this is a very affirming book if you're the quiet, shy type who struggles with self-confidence. Like, you don't have to be an obnoxious immoral backstabby asshole to get what you want, you really don't.

Overall this was not a good reading year, with 18 books read down from 34 in 2021 - mostly because there were some months where I completely forgot to read. But, I did have a lot of fun reading and I still think that's the most important. Also I read more queer love stories than straight ones, which I am very happy with and definitely want to continue with.

My main goals for 2023 are to read more and especially all the books sitting unread on my shelves (you know the issue.) I want to get into more intellectually challenging stuff and balance it out with lighter reads, esp. queer adult romance and fantasy. I'd like to write more reviews here again. And yeah I want to keep having fun most of all.

[scholar-of-yemdresh]

Get To Know Me

Call me Odunayo/Ayo or if you're feeling pretentious The Scholar. I won't always remember to update my age so I'll just say i was Born in 1999. If you couldn't guess by my name I am West African aka BLACK.

I'm Asexual I don't use the SAM so by asexual I mean no sexual & romantic attraction.

My blog is mostly talking about books, Podcasts/audio dramas, queer issues & representation, occasional salty posting and miscellaneous interests.

My blog is pretty sfw I do talk occasionally about mature topics but nothing too graphic. So while minors can interact I will prioritise interaction with other adults.

Some of My greatest hits:

My Ongoing list of Adult transmascs & NBs in adult oriented science fiction and fantasy

My Dirty Bag Aces post, bc we need more Morally dubious asexuals idc if it's "bad rep" lol

My Psy-op to get Silt Verses fans to read my faves

I'm passionate about diverse interesting and unique adult Science fiction and Fantasy. By diverse I mainly mean poc and/or queer but tbh if I had to choose between a well written interesting sff book that was majority white and (implied)cishet and a tropey bland ya-lite queer/poc book?...I'm choosing the white guy 😂

My fave (sub)genres include;

Secondary World Ubran Fantasy: basically Fantasy worlds with modern technology eg The Craft Sequence and Green Bone Saga

Cosmic Horror/Lovecraftian minus the extreme racism of course lol; I can tolerate a smidgen of racism just a sprinkle though 🤭

Villainous Asexuals: others cry bad rep I say give me more dirt bag aces, my fave of faves is Ymir by Rich Larson

Funky Standalone books

In addition to dirt bag aces give me dirty bag transmascs and NBs. Weirdly I've found a niche of authors who consistently write women that are real evil n1ggas but the same energy isn't put into TMs &NBs 😔

Expect to see the occasional propaganda/subliminal hypnosis beams for the following;

The Black Iron Legacy by Gareth Hanrahan, Twenty Palaces by Harry Connolly, Craft Sequence, Ymir by Rich Larson, Master of Poisons by Andrea Hairston, The Crimson Empire by Alex Marshall, The Divine Cities by Robert Jackson Bennett,The Graven by Essa Hansen, Starmetal Symphony by Alex White, The Protectorate by Megan E O'keefe, The Winnowing Flame by Jen Williams etc

My tastes are wide and technically very strict; I'm only interested in Adult stories with adult casts ● I like a dark/grimdark(not nihilistic) tone but I'm uncomfortable with sex crimes(rape, incest, pedo shit, necro etc) nuh uh can't deal with it at all and depending on how graphic or if a major POV character is involved with that shit will straight up skip a book so most dark fantsy is off the table ● I'm chill with gore & body horror but I despise torture porn/extreme horror/splatterpunk yall need Jesus 😂 that terrifier art the clown type shit I can't deal! I'm an Edgelord but not that 2edgy4u ● I don't care much for mantasy (the faux medieval euro crap with angsty cis white sword dudes bleh now make the grizzled sword dude transmasc and now we're cooking with GAS) ● the asexual™ in me acts up too much so romance and sex makes me roll my eyes & skip ● I do have a recency bias I'm hesitant to touch books made pre-2010s on account of the racism,sexism,homophobia and weird creepy consent issues or staright up pedophilia yikes ● Also I don't like things that are two long, as I said I'm a slow reader so investing too much time in really long sprawling epic is err not for me.

Also as a (queer) Christian anti-theists dni, normal atheists are fine just don't be an asshole who calls religious people mentally ill or other edgelord shit.

[llitchilitchi]

tbh i have mixed feelings about ks being mlm representation, like on a surface level it could be considered that, but i think its too much a reflection or real horror stories around gay people? like especially considering the murder guy is straight, it represents more a story of a gay man as a victim of straight violence - i dont think this is necessarily bad, just for me its also not good rep of homosexuality in horror or sexual horror - especially since homosexuality is used quite a bit within sexual horror to condemn homosexuality, which i think could implicitly be represented through the stalker guy's obsession with the straight murder guy which ultimately leads to his sa and torture, as if he was asking for it (not that i think thats what the writer intended, just that it does reflect other aspects of queer sexual horror)

this is /nm ofc, just my interpretation ! sorry again if its a little rambly, media analysis is just like my favourite thing psksks

okay so I got this a couple days ago while we were discussing this and first I want to apologise for not answering this sooner, I've been busy, and secondly, as much as this conversation is probably over this is something that's been stuck in my mind since I first read it

this one gets heavy so this is a last warning for anyone to skip over this ask, we're talking about killing stalking here so all the tws that come with that will be discussed

I see where you're coming from! we do have to ask what we consider mlm/queer representation in media though. is killing stalking even mlm? one of the protagonists is gay, yes, but it isn't exactly Men Loving Men, it's a gay man being taken advantage of because of his infatuation with his abuser (who is straight).

besides, this is a psychological horror/thriller kinda story, so the sexual horror is somewhat expected, even if it is reflective of the horror real queer people undergo. it's something women go through in relationships with men, too, and there are several stories that are realistic-ish (the first to come to mind would be Jennifer's Body, and, in a way, Rosemary's Baby.) there are many stories that depict straight relationships like that and since I personally believe in 'stories with queer characters and same sex couples shouldn't be just pure and sweet and it's better like that, actually' it never was an issue to me that the main couple was two men.

the story also never came off as condemning homosexuality. while it was somewhat used against yoonbum it didn't read like the author herself was condemning him for being gay. the tone might have changed in the later chapters, if it did then that's just awful. but as far as I remember it was on the side of parodying classic yaoi tropes, as in pushing them to such an extreme it was the author more or less screaming at the readers THIS IS MESSED UP!! THIS IS WRONG AND NOT RIGHT!! NOT BECAUSE IT'S GAY BUT BECAUSE IT'S RAPE AND ABUSE!!

especially the intro, if Yoonbum was a woman the stalking would still result in abuse and rape, so I don't think it was intended to be read as 'if he wasn't gay this wouldn't have happened' cause hell, if Sangwoo was a woman the story would most likely read the same!

it does beg the question of why the author chose to write both protagonists as male, which I suppose, the best answer is 'why not?'

I get that writing these stories is tricky, especially with how people still view same sex relationships as either bad or as a fetish for them to indulge in (I'm talking fujoshi culture and straight men being into lesbian porn, for example), but I do feel like the best way to normalize queerness is writing any story with a queer character. including a story like killing stalking. (and before anyone comes at me with 'so you're saying that-' as long as it's not condemning them for being gay it's fine. as long as it's not saying All Queer People Bad it's fine. if the character is fucked up and gay then that's fine.)

tbh the only way I could see this story as being 'bad queer representation' would be if yoonbum was straight and sangwoo gay, tho I guess even that could be argued over. but you get what I mean by this, probably /genuine