#to be clear i'll be fine I've just entirely fucked my back

[fanficsformyfaves]

All Too Well

Rhea Ripley x Fem!Reader

WARNING: ANGST, Struggles With Sexuality, Mentions of Underage Drinking (DO NOT DO IT), Jealousy, Alcohol Consumption, Confrontation

PREFACE: Rhea and Reader were childhood friends, but after a kiss they shared during a party, Reader cut contact and never spoke to her again. That was until their high school reunion came up and the two finally see each other years later

A/N: Flashbacks In Italics!

Liv Morgan is also Reader's best friend from a different school in this A/U!

Some surprise appearances by other WWE Stars!

Was feeling a little angsty, don't mind me

"Are you sure it isn't too...showy?", I say,

Looking at Liv's reflection in the full-length mirror.

"Are you kidding? It's literally perfect"

I chuckle at her enthusiasm.

Within a week from now, we were set to attend our ten year high school reunion and to say I had knots in my stomach would be an understatement.

High school was fine, in fact, I often catch myself reminiscing on how simple life once was.

Not having to deal with adult responsibilities like work, bills or rent and just living life as I wanted...but there was one thing that made me wish time moved faster.

Rhea.

We grew up in the same neighborhood and were inseparable. Always sleeping over at each other's houses and hanging out every day after school. Wherever she was, I was. You wouldn't see me without her by my side and vice verse.

"Check this out", she says,

Smacking her wrist and causing the whipped cream she had on the back of her hand to catapult into her mouth.

"What the fuck? How?", I exclaimed.

She lets out a laugh, almost choking on the sweet foam.

"Saw someone do it on YouTube. Try it"

I shrugged, spraying some onto the back of my hand and repeating what she did. Only my attempt resulted in the cream to land on the side of my mouth. She lets out a roaring laugh, falling back against the couch.

"I've got you", she says,

Gently wiping it off my face and sucking it off her thumb. Her eyes never leaving mine, whilst doing so. I couldn't ignore the sudden rush of butterflies that irrupted in my stomach. What the hell was that?

I awkwardly clear my throat and sipped on some water. She eventually noticed my silence and squinted curiously.

"You alright, babe?"

Her nicknames have now become lethal to me. It's not like we haven't jokingly called each other things of that nature, but this time felt different.

"Mhm"

"Okay", she replied unconvinced.

Just then the door bell, rang. Thank god.

"I'll get it. Must be the food", she says,

Gently placing a hand on my thigh, before sprinting off. I felt her touch linger even after she'd already left the room. My heart racing against the confinements of my chest.

As the day turned to night, we got ready for the party Sonya was throwing, when I couldn't get the zipper of my dress up.

"Women's clothing is a complete joke!", I struggled inside the bathroom,

"Need some help?", she asked through the door.

Why was I so nervous for her to see me half dressed? We've changed in front of each other dozens of times before.

Though I must admit, I had to look away as we did. Something about seeing her so intimately made my stomach drop to my feet. Like I would...like what I see.

But nonetheless, I reluctantly agreed.

"Could you?"

She steps inside and carefully tugs my zipper up and once she was done, I turn around, patting myself off. For a moment, she eyes me up and down with a smile she was clearly trying to hide.

"That bad?"

"Not even close. You look amazing", she says,

Taking my hand and playfully spinning me around. God damn it, there go the butterflies again. I pull back, smiling awkwardly.

"Shall we?"

"We shall", she says,

Stepping aside and letting me out of the bathroom.

The entire car ride was silent, except for the ambience of the engine running and the radio softly playing. It gave me more time to fully process what happened and what exactly I was feeling.

It was all so sudden, that my head spun trying to wrap itself around it. I was probably overthinking. Maybe, I'd just imagined the whole thing and was worried over nothing?

"You're awfully quiet", she disrupts the silence,

Pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Hm?"

"Usually, we'd be screaming non-sensical lyrics over songs we put on, but you seem rather distracted", she interrogated behind the wheel,

"Um, probably the shots I took before we left"

"Well, I'm designated driver tonight, so, have all the fun you want, sweetheart"

Again with the nicknames.

We eventually got to Sonya's and made our way inside. The house was crowded with drunken kids from school, dancing terribly and talking way too loud. Tonight was guaranteed to be hectic.

"You made it!", Sonya yells over the music,

Before yanking me into a hug and making me chuckle at her excitement.

"I thought you'd ditch, since you weren't at school today"

"Nope, just decided to skip since it's the last day before spring break", I explained,

Pulling away.

She then pulls Rhea into a hug and plants a kiss on her cheek, making Rhea laugh.

I couldn't help but feel off about it.

But before I could even react, a hand turns me around by the shoulder and it was Liv, my friend from a different school.

"Hey!", I greeted,

As she squealed, jumping into my arms and wrapping her legs around my waist, like she usually does.

"Oh my god, I haven't seen you since last semester!"

"I know! I was swamped with extra-curriculars and tests", she said,

Hopping back down.

I look over and was met with Rhea's intense gaze.

"Rhea, this is my friend, Liv. She goes to the school down the road from us"

"It's really nice to meet you!"

"Pleasure", Rhea greeted,

Her tone dry and unwelcoming. I give her a look of confusion, to which she simply ignored me, before walking off.

Besides that slight hiccup, the night went on just as I expected. With me getting wasted and making a fool of myself with Liv in the sea of dancing people.

Every now and then, I'd catch glimpses of Rhea staring daggers into me and for some reason, I didn't really mind. As a matter of fact, I sort of enjoyed the attention more than I was willing to admit.

That was until Liv grabbed my hips from behind and began swaying them, which then caused Rhea to visibly scoff and disappear from view.

Even in my drunken haze, I could tell she was irritated, but I decided to let her cool off, before attempting to ask any questions.

I did eventually feel the drinks working their way down, so I pulled Liv in close.

"I'm going to the bathroom!"

"Kk!", she yelled back.

I began stumbling towards the bathroom and swung the door open, just to find Rhea sitting in the empty bathtub.

"Hey there, stranger. I haven't seen you all night", I slurred.

"Yeah, you noticed? I'm surprised with the spectacular company that's been entertaining you"

My eyes squint curiously.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She sighs through her nose, looking away.

"Nothing"

It was now my turn to sigh, as I closed the door behind me and sat on the floor, beside the tub.

"Someone's jealous", I teased.

She didn't respond and merely scoffed once again.

"I saaaid someone's jealous-"

"And what if I was?", she interrupts.

In that very moment, any ounce of drunkness violently fled my body.

"What?", I chuckled nervously,

"What if...I was?", she repeated,

Sitting up and gripping the edge of the tub to bring herself closer to my face.

I was at a complete loss for words. Hit with so many emotions at once, that I froze in place, just staring blanky at her.

"What do you-"

Before I could complete my sentence, she cuts me off by crashing her lips onto mine. The strangest part of it all was the fact that I didn't pull away.

It felt...good.

I grab her face and pressed deeper into the kiss, whilst swiping my tongue over her bottom lip, tugging it slightly with my teeth.

Her own hands do the same and before I knew it, she pulls me into the tub, straddling her hips. I felt myself growing needier with each passing second, but before anything else could happen, she made her way down my neck, whispering.

"You have no idea how long I've been wanting this"

That's when reality finally hit me. I was in love with my best friend this entire time and couldn't bring myself to admit it. I was in love with a girl. All the pieces of myself that I thought were broken were now starting to make sense and I just wasn't ready.

I hastily pull away, getting out of the tub.

"Where are you going?"

"We can't do this", I say,

Wiping the smudged lipstick off my cheek.

"(Y/N)"

"I'm sorry, Rhea, I can't", I rushed,

As she stood up to follow me.

"(Y/N)-", she steps out of the tub,

"Please", I pleaded with teary eyes,

Catching off guard.

"Just...I can't", I choked back a sob.

I rush out of the bathroom and left the party entirely, but as I ran home with tears streaming down my face, my phone kept blowing up with messages and incoming calls.

Some being from Liv, looking for me and others from Rhea, begging me to come back so she could explain. I simply turned my phone off and finally arrive at the steps of my house.

I was consumed with more emotions than I could handle. Confusion, helplessness, fear, but most of all, grief. I was now meant to grieve the loss of my best friend and possibly the love of my life.

That night was the last time I'd ever spoken to her.

Rhea would continue to try and get a hold of me, but a few weeks go by and she eventually got the hint.

At school, I'd take different routes to try and avoid her and when we did cross paths in the hallway, I'd just speed-walk past her to get to my next class.

Losing someone like her has been and still is one of my biggest regrets.

"Hellooo?"

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Liv's hand waving at me.

"What?"

"I asked if I should do an updo or have my hair down"

"Oh"

"Are you okay? You seem like a bajillion miles away right now", she questioned,

"I'm fine"

"Mhm", she crosses her arms,

"What?"

"Nothing. If you say so", she shrugged,

Turning back to the mirror.

"Liv", I urged warningly,

"It's just, are you sure this isn't about...Rhea?"

"What? No"

She sighs, hopping on top of my vanity.

"What?", I repeated,

"How long have I known you?"

"Well...a while"

"And in that while, do you really think I can't tell when you're lying?"

It was now my turn to sigh, as my arms fold over my chest.

"What happened was...less than ideal, but don't let that ruin your night. You deserve to have fun", she says,

Getting back on her feet and making her way over to the bed, as I shrug, watching her take a seat next to me.

"Who knows, maybe she still feels the same way", she nudges,

"That's not funny"

"I'm being serious! Who you are isn't anyone else's business, but your own and if you do end up telling her the truth, that should be your choice", she emphasized,

"Look, (Y/N), you're a total babe. Anyone would be lucky to have someone as sweet and funny and pretty and smart and-"

"Okay, okay, enough with the flattery", I chuckle,

Nudging her back.

"Hey and if all else fails, we can still get wasted"

"See? This is why you're my friend", I say,

High-fiving her.

The days came and went in what felt like a flash and before we knew, it was the day of the reunion.

With each moment that passed of us being in the cab, my heart grew burdened by anxiety. What was I supposed to do if I saw her? What if she came up to me? Would she tell me off in front of everyone? Was I prepared for that to happen?

Worst of all...what if she brought a date?

"Stop doing that"

"Doing what?"

"I see the hamster wheels spinning"

I sigh, relaxing into the seat. Liv then pulls out a cannister and sneaks it under my purse.

"You're lucky I came prepared"

"You really did", I say,

Twisting off the cap and carefully taking a swig.

"But don't over do it. I actually wanna dance a little before we black out"

We arrive at the high school and I was immediately taken back. The grass, the steps, the doorway. It truly felt like a blast from the past.

"Just as ugly as I remember!", I squealed,

Throwing a hand over my mouth, as Liv snorts, leaning against me.

The gymnasium was packed with many familiar faces, two of which were a set of twins I used to know.

"Yo, no fucking way"

"Hey, Jey", I greeted with a beaming smile,

"If it ain't miss (Y/L/N). Man, you still look good"

I playfully roll my eyes, as he pulls me into a hug.

"I haven't seem your ass in a minute, ma"

"No! I saw you a few years ago, when I came to one of Liv's matches"

"Like I said, a hot minute"

I laugh, pulling away to greet everyone else.

The DJ starts playing a song from way back when and Liv gives a mischievous grin.

"Oh god"

"You know the drill, come on", she drags me onto the dance floor,

And all of our friends followed suit.

As we started to dance, the gym doors open, catching my attention. My face immediately drops upon realizing who it was.

"What?", Liv turns to see and her own eyes widen.

"Shit"

There she was.

Only, I almost didn't recognize her. From the new black hair slicked back, to the expensive three piece suit and tattoos, my heart nearly gave out.

She was nothing short of breathtaking.

Her eyes immediately fall upon mine and it felt like everyone else disappeared. Even with her new entourage behind her, being rowdy, all I could focus on was the dejected look on her face.

I had only myself to blame. Had I not been a coward sooner, none of this would've happened. We wouldn't have cut ties, grown apart and gone our separate ways. We might've even-

"You good, uce?", Jey snaps me back to reality,

"Yeah, I'm fine"

"(Y/N)-"

"I'm fine, Liv. Really", I reassured,

"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom", I let my friends now,

Before walking out of the gymnasium.

I knew this was all my own fault, but I couldn't help but tear up, thinking of all the things I could've done to change what happened. She deserved better than that. She deserved better than me.

I arrive at the bathroom and lock myself in the handicap stall.

With no one around to hear me, I finally let go of all the tears I'd been desperately fighting back. After allowing myself a good few minutes to cry, I grab some tissues to wipe off the makeup that was surely running down my face.

I recollect myself and exit the stall, but as I went to check on myself in the mirror, the door creaks open and it was none other than Rhea walking in.

There couldn't have been a worse possible time than now to run into each other.

"Sorry", she said with her head low,

Stepping back out.

"Wait, Rhea"

She simply ignored me and kept walking, to which I followed behind her.

"Rhea, could we please talk about this?"

"Talk about what?"

"Please", I begged,

She finally stops and turns to face me.

"I'm sorry"

"Alright"

"Rhea, please", I pleaded,

Taking a hold of her wrist and making her eyes pour into mine. Even being this close to her made my heart race against the inside of my chest.

I carefully let her go and she stuffs her hands into her pockets.

It was now or never. I could either just let her walk away and risk never seeing her again or make things right, so... I took a deep breath and began.

"I wanna start off by saying I understand that you're angry. You have every right to be and I don't blame you for it", I reassured.

Her eyes never leaving my face as I spoke.

"But before you go, I just need to tell you how sorry I am", I start to choke up,

"Nothing I say or do can ever make up for how I ended things...but I'm sorry"

Her gaze was still intense, but I could make out her eyes glossing over.

"I'm sorry for leaving you with no explanation. It was childish and stupid, but I promise, it had nothing to do with you. I was scared and I didn't know who I was back then, but I do now. I am a woman who likes other women", I wept,

As she takes a deep breath in.

"I am a woman...who was in love with her best friend", I admit.

The confession causing her face and shoulders to drop.

"She just wasn't ready to say it"

"(Y/N)", she exhales,

"But that doesn't excuse me just leaving you in the dark and for that, I am so so sorry", I cried.

"No one deserves to be treated like that, especially not someone like you. Someone so kind and so beautiful", I softly cup her cheek,

As she melted into my touch.

