#to the point i considered selling my stupid ticket

[tardis--dreams]

What exactly is the point of naming an album and a tour """Give Me The Future""" when you don't play "Give Me The Future"- I'm gonna fucking scream

[rainbowgaez]

this current war on adblockers feels so stupid. so much time and resource is getting blown on something that feels like it only has one logical outcome. i simply do not have time to look at that shit. we live in an abundance of content, and there is just no reality in which i have even a fraction of a second to waste being advertised to. if you have to shove your name in my face, im automatically doubtful of whatever product or service it is because time has proven again and again that most of the time, most of it is bullshit.

not only that, but none of these sites are on good enough terms with me to even consider making that concession with. like do you honestly think i like any of these websites enough to let them waste my time? every single big platform is letting LLM garbage seep into its pores. everything i see has to be viewed under an increasingly zoomed in lens of scrutiny. every day i have to learn the new ways people are trying to sell candied turds because they're starting to get good at making them look like real chocolate, and every day it i inch closer to saying "why am i even fucking bothering" and ripping the cable line out of my house.

the rules and TOS on almost each site begging me to stop using adblockers are all arbitrarily enforced to the point where everyone regardless of viewpoint feels as though they're one wrongly worded post away from being booted without even being given a reason, and that's assuming they don't end up a victim of an easily executed mass reporting campaign. the moderation's hands are tied. they know the complaints aren't legit, but there are just so many of them. their tickets are all backed up. they have to clear the queue or else they'll get reprimanded for poor performance. so what if that's where most of your social connections with people across the world were. you can go to one of these other 5 websites that all have the same host of issues, some worse than others. but please give us 5.99 a month and we'll stop showing you ads bro. come on bro its only 8.99. dude trust me for 12.99 a month its so worth it. you can afford a measly 15.99 a month right? you can't beat the savings 19.99 a month (charged yearly, non-refundable) gives you.

i get it, you use something for free, you are the product, but it has never been easier to reason with myself why i should no longer be a part of this stupid transaction because i get less and less out of it by the day

[sadaveniren]

The day I realised that what happens to them and the decisions they make don't actually affect my life my experience with the fandom improved soooo much!

Like sure, I still hate the stunts and specially hate that we live in a society that forces queer people to do things like that but at the end of the day they sure know what's better for their lifes than I do 🤷‍♀️ (and anyone who things that Harry's career would be the same today without any of the stunt is seriously naive, sure holivia was the worst and it damages Harry's image to an extent but it also got him a lot of exposure, and it doesn't matter if the go hates him and think he's the worst... They're still buying tickets and albums)

It also helps to understand that the same way we know we won't convince antis that they're queer and together, their teams KNOW that the stunts won't convince us that they aren't. The stunts are ridiculous and unbelievable but they aren't for us, all of this circus is for the gp and the gp don't care or knows enough to see the obvious lack of sense. It's NOT that their teams think we're idiots, they're not trying to make those things believable for us because they know we know.

And because I know that and I know I can't do anything about it I just don't care enough to let it ruin my experience. Like every time their location is unknown I just assume they're together... Idc if last known location is in opposite parts of the world because if there's a plane there's a way. I will assume they're in love and together until I become their personal friend and they look me in the eyes and tell me that not, that they broke up. I assume that all the love songs they write are for each other even when they say the opposite. Sometimes I'm wrong but meh... I literally don't care

Anon you get it! This is EXACTLY how I feel right down to the “things would be VERY different in his career if Harry didn’t stunt and people need to understand that”. I’m not saying Holivia is what got Harry his Grammy but I do think it would be naive to assume that he wouldn’t have been as common of a name if he didn’t have his names in the paper the way he has - and part of that WAS through Holivia. (I can sense the hate from those with lesser reading comprehension incoming)

I answered an anon a couple weeks ago that was all “how do you know they’re still together?” and my answer is “how do you know they’ve broken up?” I know what I consider to be signs they’ve broken up and they might not be stuff everyone agrees with but that’s okay! Cause it’s not about everyone else! I’m here for me because I enjoy it! I go to concerts and buy merch because I like the experience. I don’t buy merch I don’t like and I don’t go to shows I don’t think I’ll enjoy.

Louis and Harry’s team 100% knows larries exist and that we aren’t going anywhere. I fucking sat in a hotel room with a giant TPWK rainbow flag all day in the window that Louis’ team could VERY VISIBLY SEE and watched as they kinda pointed at it and moved on with their day. Harry picks up a flag every show and Louis posts pictures with the flags on his social media and they aren’t that stupid. They know what this means. They know their demographic, and above all else HARRY AND LOUIS know their demographic. And they also know what they have to do to sell music and make nice with the general public to keep financing their desire to perform as they want to.

Have fun in fandom people! If you aren’t having fun, if you’re feeling miserable or like it’s not your jam move on! It’s okay! No one will blame you. You will find a much more fulfilling life enjoying yourself with what you do than forcing yourself to do something you have zero interest in or even actively dislike doing.

[purplesurveys]

1768

What is a smell that you absolutely cannot stand? Smell of people’s body odor. 🤢 < This is always a correct answer. Also the combination of having been sweaty + being under the sun for a long period of time. That one's a common encounter where I live because it's very humid here, and it's not a pleasant smell to be around.

When is the last time you felt adrenaline moving through your veins? September. It was a work event and the organizers we tapped were doing fuck all and were nowhere to be found for most of it, and I had no choice but to step up and oversee every single moving part of the event from the second it started and ended. Internally our team was in absolute chaos as we were deciding most things on the fly, but it was a team achievement that we managed to make it not look that way for everyone who attended.

When is the last time you bought new shoes? What kind of shoes are they? I got Dunk Lows in June for my Thailand trip.

Do you know anybody who snorts when they laugh? Who? I know a few people who'll unconsciously let out a snort mid-laugh. It's super endearing and we always end up laughing even more when it happens.

Have you ever been hit on by a stranger? Flattering or creepy? I have. I found it flattering mainly because they were extremely polite when I turned them down.

Do you remember the first Rated R movie you ever saw? What was it? I do – it was The Exorcist. I saw it when I was I think 11 or 12.

What is something good that happened to you last week? Something bad? Something good: I presented a pitch to a potential client. Pitching is one of my least favorite parts about my job because it demands a lot of pre-work/research, then I also have to worry about how I sell our business and our credentials and our team...but I think I handled last week's presentation pretty well, considering that's my first as a director. At this point I'm not worrying too much if we win or lose the account, and am simply satisfied with how I performed.

Something bad: Finding out about Matthew Perry's passing. I first read of it through Reddit and spent a good deal of time denying it until I had to come to terms with the fact that it was true.

Are you afraid of any animals? Well yes; I wouldn't exactly be thrilled if I come face-to-face with one that's very much capable of ripping my arms and legs apart.

Do you put your elbows on the table when you eat? Do you think it’s rude? I do when I'm just at home or with people I'm comfortable with. Internally, I honestly couldn't give less of a shit but for politeness' and manners' sakes I keep them off the table only in work/professional settings.

Have you ever gotten into a fight with somebody over the internet? A few. For the most part I just end up blocking the other person once they start sounding ridiculous; but there was one time I allowed myself to have a little fun going back-and-forth because I wanted the guy to continue expressing (read: exposing) how stupid he was being.

Do you think that you listen to your head or your heart more? Head.

If your mom told you she was pregnant today would you freak out? I would certainly be in shock considering she's had her uterus removed.

You trust all of your friends completely, true or false? True.

How many buttons are on the clothes you’re wearing right now? They don't have any.

If you could re-paint your bedroom, what color would you choose? I'm already content with it being white.

What has been the best night of your life so far? Why? Seeing Yoongi in concert for sure has to be up there. I never ever expected to see BTS in any capacity as soon as I had, so the whole journey of me and my friends desperately getting tickets for all of us all the way down to buying plane tickets and building up our Thailand itinerary from scratch will always be a cherished memory.

I will say that our time immediately post-concert was a bit of a downer because I didn't expect the Bangkok nightlife to be as dead as it had been. It was midnight and my friends and I were walking...and walking...and walking...trying to find some sort of bar – any bar – and ended up with nothing so our adrenaline quickly died out and we merely ended up at a McDonald's, lol. Still a fun night.

Did you learn to read before, during, or after kindergarten? During, I think. I was a big reader as a kid but didn't start having my nose up in books until Kinder 2, a whole year after I first started school. 

Has anybody ever thrown you a surprise party? Nope. I wish I could have at least one of those.

Would you ever even think about taking part in a wet t-shirt contest? If a ridiculous amount of money was *guaranteed* I don't see why I wouldn't.

What is the last thing you lost? A hair tie, as I do.

Have you ever pretended to be sick to get out of something? Yep, a few work meetings I didn't want to bother with.

Who is somebody you know who is spoiled rotten? Not really, no.

Would you rather visit Poland or Portugal? Poland.

Have you ever seen somebody give birth? Never.

You have 10 minutes to make dinner for two people, what do you make? Chapaguri with pork.

Have you ever borrowed something and never gave it back? What was it? I never did give my sister's yellow jacket back to her, lol.

What is one thing you wish you understood about the opposite sex? How to have them talk more. Most guys I've talked to have been straight-to-the-point with their answers and usually the responses are also very short, and I've always found that jarring.

Is you hair color the same as it was when you were a baby? Nope, it's purple now.

Have you ever been in trouble for being too loud? I've been seriously called out once, in grade school. Apart from that I stay quiet when the need be.

Honestly, have you ever given somebody a sucky gift? I have. It was in high school when my family wasn't exactly financially comfortable yet and I had to get someone a gift with the little allowance/savings I had. I felt so shy that I had to walk away from the group when we were opening the presents.

[causticsunshine]

because i’ve supposedly entered my villain era by calling out weird fan behavior alongside the unsafe lack of masking earlier on in louis tour, ya boy is back with another Fandom Gripe Post at long last!

i'm fully prepared to have some people coming for my neck over this one because this one is more larrie focused, but if you are feeling directly attacked by what i have to say, all i have to say in turn is: perhaps you are feeling attacked because i hit the nail on the head in some way? perhaps rethink things a little?

but anyway, today i'm going to talk about problematic levels of clear ✨Favoritism✨ and the hypocrisy i've lately been seeing it go hand in hand with:

- a good amount of larries i see around these days just love to pretend they don't have strong biases towards harry or louis, meaning that they love them equally or love them differently but with the same fervor, but then constantly show their asses in showing their favoritism by actively criticizing one and constantly uplifting the other.

like there's no shame to be found if you vibe with one more than the other! or if you're like me wherein depending on what's going on, your attention tends to switch around, because at least there's honesty found in that! instead though i've seen countless people claim they love and support both of them equally but then constantly show their ass when it comes to favoritism, and in a really ugly and hypocritical sense.

- the specific favoritism i wanna talk about today is the one i've been seeing the most of lately, and that's the favoritism i see in those who have louis is a clear favorite but cannot seem to stop finding excuses to dog on harry or make fun of him and/or hold him to standards i definitely don't see louis being held to and pretending it's just a quirky dynamic, ya know <3

if you want good and recent example of this: people being mad as hell about how HSLOT was going down last year and nitpicked every little thing about it from fans going to multiple shows to the mask mandates at shows, and then have since gone to or are going to go to numerous louis shows at much smaller venues where most fans aren't wearing masks or are taking theirs off (when it's the area's and/or venue's fucking policy especially!) and are packed super close together with other fans because most of these venues sell most of their tickets for pit/standing on the floor?

or! saying how H immediately putting on a mask and running backstage after a show wasn't 'safe enough' when L was almost consistently meeting fans maskless the first little leg of US tour, not to mention handing out food maskless (regardless of the kind gesture...bro it ain't the time)? like both their asses haven't always smart about public masking and def have deserved callouts for it but at least harry wasn't hanging out around fans maskless before or after shows in close proximity?

and if anyone tries to jump down my throat again about where masking is mandated and where it isn't because then 'it shouldn't matter alex omg you're so stupid'..... bro people are still getting covid even in areas where the mandates have been lifted?? a mask mandate being lifted just means numbers are supposedly good enough that we don't have to mask up everywhere anymore but it's still your choice if you'd like to keep wearing your mask or not and risking shit but like sorry you lack the common sense to understand that?

- and also on the treatment of harry vs. treatment of louis by those with an obvious favoritism to louis: why are so many of y’all so goddamn meaaan to H all the time like the fuck did he do to you that you always gotta talk about him like he’s your bitchass annoying friend you constantly make fun of just because you don’t want them to sit at your lunch table anymore?? it’s really not funny considering the point most of you take it like 'oh i wanna throw hands with him so bad <3' and 'louis is my fave but yeah h and i got beef uwu' as if that's just your Quirky Ting you do with him because your relationship is ‘different’ to yours with louis… like bro why is that funny to you? why is that your knee-jerk reaction when he legit hasn't done shit to you? sure most of us have a different relationship to the two of them individually but we’re not all constantly making fun of either of them to that degree?

personally yeah, before anyone tries to come and call me or anyone else a hypocrite: i do make fun of the both of them in a lighthearted way pretty often—like i'll call harry a silly fruit or roll my eyes at some of his music/book/tv and film tastes because they're not for me, or i'll tell louis if he doesn't stop talking about NFTs i'm gonna smack him with a rolled up newspaper—but i’m not the one here claiming i'm a 'true larrie' and i 'love them both' when all i do is raise one up and have some weird and warped personal vendetta against the other based off of some petty made up bullshit to try justify my favoritism?

sorry but some of y'all are just assholes about this shit... like, you ever hear of the phrase 'if i don't have anything nice to say...' because i'm here to remind you! you don't have to start babying them but jesus christ what do you get out of being legitimately fucking mean to your lesser favorite all the goddamn time? do you have a sadism complex? are you mean to your friends like this too, because you can't seem to distinguish poking fun from being a dick? gotta say i'm a little concerned!

- i always say solos, particularly solos who get it Wrong like het harries and stunt louies and uwu-louies (just to start!), are the bane of my fucking existence here but “larries” acting in similar accordance to them with these warped favoritisms passed off as anything but and constant inability to keep your clear non-favorite’s name out of your mouth—especially when all you are is mean to and about them and constantly lord shit over them and criticize them for anything and everything—are quickly shooting to the top of my shit list because i’m convinced in some ways y’all are worse… at least with solos they’re not pretending to like someone they just constantly talk shit on??

but yeah i'm just tired of the hypocrisy and this is a callout i see far less than some of the other warranted ones i see floating around but i wanted to make it because i think people just fully being assholes for the stupidest made up reasons is a bit of a problem?

and just a reminder because this was a more pointed post, but if you're doing the same shit but in reverse wherein harry is your clear fave and when you talk about or on louis, all you do is dog on him and hold him to weird standards.... every callout to nasty behavior i made here applies to you as well, you're not safe!!

but yeah i wish everyone doing this nonsense pretending they're not or feeling a little called out when they genuinely believe they're not taking things this far a very happy Reassess Yourself and Get Well Soon x

[verawhisk]

HI I AM RETURNING YOUR ASK!!!

fav fighters and why??????? go into so much detail tell me everything i am a preteen girl laying on her stomach swinging my legs :))

*cracks knuckles disgustingly* sorry this is gonna be really long and formatted like a buzzfeed article pls brace yourself and get a nice hot drink to sip on

el cucuy: lean, a little bit mean, definitely screams

(tuf 13 finale)

i first discovered tony through the ultimate fighter compilations and i instantly related to him because i’m also a non-white kid who grew up in a country ass town of fuckville, nowhere and got teased by my white classmates for it. clearly he had a rough childhood but i like to think that everything he’s been through has made him a stronger and wittier fighter. i unironically consider him one of the toughest and smartest in the game--which is weird because most people are chomping at the bit to call him stupid or cringe, but i stand by it!!

(tony OBLITERATING michael at the ufc 262 pre-fight press conference) 

obvi his fighting style is super exciting to watch too. his spinning shit is top tier and i love that he has this edgy yet fun-loving personality where like. he’ll rip a guy’s arm off but he’ll do it with a smile on his face lol. it’s just very endearing to me for some reason.

(ufc 229: tony ferguson vs. anthony pettis)

also: least important of all the points but he's soo funny and i feel like if he were my age i'd just be in love with him?? i'm just so drawn to bizarre and lighthearted people LOL he's so friggin cute.

(ufc 216 embedded: vlog series - episode 4)

nick diaz

(elitexc: nick diaz vs mike aina)

my emo boy, my cesar gracie jiu jitsu black belt, my one and only (jk he would never) nick diaz!! now i’m not gonna lie it’s a lot harder for me to squeal about nick because he’s said multiple times that he doesn’t like fighting; it’s just what he does. the list of things he actually seems to care about include his family (most notably nate),

(ufc 266: espn interview with brett okamoto)

doing triathlons, and teaching jiu-jitsu and it tears me up inside that he fights because he feels pressured by the ufc and the fans. he’s even said multiple times that he started fighting to protect himself from other kids when he was in high school.

i feel conflicted because his “you-gotta-do-what-you-gotta-do” attitude is the reason why i love him so much, but it’s the same reason he keeps fighting (and suffering while ufc executives make money off of him)….

(ufc 47: backstage interview)

i guess the most appropriate thing i can fangirl about is his almost childlike bluntness and how much he hates the fame and the press. apparently he once rejected a sponsorship deal (that probably would have made him a lot of money) because he thought the product was ‘the stupidest fucking thing he'd ever seen in his life’. he also straight up said at a press conference for him vs. gsp that the ufc was "selling wolf-tickets" (aka lying to hype up the fight) like… RIGHT in front of dana lmao

if it were like the early 2000s i would definitely go on about how hot and fine he is, but given that he’s past his prime (through no fault of his own, he had 5 years of his career stolen from nsac for smoking weed) and signed to a fight promotion that doesn’t care about him, all i want is for him to retire peacefully and to be able to do what he wants :(

(dream 3: nick diaz vs katsuya inoue. hehe look at him bowing)

whenever people talk about nick’s fighting style, they always default to "he's got an iron chin, he's got endurance, and he talks a lot of shit" but he's also a jiu-jitsu practitioner who can be very respectful? he helps opponents up after fights (lifted frank shamrock from his feet and called him a legend) and even expresses remorse when he seriously hurts them (accidentally dislocated joe hurley's arm, immediately released him, and couldn't stop checking on him even though he just won) and like. idk. it makes me mad. he's actually so intelligent and polite and i wish more people would focus on that..

the highlight: an mma fighter for jesse pinkman enjoyers

(ufc fight night 135: pre-fight interview)

LOL obvious answer incoming. it’s justin gaethje!! now out of all the fighters i like, i think my love for him might be the most superficial 😭 i just find his face and body and whole demeanour so cuuute like?? his red hair? his big blue eyes? his cute little lip scar that he got from a headbutt (of course he did)? the fact that he seems so incredibly one-brain-celled almost every time he speaks? gaethje is a cage fighter with the bone density of a gorilla, but uhhh he's also kind of.... babey.

(wsof 34: justin gaethje vs. luiz firmino ROLLING THUNDERR WOOOOO!!!!!!)

but ofc the most important thing about a fighter is their fighting!! my favourite thing about gaethje’s style, weirdly enough, is how light and bouncy he is. i can’t think off the top of my head of any other fighters that have this weird quality?? it's how he’s able to apply lots of pressure on his opponents but also spin super-fast like a top whenever he needs to; like in the middle of a fight he'll go from kicking legs like he's 200 pounds to doing spinning shit like he's 125. idk it's crazy, i don't know how it works and i probably never will, but i just find that really fascinating

(ufc 209 embedded: vlog series - episode 3)

aand thats it!! phew you're finally free lol. i do love the other lightweights and some of the welter/middle/heavyweights but these three are my absolute favs so far! granted i've only watched like a portion of the ufc archive and i've yet to really explore anything else like one or bellator even though i really should--not to mention all the current ufc happenings. i'm pretty out of the loop but uhh you know i'm just a girl watching some cage fights and that's it really <3

anyways i hope you had fun reading this :> agghghhgh thank you for asking me back WOO

[obeiii-mee]

Hello! Can I request an hc about a shady MC who's not phase by anything in Devildom with the brothers (and Diavolo?? he deserves love!!!)? Like, when Luci's like "i CaN KiLL yOu hUmAN", MC's reaction was like "Oh... congratulations then." i need more shady mc who may or may not be planning to ruin your life😂😂 Thanks and take care!!❤❤

The Brothers + Diavolo with an MC that is not phased by DevilDom

__________________________________

Pls I need more shady MC, they would not take any shit from the brothers. Put any Gen Z-er with these guys and you’ve got yourself a suicidal and reckless human exchange student.

