#through the proper channels or w/e but I just.

[knightdykes]

love love love the fact that there's gonna be a "protect the children" rally lead by actual neo nazis and someone on the school board. especially love that it's gonna be right fucking outside my house!

[thekittytat]

Animal

One Shot Smut

Dom!Eddie Munson x Fem Reader

No but this smile makes me WEAK and this is how he looks at you in this story⬇️

Summary: You’ve been increasingly angsty lately, so you go in search of something to help you escape. Turns out the overly dramatic metal head from your school sells stronger substances than you could normally get your hands on. But you better be sure you bring enough cash, or you might have to pay him some other way…Yes, exactly like one of those sleazy 80’s porn flicks.

Warnings: Much Smut 18+ Dom DrugDealer!Eddie x Fem Reader. Mentions of hard drugs, narcotics, alcohol, public sex, cheating, shy reader, secret slutty reader, popular reader, vulgar language, pet names, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, breeding if you squint (it’s v animalistic) Porn w very little plot.

Song Inspiration: Animal (Fuck Like a Beast) by W.A.S.P.

“I do whatever I want to, to ya

I'll nail your ass to the sheets

A pelvic thrust and the sweat starts to sting ya

I fuck like a beast”

Word Count: 3.1k

Fuck. Everyone had been getting on your goddamn nerves more than usual lately. Your prim and proper parents were harassing you about the one B you received in science, scolding you for being 'provocative’ by wearing too much makeup (it was light blush and mascara), and by daring to wind down with your friends once in awhile. Granted, they had no idea who your real friends were as they would blow a gasket if they knew how you spent many of your weekends under the overpass smoking cigarettes and weed with some of the local dirtbag kids and the hopeless junkies in your town who go there to get high.

Even your white bread, conventional boyfriend had been getting onto you about your pent up rage and choosing to partake in foreign substances to release it. He would drink with you at parties, but he was always the one who made you stop when you were starting to really have fun. ‘Just loosen up once in awhile, Jake. Jesus Christ,’ you would find yourself thinking bitterly. You couldn't take it anymore. Sure, your guilty pleasures aren’t exactly healthy, but you’ve been forced to conform to the monotonous life of your family and peers for so long that you were aching for something to help you escape.

You had heard of this guy in your school who sells more than weed and decided to hit him up for some uppers to try and channel that high into focusing on studying for the midterm. Your friend told you how to contact him, and before the day was up, you had discreetly dropped a note into his locker telling him your desires and the locker to which he could send the response. Your heart leapt when after your very next class, there was already a note in your locker signed by ‘E. M.’ and scribbled with instructions to meet him in the back of the library after school.

E. M. Eddie Munson. The kid who often caused a scene in the cafeteria or classes with his ruckus outbursts and theatrical lectures about one issue or another? Figures. He was intimidating with his dramatic personality and his overall appearance, but that sent flutters to your lower stomach as you thought about meeting with him face to face—alone. So you spent your last period of the day fidgeting nervously and not paying any attention to the lesson. When the bell finally rang, you headed for the bathroom to freshen yourself up while you waited for the hallways to clear a bit before you made your way down to the library.

It was pretty deserted by the time you arrived, with only a couple students at the front few tables looking through refrence books for whatever projects they had. The librarian was always occupied at the front organizing returned books or in her office, so the back aisle of the library had become the designated spot for drug deals and make out sessions. You tried to make yourself as small and quiet as possible as you slipped in through the library door and made your way down the side wall towards the back. No one paid you any mind so you were in the clear. As you rounded the corner to the back, your stomach flipped at the sight of Eddie leaning against the back book shelf and casually doing tricks with his switchblade.

He gave you a quick nod of welcome and flashed you with a knee buckling smile when he noticed you approaching. God, he looked good. His ripped black jeans sagged just a bit around his hips, despite the belt around them. You reckoned it was only there for show as he had hooked a decorative assortment of chains onto the metal rings on the belt, with little handcuffs serving as the clips. His dark mane of hair hung wildly around his shoulders in a very Eddie Van Halen way. Hah, funny coincidence. And, oh shit, was that a Mötley Crüe tee? They were pretty infamous in the rock and metal scene for being chaotic menaces always at the center of controversy.

As you got closer you noticed he had a few tattoos on his arms. Who the fuck would tattoo a teenager in this small town? You knew he was in a band, and he really embodied the rock star persona, from his look, to his mannerisms and attitude. Your heart raced being in his presence just by how chill he seemed, and you tried your best to match his laid back demeanor. You stopped in front of him, fiddling with the hem on the long sleeves of your sweater nervously as you raised your head to peer into his dark brown eyes. His gaze was captivating and rendered you speechless as he looked you up and down.

“So, what can I help you with, sweetheart?” Eddie grinned down at you in amusement. Sweetheart? Shit.

“I uh…I’m just looking for something maybe…to help, I don't know…” you trailed off as you glanced around anxiously looking for the words. “Something…like, an upper…or something?”

He seemed entertained by your shyness with the way he was eyeing you. You blinked back up at him to gauge his reaction and he was merely taking in your appearance with a smug expression on his face, the lines bordering his mouth etched deeply around his smile.

“What, like H?” he teased with a wide smirk. You gasped at him incredulously as you hugged your torso. As if you can be mistaken for some junkie? What about your pleated white skirt, your cashmere sweater and the white gold chain around your neck screamed ‘heroin?'

“No! Of course not! Not that strong! Just, maybe…something, stimulating?” you whispered urgently. He gave you a humorous chuckle at your exasperated reaction before looking up above you in faux contemplation.

“Alright, mama. I think I got what you need,” Eddie said when he looked back down into your eyes. He pushed himself off the bookshelf and turned around to where he had stored his metal lunchbox between some books. He reached in and pulled out a small Ziploc bag of round, white pills. “It’s uh, not quite smack, but it will make an impression.”

“W-What is it?” you asked timidly. You looked from the bag to Eddie, shifting your feet nervously. He raised his brows and looked at the pills in his hand before readjusting his stance.

“Well, that is your good ole’ government sanctioned amphetamine used to treat ADHD,” he grinned. “But a hit of this will have you hyper focused on whatever you need. Just go easy with it, though. Otherwise you’ll be up all night scrubbing your bathroom tile with a toothbrush.”

You smiled back at him sweetly, still holding your arms close to yourself as you get lost in his sparkling brown eyes. But you noticed that his eyes were tracing the shape of your pretty lips before stealing glances down at your chest. Your sweater fit tightly around your body, highlighting your generously endowed breasts; and if you were showing any cleavage, he probably wouldn’t be able to look anywhere else. You watched his gaze as you brought your arms up higher to cross them over your chest to conceal yourself more, but you were probably only making his mind race more.

“So…um, how much is it?” you asked quietly.

“The tabs? Uhhh,” Eddie was torn from his train of thought with your words and he shifted his footing to think of a price. He stepped back to eye your body up and down and you looked around in embarrassment as you waited for his response. “Hmm, you’re pretty small so I’m gonna recommend no more than 5mg. So that’ll be, let’s see…call it $25 for the bag. Should last you awhile.”

Damn, you never pay more than like $10 at a time for your weed, but of course this would be more expensive than pot. So stupid. Well you couldn’t back out now, since it was already Friday and the midterm was on Monday.

“Fuck…um, I didn’t bring that much…but, I really need this,” you said desperately, biting your lip nervously as you avoid making eye contact with Eddie. “Would…do you think…that maybe I could pay you…some other way?

You shut your eyes in embarrassment for a moment before timidly raising your eyes to meet his. He was standing there leaning against the bookcase with crossed arms, looking down at you with the the most cocky expression on his face. Fuck. What was this? Some cheesy porno movie where the ditzy housewife orders a pizza but doesn’t ‘have enough to pay him?’ He probably thinks you’re just another slutty cokehead who gives it up to any drug dealer. Eddie’s eyes trailed down to where you were biting your lip in anticipation of his answer and it makes him have to shift his legs.

“Don’t you have a boyfriend?” he said softly as his eyes narrowed at you. Shit. That’s right. You mentally kicked yourself for not thinking this through.

“Yeah, but…well, he’s so…soft,” you blushed as your secret thoughts formed into words. “He never wants to try anything exciting, and I’m…bored. I want to break up with him, but he just gets so jealous…”

You hung your head in humiliation at just confessing your disinterest in your boyfriend in front of a practical stranger. Eddie looked past your shoulder with narrowed eyes and a quizzical expression for only a second before he nodded like he just came to some mental conclusion, and the corner of his mouth tilted in a wicked grin. He stepped towards you and boxed you in against the opposite bookshelf, his one hand leaning against the panel of the bookcase with the other reaching his heavily ringed fingers to peel one of your long strands of hair off the front of your shoulder and discarded it on the ground. You licked your lips in a seductive manner as you shyly maintained eye contact. He smelled so fucking good with his cologne mixed with cigarette smoke and whatever heavenly shampoo he used. You could feel your panties just drenching in your arousal as he leaned in close to your ear, lips just barely ghosting over your skin and his long curls tickling your neck.

“Well, I can fight,” he growled darkly, and with one swift movement he had turned you around to face the book shelf and swiftly flipped up your skirt to expose your panties. You gasped in surprise and mock protested his actions at first, but the warmth you felt spreading between your legs at his aggressive handling was very telling. Your hands were supporting your weight on the shelf in front of you, and the books were separated just enough so that you could peek in between them to guard that the coast was clear. As soon as Eddie had spun you around, he made quick work of his belt and zipper, and was now pushing the lace hem of your panties down your thighs and kicking your feet apart slightly so he could position himself between your legs..

You tucked your bottom lip under your teeth in excitement, your wetness practically dripping down your legs as you waited for his commanding hands to find their place. He shifted your hips where he needed them before gripping onto your shoulder with one hand, and lining himself up with your weeping entrance with the other. Shit. This is so fucking primal, why does this feel so good? You inhaled sharply as you felt his tip slip through your folds and settle between your legs. You had to stand on your tip toes to allow him access, which he reminded you by assertively lifting you up by your hips.

“Good, you’re already soaked,” Eddie mumbled.

With the one hand on your shoulder, he bent you over the shelf while his other slowly guided his length past your slit. You hummed weakly at the sensation, before gasping loudly at him suddenly filling you up and bottoming out completely. Holy shit, this was really happening. You were getting fucked like a wild animal by Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson on school property, all for some drugs. It’s so wrong but why does it feel so right? You could barely contain your hushed cries and moans with every snap of his hips.

“Shut the fuck up, you want to get caught?'“ Eddie hissed as he stilled in you and reached around your shoulder to cup his hand over your mouth. You shook your head quickly into his palm before he straightened back up behind you. There wasn’t a whole lot of time to collect yourself before Eddie sped up his rough pace into your cunt. He rocked into you with enough force that the shelf on which you were leaning was wobbling and the books swayed dangerously. You reached through to grip the shelf from the back side to steady yourself and hopefully the books as well.

You could hear his satisfied grunts behind you, sending a thrilling jolt to your lower extremities and making your walls flutter around his firm length. Your boyfriend never manhandled you like that, and now you weren’t sure if you could ever go back to the boring missionary, lovey-dovey style love making with him. The way Eddie claimed your body like that was better than any drug he had to sell, and you reckoned you would probably be back for more—with just enough money that you came up short and had to pay him this way again. His relentless thrusting was fogging your mind and starting to send you over the edge.

You brought one hand to your mouth and bit down on your finger to stifle the pleasured moans. You could tell that Eddie was only using your cunt to get himself off, but that realization excited you and lit a fire in your belly to come apart around his cock. Your walls clenched around him as your knees trembled, and you could hear his cocky laugh behind you quietly. As your vision returned, you were still relishing in the sensation of him slamming into you with his determined rhythm and your jaw slacked open at the feeling.

“Silly girl…pull yourself together before someone hears you,” Eddie whispered gruffly as he gave you a few slow, deliberate strokes that really emphasized his size. Your eyes crossed and your eyelids drooped at the euphoric intensity of him sinking into you over and over. He’s one to talk. He was slamming into you with enough vigor that the soft clapping sound of skin to skin contact reverberated around the back aisle of the library. But somehow you could not care less at that moment while Eddie buried his thick member into your very core. He fucked you like he had been isolated on a desert island for years—hungry and desperate and just aching for release.

You had lost track of time in your fucked-out state. Your vision was blurred of everything but Eddie Fucking Munson and you just settled for laying your cheek down onto the shelf where every thrust nudged your head back and forth. Your mouth had relaxed to where your tongue lay lopsided and your saliva began to pool underneath you, and you didn’t give a fuck. His energetic pounding was the most glorious sensation you’ve ever experienced. It was sending you into ecstasy again and you didn’t even attempt to stifle your noises. Eddie bent over you again and put his soft lips against the shell of your ear.

“If I hear another sound from you, I’ll have to stuff that mouth full, okay baby?” he mumbled into your ear, using both a teasing tone and a tone of authority. He pulled back and moved his hands to grasp your hips like an animal and continued his self fulfilling strokes with what seemed like limitless stamina. You squeezed your eyes shut and focused all your concentration on keeping quiet while he drilled into you. The tension you were applying to his rock hard member made his hips studder as the blinding pleasure of your muscle sent him into a daze. His thrusts began to slow as he started to dispense his entire load into your used cunt. He stilled his movements and held your hips tightly against his as he buried his whole length in you to pump you completely full of his seed.

You could feel both of your bodies relax as he continued to spill into you. Fuck, his cock was still flexing, like he was dumping dozens of ropes into your poor hole. You shivered around Eddie’s cock as he slowly pulled himself out of you, leaving you open to drip a combination of your fluids onto the carpet below. As soon as you could close your legs, you hiked your panties back up to contain his seed before it could run down your legs. You flattened out your skirt and readjusted your sweater and hair while Eddie stuffed his dick back into his boxers and zipped himself up. Oh, God. You just let him cum in you! You didn't even try to stop him, you desperate slut.

“Yeah, here’s the pills, but uh…you can keep the rest of the cash,” Eddie laughed awkwardly as he tussled his long hair while handing you the small baggie from the metal lunchbox. “That fuck was more than enough for me…Oh, and uh…tell your boyfriend I hope he enjoys my contribution.”

He winked at you with a wide grin before leaning in to capture your lips in his in a deep kiss. He placed the Ziploc into your fist and left without another glance, eyeing down the pathway to check and see if anyone was around. He then casually exited the aisle without another word and headed for the door to leave the library while you took a minute to readjust your clothing so you could leave as nonchalantly as possible. Hopefully his excess seed would stay contained in your underwear until you could make your way to the bathroom and get yourself cleaned up. God, if these pills made you feel even half as good as you felt right then, you’d be hooked for life.

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading! If you like my writing, check out my other works.

[chocodile]

“You didn’t do too badly at all, you know.”

Theo shivered, his nose wrinkling in disgust. He had to be lying.

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” He replied, his tone defensive and terse.

Hyden paused what he was doing and turned his pale gaze upwards toward Theo, his eyebrows raised. “No, I meant it. The positioning is correct. The implant healed well. The veins are active and flush with blood… and you can channel spells through it, yes? That would not be possible if the procedure had not been broadly successful.”

Theo couldn’t argue with that.

He looked down at the table. Hyden took his small hand again and turned it over and over in his massive paws, delicately tracing over veins and scars with his thick, black nails, each one nearly the size of Theo’s own fingertip. Ugh, it was so embarrassing. Showing his hands to somebody—there was reason enough not to do so under normal circumstances, but now, showing his faulty catalyst stone—to Duke Hyden, of all people—it was downright humiliating.

“I can tell you are struggling to believe me, North. But, all things considered—it really is quite impressive work, do you understand? Really.” Hyden was still looking at him. Theo could feel the older man’s uncanny, piercing gaze boring into the side of his head, but he still didn’t meet it. “You did not have the proper resources, but you improvised. Lost technology, yes… always a complication… but I can tell that you were quite thorough in your research. It truly is commendable… to do something that nobody has done in decades… centuries, perhaps! Very commendable indeed.” Hyden gently palpated the back of Theo’s hand with his fingers, trying to get a feel for what was beneath the skin. Theo shivered again.

“In fact… I dare say your foray into forgotten magic has caused orders of magnitude fewer negative repercussions than my own.” Hyden added, a wry note in his voice. At this, Theo did look up, but now it was Hyden who wasn’t meeting his gaze. He was staring at Theo’s catalyst stone, his mouth drawn in what could be the hint of a smile, or the hint of a grimace. Theo wasn’t sure.

“Eh-hrrm... kkkh. I… I suppose. But I was only—I mean… you shouldn’t speak ill of yourself, Your Grace. You… you couldn’t have known about the Shadow’s…”

“Oh, don’t worry. It was only a joke.” Hyden smiled, showing teeth. “Let’s not dwell on such things right now. We have work to do here, yes?”

“E-hrk.. W-we do?” Theo’s eyebrows raised.

“Of course! Commendably ambitious as you were, to one so experienced as myself, your mistakes are plain to see. You certainly have the skill, but I possess the knowledge you were missing. We can right this, yes? Just a simple adjustment to the containment charm that keeps the energy backflow from seeping out into the surrounding tissue. Do you understand?”

“Are you… are you saying you can fix it?”

“Certainly. Perhaps not undo the damage already done… healing is not my forte. But I—we—can stop the contaminant from spreading any further into the tissue. No need for you to continue suffering, yes?”

“I…” Theo trailed off, unsure how to respond. It was quite an offer. “You—we… we would be… altering the containment charm only, correct? Not… not removing the stone?”

“Correct.” Hyden confirmed.

“Good. I- I wouldn’t want it removed.”

“Of course not… of course. I understand completely. Parting a wizard from his catalyst stone would be a terrible crime indeed.” This time, Hyden’s wry smile was clear as he tapped the visibly cracked gemstone on his own forehead. “I would never dream of inflicting such a cruelty upon a companion. And besides, a bonded stone like this would be quite useless once separated from its host. Tissue damage or no, it would be a terrible shame to destroy such a rare and valuable artifact by removing it. Best to just reseal it as needed… wouldn’t you agree?”

Hyden leaned back, the antique chair creaking ominously under his considerable bulk. “Now, my joints are acting up… and I’m certain that poor Miss Alex would experience a fatal brain embolism were she were to come in here and see me sifting through your spell ingredients besides. So, North, I will require you to retrieve… ah, let’s say, a milligram of powdered ruby, five... mm, five and a quarter milliliters of animal blood, and… do you have wyrmroot? Fantastically easy to work with, wyrmroot… always a favorite of mine! Failing that, a different specimen from the dragonsbane family would suffice.”

“Of course, Your Grace.”

Theo scooted off of his own chair and dropped to the floor with a soft tap. Leaving Hyden to his back pain, the rat made his way over to the chest of drawers that housed his spell ingredients, peering at the faded labels in search of what his mentor had requested. He found the ruby and animal blood easily enough, but the dragonsbane root… that one, he wasn’t so sure of. It was something he hadn’t used in a great many years, and even the lower quality trimmings from that genus were often prohibitively expensive. He was just beginning to fear that he might have to admit that he didn’t have it when his eyes fell upon a faded label that made his heart skip a beat. On the very edge of the bottom row, in an elegant but shaky cursive script: “Wyrmroot”—his mother’s handwriting.

Theo paused to tenderly run his fingertip over the peeling label before opening the drawer. Sure enough, there was a small, dusty, shriveled piece of root inside. It must have been there for nearly a decade at minimum. He carefully picked it up and turned it over in his hands, examining it. Even now, one end of it bore a clean, well-measured cut—one that had undoubtedly been made by her hands. It almost seemed a crime to use it… but he knew she would have wanted this.

“Ah, wyrmroot! You found some after all! You know, I’d half-feared that it may have gone extinct like so many other useful botanical strains from my era. Excellent work, North! Excellent indeed!” Hyden’s jovial words jostled Theo out of his fog. “Well, hurry up now, my boy, bring it all over here! Let’s go on and get started!”

Hyden craned his long, shaggy neck over the back of his chair, watching Theo as he made his way back to the table. Noting a change in the rat’s demeanor, his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly.

Theo began to arrange the ingredients and tools while Hyden took a piece of parchment and began to carefully draw a spell circle. Though his hands seemed stiff and somewhat shaky, the rabbit moved with a slow, practiced confidence, clutching a tiny, Theo-sized piece of chalk between two enormous, beringed fingers as he laid out several concentric rings and a few simple runes. With the groundwork complete, he pushed the parchment back toward Theo. “Now, North, I will require you to do the rest. The runes for blood and gemstone here, and a rune for captivity here and here. Then, connect them each with the symbol of bonding. My hands are not what they used to be, as you know… and given the nature of what we are attempting, it would behoove us to write neatly.”

Hyden watched as Theo laid out the remaining runes, nodding approvingly to himself as he watched the younger wizard work.

“You know, North… I’ve been wondering. Deciding to implant a catalyst stone… that is a curious choice for one such as yourself, is it not? Given their relative scarcity in the present day and the lack of technical documentation… the benefits of direct implantation seem marginal, from my perspective. If I might ask, what compelled you to attempt it? Intellectual curiosity? Or something else?”

Theo glanced up at Hyden. The rabbit was looming over him, his thick arms crossed over his wide body and his pale blue eyes boring into him yet again. Theo immediately turned his gaze away, looking back down at his paper.

“The stone… it was my mother’s. After she… passed… I… wanted to keep it… safe. Close.”

“I see. So, concerns of theft, then? I understand. They are quite valuable.”

“…Partially. But also, I wanted her to be… nngh. Never mind.” I wanted her to be with me forever, Theo thought. But he didn’t say it. He pointed turned his nose downward, determined to get back to work on his runes.

Hyden was left to watch in quiet, silently puzzling over Theo’s words. After a few long moments, he spoke again.

