#trying very hard to hold a certain image with people so it just hurts the more when it all falls apart

[dandunn]

Who's Ammi I don't think I know them

Ammi is ADMITTEDLY not a character I've talked about much, but he's the world's WORST conartist (in that he wants to be a master con artist but he's not very good at it)

he's pretending to be a private investigator to profit off the death of a rich CEO's daughter :> he has no friends except Magdalena and he may or may not be a closeted dragon. allegedly.

alleged...

[statementlou]

i feel like i can talk to you about this because you have rational opinions. so louis bought a starbucks coffee at the airport and the fandom on twitter are eating him alive, calling him evil and wishing he goes to hell. i’m disappointed since starbucks is on the list of brands to boycott but i feel like this reaction is too much? someone even said jay would be disappointed in him, but people said that was taking it too far. i don’t know, i love louis and i’ll keep supporting him and his music but the fact he can be a careless millionaire is disappointing

1. thank you sweetie I would boop if I could 2. oh my god it's a fucking cup of coffee and if people think that's the worst thing Louis, a multi millionaire, has ever done financially they need a reality check! His money will be handled by bankers who are putting it into all kinds of evil fucking shit that he won't even know about, it's actually very hard to know or control that and there is no way trying is even on his radar. That's a passive thing and not on purpose; but the fact that people don't bother to know about that or care really speaks to how performative this kind of online approach to activism is, that they only care about image rather than effect (the effect of his investments would be easily thousands of times more than any number of coffees or even of the promotion Starbucks might get from him holding it.) But furthermore buckle in cause you hit a nerve: Starbucks isn't even an actual organized boycott target as concerns Palestine because THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ISRAELI GOVERNMENT financially! The official BDS movement calls for boycott of very specific and pointed targets of which Starbucks IS NOT ONE it's literally just an online trend which is not the same as an actual boycott to materially impact a target! Losing them money is always great, they are a crappy union busting small business killing corporation, but it has zero direct effect to help Palestinians unlike supporting the meaningful boycotts called for by BDS. I don't think Louis has decided to buy starbucks because he has this analysis, but to me it's a pretty important point. Him crossing an actual picket line (playing Israel, playing Eurovision [lmaoooo that thought tho], waving an Israeli flag god forbid) would be a very different situation and something that would trouble me so the distinction matters to me. But I get that to people on twitter, that's what they feel like he has done. To which I would say...

There are so many fewer ways to help Palestine than we would wish, and it's SO hard to deal with feeling so powerless right now in the face of such horror, so I love that people feel so strongly about doing whatever they possibly can. But worrying about consumer spending, even on BDS targets, is perhaps the least effective of the things a person can do. Note that BDS boycotts do not mostly focus on asking people not to buy things; they list the products that are especially complicit, but the main work of the movement is to get large investors (corporations, public institutions, whole governments) to divest from the companies targeted because that actually hurts them enough that it becomes less profitable to continue to collude with Israel than to drop them as clients. Consumer spending is not enough to do this. It's easy and doesn't require doing actual work but it's basically virtue signaling, not organizing. Just NOT doing something (yes including voting) is not enough! I personally choose not to give my money to certain corporations because it feels bad to me and I can't stomach doing it, even if they never notice me doing it. But if I was running out of fuel and the only nearby station was a Chevron, I would spend a few bucks there and not beat myself up about it because it will have zero impact on their overall profit reports but a LOT of impact on my life. And if I was in the airport for the second time in mere days after circumnavigating the globe and playing a massive show and doing press and fan service before even having time to adjust time zones and about to get on another flight to another country I might buy a fucking coffee from whatever coffee shop was in there too! But Louis isn't me and I'm gonna be real honest I would be real surprised if he KNEW there was a boycott or gave a shit- he is not a political activist! It's reasonable to be disappointed if someone behaves not how you want them to, but just in general responding to being disappointed in people by lashing out at them is... not it. Not useful, not rational, and not actually an okay way to act to other people. Louis is an awesome sweet caring person who I believe tries hard not to have a negative impact on anyone directly and who cares very much about others; if that's not enough for someone to be a fan of him, okay then they should not be a fan of him! But warning: they're not going to be able to be a fan of anyone else either. No one is pure and perfect... maybe that energy would be better spent trying to make a meaningful difference in the world, and a great first step in that IMO is to recognize and challenge your inner cop. The better world I want to live in doesn't include policing other people, not on twitter and not anywhere.

