#tma fandom has been so much better in that respect

[morning-softness]

Nine people you'd like to get to know better

Thanks @magnetarmadda for the tag!

Three ships

Jon/Martin, Jon/Gerry, and Jon/Tim from The Magnus Archives

First ship

Depends on how you define it, I guess. The first canon couple I appreciated in media would probably be Prince Valiant and Aleta from the Prince Valiant comics by Hal Foster. (Talk about a power couple. They’re both just so talented and intelligent individually and complement each other so well when they work together.)

The first non-canon couple I sought out fic of was Greg Lestrade and Mycroft Holmes from BBC Sherlock. (Yeah, I know, I was a BBC Sherlock fan. Anyway, I will forever be in awe of the person who has been writing Greg/Mycroft fic for 11 years and is still going, and who has written almost 200 fics, several of which are over 300,000 words long. I would love to have that level of dedication and prolific output as a writer.)

I think Jon/Tim is the first ship I wrote for (although I quickly followed that with two Jon/Martin fics and then a Martin/Tim fic). I’m arospec, so my interest in shipping comes mostly from exploring different character dynamics, and I enjoy shipping characters with different people to see how that changes the way they interact with each other.

Before I got into TMA fandom, I wrote mostly original fiction and the few fanfics I had written were gen fics.

Last song

I Never Wear White by Suzanne Vega

Currently reading

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites by Joy Demorra

Last film

Everything Everywhere All At Once. I love that film so much.

Currently Craving

Chocolate-covered cherries. I’ve been thinking a lot about vampires lately, and for some reason I always imagined that to a vampire blood would taste rich and sweet like cherries and chocolate.

My nine tags are:

@probably-ghostly , @midseasoneyeball , @stavroginova , @selfmadecannibal , @journalofimprobablethings , @phynoma , @milkteamoon , @three-magpies-in-a-trenchcoat , @rookfeatherrambles

If any of you would like to participate.

[tired-beholding-bitch]

hello tma fandom, as I was saying I made myself sad (again) by getting feelings about desolation!Tim (again), would you like to hear some Thoughts about that ✨

... what a question of course you do, you're all my unwilling prisoners, listening to me monologue like I’m a villain pacing in her evil lair

now, picture this.

s3!Tim, but he survives the Unknowing and is then thrust into a position in which he has, somehow, even less to lose than he felt he had before it. he's still trapped, Sasha is still gone, Jon is functionally dead and can't exactly be a convenient catch-all scapegoat, and now the Circus is gone as well, which takes away from him even the questionable satisfaction of vengeance. he wakes up in a hospital bed, and he knows he should have never survived the explosion. and he's. still. angry.

(and let me stop you there no, even if at first it might seem like it fits, I don't think it'd be the Slaughter to get him. mostly because

1) by that point he would have been touched by fire already and

2) I feel like Tim's anger was always more focused on the complete annihilation of the object of it. unlike Melanie's (and unlike the Slaughter in general), which was a generalised, all-consuming hatred towards anything and anyone, Tim's was always focused on something specific. be it the Circus or the Stranger itself, or even Jon at some point, it had a defining limit and its sole purpose was to destroy it - by physical means or by severing relationships. literally and not-literally burning bridges.)

part of me likes to think that if he had survived, maybe, in a better world, Jon's coma/death would have been a catalyst for him to let go of the anger somehow. realise and admit to himself he had been an unwilling victim as much as all of them, go to therapy and find some not-quite-as-self-destructive coping mechanisms, kind of like Melanie eventually did. this, however, is not that better universe.

and honestly, for the situation he was in by the time the Unknowing rolled around I don't think it could have worked anyways. his anger, at that point, was the only thing keeping him together - even if he had survived, without being able to distance himself from all the rest, and above all (in this hypothetical) after realising he had changed into something other than human, he would have not been able to let go of it without letting go of himself entirely and utterly, completely breaking down.

now, onto season 4.

with the Circus gone, all the energy he had been pouring into getting revenge on them would, most likely, I think, be redirected towards the Institute itself again. for more than one reason.

there’s the usual and obvious, of course - namely, he’s still stuck there and now he also has to deal with the whole “become the thing you hate” thing - but there is also the fact it’s very clearly ensaring Martin more deeply than advisable, which he wouldn’t be thrilled about.

despite that, I doubt Tim would be in any position to keep him from the Lonely. he’d be too caught up in and isolated by his own resentment and anger - it had already been happening, on a smaller scale, but it would be a situation only exasperated by their respective tendencies. he’d fight back against Martin’s open grief, unwilling and/or unable to admit to himself he’s also grieving, and take refuge in the anger instead because it’s a much, much easier emotion to feel.

he would also tend to distance himself further from the others, too - both because I think he might feel some kind of, you know... barrier or separation, being the only one left in the Archives proper from before. also not sure how well it would go down having Melanie there as well.

all of which in turn would play nicely into Peter’s plans.

(for your consideration: in Italian we say “scorch the earth around someone” to mean “burn one’s bridges”, and I wouldn’t have brought it up except the mental image it conjures up every time is so incredibly vivid for me that I can’t help but think there’s a whole other reflection somewhere in here on how closely related/connected the Desolation and the One Alone are to each other but it’s. for another time to elaborate on.)

however. there is much potential for a dynamic in which he and Jon are somehow learning what it means to be... monstruous, along each other.

in canon we have, from MAG132 onwards at least, the parallel with Daisy and how they are both trying to fight their patron, finding ways to hold on to their humanity against the Hunt and the Eye calling to them.

even so, Jon is left alone figuring out what it actually means being an avatar and coming to terms with it before that. from when he wakes up, he is unmoored and terrified by what is happening to him - the hunger, the fear of losing yourself or of having lost yourself already to the thing now pulling you in - with no real comparison to base himself on.

