#try to figure out all the podcasts mentioned here

[samandcolbyownme]

ZACH

okay girlie I've got a juicy one here so cute fluff into fucking filthy smut.

So basically Zach invites you onto the podcast (Jared is the only other person there and maybe Skylar idk anyway) and throughout you two are just flirting with eachother and you eventually go and sit on the couch next to Zach and he places his hand on your thigh and like stares into your eyes anyway I digress when the podcast is finished all of you go out for drinks and both you and Zach end up getting really drunk and end up getting a taxi back to your place and well you know and then after you two are just snuggly and it turns into cute fluff again

LOVE YOU POOKIE 🖤

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, friends to lovers, mentions of drinking, being drunk, heavy flirting, kissing, hair pulling, biting, scratching, hair pulling, oral (both), fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, filthy fluff

Word Count: 4.6k | unedited

I also wrote it as they walked home, no taxi, but that’s the only thing I changed. I realized after I wrote all of it.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

“Hello, hello, and welcome back..” Zach starts out, “..For another episode of Dropouts. Today.. oh boy, today we have the lovely, the talented, and the beautiful..” he gets closer to the mic and mumbles, “I must add..”

He leans back and you roll your eyes with a smile as he continues, “Y/n y/l/n everybody.”

Everyone there claps and you sigh, “I was wondering when you were going to text and beg to have me on.”

“I..” Zach laughs, “Listen, I did not beg, okay.”

You furrow your brows and tilt your head, “Yeah, okay. Sure.”

“Okay, I may have… what’s the word?”

“Embellished?” Jared asks with a laugh and Zach snaps, “That’s the word. I may have embellished the idea of her coming on today and guess what. It freakin’ worked so.”

“Yeah yeah.” You laugh, “what’s the plan for today?”

Zach shrugs, “You wanna meet Lady May?”

“She’s here?!” You ask, sitting up with excitement, “Fuck yeah I do. Bring her out.” You look around and Skyler stands up with her, “She’s taking her afternoon nap.” He says as he stands up to walk over to you.

“She can afternoon nap on me all she wants..” you gasp as he hands her to you, “Look at her! She is so sweet.”

“So, going back to that afternoon nap thing..” Zach says and you look over at him, completely oblivious to where this is going, “Yeah?”

He chuckles, watching you as you’re starstruck by this tiny creature, “Is that open to anyone or just..”

“Zach. Quite trying to sleep with all the guests.” Jared shoot and Zach scoffs, “I’m not trying to sleep with her I’m trying to sleep on her, god, Jared. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

You look up at Jared, laughing at him and you look at Zach, “you being both of your dogs and you might have a good chance.”

“That.. still doesn’t..” Jared sighs, “I’m just going to stop because I’m never going to get through that titanium skull you must have.”

“You get points for trying.” Zach finger guns him and sighs, “If my dog goes missing I know exactly where I’m looking first.”

“Good thing I’m smarter than you.” You smirk at Zach and he furrows his brows, “Mm, give me a second. I’m trying to figure this one out on my own.”

“Are you saying… that you won’t keep the dog at your house.” Zach points to you and you lift your hands and gently clap, “Wow, you must have been hitting the books last time I saw you.”

“You saw me last night, what are you talking about?”

“Whoooaaa.” Jared and Skyler yell at the same time, “Breaking news.” Jared laughs and Skyler scoffs, “So it wasn’t Zach just shaking hands with the milkman, alright.”

“Oh.. my god..” you close your eyes, laughing as you shake your head, “I didn’t.. need to know that, but okay.”

“I was actually in bed by eight p.m last night, alright. There was no shaking of the hands with anyone who delivers milk.”

You laugh, running your hand over the small dog laying in your lap.

“So, y/n.” Jared starts out, “I heard you got a brand deal with Huda Beauty? Going to be in some ads, huh?”

You nod, “that is correct.”

“What’s that, like makeup?” Zach asks and you nod, “Yeah, foundation, fragrances, beauty tools, all that jazz.”

“They’re going to make you play a saxophone? How cool is that!?”

You stare at Zach for a few seconds, blinking before looking at Skyler and Jared, “He amazes me with how fucking quick he is with this shit.”

“That’s just how my mind works, baby.” Zach claps his hands together, “So when does this brand deal go into effect?”

You lean in, “Hopfully next week-“

“Oh, hold on.” Jared points, “I think her mic stopped working.”

“That’s okay.” You get up, holding the dog as you maneuver around to sit next to Zach, “Does this work?”

“Oh yeah.” Zach nods and you smack his arm, “Not what I mean, but okay.” You look down at Lady and shake your head, “She’s just so cute.”

He smirks, “Yeah, I know, but do you have to be so conceited, I mean there’s an almost as cute of a dog sleeping on your lap.”

“Zach.” Skyler groans, “Would you stop flirting with the guest, you’re going to scare her away.”

Zach leans into the mic, “Um, I’m not flirting, okay. I’m just being nice to someone who just so happens to be extra gorgeous.”

You side eye him smirking as you shake your head.

The podcast continues to go good. There’s laughing, Zach being, well, Zach, and you get to talk about what’s going on with you in the next few weeks.

As Jared is talking, Zach slides his hand over, gently scratching the dog’s head, “She’s such a good puppy, isn’t she?”

You nod, “a hundred percent.”

Zach answers to Jared, but he doesn’t move his hand, he just rests it on your thigh, and honestly, it kind of turned you on.

Zach had pretty hands, which only made it harder for you to concentrate, but luckily, Lady was a good cover up for your eyes being on your lap - Zach’s hand.

Every now and then, his fingers would run up and down your jean clad leg, drawing circles and honestly, you didn’t think he knew he was doing that.

You guys were having a serious conversation, or trying to, at least, but you didn’t mind it.

Soon the podcast ended, and Zach wanted his dog back.

“No!” You whine, “I just want to cuddle her.”

“Come by later and you can have all the cuddles you want.” Zach smirks and you roll your eyes, “From you or the dog?”

“Whichever you prefer, my darling.” Zach lifts his hands and drops them back down, “No, but serious. We’re going out for drinks and we want you to come.”

“Fine.” You sigh, giving Zach back his dog, “This better be worth giving up that cute little thing for.”

“I will aggressively cuddle you to make up for it.” Zach walks up, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and you laugh, “Oh, no. That’s not-“

You laugh and shake your head, “Who’s driving?”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

“How’s it goin’?” Zach asks as he leans against the bar in front of you. You laugh, “It’s, uh. It’s goin’.”

“Need another drink? You can put it on my tab.” Zach waves over the bartender and motions to you. You order your drink and smile at Zach, “I think.. I’m about done.”

You laugh as Zach groans, “Oh don’t say that.”

“I’m just not.. I don’t know.” You look around, “Theres just.. a lot of people here.”

“Well, y/n. It is a Friday night and it is a public and popular place to go on said Friday night.”

You grab your glass as the bartender sets it down and you stop him, “Wait, can I get two tequila shots please?”

“Tequila? Oh girl, you’re trying to get me drunk, aren’t you?” Zach laughs and you shrug, “If I go down, I’m taking you down with me.”

“Oh no, no. That wasn’t the deal.” Zach laughs and you shrug, “it is now.”

Two shots turned into four and four turned into six.

“Holy shit.” Zach groans as he slams the last one down on the bar, “I need to get away from you.” You laugh and motion, but he shakes his head, “Correction I need to get you away from this bar.”

He grabs your hand and pulls you with him, stopping when he sees Skyler and Jared, “Hey look our people. Our good, friends, hey friends.”

Jared looks at you, “Is he drunk?”

You nod, “Yessir.”

“So is y/n. Where is she anyway?” Zach looks around before looking down at you, “Ohhhg shiiiit. There you are!”

“I never..” you laugh, “I never left.”

“Wow, that’s great, I-“ Zach walks away and Skyler laughs, “I’ll follow him.” You watch as he walks away after Zach and you shake your head, “I shouldn’t have drank so much.”

“Feeling sick?” Jared asks and you shake your head, “More like.. in my feels right now.” You laugh it off and Jared sighs, “You know what can help that?”

“What?”

Jared points behind you and you turn around to see Zach holding two bottles up and pouring them in his mouth.

“Oh..” you laugh, “No, no. He’s going to regret that.” You look at Jared, “That is so fucking funny.” You lay a hand over your mouth and follow him through the crowd over to Zach.

Zach sets the bottles down and everyone around him cheers. He looks at you and points, “Get over here.” He gives you a come here motion and you groan, laughing as you walk over to him.

He lifts the bottle up, giving you a shot straight to the mouth.

“Whoooa!” Zach cheers and he quickly gets the crowd to start chanting your name.

Everyone know who you were which made it more fun, in a way.

“Come on.” You laugh, stumbling down off small stage with Zach in your grasp trailing behind you. You turn around, “I think I’m going home.”

“What?” He sounds so sad, “Why?”

“I’m.. jus’not feelin’ it anymore.” You laugh slightly, “Im getting sad, I think I miss Lady.”

“Well, I have a solution.” Zach leans up against the wall and tilts his head, “ya wanna hear it?”

You laugh, nodding your head, “Sure, Z.”

“Maybe making out for a few minutes will help us figure things out.”

“Figure what out?” You laugh and he shrugs, “I don’t know, but it sounded good, didn’t it?” He raises his brows and you roll your eyes, “Fuck it. Why not.”

“What?” He looks shocked, “Really? I don’t think that would work.”

“Fucking kiss me before I walk aw-“

Zach cups your cheeks, his lips on yours and you drunkenly make out with each other as you lean against the wall.

Your hand slides up to grip his sweatshirt, pulling him closer, “Zach..” you mumble against his lips, “I think.. we need to.. go.”

“Go?” He pulls his head back, “Why?”

You raise your brows, smirking up at him and he gasps, “Ooohh, ohh, oh.” He nods, “Yep. Yeah, let’s..” he looks around, “They’ll figure it out.”

“Don’t you need to get your card?” You point to the bar and he groans, “Fuck, yes.” He grabs your hand, fingers interlocking with his and he pulls you with him.

He gets his card, signs the receipt in a drink scribble and you leave the bar.

“My house is just a block away. We can walk.” You point, laughing as you stumble down the street with him.

“Oooh, taking me to your house on the first date huh.” Zach looks over at you and you laugh, laying your hand on his chest, “Oh my god, that was not a first date.”

“I dunno..” he sighs, laughing, “With how much you stayed with me.. sure felt like it.”

“I was making sure you didn’t pass out and face plant, Zach. You’re not much of a drinker.” You shake your head, pulling away as you do a spin with his hand in yours above your head.

“Whoa, someone call dancing with the stars because this star, is dancing!” Zach announces as he points to you. You slap his hand down and laugh, “Will you be my partner?”

“Oh I don’t dance. I can’t to save my life.”

You step in front of him, taking his other hand, “You just.. it’s easy.. look..”

He tries, but he ends up tripping over your feet and his feet and he’s on his back looking up at you as you sit next to him on the sidewalk absolutely losing it.

“Are.. oh my god.. are you.. are you okay?” You ask as you continue to die laughing, “Fuck, Zach! I should have listened to you.”

Zach lays there laying, his one hand over his face as his other rests on your thigh. You look down, tilting your head as your laughter comes to a stop, “You have very nice hands.”

“Yeah?” He sits up, “That why you were looking at them instead of the dog in your lap during the podcast today?”

“How did you know?”

“I didn’t until just now.” He smirks, slowly standing up before pulling you to your feet, “But you didn’t push it away so I figured you had some sort or liking for it.”

“You’re annoying when you’re drunk.” You roll your eyes, walking away from him and he chases after you, “Yeah? Is that because you know I’m right?”

“Shut up.” You laugh, smiling up at him as you gently push him away.

“Where the hell is your house, y/n. Feels like we’ve been walking and falling forever.”

You start to laugh again, thinking about how Zach ate the pavement, “stop it that was so funny!”

“It was not!” He argues, fighting back laughter, “Okay. Okay. Maybe it was.”

You point, “my apartment is in that building.”

“My god you’re rich.” Zach shakes his head, “I’m jealous.”

“You have your own house, the fuck you mean you’re jealous.” You laugh as you walk up the steps to the door. Zach follows, “This is a lot prettier than my house.”

You roll your eyes, shaking your head as you unlock the door, “I’m on the top floor.”

“Is there an elevator, please don’t tell me we have to walk up all these steps.” Zach groans and you point, “Of course there’s an elevator, Zachary.”

“What did I tell you about calling me that?”

You furrow your brows, “That you like that I’m the only one who calls you that?”

He nods, “Yes ma’am.”

“You never said that.” You laugh as you push the elevator button, “But I’ll take it.”

Zach laughs, wrapping his arms around you, “I had fun tonight. Thanks for coming out.”

“Why do you sound like I’m dropping you off from a date?” You walk into the elevator, his arms still around you, “You came home with me.”

“Oh right I did.” He laughs and you spin around in his arms, leaning over to press the button. His arms tighten around you and you sigh, “I think we drank too much.”

“Why do you say that?” He looks down at you and you slowly look up at him, “I think I’m starting to spin.”

“Uh oh.” Zach leans back, “If you need to puke, do it away from us please.”

“I’m not going to puke.” You laugh as you step off of the elevator, “Follow me.”

He follows you down the hall and you stop to unlock the door, “Here we are.” You push the door open and walk in, “Home sweet home.”

You set your bag on the counter and Zach walks in, pushing the door closed behind him, “Woooow.” He looks around, “This place is nice.”

“Hey thanks.” You walk back the hall and turn around, “Are you coming?”

He raises his brows, “Is this the part where I get to aggressively cuddle you now?”

You scoff, laughing as you tilt your head, “Just get your ass in my bed.”

“Yes ma’am!” He salutes you with a serious look and you shake your head as you walk into your room. He walks in, kicking his shoes off as he holds himself up with his hand on the wall.

You walk over and grab a pair of shorts and a new shirt, “Im gonna change quick.” You can’t help but giggle as you watch Zach fight to not look at you, “I don’t care if you look, Zach.”

“Didn’t want to make anything weird.” He laughs as he takes off his shirt. You slip on your new clothes, “Zach, we’ve known each other for years, I don’t think anything can be weird.”

“Yeah, plus.” He kicks off his jeans and walks over to lay on the bed, “You had your tongue down my throat a few hours ago.”

You take a deep breath, nodding slowly, “That I did.” You laugh, walking over to sit next to him. He opens his arm, “C’mere.”

He lays his arm over you, pulling you back towards him.

You lay your head on his chest, your arm over his abdomen and you let out a content sigh, “Are you still drunk?”

“Uh huh.” He laughs, “Are you?”

“Uh huh.” You answer, tilting your head up to look at him, “Who was your favorite guest on the podcast?”

He laughs, “Now, I just feel obligated to say you.”

You smirk, “You can. No one’s stopping you”

“Yeah but then, mm.” He tilts his head, “Now that I think about it.. I think you’re my favorite.” You squint your eyes, “Is it because you’re sleeping here tonight?”

“Whaaaat? Nooo. No. Not at all, why would you ask that?”

You laugh, “Zachary.”

“You’re my favorite because you’re you.”

You smile, “I think you’re just saying that, but alright.”

“I’m not.” He brushes hair from your face, “You’re my favorite person.”

“Oh gosh. Okay. Now we’re getting all mushy gushy.” You scrunch up your nose, “I was already in my feelings once tonight, I don’t need to be in them again.”

“Why were you- are you good?”

You nod, “Just.. a lot of stress and shit, you know?”

He nods, “Yeah, but you know I’d drop everything for you. Hell, I asked to make out because I finally had the confidence to do it.” He laughs slightly, “Thanks alcohol.”

“I would have done it sober, Z.”

He looks shocked, “What?! Why didn’t you tell me!?”

“You never asked!” You laugh, rolling over onto your back. Zach rolls over, his face above yours, “Well, I may not be sober now, but do you wanna make out again?”

You reach up, pulling his head towards you. Your lips meet his and move in such a perfect sync.

You bite down on his lower lip, tugging slightly and he gasps lowly, “You really wanna go there?”

“I’ve been waiting to go there.”

“Oh shit.” Zach clears his throat, “Why didn’t you just say so.” He moves his body over yours and your knees rest against his hips.

He kisses down your neck and you drag your nails up his back, “Zach.” You whimper as he bites and sucks at your skin, “Fuck, I need you.”

He kisses back up, connecting his lips with you before sitting up. He works to take off your shorts and underwear as you pull your shirt up over your head and throw it.

He leans down, kisses down your chest. You pant as he takes your one nipple into his mouth and moan as he sucks, “Fuck, yes, yes.”

Your fingers lace through his hair, tugging as he gently bites down, “Fuck.”

He kisses down your torso, over to your hip and he brings a hand up. His fingers circle over your clit as his lips trail up and down your thigh.

He turns his head, his breath fanning over your needy core as his eyes lock onto you.

You stare down at him, lip pulled between your teeth.

His head dips down, tongue licking up through your folds and your back lifts from the bed, and moans escaping your lips.

You tilt your head back, the heel of your foot digging into his upper back as you whine, “That feels so good.”

His fingers and tongue switch places, causing your body to arch with pleasure as his fingers slowly slide in and out.

“F-fuck.” You gasp, your walls clenching around his fingers, “shit, shit, yes!”

Your hips roll and your fingers tug his hair. Your moans fly from your lips as he guides you through your first high.

His tongue circles your clit, flicking against it as his fingers slowly come to a stop.

You drop your hand to the bed, looking up at him with a smirk, “My turn.” You point with your thumb to the bed beside you and Zach raises his brows as he leans up, moving to lay next to you.

You push your self up, your fingers slipping into the band of his boxers. He lifts his hips as you pull them down, biting your lip when you see his cock resting against his pelvis.

You glance up at him and he smirks, flicking his brows up.

You smirk back, leaning down and situating yourself between his legs before dragging your tongue up his cock.

He gasps out, bucking his hips, “goddamn.”

You slide a hand up, wrapping it around him. Your lips attach to the head, tongue flicking and swirling around which earns low moans and groans from him.

His eyes flutter closed and his head tilts back as you start to bob your head, finding a good rhythm. His hand finds the back of your head, sliding down to brush your hair out of his view, “God, fuck.”

He bucks his hips, moaning as you work to take in as much as you can of him. Your eyes squeezing shut as you dig your nails into his thigh.

You move up a little, continuing to bob your head as he moans, “Fuck.. That’s my girl.”

You lift your head, looking at him as your tongue rests on the underside of the tip. He tilts his head, biting his lip as he takes in the imagine before him, “You are so hot.”

You smile as you lean back, crawling up to straddle him, “Says you.”

You align your lower half with his, sinking down on him with a loud moan. He pulls you forward, his arm wrapping around your waist, “you feel so fucking good.”

He moans as you lift your hips and sinking back down, moaning yourself, “You’re so big, baby.” You lick up his neck, moaning in his ear, “I feel so full.”

He moans at your words, his hands sliding to your ass to grip, guiding you up and down, “I swear..” he groans, his grip growing tighter, “You were made for me.”

“Fuck.” You groan, pushing yourself up. Your hands are planted flat against chest, nails digging into his skin as you bounce your hips fast.

Your eyes roll back and your head tilts to the side, “Fuck, fuck, yes yes.” You pant, eyes opening to look down at him.