[sixthwater]

Hello! Have you been feeling a bit lost recently? Especially with all of the eclipses that we've been experiencing? Well, here is some short advice from your spirit guides and angels to help get things sorted out.

Left → Right / Pile 1 → Pile 4)

Decks Used: The Psychic Oracle, Fairies Oracle Deck, Elle Qui Oracle, Woodland Wardens Oracle, Sacred Creators Oracle, Sea Melodies, Language of Flowers, Wild Unknown Animal Spirits,

Disclaimer | Pinned | Tip Jar | Paid Readings

Pile One

I began your reading and my back started killing me; make sure you’re doing proper stretches or you’re not pushing yourself too hard to wear yourself out.

There is a sense of holding your tongue or keeping yourself trapped in the closet. I just got an image of The Little Mermaid when she signed away her voice but it’s not the Disney version it’s the legitimate fairy tale, it’s also more of a choice? It’s difficult to describe; it’s not that you prefer to be uncomfortable and to hide under a mask blah blah blah, but there’s experience of pain and loss so you don’t want to do it again. Maybe you haven’t expressed certain emotions or identities, but you overheard them being looked down upon or it was made fun of, so instead you locked these emotions up and threw away the key (ex; someone laughing at you having feelings for them when brought up as a joke or someone disrespecting a sexual orientation/identity, etc). Your pile is the very first, in all of my history of reading, where I want to be completely silent and only listen to certain frequencies as well.

The advice: You need to listen to yourself and the world (in a way). You already have the answers to your questions/concerns inside of you, but you do need some help finding them obviously. You’re looking for external answers, but it’s only causing more confusion because...well everyone sees the world differently. So when you try to put yourself in those shoes, it causes more scratches on the Vinyl record that is your life, you know? It’s funny to say this but they’re kind of asking you to pull back and not move on so fast from what’s going on because you haven’t really sat with your feelings and gone through the process. What’s been upsetting you and why did it bother you. Why did you react that way. Well how did you get to Point E from Point B? Take a time out and sort these things out when you can because it’ll get you some clarity. There’s also a piece here about communicating and becoming vulnerable. It’s not exactly the same, but I need to figure myself out sometimes with talking and I end up stumbling upon revelations through discussions. You might need to have a low energy discussion with someone you feel comfortable with you so can get to these answers. You don’t need to immediately express or explain these things, but it will help you out. Some of you might need to re-route yourselves because you are lost and you took the wrong exit; it’s fine, that’s life and it’ll happen constantly. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, if you weren’t here to make mistakes then what are you even here for. Confide in other people, ask for help, get some guidance. You can rely on those around you, not everyone will want to hurt you. I keep being nudged to an issue with identity and — for some it’s just figuring out who you are but there’s pain so if it is what i mentioned earlier, only you know yourself. People can help, but do not let them police who you are and decide what’s ‘correct’ and what’s not. The main message overall is that there is a need for you to be vulnerable with people — or at least someone. There is either embarrassment or pride here holding you back and it’s smothering emotions that end up causing inner turmoil. I would say this points to seeking out a therapist but there are no swords here, so I believe this could just point to finding people to confide in or making peace with the softer aspects of yourself that you might find shameful.

With ‘Chance’ and ‘Dive’, I believe it’s just pointing more towards diving deeper into unknown territory which would be emotions you haven’t explored yet. ‘You cant live your life dealing with surface level things’ is the phrase I’m getting.

Pile Two

Pretty simple so this might be short. The energy check is a bit out of reach despite how simple it seems. I think the first two songs might sum it up a lot better than I can. I don’t believe it deals directly with love, but the idea remains.