in this scenario, Tim would be the only one almost as far along as he is - I’d wager he had already been marked by the Desolation for a while, and the deal would have been sealed after the explosion of the Wax Museum itself. which means they could stand to do some self-recognition through the other as well - namely because he ought to have made the same choice Jon ends up doing when he wakes up, at some point, and having to live with the consequences of that.

which in turn might make it... not easier, exactly, but it could give him some perspective on the whole thing. the Desolation is not the Slaughter - the anger is not such to override everything else so completely, and while he’d still be furious, of course, maybe it wouldn’t exactly be, not completely, at Jon anymore. it would feel too much like hypocrisy, when they both made the same choice and they are both experiencing, now, the same things.

is it wishful thinking? perhaps. but I love the idea of Tim going to find him after the Live Statement Incident, terrified because soon, most likely, burning little trinkets of some emotional value isn’t going to cut it anymore and terrified, even more, by the lack of horror the idea of ruining someone’s life in order to feed inspires.

by the delight it incenses in him, that spark of something bright and dangerous giving him some clarity for the first time in months, burning, and by how good it feels to let it.

I imagine it’d be a difficult conversation to have. he’d be scared, but admitting it to Jon would be... hard. too much like showing vulnerability. and yet, he’d be the only one to really understand what it means - he’d see how the conversation with the others went down, and know how hard it is to resist the pull of it, and it’d feel like something too close to be ignored.

it would take time, and it would never be the same as it was before, but I think he might, begrudgingly, manage to let go of at least some of his resentment towards him. all the while being really aggressive about it, in an abrasive, difficult way, but nonetheless being kind of another support peg, in the way Daisy was. but. louder.

ALSO.

the Desolation is, in some way, antagonistic to the Web.

which means it would give me immense personal satisfaction if, as the whole MAG158-MAG159 shitshow went on, Tim’s role was just to send up in flames the whole damned Institute from the foundations. and he would have managed that’s why we couldn’t have it.

they were evacuating it already. and. most of all.

he wouldn’t need the fucking lighter.

that fucking lighter jesus christ.

finally. and yes I’m just going to end it here because this is already more than enough only-kind-of-coherent rambling for one evening.

please consider.

he’d literally be the hot one.

[radiosandrecordings]

There’s the person in me who loved psychology before I dropped out of that class and the one who currently studies moving image who really wants to run some kind of study on how fandom interprets things.

I’m gona take The Magnus Archives as a point of study for this. Say we have four test group:

Group 1 has watched every episode of TMA as it came out, episode one to two hundred as it airs, the full four year+ timeline. They have never interacted with the fandom and do not know anyone in real life who has listened to it.

Group 2 has also listened in real time, but interacts with fandom and talks about it regularly, consuming fan content like art and fics

Group 3 did what so many did and have binged all four seasons available to them before catching up and listening to season five in real time. They do not engage with fandom.

Group 4 does the same as group 3, but engages with fandom in the same way as group 2.

Readmore in case you don’t want to read 1000 words of me talking about media. 

I really want to see how this shifts their interpretations of canon. My theory being, group 1 would probably have the clearest view of canon by itself, while group 4 would have the most warped. I’m not saying any of these have better interpretations the source, just that group one would view it more clearly as it was presented in its original format

The thing that prompted this was the treatment of the character of Martin Blackwood specifically. He’s one of if not the most popular character, and is often simplified in fan spaces as the soft, caretaking love interest, or in some interpretations popular in fandom during the airing of the fourth season, the ‘sassy gay’. I’d really want to test how much of that interpretation comes from canon itself, or how people warp canon to fit how they want to view the text. 

I think it’s kind of similar of english class. Your teacher hands you a copy of Mice and Men and you read the book. As you go through, you discuss only what is in the text. You read and re-read the book until you have a good enough view of it that you can recall facts from memory and write an essay on it. What you don’t do, is read half the book, spend two months talking with your friends about it and reading and writing fanfiction about Lenny, George and Curly living on their ranch, just to be horrified and call it ‘OOC’ when somebody dies. 

Back to the study of TMA, Martin specifically is a character who has grown and developed a lot over the four and a bit seasons the show has been running. At a certain point halfway through the series, it becomes clear that he has a romantic interest in the protagonist, and this is later reciprocated. I started listening to the show during it’s season break, with S3 being finished and S4 about to release. At the time it was implied that Martin had feelings, but it was unclear if this would be further expanded upon in canon. I want to know how far fan opinion of him differs from before and after this event, and further when his feelings are returned and the relationship becomes canon. Did the establishment of him as a romantic lead create a softer view of him in the listeners mind?

This is prompted by the fact that, after the relationship became official, his actions have been under much more of a microscope from fans than previously. Things that would be brushed off before, especially if said to another side character, are now scrutinised when he says them to his partner. Would this view be shared by someone who listened to the show in isolation, or is it purely a construct of a fan base who are more used to their own fan comics and fic of him where he’s the soft, doting boyfriend who would never offend his partner? 

Because he has said things previously that are similar to how he is acting now, as episodes are released. He has been impulsive and inconsiderate with his words and missed cues in conversations, such as impulsively trying to touch some plastic explosives, or not getting a piece of self deprecating sarcasm and pointing out that the protagonist had just referred to himself as an idiot. This is where I would want to examine group 4 specifically. As people often listen to the whole four years of backlog in as short as a week, they often miss details such as this. They power through the source text, and then spend a longer amount of time immersed in fan interpretations, and my theory being that this long exposure overrides their memory of what his actions are in canon, and instead give a fan’s mental picture of him more of a fan created personality. They are more likely to remember something when it’s included in ten different fanfictions they read, all bouncing off each other, than an episode they listened sandwiched between two other episodes. 