He watches up at you, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as his fingers squeeze your hips, “That’s it, baby. Just like that.”

You keep your pace, moans growing louder by the second, “F-fuck.” You lean forward slightly, “I-I’m so..” you gasp, sinking you hips all the way before continuing to bounce them, “Fucking close!”

You lean down, your lips crashing onto it. He swallows each one of your moans, exchanging some of his own in between, “Cum, baby, cum for me.”

You moan against his lips, eyes fluttering shut as you guide yourself through your own high.

Once your hips slow down, Zach rolls you over, his own thrusts picking up where yours left off, “so pretty when you do that.” He whispers in your ear, “You’re gorgeous.”

You moan, arms wrapping around his neck, “Feels so good, Z. Feels so fucking good.”

He kisses up your jaw line, connecting his with yours, “You have me so close, baby.” You moan at his words, your legs tightening around his waist, “Need all of you, baby. Please.”

“Yeah?” He groans, his thrusts slowing down, “Tell me what you want.”

You gasp as you feel him thrust in, holding it there as your walls clench around him, “I-I, Fuck..” you whine, “Cum inside of me, baby. Please, please.”

Zach groans, kissing back down your neck as his thrusts pick up, “Feels so good.” He connect his lips with yours, your moans mixing together as his thrusts grow sloppy.

His thrusts slow down and he moans lowly, “Fuck, fuck.”

His cock twitches inside of you and you moan at the feelings, clinging to him as you feel him filling you.

You slowly make out, gasping quietly as you feel his cock slip out of you.

He rolls over and you turn your head to look at him, “ten out of ten.” He laughs and nods, “I gotta agree with you on that one.”

You smile and stand up, “That kinda sobered me up a little. I think I’m going for a shower.” You tilt your head, “Wanna come?”

“I don’t think I can do that again right now, but yeah, I’ll shower with you.”

You laugh, shaking your head, “Just.. let’s go.”

He follows you to the bathroom and you turn on the shower, stepping in once the water is hot. Zach follows you in, sliding the door closed behind you and his hands are on your hips, “Why haven’t we ever thought to do this sooner?”

You shrug, “No idea, but I kinda don’t want it to stop.”

He nods, “I can agree with you on that, too. Damn, we are on fire tonight, baby.”

You laugh, shaking your head as you reach for the shampoo.

After showering, you make your way back to the bedroom and you look at Zach, “Okay.”

“Okay .. what?” He asks as he dries off his hair and you drop your towel and climb into bed, “Now is when you can aggressively cuddle me.”

You smirk as his face lights up and he laughs, “Oh fuck yeah.” He drops his towel and gets into bed, moving over to lay right behind you.

His arm is under your head and his other is holding you close to him, “do you think there will be an outbreak of us making out in that club?”

“I’m going to die if there’s a picture of you lying on the cement.” You turn your head towards him and you both laugh.

“I’m sure there will be.” He scoffs, “I think us making out is better than me eating the sidewalks, you know?”

You nod, “Oh yeah, much hotter, but then again..” you try to hold back your giggle, “I had you on your back and that was a whole lot hotter than just kissing you.”

“Whoa, okay. Settle down, sparky. We’re cuddling.” Zach laughs, kissing the back of your head, “Mm. Your conditioner smells good.”

“Thanks.” You laugh, “I think we should try and sleep.”

“I don’t know, I like talking to you.” You can tell Zach was smiling, which only made you smile bigger, “I like talking to you, too.”

After two hours of just talking about anything and everything, you both passed out, tangled in each other’s embraces and as close together as you could possibly get.

Once you woke up, you rolled over, a relieved feeling washing over you when you realize Zach was still there.

His back was facing you, so you moved over, kissing over his shoulder which made him stir, “Hey, you’re still here.”

You laugh, “This is my house.”

He laughs and rolls over, “Just testing you, calm down.” You smirk and lean in to kiss him, “You hungry? I can make us a hangover breakfast.”

He nods, stretching his arm out, “I am, but I think it’s for something else.” He raises his brows and rolls over, “Spread’em for me, baby.”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Thank you so much for reading! I love you all soooo much. My apologies, this is a lot longer than I thought it would be but I fell in love and couldn’t stop writing! Hope you enjoyed and I’ll catch you in the next one! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[just-an-enby-lemon]

AITA Podcast Edition:

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I recently discovered that the woman that previously had my job G was murdered and her body was resting in the secret tunnels behind my work place with a bunch of cassete tapes. It has to have been one of my co-workers!! And if I do nothing I'm the next!!! No, I'm not paranoid!!!

"AITA for lying to my employee so I could turn him into an eldrish god and end the world?"

My ex-husband P said he though so but he tried to throw my other employee M into a Lonely hellish pocket dimension so who can tell? My Archieve also thinks so but I did applogize for the decepcion.

AITA for driving a man out of town because he gave my husband a bad haircut?

It was a really bad haircut.

AITA for bringing scientific explanations to a desert little town?

You see, I just wanted to help the people from this small supertious odd town in having a better understanding of reality by explaining away everything. Unfortunately my explanations were "killing" some unexplainable people (apparently by explaining them they just died and were remade lifeless husks) and the town got mad because god forbid a woman do anything.

AITA for screaming at a grieving woman over her lack of investigative curiosity?

I have some known investigative abilities, those who know me know that my love for riddles and puzzles has no bounds so it wasn't really as surprising when a surprisingly not evil cop asked my help with a high profile case. We were to investigste the disapearance of B and that was how we ended up meeting Vi she was B ex-girlfriend and could know something about the case except even though she was a journalist she didn't even know it was a kidnapping case!

AITA for forcing Gotham to watch an evil horror movie?

The movie in question was gifted to me in a ... let's say exange with a certain local bilionaire I may or may not have fear gassed after he refused to properly compensate me with said movie.

AITA for using the plans I had with my ex-boyfriend with my new boyfriend?

Us and my ex were very close and we had created this plan in case the city needed a backup civilian concil in the mist of the police. But after an... acid incident.. we sorta broke up and my new mafia boss bf really wanted to control the police.

AITA for not letting my friend numb her feelings with magic?

I work as an obituary writer and that was how I met my first friend in ages when I was writing about her aunt passing.

AITA for joining the other side without telling my friends?

Look I'm a demon and all my friends are as well, we have a band ... had a band? Not sure if I'm still in it... But hell sucks.

AITA for suspending someone's soul in the moment they died?

I had no idea I could do that. But apparently when I was a child I did? Until this point I was sure I had no arcane powers (as my mum told me that repetedly). I don't know how I did that or how to undo it but I feel bad.

[sssilverstoned]

reminiscing ꩜ ln4

type: instagram/twitter au

Fans suffer days leading to love's holiday without their favorite couple.

lily said: hi! my first fic here, my first social media au ever, hope u enjoy :) will be a part 2 and 3..maybe more as well. whatever my heart desires and such

call her daddy podcast, 2/6/23

alex cooper and special guest: y/n l/n

y/n l/n: my friends keep trying to get me on dates, but i don't know, i'm just too much of a homebody right now. trying my best, but i'm rusty.

alex cooper: right, and i totally don't want to bring it up, if you don't want it out, but...

y/n l/n: no, it's totally fine. and yes, i'm single. it's one of those things i figured people will start to pick up on, it's kinda how life like this goes.

alex cooper: like a microscope on your relationship?

y/n l/n: exactly. made stuff super stressful, especially since we started dating when we were 19.

alex cooper: shit, 5 years is longer than i thought!

y/n l/n: we grew up together, had so many highlights and growing pains, and i don't want to get on your show and wallow or pout, that's really not what i feel. and i hope no one thinks anyone did anything wrong, it's just a growth thing. some people, as they grow, grow differently. and apart, i guess.

alex cooper: but you still have love for each other, i know that for sure.

y/n l/n: i'll never ever lose that love, i don't think.

Liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc, and 1,264,997 others

landonorris Quite a birthday today! Another year around the sun, another year of me kissing your face. Love you the most.

user1 yassss OUR girlfriend!

yourusername To the moon and back baby!!!!

yourusername Not pictured: his slobber on my cheek

landonorris You quite like my slobber, no? oscarpiastri I surely don't

user2: you two really are growing up together :')

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Liked by zendaya, kendalljenner, and 1,754,132 others

yourusername Sweet boy took me for a picnic, had too much wine hahaha. Thank you all for the birthday wishes, my heart is singing!!!! 23, woah am I close to getting old?

user1 SWEET BOY oh you people are sick

landonorris The most stunning girl, even napping

landonorris and yes you're old now user2 CORNYYYY (i'm ready to end it all) user3 "you're old now" and what are you??

emrata Wine's always a good idea

bellahadid happy birthday baby! come visit soon

user4 does that say lando on her necklace . i'm gonna snap soon

sza Loveeeee. U my favorite, Happy Solar Return!

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Liked by alpinegoss, paddocktea, and 16,821 others

f1gossipcentral submission from a fan today in monaco:

i met lando today with a few others, he was so nice! we didn't want to ask flat out about y/n, he actually brought her up in passing when someone mentioned being from the same hometown as her, and he pointed it out himself. he didn't have the same energy we're used to when speaking about her, but it's obvious there was love in his voice, a lot of it. he's still got her friendship bracelet she made him last year on, but i think it's the type you'd have to cut to get off. regardless, i hope the best for him, and her too.

user1 you're telling me just the name of her hometown and he BLURTS about her?? AFTER being broken up??? yeah we're never seeing pearly gates atp

user2 is this what a broken home feels like?

user3 SHATTERED home. and yes. user4 y/n lando please. come home the kids miss you

user5: single y/n...don't hate me but i would love a baddie era

user6: oh this is not a safe space for you.

View more comments...

[babygirlhouse]

house md 2024 headcanons 🫡

hi loves!! jumping on this trend :^) i don't think any of these make sense but they made me laugh soooo here u go

House has a very bad pain day and (when pushed) says that he strained the muscle while riding his bike. Obviously nobody believes him, so the ducklings + Wilson spend the day trying to figure out what he did and end up finding security footage of him attempting to hit the griddy in the morgue 

Kutner has a very generic inspirational quotes tumblr blog (he’s so proud of it) and House finds it and just starts dropping quotes from it in DDXs to mess with him & then acting all innocent 

Thirteen has a secret thirst trap tiktok acc that doesn’t explicitly show her face but has her lab coat & maybe stethoscope. When Chase suggests that it’s her she doesn’t confirm or deny it and just keeps winking. Cameron definitely follows the account after this. Thirteen pretends not to realise.

Wilson takes a uquiz to find out what sort of cheese he is and is devastated when it says he’s cheddar. He then has an identity crisis because he thinks he’s too bland and tries to reinvent his aesthetic, leading to one infected eyebrow piercing and a tramp stamp that’s never mentioned again. Potential there for a sappy scene where House tells him he's anything but bland.

Cuddy starts a momblog style podcast. House sends anonymous hate. Taub guest stars. 

I think Taub would get deeply into ASMR. Like it’d start with him finding and playing a video of ASMR triggers for his daughters, then he tries it himself to see if that calms them down even more, etc etc. He starts a youtube channel and it blows up. He gets recognised by patients at the hospital. It goes to his head just a little. He unironically uses the term 'ASMRtist'

A cosplayer has a mysterious illness and the team has to go to a convention to test for environmental factors. Chase is apprehensive but House forces him to go. He’s quickly recognised at the convention and it turns out that he has a cosplay instagram account and they get stopped every 10 mins to take pictures. No one lets him live it down 

Thirteen and Cameron kiss & fall in love & babysit Taub's kids. House makes relentless jokes but is quietly very fond of them and their relationship. Pls i need this

Foreman has a twitter/X account where he posts a combination of work out tips/inspirational quotes (not as sweet as Kutner's blog, more grindset vibes yknow) but he gets mixed up in a pyramid scheme for protein powders and gets cancelled. Also potential for a sappy scene here where Foreman says he admires Kutner for not letting House's teasing about his blog get to him. They're besties now and make each other better.

Cuddy forces all of them to go on a wellness retreat. House and Wilson make a bet to see who can go the longest without speaking. It's not even a silent retreat, they're just like that. Also someone convinces Chase that the utility shed on the retreat is haunted.

The wellness retreat no speaking bet also def has potential for gay chicken. Like Wilson kisses House to see if that will get him to lose the bet. By the next morning neither of them know or care who lost the bet, they leave their room looking Extremely disheveled and return to the hospital very much together. Cuddy is not at all surprised. She planned this. Each of the ducklings hand her $100.

PPTH minecraft server. yeah

[emp-t-man]

eiffel and minkowski are often perceived (either by the other characters of the podcast or its audience, but mostly by each other) as the lazy slacker who sucks at his job and the competent go-getter who’s the best at what she does, and yet neither of these things are true. i think one of my favorites of their parallels is they are both exceptionally good at what they do, and yet they both constantly suffer from doubts about their own abilities. they just have completely different ways of going about this insecurity, and that’s what creates this stigma about them.

eiffel has proven time and time again that he absolutely knows what he’s doing in his field. He’s extremely protective over his equipment, he knows exactly what to do when it doesn’t work ninety nine percent of the time, the man made two way radios from old audio recorders, for christ’s sake, not to mention the way he was able to figure out how to survive for months in the middle of deep space completely by himself. but one of his most fatal flaws is that he doesn’t believe he knows what he’s doing. his self hatred and insecurity run so deep that the moment he believes he’s not cut out for something, he stops trying entirely. he sees people like minkowski doing such a good job in their position, that when people like that tell him he’s incapable of doing the same, he believes it, because he never believed in himself, anyway. i think the most obvious example of this is after the season one finale, when he learns about the decima project. the minute he learns that being an officer of communications wasn’t his only purpose on that mission, he comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t serve that purpose at all. he resolves that he was simply an “experimental meatbag”, chosen for the mission because he had absolutely nothing else going for him. he’s so quick to dismiss his worth and his capabilities, and so he leans into this persona of a good for nothing procrastinator to avoid letting his peers down by never letting them form expectations of him in the first place. of course, he isn’t perfect, he is a bit of a procrastinator and a scatterbrain, but that’s far from all he is.

minkowski on the other hand, she’s constantly praised for all of her achievements and hard work, be it by goddard, by her students, her superiors, lovelace, and especially eiffel in the later seasons. she’s seen as strong, and resilient, and an excellent leader. but the thing is, she also constantly doubts her own ability. this can also be seen during the season one finale, where she apologizes to eiffel because she describes hera’s deactivation and hilbert’s mutiny as her own fault, because she wasn’t a good enough commander to prevent it. but the thing about her is when she starts to doubt her capability, she works overtime to try and prove herself and anyone else who may doubt her wrong, which is also unhealthy! it happens with the plant monster, when she continuously risks her own life just to prove to herself that she can have the slightest bit of control over a situation. it happens during pan-pan, where she attempts to keep the stress fractures in the station a secret and handle them on her own because she wants to be able to protect the lives and morale of her crew the way a “good commander” should! instead of giving up and saving herself the disappointment if ever she should fail, she does the complete opposite, working herself to the bone and obsessing over every detail to make sure she doesn’t fail, no matter what it takes.

now here’s the kicker— after the events of desperate times / desperate measures, eiffel and minkowski completely swap coping mechanisms. when lovelace comes to, minkowski almost immediately asks her to assume the position of commander in her place, because she thinks that the loss of lives means that she completely failed her objective and isn’t fit for the role. her stepping down is essentially giving up in her eyes, because why hold such an important position if you’re no good at it? meanwhile, in episode fifty two, after eiffel gets called out on his, while without malicious intent, inconsiderate and distasteful behavior, he completely withdraws from the rest of the crew in order to work extremely hard on his own tasks, ultimately risking his and the rest of the crew’s life in order to prove he can be useful. sounds familiar, right?

but the thing is, they’ve each already spent so much time reverting to their original way of coping, that attempting the other’s method is immediately clocked as simply being concerning and out of character, rather than establishing them as the opposite archetype of being capable or not. lovelace expects minkowski to always resort to overachieving, but not because its a way to disprove her insecurity, but because it’s just “who she is”. so when she does the opposite, that’s when she realizes something is wrong, and resorts to comforting minkowski instead of simply letting her do what she’s elected to do. hera expects eiffel to laugh off any mistake he makes and go back to goofing off— not because it’s his way of avoiding disappointment from those he cares about, but because it’s just “who he is”. so when he does the opposite, focusing solely and intently on his duties where he was so comfortable neglecting them before, she realizes something is wrong. and when he explains to the rest of the crew that his actions are only to “help the only way he still can”, they realize something is wrong, and choose to comfort him rather than simply rolling their eyes and letting eiffel be eiffel.

it is. so incredibly late at night so i don’t know if this makes the sense i want it to make but i just. cannot get enough of how much they compliment and reflect each other. they seem to have nothing in common on the surface, but they fit together so well in terms of how they operate as people and i’m obsessed with it

[hauntedestheart]

Transcript: "You Know The Face" Episode 47 - Blaise Gigson

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and resemblance to any real life persons is completely intentional, lol, but to spare the virgin eyes of the search algorithm I changed the name.

[Theme tune plays]

Arsenio: Hey there listeners, welcome back to "You Know The Face," the best podcast out there devoted to discussing the great changes that The Great Shift brought about.

Arsenio: As always, I'm your host Arsenio Braxton, still here and still me, and for this episode I'm by a very special guest- you might know the face, Blaise Gigson is here in the studio! Hi Blaise, welcome to the pod.

Blaise: Hey Arsenio! Thanks having me, I'm a huge fan of the show. This podcast is like, the soundtrack to my morning runs.

Arsenio: Oh my god, dude, I'm blushing! You've been one of our most requested guests for a while now so it's such a pleasure to finally have you here in the studio with us. And I want to let the listeners at home know, this guy is even bigger in person.

Blaise: Okay, now you're making me blush. I'll admit it, I always do fifty pushups before getting on camera just to make sure I look my best- does that make me sound weird?

Arsenio: I mean, it's healthier than my pre-show ritual, which is just a Red Bull and a shot of vodka. Now I'm gonna be calling you Blaise, but that wasn't the name you were born with, right?

Blaise: Yup, just like most people I was shifted into this body.

Arsenio: BUT, unlike most people, after the shift you decided to adopt the name of the original owner of that body. What inspired you to make that choice?

Blaise: Well I flipped a coin and- nah, I'm just joking. How do I explain this... the shift changed everything, you know? Not just our bodies, but the whole world. I don't really think that any of us are who we used to be, even the people who didn't shift, so taking on a new name just felt natural. Plus I think I'm kind of a special case since I swapped into a celebrity- I get recognized all the time, every day people come up to me on the street and call me "Blaise," so I figured I might as well just embrace that.

Arsenio: Oh that's true, I never thought of it like that. See, that's what I love about doing this show- getting all of these different perspectives. A lot of the people I talk to on this pod mention that they try stay connected to who they were before the shift, but it sounds like you're just full steam ahead. You very famously don't like to talk about who you were before at all, is that right?

Blaise: Nah, not really. A lot of people think that means I was a criminal or something and I'd like to say for the record that I was not, but I don't like to sweat the small things like who I used to be. I'm just focused on who I am today! And I think I make a pretty good Blaise Gigson, don't you?

Arsenio: Absolutely, man, you're crushing it. But I gotta ask, has the real Blaise Gigson tried to get in contact with you?"

