#to think about lying as a morally grey concept

[transfemlogan]

its so INSANE to me that we can have A TWO PART EPISODE about virgil & his acceptance. have an entire arc where they show that virgil is not a bad side 4 his mistakes, & NOT have people apply that to ANY ONE ELSE. Have people watch that & STILL proceed 2 fucking attack janus as soon as he reveals himself for "being evil". STILL have people attack logan & roman . STILL have people attack patton in later episodes, simply because the other sides start to not like him or call him out on his mistakes . like HEAD IN HANDS.

[finisnihil]

Some people need to learn the difference between like/disliking a character on a personal level v. a writing level. I dislike some characters on a personal level but I do love their writing and characterization on a meta level and any of my bullying of them is mostly for jokes. Meanwhile there's also characters who I adore on a personal level but abhor the writing of because it feels like their concepts or potential as a character were squandered.

I've said it before i'll say it again when you let your personal bias on a character infect your analysis of them you get mischaracterization. Part of media literacy is seperating authoral intention from reader response and thinking about if anything about the character or their interactions can cloud your judgement of them on a surface level.

For example, in the 2.1 quest of HSR I saw some Aventurine lovers absolutely jump on a hate train for Sunday because in their eyes, Sunday was villainous for his actions against Aventurine and deserved to be put down for it. But, when you stop bastardizing Sunday in an effort to validate and sanitize Aventurine's motives you see the two are actually equally complicit in hurting the other. Sunday did try to turn Ratio against Aventurine and he did cast the whole Truth or Die spell but when you actually critically analyze Sunday and his role in the interaction he is more sympathetic and he makes more sense.

Aventurine was going into the interaction, an interaction regarding the IPC's increasingly aggressive attempts to recolonize Penacony after losing it as a prison planet, bragging about using the horrific murder of Sunday's sister to exploit him. Aventurine has never once hid his intentions, he's sympathetic but that doesn't change the fact he's trying to rip Penacony's freedom away for the IPC. We've seen what the IPC does to planets, no matter how corrupt the Family is, the IPC will be worse without a doubt. Aventurine is a morally grey character, he took the gamble of lying under the spell and he understood the stakes when he did it. Trying to bastardize Sunday in order to try and act like Aventurine didn’t have the autonomy to fuck around and find out is really disingenuous to both characters.

As for Sunday, Sunday is incredibly sympathetic too. We know he’s under crushing pressure by everyone around him to hide things for the sake of public image and we know he’s sacrificed a ton for his sister. Sunday is reverential of Xipe but we see him being actively wary of the Family. He knows there’s a traitor, he knows the Family is rotting with ill intent, he knows Death is on the loose. Robin and him are doing their damndest to handle these problems within their circumstances and we’ve seen their notes! They aren’t ignoring the problem, they’re even trying to get outside help from both the Astral Express and Aventurine. We see the Lightcone of their childhood in an otherwise clinical and impersonal office, one where he built her a toy stage and became her first audience. He cares about Robin more than anything and you see his rage and grief being suppressed yet slipping here and there and causing him to make sloppy mistakes, such as using the Truth or Die spell to lash out at Aventurine when he feels cornered with no control over the situation. When he confronts Gallagher he finally cracks and just… breaks. You see him lose it to the point he doesn’t even notice Death behind him until it’s too late. Despite being likened to songbirds, Robin and Sunday both died quietly in their gilded cages. They are the canaries in the coal mine.

Sunday and Aventurine are meant to parallel each other, they both lost their sister in a gruesome event outside of their control because they couldn’t protect her. Sunday couldn’t protect her from the cage he let himself be trapped in so she could fly free and Aventurine couldn’t protect her because he was too small and too young and too lucky. One is a younger brother and one is an elder brother.

The only major difference between them is who we experience the story through. Aventurine is our eyes for most of 2.1 so therefore Sunday is the one put in the antagonistic role. Antagonists are characters who’s motives and goals oppose the protagonists. Because of this, we have to flesh out Sunday’s character via subtext because we don’t have the luxury of his POV to be blatant like with Aventurine. If the roles reversed, if Sunday was our eyes, I bet Aventurine would be the one getting the flack instead.

[yanderes-galore]

General hc for John Marston thanknyou

Here's my general idea on his behavior, I apologize if things are OOC... I'm new to Red Dead Redemption (This is a general look combining RDR and RDR2 personalities). This evolved into you replacing Abigail in an AU and being romantic instead of romantic/platonic... oops?

Yandere! John Marston Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence, Murder, Apathy, Stalking, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Overprotective behavior, Forced/Dubious marriage mention, Blood, Forced relationship.

I actually feel John may be worse than Arthur at times.

He feels more... apathetic and morally grey than Arthur in his wiki?

He was raised by Dutch to steal, rob, and kill due to being an orphan.

The typical life of an outlaw in the Wild West.

He was actually heavily manipulated in the gang.

He even tried his best to put his past behind him, no longer wanting to be part of a life of crime.

Yet he was eventually dragged back into it.

This concept isn't going to have much of a plot, it's mostly me bouncing around ideas.

John is described as serious, apathetic, slightly impatient, and cynical man...

However, John is also polite and loyal to his family.

As a result I feel John would be very dedicated to his obsession.

A personal idea I have is an AU where John has a family with you instead of Abigail.

He knows his past and hates talking about it... but wants to do whatever he can to provide for/make you happy.

Maybe like Abigail he meets you in the gang and his obsession starts there.

He is a man who is sometimes apathetic to morals and isn't afraid to show violence or pull a gun on another man.

But he never hurts or insults you.

John is loyal and respectable to you.

He is protective of you due to what he's seen.

Since he was 11 he's shot men down for the gang.

He doesn't want to have you live in the gang and eventually tries to marry you and move you to a farm.

Despite him being a horrible man at times... he'd bleed for you.

He wants you to trust him enough to have your hand in marriage... to leave the gang before things get too hectic.

Towards you he's oddly soft when trying to coax you away... like weeks before he wasn't shooting people down for looking at you wrong.

His kisses with you are bittersweet and his hold feels strange.

He seems like he's trying to change, to be a better man for you.

Yet you can tell deep down he's still rugged, still a man who has killed for you and wants to keep you for himself.

You can't tell if he's lying to you... or is genuine.

Before you can figure out the difference he's proposing to you, he's marrying you, he's dragging you off to the farm he made for you.

You think you're flattered.

Yet when you look at John you worry.

He wants to change... you can tell.

But can he ever change that possessive glint in his eyes?

Can he ever truly wash the blood off his hands?

He says he's better.

But when he comes home you smell gunpowder and blood....

He preaches about how he can't wait to have a family with you.

He refuses to let you talk about the gang.

It's just him... all you have is him now.

He only allows him to be near you.

No friends... no other men...

Just him... your beloved husband... who would do anything for you.

Just don't look too far behind the scenes... if you ignore it... you can pretend he's truly a changed man...

If you just focus on him... you can ignore all the murder he does for you... you can even see the tight grip he has as comforting.

[angelgoeslewd]

Hi, love your omegaverse hc about bsd guys 🩷🩷 I wonder how do you view others like Nikolai and Fyodor as Alphas? how would they be like with their omega?

thank u so much!!! i love u now 💕 also— my quest to omegaverse-ify the world is nearly complete

⚠️ warnings: 18+ content, minors DNI, graphic mentions of violence, brief mentions of manipulative behavior, what can be considered non-con behavior, stalking, kidnapping, drugging, murder, and sexual content. 18+ concepts of Omegaverse, like slick, mating, knotting, heats, and ruts, some BDSM concepts for Fyodor’s part — spanking and talk of role dynamics.

📝a/n: i really hope no one expected this to be light and fluffy. i love my dark twisted messed up little men. also this is way too long for how dark it is :/ sorry.

🌟 this work is being REWRITTEN! check back for the completion check ✅ and a new story with extra content!

[Chuuya, Dazai, and Ranpo here!]

Nikolai

unpopular opinion by the general public and ADA, but Nikolai is actually a decent Alpha!! the only downside is that u basically r in terrorist protection program for the rest of ur life 🤷‍♀️ and your boyfriend murders people in his spare time for fun but that’s a different moral dilemma.

but in all seriousness, Nikolai’s Omega is going to have to be all in from the moment they meet. Nikolai is the same. I get the sense that he lives in a very black-or-white world with little to no greys. If you are down for this man, the first couple of words out of your mouth need to be, “Wow,” followed by, “I need to be your Omega.” Otherwise he’s not going to listen to you and just keep rambling about birds and free will, then murder you. This will give him a moment’s pause, where you will get to plead your case on why you should be his Omega or appeal to his Alpha. Make it good. Nikolai will treat it like a game show and weigh the pros and cons.

If you manage to somehow make him blush, through complimenting his… techniques or get slick at his scent, Nikolai will cut the game short and whisk you away to the nearest bed to claim and knot you immediately. You aren’t getting away after that.

He’d also do very well with an Omega who is more straightforward. Being Fyodor’s second hand can be a bit… complex sometimes, and it definitely wears on him more than he lets on. I see Nikolai having his own twisted logic and Fyodor’s style of being dismissive, forcing his own games to played, and being so underhanded sometimes tires Gogol, regardless of how much he admires Fyodor. He wants to have his riddles untangled. He wants to just be told the truth to his face. An Omega who is blunt will get very far with him. He’d constantly bug you and try to make you smile or laugh. He would commit disgusting crimes in front of you just to see a shocked look on your face. He tie you up and force you to solve his puzzles before a timer runs out just to smell your scent mix with fear. He wants to make you show your emotions. He would love that challenge. Even if you despise him, he’ll still try to claim you. If that doesn’t work, there’s always stalking, kidnapping, and Stockholm syndrome. He can also be very manipulative.

In short, Nikolai will decide to claim you in a split second decision, if he feels like something about you appeals him. There’s no dating. At first.