They wouldn’t know what to do with one of those ahaksbakanhaka you’re right, Diavolo deserves all the love >:(((((((

You better take care too >:( thanks for sending me this big brain request. I’ve been preoccupied with other projects so I took a while to get to this ask. Hope you’re doing OK💙

____________________________________

Lucifer:

-He thought having a human exchange student was going to be bad enough as it is but this…..this was so much worse than he could have ever imagined

-The moment you arrived, he already knew you were going to be a problem child and a persistent one at that

-Literally the first thing you asked him was : “Why do you look like an off-brand Levi Ackerman?”

-And he was left there, astounded, confused and offended because he had no idea who you were talking about (cuz at that point you hadn’t met the third eldest) and the tone you had was, frankly, pissing him off

-You kept wondering off on your own????? Without looking like you gave a shit even though you almost walked into a butcher’s shop that specialises in human meat???? Tf MC?

-Also really irritated that you couldn’t be intimidated and that DevilDom was like a playground to you, for some reason? Like, MC get out of the fiery pits of eternally tormented souls- this is Hell, not the McDonald’s ball pit ffs

-Things did not improve for him lmao, by the end of the first week he had already ripped out a good chunk of his hair because of you

-“MC, you should know by now provoking demons like this for no good reason is only going to make life harder for you. Keep this up and you’ll get killed in no time because of your behaviour.”

-“Great, can we have a hip-hip and a hurray?”

-In the span of one day, he’s had to come to your rescue six times (approximately) because you’re too nonchalant about your surroundings around literal creatures of hell

-He doesn’t have enough coffee or will to live for this bs

-“Lucifer, I found this dead plant and brought it here because it reminded me of you.”

-“…..sigh. Why? Why does it remind you of me?”

-“Because it’s cold and unresponsive.”

-He made the consecutive decision to ignore you

-(low-key kept the plant tho)

-Honestly, you get on his nerves a lot and he has definitely contemplated killing you in the past but at the end of the day he really can’t bring himself to do it

-We both know he tried a few times lmfao

-“I will tear you limb from limb, human-“

-“Can I finish my tea first.”

-“You…wait, what?”

-“You’re crazy if you think I’m letting this tea get cold. Try to kill time before I’m done and I’ll smash this cup against your head.”

-If you try hard enough, you might even elicit a laugh out of him, especially if your shadiness is directed at any of his brother which results in him patting your head affectionately

-Nowadays he’s just concerned because you seemed to have made an alliance of sorts with Belphagour and Satan and that’s not a good sign

-For his sake, if not yours, at least try to survive the year without getting chomped on by a random demon please

-He’s too stubborn to let you die just because you’re unbothered by everything so cut him some slack and help out damn it

Mammon:

-“Oi Lucifer, how come I’m stuck babysittin’ this stupid human?”

-“And how come I’m stuck with this asshole for a tour guide, with his fake ass designer shoes and no brand sunglasses. That’s a lot of smack talk from someone with crow shit stains covering the back of his jacket. Also, did you stick your hair in a bucket of mayonnaise?”

-……..

-He was so offended lol

-Normally, humans like you cower in fear whenever demons are as much as mentioned because of the whole “I can eat you whole” thing

-And here you are; insulting the Avatar of Greed and one of the princes of Hell himself just because you didn’t like his attitude

-Don’t worry tho, he warms up to you in less than a fucking month simply because you still come to his rescue whenever his brothers start insulting him and wow, look at that, his heart is now combusting on the floor

-“Y’all have no right to criticise Mammon when he has the most self control out of all of you.”

-“Since when does Mammon have any self control? He can’t keep himself from nicking anything that looks shiny.”

-“Motherfucker, I don’t see him trying to choke me to death, respectfully pls shut the fuck up. I don’t want to say I have favourites but if I do, it’s definitely him.”

-While Mammon’s in the background, with hearts instead of pupils in his eyes like ❤️👄❤️

-He doesn’t even mind running around after you anymore (will still complain about it though because your ass is in constant danger and he’s had enough)

-Honestly, you keep starting shit with random demons, some of which are quite powerful mind you, and you don’t back down even when he’s there to step in

-Would low key love to watch you fight one of your classmates at RAD and organise a ticket selling booth for the event but Lucifer will hang him a new one if he does

-So for now, he sticks to baring his teeth at the aggravator in question and you’re there, giving the same demon the middle finger

-The way you sometimes match his energy gets him so hyped up lmao

-“Mammon, did you steal Levi’s money again?”

-“T’s none of her business human. Now go away, shoo!”

-“Bitch, don’t ‘shoo’ me, I ain’t a bird. Now tell me, did you?”

-“…..Why do you ask?”

-“Because a new flavour of instant noodles just got announced, called ‘Super Hell-Sauce Flavour’ and I thought you might be more interested in that than wasting the money on gambling.”

-“….ok but only if you come with me to buy some.”

-This…this is true love right here

Levi:

-Oh no, now there’s two of you

-Why do I feel like his energy would match MC’s almost immediately? Maybe it’s because he spends too much time in his room on the internet like the rest of us do

-“What do you want, you stupid normie?”

-“300…..”

-“….300 what?”

-“300 mangas collected, thousands of episodes of anime watched, over 60 character figurines, plushies, body pillows, merchandise and several posters only to be called a fucking normie by a demon weeb that’s only known me for 10 minutes.”

-Boom, instant friendship

-He becomes attached to you almost immediately and now that he knows how unphased you are by DevilDom, he is seriously worried

-Hell, you’re making him consider going outside his room just to make sure you’re alive and not dead in a ditch somewhere because you decided to get on someone’s nerves that particular day

-Even during the quiz thing, when he almost kills you, you’re just sitting on the floor and awkwardly watching him as he throws a sissy fit

-Levi feels sort of conflicted with you because one one hand you’re good company and he loves having you around, you’re his Henry after all

-But on the other hand, you put yourself in so much danger it makes him paranoid so often to the point where he wants to keep you locked in his room and wrapped in bubble wrap

-Nearly had a heart attack when you almost walked right into a pit of lava like MC???? This isn’t one of his video games???? You’re not gonna respawn if you die????

-Besides all that, he gets a bit jealous of you confidence and your ability to just do whatever without fearing death or consequence

-“MC, how do you do it?”

-“Do what?”

-“How do you go about your life without a care in the world?”

-“I guess I’ll tell you my secret Levi. I’m not like other humans that’s why, I’m just so unique I do things differently.”

-“You sound like a pick me-“

-As long as you’re OK and not injured because of your carelessness, he’s indifferent about your behaviour and will even applaud you for your bravery when it comes to this sort of thing

-“lmao the human exchange student just dumped Solomon’s cooking in the trash while looking him dead in the eye 💀💀💀”

Satan:

-Your attitude towards DevilDom and demons in general kept him entertained, if nothing else

-You rarely seemed to consider how much of a threat that place really is and usually you were just running around, completely ignoring Lucifer’s rules and doing your own thing

-Which, you know, he’s all about

-I can’t say there were no incidents between the two of you

-With his short temper and your tendency to say things without caring about the consequences, there were definitely moments when he might’ve snapped on you

-“MC for goodness sake, what happened to my room?”

-“What do you mean?”

-“It’s an absolute mess! I just told you to bring me my spells and curses book, not mow through everything!”

-“It’s not my fault this place is built like a fucking labyrinth. You should be grateful I went to get it for you at all, I almost tripped and died several times on my way back. Also, you should get a new ladder for your shelves. It did the broken.”

-“MC….”

-“Yes?”

-“You are so lucky I love you.”

-Other than the fact his anger takes over him when things like these happen, he not so subtly encourages you to keep going because seeing Lucifer scowl at your antics gets him wheezing his lungs out

-I like to think Satan would be very impressed, even in the beginning, at the amount of nonchalance you can radiate at times

-I mean, you sure as hell don’t see it often and he loves how unpredictable you are more often than not

-If anything, he should probably thank you-idk how, but his patience has increased significantly every since you got here and he appreciates having some more control of his emotions

-“I’m gonna go put oil in Lucifer’s shoes.”

-“Do you have a death wish?”

-“Satan, I am old enough to make my own decisions and I concluded that this action is necessary.”

-“Necessary for what?”

-“Raising everyone’s morale! All of you seemed to feel down lately so I thought this would be fun for everybody!”

-“Except Lucifer, right?”

-“Except Lucifer. He grounded me from my D.D.D like I’m a fucking teenager who needs to be supervised-pssshht, I’m the most responsible one here.”

-“Yes clearly.”

-“Goodbye dear Satan, I may die today. But it’s for the greater good! (Dramatic exit with sound effects)”

-“WAIT MC!”

-“(pops head back in) yes?”

-“May I offer you my assistance?”

-You’re basically taking turns pranking his brothers and it’s hilarious

-Satan is not too worried about your well being simply because he knows his siblings and him are always going to be nearby to save you if you pull something stupid again

-Even so, he checks up on you throughout the day; just to make sure

-“Where were you?”

-“Running from a bunch of demons. Who wanted to go munchy crunchy on me, I assume.”

-“……”

-“Either that or people here are a lot friendlier than originally expected.”

-You can be such a handful and it really tests him, especially when he’s angry enough to begin with

-But despite your amazing talent at either getting completely lost around Hell, purposely walking into a prohibited place just because you felt like it or riling up others with how blunt you are, he still cares about you deeply

-You may be a pain the ass, but you’re his pain in the ass <3

Asmo:

-He should’ve known something was up with this particular human when you stood there, completely calm and collected, while Beel salivated at the thought of eating you on your first day

-Asmo just brushed it off for a while but it kept happening???

-The first time Lucifer ever told you off, you really went and said “Or what? Are you going to eat me? If so, you can go ahead and start with-“

-He came to your rescue and covered your mouth before you got to finish and before Lucifer unleashed his wrath on to everyone in that house

-“OOPSIE! I think MC has been spending too much time with me. Sorry Lucifer, we gotta run now! We have a party to attend, don’t we MC darling?”

-“You mean the one hosted by the guy that tried to kill me because I shoved into him on the hallway at school and then proceeded to tell him to go fuck himself right back into whatever hell hole he was born in before you came and charmed our way out of it?”

-“Yes.”

-“Ah OK. “

-You’re tiring for sure but you’re not exactly unlikeable

-You have a certain charm hanging about you that Asmo loves

-“I almost died like…30 minutes ago.”

-“WAIT WHAT?? WHY?? WHAT HAPPENED-MC ARE YOU OK???”

-“Yeah, I almost drank some poison today because someone told me it was water. It smelt off though so I didn’t.”

-“….”

-“Anyway, I got you this bracelet on my way home.”

-He really does wish you would take things a bit more seriously

-This is your life on the line, you know? What would he do if you died?

-“MC, you’re not immortal, you can die so much more easily than I can, you know that right???”

-“I don’t care.”

-“Well I do! And you should too….”

-A lot of people don’t see past his vanity tbh, because he can be such a caring person towards the people he loves

-The amount of videos he has of you appearing to be completely calm while pure chaos is descending in the background is pretty impressive

-Every time he uses his charm on you to try and get you to commit his sin, it just doesn’t work???? For some reason???? And even if it’s just with simple, innocent affection for now, he is determined to tempt you into it

-“MC~gimme a hug!”

-“But that’s social interaction and I don’t support it- do you have a charger for my D.D.D by any chance?

-Or at least die trying to ig

-Asmo loves having you around but you’re giving him wrinkles and that’s not okay >:(

Beel:

-The moment he realised how carefree you actually were, he sort of started checking up with you quite frequently throughout the day

-It’s his way of protecting you but if he could, he would follow you around all the time

-Becomes your body guard because you may not care enough about your safety but he certainly does so get ready to be carried everywhere

-You will not get hurt nor will anyone mess with you if he has a say in it and let me tell you, he does

-Thing is, his brothers mostly know him for being slightly dense in some aspects of day to day life

-He’s not perceptive of things that don’t involve food or his loved ones

-And because you most definitely are a loved one of his, he does notice how careless you are really often

-And it scares, rather worries, him because DevilDom is an incredibly dangerous place-even with all the precautions they had taken when you came

-“MC get down, you could fall.”

-“But Beel, look-I’m finally taller than everyone else! Taller than you even! Hey, should I do a backflip?”

-He has no idea why you thought jumping from 60 meter high cliff into a small river of squashed demon blood was a good idea but he wasn’t going to risk anything just because you felt like showing off your diving skills

-Proceeds to carry you away, completely unfazed

-In this case, I feel like Beel is not someone who gets bothered by the horrible things happening around there either

-As long as he has food and his family is safe and happy then he’s also happy, as mentioned above

-But he knows he’s alright with DevilDom because he’s been living here for centuries now

-A bit curious as to why you’re so unbothered

-And even more curious as to why you weren’t terrified of him transforming in his demon form after he lost control when he found out you ate his pudding

-Or more like Mammon did and pushed the blame on you

-“YOU. ATE. MY. PUDDING!”

-“Beel I love you but if you did not just see Mammon shoving the damn container in my mouth two seconds prior to this, then you might need glasses.”

-He apologised to you later for it but even so, you didn’t seem to mind like at all and he didn’t really understand why

-Unless you end up explaining why exactly you feel so indifferent about your life being in potential danger, he won’t really pry

-But now he has even more reason to follow you around like a lost puppy

-Since it’s clear you don’t really care about protecting yourself

-So now it’s his job to do it

-MC protection squad? Mostly Beel and Mammon

-ahhh he cute

Belphie:

-Oh

-You piss him off so much

-He’s trying to have his moment, you know?

-Finally getting that glimmer of satisfaction after killing a human as a way to avenge his sister’s death

-Trying his hardest to make it as miserable as possible because he has so much rage in him, he needs you to suffer

-“Harder Daddy-“

-“Oh fuck off.”

-Nah but for real, what the fuck MC

-Why does he even bother, he feels like he should be sleeping instead of dealing with your bullshit

-Even afterwards, when your future self shows up and he tries to kill you again, you look more thoughtful than irritated???

-Lucifer and Beel are literally holding him back from doing another Chocky on you and you’re standing there, looking at him with your eyebrows raised

-“Hey Belphie, I have a quick question. I know you’re trying to kill me and everything but do you like the colour blue?”

-“HUH??!?!”

-“It’s a simple yes or no question Belphie. Do. You. Like. Blue?”

-“WHAT DOES IT MATTER???!!!”

-“BELPHAGOUR, AVATAR OF SLOTH-YES OR NO, JUST FUCKING ANSWER!”

-“YES! FUCK YOU!”

-“Ah ok thanks. I like blue too :)”

-????????????

-Pls he felt like sticking his foot down your throat

-As of late, he’s kind of glad he didn’t manage to scare you away that day and that he didn’t traumatise you or something

-At the time, he was mad because he didn’t understand why you weren’t scared but now he just wants to make it up to you

-“You didn’t deserve any of that. I’m sorry MC, I won’t blame you if you decide to stay away from me now.”

-“Stfu dipshit, what’s gotten you so depressed? Did you have another fight with Beel? I told you not to eat the last slice of cake.”

-“Rude ass, I was trying to apologise for my past mistakes-let me repent will you?”

-“Said no demon ever. Now let’s go hang out you emo bitch.”

-Y’all vibe together on a spiritual level once that shit gets sorted out

-But he’s kinda scared you might pull out a knife on him ngl

-Obviously, you’re still annoying as fuck with that indifferent attitude of yours but he can live with it

-He appreciates the fact that you’re not scared of him, even after what he’s done

Diavolo:

-Ah yes, the future King of DevilDom himself

-He’s very enthusiastic about the idea of you having fun this year…..and to keep you alive….

-He, of course, expected a range of reactions from you when he first summoned you here

-None of which were “Ok but could you not have given me a heads up? Before the whole teleportation thing? I face-planted your onto marvellously polished the floor and now I think I lost even more brain cells than before.”

-He felt so bad gagajajahahwgehhsb

-He apologised for bringing you out here without any warning like that and then proceeded to introduce you to everyone

-Diavolo is actually kind of relieved to see you’re handling everything pretty well

-He thought that maybe DevilDom was too much for a human to deal with

-Meeting Barbatos also went incredibly smooth

-“Barbatos? The one that cleans the floors right? Big fan of your work, I could eat off the floor of the main hall.”

-He’s so glad to see you getting along with everyone and not getting intimidated by the brothers

-It gets him excited thinking about how the exchange program is gonna work and all three realms will be united

-But he’s not stupid so don’t think he’ll allow you to stumble around, getting up to all sorts of mischief

-He always has someone watching you because he would hate to see you die, despite being pretty fond of your carefree attitude

-“MC, please be careful. Most demons here aren’t all that nice.”

-“Aye aye Captain.”

-He fears that many demons would take your indifference as a challenge and try to assert dominance or something by kidnapping you

-As far as creatures of hell go, they love installing fear in people

-So he always keeps an extra eye open for you

-And he’ll be there to help you if something goes wrong

-But other than that, he’s pretty chill as well and he finds you so hilarious, it’s been a while since he’s seen someone as eccentric and dramatic as Mammon and Asmo

-Idk what else to add here, Diavolo is very accepting and as long as you don’t get hurt, he’s glad you can get used to your new surroundings so easily

———————————-

Al~

[poisoned-peppermint]

Part 3 of incorrect quotes because people liked the other ones

~~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Bad: Aren't you forgetting something?

Skeppy: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Bad's forehead before running out.*

Bad: No, pay your bill! Dang it, who raised you? 

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Well, Skeppy and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Bad: That's right... We kissed!

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: I love you.

Bad, not paying attention: What was that?

Skeppy: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: You’re not jealous, are you?

Bad: No!

Skeppy: Good, ‘cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful. 

~~~~~~~~

*Bad and Skeppy are in Paris.*

Bad: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?

Skeppy: But...

Bad: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...

Skeppy: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?

Bad: Yeah.

Skeppy: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.

Bad: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.

Skeppy: Okay, alright

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Skeppy: Hi, I’m ‘things’

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Are you sure Bad's even gay? They barely even looked at me.

~~~~~~~

Bad: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Skeppy: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Bad: But you’re always acting stupid?

Skeppy: ...

Skeppy: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Skeppy: Aww-

Bad: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

~~~~~~~

Bad: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found

~~~~~~~

Bad: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Skeppy: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

Bad: Yes.

Skeppy: I'd sleep.

~~~~~~~~

Bad, to Skeppy: We had a date!

Bad: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

~~~~~~~~

Bad, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way. 

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: That was so hot, Bad.

Bad: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

Skeppy: I'm so in love with you

~~~~~~~~

Dream: Where's Sapnap, Skeppy, and Bad?

George: They're playing hide and seek.

Dream: Where?

George: I don't think you get how this game works.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Good morning.

Bad: Good morning.

Sapnap: Good morning.

George: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Dream: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS! 

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

George: Several traffic violations.

Dream: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Bad: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Quackity: Also, that’s not our car.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

Quackity: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Bad: Why were you microwaving a lemon???

Quackity: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.

Karl: Did you burn an orange too? How???

Quackity: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

~~~~~~

Tommy: Is stabbing someone immoral? Techno: Not if they consent to it. Wilbur: Depends who you’re stabbing. Phil: YES?!?

~~~~~~~

Tommy: *Screams*

Wilbur: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Phil: Should we do something?

Techno: No, I want to see who wins.

~~~~~~~

Phil: Wake me up…

Techno: Before you go go!