Fan headcanons are also a slippery slope, because often you can end up with things being perceived as canon which have little or no basis. This is usually all in good fun, but chasing rabbit hole after rabbit hole from au to headcanon to interpretation can often create something entirely indistinguishable from the source (Hell, remember the Onceler thing?). Plus, the creation of one interpretation of a character that inspires another will spread if it gains enough popularity, possibly even seeping down into the bare bones of the fan base until it’s somehow everywhere. An example of this is the almost always used design for the protagonist as a south asian man with long, dark hair, glasses and a largely green colour scheme. Someone with no fandom knowledge like groups 1 or 3 would have no idea this popular design for the man exists, but it is likely whenever listening to the show, groups 2 and 4 would picture a variant on this base design. 

An added aspect of groups 1 & 2 that 3 & 4 don’t have is the fact that they get time to sit and theorise between episodes, whether alone or with a group respectively. When listening to a backlog like 3 & 4 you don’t need to sit and go ‘I wonder why he said that?’ because you can move on to the next episode and see why. 

Basically, TL;DR: It’s here’s my hypothetical proposition for a psychology/anthropology study on how people’s perspectives on a media are shaped by the nature of how they consume it, focusing on the timeframe in which they consume it and their exposure to outside influence. 

[thevoidcannotbefilled]

Hey, if we're talking about Jon's asexuality, can we not make it about a black and white "explicit fic involving Jon bad"

While this isn't true to all of them, a lot of the explicit fic, especially when it involves Martin, have a discussion about Jon's asexuality. As a result, a lot of the emotional moments and the sex itself is shaped around and is changed because of it.

And oh, a lot of explicit fics are in fact written by ace authors exploring their own sexuality and kinks because asexuality is a spectrum!

(This is not to say that just because an author is ace, doesn't mean they can't be critical of their own writing. Fics that glorify rape/incest in particular can still be written by an ace author and shouldnt be shielded just because they are).

For those unaware, there are many types of aces. Sex-repulsed, those are not favorable to sex at all and outright dislike it. Sex-indifferent, which are indifferent to sex in a relationship. Sex-neutral where they’re neutral to the idea of sex itself. Sex-favorable where the idea of sex in a relationship is good even if it's not to their own person. Sex-positive where they’re actively seeking sex and sexual situations in a relationship. There are other variations that fall under the ace umbrella like demisexuality and gray-ace to name a few, but this is the main gist. 

(Note, this has been edited. To include sex-indifferent and sex-favorable aces). 

I've read fics for many types for Jon. I adore reading fics of Jon talking with Martin about his boundaries. I really like a Jon that helps Martin through sex but feels more than satisfied with the intimacy of being close to Martin in his afterglow. And the sex-positive fics are rarer but they're usually really good at exploring and talking about his aceness and how it affects his sexuality.

But Lunes, you may say, isn't the line "Jon just.... doesnt." Doesnt that imply that he's sex-repulsed or at the very least, definitely never sex-positive?

There's been many posts arguing the semantics of this statement. That for many sex-indifferent and sex-neutral aces also identify with this statement or that in the specific context, they were talking about casual hook-ups. I could go on.

But tbh? I don't personally care.

Listen. There are very few ace characters. Further, there is very few ace protags. There are 703 AO3 works for the "Canon Asexual Character" tag and 482 of them are for TMA. The second highest is at 34 for Rusty Quill Gaming.

There are so few ace characters. Everyone is looking for representation and a lot of ace folks are writing different fics that have their own version of aceness. And yes, this sometimes means explicit fics because sometimes exploring aceness means exploring sexual situations since asexuality inherently changes how sex is viewed and performed. Let people explore their asexuality through a popular character!!! Do I personally think Jon is sex-positive, probably not! But hey, I'm sex-neutral and I don't know what being an sex-positive ace means.

But guess what? All aces also have almost equal amount of rep. And by that, next to none. We're all scrambling for the same rep and seeing ourselves in the same character. In the far future, there may be more ace characters we can all project our particular flavor of ace onto, but atm there isn't.

There is nuance here that I'd like there to be in the conversation in regards to writing Jon in explicit fics. And I keep seeing posts that imply that just the act of writing Jon in sexual settings or having sex is bad (I remember someone pointing out the number of explicit fics with Martin was a lot.... which tbh isn't even true. There are 3366 works for Jonmartin, 1363 for T, 1131 G, and in third place with only 345, E with 310 are M and 217 not rated. Also in general of the 5562 fics involving Jon, only 667 are E rated. In comparison to most fandoms, where the E tag would be the first or second highest tag, that isn't that much).

(This is not to say some ships don't have more sexual content than others. In particular, I find explicit fics with Elias and Tim rarely if ever explore Jon's aceness. And if they do, there tends to be... let's say manipulative elements at best from Elias. And explicit fics with Tim tend to have a lot of "office slut" factors from both of them. Which really shows the biphobia from the fandom).

I make this post not because the fandom's portrayal Jon's asexuality has been perfect or that all explicit fics have treated his aceness with respect. Far from it. But not all explicit fics are the same, and I dislike that many wonderful explicit fics that explore Jon's asexuality in an ace way have been meshed in with fics that just treat him as straight up gay (erasing both his bisexuality and his asexuality in the process).

I make an edit here as well. Jon is ace and you can’t forget that. It changes things and if you don’t keep that in mind when writing relationships with him, then you’re erasing his asexuality. This isn’t just in explicit fics. I’ve seen many T-rated fics that mention previous casual hook-ups like they’re a regular thing he used to do, unsaid sexual situations, and Jon finding characters attractive in a way that felt distinctly offputting as an ace person. It’s complicated, and difficult, and even as I write this post in defense of explicit fics, I want to keep this in mind. I don’t make this post to excuse lazy writing of an ace character rather to keep in mind that asexuality is complicated. And in that complication means we all have to work harder to be more understanding of one another but also to work harder to make better fic that is inclusive. 

