#try searching it up cause tumblrs giving me issues....

[geeerage]

K trend with blue lock boys

The trend in question (basically just inspired by the trend, not exactly) edit: the link won't work for some reason but its basically where person 1 puts on lipstick then messes it up then person 2 wipes it with their thumb and the camera turns to person 2 them with kisses all over their face dcguyfgideuwi

Would be sort of hesitant but would still say yes regardless. He would try to stay super still so he doesn’t mess you up. Gives a shy smile when you're finished. He gets all shy when you tell him how pretty he looks covered in your kisses.

Isagi, Chigiri, Reo, Loki

Would say yes immediately. He would be so excited to get kisses on his face and couldn’t stop smiling + gets super hyper. Even when you're done making the video he would not take the lipstick off which leads to oval shaped red tints all over his face, but he wouldn’t care and would be super proud of them.

Bachira, Bachira, Bachira

He would probably be the one to do the trend to you. He gives a slight smile between each kiss and teases some kisses down your neck as well as whispering things in your ears, trying his best to get a reaction out of you. Kisses you on the lips at the end just to catch you off guard. You can’t help but admire how pretty he looks with lipstick on which only boosts his ego when he catches you staring at him.

Kaiser, Aiku

At first completely refuses, like he just straight up says no. When you do end up convincing him he complains a bunch but not-so secretly enjoys it, a lot. Would either hid his face from the camera or wear a really bored expression (which obvi isn’t how he’s actually feeling) Now every once in a while he’ll come up to you with a tube of red lipstick and just hands it to you and doesn’t say a word, he just waits for you to finally get it and starts peppering his face with kisses.

Rin, Sae, Barou, Nagi

[anti-dazai-blog]

I don't understand why fans in general are always so against critical analysis & always try to defend characters whenever someone points out bad writing. Bsd fans have huge issue like that I'm glad you're so vocal about dazai character writing tho cause lots of people just avoid it due to his fans taking it so personal

I think it’s mainly an issue of people not properly tagging their posts, so that when people search their favorite characters, they find negativity instead of the positive content they were hoping for. It makes sense why that would be annoying— but in the end of the day it’s everyone’s job to curate their own internet experience.

I tag all of my negative posts with #anti dazai, so it’s pretty easy for a person to just block that tag (or block this account), and so most people don’t have a problem with me. I’ve only run into any sort of problem with two separate tumblr users in the past (one of which is pretty infamous in these bsd tumblr circles)— so from my end of things, I don’t really see all the people getting angry about character-critical content. I know it’s out there, I personally just don’t come across it very often.

I also block very liberally, so that might be a contributing factor to why I don’t see that side of the fandom. But either way.

I’m glad you’re enjoying this blog!! For any given piece of media there will be positive aspects and negative aspects, and everyone can and should feel free to talk as much as they want about both sides. There also isn’t a single right answer— meaning one person could find a character to be written in a very compelling way and someone else can find the character writing shallow— neither person is wrong, so long as they can justify their opinions with textual evidence.

The only time a media interpretation is wrong is when it’s entirely made up. And I don’t mean “this person read the text and came away with a different conclusion than me,” I mean “this person is directly contradicting the text and is giving no reasons for why they might think the text is lying.” There’s always the concept of an unreliable narrator, but on tumblr, the website that’s infamous for lacking any sort of Reading Comprehension… yeah you’re not gonna get the brilliant literary debates everyone’s hoping for.

[moqi2004]

I'm making a post because I haven't seen anyone talk about this on Tumblr. Just some advice for those wanting to do the No Mercy route so they don't end up like me.

Steamworks spoilers under the cut. If you're doing No Mercy I assume you've done at least one other route. Read this BEFORE going too far ahead!

In the Steamworks, BEFORE you head into the green computer room where you'd normally turn off the power, make sure you kill ALL of the enemies in the area until you get the usual "But nobody came" message.

Yes, I went too far ahead before doing this and also saved. Seeing the Axis fight was coming up, I went back to deal with any stray enemies, only to find that I wasn't getting any encounters at all. Confused, I ran all the way back through the Steamworks without a single encounter.

After going to the internet and inquiring with Reddit, I found that I had accidentally ABORTED the No Mercy route! Now it took me a good few hours to beat Ceroba (after a week's break because I was sick) and I knew I didn't wanna do it again. Luckily it seems Reddit has a couple fixes but as of posting this I haven't tried them. I'll do so and then edit the post with how it goes. Here's the reddit post I'm referring to.

This sucks cause I'm someone who adores this fangame! I think I wouldn't be as upset if not for the warning they gave me in the Dunes about killing all the enemies. I'm surprised such a glaring issue was missed. Hoping the devs get this fixed ;w;

EDIT: Okay yea I managed to get it fixed! Although it involved going into my files and doing a little bit of messing with them. Plus, a lot of the instructions on the Reddit post itself were hard to follow, so imma write down some of my own.

The method I used involves you downloading a save file someone uploaded to the internet, which sends you back to just before the Axis chase. This does also give you that save file's items so you will lose what you had there. Here's how to do it:

Paste %appdata% into your taskbar search bar. That's the bar that has all your open/pinned apps down at the bottom. If you're on desktop reading this you can see it right now.

Click the %appdata% folder that appears from the search results

You will have ended up in a folder titled "Roaming". You will be able to see it in the top bar to the left of the searchbar in the file explorer. To the left of where it says "Roaming", it will list "AppData". Click there to go into that folder.

Click on the folder named "Local"

Scroll down until you find a folder that is titled "Undertale_Yellow"

There you will see your saves. Using this you can download the new save that I mentioned. I did get a popup tab that I was able to close which didn't cause any issues. I would recommend you use an adblocker just in case. If you don't trust it or feel unsafe, then maybe this method isn't the one you want to try. The file is completely fine though, I downloaded it at my own risk and everything's okay.

Once downloaded, open your downloads folder in a small window and have the save location from before also open. Either copy paste the new save file in or drag the new one from the downloads folder to the save folder.

Replace the old file with the new one when your computer asks. If you want to save your old file just in case you can make a copy by right clicking and copying the file, then pasting it to a different location.

There is another method Reddit suggested where you edit a kill counter but I couldn't figure it out for the life of me. I really hope nobody else ends up in my position and has to edit their save in this way.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Hey I’m a 23 year old superhero fan, is it wrong to say I found a lot of modern legacy characters from the 2010’s such as Miles Morales, Kamala Khan, Riri Williams as….boring?

Maybe i chemically mess up, but a lot of these legacy characters feel…safe I want to say? They never cause huge issues or conflicts themselves. Feel like 98% of the hero community easily accepts them and kisses their asses.

I’m been thinking making a Indian teen boy legacy character that becomes the Henry Ford to Tony Stark’s Thomas Edison.

Is something wrong with me? Idk, I just want something else besides the McDonald’s dc and marvel gives me.

Nah, there's nothing wrong with you. Comics just suck shit these days. Writing is all about presenting the right "representation", so minority characters are supposed to be liked by everyone because not liking them means you're racist, blah blah blah.

Remember that god awful Lady Thor comic where the bad guys were all spouting reddit-tier misogyny that sounded like it was ripped directly from a "and the whole bus clapped" tumblr post from 2013?

Comic book writing has gotten even worse since then.

If you want a recommendation for good comics, I'd suggest giving Eric July's The Rippaverse a try. It's a new comic universe built from the ground up to be like comics of old, where story and characters take center stage and politics and agenda pushing is left out completely.

There are already two comics out Isom #1 and Isom #2, written by Eric July, the latter of which is just wrapping up its pre-order campaign. They have three other books in the works too. Alphacore, written by Chuck Dixon who used to write The Punisher for Marvel and created the Batman villain Bane, and Yaira, written by The Soska Sisters, who make low budget horror movies and wrote a Black Widow series where Black Widow destroyed a child trafficking ring. Those will be released by the end of this year if all goes well. There's also an unannounced book also being written by Chuck Dixon that's probably going to be released next year, along with Isom #3.

You could also search the #IronAge tag on twitter. That has a lot of independent comics and other writing projects from people who don't like the modern woke comic industry and want to try and present something better than the current Marvel/DC/Image offerings.

[thesummerestsolstice]

Unwritten Fics game

I was tagged by @runawaymun to talk about all my as-of-yet unwritten fic ideas! I have many, many of them. Here are a few. Feel free to send me asks about any of them, or to tell me which ones you'd most like to read in the tags!

Earendil-drinks-the-Silmail-AU: see Tumblr post here. Elwing gives Earendil the Silmaril's light to try and heal him from an illness, and both he (and later E&E) now have the light of the Silmaril within them. This causes problems for the Oath of Feanor. Can't decide whether to make it serious and heartbreaking or extremely silly.

Immortal Elros AU: definitely need to post about this one. In which Elros sees the mortals who will become the people of Numenor, loves them, and decides the best way to help them is to be immortal, to protect their descendants and maintain their legacy long after they're gone. He becomes Numenor's beloved guardian, caring for it's people for centuries. This all goes pretty well until Tar-Mairon shows up on the island.

Faustian Bargain AU: when both Gil-Galad and Celebrimbor are captured during Eregion's fall, Elrond makes a dangerous deal with Sauron to get them back. In exchange for their release, Elrond offers to become Sauron's captive, and to help him in his efforts to reach the Void and free Morgoth. Elrond, of course, has other plans. So do the now-free (and incredibly worried) Gil Galad and Celebrimbor.

Unexpected Problems: see Tumblr posts here and here. All about the issues Elrond runs into in Valinor– from people debating about whether or not he counts as an Ainur to Noldor being scandalized that he only wears a couple pounds of jewelry. Also his repeated attempts to stop Galadriel and Bilbo from completely destroying Valinorian society.

The Love of a Parent: Elrond's parents continue to look out for him, whether from beyond the circles of the world or from the stars above. Probably largely outsider POV. A chance for more eldritchry.

On Estel: In which Earendil goes into the void, searching for Maeglin's lost spirit. Slight AU in the sense that it's very Maeglin sympathetic, and has him having a good familial relationship with Turgon, Idril, and Earendil.

Ten Little Soldier Boys: my take on who Finrod's faithful ten were, why they were so loyal, and the moments they each decided they would give anything to keep Finrod safe. OC heavy but very dear to my heart.

Misfits, Outcasts, and other Characters of Ill-Repute: a series of oneshots about the various people who end up in Rivendell and how they got there. Includes canon characters (Glorfindel, Erestor, Lindir, etc.) and some OCs (including an old Feanorian diehard and one of Thingol's bodyguards, and, of course, Garthaglir the Library Orc)

No pressure, but I'm going to second Runawaymun's tagging of @jaz-the-bard (I don't think they've done the game yet but I might've missed it on their blog)

[twotangledsisters]

I saw you post about people stealing your art through another friend. Have you thought about creating an art tag for your name that people could search up here on tumblr?

Hi, thanks so much for the advice!

I do have a tag/watermark that I started using after the first incident, and I put it on every drawing plus wips, or at least try to, I won't deny I do occasionally forget, it's pretty simple and kinda subtle:

Includes my wishes about reposting, as well as my tumblr and my Tiktok.

Less subtle is my signature and my username in all fanart!

However, even with these stuff in place, it doesn't really solve the issue about reposting people's artworks (reposting meaning download or copying an image and uploading again on the same or another site, this isn't the same as reblogs or even reposts on TikTok where it's more a share feature!).

Very few users take the time if they see art reposted on instagram or pinterest to look up the original artist.

