#traumatized child

[furiousgoldfish]

which one of these did you believe was normal throughout your childhood:

Parents telling you that you're a financial burden to them

Parents insisting you need to work if you want to live in their house

Parents threatening to kick you out if you don't do as they say

Parents threatening death to you

Parents convincing you that you would die without them

Parents expecting you to know information you've never been taught or shown

Parents convincing you that you're unlovable

Parents telling you that any harm done to you is deserved

Parents not caring if you're sick/injured and shaming you for it

Parents expecting you to not have needs

Parents telling you that you're 'crazy' when you remember something traumatic they did to you

Parents acting like you're not a part of the family whenever is convenient

Being told to keep silent to 'keep the family together'

'What happens in my house stay in my house'

Parents inflicting physical abuse, marks and injuries on you

Parents having the right to do whatever they please to their kid

Parents insisting they must be automatically forgiven for everything

Parents telling you that you're the abusive one if you disobey

Parents throwing rage tantrums and screaming hateful atrocities at you in the 'heat of the moment' then later pretending thats normal and forgivable

Parents being allowed to act immature while children are not

Parents simply 'not noticing' when you have emotional/mental issues

Being suicidal and nobody caring or paying attention to it

Struggling with eating disorders/mental illnesses/disability and only being shamed and blamed for it

Parents insisting that their right to hurt you is above law and reason and that you are the only one who can be punished

Idea that 'everyone has it this hard' and 'you're the only one who is being this badly affected by otherwise normal treatment of children

Being told that it would only be worse for you somewhere else and you're lucky that you're only having 'only that amount of abuse'

Parents comparing their parenting to worse examples and wanting gratitude that they're 'not as bad'

Parents telling you that you'll never amount to anything and undermining everything you've done in life continually

Parents acting like your experience and perspective don't matter, or insisting you don't have the right to one in the first place.

(none of these are normal. this is brainwashing)

[anatidephobia]

whole life convincing yourself that you’re emotionless, cold and unbothered only to realise many years later that you created that version of yourself because in reality you couldn’t bare the thought of being vulnerable in any way

and when you finally realise that it’s not something to be proud of you also realise that it’s too late to re-learn everything

you feel great shame because you finally see that you weren’t actually strong - all of it was a weakness. the thing you hated the most. you couldn’t embrace it

and worst of all - you realise that you’ve become exactly like the person who hurt you in the beginning

[neuroticmidmights]

Hopeless

There’s an immense hopelessness in being stuck in a home whose inhabitants you foster the deepest hate for. It’s painful to hate your family , because no matter what they have done to deserve that hate , you want to love them . You want to like them . You are supposed to . That’s what everyone - society , media , friends , institutions , tells you .

It’s isolating to have complicated relationships with family . Your family trauma feels like something you should keep to yourself . People will judge you for speaking about it . They wouldn’t understand . They wouldn’t understand how the slightest of micro-aggressions can make you reach a breaking point as they cumulate into a daily , hourly thing . They wouldn’t understand how it’s like to be on your toes for every conversation with certain family members . They wouldn’t know what it’s like to have to plan escape plans . Or the pain of not having any .

Toxic families kill you from inside . If you are a person who wants a better life, refuses to give in to the cycle ; attempting to recover from the pain caused by the family can be so painful . Especially if you are still dependant on them , have to see them regularly ( or even sometimes). They still hold power over you , emotionally . They have a pattern of destroying you since childhood . It takes immense strength to stop them from having that effect on you , and it may take many years in several situations . It’s so hopeless in the meanwhile . Toxic , abusive , manipulative family may seem to be your own personal death sentence . It’s so hopeless here .

[internal-soundtrack]

POV: you are spiderman

But it's all okay, because it's just a canon event

[tears-of-amber]

You know your childhood was fucked up when little you used to beg “demons” to possess you so your soul had company.

You know your childhood was fucked up when now as an adult you only ever feel attracted to dangerous unattainable people incapable of fulfilling your needs.

You know your childhood was fucked up when you thought it was a good thing to be in pain because “good Christians should endure suffering without getting angry or sad or having negative emotions”.

You know your childhood was fucked up when you used to scream and throw things and pace around your room til you foamed at the mouth with hysteria and exhaustion. Btw, this isn’t just as a super young kid. I’m talking being 13 and doing this. All. The. Time.