"I know I don't deserve it, but you'll have me, I promise I will never hurt you again"

She shakes her head with a tearful smile, taking my hands into hers.

"I am so proud of you", she says,

As tear rolls down her cheek and meets the tip of my fingers.

"You are?"

"That's all I've ever wanted to hear"

And for the first time in a long time, I felt...light. The years of shouldering this burden was gone and I could finally breathe again.

I was so caught up in what was going on, that I almost didn't notice the audience of our friends gathered behind me. Guess I just have to lay it all out there now.

"Guys", I start,

When I felt Rhea's hand grab mine to make me face her.

"(Y/N), you don't have to do this"

"I do"

If she was brave enough to come out all those years ago, it was now my turn to have that same courage. I turn back towards the small crowd and see Liv cheering me on with a nod.

"I love Rhea and I'm not hiding it anymore"

A fleeting moment of silence overtakes the hallways, before they all rush in to hug me.

"I'm proud so of you, kid!", Liv squeals,

Causing Rhea and I to laugh amidst the group hug.

"You're a g, (Y/N)", Jey joins in,

"You finally got the girl!", Dominik yells,

Making Priest playfully smack the back of his head.

They all pull away, allowing Rhea and I to face each other once more.

"Let's give them their space, guys", Liv say,

Ushering everyone back into the gymnasium.

Without wasting another precious moment, she pulls me in and kisses me with a newfound passion.

This was how it was meant to be.

[thatoneoverlyhornybitch]

Heyy can i request a regulus x reader fic? Where he loses his V to reader and has been addicted to reader eversince? if they’re not having s*x he would constantly be touching reader. Like my boy just cant get enough!

Thank you in advance and its fine if you’re not up for it tho!

i LOVE this idea, I will say I wont be writing as much for regulus but if anyone requests him i'll 100% write it, fave character from the HP universe🖤

Virgin! Regulus x Fem! Reader

Warnings: smut, vaginal sex, oral sex(fem recieving), making out, creampies,just cute regulus being addicted to you🖤

"Are you sure reggy? I don't want you to feel like you need to yet, it's completely fine to wait." You asked him kindly, though your current situation was quite risque, one might say. The two of you had been having a heated make out session, until you unknowingly grinded yourself down onto his long hard-on, his cock immediately poking your groin through his trousers. A bright blush had covered his cheeks and ears, but he knew what he wanted. It was finally time.

"I'm completely sure my love, we've been dating for a while anyways, I don't want to keep you waiting," at the sight of your lips opening, most likely to respond that you would wait as long as he needed, he covered your mouth and continued. "Plus I REALLY want to be inside of you." You giggled at his words but nodded, quickly slipping off your skirt and panties, your bare pussy on display for him.

He let out a loud whine before rushing towards your thighs, a bit of drool slipping from his lips. "B-before anything else, can I taste you?" You moaned at his words, clenching around nothing, reminding you of how empty you are. You nod to him, pushing your hips upwards somewhat to give him easier access. His hot tongue immediately dived into your folds, licking long inexperienced stripes through your folds. Inexperienced or not, he was a natural, his tongue soon darted inside of your tight entrance immediately beginning to thrust in and out of you.

You squealed, gripping his dark locks of hair and shoving him further into you. He groaned, sending vibrations through your core and snapping the coil that had been building up in your belly. You came with a muffled whine into his pillow, falling back entirely onto his bed. He looked up at your face, his dark eyes gazing into your own with a look of pure want. Your clear cum covered his puffy red lips, and his long tongue darted out to lick it off. "Are you ready?" You only nodded, a blush covering your cheeks.

Before you knew it, his pants and boxers had been swiftly thrown from his body. His warm tip sliding against your folds before pressing into you, he looked to once more, most likely for more reassurance, then he sunk in with a breathy whimper. He didn't bother to take it slow, he just slid inch after inch into you swiftly, leaving you no time to adjust. Luckily however, once the stretching sensation left you were met with pure pleasure.

"Y-you mean... I've been missing out on th-.... HNGH~ this sweet pussy.. Feels like you were made for me, just me... all mine.." He began to mutter to himself, seemingly high on the pleasure your tight little cunt gave to him as it squeezed harder and harder around him. His thrusts, while somewhat sloppy as this was new to him, were powerful, he thrusted into you again and again, each one harder than the last, and soon enough his thrusts were reaching that little spongey spot inside of you, and your eyes rolled back with a high pitched squeal from you as he rammed into it.

He noticed the reaction, and began focusing every thrust of his into that area. "You like that, hm? I'll be sure to do that over and over again until you're crying from the pleasure." He whispered into your ear, nibbling a bit as he pulled away. Your eyes widened at his bold, sexy words, where was the shy inexperienced man you'd just been reassuring it'd be fine for him to fuck you.

Your were cut off quite quickly, however, as he stayed true to his word. Pulling endless orgasms from you, you truly did begin to zone out, only feeling the overwhelming pleasure surrounding you. You came, again and again on his unrelenting cock, and you could tell he had been trying his absolute hardest to not finish inside of you since his first thrust. You didn't have nuch time to worry about that however, as he let out a moan and threw his head back, his thrusts becoming slower.

You felt his warm seed flood your insides, a smile pulling at your lips as you felt entirely full and just, complete. You never wanted him to pull out, just needed to keep him inside forever. "I love you Regulus..." You whispered, snuggling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist and laid with you.

"I love you too (Y/n), more than anything." He replied pressing his face to your neck, pressing soft kisses. "Can uh, can we do that again?"

You giggled, it was going to be a long night.

-

You soon began to have sex quite frequently, nearly anytime you had been alone with your dark haired boyfriend, he had been thrusting into you before long, though sometimes it wasn't sexual, he'd just feel the need to be touching you, in some way.

You'll be in the library, supposed to be studying for your finals with him, but it ends in you bent over and being pounded into a bookshelf with his big hand covering your mouth to keep you quiet. You'll be eating in the great hall, people all around you, your friends right across from you, and he'll slip his fingers beneath your skirt, sliding into your panties and through your already slick folds.

Today being an example of these things, you had made it to a class you shared with your boyfriend early, and while you were reading through the material you'd be going over today, you felt his soft hand caress your thigh softly. You looked to him, a confused glint in your eye as you gazed into his own seductive eyes. His slid his hand to your panties, and lightly rubbed a single finger over your clothed clit, emitting a sharp whine at the pleasure.

"R-regulus, anyone could walk in!" You exclaimed, attempting to stop the action at the fear of being caught, but he stayed silent and still for a moment, before he slid his arms around your middle and pulled you into his lap. "Let's just stay like this until later then."

The both of you practically ran through the halls as you made your way to Regulus's dormitory. The moment the door to his bedroom was shut, he turned to you and pressed his mouth against yours. Hard. His tongue glided with yours, his hands on your hips to push you toward his bed. Gently pushing you onto it, he pressed his clothed erection into your own clothed center.

Before long, you're both stripped of your clothes, and he's thrusting away into you, once again drooling and mumbling to himself like a mad man, whimpering everytime you clenched harder around him.

-

"Hey Reggy, look I need to ask, not that I mind at all, but you weren't this... close. Before. You were actually somewhat distant before." You said softly one day, as you played with his hair in bed. He shifted in your lap a bit, making it to where he was staring directly into your eyes. "I... I just want to know why." You blushed a bit, you always believed he had the prettiest eyes you'd ever seen

"Because now that you're completely mine, you're always on my mind. I feel...I feel like I'm going insane when I don't my hands on you, I feel like I need to have your warmth wrapped around me always. Even though it can't always be, so I like to touch you." He explains, furrowing his brow when he has difficulty finding the right words. You only smiled big, a surge of joy filling you.

"Well I'm all yours, always, so feel free to keep your hands on me forever my love. Not that I don't want you to fuck me, but kinda impossible to do that one forever." You giggled, causing him to giggle with you, and you only held him closer to you, pulling his head up from your lap and into your chest. "Speaking of..." You trailed off, and luckily he got the hint.

Within minutes, your cum coated his tongue once more, and his long perfect cock reentered you, like the perfect fitting puzzly piece, and you felt complete as he started thrusting away once again.

-

[oceans-goddess]

Not Stupid At All

A/N: Sorry I haven't been very active lately, I'm a busy gal at school these days. Hope you like this short fic! I love this boy with my entire heart and I feel absolutely no shame in telling you all that he is my ride or die comfort character<3. Might edit this later because I don't love it, but it'll do for now

Pairing: Eddie Munson x female!reader

Warnings: none I think

______________________________________________________________

Months into the school year, Eddie was still impressed with himself for managing to befriend you that first day of school, when you'd sat all alone at lunch, poking at the grimy "meal" on your lunch tray. His friends had been trying to tell him about a new store that was opening up in town, but he barely heard them.

"And I heard they'll have... Eddie?" Gareth had said, noting Eddie's distraction. "Hello?..."

But Eddie was too busy watching you dig through your bag and pull out a notebook. He'd wished he could stand over you and see what you were writing, get a glimpse of what you were thinking. He felt a swell of affection when he noted the way you tilted your head as you scribbled, the light hitting your hair in a way that made him swoon.

It took a nudge from Dustin to catch Eddie's attention once more; he let out a yelp of pain and mostly surprise.

"Fuck was that for?" he asked, but Gareth cut in then.

"That was for you not listening."

Eddie rolled his eyes and tried to listen, but after a few minutes, it was clear he was completely unfocused again. Jeff waved a hand in front of his face, asking Eddie what his problem was.

"Nothing, man. I'm fine."

"You've been quiet all of lunch," Gareth pointed out, Mike nodding in agreement next to him. Suddenly, every eye at the table was on him, expecting an answer.

"Jeez, guys, I don't fucking know! I'm fine, just..." without knowing how to finish, Eddie slumped forward, messing with his jacket collar.

"Just what?"

"Guys, maybe lay off? He said he was fine," Dustin tried, but no one else was buying it. After a few more unanswered questions, Eddie caved.

"Alright, alright, I'm just kinda, I don't know... I mean, have you seen that girl before?" He said the last part an octave lower, hoping to be discreet, but it didn't matter; every other boy's head swiveled around to look at you sitting at the next table over.

"Way to be subtle, guys, Jesus," he huffed. Gareth was the first to speak.

"Nah, I've never seen her. Probably new."

Obviously, thought Eddie. You had to be new. Eddie would have noticed you if you'd come to this school last year, no question.

"She's cute," Jeff commented.

"Gorgeous," Eddie spat before he could stop himself. Gareth laughed loud enough to draw your attention, and you looked up from your notes, slightly startled. Surely others nearby had done the same, but Eddie didn't care-- he just didn't want to draw your attention.

"Shut the fuck up!" he whisper shouted, reaching across the table to flick his friend in the forehead. When he looked back in your direction, your focus was back on your work.

"Just go say hi," Dustin suggested, earning a snort from Mike. Eddie rolled his eyes. Jeff clapped Eddie on the back, agreeing with the curly-haired freshman.

"No," he said curtly, hoping to end the conversation there, but with this group, it was never that easy. They encouraged him some more, but he denied them once again.

"No, I'd look totally stupid just going up to her."

"No way man," Mike declared. "Not stupid at all. Just be cool. It'll go great."

"Go get 'em, tiger," Jeff growled playfully, "or I'm calling her over." Eddie raised his eyebrows in surprise, his mouth agape.

"No! No, stop. Alright, I'll go say hi. Just shut the fuck up."

______________________________________________________________

It had been months since then, and you'd been kind enough to befriend Eddie. The two of you spent time together almost every day. Every time you looked at him he got lightheaded, and whenever you hugged him goodbye he could barely manage to stand up straight. When you'd asked in your sweet voice if Eddie could be your regular ride home from school, all he could do was nod. He'd probably say yes to anything you asked of him, now that he thought of it.

"What should we do?" you now asked as you sat in Eddie's van in the school parking lot after a DnD session.

"Uh... we could go for a drive? Listen to some music, pick up some snacks, and just drive around for a bit?"

You smiled at that, nodding slightly. The gesture set off the butterflies in his stomach.

"You can choose the music," Eddie allowed, expecting you to choose Wham! or Cyndi Lauper or another artist that he didn't particularly like but had picked up from the store for you to listen to when he drove you home. Instead, you picked out a Metallica album and handed it to Eddie.

"Are you sure? I feel like these songs are kinda intense for a chill night," he asked, completely astonished at your choice. But you were sure, and you told him you wanted to listen to what he liked tonight.

He hadn't thought you could get any sexier, but here you were.

After stopping at the store, the two of you chatted lightly between bites.

"This is nice," you said suddenly. "I mean, the other guys are fun to hang out with and everything, but I feel more relaxed with you."

Eddie could have passed out then and there. You liked spending time with just him? Before he could respond, you spoke again.

"Sorry, I made that sound kind of weird. I just meant that, ugh, I don't know, I mean, you're just... very sweet." From the corner of his eye, Eddie could see that you had your head ducked down and that you wrung your fingers in your lap. Before saying anything, he desperately needed to park the car. He couldn't focus on the road and what you were saying to him at the same time. His mind was racing-- could you actually be trying to tell him what he'd been hoping to hear since the day he met you?

He found an empty parking lot and put the van in park, but it took him a few moments to figure out what he wanted to say back to you. You quickly scrambled for an apology.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to weird you out--"

"No, no you didn't, Y/N." Eddie said quickly, realizing that he needed to come up with something quick.

"I... I like spending time with you too," he said, then internally cringed, realizing how stupid he sounded.

"You do?" you asked. He was surprised that you couldn't tell already. Every moment that he wasn't at band practice, at work, or in class (and even sometimes then), he was with you.

"Yeah," he whispered, and you smiled, shifting to face him in your seat.

"Can I tell you something?" you asked.

"Anything," Eddie breathed. You hesitated for a moment, a blush rising to your cheeks. The anticipation practically killed him.

"I've kind of had feelings for you for a while now," as you spoke, Eddie's world imploded, the car windows shattered, the music blared, the lights in the parking lot flickered wildly-- "and I was wondering if you would ever consider, you know, going out on a date some time."

