#trying so hard which would be fine if the rap was good but it isn't

[f-ngrl]

[Rising Verse] KHAN, NSW yoon, Fleeky Bang

[rakumel]

It's been....a while...since I last talked about anything Animaniacs related. I wound up not really liking the first season of the 2020 reboot, so I didn't bother trying to find a way to watch the second one.

But a few months ago, the library where I work acquired both seasons of the reboot on DVD. And well, I kinda toyed with the idea of trying to watch it again, now that it was a lot easier to do so. Animaniacs was once be a big part of my childhood, after all. Hard to just shut it out completely.

Right before the 4th of July weekend, I broke down and checked out the first season DVDs. I had that day off anyway, was going to be alone, and honestly wasn't feeling very patriotic. (Basically a typical 4th weekend for me, honestly. One year I "celebrated" by staying in and watching both Blade Runner films.)

Anyway, I didn't get around to watching that evening, but I tried again during the next long weekend I had available (this past one). So far I've only watched the first seven episodes. It's taking longer than it usually would because I'm taking notes this time around - in case I want to do a proper episode by episode review in the near future.

Still, even this far in, was the reboot as bad as I remembered? Yes and no. There were some high points that I'd forgotten about; mostly in the first and last episodes on the disc. Some of the cartoon titles are clever, like "Suspended Animation" and "France France Revolution" (seriously, I love that). And there was at least an effort to stay true to the original spirit of the original show while also adapting the new one for today's audience; in a few instances they actually succeeded very well. (Putting Yakko in a rap battle was fantastic. I just wish it had ended a little better.) And most of the Pinky and the Brain episodes I've rewatched so far are very much in keeping with the original.

But....well. (Here I take a deep breath and sigh. Sadly.) Out of all the episodes I've watched so far, I've laughed maybe...twice. And that's being generous. There are a few genuinely good bits, but a lot of the writing just isn't that great. There's a nuance the old show had that's missing in the new, plus they have a bad habit of just reaching a stopping point instead of a proper ending. A lot of times the cartoon would be over, and I'd just be sitting there baffled, or feeling pissed because the ending was just that rushed or stupid. The trademark pop culture references are fine, and they don't over-rely on them (which is good), but even when I'm in on the jokes they're weirdly not that funny.

And then there's the overemphasis on gross-out things. Sure, the old show had its gross-out moments too, but I don't remember them being nearly as prevalent and gratuitous as they are in the new show.

For example, in the last episode I watched, there was a scene in which a woman is reunited with her beloved poodle, Gigi. She hugs Gigi (aww), and then for several awkward seconds Gigi licks her owner's puckered lips in slow motion, complete with copious amounts of animated drool (eww). Then the woman takes a dog treat, chews it up, and opens her mouth to feed it to Gigi, baby bird style (wtf?!?).

Like...I get it. They wanted to show how dedicated this lady was to her dog in an over-the-top way. (Or, if there were an interview where one of the animators said they based that scene off of something they literally saw a dog owner do, it wouldn't surprise me.) But it's still nasty, plus my god you've not only made your point, you've clubbed me over the head with it. MOVE ON. And that's not the grossest thing in the season either.

Speaking of gross, I don't know what it is about the human characters in the reboot, but aside from the new WB CEO all of them look hideous. I still can't put my finger on why exactly, especially since the Warners themselves look just fine. In fact they're a little wilder looking, with fuzzy hair (head fur?) and occasional fangs, and I really like it. It's not the exaggerated features; human characters on the old show had those too and it...didn't bother me then? I just don't know. My best guess is that they've got a Ren and Stimpy vibe to them (which goes with the gross-out stuff), and I never liked that show. I don't care how original or boundary-pushing it was at the time. It's just never been my thing.

Finally, and it's a very very minor thing but it's a little disappointing all the same: they don't quip after the end credits anymore. Boo.

I still don't know yet if I want to expand this into a proper episode review, if I even have the time. I may wind up just putting my thoughts down on some of the better or more famous episodes. But I am curious enough to try the second season, to see if it got any better. My instinct tells me no, but I want to be fair and give it a chance.

I'm also struggling with describing why the irreverence of the original Animaniacs show is endearing to me, but the new one's is off-putting. You could argue it's just nostalgia, and you wouldn't be totally wrong, but I know it's more than that. It's not that one is crass and the other isn't; both of them absolutely are. It's more like...with the old show, when it was crass, I found myself asking things like: "How do we define "high" art anyway?" and "Okay, I just watched the Warners do a swing number for baby Jesus. Was that utterly and irredeemably irreverent, or was it the most genuine gift of themselves they could give, thereby staying true to the message of the song 'Little Drummer Boy' and not actually breaking any taboos whatsoever?"

Whereas when the new show is crass, I ask myself things like, "Did they really need to show them licking a diseased pigeon that close up?" and "Am I wasting my life, watching this?" and "Oh god why? WHY?? Where is the brain bleach??!"

[wraithdance]

I’m glad you made a post talking about how it’s okay for non poc to reblog those posts & stories. I’m a white cis woman and I always hesitate to do that because I know it’s not meant for me.

A creator here blocked me because I liked one of their fics & their content “wasn’t for me to like.” I’ve also been told that I shouldn’t listen to the song “Black Barbie” because it’s not meant for me.

This absolutely is not a “woe is me” thing, I just always have a hard time with interacting with poc or the lgbtq+ communities because I’ve seen so many of them talk about how much they hate when white people try to interact with their content (which is fair, I guess?).

I really struggle to navigate what I’m allowed to do and what I’m not. I’m a little older so I try to be sensitive and attentive to how other people feel about people like me, it just gets a little discouraging to get blocked & told to fuck off because I’m white. I can’t really be mad about it, obviously.

Hi! So again, I in no way claim to be an expert on all things black/poc or marginalized, we don't all share the same boundaries and what not, so a good rule of thumb would be to check out the blog for a 'Do not interact' list that states explicitly ‘x’ ppl don't engage. (More thoughts below the cut but that's the main take away to this ask.)

If you do all that and still get blocked that's kinda a meh oh well situation because at least you did your due diligence. Personally I 10000% curate my irl spaces to not center white people or non queer, non fat people as much as I can, because it is exhausting being considerate of others who don't understand the core of how I have to navigate my life. I'm a little more lax online because I do really like engaging with everyone and unfortunately theres very few poc people in this fandom in general. But it's why you'll never see me say the N-word on here or make posts that I really would only feel comfortable with black people engaging with because I know I have a mixed following.

For the music thing for me personally I'm not the most comfortable when non black people interact with really, really culturally specific rap music without knowing their anti-racist views first. because there's a history of tokenizing, colonizing and meme-fying black music and our artists. If you can enjoy the song with efforts to be respectful I personally don't give a fuck, ask the next black person and they say something different so its case by case.

When LGBTQ+ people and POC people say they don't want white/straight people to interact its probably because the internet is the one space they don't have to curate or mask their person-hood. So, you should absolutely respect that and kanye shrug if you ever see a request for white/straight people to DNI with fics. I know you said this isn't a woe is me thing but I'm a little concerned about you having a hard time interacting with the LGBT/POC communities bit. Could you possibly explain further?

Because in my experience where one marginalized person does not want to engage with a privileged party, there's like ten more marginalized people who are open to conversations or friendship with someone outside of their experience. So you absolutely should not be deterred from engaging with LGBT/POC people or anyone not like you and their works.

It's fine that it hurts your feelings but I'm telling you now, with more kindness than another person may be able to afford, your hurt feelings about being blocked is minuscule when you're able to exist in spaces that disregard us/are violent towards us in and off the internet. Just do what you can to research and unpack what you can, that's all you can do!

[littlemisssquiggles]

So…about the Miraculous: Ladybug and Chat Noir The Movie…

I recently sat down and watched it this week.

This is just a compilation of notes and comments that I took while watching the film. I’ve seen other folks do something similar where they post little bullet points of their thoughts while watching something so in a sense you can consider this my own take on it.

If you wish to  jump straight to my final thoughts on the movie, you can skip my notes all the way to the end of my post.

But in a nutshell---as a former miraculer, I really, really liked this movie! If I needed an excuse to get back into Miraculous, this film gave me one.

Squiggly Notes from the Movie:

Personally I could've done away with this being a musical.

Chloe is less of a "bitch" in the movie. She's still a bully but they made her more of a drama queen which actually makes her feel more pleasant than her animated series counterpart. In the series, it just felt like the show was trying way too hard to make Chloe into an irredeemable character to the point of her behaviour being almost cartoonishly evil at times. Dare I say, it got utterly ridiculous after a point.

What! They have other classes at Marinette's school besides the main one with Ms Bustier?

What! Adrien's mom has a speaking role in this movie? She isn't a corpse for 5 whole seasons!

Adrien's introduction is interesting. Like how he and Marinette met. It's quite cute and hearing his first impressions of her is nice but this is one moment where I have to give it to the animated series. I actually prefer the "Coup de Foudre" moment from the series with the umbrella much better and wished that moment in particular was also reenacted in the film. But that’s just me.

The series delivered better on how Adrien was chosen to become Chat Noir by having him also be selected by Fuu because he also chose to help him in a time of need as opposed to the ring just going to Adrien automatically on a whim. The movie shows why Marinette would be chosen since she helped Fuu, in keeping with the series, but skipped Adrien's choosing. Didn't like that.

Tikki RAPS now! Also...Tikki's personality in the movie is...different.

Didn't get to see Adrien's side of things but I gotta say, I LOVE Adrien as Chat Noir in the film. The film improves on CN as both as hero and partner to LB and as a fan of CN, I am here for it.  

WHAT! Fart jokes. They have fart jokes in this movie and of course, they had to give it to Plagg because of course. I'm sorry. Another point for the animated series since they never relied on toilet humour; at least to my memory.

Plagg's favourite thing to eat is camembert cheese which is a "smelly kind of cheese". Plagg NEVER ate rotten food straight from the trash! What is this?! Look how they massacred my boy!

WHY IS PLAGG FARTING! STOP!

WHAT! Natalie has her own house! I thought she practically lived at Agreste Manor 24/7 based on the series.

Even Gabriel gets a song! I stand by my earlier comment. This movie did not need to be a musical. It could've been a regular ass feature film since in my opinion, the songs mess with the pacing of the story for me. All the moments of pause for the characters to suddenly break into song feels a bit jarring at times.

"Chaos Will Reign Today" is ZAG's attempt at a "Be Prepared" from the Lion King and I'm sorry, it doesn't work since while BP made Scar appear sinister as he should as the main villian, CWRT just made Hawkmoth look goofy especially when he was skipping down the alleyway. I mean the song was fine and the singing was alright. Just wished they had made it more sinister. This adds another knotch in why I would've preferred the movie to not be a musical. Thus far none of the character songs have been BOPs. Compared to other animated musicals, the songs just aren't spectacular enough and end being more of a distraction and not so good deviation from the plot. I find myself being more invested in returning to the story than sticking with the music.

