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tinsley-goldsworth · 5 years

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band-aids don’t fix bullet holes (chapter 1)

read chapter 1 on ao3!

summary: from the start, ricky and c.c. were the best of friends but ricky didn’t know c.c. wanted to be more than that and in the end, everything came full circle

Wc: 1633

Tw: Graphic Descriptions of a murder

a/n: this is set in the buzzfeed unsolved universe and i kind of tweaked the canon (even though it hasn’t fully been established) to fit the plot!

From a young age, Ricky Goldsworth and C.C. Tinsley were the best of friends. They grew up together in a small neighborhood and spent the majority of their childhood running around and wreaking havoc, in an innocent, child-like way of course. Ricky was the one who always came up with the ideas and C.C. always tagged along, glad to help out a friend. The adults in the neighborhood found their friendship endearing and never really got mad at the two friends for the troubles they got themselves into.

As they grew up, Ricky and C.C. discovered their interest in mystery books and furthermore, murders. They loved reading Nancy Drew and Sherlock Holmes books and while C.C. was more invested in the detective work and the forensics behind certain cases, Ricky was more interested in the creativity of the murders. When they graduated elementary school and moved onto middle school, the duo began reading about murder mysteries that occurred in real life and enjoyed watching detective shows.

In 7th grade, Francesca also joined their small friend group because she also loved murder mysteries and detective books and introduced Ricky and C.C. to the world of secret agents and spies. She explained that she wanted to be a spy one day and got Ricky and C.C. hooked on a great spy television show. During Halloween, the trio decided to dress up in loosely related costumes so Francesca dressed up as an FBI agent, Ricky dressed up as Jack the Ripper, and C.C. dressed up as Sherlock. Their costumes captured the true oddball nature of the friends.

Many people would assume that C.C. and Ricky would grow apart and branch off to find new friends in high school but they were still the best of friends in high school. Their love for murder mysteries didn’t die either and C.C. and Ricky took a forensic science class together during sophomore year. One day, when they were doing DNA analysis in class, Ricky had turned to C.C. and mused, “Isn’t ironic that as you’re learning how to solve crimes, you’re also learning how to commit a crime and get away with it? Like with all the stuff we learned this year in forensic science, I could, hypothetically, murder somebody right now and not be caught.”

“If our forensic science teacher heard that, I think she would have a heart attack,” C.C. responded and the two laughed before returning to their work, never addressing that remark again.

It wasn’t until junior year when C.C. realized that he was crushing on his best friend. He never consciously thought about how attractive Ricky and thought that wanting to hold your best friend’s hand was normal which, to his surprise, apparently was not. C.C. found himself constantly admiring Ricky, no matter where he was or what time it was. He thought that Ricky looked beautiful when he was stressed about the chemistry test when he was laughing, and even when he was simply watching television.

Because the town C.C. was in wasn’t very progressive and kind of homophobic, it was difficult for C.C. to accept his feelings. He found it difficult to accept that he liked boys in addition to liking girls and it took him about half a year to finally come out to himself. After moving on from that obstacle, C.C. had to accept that he was crushing on his best friend and that his best friend probably was unaware of this development of feelings. Even if Ricky did know, he probably didn’t feel the same about C.C., which is why C.C. never ever wanted to admit his feelings aloud.

Francesca used her abnormally accurate observational skills to quickly determine that C.C. had a crush on Ricky and C.C. knew that Fran knew, but didn’t want to admit it, partly out of shame. On a sunny afternoon, Ricky, C.C., and Francesca were studying for finals together and Ricky had to bike back to school because he left his notebook in his locker, which left C.C. alone with Francesca. The moment Ricky closed the front door, Francesca took her opportunity and excitedly asked, “So, when are you going to ask him out? You clearly are into Ricky! You need to confess your love!”

“Fran, have you been watching spy dramas that are centered around romance lately? Sorry to break it to you but love in real life is very different from fictional love,” C.C. awkwardly replied, frowning a bit as he returned to studying. Francesca pried the notebook away from his hands and continued on as if she hadn’t heard his words.

“I’m pretty sure Ricky is into you too! I can’t really read him but I think he likes you back. You should totally ask him out!” Fran was speaking a mile a minute, a habit that became evident whenever she was overly enthusiastic. She looked like a little excited puppy, clearly ecstatic about the idea of C.C. and Ricky dating.

“I’ll do it when I’m ready,” C.C. lied, hoping that would make Fran drop the subject and she did, dialing her excitement levels back down to the minimum. Fran didn’t mention C.C.’s crush on the oblivious Ricky Goldsworth but would always raise her eyebrows anytime C.C. began staring at Ricky with lovestruck eyes.

Much to Francesca’s dismay, C.C. wasn’t ready to admit his crush on Ricky even after they finished senior year. He knew that he might not ever get the chance to admit his love for Ricky after graduation but decided to bite his tongue and hold his peace forever, hoping that he would be able to move on and find a girl in college that would help him get over this dumb crush of his.

Regardless of C.C.’s remorse, graduating from high school was a sentimental experience. The three friends were going to different colleges and parting ways so they tried to make the best use of their last few days together. Fran was going to New York to study sociology, C.C. was going to Boston to study forensic science, and Ricky was going to California to study criminal psychology and the three had consulted with each other before choosing majors. They spent the last few days together up all night, going through photos and taking a stroll down memory lane. When they officially had to part ways and move into their college dormitories, Francesca, C.C., and Ricky held a party for themselves, promised to stay in touch, and went off to college.

Unfortunately, C.C. lost contact with Ricky halfway through freshman year but occasionally texted Francesca. C.C. tried contacting Ricky several times but his texts never sent and Francesca couldn’t get a hold of him either. Even Ricky’s parents didn’t know what was going on with Ricky and claimed to not have seen him for weeks. C.C. knew this was a red flag and something was wrong but was too busy with school work to take time to investigate.

It wasn’t until C.C. got a job as a private investigator when he looked into the case of Ricky Goldsworth. He searched all public records and every lead he found led to a dead end. C.C. finally gave up on the case, deciding that Ricky probably moved to a new country to start a new life.

Then, he was assigned to a new, intriguing case at 11 pm on a Monday night. The investigation agency refused to disclose the particular details of the case, insisting that he showed up to the crime scene before looking at the gathered information so C.C. drove to the crime scene. When he arrived at the crime scene, he was greeted with one of the most gruesome sights he would ever see in his entire life.

The victim’s body was sprawled on the body, limbs splayed out and bent in crooked positions. His mouth was agape and his eyes were open and devoid of any emotions. There a giant hole in his chest where the murderer tore out his heart strategically, reminding C.C. of the Jack the Ripper murder. Dried blood had formed a dark pool around the victim’s body and there was no murder weapon around. The murder was so bizarre and unique that it was almost poetic and outlandishly creative.

The victim’s name was Harold, according to the secondary, who was also assigned to this case, at the scene. He was enjoying his Monday night by watching some television when the murderer came in at around 9:30 pm and killed him. Harold was a relatively boring man and didn’t seem to have any reason to be the target of such a horrific murder but here he was, flesh rotting by the minute. The secondary also claimed to have been interviewing witnesses and neighbors to gather a list of suspects. C.C. was thankful that the secondary already did all the heavy duty work and left C.C. the most exciting part of the case.

“Who are the suspects?” C.C. wasted no time getting straight to the point. This case was the first case that had intrigued him in a while and he was itching to catch the suspect and get a confession. Solving this case would certainly look good for his reputation at the investigation agency.

“We don’t have many suspects,” The secondary frowned, glancing at his notes and circled a note. “But we do have one suspect that we should look into.”

“What’s their name?” C.C. glanced over at Harold’s corpse, wondering who could ever have the audacity to perform such a grisly murder.

“Ricky Goldsworth.”

chapter 2 is out!

#fics #ricky goldsworth #bfu #buzzfeed unsolved #c.c. tinsley #tinsworth #francesca norris #buzzfeed unsolved cinematic universe #high school #bfucu #pining #murder #high school au #fanfiction #buzzfeed #mentions of sherlock

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thatyorkshireguy-blog · 6 years

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It’s About To Get Chile

My apologies for the graphic photo that i’ve chosen to lead with here, but it just about sums up the emotions of the last 12 months and what i’ve put my body and mind through just to achieve what was required! To keep on going!

For my first blog post I’m going to have to hang my ‘Yorkshire plums’ out a little and bear my soul to you. So apologies, but it’s going to one of some length (giggedy) for me to be able to give you a full idea of my story and who this blog is aimed at.

My name is Liam Grady and i’m a 35 year old marketing and communications specialist.

I am a born and bred Yorkshire man.... Doncaster in South Yorkshire to be precise.

Here’s the big one........ in less that 3 weeks time, I will be moving my entire life to Chile, South America.

Why? But of course people....I move for love... for a beautiful chilean woman called, Fran Díaz Abeleida.

(Here’s the night we first met in London)

I met Fran in September 2017 when I was working down in London for just three days. Turns out Fran was on the last two days of her trip around Europe and making her way back home to Chile. What were the chances we would be stopping just one street away from each other in England’s capital during that time? Crazy to think about!

Well after two incredible evenings with this lady, I headed 170 miles via car back up north (The land of Yorkshire Puddings and more friendly folk) and Fran headed 7500 miles via a plane back to South America, not knowing if we were ever going to see each other again.

The face that you actually see in the one above with Fran was taken at a time when my life may have been at my weakest, from a mental health point of view. During this stage of my life I wasn’t happy with who I was as a person and I’d hidden that fact through the bottle and party lifestyle for many years. I always loved the people in my life and loved the ‘job’ that I did as a communicator......I was just missing something in my life. I didn’t respect myself - I will elude to what contributed to this downfall further down the story.

As dramatic as this sounds, just a few days after meeting Fran, I could have killed myself or someone else as not for the first time id stupidly drink drove my vehicle. The ‘straw that broke the camels back’ as they say, was when I nearly crashed my car into my house mates car, and my own house. I felt so lost and I didn’t know what the problem was to be able to fix it.

After some very harsh but ‘said with love’ words from a few friends, I decided to take an even more dramatic step and actually fight to survive....and this very much ended up being in the literal sense. I’d been training in martial arts over the years, on and off, very much off... more than on!

However i found emotional and physical comfort whilst I was training at a place called Charles Martin Martial Arts for a charity fight in 2016. It helped me very much, and it was a team mate that turned to me and said I should fight properly this time.

I thought this person was crazy, as anyone will tell you who is in the fight game, that preparing....even for an amateur fight in K1, Muay Thai, Boxing or MMA is one of the hardest things you will do in your life. You have to change everything.

In November 2017 my life changed.....

For two months I started to train three times a week and i’d told my coaches of my issues and where I wanted to be and how much I wanted to change. I knew this was going to be difficult but I had no choice. I needed this.

At the same time I’d been talking to Fran over text and voice calls for a few weeks but i’d started to feel like it could be a bad focus of my attention or that there maybe no point in this communication, because how could we ever see each other.

I remember ‘THE PHONE CALL’ with Fran. I told her that I was concerned nothing would happen, or how could it even happen for a while given the circumstances. It was Fran’s turn to motivate and inspire me, as she was absolutely gutted that I didn’t think ‘the relationship’ would go anywhere and she proceeded to at first be very upset... but then the next 15 mins turned into one of the most beautiful talks i’d ever had.

I couldn’t believe this beautiful South American was willing to take a risk on me and at least try to make something work between us.

At this moment I stopped being a ‘wimp’ (not the best word but one I described myself as at that point) and I really started to fight.

Fran then took a huge step and booked a flight to see me in February for a two week break. I couldn’t believe it. But I still didn’t feel like I was anywhere near good enough or right for this woman. I also needed to dedicate my energy to this person as she lived so far away and to stop me from being tempted with other life distractions that made me hate myself in the first place.

