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#to actually WANT to be put in the arena
d12victor · 2 years
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katniss doesn't by any means hate (strong word) any of the other tributes, she just has a strong preference for those from the poorer districts, hence disliking the career tributes..
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jackoino · 6 months
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been really into dead games lately
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mimeo-tan · 8 months
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Rhodesius, exile
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To be clear: Rhodesius is not! my moc or my character. The Rhodesius moc belongs to Onukee, while the character belongs to Bigmungandr
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tenderflint · 4 months
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getting into hardcore/punk now that i'm actually ready and receptive to the genre as opposed to when i was getting into mcr/pop-punk and felt compelled to explore punk because of all the gatekeepers complaining about how fall out boy isn't real punk (which, sure, it's not) but at which point i wasn't able to appreciate punk for what it was because i was really just into pop-punk. anyway it's so much more fun now. i still love pop-punk and late emo but now that i have a historical context as well as a broadened musical palate to enjoy screams and growls and thrashy guitars and actually enjoy it instead of tolerating it! incredible. all this to say i love when pleasure comes naturally rather than being forced because of some idea of compulsion
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quibbs126 · 2 years
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I hate being sunburnt
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I have officially beaten FE Engage! Overall it’s a great game. I really enjoyed the gameplay this time, though a few chapters and paralogues were pretty frustrating. This was definitely the hardest FE game I’ve played (although ironically I found the final battle to be fairly easy), and mostly that’s a good thing. The extra challenge made it more satisfying when I came up with winning strategies. The story and characters were pretty good too! I definitely think this game has gotten unwarranted hate. Anyway, since I previously made a tier list showing my perception of the characters as units, here are some actual stats from the ending showing how right (or wrong) I was:
There was a 3-way tie for who made MVP the most between Alear, Yunaka, and somewhat to my surprise, Alcryst. They each were MVP 4 times. Clanne, Celine, and Alfred were right behind them, each being MVP 3 times.
Alear was unsurprisingly the fighter with the most battles (199) and wins (123). The benefits of being locked into EVERY story & paralogue chapter, I suppose. Her most used Emblem was Sigurd.
I talked at length about how good my Alfred was in the other post, and his stats back it up. He had the 2nd most battles (180) and tied for 3rd on wins (92). Most used emblem was Ike.
Similarly, Yunaka, who I thought might have the most battles and/or kills, had 166 battles and 92 wins. She was great, just not able to outdo Alear’s protag privilege or Alfred seeing a lot of action through Ike. She used Lyn most.
Alcryst had 150 battles and a whopping 107 wins. The boy killed. A lot. His most used emblem was Leif since I appreciated being able to switch weapons and fight back if attacked up close as well as potential Luna procs on Quadruple Hit.
I seriously undervalued how much use I got out of Clanne. He was 5th for both battles (127) and wins (89). Even though he’d fallen off by the end due to subpar magic attack, he did pretty well in early and mid game. His most used emblem was Micaiah.
As for other notable fighters, Citrinne, Diamant, Fogado, Rosado, and Kagetsu each had 100+ battles and 60+ kills. Everyone else either only achieved one of those feats, or neither. So these 5 finish out the “top ten” for my units, I guess.
I maintain that Hortensia is an MVP in her own right as a healer, but tragically the game doesn’t track that so her stats are poor since she didn’t fight much. Seadall was also essential to my team.
Finally one last fun statistic - the EMBLEM that achieved MVP the most was Sigurd. He contributed to 7 wins. I guess it’s not surprising considering he was the “most used” Emblem for 3 of my heavy hitters - Alear, Kagetsu, and Rosado.
#fire emblem#fire emblem engage#fe17#i'm honestly not surprised sigurd is the big winner among the emblems in terms of MVP and who was used most#(technically a couple other emblems had 3 characters but only sigurd had 3 PROMINENT fighters for me)#i love to stick him on someone who can either dodge or tank a few hits and nyoom them into enemy territory#so whoever wears sigurd often ends up handling a good chunk of the map by themselves#my biggest complaint remains that there are no paired endings. i want to play matchmaker. :/#but aside from that i actually quite enjoyed the characters and story. and not all supports are great but some are AMAZING#easily on par with or even better than the best that previous entries had to offer#anyway i'll probably start a 2nd playthrough immediately. i'm antsy to put everything i've learned to use#reclass anna and clanne. save-scum the arena. take advantage of the new support options from the beginning#i'll probably play on hard again but classic this time since i have had a chance to try everyone and will know what's coming#hopefully i'll get at least a few different units in the endgame.#it's really hard to justify using lapis when kagetsu is SO GOOD (and also i love him). & etie basically NEEDS to reclass to stand a chance#but maybe (hopefully) the next run will be better for amber and framme and anna. and i'll give bunet a chance this time#you know a game is good when you beat it and IMMEDIATELY are thinking about and excited for the next run
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vegancas · 7 months
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update on my food club betting spreadsheet: despite not winning any money on this first round while using it i'm relatively happy with the predictions i made. it does need a little tweaking in terms of the combinations of bets i'll make, i'm planning to add in a small amount of randomness into my predictions where two of the pirates have fairly equal chances of winning, but other than that i think it'll do a good job as is
sucks that my account is so new that i can't bet much nps yet, so i'm doing all my bets on all 5 arenas to maximise my odds, which obviously means that if i don't get the exact right combination of winners i won't win anything, but on the last round i was only wrong by 1 arena, or well, i had bets with all the right winners just not in the right combination so some of the combos i did have were only wrong on 1. so i don't feel like i'm far off from making pretty accurate predictions
my biggest hurdle at this point is writing all the formulas in google sheets, i do not know enough about how to write this stuff to make it more manageable!! putting a screenshot below of just how elaborate what i've done SO FAR is, this is without me adding in the randomness!! at least i've written the formula to add the randomness but i am too tired rn to figure out how to get it in here lol
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leenaur143 · 8 months
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no way did i just find the location of the ALLEGED skz billboard in shoreditch but AHHHH google maps last took a photo of that area more than a year ago
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communistkenobi · 2 months
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if we want to talk about where trans men tend to be overrepresented in transphobic discourse, it’s in relation to scaremongering media profiles of detransitioners, framing trans men as misunderstood women with internalised misogyny who have mutilated our bodies and are now left ‘ruined’ because of HRT and surgery. This is used to argue for policies that restrict access to trans healthcare, especially for minors (notice how often we are talked about as “young girls”!) putting a ‘sympathetic’ face to transgender hysteria by talking about the “victims” of transgenderism. But this is still an incomplete picture without accounting for transmisogyny, as trans women are the “perpetrators” of this victimisation, convincing “confused young women” to cut off their breasts and take testosterone. It centres around the ‘corruption’ of femininity, as trans men forsake our ‘natural’ femaleness and trans women as ‘appropriating’ it.
This is why Matt Walsh, JKR, and other prominent transphobic figures asks the question “what is a woman?” and not “what is a man?”, it’s why Posie Parker advocates for armed cis men to go into women’s bathrooms to “protect women from men invading women’s spaces,” its why terfs are so fixated on trans women as ur-misogynists, it’s why right wing politicians like Pierre Poilievre & the Conservative Party of Canada focus their ire on blocking trans women from public spaces.
Saying this is not a denial of trans men as victims of transphobia (hello! I am a frequent one!) and its endlessly frustrating that these conversations get derailed into “well what about MY experience where XYZ horrible thing happened to me” as if the conversation about transphobia should only ever remain in the realm of interpersonal violence and victimisation. It’s very handy to stay in that arena because the only rebuttal to that tactic is to deny this random person’s experiences or “ignore their lived reality.” But I’m not talking about experience! Transphobia is a structural force in the world which means we don’t actually need to rely on individual accounts of violence to understand it. taking stock of that structure is only a “threat” to “trans masc voices” if you think structural discussions of oppression are de facto “misandrist”
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cherienymphe · 10 months
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A Caged Bird (Coriolanus Snow x Reader)
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WARNINGS: NON-CON, blackmail, stalking, abuse of power, hints of dacryphilia, slightly spoiler-esque
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summary: Birds are best kept in a cage where one can see them...and where you know where they are at all times.
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You thought that it was over when you won.
That’s what winning The Hunger Games meant, right? The psychological torture, the grueling conditions, and the fear that wouldn’t leave you until you finally left the arena was supposed to be over. You made it out through blood, sweat, and tears, and so your reward was to go home and reunite with your family and try your best to put the memories behind you.
Try your best to put him behind you.
So, why were you still being tormented?
When you first locked eyes with Coriolanus Snow, your first thought was how strikingly blue his were. Almost as if they weren’t real and had been specially manufactured in The Capitol for him, somehow. His hair, too, was just so much blonder than anything you’d seen in District 12, and again, you noted how so much about him seemed…artificial.
…but then he spoke…and the effect his voice had on you was very real.
“You don’t seem like you’re supposed to be here,” you’d said to him after stepping off of that train.
His response was expected, a charming chuckle leaving his pink lips, blond curls the perfect addition to his features.
“I’m not,” he slowly admitted.
The intensity behind his gaze whenever he so much as glanced at you was enough to make any girl’s heart race, and despite what you wished, you weren’t immune. He was beautiful—gorgeous as some of the other tributes and mentors liked to call him—and despite the initial intimidation, there was something about him that made you want to let your guard down.