“I did notice that some of your ingredient labels… the older pages in your spellbook… portions appeared to be written by a different hand. That would be your mother, then?”

“…Yes.”

“She was quite a knowledgeable witch in her own right, it appears.”

“Yes… exceptionally. She was… she was wonderful.”

“How interesting. I would have liked to meet her.”

[arctichotch]

cillian murphy fluff alphabet

now, i am not really someone to write about real people however i have been on a cillian murphy phase since i saw a quiet place 2 and it just won’t go away so i tried writing to see what happened. 

i know cillian is a quiet, private guy and i beyond respect that and the fact he has a family and i just want it to be known i mean no harm or disrespect by writing about him. just trying to channel my ‘obsession’ into something creative or whatever. enjoy

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

He loves your passion for everything in your life. Your friends, family, hobbies, for your relationship with him. He loves that you care so much about things other people wouldn’t notice. He also loves how kind and giving you are to those in your life.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

He loves all of your body of course, but perhaps his favourite is your hands. He loves to hold them and he loves to feel them running through his hair in the morning before he’s even fully woken up.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

He is a koala bear. He attaches himself to you without even thinking about it. In the mornings you wake up with him practically on top of you, his legs wrapped in yours and his arms around you. He just loves cuddling and you love how soft and comfortable he is when it’s just you two at home.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

He’s a traditional kinda guy, he likes to go for walks and nice romantic dinners. He likes to try to stay out of the media as much as he can so if he’s afraid of a media circus he’ll like to stay home and cook for you both and then watch a movie or something like that.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

He’s very open and  communicative. If there’s an issue he likes to talk it out with you. He’s mature, and despite your younger age you are too and that’s why your relationship works. You both make a conscious effort to communicate and share whatever you are feeling, especially if they are negative emotions.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

Cillian would love to have a family with you but if you don’t want that then that’s cool too! He has his boys and is happy with whatever you decide.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

He loves gifts, he thinks of it as yet another way to show his love for you. He doesn’t go wild but he loves to treat you every now and then with whatever you want!

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

He loves to hold hands. It’s a pretty mild show of PDA so he doesn’t mind doing it in public. It helps him feel grounded in the wildness of going out.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

I think he’d panic quietly but remain calm on the outside. He’d do anything he could in helping you get better.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Sometimes but not too often. I don’t really know what else to say for this one I have no idea tbh

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

He loves kissing you. Little kisses in the morning over breakfast chats and full on, heavy makeouts on the couch in the evenings. He just loves kissing you.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

In so many ways. He does so much, small touches, helping you when you’re tired, constant texts and calls when you are away from eachother.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

Probably when you both were out for a walk and he finally gathered his nerves enough to kiss you for the first time as you reached the peak of the mountain.

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

Losing someone he loves.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

He’s constantly talking to himself. You’ll be coming down the stairs and hear him talking and think he’s on the phone or someone is visiting so you’ll be quiet but you’ll walk in and see he’s alone, just talking to himself. You just laugh and go over and kiss him on the cheek because it is such an endearing habit.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

Love, darling, any other like personal nickname you may have

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

He loves to show you movies he enjoys and taking you to the cinema to see new movies. He tells you all about what he liked about the script and the directing. You love watching him so in his element. He also loves to show you music he grew up listening to.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

(literally can not think of anything my creative well has run dry i think)

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

Very open. Cillian doesn’t really see the point in keeping secrets from you since you are the person he trusts most in the world.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

Bloody ages! You both kept denying the feelings that were building up between you. Everyone around you was patiently waiting for you both to finally get together and were relieved when you finally did.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

He gets a bit quiet and loses his energy. He likes to hang around and do things he enjoys with you.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

He’s proud of his career and how he manages to balance his public life with his private life. He doesn’t like to flaunt about with anything in his life and likes to keep his relationship with you as private as possible.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

He’s not much of a fighter, in fact, you both barely have proper fights, more just minor disagreements. He would fight beside you for the rest of your lives together if that’s what you needed.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

Very well. He knows exactly what you need when you’re feeling down and knows exactly how to tell how you are feeling.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

He’d take you on a walk up the mountain where you had your first kiss and drop to one knee as you’re looking out at the view of the Irish landscape.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Hanging out on the couch with you running your hands through his hair while you both watch some mindless comedy that’s on the tv. It’s all he wants after a tough time doing boring interviews he doesn’t care about at all.

[rosy-cheekx]

for the kiss prompts... 16 with jonmartin?

Combined this New Years Kiss prompt with @ombreblossom‘s prompt for “a giggly kiss" and an anon prompt: “I wish you would write a fic where martin scoops Jon into his arms and Jon realizes how strong he is” damn if i dont deliver

Just a good vibes fic while I’m dying over the pre-finals stress. Check on your friendly neighborhood psychology students, especially juniors. They’re a-struggling. 

Enjoy!!

Resolutions, 2.2k

CW: alcohol

--

“Happy New Year’s Eve!”

Jon wasn’t sure what he expected of Tim’s house. Maybe something haphazardly designed, with takeaway menus pinned to the fridge? Maybe the epitome of the bachelor pad?

He definitely hadn’t expected the open floorplan, spotlessly cleaned and well-organized, with furniture complementary to the walls and each other. Warm light spilled from every lamp, with purple and silver decorations inscribed with “2015” and “Happy New Years” dangling from almost every surface.

“You can close your mouth now, buddy,” Tim elbowed him lightly. “I keep my spaces clean, what can I say?”

Jon clamped his teeth back together and held out a bottle of white wine mechanically. “I brought this. Er, sorry I’m late.”

Tim shook his head jovially, taking Jon’s coat and scarf along with the wine, before handing the bottle back to him. “Party’s just getting started. We’ve been drinking a bit, playing some games.” He winked before nudging him toward the couches, where Sasha’s dark curls were just visible. “Go on, I’ll be right behind. They’ll be happy to see you!”

“Jon!” The man in question jumped and craned his neck to see Martin—or, more rightly, his hand—from over the edge of the couch cushions. “Good, you’re here! Sash and Tim are kicking my ass in Scrabble.”

Jon approached the living room, spying Martin, sitting on the floor in front of a coffee table, another bottle of white wine between him and Sasha, along with the aforementioned Scrabble board. “Scrabble isn’t a team sport?”

“Hey, Jon. Ooh, more wine, thank god, this one’s just gone.” Sasha scrunched her nose with her greeting, reaching for the bottle in his hands. “And no, it’s not,” she continued as she spun a corkscrew between her fingers. “But Tim is missing like half the tiles so we can’t play four.”

“Tim’n’Sash ganged up on me,” Martin mumbled, the edges of his words softened, Jon assumed, by wine. “I didn’t even—I’m new to research, issnot fair.”

Sasha pulled the cork from the wine as Tim leapt over the cushion of the suede couch, landing neatly next to her. “I told you, you would get Jon when he showed up, which evens it out anyways. Stop pouting.”

“Am not.”

Jon folded his legs beneath his hips as he sat, examining the board and taking a proffered glass from Sasha’s hands. “Don’t worry, Martin,” he offered, smiling gently at the man, taking in the flush of his face and the rolled sleeves of his dress shirt—maroon, he filed away. Looks good with his hair. “We’ve just got to last long enough before Tim gets drunk or bored and starts to throw letters at us. Did he tell you that’s why they’re missing?”

Martin laughed aloud and the noise caught Jon off guard. It was a low, warm sound, loud in a way that suited the man. Jon smiled to himself, proud.

“I do-I do not,” spluttered Tim, pointedly ignoring Sasha’s raised eyebrow. “…I stopped that when we were down to one W.”

Jon nudged Martin, gesturing for the block of letters in front of him. “You’ll see. Our turn?”

--

Eight rounds, three glasses of wine, and a dodge from the letter E later, Jon was feeling properly comfortable. They were all properly buzzed, if not a little tipsy, and the clock ticked steadily closer to midnight. Martin and Jon had continued to be partners for all the other games they played: Charades, Pictionary, and a silly game Sasha had made up where they had to describe concepts like colors or sounds, without using words directly related to them. Martin had carried their team for that game, explaining through an embarrassed blush that he liked to read a lot of poetry. Jon elected to ignore that statement, though he was grateful for the edge it gave them; his competitive streak was willing to ignore a multitude of sins.

At 11:15, Tim flipped through the television programs, searching for one doing a proper countdown. One of the BBC Music channels was playing a Countdown playlist, with an eclectic variety of music on the playlist if the presented queue was any indication. Remote in hand, Tim spun on his heel, lip-syncing voraciously to the song, some dreadfully cheesy rock ballad. In turn, he focused on Sasha, then Jon, then Martin, hand outstretched to each of them in a mockery of longing. When he turned his attention back to Sasha, the chorus swelled and she took his hand, swinging herself under his arm with a grin on her face. Jon settled into the couch cushions, a warmth running through his chest as he watched the two spin with each other in a pseudo-dance. Martin sipped his glass of water on the other end of the couch, seemingly as happy as Jon to just watch.

As the song ended, the rock ballad was replaced by a pop song, one Jon didn’t know but it was apparent everyone else did. Tim sang along in a horrendous shout-sing, and Sasha grabbed Martin’s hand, tugging on it lightly. Martin rolled his eyes, resisting briefly as Sasha wordlessly argued with him, but her will was stronger and he laughed softly as she pulled him to his feet and jumped around to the beat, air-guitaring in circles around him. Eventually, Martin closed his eyes and leant into the dance, reminding Jon vaguely of his club days with Georgie, the dozens of hot, sweaty young adults without a care in the world of who saw them dance. And, most importantly, dance badly. Martin was truly terrible, but Jon was unable to tear his gaze away. He wasn’t matching the tempo and he knew about half the words as he joined Tim in singing the chorus, but there was something about him that was absolutely intoxicating, more than the wine Jon had consumed.

The Beatles played next, and of course Jon knew them. They had been his grandmother’s favorite, and for good reason. He hadn’t even realized he was singing under his breath to Come Together until Tim’s TV remote was shoved under his lips unceremoniously. Without thinking, he accepted the faux-microphone and joined the trio, standing from the couch to the coffee table in socked feet. As he sang, voice growing in intensity, he swung his arms wide, the images of clubs and dancers and stages at the forefront of his mind.

When the song ended, Jon was breathless, and the smattered applause from his friends brought him out of his reverie. He blushed, suddenly acutely aware of the blood rushing through his body and the heart that was pumping it. he handed the remote to Tim and moved to step off the table, chewing on his lip as he did so. Before he could make the awkward step to the floor below, he yelped as he was suddenly swept off balance. The spinning of his mind, thanks to the alcohol, confused him briefly before he realized he hadn’t fallen and was actually being clutched in a pair of strong arms, bridal-style. Martin’s arms, to be precise. His brow was furrowed in concentration, though he held Jon like he weighed almost nothing.

“Ah, you said you didn’t want to fall.” Martin shrugged and bounced Jon in his arms slightly as if that explained everything.

He had? “Mmm-thank you Mar’n,” Jon murmured, eyes unsure where to land and deciding on a loose curl that hung over Martin’s forehead. He wanted to pull it, Jon realized, and he did so, gently, giving the coil a tug, and giggled to himself as it sprang back in place. Martin was a lot stronger than Jon gave him credit for, and warmer too, though that may have been the alcohol. It was nice, being held like that, and Jon felt himself nestle towards the heat of Martin’s barreled chest without thinking about it.

Tim and Sasha, to Jon’s relief, hadn’t seemed to notice, deep in conversation. Martin deposited Jon safely on the couch and slumped next to him, unbuttoning his collar a little more and turning his attention quite intently to his phone.

The music carried on, and Jon was pulled into a few more dances with Sasha and Tim but felt himself gravitating towards Martin as the hour pursued, making excuses to scoot closer on the couch. A few videos of kittens later, he was properly next to him, watching Tim and Sasha tango to Britney Spears and the clock that ticked steadily towards midnight.

As 11:50 hit, Tim lowered the volume and flopped next to Jon, sweat beading on his forehead. “Alright, mates, resolutions for 2015, go.” He popped a grape from the platter that rested on the chair nearby. “Mine’s to get outside more, I haven’t been able to get out of London much. Maybe go backpacking, see the world.”

Sasha shrugged and perched on the armrest of the couch, feet resting on the cushion next to Tim. “Patience, I think. Listening to people better.”

Jon surprised himself by speaking. “Work-life balance,” he mumbled, dragging his eyes from the coffee table to meet Tim’s curious expression. “It’s not like Elias cares much what the researchers do.”

“Hell yeah, mate!” Tim clapped him on the back. “Maybe you’ll finally come dancing with me. You’ve clearly got the skills.” He turned his attention to the final member of their party. “Marto? What about you?”

Martin shrugged, lips pursed in thought. “Mm, be more honest with people, I think.”

Tim nodded excitedly. “Oh yes, I would love to see Martin Blackwood, The Director’s Cut.”

The ginger shrugged. “I don’t think you’re missing much, honestly, just maybe a little more negativity, a little more feeling.”

“Regardless,” Tim waved the thought away. “Can’t wait to see it.” He cast his eyes to the ceiling and crossed his arms under his chest. “What do you think the illustrious Elias Bouchard does on holiday? I swear that man lives and breathes Magnus Institute.”

Sasha grinned. “Bet he wears nothing but a silk robe, with the Magnus owl embroidered on the chest, skulking around the house and drinking scotch, grumbling about budgets and paranormal stories.”

“Bet he has a cat he strokes menacingly while watching the stock market,” Martin added, sighing. “We can agree he’s a total Tory, right?”

“Oh, for sure,” came a chorus of affirmation.

The group sat in comfortable silence as an upbeat love song played on the television. Jon’s eyes were starting to feel heavy, like how they felt when he got them dilated at the optometrist. Midnight couldn’t come soon enough.

“Hey, guys?” The voice from his right was quiet, hesitant. Martin’s eyes were glassy, phone abandoned on his lap. “I’m really happy to be here, with you all.”

“Martin!” Sasha and Tim cooed happily, rushing to coat his words in affirmations and gentle kindness, sweet gifts with which to end the year. Jon opted for a quieter approach, not the verbally affectionate kind of man, placing a hand over Martin’s gently, squeezing his wrist once. He wasn’t even sure if Martin noticed it—he didn’t move his hand before Tim was shouting, hauling them up as 11:59 flashed on the screen and a countdown began to shout its way from 59 on the screen.

“Come on!” Tim crowed. “My mum always said you can’t stand still when midnight hits, or it’s bad luck. Something about starting the year moving.” Tim led them all in a sort of march, stomping forward and back, spinning in circles, and swinging each of his friends under his arms, though Martin had to duck rather considerably. All four of the research staff members were laughing through their words as they tried to add their discordant shouting to the last few numbers on the TV.

“Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” Tim grabbed Sasha around her waist and dipped her low as he kissed her, both grinning into the kiss. Jon chuckled and shook his head at the pair, before feeling the hand that was still on his tug gently.

“I-I said I wanted to be more honest,” Martin murmured, voice low in his throat. Jon nodded wordlessly, indicating for him to go on. His words seemed caught somehow.

“If I’m honest,” Martin continued, eyes flitting over Jon’s face before landing back on his eyes. “I really want to kiss you.”

Jon giggled, actually giggled at Martin’s words, the boldness of the wine piloting his voice for a moment. “What are you waiting for?”

So Martin did, one hand on Jon’s waist and one tangled in the hair behind his ears, pressing Jon close and up towards his lips. It was a warm kiss, soft and gentle, and Jon’s head was spinning, not from the buzz or the dancing but from the four points of contact he had with MartinMartinMartin Blackwood is kissing me and Martin’s hand is on my waist and my hand is on Martin’s cheek and his skin is so soft I think I could kiss him forever. Screw 2015; I’ll come back for 2016 and just kiss Martin for a year—

Martin pulled away, smiling down at Jon with a look of utter adoration. “Happy New Year,” he breathed. “Here’s to 2015.”

“H-Happy New Year,” Jon returned, ducking his head shyly at the gaze Martin was casting on him. “Let’s hope it’s a good one.”

[hecticcheer]

Abyss of Possibilities (T/M/A fic)

Finished the platonic Jon&Daisy sickfic thing!! This was based on an emeto prompt,* but I’m posting it here instead of on shiftytracts because. Frankly it comes out a lot better when considered as h/c or whump than as emeto/kink fic. As usual w/ me, I set out to write the latter and instead got? 4.6k of Daisy character study whose external plot happens to be that Jon throws up? Ft. also a little Melanie&Helen friendship. It’s not bad as a story though so I’m posting it anyway.

--

Basira was out on another mysterious errand, which Daisy figured put her and Jon in about the same wretched position. Scratching and baying at the doors of their owners’ empty houses. Commiserating with him seemed a better use of her time. What was more, Jon had spent all day wobbly and coughing—fingertips leaving trails of slime on everything he touched like a snail—and she still couldn’t stand to see that in a person she’d made one of her own. (Monster she’d made one of her own. Whichever.) So after one of his more pathetic fits of coughing she’d decided to make them both tea. It started out as an excuse to leave the room; in fact she’d told him she’d had to pee. But when she’d come to the fork in the hallway her legs had taken her several steps past the turning for the bathroom before she’d noticed her mistake, and, yeah, well. Steps were a limited resource these days. So she’d talked herself into going to the break room for tea instead, and figured if she made Jon some too then.

Well—it was just?—she felt like a hypocrite, alright. She’d told Jon in the coffin that she didn’t want to hobble around like wounded prey any more than she wanted to become a hunter again, but, since he’d pulled her out she’d pretty clearly picked the prey side? Complete with literal hobbling, especially those first few weeks. And he was good to her about it. She wasn’t sure she wanted to despise weak people anymore. It troubled her to know that was her—that she’d still felt it in the coffin where her thoughts were all her own.

Daisy managed to stay upright unsupported while the kettle boiled—hadn’t even had to take a break to sit before turning it on. But while waiting for their teas to steep she leant her palms on the low, cool countertop, even though shifting her weight to them at once made her upper arms ache a little. The muscles of her calves dully throbbed, and her ankles itched. She swore she could feel them swelling. Could picture the mottled pattern of orange and purple her legs must be turning, like the wallpaper at one of those cafés that haven’t been redone since before she was born. They’d told her at PT that the muscle atrophy would take a long time to repair, but that these other issues should go away on their own after a few weeks. It had seemed to improve, at first. Getting worse again now though.

When she got back to his office she found Jon frozen halfway through peeling himself back off his desk, elbows wobbling, like an old dog on a slippery floor. Must’ve Seen her coming back, she figured. He did a little smile, but that didn’t last long. “Here,” she informed him, setting the worse of two novelty mugs in front of him. “Tea.”

“Oh!” Jon’s eyes went wide; he didn’t smile again, but looked almost frightened. Like she’d opened an abyss of possibilities. The mug said #1 Pervert, with the 1 wearing an evil smile and a trench coat held wide open. This seemed to faze Jon not at all.

“It’s just tea. No need to look like that.”

“R-right. Thanks?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, sure. Now drink up, it’ll help with your.”

“Oh,” Jon said again. “Yes.”

He picked up the mug, looked inside, then set it back down without drinking any. Daisy got halfway through a sigh before worrying this counted as despising him, then made herself laugh instead and pat the back of his hand: “That’s the spirit.” Jon flinched, but seemed to want to own that no more than she wanted to own her sigh. He closed his eyes, and his hand relaxed under hers. Breath seemed to whistle and crunch on its way out his nose.

“You ill?”

“Wha—?”

“I said are you ill.”

Another half second of smile. “Maybe.”

“Hm. Good sign, right?” Jon blinked at her. “A point in the still-human column.”

“R…ight,” he said. The way his eyes changed made her suspect he had more to say on that, but for once in his life Jon seemed not to feel like talking.

“Take a break. Archers’ll be on soon.”

Usually when she mentioned The Archers Jon would do a whole big dramatic show of disgust, a long sigh or a snarl or a choking noise or at least an eye-roll. He exhaled, now, but shortly; it flared his nostrils a little, but that seemed all the drama he could muster. “Thought you heard it last night.”

“You didn’t, though,” Daisy grinned. “Get confused if you don’t keep up.”

They’d had this conversation before; he knew his next line. But his voice caught on something about three words in: “You seemed to”—swallow; another deep, crunchy exhale—“you seemed to do alright after eight months under a rock.”

“You’ll have unanswered questions. Can’t compel the radio.”

Another swallow, then a throat clearing. “Fine.”

Daisy stood and waded toward the couch in the opposite corner of his office, where he’d slept since he woke up after the Unknowing. By the time she took her seat and looked back, Jon had stood from his desk chair but not yet moved. Just stood there with his hands on the chair’s back, staring off into nothing. Typical. But she knew he did no better than her with standing still for long periods, lately. She thumped on the arm of the couch to snap him out of his trance. “Come here, Jon.” It worked; he blinked to life, gave her a disorganized smile, and slunk over to join her. When he sat his legs shook the whole couch. He sat down at the far end, as often, but, no more unusually, when she scooted closer so their legs and shoulders touched he leant his head toward hers til his hair crunched against the outside of her ear. Daisy patted his leg with one hand, and reached for his clock radio with the other. (This was one of few non-clothing items he’d bothered to replace when he lost his flat. Apparently its alarm made the only noise he trusted himself to take seriously as a wake-up call; every other one he had tried he would sleep through, either accidentally or out of spite.) She set it on her knee so she could monitor the time, but kept the radio muted for now. Only 1:43.

By 1:49 she noticed Jon starting to nod off; by 1:54 his chin seemed stuck to his chest for good. At 2:02 she turned up the volume dial on his radio, and, sure enough, heard the Archers theme song. Considered just turning it up loud enough to wake Jon, but figured he’d be certain to sleep through that out of spite. So she shook him by the shoulder instead. “Oi! Ceaseless watcher!”