So the training went from 3 days to training between 5-8 times a week. I was dedicated and so focussed and proceeded to change much in my life. My energy levels towards work improved and my whole outlook and positivity started to raise to places id never even been. I was actually starting to like to the person I was turning into.

February 2018 was approaching fast and both myself and Fran were very anxious, scared and excited about seeing each other. Although we had spoken pretty much every single day since we met each other, we hadn’t seen each other for over 6 months and we had only met each other twice in person! Yet again, this seems a little crazy doesn’t it.

That day came when Fran took another 7000 mile trip. I will never ever forget she arrived on that train and looked at me. Our eyes both welled up and I knew at that moment I was already dreading the point of her leaving. We had the most incredible two weeks together.

Doncaster isn’t the most beautiful of locations in the U.K (according to most) but during Fran’s trip we had some of the worst snowfall in recent times and it added something so magical to the two weeks.

Awesome hey?

Fran left during the first week in March and although devastated I just knew I wanted to be with her so badly but I also.... I knew realistically I might not be able to see her for some months to allow me to save up enough money to make the trip happen.

April 2018 had arrived and so had my first fight. Everything I had worked hard for was here...my moment ... everything was set up beautifully. My opponent was over 15 years younger and was coming fresh from a victory. What happened next I wasn’t expecting....

During that 1st round of my first fight I was absolutely rubbish and my opponent battered my for the first 2 minutes. I wondered what the hell I’d done. But one thing in life I had discovered is that I always had a big heart and it would take a lot for me to actually give up. I might not have had the skills my opponent possessed but my mind and heart had become that of a warrior.

Although physically shattered just after the first round, I came out the second like a totally different guy. I ended up winning that second round landing a good sweep and a good right hand which had my opponent rocked back. It was however too little too late and over the fight my opponent won a well deserved decision. That first fight taught me so much.

After the fight was over I felt an emptiness inside and over the course of the next few weeks I could feel myself slipping back into my weak points because I didn’t have training or my beautiful Chilean with me. It wasn’t long before I quickly realised that I needed to be with Fran ASAP!...but in her country and not in mine. I needed a change of everything. I just had no money to get there.

My job that I was in at the time only paid me enough to cover my bills, just get by each month and it didn’t give me the mental or physical freedom to use my skill set to its full potential.

In order to get me to Fran I know I needed to do two things, change something with my work life and go back to training straight away with the view to fight again.

During June and July I did everything I could to improve my life. Work hard during the day in my normal office role (Communications Director), train hard for two hours every day straight after work and then any spare time I had would be dedicated to helping others with their social media/marketing - FOR FREE!!!! I wanted to pay my time forward with the hope that deep down something would come back to me.

This is exactly what happen...

At the start of July, i’d produced a document on social media for one of the business members at a co-working studio called ‘Helm’. From that one document caused a ripple of actions.

I’d received a call from the founder of Helm, a good friend and contact, Liam Swift. He asked whether i’d like to do a presentation on social media at the next ‘Doncaster Digital’ event, which takes place at the Helm studio every month.

I agreed and put together a presentation that was true to myself and something that could help many businesses understand more about their social media channels. This event turned out to be one of the best attended Doncaster Digital events with over 40 different businesses attending my talk.

(Here’s me giving the talk on that night at the studio and one quite happy straight after - I am the one jumping higher than the rest as you can see!)

So I was told it went very well indeed.

Actually....my phone would not stop with texts and calls of support that night. At around 11.00pm, Liam Swift dropped me a text message to say that there was a couple of people in the room who were watching very closely and that I may get a text in the morning from a business regarding help they required.

The following morning I received a text message from the founder of football coaching brand, Mini Kicks. He wanted to meet me to discuss a potential opportunity about working with them and them helping me on my mission to get to Chile. This had me very intrigued.

I received that text message at 9.30am and by 12.00pm I was having lunch with the Mini Kicks founder.

By 12.45pm I had received a job offer that again was a turning point in my life and by 2.30pm ....i’d handed in my notice and effectively quit my other job that day.

The offer at that time was just too good to refuse. It was only a short term solution but it allowed me to achieve what I needed to straight away and give me the freedom to build up a personal brand before I left for Chile.

It is the first time, hand on heart that I have ever......ever shed tears of pure joy and emotion. I phoned up Fran, burst out crying and just said....”I can come to Chile”. I just couldn’t believe this opportunity had happened!

If truth be told I wanted to just fly there and then but I couldn’t leave the country until I had done a few things. The first was fight again and that came last month in October, and the second was to be a best man at one of my closest friends weddings. This happened last weekend.

My life was finally coming together but I was still having to manage money and effectively start my own business and go solo again.

Fran even came to see me again in September for a few days which although she became very unwell during her time here - literally as she landed, it was a chance to show her what a person I could be in times of illness. It was just great to be with her!

How much can one person try and achieve in just a short space of time?

Ok, so now it was fight time once again! I’d trained so hard for this next fight, physically and mentally took me to places I hadn’t been, but due to a bad injury suffered in August I wasn’t able to do any sparring. Which was bad news for me because in October I fought an absolute beast of a guy. I also had to come down to 70kg which I was 77kg when I started this journey the November before.

Again fight day came, and with my closest friends and family there to watch, it once again seemed that everything was set up to go out with a bang and leave as a hero.

We were ready...and I had unfinished business.

From the first bell I wanted to show that i’d improved...and I had. I was calmer, better on my fight...just better all round. However i’d been matched up once again with a very powerful and skilled guy. He caught me with an uppercut that badly broke my nose and for 10 seconds he knocked the sh*t out of me....and he went for the KO. On shakey legs, I managed to quickly back off and then out of nowhere I landed a right of my own which then rocked my opponent. The commentators were going mad. Another moment i’ll not forget.

In fairness my opponent took the first round just on the better shots landed but we both exchanged some great punches and kicks which made it a great fight.

Then came a defining moment which I believe my friend and one of my corner men, James Hartley, put better on Facebook - which i’ll share with you now (Again another read, but it’s hard for yourself to put into emotions).

James’s (gent in the lovely shirt haha) word’s really capture what I went through on this journey of self discovery, on a journey of doing what I had to do to be a better person not just for Fran, but mostly for myself. I’ve had a crazy 12-18 months!

If I didn’t love myself, how could I ever allow myself to fully love someone else or allow them to fully love me.

To just bring it back to why I was in the mental state I was at the start of this story.....

Over 8 years ago, I ended up losing my best friend in a car crash and my dad through cancer, within 6 months of each other and all I did was pack all that pain up and pretend like it didn’t matter. Hiding tough times through drink and a party lifestyle, which was absolutely bullshit and I allowed that to start destroying myself from the inside out. Up until I met Fran and my love for martial arts, I just never knew how to love properly....and thanks to both of those things, I now can. I am so excited about life and in less than three weeks I will be flying to Santiago, Chile, to be with my lady.

My mission is to make her happy, save lots of street dogs and help other people, whether that be in business or just in life.

I wanted to share this story because it gives you an idea of if you truly want something, if you’re truly willing to improve yourself and get to where you need to be in life, it becomes fight or flight and you have to fight for what you want.....you have to! And I did and will continue to do so. Don’t hide grief and pain, and do lean on people for support, they give you the strength when you least expect it.

Although this is quite a personal post, I want the people and brands that I will be working with moving forward to know the type of person that they are working with and I truly hope it helps people discover that they can achieve anything they want.

Oh, I ticked of the best man duties as well....that was last weekend and it was one of the best days of my life, and a memory that will stay with me forever.

So cheers to you U.K. Leaving my country, my life and especially my friends will be the hardest thing i have ever had to do, maybe even harder than my fight journey. But it is easiest the most exciting thing I’ve ever done.

Thank you so much to my friends and family who have supported me along the way. A huge thank you to the people at Helm and at Mini Kicks.

One of the biggest thank you’s has to go to my coaches and team mates at Charles Martin Martial Arts, I don’t think they truly realise what an impact they have had on my life and how much it truly as changed.

Of course the biggest one goes to my girlfriend, my partner and the reason I am moving country...... Fran. You inspire me to be better for both you and for myself. I can’t wait to see you in three weeks time.

And Chile....I am coming for you!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know it was long (giggedy) but I am grateful for your time.

Forever humble...

Liam Grady

That Yorkshire Guy.

Please share this with anyone who might find this helpful and please follow me on Facebook and Instagram - just follow ‘THAT YORKSHIRE GUY’ - I will be sharing my entire journey via Instagram and I am hoping to collaborate with some amazing brands on this journey. Please get in touch on my IG page or [email protected]. I will get onto this more on my next post.

#socialmedia #marketing #inspiration #depression #thatyorkshireguy #mentalhealth #branding #communication #helpingothers #Muaythai #fighting #love #story

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agentelmo · 7 years

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The X-Files MSR Analysis Series: Season 1 Episode 11

“Eve”

Previous episode analysis - 1x10 Fallen Angel.

Eve is a nice episode in terms of MSR because it is littered with cute little moments between Mulder and Scully. Mostly characterised by their silently eyeballing each other. Sometimes when the other isn’t even looking.

Sorry, lets be real here - sometimes when Scully isn’t even looking.

There’s a great scene in Mulder’s motel room which shows they’re still feeling each other out on a personal level - despite Scully’s dismissal of Mulder as a potential love interest in Jersey Devil, she clearly hasn’t 100% given up on it because she’s definitely putting the feelers out in that scene - testing the waters of Mulder’s personal life.

On a non-MSR front, we also get our first whiff of a mention of the super soldiers that become so prominent in season 9. Which is interesting, right? Right?

So the episode begins with Mulder and Scully in Basement HQ talking about the latest spooky goings on. Professor Mulder must have got in late this morning, as he’s still putting together his slide show for this mornings class.

Mulder’s characteristic gallows humour makes an appearance, and what I really like is that he looks up to see her reaction to his joke - is he gonna get a flash of her dazzling smile?

No.

He gets nothing - nada, zip. Scully isn’t rewarding that mediocre attempt.

You know why this stood out to me now? After seeing season 11′s This, it reminded me of the skanky bar scene where Mulder makes a joke about Scully looking “adorbs”. Mulder stares at her for a long ass moment afterwards, waiting for a response.

From the very beginning, he always got a kick out of getting a rise out of her - cracking her cool exterior. I just like that the same gesture is seen here, right at the very beginning of their relationship. He makes a joke to enjoy her response - and I think, a little bit, just to see her smile, because holy shit, Scully has a million watt smile.

Who wouldn’t want to be the cause of that?

How quaint. Remember a time before you knew anything about cattle mutilation, Scully?

What I love about this is what I love about all Mulder’s slide show scenes, which is that he enjoys the song and dance of presenting his ideas to Scully. He likes playing teacher. Look at his face when she gives him her “say what now?” look.

Close enough, Mulder? He’s looming over her, being an utter space invader - as usual. It’s their classic physical flirtation, but where the real foreplay lies between them is in the meeting of two sharply intelligent minds.

He already knew that she wasn’t familiar with the fine art of cattle sucking, and that this would be how their conversation would go. He had it all planned out.

This is why he was queuing up the slide show before he even asked the question - he was just waiting to explain it to her. He sports the smile of smug success, because it’s all gone to plan. He’s hit his mark and now he’s ready to go - Professor Mulder is in the house, people!

He does this for her validation, which in turn allows him to present otherwise fantastic ideas in a way that fits the conventions of a regular FBI investigation - she brings order to his chaos and I think he actually desires that - at this point he’s come to see the value in it.

In Basement HQ with Dana Scully in attendance, Professor Mulder’s theories and ideas are not dismissed as nonsense, they’re treated as potentially valid. This is a place of safety and mental freedom for him. His relaxed demeanour, as he regales the grim details of the case, suggest this is the portrait of a man freed from the limitations of self-doubt and judgement.

This is in sharp contrast to how Mulder has been know to behave around his peers. He has a tendency to be very reticent with his fellow FBI colleagues. He’s been burned one too many times by talking about his ideas, and so tends to keeps his cards close to his chest.