…but he was your mentor…and a capitol citizen…and you were nothing more than his ticket to notoriety.
“Don’t you know who his dad was?” another tribute, one from one of the better districts, had said to you in a tone like you were stupid.
That was all the confirmation you needed, really.
…but he’d hopped onto the truck with you and gotten into that cage with you and brought you and your district mate food. He gave you poison to use against the other tributes. He wanted you to appeal to the audience so he’d have the funds to send you supplies. It was hard to decipher what was purely for show and what was just because he wanted you—and him by extension—to win. Perhaps, they were one in the same though, and it was impossible to have one without the other. Maybe it didn’t matter his reasons behind his desire to have his tribute win.
Maybe all that mattered was that you’d win.
…but that was when you thought winning meant you’d be free.
Coriolanus Snow was your best chance at winning, and so when the rebels rigged the arena, you didn’t hesitate to stay behind and save him. It wasn’t even a question in your mind because mentor or not, he was hurt, and you had to believe that that one fluke was not your only fighting chance. You couldn’t allow yourself to believe that in saving him, you’d allowed freedom to pass you by.
“You saved me,” he told you, a gentle brush of his handkerchief under your eye to catch your tears. “You saved me, and I am going to get you out of here.”
You had no idea then that he meant out of the games…and to him.
It was that flickering moment of doubt where you wondered if you could actually win, and you recalled what you’d said to him earlier about believing you could, how much you needed him to actually believe it. Now, you were the one doubting, and he could see it, blue gaze flicking over your face and soaking in the fear and uncertainty, because if you couldn’t win…
You’d die.
A lingering gaze and a tense atmosphere, and you felt yourself pulling back, realization hitting you as to just what you were about to let happen. It was hard to decipher who overstepped first, but you couldn’t allow yourself to get wrapped up in something that was only ever meant to be strictly professional. Coriolanus was your mentor, and you were his tribute.
That was all.
You didn’t know then the full lengths he went to just to ensure your victory. How could you? You were too busy trying to survive, trying to fight off rabid tributes and teenagers driven mad with the sole desire to just live. It was all so unfair and angering, and you were sure that with less focus, you might’ve gone insane too. You didn’t have the luxury to worry about your eerily handsome mentor and whatever ulterior motives he might’ve had to see you beat this thing.
So, when you did win, all you could feel was relief. All you could focus on was your family and their faces when you’d ultimately reunite with them. All you could even entertain were thoughts of pushing this very real nightmare to the back of your mind for as long as you possibly could. Initially, you didn’t even notice that you weren’t immediately reunited with your mentor when they crowned you as the winner and got you out of there.
At least, not until you came face to face with him in your own district.
“I thought they’d killed you. I didn’t know if my actions had come back on you too,” Coriolanus told you in a secluded corner, the loud music drowning out his words and the cover of darkness hiding your faces.
Those beautiful pale curls were gone, and any thought that so much of his beauty relied on his golden locks was gone too with one drink of him. He was still the same handsome boy that mentored you, the same one who’d garnered the nickname ‘gorgeous’ among the other tributes. Up on that stage, you’d been thrown to meet a familiar gaze, your harmonious tune pausing for half a second as he met your shocked stare with an expression of his own you couldn’t place, pink lips curved upwards ever so slightly.
Any question of how and why he was here had disappeared as you registered his words. Confusion filled you as you stared at him, a slight frown between your brows as you wracked your brain for how that could possibly make sense.
“Why would they kill me…?” you slowly asked him, and you and the shadows were all that was privy to his confession.
The water bottles, the handkerchief, and the snakes—even the poison. Coriolanus had cheated to secure your victory, broken rules that plucked him out of The Capitol and dropped him here in your very own district as a Peacekeeper. The shock you felt that your victory was far from a fair one warred with the confusion you felt as to why he’d risk everything just for you to win.
If you’d lost fair and square—as you probably should have—there was no doubt in your mind that he’d be safely tucked away in the lavishness of The Capitol instead of lingering about in some rundown excuse for a bar in lowly District 12. If he knew what awaited him should his treachery be discovered…then why chance it? Nothing about your brief tutelage with him could justify what he’d risked and ultimately lost.
You wanted to ask him why, but something in you was afraid of the answer.
That almost kiss—a kiss you hadn’t thought about in months—suddenly came to mind, and even though you didn’t ask him why, something in you knew why even if you wanted to deny it. It was there in the dim lighting and rowdy atmosphere of some rundown building that every minor interaction didn’t start to feel so minor.
Every brush of his hand against yours as he reached for you, the unsettling way he seemed to watch you in that short time that you’d simply written off as concern for his tribute, and the ruthless desire to see you out on the other side of the arena. The kiss that never was only seemed like a lapse in judgement to you then, but in this moment, you had suspicions that it was very much intentional.
You swallowed, realizing that in that brief internal introspection, Coriolanus hadn’t taken his eyes off of you once.
“Did they send you to District 12?” you finally asked him.
You didn’t know what gave you away. Perhaps your tone, maybe your face, or maybe your eyes weren’t as secretive as you’d like to believe. Either way, something about your visage and demeanor gave the blond man pause, head tilting just a tad as those baby blues glinted with something you didn’t recognize but you know you didn’t like. He studied your face before coming up with the answer he probably thought you wanted.
“Of course.”
You didn’t know if you believed him.
…and Coriolanus could tell.
You’d played enough cat and mouse games in the arena—you never thought you’d have to play them in your own home too.
Starving off the affections of some boy in your district wasn’t hard or uncharted territory. Even spurning the forbidden advances of a Peacekeeper or two wasn’t unheard of, but Coriolanus was different. He wasn’t some average Joe turned cop. He was born and raised in The Capitol with a powerful father, and even though the man had been taken before his time, your former mentor still had been brought up with the kind of influence and reach and mindset that surpassed the average Peacekeeper.
They were followers—controlled by The Capitol and tasked with maintaining order. Most were no more than dumb brutes, mindlessly following orders without question, simple enough to be bribed and swayed. If Coriolanus’ actions had shown you anything, it was that he was not a follower. He did what he wanted and played by his own rules, and it was how you found yourself hunted by a gaze you thought you’d left behind in the arena.
Since the discovery of your former mentor’s presence in your district, you never felt alone.
Every walk to trade for food felt shadowed, every footstep home was accompanied with an echo, and a sweep of your eye over the crowd as you played an instrument or sang a tune was rewarded with a familiar blue one that made your heart freeze. You were forced to ignore it no longer when a single rose was left for you on the doorstep, your ma’s gaze questioning as she held it out to you.
You didn’t know where or how he got it, but you only cared about giving it back.
“I can’t accept this,” you told him, gaze steady but fingers trembling as you held it out to him.
It was raining, and the cover over your heads sheltered you from the downpour, but it did little to drown out the sound of it. Coriolanus simply stared at the flower for what felt like too long, making no moves to take it from you, and you swallowed. His blue gaze zeroed in on the action before it lifted to your face.
“…and why not?”
“Because I think it means something different to you than it does to me.”
Your response was swift, and you watched him sigh, eventually reaching out to finger the flower like he did that day before he’d proceeded to put it behind your ear. He finally took it, and just like that day before the games, it found its way behind your ear once again. The only change this time was the shudder that traveled down your spine, and the apprehension you felt when his gaze met yours.
For the longest time, the only sound was that of the rain, a few stray drops making it’s way onto your face and clothes due to the wind. If the man before you still had the locks you’d met him with, they would’ve been rustling with the breeze, right now. Both of you were very still, or maybe it was just you—nervous and fearful of how he’d respond. He briefly looked past you, eyes glinting briefly before they hardened once again, his pink lips pressed together as he regarded you.
“…and if it does?”
He continued when you frowned.
“Mean something different to me than it does to you,” he elaborated, and you blinked.
Taking a deep breath, you tried to gather your thoughts.
“I know…that I’m only standing here, now, because of you,” you slowly started, watching him push his shoulders back. “I won because of you, I know that, but-.”
“Exactly,” he cut you off, making your lips part. “You won because of me…and everything I sacrificed was to make sure you won.”
“…but I didn’t ask you to do that!”
You felt…cornered, somehow, because on the one hand, yes. You did owe so much to the man before you, but at the same time, what did you owe specifically? Your attention? Your affection? Whatever he deemed an appropriate compensation? When you saved his life in the arena that day, and he vowed to save yours in return, you didn’t understand the full ramifications of the deal you were agreeing to.
“I saved your life, and you saved mine, and I’m sorry for the things you felt the need to risk, but that’s where it ends.”
The cold from the rain didn’t faze you nearly as much as the heat from his gaze boring into your back.
You wanted to believe that your lack of confrontation was what led you to the predicament you found yourself in. After all, things between you two had held too many ‘what ifs’ and lingering feelings and questions. You liked to hope that telling the man in no uncertain terms that your relationship should never and would never progress beyond anything professional would fix things.
You never would’ve guessed that your bout of confidence would only prove to make things worse.
“My ma doesn’t even know any rebels, and you know that.”
You’d whispered the words so quietly, throat too choked up to speak any louder as you tearfully stared Coriolanus down, your words only intended for the two of you. Your back was pressed to the doorway as he stood before you, a foot or two of space between you as other Peacekeepers did their duty to search your house as thoroughly as possible. The reason you’d been given was suspicion of treason—to the shock of your ma—but both you and the handsome man before you knew the truth.