Nikolai is a very clingy Alpha. Very clingy. I am on the verge of considering him a Yandere. Until he fully trusts you (which will be a while, consider he JUST MET YOU AND ALSO TRIED TO MURDER YOU) you’re gonna be on house arrest. By which I mean that you can go anywhere, it doesn’t really matter because he can find you no matter what, but you can’t talk to anyone. He will kill anyone who tries: Alpha, Omega, or Beta and apologize, lying to your face about them aiding your escape or whatever. He would think it hot if you encouraged him or ignored his actions (not him. his ACTIONS), wouldn’t really care of you scolded him or got angry. Just would shrug and remind you that you’re his Omega, his instincts want to protect you (lielielie- Nikolai is POSSESSIVE). And you better believe he’ll know. He will constantly have a portal open, watching you, ready to grab you at anytime. Not even cashiers are safe so it’s honestly better just to stay wherever he’s put you up and order whatever you need.

Yeah, your job? You’re gonna have to quit. Nikolai’s House Arrest extends to quite literally everyone. Get a new phone with no personal contacts. Make your family think you’ve died. Nikolai will even help you. But once you’ve fallen into his hands, you ARE his. He can amuse you, take care of you, he can be your everything, you don’t need anyone else.

After you’ve gain his trust (or the Stockholm syndrome is in full effect, whichever comes first), he’ll be a bit more lenient and let you out of his sight, but would still feel an awful amount of jealousy in his gut if he spies you talking to other people; God forbid it’s another Alpha. He’d lovebomb the hell out of you, then go and kill them when you’re sleeping off the 3 rounds he put you through. He’d really rather be the only one you talk to.

This Alpha loves to have you by him and would keep you there all the time if he could. He feels off when you aren’t by his side. Unfortunately, due to the nature of his ‘job,’ that’s not always the case. And if he knows there’s even a risk of danger, he’ll leave you in a safe place. Usually an extravagant hotel or a mansion he’s bought just for you in an undisclosed location. It’s usually filled with whatever your heart desires, desires you didn’t even know Nikolai knew about. If he’s just filming more propaganda or torturing, he’ll bring you along if you want. It won’t be pretty, but if you’re into that. Or if you just love him enough to want to do whatever makes him happy.

He would fuck you in the blood if you helped him or came on to him during that time. 100% turns him on seeing covered in the sticky, viscous liquid. Would compliment you on how “red is your color.” Nikolai loves an Omega who gets their hands dirty. Might even drive him into a rut.

Despite his occupation and image, when it comes to his Omega, Nikolai can act like a puppy for your love and affection, but it goes back and forward. He’ll beg you for kisses, other times he’ll just take them. He’ll portal in front of your face when you’re in line to check out and smooch you, leaving everyone confused. He’s a waist grabber too. He loves to pull you against him and feel your warmth as he shoves his tongue down your throat, then pull away like nothing happened and continue whatever rant he was on. He’s also a biter. Loves to mark you with bruises and bites, so… invest in a scarf.

He might seem innocent and innocuous and he partly is, but the choices he gives you are never really your own to decide. Like asking you where you want to go on a date. Which is sweet of him to even allow, considering you’re basically his hostage. You can’t say that you’re too tired, because he’ll whisk you away to Paris despite your objections. He does make it worth it though.

He wants to have his hands on you 24/7. They’re so big and warm too, that it’s really hard not to want them on you. He loves hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulders, one hand sneaking up, one hand sneaking down, fingering you until your slick drips down his wrist and then he’ll bite the tip of his glove… slowly pull them off, tasting you and the leather… and yeah. Rest of your plans be damned. You’re on his knot.

You’re the only one (besides Fyodor, who sees every side of everyone) that usually sees Nikolai’s softer side. He’s the type of Alpha who cuddles you to his chest at night, then wakes you up to breakfast in bed. His sadistic side is somehow quelled by you. He loves when you trace your fingers against his chest and can depend on him to be with you through your heats no matter what. He’ll massage your stomach if the cramps get too bad but it does leave you wondering why he didn’t just knot you like any other Alpha would do, your thoughts trailing back to his “free will” phenomenon. Are these his choices or yours? Do you have any impact on what he does or not?

It’s partly part of his own game. He likes to see what makes you tick, but he refuses to break his favorite toy. He walks the fine line between breaking you in and breaking you completely.

His ruts are another story. Without you, he was rather tame and usually just ignored his wants completely. Of course, he finds a release in other ways… usually by murder. Let’s just make that clear. He’s still quite blood thirsty. But with you…

He’s completely unhinged. Gives into his desires in the worst possible way, free will be damned when he has an Omega, his Omega, on his cock. He’s brutal, so be prepared. Takes you doggy style, jackhammering into you, pressing up against your womb until the pressure is almost unbearable, pulling your hair back, you along with it, contorting you into unnatural positions until he finds his release deep inside of you. Refuses to cum anywhere that’s not inside of you. Leaves you scratched and bruised, hips and hole sore with how rough he is. His knot is huge too. Don’t be surprised if your sheets get bloodied.

He’s super tender with you afterwards though. Pampers you like Sigma or Chuuya would, but it feels so much more intense with him, because he pushes you to your absolute limit, physically. Blankets of some endangered creature that are beyond soft as to not irritate your skin, medication that heals you within a couple of days, which you still don’t understand where he got them or what they were. Baths, rich foods, affection beyond what is normal for him (which is saying a lot.)

Your heats are a toss up. He can either be as mean as he is in his rut, or he’s a complete tease. It’s some of the only times he gets to drive you wild instead, so he takes a lot of enjoy in playing a little cat and mouse with you and your pleasure. He’s either overstimulating you or making you beg. But other parts of it are tender and soft. Like when he helps you make the perfect nest. Or when he’s comforting you through the pain. Or when you’re whispering sweet nothings in his ear as he drives into you, pressing your legs back into a mating press, wondering if these are your true feelings or if this is the heat talking.

Despite the murder, which is a BIG despite, Nikolai is probably in second place for best Alpha you could have. Mainly because of the murder. And his conflicting personality. And the other unsavory practices within your relationship. But he takes care of you so well. And he will always protect you.

Fyodor

Let’s be honest here. How the hell did you even get in this scenario. Fyodor really isn’t one to take an Omega or even look for romantic interest in general, so being here is kinda a realm of extreme speculation. Why are you here? What is so extraordinary about you that led this man to you, first of all, and how do you get him to indulge in his most suppressed self? How do you keep him there long enough to get him to actually mate you? You have to really call him to get this far. You can’t be anyone normal. No lacky of his beliefs or regular person. He doesn’t care about that. You’re borderline his soulmate if you are.

If you do manage to actually get him to take an interest in you and not what you can do for him, not a political move or a piece to be played and discarded, you’re seriously in for it. Fyodor is not an easy Alpha to have.

He just barely ranks above Dazai because he can have his moments, but they’re usually pretty inauthentic and more of something he knows he’s expected to do as your Alpha; most of these moments are in public, but you might find him doing them when he’s running on autopilot too.

I’m not going to comment on how you got him to mate you because I honestly am at a loss for how that would even happen. He’s not one to do that, and feeling that urge, let alone acting on it, is something that he would never thought he’d do, even sadistically, to torture his worst enemies by taking their spoken for Omega, because it means he’s bound to someone. He’s now got someone he has to think about, not because he wants to, but because those fucking primal urges force him to. it’s a distraction to him and his goals.

if you match his intelligence, even with minute differences, he would rather see you as something to toy with. if you don’t, you’re something to be used. It’s an extremely difficult situation where you almost have to be playing him and catch him in a mood where the fact of that doesn’t piss him off too much that he immediately tries to kill you. Maybe more of an innocent game? Where you basically are only toying with him because you like him and want to be with him? Very Harley Quinn like.

Fyodor likes super submissive Omegas. And by “like,” I mean that it would almost be impossible for you to be a more pushy or dominant Omega because Fyodor has the whole power dynamic he likes (which is super unhealthy, dude, go 2 therapy) and refuses any other type of partner. A bratty Omega is ok, but you might want to be heavily masochistic if you go that route.

Fyodor loves spanking. I’m sorry but he does. He likes the feeling of punishing you so intimately. And you taking it like a good little Omega, tears in your eyes as you try to apologize or count his spanks. He’s partial to a belt or his hand. Loves making your ass bruised and nearly bloody. If you do bleed, he loves to sweep it up with his fingers and lick it. He also loves the next day, watching you try to hide your winces as you sit down or as the fabric of your bottoms brush against your ass. It gets him wanting to bend you over his desk and make it hurt all over again.

Speaking of his desk. COCKWARMING OMG. He absolutely adores when you’re below him in anyway, love to make you feel weak and powerless, but especially when he’s got work to do and commands that you keep him and his knot in your mouth until he’s done. You obey like Fyodor’s good little Omega would and he purposely drags it out because he’s an asshole. Likes to grab your hair and thrust down your throat frequently because he likes to hear you cough and gag. Then makes you stand on shaky, half-asleep legs while he fucks you. If you fall, he’ll make you start all over again. Yes. That means being away for ANOTHER 8-14 hours.

Besides his violent streak in sex, life with Fyodor almost feels… cold? He’s very withdrawn from your relationship. Thanks you for breakfast, then excuses himself. You have the rest of the day to yourself until he calls for you. I would seriously love to say that Fyodor would be super snuggly and loving because you’re his special Omega or whatever, but I just don’t think that’s really… in character for him. He will have moments where he enjoys your company though. Even without sex. Sometimes, when he’s in a good mood, he’ll sit you next to him, explain some hacking and coding, maybe twirl a strand of your hair between his fingers. But that’s about it.