I think the advice here is to not teeter too much to one side. You’re not lacking in passion, but you might pull back too much if something fails. There’s a slim piece about being a bit scattered in where you want to go, but we’ll touch on that later. For now, it’s being enveloped by how alive you feel when you’re going after your dreams. How happy it makes you and the rush you get. I keep being drawn back to Passion Ignited as well as Aylis because they’re similar; a glowing ‘orb’ that’s placed over the chest somewhat. Ah that reminds me of The Greatest Showman. Just it’s song ‘Come Alive’, I think that fits this pile quite well. You just have to be comfortable diving into your passion and not be embarrassed, and even when making mistakes, to laugh it off and keep chasing after it. It doesn’t even have to be a dream — people call nearly everything cringe these days. Are we not supposed to have hobbies? Enjoy your hobbies, that’s the point of living. What does it matter. Express yourself and be a bit goofy, you’re a bit tense and scared of messing up right now, but it’s okay. Now before I mentioned being scattered — there’s a small message of getting a clear view of what you want in your life. Do you want to be an influencer or do you just want a good work-life balance. Or a remote job. It’s the general idea that you have which might not really be what you want at the end of the day, and they’re just asking you to clarify, because you can make certain things come true if that’s what you want. However, with just as many ‘let loose’ cards you have, they’re balanced with some grounded cards here. Also, if you haven’t reached your goal yet, don’t give up. We never reach our goal with just one attempt or in just one chapter. You will get there.

Tiger Lily...maybe my job example was on point? If you’re thinking of jumping into something headfirst with no back-up, really think about it. Make sure you have savings, you have a safety-net, you have all your bases covered, etc. There are plenty of people who can afford to take a risky route of income because other people are covering bills with an insane paycheck, or they’ve had years to build up a base. Be patient, and work dutifully to get to that place. It’s difficult, but with these really precious spread I believe that you will have much to offer people if you take your time. This doesn’t mean give up, it just means be smart and take your time.

Associated Songs: Passion – Utada Hikaru, All My Heart – Sleeping with Sirens, Tonight – Kesha

Pile Three

This is gorgeous. The energy while pulling cards was light and goofy and I’m understanding why now. The meaning of these cards would usually give off a blue/purple aura, since there are a lot of messages alluding to soul searching, but I believe this is more...personable? How do I explain this.

Usually when you think of soul searching, you think of The Hermit. Someone who pulls back from socializing and focuses on themselves. However with this combination, it feels more like really thinking about- I’m sorry the strongest smell just popped through my vents and it smells like Cinnamon. It is not my favorite but it reminds me of gatherings late at night, anyway — It feels like thinking about the people around you and how they reflect you and what you want in your life. You figure yourself out and what you want out of life by interacting with others. It’s not that you need others to do this, but they shine a light on certain aspects of yourself or they bring you to do activities that you wouldn’t have done on your own, thus making you have these realizations. So the advice itself is saying that you should sit on these moments and really let them seep in. They’re not necessarily telling you to isolate and do some introspective thinking, but when you have these moments, don’t push them aside to keep up with others. You have a knack for knowing yourself inside and out, and what’s best for you. I know that seems pretty normal, but it’s not necessarily common. Knowing who or what you want VS what you don’t is a good gift and you should be utilizing it right now. I keep hearing ‘don’t be satisfied’. Keep looking for things that really make you happy. It’s not in a greedy sense, but don’t think ‘well that’ll do’, go seek out experiences or hobbies that make you feel whole! I don’t deal with chakras, but all this green is hard to ignore considering it stands for the Heart and I’ve felt happy and calm the entire reading. There’s not much advice here because you might already have the answer inside of you but more like recommendations; such as going for walks, or having calm hangouts with friends or family. I think you’re already doing what’s being said here, but do your best to keep a balance of focusing on those revelations of what’s best for you and healthy doses of engagement with those around you. I don’t have to pull extra cards either, you seem to be doing quite fine honestly

(There are no songs here, a lot of light-hearted songs. Some goofy mixes. Good Time by Carly Rae Jepsen & Owl City as well as chill songs that don’t really have messages in them)

Pile Four

Confidence. That sums up your whole reading. Well that and some change. Right now it doesn’t necessarily feel like doubt or naysayers, but you don’t really have people to boost you up. Or you need to feel extremely safe/supported in order to really go after something — which feels more physical than spiritual. So it could be a change in majors, career, personal expression, hell maybe just changing direction with your life in terms of dropping out or not using your degree in pursuit of something else entirely. The flowers in the Deceit card resemble horns right now and it’s like opinions or external thoughts regarding the situation that can make you overthink your next steps or how you feel about the topic in general. Gosh I’m forgetting the term but in a way, they could end up being right in a sense that they affect your natural ability and make you way too anxious to perform naturally, thus making you fail. So it’s the ‘well I’m going to fail so I’m not even going to do my very best’ so when you fail you think it was destined to happen.

