#too bad LUKE SUCKS ASS AT BEING LOYAL

[d4ydream-girl]

if i ignore the shit Athena pulled on Annabeth in ep 4, then the whole talking to an owl constantly thing that Ares said would be lk endearing... like girlie is a fucking nerd (affectionate). TOO BAD SHE SUCKS ASS AT PARENTING.

[tessarionbestgirl]

Aemond and Alicent are getting a lot of hate from TG now, mostly Aegon stans. I agree that the show did Aegon dirty, but same goes for Aemond and Alicent. Bad writing affects them, too. However, some people tend to twist the narrative to show Aegon as the only victim. What's your opinion on this? Does Aemond owe an unyielding loyalty to Aegon? Should Alicent support Aegon more?

I am glad someone ask me this because I have so many thoughts on this subject. So first about Aegon's characterization compared to the book, in the book Aegon goes from a hedonistic character to competent leader and someone that cares about his family to fast. What the show is trying to do in my opinion, is slow his progression, we may get see book Aegon, later, even spoilers going around suggest we may get Criston Cole Kingmaker speech to him after Rook Rest. What is always a important thing because is supposed to be a inverse parallel in arcs compared to Rhaenyra, she starts as the Realm's Delight and then become Maegor with tits.

The rape scene I think was necessary? No, do I think is ooc? Absolutely not. We had a 12 year old girl sucking his dick in the book. The children's fighting ring may have been to much and unnecessary, but is not as like the show as well didn't made Rhaenyra way more stupid compared to her book version by having white babies and trying to pass them as bastards from a black guy.

The show is always going to choose a change for a more dramatic effect, so Aemond betraying Aegon is way more interesting than he just being a loyal dog to him. And it have been set up for this. We have Aegon bullying his ass when they are child, even though for Aegon this was nothing serious, because Aegon lacks knowledge of boundaries, he is the guy that bullies his younger brother, the guy that he masturbates naked from his own bedroom window, he is the guy who rapes a girl because he was too drunk and then tries to brush off, to her mom the same way he tried to brush off the fact he bullied his brother, "it was nothing serious". So of course makes sense a drunk adult Aegon humiliate Aemond in such intimacy moment while none of this friends laugh.

Of course Aemond who has desire for power and reflects this in the same way that Daemon desires to be king, and he truly believe he is more suited to be king, thing he said himself to Cole last season, so of course he would take a opportunity that presents it self with Aegon rush into a battle.

And this also adds to Aemond's arc as king slayer because killing Luke may have been a mistake, but burning his own brother was not. Tg being mad that their expectations of those characters didn't match up, doesn't equal bad writing in my view. But also, this coming from me, I don't like Fire and Blood because is a objectively a bad book and is full of inconsistencies, one of then is the battle Rook Rest, in each the show done better.

So does Aemond owe an unyielding loyalty to Aegon? This is hard question to answer because, I don't consume media like that. For me Aemond own nothing to Aegon, betraying him is not morality right, but is not ooc for those reasons I said previously. Like we have favorite characters on this show but we must have in mind those are very gray characters that can be very terrible people and this is a tragic story. The worse possible outcome of things will happen, for dramatic effect or to add to tragic story even if they have good intentions at first.

Now about Alicent, look I think people when analyzing that scene with her on the room forget all the events that happened to Alicent at this point. Alicent in previous council meetings have asking him to proceed with precaution, he ignore her and is rude to her, showing no respect for her, or for anyone on that table, then when Otto comes with idea for pr move he accepts, but Alicent end part of it, something she didn't want and have to watch her own daughter have a breakdown. Then all her effort goes to the trash because Aegon kill every rat catchers and banishes Otto the only person that not only have Aegon best interest but as well it gives Alicent voice in the council.

Tell me now how she wouldn't be pissed at him for him acting so reckless and not listing anyone while banishing away her father? And maybe in other circumstance she would speak to him in a different way. We saw how in the first small council scene she blames the Lannister for the kid behavior because she knows her own son.

But, here we are seeing a drunk mother that is in a middle of life crises very angry at her son.

So the words she would soft spoken to him in other circumstance she says more flatly , with no filter. But none of them are untrue, when she compared him to his father, people don't realize she is not saying Viserys was a good king, and Aegon is trash. She saying that Viserys used to listen to people around him when comes to the best interest of the realm. What Aegon does not.

When she says him to do nothing, people forget she also said he should learn first with all of them in the table. She is basically saying "be more humble and before giving your opinion or do something stupid, learn from others" but Aegon doesn't listen that, what he listens because of his own insecurities and trauma is " my mom find me useless and I have to prove myself because I'm not a fraud."

And you can not blame Alicent for Aegon internalized logic. Is sad he feels this way. But I am already spoken on how they showed Aegon have the same education than Aemond, but he didn't take that seriously, all this in S1 with that training scene, and this lead him to be the terrible leader that he is now and his own insecurities.

Should Alicent support Aegon more? Maybe she should be a more loving mother, but we can't forget her motherhood is a direct response of who she is as person and she is a very flawed individual as anyone and she can have bad days as anyone.

[hello-nichya-here]

Lmao someone said Percy's not a well written character bc he's written to be perfect and lacks character flaws 🤣 and their only argument was "even his fatal flaw was being too good of a friend"

Bruh, what. Do these people not know the difference between "Fatal flaw" and "ONLY flaw"?

Did they not see Percy constantly falling for the old-ass tricks the monsters of greek myths pulled because he is too much of a 12-year-old with ADHD to go "hum, maybe I should study the easily accessible information on these creatures that are constantly trying to kill me and my friends?"

Did they not see how he felt VERY uncomfortable with and downright ashamed of Tyson, his disabled friend that he had previously defended from bullies, when he was revealed to actually be his half brother? How he kept trying to downplay their connection when Tyson was not around, because he didn't like being the kid with the "retarded" sibling? Sure, he realizes he was wrong in the end and goes back to being Tyson's number one defender, but it still happened and made him look like anything EXCEPT an ideal friend.

Did they not see him and Thalia, his friend/first cousin, lose their temper at each other so bad they started fighting for real? Did they not see how he had to use all of his strength not to give in when Ares was fucking with his emotions to provoque him into a fight he obviously could not fucking win?

And even the "your fatal flaw is being too loyal" thing - they did not see him literally holding up the whole sky for Annabeth or jumping into Tartarus to protect her, both things that could have killed him? Did they not see him questioning his own side in the war when Calypso asks him "Percy, are supporting the gods instead of the titans because you think they're good rulers, or because they're your family?"

For fuck's sake, what about the parallels with Luke, the character whose deal is being THE traitor? Both of them had a mom that had the ability to see the monsters and godly stuff most people can't see, both had a divine dad that loved them but was not present for most of their lives - including while they dealing with an abusive parent/step-parent - because the gods are like that, and both were VERY mad at said gods for this kind of thing?

It makes sense that Percy was the "loyal one" as a contrast, and the fact that he comes to see that Luke was not fully in the wrong because while bringing Kronos back WAS a terrible idea, the gods DID need someone to look them in the face and say "YOU SUCK", shows that he does need to be more careful with this loyalty thing because being loyal to the wrong person can have serious consequnces for him and others.

Honestly, this "take" strikes me as coming either from people who never read the books and want to trash it for stuff they got no context for, from those kinds of fans that want to out-smart the story by going "THE MAIN CHARACTER SUCKS, ACTUALLY, AND I AM OBJECTIVELY GREAT FOR NOTICING IT"

[creativeashproductions]

Lost Time // Luke Patterson

Summary: Things changed since Sunset Curve fell apart literally as three out of four members died before a gig. Leaving a sad girl behind Luke by chance runs into the reader with someone else. Death tore the couple apart, and time can’t fix this.

Warning: Talk of death, depression, angst and fluff

Words: 2.2k

Might as well join the Julie and the Phantoms fan club!

*For the sake of the story the time frame has been altered, it takes place in the mid-2000s. Also! I tried to make the reader as generalized as I could to make sure that everyone can relate. The reader is Alex’s sister, for inclusion that can be biological, adopted, half or stepsiblings. I want to make sure all people can be the reader.

Masterlist

THIS IS FROM MY SECONDARY BLOG! REPOST!!

The 1990s was definitely some of the best years of your life watching your brother grow more comfortable in his identity. Alex had kept his sexuality secret, taking the frustration of the secret by learning how to play the drums. You would often be found curled on the chair listening to his growing talent; Alex was a great brother.

Alex found friends in three local boys Reggie, Bobby and Luke, even a little more than friends with Luke briefly. By 1991 the boys had formed a band Sunset Curve with each other and a loyal fan in you. By mid-1994 the band had a fanbase and some gigs, but playing The Orpheum was the goal.

Luke had admitted to Alex, he had feelings for you, and with a lot of encouragement from Alex, he approached you. Luke had been focused on music since his parents gave him his first guitar, so relationships weren’t even on the backburner.

“Hey.” Luke spoke, pressing a kiss to your cheek backstage, “Missed you.”

His hair tickled your skin, bringing a bright smile from the teenage boy and a deep blush from you, private time wasn’t as often as it once had been. After Luke’s fallout with his parents a few months back, he had couch surfed between Reggie and Alex’s rooms; he wasn’t allowed in yours.

“You saw me last night.”

“A monumental time.” Luke bent his bend to place a lingering kiss on your bare shoulder, his jacket having fallen down, “Three years together and a bright future ahead.”

Last night had been the third anniversary of your relationship and hopefully the previous night worrying on parents walking in, cheap dates Luke often felt guilty about. Luke knew in his bones playing The Orpheum tonight would open the door to a legendary future. A future where money wasn’t tight and he could you on dates he deemed acceptable for the love of his life.

Bobby voiced brought Sunset Curve’s lead singer back to that moment, you dropped from the stage to settle in the empty audience to watch the soundcheck. With a wink from Alex, he started making the beat to Now or Never, you beamed as they poured their souls into the song. The four were talented and made to be in a band together even if you didn’t really like Bobby.

Cringing at the awkward wink Bobby sent you turned on your converse to head to the bar for a glass of water. Thanking the bartender, you tuned out the conversation with the waitress and the band only jumping when arms wrapped around your waist.

“We’re getting street dogs.” Luke spoke, bringing your body to rest on his chest, “Do you want one?”

The thought of those street dogs honestly horrifying given they were cooked in some random guys car. The one time you tried, it had permanently tattooed the taste in your memories forever, and just remembering was vomit-inducing.

 “I’ll pass.” You wrinkled your nose, turning to wrap your arms around his neck, “I don’t know how you guys like those.”

“Tradition.” Luke shrugged caressing your cheekbone with the pad of this thumb. Gazing at features he wanted to wake up to for the rest of his life, “Still down with the plan?”

“The minute I’m eighteen, we go to the nearest chapel.” You grinned playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, “I’ll be waiting Rockstar.”

Luke pressed a long passionate kiss on your lips, pulling away to jog over to Alex and Reggie waiting at the door. Bobby having declined the street dog invitation to flirt with the waitress Rose. Alex waved before the door closed. Little did you know that would be the last time you saw them alive.

1995 was the worst year of your life. 1996 was the hardest, especially with the forever reminder of your love. You wouldn’t trade 1996 for the world however, only wishing for one change.

Los Angeles, 2004

Alex, Reggie and Luke had learnt a mere few days away from that life had drastically changed forever. Firstly, the three boys had died from eating the street dogs mere hours before performing on the stage of The Orpheum. Secondly, it was no longer 1995 but instead nearly ten years had past bringing the three ghosts into 2004.

The most jarring wasn’t being able to be heard playing music with a random girl named Julie but that the most constant part of the band no longer was there. You hadn’t died that night, and Alex was pretty sure you were still alive. Luke felt lost waking up without you beside him and the deep regret of not reconciling with his parents.

It would be a week before Luke would swallow his pride enough to orb himself into his unchanged childhood home. Emily, Luke’s mom, was in the well-worn chair knitting a scarf Luke recognized as his favourite colours. Mitch was in the kitchen, putting the groceries away. It was heartbreaking being invisible to his aged parents.

“Hey, Mom.” Luke sniffled sitting on the couch nearby staring at his silent mother, “Sorry for not visiting sooner.”

Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes feeling hopeless, not being able to ease his parents’ pain, the regret and guilt bubbling to the surface.

“How is Y/N? I bet she’s living in New York of London now. We promised to travel the world together. Part of me is guilty of wishing she had eaten a street dog that night so we could be together.” Luke sobbed, wrapping his arms around his midsection reminiscing on the beautiful girl he had unwillingly left.

“Hey.” Mitch spoke, kissing his wife’s forehead. Her eyes closing in contentment.

“I wonder if you know where Reg and Alex’s parents are. Reggie’s neighbourhood was torn down who knows when. It makes me scared to see if Alex and Y/N’s parents still have their place. I don’t think so. They lost their son.”

“Hey Luke.”

Luke glanced over his shoulder to see Alex at the door, reluctant to impose of Luke’s privacy.

“Yeah.”

“We’re rehearsing.” Alex spoke, smiling as the other teenager took one more wistful look at his parents before orbing out of his house to the Molina family’s garage. Minutes later, the front door opening and feet thudding brought the noise to the Patterson home.

“Grandma!”

A four-foot blue of green and black blur covered the room in seconds nearly sprawling Mitch to the floor. Why was that 1996 year difficult? Well, ’95 was when Sunset Curve tragically died, and a stick changed your life. ’96 was spent going through the last five months of pregnancy without Luke.

October 1995

You kept your lips pressed tightly together, unable to look at the smooth, shiny mahogany rectangle surrounded by flowers. Looking up meant the reality kicking in. Funerals sucked. Especially the third funeral in the last handful of days. It was surreal thinking that one week ago you had kissed your boyfriend and hugged your brother and now they were dead. Gone. Not even a goodbye.

“Are you okay?” The broke voice asked, gaining your attention. Swollen red eyes matching yours held unimaginable pain. While the last few months had been icy with your parents, it didn’t mean losing one of their kids didn’t sting.

“I will be.” You whispered clasping your hands over the scratchy black velvet dress, one you had worn three times too many.

The sobs broke out seeing the best picture Alex had taken in his life, it encapsulated his best features; his beaming smile and kind, caring eyes. Alex was gone. Your brother was gone because he ate a bad hot dog with his friends. You would never see your boys again. Never feel Luke’s skin or share a laugh with Alex or complain about things with Reggie. You wouldn’t get to meet in the chapel with Luke wearing second hand ‘fancy’ clothing. In one night, your life changed.

It changed further seeing the two lines on the test later that night. The heartache growing. The baby you carried would never meet his uncles and his Dad. Would never hear them play or learn to play. ’95 and ’96 sucked ass.

You sighed, closing the door to follow the rambunctious ball of energy into the living room where he entertained Mitch and Emily. Some days it was difficult to stare into the green eyes he inherited from his father.

“Benjamin Lucas.” You spoke crossing your arms, meeting the gaze of the eight-year-old boy, “What did I say?”

“To not runoff.” Ben quietly replied, playing with his hands. His messy brown hair, in need of a trim, falling into his eyes, “Sorry Mom.”

“Please don’t do it again.” You gently told the little boy elated as he quickly found the toy box in the corner of the room.

Ben was loved deeply by Mitch and Emily, who had stepped up when your parents made the decision to sell your childhood home. Wanting Ben to know his paternal grandparents, you had struggled to find an apartment and job to say in the neighbourhood. Since the baby was the last part of their son, the Patterson parents’ had welcomed you into the home where you stayed until Ben was two.

“Do you want us to come around for Luke’s birthday?” You questioned sitting on the love seat, the same love seat you had made out on with Luke many times during movies.

The room turned sad at the question and reminded that for the ninth year, you would celebrate Luke’s birthday without him. A day where Ben wouldn’t fully understand. Emily simply nodded her head.

 “Have you met anyone?” Mitch asked, leaning over to clasp his hands together. For the last few years, they had been pushing you to date. They wanted your happiness and for Ben to have a father even if Luke couldn’t be it.

“Mama can we stay here tonight?” Ben’s innocent voice cut the tension, saving you from answering the question again. Mitch and Emily each nodded their heads at the question, unable to tell the young boy no.

“Have you ate?” Emily asked, turning to look at you in concern. The chuckle left your mouth at the question she frequently requested, she missed cooking for more than two.

“We had pasta before we came.” You replied, turning to gaze out the window to the dark sky, “I should put Ben to bed.”

The soft whine from your son and denial was a nightly routine and very much a mirror image to Luke’s character as well. With a smile, Emily held out her hand to her grandchild, she was notoriously the only one able to get Ben to sleep fast.

