#tommy thinks some mean things about nancy in this one

[momotonescreaming]

STWG Daily Prompt: Posession [Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three]

And so Tommy settles back into the ugly chair, sat diagonal from Steve. He can see the visible relief on his face, the way his whole body sort of melts back into it, sinking into the pillows. His hand almost hovers in the air between them for a second, as Steve lets it hang there, and Tommy can see the bruises. The split knuckles. The tanned skin and dusting of hair. Soft, yet strong.

His own hand twitches, yearns to reach out and grab. Clutch Steve’s hand between his own. To run his thumb in gentle circles on the back of his hand, feeling the downy hair and soothing the anxiety he’s feeling. To feel the callouses on his fingertips, the softness of his palms.

Swallowing a breath, watching as Steve blinks and slowly lowers his hand down. Dropping towards the shitty mattress of his hospital bed. Tommy holds a breath in his lungs, steadies his shakes, fucking steels himself. Lets the thought posses him until he can’t think of anything else. In those split seconds where Steve slowly lowers his hands onto the bed.

And Tommy reaches out and grabs Steve’s hand.

Steve whips his head up to meet his eyes more readily, and the movement shakes him, the other boy wincing at the force of it. Brain rattling in his skull. But he doesn’t pull away from Tommy’s grasp. Doesn’t let go. And so Tommy doesn’t either. Squeezes Steve’s hand, aiming for comfort. Something soothing. Tommy isn’t going anywhere. Not anytime soon. He’ll be here until the nurse kicks him out when visiting hours are over.

A moment.

And then Steve is squeezing back. Holding tight, their hands clasped together. Connected. Anchoring themselves. He’s smiling. Something soft, and small, and just for him. The two of them, joined together in the little room at Hawkins Memorial.

There’s a lot they need to talk about if they really want to do this. Be friends again. They need to talk about Wheeler, and Hargrove, and how Steve said he and Carol were miserable people. Assholes. As if Steve wasn’t friends with them for years and years. As if Steve wasn’t one as well.

But it’s nice like this, just for now. He can feel himself blushing, a gentle pink heat wash across his cheeks, his freckles. Steve’s hand is warm and holding tight, with no signs of moving anytime soon. Tommy’s the same. He just hopes that Steve can’t feel how clammy his hands are, all awkward and sweaty.

Steve smiles at him, soft and sleepy and sort of coy. Ducking his head into the pillows and then looking at Tommy again. He doesn’t say anything. Tommy doesn’t know what to say either. There are so many questions on the tip of his tongue and he doesn’t know if it’s his place anymore to ask them.

How did you get your concussion? How did your face get so cut up? Who did it? Do you still want to be friends? Why isn’t Wheeler here? Do you have other friends? Have you replaced me?

They used to be able to tell each other everything.

“Thank you,” Steve eventually says, not moving his hand. Just resting it at the edge of his bed, stretched out between them. “No one else knows I’m here. So. It means a lot.”

“’Course.” Tommy says with a shrug off his shoulders. “I’m not that much of an asshole that I’d just leave you here after getting that message.”

Something washes across Steve’s face, something awkward and ashamed and sort of frustrated. He looks down at their hands, then back up at Tommy. Almost searching for something. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’m here aren’t I?” Tommy asks, trying so fucking hard not to sound angry. Defensive. Let the anger that bubbles and boil over take everything until it flows out of him like it has him enthralled. He’s in it’s possession. It’s a knee jerk reaction, he knows, built up over the years of living with his father. But Steve doesn’t like it, was willing to cut him out because of it. Because he had the revelation that he didn’t like being mean even though they really weren’t that bad. It was the only fucking way to survive Hawkins High. “Speaking of, why doesn’t your girlfriend know you’re here? Waiting until you’re better?”

It feels a little like bile when the words come up. At the very mention of Steve’s Girlfriend. Where is Miss Priss, one Nancy Wheeler? She should be here, giving him flowers and fluttering over him like Steve’s a wounded knight or some shit. It writhes like envy, like anger, at the thought of her. She’d be here with her little notebook and pen, making her own compendium of concussion care. He teased Steve in the showers about her going off with Byers, but he didn’t think she’d actually run off with him. That they had broken up for real. He was mostly doing it to get a rise out of Steve. Anger and hurt and betrayal possessing him to hurt Steve back. He saw how in love with her he was. He’s not trying to hurt Steve now.

Steve pulls a face. It wrinkles, mouth turning down, brows furrowing, and there’s a sadness to his eyes. He looks like that sad, scared kid again. Tommy thinks he’s hurt him anyway. He can see the heartbreak on his face as he speaks. His voice wavers as he speaks. “We’re not together anymore.”

“Oh shit,” comes out of Tommy’s mouth before he can stop it. That absolute bitch. What the fuck did she do. Did she really run off with that freak, Byers? Maybe he should have spray painted more shit about her, back when he did the movie theatre marquee. He’s not going to do it now, much as he wants to. Steve wouldn’t like it. “Fuck, dude.”

“It’s fine,” Steve says, shaking his head. Although he hasn’t quite hidden the hurt on his face. “She was better off with him, so I broke up with her.”

A pause. Steve sighs. “You can say it. I told you so.”

“Nah. I’m fucking trying alright?” Tommy says, squeezing Steve’s hand again. He’s just glad he didn’t bring up his taunting. He hopes Steve can see how much he’s trying now, just by being here. It’s a start. “To not be such a miserable asshole, or whatever.”

Doesn’t mean he’s not thinking it though. That Nancy Wheeler is a bitch who played with Steve’s heart and ruined everything. He’s just not saying it anymore. Fucking progress or whatever. Plus Steve sure as shit isn’t going to be mean about it. Voice his anger and hurt and heartbreak. So Tommy can do it for him.

“Means a lot.” Steve says, chin wobbling a little as he speaks.

[Part Five]

[asbealthgn]

wrote this goofy thing as an expansion of this post

It’s very surprising when the door to Eddie’s trailer opens and Eddie is standing there with flowers.

It’s even more surprising when he says, “Happy one month!” with a big grin.

Steve looks back and forth between Eddie and the flowers—wildflowers by the look of them, probably picked around the edges of the trailer park. “Uh, one month of what?”

Eddie gives him an uncertain smile like he’s not sure if Steve’s being serious or not. “Of our relationship,” he says, the last syllable tilting up almost like a question.

Huh. Kind of weird, but at the start of summer Steve and Robin had an ice cream party to celebrate the year anniversary of when they started at Scoops together. So it’s not like this is completely unheard of. Except—

“You and I have been friends for longer than a month,” Steve says, “It’s been like—” he tries to count the months since spring break in his head “—at least four? Unless you don’t count when you were unconscious in the hospital, but that was only a couple weeks, so—”

“I mean one month of our relationship,” Eddie says, putting emphasis on the word. And now his eyebrows are drawn together. Face concerned. And Steve is clearly missing something here.

Did something significant happen a month ago? Some moment where they moved from friends to best friends or something? It was probably about a month or so ago the first time Steve spent the night at Eddie’s trailer, but that wasn’t a huge deal. Steve has spent the night at the Byers’ house before and it’s not like he and Jonathan are breaking out the balloons to commemorate it. 

Steve feels guilty, because clearly there’s something that Eddie thinks he should know that he doesn’t. He doesn’t like this nervous look on Eddie’s face. Steve tries to think like Nancy, tries to put the clues together. But he’s not Nancy. So he’s lost. 

“I’m sorry, dude,” Steve says, “I don’t get what you mean.”

Eddie deflates.

“I know we haven’t necessarily defined it.” His voice is wavering, eyes getting watery. Shit shit shit, what did Steve do? This is so completely out of nowhere and Steve doesn’t know how to fix it. “But I didn’t realize it was actually that insignificant to you.”

Steve shoots his arm out to stop Eddie from closing the door on him. He needs to figure out what’s going on so he can make it right, and that’s not gonna happen if Eddie shuts him out. “Eds, seriously, you’re gonna have to fill me in,” he says, “‘Cause I honestly don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“Seriously?” Eddie asks, anger over taking the sadness in his voice, “You’re gonna act like you don’t know?”

“I don’t!” Steve nearly shouts, desperate. “Please, man, I’m not trying to piss you off here. Whatever it is, I wanna make it right. You just have to tell me what you mean.”

“You and I,” Eddie says. Looking at him like it should be obvious. When it’s so, so not. It makes Steve want to scream. “We’re—I thought we were together.”

“Together? Like…together how?”

Steve doesn’t think he’s ever seen Eddie look this pissed off. “Use your goddamned brain, Harrington,” he spits, “Like together.”

Oh. Okay. That’s…something. It’s not that Steve would necessarily be opposed, or even that he hasn’t thought of it. It’s just not true. They’re not together. And he’s not sure why Eddie thinks they are. Yeah, they’re close, but it’s not like they’re closer than Steve and Robin. It’s not like they’re closer than Steve was to Tommy back in the day. He and Eddie haven’t done anything that feels outside the realm of friendship to him. And he definitely didn’t realize that Eddie saw it any differently.

“Um,” Steve says, aware that he’s standing like an idiot on Eddie’s doorstep and needs to answer. “Why?”

“Oh my God,” Eddie says, making as if to close the door again. Steve barely catches it in time. It makes Eddie glare at him. “There’s no way you’re being serious,” he says.

Keeping one hand on the door, Steve throws up the other one in a gesture he stole from Robin. “I really am,” he says, “You know what the kids say. I’m an idiot. You really have to lay things out for me.”

That at least makes Eddie soften a few degrees. “You’re not an idiot, Steve,” he says, “You’re just—oblivious, apparently.”

“Yeah, that too.”

Eddie sighs. “Just come in. We can talk about it.” He steps back and lets Steve come inside. The flowers are still clutched in Eddie’s hand, starting to wilt. Eddie sets them on the table before joining Steve on the couch. 

“A month ago is when you stayed over for the first time,” Eddie says. Steve nods. “And you kissed me.” Steve nods again. Eddie lifts his eyebrows significantly. “You’re not seeing the connection?”

Steve shrugs. “I mean, I guess there’s other ways you could construe that,” he says, “But I thought it was, like, a friend kiss. A goodnight kiss.”

“A friend kiss,” Eddie says flatly. “You kiss a lot of your friends?”

“Sure,” Steve says, “Well, Robin prefers forehead kisses and Jonathan’s more of a hug guy, but I used to kiss Tommy and Carol all the time.”

Disbelief is the main emotion on Eddie’s face. And a whole lot of other ones that Steve can’t quite parse out. “So—everything we’ve done,” Eddie says, slowly, like he’s trying to come to terms with it. “It’s all just…been normal friend shit to you?”

Steve thinks back over the last month, trying to think if anything stands out in his head as non-platonic. Maybe there’s been a time or two when he was kissing Eddie or cuddling up to him in bed or sitting on his lap during D&D where Steve’s felt a sort of stirring deep in his belly. But he figured that was one-sided. His body’s reaction to whatever was happening and not a manifestation of, like, feelings or something. After all, the same thing used to happen with Tommy when they’d do similar stuff. And clearly they were just friends.

After a full twenty seconds of Steve not answering, Eddie drops his head in his hands. “Holy shit,” he mutters. Then he lifts his head. “This—you—the other day. You slept over. We made out. You—you took my fucking shirt off, Steve.”

Yeah, that did happen. And Steve doesn’t have a great explanation for it. “I don’t know,” he says, “It was the heat of the moment or whatever.”

“The heat of the moment,” Eddie repeats, and Steve can’t tell if he’s on the verge of tears or the verge of laughing. Eddie puts his arm on the back of the couch and leans toward Steve. “Can you honestly say that you’re not attracted to me at all?”

Annoyingly, Steve can feel his face start to heat. “I never said that,” he mutters.

For the first time, Eddie looks triumphant. “So you are attracted to me?”

“Yeah, man,” Steve says, squirming uncomfortably. Of course he’s attracted to Eddie. What’s not to be attracted to? He’s smart, funny, hot, good with the kids, good on the guitar, good at kissing. Helped save the world. “You’re, like, it for me. I definitely think about you that way. I just didn’t think you thought about me that way.”