Your guides and angels are asking you to just take a chance and trust in the adventure. You have to move with confidence, you can’t be sheepish with this. You could be new to this change, so obviously mistakes will happen, but you can’t go into this with a pessimistic attitude. I’m seriously not getting any negative energy around you so don’t worry about that. If the world around you is dull, explore different avenues that give you joy. I’m always going to say to never just leap into the unknown without any thought, but you seem extremely hesitant and it’s holding you back from a new chapter and great experiences that are meant for you. This could be in the shape of a new job or merely just new friends who could help you gain more confidence within yourself. Again though, this pile seems more material based than the others, so I’m thinking it’s related to money matters or at the most, possibly moving but that’s a stretch. There’s a small piece of being scared to take up new opportunities because you’re not well versed in them but, you won’t know everything in the world? The only way to gain experience is to test it out. If it’s for you, then you’ll know once you try it, right?

Haha the Bear! Yeah, this is an uncomfortable time for you, but it’s urging you to sort of learn how to walk, and embrace the natural calmness yet underlying formidable strength of this animal. I’m thinking of when someone was arguing that the bear was one of the scariest predators in the world, but this card also stands for inner strength and you literally have Strength here so, you just have to be comfortable entering this new stage of life (transitions, which there are too many examples for me to list here). Don’t be hard on yourself, everyone has been in your place before.

(Not many songs, just Bends by Carly Rae Jepsen stood out)

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

I’ve got so many more snake and snake related questions and so I’m just gonna give them in a big list:

I thought that your “animal bones” tag said “snake bones” and now I’m fascinated by that idea as a tag and generally snake skeleton stuff. This isn’t a question I suppose.

Is the number of vertebra of a snake (minus the tail vertebra) comparable in amount to human vertebra?

Are snake scales and snake skin made out of the same stuff human skin and nails and hair are made of (keratin and collagen and the like)?

Are any snakes physically capable of chewing or generally eating something not-whole? Do any of them chew?

To your knowledge, was the creation of syringe needles inspired in any way by snake fangs?

How do scientists milk venom, physically? How much can you take from a snake in one go without harming it? How often?

What are your “smartest” and “dumbest” snakes, if such a thing can be quantified?

Thank you for the snake fact answers. I could just look it up but SEO is a bitch and I like asking people questions about things they’re passionate about.

Great questions!!

Snake bones are so cool. I love looking at viper skeletons especially.

2. Nope! People have like 24 vertebrae, with snakes it depends on species length but snakes have between 100-600. Snake tails are actually pretty short when compared to their torsos (look at the skeleton image below, the tail starts where the ribs end); tails have as few as 10 and as many as a couple hundred vertebrae. Those numbers sound very variable, and that's because snakes just vary so wildly in size and shape!

3. Yes! The same materials make up snake skin and scales as make up human skin and nails. Same stuff, different blueprint! :)

4. Snakes are built very specifically to swallow whole prey, and there are no real exceptions to this. No snake can chew. Some snakes, like snail-eaters, have specialized teeth and jaws designed to "scoop" snails out of their shells so sometimes they don't get it all in one go, but even they are built to try and get as much out at once as possible.

5. Not to my knowledge, I think it's a matter of convergent evolution! :) Hollow needles are just really good at getting stuff into other stuff.

6. When we do venom extractions from snakes, we usually just have them bite a funnel and what they give us is what they give us. If a certain venom is in very high demand, then sometimes we'll express the venom glands while the snake is biting down. That involves gently squeezing the glands to ensure a good amount of venom is released in the bite. It looks rough but I promise it's not, the hold is as gentle as possible and the snakes are not hurt in the process! You gently hold the snake's neck to keep them restrained and keep everyone safe (if you lightly squeeze your wrist just hard enough to manually tilt your hand, it's about that much pressure) and you use your fingers on the opposite hand to express the glands.

We might get 1/10 a teaspoon from each snake per extraction, it's genuinely just a few drops. It takes multiple snakes to get enough to do anything with. At my lab we extract from each snake about once every other week; they need time to relax in between! Venom isn't necessary to remain healthy for lab snakes, but we don't want to stress them.

7. In general, elapids (cobras and their relatives) are the smartest snakes I've ever worked with! King cobras absolutely take the award here, they're so intelligent and curious and just a treat to interact with. Our old boy at my lab, Puppy, can put himself in his handling tube and is always such a show-off for tours. One of my favorite snakes at the lab is an Egyptian cobra named Seth, he's so much fun and loves figuring out the food puzzles and mazes I set up for him!

