#to change that. nobody of any race or ethnicity should move here because it's a garbage country

[meezer]

as opposed to americans, who have historically been extremely accepting of both poc and "different types of white"

[olderthannetfic]

I'm a Chinese, nationally and racially. Racial projection seems to be a common practice in western fandom, doesn't it? I find it a bit... weird to witness the drama ignited upon shipping individuals with different races, or the tendency to separate characters into different "colors" even though the world setting doesn't divide races like that. Such practice isn't a thing here. Mind explaining a bit on this phenomenon?

--

Sure, I can try. But of course, fish aren’t very good at explaining the water they swim in.

Americans aren’t good at detecting our own Americanness, and a lot of what you’re seeing is very much culturally American rather than Western in general. (In much of Europe, “race” is a concept used by racists, or so I’m told, unlike in the US where it’s seen more neutrally.) Majority group members (i.e. me, a white girl) aren’t usually the savviest about minority issues, but I’ll give it a shot.

The big picture is that most US race stuff boils down to our attempts to justify and maintain slavery and that dynamic being applied, awkwardly, to everyone else too, even years after we abolished slavery.

There’s a concept called the “one drop rule” where a person is “black” if they have even one drop of black blood.

We used to outlaw “interracial” marriage until quite recently. (That meant marriage between black people and white people with Asians and Hispanic people and others wedged in awkwardly.) Here’s the Wikipedia article on this, which contains the following map showing when we legalized interracial marriage. The red states are 1967.

That’s within living memory for a ton of people! Yellow is 1948 to 1967. This is just not very long ago at all. (Hell, we only fully banned slavery in 1865, which is also just not that long ago when it comes to human culture.)

Why did we have this bananas-crazy set of laws and this idiotic notion that one remote ancestor defines who you are? It boils down to slavery requiring a constant reaffirming that black people are all the same (and subhuman) while white people are all this completely separate category. The minute you start intermarrying, all of that breaks down. This was particularly important in our history because our system of slavery involved the kids of slaves being slaves and nobody really buying their way out. Globally, historically, there are other systems of slavery where there was more mobility or where enslaved people were debtors with a similar background to owners, and thus the people in power were less threatened by ambiguity in identity.

Post-slavery, this shit hung around because it was in the interests of the people in power to maintain a similar status quo where black people are fundamentally Other.

A lot of our obsession with who counts as what is simply a legacy of our racist past that produced our racist present.

--

The other big factor in American concepts of identity is that we see ourselves as a nation of immigrants (ignoring our indigenous peoples, as usual). A lot of people’s families arrived here relatively recently, and we often don’t have good records of exactly where they were from, even aside from enslaved people who obviously wouldn’t have those records. Plenty of people still identify with a general nationality (”Italian-American” and such), but the nuance the family might once have had (specific region of Italy, specific hometown) is often lost. Yeah, I know every place has immigrants, and lots of people don’t have good records, but the US is one of those countries where families have on average moved around a lot more and a lot more recently than some, and it affects our concepts of identity. I think some of the willingness to buy into the idea of “races” rather than “ethnicities” has to do with this flattening of identity.

New immigrant groups were often seen as Other and lesser, but over time, the ones who could manage it got added to our concept of “whiteness”, which gave them access to those same social and economic privileges.

Skin color is a big part of this. In a system that is founded on there being two categories, white owners and black slaves, skin color is obviously going to be about that rather than being more of a class marker like it is in a lot of the world.

But it’s not all about skin color since we have plenty of Europeans with somewhat darker skin who are seen as generically white here, while very pale Asians are not. I’m not super familiar with all of the history of anti-Asian racism in the US, but I think this persistent Otherness probably boils down to Western powers trying to justify colonial activities in Asia plus a bunch of religious bullshit about predominantly Christian nations vs. ones that are predominantly Buddhist or some other religion.

In fact, a lot of racist archetypes in English can be traced back to England’s earliest colonial efforts in Ireland. Justifying colonizing Those People because they’re subhuman and/or ignorant and in need of paternalistic rulers or religious conversion is at the bottom of a lot of racist notions. Ironic that we now see Irish people as clearly “white”.

--

There are a lot of racist porn tropes and racist cultural baggage here around the idea of black people being animalistic. Racist white people think black men want to rape/steal white women from white men. Black women get seen as hypersexual and aggressive. If this sounds like white people projecting in order to justify murder and rape... well, it is.

Similar tropes get applied to a lot of groups, often including Hispanic and Middle Eastern people, though East Asians come in more for creepy fantasies about endlessly submissive and promiscuous women. This nonsense already existed, but it was certainly not helped by WWII servicemen from here and their experiences in Asia. Again, it’s a projection to justify shitty behavior as what the party with less power was “asking for”.

In porn and even romance novels, this tends to turn up as a white character the audience is supposed to identify with paired with an exotic, mysterious Other or an animalistic sexy rapist Other.

A lot of fandoms are based on US media, so all of our racist bullshit does apply to the casting and writing of those, whether or not the fic is by Americans or replicating our racist porn tropes.

(Obviously, things get pretty hilarious and infuriating once Americans get into c-dramas and try to apply the exact same ideas unchanged to mainstream media about the majority group made by a huge and powerful country.)

--

Politically, within the US, white people have had most of the power most of the time. We also make up a big chunk of the population. (This is starting to change in some areas, which has assholes scared shitless.) This means that other groups tend to band together to accomplish shared political goals. They’re minorities here, so they get lumped together.

A lot of Americans become used to seeing the world in terms of “white people” who are powerful oppressors and “people of color” who are oppressed minorities. They’re trying to be progressive and help people with less power, and that’s good, but it obviously becomes awkward when it’s over-applied to looking at, say, China.

--

Now... fandom...

I find that fandom, in general, has a bad habit of holding things to double standards: queer things must be Good Representation™ even when they’re not being produced for that purpose. Same for ethnic minorities or any other minority. US-influenced parts of fandom (which includes a lot of English-speaking fandom) tend to not be very good at accepting that things are just fantasy. This has gotten worse in recent years.

As fandom has gotten more mainstream here, general media criticism about better representation (both in terms of number of characters and in terms of how they’re portrayed) has turned into fanfic criticism (not enough fics about ship X, too many about ship Y, problematic tropes that should not be applied to ship X, etc.). I find this extremely misguided considering the smaller reach of fandom but, more importantly, the lack of barriers to entry. If you think my AO3 fic sucks, you can make an account and post other fic that will be just as findable. You don’t need money or industry connections or to pass any particular hurdle to get your work out there too.

People also (understandably) tend to be hypersensitive to anything that looks like a racist porn trope. My feeling is that many of these are general porn tropes and people are reaching. There are specific tropes where black guys are given a huge dick as part of showing that they’re animalistic and hypersexual, but big dicks are really common in porn in general. The latter doesn’t automatically mean you’re doing the former unless there are other elements present. A/B/O or dubcon doesn’t mean it’s this racist trope either, not unless certain cliched elements are present. OTOH, it’s not hard for a/b/o tropes to feel close to “animalistic guy is rapey”, so I can see why it often bothers people.

A huge, huge, huge proportion of wank is “all rape fantasies are bad” crap too, which muddies the waters. I think a lot of people use “it’s racist” as an easy way to force others to agree with their incorrect claims that dubcon, noncon, a/b/o, etc. are fundamentally bad. Many fans, especially white fans, feel like they don’t know enough to refute claims of racism, so they cave to such arguments even when they’re transparently disingenuous.

--

Not everyone here thinks this way. I know plenty of people offline, particularly a lot of nonwhite people, who think fandom discourse is idiotic and that the people “protecting” people or characters of color are far more racist than the people writing “bad” fic or shipping the wrong thing.

But in general, I’d say that the stuff above is why a lot of us see the world as white people in power vs. everyone else as oppressed victims, interracial relationships as fraught, and porn about them as suspect. Basically, it’s people trying to be more progressive and aware but sometimes causing more harm than good when those attempts go awry.

[mcustorm]

In Defense of a Black Cyclops

In case my username didn’t make it clear, the single most anticipated visual project for me is the MCU’s interpretation of the X-Men, which hasn’t even been announced yet [officially]. And ladies and gents, I have found your Cyclops:

Good ol’ Alfred Enoch, who we all know from Harry Potter and How to Get Away With Murder. If you’re not familiar with HTGAWM, know that his character goes from the de facto leader of the ragtag (murderers) and most cherished protege of Viola Davis’ Professor X to taking more of a grimdark turn after his girlfriend’s death. Sound at least somewhat familiar?

Enoch also embodies the physicality of the character well, seeing as to how he’s “slim”, 6′4(!!), black, and notoriously lanky. Wait, one of these isn’t like the others.

In general I hate fancasting. Everyone generally picks from the same pool of about 30 actors (Peeps, neither Taron nor Daniel is a good Wolverine choice. Argue with your mother!), and most all of it is based on physicality, except when it absolutely should be (like say, choosing a ~5′10 dark-skinned black woman for Storm).

And I think there’s some malarkey afoot. I think there needs to be some serious consideration on part of fancasters and actual casting agents alike to rethink race when it comes to the [white] X-Men, especially since they’re the X-Men of all teams. So I’ll make the case for a black Cyclops: 

1. There is no quota on Black X-Men: There’s a bug in your ear that’s been whispering lies to you for years, it says something to the effect of “We need a black person on the team for diversity. How bout Storm?” And you’ve gotten complacent. Storm does not have to be the only black person on your X-Men roster.

2. The X-Men represent diversity: Iceman is gay, Cyclops and Prof. X are disabled (sorta), there are plenty of women, oh and everybody except Storm is white. Of the A-List X-Men, there is only *one* POC character. I’d argue that an MCU X-Men needs to champion diversity like never before.

3. The X-Men represent minority struggle while being mostly white: There’s a cognitive dissonance in the metaphor that has always been there, and for the most part, nobody cares. To appeal to the white readers of the 60′s, the X-Men were all initially white. That way, the message of the mutants could be related to the audience with a familiar face. We don’t need to approach the problem that way in 202?

4. Just because that’s the way it’s always been, doesn’t mean that’s the way it should be: The first line of defense. Sorry, that will never be a good justification for literally any idea. It’s time for some more critical thinking.

5. We don’t all want to be Bishop: So say you’re white and you have a kid who for his birthday having a costume party. You’ve bought some X-Men costumes and you want each kid to pick one. 9 white kids and one black kid show up to your house. As the kids deliberate who gets what costume, be it Cyke or Wolvie or whatever, you yell at everybody to “STOP!”, point to the one black kid and tell him “You’re gonna be Bishop. That’s it, end of story!” 

We don’t all want to be Bishop. The black child could have the best Cyclops interpretation within him, but you’ll never know if you don’t let him try. And that’s no different from the Black actors of Hollywood. There’s no reason why all of the black talent should *have* to compete for the role of Bishop or Storm, which I’ve discussed, while Joe Schmo can walk up and audition for literally anybody he wants.          

Jharrel Jerome is 23 and has an Emmy to his name. He needs to be in the MCU in some capacity, period. Stephan James is another. How bout Damson Idris. Ashton Sanders. But no, no, let’s fancast Dacre Montgomery or Ansel or Joe Keery again as [Human Torch, Wolverine, Iceman, Angel, I’ve literally seen it all.]

6. Nobody wants to see the B-team if it comes down to it. The next line of defense from your racebending naysayers after “That’s the way it’s always been!” is “Well, what about Psylocke, Bishop, Forge and Jubilee?” who are otherwise known as B-tier X-Men. The problem is, we’ve got limited time and limited spots.

So since the X-Men is all about wonky metaphors that make half sense, let me give you another: Let’s say somebody approaches you and says “Hey buddy, I got two free concert tickets for ya! You can either see Michael Jackson Sings the Blues, or you can go see Justin Timberlake. Free of charge!”

Now, are you used to MJ singing the blues? No! Do you have a problem with going to see Justin Timberlake? No, he’s fine on a Wednesday! He had that one little diddy we liked that one time. We’d love to see him eventually! But are you gonna say, “fuck that, I’m going to see MJ Sings the Blues” regardless? Hell yes, because that’s still Michael Jackson. He’s gonna give the same amazing performance he always does, it’s just gonna be the blues. And speaking of blues...

7. Black is not Blue, Brown is not Blue: Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard this one: “I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or green, I’m going to treat you all the same!” I will not say all have this intention, but some fancasters have noticed that the racial diversity is kinda low within the A-List X-Men, so they oh-so-generously give the following roles to a black or brown person: Iceman, Nightcrawler, Beast. 

Notice the pattern? It’s a microaggression, and it’s bullshit. What these fancasters are implicitly telling you is that, yes the actors will be black or brown, but when the action starts we can ignore that. They’ll be blue by then. In other words, you in fact do care if they’re purple or green. Nobody will cry foul if Dev Patel gets to play Nightcrawler (because that’s a common one I see), but should Anna Diop be Starfire or Michael B. Jordan be Human Torch, I bet there’d be backlash. Oh wait. If that’s you, please stop acting like you actually value diversity. You don’t want to see black or brown skin, period. Unless of course, it’s Storm (refer to point #1).

But wait, there’s more! When brown characters get whitewashed in these movies, it’s crickets! So eventually it’s revealed implicitly that proclaimers of point #4 only care about it one way.

8. Professor X should not be black if you’re not willing to change anyone else: The next line of defense is that some people say the professor should be black, if anybody HAS to be racebent. Something something MLK Jr., Civil Rights or some shit. Number one, I’m not reducing Professor X to being a magical negro for 9 white people (and Storm!) who for all intents and purposes get to have all the action. Number 2, the Professor X/MLK/Magneto/Malcolm X comparison is an oversimplifying disservice to ALL FOUR of those people. I hate that line whenever I see it, please watch a documentary my friends. 

9. The Candidates for Racebending: For me, the A-List X-Men are Cyclops, Jean Grey, Iceman, Angel, Beast, Wolverine, Storm, Gambit, Rogue, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Kitty Pryde. Now, who should be exempt from the racebending? Storm, she’s our designated minority. Gambit, he’s Cajun and they’re white (generally speaking, that’s a fun bit of research). Wolverine, Colossus, and Nightcrawler, because their nationality/ethnicity was the whole point of the Giant-Size premise in the first place. Angel, because his character embodies a privileged white male. Beast and Iceman, I don’t care one way or another (Point #7).

That leaves Cyclops, Rogue, Jean Grey, and Kitty Pryde. Now Jean Grey is a redhead, and we all know that every time a redhead is racebent people sharpen their pitchforks (Mary Jane, Wally West, Iris West), so I will cede the ground on Jean if only so that my ginger friends can get their rep. Kitty Pryde is Jewish, but Jews of color exist. Rogue is from the South. And Cyclops is, well, just Cyclops. That makes those three characters good options for more diversity. But allow me to make the case for Cyclops, specifically.

10. It’s not just diversity for diversity’s sake: If you had to pick who the main character of the X-Men is supposed to be, most would say Cyclops. And so in a series that highlights racial discrimination in society, it makes sense that our main character be black. While changing Cyclops’ skin color should not change who he is as a character, it *should* recontextualize it. Now, as an eventual increasingly radical leader of the X-Men, Cyclops would evoke real life figures such as Colin Kaepernick or, shall I say, Martin Luther King, Jr.

Not that most X-Men fans and writers truly think about what it means to be black anyways. Storm’s minority status is almost always put through the lens of her being a mutant and not her being a black woman. In other words, you can’t argue that making a character black will fundamentally change his or her character when you haven’t even analyzed the racial context of the black character(s) you already have. Another concept that the MCU X-Men should tackle: intersectionality.

11. Representation matters: I have to say it: Chadwick Boseman’s Black Panther hit different. And now he is tragically gone. At the end of the day, the MCU moving forward is down its most prominent black male superhero. Which has implications beyond just the movies themselves.

The women are in good hands. Shuri, Okoye, and Nakia are badasses in Wakanda, Valkyrie is ruling Asgard, Storm is almost assuredly on the way, RiRi Williams has already been cast, and Monica Rambeau is here and she’s not even at her most glorious yet. That doesn’t even include variable Δ, or the number of characters who can and will be racebent. And I’ll note again that to me, Gamora doesn’t count, because she’s green (#7 really pisses me off because it’s so blatant. I hate it). Of course from a behind the camera perspective we love black women getting work.

The men are a completely different story. Imma just go out and say it, I can’t stand Falcon and War Machine [in the MCU] because they’re not characters, they’re just two of a slew of MCU minority sidekicks who have essentially been at the beck and call of Captain America and Iron Man, respectively. You cannot tell Falcon’s story without mentioning Cap. The reverse is not true. There’s a whole essay that could be and have been written on “Minorities in the MCU, pre-Black Panther”. Remember, there’s a reason BP made so much noise in the first place.

So excluding those two we have, let’s see, M’Baku, Blade, and Fury who aren’t exactly the most superheroic superheroes, Eli Bradley is proooobably coming, I doubt Miles Morales is coming (because he’s just Peter Parker in the MCU), Luke Cage(?) Bishop(??), Sunspot(???), Blue Marvel(????). Not only are they not A-List, I would not put money on any of them being in the MCU any time soon.

Cyclops is thee Captain America of the X-Men. He’s the frontman. He’s the poster boy. He’s the “boy scout”, which in other words means he’s the hero, if there has to be one. It would mean a lot right now, and specifically *right now*, if he were to be black. The MCU needs it. It NEEDS it.

12. The X-Men is the Summers Story: I’ll even make the case that if just one character needs to racebent, then it should be Cyclops, because that of course implies that other related characters need to be black because half of the X-Men universe is in fact a part of the Summers family. 

So now Cable is black. Corsair is black. Havok is black. And one of the most central stories in the X-Men mythos, the Summers family drama, is now a black family drama set in space or the future or where the fuck ever. The concept is boundary pushing. When white families have drama in the media, it gets to be Game of Thrones or Star Wars, while when black families have drama in the media, it has to be black people arguing in a kitchen or living room about their various earthly traumas (I’m @’ing you, Mr. Perry). I mean, that’s all fine and good often times, but I want my black family drama in space, dammit.

And again, this is the X-Men, the series that’s all about *minorities* and their struggle, so again, why not?

Oh, and I’ll even throw out a Havok fancast for you: How bout Jharrel Jerome?

[lilohno]

BASIC QUESTIONS

First name? “Lilo.”

Surname? “Pelekai.”

Middle names? “Makamae Kailea.”

Nicknames? “Weirdlo, Freaklo. My dad used to call me Sport.”

Date of birth? “March 11th, 2002.”

Age? “Nineteen.”

PHYSICAL / APPEARANCE

Height? “5′3.”

Weight? “119.”

Build? “Small.”

Hair color? “Black.”

Hair style? “Long.”

Eye color? “Brown.”

Eye shape? “I’ve got big eyes.”

Glasses or contact lenses? “Neither!”

Distinguishing facial features? “My dimples or laugh lines or whatever they are.”

Which facial feature is most prominent? “I don’t think anything stands out that much.”

Which bodily feature is most prominent? “My hair.”

Other distinguishing features? “Hm, nothing.”

Skin? “Tan.”

Hands? “Small.”

Make up? “I don’t wear makeup often. There’s no point. It’s just going to smear when I get in the water, and I’m always in the water.”

Scars? “A small faded line on my right shin, who knows how I got that.”

Birthmarks? “I don’t have any.”

Tattoos? “Nani would kill me. I should do it.”

Physical handicaps? “None.”

Type of clothes? “I like muumuus, shorts, tank tops and grass skirts.”

How do you wear their clothes? “I rock them!”

What are their feet like? “Usually shoeless. I don’t mind flip flops and sandals, but I’d rather be barefoot.”

Race / Ethnicity? “It’s a mixed bag.”

Mannerisms? “Overexaggerating.”

Are you in good health? “Yes.”

Do you have any disabilities? “Nope.”

PERSONALITY

What words or phrases do you overuse? “I don’t think I overuse anything.”

Do you have a catchphrase? “No, but I should. That’d be cool.”

Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? “Depends on the day.”

Are you introverted or extroverted? “Extra extro.”

Do you ever put on airs? “I am who I am, you get what you get.”

What bad habits do you have? “Letting my emotions control me.”

What makes you laugh out loud? “Stanley, he’s the funniest guy I know.”

How do you display affection? “I’m a gift giver, a hand holder and a hugger. I’ll also take a lot of pictures of you. A lot.”

Mental handicaps? “Sometimes I feel like I’m emotionally immature.”

How do you want to be seen by others? “Cool! I want people to think I’m cool.”

How do you see themselves? “Different. There’s not a lot of people like me.”

How are you seen by others? “Weird.”

Strongest character trait? “I would say my resilience.”

Weakest character trait? “Refusing to ask people for help.” 

How competitive are you? “Why, what are we playing? You’re going down, buddy!”

Do you make snap judgements or take time to consider? “I consider… whether or not the snap judgement I just made was good or not.”

How do you react to praise? “I get all smiley.”

How do you react to criticism? “I’m okay with criticism if it’s actually criticism, if it’s someone being bossy or mean, I’m gonna get mouthy.”

What is your greatest fear? “Car accidents.”

What are your biggest secrets? “You’ll find out over my dead body!”

What is your philosophy of life? “Where there is love there is life. That’s by Gandhi.”

When was the last time you cried? “On the plane ride here.”

What haunts you? “The time I told my mom she was the worst mom ever. I didn’t mean it. I hope she didn’t remember that.”

What are your political views? “People should be able to love who they love, race and sex shouldn’t change a thing, and if it’s your body, it’s your choice.”

What will you stand up for? “Everything I believe in.”

Who do you quote? “My mama and my daddy.”

Are you indoorsy or outdoorsy? “Outdoors! I wish I could just hang a hammock up and sleep on the beach every night.”

What is your sinful little habit? “Sneaking pictures of strangers.”

What sense do you most rely on? “My sight.”

How do you treat people better than you? “I try to learn from them.”

How do you treat people worse than you? “They’re only worse than me because they’re a bunch of stinky bullies… and I still treat them better than they treat me.”

What quality do you most value in a friend? “Uniqueness and goodness!”

What do you consider an overrated virtue? “Tolerance. I shouldn’t have to tolerate someone else being annoying if I don’t feel like it.”

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? “I wouldn’t change anything about myself. I like myself.”

What is your obsession? “Elvis freaking Presley.”

What are your pet peeves? “Being told what to do.”

What are your idiosyncrasies? “Before we moved I had to feed Pudge the fish every day. I hope someone is still feeding him. I hope he didn’t get mad at me.”

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Is your family big or small? Who does it consist of? “It’s small. Right now there’s only me and Nani, but my mom and dad still count too. And Stanley, Stanley is my chosen family.”

What is your perception of family? “Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.”

Do you have siblings? Older or younger? “Yeah, I’m the youngest.”

Describe your best friend. “He’s accepting, he’s funny, he likes me for who I am, he’s willing to learn and grow, and he’s loyal.”

Ideal best friend? “Stanley Jookiba.”

Describe your other friends. “I don’t have any other friends.”

Describe your acquaintances. “I don’t have any of those either.”

Do you have any pets? “I wish.”

Who are your natural allies? “Just Stanley.”

Who are your surprising allies? “Is Stanley surprising? If so, him. If not, no one.”

PAST AND FUTURE

What were you like as a baby? As a child? “I was happy. I was loud and headstrong and I stuck out like a sore thumb when I tried to bond with other kids. I haven’t changed all that much.”

Did you grow up rich or poor? “We did okay until it was just me and Nani.”

Did you grow up nurtured or neglected? “Nurtured. There was so much love.”

What is the most offensive thing you ever said? “Anything I said when I was mad at my parents. I didn’t mean it. I wish I could take it back.”

What is your greatest achievement? “My wall of Polaroids. They’re beautiful.”

What was your first kiss like? “This kid at school said I was too chicken to kiss a boy, so I kissed him. He didn’t like it much.”

What is the worst thing you did to someone you loved? “I’ve caused a lot of trouble for Nani. I don’t think she even cares.”

What are your ambitions? “To stop ocean pollution once and for all.”

What advice would you give your younger self? “Hug your parents every chance you get, and keep being you.”

What smells remind you of your childhood? “Sand.”

What was your childhood ambition? “To be the best hula dancer, just like my mom.”

What is your best childhood memory? “All the times we sat outside laughing at the silly constellations m mom would make up.”

What is your worst childhood memory? “The night my parents never came back home.”

Did you have an imaginary childhood friend? “I had a few.”

When was the last time you were crushed with disappointment? “When Nani told me we had to move.”

What past act are you most ashamed of? “One time I got into a fight and bit the girl. I got in trouble. I don’t know if I’m ashamed though, she deserved it.”

What past act are you most proud of? “The hula dancing competitions I won.”

Has anyone ever saved your life? “In a way, I feel like Stanley did.”