 “Come on Bug.”

It seemed the universe was keeping Luke from seeing you and discovering Ben, but when that night came, he was shocked. Emily was curled up on the patio couch, watching Ben in the newly bought sandbox. The patio doors opened. Inside, Mitch had invited a stranger who knew his son into the house.

 “I think I heard the doorbell. I’ll be right back.” Emily called out to you. You had found shade under the tree reading a new book.

The soft cry had you up and running to Ben before you even realized, on his knee was a bleeding wound. You had already scooped the boy into your arms to quickly get into the kitchen. The moment your foot stepped into the home, the sound of a familiar voice and song filled the house.

Gently placing Ben on his feet, you followed the sound to the living room. Across the room behind a young girl stood a boy.

“Luke.” You breathed floored at the sight of the teenager who looked exactly like he did back in ’95. The ghost singing widened his eyes at yours, taking in the mature features and change of fashion.

He continued to sing the song Unsaid Emily he had written as an apology to his mom following the last big fight. The song he never got to show her. His voice faded as the ending of the song came around.

“Mama!” Your attention broke from Luke’s when a tiny hand reached for yours. The pain in his voice bringing you back to the most important part of your life, “It hurts Mama.”

Despite being sad, Mitch was the one to cross the room to lift the little boy into his arms. Placing the little boy on the counter, the man gently wet a paper towel to wash the area.

“I think he needs stitches.” Mitch sighed, furrowing his brows.

“Who is that?” Luke asked the Molina girl. The girl shrugged taking in the features she could recognize. Julie asked Emily.

“That’s Ben.” Emily beamed, looking over her shoulder at the little boy that filled the void of Luke’s death. It didn’t fix the wound or erase the pain, but Ben’s existence helped with the loss as he was a precious gift, “When Luke passed away his girlfriend Y/N found out she was pregnant with Luke’s baby.”

The choked sob fell from Luke’s mouth echoed by the thud of his knees, hitting the floor in the pure shock. The heartbreak painted so clear Julie was sure she could feel Luke’s agony.

God, why did Luke have to eat that fucking street dog. Fuck his band dreams. Nothing hurt as bad as finding out about Ben and Y/N having to be a single parent.

“I have a son?” Luke cried, orbing himself as far as he could from the Patterson home and his most tremendous loss.

Part Two

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[agentsofsupernaturalmarvel]

Lost Time // Luke Patterson

Summary: Things changed since Sunset Curve fell apart literally as three out of four members died before a gig. Leaving a sad girl behind Luke by chance runs into the reader with someone else. Death tore the couple apart, and time can’t fix this.

Warning: Talk of death, depression, angst and fluff

Words: 2.2k

Might as well join the Julie and the Phantoms fan club!

*For the sake of the story the time frame has been altered, it takes place in the mid-2000s. Also! I tried to make the reader as generalized as I could to make sure that everyone can relate. The reader is Alex’s sister, for inclusion that can be biological, adopted, half or stepsiblings. I want to make sure all people can be the reader.

Masterlist

The 1990s was definitely some of the best years of your life watching your brother grow more comfortable in his identity. Alex had kept his sexuality secret, taking the frustration of the secret by learning how to play the drums. You would often be found curled on the chair listening to his growing talent; Alex was a great brother.

Alex found friends in three local boys Reggie, Bobby and Luke, even a little more than friends with Luke briefly. By 1991 the boys had formed a band Sunset Curve with each other and a loyal fan in you. By mid-1994 the band had a fanbase and some gigs, but playing The Orpheum was the goal.

Luke had admitted to Alex, he had feelings for you, and with a lot of encouragement from Alex, he approached you. Luke had been focused on music since his parents gave him his first guitar, so relationships weren’t even on the backburner.

“Hey.” Luke spoke, pressing a kiss to your cheek backstage, “Missed you.”

His hair tickled your skin, bringing a bright smile from the teenage boy and a deep blush from you, private time wasn’t as often as it once had been. After Luke’s fallout with his parents a few months back, he had couch surfed between Reggie and Alex’s rooms; he wasn’t allowed in yours.

“You saw me last night.”

“A monumental time.” Luke bent his bend to place a lingering kiss on your bare shoulder, his jacket having fallen down, “Three years together and a bright future ahead.”

Last night had been the third anniversary of your relationship and hopefully the previous night worrying on parents walking in, cheap dates Luke often felt guilty about. Luke knew in his bones playing The Orpheum tonight would open the door to a legendary future. A future where money wasn’t tight and he could you on dates he deemed acceptable for the love of his life.

Bobby voiced brought Sunset Curve’s lead singer back to that moment, you dropped from the stage to settle in the empty audience to watch the soundcheck. With a wink from Alex, he started making the beat to Now or Never, you beamed as they poured their souls into the song. The four were talented and made to be in a band together even if you didn’t really like Bobby.

Cringing at the awkward wink Bobby sent you turned on your converse to head to the bar for a glass of water. Thanking the bartender, you tuned out the conversation with the waitress and the band only jumping when arms wrapped around your waist.

“We’re getting street dogs.” Luke spoke, bringing your body to rest on his chest, “Do you want one?”

The thought of those street dogs honestly horrifying given they were cooked in some random guys car. The one time you tried, it had permanently tattooed the taste in your memories forever, and just remembering was vomit-inducing.

 “I’ll pass.” You wrinkled your nose, turning to wrap your arms around his neck, “I don’t know how you guys like those.”

“Tradition.” Luke shrugged caressing your cheekbone with the pad of this thumb. Gazing at features he wanted to wake up to for the rest of his life, “Still down with the plan?”

“The minute I’m eighteen, we go to the nearest chapel.” You grinned playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, “I’ll be waiting Rockstar.”

Luke pressed a long passionate kiss on your lips, pulling away to jog over to Alex and Reggie waiting at the door. Bobby having declined the street dog invitation to flirt with the waitress Rose. Alex waved before the door closed. Little did you know that would be the last time you saw them alive.

1995 was the worst year of your life. 1996 was the hardest, especially with the forever reminder of your love. You wouldn’t trade 1996 for the world however, only wishing for one change.

Los Angeles, 2004

Alex, Reggie and Luke had learnt a mere few days away from that life had drastically changed forever. Firstly, the three boys had died from eating the street dogs mere hours before performing on the stage of The Orpheum. Secondly, it was no longer 1995 but instead nearly ten years had past bringing the three ghosts into 2004.

The most jarring wasn’t being able to be heard playing music with a random girl named Julie but that the most constant part of the band no longer was there. You hadn’t died that night, and Alex was pretty sure you were still alive. Luke felt lost waking up without you beside him and the deep regret of not reconciling with his parents.

It would be a week before Luke would swallow his pride enough to orb himself into his unchanged childhood home. Emily, Luke’s mom, was in the well-worn chair knitting a scarf Luke recognized as his favourite colours. Mitch was in the kitchen, putting the groceries away. It was heartbreaking being invisible to his aged parents.

“Hey, Mom.” Luke sniffled sitting on the couch nearby staring at his silent mother, “Sorry for not visiting sooner.”

Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes feeling hopeless, not being able to ease his parents’ pain, the regret and guilt bubbling to the surface.

“How is Y/N? I bet she’s living in New York of London now. We promised to travel the world together. Part of me is guilty of wishing she had eaten a street dog that night so we could be together.” Luke sobbed, wrapping his arms around his midsection reminiscing on the beautiful girl he had unwillingly left.

“Hey.” Mitch spoke, kissing his wife’s forehead. Her eyes closing in contentment.

“I wonder if you know where Reg and Alex’s parents are. Reggie’s neighbourhood was torn down who knows when. It makes me scared to see if Alex and Y/N’s parents still have their place. I don’t think so. They lost their son.”

“Hey Luke.”

Luke glanced over his shoulder to see Alex at the door, reluctant to impose of Luke’s privacy.

“Yeah.”

“We’re rehearsing.” Alex spoke, smiling as the other teenager took one more wistful look at his parents before orbing out of his house to the Molina family’s garage. Minutes later, the front door opening and feet thudding brought the noise to the Patterson home.

“Grandma!”

A four-foot blue of green and black blur covered the room in seconds nearly sprawling Mitch to the floor. Why was that 1996 year difficult? Well, ’95 was when Sunset Curve tragically died, and a stick changed your life. ’96 was spent going through the last five months of pregnancy without Luke.

October 1995

You kept your lips pressed tightly together, unable to look at the smooth, shiny mahogany rectangle surrounded by flowers. Looking up meant the reality kicking in. Funerals sucked. Especially the third funeral in the last handful of days. It was surreal thinking that one week ago you had kissed your boyfriend and hugged your brother and now they were dead. Gone. Not even a goodbye.

“Are you okay?” The broke voice asked, gaining your attention. Swollen red eyes matching yours held unimaginable pain. While the last few months had been icy with your parents, it didn’t mean losing one of their kids didn’t sting.

“I will be.” You whispered clasping your hands over the scratchy black velvet dress, one you had worn three times too many.

The sobs broke out seeing the best picture Alex had taken in his life, it encapsulated his best features; his beaming smile and kind, caring eyes. Alex was gone. Your brother was gone because he ate a bad hot dog with his friends. You would never see your boys again. Never feel Luke’s skin or share a laugh with Alex or complain about things with Reggie. You wouldn’t get to meet in the chapel with Luke wearing second hand ‘fancy’ clothing. In one night, your life changed.

It changed further seeing the two lines on the test later that night. The heartache growing. The baby you carried would never meet his uncles and his Dad. Would never hear them play or learn to play. ’95 and ’96 sucked ass.

You sighed, closing the door to follow the rambunctious ball of energy into the living room where he entertained Mitch and Emily. Some days it was difficult to stare into the green eyes he inherited from his father.

“Benjamin Lucas.” You spoke crossing your arms, meeting the gaze of the eight-year-old boy, “What did I say?”

“To not runoff.” Ben quietly replied, playing with his hands. His messy brown hair, in need of a trim, falling into his eyes, “Sorry Mom.”

“Please don’t do it again.” You gently told the little boy elated as he quickly found the toy box in the corner of the room.

Ben was loved deeply by Mitch and Emily, who had stepped up when your parents made the decision to sell your childhood home. Wanting Ben to know his paternal grandparents, you had struggled to find an apartment and job to say in the neighbourhood. Since the baby was the last part of their son, the Patterson parents’ had welcomed you into the home where you stayed until Ben was two.

“Do you want us to come around for Luke’s birthday?” You questioned sitting on the love seat, the same love seat you had made out on with Luke many times during movies.

The room turned sad at the question and reminded that for the ninth year, you would celebrate Luke’s birthday without him. A day where Ben wouldn’t fully understand. Emily simply nodded her head.

 “Have you met anyone?” Mitch asked, leaning over to clasp his hands together. For the last few years, they had been pushing you to date. They wanted your happiness and for Ben to have a father even if Luke couldn’t be it.

“Mama can we stay here tonight?” Ben’s innocent voice cut the tension, saving you from answering the question again. Mitch and Emily each nodded their heads at the question, unable to tell the young boy no.

“Have you ate?” Emily asked, turning to look at you in concern. The chuckle left your mouth at the question she frequently requested, she missed cooking for more than two.

“We had pasta before we came.” You replied, turning to gaze out the window to the dark sky, “I should put Ben to bed.”

The soft whine from your son and denial was a nightly routine and very much a mirror image to Luke’s character as well. With a smile, Emily held out her hand to her grandchild, she was notoriously the only one able to get Ben to sleep fast.

 “Come on Bug.”

It seemed the universe was keeping Luke from seeing you and discovering Ben, but when that night came, he was shocked. Emily was curled up on the patio couch, watching Ben in the newly bought sandbox. The patio doors opened. Inside, Mitch had invited a stranger who knew his son into the house.

 “I think I heard the doorbell. I’ll be right back.” Emily called out to you. You had found shade under the tree reading a new book.

The soft cry had you up and running to Ben before you even realized, on his knee was a bleeding wound. You had already scooped the boy into your arms to quickly get into the kitchen. The moment your foot stepped into the home, the sound of a familiar voice and song filled the house.

Gently placing Ben on his feet, you followed the sound to the living room. Across the room behind a young girl stood a boy.

“Luke.” You breathed floored at the sight of the teenager who looked exactly like he did back in ’95. The ghost singing widened his eyes at yours, taking in the mature features and change of fashion.

He continued to sing the song Unsaid Emily he had written as an apology to his mom following the last big fight. The song he never got to show her. His voice faded as the ending of the song came around.

“Mama!” Your attention broke from Luke’s when a tiny hand reached for yours. The pain in his voice bringing you back to the most important part of your life, “It hurts Mama.”

Despite being sad, Mitch was the one to cross the room to lift the little boy into his arms. Placing the little boy on the counter, the man gently wet a paper towel to wash the area.

“I think he needs stitches.” Mitch sighed, furrowing his brows.

“Who is that?” Luke asked the Molina girl. The girl shrugged taking in the features she could recognize. Julie asked Emily.

“That’s Ben.” Emily beamed, looking over her shoulder at the little boy that filled the void of Luke’s death. It didn’t fix the wound or erase the pain, but Ben’s existence helped with the loss as he was a precious gift, “When Luke passed away his girlfriend Y/N found out she was pregnant with Luke’s baby.”

The choked sob fell from Luke’s mouth echoed by the thud of his knees, hitting the floor in the pure shock. The heartbreak painted so clear Julie was sure she could feel Luke’s agony.

God, why did Luke have to eat that fucking street dog. Fuck his band dreams. Nothing hurt as bad as finding out about Ben and Y/N having to be a single parent.

“I have a son?” Luke cried, orbing himself as far as he could from the Patterson home and his most tremendous loss.

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[yutaya]

Iron Fist Rewatch 1x05: Under Leaf Pluck Lotus

I like this shot. The way the women are shown reflected in the wall first. Also lol quintessential synchronized female power strut

Why wait until you’re IN the office to move your wedding ring?? Or to unbutton your shirt? Well, that one I can understand - let all the people who see you heading INTO the office see the shirt still buttoned up. The ring, though - unless the POINT is to be seen moving it? Imply that you’re open to cheating or something? Ugh.

This is so sketchy.

Danny’s employees be like: “Having? My voice heard? At work? Having? My opinion? Be valued? My? Contribution? Being? Acknowledged? Personally??? ??? ??? What is happening????? ??????” And then it’s the “the worthy leader’s people love and are completely loyal to them” trope (aka one of my greatest weaknesses) forever. <3

Lmao Joy you’re cold.

“Is that heroin? You bring drugs into my office?” *Laughing/sobbing*

Ward just staring blankly while Danny name drops a bunch of triad stuff like Ward is supposed to know what that is. Danny: “...It’s a criminal syndicate.” Ward: *heavy sigh*

Danny, continuing: “So I was talking to the criminals with the hatchets and asked them for intel. They sent me a box, which was clearly a message!” Ward: “You 👏 sound 👏 in 👏 sane. 👏” Danny: “No, look, the proof is that the symbol on this heroin looks like the undying dragon that made me a living weapon!”

Lol “Harold said so himself” no faster way to turn Ward off a plan, sorry Danny

Danny. How do you manage to make half your conversations sound sketchy as hell?

Joy: *brings up the Hatchet men and Red Hook right after Danny was telling Ward about it in relation to the Hand* Ward: *alarm bells ringing because HAS DANNY BEEN TELLING JOY ALL THE THINGS WE SPECIFICALLY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TELL JOY?* Joy: Anyway, about Dad’s cancer... Ward: Oh, ok then.

Siiiiiiigh this conversation where Ward reassures Joy that she’s a good person making the right decision when she feels bad about doing something but does it anyway - to protect their own company and personal interests - and adds on a load of “also you don’t really feel guilty because you think this is wrong, you just feel sad because you’re remembering Dad, don’t mix it up”

Colleen to Claire, Iron Fist 1x05: “Oh what was that? Come on, hit me.” Colleen to Misty, Luke Cage 2x03: *hitting directly on Misty’s stump while Misty yells at her to stop* “You came to me. I’m not easy. You don’t like that?”

Claire: “I guess I got tired of people doing things for me all the time.” Claire was a helpful nurse in Daredevil, and a friend with medical knowledge in Luke Cage - Iron Fist is where she says “I am tired of being reactionary”

LOL Danny’s cute little smile when he comes in to see Colleen doing her normal thing, training a student, just - it’s so loving and adorable even though they BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER YET

Claire just giving Colleen knowing looks ahahahaha

This scene is SO CUTE Jessica and Finn do such a great job playing all the body language and speech cadences like two teenagers with crushes on each other

DANNY ordering takeout for a talk with someone without even checking to see if they’re free first is SO PRESUMPTUOUS what if she wasn’t free (which she WASN’T) or didn’t want to talk or had already eaten/already had meal plans?

