#tmi cici

[perfektblau]

tw: TEETH talk

I actually miss the times when i had to lose my baby teeth. it was strangely satisfying and rewarding for me when it came out. felt like a "big kid".

sometimes when you go to the dentist, they give your tooth back in a cute little box with trinkets.

I remember my tooth fell out during class in elementary school. my teacher gave me a cute postcard with a picture of a cartoon teeth and taped my tooth on it, which made me happy 😆

[fairybinie]

i’m 3 days late but new theme 🔥🔥

[marshmalleaux-queen]

ridiculously tmi

No like seriously this is kinda gross stuff but I love complaining to strangers on the internet so yknow. I won't be mad if you unfollow XD

My hair is naturally very oily even with showers and good shampoo so I get acne pretty bad in the places my hair falls/touches, but also further than that bc the oil runs

And

I have

A singular zit

Right on my buttcheek

And I shit you not

it hurts to sit sometimes

[pesantrenpandeglang]

Santriwati Bagian Kepramukaan Pesantren Annur Darunnajah 8 Melatih Pramuka di Pesantren Azzikra Gunung Sindur

“PENDIDIKAN KARAKTER KEPEMIMPINAN YANG SELALU DI AJARKAN”

Gunung Sindur 15/09/18 Santriwati bagian Pramuka Pesantren Annur Darunnajah 8 dan beberapa anggota khususnya melatih pramuka di Pondok Pesantren Azzikra Gunung Sindur, Bogor. Latihan ini sudah berjalan yang ke-empat kalinya terjadwal seminggu sekali pada hari sabtu sore.

Suasana Latihan Pramuka

Latihan pramuka kali ini langsung di bawah bimbingan Mabikori Pramuka Putri Pesantren Darunnajah 8 Kak Izzah Juriyah.Adapun Bagian Pramuka dan anggota khususnya yang juga melatih adalah diantaranya,Mayresa,Rennu Fadillah(Kelas 6 TMI),Wardah Sukma,Zhuha Fathya(Kelas 5 TMI),Cici Andriani dan Syahda(Kelas 4 TMI).

Materi yang dibawakan para pelatih dari Pesantren Annur kali ini adalah Prakter Baris-Berbaris (PBB) dan Latihan Upacara dengan bentuk Angkare.

Suasana Latihan PBB dan Upacara

Suasana Latihan PBB dan Upacara

Santriwati Pesantren Azzikra sangat antusias dalam mengikuti latihan Kepramukaan yang dibimbing oleh kaka-kaka Pramuka Pesantren Annur Darunnajah 8 ini.Harapan kedepannya di pesantren Azzikra bisa mencetak generasi-generasi penerus pelatih layaknya kakak-kakak dari Pesantren Annur Darunnajah 8 cidokom ini.

(Report:Izzah Juriyah,Redaktur:S.Rama Prayogo)

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[moregy-blog]

I had incredible sex for like 5 hours straight last night and I am floating on a cloud rn

[perfektblau]

i think i'm the happiest i've ever been. i feel safe at home

i'm finally living in a decent neighborhood, i feel safe at home, there's always food in the fridge, i have a cat, i'm medicated, trying to finish school and i live with my love. i couldn't ask for more (maybe just mental stability lol) i don't ever want to take this for granted because i was so miserable in my early to mid 20s.

it's not that i don't appreciate what my parents did for me when i was a kid, but i never truly felt safe there. and once i ran away home, i had to work my butt off to save money and get out of that situation. i was really miserable and but at least i felt safer being out there than being with my parents. there were so many people who helped me out of their good hearts, even if there was nothing in them for helping me. i never forgot about them and i hope i can find them again to thank them..

participating in fandoms, daydreaming, and playing videogames got me coping thru that too. i think i would have went raving mad without it. thanks to all those people back then who produced amazing ghoul fucker fanfics LOL i kinda miss the pre-censorship tumblr

once i graduate, i'll get a better job . at least that makes me feel better. i don't ever want to go back to that state and you never knkw, but i'll know what to do once i experience it again. that makes me feel a bit better.