Blaise: Try, like, eight Blaise Gigsons. That's the thing about swapping with a celebrity- there's a lot of creeps out there who were obsessed with you that think about this as their chance to get in on the action. Since it was impossible to figure out who was telling the truth, I had to just block all of them. For safety reasons.

Arsenio: Oh, so you don't talk to any of them? But aren't you worried you might be shutting out the real Blaise?

Blaise: Well, wherever he is he can rest easy knowing that I'm taking good care of his body. If you're out there watching Blaise, this one's for you!

Arsenio: Oh, and there it is! The famous bicep. Would you mind doing it again, just for me?

Blaise: Mind? I'd love to, these things are awesome.

Arsenio: No arguments here... actually, let's pivot and talk about that for a second. Now, we all knew that Blaise Gigson was a hottie with a body, but you've sexed up his image a lot since assuming the reigns. I'm sure most of our listeners have probably seen a certain viral video-

Blaise: The workout stream, yeah.

Arsenio: Dude. you broke the internet with that one! Seeing you all hot and sweaty, flexing all those muscles on the floor... pretty iconic if you ask me. Can one of the producers insert the clip here?

Arsenio: Damn daddy! Sorry, I shouldn't be thirsting over you while you're right here in front of me, they're gonna have to edit this part out or else before get cancelled haha.

Blaise: Nah, don't sweat it man. Trust me, no one gets it more than I do- you think looking at this body is great? Try living in it. Like, I'll admit it, I get turned on watching those clips too. I look fucking hot there.

Arsenio: So I think it's safe to say the "himboification" of the Blaise Gigson brand was a conscious decision on your part?

Blaise: Honestly? A little bit yes, a little bit no. I mean, it wasn't something I planned on when I first got this body, it just kind of happened. Like one day I just woke up and I was a famous hunk... of course I was gonna get a little wild, right? I couldn't resist showing off a bit. At first I was worried that I was going a bit overboard but people have really been responding to it.

Arsenio: Yeah I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who "responded" to that video, if you catch my drift.

Blaise: I hope so! I mean, think about it. When I was just a nobody sitting at home I would have killed to see my celebrity crushes take their clothes off and just, I don't know, start slutting it up. And so now that I am one of those guys I used to dream about, I wanna make that fantasy a reality for everybody else.

Blaise: Like, come on, don't the people deserve to see all of this?

Arsenio: I completely agree. Actually, could we see a little bit more, for the camera? Or even just for me?

Blaise: Haha, maybe later.

Arsenio: Alright, I'm gonna hold you to that. But we should probably get moving or else this episode is gonna wind up being four hours, haha. As the listeners know, I started this podcast because I was one of the few people not affected by The Great Shift, so I'm always fascinated by the stories of people who were. Let's get yours Blaise- can you walk us through your shift experience? What was it like for you that first morning?

Blaise: The thing I'll always remember about waking up was the weight. Being in a body like this one that's built like a tank, that's a lot of muscle, and muscle is one of the heaviest things in the body. I knew something was different before I even opened my eyes because I could feel how much space I was occupying. And that kinda freaked me out!

Blaise: But all of that weight is actually strength, and the second I started moving I knew that whatever had happened to me was a good thing.

Blaise: I'll never forget this- the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes and looked down was this giant chest blocking my view. I was so confused I tried like, wipe them off because I thought they were something stuck to me, but nope! I just had massive pecs all of the sudden. And then I got distracted just, like, squeezing them.

Arsenio: That's so funny- I hear that exact same story all the time, but from shifted women. I think you're the first guy to have the classic "boob grab" experience, haha!

Blaise: Hey, it's a classic for a reason! I say when you've got tits like these, you give 'em a squeeze. But I realized pretty quickly that there was a whole body underneath my chest, and that... woof. I was actually confused at first because I'd never touched a six-pack before so I was like "what the fuck is going on with my stomach" when I first felt it- I wasn't used to my body being so hard.

Blaise: The new core strength was incredible too- like, just sitting up felt better than it ever had before. And when I sat up and the blankets slid off of me and I saw my new body for the first time, I was shocked. I'd never seen someone with that many muscles in my life, and suddenly I had the best seat in the house. And by "best seat," I mean I had a dump truck ass.

Arsenio: Sounds like you were in bed for a minute then.

Blaise: A minute? Try two hours. I was alone with the body of my dreams and I could do anything with it, so I- well, you can probably guess what I did next.

Arsenio: I bet I can and I would love to hear about it, maybe even see a demonstration, but I think we should move on before we get demonetized. When you finally got out of bed, did you recognize yourself when you looked in the mirror?

Blaise: Recognize myself? Dude, I basically creamed myself. Blaise was one of my biggest celebrity crushes and seeing that face staring back at me from the mirror... just, words can't even describe it. Having all of this body and the face to match? The beard? This jawline? These lips? I'm handsome as fuck.

Arsenio: Dude, I'm so jealous right now you have no idea. So you weren't scared that you'd woken up in a completely new body?

Blaise: I mean, I was confused, but I thought it was just me, you know? I thought it was some kind of Freaky Friday situation and I'd just been zapped into this body so like, he could learn a lesson about the meaning of Christmas or something. I didn't learn about the shift until later.

Arsenio: And then did you freak?

Blaise: Nah. I feel selfish when I say that because I know how scared so many people are, and I feel for them I really do, but I was excited. I wasn't really thinking about anybody else, I was just excited to be Blaise.

Arsenio: And so we're heading on over a year since the shift- how are you settling in to your new body? It's quite an impressive physique and you've maintained it well.

Blaise: Thanks- keeping up with the gym routine was definitely one of my top priorities. Letting a body like this go to waste would have been a tragedy.

Blaise: But to answer your question, I'm still not entirely used to this body yet, and honestly, I hope I never am. It's fun always feeling surprised, you know? I'll just be going about my day and then I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and remember that holy shit, I'm a fucking stud, and I get excited all over again. It hits me at the strangest times.

Blaise: Muscles are cool because they're like... they're always there, you know? I get a little show every time I look down. And the thing about it is- I'm not bragging, this is just a fact -I'm so ripped now that a bit of bulging is inescapable. People are always saying that I'm a tease but half the time I don't even realize that I'm doing it, it's just a side effect of existing while being this hot.

Arsenio: Damn, and here I thought you were doing this especially for me. Well, it's nice to see that fame hasn't gone to your head!

Blaise: Haha, I mean, when the head looks this good, I can afford it!

Arsenio: I can't argue with that, that is one big beautiful head you've got there. Blaise really is just a stunning man.

Blaise: Aren't I? It's great. I was kinda nervous when I started being active on Blaise's accounts because at first I felt like I was impostor or something like that, but I knew I had to keep posting because people deserved to see this face. I get a lot of hate comments from people saying "you shouldn't be doing this" and stuff like that, but I block them out and focus on the positive ones. There's a lot more of those anyways.

Blaise: It sounds shallow but like, as a hot guy, I hold a lot of power. I've been on the other side of the screen, looking through it at those gorgeous faces, so I'm very aware what an important escape a bit of thirst content can be. Now that I have this face, this body, I can make so many people happy just by taking some clothes off and posting a picture. Why wouldn't I want to do that?

Blaise: That's why the content shifted. Less comedy videos, more thirst, workout videos, photoshoots- the stuff people really wanted to see all along. I love sharing the gift of this body with the world.

Blaise: I don't take anything for granted anymore, I live my life to the fullest, and I want to invite all of my followers into that. Especially after everything the world has been through since the shift, I want people to be able to open up their phone, see this sexy smile, and know that it's possible to still be happy. That there's still beauty in the world.

Arsenio: Oh my god, Blaise, I didn't expect us to be getting so deep on this episode.

Blaise: Hey, I'm more than just a pretty face... I've got a great ass too.

Arsenio: That you do, Blaise, that you do. So, Blaise, let's lighten the mood a bit and jump to one of our listener's favorite sections- and if you've listened to the show before you know what I'm going to ask you next. What's your favorite part of being in your new body?

Blaise: My favorite part? I'll give you two guesses.

Blaise: I love being a walking, talking gun show. Like I look down and I just think wow, I get to own these arms.

Arsenio: Yeah those are some killer pipes man.

Blaise: Dude you have no idea, I'm so fucking strong now. I'm still not over how like... round they are? It's like someone shoved a football under my skin, they tear my shirts if I'm not careful. I'm never gonna get tired of watching them flex.

Blaise: Every part of this body is great actually but I wanna give a special shoutout to my thighs actually- I'm thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. I just love having some meat on these bones, you know? I never skip a leg day.

Arsenio: Oh trust me, I can tell. And Blaise, you know I gotta ask because it's the question everyone's dying to know the answer to... how big is it?

Blaise: I'm gonna have to plead the fifth on that one actually- I'm currently in talks with a few different studios that have some ideas about how we can unveil that particular part of my new brand. But... let's just say that Blaise was a big boy, and he didn't disappoint. It's hard for me to make it through the day without fondling myself all the time, pun very much intended.

Blaise: This is so embarrassing but I actually had trouble pissing when I first got this body because every time I whipped my dick out to piss I'd get a boner from the sight of it- it's a grower, I'll tell you that much.

Arsenio: Damn, well, there you have it listeners! An exclusive!

Blaise: Oh god, I can just hear my publicist in my head screaming at me right now. Can you edit that out?

Arsenio: No, no, we are definitely leaving that in! This is the kind of content the people want to hear.

Blaise: Haha, well, I'm always happy to give the people what they want. But yeah, if you're really curious about what little Blaise looks like, keep an eye on my socials. Big things on the horizon... very big.

Arsenio: We'll be sure to put links to your accounts in the episode description. Moving on, I feel like I know the answer but here's one that we ask everybody: if you could switch back to your old body, would you?

Blaise: ...Sorry, what? I got distracted for a second.

Arsenio: Yeah, that's what I thought. Anyways, Blaise, you know what's more exciting than waking up to find yourself in the body of a famous hunk? Today's sponsor, Squarespace...

[alwaysonthemend]

A Night of Revelry | JTK

Author's Note: Here it is! My second GVF fic! This one got away from me a little bit and ended up a lot longer than I meant it to be. But oh well, Jake just has that effect on me. Again, this is unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

Summary: The boys are finally back home on a hiatus from tour and are enjoying some much needed rest and recovery. A dinner party at the Kiszka's house leads to you and Jake admitting some long kept secrets to each other. A night of revelry, indeed.

Content Warnings: Fem!reader, mentions of being drunk, fingering (f. receiving), hand jobs (f. receiving), p. in v. sex, unprotected sex (ya'll know better!) swearing, dom Jakey (yes, that's a warning) 18+ MINORS DNI

Word Count: 4544

Preview:

“Since you want to cum so bad,” Jake says with a dangerous smile gracing his lips, “you’re going to come over here and ride my thigh. And I’m going to sit here and watch as you make yourself come apart. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

From the very first moment that you met Jake, the man had been an enigma. He was quiet – content to allow others to fill the silence for him. At first, you’d mistaken his reservedness for shyness. But as you got to know him, you found that he is by no means a shy man. He’s quiet, sure. But he’s confident in himself. Confident to dress as he wishes and to like the things he does without a care in the world. From there, you had assumed that his quietness must be a result of growing up in a household with Josh. Josh loves to talk and you had figured that Jake was simply allowing him to do so. And for a time, that was that. Jake was the moon to Josh’s sun and was simply content to let others fill the silence for him.

But as you started to spend more time with him, you discovered that he wasn’t always that quiet. When he’s around his brothers, or Danny, or other close friends and family, Jake has a wicked sense of humor that can have the whole room clutching their sides with laughter. His dry sarcasm and witty rebuttals are unmatched – even by Josh. Not only is Jake hilarious, you soon discovered, but he loves to talk if it’s about the right subjects. He’ll talk for ages about films he likes or dislikes, or he’ll go on rants about things he reads, or podcasts he listens to. And of course he’ll talk for ages about his music. His eyes light up when he’s excited about a topic, and in those moments, you can see the same animatedness and excitement that his twin has. 

The first time you saw Jake play on stage, you saw yet another side of him that you had never seen before. Seeing him up on that stage changed something in you. He commanded attention. From the way he threw his head back as he played to the way he muttered under his breath to his guitar, everything about the man oozed confidence and sex appeal. You’d gone into the show with a growing crush on him, but you left completely head over heels for the man. Time passes, and you only find yourself more and more in love with him as the days go on. And as much as you want more than just friendship, you figure that it’s best to keep your burgeoning feelings to yourself. Jake is a sweetheart – always showing you kindness whenever the two of you hang out. But he’s so out of your league it’s almost funny. He’s a goddamn rockstar, for goodness sake! He could get just about any woman in the world if he really wanted to and you’re fairly confident that out of all of them, you wouldn't be the top choice. 

There are times when you think that maybe, just maybe, he might have feelings for you too. He’s always so attentive to you when you spend time with him – remembering little things that you tell him and always seeming to know when you’re having a bad day. And every now and again he brushes his fingertips over yours when he hands you something or his hand will ghost over your waist when he passes. But you try not to linger on those moments too much. He’s a gentleman who always makes the people around him feel at ease and you realize that it’s just the way Jake is. He’s too kind for his own good (and your own good) so you do your best to push the feelings down.

It’s nights like this night, though, that make crushing those feelings down so difficult. Tours are on a temporary hiatus and the band members are back home for some much needed R & R. And tonight, Karen had invited all of the Kiszka siblings, Danny, and several other family members and friends over for an intimate night of stories and spending time with one another. Dinner had been loud and exciting – as all meals with the Kiszkas are, and now the guests are all intermingling amongst themselves as the sun sets into night. Some are inside, polishing off the dessert and staying out of the summer heat. Others are gathered outside around the fire, sharing stories as Jake and Sam gently strum on their guitars. Naturally, you find yourself gravitating towards where Jake is. You’d just spent a good 30 minutes talking inside with Danny about whether Kurt Cobain actually wanted to kill himself or if he was just trying to get away from Courtney Love (you favor the latter), but now you’re feeling that familiar tug in your chest that always stirs whenever you’re away from Jake for too long. There’s a part of you that’s embarrassed for how attached to Jake you’ve become. You’re independent and consider yourself to be a fairly rational individual, but there’s something about Jake that makes all that fly out the window. You want – no, you need to be close to him. He’s gone so much during the year and you miss him like a limb that’s been chopped off. His absence aches with phantom pains and you figure that you deserve the reprieve of spending time with him while he’s here. 

You take a seat in one of the empty lawn chairs next to him and he gives you a small, private smile, before turning back to Ronnie as she tells a story. His cheeks are flushed with alcohol and his dark, wide brimmed hat lies discarded at his feet. You tune everyone out, and instead allow yourself to watch Jake’s fingers as he plays the guitar. No matter how many times you see and hear him play, his talent never fails to make you feel all warm inside. He loves his music, and his playing reflects that love. It’s like he’s sharing a piece of himself with you all – and you’re thankful that you get to hear it like this. He’s beautiful. That’s the only word you can think of to describe the way he looks right now. 

“You alright?” He asks, noticing the absent look in your eyes. 

“Hm?” Your eyes snap up from his hands to his eyes. “Oh. Ya, I’m good. Just tired, is all.” You can feel your cheeks grow hot as there’s no way he didn’t see you staring at him. 

“Too much alcohol, darling?” He laughingly says in his fake British accent that he’s so fond of. 

“Yeah,” you laugh in relief, thankful for the easy excuse. “Drank a little too much wine, I think.” 

He smiles and immediately you feel at ease again. 

“Happens to the best of us.” He says wistfully, back in his normal accent. “I myself have also partaken a little too much tonight.” 

“You?” You gasp dramatically, “Jacob Kiszka drinking too much? I’m shocked.” 

He laughs and shakes his head. 

“I know. It’s not like me at all.” 

You both turn your attention back to the rest of the group as Josh stands up and dramatically tells a story about something or other, though you still are entirely too aware of Jake’s presence next to you. He puts his guitar down and helps himself to another generous glass of bourbon as the night goes on. The night bleeds from too late into too early and you feel the tendrils of sleep beginning to cloud your thoughts. You stopped drinking a while ago and your buzz from earlier in the night has all but disappeared. You stare into the fire, the warmth from the flame coupled with the voices of your friends lulling you into a relaxed trance. 

“Care to join me for a smoke?” Jake asks, startling you from your reverie. 

“You know I don’t smoke.” You scold him lightly. 

“I know.” He says, rising from his seat and extending his hand towards you. “Join me anyways?” 

You nod and take his hand, allowing him to lead you around the front of the house to a more secluded area. From here, you can just barely make out the voices of the others as you round the corner out of eyesight. Jake leans back against the house and turns his face up to the sky. He looks painfully beautiful like that. You swallow and look away. 

“Thought we were coming over here so you could smoke.” You say, following his line of sight up to the sky. 

“Changed my mind.” He shrugged, turning to look at you. “Come next to me.” 

You pin him with a confused stare but comply. You walk over and lean your own shoulder against the house, careful to leave space between the two of you. 

“I’m glad you could be here tonight. I missed you while we were gone.” He’s looking back at the sky now and you take a moment to watch him. His cheeks are still flushed and his hair is pulled back in a loose bun. You don’t respond for a moment, carefully choosing your next words. 

“I’m sure you missed being home with all the craziness of being on the road.” You finally say. “I’m glad you all are back. It gets boring here without you guys to cause chaos.” You laugh, looking back up to the sky. 

Jake turns to you suddenly and grabs your arm. 

“No, seriously,” He says, staring at you in the moonlight. “I missed you.” 

You turn to look at him and he’s pinning you with that stare that makes you feel like he’s looking right through you – seeing every single thought that runs through your mind. 

“I missed you too, Jake. More than you know.” 

He lets go of your arm, seemingly content that the urgentness of his words were heard. 

“I hate having to leave you here when we go,” he says, “I miss you so damn much.” 

You turn to look at him and he does the same, his dark eyes locking with yours, You don’t really know how to respond. Hearing him say that to you makes your heart flutter in your chest. But you’re wary, too – wary of reading into his words wrong. That little spark of hope rears its head and it’s all you can do not to lean over and kiss him right then and there. 

“I hate it too, Jake.” You whisper, afraid to speak into whatever it is that's just taken place between the two of you. But before you have time to process what’s happening, Jake presses his soft lips to yours. You’re so stunned that you don’t kiss him back and he pulls back wide eyed. 

“I’m sorry.. I- I don’t know why I did that without asking first. I-” His eyes are filled with embarrassment and you can’t help but feel bad for him. 

“It’s okay, Jake.” You interrupt him.” I just don’t want you to do something that you’ll regret in the morning.” You take a breath to try and steady your heart rate as Jake stares at you. 

“So, you didn’t kiss me back because you think I’m too drunk?” He asks slowly, seemingly trying to process your words. 

You sigh. It hurt before, but hearing him say it out loud made the sting all the more painful. 

“Yes, Jake. You’re my best friend. I don’t want to lose our friendship over a drunken mistake.” There’s a small, hopeless little part of you that wants to say ‘fuck it’ and kiss him again anyway – even if he’ll regret it in the morning. Because deep down you know that this is the last chance you’ll ever get. You shove the little voice down. 

“We can just act like this never happened.” You assure him. 

“And what if I hadn’t been drinking before this?” He asks. “Would you have done the same?” 

