#tom does his 'a girl could start to wonder' line and gregs like ok so that means he likes me as a friend i guess?

[divorcedtom]

history will say they were very good friends

[5bi5]

Ok so I want to further elaborate on my thoughts re: tomshiv being a genderswapped version of the 1950s housewife/breadwinner husband trope (complete with all the toxicity that comes with that). Keep in mind here that I'm going to discuss some outmoded gender roles, and that I of course don't believe that this is how things should be or necessarily are in marriage – just the stereotypical/conventional way marriage was portrayed in midcentury America.

We see Tom positioned in the 'wife' role again and again – he's the romantic, the homemaker, the subservient one. Notably, this doesn't seem to be something that's ascribed to him by other characters or external forces; he consistently refers to himself using feminine language, while nobody else does (at least until the very last episode), and the 'feminine' qualities/role he has are all just innate parts of his personality.

First, let's dig into the language that Tom uses to talk about himself. He says "a girl could start to wonder" about Greg spending time with Kendall, compares himself to "an old lady that's had a baby somehow" with regards to the size of his bladder, tells Shiv that they're "in sync... like a sorority", and tells Kendall there's "bad news about [his] hymen ... it's gone", a line which was originally supposed to be said by Shiv in a different scene.

Interestingly – and, I think, unusually for a character of his demographics – Tom isn't referring to himself as a girl/woman in a derogatory way. In fact, none of these examples really have much to do with the more traditionally feminine aspects of his character; he just happens to be using feminine language in a fairly neutral way.

Tom also compares himself to Nero, specifically with regards to his actual marriage (to Shiv) and his figurative marriage (to Greg). Although Tom doesn't mention this, in his wedding to Pythagoras (no, not that Pythagoras), Nero dressed and acted as the "bride". While planning his wedding with Shiv, Tom offers to take her last name, something that a woman would traditionally do for her husband.

The only time that I can recall in which somebody else uses feminine language to talk about Tom is in the season three finale, when Roman tells Tom that Shiv is going to "make him carry [their baby]", and that he'll have to "squeeze his Tommy tits for man milk". This is both a typical off-colour Roman joke, and probably says more about Roman's view of Shiv than of Tom, but it also relates to the next thing I want to talk about: Tom as the domestic/homemaker.

Tom seems significantly more invested in his wedding to Shiv than she is. She responds to his proposal with "yeah, whatever", and while he cares deeply about the wedding planning, even describing himself as a "groomzilla", she brushes him off when he tries to ask her opinions, and then she makes a huge decision (moving the location of their wedding to England) without consulting him purely to appease her mother.

(This shot kind of made me think of this:

although all car scenes kind of look the same)

Honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised if Tom had produced a decades-old scrapbook of wedding ideas and talked about how "every little girl fantasizes about her dream wedding" – a moment we've seen versions of on shows like Friends (with Monica) and Community (with Annie). In season two, Tom comments on the way their apartment is decorated, but Shiv seems indifferent. In season three, we learn that Tom wants a baby while Shiv doesn't – until she eventually changes her mind to spite her mother and agrees to freeze embryos, leading to the Tommy tits comment from Roman. Tom cares about the things that women are traditionally expected to care about – weddings, babies, interior design – while Shiv is indifferent or outright opposed to participating in these things unless it's to serve her own ulterior motives.

In addition to the domestic/homemaker, we also see Tom as the romantic, another traditionally feminine role. He's constantly affectionate towards Shiv in season one, attempting to cuddle with her, playfully flirting with her, and telling her how much he loves her. He wants the perfect wedding; he suggests they run away together and live an idealized neo-pastoral life in New Zealand; he does his best to support Shiv when she asks for an open marriage, but it's clear that he only wants to be with her, and would prefer that they were committed to each other. He suppresses his own feelings in the name of love, telling Shiv that it doesn't matter that she cheated on him, that she wants an open marriage, that she's going for the CEO spot even though she knows he wanted it, because he loves her and that's what's important, even though he is clearly hurt and distressed by all of these things.