Eddie didn't know what to say. The girl of his dreams had just asked him on a date, and he was completely speechless. His world had just been turned on its head, and she expected him to give her an answer without blowing up right where he sat? But the longer he sat there staring at you dumbfounded, the more your expression turned from hopeful to embarrassed, and he had to put a stop to that quickly.

"Yes," he choked out, "of course, I'll go on a date with you." You looked over at him with wide eyes.

"Really?"

"Yes, Y/N. I've had feelings for you since the day I met you." You tried to hide your grin by looking down at your lap, making Eddie smile stupidly at your cuteness.

"Why haven't you said anything?" you asked, unaware of Eddie's gaze. He shrugged, then began to speak.

"I guess I didn't want to mess up a good thing, ya know? I mean, you are undeniably the smartest, sweetest, most beautiful girl I know. And I was lucky enough to be your friend. I didn't want to tell you how I felt and make things weird between us if you didn't feel the same." You giggled and shook your head at his assumption.

"No, honestly, I've had a crush on you since we met too. I remember Gareth laughing at something at lunch the first day of school. When I looked over at your table, I saw you sitting across from him. I remember thinking how cool you looked. Your hair, your clothes--" you stopped yourself then, clapping your hand over your mouth to guard yourself from revealing any more. Eddie leaned into you, his eyes begging you to tell him more.

You squeezed your eyes shut and cringed, but Eddie only laughed and pulled your hand away from your mouth. Now that he knew how you felt, he had to know the rest. He was on top of the world tonight, and he wanted to bask in the glory of being admired by you for as long as he possibly could.

"Ugh, um, okay..." you continued, "you looked really stressed initially, but when you came over to talk to me, you were so confident and, I don't know, it was exciting. You wanted to be my friend. I could barely speak. Kinda stupid, I know."

"No way," Eddie laughed. "Not stupid at all. I felt the same way."

When you looked up at Eddie, he was staring at you with the gentlest expression you'd ever seen on him. He was still holding your hand in his, and you intertwined his fingers with yours. He smiled at this and brought his other hand up to cup your cheek. The pads of his fingers were a bit rough from playing his guitar, but you liked the feeling.

Soon, you were lifting your chin, and he was pressing his lips gently to yours. He brushed your cheek with his thumb as he kissed you, and your heart was beating out of your chest. Eddie's kisses were sweet and slow, the exact opposite of what you'd expect from a guy like him.

When you pulled away, the beautiful boy in front of you was smiling. "So," he began, "where will this date be held?"

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

when I took a month off work I was lowkey worried I'd come back and find everyone had been fine without me and I wasn't needed at all (because being terrible at every previous job I've had did some ✨damage✨ to my self confidence)

but that is not what happened

I have never encountered someone so fucking happy to see me as my boss' wife was on my first day back, her face lit up like it was christmas, she was practically jumping for joy because now that I'm back she doesn't have to do the ops team's fucking timesheets anymore

I have been told by one of the ops guys that my leave of absence had caused a genuine rift in the boss' marriage because his wife hated doing my job so much they were actively fighting about it

to be clear, his wife is lovely, she doesn't usually throw a shit fit about just anything, it was just that my job is just so fucking annoying that she hated every second of it, and that was the most validating shit I have ever experienced in my LIFE

and the reason she was pissed off at my boss/her husband about it is because he's too soft on his crew and doesn't make them all report their hours for the week

which, as you can imagine, makes building their timesheets extremely fucking difficult

it basically turns the whole process into a puzzle that I have to solve using roughly three different sources of information, one of which is the boss himself who isn't always easy to get ahold of when he's on a site

this puzzle is made even more difficult by the fact that a glitch in our form system keeps messing up the dates on the timecards, so I have to cross reference the time cards from the two (2) ops team members, who actually DO fill out their forms, with the roster, but my boss often changes the roster at the last minute without telling me or noting it down, so then I have to cross reference with the reports they have to submit for certain ongoing jobs because they'll have correct dates and also a list of who was present (if they were doing one off smalltime jobs that week I'll have no physical records and will rely entirely on the boss' memory to confirm dates and staff numbers, unless I can get ahold of one of the ops team members themselves and there's only one who will reliably communicate with me but only when he's not currently on a site)

I tried to explain this process to boss' wife before I left and, looking horrified, she asked me 'is there no way to streamline this?' I replied 'this is streamlined'

as far as I'm aware, as long as I've worked there, there has only been a handful of times people were paid incorrectly, and it was because I was not given correct information by the boss, in the time I was gone, his wife told me that she had incorrectly logged several pays because of this broken ass system

so, as you could imagine, my ego is through the fucking roof right now, I am GOOD at this bullshit job, I took an impossible system and made it work, I am playing on hard mode and killing it, in a field I had zero experience in before taking this job other than a natural inclination for organising and scheduling

and to be clear, I love this job, the boss is too soft on his staff but he's a good guy, he makes us all feel valued and appreciated, he paid me above my award rate, he's absurdly accommodating, and I have an insane amount of freedom to do what I want with company files

I may be working with a bullshit system but I can take naps in the office whenever I want and tell my boss off when he's being too soft (one time his wife literally started clapping when I told him off for sending clients their reports before they'd paid for them) and I get to control when I work, and whether I work from home or the office (which is GREAT when my back flares up)

I might not get many hours (only 16 hours per week) because the company is so small and I run out of things to do because I've streamlined everything (boss literally called me TOO EFFICIENT), but he'll give me those 16 even if I spend half of it playing solitaire and watching youtube

so just, yeah, it feels so good to be confident in my work, to feel valued and appreciated and like I'm actually successful at something after being handed dud jobs for years that I wasn't cut out for, and now knowing that what I'm doing is actually genuinely hard but I've been doing it anyway without fail, makes me feel good!

so tldr; taking a month off work taught me I have phenomenal job security because if my boss ever fires me his wife might actually fucking kill him

[alittlebit0fmayhem]

𝙻𝚊 𝚅𝚒𝚎 𝚎𝚗 𝚁𝚘𝚜𝚎

I siriusly don't know why I've chosen now to fall back into my marauders phase, mais c'est la vie...

(see what I did there?)

I've taken French for literally five years, (I'm nowhere near fluent tho) so I have no idea why it's taken me so long to incorporate it into my writing.

In all honesty, I'm doing great mentally, but I've been pining for some wolfstar! x reader angst, and I haven't really found any that meet my fancy yet soooooo.

Fine I'll do it myself.

Summary: You were a hopeless romantic who had always tended to see things through rose colored glasses, falling in love with the idea of falling in love. Each new infatuation came to you like a fascination ready to be explored, there was nothing you loved more than the head-games of an all consuming crush. That was until, the latest object of attraction became two boys so incredibly and viscerally out of your reach.

Warnings: Angst! (like a lot), Unrequited love, fluff for a mere second, tbh I feel like it is funny at moments???

Once again, if you see any formatting/grammatical errors, please let me know!

Enjoy <3

———–

It had all been fun and games, it never really mattered, until it did.

It was no secret, to your family, your friends, and least of all you. You loved falling in love.

Bi-monthly, and sometimes depending on the circumstance, bi-weekly you waltzed into the Gryffindor common room with a new tale of budding romance to share with your friends. And they'd just look at you and smile,

"Ah, our (Y/N), ever the helpless romantic." they'd say, all the while you'd confirm their statements with a blush or grin.

It was harmless, innocent, you had made quite the reputation for yourself around Hogwarts.

Anyone who got involved with you knew your tendencies, that your heart could change pace like the seasons came and went. Each boy and girl you set your sights on was like a new game of chess for your dazzling beauty and quick wits to conquer.

Which, you knew in retrospect sounded terrible, but you also knew you were young, and that relationships and love should be something to explore, not something to hold you down.

Besides, it wasn't like they didn't mean anything to you, you felt heartbreak when it was said and done with. To you, the growth and rebirth that came with romance was something equally as beautiful as the summits and triumphs.

You had a sneaking suspicion, that if the Greeks and Romans were right about their gods, you had to have been under Aphrodite's watchful eye.

Coming up on your last year of Hogwarts, you had become unbeatable. You had captured so many suitors, there were even lingering rumors of Veela tainting your blood.

Of course, they were all false, though, you'd never tell anyone otherwise. Because, what fun would that be?

You had at least one crash-and-burn love story from every house to tell, it even got to the point that people were courting you with the intention of "taming" your rampage.

Never, had there been a crush you couldn't bounce back from, no matter how close to breaking you came, you never did.

That was until you just had to go and viciously fuck yourself over.

Your thoroughly used vinyl of La Vie en Rose echoed through your dorm room as it spun for what might've been the millionth time, lyrics serving as a cruel jab toward your current situation.

Des yeux qui font baisser les miens,

You hadn't meant for it turn to out this way. For the first time in your entire life, there you sat, face stuffed into your pillow, wishing to Merlin that your heart could just bleed out of your chest.

Maybe then, it wouldn't be something you'd have to deal with, and you could forget about the prospect of falling in love together.

Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche,

It wasn't too late at all, it was just after dinner, and the rest of your dorm mates had cleared to the common room to celebrate the winning quidditch match that had transpired hours earlier.

On any usual occasion, you'd been down there with them, curled up on the couch next to Lilly, Mary, or Marlene, sipping rum-infused butter beer in content.

Instead, you were curled up alone, bathed in the dim light of your bedside candle, shivering from the cold.

Your blanket had fallen half down your body nearly fifteen minutes ago, and yet, the last thing on your mind was pulling it back up.

Voila le portrait sans retouches,

You had made some lame excuse as to why you would be exempt from tonight's actives, claiming you wanted to brush up on your divination for the exam at the end of the week.

Everyone had bought it, too high on youthful excitement and laughter to stop once more and examine the dark circles under your eyes.

De l'homme auquel j'appartiens,

As you stuffed your face further into the cotton pillowcase, you desperately wished the ground would open up and take you somewhere dark and quiet. Somewhere you could forget that you existed, so you could stop feeling like such a horrible human being.

Your mind had been clouded with buzzing jumbled thoughts for what felt like hours, never ceasing to give you a moment to rest. You surely thought your ears would start bleeding from how hard you had been thinking all day.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras,

You had now reached a point, with your uniform discarded haphazardly on the floor, and the sleep shirt you garnered swallowing you whole, where your brain had become filled with white noise.

The only coherent thought you could form right now, was how the hell did I get here?

Il me parle l'a tout bas,

Which of course, led you back into a rabbit hole of memories.

Je vois,

 la vie en rose...

The infirmary's visiting hours were long over, the only company you had to keep was the first year who had fallen out of a tree that was sleeping in the cot next to you.

You should've been fast asleep by now, but you couldn't bring yourself to count a single sheep. 

You weren't there for any real injury, a prank the boys had pulled a few hours earlier had backfired, and you had gotten the brunt of their mistake.

What was supposed to be a "pimple-inducing glitter rocket" (you had no idea how they got so creative) headed straight for Severus Snape, was quickly dogged by the intended victim, and who else was so lucky to be standing a few feet behind him, but you?

After a quick potion, you were fine, but you felt a little nauseous from the drink, and a little woozy from all the excitement, so you decided to stay there for the night.

A decision you were vastly regretting, as it was coming up on midnight and you had absolutely nothing to do. 

You had resorted to trying to write a letter to a boy you broke up with two days prior, he had left on quite a sour note, and truthfully you felt a bit awful for him.

It wasn't necessarily his fault, like many prior partners, you'd just grown uninterested. You figured you should at least leave him a note apologizing for the entire ordeal, even if it did get left in the bin.

That would've been great and all, only, you had no bloody idea what to write.

This had to have been the fourth page of parchment you had crumbled up and discarded next to you. With the thin sheet from the hospital bed drawn over you, you sat dumbfounded, cross-legged with a small, pink, dancing flame next to your quill. 

You had started writing the beginning sentence, but then again, nothing came to mind after that. Your regularly admired face was scrunched up deep in thought, your nightgown slipping down one shoulder as you held the feather deep in concentration. 

You re-read what you already had, and decided to just follow up with whatever came to mind. Perhaps, you were thinking too hard. 

After much consideration, you began writing once more, 

"I'm sorry I got bored of you-" scratch. Nope, that was dreadful, this was a lost cause, and you were wretched. 

You huffed dismally, with no regard for the boy sleeping only a few feet away, and just as you prepared to snuff the light out, and try to achieve some shut-eye, you heard it.

You heard the door to the hospital wing slowly squeak open. 

You paused, who would be coming in at this hour?

You turned to the small flame dancing on the candle seated next to you and snuffed it with a pinch before grabbing your wand which was next to it.

"Lumos." You whispered, as a small orb of light spouted from the end of your wand, you dragged the sheet off your form.

You looked around the hospital wing, from the dozing first year to the grand windows that lined both walls, and finally, to the door.

Though open, no one besides you and the boy seemed to be in the room.

But you were raised by wizards and were best friends with the most ruthless tricksters Hogwarts had ever seen, so you know better than to glance only at surface level.

Slowly, you turned and lowered your feet onto the cold stone floor. 

As you tip-toed around your bed, eyes squinting and wand raised high, you spoke aloud.

"Who's there?" Apart from the echo of your voice, and the murmurs from the boy next to you who stirred slightly, silence.

You stepped forward a few more paces so that you were in the center of the room.

"Show yourself!" You spoke slightly louder and turned in all directions as if hoping to catch any movement.

Nothing. 

You sighed, perhaps you were just a lunatic, and the door had blown open on its own. You turned to walk back to your bed, and just as you took one step, you were interrupted by what nearly made you shit yourself.

"Hello, dear." 

A voice cut through the air next to you, and you screamed on pure instinct.

Well, you would've, if not for the hand shooting out of the darkness to cover your mouth. You swung your wand in the direction of your assailant and were met with a sight completely unexpected. 

Remus Lupin's big brown eyes, illuminated by your wand stared back at you. Or rather, down at you. 

The significantly taller boy was heaving, his ruffled oaky hair falling slightly in his face, which held an expression that suggested you had scared him. The light traced his scars, and his large, cut-covered hand closed around almost the whole bottom half of your face.

You couldn't help but think; how pretty Remus Lupin looked at that moment.

He gulped, a smile tugging at his lips as his expression shifted into one of slight amusement, "Alright love, I'm going to remove my hand now, and you are going to promise me you won't scream at us."

His voice was a soft whisper and reminded you of the rocky seashore you used to visit every summer with your parents when you were little. 