Wilbur: When September ends…

Tommy: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

~~~~~~~

Tommy: Techno isn’t answering their phone

Phil: I’ll call

Tommy: Wilbur and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Techno: Hello?

~~~~~~~

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Phil: Shit.

Techno: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Wilbur: OH MY GOD TOMMY FELL OFF!!!

~~~~~~~

Tommy: ARE YOU-

Wilbur: Fucking.

Tommy: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Wilbur:Fucking.

Tommy: IDIOT!

Techno: …What was that?

Wilbur: Phil banned Tommy from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

~~~~~~~

Wilbur: *tapping fingers on table*

Techno: *taps fingers back furiously*

Tommy: …What’s going on?

Phil: Morse code. They’re talking.

Wilbur: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … -

Techno: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK! 

~~~~~~~

Tommy: I'm bored.

Techno: Wanna commit first degree murder?

Tommy: Sure!

Phil, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Wilbur down!!

~~~~~~~

Wilbur: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Phil. They're mad at you.

Phil: No, it's Tommy. They're just being grammatically correct!

*meanwhile*

Tommy: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them.

Techno: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.

Tommy: I stand by my choice.

~~~~~~~

Wilbur: Phil, we're hungry!

Techno: Phil! What's for dinner?

Tommy: We're hungry, Phil!

Phil, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams* 

~~~~~~~

Wilbur, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."

Wilbur: THERE. Now send it.

Tommy:: Dude, your handwriting is terrible, are you sure you want to-

Wilbur: JUST DO IT!

later

Phil: So what does it say?

Techno, reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...."

Phil:

Techno:

Phil: Gross- 

~~~~~~~

Quackity: Karl, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Karl: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later

Quackity: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Sapnap.

~~~~~~~

Quackity: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Karl: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Quackity: Yes!

Sapnap: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

~~~~~~~

Quackity: Sapnap and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Karl: *Sighing* What did Sapnap do?

Quackity: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Sapnap: Who wants a steering wheel?

~~~~~~~

Quackity: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Karl: Wasn't Sapnap with you?

Sapnap: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised. 

~~~~~~~~

Sapnap: Karl you can’t move in with Quackity. Karl: Why not? Sapnap: Well, um, how are you going to feel when they see you without any makeup? Karl: I’m not wearing makeup right now. Sapnap: Holy crap, you’re beautiful.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?

Quackity: Like its slips on and off really easily.

Sapnap:

Quackity: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Karl: We know what you meant. 

~~~~~~~

Quackity: I didn't drink that much last night.

Karl: You were flirting with Sapnap.

Quackity: So what? They're my Husband.

Karl: You asked if they were single.

Karl: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

~~~~~~~

Karl: Why doesn’t Sapnap find me sexy when I bite my lip?

Quackity: What do you look like when you bite your lip?

Karl: *bites lip*

Quackity: ...Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead? 

~~~~~~~

Bad: Are you trying to seduce me?

Skeppy: Why, are you seducible?

~~~~~~~

Bad: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Skeppy: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Bad: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Skeppy: Is it working? 

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Relationships should be 50/50. Bad cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty. 

~~~~~~~

Bad: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Skeppy: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

~~~~~~~

Bad: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.

Skeppy: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything. 

~~~~~~~

Bad: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Skeppy: I wrote you a poem.

Bad, already crying: You did?

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: This date is boring!

Bad: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Skeppy: Then why did you invite me?

Bad: I didn't, I specifically said "don't come with me" then you said " screw you Bad I'll do whatever I want!

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Bad: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Skeppy: Holy moly- 

~~~~~~~

Bad: I owe you one.

Skeppy: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even. 

~~~~~~~~

If this does as well as the others I’ll make another.

[beelsnack]

Obey Me! Boys and the Cute Date They Would Take MC On

Lucifer: “I feel like I don’t belong here.”

When Lucifer had mentioned that an orchestra was going to be performing, they had been so excited to go that they nearly vibrated out of existence. But now that they were here, that excitement had morphed into a heavy lump of anxiety hanging out somewhere between their heart and stomach.

Lucifer glanced down at the human with a raised eyebrow. “And what in the Three Realms would make you think that?”

For a moment, they were quiet, looking around at the crowd of demons dressed to the nines. Elegant silk evening gowns and smart tuxedos abound. Their black slacks and dress shirt made them feel so under-dressed that they might as well have shown up naked.

Lucifer, sharp as ever, pulled them closer and leaned down the speak in their ear. “You needn’t feel intimidated, my dear.”

“I don’t feel intimidated, I feel stupid.”

“That isn’t any better.”

They sighed, casting another look around the hall. Golden mantle pieces, an elegantly-winding staircase, chandeliers absolutely dripping with crystals...everything made them feel incredibly insignificant.

“Should I have gotten more dressed up?”

Lucifer chuckled. “So that’s what has you worried?” 

He lead them away from the entrance into the hall proper. “All of these demons are dressed the way they are because they must work at being beautiful. You, my dear,” he stopped in front of them, reaching down to carefully hold the peacock pendent hanging from their neck - the only piece of jewelry they wore. “Are the only one who is naturally radiant enough to wear my symbol. These peasants could turn themselves into pure gold and they would only shine half as bright as you do.”

They could feel their face grow hot enough to catch fire. They opened and closed their mouth like a fish, intent on refuting Lucifer’s compliment, but he gave them no option. With a deep laugh that they felt travel up their spine, he offered his arm to them in a move straight out of a Victorian romance novel.

“Now then, shall we go? You’ll love this orchestra, I promise.”

Mammon: “I can’t believe there’s street fairs in the Devildom!”

It was surprisingly similar to something you would see up in the Human Realm. Strings of fairy lights lit up the cobblestone street that was lined with all kinds of stalls. Food stalls selling a variety of things that probably shouldn’t be deep fried but are anyway, games of chance, craftsman selling their wares - “Don’t buy anything from that one, all of their crap is cursed and they charge a fee for removal.” 

“Come on,” Mammon clicked his tongue as the two of them wandered throughout the fair. “Did’ja think the Devildom was all doomed souls and torture chambers?”

“...Yes?”

The demon paused before shrugging. “Ya know, that’s fair. But we have an image to keep, don’t we? Can’t have the little humans knowin’ about our bitchin’ carnivals.”

“I’ll take the secret to my grave.” 

Somewhere a little down the street, they could hear the spinning of a roulette wheel, and Mammon immediately perked up. 

“Aw yeah, now we’re talking! Come on, human, you get to see the Great Mammon in all of his glory!”

A thin spike of fear ran through their body as Mammon grabbed their wrist and tugged them through the crowd. “Didn’t Lucifer ban you from gambling? Like, forever?”

“Whatever, what he don’t know won’t hurt ‘im,” they finally reached the roulette booth. “As long as I don’t lose and you don’t squeal, we don’t have anything to worry about!”

“Mammon, there’s a big, gaping hole in your logic there - “

“Have a little faith, human!” Mammon grinned and he slapped some Grimm down on the counter. The glint in his eyes was damn near predatory, and it sent a different kind of shiver down their spine.

The demon behind the counter chuckled gleefully as they spun the wheel. The crowd surrounding them hooted and hollered and shoved each other to be able to watch the wheel, but Mammon looked surprisingly calm. He stood with his arms crossed, eyes trained on the pointer at the top of the wheel.

If they hadn’t been standing right next to him, they wouldn’t have noticed him rhythmically tapping against the sleeve of his jacket.

It was almost imperceptible, but the clicking of the wheel appeared to be following the beat that Mammon was tapping, slowing as the pauses between beats got longer. Eventually, both Mammon and the wheel stopped...

Right on the number he had bet on.

The crowd groaned as Mammon collected his winnings, some hissing at him as they dispersed. The Avatar of Greed looked truly in his element as he flipped a Grimm in the air. “Told ya.”

“You were...using magic?” the human looked back and forth between the wheel and Mammon. “You manipulated the wheel.”

“Aw, man, I was hoping you wouldn’t catch that.” he sighed, pocketing his earnings. “Can’t ya just pretend I have incredible luck?”

“I will if you buy me food.”

“Deal.”

Leviathan: Going to the arcade on a Wednesday at noon was definitely one of Levi’s best ideas.

“Why does your aim suck so bad?”

“Oh, you are SO lucky this game doesn’t have friendly fire, Levi.”

“You couldn’t hit me even if it did.”

They were standing close enough that it wasn’t difficult for them to learn over and bump him with their shoulder. His grip on the orange plastic gun slipped and the virtual bullet went flying off into cyberspace. By the time he managed to correct himself, the zombie he had been aiming for was in the process of devouring the character on screen.

“Hey, what gives?!”

“Oops, sorry. My aim really sucks, you know.”

“That doesn’t even make sense!”

Despite their dirty tactics, Levi still wiped the floor with them, cackling gleefully as their scores tallied up on the screen. "Beat that, normie!"

They pouted and blew a raspberry at him. "Jerk. I want a rematch!"

"You're on!"

Satan: If they hadn’t been in the Devildom for so long, they probably would have been scared out of their mind.

That being said, they had been in the Devildom for a while, and seeing an intricately detailed panorama of a demon cat devouring a person alive was only a little unsettling at this point.

“Wow, that must have taken a while,” they got up closer to the exhibit. “It’s like I can hear the screams of agony.”

“Apparently the artist spent a century just on the expression,” Satan came up behind them, slipping his hand into theirs. “It shows, doesn’t it?”

The Devildom Art Museum was having a special exhibition on Demonic cats, and of course Satan had managed to snag tickets for the two of them. They didn’t particularly want to know how he had managed that.

“So, where to next?” they asked.

“The next room has a collection of cursed cat collars.” Satan nodded his head towards the door. “Apparently there’s one that causes whoever puts the collar on their cat to choke to death.”

“Okay, but if there are any there that harm the cats we’re firebombing the place.”

Asmodeus: “See, I told you this place was cute!”

He hadn’t been lying. The little cafe was tucked into a little side street, and the outside seating provided one of the best views of the lake that they had seen aside from being inside the castle grounds. The moons were just beginning to appear as they sky transitioned from the dark lavender color that served as the Devildom’s “day time” into full darkness, and the reflection from the lake made everything sparkle like diamonds.

“How did you even find this place, Asmo?” they asked as they were seated by the host. “This is pretty hidden.”

“Didn’t you know, darling?” Asmo laughed, reaching across the table to weave their hands together. “Some of the most beautiful things can be found in the strangest of places.”

“That’s pretty, but it doesn’t answer my question.”

“I slept with the owner’s son.”

They couldn’t hold back the definitely-not-cute snort. “Yeah, that tracks.”

“I never pass up an opportunity to fuck someone who can cook.” he said sagely. “I want to be fed before I have to do my walk of shame.”

“Don’t you have to have shame for that?”

“Hush,” Asmo giggled. “Here, they have a human-safe section.”

Beelzebub: “I don’t know, Beel, this place, seems awful expensive.”

The conversion rate between human currency and Grimm sometimes threw them off a little bit, but anytime you say three zeroes it was never a good sign.

“Does it?” Beel glanced up from the menu to look at them quizzically before peeking down at the prices again. “Ah, I guess it would. You don’t have to worry, I’ll pay for it.”

“That’s not - “

The server arrived, cutting off their protest. From the sheen of sweat on their brow, the human took it that the staff knew Beelzebub and his famous appetite. Even just the appetizer was enough to feed a whole family. When the waiter finally turned to them, he had to flip over to a new page in his pad. He looked rather relieved when they simply ordered water and fried bat wings (which they had discovered early on tasted a lot like chicken wings and it was therefore their go to.)

When the server dashed off to place their massive order, Beel turned back to the human. “What were you saying?”

“I don’t...” they sighed. “I won’t be able to pay you back.”

“Why would you have to?”

They blinked, tilting their head. “Huh?”

“I don’t mind paying. Plus, I get a discount here.”

The human glanced around the fancy dining area. “This doesn’t look like the place to give out discounts.”

“A lot of places give me and my brothers discounts. Well, Mammon lost a few of his, I think.”  Beel shrugged. “I think it’s because we’re considered nobility? I usually leave the discount as a tip though.”

That explained the grin the host had on their face when they sat them.

They smiled up at him. “You’re so sweet, Beel.”

Belphegor: Nights in the Devildom were surprisingly peaceful.

Once you got past the ideas of torture chambers and crypts, the nights were just like ones up in the Human Realm. Quiet, lazy, and on clear nights, you could see the stars.

“Do you know what that one is?”

The human followed where Belphegor was pointing. “Hm...Orion?”

“Ding.” Belphie laughed. “I knew you would be good at this.”

In typical Belphie fashion, he had texted them out of the blue and told them to meet him in the courtyard at midnight. They thought about just ignoring him and going to sleep, but now they were curious. Which was probably the demon’s plan.

When they arrived, Belphie was laying down on a blanket he had spread out on the grass.

“Took you long enough,” he yawned. “I almost fell asleep waiting for you.”

“It’s only 12:02!”

“Bold of you to assume I can’t fall asleep in two minutes. Are you going to sit down or what?”

And that was how the two of them ended up cuddled next to each other and stargazing.

Belphie knew a surprising amount about constellations.He was able to point out which star was named what, and knew most of the myths that the constellations were named after. Unsurprisingly, listening to him talk was very soothing, and they could feel their eyelids drooping.

“If you want to sleep, you can.” he finally murmured, sounding close to drifting off himself. “We can keep each other warm.”

“...I don’t think Lucifer would appreciate finding us passed out on the lawn.”

“All the more reason to do it.”

[botanicials]

wish this was the full part, but here is a sneak peak of falling in love at a coffee shop. the first few rough paragraphs. coming soon! littles will be posted until then ❣️

falling in love at a coffee shop

i. (sneak peak!)

October 13

The cold NYC wind is forgiving for once, all things considered. You had just spent your evening watching over seven sugar high eight-year-olds that had decided finger painting was the ideal after school activity. It was laborious at times and their parents probably weren’t too pleased, but the kids were happy.

Your phone is warm against your cheek as you walk, owing to the Disney Favorites playlist you were asked to play- and Eloise skipping nearly every song that wasn’t sung by Elsa or Moana. Your mother’s words are insistent in your ear: plane tickets, dinners, graduation details.

“It isn’t for another… what? Four months? We’ll figure it out.”

You hear your mother sigh. “I’d rather plan everything out now, the end of the year brings me enough stress as is.”

“It-“

“And what is it with your graduation ceremony being in January? Such an odd time. I mean, right after the holidays? Don’t they realize we might want a bit of a break?”

You laugh lightly at that, eyes spotting the familiar rusting sign hanging up ahead. “Um, has to do with my hours and the kids’ semester ending. I don’t know. Tickets should be cheaper, they usually are after Christmas.”

“Suppose that’s a positive.”

“Definitely a positive- I’ll call you later, I’m grabbing some food so I can hurry up and get home. There's an apron covered with paint in my bag and I’m convinced it’ll stain everything I have inside.”

You begin to unwrap your scarf from your neck as you near closer to the mahogany red door, turning to push it open with your side. “You put an apron covered in paint in your bag?” She sounds incredulous.

“It’s rolled, mom. I’ll call you later.” You repeat.

“Soon.” She says, and you hum before finally ending the call.

A gust of warm air hits the chilled skin of your face when you enter, along with the strong aroma of brewing coffee and a hint of vanilla. You move quickly to close the door behind you, not wanting to disturb anyone with the reality of what they’d have to endure once they leave.

“Welcome in.”

Your eyes follow over to the voice that called out, to catch him take a quick glance at you before turning to meet your eyes again.

He’s not much taller than the familiar college students that work here, but judging from his shoulders, his build is clearly much larger. Atop his wool baby blue sweater is a- definitely used -burgundy apron you’ve seen time and time again. Who you haven’t seen, however, is him.

Once his eyes flicker to the new customer in front of him and back to you, you realize that you’d completely ignored his greeting. And hadn’t moved from the door?

You find yourself sending a clumsy smile before moving across the hardwood floors to stand in line behind the short balding man repeating his order.

Your phone is in your hand a moment later, needing a distraction as to not ogle at the pretty green-eyed barista any longer. Your thumb instinctively lands on Instagram, as much as you wish it hadn’t.

A selfie of an old friend from high school.

A photo of someone’s newborn. The third you’d seen this month.

The conventional food flat lay.

You hear the man in front of you make a second order of two dozen bagels for a big meeting tomorrow morning. “Hoping for a promotion,” he says, a clear smile in his voice. You silently wish him the best. With bagels from Coldwell’s, he was bound to make a good impression.

You’ve been coming here since the beginning of your junior year, finding the cozy café to be a home away from home. You’d discovered it after moving out of your dorm, it was an unmistakable upgrade from the campus coffee shop you were forced to visit every morning.

Thick floor to ceiling windows on one wall, exposed brick and a menu on another; coupled with the bulbous string lights, numerous plants hanging from the ceiling and perched on shelves with the occasional vintage record. 

There were unspoken sections inside; couches and low tables for group study sessions, a line of comfy booths along the back for brunches and dates, a few tables with mismatched wooden chairs for those who’d rather spend some time alone. It was always clean and well kept, and during Christmas, it smelled of nutmeg.

Depending on which barista had their phone connected to the speakers, the shop was either playing Spotify’s Chill Lofi Study Beats or smooth jazz, both welcomed by the regulars that filtered in day-to-day.

You hear the last drop of the bagel slicer when your phone buzzes faintly. Milo: We should go for breakfast one morning. When are you free? :)  That message alone was enough for you to stuff your phone into your bag. Jesus Christ.

You watch the man’s scuffled loafers as he makes his way out, the arm free from two large boxes lifting to wish his barista a good night. Speaking of, he’s got a welcoming grin on his face when you step to the counter. There was no doubt he was recalling your odd entrance.

“Hello.”

His eyes are bright, they remind you of a dewy morning in a garden - and you wish you were in the right state of mind to watch him the way he was watching you. “Hi, um”, your eyes fly up to the menu as if you weren’t sure of exactly what you were getting. “Are you still selling those bottled fruit drinks? I usually get them in the morning.”

“The Pressed ones? Got a few in the back but I’ll grab one for you. What flavor?” You take a second to inwardly scold yourself for focusing too hard on the way he’d flavor, there was no second-guessing on whether he had an accent or not from moments ago.

“Blackberry,” you say, sending a small smile.

He taps at the screen of the POS, his lips tucked into his mouth as you reach into your bag for your wallet.

Not there. No. Not that pocket either.

You frown.

“So, a blackberry Pressed, anything else?”

Your head is nearly inside of your purse as you move your belongings around, cautious of smearing Crayola paint anywhere. “Please, a blueberry um...”, you flip the apron to stick out a bit and allow you more room to see, careful not to squeeze it too hard, “bagel?”

A beat of silence.

“You sure?”

Your head snaps back up to find the barista- Harry, his name tag reads, it suits him -smiling at you, teasing.

You laugh at yourself a bit before buttoning your bag closed. Your wallet was nowhere to be found; which would frighten you if you hadn’t already left it in the classroom twice this week. “Yes-. Yeah, sorry my brain is like, fried from studying.”

“No, yeah totally get it,” he says. Tot-ally.

You find yourself contemplating on whether you should tell him to completely scrap your order or give in and finally figure out how ApplePay works. He scratches at his chin. “Erm.. cream cheese?”

You have some at home. “No, thank you.”

He nods and you take a glance at the tiny hoop earring that catches in the overhead light as he does. You’re just about to resume digging in your bag to check one more time, when he surprises you by saying something that isn’t your total. “What are you majoring in?”

You readjust. “Education. I want to teach 3rd grade.”

“Do you?” His smile is wide and you notice the dimples that sink into his cheeks. Because of course, the guy has dimples.

His genuine happiness takes you by surprise and you laugh. “Yeah, I graduate this year. Well- hopefully. Still have to pass my finals.”

He’s still tapping at the POS- definitely taking much longer than normal, but you don’t mind. Thankfully you had nowhere to be for once.

“M’sure you’ll do great.” You smile, despite the fact that his eyes were still on the screen in front of him. “I um, I graduated just last year,” he looks up to see your eyebrows rise in question. “Film.”