It just goes to show how her validation is like catnip for him - there is no holding back in these show and tells. He fully expects Scully to hear him out and throw out her usual challenges, to which is he more than happy to rise because he knows they come from a place of scientific rigour not condescension and mockery - he revels in the acknowledgement and the challenge.

As the series progresses he refines his beliefs - he too needs proof. But at this stage he really does believe in almost anything, and is happy to go along with any bat shit theory. Seeing is believing for Mulder in season 1.

Not so with Scully, of course. He’s so overtly open and unabashed with his beliefs that sometimes - when you actually listen to exactly what it is he’s saying - you do have to wonder if he is, in fact, crazy.

See what I mean? He’s pretty bald-faced about it. Unflinchingly eccentric. It’s actually kind of touching to watch him spout this nonsensical stuff about aliens coming thousands of light years to exsanguinate some poor moo cows. Seriously, the guy sounds like he’s been smoking the good stuff.

Most normal people would tell him he’s a fucking mental case and report him to FBI human resources - this guy needs a psych evaluation - stat!

But Scully? Nope, she’s there to do a job - put his bat shit craziness to the test, so she swallows her disbelief and instinctive need to object... literally...

...and off we go!

So Mulder and Scully go off to investigate the man who had been blood suckered and have a chat with his daughter - the only witness to his death.

And oh God this series can be tough to watch at times with hindsight... more Scully being totes adorbs and sweetly softly spoken with kids.

Any time Mulder and Scully are in scenes with kids I can’t deal. It hurts man.

Even if the kid in question is creepy AF.

Seriously what is it with the kids being freaky mofos in this show?

Creepiness aside, I love that this little bunny-clutching satan spawn totally plays Mulder.

She tells him what he wants to hear; the implication is that this girl has some kind of mind reading capability to pull “men from the clouds” and the word “exsanguinate” from out her arse.

Uh yeah...

Mulder, this is important... and not the time to be staring at your partner’s lips again. Geez, man. FOCUS.

Scully gets a call that there’s been another murder, so off they jet to San Fran baby! Check it out - that’s a sunny establishing shot!

Although when they get to the murder victim’s residence the weather is grey and overcast as fuck.

You tried, Vancouver. You tried.

What I admire about this scene here with Mulder and Scully is the fact that she doesn’t let Mulder intimidate her.

When Scully was assigned to Mulder, she was green, untested. He’s literally her first ever partner since she’s never been a field agent before, and he has quite the reputation as an incredibly savvy profiler and successful investigator. Not to mention the fact he’s a man, and she’s a woman.

Yet she doesn’t let that stop her questioning his every step.

That’s pretty fucking impressive, isn’t it?

Scully’s self-confidence is crazy admirable. She truly is a phenomenal role model for young girls. I know she was for me.

What’s even more brilliant about her challenge here, is that she is more right than he is. Mulder is, in fact, super wrong. As we discover much later, these two deaths actually are the work of two killers working in tandem like Scully says and Mulder, the career profiler, dismissed this out of hand. 1 - 0 to Scully. Keep score in this episode, because Scully does well to prove she’s more than a match for Mulder.

So they head off to speak with the daughter of the second murder victim, and Mulder exhibits his terrible parking skills. How far away from the kerb do you wanna be, Mulder?

Look at Scully with her little season 1 briefcase... D’awwwwwwww.

Mulder is clearly in a good mood this morning, he’s quite playful with Scully all throughout this scene.

Case in point, when they’re discussing the fact that Teena Simmons has been abducted....

Let’s pause for effect. Look at him looking at her.

Oh Mulder... are you GAZING by any chance?

Scully says the roadblocks turned up nothing... again Mulder, in his chipper mood quips back...

He’s doing it again. Looking for her to react. Both times. He really does like to enjoy her reaction, and I think she knows it because she refuses to give him one. Perhaps it’s to loosen her up; relax. My theory is that he just enjoys breaking down her professional exterior and so he make it his low key eternal mission to make her crack. Like the proper little wind-up merchant that he is.

Also, whoa... Mulder are you blatantly checking Scully out? She conveniently looks away... and down go those eyes. You bad, bad man.

“I do not GAZE at Scully.” Again, pause that.

Sure you don’t.

Then the door opens and we see that the second murder victim’s daughter - Cindy Reardon - looks exactly like the first murder victim’s daughter - Teena Simmons.

Spooky.

Mulder... focus.

I like the little silent conversation that goes on here.

Scully: Mulder, are you seeing this? Mulder: Yeah, what do you think is going on here? Scully: No fucking clue.

Scully starts to question the mother about Cindy, and when Mulder chimes in to cut to the chase, he unintentionally upsets the mother. Scully realises instantly he’s in trouble as Mulder stumbles over his words and Scully touches his hand, silently communicating – I’ve got this.

He instantly takes a step back and lets Scully handle it. I fucking love these two.

It’s such a simple gesture, utterly meaningless in the grand scheme of things, but for some reason little things like this make me think these two were made for each other. I know, that’s a melodramatic thing to say, but this little exchange just thrilled me. The simple act is trivial but also beautiful at the same time.

Am I weird? I’m probably just weird.

Muldo and Scullbag head back out to their car and whoa... that is some heady bright red velour interior in their car - yikes.

Holy crapsicle even the steering wheel is red! The 90′s man... Yeesh.

The banter… ah the banter. This is what makes these two so deliciously fun. It’s not the Joss Whedon style of hyper-lighting-fast, sarcastic barbs or witty, self-deprecating one liners that permeate pretty much every TV show going these days. It’s two clearly distinct personalities interacting and sparking off of each other in distinct, individual ways.

Mulder’s sense of humour bubbles along the surface of many of the duo’s scenes together, and it’s Scully’s reaction to his humour, rather than sharp-shooting back, that makes their to and fro banter feel genuine and real. Her reactions tends towards the incredulous or playfully disapproving, but every now and then, he will be rewarded for his efforts with a dazzling smile of genuine amusement.

That feels more real to me because we’re not all witty zing-miesters ready and waiting with the best come back of our lives. Although Mulder does land a few good ones, that’s defined as part of his personality, not just the collective state of all human beings that exist in the world like we seem to get in a lot of TV these days.

That’s not to say that Scully isn’t funny too. She also gets her occasional zingers, but the infrequency of them makes them all the sweeter.

So Scully goes to check at the IVF treatment centre to find out how these two girls look so alike, and asks the Doc a question that is kinda scary in hindsight.

Especially given season 11′s recent revelations regarding how Scully became pregnant. Yeah... this scene made my insides wiggly.

Scully discovers that a doctor called Sally Kendrick was experimenting with eugenics - tampering with the ova before fertilisation. Again, all very troubling to hear in hindsight for us as viewers in the midst of season 11. We as fans felt this question had been laid to rest about how William came to be, but season 11 has busted it wide open again. Scully may have had this same tampering done to her ova before being implanted - if she even was implanted, we have no idea anymore! Fuck CSM, man...

But lets wash the ickiness away with a stunning profile shot. Naw... Looks how beautifully 90′s Scully is...

Now the next scene takes place back in Mulder’s motel room... hey now guys, you do know this goes against bureau’s policy on male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment, right?

Want to see another creepy connection to William? Mulder and Scully are watching Sally Kendrick’s video monologue, which signs off on this oddly prophetic note...

Uhmmm....

Yeeeeeeeeeeah.

I realise that babies are described as miracles all the time, so it’s unlikely to be an intentional connection, but I got chills. Did you get chills?

Scully doesn’t miss a chance to point out that Mulder’s cattle guzzling alien theory is looking less and less likely by the minute...

WHERE HAVE I SEEN DAT FACE?

Scully is the one rewarded with the smile this time, oh man keep ‘em coming Scully... Mulder in his glasses with his sleeves rolled up and his tie undone is my kink, my aesthetic, my everything, the sweetest song that I could sing...

OH BABY.

It’s like watching the air go out of a balloon. Scully kicking dejected puppy!Mulder....

But wait! Ring ring... answer the phone, Scully.

New phone, who dis?

MULDER! IT’S THE DEEP THROAT SIGNAL!

Yeah Mulder, how far does a girl have to go to untangle her tingle?

SEVEN YEARS, THAT’S HOW FAR.

You’ve not yet qualified Scully, so get the fuck outta here. No girls with tangled tingles allowed that haven’t gone through the 7 year Mulder vetting process.

He’s not kidding, he doesn’t have a clue what a girl is because thus far no one has made it through the 7 year Mulder vetting process.

Who is up to the task, I wonder...

ANYWAY!

Mulder, are you seriously asking “what’s a girl?” when you have one of the most beautiful specimens right in front of you? Go die in a fire now please. Thank you.

Poor disappointed Scully, too. She wasn’t ready to leave and who can blame her with him flouncing around in those fucking glasses? STOP IT.

Ughhhh... this whole fucking scene is just lady porn.

Also, isn’t it sweet that Scully’s automatic assumption is that he has a girl coming over? She must think his little bit on the side was the one who hung up on the phone.

Notice how Scully executes a classic fishing expedition, here. She is curious about his personal life and because of his frankly highly suspicious behaviour - seriously Mulder, guy has zero chill, you could have done this a bit more convincingly - has handed her a prime opportunity to jokingly ask an otherwise overtly personal question.

Don’t think I can’t see what you’re up to, Ms. Scully.

So Mulder goes to meet his girlfriend, Deep Throat and they take a romantic stroll along the jetty, casually bumping shoulders, talk about catching a Warriors game together. So sweet.

I like that Deep Throat is concerned that Scully has followed Mulder. Look at this muppet. He’s a powerful man at the centre of an international consortium of men embroiled in all manner of nefarious government conspiracies and he’s hiding in a bush, afraid of a 5ft nothing red head in a pantsuit.

To be fair to him, Scully is a bad ass, I’d be afraid of her too. Don’t be messing with her boo, or she’ll be having words.

I had a discussion recently about how Deep Throat seems to take on a fatherly role for Mulder in season 1. A friendly, compassionate guide who supports Mulder at great risk to himself, his ideal father figure.

These little moments where Deep Throat (Or Ronald Pakula as we know now him, cheers season 11) seems to have more than a professional interest in Mulder. It’s not simply that he is using Mulder, he appears to genuinely care about him too - this is merely one of several occasions where he suggests they might have enjoyed spending time together outside of their clandestine meetings.

I’d say we will never know if this care is genuine, as there are certainly times when Deep Throat is shady as fuck - and later will even lie to Mulder - but then we see Deep Throat speak to Mulder from beyond the grave in his The Blessing Way fever dream in season 3.

Where he encourages Mulder to go back to the living world and not to look into the abyss. Suggesting he truly did care about him.

So moving on, Deep Throat tells Mulder about a secret government eugenics project called The Litchfield Experiment. Deep Throat says the purpose of this project is to create a “superior solider”. Yep, that’s right... the notion that the Syndicate were involved in creating super soldiers were seeded back in season 1.

He directs Mulder to an insane asylum where a subject of this shady experiment is being held named Eve 6.

So I am confused, how did Mulder explain to Scully how he knew about Eve 6 and the Litchfield experiments? He still hasn’t told her about Deep Throat, and won’t tell her about him until E.B.E. So how exactly did he explain to Scully why they were going there? “I dreamt it, Scully! I totally do not have an informant that basically lets me cheat every paranormal investigation I get stuck on. It err... yeah, came to me in a vision! Honest!”

Seriously, I’d forgotten just how often Mulder cheats by getting help from Deep Throat.

So off they trot to meet Eve 6, and Mulder takes another opportunity to side eye his hot new girlfriend partner when she’s not looking.

The eye sexing in this episode is off the chart by the way. They’re silently communicating a lot. A LOT, A LOT.

Eve 6 explains that she and many others were part of an experiment which gave them heightened strength, intelligence but also psychosis. They’re failed early attempts at creating super soldiers as they are uncontrollable. They all have a tendency to go bat crap crazy.