Even on sites that DO credit the original artist, most people do not bother to click that link and give the original artist any attention.

And because accounts that repost art do not have to create anything, they can upload tons of stunning pieces a days and directly compete with the actual artists making it even harder for artists to get noticed.

Also, since most accounts doing this do not inform the original artist their doing this, an artist might have two comments on a piece of art and think it sucks because it reached so few people, while on another account that isn't there's, it's getting all the love and attention! (I have had this happen to me and seen it happen to others and I can tell you it HURTS).

Having a tag is super important, and I implore any artists who hasn't got one to make one because even if you think you're art isn't good enough to be stolen, I thought the same thing! Unfortunately I cannot stress enough that isn't a solution and it's super important artists continue to fight this theft by reporting accounts when they are stealing our art, and if everybody could just not support accounts that reupload art without permission, that would be great too.

Also, I know we have this discussion every other day in fandom but give the creatives in your fandom some love! Everybody loves seeing the beautiful art or reading their fave ship, but behind all of this is a person who spent a lot of time of love on that piece and deserves to know the impact it's having! ❤️

Also, again, huge thanks to the original asker for the advice! It's great advice, I went on a bit of a ramble cause I saw the chance to remind my audience of this matter which is one that is close and dear to my heart!

[tiffanylamps]

8 shows to get to know me  I was tagged by @b1uetrees! Thank you for tagging me, I hope you're having a brilliant day with the flowers! 🌷🌻

I actually found this kind of hard to do, 'cause there are so many shows out there and many that I love. But I think I've narrowed it down to shows that represent different parts of me or were influential to who I have become. Also, I'm assuming by "show" it means TV shows and not musicals.

1) Beyond Evil (2021) It's obvious. I'm not going to go into too much detail because a quick search on my tumblr and it becomes pretty clear what this story means to me. It's my favourite show- I think about it every day and have dedicated so many hours to it. It has changed me so profoundly and I feel like no matter how many times I view it, it still finds a way of enriching me. (Before BE, or BBE if you will, my tumblr was a pretty normal place and now, it's just a fanpage to this show lol). I'm so thankful that Netflix recommended this show to me. (for anyone who doesn't know: this is a really important, layered story that just makes any other mystery drama look silly in comparison)

2. Luther (2010) I'm sorry Shin Ha Kyun but the Korean version of Luther is rubbish in comparison. THIS SHOW! Oh my goodness, I love it so much. It was everything to me throughout my late teens and I'm super excited that there are more episodes on Netflix. Honestly, the storytelling and parallels!!! and the use of the colour red really opened my mind to how one can visually tell a story. (It may be time for a rewatch and get scared all over again).

3) Ted Lasso (2020) This is a new addition to my life. Back in 2021 when my partner wanted me to watch Ted Lasso, I outright refused because I didn't want to watch a TV show about football. BUT! But. But then the wonderful @loisroo kept hyping it up (rightfully so) and I decided to give it a go. I binged it at the beginning of this year and it was a beacon of hope during a difficult time. This story and its wonderful characters have reinforced so many life lessons that I tend to ignore. It helps me gain a better understanding of people and friendships, second chances and forgiveness, and when to ask for help. Ugh, it's beautiful and I'm so excited for season 3.

4) Merlin (2008) I mean... I've spoken about it many times so I won't go on and on. But I adore this show (yes, it's janky and awkward at times but that's part of its charm. Plus, Morgana did nothing wrong and I will always stand by that lol), it was the reason I started writing fanfiction. I- ughhhhhh. Yeah. It did a lot for me in my teens.

5) Fleabag (2016) WOMEN. WOMEN WRITERS. WOMEN WRITTEN TO BE FLAWED AND BROKEN AND WRONG BUT STILL HUMAN AND STILL LOVING AND STILL TRYING AND STILL WANTING THE BEST DEEP DOWN EVEN IF THEY DO THINGS THAT HURT THEMSELVES. "I THINK YOU KNOW HOW TO LOVE BETTER THAN ANY OF US, THAT'S WHY YOU FIND IT SO PAINFUL" "I LOVE YOU" "IT'LL PASS" just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

6) Skins (2007) Yes, it's cringy. Yes, it's kind of embarrassing for me to add it to this list. But this show really helped me throughout my teens. It showed teenagers being messy and making mistakes, hurting one another and themselves. It showcased mental health issues, poor relationships with parents, as well as focusing heavily on sexuality. Being a queer kid from a strict religious background, this show was important. And yes, it got really silly towards the end but there are still so many fantastic moments. It's not perfect but it doesn't have to be. Plus it gave me Dev Patel, which I am forever grateful for. (If anyone's interested, my favourite characters are Tony, Cook, and Katie. I love a troublemaker).

7) Chernobyl (2019) Yeah, I probably should have put Game of Thrones in this slot but I'm still mad about it, so Chernobyl will take its place. What can I say? It's one of the best TV shows ever made (thank you Johan Renck and Craig Mazin)

8) The Last of Us (2023) Yeah, I know. I can already hear people saying it's not even fully out yet and blahblahblah. Listen, this show is a form of therapy to me and I don't care. It's my favourite thing I've seen since Beyond Evil. (I may prefer it to the games..... 👀) (I'm happy this story exists. So thank you Neil Druckmann and Craig Mazin)

(Some honourable mentions: Fruits Basket, Killing Eve, The Tribe, The Pacific, Vincenzo, Scott & Bailey, Silks, annnnnnd idk, there are loads)

Thanks again!!! 😊

no pressure tags: @l-tyrell, @ettelwenailinon, @thoresque, @evil-moonlight, @fridayvelvet, @hanjuwonsupporter, @foolishmortal

[bramble-scramble]

Once again, I'm benting because I'm so fuckign stressed. Tumblr, and the internet as we know it could come crashing down so soon. Look up 'Google vs Gonzalez'. I'm going to cry. It's all going to be over...

Hey there! Sorry for the late answer, been a busy workday. I hope you're feeling better right now.

Honestly I am surprised I haven't heard of this, considering that yes, this has potential to reshape the internet, paticularly the way social media/search engines work, as they're all driven by algorithms.

(for those who don't know what we're talking about, I don't really have time right now to try and explain what I've learned from my research, but here's good coverage if you're up for it: https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2023/2/16/23582848/supreme-court-internet-section-230-terrorism-cases-gonzalez-google-twitter-taamneh )

Note what I said above: reshape, not destroy. The internet was able to evolve in a certain way because of the way laws were shaped early on, and if things change, then websites - and the humans who run and use them - would have to find other ways to communicate and share our works. And we would.

What I want you to consider to help you calm down, is that 1) the Supreme Court interprets laws as they are written, but does not make laws in itself. Our current Supreme Court sucks ass but they can always be overturned by actual new laws being passed. It looks to me like many questions about the legality of big tech, online algorithms, and the promotion of content are going to come to a head here, and if it didn't happen in this case it was probably due to happen sooner or later in US lawmaking, either in the Supreme Court or in Congress. They are considering a law that's 25 years old and was written when the internet was a much different place and worked very differently, and it's honestly kind of astounding it's held for so long with little relitigation. If society widely takes issue with the SC's interpretation of the law, new laws can be drafted.

2) As I mentioned above, if there's one thing humans are good at, it's adapting and overcoming. Having gotten used to the ability to communicate and make friends and share works with people all over the world, people wouldn't just roll over and give that up. If laws (or the interpretation of them) changed radically, things may end up looking different but we will still find ways to stay in touch with our friends and make new ones. To quote the girlie in my avatar, "we will rise above!"

3) There's a significant, I would even say most likely, chance that nothing changes at all, as the Supreme Court upholds the status quo.

4) Even if the "worst case scenario" happens- I have to admit the plaintiffs have a point, and that algorithmically-served content CAN cause people to fall down rabbit holes of bigotry and extremism... it's definitely a big problem. So a case like this may be what is needed to shake up the internet, and evolve it toward a healthier place (in tandem with what I discussed in point 2).

5) I'm not sure but I think this would only affect companies operating in the US? Which is most big tech companies, but ones in other countries can take over perhaps? I know certain other countries have their own downsides like more stringent libel laws, but there's gotta be some ideal place to host services.

I'm no legal scholar but I hope this helps you feel a little bit better! Mostly we'll have to just wait and see what happens, but again: we'll be here for each other, we'll figure it out together, and we will rise above!

[kwritingbooks]

co-written by me & @shroombloomm

read on wattpad or catch up with tumblr masterlist

Aurora waking up to the realization of what all happened the day before wasn’t exactly the best way to start her morning, but what welcomes her afterwards seems a bit more enticing. Hopefully she wouldn’t take something like that for granted. Right?

AU: star-being!harry x astronomy-student!aurora

AURORA’S POV

The heaviness of my eyelids peaked open, revealing the new morning light encompassing itself throughout the room. Everything looked just as it normally did, minus a clothing item or two that I had lazily slung across the room at some other time.

Everything was normal until I realized that it wasn't. At least not after last night. But, that wasn't the initial shock of realization I had that morning. The issue at the forefront of my newly awakening mind was the fact that there was an empty space beside me on the bed. The indentions of his previously laid body were still evident as I sat up.

The way our pinkies intertwined with one another's throughout the night looped in my mind as I stared at his empty side of the bed. I even recalled waking up in the middle of our slumber to not having moved from the original placement we had fallen asleep in. Maybe that was why I was slightly taken aback upon waking up, I expected us to still have not moved.

I at least hoped he was still here and hadn't gone home yet.

My hand reached up to my face as I rubbed the residual sleepiness out of my eyes. There was still a slight pain in my neck, and I was scared that there was going to be marks. The last thing I needed was to go back on campus with bruises etched all along my throat. I didn't need anyone asking questions over it. I couldn't risk Harry's safety any more than it already had been.

Only now did I realize how much was at stake and how easily life could stop at any moment. No longer did these scenarios feel like a movie plotline or some mystical fairytale. This was real life, and real life had consequences if you didn't make the one right move you needed to. I had to be digilant.

I heard a bark in the distance and my eyes immediately opened wide.

"Astro!" I excitedly said aloud, throwing the covers off my body.

She sat near the bedroom door, her tail wagging vigorously at it. She kept exchanging looks between myself and the door, as if whatever was behind the hunk of wood was more interesting than me.

I laughed as I patted her back. "What could be so important, hm?"

As I swung the door open, the waft of what must have gotten her excited came in. I furrowed my brows as I stuck my nose in the air, trying to decipher what I was smelling. Astro didn't seem to care what it was, because she immediately ran right past to get to the source. I walked slowly after her, still not totally sure if what I was smelling was cause for alarm or excitement.

I knew I was hungry, but depending on what was going on right around the corner, I wasn't sure if it would be much help or not. It was definitely food related and something was definitely burning, but there was still a sweet smell that tried to break through the burnt scent.

The wreckage of last night was still scattered along the living room, with different pieces of furniture either knocked down or involuntarily moved in the process of the fight. The scene I was looking at almost made me want to go hide back in my room, suddenly worried that another light guardian had broken in and started burning my food for some reason.

That worry didn't last long when suddenly I heard a faint, disgruntled voice in the background.

"Can you slow down?" Harry groaned in an exasperated breath.

I rounded the corner, my curiosity completely piqued now. I hoped it wasn't Astro giving him a hard time. She was known for her sporadic bursts of energy. It could overwhelm just about anyone.

"Wait! Hold on– I'm not done yet!" He blurted.

