#thought we had peace here

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Sublime Equine.

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[rushthehollow]

art of the duel

[jacksmusesdrv3]

I know I've twisted myself into a goddamn pretzel the past five or so years trying not to be 'too much' and backing off when I am

but

A good deal of why I started the #dr literacy tag is precisely because of this- I am beyond tired and fed up, with the kinds of things that people have ignored and left on my back- whether it's to do with Kokichi, or V3 overall. It's easy to deflect and call me 'delusional', and five years later never even consider the implications of having called me that over what I've been trying to grapple with, much less apologise to me sincerely and genuinely try to understand where I'm coming from and why it's so hard to discuss in the first place- not to mention why it's so easy to make mistakes not least because the way Kodaka plays with themes can be decidedly insensitive (and I was clearly out of my depth with that when I started this blog)

This isn't about all of you. A good number of people here have been wonderful about this, even if they don't understand all too well. But frankly such people are the exception rather than the rule, and the rule is that people don't bother to interrogate their own biases about Kokichi, or really grapple with the way him and V3's narrative might be constructed with bias. And this unwillingness to accept ambiguity and nuance results in some genuinely hurtful behaviour towards people who try to point out that, maybe, not everything was even his fault, or that his character and situation is far more layered than it appears on a first run of the game. Or even a second, or third.

So I'm gonna need people in that camp to swear that you'll do better about this going forward. No really. This situation I've been in didn't come out of nowhere, and while I've beaten the proverbial horse to death that I haven't always been fair or reasonable either, that does not mean I should just back myself into a wall and take the status quo that is 'Tsumugi is telling the truth and Kokichi is just a clown' as a 'fact of canon'. Because there's a very good chance that that might not even be true, and that there's even more tangled messes Kodaka left in the text to unpack that you never even thought of, and that really NEED extra care and nuance to fully understand.

I know you're probably sick of hearing this from me by now. But this is an issue that can never be helped until it's faced head on, and the effect of basically being pathologised over it (due to *checks notes* autism), is seriously damaging- the inability of people to address things as serious issues and themes rather than 'just the pet theory that came out of my nutty head', is something I cannot, on principle, force myself to accept. So please just think about the way you're approaching issues in the future. I will try to do the same.

[baeshijima]

i am predicting that sunday will be a nihility character to contrast robin's harmony (hoyo PLEASEEE make him a dot buffer 🙏 i really want him but if he won't synergize well with kafka then i fear i'll have to skip...)

honestly at this point i just want sunday to be drip marketed and released and in my account 😭😭 like i will be pulling him and his lc no matter what his synergy with the charas in my account are bc i need him. carnally. and desperately.

[pulchrasilva]

Nobody fucking talk to me i just finished rewatching arcane and it was DEVASTATING I need to KILL

[crescentfool]

with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.

i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.

heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."

knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.

it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.

i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!

i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!

[stromer]

kevin kurz u loser 😭 get my little brother’s name OUT of your mouth right now

[bredforloyalty]

ah! sane, i maaay not be. to be determined

[allyouzombies]

screaming myself hoarse til I pass out we were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives I will always have your back and be curious about you about your career your whereabouts!!!

[thatlittledandere]

I love learning about regional differences within countries or even regions. It's an American internet so even I know that New Yorkers are on a whole 'nother level of exceptionalism and being from Brooklyn specifically Means Something. Tell me, how does the rest of Brazil feel about people from Rio? What sets the Quebecuois apart, aside from speaking French? Does South Africa have stereotypes about people speaking all the different languages they have? Does being closer to North or South America mean something in Mexico? Italy hasn't been one cohesive country for very long, how shattered is it still? Etc etc etc tell me about regional stereotypes in your dear homeland Ethiopia make it a fight if you have to. I want to HEAR

[mondscheinprinzessin]

I want to take a star sticker from my study plan and put it on my therapist's forehead🥺

[thotsfortherapy]

hmmmm... ran into my ex today

[roseverdict]

i would like to propose an addendum to the concept of DNI's.

DNEI's.

"Do Not Expect Interaction."

Functionally similar to a dni except instead of telling the people around you not to interact if they support certain things, you'd be saying "Look, if you try to rope me into an interaction but you do xyz, I'm not responding. I will possibly/probably even block you."

Basically setting your boundaries in a way that's less likely to be taken by a vocal minority and turned into "everyone around me has to put in the effort to curate my online experience, even if they don't know it" while also keeping things organized.

This last bit is just me feeling old and not necessarily about this "dnei" concept but I'd recommend keeping your criteria vague when possible so you're not just handing your triggers and such over to potential assholes on a silver platter.

Actually wait now that I'm thinking about it a "dnei" might actually work for this too- if someone has an aversion to specific kinds of gore but not others (just as an example off the top of my head), just saying "dnei if you draw gore" would tell any gore artists that they probably aren't a fan of their work, to put it lightly. However, if the dnei writer peeks in on a gore artist and finds that the art is a kind of gore that doesn't bother them, then any interaction between the two users would be unexpected, but not necessarily "the dnei writer lied on their dnei" or however that could go.

also presents a funny self-own if an inevitable asshole tries to trigger them and winds up sending the kind of gore they're fine with lmao. congratulations, you didn't reach your goal of setting off whatever negative reaction you were trying to get and you outed yourself as the kind of asshole who'd try to do that. you played yourself.

idk if im making sense but. there it's almost midnight i'm out

[poptartmochi]

my sensitive ears may make me prone to overstimulation and irritation BUT they also make me the mosquito hunter supreme so. 🥸maybe it's an even trade off

[medicinemane]