TLDR: Please be careful when writing Jon's asexuality. He is ace and you should write him as such, BUT do not make an umbrella notion that writing an explicit fic with an ace character is inherently bad. There is nuance that can and should be discussed, especially since many of these explicit fics are being written by ace people. Sexuality is far too complicated for such a blanket statement. I'd rather the discussion lean towards how asexuality is portrayed rather than throwing out explicit fics all together.

-A Tired Ace Looking Through the Tags

[clarionglass]

tagged by @dheiress to post the first line of my last 20 fics (thank you! <3)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 other authors!

aight my lads here we go, there’s going to be a few unpublished wips and other piece of dubious writing in here bc i doubt i have 20 stories but anyway, here we go (this is very long! press j to skip or just get that dash scrollin bc this might take a while :// ) in very rough chronological order going backwards, starting with the published work:

1. so i ran to the river (tma grifters au, unpublished yet but will be soon!): The sunlight feels different on a face fresh out of prison, and it feels even better to Jonathan Sims now that he’s truly home.

2. crowned by an overture bold and beyond (tma pretentious college au, based loosely on the secret history):  It was a cool, rainy day in late March when I first approached the Magnus Institute--one of those days that served as a reminder that the London spring, that fragile creature, was still all too vulnerable to the occasional strike from the claws of winter.

3. we should ride this wave to shore (tma chatfic where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts): Friday, 3:14 P.M. “archives research & statement envestigation” Timothy Stoker renamed the group “drinks drinks drinks” Timothy Stoker changed Sasha James’s nickname to saucy sash Timothy Stoker changed Martin Blackwood’s nickname to martini kart Timothy Stoker changed his nickname to stonked stonked: so how bout it lads saucy sash: oh god.

4. i am the maker of rules (dealing with fools) (tma chatfic, an elias-and-peter-focused accompaniment to wsrtwts): Monday, 7:39 P.M. Elias Bouchard to Peter Lukas Elias Bouchard: Peter, I need to talk to you. Elias Bouchard: I’ve had the most infuriating day at work.

5. An Optimistic Tragedy (good omens orchestra au that i swear to god i’ll finish one day): Three years ago Eve shifted in her chair, her mind clearly on things other than Milhaud and the music in front of her.

6. The Spaces Between the Stars (the Beast of a dw fic that i can’t even begin to describe; a mate and i have been working on this since 2015 and it’s a sprawling mass of writing that encompasses Many google docs--what’s on ao3 atm is a very small percentage of it,,,,): The Doctor clutched the TARDIS railing as if somehow, it could take the pain away.

7. Carol of the Bells (a chrismas chatfic companion to aot! i’ve always been a sucker for a chatfic but oof looking back on this one my formatting style sure has changed): [Friday December 13, 1:31am] Anthony Crowley to Angelface: u up? ;)

8. An Exploration into The Nature of Human Beings, sub. Homo Sapiens: A Research Paper by Milton Jones (british comedy rpf. this is my oldest piece on ao3 and it shows, but there’s a special place in my heart for this dorky lil fic about an alien researcher making a place for himself in british comedy. fun fact! i actually added the final three sentences to this a couple of days ago, and will post it when i do my next fic update): <<I knew you’d be down here, as per usual. Do you never stop working?>>

and now for the stuff that i like but hasn’t yet/will never/one day, if i get my act together, might be posted to ao3... please ask me about these bc i love them, even though i’ll probably never post them :)

9. untitled mitchell spy comedy (a show that @monimolimnion​ and i want to pitch to the bbc in which david mitchell and victoria coren mitchell are married spies who work for MI5 and MI6 respectively, and most of britcom pops up in one place or another. it’s nothing more than a Lot of planning and a few snippets, but i love returning to this doc): [David is sitting at his desk, shaking his head at an open file.] David: They’re taking the piss. That’s what they’re doing, they’re taking the piss.

10. In the Demonic Style (a good omens au of @teashoesandhair’s glorious smooching contest piece, which is the first piece of fiction writing in the reblog chain. i’ve promised a chapter 2 to this, which i’m halfway through, and feel incredibly guilty for not finishing. still, my quarter-year’s resolution is to finish something old whenever i post something new, so maybe it’ll get done soon!): “It’s the end of the world” was not a good statement with which to start one’s morning in any circumstances, but the angel Bryndael was in the middle of cataloguing his newest shipment of tea samples when said statement reached his ears, and he didn’t much appreciate being disturbed.

11. magpie (good omens canon-mostly-compliant fic based around the song magpie by the unthanks/the magpie folk song/nursery rhyme): Wednesday (approximately 11 years before the end of the world) From a bird’s-eye view, St James’s Park was beautiful at this time of year.

12. untitled ficlet for tales of dwrwedd (a present for my writing buddy! the link is to her fic, i just wrote a bit of her two witcherverse ocs being soft as hell): The two women seated by the hearth didn't look old, either of them. But there was something about the pair--in their movements, or their mannerisms--that suggested an age far beyond what their unlined faces would suggest.

13: Tempo d’Attacco (an original bit of Light Crime a la midsomer murders, set in a university music department that is naturally a thinly-veiled copy of my own, hence why it will never ever be posted anywhere. i wrote this for my supervisor at the end of honours (her character is the sleuth) :P ) Dr Marisa Tan didn’t exactly start her morning well, on the day that everything seemed to upend itself.

patterns...... i’m not seeing that many, tbh? idk if i could call this in media res, but there’s certainly a good bit of plot starting without heaps of setup. 

my favourite? hmmmmmm i’d say my favourites would be crowned by an overture bold and beyond, and in the demonic style. i gotta say, going back to revisit a lot of my older writing has been nice! time and distance have been v kind :)

i’m hella bad at tagging things so if you see this and want to share your own writing please go ahead! i’m very shy when it comes to Fandom Interaction (tm) so i don’t feel comfortable launching myself into people’s notes (i loved this tho! i just need other people to make the first move lol), however i will give a specific shoutout to @monimolimnion whose writing i adore and who needs to do this!