“One can never be too sure. It’s always those you least expect.”
His cool response only made you look away, a few tears escaping.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You won, you were free, so why did it still feel like you were in the game…except a much more dangerous one this time? You could feel his eyes on you as you watched man after man rifle through you and your ma’s things, your younger sister not home to witness this. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him take a step towards you—just one, but one was enough to make you flinch.
You still didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking at him though.
“Unbearable,” he quietly said. “…not able to be endured…or tolerated.”
You swallowed.
“Not to be confused with hard—requiring a great deal of endurance or effort.”
Another step towards you.
“To find something unbearable means that you quite literally cannot stomach it any longer. It forces a change to come, forces something to…give,” he whispered.
Your gaze was still focused ahead, but his words made you blink, made your heart sink, and you swore that he knew that.
“I can make things incredibly unbearable for you…and your family.”
You straightened at that, finally looking at him with a venomous gaze and a heaving chest. Coriolanus reached up to pick at your shirt, removing a piece of grass from it, and you watched him inspect it before turning his blue eyes back onto you. They lingered on your own eyes before lowering to your lips, his own twitching so subtly you might’ve missed it if you were anyone else.
“Or I can make sure you’ll be taken care of, looked after as if you were my own…” his gaze met yours again. “It’s entirely your choice.”
You two stared at one another for an infuriating amount of time before he let out a sharp whistle, telling the other men that nothing seemed to be here and to move on. His wording was not lost on you, and you crossed your arms over your chest. Coriolanus was the last to walk out, and despite the feel of his heavy gaze, you didn’t look his way the entire time.
Your ma commented on the strangeness of the whole ordeal, but nothing about it was strange to you. It was all very calculating and sinister actually, and while you grew up hearing countless talk of running away and living off the grid, you were never more tempted than in this moment…but you were not alone. Your ma was sickly, and your sister was too young.
…and if you left, you could only guess what you’d be leaving your family susceptible to.
Your future seemed inevitable no matter how much you tried to find a way out of the path set for you.
The first night you slept with Coriolanus Snow, it was storming just like that day you’d attempted to give him back his flower. You’d cried for a good three hours before, feeling helpless in the aftermath of another so-called inspection from Peacekeepers—this one much more destructive. The only light that night came from the brief flashes of lightning, and the sound of the rain drowned out the reluctant gasps to leave your lips.
Hands much softer than you ever expected trailed down your frame, curving over your hips and dipping underneath your thighs. The blond man’s lips rarely left your skin, kissing whatever part of you that came to mind, nose gently grazing you as he did and pulling shudders from your frame. It was a foreign feeling to be so heated and afraid at the same time.
Under the cover of darkness, his fingers intertwined with your own and his hips were flush with yours. The feel of him inside of you was much more jarring than you thought it would be, choked deep breaths leaving your parted lips as he pressed his face into the crook of your neck. His thrusts were slow, the complete opposite of what you expected, and you didn’t know if you liked that better or worse.
Every kiss felt wrong, like you were betraying yourself, but in the same manner, they also reminded you of that first day you met. You thought about when you stepped off of that train, and that smooth voice escaped those pink lips, and your stomach flipped no matter how much you pretended it didn’t. The person you were that day wanted to throw your head back and welcome the little nips he left along your skin.
The person you were, now, wanted to crawl inside of your skin.
This man had stalked you to the highest degree, following you all the way from The Capitol just to collect on the young woman whose survival he ensured. The things he’d risked and ultimately lost, he placed the weight of on your shoulders as if you were responsible to compensate for that somehow. As if it was your duty to make his sacrifices worth it.
When he pulled you into his lap, resting on him with arms circled around your waist, it was your turn to press your face into the area where his neck and shoulder met. His fingers dancing along your skin made you shudder, and that just made the tears collect more because you didn’t want to enjoy this, but your body and your brain didn’t seem to be in alignment.
When you were forced to come around him, you saw stars, and you were positive your nails left marks on his back.
You didn’t really think that no more trouble from Peacekeepers was worth the figurative collar around your neck. The abundance of food and supplies might have been, if only to just see the smiles on your ma and sister’s faces, but even then, when you found your back pressed to Coriolanus’ chest as he drove his cock up into you, you wondered if it was actually worth it.
Your ma would say no, that you knew for sure, but you supposed it wasn’t her call to make.
After all, the alternative was psychological torment and worst-case scenarios you didn’t even want to entertain.
“Would you have had her arrested?” you quietly wondered one night.
The sheet was clutched to your chest, and you were facing the wall, still unable to look him in the eye directly afterwards. You’d never been able to, feeling used and low and indefensible. You tried not to dwell on the feel of his fingertips tracing patterns into your shoulder, his cool breath hitting your skin as he exhaled.
“I mean…would you have…framed her somehow? Found some justification for it?”
You didn’t know why you were asking, certain you wouldn’t like the answer, and as you predicted, you felt your throat tighten the longer the silence stretched. Against your will—like many things you’d been doing as of late—a few tears escaped, and even before he answered, you knew what you were going to hear.
“Yes,” he confessed, just as quietly.
You squeezed your eyes shut, subtly wiping your face.
“I sacrificed so much for you to win, and not just because your win was my win…but because I wanted to see you win,” he murmured, placing a kiss to your back. “…because I wanted you.”
You knew that, but having it confirmed so plainly was disturbing.
“…and when I eventually make my way back to The Capitol, as we both know I will, I’ll still want you.”
Your stomach sank at that, and for the first time, you turned to look at him while still trembling in the aftermath of what had quickly become a nightly occurrence. His gaze was still focused on where your back had been, and when his eyes flitted up to connect with yours, you didn’t have the words to convey how you felt about what he was insinuating.
“In The Capitol, you’ll have access to things you could never even imagine…and you could send those same things back to your family,” he told you, reaching up to touch your face.
When you moved to sit up, he stopped you, a firm grip on your arm. Coryo—as he liked for you to call him—fixed you with a look that you knew all too well. It was the look he gave you when you tried to come up with any excuse as to why you couldn’t meet with him. It was the look you received when you briefly forgot the power dynamics here, turning away from him and attempting to push him away.
It was a look that told you not to fight the inevitable.
“I want you there with me.”
His tone left no room for argument, and there was so much conviction in his voice that the thought of arguing seemed legitimately draining. You simply stared at him, eyes glassy, and he stared back, waiting for verbal confirmation of what you both knew was going to happen, anyway. You had no choice in the matter, you never did, and for a brief horrifying moment, you almost wished you were a lone orphan who didn’t have to look out for anybody but yourself.
That thought did make tears spill over.
It was a horrible thing to think, but your loved ones were being used against you, and you knew that your ma—and your sister if she were old enough to comprehend these things—would never want this for you. Coryo sat up with you, a hand resting on your cheek as he gazed at you, a thumb brushing the tears away. It wasn’t meant to be comforting.
Nothing he did was ever meant to be comforting.
“I want you there with me,” he repeated.
You wondered what someone like you would possibly do in The Capitol.
“I don’t belong there,” you whispered, a poor attempt to get him to change his mind.
His response was swift and clipped.
“You belong with me.”
When he pressed his lips to yours, it was expected that you would kiss him back. His thumb brushed along your skin as you did, a low hum sounding in the back of his throat that quickly escalated into a groan. His free arm snaked around you, and your last attempt at resisting proved futile, so you let him lay you down.
Sex with Coriolanus was a maddening experience.
You didn’t want it, and your brain didn’t want it, but it was as if your body was its own separate entity running on hormones and animal instinct.
When he rested his full weight on top of you, you shuddered for a multitude of reasons—one of which you didn’t want to acknowledge. When he slid his hand between your breasts and down to your stomach, your back arched, chest pressing up and into his. When he pushed into you all torturously slow as he always did, you involuntarily held your breath, shaking at the feel of his hips connecting with yours, the length of him fully sheathed in your warmth.
You were terrified of him, so that was why you opened up for him like those budding roses he used to carry around, but in doing so, you made yourself vulnerable beneath him. You made yourself more susceptible to his kisses and his touch and that maddening voice that knew just how to get its way. He wasn’t a very talkative man when he was inside of you, much more content with letting his actions speak for themselves, but tonight was different.
“Look at me,” he whispered, curving his hips into yours. “Look right at me.”
You did, and while you didn’t know the specifics of the psychology behind this, you knew that looking into the eyes of your tormentor while in the act couldn’t be good.
“Keep your eyes on me,” he breathlessly told you, nose brushing against yours with every thrust.
You could hear that it was starting to rain again, and you pressed your hands into the small of his back, trying to ground yourself in some way—trying to have control over something, anything. Tears kissed your eyes, and you swore—you swore—that something in those blues of his twinkled. It sparked something in his gaze, and in his psyche, his thrusts becoming more powerful and making you gasp, nails pressing into his skin.
He only looked especially satisfied when the tears spilled over.
When he came inside of you, and you around him, you swore you saw stars.
You even thought you saw snow.
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fum1ku · 4 months
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TOXIC TRAITS - HQ BOYS
ft. kiyoomi sakusa, koushi sugawara, atsumu miya, daichi sawamura, tobio kageyama, kei tsukishima
tw: toxic relationship, arguments, cursing
pt. 2 where everyone kisses and makes out makes up, anyone?