It sent a shiver down your spine, had it always had that effect?

You then reconsidered his wording, Us? Your eyes shifted to his right, and there you were met with an even more surprising sight. 

Sirius Black stood with one hand in his pocket, and the other clenching James Potter's invisibility cloak.

"Of course." You thought.

He stood with an air of relaxation like he always did. His annoyingly beautiful face was drawn in mirth, though far more sheening than Remus'.

His brows were raised, and his eyes regarded your appearance with what could only be described as mischief, as a feathery strand of his rebellious raven hair dipped between his eyes. 

He winked at you after you had seemed to stare for a little too long, causing you to snap out of your bewilderment, and look back to Remus, who remained rooted in the same spot looking at you expectantly. 

You nodded at him, holding his gaze, which seemed far too intense for a boy his age. For whatever reason, he nodded back. 

He removed his hand, and just as he did, you swatted it away and stepped back.

"What in Merlin's name are you both doing here?! You scared the hell out of me!" You whisper-shouted at the pair. The two boys smiled youthfully at you in response.

Sirius finally swaggered forward, and past you, not refraining from brushing against you as he did. He turned and plopped down on your bed, discarding James' cloak next to him.

In his natural air of arrogance, he leaned back on his palms and lolled his head to the side, grinning up at you.

"We thought our girl could use some company, didn't we Moony?" 

Against your better judgment, you rolled your eyes and swayed to look at Remus, who remained smiling down at you. 

Annoyingly, a smile of your own made its way onto your face.

It was no secret that out of the group you, Sirius, and Remus were close in a way that the others weren't.

I mean, of course, the boys, and you and the girls would always be close in your respective ways, but for some reason, you three just seemed to click in a weird, and almost perfect way.

It wasn't like they called any other girl in the friend group "their girl", and it wasn't like you'd go through the animagus process for just anyone. 

Remus bit his tongue, his eyes flickered from Sirius', and back to yours before he nodded once more.

Suddenly, he pulled his wand from his pocket and lit a candle on a bedside table across the room, so that your wand could be lowered and placed gingerly in the pocket of your nightgown.

 As he returned his wand to his pocket all the same, he stepped forward and took both your hands in his own, swinging them back and forth idly, "Yeah, that and we wanted to apologize again for being the reason you're in here in the first place."

"Even though it was James' idea to begin with!" Sirius' voice beckoned from behind you.

Remus shot him a glare over your head before looking back down at you and rolling his eyes, swiping his thumb gently across the back of your hand, "Yes," he droned begrudgingly, "even though." 

You bit your bottom lip while grinning in an attempt to conceal the laughter rising in your throat.

You released one of his hands, still gripping the other as you spun yourself around and face Sirius, who was now sitting cross-legged on the bed. 

You couldn't help the content sigh that escaped your lips as you regarded the look of merriment and genuineness that graced Sirius' face. 

You took turns looking between both boys before saying, "Consider yourselves forgiven, though I have a feeling that wasn't the only thing you came for."

"You'd be right to assume, Lovebug," Remus responded. Another thing, there wasn't a soul on the planet save for Remus and Sirius who called you Lovebug.

It was a title fashioned for your romantic tendencies, and it suited you quite well.

Sirius suddenly hopped to a stand, before taking his wand to poke the sleeping boy's foot ever so slightly, "We are taking you to the astronomy tower, to watch the crescent moon." He said nonchalantly, you scoffed in disbelief. 

"Right now? But Sirius I'm in a bloody nightgown, not to mention barefoot, and all my things-"

You were cut off by Remus, whose arms had suddenly wrapped around your shoulders, "Relax darling, we'll have you back before the sun rises, maybe we'll even take your things and you back to the dorm where you belong." 

You chuffed, "But-"

"As for the nightgown and lack of shoes, we can assure you, love, you look absolutely smashing in it, and have cute enough feet for it not to be too grotesque." Sirius winked.

You sighed and tried to ignore the light blush that settled across your cheeks, drowned out by the darkness.

You groaned petulantly like a child as you struggled to come up with a counterpoint, and leaned into Remus' lankily muscular build.

"C'mon Darling, it's your favorite moon cycle, and we know you must be bored to tears." 

You froze as Remus' smooth voice resonated against the shell of your ear, his breath fanning over you slightly.

It was then you became aware of just how dipped in his scent you were, it completely engulfed you, the smell of pinewood, candle wax, and parchment. 

You cleared your throat, before Sirius interjected once more, "Evidently, by the literary devices she's turned to to cope."

Your eyes widened, as your headshot over to Sirius, who had now grabbed and held the parchment you had forgotten you left on your bed.

His hair created a curtain around his face as he leaned over to read it, still though you could make out the shit-eating grin on his face as he did so. 

"Dear Callum, I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from at the moment, but I'm sorry I got bored of you-" He read aloud in a high-pitched voice before he broke down into laughter.

You wrenched out of Remus' hold before surging forward and snatching the paper from his hand and shoving him slightly.

"Give me that you oaf!" You hissed lowly.

He snicked and pulled you into a hug, "Oh come now, you know I'm only joking lovely, please don't leave me! I promise never to bore you!" He sang, you elbowed him in rebuttal.

"Alright, fine! FINE! I will go, will you stop it now?!" You snapped, his laughter eventually died down as he hummed and looked down at you.

You craned your neck to meet his gaze, "Ah, knew you'd come around Lovebug, right then off we go!" He announced before spinning you and setting you down on the ground.

You watched as he practically skipped over to Remus, before grabbing the boy by the jaw and pulling him into a simple kiss.

Yet another symbol of your closeness, you were one of the only ones who knew that the two were more than just friends.

Remus hummed before returning the kiss and pulling away.

Sirius leaned into his neck, "Told you she'd come around Moony."

Remus licked his lips and gave you a half-lidded once over, not even he could contain the dim beam that spread across his face. 

"Course she did, she's our girl after all." He mused.

In an instant, the smile dropped from your face.

It was then, for the first time in a long time, you felt something. Like a punch in the gut, one that you knew familiarly, but not to this extent. 

The air in your lungs seemed to leave you all at once, as a cold hotness spread over you.

Your vision began to tunnel, as your ears filled with wind, and you became all too aware of the sweat that coated your palms.

"No," you thought, "no way."

 Your heartbeat quickened, and you desperately hoped that with Remus' advanced senses, he couldn't hear it. 

There was no way this was happening, not to you, not right now.

It was such a simple sentence, one you were sure he and Sirius had uttered to you before, so why did it ignite this feeling in you?

Why, did you have to have such a reaction, and why now? 

You wiped the sweat that sprouted from your palms on your nightgown and could feel some new form on the nape of your neck.

It felt as though the air of comfortability from earlier had evaporated, replaced with a thick blanket of awkwardness and anxiety, at least on your part.

The boys you had leaned into so carelessly before, had now become the two people you wanted to be furthest from.

You knew this feeling, you knew what it was, and normally, you'd welcome it like an old friend. But not this time, not for them. 

Why, did it have to be them?

"(Y/N)" Sirius' question shook you from your state of silent panic. You blinked and swallowed a thick glob of your saliva. 

"Yeah?" Your voice was far less even than it had been a second ago, it wavered and shook much without you meaning it to.

The boys looked at you with confusion drawn over their expressions, "You ready to go?" Remus said as if you were some dimwitted puppy. 

Your eyelids flickered, and you took a deep breath. "Yeah, sorry, I just zoned out, must be the after-effects of the potion." You lied through your teeth. 

They nodded at you, still seeming suspicious of your behavior but not questioning the matter further.

Each boy extended a hand, and you almost let out a shattered sigh as you slowly stepped forward and took each hand in your own.

As you three began walking to the door, and you plastered a smile on your face, you began to hear your voice screaming inside your head.

In an instant, you knew what you had done. 

You'd just gone and fallen in love with two boys you knew you couldn't have.

That exchange had transpired a week ago, and ever since then, you'd been spiraling.

You felt hot tears gather in your eyes as you recounted it redundantly. In your mind, there were layers to how fucked up this was.

You can't like two people at once, that's utterly selfish. You berated yourself, especially since those two people are dating each other, not to mention two boys! Not to mention even more two boys that just so happen to be your best friends!

You groaned as you rubbed your temples, blinking back the tears.

Any logical, normal person would've taken the high road, and just silently waited until this infatuation passed.

But as you were reminded incessantly, you were the furthest from logical, or normal.

The longer you lingered with this knowledge, the more unbearable it became.

Every moment you spent trying not to think about Sirius or Remus, was another moment in which your little crush turned into a full-blown obsession.

At first, you had resigned to pretending as if nothing was amiss, forcing smiles and hoping they couldn't tell. But every day you felt your resolve weakening, and so as of today, you had completely avoided them at all costs.

Then, you just had to let your friends drag you to that stupid quidditch match.

You had managed to sit as far from Remus as possible and tried to push through through the awkwardness, which worked for awhile, and then the world had to go and give you another slap in the face.

After James had caught the snitch, you were dealt the misfortune of locking eyes with Sirius, who, high on excitement as he was, decided to beam at you, and blow you a fucking kiss.

Damn Sirius Black for being the natural flirt he was, and damn his stupidly perfect face.

You knew in hindsight it was just Sirius being Sirius, he was head over heels for Remus.

It's not like he knew how much he made your heart flutter from that simple act alone.

But the side effects of it were damning, and whilst you got by with averting eye contact and keeping to yourself for the walk back to the castle, you refused to risk a much more obvious reaction given the boys pull anything else.

You sighed, again, as you shut your eyes and listened to the last lyric that played from your vinyl.

Et, dès que je l'apercois, alors je sens en moiI, mon coeur qui bat...

You bit the inside of your cottoned mouth, and gulped sending a sting down your dry throat.

Your favorite song was beginning to sound like torture every time you translated its meaning in your head.

Yes, you thought bitterly, I see life through rose-colored glasses, and look where that's got me now.

Finally, you opened your eyes. God, your side of the dorm was a mess, Lily was going to kill you.

Not that it wouldn't be deserved, you shot at yourself.

With all the remaining strength in your body, you pushed yourself off your bed. The needle on your record player had finally reached the center of the vinyl, meaning it was time for you to get up and move it again.

As your feet landed on the cold floor, you winced, rolling your ankles to re-attune your body to movement.

After a moment you stood, not missing the blackness that pinched at your view from your lightheaded state. You began to walk across the room, ignoring the cries that sounded from your locked joints.

Your brain felt fuzzy, and your movements were reduced to emotionless and empty.

You stopped in front of the table on which your record player sat, and lifted a weak, trembling hand to the needle.

And as you picked up, and moved it to the edge, allowing the song to replay once more, you heard the startling sound of the door creaking open.

You didn't bother to look at her, instead, you closed your eyes and inhaled in preparation for what was to come.

"Godrick, (Y/N) the room's a mess, what have you been doing all this time?!"

Lily's maternal croon should've at least offered a morsel of comfort, and yet, all it did was cause more tears to sting the corners of your eyes.

Your ears filled with ocean sounds as Lily began to parade around the room, picking up all your discarded articles of clothing, too lost in her own ramblings to notice the air of gloom that hung over you.

You bit your lip as you shut your eyes tightly, trying desperately to keep any more tears from running freely down your rosy cheeks.

Lily had this way about her, she was too comforting, too emotion-invoking.

You wished she would've just stayed downstairs for one more hour, at least then you would've more had time to collect yourself.

But she didn't, she was here, and she was going to witness you in the state that you were; raw, terrified, and utterly humiliated.

Your mind had turned into a wind tunnel of thoughts and feelings, preventing you from noticing how Lily had halted her movements and slighted her gaze to your now shaking form.

"(Y/N)? Lovie? Are you alright?"

You opened your eyes and looked up at the ceiling for one moment, teeth biting down harder on your trembling lip.

Finally, you turned and met her head-on.

Lily gasped in spite of herself, "Oh, Y/N." she whispered, brows stitched in worry, emerald eyes widening.

Before you could blink, she was on you. Lean arms enclosing your figure, one placed comfortingly behind your head, the other wrapped around your waist.

"Darling, what's happened?" Her soft voice resonated in your ear.

You couldn't bring yourself to respond, burrowing your head in her shoulder, shaking it slightly.

Your arms had returned the embrace tenfold, hands grasping her sweater tightly like she was the only thing in the universe holding you together at that moment.

Before you could stop yourself, soft hiccups began to escape you, and it was then, as Lily pulled away and began to wipe at the wetness under your eyes, you realized, you had to tell her.

You allowed yourself to be guided to her side of the room and sat down on her plush, quilted bed.

Blinking through tears you tried to focus on Lilly's concerned face, as she pushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear, and took your hand.

"Y/N, please, tell me what's the matter." Lily begged quietly as she smoothed her thumb over the back of your hand.

The moonlight from the window above her bed was nearly the only thing that illuminated the space around you, sheening on your variability, and exposing your flaws.

Your eyes flickered as you took a deep breath and attempted to collect your thoughts, and organize them into something, anything, clear enough to be spoken aloud.

"I..." Your voice quietly resonated, coarse and croaky from hours of wailing and weeping. You fought against the tightness in your throat, encouraged by Lily's soft eyes, and comforting presence.

After a moment, you cleared your throat and tried again.

You began with a sigh, focusing on the way Lily smelled of vanilla, allowing her scent to calm your flurrying mind.

"Lily," you said, much quieter this time, "I've done something terrible."

Lily's brows furrowed once more, in confusion this time. "What can you mean?" she replied, ever inquisitive and eager.

You inhaled and exhaled slowly, here it goes.

You gripped her hand like it was your lifeline, "I've..." you paused.

"I've fallen in love again."

Quiet settled over the room, blanketing the two girls.

Lily blinked, face going blank.

Before she could stop herself, a snort escaped from her mouth. Her demeanor of worry was now replaced with one of disbelief and wry amusement.

"You must be joking, seriously (Y/N)? That's all this is about? another silly little fling?" She teased, now finding this entire situation utterly ironic.

You huffed, frustration becoming your face. "No," You interjected, voice strained and tight.

"It's not- God, it's not that I've fallen in love again, it's with who!"

Lily raised a brow, squinting, lip quirking. "Right then," she teased, "Tell me, who is the soul lucky enough to hold your affections?"