Kisses are saved for public image and that’s it. He seriously probably never hugs you :/. The only reason he ranks above Dazai is because despite his intensity in sex and his ice queen personality, it’s really less to deal with then Dazai’s constant inner turmoil. Like Fyodor doesn’t have conflict in his mind. He’s super set in his path and whatever decisions he makes on that journey. You at least don’t expect warmth from this man. Unlike Dazai who acts pretty well. Plus you’re loaded and can do whatever you want 🤷‍♀️ idk kinda works for me

Fyodor will come to care about you more though. Kinda like those typical arranged marriages in movies? He becomes fond of you, I suppose the proper word would be. Like he doesn’t want to lose you, but if he does, oh well. He’ll miss your warm heat wrapped around him and delicious cooking. I’m sorry. Fyodor doesn’t know the meaning of love. He does end up referring to you as His Omega and gives you more important duties around his cult. Will smile at you (AND IT WILL BE A REAL SMILE) and tell you you did a good job. He’ll start to wrap an arm around you and hand you his jacket if he notices you shivering. Maybe even kiss the side of your head a little bit.

Ok. Maybe he’s a bit soft and a bit in love with you, but he will never admit that to even himself.

I really can’t see Fyodor having ruts due to his medical issues. He probably even has problems getting it up sometimes, which is fine, he still enjoys watching you suffer. Or pleasure yourself for him. Whichever. But if he did, they would probably only last a couple of days and actually make him really sick. He probably wouldn’t even be able to knot you. IM SORRY BUT IM BEING REALISTIC.

for p0rn reasons; if he wasn’t anemic, they would be extremely violent. He would be more apt to keeping you close without letting on that he likes you. You don’t realize that most people you talk to end up executed by Fyodor’s own hand. You don’t notice that he’s being walking around with you all day. You don’t realize how he’s glaring at everyone you pass. You do, however, notice that he’s jumping you the minute you get home and actually kissing you. It’s rough, with tongues and teeth, but he’s kissing you. His teeth graze your claim mark again, and he’s biting down, deepening it again. His hands around your waist, pushing you into the bed where he knots you, over and over again. Pushing his cum into you and making you hold it. Fucking you through every one of his knots, even though it burns. Fyodor is a bitey Alpha so you’ll have to clean up a lot of blood after his mating session. You almost wonder if he’s trying to absorb your blood or something.

Your heats will almost never line up with his. If they do, it’s by absolute pure chance. Fyodor is too withdrawn and he stays that way. He can let you in but it’s never for too long. He takes care of you with a knot and makes sure you have food and water, but it’s almost clinical the way he deals with it. Leaves almost immediately after, instructing you to call him when you need him.

(…Later, he’ll sit with you on the bed as your body feverishly aches, stroking the sweaty strands of hair from your forehead, never getting dirty himself but enough tenderness to make you realize that he’s there with you.)

[sir-adamus]

What kills me about the Monty’s Vision ppl is that V3 set up the end of the school era. No matter what happens after that they would NOT return to be anime school waifus. Ppl rave about how the show tanked after V3 but my genuine question is What Did They Want To Happen? Thinking the show should’ve ended is one thing and I’m sure many claim that as their reason for hate. But so many ppl say the show Got Bad and I’m like buddy there was no like. Show. We were JUST getting to the Salem is the big bad stuff when V3 ended there are plenty of shows about teenage girls who show off their butts and date the boring main man character. We finally have a female lead show with a female villain that isn’t just “fight her with random light” we have world building and family conflict and ACTUAL morally grey characters who both live on and sacrifice themselves. We have character growth both from the mains and the sides. We have an Actual story of learning and lying and telling the truth and forgiveness of both other parties and the concept of forgiving yourself.

So what the hell did they want? They would’ve been happy if “a group of white cis men” wrote about teenagers getting naked in the cold and needing the male characters to save them? Like what show did they actually want what specifically are they not getting and why do they think THAT is better than what we have

they wanted the show to be this

[gunpowder-arti]

man i always hated the fanon arti so much too can you go off about why the "pebbles adopts arti" concept sucks (i also agree on this by the way)

okay right !! uh. this has been in my asks for a month sorry i have this thing called 'adhd'

well. okay first of all, (as i see it) five pebbles is not a child and arti is not a good person. i have, in fact, made two posts about those.

more than that, though--i really, really hate the interpretation of arti as motherly, or at least... the popular fanon for them is that they're female, right? which i have my own issues with. Ohhh Yes They Are A WOmen Because Mother (They Have Children And Care About Them Therefore Womanm)

^ that is not to accuse anyone of misogyny, or say that arti as a woman is wrong or bad, just that . Well i am not fond of the fact that... when you go into youtube comment sections (secret tenth circle of hell), or other such places, arti is the only slugcat that people will insist is female (as opposed to the vast majority of others, who are nearly always he/him'd)

anyways. it invents this whole new made-up fanon dynamic, which shoves the popular male character into the role of Child and the popular(ly headcanoned as) female character into the role of Mother. and it near always, as i've read it, terribly waters down both characters to the point where it just pisses me off--the trope usually makes arti Good and Motherly (and, in several instances i've read, just entirely glosses over the fact that she [because they're like always a she in these] is Maybe Not A Good Person) and pebbles Innocent And A Child. which. you know. once again, i wrote a whole post about that.

i'm sure it's possible to do the trope well, without watering down either character. but like... most people don't?

honestly, maybe i'd be less defensive if it didn't always have arti as a woman. or maybe i'd be less defensive if people still portrayed pebbles as an adult, or arti as morally very dark grey at best. or maybe--you get the idea.

the thing is, a slugcat imprinting on an iterator as a weird slugpup, in much the same vein as irl cats thinking humans are just weird cats who are really bad at being cats, isn't necessarily even a bad idea--it's just... the lack of variety, and the general leaning on fanon tropes I personally hate, that makes me dislike this particular trope.

[separatist-apologist]

I love the way you write Eris. I think he’s just a super interesting character in general. But I was wondering what you think happened between him and Mor? If you had any theories or have seen any that you liked? I haven’t read all of your fics yet so if you talk about it in one of them sorry to ask you again!

I have answered this once in the past, but who knows what I tagged it as. Feyre was in Mor's head, and so I do think things went down EXACTLY as Mor saw them. I doubt she was lying in her mind to deceive Feyre. Additionally, Mor feels real fear and is genuinely upset when Rhys goes behind her back to work with Eris.

The fandom, imo, should grapple with why they're willing to automatically believe something sinister happened/ Mor is a liar just because Eris said there was more to the story than Cassian knew. That doesn't make Mor a liar- it just means Eris was keeping secrets and she's not a mind reader. Regardless of whatever Eris's motivations were (and I suspect that he left her there to keep his father from forcing him to marry her, which is hardly noble just fyi), she's not wrong for hating him/being afraid of him.

Eris has also cultivated a reputation as being as brutal as his father. A lot of the anti-Mor/pro Eris sentiment relies on her KNOWING this is a mask but how is she supposed to? It took Cassian 800 pages to decide that perhaps Eris was not as awful as he let on, and Eris certainly did nothing to help Cassian think so.

Two things can be true: Eris harmed Mor that day, along with whatever went on during their engagement (even if they were both unwilling) AND Eris's reasons for doing so were to spare them both. That doesn't absolve Eris of the harm he caused, nor is Mor obligated to forgive him. This fandom understands the concept that women don't owe men forgiveness, their time, their attention UNTIL it comes to Mor. And then she owes all these men something, and is vilified for not holding their hand like she's their mommy.

And finally- this fandom does not love morally grey characters the way they say they do because you can like/stan Eris and acknowledge he's done harm. But too often the harm gets erased in order to stan him/absolve him/place him in a morally superior position to the IC.

Literally free Mor from this fandom. What has she ever done wrong besides not like any of these men?

[lasnevadascryptid]

I'm gonna say something that might be controversial but I'll say it anyways.

Ahem.

Ranboo's lore is unoriginal by dream SMP standards, not just as a concept. Naturally it's unoriginal by concept standards other people have come up with this idea before.

But on the dsmp he is not the only person to have this lore, and this issue for lack of a better word is why I LOATH to bits people scapegoating CC dream for whoever the CCs didn't or don't communicate. He may have owned the server but the lore wasn't is idea and largely didn't partake in lore, and from what I understand didn't overlook it either.

My impression from looking at fans talk about the lore behind the scenes stuff was that Wilbur was to some unknown extent in charge. But as I heard more stories and rumors about the treatment of the server's playerbase towards their fellow player, it became clear neither was true, and it was always that responsibility to communicate with the other players fell upon to the individual CC to do so, not Wilbur and certainly not Dream as many seem to claim.

Even your favorites are guilty of this, you should scapegoat Dream to ignore the issue just because they're your favorites and Dream is easy to punch down on and pin all the problems of the server on. Hell I rarely see any drama go by without Dream being dragged in as blame partly blamed on him regardless of we know or not he's involved or to blame. He is partly to blame, but not solely like I see a lot of people imply.

The miscommunication problem should have been called out a lot sooner, evidence was kinda always there, but it's now way too late, and i genuinely think some good would have happened if it was addressed.

For example:

Fundy and Ranboo have the exact concept for their lore. And it's never addressed. This is lead to a lot of interesting parallels and themes between the two that are never acknowledged. If it wasn't for the fact the way they discussed their lore and ideas for it, I'd assume it's intentional but it's very clearly not and I think their lore suffers for it.

What is Fundy and Ranboo's lore? Well, person has a supposed subconscious other version of themself with powers the consciousness version doesn't have, and causes the person to have issues sleeping, and generally causes them bouts of severe mentally health issues and "spells" of unreality and disassociations.

This subconscious self claims to the same person as the awake conscious self, and claims to genuinely want to help, but does so in a way that comes across as scary, unhelpful, strange and unusual, their actions and methods concerning. They also claim not to exist. Also, the more this subconscious self takes over, the worse the mental health of the waking conscious self gets.

