#to all of my mutuals and follower: ...sorry

[sweetbans29]

Mia Bella - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: You and Caitlin meet at the dog park :)

Warnings: fluff

Word Count: 1.9k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: Here's a cute one for you - I honestly just love the thought of meeting outside of basketball and then having mutual support of one another. Ugh - I digress.

6 weeks. 6 weeks was all your summer at home consisted of before having to head back to school to start pre-season training. You play volleyball for UCLA which had you back in SoCal starting in the middle of July. Your love for playing outweighed your disgust for such a short summer but 6 weeks felt like nothing. 

Your favorite part of being home was getting to spend all the time in the world with your baby, Mia. Mia is a six-year-old, beautiful aussie who has been your best friend ever since she was a puppy. She is your favorite reason to come home for the summer. She provided the rest you needed from training while keeping you out in the sun. And this summer you were extra excited.

The city had just put in a new dog park right down the street from your house that had triple the space than any of the parks within a 10-mile radius from you. The only plan you had was to take her there daily. You knew she wasn’t going to complain about that - it was a long-standing summer tradition for the two of you.

You got home on a Friday night and first thing Saturday morning was taking Mia to the park. You grab you both water, her ball, and a blanket and put it in a bag with some snacks (some for you and some for her). You grab Mia’s leash and next thing you know you are off to the park. 

It’s a beautiful day. Mia makes a b-line to the park as your dad had been taking her since it opened. You get to the park right around 9 and find a nice place to set up your blanket. You set everything down and take Mia off her leash, she immediately gets the zoomies and you run around with her. You grab her ball and begin to play fetch.

If there is anything Mia loves more in this world than you, it is playing fetch. She would play all day if someone was willing to throw the ball to her. As you are throwing the ball with her you see another pup come and join Mia. A beautiful golden joins in with Mia - never stealing the ball but just happy to have someone to run around with. Mia drops her ball and the two dogs begin introducing themselves. The golden comes your way to get some pets and seems so excited to find another friend, even if you aren't four-legged.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see another 2-legged friend come jogging your way. You get up from the squat you were in to give the pups some love and give a little wave to the girl coming up.

"I am so sorry," she begins but you immediately wave her off.

"Please don't apologize, your pup is a sweetheart," you say as you continue to love on her pup. "What is their name?"

"Bella," the girl says. "My sweet Bella."

"It's so nice to meet you, Bella!" You say as you give her ear scratches. Your dog then goes up and looks for pets from the Bella's owner. "That is Mia," you say signaling to your baby.

Once a moment passes, you realize you haven't introduced yourself and extend your hand to do so. She shakes your hand with a smile and tells you her name is Caitlin.

"Well it is certainly a pleasure to meet you, Caitlin," you say with a smile. “I’ve caught a few of your games last season - your game is strong.” It’s her turn to smile after you give the compliment.

You invite her to sit while your pups run around. The two of you begin to get to know one another. You learn that she’s played basketball her whole life and that she had to play on the boys' team while she was in elementary. Following that - she was chosen to play for Team USA when she was in high school. As she was talking about playing, it was really neat to hear how much she loves the sport but is still able to separate her game from who she knows she is. Sitting there listening to her, it feels like she has opened a door to her soul- her genuine self. Your heart was instantly hooked.

As she kept talking, it felt like everything in the world melted away - she could talk you into circles and you would follow her anywhere. She talked about how she wanted to go to UConn but they never reached out to her. The coach never came to any of her games and the school never contacted her family. She ended up going to Iowa which meant she was close to home and her family could come and watch her play whenever. She talked about how that affected her in a way she wouldn’t have expected at the time but was for the better. You don’t know what it was but it felt like she was telling you things she hasn’t told anyone.

After she finishes talking about basketball, she starts to talk about how she was born and raised here. She talks about her two brothers and how competitive she was and still is. She talks about how there wasn’t much time for anything outside of basketball. Not that she regretted missing out on things like prom and dating.

When it was your turn, you talked about how you had a very similar background but instead of basketball, it was volleyball. You grew up playing from a young age and are now playing D1 volleyball at UCLA which is a little further from home than you hoped. You talked about how your family travels to come see you as often as they can but it never feels like enough. You talk about how you don't really know what you want to do after playing in college - you have thought about coaching but haven't figured it out yet.

Continuing, you talk about your family and how you are an only child but always wanted siblings growing up. You talk about how nice it was to go to college away but how much you missed the Midwest and look forward to coming back after you graduate. You relate to her in how time outside of sports had you missing things that felt like a right of passage but never really minded it. You were lucky to always have friends on the teams that you played on - they kept you going.

Before the two of you know, it is already mid-afternoon. Both of your pups are napping next to one another like they have known each other their whole lives.

"How long are you home for?" Caitlin asks.

"I have about 6 weeks before having to head back for training. It's not much but it is better than nothing," you say, giving a half smile to your new friend.

"Dang, that feels like nothing," she says with a little laugh. "Do you have any plans?" She asks, hoping that this is just the start of a new friendship rather than a one-and-done thing. She had shared more with you in the last few hours than she had with most people in the first month.

"The only set plan I have is to bring Mia here as much as possible," you say with a smile. "If you aren't super busy, you should join! You and Bella of course," you follow up.

"It's a date," she says giving you a smile. Your cheeks start to heat up, smiling back.

The next few weeks were some of the best you have ever had while being home for the summer. Caitlin and you had spent every day at the park, bringing your dogs of course. Some days you would both bring a book and read, others you would end up talking the whole time. It was really nice to have someone to spend time with while you were home.

Getting to know each other at the park is what brought you to her house today. As you get out of your car, you see her come around the house and wave. You give her a wave back as you grab your things. You don't know how it happened but one day at the park you brought up how her shooting from the logo and how you couldn't shoot a basketball to save your life. She promised she would teach you before the summer was over.