My head peeked inside as I entered, searching around the room. His back was turned to me, but I could see a little bow tied around his waist from my old kitchen apron. It was white with pink and yellow embroidered flowers in it. The little lace details paired nicely against his skin as he anxiously whisked away at the batter in the bowl. Little pieces flew out in different directions while one hand spun and another was flicking through something on his phone.

"Hello?" He stopped mixing, allowing the bowl to clatter back down on the counter as he used both hands to tap away on his screen. His nose was practically up against the glass as he peered closely at it, waving his hand. "Hello?"

A plate of pancakes–or what I assumed to be pancakes–were stacked on top in one huge pile on the other side of the counter. Each one was a varying shade of brown, with an occasional black one. I was almost sure if I bit into it, it would crumble at the touch. Most looked edible though. It seemed to get better as the pile grew higher.

"How does Aurora like these things? I hate cell phones." He mumbled under his breath, pushing it out of his way as he poured more pancake batter into the pan. Steam rushed upwards and I watched Harry as he swatted away the cloud, seeming annoyed by it all.

A giggle escaped my mouth as I continued to watch everything happen. He seemed so flustered, but so determined at the same time. I wondered how long he had been doing this already. Considering the amount of cakes that had already stacked up, I had to say it was probably longer than he would have liked to admit.

It was cute, though.

"Harry?" I spoke up with a small smile, crossing my arms across my chest.

He spun sharply around, a look of fright expressed on his face. My smile grew wider. Somehow that was most endearing of all. He must have even forgotten I was sleeping here to begin with.

"Oh! Aurora. I didn't mean to wake you up. I wanted to surprise you, but this lady on the phone is the least bit helpful." He huffed, pointing a thumb covered in batter towards the device behind him.

I laughed again as I walked forward. "What lady on the phone?" My eyes locked on it, another dollop of batter had adorned itself on the screen. If it wasn't for the fact that it was so endearing, and my house wasn't already trashed from yesterday, I might have been annoyed by the mess. But, I couldn't, no matter how hard I wanted to.

"I don't know. Some lady on YouTube? I told that lady Siri you told me about to help me make pancakes and she pulled up a video, but this YouTube lady just ignores me! I keep asking her to slow down and she won't! She just keeps going and going and g–"

"Harry!" I chuckled, picking his phone up to reveal the video he was watching. "YouTube is just a video. She can't hear you." I handed it back to him after wiping off the mess from the screen. He drew his eyebrows downwards, a look of confusion directed towards the phone.

"But you and Nina video all the time?" He crooked his head to the side, peering closely at the hunk of metal held in his palm. "And she replies back when you ask her questions." He looked back at me with a hand on his hip.

"That's a FaceTime call. It's like a regular phone call but like with a live view on their camera. YouTube is already a recorded video from the past, okay?" I smiled at him reassuringly and nodded my head towards the stove behind him. "But that lady would probably want you to flip those pancakes soon unless you wanna learn what fire alarms sound like this early in the morning."

His eyes widened momentarily and he spun back around, flipping it immediately. I let out a soft chuckle as I made my way towards the counter. I picked up the pancakes, sifting through the burnt ones and throwing them in the trash while he wasn't looking.

I peered over to him out of the corner of my eye, noticing the small black clip that I was familiar with, which was currently busy holding his bangs back. I pursed my lips, adjusting to face him as I leaned against the counter.

"Is that my hair clip?" I asked, tilting my head.

"Hair cli–" Harry repeated to himself as he placed the pancakes onto the plate. "Ah, the clip in my hair? Yes, I found it in your restroom this morning. I hope you don't mind. My hair is a bit...longer than I would like it to be. It tickles sometimes."

I breathed out a chuckle, pushing myself off the counter as I turned towards the cabinet. I might as well have been useful for something, so I reached above in order to start getting extra plates out for us.

"Do you need a cut soon?" I placed the dishes down beside him, letting Harry put the non-burnt pancakes onto the plate. "I have a good hair stylist downtown. I could take you there sometime."

"A cut? Does it hurt?" Harry frowned as he pulled out the forks, placing them onto the plates. "It sounds like it hurts."

"It doesn't hurt, I promise." I smiled at him as I glanced over. "It's just hair. It doesn't hurt to cut it. See, watch–" I paused for a second, disregarding the increasingly perplexed expression on his face only a few feet away.

I opened a couple different drawers, closing them promptly after not seeing what I was on the hunt for. After another try of scouring the area, finally the kitchen scissors met my eye as they beamed excitingly at them.

With one swift movement, I spun around with a pair of kitchen scissors in hand and a small bit of hair held tightly in another. One of his eyebrows was raised with another furrowed.

"Aurora...What are you doing?" Harry sputtered out in a question. It looked like he wanted to reach for the scissors to take them away, but was too scared himself to touch something so sharp.

Clip.

"See?" I sat the scissors down and extended an open hand in front of him. Little fragments of hair that were previously attached to my head sprinkled along my palm, some flying away from the fan blowing. He watched in horror, wincing at the thought of pain that I could have gone through from it.

"That didn't hurt? You cut part of yourself off!" He exclaimed wide-eyed, examining a singular strand of hair between his fingers now. He watched it as it flew away, disappearing within a fraction of a second.

"No, Harry." I laughed. "It didn't hurt, and it'll even grow back."

"Oh." He flashed a small smile, but he still looked mildly uncomfortable. "Okay." He nodded.

I wasn't totally sure he actually believed me, but if I heard that for the first time I might have looked at the other person like they were crazy too.

We grabbed our plates and made our way towards the table. It wasn't a full dining table. I never got one because I never had anybody over. It was just a small table with two mixmatched chairs that I had bought from the flea-market. It was close enough to a dining table. I always thought it gave it some personality, too.

I poured the syrup all along my pancakes. I didn't notice how hungry I was until I sat down with food in front of me. I usually never had much of an appetite in the mornings, but there was something about having pancakes that seemed very soothing. It was like a comfort thing, especially after last night.

I looked from my plate to see Harry's brows pinched together tightly in confusion at the syrup on the pancakes. He had the bottle in his hand, peering at it in curiosity before he drowned his in the sugary topping as well.

"That's enough!" I gaped, taking the bottle from his hands with a small chuckle. "That's–that's a lot. You're gonna have a sugar rush."

"Sorry, I just–I didn't know how much to put on there." He laughed nervously, taking the fork into his hand as he looked down at his breakfast. "So how does one eat–pancakes?"

"You just cut them up into small pieces." I showed him as I used the side of my fork to cut through the spongy food, then put it into my mouth with a hum. It was actually really good. It made me feel a lot better, just tasting the sweetness of it all.

Harry watched in awe, then did the same thing with his fork and began to eat through the small stack on his plate. He struggled momentarily until he figured out the right amount of force to apply to the cutlery. It was almost like watching someone use their hands for the first time. Basically, it was entertaining to say the least.

"So...what happens if you eat? Does it hurt? Does it do anything?" I fired off questions at him. He had never really told me about his eating habits, or how he processed it.

"Well." He swallowed his food, rubbing his mouth with a napkin as he let out a soft breath. "In my human form, we process it the same. I don't really have to eat, it doesn't really do anything for me. I can still taste the food, but I never crave it or need it. I get my energy source elsewhere."

"That's–interesting." I nodded, taking another bite of my food. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Harry was this star-being and not a human like he looked. It was so weird given that he talked, walked, looked and, well, somewhat acted like a human. Little did I know beforehand that he could transform into something so beautiful– with purple skin and a glowing ambience around him.

I had even wondered if there were other star-beings that I had run into that I didn't know were from a different planet, too. It was crazy to think about. There were so many possibilities. I was sure it didn't start or stop with beings like Harry. There had to be multitudes of beings that came in all shapes and forms.

"You know, I don't think you've ever told me how old you really are. I'm assuming you're not as old as you look." I mumbled, glancing towards him. Harry continued to eat, chewing and swallowing down the thick cakes. He stilled for a moment, peering towards the wall before he cracked a smile.

"I'm old." He said with a chuckle. "I am very old. Well, to humans. In my star-form, I am actually very young compared to others."

"Everyone is young, or old, compared to others." I retorted with a snort. "Tell me, how old are you really?"

"I am, uh..." He cleared his throat, pushing the empty plate away. "I am two thousand years old back home."

"Two thousand?" I gaped, looking over him in shock. I hadn't thought about how he could have been way older. It never crossed my mind. He didn't even look that age, even in his star form.

"Don't make me sound old, Aurora, jeez." Harry slightly pouted. "It's really not that old. We age differently where I'm from."

"Well, apparently." I joked with a snort.

I piled another mouthful of pancakes into my mouth, peering up at him as I watched him do the same. He always seemed like he was in his own little world. Everything was beautiful and interesting to him, even things I had seen a million times before– or tasted a million times before. It made me wonder what exactly it was that was normal for him.

Just from the small taste of it I had gotten thus far told me that it probably would shock me even more than he was shocked about Earthly things. The thought alone made me set my fork down, no longer interested in eating anything else. An uncomfortable feeling nestled itself in the pit of my stomach as I considered the dangerous possibilities of what my future could include.

"Harry?" My voice softly spoke as I gazed up at him. He had already ventured off to the kitchen sink, rinsing off his syrupy remnants left on the plate.

"Yes?" He called out, placing it gingerly into the water to soak. Little suds of soap sprinkled along his arms as he walked back over to the table.

"How do I know I'm going to be safe? What would have happened if you didn't come when you did? What if it happens again and you don't make it in time?" I asked shakily.

My head hung low as I fidgeted with my hands in my lap. I had never felt unsafe in a place I lived before, mostly because I was taught how to protect myself if a situation arose. But what could I do about a being that could make my dog sleep with a snap of his fingers, possibly even end my life that easily, too?

"I'll protect you, Aurora. It's my job, remember?" He crooked his head lower to try and match our eyes together. I fought the urge to look up, knowing it would only make me that much more nervous.

"I know, but what if you can't?" The glumness of my tone was depressing all in itself– even for me. "I'm not saying you won't try your best or you're not capable, I'm only saying that the future can't be predicted. Who knows what could happen?"

I glanced upwards, almost instantly regretting it when I saw the look on his face. He looked upset and a little hurt from the realization. It was as if this was the first time he considered that he might not be able to know exactly when I needed him.

It was silent for a few moments as we both sat there in our respective seats across from each other. I heard Astro sigh as she laid on the floor next to my feet. I had half the heart to sigh with her, overcome with the reality my life now was subjected to. Not that I even knew what all that entirely meant just yet. That was the scary part.

What was to come?

All of a sudden, Harry jumped from his chair, causing a scraping noise from the scratching against the tile. Before I could even ask him what he was doing, or where he was going, he had already disappeared from the kitchen. Astro had perked her head up, but she looked too tired to chase after him. She must have worn herself out from all the begging she did for Harry's pancakes.

I waited patiently, tapping away on my knee with my fingers. I tried to listen for any clues on what he was searching for. A few moments later, Harry reappears through the entryway, with something hidden in both of his hands.

I immediately scooted away, in fear that he was carrying something alive behind those fingers.

"Harry, what is that?" I cautiously asked, giving him another confused expression as I look back and forth from him to his hands.

He opened his palm, showcasing some kind of circular gadget inside. My eyebrows furrowed as I stepped forward slowly, ready to sprint away at a moment's notice.

"It's an amulet. See the moonstones and how they sparkle?" He extended his arm outwards, offering me to hold it. "This can help protect you from light guardians."