And shocker, the two girls Cindy and Teena are part of that same experiment.

Its interesting to watch Mulder and Scully’s differing reactions to Eve 6. The horror of what she is, a human monster but through no fault of her own. They both have a very visceral reaction to Eve 6′s Hannibal Lecter moment as she talks about trying to get a bit of lovin’ from a guard.

Scully is clearly uncomfortable; disturbed by Eve 6; her mental state; her living conditions, and the claims of what has been done to her.

Whereas Mulder looks at Eve 6 with morbid fascination. Like watching a car crash - you just can’t seem to look away from the horror of it. He’s reviled by her, but also strangely transfixed. Probably the profiler in him.

Now remember I said to keep score on how many times Scully gets it right and Mulder gets it wrong in this episode. Well, here’s another doozey.

So that’s Mulder acknowledging that the murders could have indeed happened at the same time by two different people working together, which earlier he summarily dismissed when Scully suggested it.

Have you noticed yet that I like to make a point of highlighting when Scully was actually right and Mulder was wrong? Why do I do it? Honestly, it’s because I still haven’t forgiven Mulder for his “who turns out to be right 98.9% of the time?” comment in season 6′s Field Trip.

Arrogant little bishop basher.

But wait, it gets better!

*whispers* Scully is too good for you.

Mulder suggests the two remaining Eves, Eve 7 and Eve 8, are killing the parents in order to take the girls back into the Litchfield fold.

But there’s some big holes in that hypothesis. First, if that was their goal all along, why not take the girls when they killed the fathers? Both kids were alone with their father’s at the time of their murders, so why kill the fathers and return later when the girls would be more protected, not less.

C’mon Mulder, there is obviously more going on here... you’re really off your game on this episode.

Maybe if you weren’t so distracted by all the eye sexing?

Cindy Reardon is kidnapped by Sally Kendrick a.k.a. Eve 7, and Mulder and Scully are left in the dirt. Mulder gets to do a bit of sexy running though. Damn, that boy can run!

Thankfully, through some spiffing police work, they locate the girls again, and it’s like someone has dressed them up in red as a warning - DANGER FOX MULDO, DANGER! They may as well have a neon sign above their heads blinking out the words “SATAN SPAWN!”

Someone has to take custody of the girls temporarily and, unexpectedly, Mulder volunteers himself and Scully for the job.

Wow, admit it, you just want to play dad.

Seriously, it’s almost like he planned it after watching Scully play Mum, talking about how “we” will take care of you... you’re safe with “us”.

You think I’m reaching? What is this “reaching” you speak of? This is a serious analysis series, with serious analysis only.

This is such a dad thing to say, Mulder. The translation is: SHUT UP AND JUST GET IN THE DAMN CAR.

I can just see Mulder and William now...

“Dad, what’s a momomyth?” “Not now, son. Just put your shoes on. We’re going to grandma Maggie’s” “But Dad, is it the sum of all human knowledge or first contact with an alien ra--” “WE’LL TALK ABOUT IT IN THE CAR, OKAY?!”

I see you Muldo, checking Scullywag out. Shouldn’t you keep your eyes on the road? Look, even the creepy murder baby has noticed your wandering eye.

Hmm, asking a kid if they can hold their pee. Yeah, Mulder has definitely never had kids before. Heck, I’ve never had kids before and I know that’s a dumb question. Kids seem to like waiting until their bladder is about to explode before asking to stop.

SCULLBAG! YOU TRAITOR. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PARENTAL SOLIDARITY - SHOWING A UNITED FRONT?!

Ah the domesticity of the coke saga… the adults watching their waistlines get diet. The kiddiewinks in need of recharging their murder batteries go for some of that high fructose goodness.

I love the look Scully has on her face in the background, a look that seems to be saying ‘don’t mind our precocious little brats’.

It kind of tickles me that this serving wench believes Mulder and Scully are married with kids. Don’t worry, the rest of the world will catch up with this statement of fact in 25 years.

Mulder and Scully even do the eye sex communication before they’re about to go do their business. Pee you on the other side, Scully!

Mulder even tells jokes silently. It’s all there in the eyes.

Then the more sinister of the two satan spawn, which I think is Teena, comes out to poison Mulder and Scully’s drinks.

YOUR DAD?!

LOOK BACK THE HELL UP KID, DON’T BE FUCKING WITH MY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW I AM VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT THIS SUBJECT.

It’s all right for me to joke about it, but when kids in the actual show start calling Mulder “dad”, I am gonna probably hyperventilate to death.

So of course, Mulder goes and acts all fatherly again. AHHHH THE PAAAIN!

He would have been such a sweet dad, guys… seriously. FFS CHRIS CARTER. MOVING ON...

TOUCH MAH HAND MULDERRRR!

It’s hypnotic, actually, watching their hands meet on a perpetual loop - you start to notice weird details, like how her finger slides over his.

Look at what this show reduces us to. Slavering weirdos who get excited at the merest brush of a hand. Just, fuck this show... sometimes, really, it can just fuck off?

Then in a touch of writing genius, they drop the “oops I forgot my keys” trope.

Mulder runs back into the cafe to find DUN DUN DUN... the poison conveniently left a partial mug ring on the table.

Which makes no sense either, because if Teena had got it on the cup, wouldn’t Mulder and Scully have seen it already? It’s bright green after all. But whatevs... Mulder goes and sticks his fingers in an unknown substances then true to form, puts it straight into his mouth.

I know, I felt thoroughly ashamed of taking this screen cap of Mulder licking his finger. But it’s not like I stopped and looked at it for a long time or anything. *whistles*

Realising the girls have poisoned his and Scully’s drink, Mulder runs back outside to rescue bae.

Again, Mulder has zero chill when it comes to feigning ignorance. Was the earlier kerfuffle getting Scully out of his motel room in such an obvious way put there just to demonstrate that Mulder has the acting ability of a wacky, flailing, inflatable, tube man?

How chivalrous.

Before we move on, lets rewind back a second...

MULDER’S FLOPPY HAIR FLOOFING IN THE WIND OMG.

FLOOFING!

Okay, okay... so the girls know Mulder is onto them, obviously... I guess Mulder forgot that the Eves have heightened intelligence as well as heightened psychosis.

Arghhh.. they’re so young! Mah baby agents!

The girls vanish but Mulder and Scully outsmart the fuck out of these little shits.

Side note... baby!Scully... such a badass.

baby!Mulder... eeeh not so much.

Mulder and Scully go back into the cafe to see if the girls went to hide in there, and Scully ruins my dream - of a single human being existing in the world who thinks Mulder and Scully are married with kids - by flashing her FBI badge at the serving wench.

I know she’s a waitress. Shhh... If I was a waitress, I’d much prefer to be called serving wench.

Wenchy McWenchface says a school bus just left with a ton a kids, so Mulder and Scully, quite cleverly I might add, trick the girls by splitting up.

Just to show us once again, these two are a pair of smart cookies, and are clearly meant for each other, as work partners as well as being the loves of each others lives. Yeppers.

So Scully follows the bus in the car, and Mulder stays at the cafe.

Come out, come out, wherever you areeeee....

Mulder bullying children. It’s a side hobby.

That’s all for Mulder and Scully, but there is an interesting scene at the end with the Eves. It seems Sally Kendrick was, in fact, Eve 8 not Eve 7 (or maybe they were both her?) as she arrives to rescue the girls.

I wonder if perhaps, after they escape, these three are involved in the super soldier project that spawns the super soldiers we come to know later in season 9? Who knows... but it would have been a cool little twist if they’d have brought back the Eves in season 9.

Shame.

It would have been a brilliant little bit of continuity. But we know this show is continuity averse at the best of times, so it doesn’t really surprise me that the never took the opportunity to tie that thread.

Next up... Ooh it’s the one you’ve all been waiting for, I can tell. 1x12 - Fire.

#thexfiles #x files #xf meta #xf analysis #msr #x files msr analysis series #xf gifs #xf screencaps #fox mulder #dana scully #david duchovny #gillian anderson #chris carter #txf 1x11 #eve

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potterzachary · 4 years

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Reiki Therapy Dubai Cheap And Easy Tips

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whimzea-blog · 7 years

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Hotter Sex with Your Man- Tonight! (Part 5)

This one is heavily inspired by the “Voyeurism” chapter in the Anti-Kink verse I linked earlier--also this is one tip I would NOT suggest you try with a partner lol

18. Unleash your man’s possessive side! When you’re at the club or even at the grocery store, flirt a little bit with another guy. A little jealousy never hurt anyone, and your man will work extra hard to make sure that you know you’re his.

Strangely, the dirty text tip did sort of work.

Zane had rushed to comfort Heath when he got home, telling him he’d told Jason what a fucking prick he was and that it would take a very long time for Zane to forgive him. And when Heath didn’t feel like he wanted to kill himself, Zane admitted that the ass pics he’d sent were hot as hell. Heath ended up on his hands and knees with Zane’s mouth on his asshole, and the sex had been much better than usual.

But still not to pre-stale levels.

Since things were on the uptick...well, sort of- Heath decided that he’d try another tip.

He was hesitant about #18, but it was the next thing on the list that he could actually do without breasts or high heels.

He had never noticed Zane get jealous. They were already very affectionate with their friends- it was just normal for them- and none of the guys in the group were interested in other guys.

But he had never tried to make Zane jealous, so this was new territory. This tip was definitely the hardest so far. It was rare for him to notice another guy in a sexual way, and even if he did, his gaydar was pretty terrible. He had no idea whether they would flirt back or punch him in the face.

Good thing he was a risk-taker, right?

Fortunately, a few nights later he was able to try out his flirting skills. The group had gone out to a club downtown, right on the edge of West Hollywood. Heath thought there was a pretty good chance there’d be someone into him there.

He’d worn the same tight jeans he’d done the strip tease in and an even tighter black t-shirt. He knew he was going to get roasted by the guys for the outfit, but it was worth it if it worked to get Zane jealous.

They headed straight to the bar when they arrived. It was packed, and loud, and hot. Zane was clinging to him like glue, partly because of Heath’s ass in those jeans, and partly because he was trying to stay away from Jason, who unfortunately had tagged along.

Normally Heath wouldn’t mind, but it was going to be pretty hard to make Zane jealous if he was watching him the entire time.

His chance came when Zane left to go to the bathroom. He took his drink and scrambled to the other end of the bar that was obscured by people and a big pillar, so Zane would’t find him right away when he came back.

He tried to pose sexily, at first leaning with his back against the bar so he could see everyone, and they could see him. When that didn’t work, he turned around and rested his elbows on the bar, sticking his ass out. He finished his drink and played with his phone, willing someone to just come up and talk to him so he could put this plan in action.

As soon as he had thought it, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He knew it wasn’t Zane, but he could tell it was definitely a dude. He felt a rush of nervous anticipation, but he pushed it back down, swallowed, and turned to look.

He was gorgeous, His skin was a beautiful caramel color, and his eyes were a deep dark brown. He had head of thick black hair, and an absolutely stellar body. He was like Todd, but with bigger pecs.

“Hi. I’m Jeremy.” The guy held out his hand for Heath to shake.

“Heath.” Jeremy was smiling at him widely, his teeth white and sparkling like he was in a commercial.

“Nice to meet you, Heath. So, I saw you standing here and thought you were pretty cute. I was hoping you’d dance with me,” Jeremy said, gesturing towards the dance floor.

Heath couldn’t imagine walking up to someone and asking them point blank if they wanted to dance, but he guessed that if you were as hot as this guy, you could afford to be a little cocky.

HIs eyes flicked to the other end of the bar. He could see that Zane was looking for him. Heath leaned a little bit more over the bar, hoping that Zane would notice.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Zane finally spot him, but he kept his eyes on Jeremy.

“Sure, I’d love to,” Heath answered. He let Jeremy take his hand and lead him to the dance floor, and he was positive Zane had seen every step.