So here you are, about to make a fool of yourself in front of one of the best women college players and there was nothing you could do. You walk over to her and give her a little hug.

"Are you ready to learn how to shoot?" Caitlin says with excitement. Her excitement is contagious.

"As ready as I will ever be!" You say with a chuckle, Caitlin's cute when she is excited.

The two of you stretch and she goes on about how she knows you will be a natural...or so she hoped.

You always love to prove people wrong, usually, it is those who are telling you that you can't do something. This time around, you wish you could prove her right because it was quite embarrassing.

"Well that was terrible," she says with a laugh. Both of you are lying on the ground in her home gym as you have just spent the last two hours trying to do anything that resembled basketball.

"I feel like that doesn't do justice to what I am capable of athletically. If you really want to see what I can do, you would come to one of my games," you say with a laugh.

"I would love to see you play," she says, turning her head to look at you. "Maybe someday we can make that happen."

Looking back at her you reply, "I would love that Cait."

"Then I'll come watch you play," you say with a smile. She smiles in response and scoots a little closer.

"Can I tell you something?" She asks. You nod, turning to face her. The ground wasn't the most comfortable thing, but you wanted to provide her your full attention.

"I am really glad our dogs met that day in the park," she begins, not really making eye contact with you. "I wasn't super excited about coming home for the summer but meeting and getting to know you has changed that. I am really glad we met. talking to you and laughing with you has brought me joy and I want to continue talking even when you go back to California. I don't want to not talk to you...or see you because well, I like you. I like you a lot. And I don't really know what to do with how much I like you because this is all new to me and..." You grab her hand and give it a squeeze. She finally looks up at you.

Her hand comes up to your face, her fingers brushing against your cheek. Her eyes look at your lips as she begins to lean in.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," she says just above a whisper, as her face inches closer to yours. You shake your head no as you close your eyes, waiting to feel her lips.

The kiss is simple. It is slow, just getting to know what the other feels like. Once she breaks away, you place your forehead against hers.

"I like you too," you say with a smile.

AN: Finally a shorter one, we are working on it. I hope you enjoyed it! And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

[synthetickitsune]

omg i woke up and saw your post about requests and came running!! you alr know i need all the angst in my life so can i please req dk + come back to me if he hurts you” 🥺🫶🏻

thx for helping me realize i write mostly angst for sunshine boy and continuing the tradition 🫶🏻 akjddsk

DK (SVT) | “Come back to me if he hurts you.” angst | 0.7k | gn!reader

He stares at you, processing. It feels - well, there’s no way to put how it feels. His chest is hollow. He has no parallel to draw, so he just… stares.

The information shouldn’t come as a surprise. He’s heard through the grapevine that you began dating again. Honestly, should he even care? He does. But should he? Does he have any right to care? The split was amicable, mutual. Friendly even. You’re friends still. You seem happy. He’s genuinely happy that you are happy, so why…

“Seok? Are you alright?” your panicked voice and slowly approaching hand make him wake up and flinch away. He feels his face soften from whatever grimace he was making upon seeing your hurt expression.

“Sorry, yeah,” he clears his throat, “I’m alright. Uh, so things are good, yeah?”

He tries hard to ignore your face morphing into a mask of indifference.

“Yeah, things are good,” you repeat.

The silence that follows is awkward and stretches on. He wants to break it but he has no idea how.

“This was a mistake, wasn’t it?” you laugh, but it sounds empty as you hide your face in your hands, “I don’t know why I told you.”

“Hey,” he protests way too quickly and his hand immediately shoots to your shoulder, and he pulls it back just as quickly. You turn towards him and frown. It’s unusual to see him so serious. “I want you to tell me. You’re my friend.”

Your smile is sad. He hates it.

“We’re more than that, Min,” you sigh. It’s quiet again and he’s just as helpless.

“I guess I want to tell you everything - would that be cruel?” you meet his eyes again, but all he sees is the anxious way you fidget with a loose thread on your pants, “I guess I just want to know if you think we’ll work out. You’re the one who’d be the best judge of that.”

“I’m the worst one to be the judge of that,” he corrects you, his voice slipping into his comedic persona easily, “Seeing how things turned out.”

You do laugh and some of the unpleasant feelings lift off his shoulders. He doesn’t know what would be the best or most appropriate thing to say next. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to feel. All he knows is he has to start talking or this will be very pathetic very soon.

“I’m really happy for you, sorry,” he smiles, blinking away some of the moisture in his eyes, “I don’t know why this-” he motions vaguely to his face, “Happened.”

You chuckle, but looking at you, your eyes are wet too. 

“I get it,” you nod, “I’m so scared it’ll end wrong again.”

He sighs. As if he didn’t know the feeling intimately well. 

“Did-” he stops himself before he can finish, thinking better of it, but you push for it anyway. “Did I do something? Something so bad it makes you afraid now?”

“Oh god, Min, no,” you rush to reassure him and end up grabbing his hand in both of yours. You bite your lit. This isn’t exactly how you expected the talk to go. “If anything you loved me too well. So I’m afraid I won’t feel love like that again. Or that I’ll fuck up and lose it.”

“You couldn’t ever fuck up like that,” he laughs - the idea alone is so ridiculous, “Because you’re the kind of person nobody would want to lose.”

You shake your head, leaning into him with a laugh. He’s warm against your side. It feels comfortable. Comfortable like it used to feel even before you dated, like it did when you were together too. You missed being this comfortable with Seokmin after the breakup. 

Things change, but maybe they don’t need to be all that different. You have too much history to let go. And all of it is good - as much as humanly possible.

“Come back to me if he hurts you,” he outstretches his pinky to you. You huff, but there’s a wobbly grin on your face anyway when you promise with your own.

“You got it, Min.”