[megmahoneyart]

why did you draw michael who is white as looking more remorseful and human on half his face than helen who you depict as a black woman who appears angry with both of her eyes spiraled? even despite michaels vocal insistence that he is wholly an inhuman monster and his cruel actions you draw him looking more innocent and human than a black woman who has not done anything nearly as monstrous as him and held onto her human identity more strongly?

Okay!  So, I use this blog to draw and not to talk, but I’m suuuper long-winded when I write.  And to spare the general public, I’ve put this answer under a read-more.  But it’s a good and valid question!  And I appreciate anon’s concern; I thought the question deserved as good an answer as I could give.  So that answer is below:

That’s a totally valid question!  I didn’t intend to convey “remorseful” so much as, upset, with Michael.  Angry wasn’t necessarily what I was going for with Helen either--so it sounds like my expressions overall aren’t reading super well. Helen was meant to be more, I think enthusiastic, is the word I’m looking for.

The big difference between Helen and Michael isn’t one of them being more innocent or more guilty than the other.  The difference is the amount of conflict.  Helen has repeatedly brought up how much better she is at being The Distortion than Michael ever was.  Michael had a lot of knowledge about the Fears, and The Spiral, in particular, before becoming The Distortion than Helen did.  And, along with that, he brought the baggage of being taught that his job was to fight the fears, and the baggage of being scarred by The Spiral before working for the Institute.  He kind of sucks at being The Distortion because his job was to stop The Distortion from performing The Spiral’s ritual--and that leaves both The Distortion hating Michael for fucking up its purpose, and Michael hating The Distortion because it’s the embodiment of what he hated and feared as a human.  Everything Michael Distortion does is double-minded--because part of him is like “Hey I used to work here, and these guys are technically my co-workers, and I kind of want to hang out with them, but I also hate this place” and part of him is “I want to Fuck Everything Up, and I hate All of these people and would be happy to see them dead.”  

Helen, on the other hand, doesn’t have the baggage of foreknowledge or hatred.  She’s Michael Distortion’s victim, at first.  But the second she has an opening to turn the tables, she jumps on it.  And the reason she had an opening is because Michael and The Distortion were at odds and schisming and in Conflict.  She’s set up in season 4 to be a kind of narrative foil for Jon--as they have both become avatars without really meaning to (like the majority of avatars that have showed up on the show).  In Season 4, Jon is constantly agonizing over what exactly he is now, and futilely circling around the morality of his continued existence.  Helen, in season 4, is beyond this point.  She has already accepted the Way Things Are now, and she’s dealing--constantly telling Jon he needs to deal with it (the reality of being a “monster” too).  By season 5, she’s not just dealing, she’s Thriving.  And in seasons 4 and 5, at any opportunity, she (Helen Distortion) is always down to remind Jon (and co) that she is So Much Better at being what she is (The Distortion) than Michael ever was.  

I think Helen Richardson probably had a stronger character than Michael Shelley did, as humans as well.  Not saying that one was better than the other. But Helen was a successful career-woman.  Michael started at the institute as a scared kid, who was then groomed by Gertrude and psychologically experimented on by Emma.  I could never see Helen Richardson ever being someone Gertrude Robinson could emotionally manipulate, or convince to “sacrifice” herself.

And all of that informs how I characterize these two characters’ personalities when I draw them.  And that doesn’t touch on the race issue.

Unfortunately, TMA doesn’t explicitly describe many characters’ race or ethnicity.  A Lot has been said about the few negative vs positive characters who are explicitly characters of color.  It’s kind of a black-and-grey-morality podcast.  But on the side of the protagonists/positively-portrayed you’ve got Oliver Banks, Adelard Dekker, Basira Hussain, Mikaele Salesa.  On the enemy-aligned side you’ve got Jude Perry, Tom and John Haan, Manuela Dominguez, and Annabelle Cane.  And those on the positive side are pretty flawed (aside from Adelard Dekker who is an anomaly on this show); and those on the negative side usually have at least some alternate-character-interpretations and can be viewed as sympathetic (lookin at you, Annabelle).  A lot of discussion has gone into their characterizations and how that relates to their respective races--and the problems therein (Jude Perry is startlingly devoid of family concerns--when culturally a large part of being a successful businesswoman would usually relate to how it benefits or affects her family; Mikaele Salesa’s setting up an Apocalypse Bunker without the crew he cared for is peak White behavior; bastard cops that are WOC (like Basira) absolutely exist--but should a story about a WOC bastard cop be written by a white guy?; the Haans being avatars for The Flesh is straight-up racist; etc).  

But again, the list of characters that are explicitly characters of color is Short.  And the fandom filled in some gaps.  Almost all of the characters get a variety of designs, and some characters don’t have a Uniform Fanon Race (like Melanie).  But some characters are almost always portrayed as a certain race (Jon is almost always portrayed as Desi or Pakistani, Georgie is almost always portrayed as black, Helen is almost always portrayed as black).  I came into the show late.  By the time I arrived, Desi/Pakistani Jon and black Helen were the only Jon and the only Helen I saw when I showed up.  (The first sketches I did for the show, I did before seeing any fan art, and before hearing any canon descriptors.  As such, Georgie would be unrecognizable to most of the fandom--because I drew her white the first time I drew her; and Martin is Too Small in my first sketches--because they were drawn before I got to episodes that described him as tall and chubby and before I saw the fantart--which gives us the Big Martin we deserve).  So that’s why my Helen is black.  (My Michael is white because he is physically described early in the show--and is one of the confirmed white characters).