KIYOOMI: silent treatment. perhaps kiyoomi’s fight or flight reaction stemmed from his inability to communicate well. but, that didn’t feel completely true. he could be blunt; honestly saying what was on his mind to anyone. but, when it came to you, he was just.. silent. you’d beg and plead, scream or shout, say anything and you wouldn’t hear a word back from him. it hurt. it tore deep into your chest; finding itself a resting spot in the pit of your stomach. would someone who truly loved you really do this to you?
KOUSHI: love bombing. sugawara really didn’t mean to. he didn’t know how much he’d ever smothered you until he heard someone actually say something about it. at first you thought it was just sweet, random acts of kindness from him. his love language shining through, at most. the expensive gifts, the rush of compliments he’d give you, the aching feeling of his arms wrapping around you for the 5th time in that moment. but, no—it was more than that. all of it was meaningless; hallow. not a second thought put into it besides his desperation to win you. to have you. he was so desperate to not let you slip away that he forgot what he had ever felt for you in the first place: love.
ATSUMU: toxic jealousy. atsumu miya had been popular with girls since high school. and of course it didn’t stop when he joined the msby jackals. if anything, he had been more popular with women now than he had been in his entire life. but, he always said it didn’t matter. he always told you “you’re all i need. no stupid fan girls can get in the way of that. i have you, and that’s all i want.” all he wants. but that all fades away after your first actual fight. who even remembers what it was about? it didn’t matter anymore. sitting in the bleachers watching your boyfriend prepare for his next match, you could see as a swarm of overzealous girls came running towards him. instead of his usual wave of acknowledgment and turning away to head for a more private area, he dove deep into the attention. he soaked up each compliment from every girl in the crowd with a sly smirk on his face. he accepted every picture he was asked to take; putting his hand around her waist, letting her kiss his cheek or feel his stupid muscles through his jersey. he did all of this knowing you had been there waiting; watching. he did all of this, not feeling a single bit of remorse up till the second he watched as hot tears streamed down your face and you ran out of the arena. shit. he had really fucked up.
DAICHI: overprotective. it was sweet daichi cared. really, it was. he’d place a firm hand around your waist when walking past guys in the street because he knew it made you feel safe. he’d have you sit a few rows back in the bleachers when watching his games “just in case”. and he’d always make sure you made it home safe after work or school. but, it soon turned into more than just those silly protective things. sometimes he made you feel like you couldn’t think or plainly act for yourself. everything had a risk to him; a risk that wasn’t worth taking with you. you tried to reason with him, but it never made sense to him in the way it did to you. he just wanted you to be safe after all, right?
TOBIO: anger issues. tobio didn’t mean to snap. it just.. well, happened. he loved you—he loves you— so much. he never wanted to see you cry; he never wanted to be the reason why you cried. but it had been a long day. practice had left him dead and dry. it had been back-to-back interviews, multiple photoshoots, and so many fucking autographs. today had taken everything out of him. as shallow as all of those things sounded, it was.. overstimulating, to say the least. kageyama couldn’t think of a better word to describe it; to name exactly what he felt. but when he came home and saw you in the kitchen; dishes stacked high, the pot on the stove bubbling over, the heat that overtook every single room in the apartment—he snapped. he lost it. you had opened your mouth to greet him and before you were able to say anything, all of the frustrations from today started pouring out of his mouth.
“fucking damnit. what the hell are you even doing, y/n? it’s a thousand fucking degrees in here with the stove on and it’s boiling over. fucking shit. i’m exhausted and i can’t even come home to have some damn peace in my own fucking house. what the actual hell?” his words burned through his throat, leaving a bitter taste on the tip of his tongue.
you said nothing as you turned the stove off, and walked straight past him.
“y/n—” he stuttered. “i’m—fuck— i’m so sorry. today was rough and i just..”
he looked down at you to see your body shaking; tears streaming down your face. he fucked up.
KEI: lack of communication. that best summed up kei’s entire life. including his life with you. one small argument and he was gone. vanished. nowhere to be found. not until you’d find him in some tucked away corner of your shared apartment. or outside the building during the evening. you could try your best to say something to him—anything—but it didn’t matter. he’d only talk to you on his own terms. but, what he was thinking? what he was feeling? that was a mystery to you. you could pour your heart out to him about how lost you felt; how much of a mystery his emotions were to you even after being together for so long. didn’t matter. he couldn’t piece together a string of words to give back to you. and that was going to be his downfall.
© fum1ku 2024.
⁂ taglist: none at the moment ! let me know if you wanted to be tagged for anything<3 my requests are always open too !!
2K notes · View notes
voguesriot · 7 months
Text
SUNBURN ✹ luke castellan
( summary ) a social media au about chb’s fav couple (& their fav shitstirrer, aka percy jackson)
( pairing ) luke castellan x fem aphrodite cabin-coded!reader & small bits of baby percabeth
( notes ) first post ahhh!!! this was so fun to make
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♫ Ant Pile by Dominic Fike
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♡ liked by wisegirll , silenabeauregard , and others
yourusername my bf is hot but dominic fike if u wanna hmu i can ditch him it’s no biggie 😁🫶
lukecastellan EXCUSE ME
lukecastellan you already completed your rite of passage why do you need to break my heart 😔💔
yourusername want me to kiss that bruised ego better?
lukecastellan sigh… i guess…
seaweedbrain BOOO TOMATO TOMATO BOOOOO
seaweedbrain get his ass off my screen 🤣🤣
lukecastellan sparring arena. you and me. now.
groverunderwood bros rlly beefing with a 13 yr old
seaweedbrain the typa guy to tell me to kms bcs i voted him out in roblox total drama island
clarisselarue this would’ve been so much better without the second slide
yourusername no more like content from here on out 🙅‍♀️
lukecastellan wtf???
yourusername sorry babe i don’t argue with girls who have big brown eyes, whatever she wants she’s gonna get
silenabeauregard YOU LOOK SO CUTESY
yourusername I LOVE U 🥹❤️‍🩹
chrisrodriguez lukecastellan bro ik nobody else here fw you, but i’ll always fw you 💗
lukecastellan you’re a real one bro 👊
aphroditecamper1 u guys are so cute ☹️
♫ Babydoll by Dominic Fike
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♡ liked by cbeckendorf , connorstroll , and others
lukecastellan yeah your girl might have a general grasp on battle strategies or whatever but can she bring an oddly unsettling vibe and a cute smile to the function? DIDNT THINK SO ‼️‼️‼️
seaweedbrain put a shirt on man nobody wants to be seeing all that trust 🙏
lukecastellan i wonder if your dad would’ve stayed if you weren’t such a hater
seaweedbrain i wonder if your dad wouldn’t have become the ten dollar founding father if you mom swallowed
yourusername woah…
seaweedbrain when he goes low i go LOWER
wisegirll too far percy
seaweedbrain sorry ma’am
clarisselarue this would’ve been so much better without the second slide
lukecastellan it’s my account???
clarisselarue i stand by what i said.
chrisrodriguez yk i can bring an oddly unsettling vibe too and my ma said my smiles pretty cute so…
yourusername yeah you bring such a crazy vibe!!
chrisrodriguez now that’s just rude
yourusername tried to be a homewrecker but you got wrecked instead 🤷‍♀️
wisegirll yourusername your lashes look so good!!!!
yourusername MY BABY THANK U I LOVE U UR MY FAV PERSON EVER
clarisselarue WTF???
silenabeauregard WTF?????
seaweedbrain WTF????
lukecastellan i’m used to this by now 😔💔🥀
♫ Woman Screaming #2 by Anton Hughes
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♡ liked by wisegirll , racheledare , and others
seaweedbrain does he just not own a shirt… COVER YOUR BOOBS SIR PLEASE THERE ARE CHILDREN
lukecastellan why are you taking pics of us having a nap… fan behaviour icl
seaweedbrain i needed proof to file a police report against you for theft
lukecastellan how did you know??
seaweedbrain i was talking ab stealing my innocence but what were you thinking…
yourusername wait perce can you send me the second pic it’s so cute
yourusername send the first one too actually please
seaweedbrain pick yourself up you’re stronger than this what happened to women who stand on business 😔
yourusername i was standing!!! but then my feet hurt and he picked me up :)
seaweedbrain sigh
chrisrodriguez bros looking fine oh my gods
lukecastellan don’t matter if i’ve got a world of haters, i got you by my side
yourusername i’m just gonna leave…
clarisselarue yourusername just saying i’d never pull that shit
lukecastellan ok joke over ha ha funny
wisegirll percy this is a bit stalkerish 😭
seaweedbrain i’m sorry you’re right
this post has been deleted.
3K notes · View notes
sansaorgana · 5 months
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— TAMED
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PAIRING — Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!Reader
SUMMARY — You're a cat lover and Feyd-Rautha reminds you of one. You want him and you believe you can tame him.
REQUEST — (1)
AUTHOR’S NOTE — This is not exactly what the request was about but it includes Feyd having to deal with his wife's pet (I chose a cat because I'm a cat person myself). You see, I was a bit tired of my Readers being afraid and scared and I was also tired of the arranged marriage trope, which is one of my favourites, but everyone needs a break, huh? 😅
WARNINGS — harm to animals mentioned, brief mentions of Feyd's traumatic past, Reader being absolutely spoiled
WORD COUNT — 4,230
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
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TAMED
“I want him,” you announced as you put your binoculars down and your lips curled into a smirk.