I’m literally laughing out loud hahahaha takeout hahahaha

Claire is laughing at them too. This fumbling “date?” conversation is too adorable I can’t

LMAO Claire knows EXACTLY how much she is third wheeling them right now but she doesn’t care because Damn that food looks good. Girl knows what she wants. (Also a little bit of female solidarity helping to buffer when your friend has literally said “no” to the guy - but in this particular case it’s SO OBVIOUS that Colleen likes him back that I read she’s leaning more towards the ‘it’s just to make sure but also that food looks REALLY good’ - then again, especially with all the things Claire has seen there really is no such thing as ‘too cautious’... let’s go with the way she hints is an opening and when Colleen leaps on the opportunity for Claire to stay it becomes ‘yep, I’m definitely doing this, Colleen doesn’t want to be alone with the dude: confirmed’)

Ward is looking at the problem as what it is: a set-up, and they don’t fall for traps. Joy goes “Remember that I am better at public perception than you - there are more factors here to consider than what everyone involved in this particular case knows. I’M thinking long term about potential future ramifications.”

“He’s in a completely different world, Joy.” “He lives in ours, now.”

That awkward moment when you’re already digging in and someone starts praying

The way Danny just goes shutters down mode when Claire starts probing about how harsh life in the monastery was

Colleen, brainwaving to Claire: ‘YOU BITCH DON’T LEAVE ME HERE’ Claire, brainwaving right back: ‘”Vow of chastity.” I’m good. You’re on your own, girl.’ She does do one last check in to make sure Colleen really isn’t worried though which I appreciate.

Danny. You lovable buffoon. You think Ward’s problem is that he doesn’t believe you? And that if he did believe this was happening he would of course immediately take action to shut it down? Colleen to Ward, sometime in the future: “Danny has Always had way more faith in you than you deserve.” ToT

Colleen: “Ok soooo I’m still not seeing the part where you had to come tell me this? Am I just your favorite sounding board or...?” Danny: “Well, I want you to come stakeout and possibly getting killed WITH me, of course.” Colleen: “Wait, is this a date?” Danny: “What? No! I mean. Unless you want it to be?” Colleen: “No!” Danny: “No. No, uh, definitely, uh, not a date. Heh.” Colleen: “Good.” Danny: “Good.” *both nod*

Of course the argument that gets to Colleen is how this will endanger her students.

DANNY trying to convince someone to do something and then when they hesitate dropping “by the way I’m your new landlord” on them is SKETCHY you foolish foolish boy. How do you manage to come across so sketchy all the time?!

Ward: *cheerfully throwing Danny under the bus* Joy: *warning Look* Ward: *sighhhhhh you ruin all my fun Joy*

Joy: *radiating ‘just wait til we’re alone’ vibes at Ward* “:) I will back up my brother wholeheartedly because we are a united front and I refuse to let the board see any cracks to even try and exploit :)” *’JUST YOU WAIT WARD YOUR ASS IS GRASS’*

Ahahaha “Ward has always led our company to greatness with his mad genius” when Ward knows most of those decisions were actually Harold I’m cry

Danny. That’s Colleen’s private property Danny. It’s very presumptuous to order takeout, buy her building, and start playing with her katana, Danny.

Martial art style teasing rivalry culture I love it

They’re too cute

AI YA

“suck on that, Dad” Ward be like “yeah i went against everything smart that Joy and board were arguing for me to do just to make your precious company look bad DAD whatchu gonna do, huh? gonna send me more vaguely threatening text messages about how not a single moment in my life is private from you, huh, DAD? fuck you”

Danny: “it’s just nice, having someone to count on.” Colleen: “You have the Meachums.” Danny: *remains silent* IT’S SO DAMNING ahahaha Colleen has so many reasons to hate the Meachums hahahaha

Danny: “I don’t even know what I’m doing or saying until it’s taken the wrong way,” Well, I’m glad you realize that, Danny. You’ve seen how many times in the last TWO EPISODES ALONE people have recoiled slightly and gone “woah, woah, what are you doing?” Oh buddy.

Danny: “Ok, look, this stakeout is dangerous, but it’s not ILLEGAL. Technically, I own that pier, so it’s not trespassing or anything.” Radovan: “No hospitals! I’m a wanted man in several countries.”

High Ward T_T and the two different conversations Ward and Joy are having right now T_T and the way Joy doesn’t have the information to even begin to know what Ward is talking about but how she can FEEL that it’s BAD and - T___T

High Ward with his walls down cuddling Joy’s arm and saying “you stood by me” and Joy scared as hell but not hesitating on “we’re family,” as her explanation T________T

“The Hand.” - Danny knew this was The Hand going in. Claire is freaking out because SHE LEFT HELL’S KITCHEN TO GET AWAY FROM THE HAND FUCK THAT HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO HER? Colleen is freaking out for an entirely different reason. :(

“The Hand is everywhere.” Cut from Claire and Danny to a new shot of Colleen looking on in the background.

Claire: “This is not something a rich kid from the Upper West Side can just ‘handle’, ok? This is a job that requires someone with special.... skills.” Ahahahaa poor Claire how DOES this keep happening to her?

Danny, with utmost conviction: “I am the ONLY one who can defeat them.” Claire: *long, defeated sigh. How many freaking times has she heard this before and how many times will she hear it again?*

Colleen: “This is my choice.” Danny hears: “because it’s the right thing to do and I care about the people of this city especially my kids who are highly likely to be effected and also I maybe care about you too.” Colleen means: “because this is the Bad Hand that is sullying my family’s good name and I will not let that stand. I will work together with my family and we will defeat this.”

Gao: “’His hands’. Are you sure it wasn’t his fist?” Guard: “Ummmmm what’s the difference”

CULTS ARE SO SCARY HE REALLY JUST KNELT THERE AAAAAH

[chiclet-go-boom]

in case you didn’t know

I’m really sucked into Star Wars right now in general and Kylo Ren in particular. You can’t have missed it, my entire blog is covered in black armor and tastefully done softcore porn of Ben Solo’s alter ego. But we’re down to less than 30 days to the last movie so I figured I’d better put this out there into the void before its too late and listen to it scream on the way down.

I love all the sequel characters. All of them. I think Finn is fan-fucking-tastic, I love Rey to pieces, I dig Poe a whole shit ton and adored his arc in TLJ. Adored. Rose is amazing (go tazer girl!), Hux is my murder-baby who ain’t getting no love, and Kylo Ren is, like... yeah. Hell, Holdo turned me around twice with how I felt about her and I ain’t forgetting it.

I am at once flabbergasted and proud of Rian for subverting Luke Skywalker’s story. Again, did not see that coming. Really struggled to come to terms with it actually but holy shit, the golden child of the first three movies is a person, with flaws? Flaws that cause untold damage, equal to and more than the redemption he originally brought? That Luke Skywalker was traumatized like the rest of us and fucked up because of it? That he died unforgiven by the person he wronged most? Holy shit. Have the bouquet of roses and the tiara, Rian. That really meant something to me. 

I liked The Force Awakens but I loved The Last Jedi if you couldn’t tell. Rian blew my socks off. Did not see ANY of that coming and I squealed excitedly at that final trailer like the rest of us goombas. How did we manage to get a trailer that looked like it showed damned near everything and pretty much showed nothing? Magic. That was fucking editing magic. Bless you magic editing woman in the background whom I will never know. 

Kylo Ren speaks to me on an emotional level that would take many paragraphs to touch on, let alone explore. 

I am beyond excited for The Rise of Skywalker. 12/10, already have my tickets for Thursday and Friday night showings. 

I have thought deeply about this and have come to the following conclusions:

MY REQUIREMENTS FOR TROS

Kylo Ren must choose to be redeemed*

Kylo Ren must live

THINGS I’D REALLY LIKE IN TROS

Rey and Kylo have some fucking unambiguous romantic ending. Is that a kiss? A clutch-hug just before a fight or in front of a double sunrise? Murmured words of love on the battlefield and a promise that might be impossible to keep? A SACRIFICE MOVE?! Don’t care, surprise me. Won’t die if it doesn’t happen but yeah, I want it bad enough to taste it.

Something more than 5 minutes onscreen with the Knights of Ren. I don’t expect they’ll spend much time on it, but I want it. I want to know more about this cadre, where they came from, who they are, if they’re loyal to Snoke, or the First Order or Kylo in specific (please be loyal to Kylo, please be loyal to Kylo).

Some really bad ass moves from Kylo. I don’t know. Crush a Star Destroyer or something. Give me something to squeal about and possibly touch myself over later. 

THINGS THAT I EXPECT WILL NOT HAPPEN BUT I WANT TO HAPPEN ANYWAYS

Gimme Stormpilot. I not so secretly wish for Poe and Finn to move beyond bro territory, although there’s nothing in TLJ that supports it as a viable canon relationship. But damn it, I want it anyways. 

Stormtrooper rebellion. Sue me, I want more Finns to find their way out.

* Kylo Ren can stay Dark, in fact, I hope he does. I don’t want him to have to drag his bleeding trauma back over that sith/jedi line in the service of forgiveness and redemption. I don’t really need the guy to go back to being Ben Solo, unless he truly decides he wants to pick that identity back up again. Acknowledge it, yes. Can’t escape your past, amigo. But be Ben Solo again? Don’t need it, that’s on Kylo to figure out (and if it does happen, I really hope it’s not a cheesy 4 second declaration of allegiance switching). But I do want him to realize how damaged he is, how much of it isn’t his fault but he still Did The Bad Things and start... working his way back from it.

So, we’re clear on this, yes? I have -expectations- of the last movie and I have deep feelings about all the sequels movies. 

(In the entire sequel trilogy, the only thing I am meh on is the standard cutesy animals. They’re cute. That’s what they’re there for. The exist for about a combined 3 minutes of “d’awww!” and I’m too old to really care but I appreciate that the plushies are likely doing well in the toy stores. If somebody bought me a little crystal fox I’d be fine with that but my world is complete without one.)))

[takaraphoenix]

Jercy Week Day 3: Loyalty

Prince Perseus was the second youngest child of King Neptune and Queen Salacia.

Prince of the ocean and of all merpeople. And he was absolutely breathtaking. Everyone who got to meet the prince in person knew that. His skin was a light, soft blue and so was his long, sleek tail, his eyes were a sparkling sea-green and his hair black, softly floating around his face.

Jason had watched the young prince grow up, through the press and through official events when the royal family would visit Atlantis. He had always admired the prince, who had the kindest smiles and who always interacted with everyone. The prince got into a lot of trouble all the time, it was always a topic of gossip around Atlantis.

Jason? He came from nothing. His mother had died when Jason was only two years old. His big sister Thalia and her best friend Luke had basically raised him. Jason and Thalia grew up on the streets, urchins living in a gang of orphans. Stealing to get by and have food on the table.

He worked hard. As soon as he was old enough, he started working hard. He joined the army, went through basic training, he worked his way through the ranks, climbed the ladder.

He came from nothing and he got everything.

He was a decorated general, the youngest that Atlantis' army had ever seen. He was highly respected and had the king himself pin the medal to Jason's chest. Probably the last medal he would ever earn, because during that last battle, he had lost one of his fins. He couldn't go back to war, not like that. And just like that, he was back at square one, back to having nothing.

/break\

Jason was sitting on the couch, glaring at the wall. He had bought the house for them, once he had the money. Thalia and Jason's three best friends – Leo, Piper and Reyna. Luke had moved in with his by now fiance a couple of years ago and had taken the youngest street-kids with him. Jason and Thalia had taken the older. Jason wondered how long they'd be able to afford it.

"Stop sulking, Jay", sighed Reyna and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"We'll be fine", assured Piper gently, tilting her head.

Reyna was also in the army. She'd leave soon again for deployment. Piper had gotten a job as a chamber-maiden at the palace, Leo worked at the forges. They would be fine, probably. And Atlantis took care of their veterans, so it wasn't like they stood there with nothing now that Jason was honorably discharged. It still stung. Jason had worked so hard and now it was all gone.

A knocking at the door disturbed Jason's gloominess. Thalia swam right through the living room to go and open the door. Jason sighed and slipped lower on the couch, fingers clawed into the armrest.

"...Jason. Jason, it's... for you", called Thalia out, sounding stunned.

"I'm not in the mood for visitors", growled Jason back.

"I did hope you would welcome your queen."

Jason froze and turned slowly to see that indeed, it was Queen Salacia. She smiled kindly, her brown hair flowing around her as did the pink silken robes she was wearing. The light from outside caught in her crown, making it sparkle. Piper and Reyna exchanged a surprised look.

"Queen Salacia, what... It's an honor, but... what are you doing here?", asked Jason slowly.

"I've watched your career very closely, General Jason", replied the queen with a smile.

"My... You... have?", grunted Jason stunned and confused.

"You and I, we're much alike", continued Queen Salacia with a kind smile. "We both came from nothing and we worked very hard to get to where we are."

Slowly, Jason nodded at that. She had come from nothing, that was true. A teenaged orphan working hard at a bakery and catching the recently widowed king's eye. She never forgot her roots though, she had always watched out for the little guy. She always kept close to her neighborhood.

"Percy... Prince Perseus, he's a good boy, but oh, he is a lot of trouble", sighed the queen, brushing her hair out of her face. "He's a free spirit. He's not made to stay cooped up in the palace. He wants to explore. I... I'm so afraid that something will happen to him."

"I... understand that. He's your son", nodded Jason. "But... what do I have to do with this...?"

"You are a good, honorable man, General", replied the queen. "A strong fighter and brave soldier. And you are, above all else, loyal to the royal family."

"I... am", nodded Jason, still very much confused.

"I felt for you, during the ceremony. Being discharged. I know the service meant a lot to you. I'm here because I want to offer you a job. It might not be what you are used to, it might not be what you were expecting of your life at this point, but I had hoped you might be up to becoming the prince's personal guard", explained Queen Salacia. "He wants to travel the ocean and I don't want him to travel alone. If that is... in any way a job you could see yourself doing... come to the palace and see me. For now, just think on it, please."

All Jason could do was nod in confusion and watch the queen leave. What had just happened...?

/break\

"Wait, so the queen wants you to become the prince's bodyguard?", asked Leo excitedly.

He rubbed the dirt off his cheek. He had just gotten home from work to hear the news. Piper and Reyna were making dinner together, Thalia was setting the table and Jason was just sitting at the table, staring into the figurative void. He was still trying to process.

"Apparently, my little brother left an impression", chuckled Thalia.

"Percy is pretty amazing", shrugged Piper.

"Percy?", echoed Jason doubtfully, one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah. He prefers to be called Percy. We ran into each other a lot – he regularly steals laundry from the laundry room to build pillow-fords with his younger brother", grinned Piper. "He's a good guy."

"No one doubts that", sighed Jason. "But... am I fit to protect the prince?"

"Well, how about a trial run?", suggested Reyna with a shrug. "Test it. For... a week or two. See how well you two work with each other. See if this can work."

"Not a bad idea", agreed Thalia.

"You know exactly what I mean", grumbled Jason with a glare, flapping his tail.

"Oh please", huffed Leo and rolled his eyes. "The new fin I built you works perfectly as a replacement. You might not be as fast anymore as you were and you can't use your tail for fighting anymore, but it's not like you can't swim straight."

"Leo-", started Piper with a frown.

"No", grunted Leo and shook his head. "Jay, I love you man, but we're all getting real tired of your moping. You lost your fin during battle. It sucks. It really sucks. But it's been... months. And it's been months that you have returned home and... you need to get your shit together. You gotta train, learn to use your new fin and you got to sort your life out again. You did it before. You worked your ass off to achieve what you had. It took years of hard work, but you did. You gotta do it again and it sucks, but you know you can do it and sitting here and giving up is not like you."

Jason stared at his best friend in surprise, before he let his eyes wander over the others. Piper and Reyna avoided his gaze, Piper shuffling around a little. Thalia was the one to heave a sigh.

"Leo's right", agreed Thalia. "You've been... bitter and moping since you got home. If this is a new chance, in any way or shape, then take it. Please don't give up, Jason. Give this a chance."

"Who knows where it'll take you", tagged Reyna on gently. "Try it."

/break\

Percy was laying on the ground in the stables, arms crossed over his chest, a deep glare on his face. He wanted to travel the ocean, but his mom and dad were being overly protective of him. Dad flat-out said no, mom got him down to 'in the company of a guard'. Percy was twenty-three. Other, normal merpeople that age went to college or had work already, some were even already married. And he was being coddled, just because he was the prince. He hated it.