You know your childhood was fucked up when you and your sibling had a code phrase you’d whisper to alert the other of your father approaching. And you’d both go silent after that phrase was spoken, shaking in fear and hoping he wouldn’t find you.

You know your childhood was fucked up when you used to fantasize about being kidnapped by people who loved you more. As if that is something that happens 💀

You know your childhood was fucked up when you would hardly ever crack a genuine smile.

You know your childhood was fucked up when your dad would bully you and your siblings for not eating enough and “wasting” food, but then would turn around and make obnoxious comments about you being overweight.

You know your childhood was fucked up when your dad had you and your mom and siblings convinced that god was being gracious by letting you exist because you’re pure evil and deserve to be tortured in hell from the fact that you exist.

If any of this sounds remotely like what you experience, Houston? We have a problem. Abuse isn’t just being beaten. Abuse comes in all shapes and forms. This isn’t a complete list. I could go on and on. Your trauma is valid. Stay safe everyone, and if you can’t, know that I’m rooting for you to find peace and a safe space.

[fairyforu]

when i was 16/17 i didn't have the permission to go out or do anything w my friends, i only would go out w my parents and most of the time we would have a big fight which my parents assumed it was "because of you..you're the reason why we always fight". anyways years went by so now that i'm 20 i have no friends, no kind of connection or relationship with anyone and it hurts honestly.. i feel so alone but i can't do anything about it so i write

[mrpcreblogtime]

The fixation got too strong and now I’m actually drawing shit.

[qissociation]

when i die i will haunt you for eternity, i'll make sure to never let you feel safe, just like you did to me.

[anorexic-alcazar]

Guide to fanfiction tags

Has anyone ever seen a fic and wondered "hmm I wonder what that tag means?" And then end up getting traumatized halfway through reading? well worry not, here we have the guide to fic tags!

Ps: read certain fics at your own risk on AO3.

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Fluff- Stories that will have the overall theme ensuring cheerful and lively moods, usually a gentle and peaceful tone set between characters, this category is very wholesome.

Angst- Set in themes of sadness and despair, mainly tragedies such as certain things like character death, depression, miscommunication, etc, things that get the reader on edge or evoke empathy.

Smut- a separate term for porn, contains scenes or detailed descriptions about sex.

Crack fic- fics that are absurd, ridiculous and have the most unexplainable things that happen in them, generally has an illogical plot that doesn’t have correct spelling or grammar sometimes, mostly on purpose written by authors.

AU(Alternate Universe)- Storys where the the plot or setting is deviated away from canon and makes an alternative storyline.

Wlw- Short for "women loving women" particularly used in lesbian romance stories.

Mlm- Short for "men loving men" particularly used in gay romance stories.

A/B/O(Alpha/Beta/omega)- A sub genre of erotic fiction, A trope In which humans have more animalistic traits. This genre is called Omegaverse. Omegaverse is an alternate universe following the hierarchy of wolves. People are divided into 3 categories Alpha, Beta, and Omega. Alphas are the top of society and considered leaders, betas are just about regular humans and on the middle of the hierarchy, Omegas which are last on the hierarchy are at the bottom of the barrel meaning they’re frowned upon by society. This genre is very Kinky and mainly contain a lot of smut.

Modern AU- Fics where characters are placed in a more advanced or futuristic setting instead of their normal setting.

Oneshot- Fics that are one chapter. Usually not related to any other fics the author may have.

OTP(One True Pairing)- A ship between characters that is mainly preferred by the fandom.

OFC(Original Female Character)- An original female character created by the author.

OMC(Original Male character)- An Original male character created by the author.

Y/n- Stands for "your name" and inserts you into the story, this can have many uses as there could be romantic relationships, side characters plot, etc.

X reader- Makes you the main character In the story and involves getting In romantic relationships with characters.

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Alright let’s get to the complicated tags

Warning proceed with caution ⚠️🚧

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Pro ship- notoriously problematic ships for instance MinorxAdult, Incest, Abusive relationships, bestiality, etc.

Non-Con(Non-Consensual)- This refers to non-consensual sex.