Your parents looked at each other, confused. You were in the stands as the guests invited to watch Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen’s gladiator fight. It was his birthday and his uncle made sure all the leaders of the befriended worlds were watching the display of violence and power. The display that made your parents absolutely terrified but you… You were amazed and aroused. The way young Feyd-Rautha defeated his enemies was like a brutal dance; a raw ritual. He was a feral feline and you were known to be a cat lover.
“Excuse me?” Your father asked.
“I want him. Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen,” you repeated without even looking at him. Your eyes were focused only on the man in the arena who was raising his knife in a gesture of victory.
“These people are insane,” your mother hissed.
“You keep telling me it’s time for me to find a husband. I want him,” you pouted. You were determined – but not desperate.
“I can talk to Baron Harkonnen. But I am sure he would rather marry his nephew and heir to one of the Imperial Princesses,” your father informed you as your mother gasped at his words. She opposed the idea of this match completely.
“I understand,” you nodded. “Just do whatever it takes so if you fail, I will know you couldn’t possibly do more.”
He reluctantly agreed as he squeezed your cheek as if you were still a little girl. But perhaps it was a good thing that in his eyes you still were one. Because he would do anything to make you happy and fulfil your every whim.
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You spotted your father talking to Baron Harkonnen during his nephew’s birthday party but you didn’t want to just stand in the corner and wait for the men to make decisions in your name. Despite your mother’s protests, you approached Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen and bowed slightly in sign of respect. He tilted his head, reminding you of a curious cat. You giggled and he squinted his eyes.
“Na-Baron, I couldn’t wait to meet you in person after seeing you fight in the arena,” you admitted.
“Lady (Y/N),” he greeted you coldly. “I wouldn’t expect such interests from a lady like you.”
“And I expected you would know more about the female nature,” you teased him and visibly angered him although he was trying to be on his best behaviour around guests. “Don’t you know that ladies love violence? The interesting ones at least,” you shrugged your arms.
“I don’t care what ladies like,” he answered. “I always get what I want either way.”
“I’m sure you do,” your eyes sparkled at a possibility of being one of the things he would want to claim for himself.
Most noble women were scared and disgusted after hearing all the stories about Feyd-Rautha and his sexual appetite, his psychotic nature. They would approach him only when needed and tried to stay away as far as possible. You were the very rare breed of women who would actually take interest in him and that intrigued him as he looked you up and down.
You gave him one last smile and walked back to your worried mother who was about to scold you for your reckless behaviour. However, for the rest of the night you kept glancing at the young na-baron and he was looking back. 
When you left the party, earlier than most people, you made sure to announce loud and clear that you were about to retire to your chambers. Then you looked deep into his eyes and walked out, followed by a servant. You dismissed her when you were in the guest wing and you continued your journey alone and as slow as possible.
You looked around but Feyd-Rautha seemed not to be following you. At least you could not see nor hear him and for a moment you thought you failed. After all, you were not a skilled seductress, you only did what your heart was telling you to do – your heart and your experience with the animals you loved the most. Cats.
And just like a cat and a skilled assassin that he was, Feyd silently emerged from the darkness when you were just about to open the doors leading to your bedroom. He was standing right behind you and his ominous presence sent a shiver down your spine.
“What are you doing, na-baron?” You swallowed thickly and shivered.
“Don’t pretend,” he whispered in his raspy voice. “You’re not the first spoiled noble lady who wants to use me for pleasure,” he told you. “What is it? Are you bored? Or engaged to an awful lord and you ant to find out what it’s like to have fun before you are forced to spend the rest of your life with him? Honestly, I don’t care,” he admitted and turned you around to face him. His touch was rough and for a second you genuinely felt scared when he trapped you between the doors and his muscular body.
The way he was staring down at you felt as if he was penetrating your soul. Only that his eyes were empty. He was gazing into you but you couldn't gaze back because he didn’t have a soul. There was an endless coldness in his pupils. And so much pain.
“It’s a misunderstanding,” you whispered, almost inaudibly, as the tips of your noses brushed against each other. “I am not one of those women. The only man who can take me will be my husband,” you tried to sound convincing and stern but with a small dose of innocence. He blinked slowly, surprised by your confession.
“I thought you wanted me to follow you,” he insisted.
“No,” you lied. “I was only looking at you because I find you interesting,” you looked down. “But it’s sad what you’ve just told me, my Lord,” you added.
“Why?” Feyd was confused as he took a step back.
“I don’t know… I just think you’re so much more than a toy to use for pleasure,” you looked up again to meet his gaze. “I don’t think you should let those ladies treat you like that. I know you keep telling yourself you like it but it’s not you always getting what you want. It’s them always getting what they want until there is nothing left of you, is it not, na-baron?” You batted your eyelashes and he took another step back, like a predator realising that the prey he had caught was poisonous. “Good night, my Lord… and happy birthday,” you gave him a soft smile and disappeared behind the doors leading to your bedroom.
You couldn’t sleep all night, clutching on the bedsheets and hoping for the best outcome. In the morning your father told you that The Baron was slowly starting to like the idea of your marriage union with his nephew. Apparently, he changed his mind after a conversation with Feyd-Rautha in the early morning.
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” your father warned you at the sight of your wide smile.
“Oh, papa, I always do,” you assured him, already excited about your new pet kitty.
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You stayed on Giedi Prime for a month for the courting process but Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen had the privilege of being able to call off the engagement at any moment. That, however, did not happen. He was growing more and more fond of you each day. You were watching him train and walking all around the fortress as he was telling you about his family’s history and culture. You were the most fascinated by the war stories and weapons, always eager to learn more. Always eager to let him steal a kiss here and there, let his hands wander but always stepping back when it would get too heated. You didn’t want him to use you and then discard you. No, he had to be patient for the real reward. Just like cats would lose interest if you let them catch the mouse too quickly.
What you noticed about him, though, was how much he avoided the intimate physical touch. He didn’t mind his opponents striking him or choking him, violating his body in any way, really. But the delicacy was making him flinch and startle to the point of aggression. He wouldn’t lash out at you but he would do that often at the servants. When it was you trying to caress him, he was clenching his jaw and shooting you a deadly glance. The more you knew about him, the more convinced you were that he was just a cat in a human form.
When a month passed, you were scared he would send you away. But instead of doing so, he sent a tailor and a bunch of servants to your room. It was time for you to make all the required fittings for your wedding dress. You sent out the invitations, too. And in the letter addressed to your parents, you mentioned all the things you wanted them to bring you to Giedi Prime.
One of them was your favourite kitty Mephisto.
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On the first day of your marriage you were unpacking the boxes from home as Feyd was sitting up in bed and watching you. It was the only day he allowed himself to skip the daily training as the activities between a husband and a wife could count as one, too. However, you required a break and wanted to finally reunite with your favourite items… and your favourite pet.
Feyd’s eyes widened at the sight of a hairless cat in the arms of the servant girl.
“What is that monstrosity?” He asked you.
“That’s Mephisto! My cat!” You took him from the girl’s arms and cuddled him. “Oh, mummy’s been missing you, baby,” you cooed to him and he started to purr.
“You can’t be serious, wife,” Feyd moved closer to inspect the creature with his eyes. Mephisto hissed and you giggled. “That is a cat?”
“You’ve never seen one?” You asked.
“I have. But not like that. It’s ugly,” Feyd scrunched his nose.
“Why ugly?” You gasped and held Mephisto’s head lovingly as if you were protecting him from your husband’s harsh words.
“Cats have fur. This one is so…”
“Bald?” You teased and he closed his mouth, realising the irony. “I have plenty of cats back home but I was aware I couldn’t bring them all here. I chose Mephisto because he is my favourite. We had tough beginnings. He didn’t trust me and he was scratching me a lot. He’s a mean-mean baby,” you leaned in to kiss the cat and Feyd winced as he found it disgusting.
“Do whatever but I don’t want this creature in my chambers,” Feyd stated.
“You’re insane! Mephisto will never leave these chambers. I don’t want him to get lost or hurt in the fortress. Also, he always sleeps with me,” you protested.
Feyd took a deep breath in as he closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down.
“If he scratches one thing… I will throw him out of the balcony door,” he threatened.
“If you do that, I will never speak to you again. And certainly I won’t ever share the bed with you, husband. Mephisto is like a child to me. You can’t threaten me this way. It does nothing but anger me,” you pointed out and cuddled the cat. “Aw, Mephisto, look, daddy’s angry.”
“I am not this thing’s… father,” Feyd drawled through gritted teeth as he stood up to put a robe on. “After all, I think I will go train today.”
“Then go,” you shrugged your arms. “I will cuddle with Mephisto in the meantime because I haven’t seen him in a month.”
Feyd shot you an angry glance.
“You’re not jealous, are you?” You looked up as that sudden realisation hit you.
“No,” he snorted. “Of this thing? Please,” he sneered at you and left the chambers.
“We have lots of work with your new daddy, Mephisto,” you chuckled to the kitty and kissed its head. He meowed at you.
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Feyd-Rautha absolutely despised your cat. He hated that you allowed that creature to sleep in bed with you and you were always holding him in your arms. When Feyd was working on paperwork – which he hated – Mephisto would often jump on his desk and bother him. Many times when you were out of the room, Feyd had the urge to grab the creature and throw it out of the balcony or even snap its neck but when he actually extended his hands to catch the cat, the urge disappeared.