"Big brother? Why are you moping?", asked his baby-brother Tyson.

Sighing, Percy opened his arms and welcomed his brother in his arms. Tyson happily snuggled up to him. The little boy was barely eight and he absolutely adored Percy and Percy adored him.

"I wanna travel, but mom and dad are being... mom and dad", sighed Percy.

"But they said yes?", offered Tyson, even more confused.

"If I take a guard with me", grumbled Percy. "That's... like a babysitter. I'm too old for a babysitter."

"That's true", agreed Tyson and tilted his head. "But it's because mom and dad love you and are worried, right? That's not a bad thing... right?"

"I guess", sighed Percy with a frown. "But still..."

"You should at least meet him, right? I didn't want a babysitter either, but then I met Rachel and now I really-really love her and spending time with her sister Ella", suggested Tyson. "Maybe you'll like your babysitter too and it'll be all okay?"

"...Maybe", mused Percy with a small smile, kissing the top of Tyson's head. "Thanks, bro."

"Boys. Here you are", sighed Sally as she entered the stables.

"Mom? You were looking for us?", asked Percy and sat up.

The queen sighed as she swam up to her children. "Percy. I want you to meet General Jason. He agreed to come and guard you for a week, to see if the two of you can get along. And if you do, if he agrees to take the job, then you... Your father and I agreed to send you to the Pacific Ocean as our ambassador, officially. You can go, if you take a guard."

Percy perked up at that. He got to travel and do official family business. Two birds, one stone. All he had to do was get along with his babysitter. His babysitter, who... oh. Nice. Tall, broad-shouldered, muscular arms, sharp features, a golden tail and golden-blonde hair, electric-blue eyes. There was a scar on his lip and he was missing his right tail-fin, but neither made him any less handsome.

"General Jason", said Percy slowly, surprised. "Mom. When you said guard, I was not expecting a highly decorated general of our army. Are you kidding me?"

"Please", huffed Sally amused. "You really think your dad would have agreed for just any guard?"

Percy rolled his eyes and got up to properly greet the general. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for your service, general."

"It will be an honor to work for you, your highness", replied Jason and bowed.

"Right, no. First rule: No highness and majesty stuff. I'm Percy. Not Perseus", stated Percy. "That's a really important one, okay? Okay. Now... mh... Right. How about I show you around?"

"That would be much appreciated, your... Percy", nodded Jason with a small smile.

Percy laughed at that and flipped his tail. "Okay, so, this is Blackjack. He's important. He'll come with us, when we travel. I've trained him since he was a foal."

Jason stared in amazement. Everyone usually did. Hippocampi were shimmering in all the colors of the rainbow, but Blackjack was, as the name might suggest, pitch-black. He whined and tilted his head, leaning in to sniff Jason suspiciously.

"That the babysitter, boss?", asked Blackjack.

"That the babysitter", confirmed Percy with a smile. "And aside from Blackjack, two more will accompany us. Annabeth and Mrs. O'Leary. They're very important."

"Annabeth... Chase? Your personal adviser?", guessed Jason, earning a nod. "And who is this Mrs. O'Leary? I'll be happy to meet her, if she is that important to you."

Percy grinned and whistled. Moments later and an orca tackled Percy, licking his cheek.

"That is Mrs. O'Leary", grinned Percy, patting the orca's head.

"...Of course does the prince have a pet orca", muttered Jason beneath his breath.

Percy's grin grew at that. He had a feeling he was going to like Jason.

/break\

Percy did like Jason. And it was a mutual thing. They hit it off right away. The trial week passed in the blink of an eye and both of them agreed that they worked together pretty well. King and queen seemed very pleased with the match-up too and a week after, they packed their stuff up and left the Atlantic Ocean behind. Blackjack and Mrs. O'Leary were pulling the chariot, with Annabeth, Jason and Percy in it. Annabeth kept eyeing the boys suspiciously.

"Why do you keep glaring at us, Annabeth?", asked Jason with a frown.

"Just waiting for Percy to crack", shrugged Annabeth with a small, nearly mean grin.

"What does that mean?", asked Jason confused, earning a huff from Percy.

Two hours later and he had his answer. The gorgeous prince was not good with being cooped up in enclosed space with nothing to do. Percy laid sprawled out on the bench, including Jason who sat next to him. It was startling for Jason, even though he had gotten used to Percy in the past week, but the level of comfort and physicality that was so quintessentially Percy was still... odd to him.

"I'm bo—ored. I'm so—o bo—ored, Annie, when are we the—ere", groaned Percy.

Annabeth rolled her eyes and didn't look up from the book she was reading. "The same as five minutes ago, minus five minutes. Pacifika is not exactly right around the corner, Perce."

"I kno—ow, but... urgh", grunted Percy. "When will someone invent a teleporter?"

"You are a god. You could teleport", offered Annabeth, raising one eyebrow. "Your dad's literally the god of the ocean. Me and the general, we would have to travel."

"Well, that'd be even more boring", pouted Percy with a huff.

Jason smiled, just faintly. Their bickering reminded him a lot of Thalia. After another hour of riding, he started caressing the prince's tail, more out of boredom than anything else. There was something soft laying on his lap, so why not pat it. It was instinct. But it seemed to actually help, because Percy settled down and quieted down, to the point that Annabeth lowered her book suspiciously and watched them in surprise. But all Jason could look at was the prince, calm and serene and beautiful.

/break\

Jason woke screaming from a nightmare. His eyes were wide and wild, his breathing rattled.

"Jason? Jay? You alright? What happened?"

He turned stiffly, looking unfocused at the figure at the door, ready to attack. The figure paused.

"Jason. Jason, you're alright. You're in Pacifika. It's me, Percy. You're safe. It's Saturday, it's... three AM, you're in your room in the Pacifican palace. You're safe. Everything is fine."

The voice was gentle and soothing and came very slowly closer. Taking shaky breaths, Jason slowly started to focus. The figure in front of him came back into focus. Percy. The prince.

"Breath with me", whispered Percy gently. "Slowly. In and out. You're fine. Can I... touch you?"

Jason shook his head jerkily, but he managed to regulate his breathing. Sighing, he pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. When he looked up again, Percy was still there, watching him concerned and not looking as though he planned on moving.

"You better?", asked Percy carefully.

"I... I... yes", nodded Jason, taking deep breaths. "I'm sorry if I woke you. It's just..."

"Yeah?", prompted Percy very gently. "You had a flashback, right? PTSD, huh?"

"...Yes", nodded Jason tentatively, leaning heavily against the headboard.

"I get that. I mean, I don't get it. But... Proteus, my oldest brother, he's been a general for a while now. He sometimes gets that. Panic attacks and flashbacks", offered Percy carefully. "You... wanna talk about it? Or not? Not is fine too. I just... If you need someone, I'm here for you, okay?"

Jason stared at Percy in surprise. "I am your protector. I should be there for you."

Percy just shrugged. "You're supposed to protect me, sure. But that doesn't mean I can't be there for you. You... I'd like for us to be friends, you know? And friends are there for each other."

"...Thank you", whispered Jason gently, looking at the prince.

"So. Is there anything I can do?", wanted Percy to know.

"I... I don't know if it's asking too much, but usually, when I have... Thalia, my older sister, she'd stay with me, just... hold me", shrugged Jason and bit his lips. "It helps me feel grounded to know there's another living, breathing being there, here. Helps me keep from slipping back."

"That's okay", nodded Percy and got comfortable, laying down to face Jason. "So...?"

"It's the new place", sighed Jason and shook his head. "Every time I sleep somewhere else, the first night always... gives me flashbacks, because it's all... new."

Percy hummed softly and folded one arm under his head, looking at Jason. He started talking about something unimportant and silly, just to keep Jason distracted, until they both fell asleep.

/break\

People didn't give Prince Perseus the credit he deserved. It was all the way in Arctika that Jason's tail started acting up. He was still not a hundred percent used to the fake tail-fin. Long swims still were too much for him. He glared viciously at his tail as he slowed down.

"I'm sorry. I really need a break. I'm parched. Why don't we have some sushi? This place looks like a lovely inn and I could truly use the break", declared Percy with the brightest smile.

He was fanning himself and convincing the local royals to take a break. Percy turned toward Jason and winked at him. He had noticed that Jason's tail was acting up. Because Percy noticed things. Percy was brilliant and caring and sweet and kind and he always did everything to help those around him. Over the past weeks of traveling together... Jason had... fallen for the prince.

"Thank you, Perce", whispered Jason softly as they sat down at the table.

"What? Why? I'm absolutely starving and I'm very exhausted", hummed Percy innocently. "I am, after all, just a frail little prince, not used to such long, exhausting swims."

He winked and grinned broadly. How was this boy so cute and amazing...?

/break\

It was during their last stop that Jason had already gotten used to Percy sneaking into his bed during the first night. Every hotel they stayed at, whether it be the small stops during the way when the journey was too long, or when they had reached a palace, Percy would always come to him to make sure Jason would not be alone during the first night.

"I'm really liking this place", started Percy with a soft yawn, patting Mrs. O'Leary.

The orca was sprawled out half on top of the two. Jason smiled and also patted the small whale. He had gotten so used to Percy, to them all. To this all. Percy, after he had noticed that Jason was not fully used to his fin, had taken to doing exercises with Jason. He kept an eye on Jason, to make sure he was okay – even though it was Jason's job to make sure Percy was alright.

"You're amazing", whispered Jason as he stared at the prince's face.

"Ye—eah. What else is new?", asked Percy and laughed.

"No", whispered Jason more urgently, shaking his head. "No. You are absolutely amazing. I was... This was supposed to be a job. But you... you're so much more than a job. You helped me... through something I didn't think I'd ever get through. I'm not through it yet, but... you helped me so much. I... admire you. In a way I never admired someone before. I... adore... you..."

"So, this like... a platonic adoration, or is this a love-confession?", asked Percy cautiously.

"What... Whatever you want it to be", admitted Jason. "I know it is highly unprofessional and I know we have only known each other for a few, precious months now, but... no one has ever made me feel the way you make me feel. Even though I am your bodyguard and I am loyal to the throne, but I can not... I can't betray my heart either."

"Well. You're amazing too, you know?", smiled Percy and leaned in very slowly. "You're funny and cute and I love spending time with you. I've always made friends easily, but with you... with you it feels different. I... I feel different, when I'm with you."

"You... You do?", asked Jason surprised, eyes wide.

"I do", confirmed Percy and reached out to cup Jason's cheek. "So... kiss?"

Jason snorted at that, shaking his head. "You're absolutely ridiculous and I adore you."

"Yeah, yeah. We covered that. Now, kiss or no kiss?", asked Percy with a grin.

Smiling faintly, Jason bridged the last space between them and pressed his lips against Percy's. He could feel the excited flutter of Percy's tail, his fins brushing against Jason's tail because they laid so close. Eagerly, Percy scooted closer and closer to him until they were pressed against each other, Percy's hands against Jason's chest, trapped between them as Jason had his arms around Percy's waist to keep him close. Slowly, Percy wrapped his tail around Jason's to keep him close too.

"I adore you a lot, General Jason", whispered Percy against Jason's lips before kissing him again.

"Your father is going to kill me", whispered Jason with a crooked grin.

"Oh yeah, he will totally pull your scales off one by one", confirmed Percy seriously, nodding. "Seriously, you break my heart, he'll break your spine. That is one hundred percent a thing."

"Well, I guess I better not break your heart then, mh?", whispered Jason amused.

Mrs. O'Leary made a long-drawn cooing sound at that and nudged them both, as though she was agreeing to them. Percy and Jason laughed before they adjusted to lay more comfortably together, with the orca comfortable next to them. Jason smiled as he fell asleep with Percy in his arms.

~*~ The End ~*~

Read this here on FFNet & here on AO3

[tabbytabbytabby]

Prompt 40 for Sterek? Please

40. “A package arrived for you, but there’s no return address and the box looks really old.”

From this listAlso on AO3

Stiles is confused, and a little wary when he shows up at Derek’sto see a strange package on his doorstep. It’s not that Derek doesn’t get mail,he’s started becoming a productive member of society so of course he’s going tohave things like bills. Derek just doesn’t order a lot of things, at least notthat Stiles is aware of.  So whatever this package is, Stiles is bettingit’s not here because Derek wanted it.

He walks up to itslowly, examining the packaging with an intense stare. Given everything they’vedealt with he’s right to be suspicious. Granted, hurting Derek by mailing himsomething doesn’t scream supernatural. It doesn’t even scream hunter to himbecause he knows any hunter would want Derek to suffer and mailing him anexplosive isn’t really going to achieve that.

Stiles is stillstaring at the package when Derek opens the door and peers out at him, “Isthere a reason you’re just hanging out on my porch? You usually just letyourself in.”

Stiles glances up athim before gesturing down at the package, “A package arrived for you, butthere’s no return address and the box looks really old.”

Derek’s brow furrowsas he looks down at the package, “That’s strange.”

“So you weren’texpecting something?”

Derek shakes his head,“No. Cora sometimes sends me stuff but she usually puts her name on it and itwouldn’t look this worn down.”

Derek goes to pick itup and Stiles moves forward, gripping his arm with wide eyes, “What the helldude? You can’t just pick it up! You don’t know what’s in there! It could bedangerous!”

Derek looks from thepackage back to Stiles, “I hardly doubt someone would try to hurt me by mailingme a package Stiles.”

Stiles had come to thesame conclusion but he’s still suspicious and nowhere near sure enough to justlet Derek pick it up, “Can’t you just sniff it or something and make sure it’snot dangerous?”

Derek rolls his eyesbut bends down and sniffs at the package, his nose wrinkling in distaste, “Itdoesn’t smell dangerous, just really musty, like it’s been locked away for along time.”

“I suppose it would bepointless to suggest you wait for me to call my Dad and have him call someonefrom the bomb squad to come inspect the package, wouldn’t it?”

Derek looks up at him,his lips twitching slightly, “I’d be able to smell if it was a bomb Stiles.”

“What if it’s cursed?”Stiles asks, “Can’t I just…Derek!”

Derek doesn’t wait forStiles to finish, just picks up the package and stands up with it. He grins atStiles as he brings it into the house, Stiles trailing behind him, “Nothinghappened when I picked it up.”

“Of course not, youasshole. Bad things happen when you openit. So don’t… or just ignore meand open it anyway.”

Stiles sighs as Dereksmirks at him and starts carefully opening the package. When nothing happensafter the box is opened Stiles step closer, unable to hide his curiosity, “Whatdo you think is in there?”

“We’re about to findout.”

Hit sits down on thecouch, the box in front of him. Stiles takes a seat next to him. Derek pullssomething out of the box, this one looking much more cared for, “Is that aphoto album?”

Derek looks at himwith wide eyes before looking back towards the album, on top of it is a note.Derek picks it up, reading it over before sucking in a breath. He hands thenote over to Stiles who examines the note curiously

Derek,

You probably don’tremember me but I knew your mother. We were close while she was still alive.She had me working on a spell so that she could have more pictures of yourfamily without the lens flare.  I figured the spell out but sadly Taliadied before I could get the pictures to her. I held onto them just in case. Iheard you took up a more permanent residence in Beacon Hills and thought youdeserved to have a piece of your family. I know going through these might behard but just know that your mother loved you and would want you to have these.

All the Best, S

Stiles looks from theletter over to Derek who is holding the album tightly in his hands, “Do youhave any idea who S could be?”

Derek shakes his head,clearing his throat before speaking, “My Mom knew a lot of people, weres andmagic users alike. They came and went all the time. I didn’t talk to a lot ofthem. I didn’t even know she was doing this.”

“She probably wantedit to be a surprise,” Stiles says, “I know we were supposed to hang out but Ican go if you want to be alone while you go through this.”

Derek’s hand shootsout, gripping Stiles’ arm. Not tight enough to hurt but enough for that Stileswouldn’t easily be able to break free, “Stay. Please.”

Stiles settles backagainst the couch, motioning towards the photo album, “Whenever you’re readybig guy.”

Derek’s hands shake ashe slowly flips open the cover for the album. The first picture is of TaliaHale in a wedding dress, the one below it of her and who Stiles assumes isDerek’s father. He’s proved right when Derek speaks, “This is my Mom and Dad ontheir wedding day,” Derek says before pointing to one of the next page, “andthis must be after Laura was born and then… this is me as a baby.”

Stiles smiles, lookingdown at the picture of baby Derek wrapped snuggly in a blanket, face tuckedinto his mother’s neck, his father smiling down at them while Laura sits frontof them smiling brightly up at her brother.