I stood inches away from the object, still perplexed by the look of it. The stones wrapping around the metal was beautiful. It looked like it was custom made by some kind of wizard that had all the tools one could ever need in the world– in the galaxy. I could hardly believe that it was real to begin with.

I reached for it, twirling it around in my hand. It felt cool to the touch, the rough details rubbing amongst the pads of my fingers. I gripped it tightly in my palm, trying to soak it all in and how it felt. It was definitely real, whatever it was.

"How does it work? Do I just wear it or..." I trailed off, now dangling it in front of my eyes. It sparkled against the sunlight that peeked in through the kitchen window. I could even see it sparkle back into Harry's eyes as he watched me explore the workings of it.

He reached his hand out. "May I show you?" He asked kindly. I nodded my head, placing it gingerly back into his grasp.

"It opens like this." He paused as he pushed against the sides, allowing it to immediately spring open to an even more intricate object than before. Light reflected against it, leaving a beam of light to flash against the wall in the opposite direction.

"They only come out during the day, so you just need to have a source of light in order for it to reflect. Each light guardian has a marking, or a tattoo as you people call it, and it'll reflect against it. This will tell you if it's one of them or not. It'll also stun them, allowing you time to run away or make your next move." He closed it back into his palm, the light quickly dissolving with it. He handed it back to me while I continued to stare at him like I had just seen a ghost.

It wasn't that I couldn't believe something like a light reflection amulet could exist, it was the why it existed that was baffling to me. Any minute now I should've woken up from this dream, reminding me that there really was no way that something like this could be happening. Let alone happening to someone like me.

"Okay." I nodded, tucking it safely into my pocket. "I'll keep it with me."

His lips curled in a satisfied grin. "Good. When I go back home, I'll bring back a book about you so maybe that'll help understand everything more. Okay?"

I grew excited. "Wait, you guys have books, too?"

He threw his head back in a laugh. "Why, yes, Aurora. We have books. While they are Earth's fairytale books, they are our historical books. We read them to understand our deep history that expands way past any information of your planet."

"Can you bring me some? I would love to read them." I smiled wide, clasping my hands together in front of me in a fit of excitement. I couldn't help but get carried away with the idea.

His face didn't quite match up with the expression on mine, though. He even let out a small sigh. "I think that would be too risky. Let's just start with what you need to know, okay?"

"Okay, I understand. Thank you, Harry." I smiled, reaching a hand towards him. I wanted to pull him in for a hug, but I refrained against it for some reason. It was almost like I was too nervous to go through with it. It confused me considering I was not the type to get flustered or nervous around guys. But this was Harry, and he wasn't just some guy either.

"Speaking of, I will have to leave tomorrow, Aurora. I've got to recharge and talk to my father about what's happened. He's probably not going to be very happy, but I have to do it." He sighed again and bit at his lip before looking back at me.

"Wait, who's going to protect me while you're gone? Wouldn't this be the perfect time for them to attack?" My voice raised an octave as I nervously began to pace back and forth.

I clutched tightly at the amulet in my pocket. It was better to have this on me, but I didn't feel ready to tackle the world all by myself. Not yet just after the invasion where I almost died. I wasn't ready. I couldn't be.

"You're going to be okay. We can watch you from the stars. You're safe. I'll send someone down if I need to. Just use your amulet and what you know. Don't do anything super risky. Maybe you could stay with Nina until I'm back." He said as he walked towards me. He rested one of his hands on my arm and I quickly stopped pacing, looking up at him as he stared at me. His touch seemed to calm me down subtly, no longer feeling the urge to jump out of my skin and hide forever.

I nodded my head. "Okay, Harry. I trust you. I'll call Nina."

I showed up at Nina's around seven o'clock with a bag of clothes and Astro. I didn't want to push myself onto Harry; he already had a lot on his plate and I didn't want to invite myself to stay with him. He had already done so much for me and I didn't want to take advantage of that. He provided me with something to keep me safe and I trusted him that it would. I had to trust him for any of this to work. Hopefully, I wouldn't ever have to use it, but I also wasn't completely naive either.

Nina was nice enough to let me stay with her until we could get my door fixed and maybe a better lock. It made me nervous thinking about staying at home, but there was no way that they would be able to find me here at Nina's. At least that was what I hoped.

I still hadn't a clue how they even found where I lived before. I could only guess that they had followed Harry back to my house and that was how they knew. Other than that, I didn't really have a lot of answers towards the situation.

"Hey, bestie." Nina smiled wide as she opened the front door, stepping to the side to let me in.

"Hey, thanks so much for letting me stay. I can't believe there's a–rat infestation at my apartment. Crazy, right?" I chuckled nervously as I walked into the apartment. Astro ran in from behind me, immediately making her way towards the couch to lay beside.

I couldn't tell Nina what was going on. I didn't want her to get dragged into the mix. Plus, I had promised Harry I wouldn't tell anybody. If he wanted Nina to know, then he would tell her. Until then, I basically had to lie to her, which I didn't want to do, but I had to. I had never lied to Nina before in our entire friendship. It made my skin crawl and I hated it.

"Yeah, your landlord needs to get their shit together." She said in disgust, closing the door with her foot. She made her way into the kitchen, and I heard glasses clinking together along with liquid being poured. I knew what that sound meant.

"They are taking care of the problem. Should only take a few days." I said as I laid onto the couch in the same spot I had always taken. Nina's apartment was so cute. Way cuter than mine. I had envied her on that aspect of things.

She had tapestries pinned up all around her apartment with fake vines hanging from the ceiling. An adornment of cozy lighting hung from it as well, some vines intertwining with the cords harmoniously. Decorative pillows, small cozy circle chairs, and a therapeutic sand garden sat in their respective places, only drawing me into the relaxing ambience even more. Plants that were in random places, and a large bookshelf that left no more room–not even for one book–were the cherries on top. She had definitely put a lot of money into making her home feel like her home.

I envied it.

"Well, it feels like I haven't seen you in days." Nina pouted as she walked into the room with two glasses of mysterious liquid. And by mysterious, I meant alcohol. Her specialty.

"It has been a while, hasn't it?" I half laughed as I took the mixed drink from her hand. "I've just been so busy with–"

"With Harry." Nina nudged my arm, a smirk spread across her lips before taking a sip of her drink. "Just admit it, you two like each other. Jeez. It doesn't take rocket science to see that."

"What? God, Nina." I nearly choked on my drink, holding a hand under my chin as I launched myself forward. I shook my head, passing a half laugh. "You're insane, that's what you are. I don't like Harry. He's just a good friend, that's all."

"Good friend? Sure." Nina rolled her eyes, scoffing. "I see the way you two look at one another. You two are totally into each other. I was just telling Ryan about it too and he agrees."

"Ryan has never even met Harry." I scoffed with an eye roll. "You two are insufferable."

"Ryan will be meeting Harry. Tomorrow. The party, remember?" Nina hummed softly as she turned her body towards the TV. She had RuPaul on again, but I couldn't complain. This was our TV show we watched together every time I came over.

"The party–?" I stopped myself, pinching my eyes shut for a moment as I sighed. "Shit, the party–Nina, I really don't think we should bring Harry to that party. I just don't think he would...like it. You saw how the last one went."

I had to be careful with my wordings around Nina. It wasn't necessarily that Harry wouldn't like it, but it was more that I was worried about him being around our group. We had started this new tradition where we had a party whenever the seasons changed for the equinox. We did it during the spring time and it was a lot of fun.

I was just worried that Harry wouldn't like it because sometimes my friends could be a bit too much. It was one thing for other people to be blubbering idiots, but we were idiots in our own way.

I just wasn't sure if Harry would...get it.

I suppose it was fear of him getting, or feeling, left out. That was all. Plus, I didn't want to accidentally overwhelm him.

"Harry already said he would come." Nina stopped me, turning herself in my direction. "He told me himself."

"He did?" I contorted my face in confusion. "When did you see him?"

"I saw him at the library the other day. He said he would come." She shrugged, giving me a once over. "He was just–studying, that was all."

"Oh..." I pursed my lips, looking down into my drink.

It was okay. Really. I guess I did feel slightly weird about it, but I suppose I had forgotten for a mere moment that Harry had a life outside of me and the war. He had school, too. At that, he also enjoyed reading and studying. That was one of the first things I had learned about him.

I normally studied a lot more, too. But, recently, I guess I had been caught up with...other pressing matters.

"You know what we should do?" Nina said as she watched me pout to myself. She sat her drink down as she stood to her feet, stretching her arms out. "We should go to the bar. Just me and you. Let's just drink and–not care about anything for the night. How's that sound?"

I chuckled at her as I shook my head at the idea. It had been a while since I went to the bar, or properly got drunk. I suppose one night wouldn't be too bad.

"Sure, okay." I said meekly.

"Yes! Okay, we are gonna look really hot and get free drinks–but just don't tell Ryan." She giggled as she locked arms with me, pulling me to stand with her. I rolled my eyes as my feet followed her into the bedroom.

This was going to be a long night.

We got to the bar around nine o'clock. It took forever for Nina to get ready, but I was ready in minutes. She was always obsessed over her makeup, or which flowers she wanted to put into her hair for the night.

She decided on a set of red ones, pairing them with a beautiful tight red dress and heels. I, on the other hand, went with a short black skirt with a cropped button up that hugged my body just right. My chunky black Doc Marten boots were the perfect match for what I was going for.

We truly were a different pair, but in the best way possible. It was how it always was. If you looked at us and didn't know us beforehand, you probably wouldn't suppose we would be friends.

We had two completely personalities, but Nina always helped me get out of my shell if I felt like I was stuck in a rut. She was an amazing friend in that sense. Without her, I probably would have stayed holed up in my room when I first moved here, never to break out of my previous sense of comfort.

There were cars littering the parking lot, though I wasn't surprised for a Friday night. It was always so busy on weekends. I had pushed through my anxiety that rose inside of me as we walked through the doors, the music immediately vibrating through my body.

Taking a deep breath, I linked arms with Nina and walked straight to the bar where we sat down on the stools. This bar always reeked of cigarettes and whisky. I didn't quite know why Nina liked going here, but I could only guess that it was because the drinks were so cheap.

"Two tequila shots, make it doubles." Nina said over the loud music, gesturing her hand with a smile that sank into her cheeks.

"Starting off strong, yeah?" I taunted her, resting my hand onto my cheek while my elbow propped against the bar.

"Always." She smirked.

I looked around the bar, noticing the college kids near the back that were goofing off with pool sticks. Some were sitting on the sidelines, chugging down beer like neanderthals and others were hitting each other with the pool weapons. I rolled my eyes as I watched the bartender walk over to scold them.

It was a disaster.

"Searching for someone?" Nina nudged me back to reality.

"I just don't get how guys can be so stupid." I said plainly, shaking my head as I grabbed the shot that was placed in front of us. "They just–do dumb shit all the time. It's quite...interesting to watch."

"You shouldn't be surprised." She said right before downing the double shot. I could never get over how easily she could take shots without choking.

But, all I could do was try to be half as good as her.

So.

Bottoms up.

I let out a loud gasp after taking the shot. My eyes rolled back, placing a hand over my mouth as I hissed. I would never get used to downing hard liquor that quickly. I could already feel the effects of it kick in, but I wasn't surprised. I had only eaten pancakes this morning and not much else. All the stress and anxiety had really eaten away at my appetite.

No pun intended.

"You know, Ryan is so much different." Nina spoke as she peered at the guys next to the pool table. "I'm really glad that Ryan isn't stupid like those guys over there. He is really dedicated to school, and not only that, but he's a computer engineer too. It's really impressive."