You purse your lips and look away. The pain of this whole situation is settling into your bones, heavy as lead. 

“It doesn’t really matter, Jake.” You say honestly. “Whatever you’re feeling right now, it isn’t real.” 

Jake looks at you and his eyes carry a hurt in them that you’d never seen before. You want to look away – run away even, if it meant that you wouldn’t have to see that look in his eyes again. 

“I know it’s real, y/n. I may have been drinking, but it hasn’t given me feelings that weren’t already there.” He lets out a shaky breath. “The bourbon just gave me a little more courage to do something about these feelings.”

Your mind is awash with thousands upon thousands of thoughts and feelings. Hope, excitement, disbelief, fear; they all swirl through your mind so quickly you can barely catch hold of any of them. The thought that he might have feelings for you feels absurd. He’s Jake fucking Kiszka. It’s too good to be true. 

“You promise me?” You beg, practically shaking with all the emotions running through your mind. “Please, Jake. I can’t take it if this is just you getting caught up in the moment.” And it’s the truth. If this isn’t real, you doubt you’ll be able to survive it. 

“Answer my question first…” He says, stepping closer to you. “If I hadn’t been drinking and I kissed you, what would you do?” Jake’s eyes are shiny in the moonlight – his expression open and hopeful. 

Oh, fuck it. 

“I would kiss you back.” 

“Oh thank fuck.” He says, before crushing his lips to yours again. This time, you don’t hesitate to reciprocate, opening your mouth and allowing him to explore your mouth with his tongue. You feel dizzy with excitement and disbelief. You’re making out with the guy you thought you could never have and holy shit, it’s better than you ever dreamed it would be. 

“I promise you,” he says in between kisses, “that this is real. Realer than anything I’ve ever known.” 

Jake brings his palms up to cup your cheeks and you place your hands on his shoulders to draw him closer to you. The smell of bourbon and vanilla floods your nose as he presses his chest to yours. He pulls away and you let out an embarrassing whine. He stares at you – his brown eyes swirling with passion. 

“Y/n,” he says quietly, “what do you want?” 

You take a moment to drink in his appearance. He looks incredible with his hair pulled back. His trademark silver necklaces rest against his collarbone and his cream colored dress shirt is unbuttoned all the way down to his stomach. There’s a glisten to his skin from the summer heat and you’re struck with the sudden desire to taste its saltiness. 

“I want you to touch me, Jake.” You plead. 

He gives you a smirk and his eyes dance with mischief and excitement. 

“Come inside. My room.” He laces his fingers with yours and the two of you slip inside, completely unnoticed by the merry crowd outside. You skirt around the kitchen where everyone else still resides and you both bound up the stairs to Jake’s old room. 

Stepping into Jake’s old room feels personal. You’ve been in here before, but it still feels like you’re seeing something you’re not supposed to. The walls are covered in music posters, with artists from Cream to John Lee Hooker. The room smells like Jake – if a little faint, and several old guitars sit leaned against the wall. You stand in the middle of the room, suddenly overwhelmed. 

“Y/n?” Jake asks, coming to stand beside you as he places a warm hand on your shoulder. 

You look at him, taking in his beautiful features in the darkness of the room. The only light source coming from the moonlight spilling through the window. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, concern replacing the desire that had filled his eyes just moments before. 

“Yes, of course! I just-” You trail off, unsure how to put your feelings into words. 

“Y/n, I swear that I’m not that drunk. I’m a little tipsy, for sure. But I know what I want. I want you.” 

“I want you too, Jake. I do. This all just,” you wave your hands in a vague motion between the two of you, “this all just doesn’t feel real. I’ve spent so long thinking this was never a possibility and now I’m just a little overwhelmed to be honest.” You look down at your feet. This is all just too much to process in such a short amount of time. 

Jake walks over to his bed and takes a seat, gesturing for you to do the same. You follow, sinking down heavily beside him. 

“Look at me.” He says, placing his index beneath your chin to turn your face towards him. “Why can’t you believe that I want this?” He asks, a small hint of a smile ghosting his lips. 

“I just never thought that someone like you would be interested in someone… like me.” You say honestly. 

Jake furrows his brows at you. 

“Someone like me?” He grins and you can see the spit on his lips glisten in the dark. “Is it because I’m a rockstar? Super famous? Thousands of screaming fans all across the globe?” 

You scoff and nudge your shoulder into his playfully. 

“Not helpful at all. But yes, I guess so.” 

You both sit in silence for a moment. Your body is thrumming with nervous energy. 

“I’m not sure what I can say to convince you that I want you, y/n.” He says into the dark, eyes trained on the wall opposite the two of you. “I’ve always been drawn to you. Your smile, the way your eyes light up when you talk about things that excite you…” He turns to look at you now, his expression soft. “But this last leg of the tour, y/n…It was worse than usual. I missed you so damn much. I couldn’t ignore this any longer.” 

“You promise?” 

“I promise.” His eyes are full of truth. You see no lie in them. “Tell me if you want to stop, y/n.” 

You nod and allow him to push your back into the bed. He grips your thighs and spreads your knees apart before settling between them. You reach behind him and pull the hair tie from his hair, allowing it to fall freely to his shoulders. He chuckles and kisses you again, much softer now than before.

“Let me show you how real this is.” He whispers. 

“Please, Jake. Whatever you want.”

That seems to be all the permission he needs as he swiftly lifts your shirt above your head before sliding your skirt down your thighs. You reach out with shaky fingers and undo the few buttons that he had bothered to fasten, and you slide his shirt down and off his shoulders. Jake attaches his lips to your neck, leaving warm kisses down your throat. You moan and paw at the belt of his pants, desperate to feel more of him against you. 

“Patience, love.” He laughs as he unhooks your bra and throws it to the floor. “I want to make you cum first. We’ll get to me later.” 

He dips his hand into the waistband of your panties and slides them down. You kick them off as they pool around your ankles. Jake brings a calloused finger to your pussy, swiping through the wetness gathered there. 

“So wet…” he purrs, “All this for me?” 

“Only for you, Jake. Only for you.” 

You whine as his talented fingers begin to circle your swollen clit, just the way you had always imagined him doing when you watch him play guitar. He keeps his pace slow, teasing you and drawing out your pleasure. 

“Do you know how many times I’ve dreamed of this, y/n?” Jake asks as he begins to pick up his pace. His fingertips are rough, but the friction is so good you can barely think straight. 

“I dream about this pussy all the time – I dream about seeing you like this, all desperate and needy, and I wake up so hard it hurts.” He sinks his middle finger into you slowly, while his thumb continues in lazy circles on your clit. He crooks his finger inside you, brushing against your walls in a way that makes you arch your back in pleasure. He smiles, and slowly inserts his ring finger into you as well, pumping in and out of you slowly. 

You whine and buck your hips up to meet his hand, desperate for more. The sound of his voice, gruff with lust, is sending shocks of arousal straight to your core. 

“Jake, please,” you beg, as he curls his fingers inside you, “stop teasing.”

He laughs lowly but doesn’t give you anything more. 

“Use your words, sweetheart. Tell me what you want.”

“You know what I want.” Your voice is shaky and comes out in practically a whine. “Stop teasing. You already know.”

“Wanna hear you say it. Wanna hear those filthy things coming out of that pretty mouth.” 

He’s unrelenting in his teasing. You’re so close, but he won’t give you that last bit that you need to finally snap the coil building in your belly. 

“Please, Jake.” You moan, “Need to cum so bad. Need you to make me cum.” 

He grins and you think that he’s finally going to give you what you want. But he doesn’t. Instead he sits up, pulling his fingers from you, and leans back on the headboard, leaving you laying there confused. 

“Jake?” You ask as you sit up, feeling the wetness of your pussy leak down between your thighs. 

“Since you want to cum so bad,” he says with a dangerous smile gracing his lips, “you’re going to come over here and ride my thigh. And I’m going to sit here and watch as you make yourself come apart. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?” 

You nod, breathless. You crawl your way over to him and swing one leg obediently over his thigh. You can see his cock straining in his pants and your mouth waters at the sight. Next time, you know that you want to taste it. You slowly ease your aching pussy down onto his leg and roll your hips experimentally, dragging your clit against the fabric of his pants. 

“There you go, sweet girl.” Jake praises. He grips your ass with both hands, digging his fingers hard into your flesh. He’s looking up at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. You roll your hips again and start up a steady pace, the friction exactly what you needed. Jake slides one hand up to your breasts, circling and pinching at your raised nipples. His other hand stays where it is, solidly gripping your ass and keeping you grounded as you ride his thigh into oblivion. You quicken your pace as he mutters encouragement under his breath and your orgasm crashes through you like a tidal wave, and you moan his name loudly as you ride your way through the pleasure. You slip off from him and collapse onto your back next to him. 

“Jesus Christ, you look gorgeous like that.” He says as he rises from his seated position. “Such a needy, desperate little girl, aren’t you?” He says as he unbuckles his belt and slips out of his pants. He leans over you and brushes a strand of your hair away from your face and tucks it behind your ear – the softness of the gesture a stark contrast to his dominant words from before. 

“Kiss me.” You say, not at all embarrassed by the neediness of your request. 

“I’ll kiss you a thousand times if it’ll make you believe me when I say that you’re the only woman I could ever want. I want you, y/n. More than anything else in my entire life.”

“I want you too, Jake. Since I met you, I’ve wanted this. Just never thought I could have it.”

“Well, you have it.” He says, brushing his lips over yours. “You have me. And now I’m going to fuck you just to prove it even more.” He pulls his boxers down his hips, allowing his hard cock to spring free. You gulp. He’s big – bigger than anyone else you’d ever seen. 

“On your hands and knees, sweet girl.” Jake says as he pumps his cock a few times. You comply and groan loudly as he sinks his length into you slowly. He bottoms out and pauses, allowing you time to adjust. The coldness of his necklaces on your back feel good against your heated skin. 

“Move, Jakey. Need you to move. Now.” You say as you press your face into the pillow. 

Jake grasps your hips firmly and begins a brutal pace, pistoning his hips into yours. You moan loudly as he groans into your ear. 

“God, you’re so fucking tight, y/n.” His thrusts are fast and hard, rocking your entire body forward with each one. He feels so good you can hardly even think straight. All your thoughts are entirely consumed with Jake, Jake, Jake. 

“Don’t stop, J. ‘m so close.” You can feel your orgasm rapidly approaching and you start to rock your hips back to meet Jake’s thrusts. He wraps one arm around your belly, pulling you tighter to him as he picks up his pace even more. Your face is buried in his pillow, desperately trying to muffle your cries from the other occupants of the house. 

“Gonna cum for me, baby? Gonna cum on my cock?” Jake asks, as he drops his hand to circle your clit in time with his thrusts. 

“Jacob!” You wail as you finally cum, legs shaking as it tears through you. Your eyes are watering and your vision whites out from the sheer pleasure. Jake’s thrusts are erratic, desperate. 

“Say it again, y/n. Gonna cum in your tight, little pussy.” 

“Jacob- please.” You moan at the overstimulation and that’s all he needs. 

“Oh fuuuuck.” He groans as he spills inside you, breathing ragged in your ear. 

He pulls out of you, and you collapse to your stomach, utterly spent. 

“Stay there, sweetheart.” He mutters as he rises to get a wet washcloth. He returns quickly and you roll onto your back. He cleans you up softly, careful on your abused clit and pussy. He hangs the washcloth on his nightstand and crawls into the bed next to you. Placing a kiss to your forehead, he pulls the blankets up and over the both of you. 

“That was… incredible.” You sigh, exhaustion hitting you like a brick wall. You lay your head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. 

“You’re incredible.” He says quietly, voice so soft compared to before. “I meant what I said, you know?” 

You glance up to look at him. He’s got that look in his chocolate brown eyes again – the one that makes you feel like he’s looking right through you. 

“There isn’t anyone else that I would rather be with than you, y/n. It’s not just about sex, as incredible as that was. I want you. As much of you as you’re willing to give me.” 

You press your lips to his in a sweet kiss. 

“I believe you. I want it all with you, Jake.” 

He huffs out a small laugh and kisses you again. 

“Thank fuck.” 

“Mmm.” You hum in agreement, closing your eyes and nuzzling into him. “My rockstar.” 

You miss the adoring smile Jake gives as you fall asleep. 

[lmskitty]

I think one of the things I love most about family AU satosugu ATM is just because of the way the canon went we never got to see characters have normal happy lives and I love thinking about that. I adore @ziyuanyuan1113 art for this reason (among many). All those perfect little normal family moments that never got to be.

So here's my fave headcanons atm ( @thequeenofsarcaasm and @uotuok might notice a few we discussed today 😅)

Geto and Nanako have dad daughter time where they watch reality TV. Geto is the cattiest bitch known to man and is always horrifically brutal about the show and Nanako loves it. Megumi always says reality TV is garbage and he would never watch it but he always somehow ends up making his coffee in the kitchen the exact moment it's on and stands there making comments. If they mention how he seems to be rather invested he will leave without a word so now they make no comment on him.

When the kids are quite young Gojo comes home to find Tsumiki, Nanako and Mimiko in princess dresses and Geto wearing a crown with his hair being braided. Megumi hands Gojo a crown and explains that they're two films deep into a princess party and have just watched Tangled and he wants to kill them all, he has also been forced into a princess dress. Gojo instantly puts on the crown. Days later they catch Megumi singing "I've got a dream" to himself as he plays with his toys despite having described the princess party as traumatising.

Shoko is a big part of the kids lives, she takes them out when Geto has his therapy appointments and Gojo is on a mission, she spends long weekends with them when she can and her and their group chat is filled with pictures of the kids being adorable or memes.

Geto and Gojo get into routines and home life after years of arguing about household chores. Gojo has to be taught how to tidy properly and constantly forgets. It is always somehow the dishwasher that is the main culprit as he always forgets to check if something is dishwasher safe and he has unfortunately destroyed so many of their kitchen items.

Geto and Gojo do skin care routines together and love relaxing and listening to murder podcasts while they give each other manicures/pedicures, Gojo used to get it all done professionally but much prefers the time with his husband though they keep figuring out the murders are definitely just local curses in their podcasts so that ruins it a bit. Megumi caught Geto sorting out Gojo's ingrown toenail in the front room once and told them to get a room, a disgusted look on his face as Gojo yelled that they did, they'd paid for the whole house actually???

The satosugu house has a family dinner night once a month which everyone attends including Megumi who moved out to be at Jujutsu high. This is usually done by Tsumiki and Gojo as they love doing recipes together from Pinterest and cooking together. The twins are not great at cooking. Nanako cannot make toast without burning it, Mimiko finds it stressful and doesn't like to try. Megumi on the other hand is amazing at cooking but finds his family too loud as there is always music and Geto and Gojo dancing together and embarrassing him.

Later down the line Megumi finds his favourite method of cooking is he and Yuji in their kitchen in their flat with lofi on in the background, enjoying each others company. He finds he doesn't mind the noise or even dancing so long as it's just him and Yuji, and sometimes Nobara if she's staying over. (Nobara is not allowed to cook. She causes fires)

[13thdoctorposts]

At some point 13 fans needs to actually put the numbers to paper on the era's audience numbers, because my recollection is that they're perfectly on par and at times even better than Capaldi's and several of the latest specials. I'm tired of haters whining about 'everyone hated it' when they mean misogynists targeted it and boycotted it from the very instance of a rumour that 13 would be a woman.

Peter Nolan from Blogtor Who did a post on the numbers after the airing of Power of the Doctor, in one section of the post he compares the Whittaker and Capaldi eras…

“It’s remarkable then, that the Whittaker era of Doctor Who is overall on course not only to retain the audience it was given, but actually very slightly grow it. The average Thirteenth Doctor was watched by 4.67m viewers, up 0.12m (2.6%) on the 4.55m average of the Twelfth Doctor. It’s median viewing figure of 4.21m, meanwhile, is 0.34m (7.4%) lower than Capaldi’s, representing the boost Whittaker’s average is given by the large audiences for her first series. But overall, we haven’t seen Doctor Who just do a respectable job all things considered. Rather, it actually got ratings that would be good a decade ago.”

You can check out the whole article here https://www.blogtorwho.com/doctor-who-power-of-the-doctor-viewing-figures/?amp=1

As you can see the Whittier era did quite well especially when considering it had to fight to get through the Pandemic, which people seem to like to act like isn’t a big deal with their revisionist history of how difficult that time actually was. Not only were millions dying and getting sick, people were losing their jobs and lock downs were keeping people at home and a number of parents learnt how hard it was to home school your child even with a teacher on zoom, some while also having to work full time at home. This isn’t to mention the ridiculous amount of restrictions on how they could make the show and keep everyone safe. Sadly they also just didn’t have budget, it was why they needed Disney to come in. In the Who Corner to Corner podcast Chibs talks about how he wanted to do a new years special after Flux but was told there was no budget and he couldn’t do it but he wanted there to be a new year special so he ask if he used monster from the cupboard (a couple daleks they had sitting there) a warehouse and only 2 guest stars could he do it and they still told him they didn’t think so but he told them they were doing it and then we got Eve of the Daleks, one of my fav episodes of the run.

This goes to show the show was struggling to afford to make episodes it had no real money for marketing. If series 12 and Flux got the marketing series 11 did of course we would have seen even bigger numbers but Chibs stated in his Radio Free Skaro podcast from Gally One in 2023 that the only marketing budget they had after series 11 was marketing that could be done on the BBC that’s extremely limiting. They also didn’t have a brand manager unlike all previous eras. If you can afford a brand manager you’re not going to choose to not have one and having one probably would have also help quite a bit.

It’s not 2008 anymore, even Tennent couldn’t pull his 2008 numbers and that was with the big Disney budget to make the show and market the show, and they had a year to market the show and the most well known Doctor, so considering that vs what Chibs had to work with the Whittaker era is a solid era of Doctor Who. It just came at a time when the Budget was struggling, and the TV landscape was changing along with a campaign to try and destroy it before it began simply because they chose a Woman to be the Doctor, as demonstrated by the fact the BBC had to release a press statement backing Whittakers casting and the change to a Female Doctor. And that did have a snow ball effect of people picking everything apart to an insane level they do not do with any of the episodes from the male Doctors episodes a lot of which could be seen as far more problematic.

All this to say could the numbers had been better? Yes, if they had budget to market the show the way it needs to be marketed in a landscape with a million competing shows on far more streaming services than there were regular channels back in the day. But did the show do well with the limited resources it had. Also Yes.

[autismprotocol]

TMAGP Theory Board (Episode 8-9)

Hi guys sorry about the missed week of theory crafting my schoolwork has been extra demanding and I haven't been able to get around to updating the board until now so here's the updated board

Episode 8 especially was insane so I'm gonna break the episode breakdown into two sections.

What Happened in Episode 8: Running On Empty

New Norris Statement! it's been a while since we heard from our buddy and he did not disappoint. though there's not much to say story-wise this was just a cool incident report I loved the way they described the Lonely as a constantly hungry entity. I also noticed that the pattern of Norris's statements having to do with lost love continues to be true. it's much more subtle than his previous two incidents but the statement giver does mention losing his wife because of divorce. which I believe still follows the pattern I've theorized is taking place. 