“Mmmnnnwha? Oh,” Jon said, straightening. Then he bent forward to cough again. Daisy channeled her urge to snarl into a laugh, telling herself she felt sorry rather than annoyed.

His cough seemed stuck, just like it had all day but more so. It was almost all voice—none of that other, less personal noise a satisfying cough makes. She wondered if he was trying to keep quiet for her benefit. “Come on, let it out,” she told him, thumping the back of his shoulder—and he did.

Almost as soon as she touched him, he made another noise more like—well, more like the sounds they’d both made underground. Or like when she’d cut him, back before.

Anyway, and then a splash. And then a stench. Daisy yelped and flung her legs out of the way; the radio went silent as the clock’s plug flew out of the wall.

“Oh shit!”

Between dry heaves and gasps for breath Jon croaked, “Not technically.”

She barked a laugh—through her mouth, not her nose—but held back the impulse to elbow him. Learnt that lesson, thanks. Just kept her hand on his shoulder instead, fanning her fingers back and forth in a semi-circle like windshield wipers. Meanwhile she surveyed the damage he’d made. The clock itself seemed miraculously unharmed, dangling by its cord between her knees. Only a little of the cord had fallen into the puddle—unfortunately including the plug. That’d be a bitch to clean up. Should she try to get the smell out or just buy him a new one, she wondered.

Her shoes had fared pretty well, too. Only one fat droplet on the right one’s toe, where it’d come off easy. His might be ruined though—and the socks. Poor bastard picked a hell of a day for white socks. The trousers might survive; vomit washed out easier than blood.

Beside her, Jon seemed to have quit dry heaving. Now he just panted, and said, “Ugh.”

“Done?”

“Think so,” he said in his hoarsest voice; “sorry.”

He set his palm down on the arm of the couch, apparently plotting how to stand without slipping in puke. Daisy moved her hand from his shoulder inward, to the place where his neckbones turned into backbones, and pressed him gently downward. “Never mind; I’ll clean it up. You stay here.”

Jon said nothing, but didn’t move either. Not even a flinch. Daisy slid to the end of the couch farthest from him and his puddle, stood, and crept past it on the balls of her feet, careful to avoid all the puddle’s little splattery fingers.

This was the first Archives mess Daisy’d ever volunteered to clean; only after she’d closed the door of Jon’s office behind her did she realize she should’ve asked him where they kept the mops and buckets. Probably outside the Archives proper, near the boiler and all that crap. Her stomach dropped—settling halfway down her legs, like all her innards did these days when she stood up. Melanie’s desk was empty, but Daisy shouted for her just in case.

The first door Daisy encountered whose destination she didn’t already know led to… a long corridor full of more doors. “Hi, Helen. Melanie in here with you?”

Melanie emerged, not from any of the doors Daisy could see, but from what looked to Daisy like the blank wall in between them. Just the perspective, part of Daisy’s mind rushed in to inform her. She closed her eyes so she could roll them at this part unseen.

“Daisy, hi,” said Melanie. “What’re you doing here, I didn’t think….”

“I invited her in.” Daisy heard the words a full second before she saw Helen emerge from a picture frame in the corridor’s opposite wall. “She was looking for an unfamiliar door. It seemed only polite to offer one of mine.” Helen said this with her head cocked to one side, coiled hands facing the other. Her left elbow disappeared into the wall.

Daisy made herself look into a framed mirror on the opposite wall instead of at Helen herself. Except the mirror didn’t show Daisy or Melanie or Helen—just the floor and other wall of this same corridor. Except also that in what passed here for real life the wall was a dark, 70s yellow, while, in the mirror or picture or whatever, it was more like highlighter yellow. What she saw in the frame still moved like a reflection though, not like a painting.

It was hard for Daisy, still, to be around… beings like the Distortion. Monsters used to be so simple. See someone glitching through the wall? Great; that means they need to die. Not like she’d never cooperated with an enemy before, just. Helen maybe wasn’t an enemy? And Jon was the only non-enemy monster she knew how to interact with. Jon was one of hers, now; he was a friend, the opposite of an enemy. But Helen, God, who knew. Stranded in the middle somewhere. Around Helen Daisy felt like the last person standing in musical chairs.

She shifted on her feet; her ankles still itched, but her toes had gone numb and cold. “I was looking for a mop,” she corrected.

When she looked back over at Melanie and Helen she found them sat on an invisible bench. She glanced back at the mirror. A wooden bench with green velour cushions. Made sense enough. Melanie still had her cane, after Jon and Basira’s whole surgery debacle; she wouldn’t come in here so often if it had nowhere to sit. If Daisy squatted down would another bench appear beneath her?

“Oh,” said Melanie; “yeah, there should be one in the broom cupboard. You remember how to get to Artefact Storage, right?” Daisy nodded. “Well it’s the last door on the left before you get there.”

“Right. Thanks.”

“No problem. What do you need the mop for?—is it—do you need some help?”

Daisy said, too quickly, “No I’ve got it.” Then worried Melanie might think she was hiding something of hers or Jon’s more sinister than dignity. She let out a long breath through her nose, lifted her foot and pointed at the circle of puke on her shoe. “Nothing big. Jon just threw up all over his office.”

“Statements gone moldy?” asked Helen, in that voice of hers like a doorbell.

“Oh, god, yeah—did he finally find that Corruption statement covered in actual mold?”

“Thought Martin burned that one?”

Melanie sighed. “No. Said he didn’t want to stink up Jon’s office.”

“Yeah, well,” Daisy scoffed.

“Probably just didn’t want to burn any that weren’t already on tape,” muttered Melanie. “Got him to burn the first one I ever recorded, though. That one about the stupid blanket.” She scuffed the carpet with her foot, crossed her arms, and leant the back of her head against the wall. “So. What’s wrong with Jon this time.”

“Don’t know,” said Daisy, shrugging; “think he’s just ill.”

“Huh. Wait—human ill or monster ill?”

“Don’t know. Didn’t ask.”

“It can be hard to tell,” allowed Helen. “They look remarkably similar. The first time Michael lost his lunch after he became me he thought his sick would have comic-book stink lines curling up off it. Terrible disappointment.”

Don’t ask what “lunch” means, Daisy told herself, scratching lightly at the pad of her thumb with her middle fingernail. Not your business, not anymore.

Meanwhile Melanie cackled and stamped her foot. “What about Helen?”

“She hoped she could click our fingers and make it disappear.”

Now Daisy smiled too. “Have to try that with Jon’s.”

(“Or turn to gold,” mused Helen, chin resting in the palm of a hand so long she could still click its fingers without their nails poking her face.)

“So you’re cleaning it up for him?”

“Apparently.”

“Typical,” growled Melanie; Daisy could see another I-hate-the-Archives rant on the horizon.

“I chose to do it; it’s not like he made me.”

“That’s what people always say about him!” Melanie squawked, her fingers curled like claws. Her voice had begun to climb not only in volume, but pitch too, the way it did when she hoped to pass off real anger as jokey anger. “He’s a grown man—why can’t he keep his messes to himself?”

“Yeah, well, he’s cleaned up enough of mine,” shrugged Daisy. “You all have,” she added, remembering her first week out of the coffin, when Melanie and Basira had had to follow her and Jon around the Archives with brooms. Every morning Basira had shaken her cot and pillow cases and sleeping bags over a bin to tease out clods of dirt. And Daisy herself had never even learnt where the broom cupboard was. “I don’t mind returning the favor.”

“You don’t owe him anything,” Melanie pleaded. “You’re talking about the coffin, right? But it’s his fault you got trapped in there in the first place!”

Daisy had no reply to this; she remembered asking herself whose fault it was she had died (as she’d thought of it then), while trapped in the Buried, but couldn’t remember what conclusion she had come to. Since she’d got out she’d rather enjoyed not having to think about it. Maybe she could put questions of blame off to one side, in the Hunt pile, and focus her energy on the Daisy pile.

“Last door on the left before you hit Artefact Storage, right?”

“Yup!” she heard Helen chime on her way out.

Of course, the second she stepped out of the corridors she thought of a good comeback: Guess he did clean that one up then.

To revenge herself for that detour she let herself sit on Melanie’s desk a minute before continuing. Good thing, too: carrying even a dry mop and bucket back to Jon’s office took more out of her than she’d remembered to anticipate. When already dizzy and aching she found the smell of his puke overwhelming. If he notices, blame it on the Hunt, she told herself. It took constant effort to remember to breathe through her mouth rather than just holding it.

Jon looked up when she came in, and smiled a glum thank you, but then returned to the position he must have taken up while she was out: head on his knees, arms crossed between torso and legs. So when she’d mopped up everywhere else, she had to tell him, “Shoes.”

He lifted his head and looked up at her through the gap between curtains of hair. “Wh…what do you want me to do with them.”

She pointed upward; his brows crumpled.

“Lift them up so I can clean around them, Jon.”

“Oh.”

Jon looked slowly down at his feet, bared his teeth in disgust. Then he sat up enough to free one arm, whose hand he planted beside him on the couch. Gingerly lifted the opposite foot. Daisy nodded; he was doing his best, she told herself. “Thanks,” she said aloud. He nodded back, but did not smile or speak. His mouth remained a washed-out line of effort.

Daisy’s mop slurped up the part of the mess Jon’s foot had blocked off; then she used it to dab at the sole of his shoe itself. “Put it back down now and I’ll get the top.” He yelped when the mop wet his sock. Daisy tried not to smile. “That feel weird? Sorry. Just figured those socks were done for anyway.”

“No, you’re right. It’s just. Unpleasant,” he concluded, beginning his final sentence at the same time Daisy started her own.

She said, “I’ll help you off with them when I’m done here.”

“I can get it,” Jon said, but did not move.

This time Daisy did smile, before she could think better of it. “Other foot?”

“Right.”

After finishing with that shoe, Daisy told Jon to hang his feet off the arm of the couch while she corralled as much as she could of this vaguely puke-flavored water off the floor and back into the bucket. She expected him to stretch the rest of himself out on the couch, but instead he bent double—as before, but with one side leant against the couch’s back cushion. Chin on bent forearms on bent knees on arm of couch.

“Do you think it’s safe to clean the plug off with the mop?”

His head snapped around to face her. “What?”

Daisy sighed, trying to rearrange her shapeless panting mouth into a smile. “The plug at the end of the cord—not the one in the wall.”

“Oh. Maybe? It’s not plugged in, right.”

“‘Course not.”

“Then I don’t think you’ll be electrocuted.”

“But do you think it’ll ruin the clock?”

“I—I don’t know.”

“Can’t you ask the Eye or something?”

Jon shook his head, which he then set in his hand as though to keep it out of danger. “Maybe it’s like a phone.”

“Come again?”

“Like when you drop your phone in the toilet.”

“Yeah? What happens then.”

“You leave it in rice for 48 hours.”

“In rice?”

“Dry rice. Uncooked rice.”

Again she sighed. “Right.”

“Wait, no”—his eyes went wide—“the rice thing is a myth.”

“What?”

“Silica packets might work though.”

“What are those.”

“Like you get with a new pair of shoes.”

“Huh.”

“They say ‘Do Not Eat’ on them. Usually in inverted commas, for some reason.”

“Oh. Yeah. What happens if you do eat those?”

“No idea. They’re a drying agent, so, they dehydrate you I guess?”

“To death?”

“Possibly.”

“Weird.”

“Nope—scratch that. Turns out they’re just a choking hazard.”

“Oh.”

“A-and we can’t digest them, so if you eat a lot of them they could cause intestinal blockage.”

“Bleugh,” pronounced Daisy.

“Oh, and. Sorry we missed The Archers, by the way.”

“It’s fine, Jon. I heard it last night. I’ll catch you up on it later.”

There was his usual snarl. When Daisy looked smilingly up at him, though, meaning to add, Feeling better, are we? she saw him flinch like he’d been nodding off to sleep again. “So should I mop off the plug or not?”

“Oh. Yeah, seems worth a try.”

By the time Daisy got the floor as un-wet and -soapy as she knew how, she figured neither one of them had the energy to deal with Jon’s shoes. Nor had she the strength to drag the bucket away just yet. Instead she nudged it toward Jon, in case he had to puke again. Then she sat down next to him, so the side of her bum touched the back of his—though from this angle that was a lot less cushy. Mostly tailbone, in fact.

To free her feet from the suffocating heat that made them itch and buzz Daisy yanked off her own shoes (the right one now sick-free but soggy), without untying them, and plopped them down on the couch’s unused other arm. Rested the back of her head on the back of the couch, and closed her eyes. Her whole body throbbed and itched instead of sweating. It was new; maybe a coffin thing, maybe a Hunt-withdrawal thing. Probably the latter. (Oh—I have that too, Jon had said once, when she’d had to explain why her face and hands were red.) Never thought she’d miss feeling slimy.

When she found the strength to speak again she asked, “You comfortable like that?”

“Er,” said Jon. Then, after a pause, in a hoarser voice, “My legs are asleep.”

Daisy smiled, and then, when she remembered he wouldn’t see that, huffed a single syllable of laughter. “No wonder, smooshed up like that. Stretch out, if you like; you won’t be in my way.”

He complied at once, but said, “But then your legs will fall asleep.”

“Probably. I’ll let you know.”

He laid down across her now, or at least his torso did. His head spilled off one side of her lap, legs off the other. Daisy helped him shove the couch’s one throw pillow (now the one he slept with, when he slept) under his head.

“You don’t find this—claustrophobic?” Jon asked, after going to all the trouble to get himself comfortable.

“No.” Daisy blinked, trying not to show how much questions like this irritated her. She wouldn’t break like a china doll if you touched her, Basira. Human weight wasn’t like the Buried. Humans were warm and squishy, and they smelled like life; even vomit smelled better than grave dirt. But at least Basira had a good excuse not to understand that? Coming from Jon it didn’t make any sense. When he’d reached her down there, the first thing he did was take her hand and squeeze. She didn’t know if he’d done that to reassure her or himself or both, but—it shouldn’t matter, right? If he’d known to do that then, why didn’t he know now?

At last she went on, “You said it’s called Too Close I Cannot Breathe. Don’t breathe through my legs, do I?”

“N—?—no. No, I guess not.”

He closed his eyes. Daisy could feel his flesh deflate and ooze outward as the muscles relaxed. This felt like a lot, coming from someone she’d first known as a paranoid little freak. How could he trust her so much, when—? It made her smile, even though she knew only Elias would see. Could muscle atrophy make it hurt to smile?

“Hey Jon?” she waited for his answering Hm. “What’s with the #1 Pervert mug?”

“Oh. Er—Tim.”

“Uh huh…?”

“There was, uh—a statement? Wh-when we first came to the Archives, we looked into a statement given by a man who found a Leitner in a charity shop.”

“Aaand you sent Tim to check out the shop’s records.”

Jon nodded, to the extent that was possible in his position, but his Yeah came out inaudible. “Martin had recently broke one of the mugs that came with—that Gertrude and her assistants left. So, Tim, in a, uh, perhaps a slight overreaction, bought every novelty mug in the establishment.”

“Every mug? I only saw six in there.”

“Or so he told me.”

“Doubt it. That collection looks curated. I didn’t see a single teddy bear, or. Souvenir from a breast-cancer walk.”

“I didn’t press him on it.”

“Right,” Daisy scoffed.

“Sasha used”—a trumpetty nose-laugh interrupted Jon’s sentence—“Sasha used to joke they should be in Artefact Storage.”

“Well she’d know best. Didn’t you say she used to work there?”

“Yes!” Jon squeaked, in a delighted whisper-shout. One hand covered his face; the other fist shook in the air. “She had literal horror stories about that place. The way she talked about those mugs was like—hearing a nun say there should be a circle in hell for people who order the wrong kind of donuts.”

When they’d both quit laughing Daisy said, “You sound like you’re starting to feel better.” She poked him in the stomach, though so lightly for fear he’d throw up on her that she doubted he could even feel it through his cardigan and shirt. “Gonna puke again, you think?”

Jon breathed out through his nose and looked at the ceiling. Apparently she had poked him hard enough to tickle: he batted her hand away like a fly, then left his own where hers had been. “Probably not. Don’t think so. Not sure how much I have left to.”

“Yeah.” After a pause to put the words in a convincing order, Daisy said, “Surprised you had that much—I’ve barely seen you eat today. How long were you feeling sick?”

Guilty smile. “Sorry, Daisy, I uh. Thought I had it under control.”

“Not what I asked.”

“Oh. Uh… few hours, maybe?”

“Why’ve you been coughing and sniffing all day then. Thought you had a cold at first.”

“Yeah—so did I, til.”

“Huh.”

Jon propped the back of his head on his folded elbows. “Maybe it’s a monster thing,” he said, with the cynical sigh of someone pretending to be okay with this.

“Could be,” Daisy agreed. She could feel his eyes on her, but looked at the opposite wall instead of answering his gaze. Meanwhile she patted his knee. When he’d been quiet long enough she was sure he didn’t mean to say more about the monster thing, Daisy said, “Let’s get you out of those wet shoes.”

--

*Whose OP I can’t find, though I know I’ve seen it before, but. It’s the prompt referenced here:

person has been involuntarily letting out nauseously [sic] coughs intermittently all day, and their friend thinks they just have a cold or something, but surprise! they are about to puke everywhere

ETA 6/16 fixed a few Americanisms, whoops! If I’ve missed any more of those please point them out to me

[chemicalarospec]

A Look At Dan’s Recent Branding

AKA I Make Up a Bunch of Stuff About Media and Perception and Promotion and Branding and Say the Same Things Over and Over

I’m so sorry this is actually horrendously long. I’m a loquacious a$$hole.

So I started rambling in the tags of this post began thinking about Dan’s  presence recently. The reason so many of us fell for the red chairing was because it actually seemed possible -- perhaps not a proper joint video, but a cameo or side role.

Now that the video’s out, I can see it has very strong Solo Phil vibes, but I can still imagine a few different ways Dan could have been in it if he wanted to be. (Side note: It also feels like a run-of-the-mill, everyday, video, though seasonal, and not a festive special, despite the content. idk, I blame it on the lack of decoration and boring grey wall. cue clowning for more spoopy content though.) Dan is not in the video, so he must not have wanted to be in it. Why? 

Before I talk more, let’s just talk about “branding” for a bit. I use it interchangeably with “image”/”public image”/”public persona”/”common connotations”/”associations” here (kinda wrongly), but I default to “branding” because it’s what the phandom (possibly even Dan and Phil themselves?) use the most frequently -- “image” is perhaps the best-fitting term. Regardless, in a very general example, if Stephen King wrote a fluffy teenage romance book, it would be “off-brand” for him. That’s what we’re talking about here. Except with Dan and smaller differences.

It’s also worth noting that Dan and Phil were not always Dan-and-Phil -- I remember seeing an early liveshow clip where Dan says they’re not a double act. I’m pretty sure the radio show in 2013/early 2014 followed by the launch of the gaming channel in 2014 is when they became a “double act” --  the BBC absolutely billed them as such. 

You can see what I’m getting at here: Dan is trying to drop the “and Phil” in a softer way than he dropped the “isnotonfire” back in 2017. However, it’s definitely worth noting that he had already distanced himself quite a bit from it before the official name change, with first the shorter fringe and then the curls being a visual representation of that. And it’s probably just a mental thing on my part, but curly Dan now looks different from curly Dan-with-Phil.

Okay so first, why is he trying to change his image? Like his first evolution, a major component is being more mature -- llamas and malteasers didn’t simply not represent Dan anymore, they represented a younger, less mature Dan. He didn’t like it anymore. Does Dan not like who we view him as now? My first instinct is “no,” because his current connotations are fairly empty, but I don’t really know, so I’ll just move on.

What do we associate with Dan right now? i. e. what’s “on brand” for him? Well, again, there’s not a lot of strong specifics, at least for me. After two years for being nearly absent from the internet and very clearly growing a lot as a person, Daniel hasn’t talked enough for there to be only the basics left: tall, British, memes, and gay.

Okay, but the gay. Dan and Phil have been out for one year, but being part of The Gays is a pretty big part of their branding. This is because of their already long-standing reputation, more specifically their attachments to the community -- all those teenage girls turning out to be lesbians and, of course, the shipping.

The Gay is also an answer to the next question: What different aspects of his image is he pushing? Again, that he’s more mature and serious -- the UN talk, for example. I’m not counting the book here because that’s the product of the changes, not content being used to create a shift.

The big thing I want to focus on is the attitude video series. I’m very curious as to how this came about to be and don’t know enough details to say some things, but one thing I can note is that the plug for You Will Get Through This Night is a really small part of it. It’s literally the last thing he says, and they don’t even show the cover. It’s so skippable, and while it’s good that means they all really care about the important content of the series, it does create some questions.

To be honest, all of the attitude/This Night content is kind of strange to me. For example, the quote they used to promote it doesn’t mention the book, which just looks bad. This Night isn’t really the center of the collab -- it’s more general mental health awareness and activism.

So that’s the first thing Dan’s trying to put into his image. The podcast (Get Britain Talking or something like that) is, I feel, more directly part of marketing This Night, though of course, like with the video series, the content itself is emphasized and important and I should treat it as such.

Back to attitude. attitude is “the UK’s best selling gay magazine.” Why is Dan trying to build connotations to things he already is? No, but actually this gives insight on how he’s trying to be perceived: he’s a confident gay man. This magazine with its connotations (formal media, queer, well-established) will come up should someone new search up Dan -- obviously that’s not the direct reason; it’s a representation of his public image. 

Why is he trying to create this image? Right now, us in the phandom are probably 90% of the people tuned into Daniel’s actions. We’ve already built up a lot about him, and though we don’t want to admit it, we do like Dan-and-Phil, the double act. Overall, I do think Dan will not change our image of him as much as he’d like, but he has changed it more than we might think -- for example, people talking about how “mature” and “grown-up” he is in new photos. 