“Film?” you repeat. “I.. Honestly, I can see that.” The earring, the eyes, his style. It made sense.

Tap. Tap. You catch the price going down.

“That because I’m working at a coffee shop?”

“That- What? No, no. I-“

He lets out a boyish giggle and shakes his head. “Only joking. That was a bit of a dig to us film majors, hm?”

“A little. It just makes sense,” you continue. “You look like a film major.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s a compliment,” you say, and his lips twist to fight a smile.

“I’ll take it,” he says, slipping a glove onto his left hand. Your eyes immediately take notice of the cross etched next to his thumb. “Total comes out to $3.21. I’ll go grab your-“

“You didn’t have to do that.” You’ve ordered this countless times, and though Anne let you have your things for free when no one else was around, it’s always come out to $6.78.

Harry only frowns, shaking his head. Don’t worry about it. “I’ll go grab your drink.”

“Sure. Thank you.”

The second he disappeared into the kitchen  you’ve seen so little of, you quickly lift your wrist to try and figure out how this stupid watch worked.

You told yourself to test this out at some point, but you just haven’t had the time. The pad of your figure taps and swipes against the tiny screen, nothing screaming pay with me!

Not that app.

Not that one either.

Had you even set it up?

You hear the door smack lightly against the wall. “Alright here’s- oh,” Harry stumbles upon return, eyebrows drawn together. “Did the card not work? There’s a chip at the bottom-“

“No, I was- I left my wallet at work and I’m trying to..” You point at the card reader. “Does this have Apple Pay?”

His eyes flicker between your watch and the reader before nodding. “Yeah, you’ve just got to..” he leans over the counter a bit and his hand hovers over yours. “May I?”

With confirmation, his nimble fingers press lightly into the inside of your wrist, tilting it toward the reader. His touch is soft- he’s excessively gentle despite only adjusting your hand. He moves his thumb to double click a button on the side of your device, the palm of his hand brushing the side of yours.

The both of you look up at one another, eyes meeting in much closer proximity than any time tonight.

You can’t possibly pick up a guy at a coffee shop. Right?

Ding!

You look down at your wrist that’s still in his hold, your tiny screen now displaying a successful checkmark.

He swiftly pulls his hand away, the gloved one quickly grabbing your bagel as the other grabbed a waxed baggie. “Sorry-“

“No, thank you.” You can’t help but let out a clumsy laugh at the moment the two of you just shared. Silly, you think to yourself.

“To go, yeah?”

“Please.”

He smiles, eyes focused on the screen before the printer hums to life and begins to spit out your receipt.

You watch as he works the bagel slicer and toaster without conscious thought, large hand pulling off his glove before taping the flimsy paper to the front of the bag. He’s sliding your items over to you to grab when you speak once more.

“And thank you again, for the discount.”

He only shakes his head, lips turning down into a funny looking frown. “Don’t worry about it, really. Good luck on finals.”

You smile gratefully, managing to hold your juice and bagel in one hand as you make your way back over to the door. “Thank you! Have a good night.”

“Bye, love you—“ He practically chokes on his own spit, turning quickly to cough steadily into the crook of his elbow.

You were halfway out of the door when you heard him, and now you stare, amused as the cold wind nips at the left side of your face. “Love me?”

“I-“ His nose crinkles, and he coughs one last time. “Sorry, I-“ You watch as he visibly relaxes once his focus is back on you and not on trying to breathe correctly. 

Your head is tilted to the side, an obvious glint in your eye.

He lets out a breathy laugh before trying to continue. “I don’t-” Your eyebrows rise as he stumbles. “- love you. I just- I say it to friends a lot and I guess it… slipped? I don’t know-“

“I’m teasing.” You call out over the wind that blows through as you push the door open wider. You can’t help but laugh to yourself as you move to leave. “Don’t worry. Bye, Harry.”

[mochegato]

Will you Fake Date Me?

A bit of fun for the Jasonette July Fake Dating prompt.  I think this was the first fic I actually completed.

 “Explain this to me again,” Marinette said with slight exasperation as she stirred her coffee. She watched her friend, one of her best friends, run a hand through his hair looking slightly desperate and anxious. The fact that messing up his hair like that just made him even more attractive was utterly not fair.  Wait, she was supposed to be annoyed not turned on. Stop Marinette, focus!

Jason sighed staring down at the coffee in front of him, “I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend for the upcoming Wayne gala.  Bruce is forcing me go and I need some protection.”

“You need my protection?” she asked eyeing him suspiciously.  He nodded, still looking intently at his coffee. “From?”

“Bruce, Alfred, attention seeking harpies looking for a meal ticket,” he listed off gruffly, “Dick.”

“Dick?” She raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“Dick,” he nodded.  “He is positive I need to find a significant other. But, see, here’s the genius of the plan, if I have one already, he’ll stop trying to set me up with every single, roughly our age, mildly-attractive-in-Dick’s-eyes person he sees.”

“Just to be clear, you think pretending you have a girlfriend that Dick didn’t know about will get Dick to pester you less,” she deadpanned.  “I’m still looking for the genius part of this plan.”

Jason opened his mouth then closed it quickly.  She wasn’t wrong, but that wasn’t the point.  Stupid logic. “Come on, don’t make me go to this thing alone.  It’s going to be miserable and boring and annoying and it would be at least tolerable if you were there with me.”

“Wow you are selling it so well.  When you put it that way, how could I resist such an amazing offer?” she scoffed and rolled her eyes taking a sip of her coffee.  “Also, ‘tolerable’?  When did you turn into Damian?”

This wasn’t working.  He needed a different tactic, one he knew worked on her every time, “Please?” he begged asked in a very manly way, giving her the biggest puppy dog eyes he could manage.  

Marinette looked at the puppy dog eyes warily.  She could already feel herself giving in.  Damn beautiful, gorgeous, big blue eyes she could get lost in.  He knew she couldn’t resist his eyes.  She needed to think of something quick or she was going to lose her dignity and pretend to date someone she really did want to date and she was not some fucking fanfic trope, even if it was one of her favorites. One of Jason’s favorites, too, if she remembered correctly.  Even if it would be fun to “have to” spend even more time together, close together, touching and making out endlessly in order to sell the story.  

Wait, she had a point… Right! She was not going to let her real life succumb to her and Jason’s favorite trope…

Jason’s favorite... trope

What. The. Fuck.  That scruffy-looking, fic-loving, nerd-rat!  He was playing her… but only if he liked her.  So… he liked her?  What!?  When did that start!?  Why weren’t they already dating!?  He was sitting there playing games instead of kissing her!  Bastard.  He needed to stop playing games and act.  They could be kissing right now!!

Okay, so maybe he hadn’t asked directly because he was afraid of how she would react.  He wanted to keep their friendship and his dignity intact no matter what.  Aww, that was so adorable.  Still a nerd-rat, but an adorable one.  It was going to take tact and finesse to help keep the fine balance Jason was walking.

“Jason, if you want to ask me out, ask me, you coward.”  Finesse.  To be fair to her efforts... screw the balance.

Jason stared at her mouth agape.  Shit. This was not how this conversation was supposed to go.  She was supposed to agree to go with him to the gala.  He was supposed to show up wearing a dashing tux that would make her blush deep red and render her speechless.  She was supposed to wear a beautiful dress that took his breath away and made his jaw drop, so any dress really, or anything… or nothing.  No wait.  That wasn’t a fantasy he had time to indulge in right now.  If he started down that road…. What was he thinking about before? Oh right.  “What?” He gurgled out.  Eloquent. He knew words.

“We’ve both read enough fake dating fics to know how you think this ends.” She looked at him with narrowed eyes.

Jason considered his options for response and still keep his self-respect.  He was Red Hood.  He took down mob bosses, hell he was one for a long time.  He could handle this little soft-hearted pixie.  Surely.  

His knee-jerk response to any situation was his patented emotional detachment.  He didn’t care, not about this not about her.  But that wouldn’t work with Marinette, especially if he wanted to get a date out of this.  She knew he cared.  Maybe she didn’t know how much he loved CARED! cared about her, but she knew the detachment was a mask.  She’d certainly called him out on it enough.

He could play dumb.  He was good at that.  Damian always leapt at the chance to believe he was an idiot. Mari knew him better though and always trusted his insights into any situation because she trusted that he knew what he was talking about.  She knew he was smarter than he liked people to think.  She treated him like he was brilliant.  Even if it wasn’t the same way Tim or Barbara were, he still had as much to contribute, as much value.  She completely trusted him, even when she shouldn’t, giving him those eyes that melted him into a puddle.  So that was out.

He could try to play her, a corollary of the Play Dumb approach, playing off of her weaknesses; her refusal to back down from a challenge, her anxiety, her willingness to believe the best in everyone, her need to help everyone around her, her soft heart, her creativity, her kindness, her intelligence, her wit, her bravery, her beauty, her… wait… what was… WEAKNESSES!  Right.  He’d already used his puppy dog eyes though.  He could pull them out again and it might work, but...  Fuck it.  The direct approach then.  Just be straight forward with her, sincere.

“What are you talking about?” Sincerity is vastly overrated.

She stared at him, mouth set in a thin line.  He was still playing games.  Fine. He wanted to play games?  She could play, too.  And just like every game she played with him, she would destroy him.

“I don't know... I’m thinking about becoming a roommate with Roy and…” she gasped placing her hands on her cheeks, eyes and mouth wide open in shock. “…there might only be one bed,”

“The fuck you are,” Jason growled out under his breath before he could stop himself.  He noticed the victorious grin and light blush that appeared on Marinette’s face at his outburst before she schooled her face again.  He narrowed her eyes back at her.  She was playing with him.  She wasn’t walking away and she wasn’t saying ‘no’.  That meant… she was interested too, right?  She was interested and flirting with him.  A small smirk spread across his face before he schooled his expression as well.  Flirting he could do. “You better be careful or you might make me into an enemy, then when I get hurt I’ll have to come to you for comfort.”

Marinette drew in a breath “enemies to lovers, 10,000 word slow burn” she whispered in mock scandal nodding her head.

He chuckled at her and looked back into her eyes, “you didn’t say no, you know”.

“No” she said leaning back.

He stared at her for a second, his heart stumbling.  Had he read this wrong?

“I will not fake date you.  If you want a date, you can ask for one.”  

She started to get up but Jason grabbed her hand gently “Will you go on a date with me, secret princess Marinette?”  He said looking at her with soft eyes, smiling at her as a shy smile spread across her face.

“Yes, of course I will. I could never deny my soulmate.” She smiled wider.  “But…” She paused hesitantly.  

“But?” He asked nerves suddenly surfacing.

“But, where will we go? We’re already in a coffee shop…” she threw him a devastatingly wicked smile.

He groaned.  This was his life now.  He was never going to live this down.  

 Bonus:

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” He held her hand as they walked out of the coffee shop, reveling in finally being able to touch her for more than a few seconds at a time.  He could feel her warm skin whenever he wanted.

“One thing though,” she started as they left the coffee shop.

He groaned again and threw his head back in mock exasperation, “Oh God, what?  You worried about your found family?”

“Oooo, that’s a good one, but no.  I was thinking,” she said suddenly a bit bashful, “that we don’t want anyone to suspect that we are just pretending to be dating, right?”

He eyed her suspiciously, “Right… because we’re not.”

“Right, but we don’t want Dick to keep pushing, so we want to make sure we look completely comfortable with each other, right?”

A happy grin spread across his face as he caught onto where she was going with this, “right, so we should maybe practice.  Things like being close to each other, holding hands, hugging, touching, kissing…”

“Exactly,” she nodded, looking up at him through her eyelashes.  “Just to make sure we completely convince Dick we are completely in love… so there’s no question.”

His hands cupped her cheeks as he stared into her eyes, “and I am” he whispered, lowering his head down to gently touch his lips to hers.

 Slightly dirtier bonus:

“Oh God,” he said with sudden realization breaking the kiss.

“What?” Marinette asked concern edging into her expression.

“Am I the Alpha or the Omega in this relationship?”

She let out a loud laugh, wound her arms around his neck, and pulled him down for another more searing kiss. “Who said you had to choose?  We can always switch.”

  Thanks to @gajer-1226 for helping me figure out who share the one bed with.

And thanks to siderealSandman for teaching me what “switch” means.

Tag:

@fsketchart  @jasonette-july-2k20

[realcube]

BNHA shopping headcanons pt.2

part 1 here! (momo x reader, todoroki x reader, iida x reader)

Uraraka x Reader

Bakugo x Reader

Kaminari x Reader

tw// cussing, irresponsible moeny-spending 😳

Ochako Uraraka

if you have ever watched mha you should know that Uraraka is  canonically dirt poor

well maybe not dirt poor as from what i know, she isn’t homeless but..

it’d be a fair assumption that she is an extreme cheapskate

she really is that bitch at the cinema who deadass walks in lookin built like manatee from the neck down but her skinny face really doesn’t sell the act

and she smells like off-brand skittles and soda from a mile away but box office clerk pretends not to see shit because they are too underpaid to deal with an determined, skint bubble girl first thing in the morning

oh and did i mention she exclusively takes you to early bird specials for the huge discount

so, needless to say, when you want Uraraka to come see a movie with you in the afternoon, you have to pay for her ticket

now, with that in mind, why would she ever want to go shopping as a date? shopping!

the whole premise of ‘shopping’ is spending money - something she is very much against

so, obviously you thought it was a prank when she texted you to ask you on a date to the local mall

none the less, on the day you showed up - with a pocket knife in your purse, just in case - and to your pleasant surprise, Ochako was standing there outside your favourite jewellery shop with a cheesy grin on her face

“(Y/N)!” She called out, skipping up to you and throwing herself into your arms. “Guess what?!”

You giggled, delighted to see her so happy but confused as to why - as usually she gets upset when she is surrounded by so many expensive things. “What, bubbles?”

She pulled out from the hug to reach into her pocket, grab her hand-me-down wallet from her dad and unzip it to show you the many notes she had cramped inside there. “Look! Remember when I told you I couldn’t come on dates on weekends with you anymore because workloads at the UA were increasing? Well, truth is, I couldn’t see you because I’ve been holding down a secret job at a dessert place for the last few months - and look! I’m rich!”

You felt your cheeks heat up and your eyes become glossy for some reason, it just made you emotional seeing Uraraka so happy and excited, despite the fact you noticed that the money in the purse was definitely no more than ¥5500/£40/$53 - so either she had already started spending or she had been severely underpaid for 4 months of work.

“Ochako..” You croaked, sticking out your bottom lip and doing nothing to resist the tears that came rushing down your cheeks. “I’m so proud of you.”

Uraraka shook her head rapidly, “No!” She whined, shielding her eyes with her wallet, “Please don’t cry, (Y/N)! Then I’ll start crying too!”

You nodded, wiping away your tears with your thumb, “Okay, bubbles.” You mumbled, feeling the spark of emotion inside you die down, “So, where shall we go first?”

“Um..” Uraraka hummed in thought before pointing to your favourite jewellery shop which stood behind her, “There! I’m gonna buy you a necklace; to make up for last year when you got a me a really pretty bracelet for valentines’ day and all I could afford to get you was a candy necklace.” She mumbled the last part before taking your hand and dragging you into the shop.

She didn’t even spare a second so you weren’t able to explain to her how you actually really liked the candy necklace - it was delicious! 

Also, while she shifted through all the pretty necklaces looking for one that would ‘compliment your gorgeous eyes’, you realised something - she definitely wasn’t built to be poor.

I mean, yeah, she is very stingy when it comes to shopping for herself

but when it came to buying you a necklace, she was ready to take a mortgage if it meant you’d be satisfied with your gift

or maybe you could call that reckless spending-]

Katsuki Bakugo

when y’all go on dates it’s usually to one of your houses or maybe an abandoned park or something

but because you said you had a way better aim than him - he challenged you to a game of laser tag! and since it was just you and him, he said you could consider it a date

however, when you both arrived at the laser tag arena, it was closed 

neither of y’all checked the opening times on the website so how were you supposed to know that it was closed on Mondays?

after a long while of bickering between the two of you, y’all just decided to spend the rest of the day at the mall next door

and when i tell you bakugo should be on bargain fkn hunters

he is also very clueless when it comes to giving gifts so he takes this as an opportunity to figure out what you want for your birthday/valentine’s time

you show him a crop top you think is cute and he is like ‘i literally do not give a fuck’

he says he is just following you around the shop bc he doesn’t want you to get kidnapped 

but in reality, you see him out of the corner of your eye typing in his notes app ‘black crop top’ as soon as you turn away to hang it back up on the rack

he refuses to shop for himself because ‘all the shit in these shops are ugly and overpriced’ 

as if that is a good enough excuse to hide the real reason why he won’t look for clothes in these shops; which is that he exclusively shops in Hot Topic and ASOS

he gets butterflies whenever you show him any article of clothing and say it’d look good on him, despite the fact his response it usually something along the lines of 

‘fuck off, that shirt is so ugly! why would i want to wear that?!’ or

‘of course i’d look hot in that - its a fucking tank top! don’t be stupid, (Y/N).’

and mentally he does the same for you whenever he sees a cute shirt or a cool pair of shoes but he stays silent, wanting to keep up his ‘i don’t give a fuck’ façade.

in fact, the whole time y’all were shopping the only thing he recommended to you was a revealing piece of lingerie that a mannequin was displaying in the window of a Victoria’s Secret 

“hey, that’d look good on you, (Y/N)!” he chuckled, pointing at the set from across the hall

you rolled your eyes, punching his shoulder without missing a beat, “Of course i’d look good in that - it’s fucking lingerie! don’t be stupid, bakugo.”

“HEY YOU CAN’T USE MY OWN LINE AGAINST ME!”

Denki Kaminari 

y’all hang out at the mall quite a lot but mostly for the food court

by now y’all have probably eaten at every single chain in that bitch at least twice so obviously you go there quite a lot

after you eat, y’all stroll through the mall window-shopping since you probably spend all your money on food 

however, after Kaminari’s birthday he was pretty loaded so he was finally able to walk around the mall and actually buy something other than food! crazy, i know. 

you both were so hyped to buy shit - you forgot how to act

anyway, kaminari hadn’t decided what he was going to spend his ¥7000/£50/$66 on

‘clothes?’ you suggested

‘what’s wrong with my clothes?’ he replied defensively.

‘body spray?’

‘are you saying i stink?’

‘hair product?’

‘i have more than enough, heh.’

‘phone case?’

‘i have one..’

‘toiletries?’

‘that’s a funny word-WAIT!’ he yelled, shock running through his body as the ‘best idea of all ideas’ dawned on him. ‘wait here, (Y/N). I’ll be right back.’ 

with that Denki ran off, leaving you outside Sephora with no money 

It took him a while to come back but once he did, a foolishly wide grin painted his features, “(Y/N)! Look!” He yelled, motioning to his huge white bag.

He opened it to show you what was inside, “A yellow blanket?” You asked, cocking your head to the side.

“Yes! It’s 5x5 feet because you said the blanket home that we cuddle in is too small.” 

You blushed, rubbing the back of your neck, feeling kind of bad that Denki spent him birthday money to make you happy. “Oh, well, I didn’t mean that-” 

“And feel it! It’s so fluffy and soft!” 

You nodded, reaching down and stroking the blanket, “Oh my-” 

“It feels like heaven!” he finished your sentence

[akillysheel]

TENUOUS. ❜ ( 2 )

Summary:  Kuro asks the important questions before he and Cthugha decide on a starting point for their investigation. Warnings:  N/A. Notes:  N/A

    'I need to think about it.'

    Kuro slouched in his armchair, the events of the morning playing on loop in his head.  After Cthugha's untimely arrival, the Sheriff had taken it upon himself to take the rest of the afternoon off in an attempt to compartmentalise his thoughts.  He seldom ever took breaks, but when he'd emerged from his office as white as a sheet, his colleagues had ultimately pulled the plug on his hopes of remaining at work, advising insistently that he should go home.

    'Fine.  But you just remember, every minute you sit around ruminating about your stupid little life, that's another minute that this girl is missing, and that means it's another minute closer to doomsday too.'

