#totty!!!

[chorodevotee]

The Matsu's preferred weapons (Medieval AU)

There's a Hesokuri Wars set about this exact topic. I wanted to share my thoughts on it!

Osomatsu

Osomatsu is the one you'd expect to have a normal sword by default. I mean, why wouldn't he? He doesn't come across as the kind of person who'd be too strategic or picky about his weapon of choice. As long as he gets to do stuff, he'll roll with whatever!

So... the staff gave him a lance. And, you know what? There's really nothing wrong with that. It's different from the usual "Osomatsu gets the basic option" trope that HW had going on. It looks cool and it makes sense that he would use a weapon like that, but... Come on.

Osomatsu is a simple man. I think a standard sword is perfect for him. He can even have a shield, too. As a treat.

Besides, I have my reasons (it's only one) to give the lance to someone else.

Karamatsu

As for Karamatsu… Yeah, the long sword is perfect for him. Completely agreed with the (kinda? Is HW canon?) canon choice. Of course he'd use something big and eye-catching. Maybe he'd even try to customize the damn thing. Make it sparkly or have his name inscribed into the sword's metal.

Alternatively, I think double swords would also be a great choice for him. He'd get to do some sick poses with his swords while he fights. Surely he'd use some convoluted fighting style that looks like a dance; exaggerated, but deadly... Or, at least, he thinks it looks like that.

Also: Two swords, he's the second son… Yeah. It checks out.

Choromatsu

Remember the lance? Yes, the one I mentioned like 10 seconds ago. I just happened to have the perfect excuse to hand the thing to Choromatsu.

You see, the name "Choromatsu" comes from the japanese onomatopoeia "choro-choro." It apparently means "the way children and small things move around quickly". Can you already see where I'm going with this?

I can just picture this 5'3 king, ramming into battle with a pointy, sharp lance. I'm pretty sure running away from his problems is Choromatsu's favorite thing to do, so he'll have no problem using this weapon since it involves a lot of running!

I can also see him using a bow, which is as much, if not more, of a classic weapon than the lance itself. But let's face it, Choromatsu with a lance is way cooler (and it's unique and meaningful, too).

Ichimatsu

A crossbow is an interesting choice for a person like Ichimatsu, who is often portrayed as someone of very low energy. I like it, yes… But consider, whatever the hell is this:

Ichimatsu can be lazy sometimes… But not when it comes to violence, I think. Is this anything? I'm pretty sure he'd enjoy the absolute carnage that comes with using a weapon like this.

Jyushimatsu (no way, there's no yellow?! I'm sorry, Jyushi!)

The HW staff gave this man an axe. A giant one at that. He is an absolute unit and I can totally respect that, I love me a good axe representation, but… It seems a bit out of character to me. Am I the only one?

Jyushi can be violent, yes… But an axe? That feels excessive. Also, I just don't understand how the staff missed the opportunity to give him something like this:

Look at it. Now, look me in the eyes and tell me it doesn't resemble a baseball bat even JUST a little bit.

This was the obvious choice for him, so why did they not give him a [whatever the hell this thing is called]?

Perhaps it was too gruesome? I mean, it can't possibly be more gruesome than an axe, right? Also, this would have made for a excellent visual gag. It would have been perfect! Oh, how it hurts to have such big brain that only has objectively correct ideas!

Todomatsu

Finally… Totty. Oh, Totty. What a sneaky little rat you are.

I'll admit that a shield with spikes is an amazing choice for him. The thing is heart-shaped! Very cute. Very cute, Totty… While the combo of a sword and a shield is an absolute classic and doesn't look bad on him at all, I must say…

Let's give this man a dagger and see what happens.

"Ah! Oh, no, I've fallen!" Todomatsu whines, curled up on the ground of the battlefield. With fat tears in his eyes, he tries to shield his body with his arms. "And I don't have a weapon, oh! Whatever shall I do!"

And then, when somebody approaches… BOOM. 37 STAB WOUNDS IN FIVE SECONDS. YOU'RE DONE, BABE.

He'd be an absolute menace with a dagger. Maybe the staff knew this. Maybe it IS for the best that he doesn't have a dagger.

[flowerakatsuka]

LET'S HEAR IT FOR OUR NEETS!!

[wewerebornsextuplets]

based on a text post that i love very much

[shitslikethis]

nothing cracks me up more than the jersey devil episode of x files. i cannot stop thinking about it literally ever. it’s the one time mulder is stone cold correct about everything he says but his evidence is like a stick figure babadook drawing he bought (!) off a homeless guy and a cartoon of a gorilla with big naturals. iconic tbh.

[fala-alfredo-pasta]

Some oso twitter posts I made technically last year but never posted

Also i don't have twitter and don't plan to so if i messed up the formatting don't tell me

Bonus:

I spent 2 long genuinely putting effort into this pic so pls look at it lol

[awittlebabbyboy]

different colors for once

[moeatsushi]

bad exchange

[pant--eater]

I AM SOOO GAY FOR TOTTY I'M IN SHAMBLES GRAGRAGHRJDHJF

feat. toxic yuri with Mrs Tweedy

[brofightiscancelled]

[matsu-no-escape]

WEDDING-MATSU’S (dress edition 😎✨)

Made these a few months ago on my twitter. Someone called kara “wife” and it spawned this idea! The arts kinda old but im still happy with the designs i came up with!

[flowerakatsuka]

Cover Illustration for Monthly MdN Special Issue : Osomatsu-san ( vol. 264, april 2016 )

[wewerebornsextuplets]

you know what fuck it. phil collins album cover redraw

[wildaboutchu2000]

a post about makeup :3

[awittlebabbyboy]

You two were so close when you were younger

[moeatsushi]

heart 2 heart (oh god this can't be happening)

[pant--eater]

rewatching a gameplay of Bioshock Infinite reminded me that I had once a goofy ahh steampunk/fantasy au for Aardman universe. I posted earlier about it here on my old blog -> https://www.tumblr.com/trouser-consumer/741733919149473793?source=share

basically an AU where everyone is either a steampunky human or a supernatural immortal creature. The Super Smash Bros rosters being these:

Mrs Tweedy = ice queen, her heart is frozen and she drains life from living creatures cuz it helps her Feel(TM). Does not care how many innocent people she hurts in the process yippee. Also Ginger once defeated her and banished her for years, and her ego is hurt because she let a mere human destroy her

Mr Tweedy = fire king (they are divorced lol and he has retreated deep underground to dwell in loneliness)

Dr. Fry = The Sandman, currently allied with the ice queen in destroying the world simply because it's funny

Reginald Smith = a rancid capitalist human businessman who ended up accidentally allying with the Sandman and Ice Queen (doesn't even remember how it happened but there's no way out)

Lady Tottington = Mother Nature, she does her best in keeping the land and its creatures alive during these trying times </3 also trying to ward off Lord Quartermaine (who is either just a stinky ass human nobleman or Lord Death himself, havent decided yet)

the chickens = A peaceful farmer village that is also not afraid to fight literal gods :)

Wallace and Gromit = a couple of steampunky inventors just tryina make a living and help people with their goofy ahh inventions