Hawkmoth creating villains out of ACTUAL criminals he broke out of jail as opposed to innocent civilians makes perfect sense and gives him an actual army of lackeys he could always utilize as opposed to re-akumatizing the same people on repeat (e.g. Mr. Pigeon)

The moment is the film where Marinette transforms into Ladybug officially for the first time feels unearned in my opinion. This is another example where I think the series delivered better on this development. In the series, Marinette gained the courage to become LB after her new friend Alya was attacked by an akumatized Evan who was also shown to be a good friend of Marinette's. Marinette has a legit drive to want to become a hero in the moment. Not one but TWO people she cared about were in danger so it helped to drive her call to action which provided as a terrific build up. The movie doesn't have that. It's weird how the movie didn’t utilize Marinette's bond with her loved ones as a motive to become a hero. She just sees the villains attacking and just decides to look inside of herself to find the courage to become the hero in the moment. And while I do like this part, I just wished it was preluded by some kind of preliminary moment that gives Marinette a reason to become the hero. Like for example, her dad being in danger and Marinette has to save him. That could've been a good catalyst. But the movie didn't do it, disappointingly so the moment ends up feeling flat. Not even the second Marinette solo song was enough to help sell this scene for me. This is another odd decision that the movie made. The film chose to eliminate Marinette's connection to her classmates. In the series, Marinette was on good terms with her peers. While she was still the class clutz often tormented by Chloe, Marinette still got along with her other classmates like Evan for example (who she was seen giving advice when he expressed wanting to write a poem for Mylene who Evan had a crush on). In the movie, Marinette is a complete loner---known throughout the school as a magnet for disaster and all of her former classmates are just background characters who just stand and watch her without a care or concern.   Not even characters like Juleka, Rose and Max (who were actually part of Marinette's gal pal support group in the series) seem to care about her as they're just (recognizable) faces in the crowd in the movie.

Chat Noir saying that he's just the side kick only for LB to correct him and say their "partners" got me. Nice save!

Art nitpick---didn't like how they didn't add the honeycomb texture to CN's mask and instead opted for a glittery effect. Why? The texture in on his suit which helps to give a sense of cohision between him and LB who rocks the same texture on her suit. Just wishes they added it to the mask too. LB has the texture all throughout her suit, mask included so why not CN? It's an odd choice.

Chat Noir and LB's duet lovey dovey song scene---alright they got one. I thought this WHOLE moment and sequence was beautifully done. One of the best moments in the whole movie so far.

They did a better job finding a singer who matches the VA with CN than with LB. I have a better time believing that that's what CN would song like singing than with LB.

I like how they showed Gabriel's abuse of the Butterfly akuma affecting him physically based on how disheveled he appeared before Adrien. Also, Gabriel actually expresses how much he cares about Adrien and Adrien actually gets to pop off and chastise his father for neglecting him since his mother passed. Amazing! Point for the movie.

At 1:16:34 into the film---Not a fun touch how they treated Adrien's heartache as a joke during a very serious moment in the film while Marinette gets another solo song. This could've been another perfect opportunity for a duet between our two heroes, this time in their civilian forms but it wasn't taken, sadly.

The final fight between LB and CN vs Hawkmoth is legit the most OP CN has ever been in any given ML content and I love it.

Oh my god! Hawkmoth actually being threatening! LB being vulnerable and having to be saved by Chat Noir! LB getting to return the favour by saving CN and then being all protective of him when Hawkmoth comes for them both. CN being rebellious and badass to Hawkmoth. This whole final fight is just *chef’s kiss*

The movie delivered better than the series! Not only does Hawkmoth get to learn that Adrien is CN, not only does Adrien get to learn that his father is Hawkmoth but the icing on the cake is that there is no animosity. Gabriel doesn't double cross his son and akumatize him. Instead the day is saved by the love between father and son. Adrien encourages his father to let his mother go and Chat Noir purifies him this time. Not Ladybug. Chat Noir/Adrien gets to save his father! What's even more interesting is that the movie retconned the series. Emilee isn't some princess with a twin sister and Adrien isn't a sentimonster born through the.power of the Peacock Miraculous.

They kept the backstory simple but wholesome. The movie delivered better on the development and conclusion to the whole Agreste Family story than the series. One of the main complaints from how the last season of ML was concluded was that Adrien was completely omitted from both the final fight with Hawkmoth and the reveal that the villain was his dear ole dad all along. So it’s fantastic that the movie did a lot better job with this. Not only that but the movie also did better on portraying Gabriel as a sympathetic villain so when he finally does come to his senses in the end and is redeemed, it feels earned or at least better fleshed out than in the animated series.

Gotta love how even in the movie, Master Fu is still portrayed as a shitty ass Guardian. Where the F*** was this man for the majority of the whole movie outside of his first appearance meeting Marinette (and freaking her out with his cryptic speeches).

Also interesting, the Butterfly Miraculous was returned to Master Fu instead of being lost again and ending up in the hands of someone who would abuse it for their own selfish desires.

So they DO do the reveal between our heroes at the end and I gotta say, obviously I prefer how the film did the reveal. So basically after Gabriel was defeated, the powers of the Ladybug earrings and Black Cat ring fade away? I mean it was stated that the powers would only awaken when the world is in chaos. So it would make sense that they would go away once Hawkmoth was defeated.

Something the movie doesn’t confirm is whether or not Gabriel got arrested for his crimes as Hawkmoth. We got him being revealed as the culprit behind the attacks on Paris but no confirmation on whether or not he paid for them. My assumption is that Gabriel is currently in jail for his crimes and while he’s locked away, Natalie is going to be the one to carry on his work.

So it appears that there may be a sequel film in the works because it showed Emily. So my assumption is that we will get the whole Sentimonster plotline from the series but handled much differently based on the final scene. And y’know what? I’m all for Jeremy Zag doing his own take on the Miraculous story.

--------------------------------------------------------

Overall Thoughts on the Movie:

While the film wasn’t perfect---it still had its fair share of flaws but I mostly will blame it on the movie format as opposed to it being a series allowed to build the story from episode to episode. Needless to say, I don’t think I’ll be the only former miraculer in saying this but I prefer the ML film over the series.

Say what you will about Jeremy Zag but he definitely did a much better job with the ML love story for the film than Thomas Astruc, it’s actual series creator, ever did with the story for the animated series. If Zag decides to do his own thing, somewhat soft-rebooting the animated series through the movies then I’m sorry but I’m more in support of the films than the series.

The movie just makes the romance between Marinette/LB and Adrien/CN so much worth the watch. One of the things that made me fall out of love with the series was just how worthless the love story between our two heroes became ESPECIALLY after S3. I found myself not wanting LB and CN to get together anymore since the series did such a disservince in making me care about their love story.

It’s difficult for me to even think that LB even liked CN in the series since we would always get these weird moments where she’s so spiteful and mean-spirited towards him.

It’s for this reason why I enjoyed the movie so much. LB and CN’s flirtatious banter and rivalry was brilliantly handled in the movie. You genuinely felt the chemistry building between them so when they finally do get together in the end, you feel happy for them.

I would give the Miraculous movie an 8.5/10:

Not perfect but definitely leagues better than the animated series in terms of making the audience care about the love story between Ladybug and Chat Noir which is the point of the narrative.

In hindsight, the film just better represented the wholesome charm that got folks like myself invested in Miraculous as a concept in the first place and that's what's so amazing about it to me.

Not to mention that the film handled the final fight between our heroes and the main villain way better than the series did in all 5 seasons, 130 episodes and 2 specials. Let that sink in, will you.

If people are looking to get into Miraculous, I feel like I’d just tell them to watch the film and not bother with the series at all. No disrespect to Thomas Astruc since the series is his brain child but I’m sorry--- Jeremy Zag did the love story he was supposed to tell us a lot better. At least in my opinion.

~LMS (2023)

[wisteriawatching]

Ranking senators' Taylor references from the Ticketmaster hearing

Feels forced in a very "history teacher raps to his class" or "Dean educating Cas about Stonewall in a SPN fic" way. Talk about the Senate majority or make a Taylor Swift reference, but both at once is too much unless it's done well, which this isn't. Plus, the reference is so old -- which would be fine except that I believe this man has not heard a Taylor Swift song in the past decade. All of this earns him last place.

Trying too hard while also lacking confidence -- did you really need to clarify that it's an ode to Taylor Swift? Also, can you really call it an "ode" when it's literally just the title of one of her songs? It's a nod at best. Finally, the sentence structure is wordy and unclear. This whole remark needed major editing. Or to be edited out, as it does not actually add to the point she's making. The only redeeming factors here are that the reference itself does not feel forced (unlike its placement in the sentence), and it was a good song choice. That's enough to avoid last place, I guess.

Weirdly tryhard and also, possibly false? Feels too preachy, like a bad children's book (it even has a rhyme stuck in an awkward meter). Would have been stronger with more album titles included -- something about fighting blue vs red, being fearless in the face of problems, do I really have to explain to you how speak now could fit in here -- which would also eliminate the repetition. This reference is very middle-of-the-pack, which kind of says something considering how low effort it is. I will say I kind of dig the subtle "if you know you know" nature of this one. (N.B. I did not watch or listen to this hearing and thus cannot account for delivery.)

A timely reference to Taylor's current top hit. The lyric fits into the sentence without feeling too clunky. Overall, a fairly impressive showing, but it gets docked points for use of the word "respectfully" directed toward Ticketmaster. Using "with all due respect" would take this to the next level.

Well-crafted. The reference is essential to the meaning of the statement -- it is actually being used to communicate. The use of 1989 hits a sweet spot, the Goldilocks of eras (not too old/outdated, not too new/bandwagony). The line is recognizable, yet slightly more obscure (it's relative), which lends the whole thing a more authentic cool. This is the best one.

[benayoung]

"i'm concerned about everyone. the competition is difficult." (mentioned: @bexstevie @bejaeyoung @beseira )

new year, new survival show, it would seem. this would technically be her fourth, if she can count it, since she's not a contestant this time.

still, sitting down for an interview, in front of a camera again, feels a little like returning home.

she can't help but think of all of the different people she's been in rooms like this one, from the fake happy-go-lucky girl in her first season to the hardened "ice queen" she is today. she actually smiles a little, then looks to the interviewer expectantly.

"what are your first impressions of the talent this season?"

that's a good question, honestly. "they're probably better than us," she admits with a bark of laughter. "that's how these shows always work, right?" from her experience, somehow, new talent always surges upwards and surpasses its predecessors. it frightens her a little, but she doesn't feel threatened by any of the girls this season – at least not yet. maybe she'll see who her ceo selects for sr media and change her mind.

"none of the ceos said they wanted to sign anyone on day one last season, so i think that already says enough," she points out, but she doesn't take it personally.

"what do you think of initial rankings?"

"my job is to coach, not to judge," she says diplomatically. "thankfully." she smiles, close-lipped. will that stop her from judging people? absolutely not. will it stop her from saying anything judgmental in this moment? yes.

"based on what you've seen, who do you think has center potential?"

nayoung pauses in thought for a moment. "i think stevie could be a good center for the boys. his voice and rapping both still need work, but i think his previous experience on next gen shows in his skill level overall. i'm just afraid he was more..." she pauses again, trying to think of how to explain it, "endearing, last season? he's nervous this season, which is good, because it means he cares now. but it's also bad, because i think it's getting to his head. if he can find a way to shake off his nerves and be himself while still taking the competition seriously, he'll be in contention for a high rank the entire season, in my opinion."

of course, nayoung has paid attention, and has a lot of opinions. "song jaeyoung is incredibly well-rounded. if the judges are searching for a center who's good at singing, rapping, and dancing about equally, he would be a good pick. i find that he's missing a certain spark, though. he isn't very memorable to me when he performs, and i personally feel that's important for a center to have."

"as for the female center, i think my top pick is han yura. she's not the most captivating performer of the season, but she's pretty and has no significant weaknesses that i've seen. she's a good rapper, which is important for the center of this season, but she's a solid singer as well, and she's kept up fine with the choreography."

"are there any contestants you're concerned about?"

"i'm concerned about everyone. the competition is difficult," she laughs, and it's both sincere and not. she isn't that concerned – ultimately what happens to the contestants of this show matters little to her. she knows it can be hard on people, though, and she knows they're all inexperienced.

"it's volatile, too. one week you can be in first and the next you can be at the bottom of the rankings," she speaks from experience. "who is having trouble this week might shine next week. it really just depends."

"if we're only talking about this week?"