You were glaring and lifting yourself off the bed in an instant. Bitterness bitting at your tongue.

"Forget it." You bit.

Lily sighed and grasped your hand before you could get even two steps. "(Y/N)," she groaned in defeat, feeling instant guilt as more tears glided down your chin.

"I'm sorry, that was cruel of me. You can tell me, and I won't make fun of you."

You eyed the redhead suspiciously, "Promise?" You quipped. Lily smiled, "Promise."

You bit the inside of your cheek and returned to your spot on the bed.

You huffed and picked away at some of the skin around your fingernails anxiously. "You really promise not to judge?" you mumbled, looking up at her through your wet lashes.

Lily nodded, "I promise lovie, you can tell me." her smile was the reassurance you needed, but it didn't lessen the ache in your heart.

You shut your eyes, annoyed at the feeling of more tears gushing down your neck.

You covered your face in your palms, before admitting out loud the confession you'd been reckoning with for days.

"I fucked up," you said through tears as you lifted your eyes to meet Lily's, "I've fallen in love with Remus Lupin," you watched Lily's eyes turn into saucers, "And, Sirius fucking Black."

In any other situation, you would've laughed at how Lily's jaw fell open, but this was no laughing matter. Her hand flew to hover above her mouth, and for the first time in all that you've known her, Lily Evans had been rendered speechless.

And you, were growing more anxious by the moment. Tears were now fully cascading down your face, sobs and hiccups wrenching from your throat.

"Say something!" You begged, her silence was making you feel worse by the second.

Lily jumped, broken out of her state of shock. She closed and open her mouth, trying to find the right words, before she so eloquently settled on,

"Merlin's fuck, (Y/N)."

You cried harder if that was even possible.

"I know, I know, it's horrible isn't it?" You whined.

After a week of keeping this all bottled up, it was now all coming crashing down on you.

You felt your heart ripping at the seams, in such a short period of time, these boys had suddenly had the most magnifying attraction you had felt.

You felt so utterly stupid, had you always liked them? Did it just so happen that that fateful night was your moment of realization?

Either way, neither explanation lessened your suffocating distress.

As you let your head fall into your hands, Lily grabbed your shoulders, rubbing them up and down encouragingly.

"Well, I won't lie to you sweetheart, it doesn't look amazing." She winced, resolving to pull your sobbing body to hers, wrapping her arms around you once more.

Lily knew the weight of this situation, because she knew Remus and Sirius, more especially, the relationship the two shared.

"When did you find this out?" She asked softly. 

You sniffed, "A week ago, I think? Oh Merlin, maybe I've always known but was never ready to admit it to myself." 

Lily sighed thoughtfully, before replying. "Well, do you want to tell them?" 

You thought for a moment, before shaking your head in defeat.

"It's no use Lils, even in my wildest dreams, they're out of my reach. I can't have them, and the fact that I even want them makes me feel like the biggest arsehole in the world."

Lily stayed quiet as you continued your rant, allowing you to verbalize all the feelings that had been festering in your heart. 

"Godrick, they're so perfect for each other, it's almost unreal. You've seen them together, they look as if they were made for each other. Not only that, but they fought so hard for the right to be together. And who the hell am I to come in here and even consider ruining that? I must be the most selfish girl in the world." 

You felt your heart break a little more with each word, but you couldn't stop yourself, you had to let these thoughts surface. 

"They trusted me," you sobbed, "every deep, grimy secret that they had no obligation to share, they trusted me enough to tell. All they've ever wanted from me was a friend, someone to be their home, and now I've gone and ruined it."

"You don't know that-" Lily tried, but you interrupted before she could even finish the sentence.

"Yes, I do! You know how I get Lily, even about simple crushes they become all I can think about. I will not be able to stop thinking about them, and every single time they feel comfortable enough to be affectionate in front of me, I'll break all over again."

Finally, you paused and took a deep breath.

"There is absolutely no situation in which this can turn out alright for me."

Lily felt her heartache for you as she assessed the sheer pain in your voice.

However, this situation was difficult, because she had to consider Remus and Sirius' well-being too.

She tapped a finger on the bare skin of your arm. "You know what I think?" She finally said.

You lifted your head and met her calculating eyes with your own. "What?" you asked pathetically. 

Lily rotated her jaw, "I think, that this situation is much bigger than you or I, so before we go making blind assumptions, we need to let Remus and Sirius speak for themselves."

She paused, "(Y/N), I know you're scared, but you have to tell them."

You inhaled deeply, eyes flickering with fear.

You were scared, terrified actually. But, the more you thought about it, the more you realized what you had known all this time.

Lily was right, they needed to know. 

You couldn't just disappear from their lives without giving them a floor to speak their peace, it wasn't right.

Doing that, you decided, would truly be the cruelest thing you could possibly do.

You huffed, before blinking away the last of your tears and taking a moment to wipe the mess off your face.

Lily sat and watched you as you began to collect yourself, leaning on her own arm for support. 

After a moment, when you felt as though you were moderately put together, you shook your hands out and breathed deeply for that last time.

You looked to Lily, there were still a million questions you wished could be answered, but for tonight, as you checked the clock and saw it was coming up on 1:00 A.M., you settled for just one.

"Do you think they realize I've been avoiding them?" You cringed.

Lily opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, a sharp knock sounded at the door.

"(Y/N) (L/N), you open this door right now, or so help me Merlin, I will blow it down!" Sirius' muffled yell sounded from the other side of the aged wood.

Then, Remus chimed in. "You know he'll do it love, so there's no use in fighting."

You froze, and for a moment as Lily's expression turned into that of a deer in headlights, you thought maybe the whole universe froze with you.

Your blood ran cold as they continued raving about their usual nonsense, and as you saw the door handle rattle, you and Lily finally spoke in unison.

"Oh, fuck."

[lolokouhm]

FUSHIGOVER pt. I [THE LEAKING]

1 / 2 / 3 / 4

this ff is a fix, we’re living post 235 chapter. The rest is irrelevant

Loving him felt like cheating.

I was a fucking cheater.

I've cheated countless times in my life. There was a part of me that was convinced that this incredible luck I for some reason possessed would finally run out one day. I mean, everyone had their limits.

Well, that day definitely was not today.

I was in love with Megumi Fushiguro.

And I was more that ready to tell him that.

Actually no, scratch that. I wasn't. Despite being relatively brave (I was a jujutsu sorcerer after all), I'd much more prefer to exorcise another curse than tell him the truth. Reasons? Multiple. He was my friend. A good one at that. And the blood-freezing amount of shit we've been through together...

I mean, it takes two to tango, right?

Well, let's just put it that way. I didn't see myself tango-ing with Fushiguro anytime soon.

Maybe I was blind. Maybe I needed Gojo's Six Eyes to see what I've been so desperately wanting to see for the past few months, but unfortunately, this technique was, for some reason, reserved only for him. Well, that sucked. Almost as much as my mental state that morning.

'Didn't sleep much?'

The bed was definitely too small for two people, but I didn't really treat Nobara that way - she was a part of me by that time. A whole year of studying together, training together, shopping together, crying together was enough to blend us into one human being. Sort of.

'I'm so done.' I sighed. What would I give to hide under the bedsheets and never come out. At least for the next 15 minutes. 'It's insane that we still have classes.'

'It is', she nodded and snuck under my bedsheets to hug me tightly. 'Two more years and you'll be in the clear. So get up and let's go. We've got things to do.'

I stood up and slowly went into the bathroom, to make sure nobody would confuse me with a curse and I wouldn't get exorcised by mistake. That would suck. I shivered in front of the mirror, fixing my hair and putting on some sunscreen. Nobara joined me a moment later, being the only girl in the whole school that actually understood the importance of SPF filters, especially in this field of work. We were exposed to the weirdest shit on the entire planet, so the least we could do was putting on some cream.

'I've heard that he's coming back.'

'Today?' I tried not to sound too excited, but I apparently failed, as my best friend suddenly chuckled.

'Yup, today. So, is that it? Is that THE date? Should I prepare for being the only single person out of us two?' Nobara put the cream back in the drawer, delicately tapping the rest onto her right cheek.

'No.'

'Phenomenal. I've endured your mental breakdowns for the past four months, so I'll guess another few won't kill me. I mean...' She pointed at the left side of her face. The scars were getting less red by the day, but we both knew - they weren't going anywhere anytime soon. 'I've survived that. But still, (Y/N). You're hopeless.'

'I'm considerate.'

'You were.' Nobara nodded, catching my glance in the mirror. 'But he's fine now. Or... relatively fine.' She shrugged. 'Whatever. It's not gonna get worse. Someone has to unpack his trauma. You're the best choice. You were the first one to crack the 'fushigover' joke, weren't you?'

I was. And I wasn't particularly proud of that.

'I was drunk. And you were the one who gave me that... Vodka Sour, so it's technically your fault.' Alcohol wasn't my best friend, but Nobara and booze got along pretty well, so sometimes I got dragged somewhere in between them. 'I... Can you even imagine that?' I turned around to face Kugisaki. 'What would I say? Hi, Fushiguro. I've just wanted to tell you that I think I might kinda love you. I know you probably have more important things on your mind than that, but I was about to explode, so please, just don't think about it too much.'

'You're hopeless.'

'I'm realistic', I corrected. My morning routine was over. I was ready to go out. Finally. ‘I can’t just go out like that. It’ll be a disaster.'

'GIRLS!' Somebody opened the door and barged inside my room. 'Have you heard? He's back!' Yuuji suddenly appeared next to Nobara. His eyes shone in excitement. 'Fushiguro's finally back!'

My heart skipped a beat.

'Already? Gojo's back too?'

'Yup.' Yuuji nodded and looked at me. 'Oh, (Y/N). He wants to talk to you.'

I frowned. Gojo wanted to talk to me? Right after he and Fushiguro came back from Kioto? That was... surprising, to say at least.

'Now?'

'Yeah. Asap. That's why I came actually.' Yuuji smiled. He was an angel. 'I kinda got too excited. Oh, is that THAT SPF?'

I exchanged a look with Nobara. She seemed quite amused, but a small crease forming on her formed made feel me a little anxious.

Praying I wouldn't see Fushiguro on my way to the Gojo's office, I almost run through the corridors. I've been desperate to see him for the past few weeks, but when the day finally came, I wish I could fall under the face of the Earth and never come back.

It's been almost a month since Gojo got Fushiguro out. Or rather, since Gojo got Sukuna out of Fushiguro's body. That day... I couldn't say I remembered it very well because of the sheer amount of emotions I went through, but even the slightest thought of Megumi's body, laying there lifeless, was making me shake. Oh, that picture was tattooed in my head.

If only you could erase it.

'You're leaking.' That was the first thing I've heard when I entered the room.

'Huh?'

The white-haired man sat in front of me. His gaze was piercing. Gojo smiled and pointed a finger on me.

'I've been wondering for a while now. Sukuna is hiding somewhere, so some disturbances are normal. I'd be surprised, if there weren't any.' Gojo scratched his head. 'But the amounts of cursed energy in this school are ridiculously unbalanced. So I figured, someone has to be in a very bad state.' Gojo crossed his arms, but he didn't really look intimidating - rather amused. 'And it's you.'

'Me.' I repeated after him, not really sure, what to think. 'That's...'

Gojo tilted his head a bit, looking like a curious puppy. No way this man was the most powerful sorcerer.

'That's a very suggestive thing to say.'

The sorcerer chuckled and stood up.

'That was a good one. But nah. Your cursed energy is leaking out of you.'

If Gojo was joking, then the joke didn't sit right at all. What was even worse, most of the jokes we usually cracked together landed perfectly, so combining that with his piercing gaze made me feel even more confused. He wasn't joking. He was serious.

'(Y/N), I seriously adore you. And your sense of humour is just the best. But I've had my eyes on you since that day.' The stronger sorcerer alive, my ass. He suddenly looked somehow apologetic. 'I don't think...' He sighed and I felt weak. 'Let me put it this way. I felt your cursed energy during the fight, even though you were pretty far away. How is that possible?'

'I...' I was speechless. 'I have no idea.'

'You lost control. And you haven't regained it ever since.'

'It's not possible.' I panicked a little when I realised that my voice was actually shaking. 'I've got it all under control. I don't feel bad. Or any different.'

'You're lying.'

I was.

'You have to get it sorted out as soon as possible, otherwise we're going to have our hands full again. And I seriously want a break.' I've never heard Gojo speak like that. Right there, in that moment, he seemed... tired. 'But anyway, congratulations.'

'What for?'

'For getting him out.' The air in the room suddenly became colder. 'If it wasn't for your cursed energy, things might have been... different.' Gojo's gaze wandered for a second, looking for something behind the window. When he finally turned back to me, his fatigue vanished instantly. 'Whatever. I'm glad it happened. Just get it under control. Want some mochi?'

'Yeah.' I needed the sugar to process everything my teacher has just said. 'Maybe even two.'

'Take three.' Chewy rice balls felt somehow calming. 'Oh, and Megumi can't wait to see you. He was sulking most of the time in Kioto, but seemed weirdly excited to come back. And I'm good at connecting the dots. If your cursed technique was able to get his will to live back, then I guess he'll be more than happy to see you.' Gojo stretched his arms. 'Just don't scare him.'

'With what?'

'You know.' Yeah, I had it coming. 'The leaking. Megumi's inexperienced.'

'That was awful.'

'I know. But you laughed.'

I guess I really did.

———

It's really going to be an unhinged series. But we're going to have a lot of fun. Muahaha

[the-final-sif]

Finally, c!Drunz like we all deserve.

Dream felt a hand gently touching his shoulder, it was a light push, just enough to rouse him before an instant retreat. A familiar gesture, but this time, a comforting one.

Or, well, the person was comforting. Their presence in this moment was concerning. Still, his body was too tired to provide him with any kind of panic. Not when it recognized those hands.

Dream groaned softly. His headache wasn't quite gone, but his ears did feel better. He could at least turn his head with only a moderate stab of pain.

Slowly, he roused himself, pushing himself upward and rubbing at his eyes before properly taking in Punz in front of him. The bedside lamp was still off, but Punz had a small redstone lantern that lit up enough for both of them to see.

Taking a quick sniff, Dream determined that Punz wasn't hurt. That was good. It didn't explain what he was doing there though.