Eddie laughs, the sound containing more disbelief than humor, but still overall a good thing. “I can’t believe the guy who’s been sharing my bed for the past month didn’t think I was into him.”

“Hey, you’re not the only person whose bed I’ve shared.” Shit, that was a bad way to put it. “Platonically.”

Shaking his head, Eddie laughs again. “Clearly, your idea of platonic does not line up with mine,” he says. “But you mean it? You’re into me?”

“Yeah, Eds,” Steve says, “I’m into you.”

“So, does that mean you’d want to be my boyfriend?”

“Apparently I already have been for the past month,” Steve says, grinning.

Eddie grins back. “Doesn’t count if you didn’t know.”

“Then we can count from today,” Steve says, “Starting now, I’m your boyfriend.”

He hasn’t finished saying the last word before Eddie is surging forward and taking Steve’s face in his hands. He shifts onto Steve’s lap, kissing him deeply. 

And it doesn’t feel platonic at all.

[panickedpenguin]

Soulmates share a single symptom of emotion. For some, like Dustin Henderson, it's smiling uncontrollably whenever he can feel his soulmate laugh. For others, like Nancy Wheeler, it's balling your fists in tight tension when her soulmate yells in anger.

For Steve Harrington, it's having his eyes burn with unshed tears when he can feel his soulmate crying. When he was younger, he could hardly control the feeling and would openly sob right alongside his soulmate, however far away they were. With age he was able to reel it in, feel it less forcefully, breathe through it. Still, no matter what, his eyes would burn and often get red rimmed with strain. His soulmate was a bit of a crybaby.

He knew Nancy rarely ever cried. She was tough and smart and sought no one's approval but her own. Steve knew Nancy wasn't his soulmate, but he hoped. By God he hoped. But no, his soulmate cried. They cried almost every Christmas and always every Thanksgiving. They cried on March 29th and September 17th. Even now, having cried throughout Steve's whole life, his soulmate would cry randomly in the middle of the day or a Saturday night, cry first thing in the morning or late late, waking Steve from his sleep.

It used to annoy Steve, thinking that his soulmate must still be a baby if they're crying this much at the age of twelve, fourteen, sixteen, like fucking grow up! But when the crying wouldn't stop, when the regularity of it wouldn't slow down, Steve thought something must be wrong. Maybe his soulmate has chronic pain or suffers migraines. Maybe they're being forced to watch the world's saddest movies all the time by his evil step-mom. And then, maybe they live in a world with monsters from another dimension that attack them in the night.

Steve had told Tommy once, how he can feel his soulmates sorrow. Sorrow like drowning in grief and loss. How he feels like crying with his soulmate all the time. Tommy had nodded along, sympathizing. To lighten the mood, he joked that there must be people who pop boners when their soulmate is horny. How maybe they jizz their pants when their soulmate cums. Steve laughed and laughed and didn't bring it up again. Sometimes he'll feel the burning need to cry and think of boners instead.

When he meets Billy Hargrove, he believes that that man has never shed a tear in his life. Steve swears that Billy is a hotheaded asshole with a heart of solid ice. If he even has a heart at all. When Steve is exposed to his competitive streak and mean sense of humor, he thinks that Billy's heart might just be splintered open with the right icepick. When he sees Billy laying across the hood of his camaro, pointing out the constellations and telling stories about them over one too many beers, Steve thinks that maybe his heart isn't ice at all. Just encased in steel. Like a lockbox. And someone's got the key.

He wonders if someone has the key to his heart, too, or if they've lost it in the river of tears they've shed. He wonders if he could show them the key, if they could unlock Steve's heart together and never cry alone again. Because Steve thinks, when he cries, it's because he's alone in his feelings. Lonely and rattling for affection. Maybe that's why his soulmate cries, too.

There was one time Steve felt the burning need to cry all night long and then watched Billy Hargrove sit out of basketball practice for a week. Another time, Steve was at a party where he found himself in Eddie Munson's company in the front driveway, smoking a joint. The weed was making them sleepy and honest and Steve started crying over the death of his beloved Spaniel when he was eight years old, his best friend and housemate while his parents were away. Then Billy Hargrove came storming out of the house and slamming into his car, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. And then there was another Septemeber 17th where Steve hadn't felt the need to cry until he was on his way home from a night shift at Family Video. He knew the date and knew his eyes would be burning for a while more so he refrained from going home to face his parents and instead drove out to the junkyard. He thought he might find something cool but instead he found Billy Hargrove, bashing in the hood of a car with a tire iron and sobbing. He wiped snot across his sleeve and glared hard at Steve for approaching, yelling and taunting. But Steve felt like crying too and he knew something about bashing faces in, so he picked up a brick and threw it through the car's passenger seat window to get Billy to shut up. They both cried and destroyed a few cars together. When they were good and done they sat down on a green washing machine and shared Billy's cigarettes.

Billy said, "My mom died nine years ago today." He sounded so hollow and worn out that Steve only hummed his acknowledgement. Then Steve said, "My soulmate is lonely today." Billy heaves a huge sigh and then they sit there for a long time after.

They don't realize they're soulmates for another few months, at Joyce's Christmas party where Steve kisses Billy on the cheek soft and careful under the mistletoe. Billy sneaks out the back door to silently sob into the forest. Steve soon follows him out to make sure he's okay, only to watch Billy's body shake and barely exhale a breath while Steve's eyes burn and burn.

[steddiealltheway]

Thinking about Robin bursting into Steve’s house - he gave her a spare key long ago - and yelling, “I was just Nancy’s gay awakening!”

Steve is laying on the ground in the living room and sits up. “What?”

Robin launches into the story, “Well, I was just at Nancy’s as you know, and she insisted that she wanted to basically play dress up with me. So, she handed me some clothes and she jokingly changed into mine which were huge on her and so incredibly adorable. I mean-”

“Robin,” Steve says trying to cut off her inevitable Nancy ramble.

“Right. So, there I am in Nancy’s bra and pulling her really itchy shirt over my head, and when I finally get my head out, Nancy is staring at me in her panicked way. And I thought well, maybe I ripped one of her favorite shirts because it was tight and I may have heard a rip-”

Steve lightly taps her arm, and Robin nods. “But then, she just says, ‘Robin, when did you know that you were… you know… gay.’ And I didn’t think much of it, but I told her, and then she said asked if it can happen later in life. And the dots just connected, and I told her yes it can.” Robin finishes her rant in a frenzied state still as out of breath as when she got there.

“And then what happened?” Steve asks.

“I stole Mike’s bike and came here,” Robin says staring off with wide eyes.

Steve stares at her and blinks slowly. “So she’s had this gay awakening, and you ran away and left her to deal with it alone?”

Robin looks at Steve even more panicked. “Holy shit! Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit!” She stands up and runs to the door. “I’ll be back later!”

The front door slams shut and Steve sighs.

“I was wondering when Nancy would realize,” a voice over Steve’s shoulder says.

Steve jumps. “Shit, Eddie. I forgot you were here.”

Eddie puts a hand over his heart. “I’m hurt, Steve. Hurt. I’m always here.”

Steve looks off and questions his past relationship with Nancy. Yes, he got over her in a romantic way long ago especially when Robin told him she had feelings for Nance. And it’s been a weight off his shoulders but he can’t help but wonder…

“Hey, what’s going on?” Eddie asks already on the ground next to Steve.

Steve shakes his head, but he knows Eddie is stubborn so he gives in. “Do you think Nancy was gay when she dated me, and that’s why things never really worked out? I mean, I just feel bad for doing everything with her if she wasn’t happy.”

Eddie takes a moment and then shakes his head. “Steve, a person doesn’t just suddenly become gay, but I think what you’re missing is that I don’t think Nancy is a lesbian. I’m pretty sure she’s bisexual. Which means she likes both.”

Steve thinks for a second and realizes it makes sense. “So, she had more of a bisexual awakening than just a gay awakening.”

Eddie shrugs. “Yeah, you could put it that way. What I had was definitely a gay awakening though. It was in the gym and this one guy stripped off his shirt and it all suddenly hit that yes, I was definitely gay.”

Steve stares off and suddenly blurts out, “Do you think I could have a bisexual awakening?”

Eddie’s jaw drops before he stutters out, “Ye-yeah. I mean… I-I guess you could. But it’s not something you can just force yourself to do.”

“Take off your shirt,” Steve says seriously because he’s curious.

“Dude, I’m not going to force a gay or bisexual awakening on you.”

Steve looks Eddie up and down for a second. He’s always known he’s attractive, just like he knew Billy was attractive and even Tommy in his own way. But it was only fair to notice who would be potential rivals when Steve started dating. But… he knows Eddie is gay, so why would he note his attractiveness?

Eddie sighs and stands up to take off his shirt. “Okay, now you can go back to being your straight self,” Eddie says already pulling his shirt back on.

Steve takes a moment to process, but then he grabs Eddie’s hand and drags him up the stairs. “Steve, there is now way you’re about to do what I think you’re going to do.”

“I sure am!” Steve yells determined.

A few minutes and a lot of complaining later, Eddie has Steve’s jeans on and is pulling his yellow sweater over his head. Eddie even does a little spin.

Steve looks him over and realizes that he feels the same way towards Eddie as he always has. He definitely finds him attractive, and even has the thought in the back of his head that he wouldn’t mind kissing him. Plus, Eddie in his clothes is definitely adorable wait-

Since when has he always wanted to kiss Eddie?

“Oh shit. You cannot tell me that this actually worked,” Eddie says and then laughs. “Okay, very funny, Steve. You can cut it out now.” Steve feels Eddie grab his shoulders, “Steve?”

Steve turns to look at him and says, “Eddie, I really want to kiss you.”

Eddie steps back and says, “Steve, this really isn’t funny. Just knock it off.”

“I’m serious,” Steve says with as much conviction as he has. “And I don’t mean just right now, but I mean that it’s always been there in the back of my head, and I’ve been ignoring it. But, shit, I want to kiss you.”

“Why don’t you buy me dinner first?” Eddie jokes and then stops. “You’re serious?”

“One hundred percent.”

Eddie walks closer to Steve mumbling under his breath, “I cannot believe this worked. Must be a bisexual thing.”

Steve laughs and says, “Maybe it is.”

Eddie finally gets up in front of him and cups his jaw. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

“Not if I beat you to i-”

Eddie cuts him off with a soft kiss before pulling away and looking at Steve with a bit of fear in his eyes.

“Holy shit, I’m bisexual,” Steve says with a laugh before kissing Eddie again. He pulls back and says, “Wait, this isn’t just you helping me to realize, right? Like, I want to go on a date with you. Multiple if you wanted that…”

“Oh thank fuck,” Eddie says and kisses Steve again.

Steve will have to thank Nancy and Robin later.

[the-maw-consumes]

“Have you…ever been in love?” 

Steve blinked. That…wasn’t what he was expecting. Still, there’s only one definitive answer. 

“Yep,” he answers, popping the ‘p’. “Nancy Wheeler. First semester, senior year.” His mimicked gunshot doesn’t even cover how that felt, but he does it anyway. 

“Oh my god,” he hears from the other side, “She’s such a priss.”

Nancy Wheeler is a lot of things; priss, she is not. And maybe she doesn’t need him to defend her, but, still, he hums, “Turns out, not really.” 

Robin scoffs as if that’s unbelievable, and maybe it could be. Then, she asks, “Are you still in love with Nancy?”

No, is the first thought in his mind. And, well, it’s strange to think his answer would’ve been different at the beginning of the year, as much as he’d told himself he’d moved on back then. But, the months in between have just made him realize that how he feels for her has changed a lot since October. He loves her, of course he does, and he’ll never really get over her. But, he doesn’t think he’ll ever love her like he did again.

So, after a moment, he says, “No.”

Then, of course, she asks the question he’s been avoiding thinking about: “Why not?” 

There’s a lot of answers to that question, but Steve…well, he knows the one that’s most responsible, even if it’s been thrown to the back of his mind. He’s never really brought it to the light of day before—if bathroom lights could be called that. But there’s just something about this moment, sitting with Robin on a probably disgusting bathroom floor with his mind still kinda floating, that makes him feel like it’s safe here. They just went through hell—there wasn’t a better time, right?