"if we're only talking about this week, seira comes to mind. she's a skilled rapper, but she's not confident in her dancing, and her vocals........" nayoung has nothing nice to say there. "i don't think she'll be center. i hope she isn't eliminated, though, because while she isn't center material in my opinion, i think she has other things left to show."

"any final words?"

nayoung bows in her seat. "thank you! i'm grateful i got to coach everyone this week and i hope i'm able to continue." she honestly has no idea what the future holds.

[kimchokejin]

i was tagged by my medicine patch for motion sickness @rms-expensive-girl, my blue mold @fi-lter, and the sleep in my eyes @lesovoj to play this game! not me looking up namjoon's most wtf lyrical compliments...kim namjoon greatest metaphysical poet of our generation?

template on left, mine on right

tagging: @94ishlove, @mindofnmn, @bangguks,  and anyone else who wants to do this! <3

no one asked and this isn't even part of the game but here is my origin story: 

i will first mention that i did have a bunch of friends in high school who liked kpop but they never tried too hard to get me into it. the only attempt i remember was a friend who was obsessed with the i'll eat you up song by boa and it's a banger for sure but she sang it all the time and after a while it just...left a bad taste in my mouth. and then there was gangnam style. those were the only other kpop songs i really knew and they didn't really make me want to listen to more kpop

i first heard about bts specifically from my younger sister in 2017 (?) when she and her friends were just obsessed with them. she never tried to show me anything to get me into them but she would play their music really loudly in the car but the only songs i remember her playing were not today and dna and at the time the sound of those songs, especially playing so loud, just wasn't my thing. not today kinda gave me anxiety lol. i vaguely remember watching the dna music video because there was also so much hype and i was curious but i was going through some things and i was just a really negative person at the time and i think all the colors and smiles and the meaning of the song turned me off even more

but i think another reason why i didn't really explore further, even after they started showing up on american tv, was that i was a really big fan of one direction and i was a little too invested in the friendship between the members. towards the end of their time and soon after it became pretty clear that the guys weren't as close as i thought they were. like maybe they aren't on bad terms (i think a few of them were at one point) but it was just like, the friendship goals fantasy crumbled, and it was still kinda fresh. so anytime i thought about another boyband i was just like what's the point??? it's all fake love and they don't last. sorry i was very bitter about it lol

my next opportunity to get into bts was in 2019 when they did boy with luv barely feat. halsey. i wasn't even going to listen to it because i was just like i'm not into bts why would i? but i was on tumblr occasionally at the time and people were going crazy over it and it had halsey in it so i was like okay fine and watched the video. but at THAT time i was getting over a breakup so that song did NOT resonate i was just like nice try but men are incapable of love please take your lies elsewhere thx. so i missed my chance there lmao

and then suga's interlude was on halsey's manic album that i was OBSESSED with so i listened to it quite a few times but i don't think that particular rap was enough for me to look into them further. i did like the sound of his voice though

then in summer 2020 (!!!) my roommate (a friend from high school, who has actually been an on and off army since no more dream but never mentioned it) randomly one day was like hey, can i show you like 7 kpop videos and you tell me which one you like best? because i guess there were just a lot of good songs that came out at the same time. it was just a little game so i was like sure! i watched the videos and i was surprised that i liked some of the songs. in particular summer hate by zico and rain and pporappippam by sunmi. so i was already in the mindset of maybe i actually do like kpop? hahaha...little did she know...

and then like two weeks later dynamite came out and my roommate was like hey, i think you should try and listen to this one too, i think you would like it. and as you know the song was a bop, and i was learning to be less cynical at the time so the happy colorfulness was actually ...fun? and since i liked the song my roommate was like you know, since you liked one direction i think you would like bts. and by that point i was over the one direction breakup and just enjoying their solo music so i was like okay, i think i'm ready to be hurt again

so my roommate showed me all their music videos first and honestly i still wasn't hooked right away. most of the songs had to grow on me and as you know some of the old videos were pretty cringey haha. hell even dynamite made me cringe. like the intro where jimin shoots you with his finger? i was like oh god oh god oh god oh god no please stop. but look at me now!!!

so i told my roommate the main reason i was into one direction was their personalities. so if i watch content that shows their personalities i might get more into them. that didn't work right away either just because i was still learning their names and i couldn't match the personalities with the people. but i just kept watching stuff because i was intrigued and maybe just maybe i wanted another emotional support boyband? i think eventually it was a mix of their sense of humor (comedians are lucky bts chose music), their performances, and their underdog story that really got me hooked. and my roommate started playing their music in the car all the time lol. i don't know the exact moment i officially knew i was IN IT but dynamite was my official introduction and it didn't actually take too long after that (maybe a month or two) for me to be OBSESSED

so tl:dr in the past i didn't have the best impression of kpop, i was bitter about one direction, and just a negative nancy and that's why i didn't get into bts for YEARS. but then my roommate showed me dynamite and much much more when i was in a better place and here i am 1.5, almost 2 years later!

[exploding-fountain]

The New Six (episode 1)

Time-stamped links to each performance: Sungjun, Taehun, Kyungjun, Hyunsoo, Junhyeok, Junhyeok again, Eun Hwi.

So P Nation just released a 34 minute video on TNX's final pre-debut evaluations. First off, where are the other performances P Nation 👀 You can't tease us like that 🔪🔪🔪

But in all seriousness they'll probably release more. After all this video was all singing (and rapping), no dancing, and I'm sure they did some dance performances as well. So far P Nation's content game has been top-notch. This final pre-debut evals was a great idea. It has a little survival show energy (that little bit at the beginning with the whole "I started to wonder if we would ~ever~ debut!" like yeah sure it's a real mystery). It showcases their skills which fans love, Psy gets to monologue his heart out (him saying "oh Kyungjun might come off as cold but really he's just very shy!" like he's trying to forestall something, we get a few interview clips of the guys, and they were gonna do it anyway. like what are monthly evals but a camera-less survival show? Also, like Psy said, they perform better when the cameras are on. It's that dress rehearsal adrenaline babey. Also also the video says Ep. 1 implying there's others.

Secondly, I was surprised by how good they all are at singing. I suppose the singing I've heard from them, on stages with hard choreos and backing tracks, wasn't the same as sitting in a chair and singing your heart out. It's still obvious that Junhyeok is their main vocal, but Sungjun, Kyungjun, and Taehun were better than I'd expected. Taehun has a really nice falsetto and I really liked Kyungjun's cover of Hollywood's Bleeding.

Kinda curious as to who those people sitting on the bench were. Are they other trainees? It's hard to tell since they're wearing masks and in the background but some of them were definitely girls.

I really appreciate Junhyeok singing his sad ballad soul out. The way it took him ten seconds to shake off his sad funk after his performance bc he got so into it. Guy really could be an actor. I know TNX is gonna be a hip hop based kpop group but I hope Junhyeok gets to sing his ballads. I mean how hard can it be to throw a ballad into an album list? (I say, knowing nothing of music production).

P Nation artists seem to have a habit of collabing ("I rep P Nation this and everyday thing") and I hope they collab with TNX as promotion. And just in general. I want to see more of Dawn before he enlists.

Kind of don't like how they don't mention Koki. It feels like they're trying to cover it up–the whole bit about Sungjun being the youngest (now) and no longer the shortest didn't sit right with me. You put him in all your content. They didn't eliminate him, they eliminated Daniel. Which I'm still salty about by the way. Isn't he exactly what Psy was looking for? I get that he's (really) behind in dance but so is Eun Hwi. At the end of the day we're not entitled to answers, only Daniel is. But it means that from P Nation's perspective Loud was just the journey to find Eun Hwi. And to build a fanbase. Which they did. I'm here, aren't I? Ugh.

But I'm so glad that Koki's not debuting. I hope he enjoys his childhood. I hope he doesn't spend the next six years stuck in practice rooms, losing sight of what he's passionate it about. He has eight years until he's as old as TNX's oldest member. Eight years. As long as he practices singing he'll be fine–he's already a main dancer.

As an example I propose: Lily Morrow, Nmixx's oldest member and main vocal. In 2014 she was on Kpop Star and placed fourth when she was only twelve. Since then she's seen Twice, Itzy, Stray Kids and NiziU debut and wasn't in any of them, nor was she on Sixteen or the Stray Kids show. From 2014-2022 she was training. So it is possible. Personally I think it's a waste of childhood to spend it like that, but I can't fathom wanting to be a kpop idol, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thirdly, I really appreciate Psy's speech at the end. (Also starting the sentence with "that thing that Native Americans do" had my problematic sensors tingling. But it was fine! I mean, I'm sure not all of them do it but it could've gone badly, is what I'm saying, and it didn't. It was wholesome in fact. 100% chance of rain indeed). The whole "debut won't be as successful as you hope, but it's okay because you'll be successful eventually because I'll never give up on you" was really heart-warming. So often I hear about companies tossing groups aside when they're not successful enough or when something new comes along. Of course Psy just saying "I will support you till you become successful" doesn't mean he will, but it still means something that he said it at all.

Finally, Psy saying that Eun Hwi will take care of most of their albums in the very near future tells me that he didn't produce their debut, which I suspected given how little time he would've had to do that. Plus this is the debut of P Nation's first group. They don't have anything to fall back on. I suspect the members contributed to the lyrics though.

(Side note: it sounds like Hwi's song was a pun on his name? His song is called "Up" and every time the captions say he said "up" it sounds like "we-oh" or "hwi-uh." But then I don't speak Korean, so who knows).

I appreciate how at 27:57 the camera moved to his shadow. Nice touch and shows that the people behind the scenes really care about this stuff.

I really appreciate how there were subtitles in English, Chinese, and Japanese (and Korean but those were embedded). It's a little amusing how they just left out words like "weed" and swear words. "I get my from California" bro we can hear him say weed. Or when they left out the intro that was full of swears. Or when Eun Hwi yelled "FUCK" and the captions were like 😐 👀 he didn't say anything.

Overall very excited!

[joezworld]

Toby - Rap God

Guys I was making myself laugh when I wrote this - I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. 

Based entirely on one line from this.

2019

There are many engines on the Island of Sodor, and like many people, music is often part of their lives.

Some engines, like Percy and Duck, have no interest in the subject, having never been exposed to it in a real manner.

Others, like Gordon and Henry, have extremely well-defined music tastes. (Unfortunately for those around them, they do not like the same music, and arguments often ensue.)

James, being extremely vain, enjoys the songs written about him for the children's television show based on the writings of The Thin Clergyman.

And then there’s Toby...

-----------

Toby is a small brown steam tram. He has spent almost all of his life on Sodor on Thomas' branch line, where he and his coach Henrietta trundle up and down the valley at the top of the line - providing a valuable commuter service from the branch line terminus to the stone mines at Anopha.

Toby likes music, as does Henrietta; they like it so much that in 1989 the workmen installed a radio in Henrietta so that the two could listen to music on it as they worked.

This was very thoughtful gift, but there was a small problem:

The hills outside of the quarry meant that many radio stations couldn't reach the small antenna on Henrietta's roof.

Fortunately, a few did, mostly overpowered stations on the Isle of Man. These stations were designed to reach boats far out at sea, and mainly played uninteresting things like the Shipping Forecast.

There was, however, one station that did come come through loud and clear no matter where you were...

---

You're listening to ManxPirate - the Barely-Seaworthy voice of the Sudrian Sea. I’m your sea-going Deejay - or Sea-Jay - Musik Mike! Up next is our most popular block of the day - that’s right, the JAMS are LOUD and we're all gonna get DEF!

"Oh Henrietta! It's starting!"

"Just be ready on the choruses Toby"

------------------

The sounds of music echoed off of the Els river valley as Toby and Henrietta trundled towards Elsbridge.