[perfektblau]

tw: gender dysphoria, childhood

I try to avoid thinking about it. I live my life like a cis woman and I'm AFAB anyway. But the truth is "genderqueer" really resonated with me when I finally learned what it meant at around age 19. It's something I've felt for so long and I just didn't have the word for it at that time.

I thought of the possibility of how it might be a "phase" at that time, but I still explored by cutting my hair very short, shopping in men's section, keeping my chest flat. I felt comfortable with it, but I stopped.

I'm a fully grown adult at age 30 and I'm still having distress about it. I don't know what I am really, even at this age. I didnt really let myself explore that because I was never at a safe space for it. I did actually explore what I felt about "femininity" once I left home because I did feel a bit safe to do that..

I'm lucky to live in a city that's open minded, but many people I care about wouldn't be. Only two of my close friends know this and they're part of the lgbtq community.

I was in a lot of distress last night, thinking about all of this.

What if I'm not "queer" enough

What if the things I actually want is what will drive people away from me

What if people will dismiss me as even more mentally ill ( someone already did when I brought it up hah!)

What if this is all just my childhood trauma and that's it

What is it that I want

Do I want to know?

[perfektblau]

Uh. Contemplating whether I should tell my therapist that playing Astarion romance in Baldur's Gate 3 actually helped me 🙃 ugh embarrassing lol

tw: trauma, sa, spoilers

It actually helped me start to feel like my body is my own and let myself feel okay to enjoy sexual activities 🫣...Yeah

[perfektblau]

crying because they hurt me so much. crying because i know they also loved me. crying because I feel guilty for hating them.

[perfektblau]

tw: nasty, tmi terato dream, oviposition

had a dream that some hot alien spider human was fucking me hard in an bandoned building. his ovipositor penetrated my insides and pumped me with his eggs, causing my abdomen to swell with his offspring

what a nasty gross dream. but what's messed up is all of this felt so good 🙃 and I was having a great time

[perfektblau]

I know how bad I am with feeling "comfortable with the uncomfortable". Been told I need to learn how to, so with every uncomfortable feelings I encounter, I try to soak in it. Heck, maybe I'll learn to embrace it, kiss it, LOVE IT.

my therapist said I'm being too much lol and she mentioned how my black and white thinking is coming out again. I gotta tone it down.

[perfektblau]

tw: family problem, alcoholism

I was just on the phone with my mom and she told me how my dad's health is deteriorating. his liver function is crap and he has hepatomegaly for all that years of drinking and the doctor warned him if he keeps up with this he will die. i am NOT surprised.

and I really don't know what to do. I've done so much to help him get better ever since as a child, but he always ran to his liquor. he refuses to get psychiatric help, he never wanted it. he's always attempted to fool me, my mother and himself that he can do it himself

and it's the most fucking frustrated, helpless feeling. how the hell do you help someone who refuses help. i feel so bad for my mother too

i might go back to ACA meetings, i dont know. i cant with this

[perfektblau]

i want to be taken on walks and be called a good gorl

[perfektblau]

I just read some omegaverse manga out of curiosity, since my friend is so into it

uh I think I went ahead and read something too hardcore. That was too much for me.

tw: mpreg, noncon, gross stuff

it was about an elf king getting pregnant by some conquerer and 🤢 he just repeatedly gets r*ped.. they show you the fetus in an xray vision while he rails him.. then later on, you see him give birth and.. I

I can't with that.. I.. I need to get some eye bleach.

I think I should take a break from the internet and smell some flowers, read a nice book, maybe go douse myself in holy water, look at the sky and think about the decisions I make in life I'm done.

[perfektblau]

tw:tmi sexual stuff

my skin actually burns because of how sexually aroused I am. even after all that deed. maybe it's an episode and I'm a bit concerned lol

[perfektblau]

me coping with life through daydreaming of being in a post-apocalypic world where none of the shit matters but surviving itself is good enough