[quinnigallagherjones]

who are your 5 favourite blogs? (or 5 favourite people on tumblr)

oh my god only five ?? 😭 (i just wanna start by saying i love ALL my mutuals so so much and i am so thankful for ALL of you 🩷🩷) there are so many crazy talented people who i follow so please check out everyone on this list !!

@bossuets

@benoitblanc

@userastarion

@darlingboydiaz

@inourtownofhawkins

honorable mentions: @eddie-kaspjack @chronicowboy @danielsousa @keikomiura @leviiackrman @billhaders @hazardsoflove @zainmalik @miwtual @digenova @rey-finn @maygrantgf @luthientinuvielss @malkinse @nandermoenthusiast @lonelydncers @vinmauro @joekeerys @sunsetcurveauto @rii-chann @hyacinth--girl @daisyjohnsn @ncutii-gatwa @eohwyyn @waddinghamhannah @cardvngreenbriar @swkywalker @kahhorri @emmaswcns @redfive--standingby @allidoistry (if i have missed people, i am so sorry and just know ilysm !!!)

[alaskacoolkid1]

100 FOLLOWERS OMG TYSM!!!!!

Feel free to redraw this in your style if ya want

Okay time for the mushy appreciation stuff

I've always had a big dream of like- being popular online, I started with youtube and somehow ended up here, posting art on tumblr. It makes me happy beyond worlds that 100 people looked at me sharing my interests and went "That's the shit I'm into" lol.

Thank you to all of the mutuals I've made along the way too!!! (Sorry if you didn't wanna be tagged)

@weepingmilkshakedreamer @lemon-dafne @comfy-pink-666 @whereismyhat5678 @thatsparadise @noisettesgfandwifenojoke @pizzatowet13 @random-obsseser @luigigirl12 @auntie-charmallow @keylimepizzapie @ijusthavefun @saltplane @squ1dd @the-little-knight @i-ate-ur-highlighters-lmao @yennyr-weird-56 @izzy-the-chaotic-gremlin @0regano-mirage @arrowfox1 @fluffygiraffe @lunasilverpelt @mrfellsans @boomsnore @noodletime @zedortoo @goblins-and-pizzas @stuffythegal @parappaadventure2 @potterofanlol @gastersbabe @rayna05 @umjammertangy @sleepyboozzz @cowcat-with-a-hat @allisonanjel @benatars-slut @dayloid @parappasbeanie @fuckitandallthatjazz @roobjoshi

Thank you so much to all of you! I might not talk to all of you, or I might of only met you recently, but I have so much appreciation for all of you

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for 100 followers <3

[elizakai]

yk i just want to say, sometimes i’m pretty bad at reaching out/being prompt/keeping up on things/responding to messages

(really. really bad at that last one sometimes)

so to all of my mutuals uhhh (i’m so sorry)

i super love and appreciate you guys, i haven’t forgotten any of you </3 you’re all super cool and great and i hope to be able to interact with you more in the future :,)💕

almost everyone i interact with here, mooties, followers, honorary mooties who communicate back and forth with likes and reblogs, and even anons…all are super sweet and beautiful actually and i think you’re all pretty swag and cool and deserve to be appreciated 🌸💫🫂

[mybworlds]

Chapter 2

Paring: Joel x F!Reader (NO Y/N)

Warnings: pre!outbreak and post!outbreak, AU (there will be some characters, Joel's backstory is different), no Sarah, no Ellie (maybe!), a lot of flashback (at least in the first chapters!), age gap (reader is approx. 10 yrs younger than Joel), slow burn, mutual pining, angst, SMUT, unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (m and f), fingering, masturbation (m and f), language, attempted SA, trauma, death and violence.

Rating: M

Masterlist

Word count: 3.6k

Summary: You work in the Millers' company, you are their friend, you have a job you love, your coworkers esteem and love you. Your life is perfect. Suddenly, one day, you wake up in the hospital, you are alone surrounded by silence and strange noises, your door is barricaded, but what happened? And what happened to the world out there?

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Thanks @saradika for the divider and the banner. Thanks @vase-of-lilies for the banner.

JANUARY 2014

You suddenly wake up and turn toward him, toward Joel, facing a man you remember so different from the way he's now, he gives his back to you, you observe him intent on putting something in a backpack, you don't know what exactly it is, it's all still so confusing. You turn in a supine position and look up at the windows, it's almost dark and it's raining. The only light comes from the street, it is dim and flickers.

You observe the apartment for what you can and notice the flaking paint off the walls, the broken appliances, some of the tiles torn off, you remember that as soon as you stepped foot in this place, you fainted and the last thing you remember was Joel's strong arms grabbing you preventing you from hitting your head.

You really struggle to reconcile your memories with what you see today, coming here you walked at a brisk pace and Joel insisted over and over again to avoid the main roads because controlled by FEDRA, but more than anything you struggle to reconcile the memory you had about Joel with the man you are standing next to today.

"Hey," Joel says noticing that you are awake, you see him leave what he was doing and approach you, you furrow your brow as you look at him, he strokes your forehead, and you, in an almost unconscious gesture, close your eyes "I was scared to death when you fell into my arms," he adds, you open your eyes again and look at him. His brown eyes are still the same, but something in his expression is changed.

"What happened? What…? I'm so confused…" you say letting a moan escape your lips and closing your eyes, you touch your head and feel it getting bandaged, he takes your hand and squeezes it between his, you look into his eyes feeling a weird feeling. It's not fear, it's something you can't even quite define, you sigh and find yourself swallowing without stopping looking into his eyes.

You can't remember much, everything's hazy.

"I can only imagine how ya might feel right now," he tells you and you find yourself nodding, "however, ya have to trust me, what I tell ya, okay?" he adds.