“I think,” he starts, “it’s because I found someone who’s a little better for me.” He huffs a laugh, “It’s funny, you know? Ever since Dustin got home, he’s been saying, like, you gotta find your Suzie, you gotta find your Suzie.” 

“Wait, who’s Suzie?”

“It’s some girl from camp, I guess his girlfriend. To be honest with you, I'm not 100% sure she's even real.” Steve shakes his head and kinda wishes he’d thought up a better analogy. “But that’s not really the point. Uh, the point is…I think I already found my Suzie. You know—this person is someone I didn’t even talk to in school, and I don’t know why. Maybe Tommy H. would’ve made fun of me, or I wouldn’t be…prom king. It’s stupid.” He sighs. “I mean, Dustin’s right, it’s all a bunch of bullshit anyways. I should’ve been hanging out with this person the whole time. I wish I did. I mean, they’re so cool and hilarious—I feel like, the past few months, I’ve laughed harder than I have in a long time. And they’re smart, and a dork, but so passionate—you know, they can talk on and on about so many things, it’s amazing.” Captivating, really, but the second it takes to reminisce about those moments are enough to make him realize he’s been rambling for like, minutes, and he’s gotta stop at some point. So, “They’re honestly unlike anyone I’ve ever even met before.”

Steve smiles to himself for a second, his head still feeling a little flighty—but the silence keeps dragging on beyond that. The smile falls a bit, and Steve really hopes he was careful enough with his words. He really hopes he can trust Robin if he wasn’t. 

“Robin?” Steve taps on the stall wall between them, the sound echoing through the bathroom. When the silence just gets heavier, it’s with genuine concern that he asks, “Robin, did just OD in there?” 

“No.” He breathes a sigh of relief, then hears it echoed, though weighted, from the other side. “I…am still alive.” 

Still, there’s something so heavy in her tone, and a visual confirmation that she is alive becomes essential for him. So, shuffling over to grip the wall between them, Steve slides underneath the stall and lands a little to the left of where she sits, alive and breathing. She smiles a bit.

“The floor’s disgusting.” He huffs and glances down at the sailor uniform that has (probably) seen better. “Yeah, well. I already got a bunch of blood and puke on my shirt, so…” 

She breathes a bit of a laugh, and, at the very least, some of the heaviness is gone. Alive and breathing. 

“What do you think?” he asks her, almost intentionally vague. 

“About?”

“Am I in love with Nancy Wheeler?” 

“No,” she grants. Then, very decidedly, “But, I think you’re on drugs and not thinking clearly.” 

And the look she gives him feels too significant, too weighted, and he really, really hopes he was careful because the possibility he wasn’t is starting to loom over him. He can’t argue that his mind was in stellar shape a few minutes ago, and everything she’s done since then is just working to form a pit of dread in his stomach. It feels like wishful thinking to consider that nothing she’s said has been outwardly accusing, but it’s still there.  

Why did he have to say so much? 

No, no, right. The drugs. Robin may be right, he probably wasn’t thinking clearly. And, damn it, this may not be entirely his fault but he does not want the repercussions for it. 

“Well, I think I’m thinking pretty clearly now.” Wishful thinking, it is. 

“You’re not.” Somehow, her expression feels like an echo of his own worries. “Steve,” she starts, and the dread gets worse, “you’re not thinking clearly about this. Look, you don’t even know this person—” Wait, what? “and if you did know them, like, really know them—I don’t think you’d even want to be their friend.” 

Steve blinks. That—That’s what she was talking about? How did she even know who he was talking about? He shakes his head, honestly baffled. “Wait, what? That’s not true.” 

She speaks again before he could ask what about everything he said was so revealing, “Listen to me, Steve. It’s shocked me to my core, but I like you—” Harsh. “I really like you. But I’m not like your other friends. And I’m not like Nancy Wheeler.” 

Well, Steve thought he was thinking clearly, but he is lost. Somehow, this conversation has escaped him within the span of two seconds, and the moment feels wrong to ask how they got here. But, if he’s going to take any guess at her meaning, he much prefers thinking she’s…supportive, maybe. Indifferent, even. So, he doesn’t think of the ball of dread winding through his chest, and he tries to follow what Robin may be saying. “Robin, that’s exactly why I like you.” 

And that is the truth, really. He’s never had a friend like her, if they could be considered friends. This summer has carved a small space for her in Steve’s heart, and the past few days have done numbers on expanding that space. She’s funny and smart and definitely not like Nancy Wheeler, wherever that came from. And he really doesn’t want to lose her, not right now. If they get out of this, he wants to be her friend. He wants to know her better than ice cream shifts can tell him. 

Robin scoffs lightly as if that’s not what she needed to believe him. “Do you remember what I said about Click’s class? About me being jealous and, like, obsessed?”

“Yeah?” He nods slightly. 

“It isn’t because I had a crush on you,” she says, slowly, as if a plea to make him understand. He doesn’t. “It’s because…” she continues, hesitant in her words, and he desperately wants to know how to make this better because his heart breaks for the expression she has. Then, quickly, like ripping off a bandaid, “...she wouldn’t stop staring at you.” 

He blinks. “Mrs. Click?” 

A breath of a laugh at that, but her eyes plant themselves on the wall. She clarifies, almost resigned, “Tammy Thompson. I wanted her to look at me. But…she couldn’t pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair.” She looks back at him, with watery eyes. “And I didn’t understand because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor and you would ask dumb questions and you were a douchebag!” She shakes her head lightly and he really is trying to understand. “And…And you didn’t even like her, and I would go home and just…scream into my pillow.”

Steve stares for a second, trying to will his brain back into place, his thoughts to something clear, because something is being said here, something important and—

The puzzle pieces click together.

Oh. 

Oh!

“Holy shit.” 

“Holy shit,” she echoes.

Unwillingly, Steve laughs. A bark of laughter just bursting out of him because, jesus-–this entire situation is so botched. But her face falls and he immediately stops in a wave of guilt and throws himself at reassuring her. “No, no, that’s not what I meant! I didn’t mean to do that.” 

Robin looks away again, shrugs. “It’s fine.”

No, that won’t do. Steve shakes his head, vehemently, and taps her hand. “No, Robin, seriously—there’s been a huge misunderstanding here. I don’t have a crush on you.”

That makes her look back at him, eyebrows furrowed “What?”

“I think you’re awesome, Robin, and super cool and smart. I really want to be friends with you, seriously. But I wasn’t talking about you.” And Steve could stop there, but she just revealed…herself to him and he owes it to her to do the same. He knows how terrifying that is. “I was— Jesus.” He laughs again, brushes a hand down his face. And, still, knowing about her doesn’t make it any less terrifying to say it out loud. “I was talking about, um,” Like a bandaid, right? “...Eddie Munson.”

Her eyebrows seem to go to her hairline, but he celebrates the light that’s back in her eyes. “What.”

“Yeah, we uh—” There’s warmth in his cheeks. This is the first time he’s saying any of this out loud. “I don’t know how it happened, but we ran into each other one day and just started talking and…like, hit it off, super surprisingly. It’s crazy, he wasn’t even on my radar back then and now he’s—” Steve cuts himself off before he can start rambling again, rubs the back of his neck. “I really like him. I was talking about him.”

Robin grins. “Holy shit.” She shakes her head, repeats, “Holy. Shit,” enunciating, as if for good measure. He matches her grin.

“I had no idea what you were talking about.” He explains, “I mean, maybe I don’t really know Eddie, but how do you know that? And then you started talking about Mrs. Click’s…” he mimics an explosion in his head. “I thought the drugs completely fried my brain.” 

She laughs, finally, her head falling back onto the wall, and he can’t help but follow her lead. It’s a good few moments before they stop, Robin suddenly sobering to hold a hand, saying “Wait, wait, Eddie Munson? You’re hanging out with drug dealer, total nerd, band dweeb Eddie Munson?” 

“Hey, hey, I didn’t say you could criticize my taste, Miss Tammy Thompson.” 

She scoffs, sounding just a bit offended, “What’s wrong with Tammy?”

“I mean, she’s cute and all but she’s a total dud.” 

“She is not!”

. . .

[thefreakandthehair]

“I know it sounds weird, but uh, no one we know sleeps well. Some better than others, or they have other people now who can help, but I’m kind of like, a sleep charm or something? That’s what Robin calls it anyways. She didn’t sleep for weeks after Starcourt, and Nancy didn’t sleep for over a month after Barb died. And we just kind of, I don’t know…” He gestures vaguely at the bed, sheets and blankets wrinkled and twisted into themselves from whatever position Steve had been in before Eddie interrupted. 

“... Cuddled?” Eddie supplies, the word nearly stuck at the back of his tongue. 

Steve nods. “Yeah.”

He stands in place, just as Eddie does, neither man moving yet. “And before any of the Upside Down shit, Tommy had a rough time sleeping and Carol, too. I swear, it’s not like, a weird sex thing. At all. But I know what it’s like to wake up terrified, and alone, and confused, and no one should have to suffer like that. So just, c’mon.”

Eddie watches as Steve climbs under the covers and kicks around, straightening them out, before holding the layers of blankets up to make space for Eddie to join. Every wet dream– no, worse– every tooth rotting romantic dream he’s ever had about Steve slams into him with a fury and before he can think about it, before he can rationalize a way out of this situation that clearly means something more to him than it does Steve, he finds himself sliding between offensively checkered sheets. 

What happened to being a runner? 

Silently, Eddie lays on his back and stares at the ceiling, unsure of what to do next. Does he initiate? Does Steve? He wants to touch him, to soak up whatever he can because cuddling platonically with a guy he’s had a crush on for years and has probably been in love with for months is better than nothing. But it’s nearly as scary as the nightmares that drove him here in the first place. 

Unwanted, nasty thoughts rage in the underbelly of his foggy brain. 

I don’t deserve this. Steve doesn’t have to squeeze the broken bits back together like this. He already dragged me out of Hell and now I’m waking him up in the middle of the night to cuddle me back to sleep. What’s wrong with me? 

Steve solves his dilemma for him when he shuffles closer and tentatively slides one arm beneath Eddie’s neck, turning to tug him into his chest. 

“You’re thinking too loud. Just relax.”

Eddie melts against him, exhausted and pliant, inhaling the scent  of Steve’s body wash. He sinks in, nose pressed against the crook of Steve’s neck, and breathes even, steady breaths that counterbalance the ragged desperate attempts from less than an hour ago. 

Something about Steve feels like home, and Eddie is only familiar with houses.

read the rest of no better version I could pretend to be tonight on ao3!

so uh, hope this isn't weird buttttt, tagging the people who seemed interested in the extended cut of my september microfic: @plumfondler @cuoredimuschio @stobinesque @steddielations @dreamwatch @vecnuthy @strangersteddierthings @extra-transitional @yournowheregirl @shares-a-vest @steviesummer @thegirlwiththelibrarybag @steddieas-shegoes @sidekick-hero @withacapitalp @ghostevie @hammity-hammer @oliver-sykes @perseus-notjackson @sailing-through-hawkins @aliea82 @elidoesntbreathwee

[samgelina-jolie]

It all started a week ago. Steve had come along to The Hideout, decked in his darkest polo shirt. It was the first gig he'd come to since him and Eddie had officially- as Robin put it- 'got their shit together'.

Steve had met the band plenty of times already, and while they'd been pretty standoffish at first, he liked to think he got along with them pretty well. Jeff actually shared a similar taste in music (even admitting to liking ABBA because it reminded him of his mother) and he'd known enough about Star Wars and a mix of Dustin's interests to win over Seth. It was harder to read Gareth, but Steve had assumed they were at least acquaintances.

That was until Steve had walked up to the bar where Gareth was talking to some girl, and then Gareth had said the meanest thing imaginable.

"He's my buddy's boyfriend."

Eddie hadn't seen what the big deal was. But Steve understood the importance of befriending your partner's best friend.

Well, back in high school, Steve had never really bothered with his girlfriend's friends. He'd focused on putting in effort with the girls he found attractive, wooing them with flowers and gifts. The girls who he wanted to like him did, he didn't really care how much the other girls didn't. The only job the best friend really had in his mind was picking up the pieces after he left those girls in the dust.