Punz waited for Dream to settle in an upright position before carefully moving to tap his communicator in an obvious signal.

Rather than grab his own communicator, Dream checked the time and tested his hearing. It'd only been a few hours since his ear drops. And his ears felt better than they had in days.

"Talk. I think I'll be able to hear you. Just, slow."

Punz nodded, and thankfully raised the light just a bit so his lips could be clearly made out.

"Sam's asleep, I've got invis if I need it. Needed to make sure you were okay."

The unspoken 'because of what happened last time' was loud and clear, regardless of Dream's hearing issues.

As much as Dream wanted to be annoyed, one look at the dark circles under Punz's eyes quashed those feelings. Guilt prickled at his chest.

Punz had seen almost all of the... aftermath of the prison. Had helped Dream through the worst of it. Dream could hardly fault him for worrying.

"I'm-" and he cut himself off from saying fine, because it would be a lie and lying right now would only put Punz on edge. "I'm recovering well." Better. "Ponk did a good job. If Sam was going to try something, he would've done it when I was weaker. My ears are getting better. Ponk should be back in a few days."

While Punz didn't look entirely convinced, he still nodded, before reaching out a hand in a silent request. One Dream didn't mind complying with.

Dream shuffled out from under the blankets. He was only wearing a t-shirt and shorts, so there wasn't a need for him to remove anything. He gave a single instruction before letting his eyes slip shut, "Be careful with my ears, they're sore."

He didn't need to look to know Punz would listen. Punz always listened.

Gentle hands reached out, starting with Dream's fingers and working slowly towards his shoulder. Checking old wounds and searching carefully for new ones.

When Punz finished with Dream's arms, he moved on to his shoulders, lifting his shirt carefully to check for anything new, making his way down in a familiar motion.

Dream's legs were new, at least in this state. That was evident in how Punz's movements got hesitant once he reached fur. Still, he persisted. Carding his fingers through the soft texture to search for any lingering injuries.

He paused on the left leg, hovering, and Dream answered the unasked question.

"Warden got my leg. Hunters threw a net at me, so it got a hit in. Ponk set it already and it doesn't even hurt anymore."

"Got it." And the inspection continued.

Dream found himself almost drifting off at the familiar and comforting motions. The two of them had built a habit of inspections up after the prison. Dream's own pain threshold had gotten so fucked that he failed to notice infections and new injuries until they escalated to a dangerous degree. Having an outside check prevented that situation.

It took several more minutes for Punz to completely go over Dream's legs, and Dream found himself half asleep. He had to shake himself before tilting his head forward to allow Punz access.

When Punz touched his head, he carefully skirted Dream's neck, instead moving to smooth out the tangles in his hair and gently feel for any sign of blood or trauma.

Dream's ears were moved incredibly gently, it still sent a soft ache through his head, but it was tolerable. He could feel the warmth from the redstone lantern and the soft puffs of breath from Punz as he carefully took in the damage.

Eventually, Dream passed the test. Punz let out a sigh of relief that he felt more than he heard. Then the other man was flopping down on the bed next to him. It was risky, it was stupid, but Dream was too tired to argue. He just let Punz pull him down into a protective embrace.

Punz would be gone when he woke up, Dream knew he would be, and that was fine. Even if Punz wasn't there physically, Dream knew his loyal friend wouldn't be far away, and he knew for a fact Punz wouldn't let anything else happen to him.

For the first time since he got grabbed, Dream felt himself relaxing and falling into a proper sleep, feeling safe enough to let go.

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

Wh-

What the f-

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELLO EXCUSE ME WHAT-

Yeah. This is fine. This is great, even! I'm just scrolling around on Tumblr, havin a good time, then I see some asks talking about the new page and I get excited. I riot in my head, even! I squeal with joy because I absolutely adore your art!

Then Sonic pushes Shadow away and my heart breaks in half.

wtf /pos and /lh

I wanna psychoanalyze this so fuccin bad so I'm gonna try my best but everything is so clear and easy to see so idk how obvious this will all be. I'll have a TLDR at the end that will hopefully be shorter idfk

Also before I do that I just wanna say that I absolutely love THOAM and I'm so glad I've been along on such a crazy journey for this long. Love seeing your art evolve throughout the 2 years I've been here!

ok let's get on with it already-

---

Okay so the first thing I noticed is Sonic's demeanor in this entire chapter so far. Sonic wasn't necessarily pissed at Shadow before coming here, (I still fail to remember the name of their location) but he was a bit... He seemed angered to some degree. This obviously has to do with the lack of sleep he's been getting due to his incredibly painful transformation, and uh side note here, transforming on its own would be enough to make someone feel out of sorts. I totally understand why Sonic is acting odd, in this case.

Anyway, the point I'm making is that Shadow has slowly been testing Sonic's patience throughout this and the last chapter. In the last one, Shadow said something incredibly rude and impulsive, which lead to Sonic staying behind in the dorm while Shadow and Chip were getting mawled. He only came back because he knew they were in deep trouble. The hug he got from Shadow didn't really help all that much, even if it was a kind gesture and something the Ultimate Lifeform wouldn't typically do. Because, y'know, it's just a hug. People hug others all the time, and it's not even close to a real apology.

Then Chip stayed behind with Tails. And... Suddenly, Sonic took a complete 180!

Without Chip around, without Sonic's emotional support buddy, the blue blur is left with all these pent up emotions that he's been refusing to let out for a long time. The last time he cried was days ago when he accidentally attacked Amy, and for us, that was probably like 3-4 years ago at this point. He's hardly had enough time or room to really feel anything, and that leaves him all constipated and icky. Sure, he had to kind of mellow his real feelings when Chip was around because he's just a kid in Sonic's eyes, and when Sonic lashes out it impacts Chip in a bad way. This doesn't mean Sonic feels any better without Chip, because without him, there's no hype man to make him feel better. There are no comforting words or small chit-chats for the road and no pit stops to get snacks... It's just him and Shadow now, and since they're on a pretty important mission to, you know, fix the entire fucking world, there's like no time for breaks.

Combine all this with the fact that Sonic is stuck as a Werehog for this entire chapter, and for the entirety of this specific mission... Yeah, you've got a pretty cranky hedgehog. And here's the sad part in all of this: Sonic doesn't like feeling this angry and this alone, but no one seems to really understand him anymore. Not even Shadow. They don't know what it's like living two whole lives at once, having to go through all this pain and agony for so long and not able to tell a soul. They couldn't possibly comprehend!

So how should he feel when his closest companion makes an effort to understand, even just by a little bit?

---

TL;DR

Sonic is confused and angry at the world. He doesn't understand what to do or how to act, and without Chip's support and unintentional therapy, he's just kinda... Left to his thoughts. Shadow suddenly trying to help after being not very helpful for a while made things even more confusing, and the fact Shadow never told Sonic about the constant nighttime thing... Yeeeeeaaahhh, Sonic's not doing too hot.

Hope this wasn't too long and I hope Tumblr doesn't eat this up due to its length. Thanks so much for reading to the end and thanks for just being you. Because if you didn't exist the world would explode-

<3

NEVER TOO LONG i think others also appreciate the theories ♥

[noodyl-blasstal]

Blupjeans Week Day 1

It's @blupjeansweek! Blupjeans week last year was the thing that encouraged me to start writing fics, so it's been fun to play with it again! Like last year, it's loosely connected (so far anyway!). So, now I'll stop blethering and here's some words. Day 1 - refuge

16 hours to go.

16 hours until he tanked his viva, fucked up everything he’d been working for, and his supervisor says he hadn’t ever believed Barry was capable, he just wanted his fees... Well, John would definitely say that if Barry could get hold of him but it had become abundently clear over the course of his postgrad research that John wasn’t the easiest guy to reach. Which might not be a problem if it wasn't his literal job to support Barry through his PhD.

At this point Barry hadn’t heard from him in two weeks despite a variety of progressively more panicked emails. The last conversation they had was John's particularly un-comforting statement that Barry should “...expect majors" because "it’s not the worst thesis I’ve ever read, but it certainly isn’t the best.” Barry's secondary supervisor hadn’t even bothered to show up for that meeting, so it was anyone’s guess what his take was. Barry assumed it wasn’t great.

He grabbed the pot from the coffee machine he’d abducted from the kitchen a few days ago and perched on his desk instead. He debated swigging straight from it, that seemed more efficient than using a mug, plus, his hand seemed to be shaking a bit and he didn't want to risk trying to pour it into a mug then into himself - he needed every drop to keep him awake long enough to work out how to fix this disaster.

“Knock knock! This is your 16 hour anxiety check in.” Barry’s door creaked open, but Lup didn’t appear. “Barrrrooollllld?” She sing songed, then added hopefully “...have you finally decided to sleep?” 

“Come in Lup.”

“Damn, you’re still up.” Oh, of course she was disappointed. She was probably sick of having to baby him through his anxiety. “...Not that I don’t want to see you, I was just hoping you were getting some rest.”

Barry held up the coffee pot in a cheers motion then took a swig from it. He was fine, this was fine, but if Lup left in disgust he could get back to scribbling increasingly unhinged and hard to read annotations on his sticky notes and trying to work out how to pull this disaster over the finish line. 

"Doing totally fine, huh?” Lup eyed him disapprovingly. “Barry, you have to take a break. You're going to crash in the middle of it if you keep this up. You've got what, like 15 and a bit hours?" She waited for him to nod in affirmation. "Cool, then you've got time to sleep."

He didn't have time to sleep, he had to try and plug the holes in the sinking ship that represented four years of his life. Suddenly Lup was in front of him, he hadn't noticed her moving, but she had appeared and was gently prying the sticky note monstrosity he hadn’t realised he’d picked up out of his hand. "No, I need to…"

"Sleep." Lup said. "You need to rest. There isn't a single thing in here you don't know. It's fucking brilliant, no, don't argue with me, I've read it." Barry snapped his mouth closed, he wanted to protest, but he wasn't entirely sure he could remember what he was arguing with, there was no fight left in him. "Now give me the coffee pot, Barold." He gripped it more firmly. No, not even for Lup. He couldn't relinquish this, it was the only thing keeping him awake. Lup raised and eyebrow. “Barold, don’t make me full name you. I'll do it! Hand over the pot.” Lup held her hand out expectantly.

"I'll fall asleep."

"That's the idea my guy. C'mon, gimme the sweet sweet bean juice. You don't need that where you're going."

"Where I'm…? Where am I? I'm here." Barry looked down to check.

Lup used his moment of confusion to swipe the coffee pot. Usually it wouldn’t have worked… probably, okay, it would have, but slower and he would have protested more. Right now his hands felt too heavy to even think about taking evasive action. "Yoink!" Lup said triumphantly, holding it aloft. Then he blinked and she didn't have the coffee pot any more. Maybe she magicked it somewhere? Barry turned his head to try and find it, and then she was tugging at his hand. "Not here, Bear, somewhere comfy."

"The chair's comfy, it's ergonomic." He paid a lot of money because the guy in the shop was really confident about that.

Lup snorted and tugged harder. "Barold Jorts Bluejeans, you're coming with me." 

"My name isn't…"

"...Ssssh." Lup might have been laughing. Barry wasn’t entirely sure, maybe it was him actually? Should stand? Oh, actually, he was up and moving and Lup still had hold of his hand and maybe she didn't have to let it go and she could just keep holding his hand and he could hold hers and maybe she’d have a nap with him. They stopped.

"This is your room." Barry wasn't entirely sure how they'd got there, time was doing strange things. 

"Yup, cha'girl decided you couldn't be left unattended in yours, it's too full of anxiety, even if I get you to sleep you'll marinade in it. So, we're here." Lup pushed the door wide.

Her bed had developed some kind of blanket canopy, there were string lights strewn around, and he could hear the soft patter of rain even though there wasn't a cloud in the sky. "It's… this is… magic. You made it all magic."

"Uh huh, now get in." Lup lifted a corner of blanket, it revealed a whole mess of pillows and blankets waiting inside. The bed looked so cosy, so inviting, so much better than his boring bed. He shouldn't, he really shouldn’t, he should study more, he couldn't afford to get off track. "That’s it, Bear." Oh. He was in the process of crawling in, and he was comfy. He flopped bodily into the bed and everything smelled of Lup’s orange body wash. Maybe he could just live here.

"I should do more prep." He mumbled, and sank into the pillow nest, rubbing his face on a soft fleece blanket. 

"Uh huh." Said Lup. 

"There's… I need to… you see, I have..."

"I'll wake you up in a few hours, sleep tight, Bear."

“Sleep tight Lup.” Barry mumbled from the depths of his blanket cocoon.

Part 2 here.

[swearyshera]

I’m sorry what??? You have a furry ex who (tried to?) committed murder?! Alice you can’t just share things like that and not give us the full story

Oh, there is the most batshit crazy story behind it. I'll stick it under the cut because it has next to nothing to do with the blog (other than to provide partial explanation as to why I'm like this). Cw for murder and horrifying sexual acts.

I'll also say, just before I start, that some of you may be aware of this - may even be aware of my involvement - so I'd ask you not to talk about me in relation to it too much. I've changed a few things about myself (including my name) to try and ensure a clean break from it, but I'm happy to talk about it still.

So... Cast your mind back to autumn 2008. At that time, a sprightly young 20-year-old me met a 19-year-old guy that we will call Steve (that's not his real name). Now, being woefully naïve and having at-the-time undiagnosed BPD, I was the sort of person who would fall deeply in love with anyone who showed me the slightest bit of kindness, and Steve did. He seemed caring, had a wild sense of humour, and genuinely appeared to love me back.

And what that did to me was that it made me ignore an entire truckload of red flags. His house was one level above a squat, bare floorboards and windows, no heating ("We can just snuggle under a blanket and share body heat") and I'm pretty sure he spent more money on beer and DVDs than he did on food. But I didn't seem to give a shit, those rose-tinted glasses were stuck firmly on, so I just ignored that stuff. There was worse, too, things that I felt a little uncomfortable with at the time and only realised years later were... well, let's just say I'd implore everyone to be able to identify what consent does and doesn't look like, because it's not always clear when you don't know for sure.