In both cases this leads the person to another person with a smile motif often known for being shady or morally grey at best, others of the server often keeping their distance from this smile man. Though when they met this smile man, it's in a dream, and it may not even be the real person, the real deal, but rather something conjured up by the subconscious self to serve a purpose of sorts.

Especially now on the QSMP it's plastered everywhere to point if I wonder it's meant to be subconscious programming of sorts and for whom.

Besides a man with a dubious moral code and smile motif, they also come across a mysterious entity. For Ranboo, his Enderwalk ARG calls this entity Z. Just Z. And as for Fundy, it's not named, but there is a shadowy cloaked figure that chases him until he wakes up.

In both cases, they eventually give into this subconscious self seeking help and guidance, hoping for answers from the self proclaimed subconscious version of them directly.

And that's kinda it. Nothing comes from the similarities, and as far as I can tell. They aren't intended to be this similar. I WANT to theorize that they are similar because Z/"Nightmare" is lying to Fundy and Ranboo for some unknown reasons.

But it's basically confirmed that's not the case, Ranboo implied he didn't really know what they wanted from their character having changed their lore and even species a lot, eventually settle on: full blooded enderman that's just a chimera/half albino, and he's not possssed by anything it's genuinely a subconscious self that trusts dream for some/no reason???

And it's too similar to be Fundy somehow was predicted or copying Ranboo in the sense of again, Ranboo kept changing what he wanted the end to be, hell he changed how his death was play out, Wilbur confirmed it was gonna be self sacrifice to save Tubbo only for it to changed to be by Sam's blade.

I largely believe things could have been different if they just communicated, especially given how to some extent unintentionally Fundy gets replaced by Ranboo as Philza's grandson, as in Philza rejects Fundy in lore and disowns him only to turn around and allows Ranboo to live with him and Techno in their secluded fuck off away from everyone else cabin when they shunned nearly everyone else. Additionally Ranboo's being Fundy's last ally prior to Las Nevadas.

It could have been very interesting. It's clear as CCs they talked but also clear there similarities by chance are not intentional. The only thing that hints that I'm wrong here in my eyes is Z talks to Fundy in ender only for Fundy to realize what it means, meaning CC fundy knew about the ender walk but to what extent?????

:(((((((((((((((( stuff like this makes wish things... turned out differently. I genuinely wanted a s2 of dsmp. But seeing the CCs either not show up the ender dragon fight and or slowly quietly leave. Just. Ugh. The community thrives just bittersweet seeing the CCs move on to greener pastures.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

LWA: I'm going to be reactionary today (not to you), because I've now come across this persistent if small subset of viewers who are outraged that Aziraphale directly asks Crowley for things in S2. This despite S1's plot engine being driven predominantly by Crowley directly asking Aziraphale for things, one of them unjustifiable, and getting him to say yes to all of them. (S1 has Aziraphale indirectly asking for HAMLET, paint removal, and handcuff removal.) It's parallel structure that uses the dialogue shifts to open up new avenues for characterization...

Anyway, to avoid just grousing, I'd like to tie this into the question of greyness. Because despite our haste to endorse Crowley's position on living within grey areas, the script insists that he is not always correct or even good at it (any more than Aziraphale is always correct or good at it). Moreover, while I don't think the series has any profound or even accurate engagement with the concept of yin-yang, the fundamental point that the two characters embody necessary and complementary forces is crucial to the series' argument. (It's not an accident that a yin-yang symbol appears right behind them in the coffee shop during their ep1 conversation.) So, Crowley's asks:

The Arrangement: the Arrangement is a pragmatic exercise that enables them to engage in their favorite activity, namely, being lazy. The high comedy of this is that being lazy is the most moral thing they could possibly do in the GO universe. The full moral implications of the Arrangement are not visible to either character in both novel and series, although Novel!Aziraphale is much more aware of how it fractures the Good/Evil binary than TV!Aziraphale is. I know that the fandom likes to think of Crowley's work as being somehow noble, "giving humans choices" and all that, but the Nuremberg Defense he drops on his foot at the end of the novel calls this interpretation into question. Doing their jobs is "messing about" by the novel's moral standard, and the series is heading in that direction by the end of S2. Humans make choices just fine without Crowley intervening. In other words, the Arrangement is an apparently grey choice ("that would be /lying!/") that leads to a moral absolute in the novel and appears to be heading in that direction in the series--namely, that supernatural interference with human free will is wrong, full stop.

Averting Armageddon: AKA treason. Everything in the script obviously endorses Crowley's request and Aziraphale's agreement with it, although TV!Crowley has a potentially fatal moral lapse along the way (see #4). The plot structure of s1 is yin-yang in action, as Crowley loses most of his narrative drive after ep3 and Aziraphale correspondingly gains it.

Holy Water 1862/1967: for Aziraphale, the resolution to the Holy Water argument in 1967 is a true grey decision in which there is no good resolution from his POV, just a less bad one. It might have been less grey if 1862!Crowley had managed to restrain his immediate emotional response to Aziraphale's refusal and just denied that it was a suicide pill (cue the end of s2ep6 for Crowley deciding the emotional marriage proposal was a better option than relaying what he had discovered in Heaven). 1967 doesn't resolve the problem--yes, Crowley responds to Aziraphale's obvious pain, but is he responding in the way Aziraphale needs him to?--and the characters apparently never return to it. But the point is that Aziraphale can, in fact, negotiate grey areas successfully, if at great cost to himself.

Kill the Antichrist for me, as a treat: at some point you're going to ban me for discussing this! Here, both the novel and series are emphatic that /there is no grey area/. You cannot kill children, no excuse, doesn't matter if they're the Antichrist, still can't kill them. What's interesting is that TV!Crowley is 100% in the wrong here for committing a hit-and-run against Aziraphale with a trolley problem, but Aziraphale's initial response is /also/ wrong: it's "I've never killed anything before," not "killing children is wrong." Aziraphale falls victim to the trolley problem because he's /not/ in full right/wrong binary mode here! Crowley screws up by misclassifying a non-grey problem as a grey one, while Aziraphale also screws up by substituting a subjective objection for an absolute one. Ironically, that is, the problem in that subplot is not that Aziraphale is too different from Crowley, but that he's tiptoed too close to him. Meanwhile, Crowley shows himself unwittingly capable of risking Aziraphale's life--which is what he's doing here--for his own convenience. Like the Holy Water argument, the underlying problems in this conflict are never resolved.

And now Aziraphale in S2, where Aziraphale is learning how to ask for things:

Help with Gabriel: Aziraphale's decision to help Gabriel is an act of radical charity that brings him close to holy fool status, I think. It's possibly dangerous, there's no real reward, and Gabriel tried to murder him (erm, yes, that); then again, Gabriel-as-Jim is in full factory reset mode and is entirely helpless. Like a child, in fact, so see #4 above. I don't think "liking" or "not liking" Aziraphale's choice is relevant to the moral problems raised by the entire situation, which are extraordinarily difficult and stretch across multiple philosophical, theological, and political domains--what do you /do/ with a bad person in trouble?--and left for the viewer to chew on. My own reading is that the script endorses Aziraphale's decision to help despite the total lack of benefit to and potential danger to himself (he's still unsure how "awful" Gabriel/Jim is). Crowley, by contrast, does not ever appear to fully understand what Aziraphale is doing. His agreement is not an agreement, since it involves concealing the actual reason for his willingness to participate, and his initial response is to just abandon Gabriel/Jim. Of the two, it's Aziraphale who negotiates the extreme greyness of this particular grey area with more success. You can certainly argue that Aziraphale should have been more attuned to Crowley's anxieties, but then Crowley's decision to give away the whole darned body swap suggests that maybe Crowley should also have listened more to Crowley's anxieties.

Taking the Bentley: this exchange is Aziraphale reverse-Crowleying Crowley. In the Gabriel ask, Aziraphale is clear but doesn't do a good job arguing his case, and Crowley resorts to glowering silently. When he convinces Crowley to let him take the Bentley, though, he tries out the same kind of experimental button-pushing that Crowley does in s1ep1. No, he shouldn't have changed the Bentley when he drove it, but it's unclear how many of those changes are the Bentley's doing, and he had no way of knowing that Crowley could feel the alterations until Crowley yelled at him. A more significant problem is that it's not clear if Crowley fully /hears/ what Aziraphale is truly asking, which is for Crowley to acknowledge that they are sharing each other's lives. It would be easier for Crowley to hear that if Aziraphale would just come out with it, but...

Come to Heaven and be an angel again: now, /this/ request is definitely wrong, and Crowley correctly refuses. Crowley's refusal is in contrast to s1 Aziraphale, who sacrifices his own boundaries to Crowley in the Holy Water incident. (If you can see where I'm going here, between the Holy Water and the child killing, I think the problem is not Aziraphale refusing to give Crowley things and then giving in, but Aziraphale needing to learn that sometimes /Crowley/ should get an absolute no.) This is the bad side of Aziraphale's binary thought process on full display. The decision to go to Heaven on its own, though, strikes me as much more in tune with his decision to help Gabriel regardless of personal danger or potential reward, and the extraordinarily ambiguous closing shots are about as grey as you can get, right down to the lighting.

i can’t tell you how excited and trepidatious, in equal measure, i got at the words “going to be reactionary today”, LWA✨ - but it usually means some excellent Hot Tea is heading my way though, and this is no exception!!!

(i would never ban you for discussing your Favourite Bugbear, perish the thought!!! but i may well start cataloguing them in my favour for an apology dance, so proceed with caution)

at some really interesting points in the story, i think crowley betrays his own narrative, and the image that he holds of himself. i noted something - and this is quite tangential to your ask but humour me - from the coffee-shop scene, specifically in the part where bohemian rhapsody (BR) is playing at the time of him questioning aziraphale about what’s going on, and if he needs help. 