That was all before Nancy, of course. She'd been so adamant about him making an impression on Barb, so he'd tried. He invited her to parties, kept Carol and Tommy off her back, even tried to back her up once or twice when Barb and Nancy were bickering.

And it worked out... kind of. Barb had still rolled her eyes whenever Steve opened his mouth, but she was also the one who pulled him aside and saved him a whole lot of embarrassment and heartache.

"I'm telling you this because I would want to know, and because I guess you're not the worst person in the world. Nancy has been hanging out with Jonathan a lot lately... I just think maybe you should pay a bit more attention to it."

But besides him and Nancy as a couple not working out, he'd realised how important being on good terms with the person you're dating's friends is to being a good boyfriend. Which is why it was integral that he became proper friends with Eddie's best friend.

--

"What are you wearing?"

Steve had just walked into the Munson trailer. He'd spent nearly an hour trying to perfect his hair, so he's mildly offended that his outfit is the first thing his boyfriend noticed. Steve glanced down at his shirt with the huge Green Day logo printed onto it. He wasn't sure why Eddie looked so appalled, it wasn't dirty or anything.

"Oh, Gareth let me borrow it. Cute right?" Eddie's nose scrunched up even further, full on glaring at the offensive item.

"I can't let you into my room with that shirt on."

"Well hopefully once we get to your room neither of us will have our shirts on" Steve chuckled, leaning in for a kiss but Eddie turned his head.

"I'm serious, big boy. The polos and tight jeans, you're whole hot preppy look actually, that all really does it for me and you know it. But this?" He pulled at the fabric of the shirt. "This is the one piece of clothing I never want to see you in."

Steve scoffed. Eddie pushed him gently away with a shake of his head.

"I'm turning off the benefits."

"What benefits?"

"The sex benefits, no more sex until you admit you're not a Green Day fan and we burn that shirt."

"Eddie this is my in with Gareth! He's finally starting to warm up to me." Steve whined. "Besides, you can't just, like, turn off us having sex!"

"Oh yes I can. All I have to do is think about you in this abominable outfit and my boner just-" He whistles, imitating his finger deflating. Steve pouted. He knew rationally he could just give Gareth back the shirt, but that would mean embarrassingly admitting he didn't like Green Day to Gareth and then trying to find another in with him.

So no, Eddie was just being unreasonable.

Anyway, he was totally bluffing about the sex. Steve hoped.

--

"It's been five days Robin! I mean, we haven't gone that long without having sex since.. since we started having sex!" Steve cried, following the woman around as she restocked the shelves. Even though he couldn't see her face he could tell she was rolling her eyes.

It was a serious situation though, at least in Steve's opinion. He and Eddie hung out all the time, and while he obviously enjoyed doing other things with his boyfriend, he wished the other man would at least have the decency to not be so sexy while performing daily tasks. Steve had been this close to jumping him in the frozen food section of the grocery store yesterday.

And he knew he wasn't the only desperate one, Eddie was suffering too. Obviously he'd assumed Steve would cave after a day, because he'd been all jumpy and grouchy for nearly a week. And he kept making that face that Steve recognised all too well whenever Steve did anything even slightly suggestive. Like when he'd bent down to put his laundry in the dryer, and when he turned back around Eddie was beet red and avoiding eye contact.

"Have you tried breaking out the old Harrington seduction techniques yet?" Robin shrugged, obviously not bothered by the fact her best friend was on the verge of death due to lack-of-sex-with-his-really-hot-boyfriend disease.

The thing was, he had tried his old methods. He tried wearing tighter shirts, that strained around his arms and showed off his midriff (but always making sure he was wearing some kind of Green Day memorabilia, because damn him if he wasn't going to be right about this). He'd invited Eddie along to his and Lucas' basketball game. He even tried straight up begging, knowing how much that usually gets Eddie worked up.

And nothing!

Although, there was still one move he hadn't tried yet...

--

"You want to what?" Eddie shot him an incredulous look.

"Help you study, of course. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't help you with your problems? Besides I have this really neat method to help you revise." Steve let himself into the trailer and Eddie's room. He wasn't wearing a Green Day shirt today, but he did have a wristband, something he knew Eddie had spotted already as he walked into the room with his arms crossed.

"Right. And what method would this be?"

"Every time you get an answer right, I take off a item of clothing, and vice versa." Steve plopped himself down on the unmade bed, which he'd missed dearly. Eddie hadn't even let them take naps together in his room, insisting 'spooning almost always leads to sex with you'.

Eddie considered his offer carefully, before nodding with a shit eating grin. Steve cheered internally.

"Great!" Steve smiled before adding "Your rings all count as one item by the way." He tried not to look too smug at the way Eddie's confident grin faltered.

The game reached its boiling point very quick. Eddie had known more about Geography then Steve had expected, which reflected in the fact he only had his boxers and one sock left on. Eddie, however, wasn't doing too much better, sat in only his jeans (and Steve suspected no underwear underneath).

He's not sure who kissed who first, but suddenly Steve was pressed against the mattress, Eddie's thigh between his legs. Excitement coursed through him, his body so receptive to Eddie's touch after so long he wasn't even embarrassed at the noises he was letting out. His hips bucked up, causing Eddie to groan into his mouth.

"So the Green Day thing?" Eddie mumbled between kisses down Steve's neck. The noise Steve made was loud and high pitched, almost drowning out the man's next words. "It's over then?"

Steve paused, the hand that had been trailing down his boyfriend's chest pushed firmly against him as he pulled away.

"Over because you've let it go, right?" He mumbled. Eddie pulled back, his lips red and glossy.

"No, over because you let it go?" Steve huffed, sitting up and pulling his clothes back on. He tugged his jeans on in annoyance, storming out of the bedroom.

"You know what, I'm turning off the benefits now! No sex until you admit Green Day are better than... than Dio!" Steve yelled. He was irritated and extremely worked up but he was also incredibly stubborn. He heard a squawk of protest from behind him as he made his way outside.

"That wasn't even the rule!" Eddie called out, but Steve ignored him. He was not loosing this fight.

--

Listen, Metal music was fine, Steve endured listening to it with Eddie like he endured watching sports games with Steve. He was content in the knowledge that not loving every single one of each other's interest didn't mean they didn't love each other.

Punk was fine too, it still wasn't Steve's thing really, but it was okay and while Steve couldn't tell the difference, according to Gareth there was one. A huge one, if the way he'd been ranting about it for the past hour was anything to go by.

But between fighting with his boyfriend (because it was a genuine fight at this point), not having any sex for nearly two weeks, and being stuck listening to someone talk about something you have no interest in for hours, Steve couldn't take it anymore.

"I don't like punk music! I listen to Queen and Cyndi Lauper and sometimes Madonna and happy music that I can dance to without thinking about America's political landscape!" He blurted out. Gareth stopped his rambling about how Rob Harper was a better drummer than Pete Something, flashing Steve a confused expression.

"Then why were you pretending to?" He asked.

"I... I just didn't want you to just see me as 'Eddie's boyfriend'. I wanted to be your friend and Jeff told me you like punk music so I brought it up and..."

"Look, you are Eddie's boyfriend. Yeah, you're an okay dude, but I can acknowledge that without us having to do the whole friendship thing too, you know?" Gareth shrugged. Steve deflated.

"Right." He said, quickly making an excuse and leaving. Gareth shrugged off the weird feeling the guy's sad puppy dog eyed had given him, grabbing Steve's fries.

He felt kind of embarrassed that he'd been talking for ages with someone who didn't even care. He supposed it was nice of Steve to make the effort, Gareth wasn't aware he'd been trying so hard honestly. Jeff and Seth had warmed up to him pretty quickly but he thought that was just because they were just softies that were no immune to the 'Harrington Charm'.

"Steve?!" A loud yell startled him out of his thoughts.

Eddie stormed into the bar, wearing- holy shit, Gareth felt like he must have hit his head and started hallucinating. This day had taken such a weird turn, because there Eddie Munson stood before him decked out in a 'I heart Green Day' shirt. He also looked like it was taking every ounce of self control not to rip it off his body like it burned.

"Finally come around on the punk scene, Munson?" Gareth chortled. Eddie threw a fry at his face.

"Shut your trap, I need to find Steve before one of the gremlins sees me in this, they're too impressionable." He muttered, taking a seat as he looked around the bar.

"If this is a Steve thing you can stop anyway man, he admitted he doesn't really like them that much. It's kind of weird I mean, who lies about being into something to get someone to like them?"

"Dude, I spent the whole summer eating ice cream as a lactose intolerant person because Steve worked at Scoops Ahoy. He was just trying to find something for you to be friends about." Eddie shot him an unimpressed look, which Gareth thought was a bit high-and-mighty considering he just admitted to basically poisoning himself on a weekly basis for a guy he'd thought was straight at the time.

"Why exactly?"

"I don't know, Steve likes being close to people? He's basically besties with his ex girlfriend, man. Why are you so adamant he can't be yours?" Gareth considered this.

He remembered when Eddie had first told the band he was dating Steve Harrington. They'd all thought he was kidding, but there he was at their next rehearsal, cheering them on and spending his breaks holding Eddie's hand.

Gareth thought maybe it was a joke to Steve. Messing with the guy who likes men by making him think he has a shot with the former prom king. He thought it would end with Eddie in tears, and that had probably made him a bit more defensive than he needed to be. Maybe there was a small part of him, no matter how great Steve seemed, that still believed the guy was setting his best friend up for heartbreak.

"Look, I get that you might have reservations about him. But all I'm saying is- and I've got about a dozen preschoolers and multiple full grown adults that would back me up- Steve Harrington is a pretty great friend to have. So if he offers you friendship, you should take it." Eddie snatched a handful of fries as he got up, leaving Gareth alone at the bar.

--

Steve was half way out the door, wearing nothing but Eddie's Dio vest and grey sweatpants when he saw Eddie. He was standing in front of him, eyeing Steve like a starved man presented with a stake. Steve guessed he probably had a similar look, smiling at the Green Day shirt the man was wearing.

"Oh my god take your pants off." Eddie basically growled, slamming the front door to Steve's house shut as he stalked towards him. He pulled Steve into a ferocious kiss, hands quickly travelling down to his ass.

"Leave the shirt on." Steve gasped out. Eddie let out a muffled groan into his neck. They ran to the bedroom, loosing the vest and both of their pants on the way.

--

"Steve? You home, man?" Gareth heard a loud noise inside, followed by hopping, then Steve opened the door slightly. He was sweaty and shirtless, and his hair was a mess. He'd probably just been working out or whatever jocks did in their spare time.

"Listen, I'm sorry about what I said at the bar. You're a cool guy, I'd like for us to be friends, really. I even thought of something we could bond over; haircare. I've actually been meaning to ask you for some tips anyway." He admitted. Steve beamed, Gareth was almost scared the incredibly sweaty man was about to pull him into a hug. He didn't, he just kept smiling.

"That's real nice for you two, maybe next he'll ask you to prom!" Eddie's voice rang out from somewhere behind the door. Steve flushed a little and hushed him. Gareth was kind of confused as to why Eddie voice sounded so coarse and breathless, he didn't think Eddie had ever voluntarily exercised in his life.

"I would really like that, Gareth. I'll tell you everything you need to know, come by anytime. Except right now." He smiled again before slamming the door. Gareth heard more noises inside, wondering what the fuck they were up to until he heard a loud moan. Oh God, Gareth started running.

Still, he couldn't help but smile. It was always nice to make more friends.

[steddielicious-quaerhye]

There’s all this discourse on bi Steve that assumes that either Steve has always known or that Eddie was his awakening. But what about a dumbass Steve whose first kiss was with a guy, but he didn’t clue in until much later? In this essay, I will elaborate on…

Steve, who at age eleven is best friends with Tommy and Carol. They’ve come up with a pact to all have their first kisses with each other (Steve and Carol and Tommy and Carol, obviously), but the day before, Steve and Tommy are scared that they’ll be bad kissers and Carol will tell everyone. So the two boys decide to practice ahead of time. Of course, this is where Steve’s reputation as a Casanova starts. He just has this natural ability.