As for dumbest...I've said it before and I'll say it again, but hognoses are just absolutely zero thoughts animals.

[deramin2]

There's something deeply ableist about people acting like Aunt Bee can't look as old as she does or have a body as broken down as hers is because she's only 55. As if people age like Sims in a totally consistent way with the benchmark for health being people with good access to housing, nutrition, healthcare, health, and lack of stress.

It's the kind of ableism that causes people to be told they're too young to need mobility aids or too young to be experiencing chronic pain. It can express itself in disdain for people missing teeth. It's judging people for their hair turning grey earlier than average (or losing their hair) and how that automatically disqualifies you from youth and beauty even though for some people it can start in their teens. It's the way people with rapid aging disorders are treated like monsters to be feared or tragedies whose lives couldn't possibly include joy.

Our image of a 55-year-old is someone still in relatively good health with maybe a little grey and no serious health problems. Largely stemming from what 55-year-olds are allowed to be visible in media. People who fall outside of that are treated as faking or deviant. I don't think people are even aware how often they fall into this sort of ableism and ageism. People who experience it are ignored and made invisible.

I personally know 55-year-olds that look much older than Aunt Bee because they lived very hard lives that took a huge physical toll on their bodies. Who have grey hair turning white, can barely stand, need oxygen, have sagging lined faces, etc. Features people do not associate with their age. And if they need full-time care only the gods can help them because nursing homes won't take you without medicare. Notably these people experienced long term homelessness leading to constant extreme stress, trauma, exposure to the elements, and lack of medical care. Spend any time around people who've experienced long-term homelessness and Aunt Bee looks perfectly average.

The woman I know who actually experience this do in fact try and hold onto any youth they can through things like makeup because they've been made very aware they've "lost" their womanhood and are no longer considered beautiful. They are not listened to, they are not considered, they are erased. They're constantly internalizing that the good parts of their life are behind them now and they have nothing to look forward to but steady decline and alienation. This isn't actually true, but I've seen how inescapable this message is.

When certain kinds of disability are shown in Critical Role shows, people celebrate. Or queer sexualities that get little representation. But here is a woman who has aged beyond her years from hardship and people are acting so incredulous like it's impossible and Marisha is just clueless about aging. Instead of representing woman who are totally erased from media and deeply othered for their natural looks and invisible disabilities.

Marisha did something brave and chose to represent woman that are erased from the narrative (especially by Hollywood where she lives). She dared to show a woman who aged early and still has so much worth. But it's treated like a joke and like incompetence.

So no, I don't find that clowning funny at all. I find it cruel and misogynistic and ableist and ageist. I think it does violence against woman society has hurt the most, excludes, and erases. It's the haters who are showing their ignorant asses.

[cedarbeing]

✨💤Lucid Dreaming💤✨

I see a lot of people talking about lucid dreaming recently. The truth of it is, you don’t need fancy teas, to eat specific foods, or have specific crystals, although if you want to do all that, go right ahead, it probably won’t hurt you anyways.

The easiest way to lucid dream, in my experience, is to count your fingers

..yes, that’s it.

So you want to lucid dream? count your fingers, everyday and multiple times a day. It may seem silly but it WORKS. you’ll cement this practice as a habit to your brain, you’ll focus on it daily, it’ll become mundane. so, after a week or so, maybe even earlier if you’re lucky, you will start doing this in your dreams. That’s where the fun begins.

Ever notice how AI generated images cannot correctly replicate hands? our brain is similar in that when we’re sleeping and you try to focus on your hands, its just wrong. too many fingers, not enough, or, in my case: fingers growing off of fingers. Once you realize your hands are quite incorrect, it jolts your conscious awake: Tah dah! lucid dreaming! 

Now, this is where the actual difficulty comes in. It is difficult to stay lucid, especially when you’re excited about it! practice ways to calm down while you’re dreaming. Sometimes it just takes a few times initiating lucid dreaming to get full control of it, other times it may be more difficult and require more effort outside in the waking world. (practice calming strategies the same way as counting fingers). It’ll be different for everyone, some may struggle with a certain aspect while others will not. Lucidity often flows in and out. You should let it! I find overtime it lasts longer if you’re not fighting for it to stay.