BR is a swift but a fairly complete story that follows the relatively basic hero-narrative structure. rundown to help illustrate my point: hero has issue, hero decides to solve said issue, hero goes on adventure, hero has conflict of conviction, and hero prevails. well, i don't think it's particularly accidental (because - of course it probably isn't) that the dialogue from "listen, something big is going on in heaven", up until crowley downs his caffeine nightmare, is overlayed with the section of BR that seems to fit best with the adventure mark of said structure, and that the rest of the song is missing. i'll come back to this in a minute. 

i like the note that crowley loses a lot of his narrative drive after ep3, but i'm wondering if it potentially happens earlier than that - specifically in ep1? his (as we know more solidly now from s2) tendency to insert himself as the hero? to my mind, his 'hero-narrative' in s1 is derailed quite quickly after inception, specifically in the main antichrist plot. he’s given the antichrist and delivers it (issue), wants to stop armageddon and enlists his counterpart to help (decision to resolve) and they decide to meddle in warlock’s childhood to ensure that the apocalypse never comes to fruition - so, by this point, we’re pretty much on par with the adventure mark in the structure.

but then we get to the bench scene, and crowley offers up the dilemma of the hellhound and… record scratch. aziraphale is obviously alarmed by this detail, one that has a direct bearing on how the rest of the narrative will go, and that crowley wouldn’t think/remember to share it at this point. crowley tries to claw it back, says that it won’t matter; if they’ve done their jobs right, because it will be sent away unnamed. he doesn’t consider that whilst they may have influenced the kid, the kid is ultimately going to do what it likes, and potentially unravel it all anyway.

aziraphale however does propose this eventuality (which by-the-by also serves to indicate perhaps how much aziraphale might understand humanity a bit more than crowley does - that a human child is of course going to name a stray dog and want to keep it), and crowley instead jumps straight into a solution that involves tempting aziraphale to kill a child. this is, loosely, crowley’s mark of having a conflict of conviction - that their plan will work - and he chooses a solution to that. whilst that solution would resolve it, it doesn’t take into account the world, and people, around him, nor indeed the consequences (harking back to our last chat).

what occurs thereafter is arguably aziraphale leading the overall story with his hero-narrative instead - from the point that he shakes off crowley’s suggestion, and proposes instead to stop the dog himself - and crowley’s grasp on his hero-narrative disintegrates (albeit the two re-converge in ep6). the precipitating events in s1 would not have occurred if aziraphale had not reached this proposed solution, or at least not in the way we ended up seeing them - as you said before, LWA, it’s highly doubtful that aziraphale would have survived, in any way, killing an innocent child. 

(we see him distraught at the prospect of lying to god to save job's children, and bowing to the 'inevitable' of falling (despite him knowing that he likely did the right thing) - for him to actually kill the child antichrist would be bad enough, but to find out later that warlock wasn't the antichrist to begin with? aziraphale would surely have bypassed falling entirely and walked himself straight into hellfire)

the coffee-shop scene in s2, imo, suggests much the same; crowley learns of the “naked man” (issue), downs coffee (decision to resolve said issue), and abruptly leaves the table to go play hero (adventure). the rather aggressive overlay of BH, specifically the part of “will not let you go (let me go)” suggests to me that this is where we, and crowley, need to anticipate the upcoming conflict of conviction beat, and ask: what will crowley decide to do?

so we head into the bookshop, he discovers gabriel, and the So Did I argument ensues... and crowley resolves to storm out. he doesn’t explain to aziraphale why helping gabriel is a hard-no for him, and - again, as far as the narrative indicates - essentially abandons him. it isn’t until he learns of the book of life that he even resolves to go back to the bookshop, and fakes an apology to insert himself into the narrative that aziraphale is on… but what would have happened if he hadn’t learnt of the book?

that’s considerably unknowable, but regardless - the missing last verse and outro of BR arguably spells it out for us. by crowley walking out, abandoning aziraphale and betraying the narrative he set himself on, the result would have been the exact same as what we see at the end of s2. just like those lines in GOFLB later on in the episode, i think it’s rather telling that they were cut/left out.

so - in s1, crowley attempts to drag aziraphale along on his story where he gets to play hero, and immediately cocks it up with the antichrist ask, alienating aziraphale for the majority of the narrative up until aziraphale reconciles that heaven is not on the side of humanity like he and crowley are, and he immediately goes to bring crowley back into the fold. in s2, crowley drives himself back into the narrative a bit more successfully than his attempts in s1 (with calling aziraphale for check-ins, meeting up at the bandstand, etc) but arguably the damage has been done in s2, and aziraphale and he continue to be at odds for the rest of the show - not necessarily in ways that relate specifically to the gabriel/jim plot, but crowley abandoning aziraphale sets the tone for what's to come.

the thing is - and i may be skewered for this - i don’t think crowley operates in the grey as much as he likes to think he does. it’s all very well that he intellectually understands beyond a moral-dualistic concept, but he doesn’t always put his mouth where his money is:

it's fairly clear to the audience that he cares for aziraphale at the very least, and is concerned largely by his wellbeing and safety - and yet won’t tell him important information that would make aziraphale amenable to, or more receptive to, crowley playing hero and asserting his protectiveness. that, and the fact that he completely forgets to safeguard aziraphale when confronting jim in ep5.

he considers it wrong to hurt the innocent or cause them suffering, but drops graveyard guards down a huge shaft in a completely disproportionate response of self-defense, and only remarks that he might have “slightly overdone it” (oh, and attempts making his best friend kill a child - arguably still innocent regardless of their origin - so he doesn’t have the stain on his own conscience).

he is vocal of his vehemence of heaven/hell having any interference in his existence on earth - and that of aziraphale’s - but does not once stop to consider the moral implications of messing about with nina and maggie, or with warlock... or with any other humans as a supernatural entity, for that matter

as an example of the other way around - crowley obviously hates gabriel being in the bookshop, and the risk that it confers onto aziraphale's safety. and yet, in ep3, he is clearly showing some level of acceptance, patience, and camaraderie with him. this is probably subconsciously showing his recognition that jim is entirely innocent, but i dont think it's out of crowley suddenly understanding aziraphale's charitable, altruistic perspective in ep1 on protecting him; instead, it's perhaps because his level of thinking still slips into the binary: jim = good, gabriel = bad... something that i'm personally not convinced is completely fair in the first place (but that's a different post).

that’s not to say that aziraphale is any better - of course he’s not, and in some instances aziraphale is even worse in this regard - but the hypocrisy of crowley’s assertion that he exists beyond heaven and hell’s machinations is manifestly unsupported by his own actions and choices which, as he confirms in job, he has the free will to decide for himself.

i’m not quite sure how it’s possible to miss, in this respect, that regardless of interpreted historic trauma, that crowley (speaking specifically about tv!crowley here) is altogether not entirely a good person, grey or otherwise. he doesn’t really demonstrate a whole lot of that greyness - balance - with any great consistency. his decisions and attributes appear to be entirely based on his own agenda; saying in job that he’s on his “own side” is probably as close, for me, to true self-description as he gets as of the end of s2.

aziraphale on the other hand just doesn't seem to grasp what the greyness actually means. his intellectual analogue is very much on the dualistic, binary scale, and it's certainly not something he truly understands by the end of s2 either. whilst i do think he's able to separate heaven from god, and separate them both from angels, and then separate himself from all of it, he still holds to the belief that there is superiority in the absolute concept of good.

his comment on hell being "the bad guys" notwithstanding (which, given the events of ep5/ep6, is not a wholly incorrect assessment to be fair to him), it's his assertion that heaven remains the side "of truth, of light, of good" that gives pause. whilst he may acknowledge that it hasn't embodied this in some time, he at least believes that it was always meant to (which, to me, is odd, if you consider that 'heaven' was probably never meant to be good before the fall - because hell didn't exist to given heaven that level of definition - and was just meant to be). but aziraphale may have always considered god to be good. this is again not something supported in the narrative whatsoever; at 'best', god is completely amoral.

and even more interesting, as you said LWA, is that aziraphale is the one of the two of them that seems to land himself in predicaments that are grey, and is able to navigate it better in certain circumstances. those circumstances - the suggestion of killing the antichrist*, the giving of the holy water, the protecting of gabriel/jim, and returning to heaven to make a difference there - all pose a dilemma to aziraphale where it pulls into question what he fundamentally believes in morally. the fact that by proximity to crowley in s1 that he essentially betrays that (goes to shoot adam, gives crowley the holy water), but in s2, after some distance has been established between them, he sticks to his metaphorical guns (protects gabriel, goes to heaven), i think shows the true essence of where their dichotomy lies.

*i personally still consider this to be a grey decision, because i can see why crowley suggests it; the weighing up of one against the many. the issue i cannot reconcile is the tempting aziraphale into doing it instead of crowley... imo, don't suggest a grave, horrendous action if it's not one you're prepared to consider doing yourself, or at least communicate why you can't do it... but that's my personal take.

[sweet--sweet--muffin]

Ben 10 Aliens As Their Own Characters (Original Series)

This has been on my mind for a looooong, long time and I finally decided to share this here.

I’ve seen some cool concepts for the “Ben’s Omnitrix glitched out and caused the aliens to have their own sentience” AU (like @thisunknowngenius’ take on the AU for example, as well as @justmenoworries​‘ glorious @omniglitch-au​) and I thought of sharing my own take for this.

Gonna call this AU of mine Ben 10 Alienated.

Let’s start with the Original 10 here because I have no idea where to start with the others lmao.

Wildmutt - Considered as the family pet, he’s just like any other normal man’s best friend. He always strive to be close with his family (especially Ben) to show how much he loves them.