And as years pass, Steve and Tommy never really talk about it; but whenever something new comes up, they always practice before Carol. French kissing and necking and dry humping. They don’t want to blow their loads too early with their first handjobs with her, so it’s only natural that the first hands on their dicks that don’t belong to themselves are each other’s. When they’re fourteen, Tommy and Carol lose their virginity to each other and Steve fucks her right after. But it changes everything, and Carol actually wants to date Tommy. In an exclusive relationship.

Steve starts serial dating, taking first kisses and virginities all over town. None of the girls feel any different from Carol (or Tommy), so when he’s alone with Danny Mahoney in the showers after a swim meet in sophomore year and it turns into making out and sloppy handjobs, Steve doesn’t expect anything more. A mouth is a mouth and a hand is a hand, right? It’s just guys helping each other out. After all, they’re not doing anything really queer, like blowjobs or anal. At some point, Danny admits that he actually is gay. (It doesn’t bother Steve as much as he expects.)

When Steve is a junior, he starts dating Nancy Wheeler and stops fooling around with Danny (and various girls). Even though it doesn’t really count with Danny, something deep inside him tells him it does. So Steve has a proper girlfriend and doesn’t really think about anyone other than her.

And then Jonathan Byers straddles him in an alley and beats the shit out of him for calling him a queer. Steve isn’t a fan of the fists, but as he feels Byers on his hips, the clouds part and it clicks that he’s being a massive hypocrite and asshole. When all is said and done and the demogorgon is defeated, Steve still stays with Nancy. But now he knows. He’ll never tell anyone, but it really doesn’t matter what gender the other person is. Either way, it doesn’t matter. He’s in love with Nancy and they’re going to be together forever.

Months later though, Jonathan is still wary around Steve and can’t quite bring himself to trust him, despite the new camera. And Steve needs to prove that he’s changed, so makes an effort to get to know Jonathan better. And one night in April 1984, when they’re baked out of their minds in the Byers’ backyard, Steve swears that he doesn’t care if Jonathan (or anyone in his family, for that matter) is a queer, because he himself likes guys. Jonathan is the one who puts a name to what Steve is - bisexual. No one really knows what it means, but David Bowie once said that he was, and if Steve has this thing in common with Bowie, it can’t be that bad.

That winter, when Steve is suffering through a broken heart and Danny is back from Berkeley for Christmas, Steve sheepishly admits that he’s actually into guys the same as girls. Danny rolls his eyes and they fuck all winter break long. Steve is eighteen now and really doesn’t have any real friends to hang out with (at least not until he’s comfortable around Jonathan and Nancy being a couple), so he spends a few Saturday nights in spring up in Indy’s gay clubs figuring out what he likes. And he likes it all.

Well, not quite. In May, after a basketball game, Billy Hargrove corners Steve in the locker room and aggressively kisses him. He then threatens to kill him if he tells anyone. Steve believes him of course, because Billy is a fucking psychopath with issues that run a mile deep.

And no, Steve doesn’t have the chance to tell Robin about himself in the Starcourt bathroom, thanks to Dustin and Erica barging in. But once they’ve been released from the hospital, he sneaks in her window that night and tells her that he gets it.

After all, gender is such an arbitrary factor in who’s hot or not, right?

(Robin says no, boys are gross.)

See more in the series at #peak bi experience

Crossposted to AO3 here

[dadbodbuck]

fuck it chat i'm swinging the bat at the hornet's nest

911 characters and their political leanings*

* these are personal headcanons don't bite me unless it's sexy

bobby has been a registered democrat since the 90s. he believes in voting in every election, and since 2020 has made sure everyone in the station is registered to vote and votes not just for presidentials but also state, local, and school district elections (before 2020 he was too in his "i can't get attached this isn't a family this is a means to an end" feelings). he is very careful about not pressuring his subordinates into voting one way or the other, and believes in the power of impartiality and subjectivity.

athena is THE establishment democrat to me. she's pro-gay, pro-cop, law and order but ETHICALLY, please! she loooooves nancy pelosi.

may grant is a member of her college's YDSA. this is going to be the thing that makes athena go gray.

maddie is a white suburban democrat. this is entirely based on her vibes

i'm so sorry. buck is apolitical. he never feels like he knows enough on a topic to form an opinion. he asks bobby who to vote for in elections. he is an ally who thinks putting a rainbow emoji on his instagram is effective allyship.

i'm even more sorry. eddie diaz is socially liberal fiscally conservative. he thought he was a raging liberal when he was living in texas because he didn't hate gay people. he hasn't quite unpacked us imperialism yet.

chris (disabled, latino, at least two dads) is cooking a WICKED leftist philosophy tho and when he does eddie and buck will be forever changed. insert whitney chewston mama let's learn meme

hen and karen are both progressive democrats, karen being a little further left than hen. they're especially interested in lgbt+ rights, racial equality, and healthcare access. they frequently go to community events!

chim is full socdem. his bio dad was conservative (fuck him), and the lees were probably some flavor of center left. chim took after the lees until he read the socialist manifesto while he was trying to get his business degree (he dropped out but kept the book) and then he reread it every time gerrard pissed him off. hen and karen do have to drag him to events because he's an introvert however. (yes this one is wishful thinking. this is howard chimney han to ME)

tommy kinard: not enough data. likely some flavor of "reformed right of center" liberal, maybe even leftist?

gerrard: most normal trump voter

ravi: libertarian :/

[toobusybeingdelulu]

no because why do I have the feeling that the night at the Byers’ house steve needed that fight more than billy? think about it. When seeing Steve on the porch he immediately relaxes (leaning against the car, lighted cigarette, hand on the belt) while Steve is more closed off and tense (arms crossed etc).

Steve knew that that encounter would have ended in blood one way or another, while I don’t think that Billy did: he was just there to pick up his sister. His night had already been ruined. Not even a fight could fix it. And also he had to hurry up because Neil was waiting for him, and last but not least… I don’t think he had wanted to fight steve in the first place, despite what everyone may think. I’ve always had the impression that, in canon, he wanted to get to know him in a non-antagonistic way, but didn’t know how to properly… do that, you know? So yeah, a bit of advice on the basketball court, with just enough pushing to not give Steve the idea that he was some sort of pussy (after all, we‘ve seen how he was raised), then some compliments under the shower and a little bit of encouragement (‘don’t sweat it Harrington’ ‘today is just not your day man’ + side eye at Tommy when he teased him about Nancy + ‘don’t take it too hard man, a pretty boy like you has got nothing to worry about.’) and he probably thought that maybe he was doing a good job at it?

Well. Steve did not think so. How can we blame him tho? Let’s remember that Steve is in a hurricane of emotions in season 2: he just lost his spot as king of the crowds, his shot at a normal life and his girlfriend. And then there is this new boy (who is going through just as much of a change) who cannot stop being in his space, and being mean, and pushing him around, and how could he believe that he was being friendly? Of course he is gonna think that dude’s just being a dick for the sake of making his life hell, for some reason. Even the compliments he threw his way may sound as mocking for someone who had been told to his face by his girlfriend that he was nothing but bullshit.

So.. yeah. It’s safe to say that these two idiots did not understand each other, so a fight had been inevitable. And of course it was started by Steve. Because he is the one that had a different perception of Billy’s behaviors towards him than billy himself: maybe he thought that he would have fought him even if he had told him the truth. Or some reasonable lie. Either way, it would have been inevitable. but least he could have a little fun before the first punch, ergo the “were you dropped too much as a child or what?” Because what the duffers and even his fans don’t understand about Steve Harrington’s character is that he is still a former mean girl. No matter how hard they try to uwufying him. Did he change since s1? Sure. But that doesn’t mean he can’t be bitter. That he can’t be awful sometimes. And selfish. But that is fine!! Because that’s what made him interesting in the first place. And the night at the Byers’ had been one of those times. Did billy get out of line with his violence once started? Sure. But Steve threw the first punch. And he needed that fight, because unlike the monster in the fridge, THAT was something familiar. THAT was something normal teenagers did.

and the thing that makes this dynamic even more interesting? Is that Billy loved this side of Steve (“looks like you got some fire in you after all huh? I’ve been waiting to meet this king Steve everyone is telling me so much about”) Because, once again, it was something that he recognized.

In the end, they were both scared kids trying to find a bit of normalcy in each other’s blood in order to escape their respective monsters.

[findafight]

On the one-sided harringrove post- I feel it becomes infinitely funnier with bi steve. He likes men, just not Billy. Never Billy.

Oh yeah. When Billy fiiiirst comes to school with his music blaring Steve is head over heels for Nancy, so he might register that the guy with the Camaro and loud music has a good ass, but then billy opens his mouth and Steve is like "oh, no ass can make up for that personality." And continues with his life.

Just. Okay I like to project just a liiiiittle on Steve with him just. Not realizing his attraction to men isn't a straight thing. Like. Of course all straight people feel that way, you just kinda ignore it or don't do anything about it. So Steve is half way between being comfortable in his sexuality and being closeted to himself because buddy used Hawkeye Pierce as the blueprint of straightness.

So Billy is out here, wallowing in self hatred and internalized homophobia, hating Steve and wanting Steve and hating that he wants Steve and wishing Steve would pay attention to him enough for a hate fuck he can cry about later, and it's all very angsty. All the while Steve is just actually completely fine with thinking a dude is hot he's just got standards that include "not racist" "doesn't try to beat up kids" "hasn't made me blackout from head trauma"

Wait. Oh no. I feel an au coming on. Shit. Au where post S2 Robin hears piano coming from the band room after hours and is her curious self going "I must see who is this mysterious genius" and it's Steve. They get to talking and hanging out and all of a sudden Robin thinks they are actually good friends. Best friends. Somehow.

Cue them going to a band party together. Someone spikes their drinks with waayyyy more than they were expecting so they are blasted. Robin has to go pee but does not want to go alone so she drags Steve into the bathroom with her and makes him face away. He's like haha Woah you really had to pee. And she goes shut upppp and washes her hands but sits across from him. Steve smiles at her and gives her his speech about how amazing she is and how glad he is to be her friend (it is like March '85 so he is still not ready to get back out into dating yet). Robin tells him about Tammy. They sing. Someone slams the door open and kicks them out of the bathroom because there's a fuckin line.

They lay on the grass outside and look at the sky. Steve like. Caaaaasually mentions once having thought he was gonna marry Tommy when he was six and then realizing you just didn't do anything about those feelings and Robin's gotta shoot up going WHAT!! WHAAAT? Because it sounded like Steve coming out to her? Right after?? She came out to him??

And Steve is like yeah. Like you don't really have to? Easier to ignore it and flirt with girls who I like or think are hot. And poor Robin's brain is melting she's like please Steve I'm really drunk are you telling me you sometimes want to kiss boys? And he's like yes, obviously, everyone does. Just like everyone also wants to sometimes kiss girls. Except lesbians I guess who only want to kiss girls? And gay guys only want to kiss guy? Yeah that makes sense and straight people don't care but go for the opposite ya know?

Robin is like NO!! And calms down some and says "okay I'm telling you this because you are my friend and you just told me almost the same thing. Steve. I like girls and only like girls. That not a straight thing"

"yeah. You've said."

"but I am ninety nine percent positive that just because you like girls doesn't mean you're straight because you also like boys."

"what"

"yeah dude, I do not think this is a heterosexual experience you're describing. I'm not an expert but. Yeah.

"oh. Huh."

"yep."

"I definitely thought it was."

"your brain is so weird I'm still kind of obsessed with you."

"haha. Honestly I'm kind of obsessed with you. This is wild."

"well. At least I know you're stuck with me."

"ohhh nooooo whatever will I do with my best friend always around..."

ANYWAYS THE ACTUAL POINT OF THIS is not in fact the stobin. It's actually that

Sometime probably in may, when Steve is ready to be on the dating scene again, he gets with Eddie. Robin is happy for him but also so mad because he went from "probably shouldn't act gay even tho everyone feels a little gay sometimes" to "hey Robin what would you say if I said I got a boyfriend?" In less than two months. How does he have straight AND gay game. That's not fair.

Steddie getting together is a non event. Eddie is still like ewww sports and yet somehow he made out with Steve Harrington and the next day Steve asked if he wanted to get milkshakes and throw rocks into the quarry to see the splashes. Eddie must restrain himself from thinking it's a date because he knows it's not but it'd also be the perfect date (Eddie is a simple man)

At the end of the night steve kissed his cheek and says "I had a really great time..."