"Computer engineer? I didn't expect that of him." I cackled. "I thought he was just some Alpha O'mega–whatever the fuck. Those frat boys. You know how they are."

"I mean, he's definitely a frat boy, but he's different from the rest. He takes school seriously. I like that about him." She hummed, swaying her body on the chair to the music.

All of this talk had made me think of Harry again. About how he took his school seriously, too. He wasn't quite like any guy I had met either–well, star-being? Thing? I didn't know what to call him. But he was different.

Right off the bat, we got along. It may have taken me a second to warm up to him, but I understand why he was like that now. The night that we laid underneath the stars and he told me stories of the Greeks' forbidden love. Or the night when he talked about the orion belt. The pure passion oozing from him sucked me in. I couldn't lie.

We just had so much in common, I couldn't help but feel something towards him. I didn't know quite yet what that something was, but it was definitely something for sure.

"Hello? Earth to Aurora? Take this shot with me!" Nina whined, pushing the double shot right in front of me, allowing the alcohol to lightly drip onto the counter. I shook my head, letting out a soft sigh as I felt the burning liquid rush down my throat once more.

The burning eased slightly, but not as much as I would have liked it to. I had to get drunk to fully relinquish the burn of each shot. More so now, if I was going to keep shooting alcohol down like this.

"Thinking about Harry?" Nina brought her attention back to me with a knowing look. "Girl, I'm telling you, if you have feelings for him–"

"Nina, I don't have feelings for Harry!" I said, more annoyed this time.

I hated when people picked me apart like that. My mom already did that to me earlier, insisting on me bringing someone home for the holidays. I didn't know why, but it just felt like people were putting expectations on me and I hated it. I hated the way it made me feel.

"Who's Harry?" A husky voice came from behind me, nearly startling me out of my chair.

I turned my body around just to see Brandon standing from behind me. I gave him a look over, pursing my lips as I let out a relieved sigh. At least it was someone I knew.

Although, the last time I saw Brandon was at that frat party and Harry did not like him at all. I didn't blame him, though. Sometimes Brandon just came on really strong and that was just the kind of person he was.

He was also kind of a dick for that reason, though, too. We had slept together once and he kept blowing my phone up ever since. I was never a person to sleep with the same person more than once, especially if they were constantly texting me and asking me when it was going to happen next. I got overwhelmed easily by it. Like I said, I hated living up to other's expectations of myself.

It wasn't that Brandon was terrible in bed or anything. He was moderate. Just okay. Enough to get me off, but that was it.

"Brandon, don't you have beer cans to smash against your head or something?" Nina scoffed, rolling her eyes in disgust.

Nina wasn't a big fan of Brandon. Mainly because he was one of the idiots that ran with the crowd over by the pool table. They were always constantly partying, which wasn't a terrible thing, but it was just the stupid shit they did while they were partying.

"It's nice to see you too, Nina." Brandon nodded towards her with his lips pressed tightly together.

I turned my body back to the bar, kind of hoping he would just walk away, but instead he took the empty bar stool next to me. I let out an annoyed breath, staring down at the shot that Nina had ordered for us again. At this rate, I was going to get plastered if she kept ordering them like this all night.

"Can I buy you a–" He started, watching me down it, but this time with more grace. That was my first sign that I was getting drunker by the minute. "—Drink..."

"No, thanks." I hissed out, rubbing the alcohol off with my wrist, shaking my head. Brandon was really the last person I wanted to see. The last time we hooked up, I really did have to have a couple drinks in me just to kiss him. Or to be near him, really.

He was pretty whenever he didn't open his mouth though. It was just when he talked that I wanted to cringe on the inside. Being around him sober was always out of the question.

"You can't avoid me forever. C'mon, Aurora." He pouted, nudging my arm. "I thought we had fun. Didn't you?"

I felt his hand rest on my lower back carefully, right above my ass. I shifted in my seat, lips parted as I gulped down thickly. I didn't miss Brandon, not in the slightest, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss being touched like this.

Something that I hadn't really felt in a while.

I hardly ever had sex. I wasn't the type to constantly crave it, plus I was drowning in school work. My dating life was non-existent.

But the way Brandon's fingers caressed against the lower of my back sparked something in me. I couldn't help but chuckle nervously while I felt my face heat up from the sudden tension in the air.

"I did..." I glanced over towards Nina out of the corner of my eye. "But I'm with my friend, as you can see."

Nina was staring daggers at me, then leaned over to send him a glare as well. I thought it was so funny how she was protective over me. It was like a momma lion looking over her cub. It was always impressive how she kept up that persona no matter how many drinks were coursing through her bloodstream.

"Alright, fine. Let me buy you one drink, at least." He raised his hand towards the bartender, gesturing towards the three of us sitting in a row.

"Fine. One drink, but that's it." I mumbled with a crooked smile. What could possibly go wrong with having just one more drink? I trusted Brandon. While he was annoying, he had never given me a reason to not trust him.

It originally really was only going to be one drink. But one drink turned into two, then four, then it got to the point where Brandon, Nina, and I were all gathered around the pool table with the frat boys while loud cheers surrounded us.

I was standing, barely, with a pint of beer in my hand and a boy I had only ever seen at parties beside me. We were having a chugging contest on who could get it down first. The beer just tasted like water to me at this point, and the cheers were only egging me on to chug faster.

I did always love a good contest.

With pinched eyes, I chugged the last of my beer, the liquid spilling down the corners of my mouth before slamming it down onto the pool table. The cheers grew louder with Nina clapping and screaming into my ear as she pulled me into her drunken arms, swaying me back and forth.

"You did it! You did it!" She slurred out, placing a hard kiss to my cheek. I knew she had to have left a very vivid lipstick stain right onto my skin. I was too drunk to mind regardless.

"I–" I burped out loudly, placing a hand over my mouth as I let out a laugh. "I did it."

I felt dizzy, but a good dizzy. My body felt light as a feather, my cheeks were hot and I just felt so happy in that moment.

I thought to myself, why haven't I been doing this more?

The stress of school and everything else that had been going on—it just slipped away the minute alcohol touched my lips. An invisible weight lifted off of my shoulders the more that I consumed.

Of course, not in a bad way, or a way that was a problem. But it was simply a temporary stress reliever. I hardly ever drank, but now I was wondering if I should drink with Nina more often. I had yet to feel so light on my feet, floating around the room like I belonged there. I belonged to be happy with everyone cheering around me in their own fits of laughter.

I was always so closed off with people, and it wasn't that I hated interacting. It was more so because I was always so caught up in my own world. Hearing people cheer for me, clap for me, and be happy for whatever reason—it filled me with an inexplicable amount of happiness. I did in fact feel happy to be around people. I didn't even care who it was. All I cared about was being in a room full of such whimsical energy. Maybe that was what I needed to exhaust more of my energy towards– feeling good.

"Who is this chick? She's cool as fuck." One of the guys next to me said.

"My name is Aurora, thanks!" I slurred out.

"That's my Aurora." Brandon said from beside me, wrapping his arm around my waist as he pulled me to him. I couldn't help but to melt into his arms. The alcohol had already gotten to my head, and not only that, but the 'terrible decisions' switch had already been flipped on three drinks ago.

The music vibrating through my body only seemed to ignite this impulsiveness I was feeling, my hips swaying to the beat as I closed my eyes. I had no thoughts. It was the first time in a while I had felt this amazing. I had no cares in the world at all. I just wanted to drink more and dance away the night. Nina was right when she said tonight would be great for me. This was beyond overdue.

"Do you, like, wanna dance or something?" I opened my eyes, gazing towards Brandon with a crooked smile. "You should dance with me!" I pleaded as I tugged onto his arm, pulling him towards the crowds of people dancing.

He didn't even hesitate as he let me guide him wherever we were going. I bumped through various bodies until I was content enough with our placement, immediately pulling him into my body. A devilish curl had twisted along his features as his hand tightened against my back, pulling against the fabric of my shirt. I giggled out, a feeling of euphoria now blowing through me as I relished in the simple feeling of touch. Something so little seemed so magnificent with the amount of drunkenness going on around me and inside of me.

Nothing in the world could have torn me down. There were no worries cycling their way through my thoughts. There was no one around that I cared to busy myself with besides Brandon, and Brandon was just the closest thing I could get to. It had nothing to do with him and everything to do with the need for a distraction from the world falling out from underneath me after these past couple of days.

As his hands continued to roam aggressively along my spine, I threw my head back with my eyes closed, biting back a smile as I swayed my hips. My arms flew up in the air, moving with the body in the same direction with each beat. All I could focus on was the music thumping through my feet all the way to the top of my head with hands guiding frantically along my skin.

It was like he was just as desperate to be close. This was so much better than sulking at home, worrying about what was behind doors or what waited for me in the future. Right here in this moment, it was just Brandon and I moving together.

Deep down I knew this wasn't a healthy way of going about things, but the funny thing about alcohol was that alcohol couldn't give less of a shit about the moral thing to do. It didn't care if you would regret it in the morning. It didn't care if it would hurt other people's feelings. If anything, it was solely there to create these issues for the sober version of yourself. Maybe that was why people tended to stray away from that side of themselves.

Regardless, my hands soon fell from the air to feel along his skin as well. His muscular arms were tight as I trailed my fingers down the length of them, pausing to stare up at him. His eyes watched me cautiously, like he didn't expect me to be doing anything of this. I didn't blame him considering I tended to keep my distance from him after our first hookup.

Maybe that was why it felt so good, too. I knew he wanted me and I liked that I had control over it. I was granting him access to feel along my ass, gripping periodically while his hooded eyes watched me closely. I liked the fact that I could stop at any moment and just walk away like nothing happened. I also liked the fact that if I wanted it to happen again, or even go further, I could. It was all up to me. I was in control. Not him.

I spun around, and he caught on quickly to my new movements as he grabbed hold of my hips. He pulled them further back, almost making me squeal from the abruptness. I softened against him when I realized his intentions. He wanted me to grind against him along to the music. I wasn't one to argue in this state of mind. If anything, I wanted to probably as much as he wanted me to.

So I did. Back and forth my ass pressed against his crotch, earning his mouth to hover closely against my neck. He mumbled something in my ear, but it was so loud around us and I could hardly focus that I couldn't understand what he said. Given the growth that I now felt against my ass, I had a feeling I knew what he was insinuating. It only gave me more confidence as I pushed my head backwards, raising one of my arms to cup against his face. Almost instinctively, he buried his face further into my neck. The warmth of his breath against the delicate area of skin on my throat sent chills up my spine.

The same type of chills I had felt not very long ago. The sudden memory of Harry and I dancing together broke through my whirlwind of thoughts about Brandon. My swaying no longer had as much vigor to it as my thoughts became clustered with my last dancing memory. Except, it was a completely different circumstance.

I couldn't help but compare the differences in everything that was going on. While I enjoyed the distraction that Brandon was allowing me in this state of impulsivity, his grip was hungry. Hungry was all it was. I knew he had no intentions of anything past that. He wanted me and what I could provide for him for the night. He was using me as much as I was using him, and I wasn't exactly sure if he was as aware of it as I was.

Even the look in his eye was full of lust. The way his eyes hooded over, only briefly taking a moment to actually look me in the eye in between scanning over my body. He was too concentrated on peering at the movements my hips made against him or the way my hand rubbed along his skin as I switched positions. That was all I was to him. He didn't actually see me. He didn't want to. He didn't care to.

But, Harry.

Dancing with Harry.