First of all, he didn’t want to hurt you. And that was a brand new feeling for him because never before had he cared about someone’s feelings like that. And second of all, the moment the cat was in his arms, Mephisto would start to purr and rub his head on Feyd’s hand or chest. Even though at first he found it disgusting, he quickly started to enjoy it. There was something comforting in the cat’s touch. It was not human and yet so pure. As time passed, he was allowing Mephisto to nap on his lap as he worked on the papers. Of course he would quickly put the cat away whenever someone was coming. He didn’t want anyone to see him so weak.
But he was jealous of the cat, too. He was jealous of the kisses and attention he was getting. The belly rubs and scratches behind the ear. The way Mephisto would curl up and sleep on your chest. Feyd craved it from you, too, but he didn’t know how to allow himself to ask for it. It would be humiliating, he thought, but also dangerous. He wanted to trust you but he was not able to. And whenever you tried to touch him gently, he was haunted by the memories he didn’t want to remember. He didn’t cuddle you at night and he didn’t allow you to do the same. While performing the marital duties, he had a feeling they would be even better if he allowed himself a little gentleness but he just couldn’t let his guard down. Not even around you.
For a long time, Mephisto was the only creature that saw the soft side of your husband. When they were alone in your chambers, Feyd would let him not only nap on him but he would also carry him in his arms and pet him. Sometimes he was starting fights for the cat to scratch and bite him and for Feyd it was great fun. They created a bond that you had no idea about. You kept thinking that your husband despised Mephisto and he didn’t mind you thinking this way.
So, when you spotted a scratch on Feyd’s desk one day, you panicked. You quickly covered it with a few papers laying aside and fixed your hair right before your husband walked inside the chambers that afternoon.
“What are you doing here so early?” You asked as he squinted his eyes at you, suspiciously.
“I have to work on the papers, answer some stupid letters,” Feyd sighed and approached you. He put his hands on your waist and inspected your suspicious face. “Is everything alright, wife?” He asked.
“Yes, my dear, perfectly fine,” you faked a smile. “I have to go and work on the preparations for the event next week,” you reminded him and he nodded before leaning in to give you a possessive kiss. He would give you them a few times a day to remind you to whom you belonged. Not that you minded. After all, you had been wanting this from the moment you had seen him in the arena.
“See you later, then, wife,” Feyd sat by the desk and your heart skipped a beat when you spotted him picking up one of the papers you had used to cover the scratch with. However, he didn’t seem to notice the damage done to his desk. You sighed with relief and left the chambers, hoping that Feyd would continue to be blind when it came to that scratch.
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But when you came back to your bedroom two hours later, it was empty. You didn’t expect to see Feyd because he had his other duties to perform on that day. What worried you was the fact you couldn’t find your cat. After crawling all over the floor like a madwoman, trying to see if he was not hiding under any furniture, you just burst into tears in the middle of the carpet. You were sure that Feyd had spotted the scratch and gotten rid of your cat. After all, he had threatened to do so on the very first day of your marriage.
You pulled your knees to your chest and rested your forehead on them as you sobbed, hugging yourself. You could only blame yourself. Your parents had been warning you about the Harkonnens but you still wanted a man like Feyd-Rautha as your husband. Hoping to tame him as it would boost your spoiled ego even further to do that. And now your innocent little kitty was a victim of his fury. Was Mephisto still alive? You hoped so. But even if… how would he survive on Giedi Prime? He would not. And you would not either without him. He was your anchor.
You didn’t want to complain about your husband’s homeplanet because you chose him to be your husband yourself. And some part of you loved him – even though at the moment you weren’t so sure anymore – but it was not a friendly place. And it was not pleasant. It was cold and scary and colourless. Mephisto was reminding you of home. Of your other kittens, of your parents, of the real sunlight. He was also letting you love him like your husband would never do. And he was loving you back… unconditionally. And now he was gone. Your little baby.
You couldn’t tell for how long you had been sobbing like this. It could be hours. When Feyd came back to your chambers, he froze at the sight of you in such a position on the carpet.
“What happened, wife?” He asked as he stood above you. You didn’t answer, too angry at him. He sighed and crouched down to be on your level. “Are you hurt?” 
“Yes, I am,” you finally looked at him, furiously. He seemed to be surprised. “I am hurt by what you have done. And now you’re going to pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about, right? Go to hell. I hate you,” you snapped and hid your face again.
“I don’t understand. Can you explain this to me?” He asked, slowly, trying not to snap back at you.
“Mephisto! You got rid of him!” You sobbed.
“What? I have not…” He stuttered and put his arms on your shoulders to make you look up again. So you did but you were as angry as before.
“Don’t lie to me. You hated that cat and you just threw him away because he scratched your desk. Congratulations, Feyd-Rautha, you got rid of an innocent animal, you won with a sinless little baby; my baby. Are you proud of yourself? Was it a satisfying victory to hurt a little kitty?”
Feyd didn’t answer, he was staring at you as if you were crazy.
“It really feels as if you killed my baby,” you told him. “And I will never forgive you.”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t touch him. What happened?” Feyd shook your arms.
“He’s not here. I don’t know what you’ve done to him but he’s not here,” you sniffled.
“I didn’t do anything!” He protested.
“I don’t believe you!” You moved back, you hated to feel his touch on you. You clumsily stood up and curled on the bed. “I don’t want to see you. Go away. I wanted to love you but you’re rotten to the core. You’re just evil. Unlovable,” you muttered.
You couldn’t know how hurtful your words were. But Feyd didn’t blame you because you couldn’t know his true feelings. And he focused more on Mephisto anyway. He was worried about the kitty, too. So, after a while of staring at you without a word, he put his hand on his hip and looked around, as if he would magically find the cat. He even looked under the bed as your sobs filled the room.
Without a word, Feyd left the bedroom and you hugged your own arms as the pillow under your head was getting wet from your tears. 
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It was dark already and you were half asleep when the doors opened again. It brought you back from the state of slumber but you felt too hopeless to even lift a hand to turn on the light. You recognised Feyd’s silhouette approaching you so you decided to ignore him completely. Nothing could fix this damage. Never.
You felt him sitting on the edge of the bed while turning the bedside lamp on. You squinted your eyes at the sudden brightness.
“I found him,” Feyd’s whisper made your eyes open as you sat up rapidly, utterly shocked at the sight of Mephisto in your husband’s arms.
“Wh-what?” You asked. At first, your sleepy and foggy brain refused to believe that the cat was really your Mephisto.
“He was hiding in the dungeons,” Feyd explained. “I searched through the whole fortress to find him. Hired half of the guards to help me. My uncle found it hilarious,” Feyd handed you the kitty and you sobbed out of relief. Mephisto was stinking but he was alive and healthy. You hugged him tight to your chest. “One of the servants was not cautious enough and left the doors ajar when she was cleaning here.”
“Which one?” You asked, angrily.
“It doesn’t matter. I have dealt with her already,” Feyd assured you and you nodded.
You suddenly began to feel guilty for the way you had treated your husband before. Now, when Mephisto was back in your arms and it was all thanks to Feyd…
“I didn’t expect you to care so much,” you admitted, not wanting to look up and meet his gaze. Your hands focused on caressing the cat. “That you didn’t want me to be sad.”
“You’re my wife of free choice. I don’t want my wife to be sad,” Feyd nodded. “And I wanted the cat back,” he added. You eventually looked up at him, surprised by his confession.
“You hate him,” you reminded him.
“Not at all,” Feyd smirked nervously and you didn’t say anything to that. You had no idea that he actually liked the cat. You still had a lot to learn when it came to the ways in which your husband would show his affection.
“I was cruel to you,” you whispered. “I am sorry.”
“You had your reasons to be,” he only said. “And you were not wrong about me.”
“I was,” you moved to the side gently, making a space in bed for him to lay there, too.
So he did, without a word. And one of his hands actually caressed Mephisto’s head. The cat began to purr and you realised they had already had a bond that you had just not noticed before.
Hesitantly, you dared to raise one of your hands, too. You gently brushed Feyd’s forehead and then his cheek. He didn’t startle this time and you happily began to explore every curve of his beautiful face with your fingertips.
“You’re funny,” you giggled and he looked up, curiously. “You’re the scariest Harkonnen but you’re also the prettiest,” you admitted and he blushed a little. You had never expected to see him blush. “And look at you, you allow me to touch you.”
“It feels good when you do that,” Feyd closed his eyes just like Mephisto had his own pair shut close. You swore, if your husband was an actual animal, he would start purring under your touch.
You felt proud of yourself to tame him. You had known from the moment you had seen him that you would succeed. But it was not the pride that made your heart swell. It was love. There was something about Feyd-Rautha that just made you want to treat him like a kitty, too. Scratch him behind his ear and let him sleep on your chest. Most ladies would call you insane for that but you knew him in a way they would never know him. You leaned in to place a kiss upon Mephisto’s forehead and then you did the same to Feyd-Rautha.
“I’m sorry I have doubted you,” you whispered to him. “You would never hurt me, am I right?”
He only hummed in response, moving even closer to your body. You smiled to yourself.
“I have tamed you, husband, have I not?”
But he didn’t reply. He was already asleep, snoring lightly. You had never seen his face so relaxed and carefree before. He didn’t have to say anything for you to know the answer.