If you’re having a hard time getting started, try waking yourself up during the middle of sleep, early in the AM. Even if you’re up for a few short minutes, this is usually enough to get things jumpstarted, disturbing the sleep cycle allows your brain to wake up which may be of help when you initially fall back into REM sleep.

It’s not a magic thing, we don’t need crystals, herbs or spells to start. You really don’t need anything other than your effort to practice. That being said, it can be used as a magical tool. I saw someone recently mention doing spell work within lucid dreams, it really peaked my interest! It’s something I definitely intend on trying soon.

Things to remember:

its okay if you don’t get it right away, can’t hold onto the dream, or can’t lucid dream all the time. It’s not really realistic to constantly be conscious while dreaming. Just remember to keep practicing! You will get the hang of it. (lucid dreaming too frequently probably isn’t too great for you anyways, there’s some interesting but limited research on this.)

I highly suggest keeping a dream journal, even if it’s just fragments or very small fuzzy memories. I Often find journaling helps dreams become more vivid over time as you’re more focused on the details of them. I like to journal as soon as my eyes open, so I keep my book and pen under my pillow :) 

Happy Dreaming! 

[edengarden]

Word has it

Synopsis: Caesar’s odd behaviour around you has led you to believe he’s plotting something behind your back. And you want to know what it is.

Pairing: Caesar x gn!reader

Warnings: profanity, reader threatens caesar via holding a project hostage, Caesar still doesn’t have a concept of personal space.

Word count: 3425

Notes: LO AND BEHOLD!! A collab between me and @lairu ! I wrote this, she was kind enough to provide me with two pieces to post along with this :’) You can find the two images underneath their respective scenes in this fic!

This fic can also be read as a standalone or as a continuation of Personal space? Never heard of her.

You wish you could say that Caesar was a constant. You wish you could tell people that once you stick around for a certain amount of time, Caesar’s behavior becomes the new normal. There was even a point in your time spent on Punk Hazard that you yourself believed that. However, recently, it was proven that your wishful thinking was very far from the truth.

Granted, even at this point, you suppose that there was some sort of pattern in his new behavior. He’d gravitate towards you whenever he felt bored or underwhelmed, bother you until you gave in and entertained him, only to then flee halfway through a conversation. You couldn’t even tell what it was that set him off; there was no pattern to it. And you tried finding one, you really did. It was truly confusing, considering how he’d bend in half for your attention only to dismiss it a few minutes later. It reminded you a bit of a cat that would lose all interest in something seconds after receiving it. You started wondering when he’d start biting you out of nowhere as well.

Considering that you now had to put up with Caesar for only half the time you used to, you weren’t exactly going to complain. In fact, you even mentioned it to Monet in the log, wondering if perhaps she had the same luck as you did. That’s where things got… interesting, if you could put it that way.

When you came back from your three weeks off to Monet telling you that she doesn’t know what you were talking about, all kinds of alarms started ringing in your mind. You must have read Monet’s entire log three times in a row, trying your best to grasp a full understanding of it before you jumped to conclusions. But after each time, one thing seemed clear to you; Caesar wasn’t acting normally. Or, well, as ‘normal’ as someone like him can be. A part of you wanted to hit yourself for not labeling his hot-and-cold attitude towards you as a red flag from the get-go. However, now, you knew better. And you believed that now, you were a lot more attentive to details.

Caesar let out the most dramatic sigh you’ve ever heard as the door to the laboratory’s makeshift ‘living room’ slid close. You barely gave him a glance as he made his way through the room, but with the way he carried himself, one could believe that he was the most overworked man on earth. Which you knew was very far from the truth.

He let out another sigh, just as loud as the last one and slightly forced. You knew damn well that he was fishing for attention here and had you been as tired as you usually are, you would’ve ignored him, but you felt like you were in a particularly good mood today. It wouldn’t hurt to actually willingly participate in his antics if you were energized enough to do so, no? “Tough day in the lab?” You asked as you kept your eyes fixed on your own task, completely missing the way he lit up a bit. It wasn’t every day that you actually initiated the conversation.

“Oh, horrid.” Caesar replied as he crashed on the couch, seeing nothing wrong with taking its entirety and practically shoving his feet in your lap so that he could spread out a bit more. One of his arms draped itself over his eyes as he laid on his back. So much for your task. It was a bit hard to work when your notebook got practically shoved out of your lap. “But luckily enough, I worked it out. Thermodynamics is nothing to a genius like me!” Considering that Caesar’s devil fruit works on gas but not temperature fluctuations, you doubt that it went as smoothly as he claims. But you decided not to comment on that and trigger one of his World Famous Bitchfits, instead opting for a quiet hum.