Anyhow, we'd been together about 4 or 5 months. He spent Christmas with me because he had no family to go to, I visited his house, played the "slightly bemused partner at the furry meet-up" role a couple of times, and things (at least to me) seemed to be great. Then one weekend in February, he mentioned that he was going to see some friends - absolutely fine by me, he did that fairly often and I didn't think anything of it. I texted him in the evening asking him how his day was, and he replied "Had a good day, but didn't go meet them".

That was the last message I got.

I didn't hear from him for the rest of the evening. Or the day after. Or the day after that. I got worried, because it wasn't like him to go silent - he wasn't even online on MSN (2000s reference!). And then I got a message from his aunty asking if I'd heard from him - that rang alarm bells. I reached out to a few of the people he knew, and no-one had heard a thing.

He'd been 'missing' for about a week and a half when I got another message from his aunty. She asked me if I knew a guy called Craig (again, not his real name), and I didn't. Then she asked me something that I can still remember verbatim to this day, she said "Do you have a loving family? You're going to need them, I'm sorry." and sent me a link to a news article. I clicked through to find a story in a local newspaper about two men being held for attempted murder. One of them was Steve.

The next few months flashed by as I found my belief about who he was completely trashed and flipped upside down. I discovered he'd been seeing multiple people behind my back, including this Craig guy, and I tried to find out what had happened, and what eventually came out was a completely other life that I didn't know about. I spoke to the Police about him, and was expecting to speak as a witness at the trial (in the end, thankfully, I did not have to do that). But the reality of what happened was fucking wild.

Steve and Craig had developed some weird-ass master/pet relationship, which led to 'role play' about killing Craig's parents. Craig felt that they were controlling and he'd only get peace if they were gone. In the trial, Steve testified that he thought it was not serious, although if that was the case, why did you fucking do it. On the night he sent the last message to me, he had been at Craig's house, made a show of saying goodbye to him and his parents, then waited in a nearby park. He played a game on his PSP to pass the time.

Later in the evening, once his parents had gone to bed, Craig texted Steve to invite him back in. Once he'd arrived, he was handed a knife and told to go upstairs and stab them which for some fucking reason he agreed to. Now Craig's dad was thankfully on the ball and wasn't quite asleep, and he fought off Steve and wrestled the knife from him, before restraining him and calling the police. Initially, Craig was thought to be an innocent bystander, but he was soon arrested too. Steve was charged with attempted murder and conspiracy to murder, Craig with conspiracy, and in court, both were convicted of conspiracy to murder (but cleared of the attempted murder charge).

If you think it doesn't get more fucked-up than that, boy, do I have a surprise for you. Imagine someone's asked you to commit murder - you'd want something in return, right? And indeed, Craig did offer Steve something. What, you ask? Money? A means of escape? Nope! For successfully killing Craig's parents, Steve would have the opportunity to bite off Craig's dick. I am not joking. If he stabbed some middle-aged people, he would get a fucking sausage sandwich.

So yeah... that's what happened. My life has been an absolute soap opera (although honestly, this seems a bit far-fetched even for that - but I swear to you, every word of it is true).

[newtonsheffield]

Josie and Sophie being Ballet WAGs is something I never knew I needed in my life until now.

Sophie being thrown around by her prim as fuck Sommelier Ballet Boyfriend… lucky lucky duck

Josie literally never would have thought that when she took her grandmother to the Royal Ballet for her birthday that she'd see Edwina Sharma dancing across the stage and fall in love with her.

Even less would she have thought that she'd be back a week later, trying to pretend her eyes weren't glued to her. And again, two weeks later. More than she's ever been to the Ballet in her entire life. She doesn't even like the ballet. She shook her head as she turned the corner away from the Opera house and runs smack-bang into her, Edwina stumbling back in surprise, her hair still pulled back, makeup mostly still on and Josie's heart stops.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry."

"You're fine." The woman brushed her off, smiling gently. "Enjoy your night."

And for the rest of her life, Josie'll be glad she called out like a lunatic after her. "I've come twice just to see you!"

She stopped, turning back to her with her eyebrow raised, "I'm sorry?"

Josie cleared her throat, cursing herself a little, "I um- I brought my grandmother, for her birthday. And... you were so good I- I came back twice more."

Edwina smiled, tilting her head, "That's sweet but I'm... not the lead dancer, I think you might have me confused with Jess. Maybe one day though."

"I'm not confused."

Something was building between them, unbelievably honestly, as their eyes met right there on the street, the light casting a glow around Edwina.

"Well um- I just- You're great." Josie ducked her head, "I'm going to go now."

She whirled around, slightly mortified, her cheeks burning suddenly desperate to get away from the quietly intimidating woman.

"Are you like... seriously not going to ask for my number?"

Josie whirled around blinking a little stupidly, "I... didn't know I could?"

She chuckled, a kind little sound, rummaging in her bag for a moment before she plucked out a pen "Why not? You're pretty and you seem cute. Can I have your hand?"

"Can I have your autograph?" Josie spat it out again, thrusting the program forward, awkwardly.

She smiled again, their fingers brushing as Edwina took it from her, flicking to the small portrait of her printed in the back, scribbling her signature quickly, a phone number printed neatly underneath.

"Maybe... you could call me. Because I think 3 times is enough to see this show."

"I'll definitely call you."

"And Maybe you want to tell me your name?"

"Fuck." Josie cursed, "It's um- I'm Josephine, Josie."

"It was nice to meet you, Josie."

"Yes, Yeah!" Josie called out as Edwina walked backwards away from her, "I'll- I'll be back though!"

And she is, a week later, after their first date, Edwina finds flowers delivered to her dressing room and she rolls her eyes, expecting to find her mum's handwriting or Kate's in the card, but it isn't. It's a little unfamiliar but it feels nice when she sees Can't wait to see you again- Josie x And when she leaves the stage door, there Josie is. Leaning against the wall.

But Sophie and Josie are the proudest royal Ballet WAGS. Unbelievable. Wearing their partner's Royal Ballet Sweatshirts, Sophie rolling her eyes when a client says-

"Wouldn't have pegged you for a Royal Ballet fan."

"My boyfriend is in the company. I stole this off him." She sighs, "Kate's sister is as well."

They blinked, "Your boyfriend is a ballerina?"

"They're called Danseurs, actually. And yeah he is."

"He must be ripped as fuck."

And she couldn't help but smirk, "Yeah he is. Very fun to be consensually tossed around."

"That's my brother, Sophie." Anthony called out, "Don't be gross, please."

"I caught you mounting my best friend yesterday, Anthony, cool it!"

And mostly, Sophie, Kate and Josie co-ordinate their supportive trips to the ballet, all of them sat together, clapping almost too loudly.

[lemony-snickers]

“Let me help you” 

I was thinking Kakashi…surprise surprise...but really anyone you’re comfortable writing for/with…just love me some hurt/comfort (sorry if this is too vague!) hope your day is less annoying now :)

Kakashi shouldn't be here. What was he thinking?

It's bad enough he's already gotten blood on the window and now on the bathroom door.

Akami is not going to be pleased.

His fingers tremble as he tries to open the meager first aid kit she keeps under the sink. He's perched on the side of the bathtub, legs too shaky to stand.

As he sheds his flak vest, letting it fall back into the tub behind him, Kakashi wonders where Akami is. He expected her to be home when he tumbled through her window. The eerie emptiness of the house makes him uneasy so late in the evening.

Is he really here? Or has he hallucinated his return? Maybe he's still lying in that field, rain and blood pooling beneath his body--indistinguishable from one another as they mix in the mud.

Kakashi's breath heaves as he tries to apply disinfectent to the wound. He could try to heal it with medical ninjutsu, but his fingers are too shaky. And anyway, he's never been a very good medic. With his vision swimming, now, he might make the wound worse if he tried.

He yelps a little when he finally gets a good amount of the stuff on his wound. Fuck, that hurts.

He doesn't like to admit the wave of relief he feels when he hears the front door open and close, feels Akami's chakra step inside the house. He pushes the door open with his foot so she won't think someone's trying to hide from her.

Her footsteps are soft against the floor, but he can sense they're heavier than usual. Kakashi looks up when she stops in the doorway and it becomes clear why--Sasuke is asleep in her arms, head drooped against one of her shoulders.

Oh. He shouldn't have come here.

Akami glares down at him, the dark circles beneath her eyes standing starkly out against the pallor of her skin. She says nothing, just sucks her teeth and continues on to Sasuke's bedroom. Kakashi can just hear the sounds of his sheets shifting as she tucks him into bed.

He should leave. Clearly, Akami is not interested in entertaining him this evening.

When she returns to the bathroom, she closes the door behind her quietly and kneels down before him without a word. Normally, he'd love this--seeing her on her knees does things to him he isn't necessarily proud of--but she looks so exhausted now all he feels is guilt.

"Sorry," he says, his breath pushing a few strands of hair away from her face.

Her gilded eyes flick up to meet his briefly and she sighs. "It's fine."

It isn't. "I'll go."

She rolls her eyes. "Don't be stupid, you're already here. There's blood everywhere to prove it."

Kakashi winces, bites his tongue before he says sorry again, knowing she'll just be irritated if he does.

"Is Sasuke okay?" he asks instead.

Akami heaves a sigh, lets her forehead drop to Kakashi's knee. "He had a fever last night and it wouldn't go down. We've been at the Hospital all day."

Her fingers tremble almost as badly as his when she takes the disinfectant from him. He resists, not wanting to burden her any further than he already has. "Akami, it's okay, I've got it."

"Just let me help you," she snaps, glaring at him again, her pupils filed to the finest slits. "That's why you're here, right? For my help?" he nods mutely, recognizing that her irate energy is not entirely a product of his bloody appearance in her bathroom, but the culmination of all the stress Sasuke's condition surely caused her over the past twenty-four hours. "So let me help you," she repeats quietly.

"Okay," he says, relinquishing the bottle and the blood-soaked rag he'd used to apply it.

Akami cleans his wound without another word, wiping it clean and applying an antiobiotic ointment before wrapping a gauze bandage over it with much more finesse than he could have managed on his own.

"You should go to the Hospital tomorrow to have it better tended to," she says.

Normally, Kakashi would argue or lie, but he doesn't have the heart to do that to her now, so instead he threads his fingers into her hair and pulls her close so he can kiss her forehead through his mask.

"Okay," he promises, feeling her relax in his grip, her own hands coming to rest on his thighs, anchor herself. "I'm sorry about Sasuke," he says, "That must have been terrifying." She nods mutely, biting her lower lip in an uncharacteristic bid to keep her emotions from slipping out. "I'm glad he's feeling better."

Her voice is thready and thin when she answers, "Me, too."

There's still blood to clean off the window. And the doorway and the tub, but they ignore it, opting instead to make their way to Akami's bedroom where Kakashi lies on his good side and pulls her close. There will be blood to clean off the sheets in the morning, too, but that's a problem for then. All that matters now is that their breathing synchronizes, their nerves stop rapid-firing and the fight-or-flight they've both felt for different reasons over the previous hours dissipates.

Because there can be no danger while they hold one another. Akami is Kakashi's safe harbor. He thinks he might be hers, too. Suddenly, he's glad he stumbled through her window bloody and trembling and dazed. Not because she helped clean his wound, but so he can be here for her when she needs him.

There's nowhere else he'd rather be.

[popculturebuffet]

Pirate Week/Monthly Muppet Madness: The Muppet Show: Glenda Jackson (Comission for WeirdKev27)

In Loving Memory of Captain Glenda Jackson

1963-2023

Avast ye happy swabs and welcome to pirate week! Well half a week at this rate but it dosen't sound as good does it. Arrr.

Pirate Week continues a tradition going all the way back to .. last year with pirate month, simply compressed into a week because my schedule has been in freefall since my movie in june and i'm just now getting it back in order.

So to kick this one off we're bringing back some old friends. It's been a bit since the muppets themselves have featured on MMM, it's grown into being about muppet style puppetry in general, but their back in style with one of the best muppet show episodes i've seen.

For those like me not familliar with today's guest, Glenda Jackson was a classically trained actress, winning the triple crown of acting, having won two oscars, three emmy's and a tony and thus being a big deal i'm shocked I hadn't heard of sooner. She also went into politics and all in all seems throughly amazing and i'll certainly be looking into her more after this.

Despite this though when it came to the muppets... she was ENTIRELY chill. Jerry Juhl explained in the book of muppets and men which I just now know exists and now badly want..

“A problem with some guest stars is that they have strong ideas about the show -- about what they'd like to do on it -- and those ideas are not exactly original. Almost everyone wants to work with Piggy, and sometimes that's fine, but often we'd feel much happier if we could match that guest up with another puppet. I think we generally do our best work when we're given a completely free hand, as happened with Glenda Jackson, for example. We asked her if there was anything she would like to do and she said, 'You people know what you're up to. I'll do anything you write for me.'”

And what I love about this is it's clear from the episode.. Glenda didn't say this out of "Oh well I don't give a shit do whatever" syndrome. She's giving her all to the material this episode and having a fucking blast. She simply trusted one of the best creative teams on earth to do what they do and they in turn didn't let her down.

The result is both one of the best muppet show episodes, as I said, but also one of the fucking weirdest. And given this is the muppets that only adds to it. So join me under the cut to see classically trained award winning actress turn out to be a pirate and hyjack the muppet show under the cut!

We open with a standard mupet show opening: our host checking in with Pops the doorman. I see these more in later episodes, with most of the first few seasons instead doing the more memorable "5 minutes to curtain (Insert guest star name here)" with Scooter. She has a penguin sidekick for this one and I love how some guest stars will just casually have their own muppet entourage.

So after our into and standard gonzo gag (this time with a bunch of penguins and given I love me some pengys I loved this), we get our first musical number: Gonzo singing Jim Croche's working at the car wash. What I like is listening to the original while Croche did great Gonzo adds some nice pathos to it, his slower more glum tone giving it a bit of a more melancholy tone while the fact he's surrounded by his chickens and in fantasy takes the day off to go do some stuff i'd rather not competmplate iwth camilla makes it work. Solid sketch.

