#trauma

[russenoire]

that scene in season 1 where teruki hanazawa exorcises ekubo mid-sentence... and shigeo's eyes widen in shock?

i really want to talk about it, specifically the explosion meter accompanying it.

normally, when the teenager's emotions aren't obvious to the audience, that meter relays to us a sense of what he is actually feeling. but we cannot trust the meter here. we see it jump up a few points at teru's 'psycho wave' sending the sleazy ghost to the shadow realms, and remain steady at 50% upon shigeo's recollections of the spirit's unsavory nature. the boy outright tells teru that he isn't bothered. and it's funny!

but shigeo isn't being honest with himself here either.

his face briefly gives his feelings away before resettling into its normal flat affect. (to be fair, what he's really feeling isn't teru's business. this kid is trying to provoke a fight out of him, after all.) after he's basically tortured into exploding, shigeo spends three hours in the pouring rain, searching everywhere for ekubo.

three. hours.

these are not the actions of someone who isn't bothered. letting himself get drenched to the point of sickness,

even though he literally holds the power to shield himself from it,

reads to me like unconscious self-punishment for allowing all this to happen.

after a large chunk of his short life spent denying and fearing them for good reason, shigeo's first impulse is often not to use his psychic powers -- even after his integration at the story's end. i wish this was discussed more, because many watchers cannot fathom why this boy with world-breaking psychic abilities would ever refuse to use them.

also: the explosion meter lying to us / representing shigeo's detachment from his own emotions alexithymia may occur elsewhere in the series as well, especially when he's not close to an explosion; i'm reminded of the tiny dent ritsu's provocation of him makes in it a few episodes later.

[promptsforyourwhumpfic]

Whump Prompt #1086

Anon asked:

Need me some prompts for a really happy-go-lucky character who hides their traumas behind a witty remark and a cocky smile

Happy go-lucky is a trope I’ve modelled an OC on so:

Nothing appears to phase the character at first: even when it really should. 

When the Worst Stuff is revealed about their past, everyone is sat in horrified shock except your character, who passes the whole thing off as a funny story. The character shrugs and says ‘and I’m still alive so... I’ll drink to that.’

The ‘it is what it is’ mentality. Someone is mean to them? They’ve heard worse. They’re injured? ‘Not as bad as the last time.’ They’ve just witnessed something horrific? ‘Eh, at least no-one died in my arms this time.’

They’ve learnt to craft their backstory into something more humorous to reduce the impact it has on other people. 

“Hahah, well actually I’ve dealt with this before. It’s a funny story really, I was nearly executed for...”

Maybe one day they can’t hold it in anymore. That One Thing is enough to push them over the edge. Maybe they drink, maybe they do something else self destructive and it all comes out. There’s no cocky smile, there’s no joke; your character is being 100% real and It’s jarring for the caretakers... but also a relief that the trauma is finally being addressed. 

[randomreasonstolive]

Reason to Live #8838

 Hopping over a puddle on your walk.  – Guest Submission

(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)

[thepeacefulgarden]

[tikalyang]

“traitor ”

Genos feels guilty when he found himself enjoy the "normal life " with his sensei.

It's not easy to pull him out of that guilty swamp. Saitama keeps trying.

[thewarmvoid]

bruises on a boy don’t make him not a boy, but I don’t want my ribs to hurt anymore

[hussyknee]

PSA that's it's not just okay for you to not forgive the people that hurt you. It is actively a deeply fucked up thing for anyone to expect or advocate that you forgive someone that hurt you deeply. The choice whether or not to do so has no business being raised or influenced by anyone but you, and it has fuck all to do with healing and moving on. Not saying hold on to every grudge and resentment ever, but you also don't have to forgive them to simply not let it affect your future.

Fuck. Forgiveness. And fuck the culture of unthinking cruelty that insists on it, even when the people in question are still actively being impacted and abused. Prioritizing an end to discord over the tending of the wounded is unforgivably malevolent.

[voidic3ntity]

tired of the raw linguistic flattening, a reversal of alchemy,

from mind into matter, gold into lead, alembic alignment:

through chemical & metaphorical means, separation occurs,

occult to those who are uninitiated, yet to those who witness,

a grand alchemical transformation, for only through nigredo,

does purification prevail, the universal shadow seen by all,

mere darkness, the total absence of heavenly lightness,

an endless transformation upon the many vast aspects,

as above so below, as within so without, mind & matter;

fused through divine rotation, psychic cycle of change,

through both illusion & disillusion does reality flow freely.

[randomreasonstolive]

Reason to Live #8835

 Warm blankets, a nice book and hot cocoa. – Guest Submission

(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)

[completely-blue]

Y de pronto algo sucede, vuelvo a tener 8 años y estoy llorando en el baño, sola, para no molestar a nadie y que no me griten por llorar.

[starfishinthedistance]

I talk to many people who say things like "oh I have trauma but I don't have PTSD", but then when I talk to them a little more I realize that they most likely do, they just can't recognize it as such due to how lacking PTSD awareness is, even beyond the whole "it's not just a veteran's disorder" thing.

The main reason they think they don't have PTSD usually has to do with flashbacks and nightmares, either they have one but not the other or have neither. But here's the thing, those are only two symptoms out of the 23-odd recognized symptoms. Flashbacks and nightmares are two of the five symptoms under Criterion B (Intrusion), which you only need one of for a diagnosis. The other three symptoms are unwanted upsetting memories, emotional distress after being reminded of trauma and physical reactivity after being reminded of trauma (i.e. shaking, sweating, heart racing, feeling sick, nauseous or faint, etc). Therefore you can have both flashbacks and nightmares, one but not the other, or neither and still have PTSD.

In fact, a lot of the reasons people give me for why they don't think they have PTSD are literally a part of the diagnostic criteria.

"Oh, I can barely remember most parts of my trauma anyway." Criterion D (Negative Alterations in Cognition and Mood) includes inability to recall key features of the trauma.

"Oh but I don't get upset about my trauma that often because I avoid thinking of it or being around things that remind me of it most of the time." Criterion C (Avoidance) includes avoiding trauma-related thoughts or feelings and avoiding trauma-related external reminders, and you literally cannot get diagnosed if you don't have at least one of those two symptoms.

"Oh I just have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep, but I don't have nightmares." Criterion E (Alterations in Arousal and Reactivity) includes difficulting sleeping outside of nightmares.

"But I didn't have many/any trauma symptoms until a long time after the trauma happened." There's literally an entire specification for that.

Really it just shows how despite being one of the most well-known mental illnesses, people really don't know much about PTSD. If you have trauma, I ask you to at least look at the criteria before you decide you don't have PTSD. Hell, even if you don't have trauma, look at the criteria anyway because there are so many symptoms in there that just are not talked about.

PTSD awareness is not just about flashbacks and nightmares.

[punkstylerecovery]

“It could’ve been worse.” It could’ve been BETTER. It could’e been EASIER. It could’ve been lovely. It could’ve been beautiful, it could’ve been fun. It could have been simple, it could’ve made you HAPPY. 

You can drown in two feet of water just as simply as you can in an ocean. Stop downplaying what happened and neglecting your feelings. Kill that idea with fire. Or at least acknowledge that what happened was bad without immediately trying to justify or dismiss it.

[healing-is-cool]

If it caused you pain, it was real. It matters. Your feelings are valid.

[randomreasonstolive]

Reason to Live #8839

  Eagerly waiting for a letter to arrive! – Guest Submission

(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)

[horanpisou]

[bittenborderline]

Please I just want to feel fucking safe and looked after I’m so sick of being terrified