Aside from their Quarry duties, Toby and Henrietta also worked 'the school bus', a daily train that carried schoolchildren from the remote farmhouses between Elsbridge and Hackenbeck to the Saint Pedroc's school in Elsbridge.

Toby loved this route - many of the children had been taking 'the bus' since Grade 1, and he felt privileged to have seen them grow up into fine young adults.

-

As he pulled into the platform at Elsbridge station, he saw those young adults crowded around each other.

'"Peep Peep! Let's go, everyone!" he called to the teens.

"Just a minute Tobes!" Called back Sera, one of the teenagers, before she turned back to her friends, who were filming her with their 'smart-phones'.

"Whatever could they be doing?" He asked Henrietta as Sera and her friend Phoebe bounced up and down in unison while waving their arms around.

"Undoubtedly something for the internet," the coach mused. "But I have no idea what - trends change so fast now".

"Internet?" Toby was puzzled. "Don't they need a computer for that?"

"Toby. Smartphones have been around for over ten years. How do you not know about this?"

"I'm sorry that I'm not as technologically advanced as you - but at least I know what steam is!"

"Oh my goodness, it's also a video game company now. You've heard those jokes before!"

Toby and Henrietta likely would have gone on like that until the guard blew his whistle, but Phoebe broke away from the group of teens, her phone in her hand.

"Toby?" She asked, clearly trying not laugh. "Do you know what Vossi Bop is?"

Toby was taken aback. "Of course I do. Vossi Bop isn't my favourite, but that's just because I don't like Stormzy that much - I'm not one for Grime."

Phoebe blinked like she'd been poleaxed. "What?"

"It's a Stormzy song, isn't it?"

"Toby," Henrietta sighed. "She was asking because she thought you didn't know. Was this going to be some kind of thing where you show rap music to the elderly and laugh at them being shocked?" She asked Phoebe, who nodded slowly.

"Well, you're going to have to better than that young lady," The coach smirked. "We've been listening to ManxPirate since before you were born!"

"Really?" The blonde asked slowly.

"Oh yes!" Henrietta boasted. "Eazy-E was still alive when we first tuned in!"

"Oh, em, gee!" The girl said, before turning and shouting down the platform. "Guys! They do know!"

-

The excited teenagers crowded around Toby and Henrietta as they quizzed the tram on rap music. Any thought of leaving on time was totally forgotten about as Toby's extensive knowledge of gangsta rap was laid out for them.

"Mate, mate," said John, one of the boys. "You gotta do The Challenge if you know all this!"

"What challenge?" Toby asked.

The teens clamored over each other, before they all stopped to let someone speak intelligibly.

Rachel Kyndley eventually spoke up: "It's a thing that ManxPirate is doing on TikTok. You sing along to a rap song and whoever does it the best gets to record a charity single with Stormzy!"

The teens again spoke over each other, all claiming that Toby and Henrietta should sing for the challenge.

Toby had to blow his whistle to calm them down. "I suppose there's nothing to lose by it," He said after a moment. "But I should say that my flow isn’t that good."

"Mate, I am amazed that you know what that means,” Said John. “But you just need to sing along to somethin’ that’s already out there.” 

“Oh.” Toby looked back at Henrietta. “Well that shouldn’t be too hard. Do you have any N.W.A we could sing along to?”

As he had the only ‘eye-phone pro’, Simon the student newspaper editor was volunteered as cameraperson, while Rachel set a small ‘blue tooth speaker’ on Toby’s bufferbeam so that he could hear the music.  

The remaining teenagers pulled out their phones as well - whatever happened next was going to be un-fucking-believable. 

-

The music began with record scratching. The kids looked at each other in shock. There was no way that Rachel had picked this.

"Right about now NWA court is in full effect” Henrietta sang.

Rachel had. The teens could barely contain themselves. 

“Judge Dre presiding in the case of NWA versus the police department.

Prosecuting attourneys are MC Ren, Ice Cube and Eazy motherfuckin' E”

Hearing Henrietta say ‘fuck’, was an astonishing experience for the unprepared teenagers.

“Order, order, order, Ice Cube take the motherfuckin' stand

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth

And nothin' but the truth so help your black ass?”

“You goddamn right” Toby responded. Rachel Kyndley barely could hold back a shout of astonishment. I hope there’s no book written about this! She thought.

“Well, won't you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?"

Then there was a record scratching sound. 

The teens knew what came next. They hoped that they were prepared to hear this song come out of Toby.

"Fuck the police comin' straight from the underground!" 

Toby and Henrietta not only sang this lyric, they sang it in harmony. 

The teenagers thought that they had been prepared. 

They were not prepared. 

Most of the next few verses were lost underneath the clamor of twelve teenagers losing their goddamn minds.

--------------------

A few days later

Toby was resting in his shed when a little car came tearing into the station parking lot. More girls than should have been possible to fit in it came tumbling out and made a beeline for his shed, Rachel Kyndley in the lead. 

“Toby! Toby! Toby! You won! You won!” She shouted as she skidded over the gravel. 

“Won what?”

“The Contest!” She shrieked. “Your video went viral and you won The Contest! Stormzy said on Instagram that he was excited to meet you!” 

She and her friends dissolved into happy squealing, preventing any further speech. 

“What’s Instagram?” Toby asked Henrietta. 

--------------------------

The Next Week

Stephen Hatt was enjoying his tea and tolerating his toast and marmalade, when his son Richard burst into his office, waving his phone around like a sword. 

“Were you just not going to tell me that you let Stormzy visit the engines? Or was I just supposed to figure this out when Kieran and Micah tore my ear off for not letting them meet him?!”

“I have a phone, you know. And a receptionist.” Stephen said as he cleaned tea off of his desk. Fortunately, most of it had gone onto the marmalade covered toast, which he unceremoniously dumped into the trash. “And who have I let meet the engines?”

“Stormzy? The rapper? He headlined at Glastonbury last bloody month?”

“I don’t follow.”

“He’s a musician, and you let him record an album with Toby!”

“He recorded music? With Toby? Our Toby?”

“Yes! It was supposed to be a single, but now it’s an album! It hit number one! And it’s been out for three hours!”

“You’re saying this as if I have the slightest idea what you’re talking about.”

“Just read the article!” Richard shoved the phone into his hand. The website for  BBC Sodor and Man was open. 

-

STORMZY DROPS SURPRISE ALBUM WITH SURPRISE COSTARS

ELSBRIDGE - Music fans across the world were surprised this morning when Stormzy unexpectedly announced via Instagram the release of his newest album, Back in Their Day - featuring two of the realest OGs I’ve ever seen.

Residents of Sodor were especially surprised to discover who those “two real OGs” were: Toby and Henrietta, an engine and coach on the Ffarquhar Branch Line. 

This unexpected collaboration began several weeks ago when a viral video on TikTok featuring the pair attracted the attention of the rapper...

-

Stephen skimmed the rest of the article, not quite believing what he was reading. “I didn’t authorize any of this.” He said at last. 

“Really?” Richard said, not quite believing him. “Because that’s what the staff on the Branch told me too.”

“I swear to you I didn’t do anything.”

“Then what, did the biggest star in the country just go to Ffarquhar and record an album with Toby? With nobody’s permission?”

----------------

[TWO YEARS LATER]

--CHANNEL 4 INTERNAL TRANSCRIPT: THE LAST LEG 2021 CHRISTMAS SPECIAL--

ADAM HILLS - So we’ve had a lot of questions, about, the last album you dropped-

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

AH - The one with the train engine -  I think his name is Toby?

STORMZY - And Henrietta. Can’t forget her. 

AH - Of course not.

S - What do you wanna know?

[MORE LAUGHTER]

AH - Well, I don’t have any questions - and when I say we, I don’t mean Alex or our viewers - 

[PROLONGED LAUGHTER]

AH - I mean Josh.

JOSH WIDDICOMBE - [TO ADAM] You’re an Arse. [To STORMZY] - Um, I just wanted to know how you did it really. Is it, is it true that you snuck in and did it all in one night?

S - Oh yeah! Absolutely. ‘Cause, I thought that it was gonna be a one and done, like just a single y’know? So I just went there and was gonna do it and go. But as we kept talkin’ I realized that, that, I just had to make more, and then it became the album and we shot a music video for ‘scrapp’ on the same night and then I did some sound work  and then it went up. 

AH - Just like that?

S - Just like that.

[crystxlclear]

sudden desire

chapter two: coffee times ten

part three of sudden desire

prologue / one / masterlist

in which two best friends won’t admit they’re in love so decide to have a baby together instead.

pairing: marcus pike x original female character

summary: coffee, coffee and more coffee. coraline ropes marcus into babysitting duties.

word count: 4.4k

warnings: the slightest smidge of angst? boyfriend material marcus (needs his own warning because he’s soft af), mentions of divorce? mentions of pregnancy? two idiots being domestic af without realising it. honestly i’m just pulling these warnings out of my ass idk what counts anymore

author’s note: sorry if there’s any errors, i’m honestly the world’s worst proofreader (last time i went to post this, there were still passages from when this wasn’t fanfiction and marcus was an actor like cora, cause that would have made total sense!) but also i get super hypercritical so it’s best if i just don’t read and reread my work oops... anyway, enjoy!

Monday morning comes and she’s wearing the dress that he likes. It's the yellow one she wore the day they met, the reason he calls her sunshine, and she smiles as she sweeps effortlessly into the coffee shop. Coraline pushes the sunglasses she's wearing up onto her head and greets him with a hug and a small 'hello' muffled against his shoulder. 

It's only January but the sun still seeps in too brightly through the shop's thatched windows; it casts her in a halo of gold as she sits in the armchair across from him. Even despite the warmth pooling in the air, he can tell she's still cold, from the way her shoulders shrink inwards and she wraps her arms around herself. If she is cold, she doesn't let him know, just takes a moment to run her hands up her arms before wrapping them around the mug of coffee he'd ordered her. He'd told her to go see someone about it — constant chills aren't exactly normal — but she'd refused, brushing off his concern with a simple shrug of her shoulders and an insistence that she'd be fine. She'd also pointed out that it was, in fact, January and it was meant to be cold, even if it wasn't. It still hasn't stopped him from worrying, though. 

"You left early last night." He points out. Last night, some high-end gallery opening in downtown D.C., too many cameras and far too many people. He’d invited her as his plus one, purely platonically, of course, and because he knew she was the only friend he had that liked art just as much as he did, though she hadn't wanted to go. He hadn't blamed her, especially when they’d got there; Coraline's ex, Scott, and his new girlfriend had shown up, apparently friends with the gallery owner, their hands a little too wandering. If his ex and their new partner showed up, flouting their relationship in front of him, he'd be pretty upset and reluctant to go, too. He’d managed to persuade her to come the night before, albeit through incessant nagging, so much so that he thinks she probably only relented to shut him up. Though, looking back at it now, he wishes they had just stayed at home.

Coraline hums into her coffee cup. Her brown hair still falls in loose, half-styled curls around her face; she tucks a little behind her ear. "I was tired. My bed was calling," she insists with a bright smile. 

He doesn't entirely believe her, even though she's a pretty great actress and, consequently, just as good at hiding how she really feels. Because he knows she saw them last night. It was hard not to; a cramped room like that gave you no place to hide, and they weren't exactly being subtle. He saw the way she'd shuffle uncomfortably then their laughter would filter through the quiet space, soft but still piercing. Marcus was convinced that they were doing it on purpose, especially when he caught Scott stealing glances from across the room whenever he thought no one was looking. He was trying to get a reaction and, being as graceful as she was, she hadn't given him that, even if she had spent the entire night with her brows furrowed and wearing a smile he could tell was fake.