    Could it be true?  Doomsday?  The end of the world?  It sounded to him like the paranoid ravings of a conspiracy nut...  yet he'd spoken with such calm authority, countered every one of the problems he'd had with a rebuttal of his own.  Every one of his questions had an answer;  everything he'd said about Raku  ( at least as far as his limited understanding of Gods was concerned ) was true.

    Mia Vanton's case sat on his lap.  It was a thin file, one that spared details for there hadn't been many to uncover, but in that moment it felt heavy.  Cumbersome.  As if he'd been shackled to the floorboards.

    This thing's been shut since 2001.

    One calloused thumb traced over its front, teasing the corner away from the papers inside.  He really didn't know whether he wanted to look at it or not.  It felt oddly like picking at a scab wound, baring himself to old pain that needn't be revisited.  Did he have it in him to feel as hopeless as he did twenty years ago?

    He grunted as a headache set in. It had steadily been growing for the past two hours, fostered in his brain like a bad habit.

    Is there any point in opening this up again?  Surely if she was to be found, she'd have been found by now.  This year marks the twentieth anniversary of her disappearance.  In two weeks, in fact.

    Was that relevant?  He couldn't help but consider it.  As much as he wanted to push Cthugha's prophecy aside as garbage, the fact was that he was impressed  -  and a little worried.  He knew things that nobody could have known, and deep down he knew that his colleagues wouldn't sell some random kid information.  Huron's task force was known for being small, humble and honest, and it's good service had been a near constant hallmark for the district's deep sense of peace.  There had never been a recorded incidence of internal corruption--  not even with other, less composed Sheriffs in the front seat.

    How else could he have known about Olivia?  About Raku, even.

    The Sheriff let out a deep sigh as he closed his eyes, knowing already what he had to do.

    “I’ve decided t’help y’.”

    “Thank.  God.”   The statement trembled with sarcastic frustration, Cthugha’s cobalt eyes all but grey on account of the storm that had entered them.  He sat in Kuro’s chair, his feet propped up on his desk.  The rubix cube--  the one that had previously been half-completed--  sat in his hands, its coloured faces now perfectly arranged.   “While you were busy jerking off to the end of all life in this realm, I was busy compiling resources that might help us stop it.”   He paused to reach inside of his jacket, retrieving a file of his own, before he dropped it unceremoniously on the desk.   “You’re welcome.”

    “Where were y’keepin’ that…?”

    “Just look at it.”

    Kuro hesitated briefly before dragging the file closer, opening it up to find himself staring at a myriad of newspaper clippings, interview transcripts and photographs.  It was makeshift work, by no means tidy, but the sheer wealth of information was staggering to him.  Even so, as he skimmed over them briefly, he realised that there was nothing there that he didn’t already know.

    Of course there isn’t.  Why would there be?

    I don’t know.  Maybe I assumed he was an agent of God or something.

    “Aside from all that,”   Cthugha started, rising from his commandeered seat.  In what felt like a flash, he’d moved from the desk to the far corner of the room, grabbing a hold of a whiteboard on wheels before reappearing where he had been.  Kuro blinked hard.   “We can rule out all the places you already searched in your previous hunt for her.”   Feverishly, the rifter began to fill the board with haphazard notes.   “That means you don’t have to trawl through Whit’s a second time, nor do you need to bother checking their home or questioning her papa.  He came up clean, remember?”

    “Yeah…  he was so dedicated t’findin’ his daughter that he all but singlehandedly led the search party campaign despite us tellin’ him that it was dangerous.  Had t’bust him outta a few compromisin’ positions fer his efforts...”

    “Exactly.  Also means that the tunnels are a bust too, so you don’t have to waste time trawling through the underground like a family of sewer rats.  Wherever she is, she’s somewhere ya didn’t think to comb through.”   He paused when he found his whiteboard pen beginning to run dry.   “Damn it--”   Much like before, he flickered away, a brief rummaging sound filling the quiet office before he reappeared before the board.   “Okay, so--  here’re all the places you don’t gotta worry about that I can think of off the top of my head.  There’s…  what?  Why’re ya staring at me like that?”

    “How’re y’doin’ that?”

    “You can write too, Kuro.”

    “I mean the…  disappearin’-’n’-reappearin’ thing.  Obviously.”

    “Oh, that.  Yeah, I guess that makes more sense…”   It was the closest to sheepish that he’d seen Cthugha thus far;  a break from his smug attitude was certainly refreshing.   “It’s just a teleportation shtick.  Think of it like…  instead of macro-leaps, I’m performing micro-hops in time.”

     "Huh,"   said Kuro, deciding not to question it.

     In truth, the more they talked about the Vanton case, the more he began to recall.  Kuro seldom ever forgot a victim - even though he'd been the Sheriff of Huron for over three centuries, and a police officer for even longer than that - but he wouldn't say that the details were as long-lasting.  There were simply too many nuances in too many cases--  too much information for him to store everything tightly away.  His brief read over the case file before he'd come back to the office that following morning hadn't helped much either, if only because there hadn't been much for him to garner in the first place.

    "I do have a question though,"   Kuro spoke up as he handed Cthugha a cup of coffee.  He wasn't sure whether he was trying to placate or subdue him.   "... or a couple."

    "Are they constructive?"

    "Maybe.  I mean--  y'mentioned parallel timelines 'n' shit.  Couldn't y'just…  hop into one where I found her 'n' tell me where she is?"

    "Parallel timelines are born out of choices, dummy.  Unless you're admitting that you purposefully didn't find her, that isn't gonna help at all."   A swig of his drink was taken, the rich flavour seeming to soothe his annoyance somewhat.   "Nah.  You're thinking of alternate timelines."

    "Then what about that?"

    "We're not really supposed to dip into those if we can help it.  Definitely a last resort sort of deal.  It creates the possibility for people to run into themselves;  fractures the separation between realities.  Doppelganger action is a one-way ticket to hell for the Universe.  Also the fact that, like parallel timelines, there are MULTITUDES of alternate timelines where everything's the same except one little thing, meaning it'd take a shit-ton of time to comb through 'em all--  most likely more time than we’ve got.  There're several versions of you out there, Kuro, but you're this one.  You should focus on that."

     "This's all real confusin’…"   the Sheriff mumbled, deflating a little.  He was so sure he'd had a good idea under his belt, but hell, what did he really know about the way that reality worked?

    "Mm.  Anything else?"   Cthugha asked tersely, eager to move on.

    "Just one more thing,"   Kuro affirmed, shifting in his place for a moment before deciding that brevity was more favourable than kindness.   "... how does this girl stayin' missin' end the world?  People go missin' all the time.  Some come home, some're found dead.  Some’re never found, yet the world keeps on spinnin’.  's just a cruel fact’a life."

    For the first time since their meeting, Cthugha fell silent.  A harrowing emptiness entered his eyes as he thought about the bleak future that awaited them if they did nothing.  A hazy field of fire, the once clean air ashen and thick.  The destruction spread like cancer, first exploding in Huron before it gradually spread outward.  What was perhaps even more frightening was that the one responsible for it seemed impervious to the herculean effort required to topple a district;  by the time he was done with Huron, he was already looking for a bigger, more developed fish to fry.

    It wasn’t the first time he’d seen the Universe in ruins by far, and he doubted it’d be the last.

    That didn’t mean he was accustomed to seeing it though.

    “Well,”   he said softly, whiteboard pen twirled absentmindedly in between his fingers.   “... let’s just say, grief does things to people.  Do you have any clue who Mia’s father is?”

    Slowly, Kuro squinted.    “Aside from knowin’ his name ‘n’ his daughter’s case?  No.  Should I?”

    “No.  That’s exactly why ya should be worried:  he’s got nothing left to lose.  Do you think he’s going to care about hurting anyone when he’s hurting this much himself?  He’s got no children to provide for;  no public image to protect.  When he loses his mind, he does it for real, and damned’re the consequences, get it?”

    “Got it…”   Kuro muttered.  He knew all too well about people like Mr.Vanton.  While an anonymous existence was ultimately a peaceful one, when crime was brought into the mix, it became a dangerous shield.  Who suspected the nobody?  Nobody, that’s who.   “Then we gotta get movin’.”

    “I have to ask,”   Cthugha started as he stepped towards the chair he’d been sprawled in, reaching for his jacket and shrugging it on.  Now that he had a little time to look over him properly, Kuro noted its strange cyan decals and the symbol that he’d never seen before adorning the right side;  two parallel lines with a small triangle beneath the centre point of the bottom one.  It looked vaguely like a seesaw with two slats on top instead of one.  "What made you change your mind?"

    “Well, I guess I never got over the fact that I couldn’t solve it.  D’y’have any idea how hard it is t’look a parent in the eye ‘n’ tell ‘em that the search fer their child is over?  There was nothin’ else I could do, but I still felt guilty.  I figure, even if yer full’a shit ‘n’ this really is some heartless stunt all fer yer own amusement, I can at least make sure that there really was nothin’ else I could’a done fer the Vantons.”

    The rifter hummed softly as he adjusted his tie.   “Heh.  Ya really are a good person.”

    “Y’had doubt?”

    “Who doesn’t?  Much easier to expose a bad person who’s pretending to be good than to find an actual good person these days.  I guess it’s just an unfortunate byproduct of evolution.”

    “Yer wrong,”   Kuro said firmly, pulling his black coat closed.  The gun at his hip was touched briefly before he pocketed his hand, satisfied that he had everything he needed.   “There’re a lot more good people in the world than bad.  ’s just that the bad leave behind their messes t’clean up.”

    “Well, whatever the truth is, it’s clear we’re dealing with a bad person here, huh?  So, got any bright ideas?”

    Already were the gears in his head turning.  With the compiled notes to aid him, he knew of the place that he wanted to start with.  It may have been a dead end--  wishful thinking more than anything--  but he wouldn’t be able to progress until he knew he’d upturned every stone on this property.   “We should head t’the Valerie Vineyard first.”

[manychocolatefactories]

CatCF Ruby Chocolate: Part 1, Kids and characters

This version is the last of the "four main versions". It is named after the new, fourth type of chocolate discovered in 2004 but only publically released in 2017. It is a modern version, supposed to take place in the 2010s. In this version, there are six Golden Tickets released in the world.

First Winner: Augustus Gloop

(Based on: Augustus Gloop)

This version of Augustus was inspired by the 2013 musical, more specifically by the idea of a cute little boy that eats "pigs limbs from limbs", and also swallows whole little dogs. So, something quite dark.

Augustus has a very cute face. A chubby, angelic face, like the puttis of the Renaissance paintings: blond curls, puppy eyes, a radiant smile. If he wants, he can make your heart melt like the video of a little kitten purring.

But Augustus is hungry. All of the time. He eats and snacks all day long. He dreams of food. He sleep-walks to eat. And while he adores candies and chocolate, there is one thing he loves more than anything else: meat. Meat and blood. He is a true carnivore, for him every meal rhymes with "meat". And if you leave him unattended, he will try to get meat by himself. For exemple, by attacking a living pig and devouring it on the spot. Or by biting off the fingers of a plump woman. But, of course, all of that with a cute smile and while saying sorry in the most adorable way.

Nowadays, if your cute you must be innocent, and thus forgien.

Augustus' body is not as cute as his face. It is said to be a "bloated mass of pink flesh", actually very similar to the body of a pig. His fatness is described as "ill-fitting", as if it was "forced" onto his body. His overweightness is not natural. It is puffy, flabby, bloated, but doesn't feel "natural".

Augustus also always wear ill-fitting clothes and suits.

Mrs. Gloop is a tiny woman, usually wearing a pale pink skirt suit, with her hair arranged in a crown of braids. She might be tiny, but she is bold, energetic, and speaks both clearly and loudly. She has so much presence, she often intimidates people. She keeps reminding others of how cute her son, and how eating makes him grow strong. She insists that she is a good mother who makes sure her son eats of everything (to have a balanced diet), eats well (by giving him only the finest and best-quality products (such as the Wonka bars and not their cheap rivals knock-offs), and of course, she only feeds her son because he "needs nourishment".

And don't dare criticize her, or she will scream so much, so hard and so high your ears will bleed. Just like the "original" Mrs. Gloop, this one keeps pointing out the "hooligans", saying it is better to stay at home eating food than being a violent thug on the street. My iteration sincerely believes that violence and criminality is due to poverty, hunger and lack of food, and if everyone was well-fed the world ould be at peace.

(For her, think of Mrs. Gloop the original, mixed with Bernadette from the Big Bang Theory )

Mr. Gloop (full name, Gordon Gloop, parody of Gordon Ramsey) is the son of a butcher, and the grandson of a slaughterhouse worker. He was always knee-deep in blood, and as a result grew accustomed to killing animals and cooking them (in fact the sight of blood makes him peckish). He is a tall and strong man, but suffers from a bad sleep due to his wife's horribly loud snoring.

He tried to teach his son the refinment of haute cuisine, for Mr. Gloop is a world-renowned cook, but to his disappointment Augustus only cares for raw meat and drinking blood-dipped candies. Mr. Gloop is so obsessed with having good dishes and best-quality ingredients, he keeps at the back of his house a little barnyard full of cattle (if he ever has to serve some steak or ribs to his guests). Trouble is, Augustus keeps sneaking into said barnyard to devour the poor animals.

Second Winner: Elvira Entwhistle

(Based on: Veruca Salt)

Veruca Salt being a pretty solid and complete archetype in herself (the girl who wants it all and has her parents buy her all), it is quite hard to reimagine her. So, I tried thinking about "why" she wants things - given the actions are settled and confirmed, it is the goals that are important, the motivation. And , in our time of modernity, what makes people want things? Trends, fashions, what is "in".

This reinterpretation of Veruca, named Elvira Entwhistle (after one of the old drafts names), is a mix between Chanel Oberlin from Scream Queens and Esmé Squalor from a Series of Unfortunate Events. She is a girl living for trends, for fashions, buying and acquiring all of the latest things "in", only to discard them as soon as they are "out" or not trendy anymore. Spending her time on social media, following models and influencers, she keeps going to luxury shops with her "personal assistant" (a nice name for what is a modern slave) to buy accessories, jewels, clothes, pets and whatever corresponds to the current trend.

Spoiled, impatient, self-centered and short-tempered, she needs to have the latest fashion NOW or she will get insanely angry. She also doesn't hesitate to change her personal appearance to fit all the new trends (for exemple her hair changes color and shape every week). Of course, she got her Golden Ticket because it was the current trend. Everyone was searching for it, so she had to get a Ticket to be the most "in" person around.

 Third Winner: Mike Teavee

(Based on: Mike Teavee)

For this version of Mike Teavee, I wanted to get away from the usual hyperactive and hyper-violent kid. I wanted to take back this common idea that television makes you stupid and sluggish, by making Mike the perfect embodiment of a couch potato (even though he was designed to look at the same time like a mushroom and a zombie).

Mr. and Mrs. Teavee are hard-working people, who spend their entire week working and only come back at home for very brief periods of times (usually in the week-end) before going right back at work. As a result, Mike barely knows his parents. He doesn't even know what kind of work they do. To "babysit" their son, the Teavees bought an enormous, high-definition television with a 666 channels pack, and kept telling him to not go outside due to the outside world being "dangerous" and filled with crushing bikes, killing cars, kidnappers and the like. This is how Mike began his life as a shut-in.

Spending his days looking at the television, never going outside, he ended up closing all shutters because light bothered him. Living in the dark, barely lifting his body from the couch, he only survives on candies, snacks, television-plates and microwaved/defrosted food (and the Teavee family can afford to buy a lot of it, because they are really, really rich - Mike has accounts in three different banks).

The result? A chalk-white boy. A bloated ans shapeless body. A full-moon face covered in craters and scars due to a bad case of acne. Two dead, sunken, small eyes. Speakin slowly, and often pronouncing only half of the words, Mike refuses to answer or talk to anyone while television is on : he only speaks during "uninteresting advertisements". The only thing muscular in his body are his fingers, that got a lot of muscle mass due to twitching frenetically all day long on the remote to channel-hop.

Mike is actually a very intelligent boy, but all his cleverness and intellectual gifts are buried and wasted by the brain-washing of his shut-in life and his television obsession. He got his Golden Ticket because his parents often buy him Wonka bars as "television snacks". Even though, in his own words, he prefers food that "tastes like plastic".

Fourth Winner: Violet Beauregarde

(Based on: Volet Beauregarde)

What is Violet, originally? She is a girl that seeks fame and attention, that is snarky, that is nasty towards people, and that does stupid records. What reflects that perfectly in our day and age? Reality television shows!

Violet Beauregarde was strongly inspired by the most brainless and "sassy/nasty" stars of reality television and the Internet. She is a teenage girl wearing clothes of such bright, flashy and clashing colors it often hurts people's eyes. Her face is covered in makeup, her hair is covered in extensions and her hands are covered with fake fingernails.

She thinks she can be as rude and horrible as she wants, as long as she calls it "sassy". But on the other side, she considers "rude" anyone or anything that doesn't please her, or that is too "ugly" or "dirty" for her. She is the kind of girl that keeps screaming loudly "YAAAAAAASSS, bitches!" and "DAAAMMMNNNN", that calls herself "the queen", that chews ferociously on her gum all day long, and that says "Why are you touching me? See, you're touching me again!" while she is the one hitting people. She hates everything "old" and "boring". She keeps publishing musical albums that nobody actually buys, because she sings badly mere words (her singles being titled "Lalalala" and "Heyheyheyhey" - she never understood a song needed to have lyrics). Finally, her biggest dream is to be part of a TV-reality show.

Her father, Mr. Beauregarde, feeds his daughter's "bitchy diva" attitude and her delusions of grandeur by acting as his agent (just like in the 2013 musical). He is also the "ringleader" of Violet's circus (because Violet, with her clothes of ridiculous colors, and her enormous amount of makeup, has a clown subtext). As a result, Mr. Beauregarde is like a ringleader in acircus, a showrunner in a freak show, and also an agent. He "sells" his daughter, he organizes her interviews, he has people pay money for "extra time" with Violet, he shows her around, and finally he uses his whip (yes, he has a whip) to attack all those that try to "touch the product".

He is a short, flabby and balding man, that smokes very long and thick cigars, wears enormous rings and clothes that are garrish and clownish - his over-the-top and ridiculous fashion sense is clearly a compensation for what he lacks in height, hair and health.

 Fifth Winner: Marvin Prune

(Based on: Marvin Prune)

In the original drafts of Roald Dahl, Marvin Prune was a Mr. Know-it-All, a too-perfect schoolboy obsessed with studies, an arrogant bookworm, a haughty teacher's pet, you named it. In this version, i decided to keep the idea of Marvin being a "know-it-all", but instead of using school, books and the like, he rather uses modern technology and the Internet.

Marvin is a tech-obsessed boy. He lives for, with and through technology, to the point of neglecting to live in the real world. He thinks his over-use of technology, and all the knowledge it can provide him, make him an "intelligent" and "superior" boy (when in fact it does not).

He thinks he can claim to have been everywhere in the world because he visited virtually all the most important landmarks of the world. He claims he can speak all the languages in the world, but in fact he uses translation websites. He keeps tracks of all his bodily functions thanks to health monitors (heartbeats, blood pressure, cholesterole...) but not because he is concerned for his health, merely for the sake of knowing more things. For him, Googling something is the best solution to all your troubles, and as a result he is a self-centered and pompous boy.  

Due to his technology dependance, Marvin is actually quite a weak boy. Since he doesn't do any sport or physical activity, and since he rarely leaves his house (due to always ordering things online, having classes online and visiting places virtually), he is a quite thin and frail boy, if not emaciated - at least, a good chunk of his muscle mass has melted away.

The original parents of Marvin Prune were, in Dahl's works, teachers and school principals. I decided here to go with the opposite of a teacher : Mrs. Prune never does anything herself, and always blame it on others. There are problems in the world? For her people should fix it, but they are too lazy to do it - while she herself does nothing about it. Her son acts rude? "Someone should teach him good manners" she says. She loses all of her money? "That's because the people in charge of the economy are all incompetent!"