They sit like that fora while, Derek flipping through the album and explaining what the pictures arefor. There’s pictures from Derek’s first birthday, little Derek smiling up atthe camera with his face covered in cake. Then of Cora when she was born and ofher first birthday, only this time instead of her being covered in cake Derekis once again covered in cake, Cora’s little hand pressed to his face while shelaughs.

“I see she hasn’tchanged much,” Stiles says, amusement clear in his voice.

“Even at one she was apain when my ass,” Derek says, shaking his head in fondness, “Laura thought itwas only fair since I was such a pain in her ass.”

Derek flips the pageand Stiles stares at the picture, “Is that Peter?”

Derek nods, a sadsmile appearing on his face, “It is. And that was his wife Joanna and they’retwins Luke and Leia.”

“You’re joking!”

Derek shakes his head,“Nope. Both of them were huge Star Wars fans.”

“Holy shit. And Ithought I loved Star Wars.”

“Peter could havegiven you a run for your money. At least on the original films.”

“Could have?” Stilesasks, then realizes what Derek is implying. Of course Peter wouldn’t hold thesame fondness for it. It probably just reminded him of what he’d lost, “Ohright. So, what’s next?”

Derek continues flippingthrough the album, sharing stories with a fond smile on his face. Stiles issurprised how well he’s handling it. It can’t be easy seeing all these picturesof the people he lost, a reminder of the life he used to have. Stiles supposesit’s better than not having anything to remind him at all.

They reach the lastpage which holds a picture of a teenage Derek with Talia, the two of them arehugging, bright smiles on their faces. The one below it is a family photo. Fromthe way Derek looks in the picture Stiles figures this must have been takenshortly before the fire.

Derek reverentlystrokes the pictures, wiping at his eyes with his free hand, “This was taken acouple days before the fire. Mom had insisted we all get together and take afamily photo. Laura, Cora, and I had complained the whole time, thinking we hadbetter things to do. We were such selfish little shits.”

He looks down,shoulders shaking with what Stiles realizes are silent sobs. Stiles wraps anarm around his shoulders, running hand soothingly up and down his arm, “Youwere teenagers. You had no way of knowing.”

Stiles knows it’s notmuch of an excuse but he doesn’t know what else to say. Nothing he says willmake the pain or guilt go away. After a while Derek pulls back, wiping at hiseyes before looking at Stiles, “She would have loved you. my Mom.”

“I’m sure I would haveloved her. She seems like she was a great woman.”

Derek smiles, “Shewas. She reminds me a bit like you.”

“I don’t know how tofeel about you saying I’m like your Mom,” Stiles says.

“I’m not saying you’relike my Mom. Just that you remind meof her in ways. She was strong and independent. Not taking shit from anyone.Loyal.”

“She loved you,”Stiles says, barely resisting the urge to lower his eyes.

Derek stares at himfor a moment, his voice barely above a whisper when he speaks, “Stiles.”

Stiles coughs andlooks away, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, “Sorry that was…inappropriate. We can just pretend I said that.”

“What if I don’t wantto?” Derek asks.

Stiles looks back atDerek to find Derek’s gaze already on him, “You get what I was saying right?That I… I love you.”

Derek nods, lacing hisfingers through Stiles’ “I know. I also know my Mom would want me to be happy. Youmake me happy Stiles.”

“You make me happytoo.”

Derek smiles, bringinga hand up to Stiles’ cheek, “Just so we’re clear, I love you too.”

Stiles’ answering grinis blinding, “Glad we’re on the same page.”

They lean forward atthe same time, their lips brushing softly together in a slow, sweet kiss. Derekpulls back with a sigh, resting his forehead against Stiles’ “Thank you forstaying and doing this with me. It would have been a lot harder without youhere.”

“You know I’ll alwaysbe here when you need me,” Stiles says.

“That goes both ways.”

And it’s the truth.They both know that no matter what happens they can rely on each other.

Stiles convinces Derek to keep the photo album out in the open incase he wants to go through it again. That is, after he shows Peter who pullsDerek into a tight hug before thanking him, taking the picture Derek gives him,and leaving.

For Christmas a few years later Stiles has the family photo blownup and framed. Derek hangs it up in the hallway next to the picture of him andStiles on their wedding day.

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #11: “i feel kinda nervous but also just kinda like i don’t give a fuck ya know” - Ally

The F8 vote seemed to have worked out well for me. I believe I shifted the plan from voting Stephen to Jess as Jess has been socially great but I havent been able to develop a great personal relationship with her and our interests in the game seem to differ. I am kinda glad with my position rn tho I am pretty sure the jury hates me rn but my aim is to find a way to maneuver to the end. Stephen and Ally must be really upset with me for lying over and over again and I might be targeted soon.

i am on a train and so i decided i'll write a confessional.

after having time to think last night (misplaying my idol), here are my thoughts: yeah, it sucks. it definitely hurt my game more than it helped. i am now 10x more vulnerable in the game. but, i'm not regretful? i'm now in a less-stressed state, where if i'm going to leave, so be it. no one was really shocked (though some may be more angered at me), and it kinda helps clear a target on my back because i'm like... easy to beat.

now, let me talk about something. after thorough analysis, i believe i have the least likelihood of winning this game. that's fine. i'm not really mad about it. below i'll just provide why i think i can't win this game, and my personal view.

CHANCES OF MAKING IT TO FTC: to begin, my chances of making it to ftc is very limited. i'm in a state where i have no idol, and i must rely on competitions (at some point, not necessarily now). i honestly think i'm safe at F7, but i know in order to get into F2 (or F3), i'll probably need to win a few immunities (or hope people see me as the goat i am and.. dragggg me BAAAAA). other people in the category of 'limited' when it comes to making ftc are stephen/ally/alyssa. now, let's pretend i do win like 3 immunities and achieve that position at FTC. this has two outcomes. first being that i don't think the jury will majorly respect it. and secondly, well, i'll describe it in the points below.

CHANCES TO WIN (IF I REACH FTC): i think i have horrible chances at this rate. ever since jury started, my management of said people hasn't been the greatest. i don't entirely blame myself (though maybe i should), but i don't see stephen w./miguel/luke/jess being keen on voting me. i think the most grossest(word choice?) of those are miguel. he's going to be emotional/bitter, and kind of rightfully so - i did vote him out. but i also got targeted in the first place for trying to save him. i put my blood, sweat, tears into trying to let him live and... well... i couldn't do it. and, in my personal opinion, that should outweigh me voting him. so as of now, i think i have 0/4 locks. i could see current players voting for me depending on how the game goes (i.e ally, alyssa, karthik) but that's so iffy to really count on. now a quick analysis of other players: alyssa - i think she's by far the strongest middle player/has been the swing vote in various instances. though bitterness may be an outcome, she's played a dominating game. ally/stephen - minority. they are going to have stephen w./luke/jess practically on lock, and even miguel to some extent. they are the underdogs that even i would be rooting for if i were on jury. tim/karthik - both are better middle players than i am. they are always the go-tos to make a move. maybe this is a bad thing for them (and by default, good for me) because they are seen as 'goats' or something. i doubt that though. they have more agency, and though i once again don't think that's at MY fault, it ultimately detriments my game. jake - jake has continually been targeted due to being a flexible, snakey threat. though he may not be doing the absolute most strategically/etc., he has that perception of ''winner'' and ''big player'', which alone can carry a lot of brownie points when it comes to voting.

CONCLUSION: So i think my chances to win are the lowest odds because of my inability to guarantee FTC for myself, and even if i do, i ain't going to be a strong contender to win unless the jury comes around to my busted ass game.

- okay, i want to talk about my personal thoughts on this.

i don't think i played the best. but, i don't blame myself for being in this shitty situation. wait. to specify, i don't blame myself for being hated by jury/players. i DO blame myself for being in the shitty position and limited chances of making FTC, which has factors including my prejury comp strength (there was strategy w/ that but i'll talk abt that another time.

my chances have sucked ever since jury started. stephen w. and i were never on a tribe together, and though i was a 'threat', i didn't flip. i did consider it however, but that isn't enough credit for him. it wasn't smart to work with him considering he was targeting me, but that's valid to not vote me in the end. miguel is a loyal and emotional person, 100% valid. i did not meet those terms at the end of the day, and that's only on me i guess. luke showed no loyalty to me and so i reciprocated the fakeness. we never worked together. jess, i DID try to work with, but she rejected that just to kinda blame it on me and so i voted her out. i have no friends on jury, and the earlier jurors are the most critical to some degree (because they can become an unit or something and start rallying campaigns for people).

my lack of agency, which is my biggest in-game flaw, isn't my fault directly. i tried to be extra social and show willingness to flip. of the 5 Kato2.0 members, i think i was easily the most willing to change up the game. karthik/tim have lied numerous times about flipping, and jake has done so prior. i haven't. maybe i should have, and i would be in a position, but i wanted to maintain this veil of honesty that like i was opened 2 working w them, even if NOW wasn't the time. the voted me and then only talked to me abt my vote when they needed me. i have to be missing something. this isn't a bad thing on MY game when others dont want to work with me, but i cant figure out the missing piece. maybe someones lying about what i'm doing and pitting people against me (good on them). maybe i did something really bad. but, it's a struggle. i thought i was playing so well but now i'm in a position of... hopelessness. i don't have any strong friends in the game. tim's probably the closest to me. i'm just... i'm unsure.

-

i want to talk about the future of this game real quick. this round, i anticipate ally/stephen will target one of me/alyssa/jake. tim wants to target alyssa (according to him) so i can see her being targeted. i'm unsure if that's how i'll vote, but i'm thinking. i think, if i am lucky + smart enough, that i'll make f5 easily. if alyssa goes, theres no way ppl would keep ally/stephen both til f5 considering they are minority n have that sway over the jury. put in that position, im the strongest physically. if ally goes F7 (or stephen), then jake/alyssa are a duo i can spearhead to break up. but, if alyssa has two idols, shes final 4 and well . it's over . but maybe she'd idol out like karthik or smthing n then me/tim/stephen vote out alyssa/jake and... yea. there's some hope for me but it's VERY circumstantial.

my brain hurts lol sorry

So last night I was BRUTALLY blindsided. And it's kinda late in the game for that to still be happening! This is way worse than Miguel or Luke leaving. Karth, Tim, Zach and Alyssa all overtly lied to me about their plans and votes. Granted, I also lied to Alyssa so there's that.

Karth, Tim, and Zach all hit me with the "but we're allies now that you proved you're honest" and I'm rolling with it because I don't have much of a choice. Ally wants to try something with Alyssa/Jake but I'm not exactly holding my breath. I won't buy anything until people start coming to me with real plans. At least Zach's idol is gone so others might be more tempted to make a move on him now.

Being voted most honest was something I ABSOLUTELY capitalized off of. I used it to try and get Alyssa on my side by telling her Stephen said she's next if Zach wins (even though she went and mentioned my name) I used it to blatantly lie to Jess and Stephen and Im using it now to do damage control with Stephen

Honestly the reason I voted Jess was very strategic. If Stephen was gone then Jess could weave her way into an alliance with Alyssa and Jake whereas Stephen would not. Stephen is still a big threat to win and with him here it means that he'll possibly take priority over me. Because honestly who wants Stephen at f3??? Who wants Zach at f3??? Who wants Ally at f3?? They MAY want Alyssa at f3 which is why she's my next target Stephen: Its not smart for me to go against you guys either way

Me: I already know this lmaoo you want me in your f3 duh

Im gonna go ahead and be overzealous when i say this may be the first game where I make f3.

I feel like I've played my cards correctly and If it works out how I want.. i could win/ get 2nd. I can literally destroy and discredit Karthik's game in a matter of seconds so I'm not concerned and Jake's game thusfar has been straightforward. If I can survive this round then I can make it to the end of the game. Omg if its a f2 instead of a f3 i will scream. I'm being too hopeful rn lol.

AHHHHH BITCHESSS I WON IMMUNITYYYY. Poverty was on my side. (I'm not poor lmao). I feel great and I definetely needed to win it considering the fact that my name was mentioned last round. Oh I also sent Karthik to the basement in hopes of finding something buy I also sent him there so that I wont make a target out of Alyssa and break any potential bonds there.

Now originally I made an ellaborate plan to vote out Alyssa but I've done quite a bit of talking to Stephen regarding my position as well as everyone's position in the game.  I'm torn between trying to get the vote on Alyssa or going with Ally, Karthik, and Stephen and voting oyt Zach. We will see.

I have a plan for this vote tonight and I think it’ll work. We’re gonna split the votes and if Stephen or ally goes, I think I’ve set myself up for s really good game. Of course anything can happen, but as long as I don’t get blindsided, I feel good about the rest of the game. Of course, that being said, anything can happen and this is Survivor

Thinking about how this could be my last day in the game is crazy. I'm relying on Tim and Karth to hold up their end of the deal to vote Zach out tonight. If it works, everything will change. I'll suddenly be in a real alliance for the first time in awhile. I don't plan on letting go of the numbers once I have them, but I really don't know if I even have them. Karth was my closest ally since Day 1 and he lied to me and sent out my next closest ally. I believe Tim has been leaking information I was posting in the 4-elements chat for awhile now. And I am definitely the target of at least 3/7 people heading into this tribal according to Tim.

Basically, everything should be seen as a negative right about now. But that's not how I see it. Playing from the bottom could be an amazing opportunity for me. I believe with Zach finally leaving, the 2 duos on the other side will finally have to point fingers at each other rather than doing everything behind the scenes. Then I'm just a little bit farther away from the end. Maybe I can still win this thing.

Of course, I could also go home 5-2 if Karth and Tim are just lying. But I think I've convinced them that keeping me is best for their game. Or maybe it's just that Alyssa and Zach come across as too threatening We even discussed possible endgame scenarios where I go to F3 with them. I wouldn't quite go that far with both of them after all the scheming and plotting on their end but hey, one of them can come along for the ride ;). Assuming I don't go home which is still totally possible LADSHSJKDHDKJHKSDJ

it’s rly quiet lol

i feel kinda nervous but also just kinda like i don’t give a fuck ya know

like... i’ve already been lied to and blindsided so many times that it’s hard to care or have high expectations at this point

i’m voting zach, afaik everyone else is down but again that could be a lie or he could have another idol idfk

i’m only loyal to stephen now idc abt any of these ppl

Ally is voted out in a 4-3 vote. She becomes the fifth member of our jury.

[survivorelara]

Episode #7: “Bon Appetite Bitch” - Dani

Merge time baby, this is where the game starts. My first job is to figure out who flipped in that last tribal, I'm betting on Loris, but if it's John I'd probably understand as well. Regardless it's disappointing because as far as "OG Tribe Lines" it's now 5v5v2, which sucks.

I think I've likely got an ok position at the moment, the real move is trying to make sure I've got an in with a lot of people, and to make sure I find myself in the majority.

Here's hoping my first tribal council doesn't turn out to be my last due to social misplays.

We merged woo, my streak of never dying premerge continues :D. However, it does feel like an early merge. There's still 12 people left, I have a strong feeling someone ain't gonna make the jury... 👀

I just noticed im the only Aquarius left woot woot. Game wise, hello, it's merge. I'm finally messaging  people, introducing myself and what not. I'll check in later to list all of the people that don't like me, but for now let's go into this hoping that I'm charismatic

Ok sooooo...... tribal did NOT go as planned but it still was good because I could’ve gone easily but drew t saved my ass because I saved his last week. we love good karma. Roxy literally forgived me without asking her to and we have merged so I don’t feel that at risk anymore. :) I just gotta keep talking to everyone so my name doesn’t get raised.

oh lord. You know idk what I’m gonna do yet Because I don’t want to work with pre friends but i don’t necessarily like my tribe either So that leaves me with loris Idk I’ll figure it out

For now, I'll do a hot or not and comments Roxy- NOT. I have to talk to her almost continuously or else she'll think we aren't allies and vote me out. (not that we are allies rn but still) Ci'ere- DECENT. He's nice but replies are sporadic and idk if he wants to work with me. Loris- HOT AS FUCK. my #1 right now, he's p cool <3 John - STEAMING? He is so nice and so cute but he seems close to purple drew. Purple Drew - LUKE WARM. Love the dude, but I am semi trying to avoid pre game friendships. Little Mix Drew- STRAIGHT FIRE. only bc of LM. in reality, more SEMI WARM. it may turn out that each side has a little mix supporter? Drachus - WHO TF KNOWS. I cannot tell if this man is playing me or not. He tells me he can't vote him out, but is that true? We havent been to tribal and he seems to be lying to me about how much he knows. If he really doesnt know all that... he seems like someone I can maybe work with. We've been loyal to the end for each other before. Just keep in mind- I'm not playing for 8th. Emma- queen? She's inactive but a great number for me. We tell each other stuff and she's just precious. Kori- challenge threat, and someone who I want to be my shield. Dani- shes so inactive bruh like what even Dylan- also inactive.

so its 5 revati, 4 auva, 3 zosma. Zosma and Auva have 2 a piece of people who I loved pregame and would consider working with. So who knows? I have a double majority, so lets not be surprised when I'm first out.