He watches her curiously; the way she sips her coffee slowly, how her hair curls softly against her neck, the gentle curve of her pink lips that seems permenant around him. But he’s never been the most subtle, at least, not around her. She notices him staring, gaze lingering for far too long over the gentle contours of her face, and their eyes meet for a second; they're immediately lit by another even brighter smile that pulls across her glossed lips. "What?" She questions. Her cheeks always flush pink whenever he looks at her for longer than a moment. 

He shakes his head, returning her smile, perhaps a little too enthusiastically when his teeth peak through a little. "Nothing, I just-" I just want you to be happy, he thinks. But he doesn't say it, because she must know that already, and just shakes his head. "Nothing." He repeats. 

"You're staring."

"I am not."

"Yes, you are." She chuckles, poking his leg with the toe of her boot. “Why are you staring?”

"Cora, I'm not staring."

He is staring. He can't help it. Especially when she smiles. 

She regards him for a second. Sometimes, he wonders if she can read his mind, given the way her eyes trace over his face like she's reading a book. Truthfully, he wouldn’t mind if she did read his mind. "I'm fine." She answers the unspoken question lingering thick in the air. The real reason he's looking at her like he is. A laugh lilts at the edges of her insistence and he can tell that she's lying; there's a furrow pulling at her eyebrows that gives her away. He’s learned to look for it. "Why wouldn't I be?" She knows exactly why. But it seems like that's all they talk about, how she is. And she doesn't want to anymore. She's fine. 

Because your ex-husband spent the entire night trying to make you jealous, he wants to say. But he doesn't. He leaves it alone.

Marcus leant back in his chair. He doesn't push it. "No reason." 

Coraline peers at him over the top of her coffee cup — it's almost too big for her hands — but she doesn't press it further, even if she does raise her eyebrows a little. Or, at least, she doesn't get a chance too, because someone is calling out to her from across the coffee shop. "No reason." She repeats with a soft hum. 

She peels her eyes away from Marcus, almost like it's some great hardship to stop looking at him, and turns her smile towards whoever had called her name. He recognises her as Loren Hull, Coraline's childhood best friend, struggling to push through the door with a stroller, even as someone holds the door open for her and another helps her inside. 

Coraline watches with amusement as Loren teeters towards them. "How are you?" She asks as she hugs her. Her attention switches towards the gurgling baby in the stroller; she was chewing on a toy, far too preoccupied to pay attention to anything that was going on around her. That was until she catches sight of Coraline and cries out with glee. "And how's my favourite goddaughter?" She coos. 

Loren huffs out a groan. Her blonde hair is tied haphazardly on top of her head, curls spilling out at either side, falling into her face. There are dark circles beneath her green eyes. "She's great-" She grins down at her daughter for a moment before her head throws back. "But I'm exhausted." She's talking far too fast, the words falling from her mouth, in the same way, an almost nonsensical rambling might. It's almost like she thinks that, if she doesn't talk fast, she'll never be able to get the words out. "I can't stay long- oh, hey, Marcus-" It's like in her hurry and she hasn't noticed he's there until now. He doesn't blame her; Coraline has mentioned that she's still getting to grips with being a single mom. "-but I need coffee otherwise I'm going to pass out."

Coraline is grinning down at Loren's daughter, Maisie, whispering soft 'hello's at her, completely distracted by the baby who seemed just as captivated. The baby giggles and reaches for Cora's fingers, kicking her legs excitedly under the pink blanket. "I could look after her tonight if you need some rest." Her eyes don't leave Maisie, who's tiny fingers wrap tightly around Coraline's pointer finger. Half of him wonders if she'd actually meant to offer her help or if the whispers had come out before she had chance to think them through. 

"You could?" Loren's face lights up with relief. 

"Of course!" Cora's eyes come to rest on Marcus. "Would you mind?" 

"Not at all." He shoots her a smile. They're meant to be seeing a movie. It's some horror film he's never heard of; he isn't a massive fan of horror but Coraline had wanted to see it — it had something to do with her and her father watching horror films together when she was younger, even if they were terrible and laughably cheesy — and had managed to persuade him the night before at the gala, when they were both a little too tipsy and he was trying his best to distract her as Scott's lips dragged over his new girlfriend's neck. He'd glanced up every now and then, just to see if she was watching them. Luckily, she never was. 

"Oh, you're a lifesaver." Loren exhales, like she's been underwater for months and her head has only just poked above the surface. "Both of you." She turns to Marcus and flashes him a bright but exhausted smile. 

"What are best friend's for?" Cora chuckles as Loren pulls away to order her drink. "Drop her off later."

"I'll be by at seven," she announces as she grabs her drink, backing the stroller out of the coffee shop with decidedly more grace than when she'd entered. Patrons part the way for her and she murmurs a 'sorry' at everyone she passes or accidentally whacks with her nappy bag. 

Coraline's eyes linger on the baby for a few moments longer as they leave; her expression flickers, softening, like she's considering something, like she's plagued by conflict. Coraline taps her fingers on the table, perfect pale pink nails rapping a steady beat against the wood. Eventually, her eyebrows furrow and she draws back into herself, like realisation has hit and she's snapped herself back to reality. 

"Are you sure you don't mind? You can find something else to do, you don't have to become a pro bono babysitter with me." She wants him to help her out. She really does. She tries not to let the hopeful glint reach her eyes.

But she feels especially bad because Marcus rarely has days off. It's a rare Sunday when he's in between cases and hasn’t been dragged in on a weekend. And she's dragging him along to look after a baby he's never even met before. 

He shakes his head. "Why would I mind?" He gets to spend time with her. He enjoys her company too much to turn her down.

She shrugs and takes another sip of her drink. He can tell by the way that she scowls that it's gone a little cold. He doesn't know how she drinks it, anyway. There's too much caramel — it was far too sweet — but she seemed to like it and he'd seen her tired self go through three in an hour before. "Changing diapers isn't exactly a thrilling pastime."

"I'm sure I'll live."

Coraline pushes herself to her feet. A breeze ruffles the skirt of her dress, billowing the pale yellow fabric against her knees like it had a mind of its own. She finishes off the last drops of her drink and sighs. "Well, then, we’re going to need some more coffee."

...

Coraline has been rushing around her apartment for most of the day. She isn't sure if she's nervous or if she just has too much caffeine buzzing through her veins. Perhaps it's both. She's not even aware of her surroundings, only that Marcus has been sitting on the couch trying to get her to relax for the past hour and she's fussed meticulously over every square inch of her apartment at least three times. She just needs to keep her hands busy. 

"Cora, she's a baby." He chuckles as Coraline scowls at the magazines on the coffee table. She bends down to straighten them, huffing out an inpatient breath as she does so. "She's not going to care what your apartment looks like."

She ignores him, turning swiftly on her heels to straighten out the woollen throw draping over her couch. "Relax," Marcus insists. He watches her with concern as she pauses, sucks in a shallow breath and turns to slump down against the opposite end of the couch. Her head falls back against the cushions. "What's wrong?"

"It's just-" She doesn't even know what she means to say. She doesn't really have an explanation for it — why she's frantically rushing around her apartment trying to keep her mind off Maisie and the babysitting job she'd found herself — so she doesn't bother offering one. Maybe it's because all she can think about is how much she'd wanted a baby when she was with Scott and how she has no idea what she wants anymore, now that he's gone and she's alone again. Everything's so confusing now; she can barely bring herself to think about it. It just doesn't make sense. Coraline tells Marcus a lot of things (he probably knows more about her than Loren does, and they'd been best friends since they were six) but some things just weren't for sharing. Maybe he already knows. She hopes he does, it would make things much easier, and then she doesn’t have to bite back pointless tears when she eventually tells him. 

Coraline lets out an overly-dramatic sigh and turns her head towards Marcus. He's still watching her, brown eyes softer now. He smiles and she shakes her head to clear away the thoughts. "I'm glad you're here, you know," she admits. Her eyes drag back up to the ceiling. 

"Of course you are. You'd never survive without me." He quips. 

"Oh, sure. How I ever managed to live twenty-eight years without you, I'll never know."

Marcus' eyes crease at the corner as he laughs a little at his joke. "I know you'll be good at this whole baby thing." She lulls her head to the side to watch him; she shuffles against her hip, resting her cheek against the dimpled green couch cushion and watches him as his dark eyes light up. In the time that she's known him, barely even six months, though it seems like far longer, she can only think of a handful of times when she'd seen him without a smile. Even then, most of those were after a long day of paperwork, and she could usually make him smile after a few minutes of prodding at him to tell her what's wrong. 

"I have work early tomorrow." Coraline points out. "This was a bad idea. I should be sleeping."

"Well, you did offer.”

"I know, and it was a terrible idea." She sighs. "Y’know, I think Maisie hates me."

"Maisie is a baby, Cora."

"Babies still have feelings, Marcus."

He chuckles. "She loves you, don't be ridiculous."

His words are punctuated by a knock on the door. It's almost frantic, like whoever's on the other side's intentions are urgent. Coraline groans a little as she stands up; she knows exactly who it is and she drags her feet towards the door, trying her best to push past her concern. She lowers her head to the door's peephole before yanking it open. She has a wide grin on her face when she greets Loren and Maisie. "Good evening." Her voice is lilting, soft and bright and cheerful, like Marcus is used to hearing. It makes him smile, the way she's gone from a worry that seemed to be spreading rapidly through her back to her bright self. He's never seen her so panicked, even around her ex; she's normally so laid back and relaxed. 

Coraline pulls the door open a little further before sweeping Maisie and her stroller inside. Loren murmurs that she's asleep and Cora starts to rock the stroller back and forth, trying her best to keep the baby asleep for as long as she can. It gave her time to regain her scattered composure. Marcus pushes himself up from the armchair he'd been reclined in and sweeps over to take Maisie from Coraline and away from the entryway. 

"Oh-" It startles her a little, when his hands reach out and fingers accidentally brush over her wrist. "Thank you." She smiles at him softly as he backs the stroller out into the living room. 

"Marcus is here?" Loren's eyes light up and a grin pulls at her lips when he falls out of earshot. Her eyebrows raise playfully. 

"Yes."

Her grin only widens. "Are you on a date?"

"No." Coraline scoffs. 

Loren doesn't seem to be giving up and she certainly doesn't believe her. She never does, not usually. She seems to have convinced herself that Cora and Marcus are in love or secretly dating, or both. "This is a date, isn't it?"

"It's not a date, Loren." Cora rolls her eyes but she can't help but smile. She tried to conceal it but she can't stifle the way her corners quirk upwards. It's most definitely not a date — that had ever even crossed her mind — and it's just hilarious how Loren seems to be convinced that her oldest friend is harbouring a secret affection for her best friend. She looks between them both with a glint in her blue eyes, like she knows something they don't and she's just waiting for them to figure it out. Except there’s nothing to figure out. They’re friends. Just friends.

"Whatever you say.” She giggles. Loren smiles back at Marcus, who's stood back by the couch, rocking the stroller back and forth. Coraline follows her gaze and smiles fondly at him; he's not paying attention to them and he doesn't notice the way they're both watching him. 

"We're just friends," Coraline insists again as she turns back to Loren. 

"Sure you are." She smirks. ”I promise I won’t say ‘I told you so’.”

"Just go." Coraline takes her best friend by the shoulders and guides her back out of the door but she can't help the smile that spills onto her lips again. 

"Can I be your maid of honour?"

"Go home and sleep!" 

"Please!"

"I'm shutting the door now, goodbye."

"There are diapers in the bag and she's already been fed," Loren adds hastily as Coraline inched the door shut. "I'll be back in a few hours."

...

Maisie slept for a little while, but now she's wide awake, giggling and trying her best to grab Coraline's curls. The baby sits on Cora's lap, small fingers reaching out towards her insistently. She'd offer her one of the toys Loren had left for her but she only seems interested in them for a few seconds before Coraline's hair tumbles over her shoulder and she grows distracted again. 