This also reflects the third feminine/housewife role Tom fulfills: the subservient. He bends to Shiv's will, swallows his own feelings (among other things) to allow her to have what she wants, and even directly takes orders from her once she becomes his boss. In short, he fills the old vow to "love, cherish, and obey" her. This is one of the most outdated and toxic parts of the stereotypical 50s husband/wife dynamic – the idea that the woman should give up all control over her own life, and act essentially as a servant to her husband and children. While Tom's domesticity and romanticism are arguably good qualities, his subservience tells us that he has no agency in his own relationship, and by extension in his own life. Tom is trapped, without any real control over anything he cares about, and copes the way that many actual wives throughout history did – taking drugs and plotting to kill his spouse. Like Nora Helmer in A Doll's House, Tom comes to the slow realization that being devoted to somebody who sees you as a brainless plaything, doesn't appreciate the work you put into your marriage, and is willing to throw you under the bus with no consideration, isn't actually romantic at all – it's kind of a nightmare scenario.

If Tom is the neglected and emotionally abused housewife, that makes Shiv the brash, overworked husband. Shiv, trying to make it as the only woman in the boy's club that comprises both her family and her work, presents herself as masculinely as possible. She wears pinstriped power suits, cuts her hair short between seasons, and makes an effort to be as cold and calculating as possible. She prioritizes her work over everything else, and has an affair with a colleague while neglecting her husband – sort of a variation on the sleeping-with-the-secretary trope.

She holds all the control in her sex life with Tom, regularly turning him down for sex (as is, of course, her prerogative – she's under no obligation to have sex with him if she doesn't want to), but clambering on top of him when she returns home from DC after not sleeping with Nate, using sex to change the subject after she confesses to wanting an open marriage, and arranging for a threesome that he clearly doesn't want and only backs out of at the last minute.

Shiv's upbringing and the sexist environment in which she lives and works has forced her to become emotionally unavailable, to express disinterest in girly things, and to value power, wealth, and sex, and disparage those who don't have those things (such as how she regularly teases Roman about his difficulty having sex, something which he presumably confessed to her in search of advice or consolation). Similarly, men in the 50s (not to mention now) would likely have been conditioned to avoid vulnerability, and to seek a prestigious job and a beautiful, demure wife.

While Tom compares his betrayal of Shiv to Nero killing Poppaea (which Tom errantly describes as Nero "pushing his wife down the stairs"; the more accepted story is that he kicked her to death while pregnant), it is infinitely more understandable and sympathetic to view his actions not as those of a brutal emporer horrifically murdering his wife, but as an emotionally abused wife finally breaking out from under the thumb of a domineering husband by any means necessary.

[sparklemichele]

Kissing On My Tattoos Part 8

KOMT Masterlist

Everything was a blur. People started to fill up your bedroom as Calvin called family and Mary the PR coordinator. They were trying to talk to you to make you feel better, but you only heard noise.  Mary called all major smut publications and internet news source and told them Tom Hardy will sue them if they chose to publish the pictures. Your phone was ringing off the hook as Charlotte had also leaked your number and people were calling for comments. By the end of the day it looked like everything would be alright and you guys were ahead of the situation when Calvin got a Google alert. He gasped when he looked at the alert. An online publication not caring about the warning, published the photos. You wanted to die. The pictures were now for everyone to see. Tom called you immediately.

“I’m sorry love. I will go after that site with everything I got. I’m also moving out. Charlotte knows she fucked up. Do you want to press charges?”

“No Tom she is pregnant. I don’t want her having your baby in jail.” You sighed with fatigue.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. What’s done is done. I’m just tired of the whole situation.”

Your next call was your boss who in the most tactful way told you that you were fired. You knew you would be if those pictures were leaked. You had no idea what you were going to do for income. You were glad you had a hefty savings to get you through until you could find another job. You would also if necessary, lean on Tom for financial help. As the day came to an end you crawled in bed holding your stomach. Calvin asked if you wanted to see the pictures and you told him no. Mary had already reached out and told them to take them down or Tom would sue. By the end of the day they were down but it did not matter. What was once on the internet stays on the internet. No telling how many people had saved the photos to their phone. You closed your eyes and cried yourself to sleep.