It was weird dancing with a guy. He and Zane had never done it seriously, only for a stupid Snap or something. But this guy was serious, and he was already dancing pretty hard.

Heath stayed with Jeremy for a few songs. He realized his plan was backfiring towards the end of the fourth. He was smashed against Jeremy’s front, and he could feel Jeremy’s dick hard against his ass. He was so, so uncomfortable, and he couldn’t see that Zane was even watching them.

He tried to move them closer to where Zane had been standing at the bar, and luckily he was still there, although he was talking to Brandon now.

He lasted one more song, until he couldn’t stomach the feeling of Jeremy against him one second longer.

“Hey, this was really fun, but I better get back to my friends,” Heath said, inching towards the bar.

“Can I get your number before you go?” Jeremy asked, unperturbed.

“I don’t have a phone,” Heath lied before he scurried back to the bar. He ordered a shot of tequila and downed it before approaching Brandon and Zane. As he expected, the burn of the liquor helped to get rid of the cringe.

“Who were you dancing with?” Zane was looking at him funny, but Heath couldn’t tell if he was jealous or not. At least he had seen them.

“Oh, just some guy,” Heath answered casually. “I think his name was John, or Jimmy or something.”

“That’s cool,” Zane replied, nodding and taking a sip of his beer.

That’s cool? What the fuck?

“So, you...you don’t mind?”

“That you were dancing with another guy?” Zane shook his head. “Nah. It’s just dancing. I trust you.”

Okay, Heath’s plan had definitely backfired. And to top it off, Zane apparently was the best boyfriend on the entire planet.

“And it didn’t look like you were having much fun anyway,” Zane added. “Actually, it looked like you were pretty miserable.”

He wasn’t wrong.

Heath stayed at the bar with them for a bit longer before the girls came and dragged him to the floor for more dancing. Dancing with them was a lot more pleasant, and he figured even if the tip hadn’t worked, he was having a good time anyway.

They decided to switch locations at around 1am, and they were walking to the next place when Heath’s phone buzzed. It was Dommy D.

Hey, saw on Snap that u guys were out and about. Mind if I join? Just got back from San Fran but not tired yet.

Heath hadn’t seen Dom in two weeks, and hadn’t realized how much he’d missed him until now. Fuck yes. We’re heading to Sultan now. Meet us there.

Sultan was a hookah bar/club/restaurant/whatever else you could think of. It was what they all liked about it. If you were hype, you could dance and get fucked up. If you were feeling more chill, you could smoke and eat. And the baklava was on point.

See you in twenty.

“Dom’s gonna meet us at Sultan,” Heath told Zane excitedly. “I haven’t seen that guy in forever.”

“Great,” Zane replied with a smile, throwing an arm around Heath’s shoulders.

Heath was feeling more chill, so he went straight for the hookah bar when they arrived. This area of Sultan was covered with low red cushions, with short tables scattered in between.

He flopped onto a cushion. Only Brandon and his date decided to join him, and that was totally fine. Less was more with this sort of thing.

Soon they had a hookah in front of them, and they chatted and took turns smoking.

Dom found him not too long after, and Heath grinned as he sat down next to him on the cushion.

“Dude!” Heath hugged his friend and handed him the hose so he could smoke. “How was San Fran?”

They talked until the hookah had burned out and then they ordered another. Dom kept drinking until he was delightfully tipsy. He was even more hilarious than usual.

Brandon and his date decided to call it a night, so Heath and Dom had the space all to themselves. Their sides were pressed together from thigh to shoulder, and they passed the hose back and forth. Heath laughed a lot, and even though he knew there was only tobacco in the hookah, he felt calmer, more chill, and totally at ease.

Heath let his head drop onto Dom’s shoulder for a second, and Dom wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Shotgun!” Dom called out before he inhaled, sucking up the smoke and holding it in his mouth, gesturing at Heath.

Heath laughed and opened his mouth, and Dom pressed his lips against Heath’s to blow the smoke inside.

Heath inhaled deeply, then exhaled the excess off to the side. Dom was still really close to his face, looking at him intently.

“Dom?” Heath breathed, confused. And then he felt Dom’s lips on his again, but this time there was no smoke.

Heath made a surprised noise, and Dom put a hand on his neck and deepened the kiss.

Heath was too shocked to do anything other than sit there with Dom’s tongue in his mouth. Never, in the whole time that they had been friends, had Dom ever shown an inkling of interest in guys, even when he was balls to the wall drunk or high on molly.

Heath didn’t exactly kiss back, but it took him awhile to pull away. What would he do when this kiss was over? What would happen to their friendship?

“Heath?”

Oh no. Oh God no.

Heath turned his head and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. Zane was standing in front of them, a drink in his hand. He looked crushed. A mixture of anger, and sadness, and utter devastation.

Heath was like in a deer in headlights. Dom had his head in his hands and was cursing quietly to himself.

“I came over to check on you...but it looks like you’re doing okay,” Zane said softly. Heath had never heard him sound like that in his life- heart-broken. “Don’t let me interrupt.”

“Zane-” Heath began, but Zane turned, dropped his drink on a table, and disappeared through the entrance into the night.

“Fuck.” Heath knocked his head against the wall and shut his eyes. It was one thing to dance with a random stranger at a bar. It was another to kiss one of your best friends on the mouth when you already had a boyfriend.

“Fuck.”

#zeath #zeath fic

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danielcutajarpsychologyofplay · 5 years

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INSIDE

Inside is a puzzle-platformer adventure game in which the player controls a boy who is traversing through different areas and escaping life threatening situations.

Assessing my level of Immersion and whether I felt presence in the game I first need to outline the three levels of immersion one can experience within a game.

They are: Engagement, Engrossment and Total Immersion

Emily Brown and Paul Cairns explain the three levels to have these specific meanings.

Engagement: “This is the lowest level of involvement with a game and must occur before any other level. To lower the barriers to enter this level, the gamer needs to invest time, effort, and attention. Accordingly, an initial barrier for engagement is access. This refers first to the gamers’ preference, if they do not like a certain style of game they will not even try to engage with it.”

Engrossment: “At this level of immersion due to the time, effort and attention put in, there is a high level of emotional investment in the game. This investment makes people want to keep playing and can lead to people feeling “emotionally drained” when they stop playing.”

Total Immersion: “The barriers to presence are empathy and atmosphere. Empathy is the growth of attachment and atmosphere the development of game construction. Empathy is distinct from attachment in that you feel attached to a main character or team but do not necessarily empathize with their situation.”

From my experience with the game Inside I have to assess that my level of immersion was looming around the engrossment level. Puzzle adventure games are a genre I can easily get lost into so achieving engagement in these types of games comes easily to me. Something about inside particularly really intrigued me. Firstly the visuals were breathtaking and the use of audio as a story telling device with no words but simply the sounds around the player really put me into the environment. The puzzles themselves also hooked me with me wasting time trying to figure out how to move on to the next stage. And I must add on that every puzzle was unique and different to the last making it that much more interesting to experience.

The game itself does a great job using all its devices to make the player immerse into the game. From the use of sounds to alert the player to the varied animations of the character depending on the situation such as marching when blending in with the lifeless grey people or running as fast as possible from a deadly dog. Along with this was the faceless player who never speaks. This is a tool used by developers to make it easier for the player to place themselves in the avatars position and take over. One of the biggest tricks I noticed came with timing. The developers adjusted all of the variables such as the players speed and distance needed to travel in dangerous situations to have the player escape by the skin of their teeth time and time again. This creates a reoccurring feeling of danger and excitement which really instills an emotional reaction from the player.

This ties in to one of the aspects Henrik Schoenau-Fog mentions in regards to immersion titled the affect component. “The affect component is concerned with the emotions players experience when performing activities and/or accomplishing something “

Furthermore, Laura Ermi, and Frans Mäyrä incorporate other elements of immersion namely different dimension of a game play experience mainly Sensory immersion, Challenge-based immersion and Imaginary immersion.

Sensory immersion : “Large screens close to player’s face and powerful sounds easily overpower the sensory information coming from the real world, and the player becomes entirely focused on the game world and its stimuli.”

This came from the audio and visuals which are a huge selling point for the game.

Challenge-based immersion: “This is the feeling of immersion that is at its most powerful when one is able to achieve a satisfying balance of challenges and abilities. Challenges can be related to motor skills or mental skills such as strategic thinking or logical problem solving, but they usually involve both to some degree.”

The constant puzzle solving and strategic thinking keeps challenge-based immersion a constant.

Imaginary immersion: “This is the area in which the game offers the player a chance to use their imagination, empathize with the characters, or just enjoy the fantasy of the game.”

In terms of story one could say its the weakest due to nothing being outright given to the player but all of the experiences the player goes through open up a world that is not normal and known to us so this immersion comes from the simple fact we want to know the answers to why everything is happening as it does.

Despite how encapsulated I was by the game knowing if I wasn’t busy with other assignments I would attempt to continue though the constant dying and brain racking challenges do overpower the enjoyment at times. Despite this I would still not say I was present in the game. The world moving around me as I always traveled to the left was a bit off putting when there were times I would want to explore the areas behind and despite the emotional reactions to fear and excitement I did not have an emphatic connection with the player and his story.

References:

Brown, E. and Cairns, P (2004). A Grounded Investigation of Game Immersion. <https://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~pcairns/pubs/Immersion.pdf>

Ermi, L. and Mäyrä, F. (2011). Fundamental Components of the Gameplay Experience. <https://publishup.uni-potsdam.de/opus4-ubp/frontdoor/deliver/index/docId/5046/file/digarec06_S088_115.pdf>

Schoenau-Fog , H. (2011). The Player Engagement Process – An Exploration of Continuation Desire in Digital Games. <http://digra.org/wp-content/uploads/digital-library/11307.06025.pdf>

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bellphilip91 · 4 years

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Reiki Healing Music 45 Minutes Marvelous Cool Tips

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How Much Does It Cost To Learn Reiki

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Reiki Japanese

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#Reiki Healing Music 45 Minutes Marvelous Cool Tips #Reiki Master Arkansas

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cadysu · 7 years

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tell me about your kokuyo gang headcanons pls and thanks

Let us talk about my children the Kokuyo Gang aka Mukuro, Ken, Chikusa, M.M., and the rest but not Chrome because Chrome is a member of the Vongola Family and was kicked out. :^) EDIT: NO FRAN BECAUSE THIS POST GOT TOO LONG GOMEN. I’m going to do a paragraph or so segment for each character I think with some canon facts mixed into headcanon so have FUN!

Mukuro- Mukuro has a lot of canon info already so this is gonna be on the shorter part. Mukuro is a little shit kjasnd Mukuro enjoys reading of all types- from picking up a magazine to novels. He is also very spiritual- yes his powers have ties to the levels of Hell, but I can see religion and belief systems being topics of interest for him. He’s extremely up to date on politics (less in a “wow politics is interesting” and more as a study of people. He watches to see the corruption, lies, and abuse of power. And let’s make it pretty damn clear that if he had nothing better to do/ there was no effort to it, Mukuro would 10000% be okay murdering those people in cold blood because he can. I feel like a lot of people forget Mukuro is a villain (antihero but still a villain too). On a less serious side of everything though- Mukuro can also be very laid back and playful. He pampers himself (spa day with M.M., glass of wine FRUIT COCKTAIL, video games with the rest of the gang, etc.) As serious and scary as he can come across, he is still a teenager. A teenager that is fully aware of how bad the world can be, but also in a bit of a chuuni-bubble where he feels this one man illusionist wrecking machine can take over everything and his only obstacle atm is the Vongola Family.

Also Mukuro strikes me as someone who would enjoy David Lynch movies. I mean I’m not projecting my love of Twin Peaks on him, but watching Twin Peaks made me think he’d enjoy it a fair amount. :T Or at least Fire Walk With Me.