She's torn between tying her hair up or just letting Maisie tug on it to her heart's content. But she doesn't; she just lightly whispers no with a shake of her head, a smile and a shake of whatever toy she reaches for first. And it's a never-ending cycle until finally, Maisie decides that hair isn't for her and she prefers the blue teething ring that Coraline reaches for last.

"You really are great with her,” Marcus comments. 

She chuckles, a breathy laugh through her nose. "I'm great with everyone." She pokes her tongue at the corner of her lip and grins. He notices, when she does that, says something about herself being great or that she's good at something, her cheeks flush pink a little. She only means it as a joke, he knows that, but it's almost like it embarrasses her to say or think anything like that. Her eyes betray the way she struggles with it. 

"I have nephews." She shrugs. "I was a great babysitter back in the day."

Maisie makes a gleeful noise, halfway between a squeal and a laugh, and drops the teething ring to the sofa, disinterested. She makes a grab for Coraline's hair again, reaching forward to try and swipe it between her fingers. But Cora's own fingers block her clutches. "No," she whispers quietly with a smile and a chuckle. She pushes her small hand away gently but Maisie delights in it, face illuminating in a grin, and reaches out for Coraline’s curls insistently. 

Marcus reaches down to pick up the toy as Coraline laughs, too distracted to even bother. His arm brushes hers as he does so. She's always struck by how warm he is. The first time she'd noticed it, the day they'd first met, she thought it was because of the sun streaming in through the briefing room’s glass windows. But she’d noticed it every single time he’d touched her since — even just the slightest touch or brush of a hand — until she thinks she’s used to it. She isn’t. His touch warms whatever bare skin it touches immediately and she shudders; Marcus doesn't seem to notice and she's glad because she doesn't want to explain that one fleeting touch from him warms up her entire, otherwise freezing, body.

It's a cliche, she knows that. The kind of cliche you read about in cheesy romance novels. It makes her cheeks burn — Coraline knows she's going bright red; she can feel it crawling slowly over her skin and she shivers like there's a cold breeze dancing it's way up the back of her neck — because she doesn't know what it means. She's never really felt it before she met him, this odd, confusing burn that started in her chest, then blooms out like flowers through her whole body. She usually just brushes it off because it happens whenever and wherever, without warning It just arrives out of the blue, triggered by a glance or a laugh or the briefest touch of a hand. It's ridiculous but she can't help but turn it over and over and over in her mind at night, when she tries to sleep, until she's restless and staring at the wooden beams that stretch across her bedroom ceiling. 

"Do you want kids?" Coraline asks. It’s out of the blue. Her expression almost makes it seem like she wants him to ask her the question, like she's desperate to talk about it with someone, anyone, before it bursts from her chest. Although, he can't help but wonder if she never meant to ask, or if she regrets asking, given the way her eyes fall back to Maisie who's resumed her chewing on the teething ring again. Though, Coraline barely realises she's given anything away. Then again, she doesn't even realise that there is anything to give away. She's so enchanted by the baby and the brush of Marcus' arm against hers that she's giving away maybe a little more than she intends. It's strange to see her like this given her flustered panic of just an hour earlier. 

Marcus takes a moment, a pause to figure out the right answer, then he nods a little. "I would, yes. Some day." He pauses for another second, watching the way her eyes glimmer as she looks at her goddaughter. He already knows her answer before he even asks the question. Or, at least, the real answer. "Do you?"

Coraline's eyes light up; her blue eyes look like the sky on a sunny day. "Maybe," she hums. When she looks up to meet his eyes, the small smile she gives betrays the truth. But she cuts it off like it's wrong or forbidden or downright ridiculous, like she shouldn't feel those things. He notices the way her lips falter like she's biting back the urge to say something, a secret on the tip of her tongue, and how she tugs her lower lip in between her teeth to stop her from smiling again. 

He thinks he knows what makes her so unsure about that. Why she cuts herself off and seems to tell herself it's wrong. She's mentioned it once before, when she was tired — she talks a lot when she's tired, but it's mostly incoherent mumblings that he has to admit, he finds adorable — that Scott didn't want kids. Marcus has never brought up what she’d told him (if she really wants him to know, she'd have told him by now, when she's completely coherent and conscious) but it tugs at the edge of his thoughts as her sentences go quiet when she sees a mother and their baby. They make her smile fondly. It's a smile that's been all-too-lacking since her divorce. 

He understands. It’s happened to him before, twice now. Twice he’s faced heartbreak, that horrible moment when things go sour. When you’re left with a million little ‘what ifs’, wondering where exactly things went so wrong. Wondering if there was anything you could have done, anything at all, to make things better. It’s a dull ache that sits deep in his chest. And it’s agonising. He hates how familiar the feeling has become. 

Marcus has never told her about his past relationships - about his first marriage and eventual divorce, about his last engagement and how it had ended almost as quickly as it had begun, how he’d found himself alone in D.C. without a soul in the world to talk to - and he also hasn’t told her that meeting her was like a fresh start, like the sun had finally peaked through the rain clouds that had hung over his head for so long. She’d helped him settle, finally, even after six months struggling to feel at home in a new, lonely city. She’d welcomed him, helped him find new friends, and stuck by him the entire time. She doesn’t have to be his friend; he’s sure she has much cooler, younger friends that don’t spend most of their days hunched over an ever-growing mountain of paperwork or hidden away inside some tiny downtown art gallery. Sure, he’d be upset if their weekly meetings came to a halt, but he wouldn’t blame her if she chose someone more like herself over him.

Mostly, Marcus just hadn't wanted to dredge up old feelings, not when she was in the thick of a divorce and clearly struggling, no matter how much she pretended she was okay. So he never told her what had happened. When she'd confided in him for the first time those few short months ago, spilling her deepest secrets, staying up until 3am just pouring her heart out to him over the phone, he'd wondered if it was best to tell her. To let her know that he knew how she felt, that he understood. But he still hasn't. She’s asked about his past before, nagging until he relented and revealed things he's never really had much trouble revealing before, and he has told her parts of it. But he usually skirts around the details, like there's nothing important to reveal. He isn't sure why he does it, especially when she opens up to him so easily. He guesses that the moment has never seemed right. 

Maisie's hand is twisted into the fabric of Coraline's dress. She shakes the teething ring in her hands like it's a rattle. "I've never had the chance," she admits, suddenly. "To have kids."

"You've still got time."

"Barely." She sighs. He raises an eyebrow, like he's asking her what she means, but she doesn't continue. She waves a hand and brushes off his concern. "It's not important," she insists. 

But it is important. He knows it is. And, if it matters to her, it matters to him.

[shibalen]

Hiii congrats on 50 followers !! hope it continues to increase 💞💕💖💓 could I please participate in your event with (free!) ? Preferably with a male pls. My pronouns are she/her. I am 5’4, an ambivert and a Latina. My enneagram is type 4. I have pale skin, mid-length brown wavy hair with bangs, and hazel eyes. I am described as someone who comes off as cold or aloof when I’m around people I don’t know. After getting to know me, I am the complete opposite. I’m just a bit shy at first lol. My friends have told me that I give good advice but like to joke about my stubbornness. I like to make people laugh and try to make the best of any situation. However I have a hard time expressing my emotions. I’m also described as easy going and fun to be around. I also really love animals.

I am a hip hop dancer and love to perform. Dance to me is very freeing and I'm usually dancing anywhere anytime haha. I choreograph a lot as well. I also enjoy reading could vary from manga to non-fiction. I love music especially hip hop, rap, & reggaeton. I also love to write music/poetry. I never show anybody though since I’m really shy about it. I'd love to one day tho! I can be playful and love to tease my friends. I also really like to eat and travel. I am a bit of a homebody but I enjoy hiking because of the exercise. I really enjoy having deep conversations. I can’t stand people who bully others and people who are fake. I like to be honest and helpful in any way I can. My style is usually anything comfy/casual and I don’t really like wearing skirts or dresses. I speak English and Spanish (learning Japanese & Portuguese). I would love to learn ASL and Hawaiian one day as well. I enjoy watching crime investigations, probably one of my favorite things to watch.

I don’t really any fears, just not being able to accomplish my goals/dreams. I tend to daydream a lot and I’m also a big procrastinator 😭. I'm usually overthinking a lot which tires me a bit. Alone time for me is definitely important. I would say my love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. I usually prefer introverts and someone I can eventually open up to and is patient since I’ve never had that growing up. I’m usually really cold towards the person I like lol. Only because I test the waters to see if I should spend time and energy on them. I tend to be a bit jealous/possessive, not in an unhealthy way though. Just wouldn’t match with someone who is very flirty with other people lol. I'm also a bit touch starved lol. I believe you mentioned to add a trope, my favorite is enemies to lovers. Thank you so much 💖💗💕

☆ event matchup for @madeofsaltiness

free: i match you with . . .

souske yamazaki !!

you sighed and placed the old record back into the shelf you had taken it from. you were bored. it had been fifteen minutes, and Souske hadn't said a word to you since you'd entered the music store. "this date is boring."

"this isn't a date," Souske said without looking up from the two albums he was comparing. "i said i was going to the store."

"then why did you invite me?"

finally he looked over his shoulder at you but with his eyebrows furrowed. "i didn't. i specifically said 'don't come with me' then you said 'you know what Souske? i'll do whatever i want'" he went back to looking at his albums.

you huffed at his cold response. fine, it was true that you had said that but you just wanted to spend some time with him since he seemed to be so busy lately. now he even wanted to go to the music shop without you? that was basically an invitation. you'd always gone there together.

"well, you could at least talk to me."

"what do you want to talk about?"

"like . . ." you eyed around the hall, searching for a subject until your gaze landed on something that made your eye light up. "like that." Souske followed your finger. hung up on the wall was a poster of one of your favourite hip hop artists and you smiled. "did you know that guy doesn't only write his own songs but also makes the choreography for the dances?"

"or this album over here," you went on, picking up the item and showing it to Souske whose eyes quickly fixated on it. "this is one of the most successful reggaeton albums in history. why is it placed here among the others? it deserves a shelf for its own."

all of the sudden you'd spotted so many interesting new pieces of music that you couldn't help but talk about each one. Souske's eyes stayed on you the entire time, a cool mix of love and amusement.

by the time he'd convinced you it was time to go it was already turning dark. you were a little disappointed you couldn't buy everything you wanted to and stalked out of the shop quietly. a few steps away from the door, Souske stopped you.

"(y/n)" he said and you turned to him.

"here." he held out a soft orange reggaeton album. it was the one you had told him about in the beginning. awkwardly, Souske rubbed his neck with his free hand. "i planned to go by myself because i wanted this to be a surprise but since we ended up going together i guess it's not much—"

"no, it's great!" you quickly intersected and took the gift into your hands. so he'd just wanted to give you surprise present. placing it into your bag with the rest of your purchases, you pulled him into a tight hug. "i love it. thank you, Sou!

a small, warm smile crep up Souske's lips. he rested his large hand atop of your hair and gave it an affectionate ruffle. this day had turned out to be better than he'd imagined. "no, thanks for coming with me."

hi hi! thank you much for the kind wishes~ honestly, i was stuck between Souske and Rin but eventually figured Sou's patience would work well with you! i hope you like this and have a nice day ♡︎

[fullyellowsun]

Subtle | 7

Choreography:

I do not own the picture, credit to the owner. AHHHH, both Baekhyun's will kill me!!!!! The duality of Byun Baekhyun...

This is my first series so please cut me some slack but also I welcome constructive criticisms! This is in Korean so for those of you who can read Korean and English, go ahead! I will post a full English version link to the Wattpad story in the masterlist!