There was no urgency to the way he placed his hands on me, careful to not go any farther than I wanted him to. His reassuring "is this okay?" echoed in my brain as if he was there right in front of me. There was no pulling and tightening grips that left marks against my skin, only the soft tickles against my fingertips as he laced ours together.

His eyes had smiled back at me as bright as they always did, flickering with pleasantries. Nothing within his eyes arose any red flags or warning signs that I was unsafe. If anything, I had never felt safer being embraced by someone else. That was what he was to me. He wasn't hungry or desperate for a reward out of the contact we shared together. He was in it for mutual enjoyment.

He wanted me to be happy and comfortable, and I was. His touches didn't serve as a distraction from the world around me. His touches served as a reminder that the world could go on and I would be safe with him regardless.

That was the difference between Brandon and Harry.

I finally opened my eyes again, not even realizing that I had had them closed for that long. It was the calmest state I had been in since I walked inside the bar. I think I had started to imagine that we were back in the living room dancing to Harry's choice of music as he spun me around. What I would do to experience that right now instead of–

Harry.

Staring back at me were the eyes that I had just reminisced on so fondly moments ago, shining back at me as if they were only made for my view to see. This time, they seemed clouded with an expression I had yet to see from him. That was when I realized the predicament I was in and the predicament he had to witness me in more importantly.

I blinked hard, switching my gaze back to Brandon. Even through the blur of alcohol, I could still see the same look on his face as he looked down at me. He still didn't bother to look me in my eyes as he bit against his lip, pulling me in closer.

I no longer wanted to be this close to him. I felt too many eyes on me, even if it was just Harry. Those were the only eyes I cared about watching me, and I didn't like what he was seeing. He didn't look happy and I was too scared to look back over to see if he had walked away or if he was still looking at us.

Why did I feel so guilty?

The alcohol in my stomach felt weighed down by rocks all of a sudden. The stuffiness of the room felt suffocating and all I wanted was to be away all together. I wanted out of the building and away from everyone and everything.

I pressed my hands firmly against his chest, trying to allow room between us for me to squeeze through. He shook his head, scrunching his eyebrows as he peered down at me.

"What? Since when did Aurora want to stop having fun?" He joked lowly, a hint of lust still intertwined through his words. It made my stomach only turn more and I felt trapped. I pushed again, but my strength only seemed to dwindle due to the drunken state of mind I was in. I felt helpless.

"Let me go, Brandon." I slurred, but tried to sound as firm as possible.

"What, seriously?" He bit back in an annoyed tone. His sudden harshness grew my own irritation and the uncomfortable feeling was suddenly overshadowed with anger.

Somehow that anger mustered enough strength to push him harder, releasing me from his grasp.

"Fuck off." I snapped at him.

Just as I was about to turn around, my eyes caught something right behind him. Harry was no longer in the distance, but now within a few feet from us. I jumped slightly at the sight, stopping myself from tripping over my feet because of it.

"Harry." I said with a touch of shakiness. I stood there awkwardly, searching around the room for anything else to focus on. I didn't want to look in the direction of Brandon and I didn't want to look in the direction of Harry either. Both of wildly different reasons, but reasons nonetheless. I felt like I could be sick.

"Well would you look at who came back to save his damsel?" He spat towards Harry, an evil grin twisting out his words. "Except she's not in fucking distress. Get the hell out of here, you fucking cockblock."

I couldn't help but steer my eyes towards Harry in order to gauge his reaction. I wasn't sure how he would respond, but I knew I was too at a loss for anything to say myself. I knew I got myself into a situation that was going to be hard to get out of. The look of hurt brushing across his features would probably be permanently etched into my brain for as long as I lived.

"Aurora, let's go." He stood firmly and his tone mimicked his stance.

I had never been so intimidated by him. Maybe it had to do with the discomfort I was feeling in my stomach mixed with the overwhelming nature of everything going on. No matter where I looked I felt dizzy. Fixating my focus on Harry was the only thing that kept me from spilling out the contents of my stomach all over everyone near me.

I nodded my head, lowering it as I attempted to scoot past the man I had just unashamedly felt along in front of the huge crowd of people. I was still drunk and I was uncomfortably aware of that, but I was not as carefree about it as I had started. I could've sworn this incident had even begun to sober me up slightly. All I wanted was to be was home, sober, and in my bed as if none of this night had ever happened.

As I glided past Brandon, I felt his arm tighten around my bicep. I winced slightly, stumbling a little from the abrupt stop. I gazed down at the fingers that gripped so tightly against my skin that it was leaving indentions in it. Brandon had a look of pure anger enwrapped in his eyes and it made me cower at the sight due to the closeness that we now shared. This closeness was so much more terrifying. The initial hungry look had completely dissipated and exchanged with a different type of hunger–hunger for revenge and victory. Like I was his prize of the night that was being stolen away from him.

"Let her go." Harry rasped out, yet to move from his spot. His fists balled at his sides as he peered in his direction, careful not to break from his contact. "Now."

Surprisingly, he loosened his grip, but he didn't let go completely yet. I tried to nudge my arm out from his fingers, and eventually I slipped away. I rubbed at my arm, a look of disgust etched onto my face as I walked backwards away from him. I didn't dare keep my eyes off of him as I gathered back to Harry's side. I didn't even care that I was bumping into people in the process. Everyone was too drunk to give more than a quick glance before getting back to what they were doing before.

Brandon didn't seem to notice I had left his side, because he was too busy boring his eyes into Harry's. It was hard to keep myself steady, and I almost used Harry's shoulder to keep myself from falling, but I didn't want to touch anyone right now. I just wanted out of there. He didn't look like he wanted me to touch him either. I think that was the most painful part of it all.

"The fuck? Nah, I'm afraid she's coming home with me." He reached his hand out towards my waist, but Harry shoved his arm between Brandon and I, pushing me away from his grasp in one quick motion. I had to hold onto his forearm from falling over. I was fortunate he was there or else I wouldn't have escaped that easily.

"She's drunk. She's not going anywhere with you." He hissed. I had never heard Harry talk in that way and it took me off guard. I wasn't sure if it was exaggerated from my perspective due to the alcohol, but it couldn't have influenced it that much. The way he spoke made me even want to cower as if he was directing those words towards me.

"C'mon." Harry whispered as he placed a hand across my back, guiding me in the opposite direction of the angry man in front of us. "Let's get you home."

That was the most reassuring thing I had heard in the last few minutes. It was hard to relax too much from the words, given the look that had yet to evade from Harry's face. Even in my drunken demeanor, I could tell that something was wrong.

I wanted nothing more than to take that first step out into the fresh nighttime air. Maybe then I would finally come to my senses.

"So you're just going to leave again? You fuckin' serious, Aurora?" He shouted behind us. It began to sound muffled as we ventured further away, mixing in with the crowds of voices and music thumping together. "Whatever! Fuck you!"

I could feel tears well up into my eyes. Why did I do things like this? It was like I never learned from my mistakes. It was a constant cycle I found myself in. I would have something stressful happen, need a distraction, find a distraction in a person, and then regret it almost immediately after. It was why I tried to stray away from parties because I knew where that would often lead me.

I had healed a lot as I grew older, but this destructive tendency was the hardest to break from. Usually when I was in this frame of mind I didn't really care where I ended up afterwards. I would get over it by busying myself with someone else. I couldn't get hurt if I just refused to get close with anyone, constantly bouncing between new rushes of dopamine. I would eventually crash, and I would inevitably scathe people in the process, but unfortunately because of my refusal to grow attachments, I didn't care enough to stop.

Only this time did it sting like this. I really fucked up.

"Harry? Please say something." I slurred out, sniffling between my words. I wasn't sure when I had started crying; all I knew was that my cheeks suddenly felt wet and my words were sounding more scattered than they did beforehand.

I heard him sigh. His hand had remained behind me, slowly guiding me down the sidewalk as we walked the familiar dark pathway. Most nights I would have found this trail much more relaxing as I was accompanied by the night sky above with its twinkling stars. Now, I was practically with a star and felt more lonely than ever.

"Harry?" I whimpered again, turning my head to face him. He looked stern, peeking slightly out of the corner of his eye in my direction. It didn't last long before he continued to look ahead at the path in front of us.

His silence told me everything I needed to know. I hated the way I did this to myself, but I couldn't take back what I did. It was too late for that now.

I kept silently wishing that I could magically sober up so I could talk to him and explain myself. I knew from the look on his face, and the deafening silence, that he was upset. I just couldn't understand why. Was it jealousy? Was that why I was also upset?

My fingers wiped away at my moist cheeks, a shaky breath escaping my lips as Harry led me back to Nina's house. I was grateful that the walk was over. Knowing it was a ten minute walk, but it felt like hours. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide away for the rest of my life.

Harry pushed himself against the door, opening it as he walked in silently. He stopped at the door, turning towards me as he reached his hand out for me to take. I blinked hard, gazing towards him with red, drunken eyes.

I didn't deserve his kindness.

My fingers interlocked with his as he helped me up the two steps. In any other circumstance I would be able to do it on my own, but my vision was still slightly blurred from the amount of shots we had taken tonight.

I got up the stairs, only stumbling once, but Harry's grasp tightened around my hand and caught me before I could eat shit on the floor. I peered up at him, a frown carved deeply into my cheeks.

He barely even looked at me. He spared me a glance and that was it. I never thought that it would hurt so bad to have the Harry I used to know, change in demeanor so suddenly. It only made the tears well up along my waterline more, making my vision blurrier than it already was.

I pulled my hand away from him, rubbing my burning eyes with my wrists as I stumbled my way into Nina's room. I had never hoped for Harry to disappear, but tonight I was hoping that he would just leave so he wouldn't see how bad of a mess I was.

Because I was a mess. A drunk, sloppy, irresponsible mess of a person.

It took me sometime to get changed into sweats and a shirt, knowing Nina wouldn't mind that I borrowed some for the night. My body immediately felt more relaxed at the soft fabric that hung loosely against my body. There was always something so comforting changing into pajamas after being in skin tight clothes all night.

I walked out of Nina's bathroom that attached to her bedroom, nearly stumbling out with a sigh. My hand caught the walk, my head lowering down as I stared down at the floor. I was really taking in the mess I had created, and I knew that tomorrow I could only predict self-loathing for the next two weeks to consume me.

When I looked up from the floor, Harry's body leaned against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest tightly. I caught him giving me a look, but the minute our eyes met, he looked away towards the wall.

"You don't have to ignore me." I slurred out, running a hand through my thick hair as I stumbled my way towards the bed. I hated the silence. I hated it. I had always hated it. I could never stand it. I wanted him to say something.

Say anything. Even if it means hurting my feelings.

"Let's get you to bed." He said as he met me at the the foot of the bed, his hand grappling the blankets to pull them back for me. I looked towards him, which caused him to look away from me again.

This shit felt worse than being stabbed over and over again.

I placed my hands onto the bed, moving my body to crawl into it with a small huff. When I laid down, Harry pulled the blanket over my torso carefully. I couldn't bear to even look at him. It hurt too much. I knew I fucked up and there was nothing I could do about it.

I couldn't turn back time. I couldn't undo what I did. I had to deal with the irreversible consequences.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Harry turn away to leave. Panic set in. Real panic. My chest started to constrict, a shaky breath left me as I watched him walk away.

It had become so apparent that instead of wanting him to leave...

I desperately wanted him to stay.

I wanted to get on my knees and cry. Just cry and tell him how sorry I was. How I really was a mess deep down inside. It always looked like I had my shit together, but I didn't. I never really did.