You hesitate about your answer, you just look at him for a long time in his eyes, in those eyes that…

"I'm sorry," you say as you sit up, but your head hurts so much, "but I don't … I don't know…"

"Wait, ya need to stay down," he says placing a hand behind the back of your head and making you lean your head back against the pillow "I get ya a painkiller," he adds moving away from you for a moment, you see him crouched in front of what you imagine is his backpack and you see him intent on digging and pulling out a packet of painkillers "here it is," he says opening the packet and rolling a pill into the palm of his hand "take it," you look first at the tube and then at him, his eyes, "trust me."

"Trust me." this word run through your head like a distant echo of something already lived and that's what it gives you the confidence to open your mouth and take the pill, then with one hand he holds your head up and helps you drink some water from a bottle, "Trust me."

You lie there until you feel light-headed again, "What happened?" you ask him as you open and close your eyes, you hear your voice almost muffled to your own ears, you feel his hand squeeze yours tightly, they're so warm, so big, "I don't know exactly when or where it all started, but since that day everyone's life has gone downhill. Some say it was a fungus taking over the host, some say it's a virus created in a lab, some think it's a parasite found in some foods. In any case, many, millions of people from what I know turned into things they call runners, some call 'em clickers, some call 'em in different ways depending on the stage of infection. Don't know, but what matters is that a bite is fatal 'cause ya become one of 'em." you swallow, widening your eyes, Joel squeezes your hand just a little tighter "I know 's overwhealming." you nod looking at his face, he caresses you "want ya to know that as long as I'm around, I won't let anyone hurt ya."

You nod, "But will there be a cure? A vaccine that can be created, right?"

He looks up from your face to the window behind you, his eyes are sad "Scientists, doctors all over the world have already tried, but nothing seems to stop this."

A great eerie dread makes its way through you, you're afraid, you're cold, "Joel," you reach for his hand in the dark, he immediately grasps your hand turning his gaze toward you "is this your home?"

"No, my home was on the other side of town, too far from the hospital. I wanted to be there when..." he says, but then stops abruptly.

Your head gets lighter and lighter "Mhm, mhm," you mumble "Joel?" you say "Talk to me some more." you add, closing your eyes.

"'bout what?" he asks, you feel him so close, you can't open your eyes, you're so tired.

"What did we do before the hospital? We worked together, right?" he caresses your head, it's such a sweet gesture, so intimate in a way.

"Yes, we were a good team, and you were the most dogged and capable worker of all. You, Tommy and I were friends as well as colleagues..."

JANUARY 2012

"Please," Joel says holding the door open for you, you smile at him lowering your gaze for a moment and then look up to the venue, it's a very nice, refined, cozy place.

"It's a beautiful place," you say when he moves a chair to let you seat, you smile looking first at the warm colors of the venue and then you dwell on the beautiful man in front of you who finally invited you out, you are so excited that you are afraid to say or do something wrong that might ruin everything, he smiles at you and seems just as nervous as you. It's so different Joel away from work, the worker Joel is precise, even rigid and prickly at times; while the man in front of you is shy, sweet, actually he always has been with you, aided by the fact that you work well - those are not your words, but everyone starting with Katherine and your four department colleagues, and then including the executive and monitoring team and finally Joel and Tommy themselves apart from your mutual liking and affection.

Joel taps his fingers on the table, he should order something to drink, but he is too focused on watching how you arrange your hair on your shoulders, how you curl a strand of hair around one of your fingers, how you smile as you lower your gaze, he finds it so tender and sexy that he has to pull himself together, he always found you sweet and delicate, precise and decisive, strong and resolute, a fatal mix in his eyes. He has always found you beautiful since the first time he saw you in that alley, eyes full of fear, fearful of him and Tommy, and today inviting you was an achievement in his eyes.

"I'm glad ya accepted my invitation," he says, looking at you stealthily.

"If the boss calls!" you joke with a shy smile lighting up your eyes, and when that happens, Joel can't help but smile too.

"was hoping ya'd say ya were pleased to receive a friend's invitation, I mean…we met before work, right?" you nod nervously bringing your hands to the table "If it bothers ya…"

"Oh no, no, no." you interrupt him by settling better in your chair "Forgive me, I didn't mean to snap or be rude, it's just…"

"Afraid that someone from work might see us together? If there's a problem," he says interrupting you "Tell me and I'll set him straight." he adds, you know he would be capable of it, Joel would really do anything for the people he cares or loves. You smile shaking your head, "My door 's always open for ya, remember." he adds again taking your hand in his "Don't get me wrong, it's just that... I love ya and I want ya to be able to work as peacefully as possible and feel as comfortable as possible." you can't help but look at your joined hands, your hand clasped in his, at how big, warm and enveloping is, at how this gesture is so intimate and familiar.

Joel's heart beats fast in his chest, he takes great pleasure in seeing that you did not avoid his touch, that you are not bothered or said words full of annoyance.

"I love you too, Miller."

JANUARY 2014

"I don't remember," you tell him in a light voice, almost as if you were speaking to him in a dream. You feel his hands wrapping around yours, "Don't worry, it'll take time, but ya will remember," he says trying to soothe you about this your confusion.

"Do you know how I feel?" you say again, "Like I'm surrounded by thick clouds of fog, what you've told me is like I've lived it in a dream. I wish I could remember everything you are telling me, but..." he nods lowering his head, then he looks up again and kisses your forehead in a gentle gesture, you instinctively close your eyes savoring his soft lips on your forehead tickled at the same time by his beard.

"Ssshh, don't worry," he says still smiling at you weakly "If necessary, I'll tell ya everything since we met, ya don't have to worry about that."

"Joel..." you whisper "when, I had the accident? Was it before everything," you say looking around, "ended?"