And as much as you loved Mephisto like your own little baby… You had a new favourite pet now.
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MASTERLIST
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bxlladxnnabxtch · 2 months
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Devotion & Deceit
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Rhysand x Reader
❀​🇲​​🇦​​🇸​​🇹​​🇪​​🇷​​🇱​​🇮​​🇸​​🇹​❀
Summary: Upon learning Rhysand intends to go through with his proposal, you begin to deteriorate. Your mates complete disregard for your concerns leaves you making some brash decisions of your own.
Read pt.1 to Devotion & Deceit - HERE
Read pt.4 - HERE
Warnings: Descriptions of trauma, Panic Attacks, Blood, Depression, Brief mentions of self harm.
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You weren’t able to get up out of bed, and despite Azriels visits and multiple attempts, he couldn’t get you up either. Even though the majority of your time was spent in the small bedroom of that log cabin, very little time was spent actually sleeping in it. The miniscule amount of sleep you did get was broken by you jolting awake in the dead of night only to cry until the sun peaked through the cracks of the drapes that remained closed no matter what time of day.
The meals that Azriel brought to you remained ignored and untouched on the nightstand, to be removed by him the next day with a fresh platter in the hopes that you would at least pick through it. On occasion the smell would have you scrambling for the toilet, thin figure peeled over the side as you dry heaved into the bowl. The meals eventually reduced to small snacks the more often it happened, making you feel the slightest hint of guilt which only had you burrowing further into the sheets.
Niliana’s best efforts didn’t seem to shake you either, she’d come by to give you the latest spiel of the gossip in town, or brush out your hair as you laid in bed. She came by every day for the better part of a month, until the work she put off caught up to her, sending the wraith scrambling to catch up. She no longer came by.
Rhys hadn’t sent a word down the bond. Not a flicker of emotion, pain, even a thought. Just.. nothing. He was completely shut off from you. Not like you could complain, you did the exact same to him, going completely MIA.
“Have you two spoken?” Azriel said from the doorway, a glass of water in hand along with a small rag that undoubtedly held more food he wanted you to shove down your throat. Azriel sighed as he saw your eyes fall on the item, a grimace gracing your features. You muttered a soft “no” as he padded towards the bed, hand outstretched in a silent plea for you to sit up.
You groaned, sitting up as you rubbed your eyes, the dark circles surrounding them making you look like you had taken a beating. “I need to change anyways.” You croaked; voice rough as you swung your legs over the side of the bed.
You had visibly lost weight, your legs looking like if you look a step they’d crack under the pressure. You couldn’t bring yourself to care even the slightest bit. Ever since he had chosen her. Left his mate to rot in this stupid log cabin as if you meant nothing to him. Chose her again just like he did Under the Mountain, while Amarantha forced you to watch every night as she danced for him in that skimpy little outfit. But even then, you understood, then you knew that he was doing it for you- doing what was necessary.
What you didn’t understand was this. It had ended, you had run to him in that arena like you had wanted to for fifty years. You had clung to him like he was your lifeline. Five decades of Amarantha using you as her slave, only allowing you to see Rhys when he was tangled up with her. Always by her side.
And he had chosen someone else over you- yet again.
Azriel broke your thoughts by holding out the glass to you, and you rose from the bed, taking it in your frail hands, slightly shaky from the lack of vitamins. You brought it to your mouth, letting the chill of the glass rest on your bottom lip as you swallowed a few mouthfuls of the liquid. It didn’t go down easy, the cold making you recoil slightly as you swallowed the last bit.
You turned back to hand the glass back to Azriel, but he was frozen, face pale as he looked at you. His shadows swarmed him, moving around him in a frenzy, curling towards his ears, flicking around his waist. He stared at the glass you held out to him, and you slowly retracted your hand as you realize he was too caught up in whatever his shadows were whispering to him.
Your face fell, and the corners of your mouth downturned into a poorly concealed frown. “Is she there?” You asked, the question falling out of you before you could do anything to stop it, not that you could’ve. You didn’t know why you needed to know so bad, your body ached with the question, your hand gripping the glass tighter in an unexplainable want.  His mouth opened like he was going to speak, but immediately shut closed as he hesitated. He didn’t need to say it, you knew.
You knew, you always knew.
Something in you snapped, and like a cage being unlocked, a fiery, all-consuming fury burst through the bars and swallowed you whole. The feeling swamped you like a tidal wave, your arm cocking back, barely feeling the glass slipping from your grasp as you sent it soaring straight at the wall.
The glass shattered immediately upon impact, the sound breaking the comforting stillness of the room, making Azriel flinch. Shards of glass and remnants of water were blown back at you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as you felt the water drench the front of your shirt. The cloth stuck to your ribcage, the frigid wetness not registering in the slightest. You felt a shard slice your cheek open as it grazed you, and other bits of glass embed themselves into you as you heard the tinkle of the pieces falling to the floor, a few skittering across the ground.
“I’M NOT STAYING HERE!” You roared, hands coming to cradle your head, hands fisted in your hair. You pulled at the roots, clung to them like they’d offer some grain of comfort as your breathing began to speed up. The room was spinning, everything was spinning.
And you were Under the Mountain again- you were cold and wet. It was dark, your cell was too small. You could feel the dirt and grime and how it was caked under your fingernails like the dust had engraved itself onto you. Your matted hair and the feeling of the violent tugs as you ripped it out. But that was your hair- you could feel it between your fingers. You couldn’t breathe- God, why couldn’t you breathe.
“Get your shit together!” Azriel yelled, jolting you as he forced you to stop spiraling, hands clamping down on your wrists as you stilled. His grip dug into your skin, and you finally surfaced from the hurricane in your head enough to realize you were holding clumps of your hair in your hands. The thin strands hung from your fingers like a morbid Solstice decoration, and you vaguely recognized the sting that told you that you had bitten through your bottom lip in your haste.
You stared at him wide eyed, feeling the burn of your tears leaking into the cut on your cheek. You flinched as you felt a drop of blood hit your forearm, and looked down soon enough to watch the crimson run down the expanse towards your elbow. It stained your skin, and you watched as another drop landed right beside it. You were bleeding, you could feel as it ran down your cheek, over your jaw, mingling with the blood that dripped from your lip down your chin.
“Do you think if you destroy yourself enough that he’ll come save you like he did for Feyre?”
It dawned on you then, just how much you had ruined yourself. You had turned into the very thing you had hated Feyre for. The very thing that had Rhys tripping over himself to go and fix, just like he did for her Under the Mountain.
Yet he didn’t come for you.
“I can’t stay here.” You whispered, bottom lip trembling.
“Then you won’t.” Azriel said, letting go of your wrists.
Azriel had helped you calm down and think of what you were going to pack, not that you were taking much with you, the very idea of having anything to remind you of your time here made you want to throw up whatever was left in your stomach. You settled for a small change of clothes, your hands smoothing over the wrinkles as you folded the articles.
“Have you even decided where you’re going?” Azriel asked as he perched on the bed beside you. You shoved the small shirt you were folding into your bag, eyes trailing over to him as he waited on your answer. The drapes had been opened after your breakdown, making the light glint off Azriel’s siphons as he shifted, hands coming to perch on his knees. You shrugged, eyes stinging the slightest bit as they still needed time to adjust to the newly introduced light that you’d been avoiding for weeks. “Home.” You answered simply, finishing shoving your change of clothes into the small pack you now slid over your shoulder.
Azriel bristled, head cocking back as he questioned “The Winter Court?” The dresser at the corner of the room suddenly became very interesting as he made no attempt to hide his concern. “Yep.” You licked your lips, tongue smoothing over the teeth marks that had made a small crater in your bottom lip, the indent making you sigh. “That’s one hell of a flight.” You tucked your knife into the sheath on your thigh, the metal making a grating sound against the studded leather that had you cringing. “It’s not like I could winnow in if I wanted to.”
It's there, then that perhaps Azriel had begun to understand your insatiable need to flee. To leave everything that you had created, the life you’d built, everything that you are. Maybe he had sensed it subconsciously when he had found you that day on the border of the Night Court.
Azriel knew why you couldn’t winnow, it had always been a silent understanding between you two, and exactly the reason he hadn’t touched on it when your training had begun all those years ago. Not that you had gone into detail about what had happened in the middle, what you went through during your journey. But with Azriel being a spymaster, it hadn’t taken him long to fill in the blanks. He knew enough, and he had decided he didn’t need to know anymore- didn’t want to.
But even after you had gotten so used to running, the instinct carved so deep into your blood not even The Mother could undo it, he still had a small pit of anxiety sitting in his stomach that never quite went away. It was out of love, out of an uncontainable fear that history would repeat itself that he swished his hand over towards you, a shadow stirring to life, swirling around your waist and anchoring itself to you.
You watched how it swam and twirled around you, scurrying up your hand and over your arm. “Really?” You had asked, a light, barely there hint of amusement twinged your tone, and he rolled his eyes in response. But when he turned to you, his expression was deadly serious, almost concerned. This man, who had cared for a scared, young Illyrian girl who had somehow crawled her way to the border. Who had taught her how to fly, how to live, how to control the magic that wanted to burst out of her as if it was overflowing. He looked up at you, lips pursed. “You might see her again, you know.” He said, barely a murmur, almost scared that the words he spoke would conjure them to life.