Ken- SMELLY BOI. I love Ken. Ken may not be the smartest, but do not call him stupid! He just works things out differently. Ken can pick up on small things that many people miss due to his keen observation skills; his sense of smell, hearing, and vision are all heightened compared to a normal human being. He can almost “sniff” out illusions if they’re not very well done and he is a natural at catching someone in a lie. Ken canonically hates bathing but I can also see him being grubby in general- he doesn’t floss as much as he should or clean his ears, he has dirty nails, runs around barefoot a lot- stuff like that. Ken doesn’t eat his veggies either. He’s like that one tumblr post where Chikusa is the “Do you feel guilty when you dont eat vegetables/ only junk food for awhile and you need healthy food to feel better?” “Idk Kakipi I’ve only had soda and gushers for 3 days and I feel fine” “Ken...no...” That is Ken. Ken has a huge fear of doctors/dental offices in general, but I think one of the biggest things that he’s scared of is anesthesia and needles, even though these things are supposed to help. Seeing tanks of nitrous or the small plastic mask to go over one’s mouth and nose really drive up his anxiety. Only Chikusa and Mukuro can really calm him down and convince him everything will be okay. Even if the doctor is Verde/ someone he has developed a degree of trust, he still cannot control his PTSD. Ken hates wearing suits and he doesn’t really like getting new clothes either- not so much anything against new clothes, he just likes wearing the same smelly shirt 5 days out of the week if he can. Also, not a set in stone headcanon, but I can picture Ken being colorblind.

Chikusa- Chikusa is such an overlooked character aaah- Okay first off- Chikusa is not as smart as Mukuro, but smarter than Ken. He sometimes reads or peaks into the books that Mukuro is reading, and he does try to continue his education however way he can. There actually isn’t a subject he really dislikes, but Ken and M.M. tease him for still doing things like homework or reading the old textbooks they have despite none of them going to school. Chikusa is also one of the only few in the house to do chores: cleaning, cooking, making Ken take a bath, grocery shopping, etc. He can also do small sewing/stitches for mending holes and he learns small skills relatively quickly as long as they aren’t too complex. Despite his extreme loyalty to Mukuro and rarely seen without Ken tagging along, Chikusa is a very independent person. Introverted, but independent. He spends his time at home playing video games and listening to music, and when he needs to leave, he just goes out. Chikusa is a better functioning adult as a teenager than most adults LOL (minus the fact he has no bills to pay). Chikusa tries to save his allowance money but usually gives some to Ken for whatever small reason like a few extra tries in an arcade game, some junk food or comic, etc. He never brings it up or asks for money in return but sometimes sighs with reluctance. If he really doesn’t want to, he’ll say no, but there’s usually a reason (”Ken we need real groceries. I’m not eating gum for dinner.” “I need to replace my headphone cord” “I have a crack in my glasses” etc.) Opposite to Ken, Chikusa tries to have really good hygiene. The only thing that truly bothers him is that he can’t wash his hair as much as he’d like, but he covers it with his hat and possibly dry shampoo from M.M. if desperate.

Chikusa is ambidextrous. :v

ABOUT THE BARCODE- Okay so another person I rp’d with had the headcanon of Chikusa being a twin and the barcode being a way the Estraneo kept track of them, which I thought was fucking genius. Screencaps and manga scans show he didn’t have that tattoo as a kiddo/pre-Mukuro rampage, so technically it isn’t accurate, but it’s a thought nonetheless. I do consider the barcode a tattoo and not drawn on/temporary/birthmark/etc. I still like that idea as an honoring thing. Like if he had a twin who they marked but the twin died during an experiment so when they were out of there he did it as a we-will-never-be-apart thing.M.M. - MY DAUGHTERU. God M.M. is such a good character but people snub her because she’s a “bitch” and a woman (I say that because when Mammon is greedy it is cute but when M.M. is greedy she’s bad. Same with her attitude! If a male shounen character acted that way he’d be like, a princely type. So yeah I think a lot of M.M. hate comes from people who don’t respect women :T)

ANYWAYS I genuinely love the idea of M.M.’s name/design/background having a small reference to the book series of Madeline. PROBLEM HERE IS I HAVE TWO HEADCANON BACKGROUNDS FOR HER AND I LIKE BOTH SO HERE THEY ARE: I headcanon her real name as Madeline, and the she was sent off to a wealthy all girl’s boarding school as a child. She lost her parents at a very young age and inherited a small fortune, but had nowhere to go. She would stay and live in the boarding school until school was out, and then stay with an estranged relative during the breaks. However, she quickly started staying at “friends” homes instead as her limited family did not look after her or have any interest in her actual well being. THE OTHER VERSION VERY SIMILAR BUT INSTEAD OF BEING WEALTHY SHE WAS VERY POOR AND SENT TO A WEALTHY SCHOOL. The idea of her either being a poor young girl who got a taste of riches and fucking took it or the idea of a young girl who grew up wealthy but was surrounded by people who wanted what she got made her be a lot harder and did a fuck you all I’m M.M. and I get what I want. I love both those ideas and I can see them both working as a background. Both M.M.s’ see how the capitalism really runs the world and the main difference is one just had to work a little more to get rich while the other had less of a struggle but equal amount of determination. M.M. learned quickly that she was rather “pretty” to men and with money, she wouldn’t have to run to anyone or need help from anyone.

To earn money, she started as a small petty thief and moved on to grander schemes quickly. M.M. was a talented shoplifter and would pick up on things she could sell off to the girl’s in school, and then for the big money she knows how to blackmail people and get dirt on anyone. A cheap disposable camera and risky photos can ruin a person’s life. A little bit of alcohol is all it really takes for someone to make a horrible mistake. Also a lot of alcohol can make someone pass out and lose all the money in their wallet. Although she never liked the business, I can see M.M. knowing the fastest cash she could make would be to sell drugs to other girls. A little coke here and there. Think of that post making fun of the group of white boys vs. hipsters with the caption “Who would pay more for weed?” M.M. knows who and knows how to convince them “this is some really rare good stuff that I stole from my parents~ Yknow it’s imported from Amsterdam~” or “Hey I heard you want to lose weight, yknow I know how you can be the thinnest girl in school~” M.M. is resourceful and cunning and she can and will prey on someone’s insecurities for money. M.M. has been arrested and does have a mugshot, but this was in the beginning of her thieving days and she was released later that night. She also may or may not have tried to seduce her guard(s). Also despite her flirting and knowing what she CAN do, she has never gone into sex work. She hasn’t met a man or woman who can afford her. She’s a virgin but she’ll lie about it/ leave it ambiguous just to see what pays more. :T

Now a lot of this all applies to her before she joined the Kokuyo gang. Mukuro had heard about M.M. when seeing her mugshot in a trashy gossip magazine. A young, pretty and precocious teenage girl with a natural talent of stealing? No family really known/ totally independent? Why not try and get her in your growing gang of misfits. She was hesitant at first, but Mukuro, in Verde’s own words, is extremely charismatic. Plus she finds him cute and really saw promise in his plans. She hates Kokuyo Land because of how dirty it is, and actually bothered to have her part of the hideout remodeled for her liking (a nice bed, a vanity in her room, a throw rug over the damaged floorboards, etc.) She managed to turn abandoned and run down into “shabby chic” but she’s hoping she can get it to a more Versailles tier one day.

Not to bring up Twin Peaks again but after watching it I definitely get Audrey Horne vibes out of M.M.

M.M. has the highest education of the Kokuyo Gang and has actually has a very good understanding of chemistry. Her main passion though is music and she genuinely loves to play her clarinet in her room for fun.

OTHER CHARACTERS!:

FUN “FACTS”:

M.M. is a Sephora VIB Rouge member and makes fun of people who have to shop at Ulta (except she does shop at Ulta when no one is looking.)

Each member of the Kokuyo Gang has a preferred fighting video game and main. (SIDE NOTE: I don’t play enough fighting games to be familiar with every character’s play styles in all games so these ideas can easily change) Mukuro- Mortal Kombat (I only played MK1 for genesis and MKX which I suck at but I can see him playing Scorpion and beating up Johnny Cage repeatedly), Ken- Tekken and probably mains Kuma (Ken can definitely tap the buttons fast enough for those combos), Chikusa- Street Fighter as Ryu/ he keeps things very classic (But usually he plays whatever Ken wants to play, so I can see him maybe playing a lot of Yoshimitsu), and M.M. is Soul Calibur as Ivy, who is definitely 100% not overpowered. Also Fran plays Smash bros. and he’s probably a Mewtwo spamming lil shit. Or Metaknight.

Chikusa’s likes to go inside Tower Records and Mandarake stores, but rarely buys anything because of his limited finances.

They didn’t have cable until Verde moved in and would sometimes watch daytime television. Local news, daytime soaps, public tv anime, etc. Sometimes they rent videos for a night at home, or sneak into movie theaters with a little illusion help.

NONE OF THEM HAVE GONE TO A DOCTOR OR DENTIST (except M.M. and Fran when he was at his granny’s) because of their past trauma. When Team Verde was formed, Verde did a health assessment but has been unsuccessful at making any of them see a dentist. Especially Ken- but Ken does take better care of his channels.

i have so much more to type but oh fuck i went on sorry chi jkdsfnaksdfn

#lONG POST #astrasia

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nyctobvi-blog · 7 years

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BECOMING A CERTIFIED DIVER WHEN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT DIVING

I dove once before on a very commercial Great Barrier Reef tour - all the coral was dead. But the BVI is apparently a great place to dive, so with the spare time on my hands I thought why not get certified?

The place to do it on Tortola is Blue Water Divers in Nanny Cay. For $450 USD over 4 days you get a textbook and 4 full days of diving to complete the PADI (Professional Association of Diving Instructors) Open Water Dive Certification. I went into this process totally blind, so I thought I’d recap the day by day experience here to share my candid perspective.

The short of it is - you will feel like you are in school again with the required reading and homework, but you will feel great to learn a new skill and meet some interesting people while at it.

DAY 1 Wow, I fucking hate diving. The weights, those tanks, the skills you must learn - UGFH - what the hell? I’m not supposed to be down there with the fish anyway - it’s so obvious - they even look at you oddly like GET A LIFE. I’m up at 6:30 to get my act together and fly through the first chapter of this textbook. I get a 90% of quiz 1 - hooray confidence boost. 30 knots later with a tremendous amount of water spraying down the whole of the boat, I was not so stoked.

This is actually more like torture than fun, the conditions were choppy, it was cold and I had a swimsuit that was very revealing to some particular body parts. Nevertheless I will say it was simulating to throw yourself into an environment and a practice you know absolutely nothing about, and feel a bit clueless as you work with gear you’ve never touched before - let alone assemble for yourself to serve as the ultimate lifeline for your underwater journey. Also having to learn new ways to communicate with your dive instructor in sign language at the most critical moments of the experience is something else, too.

I do 3 tank setups and then we do dive #1 - a set of skills, followed by another dive and set of skills, then another dive and set of skills. The last dive at least we saw a green turtle with a head the size of a small child. And some pretty purple coral and some nice fish with electric and interesting patterns. I was so cold at one point (even in a spring suit) that my fingertips were white and a little purple. To be honest, the best underwater life I ever saw was off Beachcomber Island in Fiji just going along with snorkels. Oh, and we got in a screaming match with another boat because he thought we were standing on the coral. He was an idiot, we were on the rocks and the diving group has the most respect for the environment out of any one out there. I though about cancelling the whole certification, I was pretty miserable, but told myself to stop bitching and suck it up. But right now I’m really dreading the 75 pages I have to read before I’m up at 6am for day 2.

DAY 2 Nitrogen. It makes you really sleepy. Incredibly sleepy. But thats what happens when you dive. So weird. Today was MUCH better than yesterday. Cant even compare. I’m so glad I came back.