"Happened on the second day, all of Seattle went crazy, stores besieged, pharmacies, people were out of control." he pauses squeezing your hand tighter between his "It was the end of the world, the cancer that hit us was spreading like wildfire, everywhere. Children, women, men, the elderly, no one could escape it." he adds.

"And how did we survive?" you ask again, your head getting lighter and lighter.

"It was ya, from the moment ya heard about these fevers and mysterious attacks, ya started stocking up on canned food, protein bars, water, medicine, anything that could be useful for survival. Ya immediately informed Tommy and me, but also other colleagues of yours. Only Tommy and I listened to ya though, the others thought ya were being influenced by the news from TV." he concludes "Now no more questions, rest. Let's continue later."

"Promise?" you ask, by now your voice a pale echo.

"Promise. Trust me." he says, caressing your head once more.

"Trust me..." you repeat and then give in to the drug-induced sleep.

Suddenly you wake up when you hear gunshots, "Joel!" you're in complete darkness, you feel your heart in your throat "Joel!" you cry out frightened and getting up suddenly, Joel reaches you "Hey, hey, hey," he takes you in his arms hugging you "ssh, quiet, baby, I'm here!" you hide your face in the crook of his neck, his hand in your hair "ssh, ssh, ssh, it's okay, I'm here, I'm here." he smoothly repeats, as outside the gunfire continues, you cling to him throwing your arms around his neck, shaking.

You hear inhuman screams and gasps, those same gasps you heard in the hospital, followed by gunshots and more human screams. "I don't understand…" you are going to say, but he shushes you again by holding you to him, you close your eyes feeling your heart beating hard in your chest "please take me away, I don't want to be here," you whisper in his ear.

"That was the plan," he also whispers in your ear "I was coming to you to get ya, everything was ready. I had even packed my backpacks," you feel his hand tighten just a little more in your hair "then Tommy called…"

"Tommy…" you repeat his name "He's… your brother, right?" you ask, pulling away from him by loosening your grip.

"Yes, the two of you were-- you are very close." he tells you "That morning, he was in a bar and I don't know what he was doing there, but the fact is that he got into a fight with a couple of drunks, or so he said. You as soon as ya heard that he was in danger, you rushed over."

"What about you? Were you with him? I called you, what happened?" you ask looking into his eyes for what is possible.

Joel caresses your cheek in a distracted gesture "No, but you told me on the phone what happened to my brother and I reached ya right away. Tommy was fighting with such fury, I'd never seen him like that…I didn't think twice about…" he swallows "killing that person, that one was growling, making non-human sounds." he looks you in the eye "It was hell in the city, people running, people screaming, people storming stores, violence. We were no longer us, none of us were anymore." he concludes.

You turn your head the other way to the window from which the screams came, now there is only the pelting rain and a few flashes of lightning lighting up the sky. Whatever happened, it's over. Joel follows you a half-step away "Don't look out the window, it's dangerous," you look at him or, rather, half-turn toward him "people, those who survived, are like crazy. Everyone is trying to survive as best they can," he adds again.

You have a headache again, but you do your best to push away that throbbing pain "And why didn't you leave? I mean, I could never wake up and you could have abandoned me in that hospital with those... those things and go away, why didn't you go away?"

He reaches out to you taking your head in his hands, "I could never, never leave ya. I came every day, I'm the one who at one point, when I saw that you were starting to wake up, I unplugged all the monitors because you were showing all the signs of healing. Before to do that, I did the crazy thing of documenting myself in the library. I couldn't leave you there, I would never allow that."

"But why?" you insist again.

"Because -- because we're friends, you and I, even though you don't remember."

You find yourself blinking, "How did I end up in the hospital? Was it in that bar you were telling me about?"

You can't see his expression clearly given the almost total darkness surrounding you, "There was a widespread confusion, inside that bar, outside, people were running, some people started showing signs of infection and attacking others, then there were pile-ups and a car smashed through the glazing of that place, you were ahead of us and it hit ya."

You lower your head, close your eyes, and for a few moments you feel pain, screaming, your light-headed, someone calling you repeatedly, someone shouting to take you to the emergency room right away, then it all fades.

"How long was I in that state?" you ask in a whisper.

"Almost four months." he replies "You were lucky, you broke your legs plus various bruises," he adds, caressing your head.

You step back and go back to sit on the couch, taking your head in your hands, "Tommy, why isn't he with you? You-- you said the three of us were friends, but then where is he?"

He sits next to you barely making the couch squeak, "We took ya to the hospital together, there they told us they would take care of you and for a while we stayed with ya, then the contagion spread there too. Tommy and I got separated there in the ER, he just yelled to me that he would do anything to join Maria in Jackson."

"Maria? Jackson?" you ask confused "Who is Maria? His, uh, wife? His fiancée? Do I know her?"

"No, no, he met her outside of work, I don't know if he ever introduced her to you. I don't know her. Let's just say I was very strict with him from that point of view," Joel replied, sighing loudly.

"He loved having good time, I guess," you state.

"Nice guess, baby." says Joel turning to you and gently stroking the back of your head "How's your head, rather? Do you still have pain?"

"No, pain no, but I feel slightly nauseous." you answer.

Joel stands up, "Listen, under normal circumstances, I'd take ya to a doctor. Chances are you weren't ready for everything you've already done or listened." he tells you "You hungry?" he gets up and takes a jar from his backpack "We could eat one of these Van Camp's Pork and Beans, what d' ya think?" you nod "For two? " you nod again, at that moment a first loud clap of thunder echoes along the city streets and in that dingy apartment, you and Joel find yourself silently eating from those tin cans, every now and then he glances your way perhaps to make sure you are all right and have no meltdowns of any kind. When you finish eating, Joel takes the tin cans and leaves them on a shelf in the kitchen, walks you to the bathroom door fearing you might fall or get dizzy; he leaves you a small flashlight advising you not to point at the window for any reason and then closes the door behind him giving you some privacy.