Pairing: baekhyun x reader

Genre: kpop group collaboration!AU

Word Count: 1653 words

Description: After a long day of dancing, the others start to question the title of Baekhyun and Dayeon's relationship...

Disclaimer: I have no idea how any of this works. I’m just going off of the little info I DO know so please bear with me as I try to fill the chapters with what I think (or what I just make up) on how to make an album and the other kpop things.

Masterlist

"Please be with me~~~ this Christ-mas."

"1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and...  oh, 다연아 잘하네!" Choreographer hyung says. He was right. Although Dayeon wasn't the main dancer, she still danced like a queen. (A/N Periodt😂) Her body moved gracefully and her vibe matched perfectly with the dance moves with a sexy and cute vibe.

"감사함니다 선배님." She says as she continues to move with grace. She was always so clumsy and innocent in real life but the stage really brought her into a different life. She didn't even realize that everyone stopped to watch her until she finished and everyone clapped for her.

"How come nobody claps like that for me when I dance?" Yoona asks.

"It's because she's actually good! She can sing, she can dance, what can she not do?" Kai said. He obviously still likes Dayeon but I feel kind of bad for Yoona since everyone can tell she likes Kai. She always wants his attention but he ignores her and has both eyes on Dayeon.

"I can't rap..." Dayeon says out of breath.

"Come on 다연아, we all know you can. I mean when Sunny was sick in that performance and you had to do her rap, everyone, including 리수만 선생님, said you were amazing." Suah says.

"맞아... you could be the main rapper if you really put your mind to it." Sunny says.

"See? What can she not do?" Kai says still clapping for her. I felt kind of mad when he clapped for her and she blushed. Does Dayeon like Kai? 아니야... 설마... no it's fine if she likes him... but it's not. I think I might like Dayeon. I mentally slap myself. 정신차려! We are in a fake 'marriage' thing with a contract, you got this far, you can't make it awkward now. Just push it down. Even if I wanted to date her, she wouldn't possibly like me back. Her perfection is better for someone perfect or someone who actually needs the love.

"현아? What are you thinking about?" I get waken up by Dayeon's nickname for me.

"Huh? What?" I say.

"What were you thinking so deeply about? We're about to practice one more time." I get up and get in my position. The dance was made so that we dance in our 'couples' but also in our own groups. Kai, Sehun, and Yoona did well. After practicing for a while, I want to go home but I can't take off my pants so just lay on the floor in the way of everyone. Dayeon joins me. "I'm tireddd..." she groans.

"나도!" I say loudly.

"What were you thinking about so deeply before?" She says.

"Huh? Oh... um." I can't tell her. It would be awkward, she won't even reciprocate the feelings. So I made something up.

"Umm... new... laundry detergent! (A/N I'm watching True Beauty and so if you know the reference, yay! If not, go watch it, it's good.)"

"Huh? Why do you need to think so deeply about laundry detergent?" She says slightly tilting her head. She does that when she's confused and it's genuinely the cutest thing ever.

"Uhh well... my nose is sensitive so I was wondering which scent I should get."

"Just choose your favorite one. Why is it so hard? Wait, but our dorm doesn't even have a washing machine." Oops. I forgot. The managers forgot to get a dorm with washing machines so we dry clean everything or go to a laundromat.

"Oh, did I say laundry detergent? I meant cologne." I scratch the back of my head and laugh nervously.

"Oh, makes sense." She says and doesn't pay attention to me anymore. "CAN WE GO HOME PLEASSSEEEE." She yells loudly still on the floor.

"YESSSSS.... PLLLLEEEAAASSSEEEEEEEE." The members pay no attention to our pleas and continue to practice.

"You know, people are not always as perfect as you. We actually need to practice." Suah says.

"We do too but isn't this a bit much? I mean it's already 12! Let's go home and sleeeeppppp..." She says and rolls ariund in exasperation. Because the others wouldn't listen to us, I decided, they can do what the want but I'm sleeping.

"다연아, 나랑 집에 같이 갈래?" I turn to Dayeon and ask.

"Yes please. Everyone, 우리는 먼저 갈게." Dayeon stands up and announces.

"You two in the dorm by yourselves? Just because we aren't there doesn't mean you could do whatever you want, keep it PG please, I do NOT want to walk into something gross." Sehun says.

"야! Worry about yourself! Bye!" We leave and jam out to music in the car on our way to the dorm. We get home and I immediately shower. Dayeon started making dinner and because she was like the only one who cooks, she knew where everything was and that kitchen was like a kitchen in her own house. I come out of the shower and Dayeon was still cooking. "Shouldn't you shower?"

"Oh yeah, Hyun-ah, can you take over?" She hands me the apron she was wearing and a spatula. She was frying kimchi and tofu. "I'm gonna shower so just make sure it doesn't burn."

"Okay, I got it, go shower."

"Thanks." She goes inside and I hear the water running. I started thinking about the nickname Dayeon gave me... Hyun-ah. It sounds like a girl's name but I don't care... it's a special name that no one else has- *beep beep* *beep beep* is that the fire alarm? "Hyun-ah... is that the fire alarm?" I hear Dayeon shout from the shower. I had one job... and I failed. ONE JOB! I frantically open the windows and turn off the heat. Dayeon rushes out the room with her clothes inside out and backwards and her hair dripping wet. "Ahh, you burned it. Didn't I tell you not to do that? Are you still thinking about your cologne? If it's that hard, let's just get one now." She throws away the tofu from the pan, washes it quickly and grabs her keys to go to the mall.

"Wait, isn't it closed? And maybe change and dry your hair at least?"

"Oh... yeah, online shopping it is." She grabs her laptop and gives it to me. "Choose something, look for something you like. I'm gonna REmake the food you burned."

"Sorry... I got distracted."

"With what?!" Umm... I can't say her nickname for me... what do I say?

"Uhhh, my cologne scent?" She shakes her head and chuckles.

"You are so weird." She puts on her apron and starts frying again. She finishes and leaves the food on the table to join me. "Did you find one yet? What? Why are you still on the Google page? Were you not looking at them?"

"It's uhh... it's too hard to choose scents from a screen."

"At least look!" She leans over me to look for a website. She just searched in "cologne scents that men like". I laugh. She looked at articles and asked me about each scent on the list.

"Okay, I'll buy it myself, you don't need to choose one for me!" She turns to me. Her face was really close to me face.

"I said PG!" Sehun says. She turns around.

"PG? Why is this not PG? I was helping him choose a cologne scent."

"Were you guys not like, making out?"

"No, what makes you think that?"

"I don't know, it just looked like it."

"Okay? I make fried kimchi and tofu. It's on the dining room table so if you're hungry, you can eat it."

"Oh, yay, thanks 언니!" Suah runs over to the table. Dayeon turns to me.

"If you don't want my help, sure, do it yourself but later." She walks away to the table to join the others. What just happened?! I join them too. I sit next to Chanyeol.

"Are you sure you guys aren't a thing or something?" He whispers to me.

"No! We're just close."

"This fast? You have known each other for like 2 weeks and you're already this close?"

"Isn't it the same with you and Sunny?"

"Yeah but we're not THAT close."

"What do you mean?"

"You guys watched a movie on your own, you go home together by yourselves, you have matching clothes and you hug each other in your sleep." Chanyeol lists off.

"Well that's because I didn't want to watch horror and we were tired so we went home. Our matching clothes is because it's cute or by accident and you already know that I hug my pillow in my sleep, it's just convenient that she's there in the pillow's place." I said almost screaming. I realized that I was screaming and everyone was staring at me. Chanyeol laughs at me.

"What are you talking about?" Suho asks.

"Uhhh... nothin-" I start.

"Why he's so close to Dayeon." Chanyeol says trying not to laugh. I give him a death glare.

"Wait I'm confused, how close are we?" Dayeon asks.

"Too close to be just friends." Chanyeol says.

"Why are we too close to be friends?"

"Well, you watched your own movie instead of watching with us." Sehun chimes in.

"You went home by yourselves together." Chen says.

"We were tired okay?!" Baekhyun says.

"You hug each other in your sleep!" Sehun says. Dayeon puts her fingers to her lips and mouths 'that was a secret'.

"You do?!" Xiumin asks.

"Maybe..." Dayeon says sheepishly.

"What is happening? Do we have another couple?" Suho asks.

"No! It's just because we're close. Is that not allowed?" Dayeon asks.

"Well no, it's not NOT allowed but you know, you guys are a little too close to the point where people would assume those actions as things couples would do." Suah says.

Masterlist

[saturnmyg]

GANGSTA CHAPTER ONE

Min yoongi x Mafia!reader

warnings :  violence, drug abuse, cussing

Genre: angst, fluff, romance, drama

word count: 2,992

summary: Min yoongi aka Agust D an underground rapper on the come up , finds y/n outside of a club hurt and on the verge on passing out, little did he know saving her would turn his world upside down

AN: hey guys sorry for the late update, things have been hectic lately. anyways this isn't proof read yet but it shouldn't be all too bad.-sora

Another Author note & update: i changed the whole pov back to third one cause i felt that it would suit the story the most so hope yall dont mind

@josh-the-smol-bean-dun as always ill tag you in this!

character profile

Intro 

Chapter one 

Yoongi took out a cigaret and lit it up. he sighed ,lately he hasn't been feeling his performances. he knew they were good but not that good, there was something missing and he couldn't pin point  it. He lost his inspiration, everything seemed almost mundane, sure he could rap about money, sex and drugs but which artist didn't rap about that. He wanted that his song inspire the listener, that it resonates with them on a deeper level .

He thought about writing love songs but every time he tried to he kept remembering his ex who was the personification of the devil and what she did to him and he'd rather not think about that. ‘’Business again?’’ He heard the security guard asking someone . ‘’As usual’’ came a monotone voice that belong to a girl.

The Security guard moved aside and open the door ,he then saw as they passed by him that it was two people. First a tall black beauty with a beanie followed by a girl of medium height with a low pony tail. As she walked she turned her head and their eyes met. Her stare was piercing, as if she could see into his soul , however they held no emotion it it.

He smirked at her and blew out the smoke. In response to that the nameless girl lifted up one eyebrow, as if to ask him if he seriously thought that would get her to come to him. And then rolled her eyes.  Before he could even say or do something, the girl and her friend already disappeared inside while the door closed behind her.

The Club was packed, hot bodies grinding at each other , drunk people laughing, some even trying to start a fight. Y/n crinkled her nose, the alcohol stench mixed with sweat was definitively not on her list of favorite things. Rukiya who was standing in front of her turned around, took her hand and and started to walk where Akiho was standing, which was hard as they had to squeeze themselfs between people to get to their destination.  

As they arrived there Y/n sat down on the bar stools while Rukiya decided to stand. ‘’Four Tequila orange shots please’’ The tall beauty screamed over the music to the blonde girl . She nodded and immediately started to pour out the shots.  

‘’They're supposed to be here at 9.30pm-’’ Akiho said as she lined up the beverages. Meanwhile Rukiya leaned closer to her so that she could understand the short girl ‘’Apparently something happened with the boss and they had to delay it a bit.’’

 Rukiya raised her eyebrows ‘’Well i don't care if they got stabbed or anything, it will make this night better if they're not at a good condition’’ she said and handed Y/n ,who was scanning the club looking for any signs of Gang member from other groups , the glass.

‘’Anyone catching your eye?’’ came Rukiyas voice right next to her ear. ‘’Nah i wasn't even looking for that.’’ She replied and rolled her eyes . ‘’C'mon boss let loose we're at a club!’’ The dark skinned girl exclaimed , Y/n looked at her, the strobing lights accentuating her features making her look otherworldly, yet slightly bizarre, and sighed. ‘’Aight lets get this party started’’ Rukiya cheered and held up the shot

‘’To hoping this meeting will not turn into a blood bath’’ She said and clinked the shot glass together. ‘’Damn did you need to ruin this moment with that negative shit? ain't no one wanna think about 'em right now’’ Rukiya grimaced.