Your eyes flickered to him as you shoved the last dagger into your boot at your heel. “That’s the plan.”
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flemingsfreckles · 2 months
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Defending You
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Jessie Fleming x PWHL reader
Synopsis: you opponent makes comments about your relationship, causing you to get into a fight much to the dismay of your girlfriend.
Warnings: physical altercation, fighting, mentions of injury, suggestive comments but in a gross way.
WC: 1.5k
A/N: I don’t know how this idea came about, but it did.
“I cannot believe you.” Those were the first words out of your girlfriend’s mouth as you walked toward her. She was leaning up against her car, arms crossed, a serious look across her face.
“She deserved it.” You shrugged.
“I don’t care.” That’s when you realized she wasn’t joking, she was actually upset about what had happened during the game. The way she clenches her jaw as she spoke through her teeth told you everything.
“Jessie it’s not that big of a deal, fights happen in hockey, it’s part of the sport.” It was, fighting was nothing new on the rink, it wasn’t encouraged but it happened.
“I get that, still doesn’t mean I like watching you physically hurt someone, I don’t like seeing you making someone bleed.” Jessie always hated watching you fight. She didn’t want to see you hurt and didn’t like the idea of you being violent toward someone else. You also knew she was upset with you because the fight you picked today was especially aggressive.
“Hey she hit me too.” You point at the bruise that was already forming under your eye, not to mention the deep purple spot on your side from where the girl had checked you into the boards earlier in the game.
“But you hit first.” Jessie says as she pops open the trunk of the car for you to throw your backpack in.
“Well she’d been checking me all game, she hit me twice from behind.” You toss in the bag and close the hatch before turning to look at Jessie but she had already walked to the drivers side. Your opponent had gotten on your nerves for a number of reasons, the physicality was just a small part of it.
“I don’t want to hear it, get in the car.” Jessie says as she opens her own car door, shutting it harder than normal. You let your head fall back, letting out a sigh. You loved Jessie but she never quite understood fighting, whereas for you it was second nature. You knew you were in for a small lecture as to why hitting wasn’t the right choice to take out your feelings.
The two of you rode home without a word. When you walk inside Jessie heads to the kitchen mumbling something about cooking dinner while you head to your bedroom and into the shower. You had quickly rinsed off the at arena but you never feel fully clean until you showered in your own shower.
Striping down in the mirror you see the bruise on your side. It encompasses the bottom of your ribcage and extends downward even with your bellybutton. Out of curiosity you poke at it which you regret, a quiet curse coming from your lips.
You leaned over the sink, looking at your face, a small bruise just under your left eye, a small scratch on your chin, nothing too brutal, you’d had worse when you were a teenager. You had always been one to get into fights, standing up for your teammates or yourself often with your fists before your words.
Watching you get into fights was Jessie’s least favorite part of your job. She understood it was part of the game, it happened, but that didn’t make her like it less.
When you get out of the shower you throw on a pair of sweats and an old college shirt before making your way into the kitchen where Jessie was standing over the stove. You move to open the freezer, looking for an ice pack or something to put on your ribs.
“I’m making dinner, don’t eat anything.” Jessie, who is still clearly annoyed with you, snaps from the other side of the kitchen.
“I’m just getting an ice pack.” You snap back, you were in pain and your girlfriend being grumpy with you was just adding to the mood you were in.
She doesn’t say anything but you see her glance in your direction, checking on you. You weren’t one to nurse your injuries, preferring to tough them out, you seeking out ice was a means for concern. She watches as you lift your shirt trying to place the ice pack.
“Oh my god.” She abandons the meal and comes to your side. “Is that from that hit?” Her fingers with featherlight pressure graze over the outline of the bruise.
“Yeah.” You think back to the feeling of your side being slammed into the boards. You hadn’t even seen her come up to hit you. You watched the hit back, she had taken her shoulder and driven it into the center of your back causing you to fall into the boards, your equipment only doing so much to protect your side. Which now left you with the swollen and tender side you were trying to ice.
“Okay maybe fair enough you punched her. Pull your shirt up.” You listen to her, pulling your shirt up and over your head, making it easier to see the bruise without the fabric trying to fall down.
“This wasn’t even the reason I punched her.” You mumble out as Jessie adjusts the ice back into place.
“No? Then what was?” Jessie’s hand grabs yours and has you hold the ice pack as she walks away and over into the bathroom. She comes back with a rolled up compression bandage. “Arms up.” She says as she puts her own hand back on the ice and begins to unravel the bandage and begins wrapping your torso gently.
“She just was chirping me the whole game, and not the usual game stuff. This was personal stuff. It was getting on my nerves and then she started talking about you and I lost it.”
“What did she say?” Jessie pauses wrapping the bandage and looks at you, a frown on her face.
“I don’t want to repeat it Jess.” You didn’t, the girl had made gross and arrogant comments to you. It started off picking on your own playing, comments about your handling, your skating, your shooting, all of it. You chirped back, but you weren’t big on trash talking but you made similar comments.
She had put the hard check on you in the second period sending you hard into the boards. When the two of you found yourselves next to each other at the next faceoff the girl had started on a whole new topic. Your girlfriend was that new topic.
She started with mentioning how much of a better girlfriend she’d be to Jessie, how she’d treat her right, take her out, show her off. You knew you showed off Jessie enough, any more and the girl would be uncomfortable, she liked your private but not secret relationship.
The girl then commented that she was surprised Jessie hadn’t left you given that you’ve yet to score for the season. It all was making your anger grow. It wasn’t until she started saying how much better she’d treat Jessie in the bedroom that you lost your temper on the girl. No one spoke or thought about your girlfriend like that on your watch.
You were the jealous type, always had been, and you knew Jessie was yours, and you didn’t have to worry about her going anywhere. You were secure with Jessie, but the girl’s teasing had gotten under your skin. Asking what positions she looks best in, asking if she was loud. What finally sent you over the edge was when the girl told you if Jessie wasn’t loud with you, after a night with her she would be. You instantly dropped your stick and lunged at the girl.
You both lost your gloves, one hand on each other's collars keeping each other within an arm's reach. You threw first, hitting her before she quickly returned the favor. Both of you got a few more hits in before your respective captains pulled you apart and you both got sent to serve your penalties while the game continued.
When the whistle blew at the end of the third period you and the girl shared a few more harsh words, her telling you to go run, hide, and cry to your girlfriend, you told her to go fuck herself.
“It couldn’t have been that bad baby.”
You give Jessie a look, trying to tell her with her eyes that she didn’t need to know what was said. “It was bad enough, I really don’t want to repeat it Jessie. It was gross things she was saying about you. I promise you, she deserved it, trust me.”
“I trust you. I still don’t like watching you fight. I don’t need to defend my honor with your fists.”
“I know.” You breathe out as Jessie looks at your fist, some small bruising starting to show on your knuckles. “I’m sorry.”
She brings your fist up to her lips, placing kisses on each of the developing bruises while looking up at you with wide brown eyes. “No more fights over me, let them say whatever they want. You’re the one I come home to, you’re the one I love, not them.”
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drenched-in-sunlight · 3 months
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*SoTE spoilers undercut
This is a continued discussion in light of Marika's newly discovered tragedy. It changes so many things about how we look at the story thus far but more importantly - the DLC story trailer, especially this scene:
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think about how Messmer knows, very acutely, that at one point his mother could have been cut up and put in a jar. and that his other kins were not so lucky....... it gives that scene such a tragic edge.
he wasn't doing this just for the violence. this is his answer to Marika's love and all she has done for him. yeah it's not right, it's not justified, but as something done to avenge for the kind of pain she went through? it won't be logical nor right but it's something he will do again without hesitation.
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the infirmary in Shadow's Keep shows that he's trying to care for and save whatever left of her people. their people.
the line he said in his armor set description hits different when you consider all that. he wants to be the heir to all her sorrow and all of her pain. wishing that he could alleviate even just a bit of the burden of her grief and survivor guilt.
i wonder if, when Marika hid him in the Land of Shadow, fearing people will judge him for the malevolent snake he carried, she raised him in her home village? this will explain why the Tree Sentinels guarding the village drop two Blessing of Marika - the blessing that specifically stated Marika made it for Messmer's sake and him alone. it will also explain how he knew of his Mother's tragic past and took it upon himself to carry out her wish of vengeance for her people.
(also if you wanted to get to Marika's village, you have to perform the O Mother gesture before her statue in his Shadow Keep, implying he's guarding the way to her home village as well.)
One other thing I like is that in the story trailer, the heroic music sounds like it's for Miquella. and it is, in a way. it is his boss music, but the lyrics has "Ave Marika Aeterna" (Hail, Marika The Eternal).
Given that the boss arena is where Marika - the sole survivor of a whole village, walked through to salvage the remains of her people, making them the symbol of her divine ascension, I wonder if that OST is actually for her - the God, the woman whose story is finally realized in this DLC, and those female voices singing in honour of her are the spirits of her fallen kins: cheering on their last hope for justice. Through this girl, those people who had been wronged and died there will live on eternally.
All this of course seems like such a charitable take on all this, after all Marika ended up being just like the oppressors who used to put her people in jars, but I think I just want to appreciate how the environmental storytelling of this DLC is simply amazing. and once you consider that this is, in the end, Marika's story, everything will make a lot more sense.
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