Strongest childhood memory? “Surfing with my dad. I’d sit on the board with him when I was too young to even walk, and he’d paddle us out to the middle of the ocean. I always thought it was so cool.”

LOVE

Do you believe in love at first sight? “Maybe.”

Are you in a relationship? “Ew, no.”

How do you behave in a relationship? “I’ve never been in one.”

When did you last have sex? “No, no, no!”

What sort of sex do you have? “And I’ll say again, ew.”

Have you ever been in love? “Only with Elvis.”

Have you ever had your heart broken? “I had to go to gravestones to tell my parents I graduated high school. Yes, my heart has been broken.”

CONFLICT

How do you respond to a threat? “Swingin’.”

Are you most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? “My fists.”

What is your kryptonite? “Shaved ice.”

If you could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? “The last picture I have of my parents.”

How do you perceive strangers? “Interesting. Very interesting.”

What do you love to hate? “My big sister. I love her, but she’s annoying.”

What are your phobias? “I… I don’t like cars or storms very much.”

What is your choice of weapon? “My fists of fury!”

What living person do you most despise? “Freakin’ Mertle Edmonds.”

Have you ever been bullied or teased? “That’s all the kids back home did.”

Where do you go when you’re angry? “The beach. The ocean drowns out all of my feelings. Or I go into my bedroom and scream into a pillow.”

Who are your enemies and why? “If I had an archenemies it would be Mertle. She brought it on herself.”

WORK, EDUCATION AND HOBBIES

What is your current job? “I don’t have one, but I really need to get one. It’s getting harder and harder to afford film.”

What do you think about their current job? “Well, if you’re talking about school, it’s okay, but I’d rather be in Hawaii.”

What are some of your past jobs? “I get it! I’m a freeloader, okay? Don’t rub it in!”

What are your hobbies? “Surfing, swimming, photography, crafts, hula dancing… I may or may not dabble in a little black magic.”

Educational background? “I’m in my first year of college.”

Intelligence level? “I’m a smart kid, don’t doubt me.”

Do you have any specialist training? “No. I’m not in the CIA.”

Do you have a natural talent for something? “Surfing!”

Do you play a sport? Are you any good? “Does surfing count as a sport?”

What is their socioeconomic status? “I’m probably on the bottom.”

FAVORITES

What is your favorite animal? “Fish! I also like dogs! But fish!”

Which animal do you dislike the most? “Humans.”

What place would you most like to visit? “I’m not interested in being anywhere but home. That’s where I’d go.”

What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? “The ocean.”

What is your favorite song? “Blue Hawaii, but it’s a close tie between anything Elvis.”

Music, art, reading preferred? “Music.”

What is your favorite color? “Um… blue. Maybe.”

What is your password? “K1ngElv1sTh3K1ng.”

Favorite food: “Kalua pork.”

What is your favorite work of art? “Reflection Of You by Walfrido.”

Who is your favorite artist? “Elvis!”

What is their favorite day of the week? “Saturday.”

POSSESSIONS

What is in their fridge? “Pineapple slices. Nothing else. Well, whatever Nani has in there. I haven’t been grocery shopping yet.”

What is on your bedside table? “My lamp, a couple of seashells and one of my dad’s old books.”

What is in your car? “I don’t drive.”

What is in your bin? “A ripped up drawing I messed up on last night.”

What is in your purse or wallet? “I keep our last family picture in there or under my pillow. I have my student ID a few emergency bucks too.”

What is in your pockets? “Probably sand, some old candy and ants.”

What is their most treasured possession? “The only picture I have with my parents.”

SPIRITUALITY

Who or what is your guardian angel? “I know it’s my mom.”

Do you believe in the afterlife? “Yes.”

What are your religious views? “I just know there has to be something else.”

What do you think heaven is? “The place my parents are waiting for me.”

What do you think hell is? “Scary…”

Are you superstitious? “Very.”

What would you like to be reincarnated as? “Ooh, I wanna be a fish! Or a whale! Or maybe a dolphin!”

How would you like to die? “I don’t want to think about that. Please don’t make me think about that.”

What is your spirit animal? “The humuhumunukunukuapua’a.”

What is your zodiac sign? “Pisces.”

VALUES

What do you think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? “Belittling someone for who they are, making them feel like they have to change.”

What is your view of ‘freedom’? “Being able to swim whenever you want.”

When did you last lie? “I told Nani that it was okay we had to leave. It’s not okay.”

What’s your view of lying? “It’s not a good thing to do.”

When did you last make a promise? “A few months ago.”

Did you keep or break your last promise? “I keep my promises. All of them.”

DAILY LIFE

What are your eating habits? “I eat a lot of fruit. I love fruit.”

Do you have any allergies? “I wish I was allergic to broccoli.”

Describe your home. “Home was Kaua’i, the bedroom I grew up in, my parents’ house. What we have here isn’t a home, it’s just a house.”

Are you minimalist or a clutter hoarder? “I’m a hoarder.”

What do you do first thing on a weekday morning? “Hit snooze.”

What do you do on a Sunday afternoon? “Take a walk on the beach.”

What do you do on a Friday night? “Stay up too late watching alien documentaries and YouTube conspiracy theories. Don’t tell Nani.”

What is your soft drink of choice? “Fanta.”

What is your alcoholic drink of choice? “I cannot legally answer this question.”

MISCELLANEOUS

What or who would you dress up as for Halloween? “I’ve been all sorts of things! I’ve been a vampire, I’ve been Elvis more than once, a witch, a princess… I think I want to be a mermaid this year.”

Are you comfortable with technology? “I’m uncomfortable with how easy it is for people to hide behind a screen and be mean to each other.”

If you could save one person, who would it be? “Stanley.”

If you could call one person for help, who would it be? “Nani, if I had to.”

What is your greatest extravagance? “Camera film. That’s where all my money goes.”

What is your greatest regret? “Taking my parents for granted.”

What is your perception of redemption? “Saying sorry and meaning it. That’s all it really takes to be redeemed, isn’t it?”

What would you do if you won the lottery? “Buy my house back.”

What is your favorite fairytale? “The Ugly Duckling.”

What fairytale do you hate? “The Princess and The Pea. Who can feel a pea under that many mattresses? You can’t! Being a princess doesn’t give you some sort of other wordly status! It’s frustrating!”

Do you believe in happy endings? “I don’t know anymore.”

What is your idea of perfect happiness? “Kaua’i is happiness.”

What would you ask a fortune teller? “I’d ask them if my parents are watching over me, and if they’re proud.”

If you could travel through time, where would you go? “I’d go back to the night my mom and dad died, and I wouldn’t let them leave the house. I’d make sure they stayed safe at home with me.”

What sport do you excel at? “Dodgeball. I like chucking the balls at people’s heads.”

What sport do you suck at? “Football, it’s too confusing.”

If you could have a superpower, what would you choose? “The ability to breathe underwater!”

[cadcnce-archived]

          BIG ASS CHARACTER SHEET FOR                    FANTASY VERSE WYLAN

I found an image while going through my files for cursed pics to send @spiritmaiden​, they had the audacity to take it and fill it out for the fantasy verse of their sky-zel, so I of course have to match the effort for Wylan because I’m not about to be shown up. It’s hella involved, nobody’s getting tagged but damn if you want an exercise in hitting your character then give it a shot. Most is under the cut because of length.

Character’s Name: Zachary Reis (Born) Wylan Rechtur (Used) Character’s nicknames: Ze (by his sister) Wy (by his friends and preferred) Zephyr (mercenary name, also what you’d see on any wanted posters) Gender: Male Righty or Lefty: Righty Age: 25-26  Height: 6′-0″  Weight: ~180 lbs Eye Color: Emerald green, bright and wide filled with a mix of confidence and playfulness. Hair color: Dark brown, messy and falling to his ears. Unkempt may be a good descriptor, but he generally keeps it down flatter at the least.  Distinguishing marks: His body is pocked with marks and scars from fights and other disagreements, but the ones most easily discerned are knife scars on his hands, and a short arc above his left brow. Describe physical traits in one passage: A good way to view him is concealed strength and agility. He’s toned and in good shape but doesn’t often dress or carry himself in ways that would flaunt this. His posture and pose are loose, and his expressions can be lazy and playful. So the moment he flips that switch and uses the full brunt of his power? It’s a surprise. He’s also a bit on the lanky side, his body size doesn’t fully compliment the size of his limbs. 

FAMILY/ RELIGION

Parents: Mother and father were disappeared/dead when he was just a bit over 6 years old and his sister was an infant. They were involved with the church but not royalty themselves. Wylan never spent much time figuring out what. They had a life left for him and his sister that he threw away as well. His father was a gentle soul while his mother was razor sharp and firm. Siblings: Younger sister, Katelynn Reis, but goes by Lyn with her friends. Wylan calls her Kat. She’s ~5 years younger than he, and remains with the church training and working as a healer. Whereas Wylan ran away from being a Paladin, she stayed strong to become a Cleric.  Significant Other: Verse dependent, Wylan typically is averse to romance and prefers casual encounters.  Children: None, nor is he open to them initially in his canon.  Other relatives: None remain living that he is aware of. He and his sister were raised by his grandmother on his father’s side, but she passed away shortly after he left the knight’s academy, when Wylan was roughly 16-17.  Pets: None. But he does enjoy talking to cats. Friends: Wylan is the type who ‘knows a guy’, he’s close with many tavernkeeps and makes nice with the adventurer’s guilds and their members as well. His work as an informant necessitates things like this. Wylan is also the type to consider most anyone he encounters and converses with a friend, whether they like it or not. His best friend though would easily be a wandering adherent by the name of Emke. I don’t care what the thread is about in some way she’s involved in his life. They’re platonic soulmates. Enemies: As a mercenary and hunter, some others in his craft would consider Wylan to be their rival, and in many cases he would view them just the same. It’s hard to say he has any enemies outside of pointedly evil factions however! Relationships (other): His relationship with his sister is an odd one. They’re still in touch via letters and the occasional visit, and he does what he can to support her with his money, but they’re not close like conventional siblings. There’s a strange codependence between them. Wylan depends on Lyn as a ‘rock’, and she depends on him as the ‘sea’. Ethnicity: Human! His origins are mostly a mix of Germanic/Portuguese if you wanted a comparison to Earth races/ethnicities. Religion: He recognizes the existence of higher powers but his relationship with them isn’t the best. As if being rebellious to his parents wasn’t bad enough he has to be tsundere towards The Light. This is noted when he uses holy magic such as wards and smiting spells and getting rebound into his own body upon use. Superstitions: He’s incredibly wary around the undead and spirits. So catch him spreading salt when he has to camp somewhere less than lively. Also give him a moment to sharpen his silver weaponry...  Diction, Accent, ETC.: His dialect is pretty clean, though this depends on who he’s speaking to, being the travelling sort he is he’s capable of lightly ‘faking’ various accents, or just being lazy with his own manner of speech. Traces back to proper speaking that was drilled into him as a child and then his own rebelliousness. SCHOOL/ WORK / HOME Education (Highest): He was well learned with the academy work that he actually accomplished. While he never finished and never put his all into his studies, it was clear to his teachers that he had a gift for learning but a problem with conviction.  Degrees: None! But just so I still have something here, one of his informal titles is ‘The Gale’s Fang’. Vocation/Occupation: Jack of several trades, wrapped up best as a mercenary informant, and a monster hunter. He’s good at tracking both people and monsters and taking them down- lethally or not so much. Employment History: Wylan was fully involved with the knight’s academy from the age of 6 to 16, so for those 10 years he had his hands full dealing with that and trying to figure out himself (poorly). Upon leaving the academy after the accident, he took up arms and was given tutelage by the thieves’ guild which taught him how to use his senses and move quietly through the shadows. Wylan didn’t make a good pickpocket, but he was good at reading other people and exceptional at duels. It wasn’t long before he took the advice of the guildmaster and made better uses of his talents. Not necessarily for good, but for more profit. By the age of 22 he was an accomplished and well connected informant, bartering information as well as putting his swordwork to use headhunting and slaying monsters that made issue outside the cities in which he frequented. This continues to current/canon start of interactions. Salary: He’s affluent enough not to worry too much about his state of living, but he can be prone to splurge spending that puts him in a bind for a few weeks at a time, at least until the next job puts money back on the table. Status and money: Continuing off the above, he’s decent enough with his funds (after sending money back to help out his sister) but wouldn’t be well off enough to be considered rich compared to his modern verse. Fortunately he has enough renown that jobs aren’t too hard to come by for him. And many barkeeps and friends are willing to open a tab for him. So he’s not too desperate.  Own or Rent: Wylan typically rents inn rooms when he stays in the cities, and camps when he’s out in the woods. Technically he also owns if you count helping his sister keep her own place running (thought it’s really about 30-70, with his sister funding most of it)  Living Space: Wylan never stays long at the room. It’s a place to go back to and sleep. Personal belongings? Very few. Most things he owns that he wouldn’t want to lose stay back with his sister kept in a basement or separate room that he uses on the rare times he’s back in the capital/holy city from which he originally hailed. As you can imagine, this isn’t very often.  Work Space: N/A! He doesn’t have one! Given his work is almost entirely in the field. Main Mode of Transportation: CATCH A RIIIIIDE. Though he’s apt to have a horse around for transport if he isn’t going too far. Long voyages for when he changes locales would probably be hitching a ride with a caravan. He also doesn’t mind voyages on foot too much. PSYCHOLOGY Fears: Externally he has an aversion to ghosts and spirits. The concept of the dead coming back to haunt you isn’t something he much cares for. Having access to light magic should mostly assuage this, and yet it can give him goosebumps anyhow. Ironically he has a fear of large mammals in his modern verse but that shit doesn’t apply here given he’s a monster hunter! Internally he fears being forgotten, not making a name for himself, and dying before he can truly feel alive.  Secrets: His birth name, Zachary Reis, isn’t something he will bring up with anyone. It’s not necessarily a ‘dead name’ for him, but it’s one he threw away the same time he decided he was going to toss away his ‘fate’ as a paladin. Taking the name of Wylan was another way he took his life for himself in his mind. Despite this being a path of self destruction. His sister is also something he doesn’t often bring up unless he very much trusts that person.  IQ: Surprisingly high. He picks up a lot of information doing the work he does, but you wouldn’t be blamed for not believing this. Eating Habits: They could be a lot better. He eats enough to get by, but his diet isn’t as varied as it could be. Wylan hunts small game when he can, but he isn’t an exciting cook so ALAS. This boy prefers hitting up taverns and getting basic meals like stews, jerky, sandwiches, etc etc. Sleeping Habits: Wylan is a very light sleeper. Typically if you so much as step into the room he’s sleeping in he’ll snap into awareness. It takes a loooong day of exertion to keep him sleeping deep otherwise. Frustrating is how he ‘fakes’ being asleep. So someone could come in and start rummaging and he would still breathe and move as if he were still sleeping. Up until he sits up and stares or cracks a joke. Dare you to kiss him when you think he’s asleep.   Book Preferences: History tomes every now and then. Wylan doesn’t read much fiction and prefers any time he spends reading to be somewhat productive! Make up for other education he missed as part a result of running on the academy. He also reads up on magic and sorcery to work on the wind affinity he also has.  Music Preferences: Wylan doesn’t play any instruments but he DOES love love love to dance and sing. He’s an entertainer at heart and loves to rally people however he may. Suffice to say he’s amusing to go drinking with. And not just because he starts bar fights to amuse himself. Groups or Alone: He’s primarily a lone fighter. Some hunts he will of course work with a team of other hunters, he’s not stupid enough to take on the larger beasts by himself, but there’s a preference for doing things on his own terms. He’s self aware enough to know that his ways and methods can be grating, but ah... how all of that clashes with his desire to show off and have an audience. Being Wylan is suffering. Leader or Follower: He’s both, but prefers to be a follower if he can help it. Let other people make the plans then nudge them this way and that to better fit your own methods. He’s a prankster and a good compliment to most parties after all, so you’d be wise to utilize him! Lest he utilize himself... but that said, he’s an anti-hero, so there’s possibility in there for him to be a leader as well and take charge. It just isn’t his default nature and he’d rather not. Planned Out or Spontaneous: Wylan is chaos incarnate. Most everything he does outside of necessity/work is spontaneous. All his mischief and plans are cobbled together and thrown out there. Sometimes he’ll do a bunch of things at once, like throwing a bundle of darts at the wall to see which ones stick. And oh my fucking god don’t get me started on being romantic he can’t plan for shit in that department. Journal Entries (Do they keep one?) Nope. Not a daily journal at least. He’ll keep notebooks and the like for jotting down intel and what have you for jobs he takes up. But most of the time he’ll just have little notes in his pocket, and not really chronicle his life. He may also make ‘fake’ entries to tease people or trick them. See what he did to Zelda the one time. Be careful what you believe... Hobbies, Recreation: Tricks!! Sleight of hand!! Cards and dice!! Part of growing up and learning with a thieves’ guild is getting involved in lots of things that make use of your hands and dexterity. He likes playing random games with folks and oh! People watching. Stalking. Not the cutest thing but Wylan makes a hobby out of ‘testing himself’ and exercising his talents. His hobby is unfortunately annoying people, to summarize. How Do They Relax: His hobbies help him to relax! Also, if you can believe it, sitting back in a group conversation and watching the conversation happen and move forward. Learning about other people is something he likes doing, which is hypocritical since he can make himself so difficult to learn by contrast. BUT THE REAL THING HE DOES.. is practice sword fighting. Slow rhythmic swings of his blade, almost like a dance. He focuses his thoughts and calms his soul when he practices. It’s like a mix of swordfighting, dancing, and yoga. Controlling himself. Feeling himself. It’s multiple things.    What Excites Them?: PEOPLE. Things! Happenings! The unknown and pushing himself to new limits. Honestly one of Wy’s biggest drives is doing something or becoming something that will make him ‘Feel Alive’. Because for all of his antics and frivolity he’s very much fighting an encroaching darkness in his soul. So he’ll search out bizarre things to get involved in. It’s one of the reasons he’s bugging Zelda, because her involvement in witchcraft and his own suspicions have him interested huehue. Pet Peeves: Being ignored. Like perfectly disregarding his existence and whatever he’s getting up to. If you’re not reacting to him being him then that means he’s not being effective and he’s losing. It’s his only real weakness...  Prejudices: None. He’s not the most respectful person so most everyone, royalty or important or otherwise gets subjected to similar treatment. If anything, the more important you are the more likely you are to get annoyed! Attitudes: He’s usually with a front, a mask if you will. His general attitude is curious and nosy, but that’s fronted with a playfulness and proclivity for being annoying. Don’t be fooled, he’s usually something more pensive and calculating underneath that exterior. Wylan actually quiets a fair bit once that mask is taken away, his mood swings down and his tone is a touch deeper. Stressors: Things going awry and his friends being put in danger. He absolutely does not do well with people he cares about being hurt. One of the worst things that can happen to him is his sister dying for example, and has lead to one of his most self destructive plots I’ve written, in this verse especially. Lovers? Don’t hurt them. Don’t endanger them. The idea of rivals or enemies going after people he cares about.. hoo. MAN. None of that please. He can be SO damn possessive. In relationships he’s very self conscious as well of fulfilling their needs. So if his partner remarks, regardless of how offhandedly, they’d like more of something he will TRY TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN.  Obsessions: Being an absolute pain in the ass. And in cases where someone has wronged him or someone close to him? Tracking them down and getting closure/revenge. That shit takes him to the brink of killing himself. Addictions: None to the point of being problematic, but he does love eating pickles.  Ambitions: To make a name for himself, to be renowned and respected. To feel alive and accomplished as a person. He’d also like to take down a dragon someday. Get some armor from its scales and a sword out of that shit. As Seen by Others: Capable and dangerous, but impossible to work with for long periods. Keep a tight lip around him lest he use that information against you and learn things you’d rather keep secret. A lecherous womanizer. As Seen by Self: A body of broken glass, encased in a shell, covered in masks. Who are you? What are you? Where are you even going? You’re lost. You’re aimless. You’re swimming and swimming and eventually you’re going to be tired, aren’t you? ASTROLOGY/PHISIOLOGY Birth Date: October 10. Time of Birth: Evening. Western Astrological Sign: Libra Traits Associated with Western Sign: Social, Clever, Unreliable, Diplomatic Traits Associated with Chinese Zodiac: N/A, seeing as I don’t age Wylan with the years this doesn’t really apply. Handwriting: Clean when he needs it to be, but otherwise a quick script with lots of pen strikes. He’s capable with drawing diagrams and the like as well! This boy can throw out monster diagrams with weak points and other ecological notes oh yes yes. Sexual History: Wylan was already exploring that sort of thing before he left the academy, so yes... as early as 16 he’d already lost the v-card. He doesn’t really do relationships and enjoys casual encounters. Many a maiden at the bar or elsewhere has taken him for a spin. Typically partners aren’t reoccurring in fantasy verse, however. He’s... well, very good in the performance category.   General Health: A+ healthy aside from the sleep and subpar diet bits. Strong and good stamina. Medical History: He’s nearly died one times too many. Been stabbed, cut, poisoned, bitten, but hey he’s still alive! And that’s what he’d argue matters with this business. Allergies: SHELLFISH. Chronic Illnesses: None to speak of. Handicaps: He’s somewhat of a type B tsundere. It’s awful.  OBJECTS Purse / Bag: He’s got a coin purse that he’ll carry spare gold around in for spending on what have you. Supposedly food but he’s weak to splurge purchases. Most everything else he keeps on him in his pockets and his belt. Wallet: Uhhh see above, coin purse!!! He’s got enough for the week or so!! Don’t try and pickpocket him because he will catch you and you will feel stupid. Fridge: He doesn’t keep food around. He more or less has to scavenge for everything he eats either through buying or hunting. That’s kind of the life for the vagrant he is, isn’t it? Medicine Cabinet: N/A, but he does keep bandages and salves at his room.  Glove Compartment: N/A!! Junk Drawer: NNNNNN/AAAAAAA Kitchen Cabinets: Wylan get a house so I can fill this out challenge. Bedroom Hiding Place: Behind a wall panel or somesuch if he can manage. Otherwise in the floor or outside the window. Closets: His wardrobe typically includes tunics, coats, leather armor and harnesses for his weaponry! He’s got a couple swords in fantasy verse, and he’s got throwing knives and a grappling hook!!  Backback: Yeah uh see above, what a question. Locker: None Desk: WYLAN KEEP ITEMS AROUND CHALLEEEEENGE.  Clothes pocket: Daggers, notes, maybe a writing implement and paper so he can jot things down. He’s also got little knick knacks like a gem or a monster tooth to show off. Isn’t it cool??? Also lint.

OTHER Halloween Costumes: Werewolf!!! Get him in either just a lazy one with gloves and ears or deck him out in the whole garb. Love that idea on him. In one verse Big Bad Wolf is his nickname, and in another he flat out IS a werewolf! So yeAH. Tricks: He’s very skilled at sleight of hand!! Card flourishes and dice rolls. Cup games. Illusions and dexterity... he’s a slippery one! He’s also likely to catch you in words, using things you say against you. He gets really meta and oh how annoying that can get... Talents: SWORDPLAY- He learned from a very early age at an esteemed academy where only the best knights get trained. He mixes that style with a more ‘street’ type that he picked up with the thieves’ guild and even further as a monster hunter and mercenary. Suffice to say that all mixes together into multiple stances he can switch between depending on what he’s up against. Strong sweeping strikes, vicious stabbing and leaping, poised dueling and parrying... he’s a TOUGH fight. MAGIC: Wylan is at odds with his use of holy magic that utilizes the light to bless and heal. Until he comes to terms with himself and the power he wants to channel it’ll have ‘blowbacks’ on himself. Fingers will burn, head will ache, and his stomach will flip. But it’s still undeniably effective for where it is! Aside from that he knows some wind magic to supplement himself. He’s not known as ‘Zephyr’ for nothing after all! Gusting steps, slashing winds, REALLY BIG JUMPS!!! If you throw him he’s a fantastic projectile! And lets see- DANCING! He learned it first as part of his etiquette as a knight, but it’s something that’s evolved with him and oh does he enjoy festivals for that reason. Ballroom styles are what he’s most familiar with. Dance with him. Please dance with him. Politics: Indifferent! Doesn’t care for authority figures to begin with so in any case or kingdom with a monarchy he’s very buh about it. He’s very self-accomplished and his beliefs would push him towards meritocracy over anythign else if you ask me!  Flaws: Suspicious, possessive, and very persistent. This could be a strength too but for the most part can be seen as a detriment because of how it ends up being applied. Which is in self-destructive tendencies WOO. He’s also very lustful, and can be distracted by a fine woman and let himself be swayed by his desires over time. Have I mentioned he isn’t the most reliable? He’s apt to lie to people and give intentionally wrong impressions just to make it easier for him to slip away. You gotta go up a few levels to unlock that... So yeah, sins are WRATH, LUST, and ENVY. Strengths: NONE. Okay if you earn a solid place as his friend there is almost NO limit to what he’ll do to protect you. Wylan has a ridiculous amount of determination and mental fortitude and he can and will strike down a GOD to keep those things that are precious to him. He’s also an amusing character to have around, if you are feeling bummed he is almost guaranteed to find a way to cheer you up and support you if only so he can not feel as guilty teasing as he usually does HUE. He’s got a very up beat personality! Sure, a lot of it is a mask but he WANTS it to be real and that’s what really matters if you ask me. His reckless optimism can be endearing. There’s a lot of other surprising mental qualities such as how clever and quick witted he can be. Part of that mental fortitude lets him think and fight on his feet regardless of how much pressure he’s under. It takes a LOT to dampen his thought processes. Drugs/Alcohol: He drinks frequently, but he wouldn’t be counted as a drunkard. Wylan rarely drinks to excess, and prefers to do so among friends and good company. Passwords: Uh, do ritual prayers count? Magical spells? Heh. Email Address, Home Page, Blogs, etc.: Oh if only this were for modern verse... Time and place: Medieval fantasy! Magic and creatures! I also love throwing Monster Hunter vibes in for the big monsters he goes up against. Special Places: For him? Cliffs overlooking the ocean. Abandoned temples he can just chill at. For all he enjoys being around people now and then he really appreciates quiet isolation. Special Memories: Lots of memories with his sister before they more or less split ways. There’s one in particular where he was trying to teach her swordplay when she was just a little girl, and she about stubbed his toe when the wooden practice sword fell right on it. Her panicked attempts to try and heal him were something that really stuck with him.