Something up with Alice. She seems more depressed and serious than she usually is in this episode. (through episode 9 I think I know why but I'll get to that later. I don't believe she is completely in the dark like some of the newer employees and after hearing about Gwen's promotion she is getting suspicious. we have yet to know if Alice knows what's happening. but her behavior in this episode might give us a hint about how naive she actually is.

Colin is Absent. After his freakout in EP 7, Colin is MIA. according to Lena, he's on a mental health break but I would not be surprised if that is a lie.

Gerry and Gertrude are Alive!! Probably the most exciting development in this episode was meeting an alive Gerry Keay and Gertrude Robison. Sam is on the hunt for info about the Magnus Institute after the emails Jon has been sending him and he and Celia end up meeting Gerry who in this universe is considerably more happy and lives with Gertrude. I'm interested to know what role Gertrude plays in this universe is she at all connected to the Institute? I definitely think something is up with her because of the way she tries to deflect Sam's question to Gerry.

Celia Lore. after the meeting with Gerry leads to a dead end for Sam, Celia asks him to help her with her mystery. "I'm trying to look into... Weird physics stuff: time travel, other dimensions, teleportation" More proof for this Celia being from from Archives. why else would she be looking into other dimensions specifically if she wasn't trying to figure out what happened at the Panopticon. (Remember as far as we know Celia before the change in Archives was just a normal person she had no connection to the entities or the Institute.) when Sam asks, she says it's for her friend's podcast but I think she's lying. or not telling the full truth.

Georgie Barker Perhaps? speaking of the friend. our last reveal of the episode is Georgie in protocol. I don't think she is from Archives because Georgie appears after Jons's sacrifice in MAG 200. 

And thats it for episode 8 so im gonna move on to Episode 9

What happened in Episode 9: Rolling With It

Sam is back to filling out onboarding paperwork but the questions on it are strange. asking about past traumas, how many dead things you've seen recently, and the infamous question why? similar types of questions that appear in TMA job interviews.

A Magnus Statement!?! After Celia tells Sam she can't find anything at the Magnus Institute Sam considers cutting his losses and letting it go. But then Chester without any prompting begins reading a Magnus statement incident to Sam. I still believe Chester is Jon and he acts as a mentor to Sam trying to keep him safe by providing him with bits of the answers he's looking for. (this way Sam won't be in danger of looking for answers elsewhere and maybe he won't be targeted by this unknown force that had killed RedCanary and driven Colin to extreme paranoia.) the statement reveals that the institute collected and stored artifacts much like the Institute in Archives. 

What's the deal with the Institute? the statement Chester shares this episode is pretty standard Magnus stuff, magic fear dice is just another Thursday for TMAG enjoyers. but what I found most interesting was the pre-statement info. What does this viability survey mean? viable for what? I and my roommate have a kind of joke theory that the Institute in this universe is a hub for training and creating new avatars but now I'm starting to think this might actually be the case. I think they are looking for people who have the potential to become avatars as subjects. for the agents, they might be employing avatars to work for the institute and the catalyst has to be finding an avatar that can complete the ritual and bring the Change. The unknown statement giver in this episode can't be a subject because they are already claimed by a power from the dice (still unsure what power it is ) they have low potential to become an agent because based on the end of the statement they now want nothing to do with the dice stepping away from their identity as a fear avatar and then dying. and for some reason, the institute must see some potential that this individual can serve as a catalyst for the ritual. I'm hopeful we'll get another avatar statement and maybe we can revisit this Viability survey again 

Gwen's First assignment. Gwen gets her first Liason assignment and it has brought up a major player from the protocol ARG. Mr Bonzo is this weird mascot character that showed up multiple times in the ARG that was launched back in the fall of 2023. Gwen is tasked with delivering an envelope with a name and address to Nigel Dickerson someone who according to Gwen is known for Mr. Bonzo. Basically, I have no idea where this is going but I definitely think it must be important. 

Poor Alice. Alice meets with Teddy to catch up. Nothing story significant happens here but we do learn that maybe Alice still harbors some romantic feelings towards Sam.

The Ruins. After her conversation with Teddy Alice is approached by Sam with a request. He wants to go to the old Magnus Institute ruins and wants Alice to come with him. This is definitely a bad idea but she agrees and that's where we leave off

and thats it for now. The story is getting so good and I'm already attached to all the characters so im terrified to see what Sam and alice dig up at the ruins (Sam clearly didn't heed the warning of the RedCanary)

[mlmshipbracket]

ROUND 1: POLL #2

ROUND 1 ALL POLLS [HERE]

PROPAGANDA BELOW

Astarion Ancunín/Wyll Ravengard:

Wyll and Astarion play out as a story of parallels and contrasts. 

Wyll is a monster hunter, and Astarion is a vampire. However, Wyll can be surprisingly reasonable when he learns of Astarion's true nature, to the point that he makes a "pact" with a player character Astarion to not hunt him if Astarion promises not to drink from innocents.

Both Astarion and Wyll are trapped in a relationship with an abuser--Astarion with his vampire sire, Cazador, and Wyll with the devil he contracted with to receive his powers as a warlock, Mizora. (Spoiler: Both Cazador and Mizora cause monsters transformations in Astarion and Wyll.) The way the two react to their bondage contrasts in interesting ways: Astarion latches onto behaving selfishly, his centuries of slavery without any aid convincing him that he needs to focus on gaining power to protect himself, no matter the cost. Wyll responds to his own abuse by clinging to his folk hero persona, the Blade of Frontiers, leading to him being selfless to the point of great personal cost--at one point in the story, Wyll can choose to (spoilers: be bound into his contract with Mizora for an eternity to save his father--the father that banished him from Baldur's Gate at the age of 17 because of his contract.) There's a good chance for them to push each other away from the extremes of selfishness and selflessness to end up more toward the middle, particularly if you choose one of them as the player character. (Spoilers: Astarion can be talked out of sacrificing 700 souls in a demonic ritual to become the Vampire Ascendant with a charisma check, and Wyll's highest stat is charisma. If you're playing as Astarion, you can offer to use your past as a magistrate to try to help Wyll get out of his contract, and it's pretty in character for him to argue against giving up on ever breaking free from it to save Wyll's father.)

The way their romance paths play out also have an interesting mix of contrast and parallels. Astarion is an incorrigible flirt and very quickly pursues a sexual relationship with the player character as long as he reaches a relatively low approval score threshold, while Wyll refuses sex in his romance until the end, because he wants to have a slow, romantic courtship as portrayed in the bardic tales he loves so much. However, (spoilers: Astarion eventually comes to the realization that being forced to prostitute himself to lure victims for Cazador has damaged his self image and relationship with sex, and admits he was initially seducing a romanced player to try to secure protection for himself. Once he hits that point he asks the player to halt sex in their relationship until he can figure out what he himself actually wants. Between this and dev notes found in the game's script that details that Astarion actually DOES want to have non-sexual intimacy, there's a good argument to be made that Wyll's style of romance is actually much closer to what Astarion truly wants in a relationship.)

Both Astarion and Wyll are attracted to all genders, and make comments indicating attraction to each other. Wyll frequently mentions that he finds Astarion charming and beautiful (particularly commenting on his "well-coiffed" hair), and Astarion immediately responds "Wyll" when asked which party member he wants to drink from the most, and eventually admits (if somewhat derisively) that "Wyll's the sort of prince-type I would have once dreamed of marrying. When I was about thirteen."

And the cherry on top of all of this? You can choose to play the game as either Astarion or Wyll, and romance the other. So you can, in a sense, choose to make this pairing canon, at least in your playthrough.

Juno Steele x Peter Nureyev:

[SPOILER] They're actually insane the had crazy gay sex the second episode and spent the rest of the currently five seasons recovering. They were divorced and then they got married and then they got divorced again and nureyev is trying SO hard to stay divorced but Juno WILL NOT ALLOW IT [END SPOILER] it's all spoilers for everything past the second episode basically

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Maybe I’m Not Scared of What You’re Thinking Of - Simon Lynch/Reader

Prompt: Don't you know what you mean to me?

Warnings: Gender-neutral reader, no use of Y/N, friends to lovers, slow burn, growing friendship, angst, hurt/comfort, brief canon-related mention of violence, kissing, fully clothed grinding, kindness and praise makes Simon cry ;w;

Wordcount: 14270

Summary: It's a complete coincidence that you meet him, and even though he's a little weird and there's an anger in him fueled by pain, you know that you might be all he needs to be defused.

Notes: It's Simon's turn! I have a lot of feelings about Simon!! As soon as I saw his episode my heart went out to him a lot, he's so me-coded (aside from y'know the homicide lmao) and he really only needed someone to believe in him, so here's a whole ton of words about you doing just that QwQ I've also decided that this will be his own continued world like I did with Joshua, so any future stuff will take place during or after this~

You really regret accepting this blind date after the 30th straight minute comes and goes, your date still talking about himself on his side of the table.

He came highly recommended from your mother, the son of a friend of a friend of a co-worker, and it’s clear she did no actual research on him since you have nothing in common. You just keep smiling and sipping at your drink of choice, his words falling on deathly bored ears as he keeps trying to pitch his business to you, something about a private server for paying customers to get his advice or some dumb shit you haven’t seen a million times before. Sometimes you wished you’d been born in the past when things were simpler, because any idiot with a podcast and access to the internet always came to the same conclusion that they could be the Next Great Thing, and this guy definitely does not have what it takes.

He’s about to write down his contact info so you can check out his server right now, right in the middle of your date, his food cold in front of him as he just keeps choosing to talk instead of eat, and you just stare at him tearing off the paper to hand to you as you pray your souring expression isn’t giving you away too much. ‘Uh, sorry, I don’t have Facsimile,’ you lie as he holds it out to you, but it doesn’t dissuade him as he then says it’s super easy to sign up, he’ll help you. ‘No, I mean I’m not one for all these chatting apps, I prefer some good, old fashioned talking,’ you continue, another lie although not quite as much, for while you do prefer talking face to face, hence the date, you had so many chat apps on your phone to keep in contact with everyone that they had their own page on your home screen.

‘It’ll be worth it, trust me, I already have a bunch of guys giving their own presentations on my server, I’ll even give you a free week’s trial to check everything out, whattaya say?’ he asks, clearly more interested in expanding his brand than making any sort of actual connection with you, and this time you let your face scrunch up in pained awkwardness.

‘Yeah, it’s gunna have to be a no, sorry,’ you cringe, and his smile slowly falls as he crumples up the paper and stuffs it inside his expensive name brand jacket, obviously bought to show off to everyone how ‘successful’ he was.

‘Fine, no it’s fine, I just thought you were smarter than that,’ he grumbles just on the border of passive aggressively, your eyebrows rising as your opinion of him somehow manages to drop even lower. ‘You figure you give someone a chance to get in on the ground floor of something because you think you’re vibing, but I guess it was just me.’

‘Uh…’

‘How is everything?’ The small voice draws your attention from him as you look up to your savior, your eyes just going higher as the person towers over you, even when he’s hunched over a bit to take up as little space as possible as his co-workers pass by him to get to the other tables. Your mouth falls open a little bit as your eyes meet, long bangs just barely swept to the side to reveal dark brown irises that almost appear black focusing only on you as he ignores your date, and you forget to answer as the man across from you answers for you.

‘We’re doing great, just fantastic, thanks buddy,’ he growls, now eating his food as quickly as he can so he can get away from you. ‘If you could hurry up and grab the checks though that would be even better.’

‘Is there anything else you’d like? More water, or a refill?’ He completely ignores the other man as he focuses on you, which pisses him off even more, and you join in on that as you smile politely up at him.

‘Everything’s perfect, although I could go for a refill, thank you,’ you tell him, and he gives you a nod without once acknowledging your date, who’s already gotten out his wallet and is looking up the prices of the bar on his phone; he pulls out enough to cover the meal but passes over his beer and the tax, because that’s too much work to calculate it even with his phone in hand, and he gets up and sarcastically wishes you a nice life as he bails, the silence a nice change as you continue eating alone. Your server returns a short while later with a new glass and the checks, and when he sees the money left behind he puts two and two together.

‘I take it I’m not getting a tip from him,’ he figures, and you laugh into your glass, almost spilling the liquid all over the table as you try not to choke.

‘I doubt you would’ve anyway, he was a prick,’ you admit, which makes him smile, and you decide his smile is actually quite nice as he starts clearing the other half of the table. ‘Hey, uh, would you wanna sit with me? Just for a little, it’s kinda embarrassing to eat alone after that disaster.’

He glances at the freshly vacant seat before looking around, and he leans over to lower his voice, his eyes on the table as he speaks. ‘I should really get back to work,’ he whispers, but you gesture in front of you in a welcoming manner, and he follows your hands before sitting and hiding his apron behind his arms, the nametag of Simon just barely peeking out before it’s covered up.

You flash him another smile before getting back to your lunch, it’s amazing how listening to someone that incredibly annoying can really kill the appetite in the moment, and he tries not to watch you as he makes sure he’s not about to get in trouble. You finish off your first glass and start on the second since you did ask him for it, even if it was an excuse to ignore your date initially, and you catch the way his eyes watch your exposed throat as you tilt your head back; unlike the other person sitting there previously you don’t feel objectified, or like you were a piece of meat to devour after the sell was over. It’s refreshing, and you offer him your plate in case he might want something to eat before his break, but he refuses, of course he would.

He keeps his eye on his watch but never gets up, and as you pop a fry into your mouth you can’t help but want to talk to him as he meets your eye and looks away immediately after for the third time in a row. ‘You work here long?’ you ask to start, and it’s a lame start, but just the fact that you wanna hear about him has him leaning forward in his seat before he controls himself, sits back again.

‘Just a few years, this is actually my second job, I mainly work with Data Waste,’ he tells you, his voice getting away from him for a moment before he lowers it again; it’s obvious that no one asks about him often, just this small amount of attention enough to make his face light up in a way you don't see often anymore, at least not when you talk about work related things.

‘So, you waste all the data?’ you joke, and he leans in again, the plate pushed aside as he fights to keep his voice under control.

‘No, it’s really interesting actually, I get access to all the trashed data in the city, sift through it to find anything incriminating or important, things that were lost or gotten rid of, delete anything useless; my co-workers think it’s pretty boring, but you can’t imagine the things I’ve seen on some people.’ He stops, realizing he’s about to violate his NDA, and you chuckle as he looks around again like he expects his boss from his other job to suddenly appear and fire him.

‘Sounds exciting, you ever see anything on me?’ you can’t help but ask as you lean in as well, and there’s a slight dusting of pink on his cheeks as he sits back again.

‘I dunno, I’d need to look up your name,’ he answers honestly, and you smirk at his reply.

‘Pretty smooth way to ask for it,’ you tell him, and when he stutters out that he wasn’t you just laugh and grab the check so you can see your total. You pull out your card so you can pay, and you’re in the middle of reaching for your ex-date’s check as well so you can cover the rest when he stops you.

‘I’ve got it, you don’t have to deal with trash like him, that’s my job,’ he jokes back, and when he hands you his card reader you make sure to leave a large tip from the both of you. You hand it back and his eyes go wide, he can’t accept this, but you just flash him your most charming smile and hand him one of your business cards from your wallet, something you printed up years ago but rarely got to hand out since most people used electronic cards nowadays.

‘It’s for making me laugh, today would’ve been pretty shitty otherwise,’ you admit as you stand, and when he stands with you you can see that he really is tall. 

‘Okay, well… if I find anything I’ll give you a call, then? Just so you know what people are deleting about you on the internet,’ he offers, and you hold out your hand to shake his as your expressions softens.

‘I’d like that.’

It’s been a week and a half since your lunch date gone wrong but also surprisingly gone right again, and you’re at home working on a project when an unknown number lights up your phone. You frown at it before clicking into the chat and seeing a bunch of strange messages before the stranger clears things up.

ur sqky clean no trash on u sry it took so long was busy this is simon sry from the bar from last week sry

You smile fondly as you type in a quick reply, your phone lighting up again as he answers fast, he must’ve been waiting with baited breath on the other side. You add his number to your phone and answer back, another quick reply getting you to decide to take a snack break as you bring your phone to the kitchen. The more you chat the more he sees that he doesn’t have to use shorthand, his words lengthening and becoming more proper until you’re wondering if maybe he’s trying to find the perfect mix that won’t annoy you. Eventually he settles on a mix like you do, and you get comfy on the couch with your snack as you turn on the TV and find something to watch.

It’s hard to find things sometimes, you’ve had this older model for years and it isn’t compatible with every streaming platform’s updates anymore, which you think is dumb, but the thing works and you don’t wanna shell out money just to be able to watch whatever new reality show everyone’s talking about as it airs. You stick to your playlist of favourite movies and shows again, settling on one you’ve already seen a million times so you can chat without needing to pay attention.

After a half hour you add each other to Facsimile so you can chat more openly without wasting data, his username of 4LM0ST-HUM4N making you snicker as you check out his profile, but it’s bare apart from his age, which is around yours, and his full name, his last name being Lynch. You can’t help but look him up since you already knew he’d done the same to you, and all you can find is a dating profile on a site you’d heard about but never used.

‘“Shy and looking,”’ you say out loud to yourself as you read his info, and you sink a little further into the cushions as his unfortunately off-putting but also undeniable cute profile picture stares you directly in the eye; you can tell he took it alone, he’s all washed out in the glow of his computer instead of from the room’s overhead or any natural light, and you almost want to call him out on it and help him try again, maybe he might get some matches that way.

You don’t mention the profile as you keep chatting, and before you know it the next movie is autoplaying, your battery low with how long you’ve been on your phone. You figure it’s about time you get back to work as you tell him about the situation, and he agrees, he’s also been putting off work, and you wish him a good night, adding in, ‘That data’s not gunna waste itself.’ He sends you a bunch of laughing emojis before changing his mind and editing the message so there’s only one, to which you give him one back, and he starts typing something else but stops. You wait but he never starts up again so you leave it be, your phone charging out of reach as you get back to work.

Now that you’ve been reminded that he exists and you find his company quite pleasant, you take a ride to the bar on your lunch break the next day, keeping your eye out as casually as you can until you see him clearing a table nearby. You wait until he’s done before waving at him to get his attention, and his smile is so big that it makes him self-conscious as a group of people pass him by, it faltering as he gets out of their way. He takes his dishes to the kitchen and quickly returns to take your order, and even though you’re sitting at a table and a menu is in your hands, you surprise him when you ask him when his break is instead of telling him what you want to eat.

‘My break?’ he repeats back to you, like he doesn’t understand the question.

‘I just figured you might want to eat somewhere you don’t work,’ you simply say, and he glances at his watch to check the time.

‘I get off in 15, but we can eat here, I don’t wanna take up your break by traveling,’ he offers, but you just shake your head and set the menu down.

‘I work from home, I can take as long as I want,’ you tell him, and it’s not exactly a lie since you do have some things to for sure finish today, but losing an extra hour to hang out with your new friend seems like a pretty good tradeoff honestly. He accepts your answer and goes back to work with a shy grin, and you patiently wait at your table until he returns, a brown hoodie slung over his arm and his apron left behind. 

You get up and follow him out to the street where he gets ready to hail a cab, and thanks to your convo from last night you already knew he didn’t drive, but you don’t want him to waste any money when your car was in the parking lot. You direct him to it, and in your head you can hear your mother warning you about letting strangers into your vehicle, but apart from being a little weird he has yet to give you any red flags or warning signs, so you unlock the door and hop in.