You almost feel like you're in a blender, all these events of the past and present swirling almost meaninglessly in your head, you have a lot of confusion: you, Joel and Tommy were friends, according to him, Tommy left, Joel stayed. Why did he stay? Joel did not answer your question yet. Also, Joel said the three of you worked together, but what did you do? Were you an engineer, an architect, a factory worker, a doctor, an astronaut, who were you?

FEBRUARY 2012

"I'm saying this for you, there's something between Charlotte and Joel!" Jane says again while the two of you are waiting for the bus "Think about it, Charlotte was very nervous last month after talking to Joel and he, who's not funny at all, treats her badly, but the worse he treats her the more she seeks him out!"

"I don't understand your reasoning, if a person treats another badly then it's not love!" you insist.

"Forget 'bout love, but what if just it's sex?" she continues, you feel a painful grip, luckily the bus arrives at that moment and you can hide your tears and that sense of inadequacy and inferiority that is making its way inside of you "Sorry, but I don't want you to get hurt. I'm glad I realized who Tommy was, a guy who likes to have good time! Unfortunately, I think it's a Millers characteristic..." by now you don't listen to her anymore, you can't nor you want to believe that the sweet and shy man you dated three weeks ago at the same time is dating someone else, no, you don't want to believe it, what you always believed you can well read are Joel's eyes, his words and actions may lie, but not his eyes. His eyes inspired and inspire you trust and affection, you can't believe he can pretend like that.

Your stop is only a few blocks away, you get off the bus and head towards the company building, you swipe your pass to get into the elevator and get on, Jane apologizes for being so direct with you, but you just tell her a don't worry, it's okay, but the your tone of voice is distant, she understands because she doesn't insist. When the doors open, Charlotte is the first person you see, and she is glowing that morning, handing you a coffee, and you don't know if Jane's words made you paranoid, but the fact is that the way she speaks and what she says seems to you an obvious allusion to you, to Joel, to Tommy, to your friendship. You try not to show yourself piqued by his tone and words, you don't want to have a case of hysteria and run to Joel to ask him if it is true that he dates Charlotte off of work, rather you focus on work and put all your thoughts on hold. On the other hand, you and Joel are just friends, he can see whoever he wants, it's you who have a big crush on him.

"Everyone's attention, please," Katherine says after almost five hours of hard work, "these are Kyle and Arnold, from now on they are part of the team, so I invite you to make 'em feel welcome right away, if you need anything," she says turning to the two men, "ask me or her," she says pointing at you and immediately mentioning your name, the two men look at you and you can't help but feel flattered and at the same time a little embarrassed, then Katherine invites them to settle at their desks and later she will explain to them the work they will have to do.

Kyle is a young man in his late thirties, he has blond hair, bright eyes, lean body, and a very simple look. Arnold is in his early forties, he's bald, brown eyes and a hint of a mustache and beard, broad shoulders and a athletic build. They all greet you with a handshake and a big smile. Well, that's the best way to start working together!

The day thankfully spends pleasantly and all of you spend your break together, you find out that your two new colleagues are very nice and friendly, Kyle is from Texas like the Millers - and that's a point to his favor - Arnold is from New York and told you many stories from his youth in the Big Apple, stories that made you laugh out loud, when you turn to the elevator, you see Joel who pretends to look at some papers he had in his hands and presses the elevator button and leaves.

JANUARY 2014

Joel doesn't know exactly why he remembered that very day when the two new interns arrived, perhaps he remembered about of your sweet smile and your loud laugh that made him smile and brighted his days in such a dark time when there is no reason to be cheerful.

He doesn't want to be intrusive, but he is genuinely concerned about you, maybe he should have been less direct about what is happening to all humankind, maybe you need a little more time, although time is precious in this reality and it may be short.

You open the door, your head and eyes down and your flashlight pointed at the cracked tiles, then you look up, "Tomorrow, if you want we can go, anywhere you want."

Joel finds himself nodding and smiling at you "I'll keep you safe, I promise. Trust me."

[bigsillyyy]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. Get to know your mutuals and followers ^^

(That was just copied text but !! No pressure to answer or anything obviously just hope you're having a good day !!)

COSMOG SENT ME A ASK HOLY AHAFZJGDIWGAT G RGGGRRRGRAHAGAAGHH/POS/SILLY/YAYYYY

NUMBA ONE !!! mmm yes robots its always the robots, no matter if its regretevator, FNaF, Undertale, its always the robots.

NUMBA TWO !! Drawing drawing. Alalalalla lots of little guys in my tablet !! >_<

NUMBA TREE !! HAVE YOU SEEN EVERYONES COOL ART ON THE INTERNET !! HOLY GUACOMOLE I WOULDVE NEVER EVA KNOWN PURPLE, YELLOW, AND CYAN WORK SO WELL !!!! LOVE YOU PEOPLE IN MY TABLET !!!!!!

NUMBA FOUR !!! i really like lip smackers (or chapstick) cause i can make that loud BOOM pop sound and hgrrgghhaaghhh

NUMBA FIVE !!!!!!!! ooh yay im gonna bash all my cool things in here.. KIRBY, PJSK, REGRETEVATOR, FNaF, SANRIO, TADC, PHIGHTING, SAILOR MOON, DEMOK SLAYER, SPACE O MY GOLY OG GOSH STARS ARE SOO PRETTYYAAAYYYY !!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the ask cool kid continute your cool kid things !!!!!!!!!!

Quick doodle !!!