That said, I accepted the generally-agreed-upon fan depictions of Helen (and other characters) without a whole lot of critical thought from Me.  I’ve since read a lot of good takes on why Jon is depicted as Desi and why his characterization has resonated with certain Desi listeners.  I haven’t read any dissertation on why Helen is black.  My guess is that, where there were no canon physical descriptions (like with Taz Balance before the graphic novels), the fandom Made representation because they wanted it and because they could.  Maybe there was discourse, back in the day, on why Georgie and Helen are usually depicted as black; but I didn’t see it.  My (completely uninformed) guess is that people liked Georgie.  And people liked Helen.  And if they could make the cool lady with a great cat that is incapable of being afraid black, and if they could make the cool lady who has sharp hands and set up her house in the Institute basement for fun black, why not do it?

If you, anon, do have strong feelings that Helen shouldn’t be black and why, feel free to pass that on to me.  I am Not the authority on Helen’s characterization or her appearance--especially as related to race--as I’m 1) white and 2) just another listener of the show.

If I were to start drawing Helen as white, she’d probably be unrecognizable to people that are looking through the tag for their sharp-handed wife.  And I like Helen.  So without additional information, I’m unlikely to change my depiction of her.  But!  If you (or anybody else) do have additional information, I’m happy to see/hear it, and will take any concerns raised with me into consideration.

[thezolblade]

with all the talk about fandom squicks and triggers and social media content-curation going on, i’m gonna try and get down my tma squicks, to - help organise my thoughts on what i still do & don’t enjoy - help connect with anyone who wants to talk about the things that are common interests without hitting on a squick accidentally (bc i’m feeling like trying to dip my toe in the water of fandom means walking on eggshells in that respect). - behind a read more, avoid the negativity if you like. there’s nothing beyond pg-13 meta though.

tma squicks

- the apocalypse. y’know how people can feel ‘what’s the point?’ about a pyrrhic victory? this isn’t even that. it’s a total defeat. rocks fall everyone dies, or suffers a fate worse than death. all the billions of people in the world, all the children and babies, suffering so thoroughly they don’t even get to function as people anymore, just living ghosts. except a few characters who are still wandering around for now, but we already know from word of god that they’re not going to get a happy ending or accomplish anything. the previous seasons were already horror, but this... feels a lot more pointless and flattens the world they built. i’m curious enough to keep listening, but with less investment i guess.

- ‘fluff’ set in parts of the timeline when the some of characters are hurting people, and other characters are not okay with that, but the ‘fluff’ has them act as if they don’t actually care. (not fix-it fic that actually fixes the problem. not fluff set in au’s where the problem doesn’t apply. not evil characters being ok with being evil together. i’m just talking about stuff that’s specified as canon-compliant, where the characters don’t seem to give a damn, even though they do in canon itself.) e.g. late s4 stuff where rather than commiserating, recuperating and trying to plan out how to deal with their problems, jon and martin are just... happy for jon to keep haunting his current victims so long as he doesn’t add to their number, and have no plans to go back to london to deal with things once it’s safe enough, despite asking basira when that’d be possible in 160. or s4 peter/martin where martin’s ok with peter murdering people, likes him as a person anyway, rather than lying about it.

- s1/2 (or anytime) jon being depicted as someone who doesn’t care about people, rather than as someone who cares deeply for people’s safety even while getting into arguments easily. 

- s1/2 (or anytime) martin being depicted as scared of jon, rather than just frustrated that he can’t impress him or convince him to take better care of himself & get along better with the others.

- the way the tragedy of everything that’s gone wrong supernaturally - the deaths, the apocalypse - feels like the villain getting away with everything because the odds were always stacked overwhelmingly in his favour, not the protagonist seeing the consequences of his tragic flaws. because jon’s made mistakes, and hurt the people around him, but... if he hadn’t made those mistakes, that wouldn’t in and of itself have been enough to avert jonah’s plans. jonah just needed to arrange for avatars to attack jon until he’d been terrorised by everything, while jon was unable to escape. and even if jon had left by blinding himself, jonah would’ve burned through as many archivists as it took. (158 was the only time anyone had a chance of stopping him, and martin only refused bc he didn’t know what was going on and didn’t want to cooperate with evil. that’s... not so much of a flaw that the apocalypse is cathartic as his tragic comeuppance either.)

- jonah, considering all of the above. just. jonah.

- the other pure evil characters most of the time, tbh.

- the uncertainty of not knowing how much of daisy’s past police brutality basira turned a blind eye to, bc the more she knew, the worse her preference for the old daisy & double standard with jon’s hunting.

- jon’s hunting, for that matter. that’s on the list. and the fact that jess is probably in the buried now, forever. (if not there, then somewhere just as awful.)

- interpretations where early-s4 jon completely knew what he was doing, rather than genuinely deceiving himself until he read annabelle’s statement, though a mix of denial, the excuses he’d convinced himself of (which tied into following gertrude’s example to save the world, knowing she’d hurt people too), and the fact he was coerced by an entity in a way that he hadn’t felt before (it was the eye, not the web, and even heavy coercion isn’t the same as being completely forced, but it’s sure not the same as choosing freely either).

- s3 jon/tim where tim doesn’t acknowledge that jon was factually right about some of the things he was afraid of s2, alongside jon acknowledging his own mistakes. otherwise tim’s s2-3 attitude is too much ‘i hate you for being wrong, i hate you for being right, i hate you for being genuinely scared of me, and i hate you for trying to rebuild this bridge now you’re not scared of me anymore’.

- the idea of s1 jon/tim, considering tim was being all false-cheerful and mildly sarcastic with the ‘boss’ nickname while really thinking he shouldn’t have gotten the job. all while jon sincerely valued tim’s opinion as an academic. sure, tim was right to look down on jon’s abilities, but that situation makes me wince. a fluffy ship needs more respect, a dark ship needs less goodwill, a slowburn needs the characters to move past that kind of thing somehow.