‘There’s this place downtown that’s pretty good,’ he says as soon as he sits down, and you try not to giggle when you see how his long legs don’t really fit in the space as he tries to find the seat adjust nonchalantly. ‘They mostly do burgers, but their menu is loaded with stuff, you just need to know what to ask for.’

‘I take it you know?’

He glances at you, his hand stilling momentarily as it's wedged between the door and his seat, and when he does find the button he lets out a noise of surprise as his chair suddenly shifts backwards. ‘Yeah, yeah I go there a bunch, I think I’ve tried almost everything so far.’

‘Why not get a job there instead of here if you like it so much?’ you ask as you start the engine, and he looks down at his lap in response.

‘Cause I- I actually didn’t apply to be a waiter,’ he mumbles, your head turning towards him as you pull out onto the road.

‘Did you wanna work in the kitchen or something?’

‘I wanted to be a bartender, actually, but they needed a server, so that’s what I landed on,’ he explains, and when you go to ask for the name of the place he just directs you down the street, ignoring the GPS entirely. ‘It’s actually been a little dream of mine to open my own place, but starting a business is expensive, and saving up is a little hard even with two jobs, city living isn’t cheap.’

‘You could try for a loan?’ you suggest, but he just shakes his head.

‘I dunno… going that far would make it real, y’know? I don’t think I’m ready for it yet.’ He points to the left as he speaks so you hit your blinker and turn, this is a part of town you’ve never been to before.

‘You could always try, and if it doesn’t work out then I’ll keep cheering you on until it does.’ He’s looking at you like your words are about to make him cry, and he’s so preoccupied with you that he nearly misses the restaurant, your brakes screeching down the thankfully empty road as you back up and turn into the parking lot. You’ve never even heard of this place but the lot is almost full, and you manage to find a spot before he’s getting out and waiting for you, the chill of the fresh, spring air making you both shiver and hurry inside.

The place is warm and cozy, the smell of food instantly making you hungry even though you were feeling pretty okay just moments ago, and he smiles at you before you seat yourself and wait to be served. A large menu is placed in front of you and he was right, it is mostly burgers first and foremost, but as you turn the pages and see everything else available you feel your mouth water. You look up to ask what he recommends just in time to see his eyes disappear over the top of his own menu, and you grin and decide you can’t beat the house special, which is a double bacon burger with everything on it. He orders the same as soon as you tell the waitress, a big plate of loaded fries to split as well as onion rings added as well, and when you’re left alone again you rest your elbows on the table and get his attention.

‘How long have you been coming here? I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talk about it before,’ you admit, and again his eyes shine when you ask about him.

‘Most of my life, I used to live around here when I was younger so this was our go-to place when we wanted to eat out,’ he explains lively, and he looks around and gestures towards the decor. ‘It was different back then, they did a rebranding back in the early 2030s, changed the name and everything, but I still call it by its old name whenever I recommend it.’

‘What was the old name?’

‘The Hotel.’

You laugh, your hand covering your mouth as you try to keep it down. ‘I bet that might’ve caused some confusion,’ you chuckle, and he nods.

‘Oh yeah, I always have to correct myself,’ he agrees with his own laugh, the two of you still going even as your drinks are dropped off. You sip at yours, taking in everything and wondering what the place looked like back then when he stretches out and accidentally bumps your knee with his own; he quickly says sorry as he tries to retreat back to his side of the table, but you tell him it’s okay, and your reassurance makes him balk, like he’s been told off too many times for similar occurrences.

‘So, tell me, why do you wanna open your own bar?’ you quickly ask before he can shut himself off from you, his shyness returning and looking more like anxiety as he clearly gets in his own head about something so small.

‘Well, it’s just something I’ve always wanted to do, like I love the atmosphere, everyone coming together for a little while to share the space and a few drinks, it’s a good place to forget about your troubles for a bit.’ His eyes are on the table as he fiddles with the brown paper covering, your glasses creating dark rings where they’re set down on it.

‘You can say that about a lot of places,’ you add, and he agrees, but his eyes meet yours as he tries to get you to understand.

‘I know but there’s just something special about it, if your customers come there enough it can become familial, you can make bonds with people, offer them an ear when they’re sad, share in their laughter when they’re happy… I guess I’ve just always wanted to be a part of something like that.’ He looks back down again, the paper tearing and making him stop, now picking at his nails instead.

‘It sounds like you wanna connect with people, you don’t need a bar to do that,’ you say softly, carefully in case he might take offense to it, but he doesn’t, just shrugs.

‘I know, but… I still think it would be fun.’ His eyes meet yours again, and there’s something behind them as you look between them, something lonely that you haven’t seen in them before. You wonder then how long it’s been since he’s been here with someone, if his family still met up with him here, but based on his eyes you think you know the answer.

‘Well, if you do ever open that bar, then I expect free drinks for life as your first customer,’ you tease as you hold up your glass for a promising toast, and your faith in him makes his eyes look a little less lonely as he raises his own and taps the rims together. You drink as your waitress comes back with your food then, and it looks even better than the picture as you grab on tight and take a big bite. It’s the biggest burger you’ve ever eaten but it might also be the tastiest, the toppings sliding against your palms as you try to hold it all together, and you can see him having just as much trouble with his own. You laugh again and take another bite, your conversation moving onto more cheerful things as you eat, from family stories to complaints about work, bad dates to how your week was going, your overbearing but well-meaning mother to his absent father, but he isn’t as upset about it as he used to be as you sit with him and listen, he confesses. 

You douse your half of the fries in ketchup as he dips his own in ranch, and he has more onion rings than you do before you realize it, and when your plates are empty and your glasses hold nothing but melting ice you finally look at your phone and realize you’ve been there for over an hour. ‘Shit, I need to get back,’ he panics as he stands, and you wave over your waitress as you both get out your wallets.

‘Hey, I got you covered, can you go start my car?’ you tell him as he searches for the card he wants to use, but he can’t accept that, even more so than the tip from last week. ��I insist, this was a much better date than my last one,’ you say with a wink, and he fumbles his next words as you toss him your keys. He rushes out with flushed cheeks, and you instantly let your emotions show on your face as you mentally ask yourself why the hell you actually said that as you pay.

You run out as soon as you’re done and speed off back to the bar, the car quiet until you say your goodbyes, and you watch him go until he disappears through the double doors with a small wave.

It becomes a bit of a thing for you two as you meet up for lunch every Friday after that, with you trying something new at his recommendation each time, and after around 7 weeks of this he flashes you the biggest smile as you sit down at your usual table, Simon already seated and waiting. ‘What?’ you ask, his smile spreading to you, and he holds out his phone to show that he had an appointment with the bank on Monday. ‘Oh my god, are you-?’

‘I’m doing it.’ He’s practically bouncing in his seat, only stopping when he bangs his knee off the metal support and makes the table shake, his excitement so strong that you could probably start bouncing as well if you were to be completely honest with yourself.

‘That’s amazing! Do you need a ride? We can go together, it’s after your shift is done, right? Or should I pick you up at your place?’

‘I-’ His smile falters a bit but he pushes it aside, and it feels a little forced as it returns. ‘I’ve got a ride covered, but thank you. Maybe we can meet up at the bank when it’s over? I can text you, if you’d like.’

‘I’d love that, I’ll be sure to work extra hard so we can celebrate the night away.’

Everything goes quiet as you realize what you’ve said, since while you have been texting almost daily you still have yet to hang out outside of your lunch dates; you’re not even really sure if they could even be called that seeing as, apart from you calling the first time that as a joke, neither of you actually confirmed there was anything more than friendship going on between you. Still, you both take it seriously as your usual waitress approaches to take your orders, and neither of you bring it back up again after she leaves.

‘I’m really proud of you, Simon, this is a big step you’re taking,’ you do say to break the silence, and when he looks at you you can swear he’s about to cry again; it actually hurts in a physical way whenever you see that, and you curse whoever beat him down enough to have this be his default reaction whenever you give him any kind of compliment or praise.

‘I don’t think I could’ve done it if you hadn’t cheered me on, might’ve found more excuses to put it off.’ He looks so vulnerable in this moment, his hands clasped on the table in front of him, and you glance down at them and nearly reach out to grab one when he continues. ‘Actually, because of you, I kinda started paying attention to my old LoveMatch account, turns out I got some messages when I was offline.’

Your smile freezes on your face as you unexpectedly go cold, your reaction to his words catching you off guard as talking becomes hard. ‘That’s… that’s wonderful news, anyone catch your eye?’ you finally ask, and he goes pink as he shakes his head.

‘Not yet, I didn’t get many but I still wanna check them all out, see if maybe my soulmate is one of them. Wait, that’s kinda desperate, isn’t it? I don’t actually think my soulmate is on some random dating site but… it’s nice to imagine, right? It’s like you said, I- I just wanna connect with someone.’ He’s looking only at his phone as he talks, scrolling through the unopened messages still waiting for him, and it feels like you’re watching the conversation from afar as your ears start ringing, your hands shaking as you try to figure out why you’re feeling this way.

He’s cute, you can’t deny that, and you enjoy his company a lot, but you haven’t thought about an actual relationship with him until this moment, when it was made apparent to you that that wasn’t what he wanted. And now that he was considering someone else, picturing a life with someone else, you know that you wanted to be with him, not in a casual, Friday lunch date and daily chats kind of way, but in the way where you’d visit him on his off hours or you’d bring him to your place, where you could have a nice dinner, watch movies together, no more table between you as you curl up against him or have him lean against you. You could hold his hand, and he could tell you about how his day at the bar, his bar, went and about all the new people he met, and when he was done you could cup that enticingly strong jaw of his and angle his face up to yours.

‘Are you okay?’

You blink and your vision blurs, and you quickly sniff and search your pockets for your travel-sized bottle of emergency ibuprofen. ‘Yeah, yeah I’m good, allergies are just acting up again, gunna go blow my nose and take my meds real quick before this gets gross,’ you lie with a fake smile, making sure he can’t see the label before you run off, and he buys it completely before going back to his messages. You don’t let your facade crack until you’re safe in the bathroom, the weight of how much you had fallen for him without realizing making your knees buckle, and you lock yourself in one of the stalls as you desperately try to push down the fact that he would never feel the same.

You’d managed to keep it together as you finished your lunch get together - not date, never date - but you spend the rest of the weekend moping around your apartment after that, your eyes on your phone as you lay on the couch and watch some old favourites to cheer yourself up, but each time he leaves you a message you feel your heart ache and it always takes a while before you can answer back. You give him the excuse of being a bit behind on work so you can’t chat much, and he was fine with that because he was gathering up the courage to message a couple people back, see if there were any sparks, and you have to ignore your phone entirely as you bury your head in the couch pillow and yell.

Before you know it you’re waking up where you’d fallen asleep, the TV going through the night and the sunlight streaming through the wall of windows to the right of your couch, the brightness rousing you from your restless dreams. You reach limply for your phone but the battery died during the night, and you groan and stumble over to your desk so you can charge it. As soon as it comes back to life you see that it’s much later than you thought thanks to your alarm never going off, and you find a bunch of messages waiting for you.

‘Shit! Shitshitshit!’ you swear when you see that Simon had asked you to wish him luck before his meeting, and you’re already a half hour late to reply but you do anyway as you fully push aside all your feelings to wish him all the luck you possibly can. He doesn’t answer back, because he’s obviously in the meeting, and you end up too nervous about it to eat as you let your phone charge. Instead you skip straight to getting ready for the day, having a quick but much needed shower after your weekend-long mope session. As you dry your hair you then find something nice to wear that you secretly hope he might like, some part of you overcoming the misery to hope that if he’s ready enough for a relationship to use LoveMatch again then maybe you could have a chance, and that hope fuels you as you race back to your phone to see if he’s done yet.

you dont need to pick me up taking a cab home see you friday

Your hand reaches up to cover your mouth as dread fills you then, and you quickly call him, unplugging your phone so you can sit down. ‘Simon, where are you?’ you ask the moment he picks up, and all you hear is the sound of traffic before a small sniff is picked up by his phone’s mic.

‘Don’t come, I just wanna get home right now,’ he tries to tell you, but your body is moving when you hear his small voice, how broken he sounds, your keys in your hand and a pair of flipflops that definitely aren’t weather appropriate yet on your feet so you can be out the door faster.

‘Are you still at the bank? Which one is it, I’m heading out right now.’

‘Please…’

‘I’m already in my car, where am I going?’

The resulting silence to your insistence stretches on for so long that you’re about to just try every bank in town until you find him when he gives you the address, and you know the one exactly as you speed off towards it. You arrive about ten minutes later, and you’re scanning the area when you see him huddling from the wind in the alley, his hood up and people giving him cautious glances as they pass. You roll down your window and call out to him, and when he finds you through the gap you can’t help but let out a noise of pain when you see his face; he’s been crying, you hadn’t been able to see because of his hood, but now you can see that his cheeks are damp and his eyes are red, and you hurriedly unlock the passenger door and motion for him to come over.

He hesitates a moment before wiping his cheeks and jogging over, people bumping into him with how busy the street is, but he doesn’t do or say anything even as he gets a couple insults along the way. He opens the door, sits down, and as soon as you ask where he wants to go he hides his face in his hand and starts crying again. You reach out to touch his shoulder but he pulls away, he needs space, and you don’t try again as you drive back to your place.

‘I don’t know why I thought I could do this…’ he mutters to himself as you drive, and the lump in your own throat is so thick that it hurts as you try to swallow it down. You pull back into your parking lot and he finally notices that he doesn’t know this place, and you don’t shut off the engine as you turn back towards him.

‘You don’t have to tell me about it, but I’d like it if you came up with me, please,’ is all you say, and another tear rolls down his cheek before he’s nodding, following you to the front doors. Your place is pretty high up but the elevator ride isn’t awkward as he stuffs himself into the corner opposite of you, where you can’t see him as easily. You reach your floor before you know it so you lead the way to your apartment, and when the door opens and you set your keys back down on the small shelf nearby he takes everything in with an even sadder expression, which isn’t the way you were hoping it would go at all.

‘You- you have a nice home,’ he just says, and before you can thank him he’s already turning back for the door. ‘I shouldn’t have come up, I’m sorry, you shouldn’t talk to me anymore, I’ll leave you alone now-’

‘Whoa, wait, where did this come from?’ you need to know as you stand in front of the door, and he goes to move you aside before pulling back, he doesn’t even want to touch you. ‘Simon, I know I said you didn’t have to talk about it but- what happened in there? Why can’t I talk to you anymore?’

‘Because I’m-’ He flinches away from you as his voice rises, frustration apparent among the sadness, and he leans against the wall with a dull thud. ‘I was accepted into the police academy a few years back, before I got my job at the bar; I was training to be on the bomb squad, I thought my knack for technology could help save lives, and I practiced really hard, learned to disarm nonlethal devices I built myself to show them I could do it, that I could be useful to them.

‘But when they learned I’d been building things they thought I was doing it for the wrong reasons even though there was no danger to them, like I was going to learn how to build actual bombs next using the training I received; I was just learning how to cut the power without setting anything off, I was using fucking coloured lights to do it, there were no explosives on my devices at all! But it was enough to make them think I was a danger to everyone, and they forced me to take a psych exam which I then failed by their standards. I was kicked out of the academy, lost my job when the psych eval was sent to them the following week, even lost my apartment when my landlord got word of everything, this one mistake got me evicted in the middle of winter-!

‘And the guy I talked to today heard about it too, read about all of it when they researched me to see if I was deserving of it, do you know what I heard him say to his supervisor when he thought I was out of earshot? He- he called me “unstable,” and fucking “unqualified” when I told him how much I make a year, like he didn’t trust me to pay it back, like I was a failure before the bar even opened, and maybe he’s right, maybe I am a failure, I shouldn’t have tried, I shouldn’t have fucking tried-!’

He spins and punches the wall he was just leaning against and you tense up, your eyes shutting on instinct at the crash of his knuckles through the drywall; it’s the first time you’ve seen him angry like this and it scares you, but as he pulls his hand back and looks at his bloodied knuckles you feel no fear, just sadness.

‘I’m sorry, shit, I’m so sorry,’ he apologizes under his breath, hissing as he flexes his fingers, his hand shaking from the pain, and it would be so easy to end it all right there, kick him out too and never see him again after what he’s just told you, just done, but you can’t as you take him gently by the arm and lead him to your couch. You sit him down and go off to find your first aid kit, some big and overly full thing your mother made you buy when you first moved to the city, and you’re thankful for it now as you pull out the unsealed bottle of healing spray and spritz it against his torn skin a couple times.

For once you love the future as he heals, and while he’s fine now you can’t help but take out the gauze and wrap the area next just to make sure, your fingers resting over the fabric and the back of his hand as you hold him in place. ‘You’re not a failure,’ you murmur, and he tries to pull away again but you don’t let him. ‘What happened to you… it really, really fucking sucks, and none of it was fair, but… it doesn’t make you a failure, we can just try again until we find someone who can help you get that loan.’

‘I don’t even want it, not after today.’ There’s not a single trace of a lie in his words, he’s giving up, and you want so badly to hold him but you can’t. ‘It’ll just happen again, this black mark on my life will just keep following me, why even try?’

‘Because it’s your dream, remember? You told me you wanted to connect with people, no one should be able to take that from you.’ You’re moving closer to him, slotting yourself between his legs as your knees hit the bottom of the couch, he can’t run from you like this, but it’s like you’re invisible to him in his misery.

‘But they already did.’

You let go of his hand and get up, throwing your arms around his neck in a tight hug, and he lets out a sound somewhere between surprise and relief as he’s pressed into the couch; you’re practically in his lap like this, and you try to shift until you’re beside him instead, but your arms never leave him as you back up, your frown so deep it’s starting to make your head hurt. ‘They only will when you stop fighting for it, you haven’t lost it yet,’ you tell him in a hushed whisper, and something in him breaks as he crumbles into your hug, his head on your shoulder as he grips the back of your shirt as hard as he can, like he’s drowning at sea and you’re the only thing keeping him afloat.

You pet his hair comfortingly as he keeps talking into your shoulder about how it went, how he felt so worthless when he was rejected, how he tried to explain himself but it was all shut down, the man hadn’t even wanted to hear it because he’d heard enough, how he was so upset and hurt and angry that he was afraid of himself and what he’d do, and you just comfort him as he lets it all out. It takes a while but you never rush him, or interrupt him as he vents, you just keep holding him until he’s ready to let you go. You separate, and his eyes are so red as they avoid looking at you, but you just brush his bangs to the side before getting up and grabbing the tissues.

You hand him the box, and the smile he gives you isn’t as sad as he grabs a few, the lump in your throat easing up a bit at the sight. ‘I know you probably aren’t in the mood to celebrate, but if you just wanna grab some food and watch a movie anyway I could order something, or make something here? I think the Hotel might deliver this far, lemme see if it’s on Dumbwaiter.’ You’re already on your phone to check but he’s standing, his used tissues bunched in his hand as he looks for your garbage bin, his eyes on the ground again.

‘I’m not very hungry, thank you but I think I just wanna head home,’ he says after throwing them away, and your hand lowers as you take a step towards him, standing between him and the door again.