I'm only human—I make mistakes.

I didn't remember leaning forward. I didn't remember grabbing for his hand. I didn't remember clenching it so hard that his bones could have shattered in my hands. I didn't even remember the stream of tears falling down my face.

I just remembered...

"Don't go." I croaked out, batting my swollen eyes up at his. On the inside, I was screaming at him to look at me. To say something. To hug me. To tell me that it was okay.

But it was far from what he did.

He looked down at me with saddened eyes, his lips parting as if he was going to say something. I had hope, I really did. He was going to tell me that it was okay and he wasn't upset with me. That he wasn't going to give me the silent treatment anymore. That I was safe with him.

But then...

"Thanks, Harry." Nina mumbled as she leaned against the doorway of the bedroom. My head snapped towards her, and within doing that, Harry let his hand slide from mine to hang by his sides.

I stared between the both of them as Harry walked towards her with ease. Like this was the easiest thing he had to do all night, just walk away from it all.

"Make sure she drinks water in the morning, just—" He stopped himself, clearing his throat into his fist before parting his lips. "Just text me if anything happens."

"Will do. Thanks again." She nodded towards him with a small smile. Before I knew it, he was gone. His body left as soon as it came. Quickly. And sadly, not slow enough.

I sunk back into the bed, closing my eyes tightly as a huff escaped me. I didn't know how I was going to pull myself out of the mess. The self-loathing had already started, unfortunately. But today was technically tomorrow as the clock struck midnight. Self-loathing was right on time.

"Brandon? Really?" Nina scoffed, shaking her head as she crawled into the bed with me. She laid down with a sigh, her head turned towards me as she examined my tear stained cheeks. "I'm not gonna give you shit tonight. Can't promise about tomorrow though."

"Gee, thanks." I slurred with a soft chuckle that came out sad. There was dread behind that small laugh. I was always so good at laughing things off, making them into jokes rather than actually dealing with them.

It was going to come back to bite me in the ass.

There was a long silence between us. I almost felt myself fall asleep, but for some reason my body was fighting the sleep that I desperately needed. I rolled onto my side towards her, seeing her staring at the ceiling with her hands over her chest.

Nina let out a small chuckle, shaking her head slowly before turning her head to glance in my direction. I scrunched my brows together. What was so funny? Did I miss the joke?

"When are you going to realize, Aurora?" She rasped out with a half smile, her brows pinched together as if she was giving me a look of confusion. I could tell she was disappointed in me. She didn't have to say it.

"Realize what?" I frowned.

I was too drunk to deal with her riddles tonight. Nina was always the queen of being so vague towards me at times.

"That's for you to figure out yourself."

NEXT UPDATE: 05/10/22

a/n: not us forgetting yesterday was tuesday and we forgot to update 😭 whoopsies <3 hope that the fact this was a long one makes up for it LOL

[kaija-rayne-author]

Finished the main game with my qunari. (Again, 3rd time, this series has me so hard.) I'm very ready for this run to be done.

The 'make Solas hate me' thing wasn't even remotely easy for me. Though, I gotta admit antagonizing him was fun for a while. 😅 I'm only playing Trespasser with this character, (not the other DLCs) because I'm having painful dysphoria issues with the curvier female qunari form.

There's a reason I usually play male elves. Skinny little twinks are pretty androgynous and don't bother my dysphoria so much. Even female elves don't bother me. They're all pretty androgynous. If only I were.

Plus pointed ears. My entire family has slightly pointed ears so it's just fun.

I actually only gave Sera a Romance chance because of a tumblr post I saw. I'm glad I did. It was the hardest Romance of all for me, but it’s actually really sweet and happy. Good brain chemicals.

As soon as I finish Trespasser to get angry Solas end lines, I'm going to take another run at modding Frostbite. (Seeing bitchy Solas in game was way more powerful for me than a YouTube watch would be.)

I've been modding games since modding became a thing, so it wasn't fun to realize how bloody difficult Frostbite is to mod.

But because I really want to play DA:I with some of the mods, and because DA:DW is built on Frostbite too, I gotta figure it out. It was mostly an ADHD patience/frustration thing, I think. I expected reasonable levels of difficulty in modding Frostbite and it is an absolute monster.

I'm actually tempted to play the whole series again since I'm almost done with reading the books and comics. They added so much depth to the games and characters that I'm curious about how it'll change my perception of them.

And I've heard there's art and references to 'The Dread Wolf' in all games. Curiousity absolutely gets me into trouble, frequently. 😅

It's how I ended up on the Solavellan Hell train. I knew who Solas was 'cause I'd already played DA:I, but I still did a Solavellan playthrough out of curiousity.

Being a writer/editor/literary analyst, I didn't truly think that Weekes would snag me, much less snag me so fucking hard!

So, yeah. A day or two, depending on how much time I have to game, to finish Trespasser, and then I'll be trying again to mod this beast of a game engine.

Once you're an insider in publishing, it becomes more and more difficult throughout the years for stories to capture you. I know all the tropes and can see where things are going so easily because I've been working professionally in this field for close to a decade.

Even with that, Weekes grabbed me by the heart then proceeded to rip my heart out. (He did it in Masked Empire too, great book.) Gotta love star crossed lovers. It's one of my very favourite tropes and I'm actually grateful that Weekes reached me. So little does anymore. And to think I got into this field after leaving STEM because I love to read 🤣, oh... sweet summer child.

Once I get it successfully modded, I'll decide on a full series replay (it would give me more to write about) or not.

Right now, I'm so stressed out by my job search that I'm clinging to DA as my only real stress relief. Usually special interests aren't this chronologically long lasting for me. I tend to cycle through them more quickly.

But with the job search being what it is, and my stress levels being through the roof, I'm just grateful this one hasn't abandoned me yet.

You really wouldn't think finding a decent job (something I'm good at, salary with good benefits, ideally remote because I'm more productive from my home office) would be so difficult, would you?

Anyway, enough of me jawing about DA for now. I need to make an online portfolio for my graphic design stuff. I've been doing it as long as I've been doing editing & literary critique (24 years), and writing for 33 years, but having an online portfolio hasn't ever been a priority because my clients have always found me by word of mouth.

Sigh. I'd rather be doing many other things. I just want a job I can be good at that I'm paid a living wage for that actually uses my skills and maybe pushes me a little to increase my abilities. One that doesn't require my autistic/ADHD ass to do social things because that's probably around the 7th layer of hell for me. Why is that so hard to find?

[gauntletqueen]

hii im super sorry if you've answered this before (tumblr's search function is. not being helpful), but what 3d modeling software do you use??/any tips for someone who wants to learn 3d modelling?? your work is super cool and i hope you have a restful and helpful hiatus!! thank you!!!!

Hi!! First off tumblr doesn't have a search function, it's a hoax.

Second, I use Blender, which is free! I learned Maya when I studied game art in college and moved over to Blender when my student license ran out. Both programs have their pros n cons and both are like wrestling a wild animal. Because I had veterans teaching me firsthand what to do, I always find it hard to give people advice on how to learn by themselves, yknow? I guess in terms of tips I guess what I'd say is to first follow some tutorials to grasp the basics, then just kinda go off and try to make something, look up stuff as you need it, don't worry about doing everything perfect cause you'll get better with each new project! I think doing it that way will make it more fun and engaging than if you just followed slow indepth tutorials exclusively. At least that's how it'd work for me. Good luck :>

Third, thank yoouuu!! I appreciate that and I am working so hard to work out these mental health issues so I can stream again soon 💖

[csvent-2]

(response to the last thing I posted about terraliens not being developed)

just for the tiniest bit of background they’ve only been around for three weeks now, so a lot of stuff is changing while the mods figure out where the species actually wants to go; people are coming here to complain even though… no species is completely ironed out lol. I don’t expect you to keep up with everything (fuck, I wouldn’t want to either, and the only reason I’m here is it’s the fifth thing that comes up on google when you search “terralien species”, otherwise I wouldn’t even know this blog exists; I’m not even a tumblr user 😭), but maybe you could wait a few weeks to continue posting terra-related things (exceptions being any real issues ofc; I’m talking like “omg the traits/rarity keep changing!!! why do they only get large artists for gas????! (answer: they’ve only had one ga set so far and wanted to help kickstart the species, calm down lol, they won’t only

choose popular artists forever), etc.) It just seems kinda unconstructive, and it’s causing a lot of unnecessary drama and anxiety. I know that’s kinda the whole point of this blog (yummy drama yk?) but I’d personally recommend waiting a couple weeks to continue posting stuff from people about small stuff that IS bound to change since the species is so new. It sounds to me like people are goinf “omg terraliens isn’t as stable as [insert species that is 5+ years old], how dare they!!!!!1!!1!1”, not realizing that terras JUST launched. I’m not asking you to keep updated with every little petty drama, only to hopefully give the mods time to actually iron stuff out, since I know they’ve been getting insanley stressed out from this whole situation.

I see where you’re coming from but also please do consider that when people join a species or even just, an art based group, not unique to CS, they do typically expect that the person(s) running it have done pre planning and preparation to avoid a lot of these issues. So, I think people are fair in venting their frustrations about them.

I will try to screen to not post just openly vitriolic stuff though.

[trans-leek-cookie]

The most normal blog on Tumblr dot com. You can kill me with an axe to take my title

hi. I'm some guy on the internet

I dont really have a name I go by online so just call me CVS, J, or Slime, Abyss, or whatecer. I'm TME and some kinda nonhuman (trans) man, Chinese/White and use he/him, they/them, xe/xem, and whatever other pronouns (minus she/her). I'm also aro/ace

I'm regularly dealing with Mental Health Issues, primarily severe depression mixed with Grief. I'm also just kind of a cunt. This all means I am very Negative as a person.

Proshippers/anti antis, AO3 supporters, transandrophobia truthers, zionists etc. Given the chance I would kill us both.

Not as strong but I'll probably block you if you're a bi/mspec lesbian (and similar label) supporter, "toothpaste" (green+blue) gay flag user, or pro-endogenic systems. Just block me or whatever we shouldn't interact

Also no minors thanks. No hard feelings.

Also- for the love of God Do Not Interact or Follow if you are an ED focused blog. I'm not gonna make any judgements but that topic is just one that is BAD for my mental health.

If you follow me I may look thru ur blog. If I dont vibe I'll probably hard block this isn't super serious the block button is just so fun to press.

I try to tag common triggers as either #(trigger) TW / #(trigger) / #(trigger) ment. The TW form is most common. If I'm unsure it will be tagged "#ask to tag" BUT even if it's not tagged that I'm fine with tagging whatever. I do have a pretty bad memory so if you need a more obscure trigger to always be tagged that probably won't work :^(

Sometimes I talk about personal issues with mental health. I try to tag these but it's not super consistent. Big things are anger issues/compulsive skin picking/Severe Depression.

Transandrophobia isn't real but I'm also the world's biggest transandrophobe. It's a hard job but someone's gotta do it.

Final notes: let me know if I RB from someone fucked up (and if possible please give me a link to the post cause memory issues + tumblr search being Bad is a horrid combo). If I say something fucked up PLEASE specify what it was don't make me assume. I try to write image descriptions for most of the images I post in alt text but they might be bad. I will often say violent or very angry shit bc I have Issues so if that's a problem. Yeah. I'm an artist and art makes me so mad I wish I was dead. Also I'm not into Cookie Run any more I just like Leek Cookie.