Eddie just blurted "hey do you want to be my boyfriend?"

To which Steve perks up like "yes! I'd like that!"

And Eddie didn't actually think he'd get that far so he was like "neat!! See you tomorrow!" before slamming the door in Steve's face.

So they're dating and Eddie disparages sports but Steve is like haha aw you don't like watching me play? Which is sooo mean to Eddie because obviously?? He likes?? Watching his boyfriend??? Run around in tiny shorts and sometimes shirtless?? He has to reevaluate some things he supposes.

All while this is happening Billy is still on his Greatest Homoerotic Rivals shtick with Steve. Eddie notices and is like to dude...what is with Billy? And Steve just sighs. Says Billy is weird and obsessed with him and glares all the time. It's a whole thing. Billy is pissed because what is Steve, his epic rival, doing hanging around some random band geek, his sister's bitchass friends, and maybe the local dealer.

Alright. Grad happens. Yay Steve! Poor Eddie. They go to some party , hang out with people, sell some drugs, etc. Billy is unfortunately also at this party, and is like. Lazer eyes boring into Steve's back. Very annoying. At some point, he sees Steve slip away and is like this is my chance so he follows him.

Howmever he comes across Steve, his epic and totally heterosexual rival, making out with Eddie the freak Munson.

And listen this is a scary thing to be caught inna town like Hawkins, but that's not the point of this post.

So Billy goes "what the hell?"

They turn around. Billy is still spluttering.

"what are you-why would you-- with him?!" He says.

Steve raises his eyebrows, alllll cocky confidence. He smirks a bit. Drawls. "Well, yeah. I like cock, billy. Just not yours."

Because the point of this post is that Steve is a bitch.

Thank you.

[lavenderstobins]

Stobin childhood friends AU headcanons?

I’ve been thinking about this and I Finally have some ideas

I think first and foremost they’d be close childhood friends who drift as they get older and then get thrown back together again. Like, Steve’s a year older, so there’s already that gap between him starting high school and Robin starting high school, and they live in such different worlds that I think it would ultimately push them apart… until it doesn’t.

More under the cut, because this got long.

It starts with socks.

They meet on the school playground. Robin had tried to join their game of soccer and Tommy had sneered at her that girls didn’t play soccer, boys did. Robin had said that was stupid, and besides, Tommy couldn’t even score, so what makes him the decider of who gets to play football?

The other boys had laughed at that, so Carol had loyally pushed Robin over, and she’d scraped all up her knee. Carol had frozen, thinking Robin was going to snitch and get her in trouble, but Robin had only wiped the blood away, lip trembling, and stalked off. It had been up to Steve to ‘negotiate peace’, because Carol would get grounded if she got detention again and Tommy refused to apologise to someone who made him look stupid.

Robin had scoffed at him when he’d walked over. Steve couldn’t help noticing that she’d bled through her white mid-calf socks. She was going to get in trouble with her parents, because his mom always got mad when he got blood on his clothes.

He’d told her as much, matter of factly. “There’s blood on your socks.” She’d looked at him with narrowed eyes, and he’d continued, “I know how to clean them.”

She’d looked at him stupid, and he’d defensively said that his nanny knew how to get rid of stains, so the offer is there.

Robin had taken it, so after school, he’d explained to his nanny and Robin came home with them. They had to wait for her socks to get cleaned so Steve awkwardly showed her around his room, and Robin had immediately started rummaging around and commenting on things. By the time the socks were clean, they’d both forgotten that’s why they were even there, and they’d become fast friends.

Tommy and Carol didn’t exactly like Robin, but they respected that she wasn’t a snitch. Steve liked Robin a lot. She didn’t really act like a girl, not the way Carol always did, and she wasn’t scared of spiders, which, was like, ten million cool points.

So Steve and Robin became friends in school, and spent time together outside of school, and both of them were often left alone it wasn’t uncommon for one to spend the day at the other’s house to be watched by the babysitter, or nanny, in Steve’s case.

I think things started feeling different when they hit puberty, because so much emphasis is put onto girls and boys. Steve was self conscious because of his squeaky voice, and Robin didn’t like that she had to wear bras now, but for the most part they were still SteveandRobin, best friends.

Then Steve started high school, and he found himself popular, and busier, and he was spending less and less time with Robin. Robin, at that point, was sore about Barb ditching her for Nancy, so when Steve started to pull away she stopped trying. Neither of them really fully noticed what was happening until it had been weeks without them spending time together.

Steve told himself that it was because Robin hadn’t started high school yet, and when she did, everything would be back to normal. Except when Robin started high school, she didn’t fall into popularity like he did. She wasn’t considered cool or a party girl. She didn’t want to attend the parties at all.

I think the final straw for them at that point was some jocks making fun of Robin, and Steve had joined in by making a joke about something Robin had shown him, and he hadn’t understood why it was a big deal when Robin got upset. He’d insisted they were all just joking, that they didn’t mean anything by it, but Robin had turned around and said they were all nothing but bullies. The other jocks had mockingly “oooh”ed at her, but Steve was genuinely hurt that she saw him like that, and when Robin started avoiding him, he avoided her, too.

Which brings us to the s1 plot, because it’s only after the shit with Jonathan and Nancy that it occurs to Steve that he had genuinely acted like an asshole. He tried to catch Robin at some point to apologise to her, but she always mysteriously managed to avoid him.

He’d known they were in Click’s class together in this AU, but Robin would’ve been pointedly ignoring him, so that doesn’t change too much. It does, however, mean that he’s horribly aware the entire year that Robin’s sitting behind him, and that hurts more than Jonathan punching him in the face did.

They don’t have anymore shared classes after that, which is both a blessing and a curse. He sees her in the marching band when he’s playing for the basketball team, and that’s the closest he gets to being near her those days.

Then, 1985, his first shift at Scoops Ahoy, the stupid job his dad made him get. He shows up early to make a good impression like his dad had drilled into him and discovers that Robin also works there, and that she’s his coworker for that shift. Robin looks like she might throw up. He half expects her to walk out.

She doesn’t, though. Turns out, she needs this job and its shitty pay as much as he does. The first few shifts are spent in mostly frosty quiet, conversation only happening when deemed absolutely necessary. It makes Steve’s skin itch. He’d once known everything about her life and now she can’t even meet his eyes.

It’s hard to work shifts and maintain silence, though, so slowly, day by day, things warm up between them. Robin talks to him, even if it’s just a complaint about a shitty customer. He tries desperately not to seem too eager in taking it.

They’re not exactly friends again. He’s not naive enough to think that slinging ice cream together undoes the hurt of before, or that they’re okay again. But the work environment is friendly. Robin teases him for striking out with girls and makes snarky remarks when he does something stupid. They complain about customers and bitch on their breaks. It’s something, and he cradles it, like a flame being shielded from the wind.

Then Dustin comes barrelling in, and they’re wrapped up in being true American heroes, and suddenly they’re trapped miles underground and held captive by evil Russians. Everything happens in a blur, and Robin is there with him, and he tries to apologise to her for what he’d done but she interrupts him and says she doesn’t want to hear it. She thinks they’re going to die, refuses to take an apology in her last moments. He doesn’t know how to tell her it isn’t a spur of the moment regret. Doesn’t know how to tell her he’s regretted it since it happened, that he figured out too late he’d fucked up.

Dustin and Erica rescue them. They throw up the drugs in their system in a bathroom, and they drive out to the middle of nowhere for Dustin to set up some device, and they crash a car to stop a flayed guy from killing their friends, and they throw fireworks at a huge monster made of melted flesh. It all feels surreal.

Afterwards, Steve finds Robin huddled under a shock blanket, staring off into space in the direction of the now-burning Starcourt. She’s sitting alone. The kids have all been taken home, with poor El going with the Byers and Max going with the Sinclairs.

Robin’s parents haven’t shown up. Just like his haven’t.

He takes a seat next to her, his own shock blanket draped over his shoulders. Her face, at least, isn’t beaten like his, but he can see cuts, bruises, burn marks from the fireworks on her arms.

There’s a cut on her leg. It’s bleeding through the white mid-calf socks of her Scoops Ahoy uniform.

Quietly, he says, “There’s blood on your socks.”

Robin looks at him, her eyes tired, but there’s the smallest ghost of a smile on her face. “I know someone who knows how to clean them.”

[delta-piscium]

I wrote this in September and it’s been collecting dust in my docs and staring back at me with judgement whenever I post or write something else so here 

“Steve” a familiar voice shouts across the room.

Steve turns around, and there, on the other side of the crowded room is Tommy. It really shouldn’t be as big of a shock to see him as it is. Steve is at a house party on a Friday night, it would have been weirder if Tommy wasn’t here. But still, that doesn’t mean he’s prepared to see him, they basically haven’t talked in three years, ever since Steve ‘chose’ Nancy over him and Carol (aka finally dropped them because they were horrible and didn’t drop Nancy because she isn’t). 

Still, he plasters on a smile, making it as polite as he can, and waves. Hopes it will be enough but of course, it isn’t. Tommy starts weaving through people, pushing and elbowing his way toward Steve.

“Its been ages,” he says clapping his hand on Steve’s shoulder, “how have you been man.”

Steve resists the urge to shrug his hand off, but it’s a close thing. 

“It has.” Steve doesn’t add ‘because you’re an asshole and I hate who I am around you’ and he feels very mature for it. “I’m good.” He very deliberately does not ask Tommy how he’s been. 

“Me too, me too.” He responds anyways, at least he finally removes his hand from Steve’s shoulder which makes him relax marginally. “Still dating Nancy?” 

And, okay yeah, he and Tommy haven’t really spoken since he and Nancy were still together but Hawkins is a small town and he’s sure Tommy knows that Nancy had both broken up with Steve, gone on to date Jonathan for two years, and recently broken up with him as well. Actually, he thinks he remembers a shower conversation with Billy just days after she dumped him and went off to Murray with Jonathan, a conversation that Tommy was also present for.

“No, we broke up years ago.” He dutifully replies anyways, because what else can he say? 

“Yeah, heard she dumped you?” 

Steve is gonna remain calm, play along in whatever game Tommy is playing, and not react. 

“She did,” he agrees easily.

“And got with Jonathan right after? Should have listened to us and stayed away.” He grins as he speaks, grins as if Steve is gonna agree with him. 

“We’re still friends,” Steve shrugs, letting the fall of Tommy’s smile bring one to his own lips.

“Was for the best that we broke up, we’re much better as friends.” 

Tommy squints a bit, his hackles raising and Steve only notices because he once knew him so well. Why he’s still getting defensive talking about Nancy Steve doesn’t know.

“Oh Stevie, you still hung up on her huh?” 

It’s deliberate, he’s trying to press Steve’s buttons. ‘Well, tough Tommy-boy.’ Steve thinks, ‘those ones don’t work anymore, have been defunct for ages. You’re gonna have to do better than that if you want a reaction.’ 

“Nah,” he says, lets his smile be a bit more genuine when he continues, “she’s great but I’m dating someone else.” 

“Rebound?” Tommy whistles, “she hot?” 

Why Tommy is convinced Steve is still pining after Nancy he can’t say, or maybe it’s the only angle he has on Steve nowadays? Except they basically lived in each other's pockets all through high school and if Tommy really wants to get under Steve’s skin there are other things, better things. Things he has used against Steve before and seen the effect of. Why he isn’t he using them now when he clearly has some agenda Steve can’t say.

Steve is about to respond, has his mouth open and ready to speak when someone calls his name again. Thankfully this time the source is a lot more pleasant. 

Tommy turns around to see who it is, completely exposing his back to Steve. It’s probably the last few years of fighting hell monsters that has ingrained a distrust in Steve. Making him hyper-aware of his surroundings and never willing to leave his back open like this to people he doesn’t trust. He knows this but still, he thinks there should be some primal instinct in Tommy to stop him from making himself so vulnerable to Steve, the action speaks of leftover trust that Steve isn’t ready to face. 

“Munson? You know Munson?” He turns back around, an incredulous look on his face.