I got scolded for not doing my reading though - having failed my 2 chapter quiz this am. I felt like a real jerk not having done my homework. It’s my ass after all! Nevertheless, today we had much more interesting people (a nice man from San Fran and some Polish guys) and a great instructor who really knew his stuff but was also cracking jokes underwater - a South African guy who was just laughs and made the whole experience much more enjoyable. We played tic-tac-toe on his writing slate at one point while we were waiting on another diver to finish her skills. If you’re not having fun down there what’s the point? And the weather was normal, an obvious mood booster and plus. We did 3 dives, more mask flooding, at one point leaving it off for a minute and then ‘losing’ it completely and having to ‘search’ for it (I was led by the instructor through this though) but that was the scariest part of our skills for today. I wear contacts so open eyes underwater is a no-no.

We did 30 skills total today - super nuts - and saw a massive string ray. Watching their lungs move is in incredible. We all had a few beers on the way back which was nice. I still think being underwater is super odd; at one point in between skills I was just standing there in my fins and all my gearing front of the reef, hair looking like I’ve been electrocuted, just starting at the coral and imagining to myself how weird this whole thing is. Anyway now I have to do my reading otherwise I will fail my exam tomorrow. Did I mention I’m writing this from a place called Peg Legs?

DAY 3 This routine is becoming a bit boring - we had to pick up two groups again from boats that took about half an hour, including a family - yawn. Wow just realized they all have painted purple toenails (wtf). They’ve just clarified there is absolutely no reason for the painting of the purple toenails which I find even weirder now. We also picked up the funny Polish guys again off their boat; their wives were enjoying a champagne brunch. I just started at them with envy. It really goes without saying that I'd much prefer to be on that boat than slapping a spring suit on and getting all this gear in place.

I passed my daily morning quiz though, after cramming 150 pages of knowledge into my head last night. This course is fully like being in school again - the dive shop lady greeted me with a "have you done your homework?" today. I had a not so nice respond in my head. Anyway, it's been nice to pour myself into something new nonetheless, especially when it’s so outside of my normal activity set (which to be honest as a New Yorker is not all that outdoorsy). I dunno how these guys do this every day though; the instructors are lovely and really have a good time together and with the clients which is nice. They clearly love diving. I still think it's cool but super weird, BUT I’m really stoked because I finished my diving skills today and I’m partially certified! Wasn’t expecting that. I had to fill in my log book and then I got all these stamps. Was a great feeling to have applied myself to this and complete it. Having gone down another 20 get today though, the nitrogen absolutely kicked my ass. Our final dive in Pellican’s Cove was really nice though; I kept thinking to myself what great color schemes the coral and reef made - there were beautiful deep olive greens, lavenders & dark purples, variations of tan colors & gentle browns. My friend Bobbi (who loves purple) would have went crazy for it. I also remembered via my textbook reading that purple is the strongest hue to maintain underwater, so perhaps thats why it was so pretty. And there were some really nice, soft feather like marine plants that just waved slowly in the water’s movement along with coral plants that looked like big fans you use when its sweltering. Plus, electric purple fish with bright yellow tails.

DAY 4

I still had to finish my written exam - yikes. 50 multiple choice questions and 10 written dive table problems focused on depth and time. Took me about 90 minutes but I passed! I’m now a certified diver. I never thought I would ever be able to claim that, nor did I really ever have a desire to, but thats what happens when you let the dominos just fall. I’m excited for the opportunity to dive someplace new with soft coral - apparently the best if you’re into colors like I am.

To celebrate, I bought myself a pretty beach cover up (to be fair, I had been wearing Vaughan’s Dark & Stormy T-shirt he probably got at a bar) and went to Frenchman’s Bay. I accidentally stumbled into a massage place again, Serenity Spa here in the harbor. I needed to kill some time but also felt super worked after the pat 3 days of non-stop diving. So Swedish massage it was. Now back at my favorite spot Scaramouch with an Aperol Spritz. So I’m basically in heaven :)

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interdisciplinaryart · 5 years

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Assemble Interview

Date of Recording: 19.06.2019

Assemble Interview Transcript

I started the interview with Holly who is a founding member of Assemble by introducing myself and talking about what I study and why I thought that an interview with assemble would be useful for my practice.

Interview officially starts: [00:01:42].

Mitchell: How did assemble come to be and what are the difficulties of working across multiple disciplines?

Holly: The majority of us were students at Cambridge University, we had just finished our undergrad and it was in the time of the recession, so sort of 2009 and Jobs were scarce as you remember, and opportunities were scarce so the majority of us moved to London and remained good friends and stayed in touch, there’s about 20 of us. Mostly Architecture students but then a few from, so say Fran is Alice’s cousin, Alice was in my year, Alice studied art well she studied philosophy first at Oxford and then went on to study Art at Leeds and became part of the first project very early on. Also, two other members of the collective Anika who was an English student at Cambridge and her friend, Louie both of them have quite a bit of experience in putting on film festivals and experience with sound systems and so on, so they also became part of the group right at the start. Anyway, we were all kind of in London most of them working on our practice getting our part one experience. Are you familiar sorry with architecture education, are you part 1 part 2, part 3?

Mitchell: Well I study Art and Design, but it is something that I am familiarizing myself with and considering in the future. [00:03:54].

Holly: okay yeah so just a bit of context there, so there are three stages to becoming a qualified architect. Part one is your undergrad, Part two is your diploma and part three is your professional qualification where you sort of basically learn about practice management, professionalism and how not to get sued and so on contract law and all that so part 1 is three years, part 2 is two years and in between those periods of studies you are working in practice to get experience. So, for most of us working in an architectural practice it is getting that experience and we just found that in the time of the recession it was quite negative and didn’t feel as creative as we thought it was going to be and we really missed our architectural education and decided to have a go at a project. We decided basically that we wanted to come up with our own project and we were all working full time in our own practices or elsewhere and we were hunting for a site to find out what that opportunity could be we were meeting in our evenings and weekends whilst working full time so it was all outside of that, the pub, spare bedrooms, and all sorts.

We came across this site in Clerkenwell and we approached the owner of the site and him was supportive of us doing anything that engaged the community because he has since filled the site with a mixed-use development, and it was just an abandoned petrol station that had been decommissioned.

So we thought it was a very interesting pilot project to work with and we very quickly had the idea of wanting to bring the community together and thought the grandeur and romance surrounding cinema-going and the picture palace was a very an interesting area to bring the community together so we did a lot of research into the history of that and we very quickly came up with the idea about enclosing this roof canopy with this large curtain creating the draped seating beneath and putting together a whole weekend of film screenings over a month period and we were working full time so this was all in our spare time and taking some holiday to do it and we all put in a little bit of money each to make it happen. We applied to a company at the time called ideas tap in which we pitched our ideas to and they put 2,500 pounds towards the project.

Beyond that there were a lot of materials that we found or borrowed or people donated to us. Tyvek roofing membrane was provided by a company called dupons because it was quite good advertising for them, good expose and we made this huge winched curtain that we could wince up. We got lots of Formica and we redressed some junior school furniture and overlayed Iconography from the cinema era on top of the furniture. We crossed hatched these textures and made a pattern on some furniture for the forecourt.

This was a temporary project that we did ourselves and it was really we received, we were so lucky it was a complete sell-out and it generated a lot of interest we had so much fun with it that we thought we just have to keep going with this.

That led us to our second project, straight of the back of this we thought we have got to find another opportunity and we soon learnt about a competition that create in London were putting on around the 2012 Olympics, where they were running a competition for 40,000 pounds for the winner. You had to be company to enter so at that point you had to be a company to enter so at that point we registered as assemble. We created a company, we got a business bank account again all of this in our spare time, whilst working full time elsewhere and we entered the competition and put a pitch together, we found this site through love art and architecture because Lewis was working for them at the time and they new of this really cool site in hackney wick under this flyover, this leftover space. an unusual space that was fenced off and public on a main walkway by the canal, but you just couldn’t access it, so it was really odd, it was quite interesting to propose something there and we obviously approached the council as well as a temporary project engaging the community and we won the competition which was fantastic. To quickly summarize the ambition of it we wanted to grow where the synerinyiom had been to cater to a wider audience child through to the elderly and different event so not just screenings but workshop classes, excise classes, musical recitals absolutely all sorts. So, we created this structure that was a raped seating underneath the flyover and then the pitched element was a curious resident that lived there before the flyer over was built and that created an internal space where we had a café. Again, we were so lucky it just completely sold out and so we extended the programme by another two weeks to include more and the money that we generated through ticket sales covered the overall cost of the project which ended up being around 70,000 pounds. From that we had a company and a business account, so we just kept looking for opportunities and we have grown from there now nearly 10 years on the directions that we have gone since are so varied.

We work across the fields of architecture, art and design, we do permanent projects, we do temporary and we are interested in architecture, interior design, product design, furniture design.

Mitchell: Do you think an artist making architecture should be considered an architect? [13:19:27].

Holly : So, my theory on that is to be an architect you do need to study architecture, that’s not to limit but if you are an artist that is interested in architecture you can absolutely become engaged in those projects. The key is collaborating and that is something that we absolutely love to do most of our projects involve collaboration of some sort with others.

So, we work with many artists and are interested in meeting new artists to learn from others, ceramicists, illustrators absolutely all sorts. So, I think the key to that question is collaboration finding the people you are interested in working with and making something happen. You can realise what ever it is you want by collaborating. But to deliver architectural projects you do need architectural training.

What works well about our collective is that we have such a mix of skills in house, so we are all bringing different things and learning from one another, we all have different interests sometimes that can be quite unruly and quite difficult to mange as a company but it is also one of our greatest strengths because we have this pool of resources, learning and experience and we can pull from one another.

Mitchell: Would you say that it is important for artists/ practitioners to push their boundaries and develop skills outside their normal disciplines? [15:18:05].

Holly: My personal feeling on that is it completely depends on the individual I don’t think it’s essential. It depends on what your interests are or what one’s interests are. Myself personally and speaking on behalf of the rest of the group I’d say that we are all of a similar mind set where we are so interested in learning and expanding on experience that we are all questioning all the time and we wouldn’t be intimidated about not knowing a certain field of something we would try to find who does know that. Who is interested in that field and find out if they are interested in working together or collaborating? Hats from experience the best way to go about these things but it doesn’t mean that everyone should do that.

Mitchell: Would you say that there is a need for more inter-disciplinary collectives within the creative industry? [16:22:06].

Holly: Again I think it totally depends on ones practice or whatever one is looking to do, I really think that as long as you and when I say you I mean one whoever that person is, that company or whatever they believe in what they are contributing to the world in whatever form that is and contributing to their own life. It’s not essential but I personally think it leads to richness in new avenues and new opportunities. So personally, for me yes but it is not essential for everybody.

Mitchell: What are the difficulties of constructing a self-built project? Like the Four Corners project for example. [17:15:00].

So it’s important for me to set up the context a little bit more for that, so that whole set of work which we have incrementally been involved in each year is all because of an extortionary group of residents the existing community that is there and they have been fighting for their community for twenty plus years they are absolutely extraordinary people and very resilient, they approached us after they became a CLT (Community land trust) they approached us to see if we would get involved because they had bought through different streams of funding bought 10 of the houses on the street. They wanted creative ideas for there refurbishments.

So, they approached us to see if we were interested and that is how we got involved and from that it has grown to include the Granbury winter garden and Granbury workout which was integral with the ten houses and that was what the whole turner prize project was around.

I’m at the minute involved in the next piece of the jigsaw which is for a new three-story domestic building, that’s a new build where it’s going to have a community café, ground floor and two residential flats above.

We have got ideas about developing the cladding with Granby workshop and the whole community can be involved in making the cladding for this new building.

Mitchell: Do you think it’s important for communities to have more access to knowledge about building and architecture? [20:07:11]

Holly: Absolutely I think that’s a really good question, that is something that we look to do with all of our projects to break down those usual barriers that make it hard for people to relate to the construction industry, the understanding of how projects are realised and what’s possible.