Dub-Con(Dubious Consent)- Sex scenarios that lack clear consent, The characters might be enjoying themselves while at It but the circumstances are relatively shady.

Mpreg(Male Pregnancy)- In the instance where a man gets pregnant instead of a woman.

Watersports- *Oh If only watersports was actually related to sports involving water well that isn’t the case here* Watersports in fanfics Imply Sexual activity involving Urination.

Dead dove: do not eat- Fanworks that contain morally reprehensible or unpleasant aspects, A way of an author telling you to read at your own risk.

Vore- A fetish involving consuming of another person.

"Inappropriate use of___"— using items not how they were supposed to be used, mostly used sexually

Oviposition- A kink that involves laying eggs into someone.

Emetophilia- A kink involving vommiting.

Necrophilia- Sexual intercourse or an attraction to dead bodies.

Gun play- Likely involving using guns in a sexual setting.

Knife play- Likely involving using knives in a sexual setting.

🚥🚥🚥🚥🚥🚥🚥🚥🚥🚥🚥🚥

Guys bare with me this my first post

But now with our guide to fanfic tags hopefully no one opens opens up a fic and halfway through realizing "HOLY SHIT I FORGOT THE SCAT KINK TAG" or anything like that

Anyways have a great day.

[queerfemboybf]

childhood trauma can also be... 💭

[furiousgoldfish]

For anyone who believes abuse is normal, inevitable, necessary, good to 'toughen you up' or something you deserved:

There are children out there who were never asked to accept 'tough love' as love. They've been given affection, acknowledgment, gentleness, consideration and care. And they're healthy and happy for it. They're not struggling to feel worthy of having their needs fulfilled. They are not weak, and they do not struggle with feeling weak for having a human need.

There are children out there who have done and said things, much worse than you've said and done, who've been forgiven. Their parents, or caretakers, understood they were kids, and that their intentions were those of a child, and forgave them without punishment, understanding that children need to be safe before being convenient. These children did not end up doing worse things. They grew up knowing compassion and not being scared their actions might bring unimaginable consequences.

There are children raised with a concept of freedom, who could choose their actions without worrying about being inconvenient or punished. There are children whose choices are supported, whose achievements are celebrated, and their chosen life path is lit up by the care and resources their families help provide to them. They don't have to live in secret. They don't have to feel ashamed about what they want. They don't need to do it all alone. They don't life in fear of failure.

There are parents out there who understand their role is to make their child protected and healthy. There are parents who never even thought about hitting their kids. There are parents who will do anything to prevent their child going thru the horrors of violence, aggression, someone lashing out at them, threats or abuse. These children walk the world feeling safer, like they belong, their humanity and feelings protected from harm.

There is a whole world out there that believes no child has deserved any of this harm. Only some people do these things to kids, only some people try to convince kids that these are 'good' things, or deserved things. They are not.

You deserved safety, dignity and grace growing up too. You deserved more than the hollow 'tough love' which was merely an excuse for not giving you the care you deserved. You would have turned out just fine. Abuse wasn't necessary, it wasn't normal, and it didn't help you. And it was avoidable. Nobody ever had to do any of that to you.

[pain-is-my-game]

I've finally realized why it's so hard for me to say I love you to my friends even though I can say it so easily to my mother. The phrase doesn't mean anything to me anymore. Especially since it's been used so much by someone who clearly doesn't show it by their actions. So that's why I can't say it back to the people who say it to me with genuine intent. It doesn't feel right.

[nyxo-cthulu]

Sebastian Flyte the girlfailure

[bodyunderconstruction]

[stargazerssociety]

alone.

One of our earliest alters simply goes by Alone.

I still remember the first time I spoke with it. I was 6 years old, camping out in my room to hide away from her.

I was crying. [Alone. Nox.]

’Hello..’

‘What? Where are you?’

‘I’m here with you. Don’t worry.’

*sniffling slowly begins to cease.* ’Who are you..?’

‘I’m alone… What’s wrong..?’

‘… I’m alone.’

[fairyforu]

i actually hate summers..i have no friends to go out w or anything it really sucks. i hope it ends very soon bc i have to stay at home:(( and spend this whole two months indoors, better mention that my parents wont lemme go out.. i cant believe it im almost 21 and yet they do me like this it's fuvking pathetic im literally a prisoner..lol