[indigo-ra]

The Little Black Mermaid

There’s a lot to unpack here. First off, let me start by saying I think it’s very progressive to see a black girl casted for Disney’s live action version of The Little Mermaid. It seems that after 70 some-odd-years, Disney is finally taking steps to represent diversity for this next generation of kids.  Now, I  also have to come in and say that I don’t understand why Disney is doing all these live action remakes. I saw Aladdin recently and I could see the love that the creative team put into the costume designs and backgrounds- it was so BEAUTIFUL.

But I also saw something I fundamentally disliked about this new generation of live-action remakes. See, when Disney does any storytelling, whatever the source, it is scrubbed of much of its authenticity and then sugar-coated for mass consumption for all ages. Of course, it wasn’t always this way. If you go back a few decades, you’ll see some downright offensive things produced by Disney too; but Disney 2019, is the owner of Lucas Arts and Marvel now. They’re such a massive conglomerate corporation, their image has to be flawless so they can set the pace for each new wave of consumerism. You’re thinking “Yeah, so?”  So, I’m just going to say, after watching Aladdin, I felt hollow. To get a Disney-filtered animated version of the story, there are a lot of things to weigh and consider. Animation, by and large is a treatment most production companies market toward children. You also have to understand that you can get away with a LOT in animation, because impossible things are possible in 2D animation and everything is intentional.  To take that story that had already been through such an intense filter to make into an animation, and apply that same exact treatment to live-action is moving backwards. Not only that, but Disney took it a step further and made a point to omit any semblance of ANYTHING that could be considered risque in the slightest. Jasmine’s short scene of seducing Jafar was swapped out for a new princess power ballad and left the entire story feeling FLATTER than the 2D Animation. It’s true. The reason why, is, because all the richness of a story adapted for animation has been applied to live-action. Three dimensional people don’t squash, bend, stretch or emote like cartoons, so the songs, the action, the intensity of it, unless treated like a LIVE-ACTION movie would never add up. And it’s incredibly flat. The movie has no surprises, no intensity, no complexity and no personality. She looks very pretty though. Now with that in mind, I’m going to approach the topic of The Little Mermaid. Keeping in mind that Disney is catering their brand toward a new generation of gender-neutral pussies in the making, their message has changed. It used to be “Your prince will come.” but now it’s “You’re a princess, you don’t need  a prince.” Taking the “Happily ever after” off of the ending in favor of some “...to be continued” because, it sells. The first go round was so successful, there was all kinds of collectible junk that came out with each classic movie and even new rides for the theme park. People ate that shit up, and Disney is like, “well it if ain’t broke...”, and is now redoing the same projects because, everybody else has done it.  In recent years how many versions of Disney princesses trended? Modern takes with them illustrated wearing casual clothes, On the cover of magazines, Photoshopped to look photo-real, Covered in tattoos, doing drugs etc... In the past 2-3 years there has been an upward trend, after we came out of our sexy vampire phase (True Blood, Twilight, Vampire Diaries)  and went in the direction of modernized fairytales (Once Upon a Time, Grimm, The Hunstman, Descendants). Disney rode that wave until it started to decline and THAT’S when the live-action remakes started. The Little Mermaid casting choice, plain and simple is a grab at black dollars. I’m not mad at it. But I think it’s very flippant how Disney made such an unexpected move, knowing exactly how Black people would react.  It has mostly been positive. Disney is certainly trending in the black community, and new art of the new black Disney princess is popping up everywhere.  But not all Black people agree. Some don’t even understand why they don’t like the concept, because it does seem like they should be happy, that, for once, color seems not to matter. Which is exactly the problem.  The issue at hand is when white actors are placed in roles that ARE WRITTEN or CALL FOR ethnicities that are NOT White:

Disney is making an effort.-But not really. I understand why black people are happy, but I also understand why they are upset, and for ONCE white people do have some reason to feel slighted in this situation. The Little Mermaid has been black-washed. The Little Mermaid is a story written by Hans Christian Andersen in 1837 - who was Danish man from Denmark. SO if you’re under the impression that The Little Mermaid was originally about this “Yemoja” Orisha I’m seeing popping up all over the place from these hoteps that claim they’re woke, that is called “cultural appropriation” plain and simple. We hate that, so let’s not be those people. The original story is about a mermaid in search of obtaining a soul, and though it is a mythical creature, SUNSHINE is what makes people dark-skinned. If you live underwater, in DENMARK of all places, fuck white, this fish would be damn near transparent. This was one of the times where Disney didn’t have to worry about appeasing black people. If Ariel was casted White, Black people wouldn’t have cried about it being unfair because that would be accurate. NOBODY petitioned, going around asking for signatures, demanding that Ariel be black, and now, White Disney supporters are feeling slighted, and rightly so, because Disney isn’t trying to balance the scales, so much as perpetuate the message that they “don’t see color” and “race doesn’t matter”; and Black people hate that narrative! It’s like when you get into a fight with your little sister or brother growing up and your mom makes you apologize, even though they started it. To your mom, it doesn’t matter who started it, and even though it’s unfair, she forces you to humble yourself even if you were the victim. That’s not balance, it’s a forced compromise. We need to stop being so eager to jump on the bandwagon of any pitiful handouts they give us, especially if it’s not coming from a pure place of good intent. White people will buy new merch to burn and Black people will buy anything that has their face on it, so both ways, Disney wins. I love Disney, but this was a blunder on their end. Halle Bailey’s singing chops in a Disney movie is not going to even get close to showing off her skills or range as a vocalist since Disney songs are all written in keys and chords that the general public can sing along with.  Personally, I think Disney could have been better about choosing a character that more matched the Ariel we already know and love. It’s not like we are starting from scratch. We already have a red-haired, fair-skinned mermaid girl, who we know and love from the 2D animation. If you’re RE-MAKING the movie, why not make it in the image of the first success? Don’t change the main character’s color on a whim. If Disney was RE-IMAGINING The story, then it’s okay. Tweak the story. If it takes place in the Carribbean, maybe with some influential cultural tweaks like the prince being from Barbados (Sebastian can obviously stay the same), and maybe some pirates thrown in, it could be good, and Halle Bailey would be a wonderful casting choice, just like Brandy was in Rodger and Hammerstein’s version of Cinderella. But it wouldn’t be a REMAKE. But if it’s going to be a remake, as I recall, I do believe the Disney’s version took place in The Caspian sea, according to Ursula’s spell.

I never felt like I couldn’t relate to Ariel because she was white, A mermaid isn’t a human in the first place. We’re 2 for 0 in black women getting the “another species/race/creature” treatment with Disney. A princess that was a frog and now a mermaid and we’re playing it up like a victory while Disney is about to make some serious coin off of us. That’s all folks.

[hethrewmyheartinthecut]

Peaky Match #257: Michael Gray, May Carleton, Ada Shelby

This is a result from the Who’s Your Peaky Match? quiz. The content is under a read more to prevent spoilers for those who haven’t taken the quiz yet.

Give And Take

You have a wonderful and mutually supportive relationship with your partner. Together, you and your partner are building something that you think will last and grow in a healthy way, setting boundaries and helping each other through rough times in life. You’re not afraid of asking for what you need or getting your partner’s help with some part of your own business, whether it’s to do with crime, politics, or family. Trust and communication are ultimately the cornerstones of your relationship, and that’s why you two have been able to last for so long, despite all the drama in Birmingham.

Fuck Em All

Honestly, you’re out here fighting for yourself. You see so many people claiming to care about each other for religious, political, moral, ethnic, or other reasons, but ultimately, when a crisis occurs and true priorities are exposed, most people don’t really give a damn. At least you’re honest. You’re in it for yourself, maybe a few of your very closest friends, and your partner. You embrace your own ambitions and never let anything stop you from reaching your goals. You are someone that is absolutely to be feared, and everyone knows it! Wherever you go, the No Bullshit Zone follows.

Examples: Tatiana Petrovna, Alfie Solomons

Paper & Brain

Your greatest strengths are your ability to strategize and your analytical mind. While others may question your decisions, you are playing a long game and you’ll see it to the end. Your skills may show themselves in business, academia, or even the arts; ultimately, your talents are not confined to one specific job. If you don’t already have a good education, you make sure to get yourself one, because you want to have as many mental tools at your disposal as possible. Nobody wants to play chess with you, but everyone feels a little safer if you’re on their side.

Michael Gray

(throughout s2, s3, s4 AU)

You and Michael met at seventeen, when you were both studying accounting. Although neither of you was given to talking about your relationship much, you fell into a natural understanding, and the love letters he sent you when you moved to London were proof enough of his attachment that you weren’t surprised that he followed you there. Today, as you elbow your way to the top of the banking business, he does the same in London’s underworld. Your favorite thing about your relationship is how, in any public place, you can communicate with only a look or a raised eyebrow.

Unexpected Bonus: Michael invites you to meet his family after the two of you get engaged, and you make some strange first impressions. First, you show up in your city suit because work ran late and you didn’t have time to change, and you debate monetary policy with Tommy at his own kitchen table. Polly remarks that it’s good practice for candidate debates, and you say that if this is all a candidate needs, you might as well run. (Michael stifles a smirk.) But then the whole family heads out for a hunting trip, and you shoot fowl and gut fish along with the best of them, silently reminding them that you grew up in the countryside along with Michael. The second-most rewarding moment of the trip comes when you sneak out at night to Michael’s tent, and Polly sees you, raises an eyebrow, but lets you go. That has to be some kind of approval, right? (The most rewarding moment of the trip comes when you arrive to his tent. Michael can make an entire meal of one kiss.)

May Carleton

(after s4 AU)

May Carleton was either the biggest mistake or the greatest triumph of your life. The plan was to use her in one of your long con games, but there was such a strange and captivating mix of bold and tentative in one small woman, such a wistful beauty, you fell head over heels for her, confessed the entire plot, and proposed to her on the spot. Today, you set your devious mind to expanding her horse training and breeding business, and you’re both happy as long as you can share long rides at twilight and one big four-poster bed afterwards.

Unexpected Bonus: After her “reputation” was destroyed by her previous affair with some rancid gangster-man, May permanently lost every last fuck she had to give (and she didn’t have that many in the first place). The horse breeding, training, and racing business is full of misogynistic assholes, but it is a thing of beauty and a joy forever to see the way she deals with them. You have seen with your own two eyes the expression on the peer, politician, and Duke of Wellington, Arthur Wellesley, when May just turned around and walked away from him as he was saying something condescending to her. You will treasure that look until your dying day.

Ada Shelby

(after s4 AU: Ada never returns to America, but rather takes over much of the business when Tommy has the Golf Breakdown)

Ada sets out to run Shelby Company Limited like a proper, modern company, with a board and all, and she brings you in as a major part of the process, because of your long history with other highly profitable but somewhat shady companies. You two become absolutely inseparable, practically finishing each other sentences. On the surface, she enjoys your mordant sense of humor and you enjoy her cutting wit. Underneath, she’s the only one you confide your insecurities in, and vice versa. You’re the only ones who really understand what drives you to achieve greater and greater heights in business.

Unexpected Bonus: Although Ada is not herself a Communist anymore, she still raises Karl on some Communist and leftist literature and ideology, in keeping with her late husband’s wishes. He’s a scrappy kid, and you very much enjoy having late-night arguments with him. When he wins a debate prize at school, you take the whole family out to Italy for a well-deserved vacation and then spend half of that vacation arguing over how to deal with the rise of fascism, much to the horror of your more genteel fellow-travelers. (For the record: you think the situation could be addressed with assassinations, Karl thinks the downtrodden should rise up and demand equal rights for everyone, Ada thinks you’re both going to get sunburned, will you please come over and get some goddamn lotion?) Anyways, the ocean’s nice.

Additional Note: For those interested in knowing how good Ada’s strap-on game is: excellent. It’s fucking excellent.

To read more imagines like this, feel free to peruse the masterlist.

If you enjoyed this quiz/these imagines, I’d love it if you could send an ask, leave a comment, or reblog. I’m curious to see if you thought your matches suited you!

I’m also especially curious about what you did and didn’t like about this quiz. I’m very open to feedback. I plan on writing another quiz once season 5 is done which will match you with a season 5 character, so I’m looking to improve here.

[yeonchi]

2020: Red Pill Year

At the end of every year, I write up a post to sum up what I did this year and share my (controversial) opinions of the year’s current affairs. My original plan was for this to be part of my end-of-year review post, but since it started getting long, I decided to split it into two posts. In this post, I’m going to be talking about current affairs; my wrap-up of the year will come in another post to be released on New Year’s Eve.

I’ve experienced a lot through my ten years on social media, but the events of the last four years (since graduating high school) have changed me a lot and led me to take the red pill on a few things. I suspect that being sheltered and isolated from society for at least 20 years contributed to some of my feelings and opinions.

From this point on, I’m going to be giving my opinions on current affairs, and I’ve been really looking forward to writing this given the year that we’ve had. Everything that’s happened feels like a perfect storm that if you were to go back in time and warn people of what would happen in 2020, you would be labelled a conspiracy theorist. Because I have a lot of things to talk about, I’ve split them up into sections under headings.

Let me warn you now, some of the things I’ll be saying will be controversial and there may be a few censored slurs in this. I’ve also peppered a few jokes here and there, so if you don’t get them, that’s on you. You are free to stop reading here, but if you decide to keep reading and you want to discuss anything about what I’ve said, I’ll only accept comments from people who have the ability to debate calmly without resorting to insults or are open-minded about their views. I have no time for idiots or brainlets.

My justification for using the n-word

I feel like I should address this before I go on. In January 2017, I shared an infamous Chris Rock sketch from 1996 where he decries African-American people whose actions spoil other peoples’ impressions of their community by acting in a criminal or stereotypical manner. As an Asian of Chinese ethnicity with family from Hong Kong, I have to admit that I’ve used the n-word (both soft-a and hard-r versions) to decry the actions of mainland Chinese people whose actions taint my view of them, or the stupidity of politicians in Hong Kong. I even started another page just so people on my news feed didn’t have to read some of the toxic shit I had to say.

Later that year, some gaijin bitch I was having a feud with found that page and reported every post where I said the n-word (that page barely had any fans, btw), which led me to be postblocked three times. He only agreed to stop when I called him out for being an asshole and told him to kill himself (like iDubbbz did Keemstar).

From that point on, I resolved to be less hateful online and one thing that I did was to stop using the n-word. However, the news that followed in the years after that made me realise that in insight, I was somehow correct in my justification and that the other guy was, whether intentional or not, being pro-China. The current climate of the internet, where censorship is rampant and people have a tendency to overreact to things that aren’t as much a problem as they think, has discouraged me from talking about current affairs like I used to and led me to doing so in these yearly posts instead.

“BUT YoU Can't USe THE N-Word, tHAT's oUr woRD” Shut the fuck up. Either everyone can say that word or nobody should be allowed to say that word (in any of its forms). This includes black people. iDubbbz’s Content Cop on Tana Mongeau made me realise this concept of gatekeeping over words because some people “own” the word or want to “take it back” is bullshit and dare I say, racist. The n-word has been used in songs and non-black people are known to listen to them, so how would you stop them from singing the word when it comes up?

In Chinese, the n-word translates to “black ghost”, but I prefer to define it as “black-hearted ghost” in order to cover “black-hearted” people of any race.

The homophobic f-slur (not to be mistaken for the f-word) is also a word of contention, particularly because of its initial usage on 4chan as an insult, which began to spread to the rest of the internet from about 2014 onwards. In my opinion, there’s not as much uproar over the f-slur compared to the n-word, particularly nowadays when there are more pressing things to be worried about.

If you keep reading on, you’ll get to see how angry I feel about certain things, particularly in some topics where I make reference to the n-word.

Coronavirus

Naming and pandemic management

In January, we were still dealing with fires that were burning various regions of Eastern Australia. I was on a cruise ship (not Princess Cruises) coming back to Sydney from New Zealand when I heard that biosecurity officials were starting to screen flights coming from Wuhan. Near the end of 2019, I had heard inklings of SARS-like pneumonia cases coming from Wuhan on Facebook pages about Hong Kong. Before we knew it, the coronavirus had become a worldwide pandemic.

The term “COVID-19″ was coined in February to describe the pneumonia caused by the virus, which was coined “SARS-CoV-2”. To be honest, I’m not fond of the terms “COVID” or “COVID-19” because even though it does make sense when you think about it (Coronavirus disease 2019), I honestly believe that this was an act of political correctness by the WHO and China to protect people’s “feelings” by obscuring the fact that the first cases of the coronavirus were found in Wuhan, putting the blame on other countries for creating the virus and brushing off the effect that this virus has had on the people of Wuhan, China and the world. Therefore, I believe that the virus started in Wuhan until there is proof beyond all reasonable doubt that the virus came from somewhere else. Pro-democracy supporters in Hong Kong and Taiwan still refer to it as the “Wuhan pneumonia” (武漢肺炎) because of these reasons whereas officials and pro-establishment supporters refer to it by its politically correct name (新型肺炎/新冠肺炎). I’ve referred to it as the “Wuhan coronavirus” once at the start of the year, but I just refer to it as “coronavirus” now. Frankly, it would have been better if we all just called it SARS 2.0. Given “SARS-CoV-2″, it makes sense. Hell, I’d even call it the “n-word f-slur virus” after iDubbbz’s favourite compound slur, but I digress. For the record, I’m not too keen on Trump naming it the “China virus” over “Wuhan virus” or any other name.

This wasn’t the main thing that pissed me off about the WHO, however. Taiwan had managed to manage the epidemic quite well early on, which only resulted in 7 people dying (since May 2020) whereas the virus is still rampant in the US and Europe at the time of writing. In an interview with Assistant Director-General Bruce Aylward on 28 March, he awkwardly denied to respond to comments regarding Taiwan’s management of the epidemic and whether the WHO would consider giving them membership. Later, on 8 April, WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom claimed that he was subjected to racial abuse coming from Taiwan.

If I could use the n-word to describe China, its government and the people who support them, then the WHO are a bunch of n-word-lovers, which is really ironic given that a literal n-word like Tedros is running the fucking WHO. I’m sick of Taiwan being portrayed as the underdog by China and n-word-lover countries breaking ties with Taiwan in favour of China. And frankly, a fucking crybaby like Tedros deserves all the racial abuse he gets for that allegation about Taiwan.

I don’t deny that the WHO has done good for the world over the years, but when it came to the coronavirus, it’s like they’ve been deliberately trying to appease China. China’s initial management of the coronavirus has been less than ideal, which is why I still point the blame at them for allowing the pandemic to get to where it is now (apparently they did similar things back during SARS, but I digress). I suspect that there have been more cases and deaths in China than what has been reported, but since many countries have had more cases and deaths than China at this point, I truly believe that we shouldn’t be pointing fingers until the pandemic has been suppressed.

Racism

Moving onto coronavirus racism now and dear god, I wish Asians living in Western countries would just shut the fuck up about coronavirus racism and check their privilege. As an Asian living in a Western country (ironic, I know), it honestly bugs me how much I see Asians crying and playing the victim card (particularly on NextAsian, whose audience is the Asian-American community) when I haven’t experienced as much racial abuse from other people in my life (probably because I haven’t been going outside as much during lockdown, let alone before). Look, yes, I’m not denying that racism still exists, but people need to understand that changing attitudes in society have led to cases of racism falling over the years and there are Asians living in Asian countries who are probably more oppressed than your house being graffitied or a Karen at the supermarket calling you “coronavirus”. If you call out someone for doing or saying something racist, like making squinty eyes in a photo or being white and selling Asian food at their restaurant (particularly if the comment or action is not directed at you), then you’re just taking someone else’s problem and making it yours. People need to learn to mind their own fucking business.

I remember arriving at the train station on my way to uni one time and hearing a man ranting about “fucking Japs” as he walked past. The comment wasn’t directed at me (I’m not Japanese btw), he didn’t make eye contact with me and I don’t recall him coming back or saying anything else either, so I just let it go. In short, it’s not just Westerners or the media who needs to change their attitudes of racial perception. Much as I hate to say it, Asians living in the West need to change their attitudes as to how they deal with racism. Here’s a tip - just say “ok cracker” and move on.

Don’t get me wrong, I agree that Chinese people shouldn’t be blamed for starting or spreading the coronavirus. But were Middle Eastern people blamed for starting or spreading MERS back in 2012? No, they weren’t (or at least I haven’t heard anything about it because racists were still worried about Muslims being terrorists). This comes back to my complaint about political correctness in naming the virus and my point that we shouldn’t be pointing fingers until we have the pandemic under control.

Lockdowns

Taking a look at lockdowns now and as I said, the lockdown has given me a good excuse to do a lot of things as a NEET that I would have doubts doing otherwise. I’ve been trying to find a job for years with no luck and right now, I’m on the cusp of getting one, which is why I’m aiming to finish my personal project by the end of next year. Weekly hotpots and takeaways became staples for my family during the lockdown and because of that, I hope to get back to the gym soon, as the one I go to is right in the city and I still have a lot of unused visits on a pass I bought at the start of the year (if I had known things were going to end up like this, I probably would have forgone gym for the year).

As a university student, I can say that I dodged a bullet, because there was a risk that Grade 6 and Year 12 students would not be able to attend their graduation ceremonies. I had planned on doing two additional subjects this year in addition to the one I still had left, but the lockdown quashed those plans and I decided to end it there. To be honest, it could have been worse. Someone on CUHK Secrets who was born in 1997 was talking about how they were unable to attend their graduation ceremonies because of various factors; they couldn’t attend their kindergarten graduation in 2003 because of SARS, they couldn’t attend their primary school graduation in 2009 because of swine flu, they couldn’t attend their secondary school graduation in 2015 due to bad timing, they couldn’t attend their undergrad ceremony in 2019 because of the protests, and they couldn’t attend their masters ceremony this year because of the coronavirus.

There have been a lot of people who were affected by the lockdowns, whether it be losing their jobs, businesses or loved ones before they got a chance to see them among others. The lockdowns have particularly made an impact in Melbourne, where the second wave has led to compulsory face masks, a nightly curfew and a “ring of steel” with regional Victoria. My sympathies go out to everyone affected and I want to say that if there was an easier way for us to get through lockdown, maybe by allowing people to see loved ones out of our travel zones, then we would probably have taken it. People advocating against lockdowns and people advocating for or defending lockdowns are two ends of the spectrum; if we tried to find a middle ground, then we would probably have gaps through which more cases could come in. I don’t doubt that the lockdown has helped get the numbers down and allowed us to get back to normal quicker, but I wish that there would have been a way for people to see their dying loved ones in person. Are lockdowns a conspiracy to get us to stay at home? I disagree. I’m pretty sure that even evil overlords would want us to get back to buying and consuming things as soon as possible, though maybe I’m being a bit too optimistic.