Well, I THINK I'm in an ok-ish spot. I've talked with a LOT of people, IDEALLY the next one gone is Sam just so that I can get Dani more on my side and make it clear that I wanna work with her.

I'm a little salty Altager didn't beat the basic tribe name of Orion... but I'll get over it... eventually...

In other news, I ate a burger today... it was adequate.

MERGE BABIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm elated to make the merge AND get to name the tribe! Like that's fucking sickening! I'm excited to see what the merge holds for me because that was a rocky pre-merge phase. Like obviously I wasted my idol, blah blah. And like I was an emotional mess like the entire way through. It sucks being the one that has to blindside people and like break hearts- but in the end, that's the way it is. I just love that I'm getting to play IN THE MERGE. Like I rarely ever do that because I am too much of a physical threat (in most ORGs) to be allowed into the merge. So I'm super glad that I get to play in the merge and I just have to put myself in a mindset where I can be carefree and not let the stress of the pre-merge weigh me down!

Well, The challenge went pretty well I think, not sure if I won or not though, we'll see.

I'm getting frustrated with Ci'ere though. Everytime we talk they take hours to respond, even when they initiate the conversation, and I respond within 4 minutes. My patience is definitely getting tested.

Well, I didn't win the challenge, I was closeish, got all the right constellations. I just kinda, didn't math correctly in calculating my Tiebreaker number... not sure what I even did to reach that number anymore.

Regardless, I just gotta keep the target off of me, get a feel for what others are thinking, and go from there. Ideally Sam or Ci'ere since Dylan who I'm still not a fan of won.

Ci'ere has been making a bit more effort with me, which has me a bit suspicious, so Sam is ideal just to make it clear to Dani that I DO wanna work with her.

What do people do when they merge? Like this concept is so foreign to me that this laziness is actually nice. Its peaceful and serene. Like my god. If this is the case, why the fuck do I not try to make the merge more often? Honestly, this revelation is so beautiful, I may ugly cry just thinking about it!

ok no offense but the conflict between dani and ci'ere seems literally so beyond fake i can't even comprehend it. maybe im wrong but like it feels so planned, like dan's funeral or smth.

also ci'ere just like formally asked to work with me which was really sweet so hi. they also spilled some tea about roxy/drew/drew2.0 and how theyve been working together without me so. yoinks. glad i won immunity because i wouldve been so lost

Man i'm finna make that bitch dani leave, im working my ass off to save ciere and get her outta here since she's HELLBENT on getting us out. No no, you don't do that. Hope you enjoy merge boot and hopefully just missing out on jury :)

So yeah, the main name floating around has been ci'ere. But the thing is, I've been talking with people and dani seems disposable to a lot of people. So i'm tryna convince the people i'm close with to vote her out instead of ci'ere. Because here's the thing, if dani survives until next vote and ci'ere leaves, she's going to be after me. What i'm saying to my crew is that if ci'ere survives, he'll be with us while dani isn't close with like anyone, she just talks to throw names out cuz she sucks at this game. so like, if people really want ci'ere out, it'd be so much easier to simply blindside him next vote if we wanted, because he'd feel so safe. Esp since im 95% sure one of those 2 have an idol, so i'm gonna try my best to either flush it from ci'ere, or blindside the fuck outta dani sending her home packing with it

suprise bitches after a boring pre merge i am actually playing the game i just need to see which side everyone is on i may use my idol to have my side be on control i could probably be first merge boot before i play yikes! also me and loris are powerful... he has the legacy advantage his mind omg

I hate this cast. Yell at me for a short confessional if ya gotta.

Deadass probably setting myself up for failure this vote with going after dani so hard but fuck it idc, didn't have a chance to get rid of her after louise had left and she told toby to get the fuck outta here, and now I do and she's going and hopefully joins him in the vl :) toby this one's for you homie, miss ya lots <3

W e l l, things have went left here at the Orion camp 😄 I woke up to Andrea & Loris letting me know that Auva 2.0 was after me & that I should play an idol if I had one. Apparently the Auvacados are getting bad vibes from me? However, Dani was the one that made a move against y’all so why am I getting getting ya knickers in a bunch? I previously started laying down the groundwork to have people turn on Miss Dani, but I decided to toss that plan out the window. Last night, Loris told me that John Coffey was the Revati that flipped last round and it’s because he’s friends with Drew H. I’m certain that the Drews, Roxy, & John have an alliance that finalized right before the merge. So that needs to be broken up right away. I went to Dylan, an OG Auva, to let him know that his old tribemates said he was on the outs and they made an alliance with Louise, Dani, & I. He seems to be interested in voting with me, and if he isn’t, then he’s a flop.

Sam called me “babe” earlier & I really cannot with this flirting strategy, but I’m not opposed to it! I guess I would consider him my final 2, but I’d say he’s playing well so I might need to cut him before that hehe.

I don’t like this back and forth running around nonsense, so I’m laying it all out on the table. I exposed the Auvacado 2.0 alliance. I hinted that I have an idol that I really don’t want to use, but I probably will just in case they think I’m bluffing & people don’t target me in the future for it. Apparently this caused people to start scrambling which I’ll have you know is my favorite type of egg. Deviled eggs are good af too 😈

Sam says that we shouldn’t go for Roxy because he has an in with Drew T. & that we should keep Dani the target because she threw out our name. Dani says that John & Kori threw out my name to her. Do I believe her? Not exactly. In the tribe chat when I asked Dani to vote for Roxy, she says that she likes her & would rather do someone else. This is a mess. So right now it’s looking like myself, Sam, Andrea, Loris, Emma, Dylan & Drew T.?

Why is everyone always going after me what the shit. Its drew t and h fault im like their fuckin scategost I jk I love them but im so annoyed why is the fall out if the shit theyfor do, gets blamed on ne when I havent dine anything loll fuck off

I love u drews tho

I knew going into the merge that I wanted Ciere out sooner rather than later; and when an alliance with Dani and kori was formed I thought I’d be able to get him out right away. Dylan won immunity which is awesome because he’s easily my favorite right now. Idk what it is about him but we just vibe really well right now. I’m not sure where I stand with old revati other than kori who asked me to be his final 2 the other day. I’m a wannabe puppet master and nobody was taking my bait to vote ciere. Well it seemed like they were until little rat decides to announce that I had an alliance with the Drew’s and Roxy. I went telling everyone the chat is barely even active and we voted together once. As of now the majority is seeming to want Dani and Kori isn’t answering aoooo idk who I’m voting for I kinda still want to do ciere cause I swore to Dani I wouldn’t vote for her, but I also don’t like her attitude all that much tonight. Same old Dani from unifinished business, but I actually was going to have her back. I’m a mess!!!!!!!!111

WELL BITCH I MIGHT BE GOING. These motherfuckers REALLY want me gone huh? WELL IM NOT GOING OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT. Roxy will rue this day. ROXY WILL RUE IT. She just fucked over her whole damn alliance.

Dani is voted out 9-2-1.

[survivor-switzerland]

EPISODE 14: SENT HOME OVER A LIE - TYLER

So it was crazy that last vote. I have no clue what is going on anymore. I think there's something in the water cause plans go awry in an instant. Omg I'm just happy to still be here. I honestly am surprised that last two votes have worked. I think this one is gonna be crazy as well. I'm hoping to actually get a win but I seem to get one upped by someone!! I think we all need a sit down cause feelings are all over the place and I don't think anyone really knows who they can trust. I feel like I'm in a good spot cause I've been open tho. Time will tell.

EPISODE 14

Tribal council ended and we got rid of Nick. Excuse me, that's actually incorrect. Tribal council occurred and because Nick decided he didn't want to succeed in the game, we gave him his wish of sending him to jury far before he would have been if he had just sat still for a moment.

Blah blah blah--more insincere damage control with Tyler. Everything's okay. We're still a thing. Blah blah blah. Honestly, the only thing that bums me out about pretending I'm still loyal to Tyler isn't the lying to Tyler. He's lying to me too, 100%. We're just kidding one another. The thing that bums me out is leaving Ian in the dark and Ian being collateral damage to that. That part feels terrible.

The immunity challenge was SIMON. I took aside time on my Sunday while sick with a cold to get as far as humanly possible along in the game. For my strategy, I typed the first letter of the color SIMON selected into a word document and then kept it neat by putting them in rows of five. Then, when I had to press the colors, I would do it rhythmically in bursts of five while speaking it out loud to myself to make sure my mind kept my hand and my eyes accountable. My first attempt, I scored 43. Determining that not enough, I gave it a second attempt and scored 88. As that had taken a few hours, I decided that was the best I was going to do and submitted it. Fortunately, the majority of the cast finished below 40 and Ashley Sarah was the only person close enough to my 88 with a score of 78. I won immunity! And honestly, it couldn't have come at a better time. I know Tyler wants me out and this is one more time I won't have to use my hidden immunity idol--thank God.

Initially, I didn't make any attempt to strategize or set a target or anything. Why? Because I sucked at that REALLY bad last time. I thought I could keep a lid on people that I couldn't. I failed. And I wanted to let someone else call out a target this time and see if it would blow up or if it would be fully realized. But then literally NO ONE offered anything! For me, I felt like losing Luke would have been best for my game. But Dom wasn't particularly down for it. He was more worried about Tyler and Ian. Luke wanted Ian to go because he feels Ian hasn't done anything worth being kept around. Ashley Sarah wanted Tyler. Tyler and Ian wanted Dom. No one wanted Luke to go! So in my next best interest, I got back on the let's get Tyler the fuck out of here train and reassumed a leadership role. Originally we were going to be quiet and put all the votes on Tyler, but Dom was worried as the prospective idol target that we ought to split instead. Out of respect, I arranged for that and if that split failed for the THIRD time this game, clearly this cast wasn't meant to split votes and what the hell do I care? I'm not going anywhere. If Dom goes, that's one less person I have mad as fuck at me for betraying them.

Lastly, I just can't trust Tyler. I can't. Everything that I tell him, he runs and tells Luke because he's floundering like crazy. Luke is a good friend of Tyler's, but Luke is also here to play Survivor. Luke is genuinely worried, with good reason, that Tyler won't be friends with him anymore if he betrays him and I hate hearing that because that personal connection belongs nowhere here. Before this game started, my ORG best friend Keegan and I made a promise to one another--we do whatever it takes to win and under no circumstances to we sacrifice our own game for the other. We're friends no matter what. I sincerely hope Tyler takes a page from that friendship book if he's the one who leaves.

Bye snake!!

Scraped by another tribal and I've now made it to F7. I have no loyalties left for the H4rmony alliance. From now on I'm placing all my trust on Tyler, Luke and Jev. This four needs to work tbh because Brett and Ashley have been filthy moles from the beginning and I want them gone.

Brett wins immunity which is a pain I want him and his idol gone ASAP. Right now I'm being fake in the H4rmony chat (eww) because I know if we say Dom they're gonna try and flip the script.

Ideally I'd want Dom gone this vote. I've been after his ass since the Renee vote and then at F6 Brett and Ash cannot win immunity, then me, Tyler, Jev and Luke split the vote. If Brett doesn't play his idol we send him to jury.

In all honesty I don't know if I'm even gonna win even if I make to FTC. I'm feeling like Nicole at the Bora Bora F6 because I'm realizing that even if I make it to FTC my moves will only be credited as Tyler's moves. It sucks because I know that if I try to explain it, they're just gonna think I'm a puppet. Ugh I just want to finish this season with my never voted out status unharmed tbh lol

P.S I MISS MY BORA BORA FAM <3

The fact that last round Nick got sent home over a lie that Luke and I made up. Dear lord 😂. This next Tribal should be interesting now!

So close to winning immunity!!!! Damn Brett!!! Jk ily!!! I think that it's going to be insane vote with everyone uncertain about where they stand. So close to the end makes everyone a tad nervous. Definitely need to play it cool and strategically vote. 

heyyyy so im trying to make a big move. Last night I went on call with Luke and he told me that Tyler and Ian were voting for me for God knows what reason. As of now I think i was able to convince Luke and Jev to not vote with Tyler and Ian. Then I came up with a plan for this round that would help us blindside brett the next vote. For this round, we would build up our trust high enough with Brett by voting out Ian like I had previously told him I would. Then the plan changed to vote tyler blah blah. But since Tyler has the merge idol, we had to be smart about it. I mentioned to Brett that splitting the vote would make the most sense because if Tyler really does have an idol and he plays it, it's 3 votes negated instead of 5. That way it'd be 3* on tyler, 2 on ian and 2 on me. We'd revote and then Ian would go home. If Tyler did use his idol then we'd have to get in possession of it instead of Brett having two idols. The following vote would be the biggest blindside of the season and here's why. If this vote works, we would have built up enough trust with Brett to the point where he might feel comfortable enough to not use his idol at the next tribal. The only way that we have a shot at getting Brett out is if he doesn't win the next immunity challenge. That's why Luke and I are going to go HARD for the next one just so Brett doesn't win. He would assume that the vote was going to be for Ian. We wouldn't tell Ian about the vote because he would just leak to Brett and Ashley then end up tying it. Hopefully the result of that vote would be 3-2-1. 3 on brett, 2 on ian, and 1 on whoever ian votes for. Okay that's all the tea I have right now. If it's me tonight, I love you guys for letting me host. You guys have been great <3

[worldofsurvivorcomoros-blog]

VERONICA’S JURY QUESTIONS

okay, so i wanna start this off by saying that i really do love the both of you a lot and i had so much fun playing with the both of you <3 secondly, i didn’t 100% show just how genuinely upset i was when i was voted out because i wanted to be nice and non dramatic and what not BUT since we did tribal so early in the day i had time to wipe my tears, get over the sadness i felt, and then let my sadness fester into petty bitter extraness. so with that being said i know i promised regan my vote already but that’s off the table so i can i have some sort of leverage to get y’all to answer/do my three part questions/demands. which i know y’all weren’t wondering but in spirit of being petty i specifically chose 3 parts because i got 3rd place. hehe.

PART ONE – ROP! because i was in the final 3 with y’all, i didn’t get a ROP from either of you and so i want one now, and yes flattery will get you everywhere but i want a genuine 100% honest thoughts about me and memories in the game and whatnot shit which should be simple enough and like it doesn’t HAVE to be at least 300 words….but it’d be nice :////

PART TWO – POEM! i want a poem written about me and i want it to rhyme preferably not half assed and in good length but this one is very iffy just because if its super short but really good then it will be okay and i just wanna smile and or nod my head in agreement so do with that what you will

PART THREE – QUESTIONS! just so i’m not a completE troll in my jury statement/question thing i will ask some genuine questions about your game play and etc.

–– REGAN

1. you said time and time again that you wanted to see me in the f2 with you and you always talked about loyalty between us. if you would have won the final immunity, would you have taken me?

2. you’re possibly the most emotional player i’ve ever encountered……..ever. why should i give you my vote when you let your feelings cloud your judgement and actions in game?

3. what would you say are the strengths and weaknesses in andrew’s gameplay?

–– ANDREW

1. ok so forgive me bc u already know i don’t know much about survivor, but explain to me in detail about your specific strategic side of your gameplay because from how i see it the only truly 100% strategic thing (and not just social) you did was use the sapphire idol, and even that didn’t go as you planned, so to me as of right now i only see your entire gameplay as – talk to everyone and then rely on winning comps or youre out

2. as you said in your speech, you had it easy pre-merge because you were always on the winning tribe, but i still don’t see why i should vote for someone who only really had to play and do heavy gameplay towards the middle to end versus regan who didn’t have the cushion of immunity pre-merge and had to work her way to the end. can you explain to me why i should still vote for you although you didn’t work as hard as regan?

3. why didn’t you tell me you were voting me out in pms like i had asked you the night before :///

IN CONCLUSION –– i really do love you both as people and a large part of why comoros is my favorite survivor game i’ve played is due to you both and i don’t make any promises to not make half joking/half genuine bitter comments about this game (esp to u andrew) but i wish you both the best of luck and i will be voting based on responses to my question/statements and to others and from what i know about each of your gameplays and hopefully YALL don’t hate me after this extra ass mess that i had to do bc like if i’m not gonna win or get the runner up spot then i’m gonna have fun and being the bitter bitch that i am

ROP: You were my closest ally in this game and you know that. I felt like karen and andrew were on the top of our alliance and we were on the bottom so I'm glad you and I flipped it was the right move. And thank you so much for listening to me in the karen vote. Means a lot because without you I could not have done it. It would've went to rocks. it changed our games for the better.