Mrs. Prune thinks of everything and everyone as stupid because it allows her to blame all of her problems and flaws on other people. But ultimately she never takes any kind of action herself. If someone should teach her son good manners, it is "those lazy teachers at school", certainly not her! She also dislikes things that are "foreign".

Marvin found the Golden Ticket when he ordered by mistake a chocolate bar in France : in truth, he wanted to buy a "tablet" (in French a tablet is tablette, and a chocolate bar is also a tablette de chocolat).

Marvin will also be incredibly frustrated inside Wonka's factory, because in there numeric devices mess up, stop weirdly or disfunction totally (the same way UFOs tend to mess up phones, radios, computers and the like). As a result, he becomes powerless and helpless.

 Sixth Winner: Charlie Bucket

(Based on: Charkie Bucket)

Here, I decided to really twist things up. To have a Charlie Bucket that isn't thin or malnourished, but fat! Yes, here's Chubby Charlie! (No, not Fat Charlie, this one is copyrighted)

Charlie's story is deeply linked to the story of the Wonka factory. The town Charlie lives in was built around the Wonka Factory a bit before the 20th century - it was a "worker town", created to allow the workers of the factory to live with their family next to their place of work. For more than fifty years the Factory was the only occupation and work of the town. But somewhere in the 1950s or 1960s, all the workers had to take an early retirement. They were kicked out, and the Factory closed to the public. The Factory was still working, but not hiring anyone anymore. This was an enormous blow to both the town's economy and moral. There was an economic crisis and poverty (since people were trained only to work in a candy factory).

But there was one good thing: since it was the town Wonka's products were created in, they were sold at must cheaper prices than anywhere else in the world, and all the ex-workers of the Factory got in exchange for their work coupons and reductions for themselves and all of their families - reductions on the Wonka products, of course. This was seen as a chance, because the Wonka products were world-renowned candies, even luxury goods in foreign countries. It was like being able to buy haute-couture as daily clothes and eat gastronomic cuisine every week-end.

But this good wasn't so "good". Indeed, given the poverty and lack of job in town, the ex-workers and their family relied more and more on the coupons and reductions, their diets filled with candy and sugary products. As a result, from the 1970s to the 2010s, the number of people suffering from obesity, diabetes and teeth problems blew up.

[ This background is actually a mix of two different real-world fact. Real-world fact 1: the Menier Chocolate Factory in France, aka the real-life Wonka Factory, was revolutionary for creating a town for its workers, and taking care of their health, education and the like, but closed after World War II, to the deception of everyone. Real-world fact 2: Coca-Cola, Nestlé and other big food industries tend to pay their employees with extra-sugary and extra-addictive if their own products in poor areas, such as South America - resulting in sicknesses and diseases.]

As a result, in this version Charlie is fat. Because in modern days, and in developped countries, poverty and malnourishment actually leads to obesity and diabetes, due to the cheapest food being candies and junk-food.

This version of Charlie is a very nice kid, but a kid addicted to the Wonka products. He grew up on the coupons, due to his family all being ex-workers. Grandpa Joe and Grandpa George both worked at the factory, but were too old or sick after being fired to find a new job ; Mr. and Mrs. Bucket had been trained for the factory and could barely afford new studies after its closing. Mr. Bucket became a street cleaner, while Mrs. Bucket became a receptionist and secretary for a dental office (due to the rise of tooth diseases, dental offices boomed in town, but most are actually crooked or scams).

Charlie grew up in a very humble home, with two parents working really hard to have enough money to buy food for everyone. Of course, fresh or good food is too expensive. Charlie tries to help his family the best way he can with his part-time job (making people fill surveys) and by working really hard at school. But as the years go by, his weight and his health are beginning to cause problems. Due to not having any money he can't do sports, wich makes him gain weight, and the fattest he is the hardest it is to do sport, it's a vicious circle. Every year, the scale reveals he puts on more and more weight, and faster and faster - if he doesn't do something quick, he may end up obese.

And, as I mentionned before, Charlie is truly obsessed with the Wonka products, it is an addiction. He dreams of them at night. He sticks Wonka bars wrappers on the wall of his room like posters. He drools at the mere mention of a Wonka bar. He isn't spoiled, cruel or nasty, but he is too addicted for his own good. In fact, when he finds money in the stret and buy chocolate bars with it, it is a pure act of selfishness, because he doesn't have the willpower to turn away from the candy shop and go back home.

[thebrotherssalvatore321]

Keeping Secrets Ch. 13

Keeping Secrets Masterlist

Pairing: Currently TylerxOc, but eventuall Damonxoc, Elijahxoc, then Klausxoc endgame.

For the next week Katie and Tyler hung out at the grill and went on a couple dates. She was working the bar even though she wasn’t supposed to be when Tyler came in and set down. “Hey.” He said as he leaned across the bar and she kissed him.

“Hey.” She smiled back then started washing some glasses.

“Are you working tonight?” he asked and she shook her head as she hummed a negative answer. “Wanna go to the bachelor raffle with me?”

“What?” Katie laughed. “I thought you hated those stupid events.”

“I do, but my mom is making me go and it will be a lot more tolerable if you’re with me.” He said and she hesitantly looked him in the eyes. “Look, I know you don’t like my mom, but-”

“I’m pretty sure it’s her that doesn’t like me and I really wish she did because then I’d have at least half a chance being picked for Miss Mystic.” She said interrupted.

“You seriously signed up for that?” he asked.

“The winner gets a scholarship.” She shrugged not liking that she was going to have to suck up to people and flounce around in a pretty dress to get a scholarship, but she was desperate.

“So was that a yes?” he asked getting back to his original question.

“That was an I’ll think about it.” she answered.

He rolled his eyes at her. “Come on, you and my mom will have to see each other at some point.”

“I’ll think about it.” she told him again not letting him push her into something she didn’t want to do.

“Okay fine. Just text me and let me know what you decide.” He told her then walked over to the pool table and started playing pool with Matt.

TVDTVDTVD

When she pulled up in front of the boarding house she saw Elena’s car in the driveway. So she headed inside intending to find her and Stefan in his room and ask them for advice on what she should do about Tyler’s mom. “Knock, knock.” Katie called as she came up the stairs and into Stefan’s room. Instead she found Elena buttoning up Damon’s shirt. When he turned around she could tell that he was drunk as a skunk. “You’re not Stefan.” she drawled coming to a stop.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Elena asked as she walked around Damon to Katie.

“I live here, remember?” Katie reminded her.

“No, here as in Stefan’s room.” she asked, her tone verging on snotty.

“I saw your car in the driveway, I figured you two would be up here. I need some Tyler advice.” She said with a shrug not understanding why Elena was getting snotty with her.

“You just barged in. What if we were busy or if I wasn’t in here and he was changing or something?” she asked, her tone fully snotty now.

Katie glanced at Damon to see him looking at them, liking the girl fight going on. “Seriously? Are you trying to sound like a jealous girlfriend? Because that’s how you’re coming off right now.” Katie asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“No, I’m just saying that we need to establish some boundaries.” Elena tried to calm her down.

“Boundaries?” Katie asked not believing that was what Elena was saying at all. “Stefan and I have established boundaries. If the door’s open I’m welcome to come in, if it’s closed it means that I need to knock.”

“What’s goin’ on here?” Stefan asked and they looked over to see him standing in the doorway.

“Elena thinks Katie Cat’s trying to steal you away from her.” Damon spoke up with a drunken sway from side to side. “Which I know can’t possibly be true.” He told him then looked at Katie.

“Why’s that?” Stefan asked out of pure curiosity as he walked over to Elena and placed his hand on the small of her back.

“You’re too muscly.” He said not looking away from Katie. “It grosses her out.” He said with a smart ass wrinkle of his nose at her.

“First off, don’t call me Katie Cat. Second, thank you for that so very helpful bit of information. Third, how do you know I didn’t just lie about that to keep from hurting your feelings?”

“Okay none of this is helpful.” Stefan spoke up cutting off the fight before it got bad. He then looked down at Elena. “Katie’s right, those are the rules we silently established. So she had every right to think it was okay to come in.”

“Right, so you two are hanging out in here now?” Elena asked simmering down the snotty-ness a little, but it was still there.

“Okay, I’m going to go get dressed for the raffle.” Damon said to no one in particular.

“You’re going to the raffle?” Katie asked with raise brows and he hummed as he walked out. “Okay, I came up here for advice, but I think I figured it out on my own.” Katie tried to walk off, but Stefan grabbed her shirt sleeve stopping her. She growled out a sigh and back tracked to face him and Elena. “What?”

He let go of her shirt and pointed to one of the old armchairs in the room, “Sit.” Katie sighed and sat down then he looked at Elena and pointed to the second matching chair that sat kitty corner to the one Katie was sitting in “You too.” Elena rolled her eyes but sat down and Stefan sat down on the arm of the old couch that sat against the wall not too far from them. “Elena, I told Katie that if she ever needed to talk that she could come to me.” Stefan started. “She and I are friends.” Elena just blinked at him, still not liking it. “And considering we’re living in the same house now, I thought it would be better than her hating me.”

“I just don’t understand why she can’t talk to me, or Caroline or Bonnie.” Elena said talking with her hands.

“There are things that he gets that you and the girls don’t.” Katie spoke up deciding to not let Stefan do all the talking.

“Like what?” Elena asked.

“Like I stayed the night with Tyler the other night.” She replied and Elena’s jaw dropped.

“You what?” she asked with a disapproving look.

“Yeah and his parents came home early and caught us sleeping.” Katie added fanning the flames.

“Oh my god Katie. Just because you lost it to Damon doesn’t mean that-” Elena started, but Katie interrupted her.

“See that,” Katie pointed at Elena as she sat up straighter, “That right there is why I didn’t call you to pick me up. I knew you would judge me nine ways to Sunday like you always do.” She stood up not being able to sit down for this conversation. “If Bonnie was home I would’ve called her because at least she would’ve heard me out before she passed judgment.”

“I think we’ve gotten off point.” Stefan spoke up trying to reel the girls back in. They both stopped glaring at each other to look at Stefan. “The point is, that Katie is just a friend.” He looked at Elena. “I don’t see her that way and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t see me that way either because apparently I gross her out.” He smirked at Katie and Elena looked at her expecting her to say something.

“He’s like the big brother I never had.” Katie added with a non committal shrug and Stefan gave her a thankful look. “And we don’t hang out in here. Contrary to what you seem to think of me, I wouldn’t step on your toes like that.”

“See, no harm no foul.” Stefan stood up. “So why don’t you two go talk it out down stairs so I can get dressed for the raffle.”

“I need to get changed too. I’ll see you guys at the raffle.” She texted Tyler letting him know she was going to go to the raffle with him as she headed to her room. She changed from her work shirt and ratty jeans to a black knit sweater, jeans and some knee high boots.

She was headed out the door when she ran into Elena who was also leaving. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to tell you…” she started making Katie pause and look at her friend. “I found out who my birth mother is.”

“Wow, really?” Katie asked not having been expecting what she told her.

“Yeah.” Elena looked down and brushed her hair behind her hear. “Turns out she was Mr. Saltzman’s wife.” She looked back up.

“Wait, was?” Katie asked, her heart falling a little.

“Yeah, we think she was killed by a vampire.” Elena answered as they left the doorway and walked out to the cars.

“I’m so sorry.” Katie looked down at her car keys. “I wish I knew something else to say, but you know me, I suck with words in moments like this.”

Elena actually smiled. “It’s okay, at least I know someone who knew her, you now? Maybe he can tell me about her.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Katie said awkwardly then a moment of silence fell over them and she couldn’t stand it. “Are we okay?” she asked making Elena look at her. “I really don’t like Stefan that way and I’m sorry if I stepped on your toes. I mean, I have Tyler now and I must really like him if I’m going to walk into the lions den with him.”

“Lions den?” she asked not answering her question.

“His mom is running this whole thing and she’s the one that walked in on me asleep with her son.” She answered. “I don’t really know how to look the woman in the eyes now.”

“I’m not trying to judge you, but you two didn’t…” she made a suggestive face.

“No. We just made out, a lot, and fell asleep.” Katie answered still fiddling with her keys. “I may have changed a lot recently, but there are still a few of my morals that Damon didn’t destroy.

“Destroying morals is my specialty.” Damon walked out and gave the girls a smile.

“I think that’s one of the few things we won’t argue about.” Katie quipped then waved to Elena and left.

TVDTVDTVD

Katie got to the grill before Tyler so she decided to hang out with Elena, Matt and Caroline where she stood selling the raffle tickets. “He’s already been hit on, like, thirty-five times. He’s total cougar bait.” Caroline said with a smile at Matt.

“Impressive.” Elena said.

“More like embarrassing.” he said with a smile at Caroline who laughed.

Katie stepped out of the way when Matt’s mom walked up. “Hi Misses Donovan.” Caroline greeted the woman with way too much cheer in her voice.

The woman just rolled her eyes at her and looked at Elena then smiled. “Elena, honey.” She greeted Elena with a hug and Katie noticed Caroline’s smile fall as she looked down at her hands on the table. Elena asked her how she was doing. “Same old.” She answered still ignoring Caroline. “Mattie tells me you broke his heart.”

“Mom.” Matt scolded his mom.

“Just kidding. Calm down.” She told him then jerked her head at Caroline. “He found his rebound girl.” Katie felt her jaw slack at the comment. “Here you go, sweetheart. How ever many that will buy.” She handed Caroline a folded bill. “I just hope I don’t get bachelor three. I dated him in high school. Not impressive.” She said then whispered, “in any way.” Matt and Katie rolled their eyes while Caroline and Elena smiled as Kelly took her tickets from Caroline and walked off.

“Wow, Matt, your mom is uh…” Katie shook her head looking for the right word, “A real piece of work.” She finished with a tight lip smile and lifted brows.

“Yeah, I gotta get back to it.” he said with a point over his shoulder.

“She hates me.” Caroline said after Matt walked off. “She caught us making out on the couch.”

“Well,” Katie said getting Caroline’s attention, “rebound girl is better than getting called trash like Mrs. Mayor douche bag called me before she caught me in Tyler’s bed.”

“What?” Caroline asked with a shocked laugh. “She caught the two of you having sex?” she asked with a smile.

“No, we were just sleeping. Fully clothed I might add.” She said as she motioned for Caroline to keep it down. “Well, he wasn’t wearing a shirt, but still.” She added getting off topic. “So I’d say you have a better chance of winning over Matt’s mom before I even put a dent in Tyler’s.”

“Did I hear my name?” he asked as he walked in and put his arm around Katie’s waist.

“Nope, you’re hearing things.” Katie quipped with a smile up at him and he kissed her on her lips. “Hi.” She told him then looked over the room, her eyes landing on a drunk Damon chatting up Tyler’s mom.

“You want to grab a table before they’re all taken?” he asked with a nod to the tables and Katie nodded.

Other than a few dirty looks from Carol the party was going good. Carol was on stage questioning the bachelors. Things took a turn for the worse when she started questioning Damon. “Do you have any hobbies, like to travel?” Carol asked trying to get him to talk about himself.

“Oh, yeah, L.A., New York.” He listed off a few places. “A couple of years ago, I was in North Carolina, near the Duke campus, actually. I think…I think Alaric went to school there. Didn’t you Rick?” Katie could tell that he was up to something as soon as he turned things to Mr. Saltzman. Normally when given the chance he would only talk about himself. “Yeah ‘cause I know your wife did.” At the mention of Rick’s wife Katie turned her eyes to Elena to see her staring blank faced at Damon. “I had a drink with her once. “She was… a great girl. Did I ever tell you that?” Damon asked Alaric. “’Cause she was… mmm she was delicious.”

“Oh my god.” Katie didn’t mean to say it out loud but she looked over to see Elena get up.

“What’s the matter?” Tyler asked.

“Nothing I just, uh, I’m feeling light headed. I’m gonna go get some air. I’ll be right back.” Katie got up and ran after her to find her and Stefan talking outside.

“Damon was the vampire that killed her?” Elena asked Stefan with tears in her eyes.

“I don’t know what happened. Alaric said that they never found the body.” Stefan told her.

“Oh my god…Stefan…” Elena said looking around, her eyes landing on Katie standing behind Stefan.

“Hey, I don’t mean to intrude, I just…I couldn’t stay in there after that.” Katie said as she walked up.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I just… I wanted to know more.” Stefan told her as Katie joined them.

“Did you know?” Elena asked Katie.

“No, I promise you I didn’t.” Katie said with her hands raised.

“I was feeling sorry for him, hoping that losing Katherine and Katie would change him. I’m so stupid.” Elena said holding her arms out to the side before she let them flop down to her sides.

“He doesn’t know about the connection to you.” Damon started. “I thought about confronting him, but he’s already so on edge and fighting with Katie isn’t helping.” He paused remembering that Katie was standing there. “Not that you can help it.”

“Why are you protecting him?” Elena yelled, angry at Damon for killing her mother.

“Because you’re not the only one hoping that he might actually change.” Stefan answered with a look over at Katie. “I know you don’t want to believe it because he hurt you, but he really does love you. I haven’t seen him look at anyone the way he looked at you since he was with Katherine.”

Katie was crossing her arms over her chest when Elena said, “That man.” and they followed her eyes to a guy standing down the street staring at them. “I saw that man outside of Trudie’s.”

“Get back inside, both of you.” Stefan said as he put his hand on Elena’s arm and urged them side.

Katie walked in first, hearing Carol announce who won what bachelor, when she ran into Damon. “Whoa, easy there. Buy a ticket like everyone else.” He quipped, alcohol rolling off of his breath.

Katie took a step back then back handed him. “Elena will explain what that’s for.” Katie walked around him and over to Tyler. “Hey, I’m not feeling too hot, I think I’m gonna head home.”

“Yeah you don’t look good, do I need to drive you?” he asked looking genuinely concerned which made her feel even worse about lying to him.

“No,” she smiled tiredly at him, “I can drive. Thank you though.”

“Okay.” He gave her a smile and kissed her cheek. “If I ever heard Matt say this I would make fun of him so bad, but text me when you get home so I know you made it there okay.”

Katie gave him a weak laugh. “Okay, I will.”

Katie pulled up to the boarding house and killed her car but didn't get out. Instead she leaned forward, putting her head on the steering wheel. "I miss my old life." She sighed then forced herself to pick her head back up and get out of the car. She could hear Damon and Stefan talking and she followed their voices to the library.

"Like you've been handling Katharine and Katie?" Stefan asked and Katie stopped in the doorway and covered her mouth with her hand when she saw Mr. Saltzman dead on the rug in front of the lit fireplace.

"I've been handling it fine." Damon said, neither of them seeing Katie standing in the doorway. "You know what? Isobel came to me. She found me. And if she's related to Elena that means she's related to Katherine. Maybe Katherine sent her to me."

"Stop it." Stefan told him still not seeing Katie. "You don’t have to keep looking."

"It can't be a coincidence Isobel sought me out." He pointed at Stefan with the same hand he was holding his bourbon glass in. "Nu uh, it can’t." He finished his drink and set the glass on the end table and stood up. "I assume you'll take care of this?" He turned to leave and they both finally saw Katie standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes.

"How much of that did you hear?" Stefan asked not moving from Alaric's side.

"I came in on…like you've been handling Katherine and Katie..." she answered not taking her eyes off of Damon. “You killed my favorite teacher?”

"He attacked me first." Damon scoffed and walked around her and out the door.

Katie stared at her dead teacher as she walked into the room and sat down on the couch. "He was a good guy, he deserves better than to be buried in some random, unmarked grave."

"I'm sorry you had to see this." He told her as he kept looking down at Alaric.

They were both just sitting there in silence when Alaric's fingers twitched. "Did he just-?"

"Yep." Stefan answered not letting her finish the question.

Katie yelped and jumped back when Alaric gasped in a deep breath and sat up. "What happened? What's going on?" He asked.

"I just had a heart attack, that's what." Katie said looking at her breathing teacher who was dead ten seconds earlier. He looked at her then back to Stefan.