With every project we approach the detail of that project basis, we wouldn’t have a kind of set oh this is how we can approach this, what is in the projects best interest? the brief is this that they have given to us but here’s the opportunity this is really what’s going to enrich this project and this community. How we can really engage with however the particular group or the locals. Absolutely upskilling and trying to find the opportunities to deliver the best that’s possible. We are also interested in education of all backgrounds, ages and there are various different projects where the workshop upskilled the locals and gave some of them paid employment in the production of materials that then went into the houses the sale of which went back into the model to help the renovations. So, it’s a cycle/ system.

Also, another project on that basis which you might be interested in is black horse workshop in Wollen stone London and this has been quite pioneering as a project, working with the council and it delivers facilities, you can become engaged in black horse workshop in a number of ways everything from just going to the café which is a popular place for brunch, to going for classes where you can learn how to make a table and other pieces of furniture, to being a member where you have access to workshop facilities and specialty skills on site, or to be able to rent studio space.

It’s a complete variation of different packages that you can be involved in at different scales and it’s hugely popular and there is a feeling that most councils /boroughs would love this everyone is wanting a black horse workshop. It’s great in upskilling people and offering different ways that people can engage and get involved.

Mitchell: How does assemble choose what projects they take on? [23:13:11].

Holly: Our process is very democratic we have two people who are responsible for going through all the opportunities that come via email. We look through all the material, we might need top go back and ask some more questions so that we can properly interrogate that opportunity and then we put it all together in a digest. Every week the whole group comes together to sit down and review in a meeting those opportunities and discuss alongside our resources, how much time we have available will we do the project justice. Is it in our interest or is their someone else that we could recommend that is more appropriate and we go through them all together, everyone has a chance to pitch a project if they really want to work on it and then it comes down to how busy are you, is that really feasible and maybe other need to be working on it in a group. That goes back to that earlier question about that shared skill set sometimes a project is resourced with different skill sets in the group to deliver it. Myself bringing more of an architectural perspective, then say Fran or Anika bringing a more strategic early stage conceptual vision to the project. I hope that answers the question.

Mitchell: Where do you see assemble being in the next ten years? [24:58:10].

Holly : It isn’t easy being so many of us there are eighteen of us a the minute and for the first time we have taken on employees, we’ve got three employees who are fantastic, but I’m sure you can appreciate that as soon as you take on employees you have got obligations that you are stature in terms of their pay and their wellbeing.

We try to make sure that we are meeting those things for ourselves personally but we are running our own business and that’s a constant balance that we can properly pay people and deliver all of those things That’s a work in progress, a challenge that we are constantly trying to better our selves at and we are constantly reflecting on, reviewing and improving on.

So, I’d like to say ten years from now we will have improved on lots of those things which every company is faced with these challenges, but we are actively trying to better ourselves all the time.

I think also within the next ten years, I would like to say that we have taken on more large-scale architectural projects like our project Goldsmiths (Goldsmiths centre for contemporary arts) that was our largest commission so far and we have already started work on a few other large-scale projects that we are excited about.

We are not able to share them yet, but we are hoping to build on that. I think that we would like to grow as a practice to become a robust model that can grow slightly to accommodate more people more expertise and more skills that would be fantastic.

Mitchell: Have you guys completed the level three education in architecture? [27:06:04].

Holly: Yeah so, I have and there are another four that are about to qualify for part three but at the moment it is just myself.

Mitchell: Had any of you qualified at the time of assembles conception? [27:30:06].

No that’s like I was saying on the first project we were all part one student working full time elsewhere, so no a real mix. A lot of us being in the architectural profession had a lot of friends that were at different stages that we went to for advice along the way and I would say that very early on if anything we were following professional guidelines from a very early stage just to make sure that we had the right insurance in place and we were doing everything by the book. We have probably been adopting those principles earlier than most students.

End Of Interview.

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jasminefitzephotography-blog · 8 years

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Final evaluation The Future

Research

I did quite a bit of 2d research and it was fairly easy for me to pinpoint some inspiration and some of the photographers I felt more inspired by was Frans lanting and David Lloyd. They do very similar things, but I think with Lanting work, he photoshops animals into a scene and makes his work a lot more colourful, so black and white images don't apply to him that much whereas Lloyd, he does a range of black and white images depending on if they would look better in black and white or colour. I already knew what I wanted to do at the start and his work really inspired me to develop my wildlife photography and gave me a chance to photograph some stunning wildlife whether it was in a zoo or wildlife around my area. I did research in the library of two books that was based on wildlife and their environment, which also was my inspiration for my 3d element. Another bit of inspiration that focused on litter was a photographer called Andy Hughes and his work I got the idea of doing close ups of rubbish to focus on the subjects more and raise the awareness more effectively and Instead of making it colourful like his work, I decided to go a step further and make it dull and less colourful to make the awareness of litter more of a problem rather than a pretty photograph. I didn't do a lot of 4d research, but I did research on Tim Burton which does timelapse and stop motions of characters eg. Nightmare before christmas and an artist called Tony Plant which does sand art and timelapses how he creates it. I research timelapses more around my project eg. Dartmoor and Namib desert which showed travelling through time which was my idea.

Concept

My ideas haven't really changed apart from when I mentioned that I wanted to focus on wildlife around my area, but as the project had progress, I went more into the zoo pathway. However, I did still photograph wildlife in my area to show the contrast of animals in the wild, to animals that are wild, but are enclosed in a zoo. For my 3d shoot, I originally thought of using my wildlife ornaments and make up a background for them to show the problems they face because of us humans eg. overfishing causing penguins and otters to struggle hunting for food and therefore, they are endangered because of this and climate change, which affects ice caps melting and polar bears suffering because they can’t swim that well and are mainly land animals.

My 2d final images communicate the ideas that animals that aren't endangered shouldn’t be in an environment that isn’t their own eg. zoos because they get treated so often that they don’t realise how difficult it is to get food and shelter out in the wild and even though that seems a bit unfair, it’s part of their lifestyle. The other idea was that I wanted to communicate the idea of people overfishing can cause the marine life and wildlife to not have enough fish in the sea and overfishing could not only decrease the amount of fish, but also damage the natural environment as well as catching the animal itself which tends to happen a lot with penguins.

My 3d images communicate the ideas of litter and the effects it has on animals possibly swallowing or suffocating in them which eventually kills them. I find that a lot of people don’t really think about the consequences of dropping litter and think that it isn’t a big deal. Even Though the litter will eventually decompose, it could take hundreds of years depending on what the object is and before that time, an animal would have eaten it by then. Not only do I want to communicate that idea, but also, it doesn’t look environmentally well looked after because of how people treat it and thinking about it, that's what the wildlife have to put up with.

My 4D time lapse communicates the idea of a natural environment that wildlife in zoos should not be restricted to. When I went to the living coast, the whole zoo was enclosed with netting which I understand because they want to stop any other birds like seagulls from taking the food when the animals are getting fed, but even inside the living coast there are birds which need more free space than just a small area and the seals would love to be out in the open sea, but they are in a small enclosed tank. My practices have have been ok but not that successful. I did come across a problem when I didn’t leave my timelapse for long enough and because it started raining, I couldn’t carry on anyway, but I managed to get at least something to edit in the end. I overcome this problem by doing a few timelapse practices on my phone and left it for a while before pressing stop and that gave me a longer time lapse, but only 5 seconds, so I needed to just leave it for a bit longer to give myself a decent time lapse that lasted longer than my previous ones. I edited my practice one on adobe premier pro where I added audio and a title. To make myself more organised by next time, I need to give myself more time to do the 4D element because the research and practical was a bit rushed and last minute whereas I could have done that with the 2D and 3D and still have time to edit my photos as they don’t take long. I did another timelapse of a river and focused on its movement through time. Did a stop motion involving animals ornaments, paper and pen to write the message and my Canon 100d to capture the footage.

Core skills

My english has been constant throughout this project with write ups and evaluations etc. My maths hasn't really come up in my project apart from when I did the time lapse shoot where I had to calculate the time I was running the time lapse for, the time intervals for each frame, total of frames. I made a questionnaire about whether animals should be kept in zoos and litter as part of my maths skills of gathering data not just from people in my class but other people.

Technique

I experimented trying to do a panoramic image without a tripod and even though it was probably advisable that I used one, the results came out better than I thought. I experimented further on from doing a simple panoramic image and attempted a polar panoramic which the results again, turned out even better. I did push myself to take more photos out of college time, but I didn’t really do anything different on photoshop to what I normally do. I feel like I do need to push myself more in terms of trying out new techniques on my camera and in photoshop or any other photographic software even if it doesn’t work or the results aren’t what I wanted because it could show that I actually tried something outside my comfort zone.

Character development

In this project, I definitely experienced more pressure and stress than any of the projects i’ve done so far because there was a lot expected in the brief eg. 2d and 3d images and 4d moving image as well as having the backed up research and practical to support it which in the end, I did a lot of 2d and 3d work but not a lot of 4d work and it is something I’ll need to work on. I am quite organised but there was times where I was loaded with so much work that I was almost giving myself too much to do in a certain period of time. I’m good at working to deadline because I know responsibility plays a vital part and if I lose concentration when progressing with my work, so will my responsibility. I have contributed a little bit during workshops because they make sure that everyone at least shoots a certain amount of images before going back into class, but I still don’t contribute enough in class discussions which needs to come gradually and not just out of the blue.

Professionalism

Working with a client has got me experiencing working for other people especially organisations like the Devon wildlife trust (which is my client) because it has made me more aware that my work needs to be as professional as it can because they're the ones that may publish our work as part of their advertisement.

Working with the brief

My work fits the brief of being environmental because my photoshoots have either been focused on litter/wildlife or landscape and will hopefully raise awareness of the impacts of my images.

enjoyment/engagement

I enjoyed planning out and doing some shoots of my own out of college time because I didn’t feel too pressured in what was expected and I was able to edit them in my own time at home. I didn’t enjoy the time lapse that much because I thought that it was a little too much for me to handle, but I got through it and whether I carry it on in the next project, may depend on what we are doing in the next project and where it’ll fit in. I engaged with the project quite well because I’ve been wanting to do wildlife photography for ages and this project gave me the chance to show how I approach wildlife photography. I would have prefered to have chosen my own client rather than been limited to two because I feel that with a bigger organisation like the WWF, I could have gone outside the box a bit more.

High points and low points

I am most proud of the living coast shoot because even though some of the images were out of focus or not that good, I still managed to get a few decent photos out of the lot. The litter shoot I quite liked because of the same reasons. The thing I’m least proud of is the still life ornament shoot because I wasn’t 100% confident in what I was doing and the results weren’t that amazing. I think if I had all the resources to make up the scene and possibly borrowed some equipment, then it would have been better. Next time, I want to work on my photography skills as there is still room for improvement and if I can practice the technical skills in college then I can apply it to my camera.

What did the audience think?

My peer said they liked how I had a lot of content such as research and extra bits which flowed nicely in my blog. They liked my final images and they knew that I needed a time lapse/stop motion which I agreed with. My tutor likes my stop motion and the animal ornament work, he really likes the polar panoramic image but he said I should be more confident and open about showing him my work because I shy away a lot and without him looking through my blog, he wouldn’t have seen some of the great work i’ve produced. He would like to see more more practical and that meaning that I do more experimenting with different compositions, depth of fields and to be a bit more creative with my work as the big final major needs to exceed my standards and be mind blowing.

How I managed my time.

Looking at the pie chart, I spent most of my time on the project overall and blog, workbook because I know how important it is to put as much effort in as I could to my written work as well as practical. I definitely improved my time in taking and editing photos because I know last time, it wasn’t a high percentage and that was due to me doing more written work than practical, but in this project, as well as doing a lot of written work as usual, I also fitted in a few photoshoots.

Percentage breakdown (of the topics with blank colours):

Thinking of ideas, researching and discovering: 2.9%

Planning, organising: 2.9%

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