Anyway, hope you're all doing well

I just... I haven't slept and also I've got like... 2-4 days of tumblr to catch up on... mostly to make sure I don't lose anything I want to keep requeuing

In many ways I'm probably doing better than I have been in a long time... maybe ever, but... I've got zero focus, I can barely watch youtube videos, I certainly can't play games... I can't get myself to clean... I don't know man

It's like... it's like my mind's empty except for some thick clear goopy sludge... it's like being over at a strange house sat alone in a big room waiting for people to come back... not wanting to touch anything so you just sit there staring and feeling out of sorts, except it's just constant in my own house in my own room... just saw Bart flop down in front of my door and realized I'm so out of it I forgot I had cats

It's like I'm living every moment in the moment, but not in a peaceful way, in a I'm untethered from reality and trying to figure out plans or how to deal with getting everything sorted out is just kinda painful kinda way

Then my mood... well... I kinda have no mood. I'm fucking numb if I'm honest. I have flavor opinions like "I'm worthless and should kill myself", but I actually don't even feel depressed right now, I feel nothing

I don't see much point to my future even if everything goes great, and I would like to kill myself, but I have zero interest in even considering it right now even though I have everything I need around if I just stand up and take a single step

So... much as it probably sounds like I'm just pure in the trash right now, I'm actually in many ways probably doing better than I ever have before... I'm just also real messed up right now at the same time

I don't feel hopeful, I never feel hopeful, but I do feel like I can maybe guide shit into a good position, it's just once again I figure that even if I do everything I want to with being able to help other people out and stuff, I'll still just kinda end up alone in a crowd

You know... funny thing is I'm thinking "the fuck is even the point I wanted to make?", and I realize... my point was actually that I'm doing pretty good and not to worry... not sure how well I'm selling it, but it's true

I hesitate to assign anything to myself, my stance on me and anything I can't conclusively say tends to be no comment... but if I were looking at someone else describing what I'm feeling in my position, I might be inclined to say burnout... months of having to be on and clean and manage everything and... all that... well it's one explanation, who knows if it's correct

Anyway though, I'm good, don't worry, know I do appreciate you all and wish I had more brain power to say more to more people... it's just maybe kinda sad that this is my version of doing good... the fuck is wrong with me if I wake up everyday feeling like I've been beaten with clubs... and for me this is kinda peak... what's that say about my baseline?

Doesn't matter, only thing to do is keep moving forward

Guess insomnia paired with not really being able to think, like words just kinda pop out with no planning... guess it makes me ramble real bad, this was supposed to be like one or two paragraphs being positive

It's a Beautiful World

[taughtdefense]

❝ see? i’m not just a pretty face. ❞

you grunt in frustration as your back slams against the dirt in the parking lot of miyagi-do, but you’re not in any pain. the sun is beating down on you & robby, but you don’t care. in fact, it only makes the amusement you feel grow to new heights... even if you allowed robby to pin you to the ground with that new move he learned from mr. bierce. but your friend doesn't have to know that. perfect acting, check. perfect execution of being a novice in karate, check again. pretending like you're not in love with robby? yeah. maybe you're kind of failing at that, but hey: two out of three isn't so bad. someone still needs to get you an oscar, pronto.

you stare up at robby, drinking in every detail you can... totally platonically, yep. the sunlight highlights every freckle on his face. you're slightly taken aback by the sudden urge to run your hand through his hair, to push it away from his face so it doesn't bother him. the overwhelming urge buzzes just underneath your skin. by some literal miracle of the void, you somehow pull from your thread-thin self-restraint you’d picked up on entirely thanks to mr. larusso’s teachings. it stops you from doing so, because goddamn, do you want to. jesus fucking christ.

(if this was any other lifetime, you’d have lost that war pretty much as soon as the urge crossed your mind. you half regret it; but making robby uncomfortable is the last thing you want to do. which is entirely why you're ignoring the urge to just pull him down for a kiss. you think it'd be really nice.

you ignore your Younger Self saying ❛ the thing is, i don't think robby would really mind if you did it. ❜ maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. you could totally just go for it, but again... boundaries.)

your eyes slide closed, but the smile on your lips remains.

❝ okay, that was better than last time with charlie, i’ll admit. you're getting b-better. ❞ you compliment him, biting your lower lip after a moment.

❝ see? i’m not just a pretty face. ❞ @taughtpain jokes. you reopen your eyes to see him staring down at you.

a blush blooms across your very amused face, & you laugh lightly, grinning so widely that it makes your entire face brighten. you suddenly avoid eye contact with him thanks to the bolt of heady warmth courses through your veins. (it has nothing to do with the sweltering heat.) your facial expression suddenly morphs into a very visibly shy one, your eyes flickering to stare at his arm slung over your chest so he doesn't see how damn shy you are given the circumstances. you make no move to make a countermove against him. you have no desire to throw him off you, or to turn the tables on him. you're not gonna wrestle out of his grip to get the upper hand so you can pin him to the ground instead.

let you just reiterate the fact that you're surprised by all of these emotions flooding through you. robby is the only one who has ever manged to make you feel emotions you haven't felt before—certainly not in your ❛ prime ❜ life as kidpool, or in your eldritch form, just literally ever. it's a learning process, but one you're more than happy to take on.

you want to stay by his side forever. no matter what, it's gonna be you & robby against the world—you're always gonna be in his corner.

it's a pleasant idea, & something you plan on following through completely.

❝ sh-shut up, dude. that was totally a lucky shot, ❞ you huff without any heat—pun abso-fucking-lutely intended. your Younger Self certainly appreciates that one. ❝ next one won't be. ❞