"You were just..." Stefan trailed off looking the man over. “Did Damon turn you?”

"No, I uh...I went for him and then he uh... he stabbed me." Alaric said checking himself over for wounds.

"No, no, no, you must have vampire blood in your system somebody slipped it to you." Stefan argued.

“No it uh,” Alaric looked at his hand and wiggles his fingers. “It's something else.”

“Could it be the huge, ugly thing on your finger?” Katie asked noticing it was similar in size and ugliness as the magical daylight rings that Damon and Stefan wore.

He looked at Katie then down at his ring. “Isobel?” He asked as Stefan looked up at Katie. “This ring protected me.”

“That's impossible.” Stefan said then stood up and helped Alaric up.

“It's no more impossible than what your ring does for you.” Katie pointed out.

“He lives here, but what are you doing here and how do you know about this stuff?” Alaric asked Katie.

"I kind of live here too." She answered.

"I thought you lived with your grandpa." He pointed out.

"He kicked me out." She explained. "And I know about vampires because I dated Damon."

"It's not safe for you here they can mess with your mind." He said getting ready to give her a speech about how she shouldn't be living with vampires.

"There's vervain in my necklace." She told him and he closed his mouth and blinked at her. "Trust me. I'm safer here than with my grandfather."

"You should probably get out of here." Stefan told him and Alaric nodded and picked his stake off of the floor. They watched him walk out.

"It’s been one hell of a night." Katie groaned and stood from the couch. "And I'd like nothing more than for it to be over." She started out of the room. "Night, Stefan." She called over her shoulder. She heard him hum at her before she was completely out of the room.

After showering and writing a journal entry she sat down on her bed and picked up her guitar from the stand she kept it on near her night stand. She practiced a little letting the self taught guitar lesson relax her enough that she could lay down in bed and go straight to sleep. She found herself missing the days of sleeping with Damon to clear her mind.

TVDTVDTVD

A couple weeks later Katie stood at her locker talking to Tyler when Caroline came over with a smile on her face. “Hey, Elena and Stefan and me and Matt are going on a double date, I figured we could make it a triple date.”

“Sorry, I have to work.” Katie answered, not really wanting to go on the triple date anyway.

“Aw, come on, you can’t get out of it?” Caroline asked with a frown.

“Nope, sorry.” She shrugged and tucked a book away in her locker then shut it.

“Okay, see you later then.” Caroline walked off.

Tyler looked at her with a smirk and raise brows. “What?” Katie asked defensively.

“You just didn’t want to go did you?” he asked being able to see straight though her mock disappointment.

“And be witness to Caroline trying to see if Matt is really over Elena? No thanks.” Katie said with a disgusted face and a head shake.

“Oh, that’s what that’s all about?” he asked and Katie nodded with a hum. “Well thanks for saving me from sitting though that.” He said with relief in his voice.

Katie grabbed his hand and looked at the watch he always wore. “I should be heading to work.” She moved his hand around in hers to hold it and gave him a smile. “I’ll call you later.”

Tyler gave her a small smile back as he leaned in and kissed her. “Okay.”

Katie was serving a customer when she saw Damon walk in and sit down at the bar next to Matt’s mom, Kelly. She knew as soon as the two started talking that the night was going to be interesting. An hour later Matt, Caroline, Elena and Stefan came in and sat down at a table in Katie’s section. So she took her note pad and pen out as she walked over and greeted them. She took their order, already sensing a little awkwardness in the group, then went and stuck the order on the ticket wheel. With no one else in her section she moved to the bar that the new, flakey bartender had abandoned.

When she saw Damon, Kelly and Jenna being loud, Katie understood why the bartender fled. “Don’t be grumpy. It can’t be that bad.” Jenna said as Damon grabbed a bottle and poured a shot. Katie stood at the other end of the bar, unnoticed by Damon.

“You’d be surprised. My primary reason for existence has abandoned me. And, after today’s events, the remains of the shaky ground that I walk on are about to go ka-boom.” His words made Katie wonder what happened today that would make him say that, but then he looked at Kelly and said, “Let’s get hammered.”

Katie rolled her eyes and put on a fake smile. “Is there anything I can get you guys?”

“Yeah, a new bottle.” Damon answered, making Katie roll her eyes as she reached behind her and grabbed a bottle of the bourbon that she knew he liked.

“Aren’t you too young to be bartending?” Kelly asked.

“Yes, but unlike you the manager likes me.” Katie smiled sweetly. “Besides, do you see a bartender around here anywhere?”

Kelly looked at her as if she couldn’t believe she had said that. “Come on Katie Cat, don’t be catty.” Damon told her with a smirk.

“You don’t get to call me that anymore.” She told him with an aggravated look.

“Oh, yeah, that’s right. You two broke up recently.” Jenna said already a little buzzed.

“Wait, you…dated her?” Kelly asked with wide eyes and a judging look.

“Yep and he’s not impressive…” deciding to mimic what Kelly had said about bachelor number three at the raffle, Katie cut her eyes down and dramatically whispered, “In any way.” then walked off while Damon gave her the evil eye.

A few hours later the double daters left and Jenna decided to bow out of drinking with Damon and Kelly who were getting too into each other. After seeing Damon take a tied cherry stem out of Kelly’s mouth with his, Katie decided that she wanted her sanity more than a pay check and went home.

She saw Elena’s car and Matt’s truck in the driveway, but when she went inside she didn’t see them. Bored, she sat down at the piano in the room and lifted the cover over the keys. Not knowing if she would even remember the one song her mother taught her before she died, Katie put her fingers on the keys and started playing. She messed up a few times, but for the most part it felt like riding a bike.

She was so lost in playing that she didn’t hear Kelly and Damon walk in. When she was done playing she got up and went to go to her room, but she stopped in her tracks when she saw Damon leaning against the wall with Kelly’s legs wrapped around his waist, his hands on her ass, holding her up as they made out.

Katie was stuck, trying to decide if she should break them up or let them carry on when Matt, Caroline, Elena and Stefan walked in. “Mom?” Matt asked making then freeze.

“Damon?” Caroline asked as he pulled his face out of Kelly’s chest and looked at them. He let Kelly go and she stepped back looking guilty. Damon’s eyes instantly found Katie, taking in her rapidly beating heart and clenched fists.

“Oh my god, Matt.” Kelly said as she bent down and picked up her jacket and grabbed her purse. She walked out looking ashamed of herself.

“I got to-” Matt started with a point to his mom.

“It’s fine. Just go.” Caroline told him with a sigh.

“I’ll take her home.” Elena told Matt.

Katie watched Damon as he grabbed the bottle of alcohol off of the table that he and Kelly had been making out next to then poured a glass. When Matt and his mom were out of sight Stefan, Elena and Caroline glared at Damon then walked outside. When they were gone Katie finally unfroze. She walked past him, purposely hitting his shoulder with hers as she did, then went to her room.

She sat down on her bed with a sigh and ran her fingers through her hair then balled her fists up, pulling her hair. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs or throw something. Instead she went down stairs to the library to get a drink, thinking no one would be in there. But Damon was sitting in the arm chair with his leg thrown over the arm of it. She ignored him as she grabbed a clean glass and filled it half full.

She was standing at the end of the couch, taking a big gulp, when Stefan came in. "Are you crazy?" Stefan asked.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Save the lecture. Look,-”

He was cut off when a male vampire jumped though the window and tackled Stefan, stabbing him in the chest with a piece of broken glass from the window. Damon pulled the guy off of him and they started fist fighting.

Katie was about to make a run for it, but a female vampire jumped through the window, sped in front of her, grabbed her by her throat and slammed her into the floor, sinking her teeth into her neck. Katie struggled to get away, but her vision was spotty from her head being slammed into the floor.

Stefan finally managed to get the glass out of his chest and staked the woman as Katie's world faded to black.

Damon, seeing Katie unmoving on the floor, blood seeping out of the back of her head and on to the rug, mustered the strength to throw the guy across the room. "Katie?" Damon ran to her side, sliding to her on his knees. "Katie, come on." He bit his wrist, opened her mouth and placed the bite mark against her tongue. The vampire looked at them, realized he was now out numbered and sped out of the window. "Come on Katie Cat, don’t do this. Wake up."

Stefan walked over and listened for a pulse. Damon looked up at his brother with wide eyes, keeping his wrist on Katie's mouth. "Her pulse is faint, but it's there." Relief washed over Damon's face. "Pick her up." Damon slid his arms under Katie and picked her up. Stefan felt of the bloody spot on the back of her head. "Her skull is shattered. It's going to be a while before she wakes up." He jerked his head for Damon to follow him. He put a towel over her pillow then Damon laid her on her bed. "I doubt she'll want to see you when she does." Stefan said then walked out.

Damon brushed her hair out of her face and placed a kiss to her temple then left her alone.

TVDTVDTVD

Katie woke up and sat up in her dark room. With a groan she felt of the back of her head to find dried, crusty blood in her hair. Remembering that she had been bitten, she then moved her fingers to her neck feeling dried blood there too, but no wound. It clicked that someone had fed her their blood and saved her life.

The events of the night flooded back to her making her remember why she had gone downstairs in the first place. So she headed down stairs, not caring if she got attacked again. The living room was empty and instead of pouring a glass she just grabbed the bottle and went back to her room, drinking it as she went.

She set the bottle on her dresser as she stripped out of her clothes, then grabbed it and brought it into the shower with her. She only sat it down to wash her hair and then to dry off after she got done showering. She had the bottle in her hand and her towel secured around her as she walked out into her room. With her head tilted back and the bottle to her lips, her eyes landed on Damon, sitting crossed legged in the middle of her bed. “I’ve pushed you to binge drinking?” he asked not moving even though she was glaring at him.

“Life has pushed me to drinking.” She corrected. As she stumbled, her towel fell to the floor around her feet and she stumbled again this time falling onto her hands and knees. The bottle in her hand tipped over stilling the amber liquid all over the floor. Damon got up and walked over to her, holding his hand out to her. She didn’t take it so he grabbed her under her arms and picked her up, pushing her towel over the liquid. “And you’re a part of my life.” She didn’t look at him, but down at the floor as tears slipped from her eyes. “You’re not supposed to be… that wasn’t the plan…” she scooped up the bottle and walked over to her dresser.

“What are you talking about?” Damon asked a little confused by her drunken ramblings.

“You and me, you weren’t supposed to still be here when we ended. You were supposed to run off into the sunset with Katherine and let me move on with my life with you one hundred percent out of it. A clean break, but no… life had something more cynical in mind.” She set the bottle on the dresser and opened the drawer.

“Life never follows our plans does it?” he asked, now on the same line of thinking as her. She didn’t answer and he watched as she pulled out one of the thongs he had found while helping her move and pulled it on. She had grabbed a bra that had stripes on it that reminded him of Zebra Gum and started trying to put it on, but her drunken fingers couldn’t fasten the hooks. He walked over and helped her. “This is a change. I’m usually getting women out of their bras not in them.”

“Ain’t that the truth?” Katie scoffed and when he was finished with the hooks she grabbed the bottle and took a drink. “I’m pretty sure we were about ten seconds away from seeing Kelly topless and none of us want to ever see that.” She set the bottle back on the dresser then fished a pair of shorts out of it and started trying to put them on but after the third time of her missing the leg hole with her foot Damon grabbed the shorts from her and kneeled down. She instinctively placed her hands on his shoulders and picked her foot up then repeated the movement with her other foot. He had pulled them up to her thighs when she placed her hands over his and helped him pull them all the way up. His hands flipped around, holding hers, while he still kneeled on the floor.

Their eyes met and after a few seconds Katie felt herself leaning into him. When her nose brushed his he grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her hard. In a blur they were on her bed with him on top of her pulling her legs around his hips. Katie’s hands caressed his neck and back, but when he started kissing her neck, tears started slipping from the corners of her eyes, some landing on Damon’s hands near her head, making him pull back to look into her blood shot eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asked, concern filling his voice as his eyes searched hers.

“I can’t do this.” She pushed his shoulders and he sat up and watched her pull her knees to her chest, folded her arms over them then press her forehead to them. “I can’t cheat on Tyler. I’m not a cheater. I can’t be that girl.” Her body shook with sobs as she rocked back and forth.

Damon put his hand on the back of her head, caressing it. “Then break up with him.” She just shook her head, not looking up at him. “Why not? It’s not like you love him.”

She looked at him, her head still resting on her arms on her knees. “I’m happy with him, Damon.” She told him and when she blinked another tear fell.

“But you don’t love him.” He argued, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone.

“But I could, one day, maybe.” She said, her head swimming from the alcohol. “I owe it to myself to find out if I can love someone who is actually capable of loving me back.”

“I love you, Katie.” He told her as he slid his thumb over her bottom lip.

“Not whole heartedly. I heard you the other night, you’re still…looking… for Katherine.” She picked her head up and regretting it when she got dizzy. She closed her eyes, waiting for her world to stop spinning, and felt Damon cup her face in his hands. She opened her eyes and looked into his. “Until you stop looking for her…until you realize that she doesn’t want you…there is no hope for us.” She told him then let her head fall back onto her arms.

He saw her eyes started slipping shut. So he pulled back her covers, laid her down then pulled them over her. “Good night, Katie Cat.”

TVDTVDTVD

Katie woke up the next morning with a raging headache. She pulled a tank top on and went downstairs to find Stefan in the kitchen. “Good morning.” He greeted her.

“Good is debatable.” She grumbled back as she pulled the icebox open.

“How are you feeling?” Stefan asked curiously.

“You mean other than extremely hung over?” she asked, shutting the door with a sigh. “I’m fine.”

“You got drunk last night?” he asked with a frown then took a drink from a silver flask.

“You’re one to judge?” she asked with a point to the flask.

“It’s animal blood.” He explained.

“Is there anything for a hang over in this house?” Katie asked unfazed by his statement.

“Really, no reaction to me bluntly stating that I’m drinking animal blood?” he asked, humor in his curious voice. “You’ve been around us too much.” Katie rolled her eyes and gave him a look that told him to answer the question. “Here.” He walked over to a drawer and grabbed a bottle of aspirin.

He tossed it to her and she managed to catch it. “Thank you.” he left the kitchen as she took two pills then put the bottle back where he got them from.

She was walking through the house, eating a bowl of oatmeal when she walked by Damon carrying a large board, nails and a hammer. She realized then that it was storming outside and the window in the library was broken. “Need any help?” she asked, putting her spoon in the bowl.

“We’re talking now?” he asked not looking back at her as he made his way to the library.

“Yes.” She told him simply.

He stopped and set the board down. “Do you remember what happened last night?” Damon asked her with a frown.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” She told him as she picked up her spoon, “Other wise I’d be wondering why I have a kick ass hang over.” She took a bite of oatmeal and walked around him and into the library.

“Mkay.” Damon drawled as he picked up the board and followed her.

“Look, I can’t be mad at you and move on with Tyler, because if I’m mad at you then it means that I still feel something for you.” she told him as she watched him walk over to the window then took another bite of food hoping a healthy breakfast would make her feel a little better. “So we need to figure out how to just be friends.”

"And if I don’t want to just be friends?" He asked as he put the board up over the window.

"Then you're just going to have to get over it." She said as she put her empty bowl down and grabbed the hammer and a nail.

She put a nail in the bottom corners then handed him the hammer. "A cheerleader that knows how to use a hammer." He said with an impressed smirk.

"It’s not that hard. I can also install electrical outlets, hang light fixtures and ceiling fans, float, tape and texture drywall, and build a birdhouse from scratch." She said with a smile and pulled a superwoman pose as she held out a nail to him.

"And how did you learn how to do all that?" He asked then started putting more nails in the board.

"Working with habitat for humanity." She shrugged. "Hey, um, how bad was I hurt last night?" She asked not wanting to know, but she needed to.

He stopped hammering to look at her where she stood next to him fiddling nervously with a nail. “Really bad." He told her quietly. "Bethann crushed your skull. Stefan thinks that if I would've gotten to you any later that we would've lost you."

"So it was you that saved me." She said with a nod as she sat down on the leather couch in the room. "Wait. You knew them?" She asked realizing that he called the vamp that almost killed her by name.

"Yeah. About that..." he started as he walked over and looked down at her. "They were in the tomb."

"How did they get out? What about the rest of them?" She asked, standing up again.

"The witches screwed up their juju. All of the vampires that were down there are free." He told her waiting for her reaction.

“Son of a bitch.” She sighed and sat down on the couch again.

“That’s not all. Some of them are hold up in a farm house just outside of town. Pearl, Katherine’s best friend from back in the day, is leading them. They want to take the town back. She came to me looking to trade Katherine’s location for information about the council.” He told her and she sat up putting her elbows on her knees.

“What did you tell her?” Katie asked, not judging him, just wanting to know more.

“I told her no way in hell then she gouged my eyes out with her thumbs.” He answered. “I didn’t really have a choice after that.”

“What’s going on in here?” Stefan asked as he and Elena walked into the room.

“Damon’s just filled me in on who those people were last night.” Katie said not looking to see Elena in the room too.

“Are you okay?” Elena asked and Katie looked over at her not lifting her head off the back of the couch. “You look like crap.”

Katie moved her eyes to Stefan as he walked further into the room. “Did you not tell her about last night?” she asked feeling like her head was going to explode. “Alcohol hangover ontop of vamp blood hangover…No es muy divertida en absolute.”

Elena shook her head and set down next to Katie. “Leave it to you to speak crappy Spanish when you’re hung over.”

“Yeah, Katie, kind of almost died last night.” Stefan said making Elena’s head snap to him then look at Katie with wide eyes.

“Yeah, vampire bitch crushed my skull and bit me.” Katie added.

“Katie you have to move out. You can stay with me if you need to.” Elena said looking at her friend with wide eyes.

“Another discussion for another time.” Katie brushed her off.

“Yeah we need to figure out what to do about these tomb vampires.” Stefan spoke up making Elena look at him.

“I say we go to Pearl’s, bust down the door, and annihilate the idiot that attacked us last night.” Damon spoke up after putting the last nail in the board.

"Yeah? And then what? We turn to the rest if the house of vampires and say, oops. Sorry?" Stefan asked.

"I can't believe you made a deal with her." Elena told Damon.

"It was more like a helpful exchange of information." Damon said talking with his hands still holding the hammer as he walked around to stand in front of the fireplace. "It’s not like I had a choice she's...scary." Damon said actually looking a little scared in his own, Damon way. "Besides, she's going to help me get Katherine back."

Katie felt her hatred of Katherine growing every time Damon said her name. "Oh, of course she is." Elena scoffed and stood up to stand by Stefan. "Damon gets what he wants no matter who gets hurt in the process."

Damon gave Katie a look that seemed to say, not everything I want, then gave Elena one of his cocky smirks. "There's no need to be snarky about it." He walked over and sat down next to Katie, putting his arm around her only for her to grab it and move it.

"I woke up this morning to learn that all the vampires had been released from the tomb. I've earned snarky." Elena replied making Katie roll her eyes.

She wanted to point out that she had learned the same information and wasn't being snarky, but then again Katie never was the snarky kind. That was always Elena's department. "Ugh." He scoffed and started playing with the hammer. "How long are you going to blame me for turning your birth mother into a vampire?"

"I'm not blaming you Damon. I've accepted the fact that you're a self serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities." Elena bit back.

Damon made a sound as if he had been burned. "Ouch."

"This isn’t being very productive." Stefan stepped up seeing Katie glaring at Elena who didn't notice. "We’re going to figure out a way to deal with Pearl and the vampires yeah?" Stefan asked Damon who just stood up and walked out.

"Okay, I need to shower and get to work." Katie pushed herself off of the couch then walked out.

TVDTVDTVD

Thanks to the rain business was slow so when Tyler and his Dad came in, she was able to play pool with him. "How have you worked here for so long and not learned how to play pool?" Tyler asked as he leaned over and took his shot.

"Who says I'm not just pretending to suck?" She asked examining the table looking for an easy shot.

"Yeah, I don't think so." He told her with a shake of his head.