[peacrowvivi]

I'm honestly sorry for all these venty reblogs lately

Things have not been easy here, online and offline , financial issues, losses, pressure from over expectations from my family, fear from the future...all this is making me a mess

And I low-key need a way to express my frustrations in some way as basically I have no one I trust to talk to irl about all this.

I'm just basically been ran over with a emotional train and I'm trying to recover in someway.

Do I hate my parents?

No, but basically I've been feeling distant and distrustful of them as they cannot take my own thoughts, worries and feelings seriously, plus they are more rough than usual lately (since the pandemic , practically since the Mitchell's vs the Machines premiered on Netflix, but basically it had became worse since we moved to this new home.) because the economy is shit in my country and we are a huge family that is hard to sustain, so it's harder to feel connected with them than I once used to. I DO wanna love and have fun with them but... lately their mood is making me harder to connect with them and just makes me quite mad due to some injustices/hypocrisies/ and whatever what.

Did I tried Kokobot since I'm having all this trouble and yet I'm clogging your Tumblr page?

Yes. And I'm not...really satisfied with it. The way it works just...idk...it feels that the trouble you told to the system vanishes immediately as soon someone interacts with it and basically doesn't give me much of a closure to know just the opinion of just one person and that opinion doesn't help me much.... Plus found it weird how immediately dm'd me as soon i searched "mental health" here.

Lately things have been tough to the extent that I'm even struggling to draw...which is worrying since classes start soon and I WILL need to draw because of my course. I'm scared, stressed and tired, please be patient if I end up being like some sort of complaining nag sometimes, because honestly, it's the only way I can get this out of my system. I'm truly sorry If this causes any inconvenience.

[noodle-fc]

I have been misled

Chrome adblocking stopped working, as Tumblr warned me would happen. I am switching back to Firefox. I like the privacy-focused ethos. uBlock Origin has blocked ads flawlessly. Page rendering is noticeably faster.

Just about everything else has been horrible. If you are considering the switch, do not expect a smooth transition. I am constantly irritated and sometimes downright angry at the hoops I have to jump through to achieve basic functionality. I've been working for hours to get back what I had with Chrome, and I have only scratched the surface. I have had tension headaches. Seemingly at every turn, it doesn't do what I expect, and every time I know there will be another headache.

To give you just one example: I opened a YouTube video full-screen on my second display and Firefox broke my operating system. I could not browse or navigate tabs in the Firefox window on my main display. I could not switch to other applications with the mouse. The menu bar and the dock disappeared. Yes, that's right, Firefox broke the two primary user interface elements of MacOS because I made a YouTube video bigger.

To fix this, I had to a) identify for myself why this happened (Firefox doesn't use native full-screen function—WHY?); b) search the web for a solution; c) change under-the-hood, arcane settings despite an explicit warning from Firefox that doing so could be dangerous. And that was a quick and easy fix by comparison to the dozen other issues I have—largely because the solution was to undo a Firefox fuckup.

You guys, this process is so bad. It's not sub-optimal, it's not kinda annoying. It's bad. I'm a spoonie, and I need my energy for other things. Even after already sinking many spoons into Firefox, I have so little hope that I'll end up entirely satisfied that I am looking for other options. I thought Opera might be better, but it uses Chromium rendering and is owned by some possibly-shady Chinese investor group. I really do not want to be walled into Apple's garden, but if it lets me get on with my life, Safari might be worth it.

If someone fixed ad-blocking on Chrome I would switch back in a heartbeat, despite Google's anti-competitive and user-hostile behavior, despite the privacy invasion, despite their attack on open Web standards. I care about all of those things, but not to the point of causing myself literal physical pain. I'm probably going to continue primarily using Chrome—and be exposed to the Hell of an un-adblocked Web—until I can (hopefully!) make Firefox (mostly) usable a little bit at a time. I have an alternate Chrome profile I don't use as frequently and I expect I will continue to use that—with attendant Hell-Web exposure—forever. I can't begin to imagine I'd want to go through another migration.

When Chrome came out, it did exactly what it promised: fast browsing and cool features with no bloat right out of the box. And switching was painlessly easy. Even with the ads and the privacy issues, I would recommend to casual Web users that they use Chrome. Not in a thousand years would I suggest that my elderly mother try Firefox, and that's really frustrating, especially when you consider that Mozilla has had more than a decade to make Firefox as attractive an alternative as Chrome was all those years ago.

[glilboy]

ATEEZ Reactions to finding you reading smut about them: Maknae Line

i tried so hard to finish this afterworo and before bed lol. the first part did, so well? im genuinely shocked ill be honest. hope this one is just as good.

requests are open btw!!

tws below the cut

Warning! This work of fiction contains mentions of quirofilia, strength kink, dom/sub dynamics implications and general explicit topics

San:

"Baby just let me play it I just want to get us to the same level," San whined at you about a game you both played. He practically coaxed you into playing but now you genuinely enjoyed it, being hesitent to let him get you farther.

"I want to experience it myself though Sannie," you pouted back at him leaning your head on his shoulder.

"I just want to do the things you've been avoiding! It'll give you enough experience to be the same level, please," his voice became higher pitched which was your call to just let him do it.

"Whatever," you said in a fake angry voice, instantly giggling, "you do that, I'm gonna go grab a snack." You hopped up and off the bed, leaving your phone for him to mess with.

Picking up your phone, happy he got his way, he went to open the app but one was already open.

Humming he read a bit and when he read his name he twitched a little. So this was what you liked. San made you extremely nervous which caused you to be a bit hesitant to share what you liked in bed. You planned to tell him one day but he hurried that process up.

Hearing you coming back he quickly opened the right app even though he now had no actual intention to progress you.

"I am back!" you smiled plopping down with some cut fruit.

"No shit," he mused causing you to roll your eyes with a smile. His brain itching to do something now, an idea popped in seeing you eat the fruit.

Taking a piece of strawberry he held it up to your lips, you unknowingly smiled and took the fruit into your mouth. His breathing accelerated. Waiting a few minutes before he took another piece, he at first popped a piece into his mouth then grabbing another to hold it up again. You took the piece but a muffled sound of surprise came out with it when san shoved his fingers inside a bit.

Looking at him wide eyed and confused you met his which looked at you intensely. You didn't even have a chance to stop yourself before you started to suck his fingers.

"Fuck," he mumbled his gaze going a bit hazy at seeing you like this.

After sucking on his fingers for a moment you let go with a pop.

"You should really let me read more of those stories Y/N," him saying that is what made it all hit.

"Wait- oh shit," you mumbled before he took your jaw in one of his hands squishing your mouth open. The other holding another piece and pressing it to your tongue.

"I would've known sooner just how pretty you think my hands are dear."

Mingi:

Mingi could feel his face turn red, not suspecting is seemingly soft tasted girlfriend to read stuff like this. He was just trying to help! You were busy cooking dinner and asked him to send a text back to your friend, forgetting what you were last doing.

He gulped and set down your phone once sending the message. He wanted to talk about it but he had no clue how to bring it up. Once seated eating dinner you could feel the energy was off since earlier he was in such a great mood. You chose to ask about it after the meal not wanting to have an awkward dinner.

Washing the dishes you didn't feel Mingi approach from behind until he wrapped his hands around your waist.

"Hm? What's up baby?" You hummed softly with a smile.

"Can you do the dishes later...I need to talk to you about something," He set his chin on your shoulder and you could just hear a slight pout in his voice.

Drying off your hands you turned around to look at him, "what's up Mingi?"

He leaned up and took a deep breathe making you a bit worried.

"I- um fuck- Y/N I saw whats on your phone," he hesitated before just ripping off the bandaid.

Your face instantly dropped mumbling a small "ah fuck"

You stayed silent with his hands sitting on your waist. You looked at him before speaking, "Gi, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Do you want to talk about how you feel about seeing it? I'm sure you're pissed."

He tilted his head questioningly at the end, "What no- I mean, like yeah it could be weird but you're reading about me so I don't see an issue, at least as of now."

You we're now pretty puzzled, a bit tongue tied. If you remembered right, the work you had been reading was well pretty aggressive so you were sure Mingi would be weirded out. He was a soft guy and you guys experimented occasionally but nothing that far.

Being able to tell you got in your head he spoke again, "I liked it. I...liked it Y/N."

Looking back at him, his hands tightened on your waist and he moved closer so your lips brushed each others.

"Please- Fuck, can we try it?"

wooyoung:

"Y/N! Can I use your phone for a second?" Wooyoung whined laying on the bed while you we're folding laundry. He wanted attention but you had chores to do.

"Why?" You looked at him weird, knowing he was up to something.

"You'll see," he smiled, just wanting to take selfies on your phone but opened it to a book of sorts.

Curiosity got the best of him as he skimmed the page, a faint blush creeping up his neck. You guys had done a lot but something in him was set off, a smile creeping up his lips.

"Pervert," He spoke deadpanned up at you making you frown before it clicked.

"Wooyoung."

"Y/N."

A moment passed before suddenly he popped up, grabbing your hair and forcing your face into the bed. A giggle sounded from behind you as he leaned down to talk into your ear, "You read stuff like that? You're that horny for just me that you read that kind of shit? Lord your fucking head over heels for me."

"Shut the fuck up-" Your voice got cut off as he lifted you up by your hair, a hand wrapping around your throat making your mind flutter.

"Say that one more time and I'll fuck your face until you pass out like that little book dear."

Jongho:

It was supposed to be a night filled with movies, snacks, giggles and cuddles but your bladder decided to change the trajectory of the night. Excusing yourself to the bathroom you left your phone on the table faced up, not remembering that you left your tumblr notifications on around someone. The phone pinged three times in a row, making Jongho curious to which he glanced over at it.

'c. j 10:15

strength kink'

"What," he said outloud.

Clicking on the notification he began to read the work, blushing at it and embarrassed that he..liked it. Licking his lips he looked around a bit flustered.

When he heard the bathroom door shut he quickly set your phone back down, trying to not awkwardly sit there. You came back like nothing was wrong, cuddling into his side continuing to watch the film.

This is where a few days passed, each day driving Jongho more and more up the wall. Hiding in the bathroom at the studio just to get off without the chance of being caught, at least by you. Scenarios spinning in his head constantly making him want to do anything and everything at once.

When he got home that day you weren't there, his need skyrocketing to the moon. He quickly made it to your bed room and moved to the bed taking off his shirt in the process. He searched around frantically for anything of yours, spotting a t-shirt a few feet away. He pulled down his sweats letting his member spring free, bringing the shirt up to his face to inhale your scent and began to jerk off.

You on the other hand just had your friend drop you off, you jumping up the stairs excited to bring home some pastries to your boyfriend. Coming inside you quickly slipped off your shoes and looked around for him. Seeing he wasn't in the living room you headed towards your bedroom asumming he was there. Opening the door to a sight to see, Jongho jerking himself off while smelling your shirt.

You stood there silent until he opened his eyes, him now being in such a deep mindspace he didn't even seem phased. Slipping his pants back up he waltzed over to you and stood there staring at you.

"I've been going fucking insane, Y/N," he spoke getting closer, shutting the door behind you.

"What do you mean baby?" You asked softly at him. He smiled a bit and lifted a hand to your shoulder making you inhale.

"Your little fucking stories Y/N."

You looked at him wide eyed, thinking you might know which one he saw. "Jo- Fuck I'm sorry, oh god," you began to frantically apologize.

That was when he picked you up and held you up against the wall with one arm, the other hand sitting lazily around your neck.

"No. No. You've been driving me crazy in a good way. Now let me fuck you against this wall unless you want me cumming in your t-shirt."