Months later

 “It’s really nice Tom.” You smiled into the Facetime screen as Tom showed you around his new flat, he rented. He and Charlotte was officially separated but that didn’t stop her from calling you and yelling obscenities. You had to change your number twice due to her. You had not really looked for a job as you were soon going to give birth and you wanted to stay home with your baby girl. You were pleasantly surprised that you did get a few offers. You guess some magazines like scandals. Maybe it would draw more readers. You told them you will began talks after you had your baby. You smiled as Woody jumped on Tom’s lap as soon as he sat on his new couch. He had come to the states twice since he left but you still missed him immensely.

“I’m going to get someone to come decorate the room for our little girl. Charlotte said she doesn’t want the baby over here without her supervision.”

“Well she has that right.” You told him. “Make sure you ask me first before you and the designer make any decisions on her room.”

“I will. When will you visit London?”

“I have to get approval from my doctor. I have an appointment in a couple of weeks.”

“Ok. I’ll call you later. I drunk a shit ton of water and need to hit the loo.”

You laughed as you ended the Facetime call.

_____________________________________________________________ 

Your doctor gave you permission to visit across the ocean, but they advise to only stay a week. You were dangerously close to your due date. You called Tom to tell him the happy news and when you would be arriving, but he had tears in his eyes when he answered the Facetime.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” You asked panicked.

“Woody died.” Tom sniffed and wiped tears from his face.

“Oh, sweetheart I am so sorry. I’m catching a flight out tomorrow to see you. Will you be okay till then?”

Tom nodded as fresh tears ran down his face. You knew how much Woody meant to Tom and you knew the loss of his beloved dog devastated him. You were glad you were going to see him tomorrow as he should not be alone. You comforted him the best you could, and he seemed better once you both hung up. You were glad you were heading to the UK tomorrow.

 _____________________________________________________________

You and Calvin bickered as you both carried an army of luggage through the airport. You were not surprised to see the paps following you. You ignored their invasive questions. You were glad for first class as you can stretch your aching feet. Your ankles were swollen, and you were so uncomfortable and always hot. You made yourself comfortable as best you could, ignored Calvin’s yapping and went to sleep for most of the flight.  

Tom himself met you at the airport. You saw the look of surprise when he saw Calvin with you. You might have forgot to mention that detail to him. You knew London’s press can be ruthless and you wanted your best friend with you. He greeted Calvin with a hug and pulled you in a tight embrace.

“You look so damn beautiful.”

“Thank you. How are you feeling?” You asked caressing his cheeks. You heard the shutters of the camera, but Calvin stood in their direct line of sight.

“I’m better since you are here.” Tom grabbed your luggage and escorted you to his car. Once safely inside and on his way to his apartment you asked where he buried Woody.

“I buried him in the backyard. I plan on staying at the apartment awhile.”

Finally, at his new apartment Tom was excited to show you the baby room. You had made all executive decisions on how the room would look.

“Calvin you can take the guest room.”

“Obvi.” Calvin snide rolling his eyes. Tom chose to ignore him and took you to the baby’s room. It was breath taking. You had the Disney Princess theme with the majority being Tiana from The Princess and the Frog.

“It’s beautiful Tom!” You gave him a hug and a kiss on the lips. Tom gave you a toothy grin.  Tom’s cell rung and he excused himself to answer it. You busied yourself in your daughter’s room looking at all the stuff he brought. Your child would not want for anything. You sat in the rocking chair he brought and rocked yourself.

“This is cute!” Calvin squealed when he walked in the room.

“It is isn’t it. I love it.”

Tom entered the room. “That was my mum. She wants us over for dinner.”

You tried your best to hide your lack of desire to have dinner with his parents. You knew you would have to meet them eventually, but you were hoping it would not be this trip. You must have not done a good job hiding your emotions because Tom said you didn’t have to go.

“I will go. I need to meet them eventually. I just know how much they love Charlotte.”

“It will be ok. They know how much I love you and will not do anything to upset me.”

“Ok.” You got up from the rocking chair.

“Show me the rest of the place.” You told Tom taking his hand. Tom was all smiles as he showed you and Calvin his new home.