So Kermit goes to get Glenda.. and it's here the episode goes off the rails only a few minutes in and is all the better for it. So given free reign to do whatever they want with the guest, the writers decided.. to have Glenda be the decendant of the pirate, and with her crew (including my boy sweetums as long john silver, that'll teach kermit to keep leaving him places), mutiny's and takes over the show and shanghais it, leaving the muppet theater stuck on a boat. I paticuarlly love the bit with her pengy parrot, with Kermit snarking the guy up and down about being in a pengy desiguse, not being able to change and then having to go offscreen to do it. Sassy kermit is almost as good as depressed overworked kermit, aka relatable kermit.

The pirates then sing tie the man down.. I forgot this one happened.

Glenda has decided to take the theater ship to go search for treasure, and after one fozzie joke, they set sail to find One Piece!

Oh boo yourself I didn't have time for a once piece film this year. Let me have this.

We then get a great pirate shanty, A Captial Ship. It's a number that both shows off Jacksons pipes and just how game she is. She was handed this pretty nonsensical, if deeply hilariously weird idea and just runs with it. She has pitch perfect comedic timing (When one of her crew worries they've tied kermit too tight she quips "Don't worry his eyes always look like that) and a ton of energy. It's clear like most muppet show hosts she's having a fucking ball doing this.

We then get her parrot singing carolina in the morning... in the croakiest, most nausating voice possible. We don't even get the cahtarsis we should as Sweedish chef prepares to cook the bastard.. only for him to shoot him.

We then get some more antics on deck as Scooter gets seasick, complete with a brand new puppet. And I have to agree wtih muppets fansite tough pigs.. this puppet is all time great muppet stuff.

Especially since they had to make an ENTIRE MUPPET just to do this one gag. Which isn't unsuual for them and probably easier because they know how to make a scooter, but it's still bonkers they put in all that extra work for one sight gag and I salute it.

We get a segment of At the Dance, my faviorite recurring muppet show segment. For those who haven't seen this one, the muppets do a ballroom dance. Usually their pretty good but the jokes here just aren't the strongest and most of it is the boat is moving and knocking everything about. A real disapointment especially since it's a rare gimmicky one that has a certain theme.

We then get Muppet Sports and this one is fun as Lou interviews a crewman whose yard arming, i.e. hainging onto the yard arm of the ship (the thing that comes out of the crows nest that you climbed in donkey kong). He naturally falls thanks to looking down just 5 minutes shy of a world record and even more naturally takes Lou with him. A fun skit, mostly for the ending but I love that they were able to adapt every sketch after the first for this new gimmick. It's still the usual runners but fit sthe perfomers being stuck on a ship.

We then get.. the weakest part of the episode. Shakey Sanchez, the nights intended performer is donig a bomb juggling act. That on a rocky ship.. would work and be geninely funny either because he dosen't drop them and then casually whoopsies or because of all of the explosions. What we get.. is piggy threatning to tip them because she tips the ship wherever she walks. BECAUSE GET IT SHE'S OVERWEIGHT. HA HA. And look I do think you can make an overweight joke work in two circumstances: If it's clearly in good faith by someone who has some weight , like moi, or it's so cartoony and over the top it's less fat shaming and more just plain slapstick, like 80% of the jokes from the critic or this joke from family guy.

In this case it's just "THIS WOMAN IS HEFTY AIN'T THAT FUNNY" which no. It isn't. Your just an asshole. I'm not the biggest Piggy fan but of all the things nto make fun of her for, you choose a non issue? Really?

This also causes a VERY rare event: Kermit ... tries to stop the show

Keep in mind just HOW much shit Kermit goes through on a nightly basis. He didn't stop the show when Alice Cooper kept making deals for satan or when they had to do it at a train station. It just boggles the mind to think just how much this guy can normally take.. and after this too. He dosen't do this after and genuinely dosen't quit unless really pushed. After being kidnapped by a guest who sailed the theater away into the open sea what besides personal issues COULD POSSIBLY BREAK YOU.

We get our finale a battle at sea and my faviorite part. Not only is the song top notch but we get a lot of fun as Gonzo storms the ship to take it back, his chickens as his crew and some human canonballs as his ammo. It's truly awesome and wonderfuly caathartic to see the muppets take their show back. Sadly Glenda fakes just getting to into the bit and ends up winning, but frankly this episode is so insanely redieculous it works. Roll credits. This episode.. has quickly become one of my faviorite muppet show episodes. Not EVERY segment lands, like I said there's a few duds.. but the theme, Jackson's performance and the music is so damn fun you don't dwell on the weaker segments for long and instead just have a lot of fun with the insanity that's unfoldlding. Glenda Jackson trusted they knew what they were doing.. and unsuprisingly the muppet show crew absolutely did. Thanks for reading.

[psn-stalling]

Musharna Mail!

You find yourself in front of a cave, facing down a girl with a small Pokemon beside her. Your heart aches, and there's a pit in your stomach as you challenge her to a battle. It's all you can do anymore. Your last chance.

Your voice shakes while you do. Pathetic. So pathetic. Your hand hurts. It hurts like hell, and you can barely even hold your Pokeballs. It might be broken, or at least sprained. You don't know. You don't really care, either. You hardly care about anything right now. You feel sick. Why is this happening? You don't understand. It wasn't supposed to be like this...

Your mind is hazy as you send out your Pokemon. You barely register any of it. You can hardly even see through your tears. You can't hear anything over your own thoughts. Your head hurts, and you feel like you're being stabbed, and with each Pokemon that gets knocked out, the knife only gets twisted further.

By the time that you process your loss, the girl has already moved onto battling the Pokemon that had been with her. A Pokemon you know too well. One you've adored for your entire life. You only ever wanted to be its friend. Friend. What a joke. Someone like you never gets friends. You had thought the girl was your friend. You realized too late that wasn't true. She was using you just like all the others. Laughing at you behind your back. That becomes all too clear as you watch her throw the Pokeball.

One shake. Two shakes. Click. Just like that. Just like that, she'd finally taken everything from you. Everything you had left. As if playing with your feelings wasn't enough. As if LYING wasn't enough. Of course she had to crush your dream, too. Right in front of you. You stumble a bit before collapsing. Your knees get scraped on the stone as you hit the ground, feeling your heart shatter as the tears stream down your face. It's not fair. It's not fair-

If only you weren't so weak. If only you weren't so pathetic. If only you weren't such a coward. If only you weren't so naive. Maybe then. Maybe then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe then you would've been respected. Maybe then they would've told you the truth. Maybe then you would've been the one to catch her. Maybe then you wouldn't have gotten hurt. If only. If only.

There's a horrible, burning agony you can feel down to your bones, and a bitter resentment caught in your throat, as one clear thought consumes your mind before you wake up: You have to get stronger. Stronger so you can win next time. Stronger so you can prove you're worth something. Stronger so that nobody laughs at you anymore. Stronger so that you never have to feel this kind of pain again. Stronger and stronger and stronger, no matter what it takes-

I don't-

I don't like this. It's too familiar. I think that's in Kitakami...?

That feels awful. This is on par with the usual night terrors-

I'm not relapsing into that mindset but Arc, that's going to weigh on my mind for a little while at the least- who the fuck went through that?!

I think I'm just going to stay awake tonight. I don't need this to reoccur or some dumb shit like that. I'll be fine, I've pulled one too many all-nighters anyways.

I'll just go make some coffee.

[katatonicimpression]

uncanny avengers overall thoughts

First, my fave:

my worst prediction for this series was, going off the covers, that Monet was going to be in Penance the entire time in this series, and it would just double down on the worst of all of that. On this front I was pleasantly surprised.

Monet was mostly in character, she broadly speaking felt like herself and looked liked herself. The art in this series was pretty mid in my opinion, but there were a few moments where she looked very much like she did in the bulk of Generation X which I appreciated

I think I've already said that her behaviour in this series is not very in tune with how she would act if all her friends were just murdered. In this series she's briefly violent and vengeance-y, and then just chipper and flirty. Neither really works that well for her (her reaction would more realistically be depressive and inward facing, which would be in keeping with past characterisation). However, given that I don't think duggan would write anything serious for her other than "revenge stabby", I'm glad we got levity instead.

I did not need to see her and kwannon join the line up of characters featured in duggan's "step on me mommy" fantasy series, but at least it was brief.

While I am glad that she's protrayed here almost entirely using her orginal power set and not just the penance thing, it's worth saying that she's nerfed to hell and back in this. She is portrayed as flying sort of once, but in a panel where natasha is doing the same thing so... yeah i'd say that duggan forgot she can do that. She's portrayed as less strong than steve, and as vulnerable to pretty basic injuries. Like... no... she's "lift a car over her head" strong and invulnerable to most injuries. Get it right. Also, every time she uses her telepathy, kwannon inexplicably "helps" her with it. Weird. Bad.

Second, my nemesis:

the fact that this was planned as a 5 issue limited run probably did duggan a lot of favours. His worst habits are curbed by having a set end point in sight and no time to meander about. We didn't get countless dropped threads and subplots that disappear as quickly as they're introduced.

We do see his thing for including a fave of his for no clear reason and with no obvious plan for what do actually do with them (natasha in this case), and that general sense of a lack of point. In general, we also get his hero-worshippy/fanfic esque tendencies in how he treats certain characters.

Maybe it's mean of me to bitch and moan about this guy when it comes to a series that is overall pretty average and hardly rage-inducing. But I do have a point here (if perhaps an unkind one)

Every time a new title is announced with his name attached, some people with be excited and some will roll their eyes. And the excited ones will say "why are you so pessimistic, he wrote xyz and they were fine?". And the eye-rollers will say "No. they weren't. Either they're the first comics you've read so you're not comparing them to anything, or they just didn't do anything with any of your serious faves so you didn't notice."

And that's condescending, but it's fucking true. Every few months another batch of fans start to hate this guy, and it's because he's done something dumb with characters/ideas they care about. But it's never just that thing. It's what he does with nearly everything, and it's just taking forever to people to notice that he's a hack.

and this isn't just fandomy "my fave got a bad shake", although that is how the salt tends to start. With duggan, the technical skill is not there. He can't structure a story to save his life. He loses focus, consistently imparts the opposite of his intentions, and wouldn't know a theme if it slapped him in the face.. and then stepped on him... in high heels.

Thirdly, a weird thing:

ok i've calmed down i'll stop being mean. except...

i think i kind of hate steve a little...

...

...

ok that's unfair. But I am bored with him. I'm bored of this. The same repetative character beats and endless hero worship. In the 70s cap comics, they're not afraid to portray him negatively. Like, they know you'll root for him anyway, so let him be a mixed bag at times, let the story not flatter him at all times. But they've stopped doing that. It's weird.

Evil Stevil could be used as a beat to explore flaws in steve's actual personality, you know? A dark mirror. Or, he could be used to hash out Sam's complicated feelings about his ex-partner (a concept explored more interestingly in fan discussions than in the text so far imo). But no. Here, it's "wow isn't real steve so great compared to blond hitler!". And like, yeah. Whatever.

Yeah I don't really want to discuss this I think i'm just feeling fed up and annoyed

[naturalbornlosers]

actually. i dont normally get this personal so i might delete this later but geez i need somewhere to put this or i'll go insane.

we lost my grandfather a year ago and Christmas has sucked ass this year. i'm overstimulated and exhausted. my family doesn't even try to connect with me. it's like i dont fucking exist anymore to them except as a problem-solver ("can you help me find xyz?") or a piece of furniture or someone to dictate later plans to or a fucking memory pad ("don't let me forget,") or a problem. we try to eat dinner together and i dont open my mouth a moment in the conversation bc there's no opening for me, there's no topic i can contribute to, no one even tries to include me, and the only time i'm spoken to is to tell me plans we're doing later. i wanna make something with my family and it gets brushed off. i wanna do something, it gets brushed off. i bought us a game to play and we're taking it down when we take my grandmother back home bc no one could be assed to remember to play it even though i made sure it appealed to all of our interests.

my mom made a joke about "oh we're just giving you money because we have no idea what you want haha!" and while yeah, i am grateful for the money, it fucking SUCKS that every time ive talked to her about my interests - about our shared interests and hobbies, too - it sounds like it's gone in one ear and right out the other!! i've shown her in person things i would like to eventually get in the future, all year. and it's like… none of it matters. no one tries. no one tries when it's me, but everyone else gets thoughtful things and i'm even still planning to get more things for my mom and my grandmother. no one tries to engage with my interests. my interests actually get made fun of here and there or outright dismissed ("i'm sure [person] doesn't wanna hear about xyz" is said often when im infodumping) and everything i like is trivial. everything i like is fodder to be mocked by my moms husband and just goes in one ear out the other with my mom and my grandmother has no idea what to do with my interests.

and, fuck, now my family doesnt believe i have endometriosis or pcos bc my ultrasound came back fine even though i explained to them repeatedly that it may not show up on an ultrasound. they dont want me to get a second opinion. they dont think its worth it, trying to find out why im in so much pain i miss class/life events and why im so sick and fatigued every month i cant leave the house sometimes. i just sit around like a decoration. i get teased for being on my phone. i get teased for not eating the same things everyone else does. and to top it all off, my moms husband vaguely threatened me tonight in front of everyone and no one did a fucking thing. no one even acknowledged that he just flat out went "dont do xyz, if you do xyz, there's gonna be a problem" in a very clear manner of 'you are going to be in deep shit'. which is fucking tiresome bc he tried to kick me out three separate times in 2020. once bc my bathroom wasn't tidy enough (just a bit cluttered, but i dont have much counter space, so naturally it was cluttered), once bc he wanted to turn my bedroom into storage and have me move into the attic spare room, and once bc "this is my castle and i am the king and if you don't like it you can leave". this was during a time i had no friends irl, no bank account, couldn't drive, no job, nobody around i could go to… he knew full well he could just toss me out and no one would say a fucking word.

i'm learning how to drive. and then i'll get a job. and then i'll move out. and then i'll put this shit behind me. but i fucking hate being in a room full of my family and feeling like none of them know me. that i'm entirely alone. that i don't fucking exist and everything i am is trivial and doesn't matter. if i make plans, there's a high chance they wont happen or will get changed last minute and then i get mocked for being upset about it like i'm a child who doesn't get how the world works. i'm twenty four. i'm young for sure, but fucking hell, i'm not six.

i just don't wanna be here. i'm gonna keep on keepin' on. but i want things to change for the better and i know they wont until i move out. i just don't believe i will actually, ever, leave this house. ughh. i'll survive but holy shit i'm gonna be screaming the entire time.