I think I’m just stupid, but these pushes don’t seem to be needed for You Will Get Through This Night. Okay so the problem here is “how do you get people to buy a book?” An author’s broader public persona doesn’t really impact this. I’m not going to hear about a mental health book written by an ex-Youtuber and search up the author. I’m not going to hear about a mental health book written by an ex-Youtuber in my normal book searching, period.

You know where I could see myself finding out about a book like this, and what would get people to buy the book? Doing mainstream interviews specifically about it; I’ll read TIME interviews with anyone, so long as it seems mildly interesting. But Dan’s not doing that, not a lot, not yet. (I bet he will later.)

I guess what I’m saying is the attitude video series is periphery media that impacts his branding but does not reach a large audience; it’s impact is atmospheric, not promotional.

(Dude it’s 10:30 at this point I’m not sure what I’m saying.) (also I rearranged these paragraphs sorry if it reads poorly)

Dan is a private person. He has made this extensively clear throughout the years and in the most recent content. What this means is I don’t believe he wants to update his branding just for the sake of accuracy to self.

So it’s (partially) for something else, but the public framing clearly goes beyond This Night. The obvious answer is that Dan’s just trying to return to the public eye, but then I still ask why???

The attitude series is not an end goal -- i. e. it is a building block for something. I mean, I just don’t think Dan’s like “yeah I want to create content again and this is the content I want to create,” simply because it started out seeming like an extension of the interview and now it’s clearly more than that, but it’s still like, for the magazine. It’s not his.

So what’s Dan going to do with this status of being a queer content creater and mental health advocate he’s curating? So remember how there’s a 99% chance he’s doing something w/ television but there’s been no official announcement? Yeah, that. 

I had a few paragraphs talking about book-adjacent media (interviews, reviews, ect.) vs television-adjacent media but all of it was me 100% making stuff up so it’s gone now. Basically, I *think* if he were to make a show, fiction or non-fiction, people would search him up and write a small description of him, and I *think* this is less likely for You Will Get Through This Night, so I *think* this reputation-building is in preparation of the former, not the latter.

Isabelle, you spent over an hour on this, do you actually have anything interesting to say?

Freaking *waves hands* promotional-- social dynamics-- what the heck actually is branding at this point-- Dan show.

TL;DR: It might just be the French in me (or just *my* French relatives?), but life is manipulation and Dan is trying to drop “and Phil” from his name and is manipulating his public image to be more mature, with a focus on being one of The Gays and a mental health advocate. Because it’s not vibin’ as This Night promotion/set-up, it is likely setup for promotion for another project, probably the TV one.

TL;DR 2: Just read the tags on the original post I literally didn’t have to say any of this except for “television theory”.

[vxmorpheus]

The Crossroads to the beginning. P1

Tw - blood, and mentions of miscarriages

LONG post

"I... just don't think we can do this anymore, Eli. We can't just keep pretending nothing's happened," Michael spoke solemnly as he packed his clothes into his suitcase.

Eli stood by the door, fighting tears back, "you don't have to leave though! We can work things out, maybe-"

"No! ... no, Eli. We've tried working this out for 5 years, but you keep miscarrying! I-"

"Excuse me?! Are you blaming this on me?! It's not like I'm fucking trying to! I want a child just as bad as you do!"

He shouted back, "well it sure as hell doesn't seem like you want a kid!"

"So, you're saying I'm doing this on purpose?!"

"Yes! I don't think you ever wanted one in the first fucking pla-"

Eli slapped Michael hard. Hard enough that it jerked his head to the left, "get. Out."

He put his hand on his face, "Eli, I-"

"GET. OUT. GET OUT RIGHT NOW! LEAVE!" Eli screamed out. Michael jumped in surprise, then scrambled to close his suitcase and left quickly. Eli followed him to the door, slamming it shut behind him. She put her back against the door and slid down until she was sitting on the floor with her face in her hands. She sobbed into her hands before bringing her legs up, hugging them to herself for comfort. Eli didn't know how long she sat there crying, but by the time she got up, it was nighttime. She set a kettle onto the stovetop and walked to the window, looking out on the city... it felt much more empty and quiet now with Michael gone. "What am I going to do...? How am I going to pay rent...? I can't work..." the kettle cut off her ramblings to herself. She poured some of the hot water into a mug and put a teabag into it. Eli made her way to bed, walking by the spare bedroom that was meant for Michael and her baby... that was never to come. When she stood in the doorway of their bedroom, she stared at the empty king bed for a long time before turning around and going to the couch. She couldn't bear to sleep in that bed all alone.

Over the next couple of months, she and Michael got divorced. Which was easier than expected given there was no child to fight for custody of. She had also found out that he had actually been cheating on her for 3 months before he left her. She was pissed, not at the other woman, but rather at him. He was a coward. He was a liar. He never stood by Eli's side after each miscarriage. She was always left to heal by herself, to take care of herself even when she wasn't supposed to be walking and bending. She resented and hated Michael, she was actually happy she never had a kid with him... but she still wanted a child.

The money she saved and the money she got from the divorce helped her pay rent for some months while trying to figure out what she would do for income. One night, she was binge-watching a show with paranormal/supernatural themes and one of the characters went to a crossroads and summoned a demon then made a deal to save another character that was in a coma. Eli sat up slowly and thought, "if... maybe... I can do that... and make a deal for a job..." she grabbed her laptop and changed the channel to something else. She began doing research into crossroad demons, she had heard of them before but only for famous people. While she did research, the news played a recap of the election results... "Gabriel Kenward is the confirmed winner for governor. He and his wife are goi..." Eli zoned the tv out while reading steps on how to go about summoning a crossroads demon. She read up on every single website she could handle, even the ones making fun of people for looking or trying to summon a demon. Her eyelids felt heavy as she was reading a website specifically made for the supernatural practices, she could only read two paragraphs before she passed out on the couch. She felt herself falling in her dream, making her jerk awake. Eli sighed, annoyed, and got up, setting the laptop onto the coffee table. She walked around the couch to the kitchen to get some water, but... something felt off. She paused at her refrigerator and looked around. Everything looked normal but the air felt different for some reason. Eli shook her head and grabbed a glass, putting it in the water dispenser on her fridge. There was a pause... then liquid poured it into her glass before she yanked it away. Eli stared in horror at her fridge before looking at the glass, which had blood in it.

"You going to drink that?" A voice behind her asked humorously. Eli whipped around to see... something... sitting on the kitchen island. It was like her brain couldn't understand what she was looking at. "Didn't your mom tell you staring is rude?"

"I-I... wh...what are you?"

"What you're looking for," it took the cup from her and downed the blood, making Eli shudder in disgust.

"W-What do you mean?"

"Oh please, dear, you can't be that stupid."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I'm a demon, idiot."

"I am not an idiot! How the fuck did you get into my house?"

"Hah! I'm not inside your house. Well, not in the traditional sense. I'm in your dream. This is a dream, sweetheart."

"Don't fucking call me sweetheart. What do you want."

"Ooh feisty, I like that. It's not what I want, it's what you want," it jumped off the island counter.

"You are not what I'm wanting to summon."

"Yes, yes, I know. But, I can tell you how to properly summon a crossroads demon. Just be sure to mention me to him, hm?"

"What else do you want?" Eli snapped back.

It held its hands up, "oh, my dear, nothing. I just want to be mentioned. Might get me a promotion."

"... a promotion...? What the fuck? What does that mean?"

"It doesn't matter, just listen..." it leaned into her and whispered.

Eli sat up quickly, the sun shining into the living room and her phone blaring loudly to inform her that her friend was calling. She picked up the phone and talked to her friend for a bit before agreeing to meet up at a cafe. She quickly got ready and called a taxi, thinking about her dream the entire time. By the time she was snapped out of her thought, her friend was shaking her arm. Eli looked at her friend surprised, "what?"

Her friend gave her a concerned look, "how are you holding up? You're really out of it today." She took a sip of her coffee, "like... what's goin' in your brain right now?"

"What would you want if you made a deal with a crossroads demon?"

"Oh, you finally got to that episode? Hmm... money or fame. What about you?"

"To be in good health and have a fun and fulfilling career..."

"Huh, don't you want a kid still? I thought you'd ask for something like that," she froze for a second. "Sorry, that came out wrong. I-"

"No, no... you're right... I never thought of that..." Eli sat back in her chair and idly sipped at her frappe.

"Uh... anyway... h..."

Eli had zoned out for the rest of the day until night fell. She gathered everything she needed to summon this... demon... The idea of summoning a demon made adrenaline pump through her body. She wasn't sure if it was fear or excitement... or maybe both? Eli put everything in a bag and grabbed a butcher's knife before heading out. She looked at her cellphone GPS where she marked down a crossroads that was relatively outside of town and away from busy streets. Eli shoved the butcher's knife into her bag when the taxi drove up to her. Eli showed the man where she wanted to go and he gave her a weird look that said 'ok but why?' He took her to where she said and asked her as she was walking into the dark, "are you ok lady? Are you sure this is where you wanted?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Leave," he quickly left as Eli made her way crossroads. She opened a box she brought. "Ok... to do this successfully..." She took out the knife and took a deep breath before cutting her thumb a bit, smearing the blood onto her own photo and onto the white yarrow flowers. Eli closed the big and dug a hole, burying the box in the crossroads.

Nothing happened for a bit, making her the slightest bit embarrassed, but her body got the chills like something was behind her. Eli was the type to hate being scared in such a manner, so, not caring that this was probably a demon, she spoke, "I swear to fucking God, if I turn around and you are right behind me, I will not hesitate to punch you." She heard a quiet chortle and then some steps backing away from her. Eli was prepared to see something monstrous and scary, but... this guy was... normal looking? It looked just like a man in a nice suit with silvery-white hair.

"You actually did this in a proper way... so I guess I can't trick you too much... how may I be of service, love?" His eyes flashed red for a moment and he gave a sharp-toothed grin as he leaned back into a tree.

"Love? Did you just call me love?" The demon nodded, "don't fucking call me that, you mean nothing to me. You are only a means to an end."

"Oh my, so rude to somebody who's just tryin' to help," he looked slightly taken aback by her blatant honesty but tried to keep a straight and cool face. "Who told you how to do the summoning correctly? It's a rare treat."

"I don't fucking remember its name. It was a demon that came into my dream and told me to do it this way."

"Ohhh, my friend... well... I guess I did promise him a promotion if he got someone for me... anyway! What is it you need?" He pushed himself from the tree and took a step towards Eli, an evil look of amusement in his eyes. Eli held the knife like she was ready to fight someone to the death, "love, even if I wanted you to kill me or severely injure me, you wouldn't be able to. Humans can only exorcise demons and harm them with religious artifacts."

"I don't give a shit, I'm putting up a fight whether it matters or not," she said through clenched teeth. He continued walking towards her nonetheless, making her back away slowly until, in the most cliche way possible, she felt a tree blocking her path backward. He got up close, his body touching her body, and looked down at her with a smile.

He grabbed her chin and made her look at him, "did you just summon me here to fuck around with me, or are we making a deal, dear?" He grunted and looked down, seeing the knife stab into his left side. He looked back at Eli with amusement, "I told you, you can't hurt me. You have no power in this situation. Also, this was a brand new suit, ya know, now I have to take it in to get it fixed."

"Let me make it more expensive for you then," she took the knife out of his side and stabbed him again in a different spot. Then she took it out again and cut his shirt, cutting him in the process.

"Stop," he spoke aggressively, her antics starting to get on his nerves. He pushed himself away from her and looked down at his ruined suit, "are you fucking kidding me? Come on."

"Don't get into my space without consent then," she snapped.

"Humans and their consent... jeez..."

"Excuse me? Listen here you little shit," she marched towards him. He took a step back in surprise by her boldness. Eli was so much smaller than he was AND she was just a human, so why was he slightly scared? "Consent is important to have, it makes it so both parties are enjoying whatever they are doing. If one party says no, it means no. Say, 'no means no', right now."

"What on this forsaken p-"

"Say it. Right now," she held the knife up at him. There was silence between them, just eye contact. They stared at each other for a long time... it could've just been 30 seconds or it could've been 10 minutes. Time was insignificant to the demon and the human before him didn't seem to care either. She was going to keep going. Nothing was going to stop her from whatever her goal was, not even him being an asshole.

Holy Hell... she's... beautiful... what the fuck...? He thought to himself. "No means no," he finally spoke and broke the eye contact.

"Damn right," she only slightly lowered the knife, watching him with suspicion, which she had every right to do.

"L-Look, lady... I do not have any intentions of doing anything to you. Not anymore, at least. Just... what do you want?" He spoke softly to her.

"I want..." she lowered the knife all the way down. "I want a child."

He choked on nothing, "w-what!? A- what?! A child?! You could literally have a bunch of money or fame or the love of your life or-"

"I want to have a child," she spoke more sternly and with determination. He was beyond confused. Usually, humans always wanted the same things; money, power, love, etc.... but a child? He's never heard a human ask for a child. Having a child because she wants to bring a new life into the world... was that selfish? Humans are only selfish beings... was there selfishness in this request?

"But why? Just go have one yourself or like-" he stopped speaking, seeing tears in her eyes. "I-It's not-! It's just-! Fuck! I don't know!"

Eli sniffled, "do you really think I haven't tried to have a child of my own? Do you think I would just summon a demon just because I could? You have no idea what I've been through to have a child of my own! I-"

Suddenly arms wrapped around her, strong arms that felt... comforting and held her close, "I-I... You're right... I-... I have no idea what you've been through. But... I can tell that death follows you... so, I can gather an idea of what's happened... but I can't ever truly understand how you're feeling." He made a surprised sound at himself. Why was he comforting a human? Why was he being so nice? He was nearly 6,000 years old and here he was... hugging and comforting some human woman he's just met. He expected to be stabbed by Eli again, but nothing happened besides the sound of the knife clattering to the dirt. Now was his chance. He could do anything to her and she... 'no means no... no means no... no means no...' he repeated in his head. He felt her face shove into his chest and heard her sob loudly. He looked up above the trees at the stars and the moon, some clouds drifting by slowly. The demon rubbed her back idly while glaring at the sky. 'What are you doing to me. What are you planning', he thought into the air, directed at the big man himself. After some time, Eli pulled away and apologized, "no, no... you don't have anything to apologize for. I-If anything... I should be apologizing to you."

"Hah... a demon apologizing..." she sniffled and bent down to pick the knife up, he put his hand onto hers, keeping her from lifting it.

"I'm sorry," he said to her quietly and then took his hand away. She stood up and looked at him with surprise, but there was still suspicion in her eyes. Eli slowly put the knife away into her bag while watching him carefully for any movements. He looked down to the ground, "I don't intend on harming you in any way, but I understand why you're suspicious of me... I still want to grant your wish, so to speak... make a deal."

Eli perked up, eyes wide, "w-wait, really?"

"Yes... I'm sure it's against the rules though... but... I'll just break one rule. For you."

"So... I get to have a child... one that'll live a good long life?"

"I cannot guarantee the good part, but a long life I can."

"What is the ultimatum? 10 years?"

"Ah... see... that's the issue... since I'm breaking the rules for y-this... I have to cut it down to 5 years... n-now I-"

"Deal."

"Excuse me? We haven't even talked about how and when and all that other stuff."

"I don't care, just... deal. I'll take it."

"It's really reckless to just run into a deal without finalizing everything first. A demon could pull tricks and make terrible rules..." he put his hands together and then slowly opened them, a scroll appearing in flames in his hands.

"Well... are you going to do that?"

"No," he untied the scroll.

"Alright then... where do I sign?"

"W-What? You're just going to believe me just like that? What if I'm lying? I'm a fucking demon for hell's sake!"

Eli stared into his eyes for a short while before bringing them down to the scroll, "I trust you."

The demon stared at her for a while, feeling his non-existent soul swell, "...alright... so be it... sign here with your blood." She nodded and took out the knife, it still had black demon blood on it. She poked the tip of her pointer finger, using it as a way to sign. After she finished, the demon looked at her signature, "Elisa... a very nice name... joyful... it seems about right."

"Just call me Eli. What do you go by?"

The demon rolled the scroll closed, tying it up once again, then making it burst into flames, "the deal is done. Just... call me Sam."

"Alright, Sam it is then... what happens now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like... how am I going to have a kid? It just happens or like..."

"A-Ah, right... in the traditional way humans have children."

"Should I go to a club, a dating app, or like... what?"

Sam felt the hairs on his neck stand up, "no! er... I mean... a club would probably be the best fit..."

"Is it already determined who's going to be the father?"

"You see, this would've been stuff to talk about before you signed the deal. Well... nnnnnnnnnoo-yes. Yes, the father is already determined."

"Can I ask who it is? Like what's his name?"

"You'll know it when you see him."

"...Alright..."

"Why are you not afraid?" Sam blurts out. He clears his throat, "I mean... like not afraid to go into the dark, in a place you don't even know, and summon a fucking demon."

"I don't have anything to lose," Eli said flatly. Sam winced slightly, "I need to get home. It'll be a long walk home... thank you for helping me even though I stabbed you a couple times."

"N-Now wait a second. You don't have a ride? Or a car? What about a taxi or whatever that taxi service thing is called on your cellphone."

"It uh... it died. I'm just walking... I don't drive either, so," Eli shrugged and turned away, about to make her way out of the trees. Sam grabbed her arm and pulled her back, accidentally(?) a bit too close, "what the hell? Let me leave."

"No! I... I'll take you home. There are weirdos and bad people driving at night on the highway, I can feel the sin..." he lied.

"What? ... I... uhm... I guess... but how are you going to take me home? I don't imagine you have a car, do you?"

"No, I have something better. I'm a fucking demon. Er... may I hold you closer for safety reasons?"

Eli raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, "just don't try anything with me."

"I won't," he took a deep breath, pulling her closer to his body while he repeated 'no mean no' in his head. He closed his eyes, "close your eyes and don't open them until I say so, no matter what you hear." He opened his eyes and looked down at her, she had her eyes squeezed shut. He nodded and mover his left art out and forward, holding it above his head before making a slow cutting motion downwards. A rip in reality formed, the inside of the rip showed hell and its lovely glow of flames. He stepped into the rip while holding Eli as close as possible, "do not open your eyes." He repeated as the sounds of screaming and torture began. She buried her face into his side and started holding onto him as well. Again, his non-existent soul swelled up and he gave Eli a comforting squeeze. Sam successfully made it to the other rip that was made without running into any other demons. He stepped through that rip and looked at a door to a house he presumed was Eli's house. "You can open your eyes."

Eli peeked an eye open, "where..." she looked at the door, "home... where did you take me?"

"What do you mean?"

"The screaming place," she pointed behind her and started to turn.

Sam panicked, sealing the rip shut immediately, "You can't look at it! It's dangerous! It could damn your soul, trap you there, all sorts of things could happen!"

"Why would that matter? Am I not damned anyway for making a deal with you? I know I go to hell after the 5 years are up."

"W-Well yes... but no... I... If that happens you won't have a kid!"

"Fuck... yeah..." she looked down at the ground, a small smile playing on her lips, "this isn't like some fucked up dream right?"

"N-No. What? Why would it?"

"It just feels unreal..." Eli pulled out of Sam's hold and walked up to the door, digging the keys out of her pocket. Sam reached out slightly, her not noticing at all.

"Well... it's real... I'm glad you're happy," he followed after her.

She unlocked the door and started turning around, "I really am... I really am happy." Eli jumped slightly and looked up at Sam who was behind her. They stared at each other for a long time before he dove in and kissed her, pushing her slightly against the door. Eli's eyes widen in surprise before closing them and kissing Sam back. She reached behind her and grabbed at the air for the door handle, finally getting it and opening the door. They pulled away from each other, both of them flustered, "t-thank you, S-Sam... maybe see you again?"

"A-Ah... y-yeah... of course..." he rubbed the back of his head, "I'd... I'd love to see you again..." He knew it was against the rules to see her again. But... what's two broken rules to a list of nearly 400? He started walking down the stairs. She gave a kind smile, closing the door slowly before pausing and opening it again.

"Sam."

"Oh! Yes?" He turned around, surprised to see her at the top of the steps, eye level with him.

Eli grabbed his tie and pulled him to her slightly, "come here."

"O-Oh? Oh! Ohhh..." he let himself be dragged into the house. "Eli... is this... like... I don't want to get the wrong idea... but..."

"Maybe, play your cards right," she said playfully, still pulling him by the tie. "Take your shirt and coat off," Sam did so quickly, handing them to her, "go sit in the kitchen." He nodded and went there as she did whatever with his shirt and coat. She came out with a white box and walked over to him, "you said I couldn't hurt you because I'm human, right?"

"Yeah... physically."

"Well... that doesn't matter to me. I don't care if you heal faster than normal or it doesn't hurt or anything. It's the principle of the matter," Eli opened the box and pulled out some first aid supplies.

"Eli, you don't-"

"I want to! I... I want to," she got a wet washcloth and started cleaning the dried black blood. The room was in comfortable silence for a good long time before Eli broke it, "I'm sorry for stabbing you twice, cutting your chest, and ruining your new suit..."

"Yo-"

"But you kind of deserved it."

Sam blinked and looked down at her, she was concentrating on the left side stab wound. He laughed, "yeah... I kind of did." He watched her work carefully as they made idle conversation. She was treating him like a person and not some creature that could tear your body to pieces... and he... kind of liked it. Demons never really talked to each other, let alone have personal conversations. Sam put his hand on his chest in surprise, feeling a throb of something or some emotion he's never felt before or hasn't felt in a very very long time.

"Are you ok?" Eli looked up at him with... worry in her eyes?

Sam tore his eyes away from her, "Eli, I need you to get away from me, right now." He warned.

"But, I'm just trying to help you. Why are you getting hostile?"