Hong Kong

The situation in general

Taking a look at the situation in Hong Kong over the past year and everything that’s happened just proved my opinions right. Protests aside, the way that they have managed the coronavirus has been subpar to the point that they are now dealing with a fourth wave when Melbourne has just managed to overcome the second wave. The situation is more precarious in Hong Kong not only because of population density (there are lots of residential high-rise flats there), but also because they’ve been through SARS, bird flu and swine flu before. The main reason why we’re in this situation is because not only did the government not close the border to mainland China, but the exceptions they imposed were too lenient that they were allowing people to come (back) into Hong Kong without having to observe 14 days quarantine. And on top of that, they’re offering $5000 HKD subsidies to positive cases in an effort to encourage the lower class to get tested, like that isn’t going to lead to people purposefully trying to contract the virus just to get their hands on that money, given the mentality of these people. At least other countries have guidelines and strict criteria with their subsidies.

It’s interesting that this perfect storm and the protests that started it all were a result of a cuck patrolling a thot, the thot’s mother going to a pro-Beijing party to seek justice and the government exploiting this whole situation to push the extradition law, then exploiting the chaos caused by the protests to push the national security law before throwing the thot’s mother away like a used condom. Nice to know that incels and MGTOWs have the power to change society, but not in the way they would probably want it.

Jokes aside, there have been so many things that have happened over the last 18 months that it would be impossible for me to state them all, like boomers wearing white clothes lynching young people wearing black clothes (KKK vibes, anyone), riot police entering a train station and attacking everyone inside and the police siding with boomers, gangsters and the government against young people. More recently, there’s the 12 young people who were arrested at sea as part of a government conspiracy to get them arrested in Chinese waters, the saga over the pro-democracy politicians resigning en masse and all the police shit that’s still going on.

I don’t blame anyone who has decided to leave Hong Kong because of all this, and I don’t blame anyone who has decided to stay, maybe because they don’t have the ability nor the resources to move or maybe because they want to be there when we get to the end of the tunnel, or rather, the bottom of the pot as they would say. My family moved to Australia in the 80′s because my grandparents were concerned about what would happen to Hong Kong after the handover; if they were still alive today, they and probably many others would have been proven right.

I know a lot of people say that it’s bad to attack your opponents, but these events have made me so angry that I have to say this (besides, I’ve held these views since 2014 and don’t tell me you wouldn’t attack a Trump or Biden supporter this way because let’s face it, you probably have). If you don’t want to talk about the Hong Kong protests, that’s fine, but if you decide to stand against the protesters (or stand with the Hong Kong government, the Chinese government and/or the police), then you are an n-word if you are Asian or an n-word lover if you are not and I have no sympathy for black-hearted ghosts like you.

Some people have said that these protests were more successful than Occupy Central and I have to agree. While we did make an impact on the international stage, not very many of us were united in our goals or willing to keep the movement going, so Occupy Central basically ended in failure. This time around, governments around the world have started taking measures against China, resulting in their crybaby spokespeople condemning foreign interference every time the US or some other country announces sanctions or other shit towards China. It’s really funny that this is all they can do without being the first country to trigger the start of World War Three; if the sanctioned individuals don’t have interests or assets in foreign countries, then why are these n-words so concerned about this?

A philosophy that the protesters have adopted is the doctrine of laam chau (攬炒), also known as “phoenixism” or “if we burn, you burn with us”, a line from The Hunger Games. Both the Hong Kong and Chinese governments have criticised this doctrine because they believe that they will only end up destroying Hong Kong themselves, but has it ever occurred to anyone that, given everything that’s happened over the past 18 months, including the arrests and whatnot, it is actually them who are laam chau-ing us (and the world as well)?

Families have also been split over this entire issue as well. It’s honestly bullshit how some people, particularly boomers, put their patriotism and support for the police over the rest of their family, particularly those who support the protesters. It’s no better than disowning your child just because they came out as LGBT. Frankly, if I was that petty with parents who supported the government and the police, I’d just dump them in a home and never visit them. It’s the most humane thing I’d probably do, but I wouldn’t do it because a) my parents aren’t that stupid and b) I care enough about my parents to not be petty over this bullshit.

It’s honestly weird and fascinating how boomers can parrot the government’s (or any other pro-government organisation’s) position on anything and be smug about it. The only reason why boomers can be so “passionate” about being patriotic is because they’re usually coaxed with free money and free food. At any other time, they don’t need to do anything because the government are on their side so they can do all the heavy work for them. Their lack of education and addiction to TVB news also contributes to this.

Speaking of TVB, the mainstream media in Hong Kong is no longer our friend. The only media outlets we can still trust are those who are pro-democracy or those who are still trying very hard to remain neutral, such as Apple Daily or RTHK. Now TV and Cable TV were touted as alternative news sources, but they’ve been taken over by executives who used to work for TVB or aTV (remember when it was still a thing?). When the protests started in 2019, there was a movement to boycott all businesses advertising on TVB or having TVB on their televisions because of their bias toward the government and the police. The organisers of the Facebook page behind it were arrested in April, but another page sprang up soon after. Some artists and employees working for TVB were shelved, had their contracts cancelled or decided to resign because their views did not toe the party line. Good on them for resigning, I’d say, because there are many better places they could be useful at. God, it’s so weird how a cultural institution that defined our childhoods has now become an enemy.

Hong Kong protests vs. Black Lives Matter

When the Black Lives Matter movement came back to prominence in May following the death of George Floyd, I feared that this was an attempt to derail the Hong Kong protests by providing the world with a “convenient” distraction. I mean, people love black dicks more than Asian dicks, amirite? However, I was surprised when BLM protesters were willing to learn off HK protesters, because it shows that they must have been doing something right, I guess.

In spite of this, I have to say that BLM haven’t gotten enough ideas off of Hongkongers. BLM supporters encourage the boycotting of stores and businesses that are against BLM and the support of those that support BLM, but do you have any centralised platforms to collect that information? That’s right, I’m talking about the yellow economic circle of Hong Kong, where we boycott (read: “renovate”) stores and businesses that are pro-police or pro-government and support (read: “punish”) stores and businesses that support the protesters or embrace similar pro-democracy ideologies.

Funnily enough, pro-establishment politicians, supporters and media mock and laugh at us for our economic circle, but I don’t see them trying to copy us even though we’ve compiled a list of stores and businesses that are on their side so we can boycott them. Consumers have the right to procure goods and services from any business they choose, regardless of political stance; to condemn consumers for choosing businesses based on their political stances is not only biased, but anti-consumer. If BLM can put out an app that serves the purposes of the BLM economic circle and, at the same time, piss off Republican politicians and supporters (not just Trump supporters), I can finally say they’ve done something right. 

One thing that really pissed me off was that n-words and n-word-lovers were actually saying that the Hong Kong protests should not be compared with the BLM protests. Through a quote tweet, I’m going to debunk their claims of the two being “polar opposites”, skipping over things (mostly related to BLM) that are already obvious.

The first thing I should point out is that they state “Minneapolis riots” when they’re obviously trying to support BLM. Doesn’t BLM disavow violence and rioting?

Racism: How are the Hong Kong protests “racist”? If this is about “racism” towards Mainland Chinese people, then your argument is invalid because they are the same race and that’s not what the word means. If this is about minorities living in Hong Kong, then that’s beside the point of the protests. If anything, Hongkongers have connected with minorities more than ever before.

Trump: Face it, the only reason why the Hong Kong protests are “pro-Trump” is because he’s been vocal in his opposition to China and “orange man bad”. Activists are seeking bipartisan support because they don’t want to see Hong Kong become a bargaining chip between two candidates and importantly, bills and acts regarding Hong Kong have received bipartisan support in Congress.

White-Americanism: Where the fuck do they get this from, honestly? Is this another “all white people are racist” argument?

Colonialism: This argument cannot be used for BLM because it’s centred in America, a country which the US government obviously owns. As for Hong Kong, I’m gonna have to play devil’s advocate on this one. It’s extremely wishful thinking to think that the UK or US will send their forces in to Hong Kong because China can easily send out their troops, who have bases in Hong Kong. Therefore, it’s also extremely wishful thinking to think that they will take control of Hong Kong in any capacity. Some people support this international intervention in the hope of eventual independence, but it’s wishful thinking as well with China as they are now.

Capitalism: Honestly, they’ve got it backwards here. Many companies in the US (and the world) have spoken up or taken steps in support of Black Lives Matter while many companies in Hong Kong tend to support the government and China. It’s not really a case of pro or anti-capitalism, but rather who has capitalism on their side.

Funding: Personally, if the Hong Kong protests were funded by the CIA (or NED), then there would have been something on WikiLeaks and the mainstream media (despite people’s disdain for them) would have covered it by now and not just the Chinese media. Therefore, I’m sceptical of this because it’s not common knowledge proven beyond all reasonable doubt. As for BLM, the same thing can be said of them apparently being funded by Chinese interests.

Spontaneous vs. Intricate: Doesn’t an uprising or protest need planning? Wouldn’t the “spontaneous risings” of BLM also be “intricately organised” as well? Weren’t the “intricately organised riots” in Hong Kong also “spontaneous”? This is going into conspiracy territory, which makes them no better than the conspiracy theorists they disavow.

Weaponless vs. Deadly Weapons: Like bricks, umbrellas and other things can compare to tear gas, rubber bullets and water cannons. Yes, there were molotov cocktails and shit, but the point here is to not excuse one protest and criticise the other when there have been documented cases of violence by both police and protesters in both protests. To that point, I believe that no revolution can happen without violence on both sides.

In short, the people who made this are n-words and anyone who unironically believes this are n-words who get their news from n-word sources. The claims made are very superficial and no attempt was made at backing up their claims, even outside of Twitter. Also, I find it ironic that these people are showing their support for one marginalised group while perpetuating hate for another when the whole point of Black Lives Matter and other similar movements is about fighting against hate and injustice (though I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by these people, especially given that there have been cases of anti-black racism in China). Yes, the Hong Kong protests and the Black Lives Matter protests are different, but there are common factors in both of them and supporters of both groups should stand together against hate and injustice. To stand with one but not the other is nothing short of hypocrisy, and I say this not just for those who support BLM but not HK, but also for those who support HK but not BLM. Even if you only believe in the underlying causes, namely being against racism and police brutality (and also violence), that’s all that really matters.

All lives don’t matter until black lives matter and all lives don’t matter until (young) Hongkonger lives matter.

In regards to ACAB

At the start of the year, in my review for the Doctor Who episode Orphan 55, I said that climate change protesters should check their privilege in regards to police brutality. This was because Hongkongers have suffered more compared to those vegans and if their countries were in the same situation as Hong Kong or China, they wouldn’t be able to protest in the first place. After hearing of the police brutality at BLM protests and weighing everything up, I’ve become an ACAB person now.

I’ve held this attitude in regards to the police in Hong Kong since 2014, but I’ve been iffy to say the same for police in places like the US or Australia. An old friend of mine from primary school looks like the type of person who would support ACAB, but she is actually against it. I never understood why until she posted some toxic tweets on her Instagram story showing some ACABers celebrating the death of someone’s father, who was a member of the police force, and explained that she didn’t support ACAB because she didn’t support the toxicity surrounding the people who support it.

Over time, I’ve come to realise that ACAB symbolises a deeper problem that can’t be solved by only dealing with the shallower problems. As the saying goes, “a few bad apples spoil the barrel” - good cops will eventually become bad cops as they are silenced into submission to cover up the actions of other bad cops. In Hong Kong, there is another saying - “好仔唔當差”/“Good men don’t become cops”. Look, I don’t deny that there are good cops and bad cops and that it is the system that is corrupt. That can be said for other countries, but for Hong Kong, I believe that the notion of good cops still existing there is well and truly dead. That notion is so dead that some Hongkongers mock the police and their families with phrases like “while the cop’s on overtime, the wife has a threesome”.

Anyone who mocks ACAB by saying things like “well, what if you really need the police someday” is missing the point. Yes, we need the police force and there are good cops out there, but what ACABers are looking for is a change in the system so that there is more scrutiny over police being held accountable for their actions. If it means calling for an independent investigation/inquiry into or the disbanding of the (current) police force, then so be it. How can we trust the police to enforce the law if they can’t uphold the laws that they are beholden to?

Last year, I read a tweet from a Mainland Chinese person living in Australia who is supportive of the pro-democracy movement in Hong Kong. He says that any person who supports the police is an idiot because if their enforcement of the law is lawful, then they don’t need your support, but if their enforcement of the law is unlawful, then you might be the next person to be beaten up by them.

Speaking of climate change protests, Greta Thunberg finally said something useful that isn’t about climate change- wait, you say she was nominated to say it? Oh well, it was a nice try.

Oh, and by the way, Leticia Lee (李偲嫣), a pigfucker who has been supporting the Hong Kong police since before Occupy Central, has died of what is suspected to be the coronavirus. All cops are bastards and so are the people who support them.

The US elections

I never thought I’d be saying this, but I honestly hoped that Donald Trump would be reelected for four more years. I honestly hoped that the left wouldn’t learn from 2016 and not attack people who disagree with them, but yet they still managed to get Joe Biden elected while still attacking those who disagree with them. You could say that BLM was what turned the scales, but I think that Trump’s management of the coronavirus was what did it. I guess you can manipulate elections by manipulating people’s feelings, only this time around, Trump wasn’t good enough in that aspect.

On a side note, has anyone ever considered that some people can’t accept other people’s opinions if they aren’t willing to compromise and look at things from their point of view? These people wonder why others can’t accept their opinions and viewpoints and then get surprised when they say “fuck it” and double down on their own opinions and viewpoints while completely rejecting the opinions and viewpoints other people want them to even consider.

When Trump was elected in 2016, I only saw it as an ironic meme in that there would be a rise in unemployment figures as Trump personally went to every workplace and told everyone “You’re fired” given how he used to host The Apprentice. A lot of celebrities and people around me on social media started becoming anti-Trump like it was a meme. I’ve never been a fan of Trump myself, but SJW bullshit aside, seeing the measures he (and the Republicans) took against China in response to the situation in Hong Kong gradually warmed me to him. He was the one who led the US to take the first step when no other country was brave enough to. It’s the reason why some Hongkongers and Taiwanese people feel the same way.

I’ve heard some people say that Trump isn’t really going to help Hong Kong and that he is doing all this just to benefit himself. Firstly, it’s not just Trump, but also other Republicans (and maybe even Democrats) who are pushing for action within the US government, and secondly, what makes you think Biden will do anything for Hong Kong after Obama never did anything following Occupy Central? I thought that a second Trump term would be the best thing for Hong Kong, but now that things have ended up this way, I hope that the Biden administration will be just as hard on China compared to now (given what I said about bipartisan support). If Biden decides to reverse the sanctions on China, well, don’t say the right didn’t warn you about “China Joe”.

Do I believe that the election was rigged? Maybe and maybe not. The left was crying about Russian interference back in 2016 and yet here we are. Frankly, I can accept the result of the election because I have a bad feeling that, according to some on the right, Joe Biden will be deposed in favour of Kamala Harris, who has been elected vice-president. On one hand, I don’t believe it will happen because it sounds like a conspiracy theory, but on the other hand, I don’t think Biden will serve out the whole of his first term or his second term if he gets reelected.

As I’ve said for two elections in a row on the Waifu Network: Well may we say “God save the world”, because nothing will save the United States of America!

China (and why I’ve used the n-word in relation to them)

With China seemingly being victimised daily by “attacks” and “interference” from other countries, it’s hard not to think of them as absolute crybabies. It’s essentially how I feel about Asians living in Western countries and crying about racism (see above). It’s not the first time these Ken/Karen-like attitudes have been put on show and they certainly won’t be the last. But how did mainland Chinese people become such Kens and Karens (if you want a better term other than “n-words”) after a glorious history of ancient knowledge and understanding? People have discussed this over the years and this post is an attempt at distilling what I’ve read and what I think. Information has been sourced from this Reddit ELI5 post, this blog by Jeraldine Phneah and this article from The Diplomat.  Hopefully you’ll understand all of this after you read it.

From 1839, there was a long history of violence and instability in China that took a particularly dark turn when the CCP took power in 1949. Movements like the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution not only killed a lot of people in an attempt to modernise China with Western influences (if it weren’t for that, Chinese people would probably still be wearing changshans and qipaos like in historical dramas instead of using computers and smartphones), but drove a lot of people into fear and poverty as food was rationed, salary was standardised and people were encouraged to dob in other people for being intellectuals, disagreeing with the government or hiding their wealth from the government. This resulted in society becoming “every man for himself” as people were forced to do anything they could to survive. The hukou system back then meant that people couldn’t move from place to place, so many poor people ended up working in factories and living in crowded dormitories where modesty is neither a privilege nor a right. On top of that, not many people back then were able to get a good education like we do today, so lower-class people were encouraged to mimic what upper-class people did. Given the living conditions of Chinese society back then, one can only imagine the kind of corruption happening amongst the upper class that would be mimicked by the lower class.

During the Deng Xiaoping era of the late-70′s and 80′s, China saw large growths in economy, production, infrastructure and technology. While the quality of life did begin improving, a lot of the mentalities of the Mao Zedong era remained. Regulations couldn’t keep up with industry and the environment became polluted as a result. Factories began cutting corners and as a result, subpar quality, if not fake, products began appearing on the market. Poor people became rich very quickly and the “every man for himself” mentality became inherited into materialism. People began buying impulsively and buying more daily essentials than they needed even though there was no crisis and life had improved since the Cultural Revolution. If you people thought toilet paper shortages were the first of its kind, then you don’t know about formula shortages. If you thought the rise of daigou services in the past five years were the first of its kind, then you don’t know about parallel trading and the 2008 Chinese formula scandal.

Now we get to the main point of the topic. With the economic boom in China, more and more people began travelling to other places where people lived better lives in the past than they did in China. However, due to the lack of education and/or exposure to foreign cultures for many people, they were never taught the etiquette of being wealthy or being in another country. While some tourists try to understand the history and culture of other countries, mainland Chinese tourists tend to just buy expensive shit because they’ve apparently got a lot of money to waste. On top of that, there are tourists who tend to gravitate towards their own culture, for example they might eat at Chinese restaurants instead of trying out other places that aren’t Chinese. It’s why their market is so lucrative to many businesses and companies because these n-words will spend money on anything (or if they can get it for free, like buffet food on cruise ships, they’ll gorge on it).

In Chinese culture, loudness and positivity (熱鬧) is a good thing to them because it means that everyone is happy and whatever they are doing is fun. It’s why you tend to hear them being loud; it’s because they’re happy. But what they don’t understand is that not everyone likes this noise pollution and so, they end up thinking that Chinese tourists are annoying. As for modesty (i.e. going to the toilet on the street), refer back to the crowded dormitories bit from earlier; in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if families have three or more generations living in the one house nowadays.

From this, you can see where Hongkongers’ sentiments on mainland Chinese people come from. In the past, people were fleeing to Hong Kong to escape communist rule; following the 1997 handover, 150 people are migrating to Hong Kong every day while people are fleeing to other countries for a better life. With more and more mainlanders moving to Hong Kong, “mainlandisation” measures such as the use of Mandarin instead of Cantonese in schools and national education is causing mainlander immigration to become cultural enrichment (at least in my opinion). This is part of the reason why Hongkongers tend not to identify as Chinese and why all these protests have occurred over the years.

I’m gonna have to call this post here because it is getting long(er than usual) and I need to write my end-of-year review post. There are two things that I also became redpilled on, namely Doctor Who and censorship, particularly on the internet, which I’ll cover in the post to be released on New Year’s Eve.

I’ve tried my best to cover everything I could in this, but I make no guarantee that I’ve covered everything I wanted to cover because there is just too much. I hope people can understand why I feel a certain way about certain things and be civil in their discourse.

I look forward to cranking it on the moon when the struggle in Hong Kong is over.

[definitelynotplanetfall]

so about that orientation/preference brouhaha

Having slept nonzero hours and having mulled this over a bit

I don’t exactly have a horse in this race as a filthy Fake Pseudo Ace That Doesn’t Even Have The Decency To Be Aro Or Gay Or Even Completely Ace I Mean Stolen Valor Much. It’s literally impossible to criminalize not having sex. Utterly unenforceable. I get that I’m not being targeted here and my opinion doesn’t really matter except as a barometer for “is planetfall a good person” (which I am not, and could have told you without any of the fuss). I have no specific love for the phrase “sexual preference,” I don’t think I have ever even used it, but also it’s such a nothing distinction. I do not care that Important Organizations declared it offensive years ago, because the reasoning they used to do so is silly, and of the people I’ve seen saying it definitely is not offensive what on earth are you on about, a bunch of them are LGBTQ.

And again, to address the issue that spawned this specific instance of this discourse, given Barrett’s record and the way homophobes do seem to insist on saying preference, it probably is a signal she intends to use her power in bigoted ways.

But like.

First of all, it is incredibly foot-shooty to say the evidence of her prejudice is the fact that she said “sexual preference” and not “sexual orientation,” which requires a fair bit of contextual understanding to see what the problem is and looks like pedantic hair-splitting without that knowledge, when shit like this exists.

Second - I’m sort of Von Wokensteining here, and to my understanding this entire argument started from one tweet or something similar, and it’d be misleading to assert “this one tweeter is the avatar for progressivism!“

EDIT: That’s not correct, it was a senator at her hearing rather than a rando providing commentary. I should have confirmed this myself and only learned it a few days later. This shows how accusations are taken out of context and passed around demanding judgment. I definitely could have spent more time reading about this incident, because I am a shitty excuse for a person with unlimited time. Every random Joe Blow does not have that luxury.

In my defense I was not paying attention to the hearing because I just assumed she would be maximally bad on all issues, considering who appointed her, and that was not a swamp I really wanted to wade through.

However.

People rushing to defend the assertion that “sexual preference” is self-evidently offensive gives at the very least an impression of a unified ideological coalition.

And, I said this in the last post but it bears repeating, the left lost the right to use “born this way” rhetoric the moment it became a semi-common talking point that you need to challenge your attractions if you aren’t attracted to an adequate cross-section of your area’s ethnic makeup or whatever. To intentionally try to change your attractions. To choose your attractions, if I may be so bold.

The charge against “sexual preference” is that it implies that orientation is a choice, which is supposedly hopelessly reactionary. Even ignoring for a moment that it does not in fact imply this, you do not get to tell people it is indefensible to IMPLY things that your side SAYS OUTRIGHT.

Also, quite frankly, I consider myself to have been made more ace during my lifetime by certain prevalent messages (and other hyper-targeted ones), and like, if the argument is actually that non-innate sexualities are illegitimate, does that mean that there can be no moral objection to someone raping me because the sky wizard said so?

[edit: screaming redacted]

It literally does not matter whether who you’re attracted to is a choice or inborn or whatever because that is not the moral dimension, the moral dimension is “does it hurt anyone?” which it fucking doesn’t why is this so difficult

I don’t give a shit about the rhetoric. The rhetoric sucks. The rhetoric is wrong.

Third, I’m extremely suspicious of any sort of euphemism-treadmill type anything, but one thing that’s especially suspect is when someone says “X term is offensive to Y demographic” against the wishes of that demographic. Like, my circles are not the widest, but I have mostly seen LGBTQ people being upset at being spoken for against their own wishes, sometimes with people chiming in and helpfully saying “no, see, you should be offended! This article says you are offended so stop pretending not to be!”

I am not trying to make a false equivalency of the relative badness levels but please, try to appreciate the poetic irony in unironically deploying “The Dedicated Truth Decreer said the innocuous-on-its-face thing was bad” in this of all possible situations.

It’s the “listen to X (I am not X, and X that disagree with me are not real X so don’t listen to them)” thing. The entire authority of that sort of article rests on the authors speaking for groups, so when members of that group say “this is bullshit pedantry and not offensive, and in fact your declaring it offensive on my behalf makes me feel less safe in places purportedly organized for my benefit” does in fact undermine the authority of those declarations.

Fourth, this is not as strong of an argument and really super tangential, but I’m personally sick of people just... giving things up because bad people claim them. I don’t extend this infinitely, so for instance Hindus trying to reclaim the swastika are probably right on the level of “it is wrong that this important symbol from our culture has been made synonymous with the greatest evil in living memory, and this change should be reverted,” but it’s so culturally ingrained that I don’t know if it is possible to fix at this point.

However, I remember when a bunch of Nazis were like “we own Pepe the frog now” and the response to this was like, “Yeah! Let them grab whatever culture they want, it is tainted by their even saying they want it! Also all Pepe memes made before this point are retroactively fascist!” and just...

That’s fucking transparently stupid. That specific thing has abated and you can find lefty Pepe memes now, nature is healing etc etc, but the “anime = fascist” thing hasn’t and it’s so so mind-numbing that you would just cede entire genres of art and start asserting that anyone who enjoys them is automatically irredeemable without considering what effect this might have on how unhinged you look or your ability to say your ideal world is better than theirs. I remember arguing with someone about this circa 2016 and I said something to the effect of “well what if instead of next they claim jazz” and they said it would suck that nobody could listen to jazz anymore. (iirc, this person was white which makes it extra hilarious/depressing, but the forum thread where it happened seems to be deleted so assume I made this up from whole cloth)

The reason I bring this up is part of the reason people say “it implies orientation is a choice” is because that’s what homophobes say it means (in contradiction to the literal words, naturally) and why they insist on using it. It’s less of a concrete thing, but the two feel isomorphic.