It snaps Steve out of his thoughts and reminds him Eddie had called for him. He leans to the side, stretching out so he’s visible behind Tommy, catching Eddie’s eye and waving him over.

“I do, yeah.”

Tommy’s face twists into something Steve can’t immediately place. He recognizes it, knows he’s seen Tommy make that face before. It’s not disgust or confusion but maybe something in between? Before he can figure it out it clears.

“Oh, King Steve getting drugs? Who would have thought?” 

Steve rolls his eyes, the only reason he had stopped smoking weed for a while in high school was because athletes got tested. Why Tommy is pretending Steve ever had some moral issue with it now is beyond him but not much of this interaction has made sense to him so far so what’s one more thing?

“What Steve doing drugs? He’s a very responsible young man and would never” Eddie says, twisting past the last couple of people.

“Right Stevie? You wouldn’t touch the stuff?” Eddie–knowing very well that Steve would in fact ‘touch the stuff’–asks. 

“Not with a ten-foot pole.” Steve–who smoked yesterday–deadpans. 

“Knew I could trust in you to stay a good boy.” Eddie coos as he steps into Steve's space and kisses him despite where they are. It’s quick enough that no one who isn’t watching would catch it though and the only one who is watching is Tommy. When Steve looks back at him his face slack with shock. 

“Hagan,” Eddie says with a short nod. 

“You-?” Tommy looks between them, that same look as before flashing on his face, still just out of Steve’s grasp.

Steve contemplates what he should do for a second but Tommy already saw them kiss, already knows. And honestly, Steve doesn’t really care what he thinks and he knows Tommy won't say anything. Steve has too much dirt on him.

“Oh sorry, Tommy this is my boyfriend.” His voice is deceptively sweet as he introduces Eddie as if that’s what Tommy had been getting at.

Steve turns to Eddie, “baby, you know who Tommy is right?” 

He’s laying it on thick, asks despite Eddie greeting him by name two seconds ago. Knows others' unabashed confidence and being on the outside are things Tommy can’t handle.

“I think so,” Eddie plays along, “you were friends once right? Before you found better people?” 

It’s mean but Steve wouldn't have thought too much of it if it weren’t for the wounded noise Tommy makes. When Steve looks at him again his face is cracked open and it finally clicks what that expression is.

“Aw, you jealous?” Eddie says in a mocking tone, hitting the nail on the head because that’s exactly what that expression is, jealousy. 

It’s the same look he had whenever Steve told him about a new girl, the look he’d have when Steve started bringing Nancy around. It’s deeper though, not only jealousy. He also looks like he did when Steve told him and Carol to leave him alone. He doesn’t just look jealous, Tommy looks heartbroken. 

He tries to pull it together, scrunching his nose up in disdain, and scowls at them. Quickly looks away from Steve when their eyes catch and his mask falls a bit, instead focusing on Eddie who raises one eyebrow in response. 

“Hardly,” he scoffs, it comes out strained, “I would love to stay and chat but-” 

He doesn’t elaborate, just turns on his heel and disappears into the crowd.

Steve is frozen to the spot, a war going on in his head. Puzzle pieces he didn’t know were missing falling into place.

“Come on, let's get out of here.” Eddie grabs Steve’s wrist and starts pulling him outside, away from the party. He gets them in his car and doesn’t try to speak to Steve, probably sensing he’s having some earth-shattering realizations right now. 

“He liked me,” he finally manages to say. “That’s why he hated Nancy so much. He was...” he trails off, knows it’s true but can’t quite say it.

“Jealous,” Eddie finishes softly.

“You knew?” Steve asks because Eddie doesn’t sound or look surprised at all.

He shrugs, “I had my suspicions.”

“But how-”

“We looked at you the same,” his smile is wry, self-deprecating, “I recognized it.”

And Steve can’t really process this right now even though he knows it’s true so he grasps at straws, “Carol, he was with Carol?”

Eddie reaches out one arm and cups his face in his hand, glances at him quickly before he looks back at the road with a sad smile.

“If you’re in love with your best friend, your male best friend who you believe is straight, you do what you need to do to push it down, to hide it. Especially in high school and in a small town.”

“In love?” Steve rasps because he’d said ‘like’.

“Yeah, sweetheart. In love.”

Eddie brushes his fingers under Steve’s eye and he realizes it’s because he’s crying.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I don’t know why I'm reacting like this.” 

And it’s true, he really doesn’t understand why it feels like a big hole has opened in him. He never liked Tommy, not like that, yet it feels like he’s lost something, fucked something up.

“He used to be your best friend, it’s a big thing to realize.” Eddie parks outside of his trailer, turns to Steve making no move to get out of the car. “Kind of changes everything, or at least puts it in a new context, explains some things.”

Steve feels the blood drain from his face because he’s suddenly remembered something and oh god does it put it in a new fucking context.

“Baby?” Eddie asks when Steve sits frozen again.

“We used to get wasted and make out,” he whispers the words, shame coursing through his veins.

Eddie goes still and Steve rushes the explain.

“Not often and not after he got with Carol, just,” he takes a shallow breath, “It happened a few times. We’d steal my dad's whiskey and get so beyond drunk and, well, kiss a lot.” 

He’d smile at the memory if he wasn’t so horrified by it at the moment. 

“The first time Tommy had never kissed anyone, asked me to teach him so he wouldn’t fuck it up when it mattered. Then after that it just kind of continued to happen. We’d get drunk, make out, and pretend like nothing. It stopped when he started seeing Carol, he tried but I stopped him. Told him he didn’t need to practice now when he had the real deal. We never talked about or even mentioned it.”

Steve sees Eddie’s arms shake and when he looks up he sees Eddie holding back laughter, eyes filled with barely concealed amusement.

“Are you laughing right now?”

Eddie stops holding back, letting the laughter burst out of him and Steve is so confused because he thought Eddie would be mad at him. He’s not sure why, it’s just that this has been such a deeply buried secret wrapped in shame for years with a big ‘do not talk or even think about it’ sign placed in front of it. That it would be met with laughter was never a possibility.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps through it, “It’s just such a cliche.”

Steve’s confused face only makes Eddie laugh harder. When he calms down he takes Steve's face in both his hands holding him firmly and looking him in the eyes.

“Steve, baby, sweetheart. Tommy used the oldest trick in the book on you, asking you to teach him how to kiss and you did it multiple times because what? he needed practice? That’s the flimsiest excuse to gay kiss your best friend and it’s also fucking done, it’s a cliche.”

Steve blinks, realizes that while he never had feelings for Tommy he had definitely found him attractive, had enjoyed kissing him. Had very deliberately not thought too deeply about his or Tommy's motives because that would have made it something he would have had to face.

“Oh,” he says.

Eddie smiles, wide and warm, “yeah, oh.”

“You don’t think I used him?” Steve has to ask, “if he had feelings for me and I didn’t have any for him.”

“No,” Eddie says, “not more than he did you. And you were kids, just messing around and trying to figure yourselves out in a not-very-accommodating world.”

Eddie squints a bit in thought, “though he probably thought you were more on the same page, that you could continue even though he was with Carol. Must have stung to be rejected.”

Steve snorts, “wasn’t really interested in helping anyone cheat, even under all the pretenses.”

“I know.” 

Eddie's eyes are soft, looking at him with so much warmth that Steve momentarily forgets what they were talking about until Eddie's mouth twists into a sly grin.

“I can’t believe your first gay experience was with Tommy fucking Hagan.”

Steve gives him an unimpressed look, “at least I didn’t come in my pants ten seconds in, like some people I know.”

Eddie draws back, clutching his chest with his hands, “harsh words, love. It was at least a minute.”

[plistommy]

I always love a jealous tommy fic. There's so much to explore there. Did he and steve "practice" when they were younger? How does he feel now seeing steve almost blatantly hanging off of another man (eddie or billy, or both hehe)? It's so delicious that tommy in canon obviously assumed steve would always be His, that he was bound to be asshole king steve with tommy forver, and then steve went and changed. Replaced him with someone else. Discarded him. I love when it's so obvious that tommy didnt even maybe respect steve as a person, just the roll steve "the hair" harrington was and now, seeing steve be allowed to just be himself, shamelessly, with another man must make tommy's blood boil. He missed his chance

Tommy felt like he would puke.

There Steve was, laughing so loudly and sweetly with Billy Hargrove and Eddie Munson on both sides of him, looking at him with such loving eyes that Tommy would love to rip them off and spit on them.

The three of them were hanging at their schools parking lot, Steve perched on top of his beemer as the other two leaned on it. The freak had clearly made some type of joke, because Steve was letting out a ’You’re so funny, Eds!’ as he tried to catch his breath.

The nickname made Tommy fume with rage.

Eds? What the actual fuck was Tommy hearing?

Four years back he and Steve would make fun of that guy, even bullying him a little when he started to wear those freaky ass clothes. People rumored him being into Satan or some shit and Steve and Tommy totally bought it as they laughed at him in the hallways.

And now Steve was throwing himself at the guy as he leaned towards him, hand lingering a little bit too long on the older man’s shoulder.

Tommy saw how Billy, the asshole who had dropped him almost immediately once he got to know Steve, moved his hand to rest on Steve’s thigh in a friendly way from other curious eyes, but Tommy could see through the bullshit.

He knows what those three are. What they do together.

They aren’t just friendly buddies who come together about sports and music and talk about hitting on girls.

They’re together. Partners of some sort which makes Tommy fucking sick in his stomach.

He knew Eddie was into guys the second he saw the freak, Billy probably too, but he wasn’t that sure.

It was only confirmed when he saw the way Billy looked at Steve the first time they showered together after PE.

Everyone looked at Steve once that way. With desire and want.

Wanting to have a taste of The Steve Harrington. Of the King. The rich pretty boy with the charm no one had.

Tommy knew it the best, because that’s how he had felt.

He had felt it when him and Steve had kissed for the first time, hands lingering on each other’s body when Steve had carefully leaned down and put those soft lips onto his.

Or when he had fucked Steve the first time. Those eyes so huge as they stared up at him when Tommy had clumsily lined his dick into the other’s waiting hole. And oh did those eyes go huge as Steve took him in so well, like no one has after him. How he had begged for Tommy’s name, told him he loved him.

And Tommy had loved him back.

Still fucking did.

But then he had fucked it up. Played with the other’s feelings, fucking up with his head which eventually made Steve leave him, his best friend, for fucking Nancy Wheeler. Things had broken that little head of Steve’s too many times and he had finally shattered, showing that sensitive and humane side of him that Tommy knew he was always hiding behind his King Steve persona.

The side he had hated. Because he liked it when Steve was mean.

He blamed the hits Jonathan Byers had given him.

That maybe those made a screw inside Steve’s head loose because how could he ever even think about leaving Tommy like that? After everything?

But he had.

And it made Tommy furious. Sad. Jealous.

Because that should’ve been him up there with Steve right now. Holding onto the boy's thigh and maybe kiss a little if no one was around.

Tommy would give him all the attention he needed. Would’ve fucked him so good no one else would’ve mattered. Steve would’ve never even thought about spreading his legs to Eddie Munson or Billy fucking Hargrove.

Just for Tommy.

”What’s up your ass?” Carol asked, focused on putting her disgustingly sweet lip gloss on, but not enough to not catch Tommy’s suddenly grumpy vibes.

”Nothing.” Tommy groaned out and took a bite of his sandwich.

It tasted bitter now.

Carol brushed it off, going back to chatting with Tina who was sitting beside her, oblivious to whatever Tommy was doing. Not like she really cared. Tommy was sure they’d break up soon, again.

Not that he’d mind.

He glanced back towards Steve and gritted his teeth when he saw the trio start to get in Steve’s car, all happy and smiley because they had ’so much fun’ together.

Ugh.

He didn’t miss how Munson patted Steve’s ass softly when he was bending down to the passenger seat and wait… what the fuck?

Was Billy fucking driving Steve’s car?

Steve never let anyone else drive it. He was too afraid to. Never trusted anyone else with it because his Daddy would get mad if it had even a small scratch on it.

Tommy never drove it.

And that pissed him the hell off, because Billy Hargrove of all people can?

The man with three fucking speeding tickets?

His blood was boiling.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the car.