...all in what, what that leaves as content that’s not squicky, that i still enjoy:

- Total AU’s, where any ship can be set up in ways that avoid the elements above.

- Pre-apocalypse canon-divergent fic - happy or sad ending for the characters involved, so long as the world doesn’t end for everyone.

- Time travel fix it (in a crackfic way).

- Early-seasons gen/humour/character study canon-compliant fic.

- Cracky humour fic.

[lamiralami]

TMA Retro 4: Page Turner

I was touched to see some tag commentary on yesterday’s post! Honestly, it gave me an emotion - I am traditionally very anxious about engaging online, it speaks to my immense love of TMA that it brought me to Make A Post At Last. It’s very affirming and reassuring to get some response to my lunatic treatises. Y’all are all right. 💜

Anyway, grab some lighter fluid and a sturdy wastepaper basket, time to torch your haunted novel in MAG 4: Page Turner

It’s ironic that this statement is about the Vast when it is one dense motherfucker. so many dangling plot threads are introduced here, each ready to hook you and start reeling. we’ve been into the meta plot since episode one but this episode is the first time the audience is made aware of such.

seriously: Jurgen Leitner and his library, Gerard Keay and Mary Keay, Michael Crew. the figures introduced in this one thirty-minute installment loom large over the rest of the entire run

you could, your first time through, even file this away as a one-off scary story if not for the fact that Jon knows what’s going on (enjoy it while it lasts, my son). He’s heard of Jurgen Leitner. He alludes to an incident with his library in 1994. Deeper than that, he immediately takes the statement at face value and treats the claims within it as authentic, which is a complete 180° on the first three episodes

and this is such a smart story choice? Jon shapes our perspective into this universe and up until now he’s been utterly dismissive of the validity of the stories he’s telling. To go from practically rolling his eyes to scheduling a meeting with his boss about tracking down more haunted books - that tells us that Jon takes this seriously as a threat. And that makes us take it seriously too, makes us take note that strange books are dangerous things in this world. Any offhand mention of books in future statements will be enough to make us sweat

And! It starts winding the narrative tension on a character level. Why and what does Jon know about Jurgen Leitner and his library? Why does he say his name with such venom? And if he’s so sure about the supernatural nature of these books, why is he so loath to believe the other statements?

(and then it takes 80 + episodes to fully answer these initial questions. Jonny enjoys a slow roasted torment)

love that the statement giver presents, as proof of his iron-clad sanity, the fact that he works as a theatre technician. speaking as someone with an unfinished theatre degree: theatre people are feral my good buddy, try again. I mean, we refuse to say the name of one of the most famous plays in the English language because we think a ghost will trip us for the indiscretion. this is not the trump card you think it is.

a quick sidebar for the Red String Brigade: The Trojan Women is an ancient Greek tragedy that involves a baby being thrown off a city wall. The Seagull’s first published English translation was done by Marian Fell, and also a seagull is a bird and birds can fly. Much Ado About Nothing is very good and you should all watch the version from 2011 with David Tennant and Catherine Tate.

it’s interesting that these early episodes seem to take a cue from urban legends in some respects. Nathan Watts gets extremely drunk at a party and then is almost skinned by a monster while having a smoke. Joshua Gillespie is approached while engaging in a whirlwind of debauchery and has to take care of a cursed coffin after accepting money for what he thinks is a drug trafficking gig. Amy Patel regularly spies on her neighbour for her own entertainment and then has to watch him be replaced by a malevolent entity only she can perceive. and now Dominic Swain pushes past his guilty conscience to score a valuable book off an unknowing charity shop and...gets a bit dizzy and haunted by a phantom stink for a few days then gets ‎£5,000, well anyway, the point is he got spooked! spooked after doing something kind of iffy! that is pure urban legend procedure; modern day fairy tales imparting dire  consequences onto societal transgressions. in a horror story this structure offers a false sense of safety - if you’re a good person, the monster won’t come for you. I can’t recall which upcoming statement yanks the rug out from under us with the first completely random victim.

cannot comprehend how this guy didn’t start plugging the book into google translate the second he got home. that probably saved him from being taken by the book but I am still judging him for not even trying it. yeah you’d be sucked into some sort of sky hell but at least you’d know what’s in the book!! could never be me

(yes I am aware in this universe I would have been eaten years ago. I’ve made my peace with that)

grbookworm1818 slays me. I don’t know which is better, the idea of Gertude carefully curating the most sixty-five-year-old-on-goodreads username she could as a cover for her cursed purchase history, or her actual sixty-five-year-old brain just expressing itself naturally because Gertrude is a very busy woman who doesn’t have time to immerse herself in the ins and outs of internet culture, she just wants to buy the demonic tomes she’s selected for destruction and get on with her day thanks.

did Gertrude know what a meme was? which Archivist could convincingly pose as a millennial best, Gertrude Robinson or Jonathan Sims?

The Key of Solomon and its former keeper, Samuel Liddell MacGregor Mathers, are both real historical figures. the book is basically Renaissance-era magical au fanfic of the Bible, and the man was a 19th century British occultist (and likely drinking buddy of Jonah Magnus) who founded a Very Serious Secret Society. this is a picture of him whiiiiiich rather dispels any sense of menace he’s meant to invoke. what kind of cosplaying nonsense

Mary Keay is such a striking figure. “She was very old and painfully thin, but her head was completely clean shaven, and every square inch of skin I could see was tattooed over with closely-written words in a script I didn’t recognise.” a Look, a vision!