Lastly... OK so in my other post I used sort of a cringy programming metaphor, because I was half asleep so the only part of my brain still functioning was “comprehension of programming problems” amirite fellas. I don’t like definition debates in general but it seems like a lot of the people insisting “preference = choice” are using different definitions, so this is mostly just to show how that is not the only obvious interpretation.

A sexual orientation is a description of what gender(s) someone wants to have sex with.

A preference is a description of what someone wants.

Therefore a sexual orientation is a type of preference.

Note that nothing there says anything about origin or mutabiliy. Just that if you ask someone what their orientation is, you will get information about what they do and don’t want.

I need to stress that based on the context that sparked off this debacle I can understand why someone’s interpretation of the phrase might be “orientation is a choice” - even though I think it’s wrong to assume that’s what is meant by the phrase inherently, it’s a reasonable reaction to pattern-match talking points.

But the other thing is that it’s probably wrong to perma-delete the phrase because it isn’t gibberish.

What I mean by that is I get frustrated whenever someone is talking about an expenditure of energy and time related to feelings, and someone else comes along and screeches “THAT’S NOT WHAT EMOTIONAL LABOR MEANS”

and yes, that is not what the jargon phrase “emotional labor” means

but the person you’re yelling at was in fact describing labor that is emotional, and due to the way English works, you are allowed to delete the “that is” and move the adjective before the noun. Some would even recommend this in the name of concision. (And as I’ve said before, “emotion work” as a substitute phrase is...linguistically unpleasant to say the least.)

Saying that you can’t say “sexual preference” is sort of in the same boat. People will want to talk about preferences that are sexual, because there are more variables than just orientation, but those things still matter and should get a category name and look the entire argument falls apart if you don’t make bizarre assumptions about the connotations of the word “preference” and there are only so many ways I can state that fact.

IN SHITTY CONCLUSION

The fact that I wrote out a giant post defending a phrase I don’t otherwise care about reveals some sort of deep moral failing.

[aftertheworldends-blog1]

My Two Cents On Writing Trans and Genderqueer Characters Without Focusing On Their Bodies

a.k.a. Upping your game in the sci-fi&fantasy inclusivity challenge

(a tale of a genderqueer author figuring it out zerself)

Let’s start with this: my world has no gender binary assumptions. It is a futuristic speculative version of our reality, so the history of the binary is there; therefore, people have an understanding of man and woman, but also an understanding of bi-, tri-, multigender, genderfluid, etc.

Gender norms have been tossed and nobody gives a damn about them anymore. But most importantly, they have an understanding that the body of a person doesn’t define them.

 So, how do you describe FULL gender diversity in a world which doesn’t focus on bodies or gender stereotypes.

Quick answer is: you don’t.

 If you are going to be respectful towards the gender of your characters, then you mustn’t fall into the trap of doing the opposite of what you’re advocating for.

The thing is, that in a world like mine, any and every of my characters could be trans and it wouldn’t matter. There are trans characters I have introduced who have not been explicitly outed, unless you have stumbled upon my online list of transgender and genderqueer OCs.

Here are some of the mistakes authors (and most specifically cis authors) could and have made in order to “reveal” a character as trans:

- have them be misgendered or their identity otherwise disrespected

- have them be the object of a hate crime

- have them “play the role” of who they were assigned at birth

- talk about their bodies

 Let’s get this question out of the way:

But Rori, I write romance/erotica and I want to describe my character’s bodies!

Here’s an actual trans reader and writer who has a brilliant piece about this topic. (Warning: the author is very straightforward so beware the 18+ content, plus use of the *q-word*.)

Their strongest point is: detailed description of body-parts could jolt a trans or gender-nonconforming reader out of the story. If you intend to cater to trans readers, and intend to be respectful towards trans characters, maybe lay off the genitalia talk.

I guarantee reading trans authors would give you better ideas how to handle this, but here’s a quote from a yet-unpublished story from my world:

“My hotel has excellent room service,” I say.

She just nods and kisses me again. As I press against her, working my hips so my desire would show, I could tell by the similar reactions of her body, that these first minutes of exploring each other have been as good for her as they have for me.

~ ‘I Think I Know What Love Is’ by Rori I

 Parts 2&3 of the article above talk more about how to avoid trapping your characters in a box and I think it has something valuable to say about describing a body for SF&F authors as well. (It references “Ancillary Justice” in particular ^^)

  Back to topic.

Mine is not a yes or no solution. There have been trans authors who have successfully included negative experiences of being trans in their stories. (A. Sieracki and Austin Chant come to mind.) But they are trans authors – they don’t need my list of things you could do to respect your OCs. Those are their stories.

 (Quick thing: I identify as genderqueer yet exclusionary attitudes still have me pausing on saying “our stories” even if it shouldn’t.)

 So how do we make space for trans people in writing—or most importantly, how do you represent trans people well—when you shouldn’t be making the mistakes described above.

Well, here’s a thing: you don’t have to have done anything to your body, or to be presenting a certain way, to be trans. Trans people come in all shapes and sizes.

People who use pronouns alternative to “she” or “he” have been by far the easiest.

My solution was to have everybody introduce themselves with their name and pronoun, which supports the idea that there are NO assumptions and no gender norms in my world. This way, I have already introduced a few characters as fluid, and one character who uses “zie” and is multigender.

As for the rest:

Unless you don’t want to focus at all on the character, there are ways to talk about their trans identity without stereotyping.

 1. A change of pronoun.

An example from my world would be when a character (Sergeant Sophronia Ulu) decides she will begin using “she/her”; the others acknowledge that change, and then move on to other things. You could write similar off-hand mentions to demonstrate that such a change is addressed but not obsessed over in your world.

Note: you don’t have to have the character be misgendered to show the change. The character can open the conversation with the news of their new pronouns, or you could have in-world signs that a character uses a certain pronoun.

Nowadays, some people use bracelets or buttons. Even in a fantasy universe, there could be a way to represent that – a symbol sewn into the clothes, a certain type of crown or other jewelry.

I warn you though that this method should still not be used to represent the person’s body. Don’t say “this person had sewn a fox symbol on her clothes, meaning she’d used magic to become female”.  Say “the fox was a symbol of womanhood” or “the fox on the jacket/tunic/whatever directed me to using feminine pronouns”.

Also, don’t single out your trans characters. If they wear a symbol, have cis characters wear it too!

 2. Another way would be to have the character reference their trans-ness in some form themselves.

For contemporary stories, it could be as easy as saying, “I am trans.” If you’re writing SF&F and have chosen to be as ambiguous as I have, here is the way I’ve tried to approach it:

“Well— […] I was supposed to meet my doctor on Tuesday, after this team gathering thing. I missed my last two chances for doctor’s appointment because of work and because I was on a vacation. If this occupation lasts for weeks – which it might – I might miss my next hormone doze. F**k it, I shouldn’t have cancelled my appointments!”

“You can’t miss a dose at all?” Rutherford wondered.

“Well, I could, but I don’t want to, and it makes me nervous. With the implant, I have never skipped one since I was fifteen.”

~ Chapter 27, ‘Blacklight’ by Rori I

 This is not ideal and does make the character uncomfortable, but it doesn’t put them in harm’s way. Most importantly, it is an opportunity to show respect towards the trans experience:

[M]odern healthcare was attentive to patient’s needs and everybody with a hormone implant received regular dosage, pre-programmed and regulated by physicians during scheduled check-ups. Nobody had to worry about forgetting to take a hormone pill – the implant was so much part of them that they never had to think it was there, or so Gareth had been told.

“We’re on an Army base, Suarez,” Gareth reminded. “Somebody could have a look at your implant.”

~ Chapter 27, ‘Blacklight’ by Rori I

 It gives you the chance to make space for trans and genderqueer individuals, to make them a respected part of your world.

This is perhaps the most important question when you include any diversity in your story: how does my world accommodate this character’s needs and if it doesn’t why shouldn’t it?

And let’s make this clear right now: accommodating the needs of anyone, based on their identity, their ethnicity, their race, their physical or mental health, is not a troublesome burden which authors have had forced upon them because of PC culture.

If you however believe it is, you are simply better off not including diversity in your novel. Any identity must be treated with the respect it deserves or left alone.

Therefore, a world must have tools in place to address the needs of any individual it includes. If it doesn’t, there better be a good reason why.

 And here is my last bit of advice:

Talk to trans and genderqueer people. Seek out Beta readers who can help you with representing them correctly. Do your research. Read a lot of literature written by trans authors. Here’s a list of some you can start with.

And when you get all that feedback on your story, don’t take it as “good enough”. 

The implant idea you see described in the above excerpt came from a trans acquaintance. This didn’t mean it put a stop on how far I must go to accommodate trans characters.

 Finally, one more time, and I hope this helps: if any of these steps, ideas, hints, give you a headache and overwhelm you rather than inspire you to change your story-world, then I am afraid inclusivity might not be for you.

And that’s just how it is.

 As always:

Stay readin’!

Ro-ri

[theochelpsquad]

Lina Schlitz (Shingeki no Kyojin OC)

HEYAAAAAAAA its me again i made a really big mess of the old char sheet because i did it at like 3am so i decided i would redo it !! thanks again <333 

H: it’s fine! For the second time (bc Mod Eris is lazy!!!!) I’ll be the only reviewer. Under the cut, because this one is long!

Name: Lina Schlitz - リナシュリッツ

H: Shlitz is actually a name that has mid-German origins--nothing to fix here, it’s right on the SnK map!

Nicknames: Querida - pet in portuguese, given by her grandma. Idiot - given by some of her squad members. (i dont really have any other ideas for nicknames plz alp)

H: Most nicknames I’ve had or given come from inside jokes or shared experiences--a joke about her age when she started training or an alias from a battle, maybe?

Age: 17

Gender: Female

Birthday: 18/11/833 - scorpio (so she would be in the …. 102nd squad i think ? as she would be 17 by the time eren, mikasa, armin & the squad were 15… .although i kinda wanna make her older . .. should i?)

H: I honestly like making my characters older--older characters have more extensive backstories and more room for creativity. However, it’s your choice in the end! (And I’m pretty sure if she was 17 while the trio were 15, she’d be in the 102nd.)

Faceclaim: michiko malandro (from michiko and hatchin)

(i think this one is the most accurate - hairstyle , face, everything, n expression)

(without the chains tho… and the survey corps uniform… and shorter hair)

H: She’s so pretty cri

-personality:

positives;

brave - lina is not afraid to put herself in danger or do risky things, so she can get things done better than most people

decisive - she can throw her humanity out of the window to make decisions

honest - she doesn’t really care what people think of her, so she will often say what she thinks to your face

direct - as above, lina gets straight to the point 

observant - she often notices the little details, from environment to facial expressions or body language

realistic - she knows that she might die any day, and she lives life to the fullest

simple - relating to her trait of being realistic, lina views life in a simple way - you either die or you don’t, and if you don’t, then you better make the most of it

kind - despite not showing it much, lina is actually quite kind due to her grandparents and parents raising her to be a good lil child

neutrals;

competitive - she loves a good competition and will never back down from a challenge

sarcastic - lina uses sarcasm to make people laugh and hide her true feelings

unsentimental - as mentioned in her trait description of decisive, she knows that her 

comrades, family, and friends can die any day and they have a high chance of it too, so lina detaches herself from them as much as possible

tough - lina can power through a lot of situations, as she contains her emotions on the inside

calculating - she can observe a situation and make a decision off of it, but also she is good at making plans

strong-willed - lina will not give up. ever. no way hozay

perfectionist - everything must be perfect - including her statistics, battle technique, horse, and mostly everything under the sun. however most things aren’t perfect which annoys her to no end

negative;

cocky - lina can often overestimate herself, in battle and in casual situations, which leads to her putting herself and her comrades in danger

brittle - her emotions are easily hurt, although she doesn’t show it

manipulative - lina will lead people on if it benefits her

compulsive - she often acts off of instincts and emotions alone, tying in with being cocky

disrespectful - adding in to lina’s trait of being honest, she often disrespects her superiors, elders, and anyone on the planet if she feels like it - which doesn’t make her that likeable 

hostile - being hostile to keep people at a distance means that lina doesn’t have many friends

inconsiderate - as long as it is good enough for lina, it is good enough for you so you better not complain got it got it ok

messy - lina’s bed is often unmade and her appearance is disheveled

mannerless - tying in with being disrespectful, she often licks her plates, chews with her mouth open, talks while speaking, disrespects her superiors, ect

neurotic - despite not showing it, lina often has anxiety attacks about her past and friends, and what will happen to her (her symptoms include nausea, fear of dying, a racing heart, and heightened senses - including trembling and sweating, also staring off into space)

possessive - lina is possessive of her possessions, her friends, herself, and mostly everything that she views belongs to her

procrastinator - she often pushes things like apologising, doing training, and eating, off until the last minute

sly - tying in with lina’s trait of being manipulative, she can worm her way into someones mind quite easily and manipulate them for her own gain

uncooperative - she is terrible at teamwork, believing that everyone is ‘cramping her style’ and slowing her down, so she often refuses to work in a team and has to be forced - unless she is the leader, and then she loves to boss everyone around

sadistic - lina enjoys cutting the limbs off of titans before she kills them, however only ones that remind her of the one that killed her grandma and family - the others she has a strange interest in

cold - she often pushes people away, rejects friendship offers, and isolates herself

stubborn - once lina has decided she is doing something, there is no changing her mind

hot-tempered - she often flies off of the handle when provoked or annoyed, or if she is in a bad mood

H: So, from skimming, I’m summarizing her personality as appearing outwardly cold (though she doesn’t always mean to be) but actually being a lot different and less intense when you get to know her.

-appearance:

Hair Colour: brown-black

Hair Length/Style: mid-back length, extremely straight - tied in a high ponytail (so it is around the length of kristas/sashas)

Eye Colour: nut brown (very dark brown) with bits of lighter brown

Skin Colour: bronze-coloured

H; Seeing as the SnKverse is mostly white and light-skinned, how does her race affect her life? I’m guessing that once the Titans arrive, people don’t care what the heck you look like if you’re the one saving their asses, but maybe when she was a child?

Body build: mesomorph, a mix of hourglass and inverted triangle - lean

H: As she continues her training, she’ll begin losing weight and her hourglass figure will be less dramatic. If you want to write/draw her according to the timeline of her training, that’s a good thing to keep in mind!

Demeanor: relaxed - arms crossed, leaning on walls, slouched in chairs, head tilted back, head resting on table

Ethnicity: Brazilian/Portuguese/German/English (where is the story set in ??? nobody knows)

H: I’m not certain myself, but I made a post on where the story most likely takes place. Brazil isn’t on the map, though. You could make her Brazilian ancestry from her grandparents or great-grandparents who immigrated north. Then again, the map isn’t canon, so who cares?

Height: 5'3

Weight: 8 stone 6

H: She’s slightly underweight, but enough that’s it’s realistic for a malnourished environment.

Scars: One down her right arm, due to when a titan had her in its mouth during an expedition and, although one of her teammates killed it, it’s jaw fell onto her arm when it hit the ground and broke her arm.

-statistics:

Combat: 9/10

Hand to Hand Combat: 7/10

Agility: 4/10

Initiative: 8/10

Wits: 5/10

Teamwork: 4/10

3D Maneuvering Gear: 6/10

Offense: 9/10

Defense: 4/10

Cockiness: 10/10

Titan Kills: 

Solo: 11

In team: 21 (is this ok ?? i assumed since she was 2 years older, p good at fighting, and in the scouting legion, that she would have a higher kill count than say, mikasa, even though she’s an ackerman, because mikasa is 2 years younger and hasn’t been on that many expeditions)

H: Sure! The 102nd would most likely have a pretty high kill count,seeing as a lot of battles happen after their training.

Grad Rank: 1st (ahh is this ok too? i thought since she was in the 102nd squad, and her family was in the military, that she could be 1st since there aren’t any y'know titan shifters or ackermans in her squad)

H: Also fine! The 104th was a special case--standards likely wouldn’t be as high in other training corps.

Grade: A

background:

lina’s ancestors moved with most of the world to germany inside the walls, the only safe place on the eartha lot of her family died on the way, only two survived along with a few other people - a wife and her husband, alanza and lucas santos - not much older than 18.

when they made it to the walls, they were given a small, one bedroom house inside wall maria, shinganshina district as they were one of the last people to arrive.

after a few years, they had a child together, and his name was to be victor. they taught their native language, portuguese told him to teach it to his future children to keep their country alive.

lucas decided to enroll in the military and joined the garrison to try and keep his family safe, but he was tragically killed when an abnormal titan flung themselves on top of the wall and ran along it, crushing the garrison underfoot.

it was eventually killed, with the help of one of the first elite teams and the scouting legion. lucas was one of the soldiers tragically killed in the attack and alanza was left to raise victor by herself.

when victor was a teenager, he too joined the military - scouting legion - despite his mothers wishes. he managed to survive, however, long enough for him to be promoted to team leader - and for his arm to be bitten off in a mission, not long after his promotion. he was discharged by the military and met a girl by the name of hanna.

it was love at first sight, and they married only a few months after they met - after all, they could die at any time. alanza was soon a grandmother to a child of the name sofia.

by this time, the schlitz/santos line had become quite legendary in the walls, due to their skill and unwavering determination to help mankind. this cycle of the generations was continued until it got to maria and dedrick - lina’s grandparents. their father, abe, had been brutally eaten alive by a titan. due to this they were both firmly against any of their children or grandchildren joining the military in fear of their safety, and so the cycle ended. that is, until lina was born from delmira and adelchi - maria and dedrick’s daughter and step-son.

as soon as abe saw her face he knew she would join the military despite anyones wishes. as lina grew up, abe’s prediction slowly came true - she idolized the military due to their unwavering bravery and optimism that humanity would win the war between them and titans.

she was often caught sneaking out of her house to watch the scouting legion coming home from missions, cheering them on despite the crowds nervous and dejected muttering. so it was no surprise when, on her 12th birthday, the first thing she asked for was to join the military. (that lil shmishirt)

she persisted until her grandparents were brought to her house the next day from their home in wall rose. they told her of all the dangers, and yet she still persisted. they finally agreed - but only because lina’s father said he would join with her.

as soon as the words came out of his mouth, a loud bang rang out that shook the floor and caused panicked screaming to be erupted from outside. lina’s family rushed through their front door, only for them to be met with a crowd of people sprinting past, yelling and screaming.

they pushed through the crowd and found themselves at the back of another crowd, all staring up at the wall. a giant titan, over 50 metres tall, was standing behind it - looking down at the people of shiganshina with a blank expression, its hand clutching the wall. steam came off of it, increasing the temperature of lina despite how far away it was.

her family was frozen, huddling together and clutching each others hands. maria - lina’s grandmother - was clutching the cross and figures of wall maria, rose, and sina attached to her necklace and praying.

the titan moved its foot back and kicked the gate, sending it splintering all over the town. titans waiting behind it were catapulted forwards, crushing citizens and soldiers along with the multiple boulders.

lina’s family turned and ran as fast as they could. despite being old, lina’s grandparents were fit and kept up with her family - delmira dragging lina by her hand.

they made it to the docks in wall maria just as the last boat was leaving. delmira, with lina in tow, immediately began to shove her way to the front to plead with the soldiers to let lina on board. they denied her request and delmira whispered something to lina. they hugged each other as long as possible before delmira broke away and disappeared into the crowd.

luckily, the guards were distracted by the giant horde of people trying to break through. lina ran up the docks, as far away from the crowd as possible, and found herself level with a boat - it looked full to the brim. lina looked to the next one and eyed it apprehensively. stepping back a few paces, she sprinted as fast as possible towards the ledge. pushing herself off of it. her hands reached out to the edge of the boat, but the side of the boat was slippery and her hands couldn’t get a grip in time.

lina scrabbled for a grip, her fingers of her left hand slowly slipping off as she began to fall, but before she could, her wrist was snatched up by a calloused hand.

she looked up to see a friend of her mothers, adelmo weber, holding onto her arm. he pulled her up and onto the boat, despite the outrage that burst from the lips of the citizens that there wasn’t any space left on the boat, and even though she was just a child, he should have not saved her.

lina looked back just in time to see the crowd of people frantically running away - towards wall rose - from a titan, nearly 10 metres tall, picking them up and eating them like insects. the manic crowd drew level with lina’s boat, and she made eye contact with her grandma - at the back, out of breath - as she was snatched up by the titan.

lina screamed loudly, screaming at her grandmother to fight, fight the titan and get to wall rose - but it was futile.

the titan bit maria in half and let her severed legs fall to the ground as lina finally reached the edge of the boat, stretching out her hand to her grandmothers half-eaten corpse and the rest of her family.

the crowd was surrounded by titans coming from both sides and they were all massacred.

lina slumped down to the floor of the boat, and cried until she could cry no more. she slept until they reached wall rose.

H; Holy crap, all of this when she was 12? Poor kid! She probably has a lot of left-over trauma and stress from that day: PTSD, anxiety, possibly some extreme paranoia and OCD-like tendencies to check over and over that everything is okay.

the arrival of the boats was not received well by the residents of wall rose. they immediately began to riot about food shortages, overpopulation and that the titans would be drawn to the bigger population of wall rose.

lina exited across the drawbridge with the swarm of people who was on her boat, and they were promptly greeted by being pushed back by the citizens of wall rose.

they said that the other boats were too full, and they would not have enough room for all of the people on lina’s boat. the people onboard rioted immediately, calling out where would they go, would you be so heartless as to send us back - until they were silenced by the garrison and military police separating the brawling crowds.

they told all the refugees to go to the town square, where the people of appropriate build and age would be enlisted to the military with no choice, while the rest would go to work in the fields.

lina was enlisted despite being only just 12, and so began the start of her journey.

H: Woah, that’s young, even for SnK! Was she the only recruit of her age? Was she the focus of unwanted attention because of it? I have a student one year younger than the rest of the class at school and he’s always being picked on by the teacher (who I hate but that’s another story).

-trivia:

knows portuguese and when she is angry she slips in and out of it (for example, you are todas as dicas i hate eu estou para te you) also when she is tired or distracted she does too (i quero sleep por how tempo até as lights) this is because although her first language is english/german, her family spoke mainly portuguese at their home

H: My parents’ first languages were French and Arabic, and they do this all the time too! Nothing really important, I just wanted to add that. :)

she has the loudest, most boisterous laugh ever - although nobody has ever properly heard it

lina snores so loud she often kept the rest of her dormies awake

biggest sweet tooth ever - even though she rarely gets to eat anything other than beef stew and rations

H: This might not have been intentional, but people who experience traumatic events as children usually end up keeping childlike qualities with them for a long amount of time. Having a sweet tooth or sleeping with toys is not unusual for someone who went through what she did.

she has a bit of a portuguese/brazilian accent, mixed with english/german

lina cuts her own hair

her name means the heroes river, or river of light

SUMMARY-

H: To be honest, this character’s pretty airtight! There’s not much you really need to change on this one. She’s believable but still interesting enough to be a main character. Overall, great job!!

[othercat2]

fic: (they flow from form to form) 11/?

==>Karkat: see a girl who wasn’t there

Going back to school is weird, for exactly the reasons Karkat thought it would be weird. Instead of being slightly unpopular nobody in the high school class system, he’s now notorious everyone-stare-at-him nobody. (This is a thing that has not happened since the never-to-be-mentioned Frog Incident in first grade.) Karkat survives the first two classes with only moderate “overhearing” of conversations he was definitely meant to hear. (“Karkat’s one of the witches?” in American History, quickly hushed up, followed by a debate over whether or not “warlock” was the correct term for a male witch. The debate is settled by the teacher, who says, “We prefer to call ourselves Believers.”)

It’s a little bit of a surprise that one of the teachers is in the cult, though it probably shouldn’t have been. Karkat brings it up to Sollux during lunch. “Yeah, a lot of the teachers are ‘believers,’” Sollux says.

“I’m trying to formulate a response that doesn’t sound like the punchline of a ‘funny you don’t look, Jewish’ joke. That is to say, Mr. Turton did not seem like a cultist until he said a thing about it,” Karkat says.

Sollux snorts. “Your dad lets you tell ethnic jokes? He almost literally tore Mike Watkins a new asshole for using the phrase ‘jew them down.’”

Karkat rolls his eyes. “The joke format literally makes fun of expectations of what a ‘Jew’ should look like. It’s an inverted ethnic joke because it makes fun of stereotypes and assumptions. That’s a paraphrase of what my dad’s friend Jean told me to say anyway.”