Four Arms - an extremely violent, short-tempered, and very brash berserk who tends to be quite unkind to others around him, especially towards the people who dare hurt his loved ones. He seems to think that punching things, including people, is the best way to solve problems and his hot head can sometimes get him into trouble.

Grey Matter - tends to be boorish, and sarcastic with a dry sense of humor. He usually has a stoic frown, though he does smile from time to time. Grey Matter is very honest and blunt about what is on his mind. His brutal honesty isn't so much out of a sense of morality, but because he doesn't want to waste brain space by making up a lie. Regardless, he’s willing to help his family with any problem that only relates to knowledge and tutoring.

XLR8 - an energetic and upbeat Kineceleran who loves to do all sorts of bizarre things and dislikes "dull" things, like reading and studying. He’s a menace in the pranking field, but thankfully, his pranks are all relatively harmless. XLR8′s also a good sport and loves doing some competitions with his siblings. Well, unless you’re cheating then you’re really asking for a pie in the face.

Upgrade - literally the nicest alien you’ll ever meet. Upgrade possesses emotions and acts more like a human than a normal Mechamorph. He’s a bit shy but is generally a very kind-hearted individual who speaks in a polite manner and is sensitive to others' feelings. Despite his typically shy behavior, Upgrade occasionally demonstrates more assertiveness, confidence and can stand up for himself without resorting to anger (Heatblast joked that Four Arms should take notes about this). He’s pretty much seen with Grey Matter in most cases as he is more like an assistant of his.

Diamondhead - If someone were to look up “father figure”, then Diamondhead is sure to appear in those results. He is very responsible and talks formal. He rarely loses his nerve and can maintain clarity in any situation. He’s like the loving father figure of Ben, Gwen and the aliens and has a closer relationship towards Max due to sharing the responsibilities of being the parent figure of the fam.

Ripjaws - Not exactly the most intellectual member of the aliens, as Ripjaws is clueless, easily confused by complex words and misinterprets insults and figures of speech. He is also very gullible, often easily believing things people say and is surprised when others tell him that they're lying. In general, his mood can shift very quickly. He can bounce between bored, to happy, to angry, and to happy again. Despite his easygoing and aloof personality, Ripjaws is a good-natured and well-meaning alien.

Stinkfly - the very definition of “lazy” and a good-for-nothing couch potato of the family. He may be laid-back, but he’ll do anything to help the world in need and protect his family. Despite this, there’ll be times that he can be cynical towards others, even to the aliens and Tennysons.

Ghostfreak - he’s quite hard to approach given his quiet, deadpan and distant demeanor. But that’s because Ghostfreak is simply not good at expressing his emotions and would rather do so through his poems. It does help with giving him ideas on how to express his emotions more. Regardless, he has a heart of gold to the people he truly trusts; his one big family.

Heatblast - he’s a sporty athlete with a fiery personality and is always eager to challenge someone when he’s being challenged. Heatblast is one of the more mature aliens unless he ends up getting himself caught into the childish antics of his siblings (mainly XLR8).

[does-this-look-inanimate-to-you]

Just ran across your blog looking through the LSOH tag bc I’ve recently gotten into the musical lol!

Also couldn’t agree more with the DEH hate and literally spent like an hour and a half explaining why I think the show is bad last week to my mom lol 💀

I personally think that the show would be much better as a dark comedy. It would be like if they leaned into the comedic tone of Sincerely Me for the whole show and really focused on showing that Evan is high key a terrible guy. Like make the show a little more like Heathers or LSOH where there are unapologetically bad/evil characters but the plot is still able to lean into really funny moments. The set up for the story is genuinely so dark but they try to make Evan seem good and the story “uplifting” (it fails miserably at both). I think if they wanted to follow such a dark plot (like wdym Evan literally pretends to be a dead kid’s best friend to get closer to his sister who he has a crush on???? 😨), I think it would be much better if the tone they went for wasn’t so like weird mental health advocate core and was dark instead. However, I also think that if the whole show was serious, it would be boring so adding in comedy is my fix for that lol.

All this to say, I wanted to ask for your thoughts on the concept of dark comedy DEH :D

dude i TOTALLY agree with this. i think heathers is a great comparison here. is it really messed up to have the jocks attempt to rape their classmate, or for veronica to cover up an accidental murder with a suicide note? yes, absolutely. but it's handled in a way that is both funny and uncomfortable. that is what deh should have been.

evan is an awful person. not only did he lie to hundreds of people about someone he barely knew after said person killed himself, he also shared his first kiss with his crush on the bed of the guy who killed himself--her fucking brother. he should not be treated like anything more than morally grey, like veronica and seymour. granted, their crimes are a bit more severe (involuntary manslaughter as opposed to just lying) but you get my point.

i understand the message the show is going for, with the whole "you are not alone" thing, but it has no place in a musical centering around a kid who lies about being close to a kid who killed himself in order to gain status and romantic affection. it just doesn't match up.

anyway, welcome to the little shop fandom! i've been here for six years. you won't escape.

[sophieswundergarten]

Yet Another Sophie Live-blog Reaction to Reading "S.O.S" (Chapter 14)

@nobody33333333 I love this chapter so much!!! I love all of your stuff, but this was so neat!!! Absolutely beautiful :)

So, without further ado, my insanely unhinged notes on how Bods has yet again created a masterpiece:

The Title Is Scaring Me

However, reading one of the Great Jeffers Scenes right off the bat made me quite happy

Erika!!

(Yes. I will continue to cheer for every single minor character whose name I manage to recognise :>)

Oh boy, the magic scene

How dare you make me Feel Things over Curtain’s stupid magic tricks

Something about “Martina didn’t deserve the Brain Sweeper. Not because of them” is just so good!! It perfectly parallels things that the Society has said/thought before, and I really like how you added it right here

And we once again enter the spiral otherwise known as “Curtain Rationalising War Crimes to Himself” SIR. You can’t wipe a child’s brain and call it a good thing!!

“But fortunately for Martina, being betrayed by a member of the Wetherall family was a situation with which Dr. Curtain could empathize.” Oh goodness. I see we’re pulling no punches this chapter.

I really love how you explain Curtain’s little magic trick in practical terms, as well as why he did it. Because, even though it’s warped and kind of problematic, he still loves Kate

Also, his concept of “the principle of the matter” and how he keeps his promises is such an interesting detail to include in his thoughts!!! I like how it communicates his morals and loopholes, because with that “letter of the law” kind of thinking, of course there are some things he’d let slide

THE MISUNDERSTANDING. THE WAY CURTAIN IS TRYING TO COMFORT HER IN HIS WEIRD SICKO WAY AND KATE IS TERRIFIED BECAUSE SHE THINKS SHE’S GOING TO LOSE SOME OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN HER LIFE. AHHHHHHH

Just. “a mix of confusion and terror” is the perfect way to describe all of Kate’s responses to Curtain being all wacky at her

Ah, yes. The “Milligan Surrendering Bit”. This marks the first time of many (Aside from seeing your message that you were updating) that I had to walk away and screech and wave my hands about before coming back to continue reading

The greys are so bad at their jobs, honestly. Even if he’s lying, you should probably react with more of a plan than “Okay, sure, lets take this guy in!”

(At least, that’s my opinion. I’m sure they’re trying their best, and Milligan appearing out of the bushes would be disconcerting to anyone)

OH. OHHHHHHHH MY WORD. Milligan doing all the same stuff he’s done so many times before but he doesn’t know it. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. And we’re so close to him getting (At least some) of his memories back, too. I don’t know how to feel but most of it is just insane amounts of anticipation

I love the exchange of "[W]hat exactly do I want you for?” / “Everything.” / “Everything?” so very much. I enjoyed watching it on-screen, but the subtle details you add make it so much better, especially because the written format you’re using allows you to see what the characters are thinking about each other. Stupendous

ALSO. THE PARTS WHERE CURTAIN GETS ALL WORKED UP BECAUSE HE THINKS NICHOLAS IS PURPOSEFULLY TRYING TO HURT HIM (Especially when they involve the Wetheralls) ARE RIDICULOUS AND FANTASTIC. I AM LOSING IT. I’M GOING TO RELEASE TERMITES IN YOUR BASEBOARDS. AJKDJKDSKJDFJKDSJKDS

Oh, and he knows that Milligan cares about Kate so much!!! The dramatic irony of Curtain (As the kind of “main character”) and the audience knowing all of the things, and then he just refuses to elaborate on his creepy vague statements is both beautiful and infuriating

“Well, Curtain figured, traitor or not, the least he could do was indulge his former friend. For old times sake. After all, Curtain had the time to spare, and for as much as he liked to think of himself as the superior performer, he couldn’t deny that Wetherall’s stories always had a bit of a dramatic flair to them. Curtain supposed there was nothing wrong with a little entertainment before his moment of triumph.” This paragraph is gorgeous. I love it. I love it, I love it, I love it. It just made me feel such heartache and hopefulness at the same time. Curtain's pain and Milligan being just on the edge of remembering, oh my word. I don’t have any clue how to put words to the exquisite mix of emotions reading it creates in me.

MARTINA MARTINA MARTINA MARTINA MARTINA

It’s really interesting how you write Martina’s reasoning, with her telling herself that if people got in trouble, it was because they deserved it. She didn’t get in trouble because she worked hard, and that's how the world worked. (I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that her parents don’t seem to value the work she puts into things and how she might feel like she has to earn appreciation)

Oh no. Jackson and Jillson. This can go one of two ways and I don’t feel like either of them are good

Once again, your J&J dialogue is spot on and fills me with very happy wiggles

I don’t know if it was intentional, but the fact that Jackson is the one who says “or us” both times when they’re saying Martina wouldn’t betray them is so sad

THE CONFLICT. THE EMOTIONAL TURMOIL. The way that Martina is wrestling with doing what’s right and betraying the only friends or security she’s known up to now and the way that Jackson and Jillson don’t know how to form independent opinions but they still care about her and it is just a huge mess but I love it!!!! AH

I’m really proud of Martina, and of course the way you detailed her decision is wonderful, but I am still so sad for them

Okay. Bods. Listen to me. The way that you can write such gut wrenching angst and sorrow and have so many heartfelt moments, but you also pepper in things like “(which apparently included the lengthy task of painting perfect rectangles onto a warehouse floor, lots sneaking through the sewers, and testing the believability of several disguises and accents, all of which Wetherall was happy to demonstrate)” is flabbergasting. That’s such a delicate balance, and somehow you execute it perfectly each and every time. I love how this fic is a huge mix of things, because I know that I will never have to face overwhelming despair, but it also has enough intrigue and complexity that I am always invested. You are unfathomably talented.