Not even when his eyes locked with those big brown ones that suddenly looked worried when Tommy didn’t look away.

[steddiealltheway]

@steddie-week day three: first kiss

The fruity four are sprawled out on Steve’s living room floor. They’re each not too sure about how they got here listening to one of Steve’s tapes that was deemed “acceptable” drone on as Eddie taps out a rhythm on Steve’s wrist and Steve’s head lays on Robin’s thigh. Nancy is definitely laying next to Robin but Eddie can’t see her from where he’s laying. But he’s also a bit distracted by the side profile of Steve Harrington.

He seems lost in thought as he worries his bottom lip. Eddie isn’t prepared for him to speak his thoughts. “Who was everyone’s first kiss?”

Eddie’s heart thuds in his chest at the question, but Nancy is answering before he can fully panic. “Steve Thomas.”

Robin snorts, “Always had a thing for Steves, Nance?”

“Not anymore luckily,” Steve jokes easily and Nancy laughs. “Robin?”

Eddie sits up on his elbows to watch as Robin smiles widely. “Tommy Hagan.”

“What?!” Steve yells sitting up as a look of horror crosses over Nancy’s face.

Robin practically cackles as they all stare down at her. “It was in elementary school! I doubt he remembers, but I think that’s the first time I really knew I didn’t like boys.”

“Surely that can’t count then,” Nancy comments.

Robin shrugs with a sad smile then says, “Then that means I’m at…” she trials off and holds up her hand to make a zero.

Steve shoots Eddie a look that means trouble, but Eddie’s immediately on board. But before either of them can say anything Nancy offers, “I could always help with that problem.”

Robin goes through a million emotions before settling on confusion. “Huh?”

Eddie shoots Steve a look of is this really happening right now?

Nancy stands up and holds her hand out to Robin. “How about a date first?”

Robin takes her hand after Steve nudges her and is quickly dragged away by Nancy who winks at Steve and Eddie over her shoulder. Robin shoots them a look of pure happiness and panic as she leaves the room.

The front door shuts and Eddie can’t help but fall back and laugh. “And here we were thinking they needed help.”

“I’m surprised Nance didn’t do it sooner,” Steve admits with a smile as he looks down at Eddie.

Eddie’s laughter halts when he sees the questioning look on Steve’s face. “You know, you never told us who your first kiss was,” Steve says gently.

Eddie deflects, “And you never told us yours.”

Steve smiles at him and looks off, “Emma Handler, third grade on the playground. She immediately ran away and told people I gave her cooties.”

“Very romantic,” Eddie says with a smile, hoping Steve won’t ask him again.

“And yours…” Steve presses on.

Eddie looks at him and sighs. He does the same as Robin and holds up his hand making a zero.

Steve stares at him incredulously, “Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously,” Eddie says looking anywhere but at him. He stays staring at the ceiling for what feels like an eternity as Steve continues to stare at Eddie as if he’s grown a second head.

Eddie nearly makes a lame excuse about needing to go to get out of the awkward situation when Steve finally says, “Hey, Eddie?”

Eddie hums in response.

“You know, I’ve never really kissed a guy, so I guess I really haven’t had my first kiss when it comes to that,” Steve says now fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

Eddie looks at him and can’t help but ask, “Is this some weird way of you trying to make me feel better?”

Steve huffs and then laughs. “No, no, it-it’s not that,” Steve stutters uncharacteristically which causes Eddie to sit up and really look at him.

He looks… nervous. Weirdly so as the same look of contemplation crosses over his face. He finally seems to make peace with whatever he’s thinking as he looks at Eddie. Then, his mouth opens and closes and then opens again to finally say, “I’m just saying that I wouldn’t mind sharing that first with you. If that’s something you’d want! Not saying that you would want that, but I’m just… throwing out the offer….” Steve finishes lamely while running a hand through his hair.

Eddie just stares at him. He can’t help it. Never in a million years did he think Steve Harrington would be offering to be his first kiss - nervously. Eddie pinches his arm and winces. Yeah, not dreaming.

“Sorry, man, we can just forget about that. Never happened,” Steve says nervously and stands up. “Do you want a beer or something? Or food. We can order something or I could even make something if you wanted that-”

“Steve…” Eddie says cutting him off from his nervous ramble that reminds him an awful lot of Robin. “I’d like that. The kiss,” he corrects quickly, “Not the food or beer or… actually maybe after but…” Eddie clears his throat. Now it’s his turn to be awkward and nervous. Maybe it’s just the cliche of all first kisses.

Eddie stands up and slowly makes his way to Steve, then they hover not knowing exactly what to do which is dumb because Steve must have done this a million times…

Steve’s hands come up slowly and cup Eddie’s jaw, so Eddie follows his instincts and lets his hands come up to rest on Steve’s back. Steve’s eyes dip down to Eddie’s lip then search his eyes. “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

Eddie nods as his eyes flicker to Steve’s lips. “Okay,” Eddie says already moving forward.

They close the distance gently in a chaste kiss that absolutely rocks Eddie’s entire world. Steve pulls back, and Eddie thinks that that’ll be it, they’ll pat each other on the back and agree to never talk about it again.

But then Steve kisses him again. And again. And again…

By the time they’re pulling away, they’re both breathless, Steve’s hair is a wreck, lips swollen, and Eddie’s sure he doesn’t look much better.

He knows why all the ladies went so crazy over King Steve in high school now.

With that thought, he pulls away and puts some distance between them. Steve Harrington. The lady killer and chick magnet. Not at all in Eddie’s league or even batting for it. Christ, what was he thinking?

“Eddie?“ Steve asks gently.

Eddie turns away and tries his best to collect himself.

“Hey, are you okay? I’m so sorry if that was horrible for you, and I would’ve stopped but I thought… I’m so sorry, Eddie,” Steve says sounding absolutely heartbroken.

Eddie laughs humorlessly, “It wasn’t horrible, Steve. It was… shit, it was incredible. But I… I didn’t think it through that that would be the first and last time.”

“I don’t understand,” Steve says.

Eddie sighs and turns to him. “I don’t want that to be the last time I get to kiss you.”

Steve looks entirely confused before he finally seems to grasp what Eddie is saying. “Oh, shit,” Steve says looking horrified.

“Yeah, shit,” Eddie says and quickly starts to rush past Steve. “I’ll see myself out.”

He gets about two steps before Steve’s hand wraps around his wrists and holds him in place. “I meant, ‘shit, I should’ve just copied Nancy,’” Steve says gently.

Eddie turns to him slowly and looks him in the eyes. What?

“I thought I made it clear before, but the thought of kissing you just wiped away my ability to function. But Eddie, I want to go out with you. Like… a real date and more if you’re down.”

Eddie stares at him in disbelief and says the first thing he can think of, “You’re telling me I could’ve said ‘at least buy me dinner first’ and it would’ve worked?”

Steve stares at him for a few moments then bursts out into laughter. “I’m serious!” Eddie says entirely non seriously while laughing.

He leans in and kisses him gently then breaks away to laugh again which is apparently something he’s allowed do now. Steve grabs him and pulls him into a hug as his laughter dies down. “You never answered my question, you know.”

Eddie pulls back and smiles. “In case it wasn’t clear before, yes, I would love to go on a date with you and maybe more. But for now, I would really love to settle for that beer and food you were talking about earlier. And maybe another kiss…”

Steve cuts him off with a kiss before Eddie can say anything else.

And yeah, he could really get used to this.

[paperstorm]

Thanks for the tags @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @heartstringsduet @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @strandnreyes @thisbuildinghasfeelings @birdclowns @orchidscript @whatsintheboxmh @nancys-braids

I have withheld Tarlos from y'all for long enough so have an extra long snippet

“Hey.” TK smiles back. He turns to shut the door and by the time he turns around Carlos is right in front of him, arms opening for TK to tuck himself into. He does, letting Carlos wrap him up and hugging around Carlos’s waist.

“I was wiping down the shower earlier, I probably smell like Mr. Clean,” Carlos says, kissing the side of TK’s head.

TK rests his head on Carlos’s shoulder, extending the hug for just a moment longer because Carlos is warm and his arms have always felt like home. “Lemony fresh.”

“Super sexy, right?” Carlos jokes.

“Mhm.”

“How was work?”

“Fine,” TK answers, in a tone he hopes is a neutral. He isn’t lying, but Carlos has been watching him like a hawk the last week. Sometimes TK feels eyes on him like bright sunlight burning his skin, as if Carlos is waiting with bated breath for TK to break down sobbing in the middle of brushing his teeth.

Nudging his head up, Carlos makes TK look at him. Part of TK wants to look away, but he makes himself hold his boyfriend’s glossy-eyed gaze. This is what he’s always wanted, he reminds himself; someone who sees him, who knows him and loves him as if his numerous flaws aren’t just a floor-length list of deal-breakers.

Carlos brushes his thumb gently underneath TK’s eye. TK supposes they’re still a little puffy, in a way that most people wouldn’t notice but Carlos does. Softly, he asks, “Are you okay?”

TK nods and tries to smile reassuringly. He is okay, he isn’t lying about that either, he just feels like it’s harder to make Carlos believe him recently. He steps away from his boyfriend and moves toward the kitchen. A long moment of silence soundtracks him as he goes into the refrigerator. Carlos must have been shopping today, TK notices three bottles of sparkling flavored Perrier that weren’t there this morning. It makes him smile to himself and he selects the grapefruit one, finding a glass and turning back to Carlos to ask if he wants some.

He finds Carlos still near the door, looking at him with puppy-dog eyes and the little fold between his eyebrows. It’s so endearing it makes TK laugh. He shakes his head fondly. “Baby. I’m fine.”

“You lost your mom really recently, TK,” Carlos counters in a tentative voice. “You don’t have to be fine. I mean, of course I don’t want you to be sad all the time but if you are sad … that’s okay.”

TK nods. “Thank you. Do you want some water?”

“Sure.”

Carlos steps closer as TK pours, taking a seat on one of the barstools and smiling when TK gives him a glass. Their fingers brush and Carlos grabs for his other hand, bring it to his lips to kiss TK’s knuckles over the countertop before letting him go.

“So, coffee with Tommy?” Carlos questions, repeating TK’s earlier text back to him.

“Yep.”

“You’ve been working with her for over a year and you’ve never gone out for coffee with her.”

“We did actually go for coffee,” TK begins after taking a breath, not wanting Carlos to think he was lying. He takes a small sip, the bubbles fizzy against his tongue, and leans his backside against the closed door of the dishwasher. “We just went to a meeting, first.”

Carlos tilts his head to one side in confusion. “What kind of meeting?”

“Like a support group. For people who’ve lost someone, run by a grief counsellor.”

“Oh.” His eyes soften, lips parting slightly. “Oh, I … that sounds like a good thing.”

“It was,” TK agrees. “She’s been going since Charles died and she asked yesterday if I wanted to go with her.”

He doesn’t mention that before she asked, he’d spent a few heart-pounding seconds thinking she was about to fire him for almost stealing from the narcotics safe. The guilt of it eats away at his edges like acid, even though he thinks she was being honest about trusting that he won’t do it again. Whether he’d managed to fool her into believing leaving it unlocked had simply been an accident, he doesn’t know. Whether his father let her in on what TK’d actually been doing that day, he doesn’t know. It all simmers underneath his skin like mosquito bites, and the largest, itchiest one of all is the fact that Carlos doesn’t know anything about any of it.

Part of TK longs to tell him. He wants to give everything to this man, and he wants Carlos to do the same. For the time being, a larger part of him wants to desperately cling to the idea that his addiction and his mess and his jagged edges are all too far in his past to touch them. TK knows Carlos looks at him and sees softness and kindness and a rose-colored glow and he loves that; he loves imagining he could live up to the person Carlos thinks he can be. The idea of shattering that illusion makes his knees want to buckle underneath him.

“Do you mind if I don’t get into it?” TK asks. Nothing he said was a secret, but he already told a room full of people all about how much he misses his mom, and then reiterated it to Tommy 30 minutes later in the back corner of a busy Starbucks. He doesn’t think he has the strength to talk about it a third time tonight.

Carlos frowns for a moment but then he nods and there’s only a trace of tightness in his smile. “Sure, of course.”

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