“And you didn’t mention she was Jewish, leading to the phrase ‘some of my best friends are Jewish and they think it’s okay,’” Sollux says with mocking admiration.

“Oh my god, shut up,” Karkat says.

Sollux snickers. “Nope, and watch the ‘my-godding,’ seriously.”

“Casual blasphemy a bad idea?” Karkat asks, feeling a little more cautious suddenly. (And self-conscious.)

“Yeeeeaaah,” Sollux drawls out. “You could say that.”

Karkat asks questions about the teachers, and which of them were “believers.” He also learns that Sollux’s grandmother was Jewish. (“Was she okay with--?” Karkat asks, waving his hands to indicate the town, the cult, all the weirdness. Grandma Della apparently was okay with it, though Great Grandma Corrinne on the maternal side was definitely not okay with it, and very outspoken about it, though it turns out she was not very clear on what “it” actually was. “Family reunions are still kind of tense, even though we get along with most of the relatives on that side,” Sollux explains.)

Karkat is one his way to Chemistry from lunch when he realizes he hasn’t seen Terezi all day. He usually sees her before school, and she’s in his Lit, American History and Chem classes. He hadn’t seen her before school, or in Lit, or in History, or at lunch. She is also not in her seat by the window. Pausing in the door way to take this in gets him pushed from behind as other students try to get around him. Hastily he heads for his seat.

He takes notes and listens to the lecture but he’s distracted by the girl in front of him, to the right. She’s a blonde with short hair held back by a black kitty-ear head band. She’s dressed in a short blue skirt, a blue ruffled blouse, blue fingerless gloves that go all the way to her elbows, blue and white checked stockings, and combat boots. She’s chewing bubble gum and blowing bubbles, but otherwise seems to be pretty fascinated by the chemistry lecture. She’s sitting leaned forward at her desk, tapping the surface with long indigo nails. Mr. Ross should be pretty disapproving of the bubblegum and probably also the skirt, but he hasn’t said a word all through the lecture.  

No one else sees her, either, if the stray comment of “what is Vantas looking at?” is any indication. The comment makes the girl turn slightly, and Karkat flinches. The girl doesn’t have eyes, just something that looks at first like a pair of black holes, but are actually something like thin short black hairs grouped together in what might be an eye-shape if seen at a distance. In a dark room.

It’s not dark, and he can see the black hairs moving. Karkat feels hot all over suddenly, and there is a pressure at the back of his throat, like he might throw up. Karkat quickly looks away, and tries to breathe. Black Eyed Kid, he thinks frantic and slightly nonsensical, remembering a ghost story and his heart speeding up, even as he recognizes Void. Who wasn’t really the type to give him a jump scare; that was mostly a Breath thing, so what the hell?

(He gets a sense that this wasn’t Her intent at all.)  

“He looks like he’s going to puke,” someone says.

“Karkat, are you all right?” Mr. Ross asks, coming over to Karkat’s desk.

“I’m okay,” he says. “I’m sorry,” this is more toward Void. He’s been unsettled before, but he’s never really gotten sick at how any of the Gods looked before. Disturbed plenty, but the black not-eyes had hit some unforeseen “nope” button, and now he’s trying not to throw up.

“It’s all right, Karkat,” Mr. Ross says. “Do you need to go to the nurse’s office?”

He stares blankly at Mr. Ross. “I--my stuff.”

“I can help him get to the nurse’s office, Mr. Ross,” Void says. The math teacher startles at the unexpected voice, but otherwise doesn’t react to Void’s appearance, which hasn’t changed as far as Karkat can see. (Or not see, he can’t quite look at Her.

“Thank you, Katie,” Mr. Ross says. It’s the name of a girl who was absent today.

The girl--Void--grabs his books, and Karkat manages to shuffle after Her, out of the classroom and down the hall. “Hey, should I change my optical configuration?” Void asks. “I didn’t think it would give you the screaming meemies?”

“There are no meemies, screaming or otherwise,” Karkat says. He leans against the wall, which is nice and cool.  “You do you. It was just. Okay there’s this site that has various stories about ghost hauntings and hoaxes. And one of the stories is about black eyed teenagers who seem really invested in getting you to let them into your car or house or something. And um, maybe I was thinking of that?”

“That definitely doesn’t sound like screaming meemies,” Void says with mild sarcasm. “Nope.”

“Trying to be a gentleman here,” Karkat says defensively. He manages to swallow the fuck you. He looks up, and makes it as far as Her mouth, which is smiling at him. She has dimples.

“The cilia aren’t black now, want to look?” Void asks.

He steals a glance up, and the hairs--the cilia--are a bright pink now, and glowing, so he can’t really make out individual hairs. There’s movement still, but it isn’t quite as disturbing. “Okay that’s--” okay he’s not going to say that’s better. “Thank you,” he says.

She grins a bit wider. “You’re welcome! Let’s get you to the nurse’s office.”

She takes him by the hands and pulls him through a black hole into…not the nurse’s office. It’s not a room, really, just a bright shifting haze. “What the--?”

Life is a girl his age, wearing an old fashioned nurse’s uniform, with a little hat that barely controls Her short, wildly curly hair. Her eyes are a vivid blue from corner to corner, and red fractal shapes flicker beneath her skin. “Void,” She says crisply. “What are You doing?”

“Taking him to see the nurse,” Void says innocently. “Hellooooo, nurse!”

“You are ridiculous,” Life says. She sounds stern, but there’s a smile underneath it. “Come here, Karkat,” she says, and indicates an examination table that wasn’t there before. “Have a seat.”

Karkat obeys, a little nervously. “I’m okay, just a little queasy,” he says.

Life mm-hms, like She’s listening, but is paying attention to something else. She asks him questions and examines him. (He feels brief pressure against his skin, multiple contacts from things that don’t feel like hands or fingers.) He gets the sense that She’s also talking to Void. “If any of Us make you sick, tell Us immediately,” Life says.

“Not like We wouldn’t notice,” Void says.

“Hush,” Life says. “Tell Us,” She repeats.

“Okay,” Karkat says. He wants to ask about the urgency in Her voice. Was getting sick something that happened a lot, with Spouses? He doesn’t ask.

“How do you feel now?” Life asks.

“Better,” Karkat says. “It kind of started fading once I was out of the classroom.”  

One of Her hands touches his cheek. Her hand is cool, and he kind of wants to lean into it. “Let me take care of the rest,” She says, and waits.

It takes Karkat a minute to realize what She’s waiting for. “Sure, go ahead,” he says. There’s a blue glow, and the sick queasiness fades away. “Thank you, I feel a lot better,” he says. She starts to lower her hand, and impulsively, he grabs it. (His pulse racing a little fast.) She gives him a startled look, but doesn’t look upset so, go him. She also doesn’t pull away. He bends a little and kisses her knuckles, and lets her go.

She smiles at him. “You’re a sweet boy.”

“I’m not sweet,” Karkat says automatically. “I’m salty as f--a salty thing.” Somehow he felt really reluctant to swear at Her. He looks toward Void, whose eyes are still glowing and pink, with a shimmer of movement that he tried not to think of as something that should not be on a human face. “Is there a reason you were hanging out in my chemistry class?” he asks Void.

“I’m always hanging around,” Void says. “You just saw me that time.”

“Okay,” Karkat says. As I was going up the stair I saw a girl who wasn’t there! “I have no idea of how to feel about that.” It was kind of creepy, but it went with a name like ‘Void’ he supposed. He takes a breath. “I was wondering if there might be trouble and that’s why you were there.”

“Maybe a little? But mostly, I’m all over the place,” Void says.

“There’s danger, but you’re safe for now,” Life says. “Void wasn’t the only one watching.”

“You?” Karkat asks, and wonders about the other gods.

Life smiles. “The junior priests,” She says. “So in a way, also Us.” Life takes him by the hands and guides him off the table. “You should go wake up now,” she says briskly.

“I’m awake?” Karkat asks, confused. He’s suddenly lying in a bed, staring up at the ceiling. The light is dim and mostly coming from the window. The “nurse’s office” was split into two: a cubby where the desk and student prescriptions lived, and a small infirmary with four beds. He sat up slowly and squinted at the clock. He was missing Comp. “Urgh.”

“Karkat? How are you feeling?” Ms. Tyler asked from the cubby. There was the sound of a chair being pushed back, and the nurse entered the room. She was a dark skinned woman with a splash of freckles across her cheeks and startlingly blue eyes. (For a moment Karkat thought of Life.)    

“I’m okay,” he says. “I’m missing Comp though.”

“What’s your next class?”

“Spanish,” Karkat says.

“Do you think you feel well enough to go to the next class, or do you want to go home?” Ms. Tyler asks.

“Dad’s in the middle of class,” Karkat says. “I don’t want him to have to come get me.”

Ms. Tyler gives him a faintly exasperated look. “That’s not the answer to the question I asked, hon,” she says.

“I think I can go to class,” Karkat says. “I just kind of don’t want to after having a fainting princess moment.”

“I wouldn’t call it that,” Ms. Tyler says with a slight smile. “What’s your class after Spanish?”

“I have Study Hall after Spanish,” Karkat says.

“I guess I could write you a pass for an early Study Hall,” Ms. Tyler says.

“That would be great, thanks,” Karkat says.

Armed with the pass, Karkat takes his things to the library, shows the pass to the librarian, and finds a quiet corner to sit. This is harder that it would seem, since there were at least twenty freshmen also having Study Hall. (Study Hall seemed to require a lot of talking and giggling.) Karkat spends a minute wishing he’d brought his iPod and headphones and started working on his homework.

About fifteen minutes into his Algebra homework there’s a whir of wings and the skidding of claws on the table. Karkat startles, and sees that a brown and white pigeon has landed on the table. There’s a little black tube tied to one of its legs. A carrier pigeon? Its beady reddish eyes stare at him with a weirdly expectant expression. “What the hell?” Karkat asks it. The pigeon of course has nothing to say in response to his query, though it does decide to perch on his textbook, and peck at his pencil. “Okay, okay,” he says, and figures out how to get the black tube off of the pigeon. (The pigeon is very patient with his fumbling.)

The note is written in brown marker:

tHANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN, tO SHOW THERE ARE NO HARD FEELINGS MY PESTERCHUM ID IS ADIOSTOREADOR --TN

“Huh,” Karkat says. He starts to scribble a note back, but the pigeon flies off. He has no idea of what he’d say to the kid. (Did Nitram expect him to apologize for thinking he needed to be rescued? Also, carrier pigeons: really?)

The rest of the afternoon is uneventful, except for the appearance of Feferi, who slips into a seat next to him. “Are you feeling betta?” She asks.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Karkat says. “I got kind of woozy in Chemistry.”

“A little bird told me something gave you the screaming meemies,” Feferi says. She’s perched on the edge of her chair with her elbows on the table and her chin cupped in her palms.

“Was it a pigeon?” Karkat asks, and flicks the message tube (sans message) toward her.

“A pigeon? Oh, Tav’s pigeons!” Feferi says. “No it was Angie, she told Aradia, who told me that you were staring off into space and then turned white as a sheet in Chem and almost fainted. Was it a presentiment?”

“No, just Uncanny Valley,” Karkat says.  

“Void, then you traveled, and saw Life,” Feferi says, her eyes shifting as if she’s looking at something.

“Are you looking at my aura or something when you do that?” Karkat asks.

“Kind of,” Feferi says. “Aura is kind of New-Agey, though. I can show you how to look though!”

“Okay. First though, what you do mean when you say ‘traveled’?”  

What Feferi meant was something that was kind of, but not really astral projection. (“We don’t really use the terms occultists or New Age types do, it’s a thing!”) It was traveling into the dimensions where the Gods (and other things) lived. It was apparently possible to do on your own, but the times it had happened, it had been because one of the Gods had taken him. (“So we don’t know yet if you have the ability or not.”)

Feferi tries to show him how to see what she’s seeing. It’s surprisingly easy to catch on. There’s a kind of shadow surrounding Feferi, though he isn’t sure where the light source is coming from or what it is. There are similar shadows surrounding most of the people he looks at, just slightly to the left or right, and lets his eyes unfocus. There is also a kind of glow. (Feferi is fuchsia but also bright blue. He’s a sort of rusty red, with traces of the bright blue that was Life’s color, and a pinkish color that reminds him of Void’s “eyes” when She’d changed their color. There are other colors too, a bright orange, a blue darker than Life’s, a bright red, a darker purple-pink.) She explains what the glows and colors mean, and he ends up taking notes in his History notebook.

“How is finding out whoever set me and Dad up going?” Karkat asks at the end of the lesson.

“We have leads,” Feferi says. “Well, we already had leads, but now we have more. Adept Pyrope will have a report for you and your Dad pretty soon.”

Karkat nods. “Okay.”

Feferi continues the lesson, and talks about people she’s going to introduce him too.

“Why?” Karkat asks.

“Because you need to meet them, and they need to meet you?” Feferi says. “It’s part of…” she makes a hand opening gesture with both hands. “Being part of the community?”

“Being part of the cult,” Karkat says.

“Even if you aren’t part of the cult,” Feferi says. “You don’t have to join. You don’t even have to go to the Temple, but you have a connection, so you shouldn’t be…apart.”

“Si…Mr. Captor said there were things that only Spouses can do,” Karkat says.

Feferi nods. “There are certain rituals that can only be performed by a Spouse. There are certain blessings and mediations.”

“And I don’t need to go to the Temple to do them?”

“Nope! Not if you don’t want to,” Feferi says. “Well, my Great-Gran would have made you, or tried to, but I don’t think you have to. I asked for an indication about it and everything!”

“But I do have to learn these rituals?” Karkat asks.

“It would be really, really helpful if you did,” Feferi says.

Note: Random reference to the poem “Antigonish” by William Hughes Mearnes

Note 2: Karkat should not read Obiwan's UFO-Free Paranormal Page late at night, and specifically not about Evil Kids. 

<==

==>

[jcdamc]

Creating different support systems: healthier spaces and trusting other families (PART 1) EDITED

A couple days ago, my homegirl/ sista in the struggle Candy made me think about something that has troubled me for years, as an adult and as a man of color with a disability that on one hand, has had the support of an overprotective yet loving family; and on the other hand has had years of experience being independent and self- sufficient. Both scenarios have pros and cons, but the truth is they can both burn you out in different ways. As a proud man of color with a physical disability, I have often struggled when it comes to asking for help, especially when I really need it. With immediate family and chosen family or close friends the same issue comes up: Who, how and when do we ask for support if most of us have been socialized to believe that we only have one main support group (which is usually your blood family)?

Here are a few answers I have from experience, people around me and recent questions I`ve been asked....

My immediate family has done the best they can to raise me right, the best way they knew. I`ve let them know that and am eternally grateful, from my parents to my siblings to my cousins. My father always taught me that as I grew older I had to build an extended support network or family, because you never knew what could happen in life, personally or professionally. Throughout my school and even grad school years I had great associates and some good friends, no doubt. I even had a Hip Hop and BBoy crew that made me feel at home in college. We would help each other out, my boys would give me a ride home if it was late (or I had a lil too much fun lol) and my homegirls and their sense of humor would be the ones pushing me to study, focus and stay up to finish homework at the library many times.

In grad school, I had one true mentor that always kept it real with me and was genuinely supportive and made time for me in his busy schedule as a professor. My big brother figure, STOVE. He was the first brotha to show me how to navigate schools, balance life and how to deal with the workplace in the city in a healthier way. Till this day, STOVE still break it down in a way I can understand, where he doesn`t make me feel guilty for my choices and it`s easy for me to digest his advice. He don`t have to get all technical with me, he is clear, passionate and he listen to me whenever I`m going through something. STOVE and my cousins RodStarz- a community activist, organizer and hip hop artist raised on the north side of Chicago- Nano and Julito, were the big brothers I never had. At different points of my life, I could talk about anything and just chill, kick it with my cousins, no judgment. I guess what I`m trying to say is that depending on your circumstances, a support group could be one person or a group of folks closest to you.

My support system has revolved around my parents, women in my family and women close to me, in my social circles. I get along better with women, have way more female friends (which I have discussed before). In part, it`s natural because I was the only boy in my family. And the only one with a disability. On the other hand, aside from my male cousins, STOVE and my mentee Pharaoh, I have trust issues with most men in my generation. Getting along is one thing, but being friends and opening up is a whole notha ball game y`all.  

My folks and siblings moved around a lot before I was born. Once my folks settled in IL, in the Chicago area, I was a year and a half old. My dad wanted me to get consistent professional help since many Chicago hospitals and therapy centers was known to have real good service in the mid 80`s.  My family and friends of the family (aka adoptive/ chosen family) where real supportive, influential and caring as I grew during my childhood and even adulthood. My momma was involved in my school activities, back in the day when they used to cram every student that had a disability (or might have been misdiagnosed or labelled) in one special ed classroom. We had basic accommodations but no real community supports. This just was before the ADA was passed. Many of us adults with disabilities today are a product of that, consciously or unconsciously.

My family did their best like I said. I have a mixed cultural background, born in the Midwest, bilingual with South American and Caribbean roots, a city guy fighting to be proud, to stand out in a good way. I have lived in and learned from a few different places like Santiago, Chile during my teenage years, yet I always managed to come back to Chicago where my heart is.  I am blessed and thankful to be here, despite having racing thoughts sometimes. I`m much older, continue learning and need and want to find my swag again. It`s up to me. My folks can listen and support what I do. My father hugs me more often, he is wise and my momma always been there through thick n thin, mixing her affection and her tough love all together. They have, despite disagreements and misunderstandings. But I am crying out for help on this new journey, because I also feel like I`m on a big ass island by myself, even when it`s a party around me.

Fast forward... It wasn`t until 2011 that my life and thoughts shifted forever. It was hard to forgive and fully support myself on my own. I was more of a loner just going through the city till then. And I wanna thank everybody that was a part of that change in me. It was a REBIRTH that made see and understand Chicago much better. Yall made me a better and much more mature person, yall made me look in the mirror and accept compliments and my body and feel good about it. Too many folks to name, yall will always be with me in my heart. From 2011 till present day, I`ve built alternative support networks, helped facilitate large events, made great friends, organized and mobilized young people that needed and still seek just as much support and compassion as I do. Most importantly, I improved not only my professional skills, but my relationship building skills and had and still have strong friendships and associates within and outside the disability community. Yall were my angels in some way. Although the last few years have been pretty rough on me, I am finding my way. I will be working on a book of poems and lost poems. My poems are the real me, beyond the boxes, where I can be healthy and not be policed by nobody, where God loves disability, where God love people of color and God love who you all love. I am learning to love myself, yes I am. It`s hard as hell.... Without the support of my brothers and sisters and my cousins in and out the Chi, I wouldn`t BE Here, I wouldn`t be the ME I am TODAY. Y`all will forever be my family too.

It`s really important to find and keep your chosen families and support groups close.... remember that. If not, it might cost you later on... How can I heal when other people close to me are burnt out emotionally or financially? Or some don`t know how or when to have healthy conversations about mental illness and disability? Or when tough love or fussing or cussing each other out is all they have known most of their lives? What happens when you yourself have several things to deal with already, and you have to witness drama or arguments every day? What happens when you are an advocate, and you in the middle of all this, living it today? And YOU need HELP beyond this bullshit ass system?

A lotta things ain`t my business today or ever, only my story and my will to support myself and others in the struggle DOES matter. Passing judgment and blame like a hot potato ain`t neva helped nobody, it sure as hell ain`t helped me. Takes time to change that... 

Struggles look different person to person, the issue is when you don`t know somebody, when we don`t TRUST or bond with somebody through their STRUGGLE. Being raised right doesn`t always mean we are all raised the same way. Don`t judge a book by its cover. Read its story. 

Honest to God, we need to have a huge peace circle within AND outside the disability community... because not everybody that has a disability or mental illness has had proper support systems or knows how to deal with their reality in a positive way. I`m seeing that every day, and it`s real awkward and uncomfortable. The (original) support system that I have had is barely staying afloat on its own today regarding their health, in part because some people don`t know what to do to change things and due to a huge generational gap in the way some families of color treat each other when it comes to xyz disability, mental illness or any other health conditions. There is a lack of patience and compassion among the same generation at times. It`s a “culture of blame” because 50 years ago talking about your health and disabilities equaled shame or being “sick” all the time. And to some extent, that culture of blame or silence creates unhealthy relationships and psychological issues from head to toe, and many people are not aware of that. It`s done unconsciously in part because of the effects of ableism. Exposure or lack of exposure changes everything, because that`s the difference between knowing how to help and helping without knowing. Love was caring with a tough shell 50 years ago, especially in some families and cultures of color where holding feelings in was real common.    

I grew up around elders, with one foot in a ableist society and the other foot in the disability community, and I ain`t realize it till my late 20`s.... Gotta keep helping myself heal. One foot told me it`s something wrong with me, the other one taught me I`m beautiful just the way I am. I realize I cannot help everybody, not even my loved ones in general, if I am not supporting or hugging myself first.        

People are people, and nobody, regardless of disability or age or ethnicity, should be feeling like they are a constant burden or isolated, not even myself. As of right now, I can only support and save myself writing every single day, through the power of music and my prayers, for my own sanity. I have enough tryna shut my mind up so I can breathe and listen to God. I refuse to deal with or let other people`s headaches get to me. I am also doing what I can, thankful and humbled. We all need to express support and show up when help is WANTED, not just say it. Takes time.

The problem ain`t people that need help, the issue is people that need healthy supports but don`t WANT THE HELP because they proud, ignorant or just plain scared. It`s hard to ask for help when you might be so used to being the one helping others or the one that is independent to a fault or the giving one...

One of my siblings told me, “You might not have abc right now... but all you got is you. Do you and don`t be worrying about other people” She right. Sometimes, after hearing the same message in different ways and from different people that care, ish finally sink in G.   

My writing and my music are my babies. Lately, writing and my jams are more like a punching bag and I`m Ali. I`ve cussed, talked trash, been disappointed in the system and fussed enough. Yes, I like many more, desperately need to find or strengthen other/ different and kinder support groups within our complicated lives. Support networks where we value ourselves as individuals with disabilities and/or mental illnesses, where we become more patient with ourselves, and more importantly where we find healthier outlets. We might not understand everything, but we damn sure need to listen better and TREAT ourselves with much more love. 

You`d be surprised how many folks in our community need just one person to talk to, because they want attention, because they are severely depressed, have anxiety, are shut down or because they themselves feel like they live on a island too. Kindness and patience starts with ourselves, and it`s these things that an ableist society makes way too hard for people with disabilities and mental illness to see. Fight self- pity and self- hate or lashing out and realize that you do matter. That`s a start to support yourself and your brothers and sisters, and families. Disability pride is a important part of us individually and as a community. Breathe, be kind, be patient and pray. Too many of us have been conditioned by society to worry, to lynch ourselves, instead of having confidence and building on it. We all gotta get that swag back. It might not look pretty at times, but we gotta have faith AGAIN. 

Part 2 of this Support System blog series will introduce the idea of building a non profit organization for and by people with disabilities to maintain more supportive networks, be more self-aware, self- sufficient  and empowering in their lives and communities starting this year. Something along the lines of “Disability Arts and Education Collective” inspired by my peoples a while ago... in the works. I could always use more help, no doubt.

Over the past 2 to 3 weeks, I have been doing my part, tryna find my rhythm and I gotta do my own, eat my leftover food, maybe even breakdance again, and smile one smile at a time, even if it`s only on the outside at the moment. Hopefully more people will join me.     

Peace and Blessings,

JC Da MC.        

[anonymoustalks]

Do you know what happens when a man has nothing left to lose, feels like his country has betrayed him, and has a whole lot of anger

(6-17-20) You both like politics.

You: heyo

Stranger: Hello

You: anything on your mind?

Stranger: Not really

You: anything you're interested in then?

Stranger: Talking about Politics

You: sounds very general

Stranger: Yeah

You: do you have a political leaning?

Stranger: I am a Fascist

You: ahh

You: hmm...

You: I have a feeling you sound familiar

Stranger: Alright

You: hmm... I save my omegle conversations so I hope you don't mind me digging back a bit

You: are you on omegle a lot?

Stranger: I don't keep count

You: 

(6-14-20) You both like politics. You: heya Stranger: Hello You: anything on your mind today? Stranger: No You: fair enough ^^ You: any issues that you care about? Stranger: Not really You: is there a reason why you like this tag then? Stranger: To talk about Politics You: mhm anything particular about it? Stranger: Anything You: mhm do you have a particular political leaning? Stranger: Fascist You: ohh interesting You: why fascism, btw? You: I never really understood it Stranger: Because it aligns with my values You: your values being… strength? authority…? Stranger: Strength, Honor, Spirituality, Race, Masculinity

You: just the beginning

Stranger: Okay

You: sound familiar or nope?