"Eli, p-please, get away from me. Please. I don't want to hurt you."

"Now you're threatening me?" She stood up and crossed her arms, "in my own house?"

"Eli, you aren't understanding what I'm saying. I need you to get away from me. For your own health and safety," Sam started shaking. "Please, I'm begging you."

"Tell me what's wrong. What's happening?"

"For fucks sake, Eli!" He got off the chair and took a step towards her, "I need you to... get... away from me... right now. Go! Get out of my sight! Hide!"

"H-hide?" Eli took a step back and looked at Sam closely, "o..oh... Oh!" She spun on her heel and ran down the hall and to the master bedroom. 'Ok... closet... no that's too obvious... bathroom... again too obvious... this is so stupid,' she thought to herself as she starts dragging herself under her bed. She gets into a comfortable position where she is one-hundred percent under the bed with no extremities poking out so she'd get yanked out like some horror movie. She steadied her breathing and waited... and wait...

...and waited

.........and waited...

She started getting tired and her body was aching from the way she was laying under the bed... but everything seemed clear. Maybe he was good now? She very slowly, inch by inch, as quiet as possible, pulled herself out from under the bed. She sighed once she was free from under the bed and got onto her hands and knees to push herself up. A sinister laugh came from behind her, "I was wondering how long you were going to stay under there."

She slowly turned around, seeing Sam laying on her bed, "S-Sam...? How did you get in here and onto the bed without me knowing?"

He shrugged, "I'm a demon, love. We have our ways."

"Sam, please... let's just go back to the kitchen so I can finish-"

"Mm, no," he stood up.

"Sam... please..." She slowly stood up.

"You're driving me crazy, you know that? What are you doing to me? What are you planning?" He walks up to Eli and pushes her back onto the floor easily, putting a foot on her chest to keep her down, "tell me."

"I-I'm not doing anything! I'm just trying to be nice!"

"Nobody is nice for no reason. What do you want?"

"There are people who are nice for no reason other than to m-" he pushed his foot down to make her stop talking.

"You are somethin' else, aren't ya?" He drops down to the floor to join her there. Sam reaches over to touch Eli's face, but she swats his hand away. He then grabs her wrist, her other hand coming and trying to get his hand off, only for him to grab that hand too, "just let me show you affection."

"No! Let go of me!" Eli shouts at him, trying to kick him. Sam moves and sits on her thighs, pinning each hand in its perspective side by her head.

"Why?" His eyes were wide and glowing in the dark, his pupils were dilated to their fullest amount as he looked down at Eli.

"Because I said no! No means-!"

"No. No... No!" Sam let go of Eli and threw himself off of her, wildly rubbing his eyes, "fuck! God damn it! Fucking... I'm sorry, Eli... I'm sorry... fuck, I'm so stupid."

"What is the fucking hell was that?!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry... fuck..." Sam stood up and kept rubbing his eyes, "this hasn't happened in 4,000 years..." He walked over to Eli, holding his hand out.

Eli hesitantly took it, Sam pulling her up, "ok, but what was that."

"I... in the past... it's only happened once to another woman... I... I killed her because I couldn't control myself. I was only 1,900 years."

"So, you would've killed me?"

"I'm sure you'd probably want to die after what happens..."

"What would have happened?" Sam gave her a look, "Oh... right... yeah... but why would I want to die?"

Sam laughed nervously, "let's not Uhm... talk about what happens, ok? It's... I... no, let's not talk about that."

"Uhhh..." Eli gave him a side-eye, "alright then... we won't talk about it... for now." Sam nodded and stared at the ground, "come on... let's finish cleaning your stabs. I would've stabbed you again if I had a knife."

"I know..." Sam said. Eli took his hand and dragged him to the kitchen, "why are you not kicking me out of your house?"

"I'll do that after I clean everything up," Eli looked back at him with a smile. Sam just stared for a moment before giving her a genuine and kind smile.

She changed him and he could feel it by the pounding in his chest.

[savrenim]

okay so looking at tma fic in general and tma time-travel fic and the various ways they decide to resolve things has given me an idea for a time travel fix-it fic premise that, like, I almost certainly will never write because way too many writing projects but it is Haunting me so I need to blab about it somewhere 

so clearly the way that the ‘time travel’ / ‘knowledge of the future’ bit works is that Jon stumbles across a book that he assumes is a Leitner but then there’s no name in the front cover so he opens it proper and oooh this is weird but it’s too late the compulsion has set hold and and reads it, oops

the experience of reading it is the experience of fuck-it-feels-like living the entire timeline of the show up through the end of episode 160

(actually all the way through When Jon Finally Dies if he ever does but the important bit is he gets that knowledge of the timeline)

(the book is channeling the power of the Ceaseless Watcher, it’s all about knowledge, although very specifically in my brain this book is something that future!Jon and future!Martin constructed and sent back, which still tracks because hey Archivist is an Avatar of the Watcher. it’s just important to me that this is active action as an attempt to prevent the apocalypse and not dumb luck)

so Jonathan Sims now knows his future and because I have strong opinions about memory/ personality/ what makes a person, has arguably just been replaced with his future self.

‘oh fuck’ Jon says 

‘I ended the world so I gotta fix this’

but how does he fix this, because oops Elias is still stupidly powerful and is going to notice if anything is up so he can’t act weird 

but he can’t bring anyone else in on this because he doesn’t want to Curse Them with such Angsty Knowledge 

he is acting a little bit weird, Martin notices that he’s acting weird because he is now being nice to Martin 

‘this cannot be how the universe exists, Jon is always mean to me,’ Martin goes. ‘like I want the universe to exist this way but Something Is Up With Jon and it would be selfish of me not to investigate just because Jon is actually being nice to me’

Martin stumbles across the book and reads it too

‘oh fuck’ Martin says and immediately goes and talks to Jon and Jon has terrible selfish mixed feelings because he missed his Martin but also didn’t want Martin to have to go through everything he went through but also now Jon is not alone in trying to figure out how to alter this timeline without Elias noticing 

(’wait what gave me away,’ Jon goes)

(’you were being nice to me,’ Martin goes)

(’fuck I really do need to be meaner to everyone don’t I,’ Jon goes. ‘it’s just really hard I’ve had Character Growth and I don’t want to be an asshole again’)

(’well suck it up you’re going to blow our cover,’ Martin goes. ‘maybe you should have thought of that before Being An Asshole.’ he immediately feels bad at Jon’s Very Sad Face. ‘you weren’t actually that much of an asshole you were just under stress and prickly and didn’t realize that the people you weren’t appreciating could be people that you would lose and now you do and that’s fine but you gotta still treat them like you’re an Asshole.’)

(’fine,’ Jon goes.)

so now they’re trying to figure out how to stop Elias 

but also their main priority is to stop Tim and Sasha from dying at this point and they kind of figure that Elias doesn’t know the timeline and as long as he’s getting what he wants which is naive Jon stumbling through interactions with Entities and getting marked but not killed, he won’t suspect anything, and he doesn’t know Tim and Sasha are going to die so that at least is something immediate they can fix 

‘I want to murder Jonah,’ goes Martin 

‘you are super valid but also Gertrude tried that and was 1000% more badass than any of us and she ended up dead so maybe we should concentrate on saving our friends like we’ve got a few years to figure out how to do that,’ goes Jon 

‘fine,’ goes Martin 

Tim and Sasha notice that something is up, OBVIOUSLY, because Jon was weird-nice for like a week and a half then is weird-mean like he’s actually trying to be mean and hates it, and has gone from brushing off Martin all the time to pretending to brush Martin off but obviously secretly pining 

he also gives off feral apocalypse energy

Martin meanwhile is pulling this all off perfectly 

he fooled Elias and Peter and everyone else back when he was faking out the Lonely, he can handle this

Elias does notice Jon acting weird and thinks this is a soap opera workplace romance gone wrong but because he hasn’t seen all of it as Jon and Martin have been very careful to be using Martin’s Lonely powers when they want to Actually Talk and make it look like they’ve just casually wandered off when Elias isn’t paying attention to them so Elias doesn’t actually look like anything is up, he calls Jon in for a ‘performance review’ to make sure 

(Martin has Lonely powers and Jon has Archivist powers from the future and they can both feed off of the long terrible fears that they remember from the horrible horrible lives and deaths they and the entire world had in their own timeline, just give me this I need a plot device that can explain why they can Actually Talk to each other while not being able to use the tunnels) 

anyways Elias starts his performance review and pokes about Martin

‘um yeah,’ Jon confesses. ‘I um had a very awkward conversation with Martin because it seemed like he was being nice to me and I asked him about his feelings and he Confessed to me that he Liked me and I was caught by surprise and was thinking about it for a few days because idk nobody ever Likes me but then came to my senses and um but also it’s totally inappropriate because I’m his boss and I told him and we’re trying to forget that the conversation ever happened and just go back to concentrating on the statements’

‘you seem very nervous right now,’ Elias goes 

‘please do not report me to HR,’ Jon goes looking appropriately mortified and trying to remember everything Martin has been coaching him about lying by telling people what they want to hear. ‘I know I should have rejected him immediately it just caught my by surprise that he would actually Say It To My Face people have been saying a lot of honest things to my face it’s very weird and I know that I shouldn’t have run away from that conversation and acted Weird for a few days but I did come to the Correct Conclusion I am very devoted to this job and don’t want to do anything but this job and didn’t do anything with Martin we just had a conversation and I’m really trying to do a good job here and please don’t fire me’

‘nope you’re good that’s fine concentrate on your job,’ Elias says, quite satisfied that his Archivist is developing truth powers very quickly 

Tim and Sasha are not so easy to fool

Tim and Sasha find the book

Sasha, who worked in Artifact Storage, is Actually Smart and goes ‘dON’T READ THAT’

Tim reads it anyways

‘oh fuck I die stopping the apocalypse’ 

Tim doesn’t seem to die from reading the book and doesn’t seem to change except for being given this foreknowledge but Sasha is Smart so she doesn’t read it. Tim does fill her in on her future.

‘oh fuck I die when a weird worm-lady attacks? and don’t even get to help with the apocalypse? that’s bullshit.’

they start their own little huddle conspiracy 

which Martin immediately finds

‘nO YOU GUYS YOU GOTTA BE MORE CAREFUL TALKING ABOUT THIS STUFF’ Martin explains the future and methods of communicating without Elias watching, which is mostly him subtly hiding them in the Lonely

(’why do you and Jon have secret special powers that’s not fair,’ Tim goes)

(’because we went through literal hell??? and also didn’t die??? idk maybe if we keep you from dying you will also get special powers but seriously Tim they are very evil these are Evil Powers we don’t want them they just kind of happened to us in the process of trying to survive,’ Martin goes.)

‘so what is the plan,’ Sasha goes. ‘like besides us not dying how are you actually going to deal with the real apocalypse’ 

‘well we want to kill Elias but we haven’t figured that out yet because he’s watching our every move perfectly and if we’re not acting like he think we should act he’ll dispose of us and start again with a new Archivist,’ Martin goes. 

‘okay but like in your story there is a part where Peter Lukas personally escorts you to the panopticon and tells you to kill Elias/Jonas and you go no and Elias wins the bet,’ Sasha says. ‘what if you just murder him then, he says he wasn’t going to stop you and if he tries you’ve got another Avatar backing you up’

‘huh we didn’t think of that,’ Martin goes. ‘why didn’t we think of that. I swear there is a Very Good Reason we didn’t think of that. um. uh. there’s also the problem anyone working in the Archives will die if he dies unless they are powerfully enough connected the Ceaseless Watcher which is like. MAYBE Jon.’

‘W H Y did you not lead with that,’ Tim goes

‘yeah I really agree you should have led with that,’ Sasha goes 

‘this has been a very stressful time and we have been doing our best and right also everyone can quit they just need to blind themselves to do it,’ Martin goes. ‘or I guess pledge allegiance to a different evil god but that is really unpleasant you have to sacrifice fear to it or you starve’

(’okay why did you not lead with--’ Sasha goes. ‘I’m starting to really see some benefits for being an evil fear-monster,’ Tim goes. ‘Like we could be ethical evil fear-monsters. like ethical vampires. only scare really shitty terrible people who deserve it and, like, scare but not kill.’)

(Martin looks like he is about to cry.)

(’okay maybe not p l e a s e stop making that face I cannot stand your puppy-dog-but-also-on-the-verge-of-tears eyes,’ Tim goes)

(Sasha stops death-glaring at him as Martin looks slightly less like he is about to cry.)

‘so everyone loves rituals what if we, like. construct a secret ritual. that you’re saying Jon is dumb powerful chosen one Avatar right so let’s just, like. switch over being the ‘Heart of the Institute’ from Jonah to him. big proper paperwork ritual passing on of ownership claiming his position as Jonah’s heir or something,’ Sasha says 

‘that seems like just the sort of bullshit that might actually work. Sasha you are the smartest person in the world and I’m pretty sure the apocalypse wouldn’t have happened if you had survived the Prentiss attack,’ Martin says 

‘actually honestly Gertrude wanted you as her replacement that sounds very true and is probably why Elias didn’t choose you,’ Jon says. he has entered the room at this point as he was curious where literally all of his assistants had wandered off to. he does actually have work to get done the Archives are A Mess and Martin has been gone at this point for far longer than it takes to Make Tea so he figured something might be up and if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s finding Martin in the Lonely

‘real rude to not let us in on this,’ Tim goes. ‘also are you SURE this is not a weird Leitner fucking with you’

‘we’ve obsessively kept track of the things that are supposed to be happening and they’re all happening on the right days and stuff,’ Jon goes. 

‘okay so let’s stop like two apocalypses and not die,’ Sasha goes. 

the rest of the fic is everyone subtly not-so-subtly trying to recreate the exact timeline while also making events Less Terrible while also trying to seem Not Too Competent 

because this is a fic there’s gotta be adorable ridiculous fluff so everyone decides that the Cover Story in case Elias thinks people are acting weird has got to be Jon and Martin starting to secretly date 

(Jon and Martin are in absolute h e l l over this and it is a hilarious comedy of errors because they didn’t tell everyone else that they got together they both decided that was too private so everyone else is aggressively trying to actually matchmake them through this all and they’re now too embarrassed to drop the act because Sasha has been giving them hell every time they have accidentally withheld information from her so it’s like. three layers of fake dating.) 

(Elias decides all this drama is simultaneously the funniest thing he’s ever seen but also kind of a Bad Distraction and is subtly trying to break them up but doesn’t want to mess with things too much because he is Very Impressed with all the ‘progress’ Jon is making)

(Jon who is a complete badass and is mostly desperately attempting not to reveal all his powers)

(there are also a lot of different things that can go various ways. like do Basira and Melaine still join the Institute? I think they all read the book and make Informed Decisions about their futures but I have not decided yet what those Informed Decisions are. Daisy learns how to control Hunt powers without it overwhelming her, because Tim is totally right about it being possible to be an ethical fear-monster although as Jon and Martin can draw from the fear of the apocalypse-world they don’t really need it so it’s just a question of whether or not I want to give everyone else cool powers. we’re in a fix-it fic everyone gets cool powers without terrible consequences Because I Say So)

(Elias doesn’t give them trouble over this because he is delighted that he’s kind of collecting avatars of other Entities because it makes it really easy to make sure Jon has marks and he thinks this is his genius plan going even better than expected) 

we get to episode 158 

Martin really wants to dramatically kill Elias i m m e d i a t e l y but is waiting for a walkie-talkie signal that the ritual above is going as planned so he stumbles through all of the dialogue the same 

“Then do it. Kill him and help me save the world.” Peter goes 

Martin pauses in silence because oops there’s really not that much more Avoiding he can do

“No” Martin says.

Elias starts to laugh. 

The Signal Comes Through

‘fUCK YEAH,’ Martin says. ‘F I N A L L Y. I am murdering him and I’m saving the world but this isn’t for you, asshole, and Imma deal with you next.’

stabbity stab 

it’s very satisfying 

‘okay but what do you mean it’s not for me, you’re supposed to sit in the chair and help me look for the Extinction?’ Peter goes 

‘nah fuck that I’m from the future and I do what I want that was me stopping the Jonah Magnus’s final ritual,’ Martin goes. ‘you really think I fell for that Extinction bullshit you aren’t nearly as good a liar as you think you are, you stay right there and we’ll decide what to do with you when everyone gets down here it’s Jon’s Institute now and we’re both very pissed at you’

Peter tries to escape into the Lonely 

it Does Not Work as Martin has More Angst than Peter to draw from so is Way More Powerful 

everyone gets down there 

ritual worked nobody died!

‘okay but why DON’T we try to look for the Extinction.’ Sasha says. ‘that seems to be a pretty important thing to stop.’

at this point everyone agrees Sasha has the best ideas 

have I mentioned that every single female character is very gay for Sasha

quite frankly maybe Tim too

Sasha is a Badass and this fic portrays her as Gertrude Robinson’s Rightful Heir 

she Deserves Good Things

and she is Gonna Stop All Future Apocalypses so actually going through with Peter’s plan is maybe not a terrible idea 

they do the thing but in a careful way that traps no one in the chair and get the info

the Extinction is still very stoppable 

there are lots of ways but honestly the best way to do it is to manipulate humanity into actually Being Better and not being on the brink of extinction 

‘this is my Institute now let’s use it to fucking save the world,’ Jon goes 

and they use all their knowledge and power to go from being a massive conspiracy about causing the apocalypse to being a massive conspiracy about bringing kindness and preventing wars and stopping the rise of fascism in politics and poking humanity from behind the scenes into something Better that can Rise Above its fears 

and everyone lives happily ever after 

but yeah this entire fic is around the premise of ‘what if the actual fix-it isn’t Change Everything To Stop Bad Things From Happening it’s Keep Everything The Same Until We’re Handed The Opportunity To Stab Jonah On A Silver Platter And Then Take It’ which I have yet to see a fic do and oops that kind of grew away from me there but anyways that’s it that’s the fic

[chaeryybomb]

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰

ITZY: IT’z ME

TITLE SONG: WANNABE

it is really really catchy!! i immediately liked it after my first listen. it reminded me a lot of “dalla dalla”, like it has the same arrangement as “dalla dalla”. i really like the beginning of the song where it has the turning sound.

my favorite part is ryujin+chaeryeong rap part and lia’s “it’s none of your business, i do my own business”

MUSIC VIDEO

it’s probably my favorite mv they have produced so far. the scenes were all very pleasing to watch and love the solo scenes of the girls. my favorite scene would be lia’s and ryujin’s scenes. like, w o w

CHOREOGRAPHY

the choreography is amazing!!! ryujin has the entire world at her feet because of the shoulder move, which by the way I still cannot understand how it works

the point choreography of it is also really nice, the one there they circle their face with their hand and where they slide their hand across their chest when they sing “i wanna be me me me”

i absolutely love the dance break! it is definitely my favorite part of the dance

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

bro ryujin is literally killing this era. p e r i o d

also I can see that the girls have improved so much! especially lia! she’s gaining more and more confidence and it looks amazing on her. as usual, yeji’s stage presence is a m a z i n g. yuna has definitely improved as well. and so has chaeryeong!

my favorite outfits of them is the mv solo scenes outfits. i just think it really suits them. and i love love love how they’re trying new hairstyles this era, unlike “dalla dalla” and “icy”s era when everyone had almost the same hairstyle for every stage.

i love how they actually let yeji perform with her hair down instead of the usual ponytail and that they gave it to yuna lmao. seriously, the hairstyles for this era is really diverse. and of course ryujin’s iconic blue hair. and I really like chaeryeong’s hair this era idk why but I do

also I love the fact that their outfits are mostly pants, they look so much more comfortable performing in them + yeji with a jacket is pretty dangerous

also, has anyone noticed that Lia has gained some weight?? which is a good thing! halfway through “icy” era, lia lost a lot of weight and I’m really glad she had gained some weight this era!

ALBUM SONGS

i know ITZY’s concept is about self confidence and the songs are more upbeat but personally I’m not a fan of it all

the album itself is catchy and nice but for me, the songs aren’t the type of songs that I’ll play on repeat

out of all of the songs, i don’t really like “ting ting ting”. i just can’t seem to like, vibe(?) with it

but my favorites of the album is “nobody like you” and “you make me”

+ lia’s iconic “you make me... speechless!”

OVERALL

overall, i felt that this comeback was definitely an improvement for itzy in dance and vocal wise. I’ve watched a few of their mr removed ( by the channel “lyma” bc it’s the only one I trust ) and their all quite stable, I’m surprised how stable ryujin can be she does the shoulder move. like I said before, lia has improved a lot in this comeback, she’s like jihyo where their voices doesn’t fit their groups initial concept, but with time, lia can improve like how jihyo did. yeji is really stable and i can understand why she gets most lines. yuna has improved and chaeryeong has been quite stable since debut, so i think she could get more lines. my only complain is that I wished that chaeryeong was the center during the dance break, considering the fact that she’s the main dancer

NCT 127: NCT #127 NEO ZONE

TITLE SONG: 英雄；Kick It

fun fact! the Chinese word “英雄” in the title means “hero” which i think is quite fitting for this comeback’s concept.

i immediately for hooked on after the first listen, yes it's that catchy

lemme introduce you to some new thangs

as someone who learns taekwando, this is the song that u can work out to lmao. it's the fuel to ur flame and makes u wanna fight someone

also jungwoo baby!! he's back!! and bitch did he gREW I THINK HE'S ALMOST JOHNNY'S HEIGHT

the highlights: taeil's high note!!! yuta+haechan "baby we go wild, 127 squad"

also johnny!!! with lines!!