MILLIGAN AND GARRISON OH NO I’M GOING TO LOSE IT ONCE MORE

And more hints to Garrison’s opinions on psychics!!! Oh goodness gracious, I want to shake her. Just talk to someone for heaven's sake. Ask for help!!!

The memory fragments you keep slipping in for Milligan’s point of view as extraordinary and I love them but also I am going to have to start shredding bedsheets now

AND THE FACT THAT THE LINES ARE FROM THAT FIGHT. I knew immediately what scene it was, and the “Where was your precious conscience then?” just about had me sobbing on the ground

But, you know, par for the course, this chapter made it so much more painful

“Milligan almost took a step back as Curtain approached him. He felt a sensation creeping up on him. A familiar sensation, one that told him to run.” followed by “Curtain did not bother to watch as his men dragged Wetherall to the Brain Sweeper. There was no need. He had already watched them do it so many times already.” was like being decked in the face twice over in the span of thirty seconds

And Curtain!! Who is still grieving his friends because he can’t let himself process one (1) single emotion in a healthy way ever!!! And so he has fully committed himself to the idea that what he’s doing is the right decision that he has basically no sense of reality at this point. It’s such a weird whiplash effect to go from the mostly reliable narration of some of the other characters to Professional Liar Curtain's inner monologue

I wonder if he truly didn’t think it would cause Garrison problems to sweep Milligan or if he just had so much going on he figured it was worth the risk to trust her with it

ASKJFHDSKJSLDKGASJKDFJDSK NO!!!!!!!

Garrison and Kate is one of the worst potential relationships we lost in my opinion

(I say as if it doesn’t change all the time depending on which bit I’m reading)

Oh, and they took her bucket. And Garrison doesn’t know why it’s so important.

THE CABINET.

Oh, yes!!! YES!! Garrison, oh my goodness I am so excited. She may not be the best person, but she’s trying her hardest and I have been waiting to see what she would do for ages. You’ve made her into such a compelling character. Oh great heavens. **Incoherent screaming**

StickyStickyStickyStickyStickyStickyStickyStickyStickyStickySticky

“Curtain looked at Sticky in surprise. The sequence was right, but Sticky had messed up the first part. He had ordered people not only to not acknowledge that Curtain’s commands were in their heads, but to ignore to them entirely.” I am infatuated with how you add these little details, because even though they might be what would logically follow, you give them such a sense of belonging in the story and it makes the whole thing a lot richer.

Oh dear, every time Curtain starts thinking about which of the kids are spies he goes along the lines of “Of course! It was so obvious!” and somehow he’s still always off

“As for Reynie Muldoon, the boy clearly had some social issues and was a bit of a rule breaker” Why does he keep judging this child so harshly

GARRISON’S RUNNING. I THINK SHE’S ABOUT TO GO DO SOMETHING INADVISABLE

Isaac!!! I was holding my breath waiting for this since you mentioned him and I am so excited!!!

Aw man, he’s such a goof.

You don’t know how happy I am that you resolved poor Isaac being sent out into the woods

“-Martina doesn’t like you. Reynie lied to you so that you would give him his keycard.” For some reason this line stuck out to me. It’s so… visceral. It’s very blunt, but it’s true. And it’s showing a much more vital side of Garrison that she’s been hiding from for years, and I’m ecstatic about her little (and big) character breakthroughs

“ “But maybe one day I’ll learn to love again,” the thirteen-year-old boy mused sadly. “And maybe the next time things will work out.” ” Who is this child. Why is he like this. I have so many questions but I love thim.

In a way, he’s so mature, and the way he reacted to Garrison has a lot of sensibility in it, but also he’s thirteen

OKAY

OKAY LISTEN

I STILL CAN’T PROCESS THIS BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS AMAZING FANTASTIC LOVELY WONDERFUL AWESOME GLORIOUS EXTRAORDINARY PART THAT YOU WROTE

I AM TRYING MY BEST BUT MY MIND DISSOLVES INTO LITERAL GIBBERISH WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT SO FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING THIS OUT SOON I’M GOING TO HAVE TO PUT THAT PART ON HOLD

BUT KNOW THAT I LOVE IT AND I WAS SCREAMING SO MUCH LAST NIGHT AND I STILL AM SCREAMING RIGHT NOW

(I do love that you added Mr. Oshiro being like “I’m an actor!” in the middle of that)

The Jackson and Jillson stuff almost killed me. I don’t know how I’m going to survive the rest of this fic when you try and give me a heart attack every few minutes

YEAH MILLIGAN

I need you to know that I legitimately started laughing out loud as soon as the clapping happened

I was giggling like a madman, alone in the dark, and I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it

“Milligan frantically looked around him, looking for the sight of Kate Wetherall (which was the only person Milligan assumed Jeffers could have been referring to), but of course, found no one.” Yet another hugely artistic and lovely line that I want to hug extremely tightly

I adore how once again Milligan is completely distracted and Does Not Care In The Slightest and just knocks Jeffers out and keeps moving

Peak “rival” relationship

HHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Milligan and Garrison and Milligan and Garrison and Milligan and Garrison and Milligan and Garrison and Milligan and Garrison and Milligan and Garrison and Milligan and Garrison and Milligan and Garrison and—

AND SHE KNOWS. SHE KNOWS HE’S KATE’S DAD AND I WANT TO HUG HER

Oh. Oh, and she thinks he’s going to hurt her. And she thinks she deserves it

This is the “I think you need better friends” / “And I think my friend deserves better” thing all over again and I’m going to cry

THEY’RE BOTH CONFUSED AND SAD AND HURT AND THEY CAN’T COMFORT EACH OTHER

AND SHE TELLS HIM

SHE TELLS HIM AND I WASN’T EXPECTING THAT AND ONCE AGAIN I HAVE FALLEN PREY TO THE NOBODY SIGNATURE LAST SCENE GUT PUNCH

“And this could all be a lie, a distraction, there was no point in Milligan getting his hopes up when he had a mission to fulfill, and… if Kate was his then he…he wouldn’t have abandoned her, he could never have forgotten her…could he?” Oh, hello. Thank you for ripping my heart out again

I do really love how you worked the bit about Milligan’s hair being short in

(Also because I cut my hair and donate it every couple years, so that was kind of a neat personal connection for me :>)

“Milligan’s eyes began to fill with tears, realizing just how much he might have lost. A daughter who grew up without her mother or her father, a love he had lost and couldn’t even remember. A part of him didn’t want so much tragedy to be real. And…it might not be. These memories still felt so far away, it felt like he was remembering a dream he’d had once. But to another part of him, it felt right. Like was the truth that he had been searching for all along, and whether it was unpleasant or not didn’t matter because it was real. It was his life.” There are too many absolutely majestic snippets of your writing. I’m sorry for copy-pasting so much of your own work, but it’s driving me up a wall.

Oh!! OH!! And she gives him memory revival tricks!!!!

But they can’t help him.

AND HE CAN’T JUST LEAVE. BECAUSE HE STILL CARES ABOUT HER.

BUT. BUT GARRISON STILL THINKS SHE’S IRREDEEMABLE. 

“ “No one deserves this,” Milligan insisted, “including you.” ”

AND THEN YOU BRING THE DREAM THING BACK AGAIN

And it’s in Isaac’s little speech!! And Jeffers!!! Oh man, I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it, but you and your metaphors and your themes and your motifs and just your writing

Poor Garrison somehow always ends up alone. Oh, I want Milligan to be able to talk to her!!!

Also can you please stop causing my molecules to disintegrate because your fic is so good? I’m going to freeze every butterknife you own in a block of ice

Bods!!! So, so good!!! I know I completely skipped over Isaac and Lindsey and the kids and everything, but this was already, like, five pages long and that particular scene sends me into such a state of elation that I can’t articulate a coherent thought at the moment. I am so happy that I had the time and ability to read this chapter as soon as it came out, and I thank you once again for sharing your genius ideas and beautiful writing skills!! It made my whole week, and I just cannot get over how talented you are :)

[navree]

What's "grey" about Show!Aegon? Without tgc trying to add depth with his acting, show!Aegon on paper seems to be one-note villain

I don't think anyone's referred to Aegon as "grey", since that tends to apply to the concept of "grey morality" as it pertains to fiction, which is a very specific thing (generally involving characters who make you question the concepts of good and evil as well as societal norms on what's acceptable and what isn't through their actions) that just doesn't apply to Aegon. Aegon does have hidden depths that make him more than one dimensional, and I actually disagree that it's only due to TGC's acting. He's doing fantastic in the role, and is bringing things out that a lesser actor might not have been able to do, and he's gotten certain things into episodes to enhance Aegon through his own pushing, there are things in the writing that isn't just TGC acting. Aegon lying on Driftmark for both Aemond and his mother in spite of everything going on is in the text, Aegon's conflicted feelings of whether or not he's loved by his family are in the text (though it was brought to the forefront with the improvised "do you love me" line), Aegon's feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness that he hides with debauchery are in the text, Aegon being genre aware enough to know that the Iron Throne will bring him misery and not being power hungry for it is in the text, Aegon considering himself a sort of older brother figure to all the kids in his age range and being able to be on good terms with them is in the text, Aegon apparently giving Helaena that bug she's playing with at dinner as a present is in the text because it's certainly never brought up in any acting. And seeing as I haven't seen the scripts for the show and how detailed descriptions are varies from writer to writer, it's entirely possible that a lot of the physical actions we see from Aegon, trying to push Alicent away from Meleys, slamming Luke down on the table, getting all lovingly intense with Aemond in the street, nodding encouragement and "go ahead" to Jace while he's training Vermax, are also all in the text.