I currently cant check notifications (old device) so so s,,so im gonna just,,,

@clownpalette @witherfide @ihearnocomplaints @tinyfairart @cavefairy @niqhtmeep @bittersweetburnedcaramel @eepsy @crystalmagpie447 @silly-beast-deactivated20231114 @ghosteii @llamacakeyummy @sleepyjuniper @g4ums @inspired-aspiring-artist @starlyte-starbryte @ink-yy @linafoxoficial @get-total-eclipsed @gris19 @stxrichi @resident-snoozer @mubbsy @duhsty1 @halfasleep-mongoose @lizyxml @sillymoonboi @ambiguouspudding @3amclothesmonster @i-ams-moth @theothergueck @themostsanebug @awakentrashpanda @starrytheclown @therealhobo @sun-e-chips @boxiidragonx @solardewberries @sparkly-sunshine @michii-chan @r0tt1ng-bunn1ez @kittysimp-daycareauart @exoethereal-exe @sproutshrub @liostims @g6ums @valaont

I know you all smart but im. Paranoid !! Dont put anything that can personally identify yoi !!!!! (Sorry)

[apollos-olives]

Just saw that you're leaving this blog, I'm sorry to hear that and wanted to clarify that you are not abandoning it completely, correct?

I like a lot of what you've posted and am sad to hear that it's more of a hinderance (totally understandable considering what happened before your post to leave) than a benefit to your health/well being.

anyway, I just wanted to say that I appreciate your perspective (on a lot different things not just Palestine) and also thank you for all that you have done to raise awareness and broadcast more Palestinian voices. I hope you continue to work hard at your journalism post (forgive me I can't remember if it is a job or class) and are able to kick butt in general!

Again, thank you for all that you do, have done, and continue to do!

i am not abandoning this blog. i am turning this blog into a palestine/social justice and awareness blog instead. this was originally my personal blog, but after what happened with.. everything.... i have decided to transform this blog and keep my personal stuff away from here. this means that i will no longer be posting personal things about my life on this blog. no more life updates, no more pictures, no more stories. i will instead put that on my personal blog that is only available for mutuals to follow. until tumblr and it's userbase learns to behave and treat palestinians like human beings, i will not be putting myself in a vulnerable position on this blog by sharing things about myself for the foreseeable future. this also means that i will stop responding to anons and asks unless they relate directly to sharing knowledge and information about palestine and other social justice issues.

thank you for your kind words.

[burntblueberrywaffles]

[electric-rabbits]

So, that fucking poster, hm?

[figsandphiltatos]

okay i've started watching fantasy high: junior year and it's . So Good so far. but i just have to take a moment to gush about how exciting riz is as aro rep???

like this is junior year, all his friends are applying to colleges, and he wants to make sure they stick together. i really hope they develop this further (and i'm kinda sure they will, given the way they've handled riz's romantic orientation in seasons past) but already this is leagues above any aro rep i've ever seen?? like yeah, a really common fear for aro folks is that their friends will get into relationships and move on.

amatonormativity kind of demands that people prioritize romantic relationships, and also sets getting married as an actual step someone has to take to fully grow up. and, ofc, once people are married it's the expectation that they spend most of their time with their partner. and i've had aro friends who have said that this societal expectation is so upsetting and anxiety inducing, because it essentially means that eventually they'll be left behind by friends as they get married and move onto the next arbitrary developmental stage of life. and the fact that riz is already grappling with that fear makes him feel so fucking real. he's not just a guy who happens to be aro, his aromanticism affects his fears and priorities, etc.

which is so real!! being aro and/or ace absolutely separates you from some huge societal assumptions many people take for granted and it feels refreshing to see people approach an aro character with that understanding

[what-do-bunyips-look-like]

This crab day thing has gotten so frustrating so fast. The person who suggested it is an anti-abortion anti-feminist right wing christian transphobe. Many of the people spreading additional posts and info are ALSO anti-abortion right wing christian transphobes. Seriously. Start clicking their blogs when you see these posts. Search "abortion" and "feminism" and "trans" and "gender" and "groomer." This is really easy to confirm. But people don't give a shit because "crabs fun." okay.

And its not like people aren't aware of it at this point. Search "crab day" on tumblr and a good chunk of the results are asks saying "hey btw crab day was started by a transphobe/right wing christian." and most of those people have responded with something along the lines of "Um okay but like its a good idea though??? You guys can't even collaborate with conservatives for like a second to achieve a political goal? UGH this is why nothing ever gets done 🙄." or "Um okay but like that post had nothing to do with their political beliefs. so like its fine lol. Crab fun." Or "oh no omg im so sorry thats so gross i deleted the post but im still gonna keep reblogging all the other posts by the conservative transphobic anti abortion right wing christians whos blogs i wont check because we need to save tumblr!!!!"

Let me make this really fucking clear for those who don't get it: it doesn't matter if the post is not about their political beliefs. You and all your mutuals are reblogging them. You are making it easier for them to network and find each other. You are bringing them new followers, a bigger audience, a bigger platform and a bigger pool of people who will spread their oh so relatable non-political posts. Which will bring in more followers. And some of those new followers are going to be young dumbasses who are going to see all their posts about "groomers" and "mutilation" and the evils of porn and the horrors of abortion and how feminism actually harms women and do i need to tell you how that story ends?

You are showing that "crab fun" is way more important to you than the safety of trans tumblr users. You are giving them a bigger platform and a wider net with which to potentially harm trans people. By saying that you're not going to let their political beliefs ruin your fun, you're making it very clear that trans people are less important than your fun. And you're making it VERY fucking clear that you'd RATHER tumblr become a safe and welcoming place for anti-feminist anti-abortion right wing transphobes than give up fun crab.

You are showing that your need to throw money at a corporation is more important to you than trans tumblr users. I get where you are coming from. I do. You want tumblr to keep existing. I want tumblr to keep existing. I also want the other trans people who use this fucking platform to keep existing because frankly, they are the only reason i'm here. and if they aren't safe here and if you will throw us away just to keep tumblr shambling along a little longer then I have no fucking interest in tumblr.