MUSIC VIDEO

I just really love the entire music video okay

it's martial arts!!! it's like my hobby!!

and bruce lee!! who doesn't love bruce lee?? i absolutely love this concept in general and the music video does justice

like all the martial arts reference and bruce lee reference!!

my favorite part is when they were all dancing in the rain lol and when like behind the doors u can see silhouettes of someone fighting

CHOREOGRAPHY

hnnnnnnnngggggggg

i cannot stress e n o u g h how much I love this choreography, especially the dance break!!! it's so satisfying to watch!!!

and mark's "fight" scene in it!! bro!!

this has definitely became one of my favourite nct dances along with "black on black" and "cherry bomb"

also the part where taeyong does his "enter the dragon", the kick he does is called a side kick and lemme tell u how much I hate doing that shit so props to taeyong for doing not only, but two of it in the dance

++ center!! haechan!! the way he just smoothly slides into the center lmao

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

despite taeyong, yuta and johnny's really rude outfits from the mv, those are one of my favourites actually. they look like fighter outfits that came out from a bruce lee movie

and the bomber jackets outfits!! please I want one so badly!!! bc I'm a sucker for bomber jackets lol

bro yuta's hair colour + belly piercing

that's *chef's kiss*

and haechan's mullet!! it looks good on him!! he better start growing an actual mullet or so help me-

stage presence *inhales* were so so so so amazing

nct just has amazing stage presence in general tbh

also, johnny lowkey looks scary in this comeback besides the fact that he's also a giANT

ALBUM SONGS

you know despite the scary album cover, 70% of the songs are soft af

and yes I like it

my favourites are "sit down!" and "boom"

johnny's "don't get up, don't stand up, please don't put your hand up, and don't make me tell you again. sit down!"

bro the difference between nct dream's "boom" and nct 127's "boom" tho

johnny's rap in "dreams come true" tho

and jaehyun's high note in "day dream"

OVERALL

overall, I'm really happy to stan nct and be enjoy the comeback lmao

but yeah I really like this comeback as u can tell lol

i wonder if they're gonna release a "kick it" english version

but to be honest, this era would've fit winwin so well like, winwin himself can do flips and shit and it would've fit him so well

ELRIS: JACKPOT

TITLE SONG: JACKPOT

okay I know that their comeback was in february but it was during late february and they promoted in march

and I finally know all of their names so u can write a proper review on them now lmao

so from what I understand, elris basically went m.i.a and came back with 2 new members

the song is definitely catchy and like I said, this is really solid group. they have a really good rap line and vocal line, plus they could all be main dancers and there's no visual hole

ej and chaejeong is a great addition to the group

plus hyeseong and sohee's vocals are!! really good!!

and bella's basically a triple threat y'all

MUSIC VIDEO

the music video is really aesthetic

i like it a lot lol

the gambling concept they have on is really nice to see

CHOREOGRAPHY

ah yes the choreography

the choreography is really fun tbh

i like the chorus part the best and yukyung's bow and arrow move in between the chorus

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

ej and bella has really strong stage presence and I've watched bella on mixnine a few times

and chaejeong's purple hair stood out as well.

the one who caught my eyes is yukyung

and for the vocals, I'm quite surprised to see that karin is only 17 years old, I thought she would've been older

i really like their outfits despite coming from a smaller company, it's all bling bling and classy

ALBUM SONGS

i just wanna say chaejeong has a good set of lungs lmao, her vocals in the b-sides is really good especially in "this is me"

the entire album gave me a bit of a video game vibe like cherry bullet's "Q&A"

maybe it's because the soundtrack is like, upbeat and strong at the same time

my favourite is "this is me" and "like I do"

"this is me" reminds me of blackpink's "forever young" bc they almost have the same arrangement

both of the songs are like upbeat girl crush kind of song with a strong beat drop for the dancebreak

OVERALL

overall, elris is definitely underrated but I have a feeling they will rise to fame like everglow, if only they debuted this year, they could've been like monster rookies.

AleXa: Do Or Die

TITLE SONG: Do Or Die

okay so i feel like a lot of the english lyrics felt a bit out of place,,, idk maybe it’s just me. i think the song is quite nice, like for a sci-fi concept, i thought it’d have more heavier edm/beat drop but it actually feels light and nice to listen to it. i really like the chorus of the song and when she said “I’m a one girl army”

MUSIC VIDEO

okay ngl, I zoned out from the song bc I was so immersed into the mv. like, it reminded me a lot of the movie “alita: the battle angel”.

also the cgi?? that’s some rlly good cgi lemme tell u that, the villain of the mv was rlly scary lmao

also I really like her fight scenes with the the bad guy

CHOREOGRAPHY

the choreography looks rlly complicated, and personally I feel like it doesn’t suit alexa?? like, I know she’s talented but she almost looked out of breath during her performance stages. the choreography looks like it suited a group song better cause alexa was constantly moving. she’s a solo artist and I feel like solo artists shouldn’t do such complicated choreography unless they have a really good control over their breathing and vocals

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

I really like her outfits, it suits her a lot, though I want to see alexa perform with her hair down

my favorite outfit of hers is the white outfit that she wore in the beginning of the mv

as for stage presence, she has good stage presence but I can see that there’s room for improvement. alexa is still quite new to the solo artist game, in time she can definitely improve on everything

OVERALL

overall, i feel like this is quite a powerful comeback. like I said, alexa needs to get a better control of her breathing. but other than that, i can see that she will be quite popular in the future.

SEJEONG: Plant

TITLE SONG: Plant

the song itself is so calming?? like, it’s the perfect song to listen if you want relieve stress or something. and her vocals are so beautiful and emotional. these type of songs fit her voice so much!!

MUSIC VIDEO

the mv is literally the definition of “plant aesthetic”

literally

it’s such a pleasing sight to watch and the mv itself is truly aesthetic

CHOREOGRAPHY

okay I know “plant” doesn’t have a choreography as expected but “swim away” does so

the choreography is so simple and it honestly fits the song. i also think that with the lack of an intense choreography, sejeong’s voice can be more clearly heard since “swim away” requires her to use falsetto a lot

so with a simple choreography, she can sing in falsetto without trouble

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

sejeong literally radiates emotions when she sings, when she performs “swim away”, there’s a playful and mischievous aura around her

when she sings “plant”, you can literally feel her raw emotion through her vocals

sejeong has the potential to be a really successful solo artist!! her voice basically suits almost any style, ranging from “semina” to “not that type”

her outfits for this is so cute, i love the white dresses she wears when she performs “plant” and her outfits for “swim away” is so so so so c u t e

ALBUM SONGS

feel stress? listen to the album

need to calm down? listen to the album

the entire album itself is calming and soft, like i have a playlist for soft/emotional songs and the entire album is in there

my favorite song of the album is “hopes for tomorrow”

if y’all have seen my post about songs where the music momentarily stops and just plays the idol’s vocals, yeah that song is exactly like that

it sent shivers down my spine when I first listened to it, seriously listen to it when you have the time cause it’ll be worth it

OVERALL

overall, this is a really nice comeback and one of my favorites for this month. sejeong really has potential to be a solo artist as big as chungha. and tbh, she should’ve went solo in the first place. she really reminds me taeyeon bc both artist produce very emotional songs. i don’t know gugudan is currently doing besides the fact that mina is still an mc, but sejeong really could blow up as a solo artist.

𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

KANG DANIEL: 2U

this song is so playful and mischievous lmao. the entire mv gave me a scooby-doo kinda vibe idk why, maybe it’s bc the guard was chasing them. the song itself is really catchy, like, the entire album is catchy. also I’m really glad that daniel can now perform his songs bc apparently he was almost banned from doing so(?)

ONG SEUNG WU: Gravity

bro I feel like ex produce members are making a comeback SKSKSK

this song is like, a parallel of sejeong’s song. it gave me the same vibe okay. it’s really sad okay, I like sad songs

the mv reminded me of that BTS webtoon, you guys should go read it btw, basically in the webtoon jin has to save all the members in a day to change the future but whenever a member dies, the day resets itself. in the mv, it looks like ong was trying to save the girl from drowning and whenever he failed, the day resets itself, which I found rlly cool btw

STRAY KIDS: Mixtape: On Track

my dudes, my only theory is that jeongin has a crush on hyunjin okay

bro changbin has a nice set of vocals, I stg the rap line is out to put the vocal line out of business lmao. the song gave me the same vibe as their ost from “extraordinary you”, both written by changbin, so basically, changbin is a romantic guy-

MCND: ICE AGE

okay ngl, I have mistakenly read the group’s name as McDonald’s way too many times

but nonetheless, I like the song

a lot

my favorite part is when the rap mentions the group members names, like yo that’s so cool wtf

also the group members are really young??? Win, the blue hair dude, is LITERALLY the same age as me wtf

FAVORITE: 또 LIE

( I can’t find a proper gif sksks )

these girls dropped “loca” and went missing since then lmao

“loca” is a bop tho

“lie” kinda has the same arrangement as “loca” and the same vibe with it

+ gaeul(?) the blonde, she’s really a full package, she can rap, sing, dance AND she’s the leader??? damn

also I love go ahra

WINNER: HOLD

hHHHHHH IM GONNA MISS JINWOO

I love love love love the song and the mv, their so funny wtf sksks literal crackheads. I’m also really happy that AKMU’s Suhyun was in the mv, it makes me feel happy knowing we get YG Artists interactions okay

jinu’s voice is usually really soft and stuff but his voice in this song made me went like: tHAT’S JINU???

anyways stan winner y’all

ONEUS: A Song Written Easily

tbh, I stanned ONEWE bc “regulus” is a fucking bop and now I might need to stand ONEUS. all I know is that I really like Hwanwoong’s voice and Leedo’s voice. and the rappers can sing too??? like nice that’s some Han Jisung kinda shit there. I really like the chorus of the song and someone said if “starry night” had a little brother, it would be “a song written easily”. which I 100% agree, and it’s also really suitable considering the fact oneus and mamamoo are from the same company. It also reminds me of a song that I can’t put my finger on???

SUHO: Let’s Love

I feel when your ascend to heaven, Suho’s voice is what you hear at the gates. My dude has been underrated for too long. Remember when I said I have an entire playlist for emotional/soft songs? Yeah Suho’s album is in there. My favorites are “O2” and “Starry Night”.

[archerofthemists]

Tyrian Callows NSFW Alphabet

(That no one fucking asked for)

 A=Aftercare (what they're like after sex) - This truly depends on who you are and what you mean to him. Tyrian is ruthless in a fight, and he's no different in bed. If he cares about you, and if he thinks you need it, he'll gladly rub your sore muscles and kiss the bites he left on you. If you're some random fuck? Well...maybe just be happy if he doesn't kill you afterwards. 

B=Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also, their partner’s) Tyrian's favorite body part of his would have to be his tail, but his tongue is a close second, considering all of the possible things he can do with both. 

His favorite body part of his partner would have to be their neck and collar bone, perfect for sucking and biting. 

C=Cum (anything to do with cum) He does enjoy coming inside, watching his juices overflow and drip out of you. But honestly,  Tyrian doesn't care where he gets off, as long as he gets off.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Tyrian doesn't have many dirty secrets. He's very open about all his desires no matter how nasty. Probably the only thing he was even hesitant with was admitting he loved being hurt by you. (Biting, scratching, ect.) He wonders if you'll be willing to push the boundaries a little and hurt him some more.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Tyrian has a fair amount of experience.  He's been around a lot working for Salem. Most of his experience is in nice, rough, meaningless sex.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

He'll take any position honestly as long as he's fucking. Missionary is probably his favored because he can see your face and his tail is perfectly free to move.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) Goofy. As. Fuck. He'll joke and tease you relentlessly, and that damned maniacal laughing of his...get used to it. Especially when he's close.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) He's fairly well kept down there, nothing fancy, and a decent amount of dark public hair.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) Romanticism is a foreign area for him, but he's learning. He'll praise you endlessly through it (when he's not laughing at least).

J = Jack/Jill Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He'll do it when he really needs it, usually after a long hard fight.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) Sadism, Masochism ect. Play with his tail, pull it or rub it around where it protrudes from his lower back. He gets weak. A bit of an exhibitionist. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do) Tyrian  will literally do it ANYWHERE. Bed? The middle of the woods? In the blood of his enemies? In FRONT of his enemies? He is not shy.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) Honestly,  he's most motivated after winning a fight or watching you fight. It gets his blood pumping like nothing else.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Honestly this guy is down for just about anything. Anything that might literally kill you or himself is a no go. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) You've seen that tongue, right? Yeah he gives and gives and gives. He'll leave you on the edge of consciousness and your legs numb.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) This depends on his mood, or the events leading to the fucking. He's used to fast and rough, but he'll slow down if you really need him to.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) A nice quickie in the shower or right before a mission, but otherwise, proper, long, sex.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) Tyrian is one of the biggest risk takers out there. Like I said as long as it wont literally kill you or him he'll try anything at least once.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) This man could go all fucking night if he's got the time. He has very good stamina considering how much fighting and sparring he does.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) He loves using toys of alllll kinds. Do knives count as toys?

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Tyrian will tease and edge you until you're in tears. He'll make you beg for it for as long as possible.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) Loud as possible. He doesn't mind making any of his teammates uncomfortable if they over here. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) Because of his faunus traits, Tyrian does go into a mating season around spring time. Don't expect the feeling in your legs to come back anytime soon.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants) Average thickness but long. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) He has a very high sex drive that he usually channels out in fighting, sparring and murdering. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward) After a proper night of sex this boy can be out like a light, but considering how hard he works for Salem you can't blame him for being exhausted. 

[fanfic-inator795]

Headcanons and thoughts about Warren and Hypno/Hippoworm (is that the ship name? *shrugs*)

I had a LOT of shipping thoughts about these two while at work today, so I hope you guys like hearing about them:

Because of getting his mezmeroo attack redirected back at him, Hypno doesn’t remember his and Warren’s first meeting. Though if someone told him about it - and about Warren ruining his plan - he honestly wouldn’t hold THAT big of a grudge over it, just because he can’t remember enough to be upset and it’s so far in the past now it doesn’t even seem to matter

Given that they didn’t interact much in ‘Stuck on You’, Hypno doesn’t remember that meeting either. Literally his first impression of this strange worm man is him literally dragging a chair into the ELoM meeting and then straight up zapping a hotel worker. So… pretty good first impression

Warren on the other hand, who does remember their first meeting, was not at all impressed with Hypno at first and just considered him to be a sub-standard villain at best. (he’s kinda jelly of just how big and tall he got to be thanks to his mutation though)

A few days after ‘Evil League of Mutants’/getting blasted off again by a turtle with a ladder, Hypno runs into a rather down and depressed looking Warren who’s just wandering around alone. Not knowing him very well though liking him well enough, Hypno stops him and invites him back to his place for tea

(the semi-flashback during Warren’s big speech in WaHSiaT, the bit where Hypno pulls the paper off a sad Warren with a five o’clock shadow is a dramatization of this. Gotta make it sadder to pull on the heartstrings, lol. Also where was his gauntlet in that scene?)

The two start hanging out regularly after that, mostly just talking or watching tv together - which is where they get their love of making fun of people on tv together

Warren also really appreciates Hypno’s genuine kindness and gentleness - and the fact that he doesn’t forget who he is, heh

He tries to be nice to Hypno in return because of this, even if he sometimes still talks a bit too much about himself at times. Hypno doesn’t mind too much

The point where they first open up to each other - Hypno revealing how he lost his hippo Doug and Warren being genuine about just how much being forgotten and losing his career hurt - is the big turning point in their relationship.

Are we ever gonna learn what happened to Doug, btw? Like, seriously what’s the story there? and while we’re at it why does Warren hate the turtles so much? 

Hypno: “We may have lost a lot through all this… But, hey, we found each other, right? So, maybe it’s not all bad.” Warren decides that he agrees.

He moves into Hypno’s place shortly after

Originally Warren agreed to be Hypno’s magical assistant just to try and get his face back out there and earn some fans, but eventually found that he also liked helping Hypno and making him happy

Warren just naturally sits on Hypno’s shoulder or head when they watch tv, Hypno not minding at all (besides, makes it easier to cuddle)

their fave gameshows to watch (and make fun of) are Wheel of Fortune, The Price is Right and America’s Got Talent (Hypno likes making fun of the bad magic acts, and when the acts are amazing Warren will tell him they’re not NEARLY as amazing as him)

When Warren has a bad day, Hypno will wash/condition his hair and give him a scalp massage, letting his roomie vent all he wants while Hypno scrubs his troubles away

When Hypno has a bad day, Warren will get him fresh fruit, something Hypno’s loved ever since his mutation

On one occasion: “Kiwis for my favorite kiwi!” “…*sigh* You just couldn’t resist, eh?” “Nope!” 

Warren also gets Hypno flowers sometimes, since Hypno really seems to like them

Hypno may or may not be keeping the first bouquet Warren ever bought him - yellow tipped with red roses - alive with magic

Trying to be as proper and dignified as possible, Hypno almost never curses - which means Warren totally teases him whenever he lets a ‘bugger’ or a ‘god dammit’ slip

Warren on the other hand couldn’t care less about swears. He doesn’t swear every other sentence or anything - I’d imagine it would be hard to get a job in television if that were the case - but if he’s really worked up or angry he won’t try to censor himself

For the first few weeks of their relationship, Google was Warren’s best friend. Now, Warren knows (almost) every New Zealand phrase there is

Going off his ‘my golden voiced amigo’ line, Hypno loves listening to Warren sing to himself whenever he’s in the shower (technically the bathroom sink since he’d just end up getting washed down the shower drain but w/e)

This also means that karaoke nights between the two of them are frequent

Their first Big Fight was over Hypno’s doves continuing to try and eat Warren and Warren nearly zapping their feathers off. 

It wasn’t bad enough to break them up, but Warren was all pissy and purposely annoying the rest of that day while Hypno just gave him the cold shoulder

After a day of this they got lonely and missed each other, so they apologized to each other and Hypno spent the rest of that week diligently training his doves

Hypno’s rabbits, on the other hand, Warren doesn’t mind at all, and if one is out and hopping about and Hypno isn’t there, Warren will usually pet it/curl up on it

Warren’s a naturally fairly neat and tidy person, so he doesn’t mind too much when Hypno skips out on his side of the chores, even if he’s still slightly annoyed

to make up for this, Hypno does most of the cooking around the place and always has a cup of coffee or tea waiting for his roomie/best friend/boyfriend

When they first realized Warren and the Gauntlet were being hunted down by Draxum, Warren tried to leave, genuinely worried about Hypno’s safety even if he tried to play it off at first

Hypno refuses. “I can’t lose you too!”

This is the first time they tell each other they love each other (with how naturally Warren said it in WaHSiaT, that couldn’t have been the first time)

Warren fell into a depressive state after losing ‘Charlotte’. Hypno comforted him the best he could, but after a couple days passing with nothing changing, Hypno thought that maybe Warren was mad at him for the role he played in losing the gauntlet. So, Hypno spent the whole day and a good part of the night out of the apartment, figuring he should just give Warren some space

This led to him coming back and finding Warren in the middle of a complete and total emotional breakdown

He’s sad and angry about losing his cool power glove, but even moreso, he’s afraid that without it not only is he weak, but he’s truly forgettable and useless - even to the people he loves most and who love him. His Channel 6 co-workers forgot about him, why wouldn’t Hypno eventually?

This led to LOTS of apologizing/comforting/reassuring/hugs and kisses on Hypno’s part, with Warren eventually crying himself out on Hypno’s shoulder and the two of the sleeping on the couch together

After going back to Clem’s and not finding another magic artifact that feels as ‘right’ as the gauntlet did and discovering that a simple handgun would send him through a freaking wall on recoil, Warren decided to just have a taser on him as his new weapon. At least a taser is similar enough to a lightning-shooting gauntlet. He names it Charlotte the 2nd.

Hypno also uses his magic to shrink down a couple of his razor rings to give to Warren. Even if Warren can’t control their aim with magic, they still cause a decent amount of damage to an enemy with a hard enough throw.

Despite practically being together since Warren moved in, when the two of them officially decide to go from best friends to boyfriends they end up inviting all their old ELoM mates over to celebrate and announce the good news (minus Draxum, naturally). Todd and the Sando Brothers are happy for them, Repo could care less, and Meatsweats says congrats but is mostly just trying to figure out how to get Warren alone so he can maybe get a taste of his regeneration powers

He gets smacked on the snout with Hypno’s wand and nearly takes a razor ring to his face for his troubles.

Hypno still tries to help Warren with his plans whenever he’s a particular ‘revenge against those dang turtles’ mood and Warren will assist when Hypno has a scheme of his own, but mostly the two of them keep each other satisfied enough that they spend most of their time hanging out, watching tv and practicing magic (and cuddling/kissing) together

PHEW! Like I said, I had a lot. BUT I hope you guys liked it! ^v^ btw, I may turn that whole emotional breakdown bit into a Hippoworm oneshot, but if any hardcore Warren and Hypno shippers wanna steal that idea, go for it! *thumbs up* ^v^

[kaceyrps]

Since I think I might finally have some more time, I’d love to start some new plots under the cut are a few I really want rn, but I’m always open to plotting something else out. If you like anything, just hum or hit the heart!