[jurassicpark1990]

3, 11, 13, 16, 17, 24

[3. already answered]

[11. already answered]

[13. already answered]

16. What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

i struggle with the concept of over-hyped because it depends entirely on who you're listening to? but i guess it's probably the night circus

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

fire with fire by destiny soria

you know how before i said i didn't like urban fantasy much? i'm starting to think i was lying lmao i had quite low expectations for this so maybe that's why it was such a pleasant surprise. it's not super intense but i enjoyed it for the sister vibes it explored and also because dragons. i didn't love the ending but overall it was quite fun!

a lady for a duke by alexis hal

i am not a big romance girlie but this was such a fun romp! i adored the main characters (some of the side characters were super obnoxious tho), loved the historical setting and vibed with the overall queerness of it all. i really enjoyed how this approached transphobia with it being present but not the main focus

24. Did you DNF anything? Why?

i think these are the ones from this year but might have missed some

the charm offensive by alison cochrun

a romance book i picked up from the library on a whim and it was just bad, which isn't surprising because i don't like romance as a genre very much. but i remember really hating the way anxiety was written in this, i'm not saying it wasn't realistic it just didn't vibe with me at all

vicious by v.e schwab

if i had picked this up when i was 16-21 i would have loved it but alas i am an adult and this just sucked. i think my main gripe was that the pov character was morally grey but there was absolutely no reason to like or support him. also it was soooo pretentious lmao

the unlikely adventures of the shergill sisters by balli kaur jaswal

i also picked this up on a whim from the library because i like books about sisters but unfortunately this was about rich sisters who hated one another, nothing to like about that

[butwhatifidothis]

Yeah, not anymore. Because the writers basically course corrected what USED to be an informed trait. It's told time and time again with shit like 'his smile doesn't reach his eyes' and that 'he's a schemer' and all that. Except in the golden deer route (Or any route really) he never did any sort of 'schemeing' or backstabbing or anything that even made him the SLIGHTEST bit morally grey. And now, he's fixed!

Oh, yes!

Like how Disney should have "fixed" Scar from being a lion in the Lion King and put him back to being a baboon in the Lion King 2, like he was originally drafted to be?

Because that's how you write things, right? You make a draft, completely write out something that ends up deviating heavily from the draft, and then go back to the now incongruent draft when going back to write more stuff for the story again, right? Even when it doesn't make any sense anymore as to why such-and-such thing is happening now, and goes against established facts of the canon you actually wrote out?

Oh. Wait. No. Of fuckin' course you don't do that shit.

Because the draft is now not in line with the shit you actually fuckin' wrote.

They did not write Claude being the kind of character that will do the sort of things they first drafted for him; he ended up being far kinder, and far more morally sound. Going back to an unused draft to base his character off of in 3Hopes isn't "fixing" him, it's drawing on shit that did not happen and outright goes against the canon that they actually wrote out. If they slapped on Edelgard being able to stop Divine Pulse in 3Hopes because that was what was originally drafted for her to do, that'd be shitty writing because it directly goes against what was established in 3H - the same idea here. Claude was first drafted to be far more conniving and dubious; now, while he's still scheming and cunning, he's no longer the conniving and dubious character he was first drafted to be.

And Claude's smile not reaching his eyes? Now means that that he isn't being sincere with his emotions, instead of him necessarily being actively dubious as an overall character - which, guess what, is what is shown in the story! Because he flat out admits that he was, at first, just trying to weasel up to Byleth so that he could use their power for his benefit - and my, what a morally sound thing to do, amiright? Not schemy at all! And you know what else is morally sound? Lying about who you are to your friends you genuinely care about for literally the entire time you've known them and they've known you! And never telling them about the plans that directly involve them, to the point that they literally expect you to do that! There is nothing wrong with these actions whatsoever, they are totally and completely morally white actions that no one could possibly have a problem with at all.

Oh. Wait. No. I'm sure many, many people would have a problem with that. Even if he does it for legitimately understandable reasons. And, oh, what's what's what's that I hear? An action? That is usually seen as bad but can be understood as to why it's done so that it's not completely bad despite its normally negative concept? Why, that... almost seems it it's morally ambiguous!

Because, guess what? Morally ambiguous doesn't automatically mean killing people, or erasing history, or declaring war, or any other such big grand actions like that that affect a lot of people. Sometimes it's lying to those who trust you, because you can't bring it in you to fully trust them to actually trust you. Sometimes it's using people who have no reason to mistrust and so follow your lead, just because they have something you think will help you in your goal to help others. The ramifications of the action don't have to be so resounding in order to be morally grey.

Or, hell, for bigger actions, making Gloucester think that his territory is being attack so that your allies could tread through his lands unhindered is very scheming of Claude. Or tricking the soldiers stationed at Merceus into believing that they were receiving reinforcements (right after the Empire took a major loss at Gronder, mind, and thus need to fortify their defenses) when in fact it was Claude's army infiltrating the fort to attack from the inside - are blatant lies and manipulation not scheming anymore?

Like yeah haha "Claude did nothing wrong" but only in comparison to what the other three comparable characters (Dimitri, Edelgard, and Rhea) did. He was not, in fact, squeaky clean and with no faults. To say that he "never did any sort of 'schemeing' or backstabbing or anything that even made him the SLIGHTEST bit morally grey" is straight up incorrect. On a personal level, Claude fucks up a lot with people, and for reasons that don't justify his actions but make the player sympathetic as to why he does them, lets the player understand why he does them.

3Hopes!Claude saying that he thinks duties and obligations and positions of power come from Crests and that the Church forces them onto those that don't want them goes against his own background as someone whose Crest did not secure him the duties and obligations and position of power that he literally came to Fodlan to take up that 3H establishes for him. 3Hopes!Claude siding with whoever's winning the war goes against his actions in 3H where he never sides with Edelgard even on CF when she has Byleth and is winning and instead always sides with/tries to side with the Kingdom and Church (when he does choose a side at all) who are always the underdogs of the war.

Shit like that ^ up there and plenty of other examples isn't, like, tweaking his character a bit so that he shows off a part of his OG character that got overshadowed, or something similar to that effect. This is two characters whose actions and ideals are directly clashing with each other but are being forced into one inconsistent, messy character. It's almost like there's a reason why you don't go back to the discarded/unused drafts of a work, precisely because of shit like this

[panlight]

I’ve been re-reading the Twilight series and I would have loved if Stephanie Meyer took a more horror based approach to how the vampires looked. They have cloudy eyes because the contacts they have to wear hides their weird eye color. And they have to constantly change them between classes because the venom dilutes them. Their skin has a grey tint and it’s corpse like. Their hair is slightly dry and limp. People are put off by their “beauty” because it looks so unnatural. I feel like the Cullens looking like sleep deprived supermodels waters down the vampirism.

Right?!? And the thing is, SM tiptoed up to this idea. Maybe she even dipped her toe into it from time to time. She wrote that people were subconsciously afraid of vampires, that they looked 'other.' There are certainly elements of horror in the books.

But it's the over-the-top sugary sweet Perfect Piece of Forever ending that, for me at least, ruins any sense of horror that she was bringing into it. Bella's a supermodel, not a living corpse. When I read about the cottage in the woods that SM/Bella literally described as being so fairytale-esque that you could just imagine Snow White walking out with an apple in hand, or a unicorn nibbling on the rosebushes I was like, BUT. YOU. ARE. A. VAMPIRE! You broke Seth's collarbone like that morning. You attacked Jacob. You killed an animal and drank its blood. You chased a couple of hikers to kill them and drink their blood! But no, it's a fairytale, "Edward had always thought that he belonged to the world of horror stories. Of course, I’d known he was dead wrong. It was obvious that he belonged here. In a fairy tale. And now I was in the story with him."

Girl, what?

What was I reading for three books? What about souls and damnation and burning, painful thirst and barely-tamable instincts and no sleep, no dreams, no rest from the waking world? What about frozen, never moving forward? What about the agonizing three day transformation (although Bella only burned for two, she even got off light there)? Your new family and supposed friends having to fight to the death to wipe out an army of newborn vampires? James? Victoria? The Volturi and their torture twins?

Snow White?! Unicorns?!

I guess the horror angle can still work if Bella is an unreliable narrator or she's in absolute denial. I guess it could be both--she's lying to us AND to herself? But that's obviously not SM's intention, she means this as a happily ever after, an eternity of bliss as a vampire.

Although, to me personally, Bella loving being a vampire so much is itself a bit horrific. There's something so sinister about the concept of being a 'natural' at being a vampire. At being 'born for it.' Again, I don't think SM means it in a bad away, I think it was a way to let Bella have her cake and eat it too, and to absolve Edward of any sense of guilt over her turning, "Look, she's not like you or Rosalie! She loves it! She'll never resent you!" But I'm so conditioned by vampires stories, and other stories that deal with immortality, that I'm like "but it's morally BAD to want that. It's monstrous to want that. Certainly monstrous to relish it." But it's not framed that way here. (And playing against those expectations could be interesting, but there's no commentary or depth here. It's just Happily Ever After.)

So tl;dr: I think the horror is there if you want it, you just kind of have to ignore Bella's POV and every comment SM has ever made about E/B and their happily ever after. But hey, death of the author, right?