"Okay but we need to save tumblr uwu!!!!" Look I'm just some dumbass and I don't know shit (and to be PERFECTLY honest, so are you), but I think this is a little more complicated than "if we raise enough money we can save the school/family farm/community centre/(insert cozy heartwarming thing that needs to be saved)!" As other smarter people have said, tumblr is operating at a yearly $30 million deficit. Thats $30 million just to break even. For one year. not become profitable. Its not a bail them out once and its all good forever situation. Tumblr is not a small message board run by volunteers who actually use donations to stay afloat. They are not a non-profit. They are not running a pledge drive. Throwing money at a corporation does not a nonprofit make. It makes you a consumer.

Your response to "tumblr making bad changes" is "give them money for making the bad changes to show that we don't like bad changes!! A reverse boycott'll show 'em!!" You sure about that??? (And some of you are calling this """""unionizing?"""" Put that word back on the shelf.) You don't know what you're doing and you're not listening to the smarter people who have tried to explain it to you. And once again, you're showing that this half baked scheme is more important to you than trans tumblr users. because crab fun.

And @everyone whos clambering over each other to "collaborate with conservatives for a good cause," we already fucking know that you love to do this shit. You are the same people who will say "yeah but theres bad people on both sides!!!" and who wont give up your Harry Potter or your Chick-Fil-A. You will throw us under the bus the SECOND it gets you something you want. Even something as stupid and small as pickle brine or a shitty videogame or fucking "crab day." And guess what. The second all your "shared goals" are accomplished and the conservatives get what they want FROM YOU??? You're going straight under that bus too.

And also, isn't it maybe a little hmmmm. SUSPICIOUS that CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS want to throw money at the site that we've been bitching and screaming at for how unfairly it censors any display of queer sexuality????? They don't have the same problems with tumblr that you do. You think that collaborating with THEM is gonna stop that? Gonna get the porn ban reversed? Gonna turn tumblr into a co-op? Gonna "unionize this bitch?" Hello????

If you must. MUST participate in this because crab oh so fun and tumblr is oh so in need of saving then for the LOVE of FUCK make your OWN POST and STOP PLATFORMING THESE PEOPLE. i don't want to hear "Oh but its a good idea it doesn't matter if a bad person came up with it separate art from the artist lol" if you're not MAKING AN ACTUAL EFFORT TO EXCLUDE THEM FROM THIS. BLOCK THEM. CHECK THEIR BLOGS. BLACKLIST THEIR URLS. ITS EASY.

and then maybe go give your $3 to an actual non-profit. or to an actual leftist independent organization. Or wikipedia. Or inaturalist. Or to one of the many hyperspecific message boards out there who are struggling along on donations from like 5 people. Or maybe, maybe, give your fucking $3 to an abortion fund or to a trans person's go fund me so they can buy food. Or to a womens shelter or a fucking homeless person or to any of the other people who anti-abotion anti-feminist right wing christian transphobes want to stop existing.

My partner is afraid to leave the house alone because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. People are getting their HRT ripped away from them because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. People are being forced to give birth because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. Every day I'm ready to get the news that the state my partner is in is no longer safe and we have to figure out an escape plan. These people do REAL HARM in the REAL WORLD and their beliefs are, tbh, way more fucking insidious and mainstream and tolerated than those of TERFs.

But fun crabs are more important. okay.

[kelpermoosee]

BEARS ARE EXTINCT IN FNAF???

[humblemediagenius]

The need to share my OCs with everyone vs the fear that people won't be FUCKING NORMAL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

[lemonpie45]

When your batshitcrazyass became friends with someone who is genuinely amazing and kind and funny and their art makes you so happy that it makes you want to evolve your art and it makes you proud of yourself when they are proud of you and their art is so amazing and even if they don't make art you still care for them and hope they have the best time everytime all the time and you wish whatever horrible shit they have that they can be strong and take care of themselves and hope they get enough rest for themselves and if they want to vent to someone you are always open and ready to listen even though you are sick and tired of being the therapist friend but the thought of hearing or seeing someone sad makes you wanna cry and now you and that person r frens even though you have 0 social skills

(psst, yeah I'm talking about you guys in no particular order whatsoever @kindercelery @yourhappyfella @clownpallete @carol-the-clown @therollypollyrolli @theindescribable1 @the-monsters-in-1870 @jacenotjason @fizzycereal @homobrainjuice @akalikestodraw @galaxy-brushs-posts @sora-the-air-wubbox @therealbamdyhere

@justmwahstruly @mack-timelines @messyeart @biblicallyaccuratefour @maxphilippa @kennethmoop

@that0negvy @incredibly-swag (mostly u guys cuz we talk more and it makes me happy)

And all my other mutuals and fans :) )

[baxterbella]

hello everyone, another year has come to a close and i just wanted to remind you how much i treasure this place and all of you. happy new year's i hope you all have a healthy, safe and amazing 2024 🎉🥂✨

@90sjenniferconnelly @achillescomedown @anditsdraining @anthonybridgertonn @bcwaldorf @belivet @benoist-mcgrath @bloodbuzz-ohio @chaoticstars @chloesevigny @comebackstory @darcylewish @davidlynch @deanwwinchester @dykefaggotry @eva-greens @forbescaroline @harrison-ford @heartmis @hellboys @hisgirlfriday439 @iskarieot @jddryder @jeannemoreau @jennifersbod @jerimovich @jonnybaileys @katecastle @kostov-julian @lalocorleone @luthordamnvers @maddyqueenperez @moonlight @moonlightsdream @pissdean @possitivetension @rahullkohli @ritahayworrth @romanogers @rust-cohles @saw-x @scullay @severidekelly @sheryl-lee @simonspiervsthehomosapiensagenda @twinprime @userbettycooper @userlestat @varsityhearts @yoongiseokjin