Poem: I hope I won't lose your vote because of what I wrote. The fact that you're mad makes me really sad. Remember before you went you promised me your vote is that really what you meant?? I cannot write well, I'm sorry writing a good poem to you would take a spell. I really think you will keep your word I hope, or else I don't know how to cope.

Questions 

1) yes I would have taken you. If that meant I would have lost 9-0 (or something idk I'm bad at counting) then that really sucks. But when I tell people I'm sticking with them I will. I was very loyal to you and daisy and I only voted daisy out because I had to choose. I hoped to win immunity so it would be us 2 like we always planned. I felt that we were on a more equal playing field and plus I wanted to see you at the end with me

2) I'm sorry that I was Emotional I guess my feelings do affect my game a lot. but nothing anyone said to me or did to me personally affected who I was voting out. Karen was always extremely kind to me and I have zero reason to hate her. same with daisy. but I had to vote them both out. I did what was best for my game. so why I would say emotional things, I wouldn't act on it. or  else my game would've gone differently and Luke would've gone earlier because I was upset by things said by him. Veronica I may have been mad at you due to another game but I didn't let that affect my final 2 with you despite saying it might. you were always someone I wanted to be loyal to.

3) Strengths: -Very good physically. tried so hard in every challenge like he even brought his laptop to class in order to win final 4 immunity. that's commitment -Commitment. as I mentioned before he never gave up even though after Karen's vote he may have felt dead in the water. he tried to convince us to keep him and also never gave up on immunity and had an immunity streak going until the end. -Loyalty: he was extremely loyal. I don't think that until the final 4 he was planning on voting out you me or karen. he wanted it to be us 4 in the final 4 and it hurt him that Karen left. like emotionally not his game play really.

RoP - Whew I really hate what I ended up doing to you in this game. And I don’t think any amount of apologizing will be able to make it better. But I am glad that you still want to continue this friendship because I very much do as well. When we both first saw we were not only in this game together but on the SAME TRIBE, it was hilarious. We were both freaking out and made sure we were gonna have each other’s back. You were not only an awesome ally, but an awesome friend to have as well. Like I told Daisy in her RoP, it’s become more difficult lately for me to kind new people I could really befriend in games because it’s the same people playing a lot of the time. And while we were friends already, this game helped out a lot. We were always so excited in PMs together, and honestly one of my favorite memories of this game is gonna be the call we did for the checkers challenge where we just kept cracking jokes about the mess that was happening. I loved playing with you and getting closer to you this game, and I really look forward to continuing the friendship. Thank you for being the ally and friend that you were, even though I ended up doing what I did at the very end. Ily mom <3

Poem -

Veronica, my mom You are the bomb diggity. Yes With a goodnight streak You make everyone weak Memes for days Queen of the gays Lady Gaga who?_Veronica_

Roses are red Veronica is our queen Her messages will light up any laptop screen She won Mystic Falls And we march down the halls Chanting so strong queen? Veronica

Mother of Sinnoh Queen of Comoros How we love her so Veronica

1 The talking to a lot of people aspect of my game was to open the doors for me to implement the strategies I wanted. You won’t know how people are voting and you can’t get people to vote the way you want them to without talking to them. And that’s what I had to do. A big part of this game was making sure people voted the way I wanted them to, because this was a game of split votes. At least at the merge. There was so much that could’ve gone wrong with the Sapphire Idol play (which ended up benefitting me anyway) and all of the other votes up to Drew’s elimination due to his idol. So split votes had to be implemented. And with a split vote comes a lot of talking and pushing different agendas onto people as to convince them to vote a certain way. Get this person to vote person number 1 for one reason and get another person to vote person 2 for this reason. If you want an example of a plan other than the Sapphire Idol, we could move to Drew’s vote out. This required getting Luke on our side, making sure that Daisy would be on board for the vote, and getting the alliances together to split the votes the way we wanted them to. It also required the convincing of Drew that Luke was the one going home so that he would not only protect Luke but make himself vulnerable to be voted out. There’s so much that goes into these plans that I spent a lot of time working out the necessary voting distributions that I wanted to go down. And I’d say I had a good success rate overall. Through working with alliances and talking to various people separately, a lot of my strategy ended up working.

2 I understand the dilemma of not wanting to vote someone who as safe all of pre-merge. However, that’s something that was very much out of my control. It’s very circumstantial how the tribal immunity wins play out, and you fight to win those as to see another couple days in the game. So, I’m hoping that isn’t something that devalues or discredits my game. And like I said in my opening statement, I used that time to make the necessary social bonds I needed to in order to get me to the end. I know that Regan had to go to some tribals, but what I had heard from during the swap is that Regan was never really in any danger. From what I had gathered, Karen, Drew, and Regan were going to be too tight-knit to be broken pre-merge, and they stayed together throughout all of the pre-merge. So I’m hoping this doesn’t discredit my game, especially because people like Daisy and Chris, who played good and respectable games up to their eliminations, could have potentially faced the same criticism as well had either or both of them made it to the end.

3 I honestly, truly had no figured out what I was doing that night. I dunno how much you believe that, but it’s the truth. You and Regan as well as the hosts all knew that night I was very overwhelmed with irl situations, and I really kinda just won the immunity, stayed online for a little bit, and logged out to clear my mind from not only this game but what was giving me anxiety irl as well. This isn’t something to make you pity me or feel bad for me, it’s just the truth that I was already very overwhelmed that night, and when things like that happen I always tell myself and other people to get offline for a bit if it means you’ll be calmer. So, when I woke up late the next morning and made my decision, I went to you guys in the chat, waited for you both to be present, and revealed it to you both. And that’s all the 100% truth.

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #1: "I'm ready to punch a bitch." - Timmy

I swear to god... If y'all cast any of my enemies I'm gonna DIE. I need a chance to STRIVE AND NOT DIE.

Omg getting in the game feels soo amazing, like I have said I have not played in sooo long so i feel this will be the ultimate test for my capabilities, the good thig is that not many people know each other so that’s good. My idea for the first day is just to talk to everyone see where they are if they know anyone etc etc. This is just veery exciting!

Feeling good about my tribe, most people have actually talked which is a big plus. Getting good vibes from Shea, and Miguel, and Federico a bit. If Alyssa is the Alyssa I know she’ll be fun to work with too. Still though, early days on the Kato beach. First challenge is kind of annoying though as some of the items are ??? But I’ve done some videos and I’ll try and do more.

WOOO the game has started!! I'm excited for the most part except.... THERES TOO MANY TUMBLR FACES HERE. I wanted an entirely new slate and a whole new cast for me but I guess that's a rip! I know Alyssa, StephenW, Zach, Timmy, Jess, and TJ!

I think that the idol system is definitely cute!! And I want to get an idol so yeah!

I think I'm hitting it off pretty well with Zach (He's probably good with peeps tbh), and Liam (Even though I confused his intro with Daniel's)

The challenge is a scavenger hunt aka my least favorite challenge so thanks, I hate it!!

I can already tell that this is going to be an interesting season just based on the people that I already know coming into the game. I'm happy that on my tribe I already know Tim, Jess, and Zach so that should be good for me for at least the first few rounds. I don't really want to stick with the people I already know though because that's boring. I'm happy Alyssa is on the other tribe and not my tribe right now because I have no intention on working with her because people love doing whatever she says in orgs and I'm not here for it. If we get onto a tribe together or both make it to merge, she is my target and I won't be quiet about it. Might as well focus on my own tribe for now though. Besides the 3 mentioned before, I have only spoken to Karthik who seems alright so that's good. Only issue is that he's like 10.5 hours ahead timewise so that's going to be interesting. I still need to talk to the others but all in good time.

hie girlies this is my first confessional of the SEASON! as always, i'll just give a typical analysis of each person on my tribe, how i vibe with them, etc. i'll also throw in some random pieces of info i guess woo. this is finna be long btw.

jess - she's a likeable queen but she has a big tendency to leave me on read. i think this is either her thinking i'm boring but i'm not sure. ik in TS guyana she was criticized at FTC for being lacklustre in responding so i'm hoping it's just that opposed to something on my behalf. she's really cool tho!! karthik - karthik is short in response sometimes but never leaves our convo on read, which i respect. he seems to know that i won embb9 + am 'really liked' in the community.. he rlly is delusional huh? jk ASKGDS he's great tho. i know my friends like him and he can be a great player so i'm anticipating working with him hopefully. stephen - stephen is a king too. he's someone that probably would know some of my game ig but... who knows. he's relevant in EM. our conversations have been fun and i'm really hoping to get close to him because he seems chill. timmy - i know timmy from tumblr. currently he's not that great socially but i do like him and we have a long ass snapchat streak. there are a few tumblrs in this game but afaik i don't have any bad blood with him so i'm def planning on roping him in. the most recent thing is he backdoored my mom's duo in his last org AKSGLDSG so... stan list. daniel - daniel knows me from a past org that i put no effort into, which i think is fine because i really only made it far since my duo/partner dragged me. i'mma play up a perception with him, but he is really cool as of now. i am SOOO worried that i did something bad or mean in that game and he's going 2 haunt me LOL. tim - tim is the person i've connected with most. he's really chill, actively messages me back, and is just fun and flirty. we've already talked about him and his potential boy, our favourite cereals and overall eating. i know him from tumblr too, but vaguely, but i was apart of the 'evil friendgroup' whereas he was on the other, 'nice friendgroup', but i'm hoping that has minimal impact if any. liam - liam is fine. i know him from FB but we've never interacted. he knows i played egypt so... if that's his perception of me.. i'm FLYING. he's really nice though + is a fellow canadian, so i'm hoping to get close to him. woo!! ally - saving the best for last. ally is really nice and i do like her a lot. she is sweet and like... we're great pals ?? ASGKDSG jk idk. we played a game together where i immunity ran final 6 onwards and voted her out twice (f4/3) and it left a bitterish taste in her mouth (but rightfully so for how i handled it). we are friends but i'm scared that she aint finna let me far. idk. i want her out soon bc she could do damage but i'd also be 10000% down to work with her again this game. WOOO idk. love u ally.

so that's the cast assessment. as for other stuff... well... the games fun. i hope some peoples lack of activity is just my paranoia rather than them hating me, because i don't want to come off as aggressive or anything, and in fact, i want to tone it down slightly this game AKSGDSGL. some dynamics/(matt please forgive me)meta this game include: alyssa / jess - a loyal duo in TS guyana. tim / stephen /// timmy - all tumblr girlies. not sure how close they are. i think stephen/tim were part of the 'nice friendgroup' on tumblr iirc. ally / fede - obvious friends, they literally FLIRT in the public VL (jokingly i imagine). they're both nice tho so maybe i make it a trio?? daniel / tj - rlly good friends i think. they're both zwooper kiddos and i think i played with both in that one zwooper game i played, not sure tho. will do research. miguel / liam / shea - idk how close they are but they are all FB-ish people so... i imagine they may have some thing. ally / karthik - i think

there's prob more but that's it for now. i'm not going to focus my game on that meta ^ whatsoever. i just need 2 keep in mind who's with who and who has some friends from before. idk. just a good mental note type thing. every game is a new slate tho so i'm not holding any preconceived notions abt them.

i really love everyone on my tribe thus far. can't wait till i become a bitch tho... i hope dat dont happen AKGLDSG

So, I'm really happy to be here. This is my 3rd or 4th time applying so I feel ready and excited to play! I was super happy to see Alyssa on my tribe as we get along super duper well. I like my tribe overall.

This first challenge has me a bit nervous. I started my new job today and they didn't give me a very long break for the hours I worked and my ankle and knee are really acting up (I broke my ankle in like 2014 and my knee in 2016 and they still hurt a lot sometimes). I'm worried because I'm not sure if I'm going to be physically able to like dance around and do crazy stuff like that. It sucks that the first challenge is something I can't physically.

I'm just hoping even if I don't do the best in the challenge that I can kind of make some strong social ties so I'm not the first one out if we lose. I feel really good about Alyssa, Luke, and Jake right now. My strategy is always just to be in everyones good graces. If nobody wants me out, I won't leave, that's the goal.

I was finally able to get part of my submissions from my challenge submitted and I plan on doing more tomorrow. I have been speaking with most of my tribe mates and I'm liking them a lot. I did get a bit of a late start so I'm worried some alliances might have formed but, it's all part of the game. I have good relations with Shea and Jake and I hope to further relations with Miguel and Federico so I have some solid foundations to work with and so I can hopefully have some numbers in case we go to tribal. I'm also proud of myself for going on camera multiple times for the video portion of the challenge as it was something I would have never considered doing in past orgs I have played.

I'm not the best with confessionals, but I'll try my best! I'm quite enjoying these people so far, and I've really connected well with Zach, Jess, Ally, Karthik and Tim. That being said, I don't wanna really worry about allies just yet, winning is the first priority.

So me and the tribe are getting along pretty well! The challenge is going ok so far but I still want to try and win! It seems as if we lose its Karthik.. but who knows!! Its time for fun pals and gals.

Talking with Luke about not wanting to go to tribal first but I’m low key channeling Aubrey and would love to solidify an alliance as early as possible, which tribals help with.

I'm sad that we lost although I expected to lose and I'm actually quite glad that Karthik got sent to the basement. This means they are safe without me having to campaign for them. The person with the 2nd lowest score, Timmy, should be on the chopping block to my knowledge. I'm lowkey ok with this bc he doesnt contribute much to convos…

Ahh this game has been amazing for me so far! We won the immunity challenge so I won’t have to vote anyone out! I have made genuine connections with many people in the tribe and I got kind of separate deals with, Stephen, Federico, Shea and Luke so I think they have my back. I have also talked a lot with TJ and Jake but no deal or alliance have been made with them. But as a group I don’t have like a group of allies yet just 1 on 1 alliances. In case we lose I would try to vote out either Isaac or Alyssa.

First day is over, and I can't be more relieved. I love the fact that I cannot be the first voted out, and even more, I love that I feel as if I've made some good connections so far. I really think Alyssa and I will be able to work well together. Yes, we have some stuff to work out from before, but I want it to work out such that we can work together throughout this game. I really like Federico and LH, and I'm hoping things stay this way for the time being. I'd like to keep winning, but when that time comes that we lose, I need to be ready.

Okay. Buckle up bitches. It's story time

Just kidding..

So far I'm trying to connect with every single person individually.

Being put on a tribe with the guy who I literally got out in another game less than a month ago is a mood.... I'm working EXTRA HARD on making sure Tim likes me and trusts me. I'm going to use the fact that I'm a loyal a$$ bitch here and hope he thinks I would ride to him to the end (Honestly I probably would. I LOVE TIM).

Other than Tim the other people I'm vibing with so far are my two Canadian QUEENS: Zach and Aly. Aly seems like she can pop-off at any second but so far she seems like someone I can work with going forward. Zach on the other hand needs to STOP BRINGING UP GUYANA. For some reason he's praising me which NORMALLY I'D LOVE because I don't think the words: Jess, Praise, and Guyana have ever been said....but he's putting a target on my back.

Other than my Canucks... I really like Stephen but he's intro SCARES ME. He seems like he's going to cause some chaos down the line...

Everyone else has spoken maybe about 30 words total to me? so yikes.

TOODLES XOXOXO

Well we just lost the challenge ;( I’m hinestlg not feeling too safe at the moment. I was one of the lower scoring players on the tribe, and the lowest was sent to the basement. Right now I feel like a sitting duck. But on the bright side, I think I made a decent connection with Zach and Timmy. So I’m just gonna talk around find out a vote. If it’s not me yay! If it is, then I’ll just have to somehow fight my way through it :p

Woooo first confessional!! I'm liking the start of this game, and I've decided to take it a bit lighter than past games. I'm here to have fun. This doesn't mean I'm not ready to strategize, but maybe the lighter tone will help me not fall under the same mistakes I always make.

I'm getting closer to Miguel and Shea, which is bad if you consider they were the lowest scores in the challenge... They better start getting more involved in this!!!