‘Please.’ You don’t mean for it to come out but it does, this is about him, not you, you have no right to ask him to stay when he needs space, but you can’t leave him like this, not now. Finally he meets your eye, and you can see that he wants to stay as badly as you want him to, and he opens his mouth to say something before he closes the gap, stands next to you and looks down at your phone. He taps your screen back to life and scrolls before he finds the Hotel’s real name in the list of places on Dumbwaiter’s delivery partnership, and he gives the name another tap before giving you the smallest smile, and it’s genuine and even less sad as his shoulder presses into yours.

‘Order the pasta today, all of their sauces are rich and they always serve too much, and get us the goat cheese spinach dip, it’s to die for,’ he says, his voice still wavering a bit after all his crying, and you just nod before adding it all to your cart, Simon taking off his shoes so he can get comfy on your couch properly this time. You pay for the meal and join him, offering him the remote but he has nothing he wants to watch, so you go to your favourites and pick the stupidest, funniest comedy you can find, needing something silly to lift the mood, and as the food is delivered and you both laugh with full mouths that almost get you to choke you end up wishing you could have this forever, that you could move to his side and hold him again.

You don’t, your phones on the coffee table along with your plates, the space between you feeling so much wider than it actually was as he stays with you until the sun sets.

Now that he’s been to your place your friendship only grows, your meetups changing from Friday lunches to properly hanging out, and it isn’t often he gets free time between his two jobs, but most nights of his are free and you’re always ready to drop whatever you can to see him when he asks. Because of your eagerness you’re slowly becoming a pro at keeping up with your own work, the need to procrastinate fading away like never before since being caught up meant you could go to him wherever he waited. You met him at both jobs, at the Hotel - which he got you to start saying as well since he never called it by its real name - and at the park, sometimes at the mall if there was something he needed to get and he wanted some company, but you’ve still never seen his place, and you’re starting to wonder where he lived.

You know it’s in town, since he got to and from work via Brougham and being outside of town would be hell on his paychecks, but you have no idea which part other than the fact that he used to live near the Hotel when he was a kid. You’ve tried asking before, but each time you do he just brushes it off, makes some excuse to why you couldn’t pick him up or drop him off there, and you’re starting to get a bit suspicious if you were entirely honest. You know he’s not homeless, he’s told you before how it took him a bit but he did manage to find someplace permanent and all his after his eviction, but this is getting ridiculous you think when he comes up with yet another excuse as to why you can drop him off on this random street you’re driving down, he lives nearby, he can walk the rest of the way.

‘Simon, you’ve got six bags of groceries in the back seat, it is literally impossible for you to walk home with them all,’ you say firmly as he just keeps looking out the window, and his lips purse as he tries something else.

‘It isn’t far and they’re not that heavy, I can do three per hand,’ he insists, and you step on the brakes in the middle of the road, no one coming or going as he jerks forwards in his seat at the inertia.

‘Why don’t you want me to see your place?’ you ask bluntly, no longer holding back, and he gets defensive, he’s more open with his anger around you now, but he hasn’t gotten as upset since that day, and you know it’s because he doesn’t want to lose control again, doesn’t want to scare you or himself like that again.

‘I never said I didn’t.’

‘You don’t need to; is it bad neighbours, or a bad neighbourhood? I don’t care where you live, or what your place looks like, I swear I don’t, so you don’t have to keep me away,’ you tell him honestly, and for a moment you think he might tell you when he unlocks his door and heads to the back. You just sigh as he gathers everything up in both hands and thanks you for the ride, but it really is close, you don’t have to waste gas going the rest of the day, he’ll see you Friday.

‘And… you don’t wanna know where I live,’ he mutters mostly to himself before the door closes, and he’s clearly weighed down by everything but he sticks with it, and you watch him just keep going further and further down the street until you have no choice but to take a U-turn and head home, and he’s still in your rearview as you hit a right and he’s forced to disappear around the corner behind you.

It’s a little awkward for you both after that, so you don’t bring it up again to make sure things even out, and it seems to help as you keep meeting up everywhere but his place, wherever the hell it is. He’s been to yours enough times now that you almost consider giving him a spare key so he can invite himself over, but it feels too personal for friends, and when you joke about it to test the waters he nearly spits out his drink in surprise. You clarify that it’s a joke as he sputters out that he’s never had someone’s spare key before, he’s never known anyone long enough for that.

‘You’ve known me for quite a few months now, maybe it might come in handle to have a spare out there in case of emergencies,’ you say next, instantly backtracking on the joke aspect of it with a little hope, and despite you initially calling it so he also looks a little hopeful at the possibility before his phone pings loudly. The moment is ruined as he stops your post-lunch walk through the park to see who’s messaging him, and his eyes widen as his smile grows and his face flushes. ‘LoveMatch, I assume?’ you ask, your teeth clenching in jealousy behind your smile.

‘Yeah, I’ve been messaging this one girl, Jeannie, a few days now,’ he tells you as he clicks in to see what she said, and his smile is so bright at her reply that you feel your stomach drop, your jealousy transforming into something that feels so much worse. ‘I think I’m gunna ask her on a date soon, when I can get an afternoon off so we don’t meet up too late, what do you think? Or should we talk a bit more first?’

The urge to tell him he should definitely talk more first arises because it’s true, you know what meeting too soon can do to a relationship before you can get a better feel for someone, but you also want them to meet before they’re ready; you want her to go in blind because you already know how to talk to him, know that there’s no way she’ll be able to get him out of his shell enough to consider a second date. You know he’ll be nervous, so he might say something weird like he did that first time you chatted over Facsimile, and if he does then there’s a good chance she might leave the date not wanting more.

You can’t do that though, you don’t want to see him rejected like that ever again after the loan, so you ball up your fist and give him a playful tap to the shoulder as he waits for your response. ‘Give it a little more time, get to know each other better, the perfect time for a date will show itself eventually, and if it doesn’t then maybe it’s just not meant to be,’ you suggest, and he nods before one-handedly typing out a reply back to her and putting his phone away. 

‘You’re so good with this kinda stuff, I haven’t been on a real date before, it’s why I signed up for LoveMatch to begin with, so I never know where to start whenever I get a match,’ he confesses as you go back to walking, your fist still balled painfully as you hide it in your jacket pocket. 

‘I’ve been on way too many bad dates by now, I’d like to think I’m a bit of an expert on it.’ Your laugh is strained but he doesn’t seem to notice as he looks straight ahead, his cheeks still pink now that she’s on his mind.

‘I can’t wait to meet her, she works at a flower shop nearby but I haven’t been in yet, I don’t wanna creep her out or anything,’ he says as his shyness crops up again, his expression cute until you remember this isn’t for you, it’s for her.

‘Just keep talking to her and it’ll happen, and who knows? Maybe she’ll like you as mu-’ You stop yourself from saying, ‘as much as I do,’ the words unable to come out as he turns to face you with a curious expression. ‘As much as I know she will,’ you finish, and he grins at the ground before taking another drink, your shoulders bumping for just a moment before he steps to the left to give you a bit more space, and you have to grip the inside of your pocket to keep from pulling him back to you.

About a week later he messages you as you’re working, your phone lighting up and buzzing energetically near your hand, and when you open the chat he tells you that she asked him on a date. Your face falls as you force a smile he can’t see, your thumbs typing him a congrats you don’t mean, not entirely, and when he says that he’s going to take her to the park you feel almost betrayed; you know it’s not your park, it’s just someplace you visit sometimes, it wasn’t like he was bringing her to the Hotel for lunch, that would hurt so much worse.

He then says he’s been thinking about packing a picnic since it felt more romantic, and that he was going to bring roses in her favourite colours since she told him she couldn’t decide between red or orange when they were talking about it, and you almost put down your phone as your chest aches. You want it to be you, you want him to ask you to the park for a picnic, you want to be able to pack your own favourites to share with him there now that the weather is nice again, you want him to bring you roses in your favourite colours even though you’re not even that much of a flower person just because they’re from him and he’s thinking of you.

You want to be her.

You tell him that that sounds like a great idea, she’ll love it, he should tell you how it goes afterwards if he wants to, which he does, since you’re his friend.

You’re his friend.

You send him a bunch of fingers crossed emojis and get back to work so he can start planning, the date is this weekend after all and he has things he has to do now, and when you go to bed that night your thumb hovers over the Sign Up button on LoveMatch’s mobile app until you fall asleep.

Three days later you find yourself lurking outside of the park even though you fought all morning not to, not knowing the exact time they were going to meet up and spending every second continuing that fight as you tell yourself to leave before you got hurt even more. You parked a block away so he wouldn’t recognize your car, and you’re wearing one of your thicker hoodies that you prefer to save for colder weather even though it’s making you sweat like crazy, the hood up as you walk around and see if you can find him. You’ve been there for hours now when you finally decide to go, this was stupid and petty and way too jealous to be acceptable no matter how you felt for him, and just as you’re about to leave you hear his voice echo faintly across the open area.

You look over and see him approach an unfamiliar woman, Jeannie, a big bouquet of roses in his hand and his Brougham waiting for him with an open door by the curb where he was dropped off at. He waves nervously at her, and she flashes him a big smile as he hands her the roses, she seems happy about them, and they chat for a little bit as you get a good vantage point behind a nearby tree. There’s people looking at you as they pass but you don’t care, you can’t leave now, and your jealousy turns to shocked offense as you watch her expression slowly fall.

She’s uncomfortable, he’s said something that she didn’t like just like you’d feared, and he picks up on it and motions for her to wait before he jogs back to the car, he’s still going to try and fix it with the picnic. The moment he’s away from her she puts the roses down on the bench they’re standing by and bails, her footsteps fast as she puts as much distance between them before his return, and your body moves on its own as you want to chase her down, demand to know why she did that. You lose her as you hear him come back to the bench, his voice calling out to her again but she’s long gone, and you freeze with your back to him as you hear him set down the basket, his car already driving off and stranding him there.

The lump is already forming in your throat again when you hear your phone go off, and when you pick up and turn to face him he’s already looking at you, having heard the ringtone you’d assigned to him from your short distance away. He looks hurt at your presence at first, then upset, then angry, and he leaves both the roses and the basket behind as he starts to walk away.

‘Simon, wait,’ you call out to him as you race after him, his long legs carrying him farther and faster as you quickly catch up, but you being there is just insult to injury and he does not want you to be there for him today.

‘You saw it all, didn’t you?’ he demands as he just keeps walking with no destination, needing to get away from you and his heartbreak as fast as he can, and you try to walk backwards in front of him but you can’t keep the pace, not when he keeps changing directions every time you catch up.

‘I’m sorry, I wanted to make sure it went okay,’ you confess before you can come up with yet another lie, and he scoffs at it bitterly.

‘Wanted to make sure I didn’t fuck it up like the loan, right? Well, sorry to break it to you, but I fucked it up again, I’m just one big fuckup!’ He takes another sharp turn to try and lose you in a dense crowd but you grab onto him, use him like an anchor as he tries to jerk away enough to make you let go, but your grip is strong and true as not even that works. 

‘You aren’t a fuckup!’ you insist desperately in a too loud voice for being in public, a group of mothers with strollers giving you the dirtiest look at your language, but you just give them a ‘give me a break’ look back before turning your attention back to him. ‘She just doesn’t know you yet, what did you say? Maybe you can still fix it? Or you could try one of your other matches? She isn’t the only one out there, you don’t need her!’

‘I told her that I wanted to meet her at work,’ he says, and that’s not so bad until he explains why it upset her. ‘I told her that I saw her place of work in the trashed data and I wanted to surprise her by ordering the roses from her, and she didn’t like it.’

Yeah, that’ll do it.

‘She- she didn’t get that you weren’t looking her up to doxx her or stalk her or anything?’ you hurriedly ask, and he just shakes his head, his pace slowing as you exit the main road and head down a less busy street, somewhere more private, probably unintentionally on his part.

‘No, I tried to explain that but her expression said it all, and when I got back…’ He slows even more, you both know how it ended and his lip is quivering. ‘She didn’t even have to guts to say goodbye, she just wanted to leave me there like I could be thrown out like the roses, like trash, that fucking bitch!’ He kicks the trashcan you’re about to pass and it crashes hard to the ground, the contents spilling all over the sidewalk as he loses control of his anger again. ‘I’m a person, goddamnit, why does this keep…’

You step around the trash as the wind blows it into your path, creating a river between the two of you that you cross to get to him, and this time when you try to hug him he steps back, puts a hand up to keep you away.

‘Don’t, just- don’t, I can’t be touched by you right now,’ he says softly, and he isn’t crying but he looks about to as you obediently back up, the trash spreading around you and making the river swell. ‘I’m going home, I’m sorry you keep having to deal with me.’

You try to tell him otherwise but he isn’t listening as he pulls up his hood and heads back to the main road, a cab hailed before he gets in and drives away, leaves you there alone. You lower your own hood and unzip your hoodie so your body can cool a little as you walk back to your car, and when you reach the bench you see that there’s a small group of concerned people gathering around the basket, all of them clearly thinking that it might be something dangerous.

‘That’s mine, sorry, it’s just a picnic,’ you say as you approach it, and everyone can’t help but peer inside as you prove it to them. In that quick glimpse you can see that he worked hard on the contents within, he made a whole bunch and even grabbed a few different drinks as well as a bottle of wine to split, and you swallow as you relatch the lid and grab the handle. The roses are still there too and you pick them up, they’re the synthetic kind you can tell as their scent is muted compared to the real thing, he wanted her to keep them for a while without them dying, and you hold them close to your chest as you finish the trek to your car.

You don’t look at the items in your passenger seat until you get home, and when you reach your apartment you put the flowers in a waterless vase and spread out the picnic on your coffee table. You choose your favourite drink, of course he would’ve brought it out of all the possible options, and open up the wine as well as you enjoy the picnic by yourself, not wanting to let it go to waste as you try not to notice how large your couch was without him there to enjoy it with you.

He ignores your messages for a while after that, so you stop texting him to give him some space, but that doesn’t stop you from at least typing everything out and deleting it before the temptation to press send overtakes you. You look him up on LoveMatch and see that he’s offline, and after looking up Jeannie’s name you discover a recent post she made in the site’s forums section; you click in and see that she completely tried to ruin his reputation on the site, warning others to stay away from him, calling him creepy and a stalker and claiming that he would doxx any matches. Your heart races as the comments join in, insulting his picture and saying he looked like a creep, how some said they had messaged him but now they were going to block, thanking her for the warning and telling her how sorry they were for having to deal with that.

You nearly come to his rescue but there’s no point, they’ve already made up their minds, and you instead flag the post as harassment and pray that it got taken down before he saw it.

He’s seen it.

He sends you the link without another word, your request to remove it denied, and when you look for his profile you find it gone.

He misses your next Friday lunch, and you figure enough is enough as you decide that if he wasn’t going to talk to you then you were going to talk to him. You wait until he gets off work before parking across from the bar, and you keep your distance as he hails a ride and heads home for the night. Your hands are gripping the wheel way too hard the entire way there, and when the car turns into a large, mostly empty lot sans a bunch of trailers parked inside as well as a few storage containers and miscellaneous vehicles and construction things for the building across the street you just keep going and pretend like you weren’t just following him. You wait until his ride leaves as you park nearby, and you casually walk up to the one you saw him heading for and hope that he won’t kick you out immediately as you knock on the door.

There’s the sound of stumbling from inside until the door opens and you step out of its way, Simon just looking at you before a cacophony of emotions plays across his face. ‘Hey,’ you say when he doesn’t shut the door right away, ‘you stopped answering my messages, I wanted to make sure you were okay.’

‘So you followed me?’ He’s more surprised than angry, which is good, but you don’t know how long it’ll last so you talk fast, needing to get it out while you have the chance.

‘You never told me where you lived, I improvised, I’m not the one with access to trashed data here,’ you try to joke, but neither of you laugh as you just stand there on his makeshift porch, which is just big enough to hold a single lawn chair and nothing else, another sign of his isolation.

‘I never wanted you to come here,’ he mutters just quietly enough that you almost miss it, and when you lean in to listen his expression hardens. ‘Your place is so nice, you’ve got a nice view, everything is so open, you do so well for yourself. But me, even with two jobs this is all I can afford, I can’t save up for my bar when I have bills to pay, can’t get a loan because I can’t pay it off if it fails, you’ve got everything so put together and I’m-’ He stops, he’s been looking at the ground the entire time but when he falls silent he makes a point to purposefully not look at you, and you can see the shine in his eyes as he shifts from foot to foot, resists slamming the door in your face. ‘I’m a fucking loser.’

‘You’re not-’

‘I got kicked out of the academy, I got evicted, I got denied for my loan, I got dumped before my date even started and now every other match I made has me blocked, I live in a fucking trailer because I can’t afford rent in the city anymore and it’s cheap to live out this far, how am I not a loser?’ He quiets down when he starts yelling out all the reasons why he was worthless, his voice echoing over the lot, and he tries to shut the door when your hand shoots out and holds it open the second you see it move. ‘I just- I don’t understand why you keep talking to me after all that, why do you keep coming back? Why haven’t you left like everyone else? Why won’t you just- leave me alone…?’

You swallow and walk up the two-step stairs, Simon backing up until you let yourself in, the door shutting behind you and trapping your voices inside so they can’t carry anymore. ‘Because none of that defines you, it happened to you but that isn’t who you are,’ you tell him, and he’s hunched over now that he’s inside, the ceiling not high enough to accommodate him in his own home.

‘And who am I?’ he asked pathetically, but you don’t see him as pathetic, not even now as you see his home and how bare it is, the nicest thing he owns his computer over by the far window, the setup grand and expensive looking, and you fondly think to yourself that he probably built it all himself.

‘You’re smart, you’re so fucking smart, and you’re easy to talk to, and you’re a bit weird sometimes, and you word things kinda badly at the worst of times but you’re not a creep, and you’re passionate about what you want and it’s so unfair that no one’s given you a proper chance, or gotten to know the real you, not just what they’ve heard and assumed about you. You’re not a bad guy, you’re more than your black marks, you’re Simon.’

He blinks and a tear falls from his eye to the floor thanks to the angle his neck is forced to be, but he never sits even though it must be hurting him, and you wonder if maybe you’ve gotten through to him when he catches you completely off guard with what he says next: ‘Would you still think that if you knew the real me?’

‘What do you mean?’ You’ve known him for half a year now, there wasn’t any side of him you hadn’t seen yet, but apparently there was as another tear falls.

‘I killed someone, about five years ago now.’

You stagger back into the door, the wind knocked out of you at this revelation, and he shuts his eyes and looks away from your expression as one of pain takes over his own face. ‘What are you talking about?’ you ask quietly, your voice failing you the first time you try, and he flinches at your words like you’d just screamed them in his face.

‘Back when I was evicted I was looking for people to room with, just temporarily until I could get back on my feet, and this guy had answered my ad, invited me over to check out his place. I should’ve been more cautious but it was so cold I couldn’t wait, and when I got there he tried to mug me, take whatever I had left. I fought back in self-defense, but when I almost got away he started attacking me, wanted to keep me there until his actual roommate got home so he had help, and I-’ He sits down then, his hands shaking as he goes back to that time, and your back leaves the door as he looks up at you with such sadness that your chest feels hollow. ‘He tried to kill me, I was only trying to defend myself, I didn’t mean to hurt him so bad, I just wanted to find somewhere to stay, it was so cold outside…’

‘What happened after that?’ You think you might’ve just mouthed the words with how much your voice breaks, but he understands you anyways.