Stranger: I didn't read it

You: oh okay

You: anyhow how was your day?

Stranger: Fine

You: mhm anything you're planning in the upcoming weeks and months?

Stranger: No

You: mhm

You: any goals that you have?

You: or dreams?

Stranger: To follow God

You: right

You: Okay, would you be interested in talking about masculinity?

Stranger: What about it

You: I'm just curious about your views on it

You: like that and fascism and things

Stranger: Masculinity is embracing the biological and spirtual truths of being a man

You: what are the spiritual truths of being a man?

Stranger: Men are meant to be leaders

You: mhm can you give some examples of masculine men and not-masculine men?

Stranger: hold on

Stranger: A Masculine man is a man that lives his life with discipline. He does not indulge in pleasure, and he does not allow his emotions to rule over him. He is a master of his body and of his mind. A masculine man enjoys violence and aggression and knows when and where to use them, he also knows when and where to be gentle. He follows God with all his heart and takes care of his family and people.

You: why is enjoying violence and aggression?

Stranger: A non-masculine male is pacifistic, indulges in pleasure, succumbs to his emotions, does not follow God, does not want a family

You: I guess I'm curious about the violence-pacificism dichotomy

Stranger: Because violence and aggression are a man's first love

Stranger: All men are natural predators

You: I'm not totally sure that I understand ^^

Stranger: Our natural instinct is to compete and fight

You: mhm okay

Stranger: Instead of repressing this instinct like the modern world would have us, instead we should embrace it

You: hmm, what would society look like if it were embraced?

Stranger: Like most of human history until it started becoming more liberal

You: hmm

You: idk I don't really like war

You: although I think I remember you saying you believe war is inevitable

Stranger: War is to man as maternity is to woman

You: Do you think war is good for society?

Stranger: Yes

You: how so?

Stranger: War is spiritual nourishment for men, without it, a large part of what it means to be a man is lost. War is essential to many functions, such as preventing over-population, creating opportunities for heroes to show their quality, as well as the acquisition of resources

You: can I ask you a hypothetical scenario?

Stranger: I suppose

You: so imagine that you are the emperor of a big empire

You: your empire has everything it needs, is wealthy, and lots of things are good

You: but you have smaller countries on your bordder

You: would you invade them just because you can?

Stranger: Yes

Stranger: What is the point of an Empire if not to rule the world?

You: I see, what if they are a different race/ethnicity/culture?

Stranger: They will be enslaved

You: why?

Stranger: Because they are not one of us

You: hmm

You: why is it necessary to rule the world again?

Stranger: Because if you do not rule the world, eventually the world will rule you

You: so what if the scenario was changed, and keeping your empire as is will leave things stable and continue to be a golden ages for many years

You: but trying to invade is risky and a chance of failure

You: would you still try to take the risk?

You: for... idk, glory?

Stranger: A coward spends all his time worrying about failure, because spiritually that is what they have doomed themselves to

Stranger: You cannot have ambition without risk, to be worried about failure in such a context is ridiculous

Stranger: As Tacitus once said

Stranger: "Great Empires are not maintained by timidity"

You: idk I think I'm just imagining some of the board games that I play. There are certain offensive moves that are good, but others when people are too greedy and they overextense

You: *overextend

Stranger: And

You: idk, isn't waging war constantly liable to overextension?

Stranger: You think too much about risks and failures

Stranger: Do you think great men in history would have achieved anything if all they did was sit around contemplating "what if this happens!!!!" "oh no!!! what if that happens!!!!"

You: idk, I think many people had goals

You: and sometimes war was a means to achieving their goals

You: but it gets a bit convoluted if war itself is your goal

Stranger: Nobody is saying war itself is the goal

You: aren't you saying that war is good? And countries should wage war if they have an opportunity for it?

Stranger: How is that remotely near the same thing as saying war itself is the goal

You: Mhm... I just don't see an objective behind war you advocate for, I guess?

Stranger: I already stated them

You: prevent overpopulation, provide a platform for heroes, and acquire resources?

Stranger: Yes

You: mhm......

You: hmm, what if in this hypothetical scenario, your empire isn't overpopulated, and your empire has plenty of resources?

Stranger: There are always rivals with resources. Even if we do not need them now, they do, and we should not tolerate that

You: ^^ I guess I don't know how to respond anymore

Stranger: I am not surprised

You: why is that?

Stranger: Because you are an organism of the modern world

You: mhm, I guess so

You: I think we have several fundamental differences in views that are just hard for me to surmount

Stranger: The modern world has blinded you people so effectively you cannot even recognize when you are being conquered. The Negro revolution is conquering the United States and nobody is noticing

You: sure go on

Stranger: Truly the Anglo-Saxon must be the most pathetic race from Europe

You: out of curiosity what is your heritage?

Stranger: Spanish

You: I see do you distinguish between spanish heritage and idk... french heritage when you imagine your state?

Stranger: Yes why wouldn't I

You: it's confusing because "white" often gets blurred together here

Stranger: There is no white identity in Nazi Racial science

You: are there races that you are more sympathetic to and friendlier to?

Stranger: Mine

You: do you distinguish between spanish-american and spanish?

Stranger: I don't know what you're talking about

You: I guess I'm trying to imagine if you somehow became the leader of the territory of land presently known as the United States

You: what would you do?

You: who would you consider your citizens?

You: that kind of thing

You: and I guess who you would enslave?

Stranger: I would not be a leader of any territory here, I do not care about this place

You: what do you care about?

Stranger: Following God

You: hmm... so you're not interested in fascism in a physical geopolitical sense?

Stranger: Where are you getting that from

You: idk you said you were interested in fascism

Stranger: Interested in Fascism?

Stranger: I am a Fascist

Stranger: What do you mean

You: for most people in the politics tag, usually that means they wish their country were fascist or socialist or whatever

Stranger: I don't really care about what happens to the US

Stranger: I don't have any connection to it

You: is there any country you have a connection to?

Stranger: Spain

You: I see, were you born in spain?

Stranger: No

You: oh have you been there?

Stranger: No

You: hmm...

You: do you speak spanish?

Stranger: Yes

You: oh okay ^^

You: was your mother an immigrant? I don't remember if I asked you before

Stranger: No

You: do you want to move to spain one day?

Stranger: Yes

You: oh okay

You: and become a spanish citizen?

Stranger: Obviously

You: cool, I didn't know that about you

You: I guess I feel like I understand a little bit better, I think

Stranger: You will never truly understand because we do not live in the same world

You: right, I wouldn't really pretend to say that I understand

You: but it's nice to know that you want to go to spain

You: do you have any distant relatives in spain?

Stranger: Yes

You: uncles? cousins?

Stranger: Yes

You: that's nice, are you in touch with them?

Stranger: No

You: oh, are you thinking of reaching out to them?

Stranger: No

You: so you're thinking of going to spain alone?

Stranger: Yes

You: hmm, a sudden question popped up in my head, but I feel like I would know your answer

Stranger: Alright

You: Are you doing okay?

Stranger: Yes

You: idk, sometimes I feel a little bit worried, more so today than last time I guess

Stranger: I do not feel worried

You: yeah, I wouldn't think you would feel worried

You: I really hope things go well for you

Stranger: I do not think you fully understand what that would look like

You: It's okay, don't worry about it ^^

You: even if you find it amusing I guess

Stranger: You will regret hoping things go well for me one day

You: sure ^^

You: did you have any interesting conversations today on omegle?

Stranger: This was the first one

You: ahh okay... I think this was my third or fourth today

You: hmm, I think I am probably a bad person

Stranger: I do not believe in good or bad people, only good or bad decisions

You: weirdly, I think I probably think something kind of similar

Stranger: That isn't what you said

You: I know, it's similar but different

You: like I don't think people are objectively good or bad

You: but I think everyone has their own sense of good and bad

You: and the objective good/bad doesn't exist

Stranger: I believe in an objectively good choice and objectively bad one

You: mhm, but you don't believe in an objectively good person and an objectively bad person

You: have you been religious your entire life?

Stranger: Most of it

You: When did you have the revelation that you were doing X things for the wrong reasons?

Stranger: All the time

Stranger: Improvement never ends, correction never ends

You: but I thought one day you decided to stop going to church. Why didn't you stop earlier?

Stranger: Because I did not get the revelation yet

You: I see...

You: what was the revelation like?

You: when you got it?

Stranger: I don't remember the date

You: so one day you just decided you were going to go to church?

Stranger: Re-read what you wrote

You: weren't sorry

You: typo

Stranger: I just realized I was going for the wrong reasons, that's all there is to it

You: okay

You: does your mom still go?

Stranger: She never went

You: really? that surprises me actually

You: for some reason I had imagined that you came from a religious family

Stranger: I don't

You: mhm how did you learn everything about christ that you did then?

Stranger: Reading the bible, following Him and experiencing the life for myself

You: What was it like when you first started reading the bible?

Stranger: It was a very long time ago

You: mhm

Stranger: I remember being filled with God's love

You: wow

You: I don't think I ever really felt that way

You: I think I mostly just read the children's versions when I was younger

You: I think the first time I tried reading it was a bit hard for me to understand

You: I also remember being scared by some of the stories too

Stranger: I never felt that way

You: mhm I didn't go to Sunday school for very long

Stranger: I never been to anything like that

You: idk, I don't have a lot to say about it

You: Do you write much at all?

Stranger: No

Stranger: Unless you count omegle conversation

You: well, only if you count it I guess

You: I'm just wondering if you formulate all of your thoughts in your head

You: or if you process them some way

You: I remember you saying that you read a lot of books too

Stranger: I don't read a lot of books

You: D: I remembered wrong?!

Stranger: I read the bible and sometimes other things

Stranger: But I've only fully read about 3 books in my entire life, I don't like reading in general

You: Oh...

You: I must have been mistaken then

You: I thought you mostly trained and read during your day?

Stranger: Yes

You: so you mainly read the bible?

Stranger: Yes

You: oh...

You: I thought you read many things

Stranger: The bible and military history / strategy, anthropology, nutrition and exercise, and that's about it

You: Do you read about military history online or something?

You: if not in books?

Stranger: Yes. Online is free

You: ah okay

You: are there websites you like for reading about these things?

Stranger: Wikipedia

You: mhm

You: ohhh

You: I feel like you would be a good person to ask

You: what do you know about the kosovo war?

Stranger: A fair amount

You: what is your opinion about it?

Stranger: I hope Serbia will retake that land and expel the Albanians

You: I met a serbian today on omegle

You: he said the wikipedia article is biased against them

Stranger: I can recognize bias

You: mhm

You: I guess that's a nice coincidence I guess

You: the serbian I met wanted to immigrate to the US and become a navy seal though

You: idk if that made a lot of sense to me though

Stranger: It is best not to dwell on things other way and instead worry about yourself

You: mhm I guess so

You: I just find omegle entertaining possibly?

You: why do you go on omegle?

Stranger: Because I can disconnect and not worry about people knowing how to contact me

You: Ahh what are you trying to disconnect from?

Stranger: The conversations

You: (brb I want to find a blanket)

You: what conversations?

Stranger: ..the conversations on omegle

You: you want to disconnect from the conversations on omegle?

You: I'm not sure if I understand

Stranger: You seem kind of retarded

You: yup you told me that last time lol

Stranger: I am saying I go on omegle because there is no risk of a person wanting to be friends with me, I can just disconnect when I am done

You: ahh okay

You: yeah I can relate to that

Stranger: In real life people will want to be friends

You: I knew someone once who felt that friends are a liability

Stranger: I don't consider them to be a liability, I just don't have any use for friends

You: hmm

Stranger: You are a liberal right

You: lol

Stranger: Yes or no

You: if I was stupidly stubborn and didn't answer, would that annoy you?

Stranger: A conversation requires communication

Stranger: Are you not here for that

You: mhm yeah, but I just find it amusing that similar patterns arise since the last time we talked

Stranger: Why would you purposely withhold political views in a political conversation

You: I'm sort of moderate-left

Stranger: Are you American

You: yup

Stranger: And are you okay with the current witch-hunting against conservatives in this country

You: mhm I don't like witch hunts

Stranger: You realize what they're creating right

Stranger: Anyone that wasn't a radical anti-leftist is sure going to be one tomorrow

You: mhm it is deeply polarizing times ^^

Stranger: They want to take jobs away from people as punishment for not following the current political agenda of neo-liberalism

Stranger: Do you know what happens when a man has nothing left to lose, feels like his country has betrayed him, and has a whole lot of anger

You: violence

Stranger: Not just any everyday bar fight violence

You: do you feel this way too?

Stranger: I probably would have if I never bothered mastering my emotions

You: mhm

Stranger: Random violence never accomplishes anything except cyclical retribution

You: so you want something purposeful?

Stranger: My philosophy is that if you're going to strike at the enemy, strike them in such a way that they will never recover

Stranger: Otherwise what you're doing is just another pathetic form of suicide

Stranger: What would I gain from driving into a group of protestors

Stranger: What would I gain from shooting up a mall

Stranger: Nothing, and it would tear my soul apart to have destroyed innocent people in such a manner

Stranger: But I am used to having nothing left to lose, and this situation is not new to me, I can adapt

Stranger: Others wont, others cant

You: right

Stranger: And they will be driving cars into groups of protestors

Stranger: And they will be shooting groups of people

Stranger: People who otherwise would be mumbling to themselves about gay marriage and niggers and go to work the next day and leave everyone alone

Stranger: Has had everything taken away from them and are now a weapon

You: how would you fix things?

Stranger: "fix things"

You: if trump suddenly called you up and asked for your advice

Stranger: I would tell him there is no going back

You: when was the turning point?

You: or the critical mistake?

Stranger: The turning point was social media

You: so go back to idk 2000 something and ban social media?

Stranger: That is obviously not possible, hence no going back

Stranger: Social media has destroyed the art of language and communication

Stranger: Political arguments and disicussions are no longer about understanding one another

Stranger: They're about who can have the most witty comeback

You: mhm

Stranger: All that is left is violence

You: can you explain the link between social media and jobs?

Stranger: People are getting fired from their jobs for publicly expressing they don't care about black lives matter

Stranger: And the narrative around it, is "silence is complicity"

Stranger: "White" people in this country are being conquered by the Negro

Stranger: And they are fine with it

You: do you live in a liberal state?

Stranger: No

Stranger: I used to

You: oh

You: I feel like I haven't heard too many people getting fired from their jobs for not saying anything about blm

Stranger: I said for expressing they don't care about it

You: ahhh okay

Stranger: For not actively supporting it

You: mhm... it's a scary cycle, I think

You: managers/owners feel like they are responding to public image

You: and workers take the brunt of it

You: I guess it is the same with police officers too

Stranger: Your people aren't leaving room for anything other than violence, because it is what they want

Stranger: They think they are on a crusade

Stranger: They think they are righteous heroes

Stranger: Fighting against the evil white racist system

You: mhm

You: yeah I think it's sad

Stranger: When a person convinces themselves that they are oppressed without any real evidence, they cannot be convinced they are not oppressed with evidence

Stranger: They do not want to communicate

Stranger: They do not want to understand the other side

Stranger: They are nihilists that hate themselves and hate the world

Stranger: And they want to see others suffer like them

You: mhm... I think people are most attuned to their own suffering

Stranger: Not unlike the 'incel' mindset

You: and do not see the suffering of others

Stranger: They have turned suffering into an olympic competition

You: mhm I don't agree with that

You: but yeah I think there may be an extent of wealthy liberals empathizing with their friends and making it an issue

You: but it diminishes the experiences and suffering of other people

You: but wealthy liberals and powerful in american cities

Stranger: Suffering itself isn't a big deal

Stranger: These people have convinced themselves that any amount of suffering is the result of an oppressive system

Stranger: There is no accountability

You: in my mind I think there's some difference between "equality" views and "equity" views

You: I think many liberals prescribe to equity views, meaning that since idk there are not enough black americans attending college, therefore affirmative action should happen to help make the numbers more equal

Stranger: It doesn't make any sense to me

You: mhm... yeah, it is pretty different from you worldview, I can see that

You: I think it's similar in spirit to views like "nobody should starve" or "everyone should get healthcare"

Stranger: I don't see how it is similar

You: like one way is to think about redistribution of tax money

You: an equal distribution of tax money is like everyone getting $10 of value

You: but under progressive systems, poor people get more

You: because the idea is that all human beings should have a favorable experience in life I guess

Stranger: I cant relate

You: yup

You: there was an opinion article I read today

You: about a mother asking her sons

You: "In life you can choose between loving only your family/close ones, or loving as many people as you can. Which do you choose?"

Stranger: Yeah why would anyone choose anything other than family or close ones

You: XD for me I think I am closer to the latter haha, which is why you scoff when I wish for your best lol

You: but I think I find personal fulfillment out of that

You: at least, that is the way for me personally

Stranger: How bizarre

You: I told you before that I didn't really value myself that much

You: I think I get a lot of my meaning in life from how much I am able to bring value to other people / the world

You: in either case, that's not really important

You: but I can understand holding your family and close ones precious, even at the expense of making others your enemy, I guess

Stranger: Who said making them the enemy

You: I think you saying "war is inevitable" kind of stuck in my mind lol

Stranger: Are you suggesting you love your family and go to war with everyone else? That doesn't make any sense to me

You: huh? no?

Stranger: That's what it seems like to me

You: I am saying I understand the impulse of prioritizing your family at the expense of everyone else -- although that's not really my own view

Stranger: But it isn't at the expense of everyone else. I don't have the power to affect others

You: hmm, but if you did though?

You: Like if you somehow became a billionaire due to fate?

You: or if a ton of power landed in your lap?

Stranger: A billionaire?

You: idk I was saying random examples

Stranger: But that is the point

Stranger: I am not either of those things

Stranger: So others are beyond my purview

You: yes but your are ambitious and destined for great things?

You: *you are

Stranger: You're not understanding me

You: ordinarily I would presume that you seek power

Stranger: I am not

Stranger: in that

Stranger: posititon

Stranger: RIGHT NOW

You: right

Stranger: Explaining myself gets me so violent

You: sorry

Stranger: Many things get me violent, I am just a violent person

You: is that bad?

Stranger: Not for me

You: I am trying to comprehend if you are trying to hold back on your violence or not

Stranger: Of course. I am always holding back violence, anger, sadness, happiness, indulgence of all manner

You: I think I am a little confused again

Stranger: You are retarded, most things in the world are bound to confuse you

You: well I remember you saying that fascism is about masculinity, and masculinity is defined by violence

You: yet also you are holding back from it

Stranger: And I also said knowing when and where to use it

You: ah okay

You: is there a reason why emotions must be held back?

Stranger: Because they might take over

You: mhm okay

You: are there any emotions that you resent?

Stranger: I do not resent any emotion

You: I know you did not ask for this, but I wish your life could be filled with happiness

Stranger: I just don't have a desire or need for happiness

You: yes, you said that last time

You: you said some things I really appreciated today

Stranger: Lol

You: I mean seriously

You: the part about people driving into protesters

You: I thought it was powerfully said

Stranger: Well it is the inevitable conclusion of a population with nothing left to lose

You: mhm, but I'm just thinking about when they lost so much

You: I mean, it was before blm too

You: it's been happening for decades

You: it's been a slow and gradual thing I think

Stranger: When they freed the slaves without any kind of plan on what to do with them, they essentially dammed the country

You: I'm just thinking I guess

Stranger: This kind of behavior is endemic to American culture

You: usually the way I think about racism is that I think of it as scapegoating. But what do you mean?

Stranger: The "not my problem" and just handing things over to someone else

Stranger: They had no plan in place on what to do with slaves once they were free

You: I don't think the winner of a war is obligated to have a plan, are they?

Stranger: General Lee was right when he said Negros could not be freed yet

You: if the north won against the south, can't the north just say "fuck you"

You: ?

Stranger: To black people?

You: no to the south

Stranger: Because that's what happene

You: the civil war was to some extent an ideological war

You: the north won and enforced its ideology and left the south to pick up the pieces?

Stranger: Yet again you don't seem to follow

Stranger: And I'm running out of patience

Stranger: Let me put this in simple terms

Stranger: They opened the cages and told the nigs "Go do shit, we don't care" and now they're all living in fucked up conditions

You: mhm, I don't think people honestly cared that much

You: I have a cynical enough view that I think people do the minimum necessary for them

You: whether it is for publicity or something else

Stranger: They should have all been shipped off back to Africa

Stranger: It is the same mistake Europeans make with immigrants from the middle east

Stranger: "Just drop them in and they will integrate"

You: there was that view historically but I don't think it was mainstream enough

Stranger: Doesn't work out that way

You: liberia happened

You: in either case, I think leaders just try to appease the masses

Stranger: That's what happens in a democratic environment

Stranger: Public image is more important than competence or principles

You: I think of the salem witch trials. Doesn't matter if a person is a witch (or if witchcraft is real). Lynch someone and if it makes people happy and then they will do it

You: I mean this is what I mean by scapegoating too though

Stranger: They should all have been sent to Africa

You: Idk they were given a choice

You: some went to liberia and others didn't

Stranger: It shouldn't have been a choice

You: I think the plantations would have been devastated economically

You: soon after the civil war, many former slaves stayed employed by their former masters

You: just under a different name

You: there wouldn't have been the manpower to run the plantations otherwise

Stranger: Yeah I think it's worth it to not have today's problems

You: ^^

You: I dunno, I think there are many problems

You: automation hurt a lot of manufacturing america

You: as did the shift away from coal

Stranger: Alright listen

Stranger: I don't care about that

Stranger: Because none of that contributed to this BLM nonsense happening today and white people bowing down to them

You: um, but jobs and employment?

Stranger: Nevermind

Stranger: Those things would not exist if there were no black people here

Stranger: Do you not get that

Stranger: There would be no BLM

Stranger: There would be no culture of compromise

Stranger: or white guilt

You: but there would still be automation and china and environmentalist hippies?

You: kentucky miners still no job?

Stranger: What does that have to do with BLM

You: it doesn't, I just think that the anger would be focused onto something else

Stranger: And?

Stranger: I'm talking about BLM

Stranger: I am talking

Stranger: about

Stranger: BLM

Stranger: I am only

Stranger: talking

Stranger: about

Stranger: BLM

You: I don't know if I'm wrong

You: but I see a lot of anger

You: what are people angry about?

You: are they mainly angry about blm?

Stranger: Man

You: are they mainly angry about liberals?

Stranger: I don't care what people are angry about

Stranger: I am telling you I hate BLM

You: Okay

You: sorry

Stranger: When people say sorry it makes me think less of them

You: I don't really mind if you think less of me

You: in a way I say it for myself, so you can think of it as me being selfish if you want

You: I think I don't fully understand where all of your anger and hatred comes from

Stranger: It comes from me living in a situation I never created but have to be part of

You: isn't that all of us in a way?

Stranger: I don't care, I am answering the question

You: oh okay

You: would you be bothered if I changed the subject? ^^

You: is there anything that you like?

You: or love?

Stranger: Everything I mentioned that I read about

Stranger: And women

You: you mentioned you are not masculine unless you want a family

You: why do you like the idea of a family?

Stranger: Because that is how you grow your race, and continue your lineage

You: so it's a kind of honor/pride thing?

Stranger: It's a natural part of existence

You: hmm... and what do you love about women?

Stranger: Their physical beauty, and their nurturing nature

You: why do you like their nurturing nature?

Stranger: It is attractive, it is also a signal they would be a good mother

You: the girls whom you were attracted to in the past; were you mainly attracted to their appearance or their personality?

Stranger: Well it starts with appearance and continues with personality

You: what parts of personality?

Stranger: Their confidence, sense of humor, independence, and self-awareness

You: oh... that surprised me in a sense

You: I guess it seems different from the nurturing nature kind of thing that I imagined?

Stranger: Well I can detect a nurturing side to a woman without finding it personally attractive, since I am not a needy person

You: okay, so you're interested in the nurturing quality, but you don't personally like it?

Stranger: I personally have no use for it

You: why do you like confident/humorous/independent/self-aware women?

Stranger: Because that is a person I can spend time with and get along with, and makes them a reliable wife

You: (also is it late for you?)

Stranger: It is only 11pm

You: oh okay

You: I feel like it's been hard for me to get a sense of the things that you like, outside of your faith and beliefs

Stranger: You could just ask

You: can I ask then? ^^

You: (I am shameless lol)

Stranger: I have nothing to hide

You: so what do you like outside of your faith and beliefs?

Stranger: That is too broad and vague

You: and working out and military-things

You: mhm I guess it's just hard to imagine not having anything that you look forward to, etc, etc.

Stranger: I look forward to a lot of things

You: such as?