The fireplace is on. The tea is warm. I'm getting cozy, and I'm not gonna move any time soon…

So I've gotten a chance to talk with most of the people on my tribe. Right now, my closest ally is probably Karth. We have an established history of working well together, and right now, were searching for the idol together. I'm also pretty close with Ally and Zach, and trying to get closer with Jess, though I can't tell if she thinks I'm too gamebotty or not. Ally, Zach, and Jess also seem to have some kind of relationship with each other. Idk if it's an alliance but it's something. In light of this, I'm going to be trying to get closer with Tim, Dan and Liam. I think Tim and Liam know Jess though so that might be a hurdle I need to deal with. Someone I've left out of this discussion is Timmy. I've talked with every voter so far except Dan, and they all seem okay with letting him go. There's always paranoia that they're all just playing me, but I really doubt it is gonna be the case here. My biggest worry now is what position I'll end up in if we keep losing challenges.

HELLO. Okay so we won the Selfie Scavenger Hunt which is GOOD. Someone I don’t know got sent to isolation for the other tribe but that’s fine. TJ and I were kind of on the same page of sending Jess to keep her safe which is good that we are!! She’ll be fine though because she did the best in the selfie scavenger hunt, unsurprisingly. Haven’t really talked game with anyone besides TJ because there’s hasn’t yet been a need to, but I’ve been having personal conversations with most of my tribe! Isaac just messaged me today which I think is the last one. But yeah! Things are going okay! Woo!

So me and Jess are officially aligned! I shared my idol grid with her and we talked about our tribemates. I really haven't connected with everyone but I have at least talked to them. It appears as if the vote will be Timmy unless someone magically pulls out the idol and plays it on him or the vote somehow flips on to someone else. The scary part is that Timmy is being quiet asf.... and I have no idea what is up his sleeve. The basement twist is gonna be really scary next round if we lose and someone can be sent back to the basement twice in a row…

omg hii.. i love my tribe so far tbh!!! i feel close to zach, karth, stephen, jess, and liam. i feel like i’m in an okay spot. i feel a lil weird about playing with a couple of these ppl again - zach and i played in ts and he killed me in 3rd and won the game, and i played with stephen in embb4 and as, i got him out in embb4 and he got me out in all stars lol.... i’m hoping no past game beef comes into play but we’ll see! i’m voting timmy out this tribal, he hasn’t said a word to me so... Shrug Emoji. hopefully everything goes according 2 plan ! i’m glad karth was “exiled” cuz i think he would’ve been a target and i don’t want that. i’ll do a more in depth and full cast analysis l8r~

Oh Timmy.. I want to keep you safe but I also want to take out any possible people Alyssa can work with in the future... you made the mistake of telling me you brought her into the ORG world jkjk. Sorry <3

ON THE REAL THOUGH.... I can't stick my neck out for someone on DAY 3. If the tribe wants Timmy's neck I gotta help deliver it. I just wish he was more SOCIAL because he would def be someone I would like to work with <3

I came into this game, saw Shea, and had an absolute fucking breakdown djdhdjdj. Like who am I? I need to get it together and push in the challenges because I didn’t help with the first one at all because seeing Shea just did something to me? Like? I’m going to try to put more effort in moving forward but right now I feel like Aubry in Kaoh Rong when she had that attack, hopefully I can recover as well as she did.

Why is Daniel trying so hard to save Timmy akdjsjs. Just... let him go in peace plz... also I'm Timmy starting to talk to people for the 1st time since the day of the vote..

I'm ready to punch a bitch. I have no idea what is happening with this tribal and I just hope it's not me. I keep hearing about the "majority" and people want to vote with the "majority" but nobody is saying who it is and what it is just that they don't want to be the one to say a name. So I'm being forced to say Liam because that's easier than Stephen even though Stephen was the one saying my name, but honestly it is what it is, I haven't spoken to Liam so I don't care that much. I just don't get why people play if they're just going to hide behind someone else because that's so stupid, like just play for you. I'm not just saying that because they're going against me, but like where has Liam been and also Stephen is the most vocal right now and he is going to be a problem later on, I can already tell.

Timmy is voted out 6-2.

[survivor-switzerland]

EPISODE 10: FEELINGS DON’T MEAN ANYTHING IN SURVIVOR - LUKE

So Ben was voted out as planned. It sucked doing that to him, but I needed to keep Ashley safe and ain't no way am I gonna be labeled a meninist again! On Monte Rosa Max was voted out which brings me happiness because Tyler is safe.

AND THEN WE MERGE!! Finally! But wait these hosts then throws us a curve ball that Ben or Max will be coming back. So while we waited for the results of the buyback, the H4rmony alliance was finally reunited!! I touched bases with Zack and say generic merge stuff like "omg we made it ahhh". In the end Ben returned which I'm quite happy for him but I'm worried that since we just voted him out he might be weary of us and possibly flip. Max would have been better because from what I hear they hated the 4 matterhorn people, but what's done is done.

I also talked with my Mystic Falls peeps Abel and Luke and I managed to gather some info from Abel about what went down on Matterhorn. Apparently Daisy was after his behind from the beginning of the game. That sort of connects to the story Nick told about Abel pinning Daisy on the idol back on Monte Rosa 2.0

So like Brett and Nick are insisting on an alliance of OG Monte Rosa which is not a bad idea but the problem is Ben. I mean we voted him out and he's gonna feel a bit isolated and likely to be scooped up by the Matterhorn 4 which cannot happen!!

Anyway Tyler brings us tea that Zack has the Matterhorn idol. This is excellent because Tyler is like our little mole in that foursome and we need that idol flushed or better yet Zack out of this game because apparently he's the head of that alliance and once he's gone, that leaves a lot options for me to work with my Mystic falls peeps :). BUT I'll still be loyal to my H4rmony alliance!!

UGH, I know it's been like three rounds but I'm still depressed on Renee leaving. :(

That was the worst tribal ever. I am so sad that ben had to go. I love everyone left so I hate one of us has to leave

Ben why did you have to go??? I feel so bad!!!! I just wanted to place higher than last time!!! Maybe 6th?????

What??? Ben can return???? Please win Ben!!!!!!! I am so sorry!!!!!

Now it's finally merge!!!! Yay!!!! I'm really nervous about how this will go but I'm hoping that I can at least get through a couple tribals. With so much talent here it's gonna be rough but I'm trying to get as close as I can to high placing!!!!

I MADE THE MERGE!!! My first goal for the season was to make the merge and I did that so that's so amazing. My next goal is to make jury (unless it's already started and we just don't know it yet) and then after that it's to make finals and win this game whew.

Coming into the merge tribe there is a very clear disadvantage for the original Matterhorn members. We are outnumbered quite significantly but who knows how some of the original Monte Rosa people are feeling toward one another. Again, I had another call with Tyler and we talked about what our plan of attack is and we're going to downplay my role in the vote offs that have happened. We're going to lie and say that Zack is the head of the snake with Jev and Abel as his followers with me being on the outs of the 4 so that they'll keep me around long enough. Working my relationships with Brett and Ashley seems to be going well and I know Nick and Dom outside of this so maybe they'll wanna save me too. I know Nick will probably want to get revenge for Logan but damn, he can choke and leave before I do!!! Since Zack and Brett both have idols it's going to be hard taking them out but I have my lovely advantage in my pocket so who knows when that will make an appearance. All I know is that Tyler and I are going to the end of this game together and we'll do whatever it takes!!!!!

Yesssss we finally made merge!! I'm so so happy but also, kinda bummed because JUST as I beat my placement of 11th, that binch Benjamin comes strutting back in and bumps us back up to 11 people, meaning I'm once again in danger of being 1st Jury Member & 11th place.

I have no idea what's going to go on for this first vote, I really hope it doesn't revert back to being OG Matterhorn vs OG Monte-Rosa because the numbers are NOT on my side in that case, and Me, Luke and Zack could be in serious danger. Welp.

asdfghjk so I went for the three searches for the idol hoping it would pay off but it didn't. So now all these fuckers now I went searching for the idol, but at least it wasn't only me. Benjamin and then later Zack also went searching so hopefully that doesn't make people too suspicious of me.

Brett comes in and tell us he has a necklace that negates idols! (AHEM! That's vervain Drew) And now we have the advantage that can guarantee Zack is gone, I mean if Brett's up for it.

For this immunity challenge I set my goal to be 500, I messed up at 456 because I'm messed up on the packing because I ended up typing 77 instead of 76. UGH, damn it. :(

I just wish Zack doesn't win immunity because I want him GONE.

I rocked that challenge but I never seem to win anything. It would be nice to finally win immunity since I have absolutely no luck finding idols. Even when I had a clue I didn't get it cause it involved losing the challenge so I've been sucking. My only hope is that everyone else went fast and messed up. Slow may not get me high numbers but at least I managed to use whole time and not mess up.

Ben doesn't want to flip on the tribe that voted him out lmao dumbass I'm gonna make him. Maybe not this round...but soon.

...

[6/3/17, 9:09:29 PM] Brett Hawkins: Y'all can vote me out now

[6/3/17, 9:09:36 PM] Brett Hawkins: Because I know I played better this time around

[6/3/17, 9:09:46 PM] Abel: i don’t think anyone wants to do that rehfjsdna

[6/3/17, 9:09:54 PM] Brett Hawkins: You're sweet

[6/3/17, 9:10:40 PM] Abel: i’m honest*

me lying

So I need to get this outta my system before my internet goes wack.

So Brett wins immunity and I came in second. Good for Brett but I wanted to win.

Now Ashley comes to me that Abel is throwing my name around and it pisses me off. Word has it that Abel is one messy mess of messes and I'm getting rattled and Josh is now telling me I'm going home. asdfghjk I cannot be voted in double digits!!

Now the plan is to organize us OG monte rosa and vote out Zack with his idol, but the risk is that Ben might flip and spill the beans. Now I'm nervous as hell that this might be my last confessional. I pray that ain't the case for me.

So today's the day, the first merge vote...

I came into the merge knowing that I was going to have both sides thinking I'm a number for each of them. But the fact is I've had way too many connections and commitments to my original tribe members to even think about joining Zack, Jev, and Abel. And the fact that their entire original tribe was almost wiped out doesn't help their cause bc they nearly have no numbers to work with even if I join them.

I'm glad that Zack and I were able to talk in this game and settle any animosity we might of had outside of this game. For the record, yes I was complelty willing to work with Zack in this game. But I feel like the pieces for us to work long term in this game just didn't add up. And like I said I appreciate the conversation we did have bc I felt like they were important to us outside of this game.

But none the less this is a game and I'm gonna do whatever I have to do to win. And I decided that Zack is gonna have to go home tonight. I've reconnected with my original alliance of Ashley, Ian, and Brett, and I've filled them in on the dynamic of the Matterhorn people. Luckily as of now, Nick and Dom seem to be on board too. And Luke and I are a pair, there's no way we aren't voting together.

So basically I spent all of yesterday trying to point the votes in the direction of Zack who thinks he has the votes of Luke and myself along with Abel and Jev. But tonight, Matterhorn is in for a rude awakening, especially Zack. The merge is about to get gaggy!

Super nervous about voting tonite trying to pump myself up!!! No clue what will happen but def a distance from some people

OKAY LISTEN TO THIS MESS!

So, Brett/Ian/Tyler/Ashley have been exposed as being a four piece alliance and according to Luke their plan is to take out Zack, Abel and then me in that order. SO... we've had to scramble to figure out a plan that saves Luke while protecting us at the same time.

So as of now, we know that Zack and Brett have the idols, BUT if Zack plays his this round it will be a waste because Brett has an advantage that can negate an idol play so there'll be no point. SO we've managed to rope in Benjamin and Abel into our plan, and we're gonna use Luke's advantage to steal someone's vote from the other side (Tyler's) so then the 5 of us, coupled with Luke's stolen vote makes 6 votes and that gives us the majority this week.

I spoke briefly (like very briefly) to Tyler who said "We're voting Ian right?" So if anybody asks I'll just say I voted for Ian because Tyler told me to!

PLUS what's good for me in this round is my ass will be covered as I won't be playing any kind of idol or advantage to benefit anybody at all, so hopefully I'll be able to play up to the other side to be like "oh my god what just happened!" and then I can use Tyler as my little scapegoat!!!

I'm submitting this here now because I'm going to make a lovely video confessional for y'all tomorrow but something that's going to sum up this entire vote? Feelings don't mean anything in Survivor!

I am literally lying my ASS off to Brett, Nick and Tyler right now. They are 100% convinced that I'm working with Zack and Abel so I need to try and show them otherwise and so I'm going to them all "I'm so alone! I have nobody! Give me ideas and guidance" and they're aaaall telling me Abel so they aren't budging. But am I gonna give up my game to keep Zack, Luke and Abel safe forever? No. When the time comes I'll do whatever I have to.

EPISODE 10

We successfully voted out Benjamin 5-1. He took it well. And Maximilian was tossed to the curb unanimously by Monte Rosa 3.0. They then had to compete to return to the game on the new merged tribe of 11 and I was so conflicted about what I wanted. On one hand, Maximilian is a massive downer, but I truly feel that Max would have been better for my game because none of us had wronged Max before while we all just voted out Ben. Finally, when it counted, Ben was useful in a challenge and he won his way back into the game.

Merging is literally the worst. It's the first day of school all over again and right when you're feeling comfortable managing the personalities of small groups of people, maybe 5-6, and then suddenly your population doubles and you have to be nice and pretend to care about 10-11 other people and it's so exhausting being social with all of them. It really is. I have a squad established already; I'm not looking to expand it.

I met Luke and Abel for the first time since before the game began. Luke is sweet. Abel is a charmer--very charismatic, very warm and friendly. Zack and Jevvon are there as well: cool cool. And I got Tyler back!

A few other updates. I had to tell Nick about the idol because he's done the math and figured me out and holding it back makes me look shady. As a result, I also told Dom. So now Dom, Nick, and Tyler know I have an idol. That's a lot of people in the know, but what can I do? If you've been discovered, you've been discovered. And if you can't handle the pressure or repercussions, maybe you shouldn't have an idol or an advantage?

Benjamin has told us no hard feelings about the vote and that he wants to still work with us. We'll see if there's truth to that or not. Meh. He'd be foolish to willingly want to be bottom rung to a strong group of 4. The 7 of us are more likely fracture and shift allegiances so his best bet is to stick it out with us for a bit, but we'll see if he's that smart.

The challenge was a 1-hour test of focus, speed, and accuracy. In the end, I destroyed everyone. The second place finisher got less than half of my score. I'm not really known for being a challenge beast at all and so it feels amazing to win an individual immunity so handily. I feel so happy and lucky.

Furthermore, there's a new grid and I used one search and found another game advantage! The Garlic Necklace when played will negate and eliminate all played idols at a given tribal council. This is so huge for me. With immunity around my neck, an idol in my pocket, and this advantage, I am so ready to neutralize Zack's idol and extend the lead for the people I am playing this game with.

Tyler, Ashley, and Ian are all happy with voting for Zack. Nick and Dom are fine with it, too. Ben seems okay, but he's more enigmatic. Then the paranoia party begins. People are wary of Ben. Nick is extremely wary of Tyler. Tyler is wary of Nick. I'm wary of Nick because he keeps telling Ashley things like "I think Brett has an idol" and "Brett wants to target Zack." He's so messy and loose-lipped and I don't appreciate it.

Oh and here's more. Nick comes to me with a terrible idea to make a fake advantage to try to scare Tyler into staying loyal and he wants ME to present him with the falsified information. I could barely articulate a declination to this, I was so baffled that was his idea. Absolutely not. Under no circumstances.

Tyler did a solid by talking to Ben and discussing playing the middle with him at the right time--I think that was a tremendous move on Tyler's part and I hope he managed to convince him.

Jevvon is paranoid. Luke is paranoid. The disease is seriously annoying and spreading everywhere. No one feels comfortable. There's so much riding on this vote for the course of the game and everyone wants to be okay. Thank goodness I've won immunity. If I hadn't, I'd probably be in that same maelstrom.

Lastly, and this one is fun. Nick found a disadvantage in the plains and is ineligible to vote. Jesus Christ. Fine. Not his fault. But here's what is literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard. This guy tells BENJAMIN that he cannot vote. What in the actual FUCK?! Nick is killing me very very rapidly with his rampant paranoia and his inability to keep any secret whatsoever. All of a sudden, Ben flipping became a lot easier with Nick being ineligible to vote. I have no idea where Nick gets these really bad ideas.

I can't wait for this round to be over. So that I can learn where I stand and where people's loyalties are. I know I can count on Dom, Ashley, Ian, and Tyler. Hopefully that will carry me through. Hopefully we can progress. Take out Abel next round. Then perhaps get rid of Benjamin again. Take care of Luke. Then blindside Nick. Save Jevvon for last. Maybe Ian's in there too. All I know is that I'm ready for some of these people to begin leaving. Let's make it happen.