‘’Aight hoe, to us and the gang may we stay together for a long time’’ She retorted and Rukiya grinned. They both threw back the shots and bit into the orange slice that the Akiho had provided earlier. The shot burned in Y/n’s throat which led up to her scrunching up her face while Rukiya threw her head back and laughed.

‘’I'm going to look for this guy i saw that has black hair and crazy ass dance moves’’ The tall girl shouted over the music and disappeared in the crow, Y/n nodded and waved with one hand and pulled out her phone.

Y/n: Status report

Hyun-jin: hacked into their security camera and from what I've seen and heard he's going to keep his word, i wouldn't go 100% on that though, something in my gut is saying that they're going to ambush you guys, be careful.

Y/n: Alright good, ill contact you later.

Hyun-jin: K                                                

Suddenly the music went off, while all the light was focused on the stage that was in the front of the club.

‘’Hey Hey Hey! i see you guys having a great time but the rap battle is about to begin, as ya'll already know all types of rappers are here tonight some that are even famous so you know its going down in this bitch.’’ Said the Mc ,a bald guy who was wearing a white tank top that showed off the tattoos on his chest and arms. He continued to introduce some guy that you have never heard of.

The crowd responded by giving semi- cheering as the Artist came up to the stage.

Loud bass filled the club and he started to rap, it was okay thought Y/n but judging from how the crowd was responding she clearly weren't the only one with that opinion. ‘’Not bad not bad!’’ said the Mc after the nameless rapper finished.

‘’Not bad ? that shit was whack’’ came Akiho's voice who was still behind the counter. ‘’Even Hyun-jin could spit better than that and what the hell was going on with his hairline?-’’ She continued as Y/n nodded and proceeded to take a sip of the drink that Akiho had provided earlier. ‘’It's so far back it probably  shook hands with Jesus’’ Y/n snorted almost spitting out the drink, turned around and playfully glared at the blonde girl. ‘’you tryna kill me?’’

‘’oh hush you would've been dead by now if i wanted to’’ she waved her off, which was a bold faced lie and they both knew that. ‘’Where's Rukiya though? they will be here in five minutes and her ass still ain't here yet’’ Y/n coughed. ‘’Right here beside you, its time you grow eyes on the side of your head’’

She heard the velvety voice that belonged to the tall beauty. Y/n turned around and there she was, standing in all her glory while next to her was a black haired boy.  She looked at him, then back to Rukiya and raised an eyebrow. ‘’This is the dude i was telling you, you know the one with the dance moves’’. ‘’Ah yes i remember’’ She answered and took another sip  

‘’I'm Jung Hoseok nice to meet you guys’’ He said and smiled brightly. He was cute Y/n would give him that, but she had a feeling there was more to the sunny demeanor that he'd let other's see. They all exchanged pleasantries until Akiho nudgedY/n showing her the time.

Her eyes widened and she turned around ‘’anyways Hoseok right? nice meeting ya but its time for us to disappear’’ Y/n said. His face fell and he nodded ‘’Don't worry lover boy give her your number and shell text you all day, literally.’’ She deadpanned while Rukiya shrugged her shoulder. ‘’cant blame me i love texting’’ ‘’more like sexting but thats for another topic’’. He laughed at the banter between the two girls and pushed his hair out of his face.

‘’I cant be with you guys i'm the only one on this shift tonight’’ Akiho sighed while shaking the cocktail mixer. Y/n waved her off ‘’Nah no problem we can handle this tonight but i'll have you on speed dial if something is’’ ‘’Alright see you and be safe’’ Akiho replied pouring the drink into the glass.

‘’Will do, c'mon Rukiya lets go’’ She threw over her shoulder.  The tall girl typed her number into his phone and then whispered something into Hoseok's ear ,which he replied with nodding and then continued to kiss him on the cheek leaving him flustered with a slight smirk on his face.

Y/n  laughed ‘’You totally have him hooked’’ ‘’I hope so , he's so fine bro like i touched his stomach and  holy fuck was it hard he probably got abs . It's like god came down and took his sweet time sculpting him’’ Rukiya sighed dreamily ‘’I wanted to propose on spot bitch he got it all , personality, body etc,  no joke i would no fuck that, i  WILL spread my legs like peanut butter for him’’the shorter girl grinned at that ‘’spreading them cheeks from Georgia to Florida huh’’ ‘’aside from the fact that we're in South Korea and not America , yes’’ Rukiya smirked.  During the whole talk they walked to the back side of the Club where an hallway was that led to the Rooms that one could rent.

‘’Alright they're supposed to be behind this door, Hyun-jin hacked into the security camera's here so she'll watch us from time to time’’ whispered Y/n ‘’I swear if we get killed tonight I'm coming back to haunt her sorry ass’’ Rukiya mumbled and secured the halter on her left thigh. ‘’Seconded'' she replied and took a deep breath and opened the door.

Another successful performance for Yoongi, the crowd loved him and he was pretty sure that he'd win the rap battle tonight. He took the towel and the bottle of water that the staff member handed him and wiped his face. ‘’Yo yo yo suga my man you really tore it down tonight’’ said Jihoo, the mc from earlier, and wrapped an arm around yoongi. ‘’It was given’’ came his reply a faint smile on his lips.

‘’True man true’’ the guy laughed and messed up the rappers hair. ‘’How long are you going to stay bald tho you already look like a yakuza with them dragon and snake tattoos’’ Yoongi asked. Jihoo wiggled his eyebrows ‘’you don't know that i used to be in a gang?’’ Yoongi deadpanned, he's known Jihoo for almost ten years now and from what he'd experienced and seen from him he wouldn't survive one day with the mafia. '

‘’Remember how you called me at three o'clock in the morning cause of that spider in your bathroom?’’ ‘’That spider was huge Yoongi do you hear me? h u g e’’  The mint haired boy sighed and peeled off Jihoo's arm that was still around his shoulder ‘’Stop being so dramatic it wasn't you're just a wuss’’ ‘’Im not’’ came back as ‘’whatever you say’’ said Yoongi and waved as he made his way out from backstage.

He walked over to the bar and sat down. He first looked at her face and then the name tag. ‘’Akiho? give me whiskey on the rocks’’ ‘’Coming right up’’ she replied and went right to work. A few minutes later she put down the drink in front of  him ‘’here you go’’ ‘’Thanks’’ he replied and took a sip. The liquor burned his throat giving him pleasantly warm feeling. ‘’He sighed  ‘’having a rough day?’’ she asked her expression indifferent ‘’More like a rough year’’ she hummed at that ‘’aren't we all?’’  ‘’I guess so’’ he answered and shrug his shoulders. ‘’Well at least you're not suffering alone’’ she said and continued to dry the glasses.

Yoongi threw back the remaining's of the drink, put 20 bucks on the bar-table and hopped off the stool ‘’Keep the change’’ he said over his shoulder, not waiting for her reply as he made his way outside. He opened the door that led to the backside of the club where no one was. He wasn't really in the mood to be with someone. The loud music mixed with the stench of the club gave him a slight headache. He took out a cigarette lit it and inhaled deeply and stared at the night sky.

A groan ripped him out of his thoughts , he looked around and didn't find anyone. ‘’did i just imagine that’’ he thought weary . Only a few seconds later he heard the same noise again but this time he could distinguish from where it came from. He put his hand on the wall and walked slowly to where the garbage was and saw a person or thats what he thought it was, leaning against the trash bags. The lamps on the wall weren't working making it hard for him to distinguish who or what was there

‘’Fucking hell where's my phone’’ He muttered and checked his leather jacket. A few seconds later he found it and turned on the flashlight app. He was surprised, the object turned out to be the girl he saw earlier on the front side of the club. Bruises tattered her face , neck and he presumed they were everywhere. ‘’Fuck what i'm i supposed to do now.’’ He muttered and ran his hand through his hair. As he picked her up he noticed that on one side the fabric of her sweater was wet and kinda sticky. He lifted it up and saw an open wound.

Fuck fuck fuck he panicked , let down the material and put her arms around his neck and hold her legs so he could give her a piggy back ride to his car. Once he arrived at the parking lot, forgetting about the winner announcement , he put her into the passengers seat and put the seatbelt on. Now that the car light was on he could look at her  properly.  She had sharp features that at the same time seemed soft. Long eyelashes and plump lips. She was beautiful but to put it short she looked like a hot mess.

Moving slightly she groaned out in pain. He panicked he didn't know if he should bring her to the hospital or to his apartment and stitch/bandage her himself up. The wound didn't look that deep so it couldn't be that bad right? Yoongi started up the car and drove home. 

He put on relaxing music and hummed slightly to calm himself down. Where had she come from? why was she beaten up to the point of unconsciousness, where was her friend that she came with? All these questions ran through his head but there were no definite answers, yet.

He finally arrived home , this time carrying her bridal style up the stair which was a bad decision as he now couldn't reach for his keys in jacket. He sighed, put her down and quickly opened the door to his apartment. Putting her on his couch and went straight to the kitchen, took  out the first aid kit and returned. ‘’She better don't kill me for this’’ he thought and started to pull off her sweater leaving  the nameless girl in her bra. He took out the antibacterial liquid and cotton and started to clean her wound.

From time to time she would move and groan and swat as his hand away when the pain got too much. After some time cleaning it he took out a cream and bandages and carefully bandaged her up, He decided not to stitch the girl up since he had no experience in it or whatsoever.

 Fifteen minutes later he was finished, stood up and sighed. Yoongi picked her up again and walked into his room and put her on his bed. Taking a shirt, he contemplated if he should give her a pair of sweatpants but he thought that he'd be pushing it so he decided not to.

He pulled the fresh shirt over her head, covered her with the blanket and went to the kitchen to get glass of water. He returned , placed it on the nightstand and also left some painkillers beside it. The mint haired boy took out another blanket and his pajamas and walked back into the living room. He quickly changed into the comfortable clothes, brushed his teeth and washed his face and laid down on the couch. It wasn't even five minutes before he was knocked out.

Y/n opened her eyes. Well she tried to but couldn't as one eye was swollen. The pounding coming straight back as the light hit her full force. Groaning she lifted her head and saw that on the nightstand water and a pill  she assumed to be painkillers. She reached over took the water and drowned the pill quickly. Thats when she noticed that she was in a unfamiliar room. The walls were painted white, littered with decorations , pictures and papers. Next to her was a huge kumamon plush bear ‘’ Where the hell am i’ She asked herf and jumped out of bed.

‘’Bad decision’’Y/n  muttered as she had almost collapsed from the pain on her ribcage ‘’fuck what did that fucker yesterday do’’ She continued and slowly walked down the hallway into the living room. She looked around, the living room was decorated similarly to his bedroom, just that there was also was a couch, tv and a dinning table. Speaking of couch thats where she saw the mop of unruly mint hair that belonged to the boy from yesterday night. The rest of his body was hidden underneath the blanket. It was a miracle that he hasn't choked to death yet from not breathing fresh air.

Y/n slowly walked over and shook him. With no avail ‘’wake up’’ She shook him again. He grunted and turned the other way. She sighed deeply still clutching her side and tried to rip of the blanket as best as you could with one hand. ‘’Dude wake the fuck up’’ She said , still not answer it was like he was dead.

 Finally after a decade she ripped the blanket of and shook him hard it wouldn't surprise her if he got a concussion from it . ‘’The hell?!’’ he grunted and quickly sat up and looking around.  Y/n lifted her eyebrow when his eyes landed and her

‘’Where the fuck am i and what the hell am i doing in your home?’’

hey hope you like this part!!, again id love to hear your criticism and opinions on this chapter!