I’m guessing that Our Gerard was blasting heavy metal at 2 am to try to drown out his undead mother while waiting for her manifestation to dissipate. I like to imagine him frequenting Reddit advice posts about dealing with toxic family members, poor lad

oh my gosh Mary refers to Gerard as “her Gerard” is that where Jon got “our Gerard” from?? I feel betrayed??

whatever, I’m reclaiming it. Our Gerard is meant with affection now babey! 

the eye portrait is a bit puzzling. the inscription - ‘“Grant us the sight that we may not know. Grant us the scent that we may not catch. Grant us the sound that we may not call.”’ - could almost be read as an invocation against the Eye? But in general Gerry is fairly Eye-aligned, so...shrug emoji

(honestly my main takeaway from the eye portrait is that it’s finely detailed and near photorealistic so we can add “tortured artist” to our list of Gerard Keay traits and is it any wonder that he’s so Fandom Beloved?)

Mary is Not Good at negotiating sales. her main technique involves terrible tea, bringing up repressed childhood trauma, and getting her magic book to drop animal bones onto customer’s shoes. I’m guessing Pinhole Books was in bad shape even before the police investigation and murder charges.

hahaha, the Vast pushes Dominic down the stairs. classic. you gotta grab what opportunities are available

so did Gerard have to follow Dominic back to his flat and wait awkwardly on the doorstep at like 3 in the morning, hoping none of his neighbours would notice and call the cops

the revelation that Mary’s been dead the whole time! this episode may be more intent on world building and plot set-up but damn if it isn’t still a good little ghost story.

kind of rude of Gerry to just burn a book in this guy’s flat without asking and then steal his wastepaper basket.

Jon may not call the statement giver a liar for once, but never fear, he’s still our petty bastard man. accuses Gertrude of filing statements without reading them, has Sasha double-check Martin’s research, grumps about his general misfortune . he’s stressed from the Archives’ disorder and having flashbacks to a certain picture book but by Jove, that won’t stop him making snide comments on what’s supposed to be an official audio transcription!

[thatgirlwhokeepsreading]

I posted 10,557 times in 2021

35 posts created (0%)

10522 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 300.6 posts.

I added 1,046 tags in 2021

#tma - 244 posts

#dnd - 139 posts

#cr - 137 posts

#it friend - 103 posts

#it me - 90 posts

#tazb - 87 posts

#wards - 78 posts

#jesus fandom - 74 posts

#bdg - 48 posts

#pokemon - 46 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#bc people must eventually get like ‘anyone who doesn’t have a lab is faking having a service animal’ (bc they don’t know better) and hassled

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

My grandfather just asked myself and my brother if we thought China was gonna invade Australia and I think we all lost a decade off our lives

6 notes • Posted 2021-01-17 10:15:54 GMT

#4

Me, every time I create another NPC for my campaign: she’s a bitch and I like her so much

6 notes • Posted 2021-09-20 15:43:14 GMT

#3

When you’re trying to develop your DnD world backstory in your head but you keep returning to basically a billion iterations of two interactions: character A and character B are in lesbians, and character X has accidentally adopted character Y because Care For Child Way You Were Not Cared For. And yo if that isn’t a call out post to myself idk what is

7 notes • Posted 2021-08-22 05:47:43 GMT

#2

So some fuckhead I met once because I was head of the social justice club at my school is on the news again huh

(ID under the cut)

[ID: Screenshot of a Word document containing the Jurgen Lietner copypasta, which has been edited to be about Australian politician Peter Dutton.

Text reads:

PETER DUTTON?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING PETER DUTTON GOD DAMN FOOL PRISON BUILDING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING PETER DUTTON

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT PETER DUTTON I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP POLICIES WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SET THEM LOOSE IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE SINCE I WAS THIRTEEN AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHINIEST HEAD GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said peter dutton waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with peter dutton speaking one word in person on voice in parliament not only will i close the tab i will delete my abc app out of spite and have to rewatch the every question time again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive

i dont even know why i hate him so much. he is an extremely shitty white man but i am just mad because i am angy

he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of human rights violations and wanted to commit some himself ill go ham

BETTER have had a book make him kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him

paypal.com/IFuckingHatePeterDutton

political scandals not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his opinion and I lost it

where the fuck is peter dutton if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

crusty old man

ill punch dutton and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final book he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when peter died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true human rights violations

end ID]

9 notes • Posted 2021-04-09 09:21:49 GMT

#1

So I’m White™️ so take this all with a grain of salt but like, with 26th Jan coming up here’s a non-exhaustive list of days that would be better choices for Australia Day

1st Jan- Federation officially began 01/01/1901 so it’s literally our country’s birthday. Also we’d get double public holiday with NYE.

29th March- Day the first Australian General Elections were held. Celebrate democracy and whatnot.

30th March- Apparently General Elections used to take two days to hold. Celebrate democracy and the value of taking your time when doing something important.

8th May- I’m not sure if this was proposed ironically or not, but I guess “May 8” does sound like “mate” if you really swallow your consonants. A bit cringe imho but not as cringe as colonialism and genocide.

25th July- Take over Christmas in July celebrations. Good for all the same reasons Christmas in July is good, but also makes more sense because it’s not like it snows in July either.

19th Aug- Wikipedia tells me that this is the day Deas Thomson moved for a NSW Parliamentary Select Committee on the question of Australian federation. Good if you want to make Australia Day weirdly NSW focused still.

24th Oct- Anniversary of the Tenterfield Oration, which Wikipedia tells me was when a guy made such a moving speech about how the colonies should federate that it only took them twelve more years to do it. Points deducted for the fact that New Zealand was still in the running to be part of Australia at that point, and it makes me sad to even think about us holding them back like that.

31st Oct- My mum hates Halloween for some reason and so she suggests that Australia Day should be moved to the 31st Oct so people will be forced to give up celebrating Halloween. Still a better date choice than 26th Jan.

29 notes • Posted 2021-01-19 11:46:21 GMT

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