Katie found her shot and leaned over, lining the pool cue up then took her shot, the ball that she had intended on sinking didn't go in. She stood up and wrinkled her nose with an ashamed smile. "Okay so I suck."

Tyler shook his head at her then walked around and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Then let me show you."

Katie bit her lip as she leaned over the table as he leaned down with her, helping her line up the cue. "Who's that woman with your dad?" She asked noticing mayor Lockwood smiling at the woman across the table from him.

"She’s not my mom that's for sure." He said as he lined her cue up where it needed to be. "Try that." Katie took the shot, sinking the ball into the corner pocket. They stood up and Katie turned to Tyler to see him giving his dad a dirty look.

She wanted to ask him if he felt like talking about it, but someone was seated in her section. "I have to get back to work." She told him with a frown. "But I get a break in twenty. Wanna have dinner if you're still here?"

Tyler looked at his dad. "I'm sure I'll still be here."

Katie slid between him and his view of his father. "Your dad's an ass, your mom deserves better and I could really use a kiss." She told him as she placed her hand on his neck. Tyler kissed her on her lips keeping it short and sweet since he didn't feel like getting a lecture about pda later.

TVDTVDTVD

Katie and Tyler were halfway through dinner when Mayor Lockwood walked over and touched Tyler's back getting his attention. "Grab your stuff we've got to go."

"We kind of have half a burger left." Tyler argued at his dad grabbed his coat off the rack by the doors.

"They found Vicki Donovan." His dad informed them.

"Oh god." Katie whispered.

"Are you serious?" Tyler asked as he stood up. Katie noticed Jeremy walk over. "Where was she?"

"The storm unearthed the grave off county road. They just brought her body down to the morgue." He answered not looking or sounding at all affected by what he was saying.

"Wait. She's dead?" Jeremy asked.

"Come on we've got to go." The mayor urged.

Tyler looked at Katie, "Go, go. I'll catch up to you later." She told him and he nodded then followed his father out.

Katie found her manager and told her what was going on and got the green light to leave. She got a text from Caroline, telling her what was going on and asking her to bring coffee, creamer and sugar to Matt's. So she stopped by the store and picked up what Caroline asked her to get along with Styrofoam cups and swizzle sticks and headed to Matt's.

The sheriff let her in and she headed to the kitchen to put the supplies away when she saw Tyler sitting at the dining table with Jeremy. When he saw her he stood up and started helping her put things away. When they were done she grabbed his hands and pulled him in for a hug. She felt like shit because she'd known that Vicki was dead for months. "I'm going to go pay my respects. Are you going to need a ride home?"

"Yeah. My dad dropped me off." Tyler answered.

"What about you?" Katie asked Jeremy.

"Na, Elena's on her way. Thanks though." He replied flatly.

After awkwardly paying her respects to Kelly and Matt, she headed back into the kitchen to find Tyler sitting at the dining table in deep thought. She sat down next to him and slid her hand across his shoulders. He blinked over at her and she gave him a weak smile. A few minutes later sheriff Forbs came in and announced that it was time to give the Donovan's some space.

The drive to Tyler's house was silent, neither of them knowing what to say to the other. When they pulled up in front of his house Katie killed the car and got out, walking hand in hand with him to the door. "I sorry. I suck in times like these." She sighed. "All I know to say is you have an ear right here if you need one." She pointed to her ear and he gave her a small smile. "Any time day or night."

"I don't know what to say either. Still feel like it's not real. Like it's just a bad dream." He said with a shake of his head.

Tyler grabbed her and pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Tyler." They heard his mom say from the doorway. They pulled away from each other, Katie couldn't make herself look at Carol. "It's late. Come inside."

Katie cupped his cheek in her hand, "Try to get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay." He told her with a nod and a tight lipped smile.

Katie finally made herself look at Carol and say, "Goodnight, Mrs. Lockwood."

"Good night, Katie." Carol replied as Katie turned away and headed to her car. Katie was surprised to find there was no snooty undertone to her words.

TVDTVDTVD

Not wanting to bother Elena with a late phone call Katie went to Stefan’s room and since the door was open let herself inside "Stefan I hate to...whoa." she said as she took in the blood bags laying around the room. Then her eyes landed on him looking up at her with blood on his face and it looked like he had been crying. "Are you okay?" She asked as she slowly started to walk closer to him.

"No, no, no. Don't come any closer." He told her and she stopped. "I could hurt you."

"Why are you drinking human blood?" She asked remembering what Damon had told her about him and drinking from humans.

"Damon hasn't told you?" He asked and Katie shook her head and shrugged.

"Katie get out of here." She heard Damon say and she looked behind her and shook her head no. "I'm serious. He really could hurt you right now. I'll fill you in later, just go."

“You’re here, and I started drinking vervain.” Katie told Damon then looked at Stefan, “He won’t hurt me.” She kept a rag in her back pocket when she was at work, and she pulled it out as she walked over to Stefan and sat down in front of him. “I want you to tell me what happened.” She said as she gingerly took the empty blood bag out of his hand and replaced it with the rag.

“After you and Elena left I went hunting. Some of the tomb vampires got the jump on me, took me back to their farm house and started torturing me.” He said looking more like he was staring through her instead of at her. Katie took the rag from Stefan since he wasn’t cleaning his mouth with it. She looked at the doorway to see that Damon was gone. “Damon, Alaric and Elena got me out. Damon and Alaric kept the others busy while Elena got me to the car, but Frederick, the vampire from the other night, intercepted us and staked me. Elena stabbed him with a vervain dart and fed me her blood.”

“She fed you her blood?” Katie asked with raised brows. “Does she know that you have tendency to rip people apart when you feed on them?”

Stefan gave her a pained look. “No and I didn’t know you knew.”

Katie shrugged. “It kinda just came up when I was questioning Damon on the difference between animal and human blood.

“I don’t want her to know.” He told Katie as she stood up and went to his bathroom to wet the rag. “You can’t tell her.”

Katie walked back into the room and handed him the rag. “Wipe your mouth or I will.”

He took it from her and started cleaning his face. “I’m serious Katie you can’t tell her about this she’ll think it’s her fault.”

“I promise, Stefan, I won’t tell her.” she took the rag from him and wiped a few spots of blood that he’d missed. “Be honest with me, please. How bad is this?”

“It’s really, really bad.” He told her looking like he was going to start crying. “And Damon killed the one person who could always put me back on the wagon.”

“Lexi?” Katie asked and Stefan nodded. “Maybe, since you don’t want Elena to know about this, I can help you?”

“No.” he shook his head and moved to sit on the couch he had been leaning against. “Lexi was a vampire, I couldn’t sink me teeth into her when I started losing it.”

“You would bite me knowing that I have vervain in my system?” Katie asked.

“No, but I could easily rip your head off.” He said and she took a slow deep breath trying to figure out how to help him.

She let it out and stood up. “So there’s nothing I can do to help you?” Katie asked and Stefan shook his head no. “And Damon’s… Damon, so he’s not going to even try.” She said out loud.

“Nope, I have to figure this out for myself.” Stefan told her with a shake of his head.

“Okay, well, you know where I’m at if you ever need to talk.” She told him then picked up the empty blood bags and headed down stairs. She ran into Damon in the kitchen. “So you and my history teacher, a man you killed, rescued Stefan today?” Katie asked as she threw the blood bags in the trash. “How’d you get him to help?”

“I told him that Pearl would know where Isobel is.” He answered as he grabbed a blood bag out of the fridge. “It was a lie, obviously.” He rolled his eyes and gave her a smirk. “So you really think I won’t help my brother out of this whole binge drinking mess Elena got him into?” he asked as he ripped the corner off of the bag and poured the blood into a glass.

“You love for him to be miserable.” She pointed out as she went to one of the over head cabinets and grabbed a cup of noodles. “He’s miserable.”

“Yes he is.” He smiled as he threw away the blood bag. But when he looked at Katie his smiled fell. “It’s not safe, you living here. I thought I could protect you, but after last night and now Stefan…”

Katie filled a tea kettle with water then put it on the stove. “I know. I’m not going to make it till February.” She turned the stove on then turned to him and crossed her arms over her chest. “As much as I don’t want to ask you to, will you compel my grandfather into letting me move back in?”

“Katie.” He sighed her name and set down his glass of blood. “You once told me that you would probably do anything if I asked you too.” He took her face in his hands as he leaned down and looked her in the eyes. “That’s a two way street.” He kissed her forehead then pushed her away.

“Thank you.” she told him as the kettle started whistling. “Since you’re going to be compelling him anyway, can you also make him give me my old room back?” she asked as she took the kettle off and poured some water over the noodles. “Grandpa took it and moved me into my dad’s office when he moved in.”

“Now you’re just being greedy.” He told her with a smirk and she rolled her eyes at him. “Yes, any more requests?” he asked, as he finished off his glass of blood.

“Yeah, how do I spike my drinks with vervain?” she asked sheepishly.

“You liar.” He gasped in fake shock. “You totally don’t have vervain in your system do you?”

“No, but it worked did it not?” she asked. “He didn’t bite me.”

“No, but he’d also just binged and probably wasn’t starving. Don’t pull that again.” Damon rolled his eyes and told her where to find the vervain oil down stairs. Then they both turned in for the night.

[harrystyleswatermelon-sugar]

Neighbours Part 1

I am nervous, I don’t know the people I am going to face and I hope my new neighbours are nice. I just moved here from another part of London, but I fell in love with the flat as soon as I saw it. Now, as I am all settled in, I decided to greet my new neighbours.

A young woman opens, she has dark brown hair and freckles, as she now smiles at me, I can see small dimples on her cheeks. She looks nice and is stunningly beautiful.

“Hi, I´m Y/N. I just moved in next door and I wanted to give you this to start on good terms,” I explain and hand her my selfmade Quiche. She looks surprised but delighted.

“Oh, it´s so nice to meet you. I am Gemma. Michael!” she shouts into her home and a young man comes into my vision.

“This is our new neighbour Y/N. Look what she made us,” she says to him and he puts out his hand. I shake it and smile at him.

“Nice to meet you. This looks like the start of a very good, food-related friendship.” I laugh and honestly, I wouldn’t mind being friends with them.

The woman looks oddly familiar and I look at their sign at the door. Mlynowski/Styles. Oh my god, she is Harry Styles sister. That can´t be true. I live next to Harry Styles sister. Wow.

“Do you have any friends in the area? I thought, maybe you want to join me and my friends for lunch next week. We could get to know each other better.” she suggests and I smile happily.

“That would be awesome. I would like some new friends.” I accept her invitation and she nods.

“Great, I´ll get in touch with you, Y/N.”

Six months later

Gemma and I have indeed become good friends. I often sit with her on her roof terrace and drink coffee. She is an adorable woman and I have her very close to my heart. We went shopping the other day and met some of her fans, she seems pretty popular but she is so nice to her fans and followers. I sometimes ask myself, if Harry is as nice and humble as his sister. They were raised by the same woman, so I guess their mum has taught them both well.

I never met him though, but I can´t wait for the day when it happens. I am not a real fan of his, I just think he is unbelievable attractive and his music is nice. Gemma doesn’t talk much about him, just sometimes whines about her younger brother. He is on tour at the moment but she tells me, he is about to finish and sometimes she is concerned, he takes too much. He is constantly working and when he comes home to relax it is a very necessary break.

As it is a very cold and rainy Sunday today, considering it is mid-November, I sit in my favourite warm knitted sweater on my couch. I just wear a pair of leggings underneath and don’t care that my ass is only covered by that. No ones here and I am not going anywhere. I grab my tea and blow some air in it, so it cools faster. I grab my book love is a mixtape and just in this very moment my doorbell rings. I put my book down sighing and go to look through the spy.

Harry Styles is standing right in front of my door. What the fuck? Did he ring the wrong bell? I look at myself in the mirror, but it doesn’t satisfy me, this is my worst Sunday look.

He rings again and I sigh again as I open my door.

“Uhm…hi,” I say and turn crimson as he looks at me. He smiles friendly and I see the same dimples, as Gemma has.

“Hi, I´m Harry, Gemmas brother. She lives right there. I was supposed to visit her, but she isn’t at home, you don’t possibly know where she is?” he asks me and I shake my head.

“Sorry, no. I´m Y/N and I know Gems, we are friends. Why don’t you call her?” I reply and tug at my sweater.

“My phone died and I really need to have a wee, this is stupid,” he sighs and I bite my bottom lip.

“How about you coming inside, go to the bathroom while I plug your phone on my charger?” I suggest and he looks at me. His eyes are mesmerizing, emerald green.

“That would be great. You´d be my hero.” he smiles and I move away from the door, so he can step inside. He puts his big leather bag into my corridor and takes his shoes off. Good manners.

“The bathroom is right there.” I point to the wooden door and he hands me his iPhone, which I take with me, while he closes the door behind him.

I boil some water so make him a tea. What, if he likes coffee, instead of tea? I hear him coming down the corridor and stopping right before he enters my kitchen. I guess, he is taking a look at my memory wall, where I put tickets and photos of friends and family. Things and moments, I want to remember and cherish, if I feel bad.

“Tea or coffee?” I ask a bit louder, so he can hear me.

“Oh nothing, thanks. Don’t want to bother you more than I already do,” he answers and steps in the kitchen.

“You are not bothering me. Coffee or tea?” I ask again and he smirks.

“Well then, coffee. Thank you,” he answers and make him his coffee.  With his mug in my hand, I walk to my couch and set it down next to mine. He sits on the couch and looks around my flat.

“I like your style, it´s very elegant and vintage,” he compliments my decoration and I feel my cheeks getting warm.

“Thanks, that’s very nice. Your mom has taught you two well.” I wink at him and he beams at me.

“She did. She is the best,” he sips his coffee, plain black. Ew. I hate black coffee.

“So do you stay with your sister while you are in London?” he laughs at my question and suddenly I feel stupid and get all shy. Of course, he has a house here, why shouldn’t he. He is rich as hell.

“No, I don’t. I just wanted to see her after my tour and then I will go to my home. I am also going home to my mums during the break.” he tells me and I nod.

“Sounds great.”

“I will be here on Gems birthday, I think we will meet there again, huh?” he asks and looks me in the eyes. I take a deep breath and shake my head.

“I haven’t heard anything about her birthday nor that am I invited,” he furrows a brow.

“Wait, you are Y/N? Who moved here a few weeks ago, right?” he asks and I nod. More like a few months ago, but still. Yes.

“Then you will be invited, for sure. She told me about you and how much she likes you. God, I am so worn out.” he yawns behind his hand and runs his hands over his face. He looks tired, too.

“I can only imagine how hard a tour must be,” he gives me a half-smile and nods.

“It is exhausting but I love it. I mean, I don’t like being in the spotlight every time I step out, but I like doing my own thing. Selling my music. Sometimes, though, I just want to be a normal guy, someone who can be just himself and not what everybody expects you to be.” he sighs and I understand, what he says. You have obligations and special rules you have to stick to.

“Well being normal and ordinary can be pretty boring sometimes. But I get what you say, I wouldn’t want to switch places with you, I hate getting attention from everyone. It´s my worst nightmare.” he looks at me a bit surprised and I turn my gaze down to the ground. Why am I telling him all this? I am usually not as open as I am right now.

“It can be very intimidating, yes. But you get used to it someday. Don’t you get all the attention, when you go out to party?” he asks and I cough. I never really went to go to a party.

“That’s not what I do, honestly. I am more of a loner, boring at home with my books and tea…” I reply and I feel so boring. Telling him, who has seen the whole world, what I do when I am home.

“What do you do for a living?”

“I work in the library, see? Boring job as well,” I laugh and he smiles friendly.

“I don’t think that’s boring at all. Books are great, I mean you can find so many new places in them and when you have no time left, you just stop and get on it at the same point, where you left. I love books, but haven’t been to a library in years,” he answers and I look over to his phone.

“I think you can use it now. You could have used mine as well, didn’t think of that.” I say and roll my eyes. Sometimes I am a bit confused.

“It´s okay, I enjoy your company very much. Haven´t talked to someone who is a stranger to me and doesn’t freak out, because I am Harry Styles. It´s so refreshing and you are very nice, I know why Gemma likes you so much,” he says and I turn the deepest shade of tomato red, I can tell. I hate myself for it.

“Thanks, I guess. I like her, too. She is great and nothing but a good soul,” I reply and drink my tea while he fiddles with his phone.

I try to not listen to his conversation but when he gets louder, I can´t help it.

“Gemma you said you were at home, if you knew you weren’t, why the fuck did you not tell me? I could have gone home directly!” he says and I can see, that he is upset.

“No, that´s not okay. Yes…whatever, Gemma. I´m leaving now, yeah see ya.” he hangs up on her and grunts disappointed.

“Such a waste of time, this woman! Oh…I´m sorry, of course, it wasn’t a waste of time, I met you. Something positive at last.” he smiles at me and I roll my eyes.

“It´ s okay, I get it. You are upset and tired.” he nods in response and gets up.

“Well, thank you very much for your hospitality, I´m sure we will meet again soon,” he says his goodbyes and I take one last look at him, trying to remember how it was when I met Harry Styles.

“Sure, have a good night, Harry,” I reply and smiles, as he walks out my door.

About a week later I sit at my desk at work, going through some papers, as I hear a noise outside my door. It sounds like someone is having a heavy discussion and I try to ignore it. After a few minutes, I sigh and get up. This is ridiculous, it is a public library, people are supposed to be quieter here. I leave my office and stop surprised at the sight of the young man standing at the front desk. It is Harry.

“Sorry, Y/N. He persisted on seeing you, but I explained you are currently checking our papers, which is important.” Amy says and look apologetically. I smile at her and answer:

“That’s okay, Amy. I know him, Harry come with me,” he follows me and I see him eyeing Amy a bit triumphantly. I walk us both into my office and offer him a seat by pointing to the chair in front of my desk.

“How can I help you, Harry?” I ask him and sit down, putting those annoying papers away, happy to have a break from them.

“Well, I haven’t been here in years and wanted to see you. Dunno why, but maybe, if you have time…you could show me around a bit?” he asks and smiles, showing his dimples. That gets me every time.

“Sure, I could need a break from this paperwork and you took the risk of coming here, so yeah. I guess I can show you around a bit,” I get up and he grabs my name sign, which is placed at the corner of my desk.

“Y/N Y/L/N, head of member sciences. Wow, I thought you were just a normal employee but you are one of the leaders here. I am very impressed, I bet you are brilliant.” he says and hands me my sign. I put in on my collar and smile shyly.

“Yeah, I am very passionate about my job. Follow me, we will start at the front desk.” we stroll through the bookshelves, I explain something here and there, show him my favourite books and spots. We laugh and talk quietly to not disturb anyone. After we finish, I look at him in curiosity.

“So, did you like it? Will you come back to visit the library?” I ask and he beams at me. His green eyes wander over my face and for the first time today, I start turning red. Hopefully, he doesn´t see it.

“Of course, I loved it. Thank you so much, for the tour Y/N. I will come back, I mean…who could resist visiting a lady with brain and beauty?” he asks and winks at me. Is Harry Styles flirting with me? I don’t know how to react and just stare at him. Slowly my brain starts working again and I hear me saying:

“Yeah, the ladies here are pretty dope.” dope? Did I just say the word dope? Who am I and where is my normal self?

Harry laughs and leans against a big shelf with old books, which I don’t like. This is not a resting place for him, this is a public library. I raise an eyebrow and look at him, he stands straight up immediately and stutters an excuse.

“I think I might leave now and let you finish your work. Has Gemma invited you to her birthday already?” he asks and I nod.

“Yes, she did. Well, thanks for your surprise visit, it was nice to have a little break,” I say and smile at him.

“If you ever need another break, I´m at your service. See you soon, Y/N.” he says his goodbye and leaves the library before I can reply. My heart is racing and maybe my palms are a bit sweaty, but I would never make a move on any man. Especially not on the brother of my friend, who happens to be famous all over the world.

PART 2

Hellooo, so this wasn´t supposed to be a two part story but it took it´s own way. So here we have part 1, part 2 will be coming tomorrow.  Stay tuned!

Love, xx