Plots

can someone pls give me a ‘you left 3 yrs ago in the middle of the night with not even a goodbye letter and now you’re on my door step w a kid that looks exactly like me’ plot pls

I really want to do a 1x1 where Muse A and Muse B, met at a bar one night and ended up having a deep conversation that culminated in a make-out session. Muse A promised to call Muse B, but never did and Muse B didn’t have Muse A’s phone number. A couple of months passed with Muse B thinking about their night with Muse A - not being able to find that connection with someone else. Then Muse B finally meets Muse A again, only to find Muse A is dating their best friend. Despite both parties trying to push aside their feelings after meeting again, things get complicated. (They could either decide to keep things friendly or it would lead to a relationship, depending on how the rp goes).

we absolutely hate each other but we’re the romantic leads so i guess we have to make this work

i’m the stage manager and you’re the self-absorbed diva, so naturally we despise each other

i’m the understudy for your character’s love interest and since he’s not here today you asked me to help you run the kissing scene and i’m really attracted to you

A plot based on cutting edge

consider this: classic “one of the boys” girl who hangs out with the frat bros accidentally falling in love with an elle woods-esque sorority girl that she meets at a party??? muse a comes from a family w like a million older brothers so ofc she makes a beeline for the frats when she gets to college bc she feels most comfortable around boys. the only thing is, she dreads their mixers with the sorority girls bc she hates the “prissy glitter bitches” and wants to vomit whenever she sees lilly pulitzer lmao. so when muse b comes up to her at one of these mixers and introduces herself, muse a is like lol ok w/e. but to her surprise, muse b is actually like…. interesting and smart and yes definitely ridiculous but she’s still shocked that she actually has a personality. and when muse b keeps seeking her out at the mixers, muse a suddenly finds herself more and more flustered as she realizes that she has a GIANT ASS CRUSH on this girl. honestly pls just give me cute college girls in love with frat bros cheering for them in a non-gross manner

give me a couple that met through youtube ( maybe one of them mentioned the other on their channel, through mutual friends, at an event/meet-up ? how they actually connected is up to you ! oh – and they could have polar opposite channels or similar channels ! ) who started off as friends doing trendy collab videos, but everyone fell in love with their dynamic and pointed out how natural their chemistry was or how one looked at the other and vice versa ––- the little things ! what the viewers didn’t know was that muse a was crushing hard on muse b and muse b was crushing equally hard on muse a, but obviously neither one of them were going to risk ruining their great friendship. soon enough, the two spilled their woes and became an item, however they kept it a secret for a few months. finally, after much debate they decided to go public and their subscribers went wild some saying ‘they knew all along’ or ‘they’re so happy’ while others said it ’wouldn’t last’ or ‘they’re doing it for the views’. fast forward to a few years later: now they’re living together in ( california, england, anywhere ! ), documenting their daily shenanigans for their shared vlogging channel, attending events, and keeping their separate channels fresh and exciting with occasional or frequent collabs ! 

13 going on 30 plot where they were really close when they were younger, and then they both went there separate ways. and then they meet up later on, and they just start spending a lot of time together and start becoming best friends and then they slowly start to fall in love with each other (✿◠‿◠) liKE PLEASE I NEED THIS!!

wild child: muse a is sent to a horrific private boarding school. no phone, no laptop. it’s like being back in the 17th century. muse a is a wild child, always has been, and they refused to be disciplined. they need a way out of this school and fast- and no better solution comes then muse b.. the principals child that comes to visit on weekends and is loved by all, and extremely good looking. the plan is easy, get muse b’s attention, make them fall for muse a and get caught by the principal and get out of this school. but then those pesky real feelings start to get in the way, and what started as a way to leave, has started to turn into a reason to stay.

the duff: muse a has never been conventionally attractive, and that has never bothered them before. until one day at a party when muse b asks muse a where their friends are. when muse a states it’s not their job to disclose information on their friends, muse b calls them something they’ll never forget. duff. designated. ugly. fat. friend. a mean word, sure, but then slowly… muse a starts to see it. their friends are incredible, good looking, everybody knows them. and muse a is a no one. forced to be paired together in a school assignment together, muse a can’t stand muse b and their cocky, arrogant attitude. muse b continues to call muse a ‘duffy’, thinking it’s funny and gets on their nerves. in a moment of blind anger- muse a finds themselves slamming muse b into a wall. and then proceeding to angrily make out with them. kissing turns into removal of clothes, and before they know it muse a and muse b have slept together. muse a swears it will never happen again, and muse b loves taunting muse a. but they just tick each other off in the wrong way, and end up having angry, hot, rushed sex more and more. it’s just physical anger relief for muse a, but muse b starts to genuinely fall for muse a. when they reveal it though- muse a blows up and demands to know why anybody would want to be with the duff, let alone muse b. suddenly, muse b realises the nickname was more then just a joke and a way to get under muse a’s skin and that they’ve really truly hurt the one person they love.

muse a and muse b had lived in the same town their entire lives. on the first day of kindergarten, they sat across from each other on the bus and muse b offered muse a one of his animal crackers. from then on, they were attached at the hip. they remained inseparable through elementary school, and by the time middle school came around, muse a found puberty working in her favor. muse a was outgoing, funny, and beautiful, and everyone wanted to be her friend. muse b, on the other hand, was awkward and shy, and the only attention he got was negative. despite their differences, muse a and muse b remained close friends, and muse a often found herself having to defend muse b against the bullying. in the middle of 8th grade, muse b disappeared from school and moved halfway across the country with his family. muse a tried to stay in touch, but it seemed like every time she reached out to him, she was brushed off. eventually the two lost connection and moved on.fast forward to high school. muse a finds herself caught up in the wrong crowd, and after a string of pregnancy rumors, she loses most of her close friends and becomes virtually invisible. muse a pours herself into her love of poetry and writing to try and entertain her loneliness. that is, until she walks into school to find an extremely attractive boy leaned up against her locker. muse b is back, and despite all of his new found attention from girls, he only has eyes for muse a.

i need a plot where muse a and muse b recently broke up and then muse a gets in some kind of accident and suffers temporary amnesia and forGETS they were ever broken up and its SO awkward for muse b but hes still in love with muse a and too afraid to tell the truth so he’s just waiting for muse a to remember and !!! fake relationships ! secrets ! pining ! fluff ! angst ! everything goodb y e

someone give me a “i’m the legacy of the prim and proper stereotypical sorority on campus and i’m expected to rush, live, and breathe it throughout my time here and it’s the night before rush and i got invited to this party at the rival, party girl sorority and that girl over there is really pretty and keeps smiling at me and now her mouth is on mine and i’m a little more than drunk and in bed with her and i wake up the next morning and she’s gone, i don’t even know her name. and now it’s rush night and - holy shit…there she is, and she’s the president of the rival, party girl sorority.” plot,,1!!!!!!!

Muse A just had their heart broken and decided to shy away from relationships, so their friends dragged them out for a night to get them out of the house. Enter muse B. Someone who spends the night flirting with muse A, but gets nowhere. Muse B gives muse A their number, saying if they change their mind to call. Muse A, after some prompting from friends, calls muse B and they go out on a date – one they both enjoy. But just as muse A comes around to the idea of a new relationship, muse B finds out that muse A’s ex, is muse B’s sibling. Muse A and muse B had the perfect marriage. They were happy, just bought their first house and had a baby. Until muse B tragically died – or at least that’s what muse A thought. Muse B had witnessed a crime, and had to be put in witness protection. Not wanting to risk the life of muse A and their child, muse B let them believe that they were dead. When the trial is finally over with, and the threat is locked away, muse B is left to go back to their old life but has no idea how to tell muse A about what happened.

Muse A is seen as the town’s rebel and isn’t exactly well known for following the rules. Muse B is the new principle’s child, and wanting to get back at their parent for moving them without asking, muse B decides they want to date muse A. It’s just unfortunate timing, since muse A decided to try and clean up their act - something muse B is determined not to let happen.

Things I want plots based on

The candy jar

Disney’s zombies

Lizzie McGuire

Descendants 

Hocus Pocus

Chrismas Inheritance 

Prince & Me

Charmed 

Gilmore Girls

Harry Potter

Secret Circle 

Parent Trap

10 things I hate about you

Drive me crazy

Ships I’d like

Peter Parker/MJ

Fitzsimmons 

Mumu ideas

summer camp counselors: between the ages of 18 ad 21, volunteers from colleges around the country (BONUS: around the entire world) flock here to guide children through the summer of their lives, coincidentally also making this the best summer of their own lives.

co-ed college dorms:  Simply a group of students living in one building, trying to get along and figure themselves out in the process.

tour: There’s a band on the rise to fame and they’ve brought along two opening acts and entire crew that helps make the entire process that much smoother. Heads will clash, too many personalities together for too many months on end.

sleepy beach town: Every summer there are quite a few families that spend their summers unwinding in a town far from home. There are families that have become quite close due to the three months spent out of every month in this small town. There are also those families that are spending their first year here. This could test friendships and even relationships that have already developed.

kids of famous people: over the years, it’s been no secret that the celebrities we’ve known to love and care for from afar have grown to have families of their own. Now, it’s their children’s turn to make something of their lives. Do they follow in their parents footsteps or do they do something entirely different? Are they snotty self absorbed or do they give back every chance they get? There are millions of possibilities.

apartment complex: A bunch of diverse people all living in one building together. There’s this small family type bond between them but they still aren’t afraid to start crap when it’s necessary. At the end of the day, they will always have each others back when it’s needed

gossip girl: it’s been 25 years since Dam Humphry came out as Gossip Girl. There have been plenty of fakes trying to capture the things he’d been able to for all those years but no one could ever live up to the greatness that was the true Gossip Girl. Until now. There’s a new gossip site online that’s got their eye on everything happening around the New York elite. Rumors spread that Dan’s back in the game after all these years but there’s someone greater wreaking havoc on these young adults lives. (Could be the kids of the former group and their friends or an entirely different crew of elite)

[interrogatormentors]

Event Seven: Freezer Burn

Sleep came in fits and starts for the trainees, but they all snatched what little they could as their training continued. Despite this, they all spent the scant hour of free time the instructors allotted them in different ways. Zesaim studied, scouring books whose origins she refused to reveal for interrogation techniques. Rosmer baked in beakers, often coercing Sollux into using his psionics as a heat source. Ophlia worked out, Trisia ever by her side. Sollux himself dozed as he idly explored the limitations of his tablet, poking holes in the security to try and get his nose out for some news. Ualona often joined him, his maroon text a constant in the chat channels.

- actualizedClairvoyant [AC] has begun trolling twinArmageddons [TA]!-

AC: any progress on protecting a c-| |-annel? AC: avoiding mics is cool and all but w-| |-at if t-| |-ey are monitoring everyt-| |-ing we type? TA: no progre22 TA: they’re reportiing all thii2 2hiit two the empiire and the drone2ll be here iin liike two hour2 AC: D: TA: who do you fuckiing take me for ii’ve coded liike fiive proxiie2 iin the la2t ten miinute2 alone. AC: -| |-ell yeah! AC: so can you send me t-| |-at new installment of sunspots and starship -| |-eresy you found on the net t-| |-en because i kind of need somet-| |-ing to take my mind off tomorrow’s private training AC: i -| |-eard its gonna be some INTENSE friggin quizzes TA: god ii don’t want two enable you gettiing your globe2 off two helmiing porn you know that riight. AC: i mean AC: w-| |-en you put it t-| |-at way… TA: w/e iidgaf

-twinArmaggedons [TA] has sent file [kiinkyba2tard.xml]!-

TA: porn ii2n’t trea2on anyway we don’t need protected channel2 for that. TA: 2o who’2 goiing two be your traiiner tomorrow niight?? AC: that pozoia guy that oversees the p-| |-ysical training :[ AC: im freaking out!! -| |-es going to eat me alive! AC: w-| |-at about you? TA: rapard. AC: O-| |- S-| |-IT TA: w/e TA: he doe2n’t 2care me.

The next night when the morning alarms went off, however, Sollux hesitated as he squinted at his schedule for the day.

Sollux Captor: Report at Training Block A13 - Rapard - Dress Code: Swimwear

“Swimwear?” Zesaim’s puzzled voice came from her bunk just as Sollux read the words on his own schedule, and he looked over. “What happened to quizzes?”

“I don’t see how having a personal trainer’s going to help us swim better,” Sollux said, sitting up on the platform. “God, I don’t give a shit if I have to chase a wader through open sea, I’m drowning regardless.” He ducked, just in time to avoid a pillow getting thrown at him by Mercuo at terminal velocity. The seadweller glared at him from his bunk.

“You’ll need the fucking practice if you don’t want me to drown you,” Mercuo said, climbing down from his own bunk.

Sollux snorted, flicking Mercuo’s fin once with his psionics before stripping down. They filtered out to their assigned blocks after that, and it seemed the coolbloods didn’t receive any alteration to their dress codes for the day. Sollux found walking alone to a lesson disconcerting, and the halls seemed so much chillier and ominously dark without someone at his side. The faint fizzle of the lights above him served as the only background sound apart from the faint paps of his own bare feet on the metal tile.

He stopped in front of block A13 after a few minutes, looking up at the door. The metal seemed thick and reinforced, and a card reader sat adjacent to the heavy handle. A hand reached past Sollux, sliding a card into the reader and causing Sollux to jump. He hadn’t heard Rapard coming. “Quit flinching, helmbait,” Rapard said, hauling the door open. The door hissed, steam rushing out of the dark block in a billowing cloud. Sollux took a step, paused, and then moved forward only after Rapard shot him an unimpressed look.

The cold had given Sollux pause, an almost physical wall of frigid air that only intensified as the door behind him closed with a heavy thud. For a brief moment only the natural illumination from Sollux’s own eyes cast any sort of light, before a single, dim bulb on the ceiling flicked on. It didn’t really help. A metal chair stood fixed in the middle of the room, and Sollux felt a prickle of fear skitter up his spine as he spotted manacles on the armrests and near the legs. “What kind of quiz--”

“Emotional endurance is the topic today,” Rapard said. He gestured towards the chair, one eyebrow arching up. “I don’t have all night, recruit.”

Sollux gritted his teeth, glancing from the chair to the door and back again. Rapard stood between him and the door, and somehow he doubted he could overpower a fully matured seadweller in such a cold environment. Sollux’s own limbs felt stiff, and his teeth already chattered. He had his pride, but he also had an ounce of self-preservation in his bones. He sat down in the chair, jerking away too slow to avoid the manacles snapping shut around his wrists and ankles.

“I get the physical training, I get the mediculler shit, but what the fuck is up? Sir,” he added at the expression on Rapard’s face.

“How slow do I have to speak to drill something through your pan, recruit?” Rapard said, starting to pace, a shark circling through icy waters. “Welcome to emotional conditioning. The goal today is to learn control. The moment you emote, your quarry loses faith in your resolve to hurt them.” Rapard stopped off to Sollux’s left, shifting his weight from left to right before settling back on his heels. His expression remained as blank as ever. “This also serves as a practical demonstration of your schoolfeeding. Recap what you learned about temperature moderation and interrogation, grublet.”

Sollux took a breath, trying to settle the sparks already settling around his hornbeds that had triggered out of anxiety. “Temperature. Short-term temperature shifts out of habitable zones can lower reaction time and inhibitions. Long-term it can influence the immune system and wear a troll down.”

Rapard snorted, reaching into the breast pocket of his uniform and pulling out a small remote. He pressed a button, and fans lining the walls kicked on with a furious intensity. Sollux yelped, turning his face away from the sudden blast of cold air smacking against his face. “Temperature drop, two degrees,” Rapard said. “Watch those sparks-- I can read you like a fucking book. Get it together.” He started pacing again, and Sollux tried to resist the urge to follow his movements with his head. “What temperatures can the average lowblood withstand?”

“Average?” Sollux worried his lower lip with his teeth, scrambling to answer ahead of Rapard’s impatience. “Hypothermia takes place at an internal temperature of 97 degrees, and we can survive with an external temperature of 140 with enough water.”

The fans whirred again, and Sollux gritted his teeth. “Watch those ears,” Rapard said. “In the interrogatormentors, your emotions are a weakness. If you can’t turn them off like the husktop you are, then what use are you? You can’t be caught at the mercy of your own instincts.” He shook his head, still pacing in a wide circle around Sollux. “What will affect a lowblood’s internal temperature more, cold air or water?”

Sollux faltered, looking up to the fans. Well, that seemed like the proper answer right there. He couldn’t think straight, really, his thoughts coming to him in sluggish waves as he shivered in his bonds. A red light blinked in the corner of the room, a camera watching this entire affair. What did they even need this footage for? “Cold air,” he said finally.

Rapard hummed. “Interesting answer,” he said. “This isn’t about the immediate effect, this is a matter of thermodynamics.” An odd click came from above Sollux, and he looked up just in time for a set of freshly revealed nozzles protruding from the ceiling to unleash a deluge of icy water. Sollux sputtered, gasping and choking against the spray. The water left him a shuddering mess, each breath an agony stabbing into his lungs.

“I gffkfk- got it,” he said, coughing hard. “Cold. Cold’ssss good.” His lisp had worsened due to the chattering of his teeth, and he found himself biting his tongue more than once. “Fuck. Fuck.”

The fans came to life again, and Sollux screwed his eyes shut. “You’re cursing out of an emotional response,” Rapard said. Sollux felt cold hands grasp his jaw, and he peeled his eyes open to meet the seadweller’s own. “Turn off your emotions, brat.”

Sollux took a breath as Rapard released him, schooling his response back. He tried focusing inwards, fixating on the thought of warmth, of his bunk and fresh food and summer nights. Turn it off, turn it off, turn the emotions off, think of something else. His expressioned slackened, smoothing out into an expressionless mask despite the way his muscles spasmed due to the cold.

The quizzing continued from there, and Sollux did his best to answer each question thrown at him. The temperature kept dropping despite his efforts, until he felt icicles gathering in his nose and his eyes felt swollen from how much tears streamed down his cheeks from the cold. The lesson continued even after Sollux started hacking blood onto his legs and the floor, his entire body quaking. He couldn’t hear his own voice. He didn’t even know what he said in response to Rapard’s questions, and he knew at least half of his answers were unintelligible. He couldnt even begin to imagine what warmth felt like anymore.

Eventually Rapard looked at his watch and hit another button, and the manacles around Sollux’s limbs popped open. Sollux couldn’t have moved if he tried, and it took careful prying and warm water to loosen him from his quite literal frozen position in the chair. Sollux struggled to remain conscious as Rapard swung him over his shoulder, gasping as they emerged into the relative heat of the outside corridors.

Rapard deposited Sollux into a communal block, into a flock of suffering recruits. To the left side of the room, where Sollux tumbled onto the ground, lowbloods clustered around each other in bundles of blankets, heated mats underneath them. To the right, highbloods all seemed intent on drowning themselves in ice baths. Sollux couldn’t bring himself to move, and remained face down until he felt a blanket settling around his shoulders.

“Hey, Sparkles,” said a weak voice above him. Sollux looked up to see Trisia, her face flushed a brilliant teal and her dreadlocks hanging limply around her cheeks. “You look like shit.”

Sollux let out a ragged laugh, fingers curling around the edges of the blanket. “You do too. Did they stick you guys into an oven?”

He heard shuffling behind him then, and a sniffle. “I want to die,” Ualona said, voice very small. “They didn’t warn us it’d be like this. We’re the interrogatormentors, not- Why are they torturing us?”

The door opened again, revealing a petite purple with a massive collar of spikes framing the back of her head like a matured daywalker. She pushed a stumbling Ophlia into the room, tittering and wiping a little smear of purple from the corner of her own mouth before shutting the door. Sollux caught a glimpse of the back of her neck then, which revealed that the spikes were indeed protruding from her skin in a uniform circles of daywalker bruises along her spine. When Ophlia lifted her head, Sollux saw her ear was bleeding. Sollux swore, shivering. “This place is fucked.”

Trisia got up again, and Sollux heard her murmuring to Ophlia before supporting her up to an ice bath. Ualona scooted closer, and Sollux saw an ominous darkness to his nose and the edges of his fingers. “What did Rapard promise you?” he said.

Sollux tried to think of what Ualona meant, but nothing came to him. He only shrugged, his cheek pressed up against the floor. “Nothing. But I'm not waiting to find out what you're talking about,” he said. “Let the others know.” He closed his eyes. “We’re getting out of here.”

[mook-pooltable]

Uncle Sam AU

Rosie: Okay, the first idea I had is a crossover idea that could result in something similar to my HatID story that partially inspired by an idea I saw on Ao3.

Harry, while still in school, goes to Gringotts and asks for a hereditary test to find out if he has any other living family besides the Dursleys (cause let's face it, he's *desperate* to get away from them). He finds out he had someone who's still around on his mother's side of the family, a cousin of his grandfather, Harold Evans.

The man's name is "Sammy Lawrence". The test shows if the other members are alive, cast out of the family, or other such statuses by showing their names in different colors, and *his* name is written in an unusual color. The color in question means “Alive but Incapacitated” (Or something along those lines)

Mango: OOOOO yes i like this

Rosie: (Maybe "Entrapped" would be better?)

Mango: (ye, that would probably work better)

Rosie: Harry, being desperate for *any chance* of a family member that doesn't hate his existence, decided he wanted to find his Great Uncle Sammy. The goblins say they can run an investigation for him, while he goes through the proper channels to get to the states while underage. (Which also includes finding a place to stay, getting a passport, etcetera.)

Mango: i'd love to read this fanfic.

Rosie: The things get a little, weird.

Mango: no doubt

Poe: question: is sammy mom or dad's side of the family, i’m thinking dad but...

Rosie: Sammy Lawrence had gone missing years ago, along with most of the employees at the Cartoon Studio where he worked. But there was never an investigation by MACUSA since the Grindlewald War was still going on and had finally reached American shores. Sammy was the cousin of Harry's grandfather on his mother's side of the family.

Poe: gotcha gotcha

Rosie: Harry, still wanting to know more, decides he's going to go overseas anyway and maybe find and look around the Studio himself. But the goblins are smart enough (and not willing to lose such a valued customer) to set up a "Back Up" time frame for him. Meaning when he goes, if he doesn't contact them after a certain period of time, they will send people to go looking for him.

Mango: smart

Rosie: This, in turn, keeps Harry from being absolutely terrified while in the studio. He knows help is coming, he just needs to keep calm and safe until they arrive.

Mango: poor naive boy

Rosie: Overall, it's good logic. He needs to keep himself safe, and he needs to not fall into a mindless panic.