‘The roommate came home while I- while it was happening, called the cops, and when they saw me standing there covered in blood, holding the knife still, they instantly ruled it as a homicide and arrested me. I was able to plead not guilty but they took one look at my bad psych eval and thought I’d snapped, killed him outta malice or something, it was only by a miracle that the evidence was in my favour.’

‘And the roommate?’

‘They searched the place and found evidence of all the others before me that’d fallen for the con, he was charged and arrested and I made bail, but after that my mother never talked to me again, even though I was acquitted.’ It looks like a weight’s been lifted now that he’s said it, but he also looks so fucking tired, most of him taking up his small loveseat couch. You want to go to him but you can’t move, your body refusing to shift even an inch in case he didn’t want you to, and he looks you over before something in his eyes begs you please; you let out a small noise as you fall to the ground between his knees, your hand holding his just like you had when you’d wrapped him up.

‘Why are you still here? Why haven’t you thrown me out yet?’ he weakly asks you, and you can’t lie to him any longer as you hold his hand up to your cheek.

‘Don’t you know what you mean to me?’ you need to know, your voice so small that again you’re not even sure if any of it even comes out, and he lets out a breath that sounds so desperate and broken it makes you wonder just how long he’s been holding it: days, weeks, months, since the moment you met?

‘I didn’t want to hope- you… you’re my only friend, I didn’t want to ruin everything and lose you too,’ he whispers as he properly holds you, his palm so warm against your skin, and you lean into his touch as you let out the breath you were holding in return.

‘You almost broke my heart when you said you went back to LoveMatch, I wanted to tell you so badly,’ you’re finally able to confess, and when you do his other hand finds your arm, holds you with just enough pressure that you know he wants you there.

‘Why didn’t you?’

‘I didn’t want to ruin everything either.’

He leans forward until his forehead rests against yours, and when you open your eyes and look into his you can see everything you ever wanted again, all of it feeling so real and within reach as you brush his bangs aside, rest your hand on the back of his neck. His other hand comes up to cup your other cheek, and he’s shaking slightly like he’s afraid to touch you even though he already is because this time it’d be his decision to, his lips parting as he stares down at your own, and when he touches you you lean up and close the space between you.

He sighs against your mouth as you kiss him, it so full of relief and contentment and joy, and you wrap your arms around his neck again as you successfully sit in his lap this time. His lack of experience is apparent but you have no complaints as you deepen the kiss, needing more now that you could have it, and he lets you have everything you ever wanted as he leans back against the cushions until his head hits the metal wall behind him. He mutters an ow as he lets go of you to rub his head, and you laugh before catching his mouth again, which he eagerly allows you to do; he eats up all your attention, starving for it as he gets more into it, needing whatever you can give after so many rejections, and you’re happy to give it all back as you kiss his neck.

‘I was so proud of you when you told me you were trying for the loan, I really wanted to celebrate with you,’ you whisper into his skin, and you can feel him shiver as he lets out a soft moan and tilts his head to the side so you have easier access. ‘You’ve been trying so hard, please let me reward you, I want to be the first to…’

He moans your name as his hips start to move, try to find friction against you, and you shift until he does, his jaw going slack as he holds you by your thighs, perfects the angle even more.

‘When I saw you with her I wanted it to be me, I hated myself for wanting her to go, but she didn’t deserve you, I’ll never leave, and I want the next time we meet to be a real date, whether it’s at the Hotel or the park or my place or here, I want to be with you.’

He makes a noise of pure want, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to swallow back the sob that follows, he was always weak to your compliments but you need him to know how worth it he is to you, how much he deserves this after everything he’s been through.

‘You’re wonderful, I love spending time with you, you’re everything I want.’

A tear escapes between his tightly shut eyelids and you kiss it away before going to his jaw, pressing your lips along it before you find his mouth again.

‘I really like you, Simon, you mean so much to me, I’m so glad I got to meet you.’

He’s practically whimpering in your lap as he cries harder, his hips never stopping, he needs this so much but so do you, and you let him use you as the growing pressure wrenches a moan from your lips.

‘I love-’

You don’t get to finish as he comes apart underneath you, his body shuddering as he grips you tight and gasps out a series of choked out moans, your eyes fluttering shut as you feel it all travel from the top of your head down to the tips of your toes. You feel the heat between your thighs as he slowly catches his breath, his cheeks turning red under streams of tears in embarrassment for coming from just this much, but you just kiss the tip of his nose and rest your chest against his, let him feel how hard your heart was beating.

‘I love you,’ you whisper now that you can, and he looks at you like you’ve just given him the sun and the moon on a golden platter.

‘I’m so glad I texted you back then,’ he confesses against your cheek, his hands leaving your thighs to rest on your back, keeping you close, ‘I think I started to love you the moment you wanted to actually talk to me.’

‘Lucky for me your standards are so low,’ you joke, but it falls flat in the best of ways as he nuzzles into your neck.

‘It was all I needed, I just wanted someone to believe in me.’ He presses a single kiss to the space where your neck meets your shoulder, and your nails scrape lightly against his scalp as you let out a sigh at the feeling.

‘I told you, I’ll keep cheering you on until it works,’ you remind him, and he sits up straight so he can hold you even closer in his hug, your bodies fitting together perfectly as you hold him back and don’t let go.

The snow is falling lightly outside as you stretch in your chair, your back cracking as you raise your arms high above your head. You’re all done for the day, everything on your list checked off as you glance at the time and see that it’s almost 8PM, he’ll be there soon. You stand and bring the feeling back to your legs before grabbing the remote and turning on the TV, queuing up the next episode of the show you’re marathoning only one at a time each night. You let the recap and intro play and then press pause, it’s nearly time now, and you’re in the middle of grabbing the plates and utensils when you hear a knock at the door. You unlock it and open up to reveal Simon on the other side, all bound up in a large winter jacket, his scarf pulled up high enough to cover his nose and mouth from the cold.

‘You forget your key at work again?’ you tease as he walks in, trailing snow over to the mat where he can take his boots off.

‘Kinda hard to unlock the door with both hands full,’ he points out with a smirk as he then sets the food brought from said work on the table. ‘It’s busy tonight despite the snow, lots of people coming in to escape the chill, had to order these early to make sure they were done on time.’

‘You know I can always make something before you get back, you don’t have to keep bothering Elison over it,’ you remind him, but he won’t hear of it, he loves being able to bring you back something so you don’t have to stop working until you’re ready and you know it.

‘I convinced him to leave the Hotel to come work for me, might as well use him,’ is what he has to say to that, and you can’t argue with it as you both transfer your dinners onto the plates you set out. ‘Besides, it’s the only way I can get my favourites without having to drive across town, that’s a good enough reason to keep bothering him.’

You hum in agreement as you sit down together, the episode playing as soon as you’re settled, and when you’re done eating he curls up next to you, rests his head against your shoulder even though it hurts his neck. You take pity on him and adjust so he can lay more properly, his face still red from the winter chill, and you find yourself paying more attention to him until he feels your eyes on him.

‘You think we can do two episodes tonight before you go back? We’re so close to the season finale,’ you plead in that tone of voice that always gets him, and he looks like he really wants to say yes but he can’t, he doesn’t like leaving the place for so long as is even though his staff is more than capable of watching over things for an hour without him; outside of the weekend it’s the only time you can be together until he gets home at 2AM, when you’re already asleep most nights, and before he leaves again by 9AM, at least until the new year where he plans on hiring more staff if things keep getting better.

‘Not tonight, maybe tomorrow if it’ll calm down when the storm hits, I’ll call it early if it’s bad enough,’ he promises, and you smile and hold his hand as you rewind the episode back to before you stopped watching.

‘Should I be so jealous of a bar?’ you ask rhetorically, and he answers you yes before you playfully hit him and press play again. ‘Maybe I should start working for you part-time, I miss our Friday lunches, you’re too busy for me now.’

‘I’m never too busy for you,’ he reassures you so gently and genuinely before kissing you, the scene you just rewound to getting ignored again as you don’t let him go after just one. ‘I wouldn’t mind having you there, though, even if I think we might not get a lot done whenever you’re there.’

‘I’m just trying to make some C0NN3CT10N$,’ you say as slowly and as slyly as you can, drawing out the word as he just stares at you, ‘y’know like the bar’s na-’

He silences you with another kiss, this one a little more chaste as he laughs against your lips. ‘Yeah, yeah I know,’ he chuckles, and once again the episode is rewound so you can watch it, your arms around him for the rest of the hour he sets aside just for you each night, and in your head you make a mental note to thank your mother for recommending that son of a friend of a friend of a co-worker 10 months too late as he lovingly holds you right back.

[void-of-unparalled-chaos]

Okay so now that the semester is over, here is a list of actual things my paleontology professor said/did during lecture and discussion:

“I've watched this like 20 times now” (Prehistoric Planet 2 trailer)

“Hi yes I am me, an exemplar of our species. A prime specimen.”

*visible confusion while reading the Colossal website*

“Turkeys can be terrifying. Birds are terrifying in general”

“That’s David Attenbourough not a bird.”

“Thank you for clarifying.”

“You’re welcome! It’s what I’m here for! This is why I have a Ph.d!”

“You need to have a healthy bullshit meter to read any paleontology paper.”

“As I keep telling you, life hates us.”

“Look at the size of the head compared to the body. This is just stupid.”

“Look at the butt of that thing!”

*measures with hands on screen*

“This is a stupid looking animal.” (Cotylorhynchus romeri)

"for example comparing femur robustness is ... what does that even mean?"

“You can laugh…this is a stupid looking creature!”

“Then of course you have your penis worms.”

“Holding fossils from the Burgess Shale is a religious experience.”

“It would be a very mossy world, which I am not opposed to. I like moss :)”

“Taxonomy is a clusterfuck.”

“This is probably one of the most ridiculous animals to have ever evolved.” (Whales)

“It looks like a strange monster from the black lagoon.” (Maiacetus)

“It’s a magical Liopleurodon!”

*does push ups on a table to show us how a fish would have walked*

*showing us a video of a crocodile taken by someone in the water*

“Do NOT do this. Don’t jump into the water with a crocodile. It will end very badly :(“

“This was like one of the weirdest papers I’ve seen. Alright so Ken Carpenter is a very legitimate paleontologist in Colorado. He normally worked with dinosaurs but he also decided to try and figure out how mosasaurs swim. So you look at the skeleton but then you also put two undergrads in a pool, one grabbing the other one's legs to see how that double-limb locomotion would work. It's like the kookiest thing I’ve ever seen published… but yeah I'm not even sure how he got the approval for this… I don’t think this was grant funded… “I would like some undergrad volunteers to jump in a pool, one holding the other ones legs to see if they will drown.””

*rants about the size of the mosasaur in Jurassic World and debates with a student whether or not an actual size mosasaur could pull a T. Rex into the water*

“I like owls. They look like they are wearing trousers :)”

"The Ice Age movie was a missed opportunity. There were so many cool animals they could have used and they didn't use ANY of them! There were giant ground sloths that were so big you can stand in their fossilized burrows! Yeah sure we have that one guy...what's his name...Sid? Yeah sure we have Sid but Sid is NOT a giant ground sloth. That's not even mentioning all of the horses and bison and bears and lions! Its disappointing!"

...

"I was on a podcast about this :D"

[ao3-shenanigans]

Okay wait here me out!

I never truly understood Hanahaki AUs where once character A confesses, B's all like "Actually, I liked you too for a while now!" because isn't it a sickness about unrequited love?

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind when characters finally confess and they get the sickness cured but what about literally SO MANY OTHER POSSIBILITIES!! I have a couple ideas in my head but don't have the chance to write them atm, but I was wondering about your thoughts on them!

So the first idea is what if you still want that happy ending but don't want the instant gratification? Like, A confesses to B and B is like "I'm sorry, I don't love you, but I want to take care of you to make this process go smoother for you." (And maybe add some guilt for some ✨spice✨) And eventually, B SLOWLY falls for A as they take care of them, but are unaware of said feelings until A's final dying breath and their final request is at least a kiss, even if B didn't love them. B desperately follows through trying to save A after realizing that they finally got feelings for them and BOOM! Happy ending!

Another idea is where character A is Aromantic so they literally cannot love B, and they know that. After realizing that B has gotten Hanahaki, A stays silent about it, not wanting to assume that B got it over them and wants to take care of them. B then says in a feverish state just how much they like A and let's just say the angst can get pretty heavy with this...

Now I like this one idea I have cause it mixes Hanahaki and the Red String of Fate! This one actually involves many characters and is a little more complex so my there are still some wrinkles in this idea, but what if A got Hanahaki for B, and B has Hanahaki for C, who's interested in someone else and C even gets with that person later. Eventually A confesses to B and B gets with A, curing A's Hanahaki, but B still dies because they couldn't let go of their feelings for C. That's when character D comes along, able to see the Red String! D can see other people's string, but doesn't have one for themselves for whatever reason (idk yet) and can see A's broken string and C actually even has a broken string because of their deep friendship to B. D then tries to figure out what the broken strings mean because they never seen it before, eventually falling for A, who (maybe) falls for them back. Again, still working on this idea! Just thought it'd be interesting to combine 2 AUs together!

This is all I have for now, but if you want more for me to share, I can gladly do so! If you could rate the Hanahaki trope in general out of 10 what would you pick? Feel free to even rate my ideas if you want! I won't take it personally if you don't like them, haha! Have a lovely week!

Friend I’m listening 👀

I did read a fic where the love interest couldn’t love back, not right away and it scared him because how are his feelings responsible for the life of his friend? How do you fall in love with someone on demand? It was really good

(I’ll link it below for anyone interested)

Ive read maybe 6 or 7 hanahaki fics? Its not one I frequent often, but I do enjoy the ones with a fun little twist in them :D

If you continue the AU please! Send updates and ideas! I’d love to hear them!

Fic mentioned:

Full, riotous bloom by BigTed on ao3

[thewritersofdeceased]

Prompt: Y/N is coming to visit the boys, after years of being apart. How do they all react? (Part 1? I might make a part 2!)

Pairing: Bat Family x Reader

Mentioned Characters: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth.

Requested?: Nope!

Gotham City.. The city of the Night.. The city where all crime came to light. To Justice. That's what everyone said.

But what Gotham wasn't? It wasn't the place 21 year old y/n found themselves revisiting. It felt like years had passed. Which it was. After leaving from sophomore year of Y/N and their parents had to move.

But now at the ripe age of 21, they were finally going back. Back to the place it had all started. Growing up in Gotham wasn't fun, but they had their friends here and there.

First it started with a boy by the name of Dick Grayson. An Acrobat. Someone who in their opinion deserved better. Growing up after family's passing didn't seem like fun. But when he had met you, your personalities clicked almost instantly. He would tell you when he worked as Robin as patrol, telling you the amount of bad guys he got, how him and Bruce argued, everything like that.

Next up had been Jason after Dick had left without warning. Now with Jason, it took a bit for him to warm up to you. But he saw you as an older sibling figure, and that was alright. You taught him how to cook, alongside Alfred. Bruce was fine with you usually coming around, especially with Dick no longer being around. When you left Gotham, you didn't know of Jason's death until only a few months later. In which you were out of town with family.

Now, with Tim, you had met him during a coffee run. You had almost tripped into him and his computer, but thankfully he had caught you just in time. Apologies spewled left and right between you both, but he seemed okay. That was a plus! You two bonded over games and crimes, which surprised some folks to an extent. You hadn't known of his identity as Red Robin, but slowly you pieced it together.

Damian... The last and final Wayne you had met during your freshman year at Gotham High. What a surprise that the thing you two bonded over was animals? You had been wandering around, trying to find a lost kitten that had gotten stuck somewhere in the school, and it turns out Damian was too. Now, the two of you found the kitten around the same time, and you two were amazed about it. Well- at least you were.

Slowly, your thoughts had come to a stop, the plane landing near a small town only a few minutes away from Gotham. Standing up from the plane and grabbing the suitcase and bag you had brought, there was this calm expression. Having to go all the way through the airport was already a pain in the ass itself.. When leaving the plane and making your way towards the train, you sat quietly. Playing your favorite playlist(or podcast, etc), your eyes landed outdoors through the window.

[aziraphales-library]

hello! i just recently read the rainbow road series and its absolutely amazing would definitely recommend it to anyone :) it's about crowley (AJ) and aziraphale (ezira) both being f1 drivers and it's been so fun to read so i'm wondering if you know other fics with these two involved in some sports as athletes or something??

thank you!!

Hi. We have a #sports tag. Here are more to add...

Holy Warrior by AlwaysDoe (M)

When a rookie introduces himself with a bang at AJ’s Boxing Gym, owner Crowley is reluctant to invest in him as the potential champion they so badly need. As it turns out, stepping into the ring isn’t nearly as terrifying as trying to fight your own feelings.

Big Wave by snae_b (E)

Aziraphale has been champing at the bit to ride the big waves off the coast of Nazaré. It’s a shame that when the opportunity finally arises, it means teaming up with his nemesis. And that in this tiny seaside town, there are only so many available hotel rooms...

To be Your Prince by Phoenix_Soar (T)

It was their shared dream to stand together on the Olympic podium, as figure skaters, rivals, best friends. But a twist of fate has Aziraphale and Crowley pursuing different paths, the former as a Singles skater and the other an Ice Dancer. It wouldn’t be so terrible, Aziraphale thinks, if he didn’t have to watch Crowley skate with someone else day after day. Someone that isn’t him, and to know he’ll never get to be with Crowley like that, in front of the whole world. (Figure skating AU)

Upon This Rock by Eowyn1846 (M)

Crowley and Aziraphale meet as teenagers participating in a youth curling league. Years after losing touch when Crowley's family moves away, the two former friends are reunited at a major tournament...as competitors on two very cut-throat teams, whose captains seem willing to win at any cost, even to the detriment of the sport.

Angels on High by Santillatron (M)

Aziraphale takes up a new sport. It's all going rather well until he inadvertently takes the top spot on the leader board and ends up accidentally starting a feud with the previous holder of the title. The man is arrogant, rude, and seems to think Aziraphale has somehow targeted him specifically. Not the kind of man Aziraphale wants to get to know at all, really.

Strike Three: You're in Love by AnnaTheHank (E)

The company baseball league was the last place Crowley wanted to be. But after meeting one of the opposing team's catchers, Aziraphale, he's a little more commited to the idea. A happy little low-stakes AU in which Crowley and Aziraphale awkwardly flirt at the plate and have some fun off the field.

And the first fic in the series you mentioned, which we have recommended before...

Sit Tight, Take Hold by nieded (E)

The summer of 2022, Ezira Phale is a rookie Formula 1 driver out to prove he's one of the best racecar drivers in the world, but everything gets turned upside down when he falls in love with his real-life idol, AJ Crowley. Or: The one where Crowley does not go too fast for Aziraphale. _____ This story uses a multi-media format with CSS and HTML. It's best read using the workskin so please make sure that you are enabling user workskins. If you do not want to use the workskin, I will also be posting a .pdf of each chapter and a final .pdf once everything is posted! I’m not so cool as to know how to do podcasts, manips, and videos, but this will feature scripts, news articles, text messages, tumblr, and race programming! So strap in and put your seatbelt on! This is going to be one fast ride of romance, competition, and over-indulgence.

- Mod D