“Now what have you been up to?” He questioned as soon as the silence stretched on for longer than he liked. Again with the personal questions. Ever since Monet’s message caught you off-guard, you’ve been noticing that Caesar asks a lot of questions regarding yourself nowadays. Which is weird, considering that it used to be all about him and even if you would have wanted to put some retroaction in, he would’ve cut you right off with another anecdote of his.

Which is why you’re suspecting that he might be planning something against you in particular. At first, you thought his odd behavior was a sign that he was going to go against Doflamingo himself, but that idea was quickly scratched because you understood that while Caesar isn’t exactly the most obedient of subordinates, he’s fully aware that Doflamingo is his shield against the World Government at the moment. And he’s smarter than fucking around and finding out what happens when you mess with Doflamingo.

“Not much,” you replied, casting him a side-glance. Though you were a little mistrustful of what he’d actually do, you were in a good enough mood to entertain him today. Without the usual insults that came with it. “Though I’m sure that with you around, it can be more bearable.” Caesar finally let his arm drop from his face and he tilted his chin at an odd angle towards you, squinting his eyes and pinching his lips together as if he was trying to figure out what your game plan is. You couldn’t blame him; if someone who was usually cold and distant suddenly engaged in a pleasant-sounding conversation with you, you’d do the same. You held his stare, confident that you had nothing to hide in the first place.

“Am I witnessing you finally coming out of your shell right now? I always thought you were genetically predisposed to being antisocial and rude!” He finally cried out with a slight twinge of sarcasm in his voice. All of a sudden, that good mood you were in was starting to dwindle… You wonder why.

Sucking your teeth in annoyance, you tear your eyes away from his gaze and bend over his bothersome legs to pick up your notebook. “If you’d asked Monet how I am with others, you would’ve found out that the problem doesn’t stem from me.” You shot back, earning a dramatic gasp from the man. You didn’t need to cast him a look to know that he was probably holding a hand to his chest as if he were an innocent person being accused of a moral transgression.

“As far as I’m concerned, I’ve never been anything but nice to you.” Caesar turned his head away and lifted his chin a little, crossing his arms over his chest. You’d never seen a fully grown man pout like a child like this before, and yet here you are. You could swear that the hissing of gas that usually accompanied him got a little louder and sharper. Did it fluctuate with his mood? You never noticed.

You patted his ankle, which still lay in your lap despite Caesar’s half-baked fit. “Now, now. I was saying things the objective way. I didn’t intend to hurt.” You said in a tone that dripped with half-hearted sarcasm. “Did I hurt your pride? Do you want me to kiss it better?” You added with a mean smile sent his way.

His feet whipped out of your lap so quickly that you almost yelped at the sudden movement. The self-proclaimed mad scientist shot a disdainful look at you before rising up to his feet. You frowned at his less than necessary actions. “Did I really upset you?” You asked. It would be crazy if you had. You’d said worse things in the past that didn’t get this sort of violent reaction from him. And, maybe for that very reason, you felt a bit bad about it. “Come on, I really wasn’t serious.” You added and you could not believe that you were trying to accommodate him so that he’d stay. Usually you’d rejoice in his storming off like he was doing at the moment.

Yet, nothing you could say seemed to change his mind. Caesar stomped through the room and somehow managed to slam the sliding door shut behind him, causing you to flinch at the loud metallic noise. His sudden foul mood soured yours as well as you stared at the door in shock. Seriously, what was his deal? You couldn’t figure him out at all. And, considering that it seemed to be a personal thing, it didn’t sit well with you. Caesar’s short fuse could be a potential problem for you in the future and you’d rather be aware of how to deal with it efficiently before it blows up in your face.

It was now your turn to jump up from your spot on the couch. If this bastard was planning a coup against you, you were going to find out and you were going to find out now.

It wasn’t that hard to find him. You did it rather quickly, thus not giving enough time for yourself to cool down and think of a possible alternative to this situation that you were about to impose on him. But then again, Caesar has gotten on your nerves so often these past few weeks that you feel it’s only fair that you give him some emotional distress yourself. And it’s not like you were going to psychologically torture him; you simply needed to get him in a panicked state of mind. It was very easy to get him there, if you knew which buttons to push (which you had ample time to learn about since you were deployed here). The result was exactly what you felt was needed for him to confess about any undermining plots he may have.