 ____________________________________________________________

You were a nervous wreck on the way to his parent’s house. You wish you could take something for your anxiety. They seemed pleasant enough as they greeted you and Calvin and escorted you to their living room.

“Have a seat while I finish up in the kitchen.” Tom’s mother Elizabeth told you as she eyes your stomach. You found you and Calvin were not the only guest as Tom hugged a man that was already in the living room.

“Y/N, Calvin this is my friend Greg. Greg this is Y/N and Calvin.”

Greg shook Calvin’s hand and hesitantly shook yours. You could tell instantly he was not a fan of yours. You had a feeling this will be a long dinner. Greg held a conversation with Calvin and Tom and ignored you. You just sat back willing yourself not to get a headache. Maybe you should not have come. Tom’s father Chips came in the living room telling you all dinner was ready. You sighed as you knew you were leaving one torturous situation for another. You sat between Tom and Calvin. You needed the shield of the two men in your life you loved.

“So, you are having a girl I hear.” Chips directed at you.

“Yes, we are.” Tom answered for you. You all engaged in as pleasant but strain conversation.

You were starting to become very self-conscious the way Tom’s mother was looking at you. You wondered did she give Charlotte the same stare down when she got with Tom. Tom and Charlotte also got together due to infidelity so why the fuck was she giving you the side eye and not her son. You noticed Greg was side eyeing you too. Chips was the only one who seemed genuinely happy for you and Tom. You were seriously uncomfortable during dinner. You were ready to go and told Tom you were tired. Tom relayed to his parents that he needed to get you home.

“No dessert?” Elizabeth asked eyeing you suspiciously.

“No mum we need to go.” Tom told her as he got up from the table.

“Well let me pack you some. Maybe you can eat it later.” Elizabeth got up from the table and headed to the kitchen. You got up also and told Tom you will be waiting in the living room. You needed to breathe. You sat on the couch and let out a long sigh. You closed your eyes and rubbed your belly.

“I saw your nudes. Not classy at all.”

Your eyes opened to find Greg in the living room. You let out another sigh.

“What do you want?” You were done biting your tongue and trying to be nice.

“I don’t think you and Tom should be to together. It’s not right.”

You got up from the couch and walked up to Greg.

“Does Tom know how you feel? Did you tell him you were looking at nude pictures of the mother of his child?”

“The whole world has most likely seen those pics.” Greg defended.

“You didn’t answer my question. You are his friend. You should not have clicked on the pictures!” You noticed your voice was raising. “What’s going on here?” Tom asked walking into the living room holding a plastic food container. Calvin walked in too carrying a container as well.

“Nothing.” Greg quickly said as he backed up away from you.

“Y/N?” Tom looked at you. “Your voice was raised. Did he say something to you?” You can see Tom getting upset as he looked at Greg.

“No. Everything is fine Tom.” You lied. Tom looked back at Greg and Greg gave Tom a hug to reassure him.

Fuckin asshole!

Calvin eyes you with pursed lips. He knew something was up. Tom’s parents entered the living room to say goodbye.

“It was nice meeting you.” Elizabeth said giving you a strain hug. Why did she even bother you thought to yourself. Chips hug was more genuine, and he made you smile. Tom hugged his parents as you and Calvin eased your way to the front door.

“You have to tell me what happen.” Calvin whispered in your ear. You nodded. Greg walked up to Calvin and shook his hand.

“It was nice meeting you mate.” He said. He looked at you and extended his hand. You ignored it, turned around and opened the door to exit the house. Tom was coming up behind Greg and did not notice the exchange.

 _____________________________________________________________

You sighed with relief once you all were heading back to Tom’s place.

“I know something went on with you and Greg. Are you going to tell me?” Tom asked looking over at you quickly before his eyes were back on the road.

“No.” You told him. Tom started to interject but you told him you did not want to talk about it, and he let the matter go for now. You turned your head to look out the window. You could not help but smile as you knew if you told Tom he would go off on Greg. It felt good to know you could hurt Greg if you wanted to. You would hold on to what transpired between you two until you needed it. Tom grabbed your hand and kissed the back of your hand. You turned around and looked at him.

“I love you.” You told him squeezing his hand.

“I love you too.” He kissed your hand again and your smile widened.

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