Mango: true

Rosie: But then he meets Sammy. Sammy is a lot of things (including crazy), but he knows that his "Lord" was born from a children's cartoon character, and probably wouldn't be happy with him if he tried to sacrifice a child.

Mango: ohhh boy

Rosie: So he tries to catch Harry, and move him to a "safer" place.

Mango: awww

Rosie: But he doesn't know about Harry's fight reflexes. The ones the wizarding world trained into him.  Sammy gets a stunner to the face for his efforts.

Mango: oof then he reverts to true salt briefly "listen, kid, i'm trying to keep you safe!"

Rosie: "I'm sorry! You startled me!" Sammy; What are you even doing here? Harry; I-I'm looking for someone.

Mango: "tell me their name, i might know of them"

Rosie: "Sammy, Sammy Lawrence. He-He was my Mum's Uncle. I wanted to find him." Cue silent shock.

Mango: sammy freezes up at that

Lili: I LOVE THIS

Rosie: 'I had a niece?' I think Sammy is going to be an older cousin of Harry's grand-dad. Like, a much older cousin.

Mango: "well, you found me, kid, now what?"

Rosie: (well hello awkward silence, how nice of you to join us.)

Mango: (XD)

Rosie: I dunno what would happen then, but I think it would "end" with the Goblins sending a full rescue team of Curse Breakers after the first few arrive and sense the sheer *volume* of dark magic from the studio, and then Sammy is living a mostly sane ink man with his great-nephew while being treated by the local magical hospital. And all wizards that show up at their door get the full brunt of Sammy Salt.

Mango: i want sammy getting salty at hogwarts

Rosie: I envision lots of shorts that would basically be "The Life and Times of a Wizard and an Ink Man".

Mango: yesssss

Rosie: Harry is very interested in Curse Breaking and Medical Magic now. Sammy is pissed that Hogwarts doesn't offer proper Music and Drama programs. "What do you *mean* you never had a music class there?!"

Mango: he has half a mind to storm up to the school and DEMAND an arts program

Rosie: "Get me an instrument, no one in my family is *not* going to know how to play *something* musical." Hell, he'd probably teach the kids *himself* with how offended he'd be at the concept. "I don't care if it's a bloody *recorder* Harry, you are going to learn to play music."

Trash Ma: he did have that flute hagrid made him in first year

Rosie: Oh, that's perfect!

Trash Ma: The one that sounded like an owl That Harry used to get past fluffy

Rosie: Yes. "My, that's actually quite nice. Now you'll need to hold it like this..." Sammy turns out to be pretty good with kids. Or, at least, he's good with Harry. I like this new idea. "Good Dad" Sammy. It has a nice ring to it.

Mango: sammy? a dad? yes please

Rosie: Or at least "Good Uncle" Sammy. I want to see wizards trying to handle Angry Ink Man Sammy acting in defense of his nephew.

Mango: y e s also, the Dursleys getting tried for child abuse

Rosie: Harder to pull with Sammy still being and ink man. He can't exactly stand up in court. Unless it was a Magical Court. Now then, back to Uncle Sam.

Mango: UNCLE SAM everyone at hogwarts being a little confused about harry's inky american uncle

Rosie: How about after finding out was his great-nephew, he gets super protective of him in the Studio.

Mango: y e s

Rosie: "Oh no, 'My Lord' can go *fuck* himself, I'm not letting him lay a *single finger* on you."

Trash Ma: So is sammu related to lily or james

Mango: and i am 1000000% behind uncle sammy protecting harry in the studio

Rosie: Lily.

Mango: sammy's the cousin of lily's grandpa, right?

Rosie: Lily's dad, Harry's grandpa. He's the older cousin of Lily's dad.

Mango: ah makes sense

Trash Ma: Harry's grandpa's name was also Harry  i mean not canonically but i like that

Rosie: I wrote it as Harold. He was named "Harry" in honor of him.

Trash Ma: yaaaaass

Mango: i like this

Rosie: Sammy is now also dead set on getting Harry out of the Studio safely. Even when the Salt is mostly replaced by Crazy, he still wants Harry out of there Safely. He ditches the Bendy mask at some point too.

Mango: he's not letting harry see that

Rosie: As the Curse Breakers extract more people/toons from the studio, they end up being placed under the care of House Potter, since Harry is letting the Goblins fund the clean out with money from the Potter vaults. Since his search was what started it all. So Harry's ending up with a big, messed up, traumatized, and mentally wounded family living under his roof.

Mango: LOTTA TOONS

Rosie: And Sammy ending up the "Boss" of the house since he's the "oldest member" of Harry's family (and is now his guardian thanks to the Goblins) What if Uncle Sam was one of those border-line Hover Parents? He doesn't hover Harry's shoulder, but he *does* repeatedly stuck his head in the room and go "Everything alright in here?" Also, someone starts laughing really hard the first time Sammy gets called "Uncle Sam". Then they start confusing people by quoting the recruiting posters. "Uncle Sam wants YOU!" "Oh, shut up, would you?" Harry is so confused.

Poe: Pfft

Rosie: I want Sammy to start having one of his "Prophet"- Episodes while Dumbledore is trying to talk him into sending Harry back to Dursleys. "No, it's not going to happen. I will not allow it. He WiLl nOt be gOinG BaCk to TheM!" "Uncle Sammy, please calm down! Professor, I think you should leave for now." Dumbledore; "Now Harry, I'm sure we can talk this-" Harry; "No sir, Uncle Sammy has some issues he's still recovering from. I need to stay because I'm the only one that's safe when it kicks in. You should *really* leave Professor." Sammy; "LeAVe uS, Old GOaT. Or YoU'lL be An OfFerEd sHeEP." *Sammy starts singing the Sheep song from the game*

Lili: :D But also D: I love it But poor everyone

Rosie: *Harry pulls Sammy away and shoves Dumbles out the door* And yet the Goblins still had proof that Sammy (even with his Schizophrenia) was a better guardian for Harry than the Dursleys. The Prophet is obsessively protective of Harry. And still does a good job caring for him. Lots of food, hugs- he's actually kind of dotting, to be honest. He just talks crazy while doing it. Harry has gotten very good at cleaning spells. They have this weird balance for who's the Kid and who's the Adult. When Sammy's head is clear, he's the stable adult that makes sure Harry is happy and healthy and doing well with the school stuff he has.

Poe: Oh my god that's so cute and also sad I love it

Lili: PERFECT MIX OF FLUFF AND ANGST

Rosie: When the Prophet is out, Harry is the one keeping track of things and making sure Sammy doesn't hurt himself or others, but still letting him dot. But the ended up being very good at it. And they both end up helping each other heal. Harry with getting Sammy stable mentally and recovering from the damage of being trapped in the studio for so long, and Sammy getting to be more comfortable with himself and with actually having family that cared about him.

Poe: Aww,,

Lili: :')

Rosie: And the Salty Ink Man ends up becoming an honorary Goblin

Poe: I love recovery stories so much okay This is my j a m

Lili: Recovery stories are great

Poe: Like my favorite part about angst and trauma is the recovery it's so good

Rosie: He finds out about the people profiting from the disaster that befell the Potter family, and his nephew. He gets them to put up libel fines for that Boy-Who-Lived crap, and fines for anyone that had taken stuff from the Godric Hollow house after it had fallen. (You *know* there were souvenir hunters that broke in for stuff) Harry is shocked that there are laws about that kind of stuff and why no one told him about them before.

Mango: i love the entire uncle sammy arc

Rosie: I think this would have started before Harry's third year of school. It's the only one I can think of where Harry could have had the time for the test and to gather the stuff for going overseas. I'm gonna say the stuff that leads to Harry going to Diagon happened earlier, so he had more time decided to to go the states instead of waiting until the end of the next school year. Since he did that, he ends up staying in the states of the first half of his third year. So ho doesn't know about Sirius be connected to the Potters until Sammy tries to get a look at the wills of Harry's parents, finds out they were sealed, and that Harry's Godfather had never gotten a trial.

Mango: tRIAL FOR SIRIUS, WOO HOO  i just really like sirius, doggone it

Rosie: Abso-freaking-lutely!

Mango: how well would sammy and sirius get along?

Rosie: And Dumbledore getting himself into trouble. Yes, once they got over the initial bumps in the road.

Mango: now i want sammy in prophet mode to call sirius a sheepdog

Rosie: Sammy would be mad at him for putting his need for revenge over his responsibility to care for Harry in his best friend's place.

Mango: rip

Rosie: But he feels like the 12 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit are enough of a punishment. So now he just has to *make it up* to Harry.

Mango: wait, who thinks that, sammy?

Rosie: Sammy thinks that about Sirius.

Mango: ah, okay "i suffered for over tHiRty YeArS in that damned studio before Harry came looking for me"

Rosie: As for Dumbledore, he's in a lot of hot water for sealing the will of an old pure-blood family,  and claiming it was to keep Harry's location a secret. And unintentionally blocking the path of justice while he was at it.

Mango: ffs dumbles

Rosie: What was the rest of Sammy's sentence? Was there more after what you wrote?

Mango: i just don't like periods but i was thinking that he’d say something like, "so don’t even SPEAK to me about imprisonment"

Rosie: Oh, it just sounded like he was going to say more. (Well, I don't think Dumbledore was a witness for the will, so he wouldn't have known what was in it. But with his firm belief in second chances, he could have thought that Petunia would have been listed as a safe person for Harry to be left with. I don't like a purely evil Dumbledore, I like him as a misguided person better)

Mango: that makes sense he still gets in trouble tho sammy and sirius head that train

Rosie: "Don't talk to me about imprisonment with me, just work to *make up* for not being there."

Mango: and then sirius DOES

Rosie: Yes.

Mango: and the prankster dad and the salty drama dad become friends

Lili: YES

Rosie: YES

Lili: ALL OF THIS

Rosie: Sirius also gets a good look at angry Prophet Sammy at some point, probably when the Minister ends up sticking his foot in his mouth.

Mango: hoo boy that’s gotta be scary

Poe: Ooo

Rosie: He also sees how well Harry is handling at handling his schizophrenic Uncle's episodes.

Mango: they're all one big happy family :D

Rosie: Yes, flawed families do the best job of filling in each other's gaps.

Mango: i want henry there too but i like henry too much

Rosie: At some point, Harry is dragged back to England because that's where his school is. But Sammy comes with him since they just *can't* leave him unattended. And I mean Sammy. Henry could be there. He and Harry could arrive at the same time.

Mango: :D

Rosie: Henry let's Harry come with him instead of letting the kid wander off on his own.

Mango: yesssss

Rosie: They get separated in the music department which is when Sammy tries to catch Harry, only to find out he was a great uncle and had never known.

Mango: henry finds harry again

Rosie: With Uncle Sam! And Hen is shocked by the state Sammy is in.

Mango: Sammy kind of guards harry from hen, almost not recognizing him

Rosie: And Harry is caught between wanting to tell them help would be coming for them and trying to keep magic a secret. He has to explain that Henry is a friend and not someone he needs to be protected from.

Mango: plot twist: henry's a small time wandmaker and knows about magic

Rosie: (To be honest, I like focusing on the Sammy-Harry relationship better)

Mango: (that’s fine, it’s your au. i just have a weird fixation)

Rosie: (is fine. I can understand it) Second half of Third year is Harry and Sammy continuing to fill in personal holes, fix legal stuff, and get used to their very weird lives. Oh, and Harry is working to catch up with all his missed work in school. He was spending his time in the states filling in the gaps in his general magical knowledge. And he's missing a *lot* of "common" knowledge. He never knew how much he didn't know until people were trying to talk to him about it. (Also, mango,  if you want to talk about how Hen would fit in, I don't mind. But I'll be focusing on Sammy shaking things up in the magical world.)

Mango: (maybe later, i don’t really have any ideas atm)

Rosie: I think that Harry ends up with a house (or something) in/near Hogsmead, so that Sammy won't be in the Castle as often as he would be if they were actually staying in the castle. Cause, you know, he's a schizophrenic with homicidal/volatile/violent tendencies Or at least somewhere close enough that Harry could hop on the train to get to school. Since there's no way that train *only* goes to Hogwarts and King's Cross.

Mango: no way in hell

Rosie: Harry kind of likes the new schedule, since he now sits in a small breakfast with his small family, then goes to the station to ride to school, has his school day (with lunch there), rides home, and has dinner with his family. Rinse and repeat. He doesn't have to deal with the fame games and student issues 24/7 anymore. And he loves it.

Poe: Aww How is his relationship with his classmates?

Rosie: I think the place they're all staying in is an old Potter family house, that was in a town that had a Hogwarts Express station. But it didn't see a lot of traffic since so few magicals lived near there. It was getting used again since Harry had sent a request for them to stop there for him to get too and from School. This is also re-implanting the idea of using the express for more than just getting to and from school during the holidays.  More students are taking weekend trips on the train to find out where else it goes. People organize train trips to plot out the routes the train travels (they had never thought about it before) Other parents meet ink man Sammy, and while weirded out by his appearance, they approve of his ideas about the school and caring for a magical kid. And dealing with magic in general.

Mango: imagine sammy becoming more famous than lockhart sAMMY WRITING A PARENTING BOOK FOR MAGICALS

Rosie: Sammy, though salty, is actually pretty likable and has lots of good ideas that magical parents like and muggle parents agree with. Yes. Henry is the co-author.

Mango: yesss i think sammy would hate snape tbh

Rosie: Sammy; "They need proper music and arts programs, how do you expect children to learn about those things if you don't teach them?" MugParent; "Exactly! How can they learn about what interests them if you don't expose them to it?" Oh heck yeah. Sammy may be salty, but Snape is just plain *cruel* to his students.

Mango: sammy goes full prophet on his ass

Rosie: Snape would do better dealing with older students who *honestly interested* in the subject than kids who are only there because it was required.

Mango: oh definitely

Rosie: Harry has to jump on his Uncle to keep the Prophet from stabbing Snape with an ingredient knife.

Mango: o o f

Rosie: After Snape was taking pot shots at Harry and Neville.

Mango: Understandable

Rosie: It was a protective rage. From that point on everyone works to keep Sammy and Snape separated.  Later on, Sammy makes the statement about Snape not being fit for teaching younger students when Harry tells him more about the man. And he makes it to someone on the Board of Governors.

Mango: oh damn.

Rosie: They agree with him.

Mango: that’s impressive

Rosie: He didn't know the person he was part of the Board. He was just making conversation with someone during a parent weekend.

Mango: ah now i’m just imagining him rant to like 20 different people at different times about snape

Rosie: Of course! He's too salty to keep to himself.

Mango: he’s also ranting about how hogwarts needs an arts and music course

Rosie: Yes. Harry's friends are unsure of ink Uncle.

Mango: sammy is good at ranting

Rosie: Hermione is horrified that Harry would skip out on half a school year to find a relative he'd never met, but Sammy talking about improving the school is lifting her opinion. Ron is amazed by the adventure Harry went on without meaning to, but Sammy scares him a bit.

Poe: This is so beautiful

Mango: ikr

Rosie: I wonder how Mr. Weasley would react to Sammy? Mrs. Weasley would probably not be happy about Harry living with him. She wouldn't think he was a good guardian because of his mental health issues.

Mango: coughablistcough

Rosie: I was working from the idea that she didn't think Sammy made a good guardian because Harry kept having to care for *him* instead of the other way around. Parents were supposed to be caring for their kids, not the other way around.  And, you know, she's stifling and kind-of controlling for anyone she thinks of as one of "Her" kids. (I think the reason her oldest sons all picked up jobs that took them away from home was so they could escape her coddling.) But Harry is more capable than she's giving him credit for, and even when being crazy it's clear he cares about Harry.  And Sammy doesn't treat Harry like he isn't able to tie his own shoes without help. Also, should there be actual toons in this AU? Or should they all be people that were used/altered by Joey?

Mango: i want to say actual toons

Rosie: It's a bit of a coin toss for me. Hence why I'm asking. Actual toons would be interesting and leaves room for recreating an alternate/new studio, but then I'd have to take time to explain how they could exist. With the people as toons, I can use stuff about Transfiguration how it was possible.

Mango: i vote option 2 then

Rosie: But the possibilities for both are fun too. *I need more than one person voting on this!*

Poe: I go with transfigured people because it functions better in the story and considering the magical world's problems with recognizing anything but wizards and witches as capable beings with rights unless you want to deal with that

Rosie: Okay, thank you. That is good reasoning. They will be transfigured people, and all receiving medical help thanks to Harry and Henry. Now I need to figure who's who in this. "Monster" Characters are: 'Bendy', The Prophet, Boris, Alice, Charley, Barley, Edgar, and the Projectionist.  Which Alice theory should I use? Alice = Susie, Alice = Allison, or Alice = Susie Mixed with Allison? And which characters should be the Butchers? (Boris is gonna be Wally, I think. Though it might be fun to use Shawn!Boris...) Bah, I’ll focus more on that later.  Harry asks to shuffle around his electives. Because now he's more interested in Curse Breaking and Healing magic than just getting easy grades.  Divination is dropped for Arithmancy, Care is kept (because Hagrid is the teacher and he wants to support him) and he adds Ancient Runes as a subject. Henry shares that the best way to show how well you understand something is to try and explain it to someone else. So when Harry gets home he explains what he's learned to Sammy (if he's okay), or Boris. (Harry also got tutors from the Goblins while he was in the states, so he's not that far behind in Testing levels.) (The Goblins don't mention that it's the *international* testing levels.) (Harry is confused when he finds he's *ahead* of his classmates when he gets back to Hogwarts) (Sammy is even more offended by the school standards then)

Poe: Aww Cute thiings

Rosie: Should the people from the studio be able to see the Thestrals, or no? Also, since Joey is 'Bendy', should he be salvageable? Or is he gonna be 6ft under?  You know, the more I think about it, the worse I realize the Hogwarts curriculum was. There were no math classes, no language classes, no writing classes, no art classes. Most parents would be frothing at the mouth over how unprepared those kids would be once they got out into the world. *I see so much Sammy Rage in the future of this AU.*

Mango: ***It shall be glorious**

Rosie: ***And we haven't even gotten to the chaos of fourth year yet.** ***Sammy is gonna hecking KILL the Minister if he gets his hands on him.**

Mango: HOO BOY

Rosie: Well, can you blame him?  Fudge has shot himself in the foot more times than I dare to count.

Teir: If I can voice my opinion, I think Joey should be salvaged :P. I don't really have a justification, just that he's an interesting character to have around

Poe: I think having him discover functional magic could be interesting,

Rosie: That could work.

Trash Ma: Mom says actual toons

Rosie: So that's 2 for People changed into Toons, and 1 for Actual Toons.

[pessimisticshape]

✨Vosian Factions - A quick Overview

S.E.E.E.D

✴🔷️🌟⚪🔺️

Like the rest of cybertron, Vos has its own castes, but they have a different connotation. Each are optional and it's completely fine to switch castes as long as one goes through the proper channels.

Their are six main factions, corresponding to the six cardinal directions:

Centre/Up (c)Gold🌟- The Empyrean/ruling

North(n)Black✴- The Sagacious / religious

South(s)Red🔺️- The Dauntless/military

East(e)Blue🔷️- The Elysian / Artisan

West(w)White⚪- The Erudite/ Intellectual

Center/down(d)grey 🔲- subterfuge/ the outcasts 

There is a sixth faction but it is not spoken of in polite company.

🌟The Empyrean ruling class- these are the ruling elite, the best of the best. Each caste sends a worthy representative(s) to sit on the Heavenly council. They act as the legislative and judicial branches of the Vosian Government. They are elected by their peers within their respective castes. Any law to be pasts must be voted for by the majority within each indvidual caste.

✴The Sagacious/ religious- the pious few. They are the spiritual center of vosian society. They act as priests and nuns overseeing births, deaths, spiritual healing, and mental and emotional health along with being civil servants. They keep Vos clean and it's people happy. While most would find this tedious and unfulfilling, these mechs are completely at peace with their duty. They are highly, and begrudgingly, respected in Vos.

🔺️The Dauntless/ military- this faction has the largest seeker population. They are the First line of defence in the safety of Vos and her people. When not engaged in armed conflicts they act as Vos' militarized police force and Prefects within the individual districts. They are expected to be well versed in leadership and political matters but also be able to manage a 'civilian' populace.

🔷️The Elysian / Artisan district- all seekers strive to look beautiful but these seekers take it to a whole other level. They aspire to be beauty in carnate. They like to consider themselves living works of art. There are numerous artisan guilds that specialize in different areas of art and art forms from graphic design to architecture. The vosians of the artisan faction work together to make Vos into the Crown Jewel of Cybertron. The Crystal City? I don't know her...

⚪The Erudite/ intellectual- this is where the brightest seekers go to expand their CPUs. They are quick witted and clever and love giving impromptu lectures, much to everyones chagrin. Erudite seekers were the first castes allowed to travel to other city-state when vos opened its borders. They were quick to take note of the other city-states technological advancements, legally and illegally.

🔆The Sky emperor/Emperess is a spiritual and political position. They are to embody everything Vos stands for; an efficient war machine, a living work of art, the vision of wisdom and enlightenment, and learned in all ways of the universe, and subtle enough to never to be overwhelming. It is a very difficult position to be nominated for as few mechs have the the fortitude to take up the Celestrial mantle. It is common for the Heavenly throne to go empty for some time before a new ruler is chosen as the process to become a sky monarch is a long one. Once the throne is filled a new Dynasty will begin.

The reason there are Four factions and not just one big military group is because even though Seekers, as a whole, are technically war frames, as individuals that might not be the case. Some might want to be writers and artist, others might want to be engineers and scientists, and a few might want to get in touch with their spirituality, you never know. The military factions is one of the larger groups but it is full of Seekers that want to be there.

Every faction is considered equally and important to the flourishing of Vos. Does this stop them from placing more importance on the own faction? No.