Stranger: Getting stronger

Stranger: Fighting

Stranger: Marrying a beautiful woman

Stranger: Building a strong family

You: These seem like very cerebral goals

You: btw how will you know when you meet someone that they are the right one?

Stranger: You spend time with them

You: and...

Stranger: What do you mean and

Stranger: Do you not know how relationships work

You: like you just magically know?

You: of course I do

You: but I mean, there's just passion and then something deeper too

Stranger: So why are you asking

Stranger: You meet someone, you spend time together, and grow together

Stranger: It's simple

You: okay

You: hmm

You: ^^ you are difficult haha

Stranger: How

You: idk, for me to connect to, I guess

You: sometimes I wonder if I have a kid and if they are like you, how I would connect to them

Stranger: You don't need to connect to your children

Stranger: Just need to prepare them for life

You: funny because someone else I spoke to said the most important thing was to give them love and support lol

You: not that I take either really particularly seriously I guess

Stranger: Love and support wont teach a person how to survive

You: mhm... do you believe in mental health issues?

Stranger: Everyone has a "mental health" issue. This is why you master your emotions and discipline yourself, so that even if the issue is there, it wont have any affect

You: mhm

You: I've just seen a lot of people collapse and break apart after leaving home

Stranger: Because they are weak

You: maybe

You: but what if they are your child?

You: leave them behind if they are weak?

Stranger: If they are an adult, yes

You: what if they are technically an adult, but in your eyes they are still a child?

Stranger: That doesn't make any sense

You: it means that someone is like idk 18 years old, but you still think they're immature

You: unrealistic

Stranger: There are plenty of people in their 40s I consider immature, it doesn't make me view them as a child

You: fair enough

You: a person I was talking to today too said something similar too

You: holding your children's "freedom" paramount

Stranger: Freedom?

Stranger: Once they're an adult their life is their own business

Stranger: It's not about a respect for freedom

Stranger: They're just no longer my responsibility

You: I guess

You: If it were me, I wouldn't stop worrying about them though

You: I think I have a little bit of a micro-managing habit

You: or tendency perhaps

You: but it may be part of the way I grew up

Stranger: Yes

You: I feel like it will be hard for me to let go

Stranger: Yet again more proof that mastering one's emotions is imperative

Stranger: Now you are controlled by your habits

You: why is it bad to want the best for your children?

You: even if they are an adult?

Stranger: When did I ever say it was bad to want the best for them

You: you said you would leave behind your child if they are weak if they are an adult?

Stranger: Yeah, weakness is a choice

You: oh...

Stranger: Their life is their responsibility at that point

You: yes it is, but I feel like I would want to do everything I can to continue doing something

Stranger: Why

You: because they are important to me?

You: as a parent, you won't be around forever, and you want them to live a fulfilling life?

Stranger: That is their responsibility

You: sure, but I don't care

You: even if I have to cheat I would want to give them what they need for a fulfilling life

Stranger: Cant relate

You: yeah sorry

You: I think we are just extremely different

Stranger: Yes we are

You: do you ever find anyone similar to you?

Stranger: I did once

You: and?

Stranger: It didn't work out

You: huh? you mean romantically?

Stranger: Yes

You: oh...

You: Do you mind if I ask what state you're from?

Stranger: Florida

You: Hmm... I feel like I have weird deja-vu that I asked this before

You: wait how is it only 11 pm in florida?

Stranger: I do not live in Florida

You: oh

You: I think I feel weird and baffled I guess

Stranger: Most people that preach diversity often do not know what to do when confronted with actual different people

You: Hm? What are you saying that I should do?

Stranger: Do whatever you feel is best

You: Hm, I think I am just doing whatever I want though?

Stranger: Doesn't matter to me

You: I think I ran out of words though

You: I guess I am just trying to figure out how to process this

You: what I should take away

Stranger: Process this?

You: yup

Stranger: It is just a conversation

You: mhm, and I think about the conversations I have and digest them?

You: that would be processing?

Stranger: I suppose I am quicker

You: sure

You: btw why do you bother talking to me?

You: I feel like I annoyed you a few times

Stranger: Because I am taking a break from other things

You: it's a pretty long break

Stranger: Yes

You: you don't think this is a waste of your time?

Stranger: I have already done whatever I needed to for the day

You: hmm, I feel like normal people have better things to do than spend an hour or more on omegle

Stranger: What am I supposed to say

Stranger: I have finished everything I needed to for the day

You: idk you could something... more enjoyable, I guess?

You: did you play games growing up?

Stranger: Yes

You: you don't now?

Stranger: I do

You: what games?

Stranger: Military strategy games

You: eu4?

You: is that what it's called?

Stranger: No

You: hmm... total war?

Stranger: I have played total war games before

You: i don't know any others lol

Stranger: Alright

You: I've never heard you talk about your father I think

Stranger: You do not hear me talk about anything unless asked

You: mhm true enough

You: is there a reason why you're open to me asking so much?

Stranger: I am open in general, I have nothing to hide

You: do you have a good relationship with your father?

Stranger: I have not heard from him since I was 8 years old

You: did he leave?

Stranger: My parents were divorced

You: ah... do you know much about it?

Stranger: My father was lazy and not very helpful around the house, and had mental disorders he gave into from the Vietnam war

You: ptsd?

Stranger: He just had anti-social tendencies like me but was too weak to master them

You: oh...

You: antisocial as in the psychology definition or the mainstream one?

Stranger: The actual definition

You: oh I didn't know

Stranger: How could you, I never told you

You: mhm

You: were you diagnosed with it?

Stranger: No, I do not claim to have any disorder either, I said tendencies

You: mhm okay

You: did you worry about it a lot in the past?

Stranger: No

You: do you know if your father is doing okay right now?

Stranger: I have had no information about him since I was 8

You: mhm... and it sounds like you don't have a very close connection with him either

Stranger: How could I have a close connection to him

You: I don't know, I guess before you were 8

You: but common sense would dictate that you didn't have a favorable relationship

Stranger: I did not really care about the situation much at the time, I still do not

You: right

You: how was your mom... during the years thereafter?

Stranger: Fine

You: do you know much about gangs?

Stranger: I know that they tried to recruit me a few times, so I told them to suck my dick

You: ah okay

You: I was just thinking about it because I read a news article

You: of a freshman at the university I attended

You: was stabbed by three teen gang members

You: was just reflecting on it today

Stranger: Gangs are scum, and if it was up to me the members would be rounded up and boiled alive

Stranger: But of course that is not saying much considering that is my solution to many things

You: the kids were like 13-14 years old

You: tried to mug the girl

Stranger: I am not interested in hearing more

You: sorry

Stranger: Boil them alive, that is all I have to say

You: do you believe a lot in revenge?

Stranger: No

You: hmm... so justice then?

Stranger: Yes

You: What if your sense of justice differs from the letter of the law?

Stranger: It already does, and is one of the reasons I stay away from many situations

You: ah okay

You: but you are interested in politics?

You: or is that just an omegle thing

Stranger: I am thinking this is the last time I talk about politics to anyone online, and will only do it in person

You: okay, sorry

Stranger: Sorry for what

You: idk I feel responsible for giving a bad experience or something

Stranger: It has nothing to do with you

You: oh okay

You: I think uncomfortable things are probably good for me

Stranger: Lol

You: for some reason I find it funny when you "lol"

You: you do it very sparingly

You: I think you remind me of darker things

Stranger: What are you talking about

You: nothing that matters to you, I think

You: I am probably rambling I guess

You: I guess I am thinking about self-esteem

You: yours seems to be quite strong

Stranger: Yes it is

You: mine is not lol

Stranger: I am not surprised

You: I am not surprised that you're not surprised lol

You: I think what is nearly impossible for me to comprehend is how you're so confident that you are destined for greatness, etc

You: or well, relate to

Stranger: That is because you view it as something to aspire to rather than something that is inherent to one's station in life

You: mhm... do you believe that you are born with self-worth?

Stranger: I do not consider myself destined for greatness because I am great, that is simply what God has mandated for me

Stranger: I do not know what you mean by born with self-worth

You: mhm... this is a cynical thing to say, but basically like born "worth" something

Stranger: Worth what to whom

You: essentially born "great"

Stranger: I do not see it that way

Stranger: God saw what my life was going to be like and the kind of man I would be, so He decided to confer upon me a great responsibility

You: hmm

Stranger: I separate greatness from the person

You: but you use language like "I am great"?

Stranger: I do not claim to be great

You: um, I'm confused

Stranger: It is not me that is great, it is the responsibility that God has given me that is great

You: I feel like that kind of thinking hasn't been always very effective for me

You: i.e. "I have great responsibility" therefore "I have self-esteem"

You: for some reason I end up drifting back to thinking about some kind of abstract intrinsic sense of self-worth

Stranger: I do not have self-esteem because of great responsibility, I have self-esteem because I have been very independent most of my life and am confident in my abilities

You: hmm, I lack self-esteem because I don't like myself a lot, but in terms of objective performance and abilities I think I am doing okay but somehow not appreciating.

Stranger: If you do not like yourself then simply become better and worth liking

You: I need to try harder

Stranger: Then do so

You: Do you spend a lot of time reflecting about yourself?

Stranger: Introspection has always been a pastime of mine

You: Hm... I don't do it enough

You: it's much easier to think about other people and other things

You: to the extent of avoiding thinking about myself I guess

Stranger: That is strange to me

You: I have a younger brother

You: it is easier to give him advice than to think extensively about my own faults

Stranger: If that is the case nobody will take your advice seriously

You: mhm there's different kinds of advice I guess

You: emotional advice is probably not my forte

You: okay, I think I will probably go to bed and think about this

You: thanks for giving me things to think about

Stranger: Alright go do that

You: goodnight, best wishes with everything!

You have disconnected.

[republicstandard]

Populism is the Future for the Alt-Right

The infamous Charlottesville ‘Unite the Right’ rally, which took place last August, was intended to help unify the various political factions of the dissident right. But as we all know things did not go to plan. The authorities not only revoked the permit for the rally at the last minute, but they also funnelled attendees into the path of Antifa and other violent left wing protesters which caused conflict on the streets which was shown on news bulletins all around the world.

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Various members of the pro-white community suffered numerous problems both on the day and in the weeks and months afterwards. Some had their homes broken into; others were de-platformed on social media, whilst others are still currently battling in the courts. And in a historic first several websites had their domains seized and were forced into the dark web for months. To put it simply, the Charlottesville rally was an unmitigated disaster for the pro-white movement; but I also think it was the reckoning that the movement badly needed.

The following months after the rally were a mixture of infighting, self-reflection and change. It was clear that the momentum that had built up during 2015, 2016, and the first 8 months of 2017, was gone. Looking back it is clear that prominent members of the pro-white movement should have been more active in reorganizing and leading during this crucial period. However at the same time I recognise the very difficult situation many of these people were in and how little spare time they had.

More controversy later followed. Pro-white political candidates like Paul Nehlen and Patrick Little descending into meltdowns the likes of which have not been seen this side of Britney Spears shaving her head and beating a car with an umbrella. There are so many twists and turns in their stories that it would require an entire article just to write about them; and who has time for that?

Britain is in the process of leaving the EU, Trump has become the President of the United States of America, and anti-immigration Governments have been elected in Italy, Austria, Hungary, Poland and Czechia.

My conclusion from everything mentioned above is that the pro-white movement has energy, online presence and some potential, yet it is floundering due to its own faults and is simply not going to change anything anytime soon.

My sympathies with the populist movement grow by the day, not just because of their ability to get elected into power, but also because they have a large number of coherent and well thought-out policies that can actually be implemented in the near future. Not to mention the fact that they actually have political parties and a long list of financial backers with deep pockets.

It is easy to forget but in the last two years the populist wave has achieved many things. Britain is in the process of leaving the EU, Trump has become the President of the United States of America, and anti-immigration Governments have been elected in Italy, Austria, Hungary, Poland and Czechia.

I think that a pro-white movement of some kind is always necessary; simply because all other races have their advocacy groups and so logically whites will need their own as a counter and to represent their interests. It is the tragedy of identity politics that this is so, as we move from high-trust societies to ones which are weighted towards groups who can leverage moral authority through state infrastructure, such as diversity quotas and the risible affirmative action program. I also think that such a community is necessary because it helps shift the Overton Window to the right. Whether you agree with the Alt-Right or not, nobody can deny the influence it has had in moving certain topics into the public sphere over the past two years.

My main issue is that I still have no idea why people in the Alt-Right and other pro-white groups have not done more to support the populist movements. I read a lot of white nationalists on social media continuously claim that: ‘Elections don’t matter, if you vote your just feeding the system. We need to let everything collapse and rebuild from scratch.’ This way of thinking is patently absurd for a number of reasons; I think it stems from a mindset of wanting to be as edgy as possible and maintaining a ‘distance’ from the so called ‘normies’.

Obviously these same people would rather see Matteo Salvini, the new interior minister of Italy, continue to turn back migrant boats then allow them to dock at Italian ports. Yet at the same time they claim voting doesn’t change anything, even though Salvini’s policies are reversing Italy’s pro-immigration agenda. This mentality of rejecting the democratic process and working only in overtly pro-white activism needs to end. Even if you don’t agree with democracy, this is the system you have to work in and you must act accordingly. Rejecting the process and simply not voting will only bring victory to your enemies, because I can guarantee that the left will turn out in droves, and they certainly don’t play fair either.

Throughout the 2015-2016 election campaign of Donald Trump identitarians and civic nationalists worked together online to help him get elected. There is no reason why this should not continue, and it was silly from a tactical perspective when these two groups diverged so much after November 2016. In Poland, Hungary and now Italy, what could be described as ‘pro-white’ factions work in harmony with civic nationalist entities on a daily basis – and this partnership achieves results.

No matter how much propaganda you spread or how many immigrants arrive, the likelihood of a pro-white candidate let alone a party being elected in our lifetimes is very slim. Even in South Africa, where whites face rape, torture and murder on their own farms, the majority of whites still vote for mainstream parties. Indeed many liberal whites in Cape Town still deny that the farm murders phenomenon even exists.

The majority of white people by their very nature seem to be instinctively repulsed by ethnic nationalism to some degree, and in any given white country only a small minority of people seem aligned with pro-white causes. This is why I think populism is the way forward, because it provides a form of nationalism which not only solves most of the West’s problems, but is also amenable to the mentality of the average person in the street.

Brexit and Trump’s election were implicitly white events; framed as such more by the actions of the nay-sayers than the advocates. Despite all the media programming, these countries are the product of European peoples, and they still are the majority populations in thes lands, for now. Yet, not one of the major figures in either of these causes made it an explicitly white event- a very wise tactical choice. Populism allows you to save the white man and his family without actually saying that you are saving the white man and his family. Yes; sometimes the populists cuck and you identitarians may cringe with resentment, but if that cuck lowers immigration by 50% then there is no reason not to get behind him.

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In the modern world, where an Englishman can be locked up for saying something controversial or a parent can have their child taken by social services simply because they have a bruise on their arm, a certain flexibility is needed. You need to achieve your goals without ever stating what your true goals are. The left have always done this; their centre-left candidates are quite often secretly communist, yet they will never admit that. You need to enter movements and help push through legislation that is similar to your beliefs or which will help lead to the implementation of your goals. Populism is the ‘big tent’ that allows you to do this.

Purity spiralling will get you nowhere, and cutting yourself off from the political process or people who even slightly disagree with you is stupid.

In other words, it is time for the Alt-Right to be pragmatic, as well as idealistic.

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[dorothydelgadillo]

The F Word: Nevertheless, She Parented

Welcome to The F Word, where we, Skillcrush staffers Lauren Lang and special guest Maren Vernon, discuss issues that impact all of us—both in and out of the workplace. We know that, for us, coming to understand the f-word (in this case, feminism), and how important it is in the scope of our lives, didn’t happen overnight. We hope you’ll join us once a month as we meet to discuss power, identity, and the changes we want to see in the world.

Lauren: Maren, welcome to the F-Word! It’s so great to be with you today chatting about the joys of feminist parenting—and specifically, motherhood.

Maren: Thanks, Lauren! I have my cup of coffee in hand. I’ve taken a deep breath. And I’m ready to jump in.

Lauren: With three kids (all girls) between us, you and I have some insight into what being a mom is really like. And man, it’s tough. I’m constantly running interference against mean kids at school, media messaging that disrespects women in any number of ways, and the little microaggressions that fly under the radar and become tiny, but growing, insecurities in my daughter’s spirit.

On the heels of Oprah’s AMAZING Golden Globes speech where she envisions a “new day on the horizon” where “nobody ever has to say ‘me too’ again,” this is the future parents also aspire to. But it can seem like an insurmountable task to shield our kids from the reality of the world in 2018. Where do we start?

Maren: I’m starting to think I should have brought wine to calm my nerves when I think of everything they are facing… But Oprah’s speech!

My gals are still young and just starting in school but my kids are not only girls but girls of color, and finding the line between preparing them and not scaring them is something my husband and I talk about a lot. I can tell you that an early way I’m trying to raise them to feel they can do anything and ignore the haters is through stories and good role modeling.

I used to work in publishing, so books will always be important in my house. I like to look for picture books—since that is the stage we are in—with strong, and ideally diverse, female characters using their smarts and creativity to problem solve, lead, or demonstrate kindness. I could name books all day but Pocket Full of Colors (about Mary Blair), Drum Dream Girl;I Am Truly; She Persisted; Ada Twist, Scientist; and Rosie Revere, Engineer spring to mind as particularly great examples.

Of course my struggle is that I want them to feel independent and in control of the course their life takes, buuuuuut I also need them to listen when I say, “Come on, dude, that is not a great idea.” So we find ways to negotiate and I let them take the lead when appropriate. Just yesterday my oldest snuck business cards out of my office to give to friends so they could get their moms to schedule playdates with me. I caught her with the cards as she headed into school, but I appreciated her pluck and determination and I let her move forward with her plan. How have you started introducing The F Word in your household?

Lauren: Okay, business cards? Genius.

I wholeheartedly agree with you about choosing media with strong depictions of women. My daughter loves the Rebel Girls book series, which features small vignettes and beautiful illustrations of notable women and girls throughout history who have exhibited strength and determination (including the women featured in Hidden Figures, which she loved). We talk openly about these women’s struggles and the discrimination they’ve worked to overcome—based on gender, yes, but also race or ethnicity or religion or age or ability or sexual orientation. These books have been a great resource both for empowering my daughter and also spurring deep discussions about her own privilege.

So media is important… BUT I agree that the best opportunity to introduce feminism—both to girls and to boys—is to teach the concept by example and model what feminism looks like. It looks like empowering and respecting our children, expecting them to respect others, and empowering them to speak up when they feel unsafe. It looks like mothers who have agency and confidence and it looks like fathers who understand consent and who listen. It looks like the world that Her Majesty Queen Oprah says that we want for our children.

And it benefits us as mothers to find what that looks like too, because SOCIETY HAS NOT GOTTEN THE MEMO. There is so much pressure on mothers to do everything right and to have perfectly behaved and brilliant children at all times, and to never, ever lose our patience. And so, feminist motherhood is just as much about how we as women consciously choose to construct ourselves as parents, by bucking those impossible standards and finding what works for us. Maren, there are so, so many ways to “fail” as a mother, to the extent that—SPOILER ALERT!—there is literally no way to “succeed.” So let’s get specific: What criticism do you face about your role as a parent?

Maren: I find external criticism most often comes in comments along the lines of, “Working and mothering and side hustles… You should give yourself a break. You are trying to do too much.” The implication is: You should focus more on being a mother.

Usually the things I love to do—that make me feel fulfilled outside of being a parent—are the first things I’m expected to cut out. Then that just leaves me grumpy and resentful. Does that make me a better parent? No.

I need the side hustle or the part-time job that keeps me intellectually curious. I have fun doing art projects with my kids or exploring the science museum, but I also need challenges and positive stress and to learn new things. (Let me take a moment to acknowledge my privilege that I even have some choices to make, and also to say that just like I don’t want to be judged for my choice, I’m not going to judge another’s path. I’m just acknowledging that wouldn’t be living as my authentic self.)

I started learning to code (with Skillcrush!) when my first was about a year old. I’d suffered from some postpartum depression and was generally feeling down about my abilities and intellect because parenting was a lot harder than I expected, and despite all the reading and prep, I didn’t feel like some things came as easy to me (and social media was NOT helping). I’m not lying when I say that learning to code gave me my confidence back. Maybe my kid didn’t sleep through the night last night and refused to eat the ten different foods I prepared but, hey! I got that image to float beside some text! I am good at something! It was the outlet and challenge I needed to get my mojo back. And you know what? When I felt better about myself, I know I became a mom who was more fun to be around. Losing your identity is no joke.

What criticisms have you faced as a parent, Lauren, and how have you dealt with it?

Lauren: There is SO much here that resonates with my experience, particularly in the idea that I have a right to make a choice to be a multidimensional human being whose existence is not fulfilled entirely by my child—and the notion that this choice is actually a positive thing for her to witness. THE HORROR: a mother who is also a person with interests and talents and—gasp—ambitions!

If I reveal myself to be stressed or anxious about ANYTHING in my life, you’re right—I receive unsolicited advice that the first thing to go should be what makes me happy. The message is clear: My career is a luxury, and any mission I value outside of motherhood is somehow deeply unfair to my daughter—even when, ironically, that mission is to create a world in which she is empowered and free.

So how have I dealt with it? I keep doing what brings me deep satisfaction. I try to tune out the noise and follow my true north. And in doing so, I show my child the best possible person I can be. I try my best, and sometimes I’m a shitty mom. (And sometimes I’m a shitty employee and sometimes I’m a shitty spouse and sometimes I’m shitty at keeping my shit together.) But I think I’m okay with that. Perfection is for Beyonce, and she has help. And speaking of support, what roles do you think male partners have in all this? Heterosexual coupling puts vastly differently expectations for how mothers and fathers interact with their children: a mom who takes her kid to the park is like the default while the dad who does the same is OMG THE BEST DAD EVER. Or a dad who slightly raises his voice to his kids is giving some “tough love” while a mom who does the same is a horrible person who should have her kids taken away. What do we take from this double standard?

Maren: I’m incredibly lucky to have a husband doesn’t expect me to fall in lockstep with gender roles, but at the moment he is the primary breadwinner and I am the lead parent. So by default I am expected to know what is going on with their schools and their friends and to volunteer for all the things and get the laundry done and have food in the house. And those efforts feel rarely acknowledged.

But just because I am the lead parent doesn’t change the fact that sometimes I want to spend an hour coding, rather than at the park with my children. And the fact that, when I think about doing something for me or for my career, I almost immediately consider it to be selfish—is problematic. I’m criticizing myself before anyone else has the chance to.

Lauren: YES. I think a lot of it comes down to the concept of “emotional labor,” right? This idea that women have to shoulder so much of the unseen knowledge and work to keep everything running smoothly—and a lot of that is learned behavior.

One way I’ve experimented with lessening the burden of all there is to do is just by…dropping some of it. (#badmomconfessions)

I’ve stopped monitoring whether there’s milk in the fridge or whether library books are in the backpack on library day at school. Practicing personal responsibility should come at an early age…and picking up a young able-bodied person’s dishes and transporting them to the dishwasher for her? Or picking out the perfect birthday gift for my husband’s mother, when he’s known her 20 years longer than I have? Nope! Ain’t nobody got time for that.

And it’s not that I would never do any of these things—I often have. I love my family. But it’s been a long unwinding of the expectation that I will, just because my ovaries make it so.

Maren: Are we long lost twins?! My anal-retentive nature will probably never let me forget how much toilet paper is in the house at any given time, but the house chores are gender neutral and everyone can pitch in in some way shape or form, big or little. Don’t like the chore I’ve offered you? Pitch me a compromise! My husband and I definitely do that. Never too early to practice those job skills, right?

Lauren: HA! Totally. Okay, Maren, last question! And this is a fun one. :) What is, to you, the absolute best part of being a parent? What did you never anticipate about having these little people in your life that has been delightful and surprising? For me, it’s been experiencing my daughter’s wicked sense of humor, which grows sharper and drier by the day. She’s only seven, and I can’t believe what she comes up with as it is—not to mention in 20 years when she has her own HBO stand-up special.

Maren: I love that! I think what has been fun for me is seeing the things they create out of seemingly nothing. It really is true that some buttons and a cardboard tube and some pencils and a mismatched sock can suddenly entertain them for an hour and is ten times more fun than anything I’d buy. I really just need to step back and get out of their way and let them have agency over the project (that includes letting them sort out their differences because I can’t always be there to fight their battles). It is so fascinating to watch how their minds work, and I’m often inspired by new ideas or challenged by them to step outside my comfort zone.

from Web Developers World https://skillcrush.com/2018/01/17/feminist-parenting-working-moms/