You stepped into the laboratory without bothering to knock. And your patience for Caesar thinned even more when the man shot you a nasty glare for interrupting him. Though he didn’t seem to be doing much at the moment. So much so that you feared you weren’t going to be able to get what you needed from him. “Have you never learned how to knock?!” He screeched as he turned towards you, already shooing you with his hands. With the slight side step he took to do so, you finally spotted exactly what you were looking for. “Leave!”

Without awarding him with so much as a word in exchange, you crossed the laboratory with a neutral expression and stopped right on the other side of the table he was currently at. Seeing your impassive face, Caesar ended up more perplexed than anything. Some of his anger faded as he finally dropped his hand to his side and stared at you with slightly furrowed brows, yet again trying to figure out what may possibly be going through your head. Good. That gave you enough time to quickly snatch the oversized erlenmeyer sitting between the two of you filled with some heavy gaseous substance that he was most likely using at the moment. You held the glass container in one hand and took various steps back to create some space between the two of you before he could get it back from you. You were cautious enough to stay out of his range of power, as well.

“What are you– give that back!” Caesar shrieked. You shook your head, unable to hold back the vicious smile forming on your face as you held out the erlenmeyer to taunt him. He let out a scream. “Stop! Stop! Don’t move it! It’s not stable yet!” He cried out and you immediately stopped your shaking, though you were still ready to start it again and ruin whatever it was he was doing with this compound.

“Why have you been so weird lately?” You asked. Caesar’s eyes remained focused on the delicate substance in your hands, practically ignoring you. Possibly unintentionally so. “Caesar! I said, “ why have you been so weird lately?”!” You repeated a bit louder, finally getting his attention. He looked at you like a deer in headlights.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you call bullshit. So, instead, you gave the erlenmeyer a good shake and squinted your eyes at him, conveying that you weren’t buying it. He screeched and took a few steps forward to catch up with you but you held out a hand in warning.

“Ah! Come closer and I drop it.” You warned him.

“You wouldn’t dare.” He hissed back. You simply shrugged.

“Tell me why you’ve been acting so weirdly lately and nothing gets destroyed.” You repeated and the scientist let out an exasperated cry, throwing his arms up in the air.

“I don’t fucking know what you mean! I’ve been doing nothing!” He yelled.

“You have been doing something! Something’s going on in your head and I want to know what it is!” You screamed to match his volume. “And if you don’t..!” You started shaking the substance in circles and, though it technically looked like a gas in there, it seemed to sway with your movement.

“Stop it!” Caesar shrieked. You insisted that he tell you once more, still shaking the glassware. “There’s fucking nothing!” You still weren’t sold.

“No? Then you won’t mind if I…” And your grip on the neck of the erlenmeyer started slipping. You weren’t here to fuck around, after all.

As it dipped down a few inches, Caesar cried out with a gasp and he stretched out a hand, as if hoping he could catch it from all the way over there without taking a single step forward. Though he soon noticed that the bottle was still hanging from your hand and instead of slouching in relief, he remained tense as he stared at you with wide eyes and a still outstretched hand. “Don’t!”

“Tell me why you’ve been so weird lately!” You replied in the same, obnoxiously loud volume as him. You gave the substance an even harsher stir. You think you heard Caesar sob a little. “Tell me why–”

“Because you make me feel weird!” He roared louder than the two of you had been yelling for the past few moments. You abruptly stopped your tormenting and frowned at him while he seemed to cower on himself a little, appalled by what he had just said.

“I make you feel weird?” You replied calmly, grimacing in confusion. That could mean anything. Caesar remained obstinately silent, his hands clenched into fists at his sides and avoiding eye contact. “So you weren’t… planning to kill me or anything?” You added, just to be sure.

A part of you knew fully well that he wasn’t half bad at putting up an act. He could still be playing you right now, but the way that he seemed more uncomfortable than ever at the moment felt too genuine, even by Caesar’s usual standards.

“Kill you?” He repeated, staring at you equally as confused as you were, staring at him. “Why would I want to kill you?”

“You’re a complicated person, I wouldn’t fuckin’ know.” You said with a shrug that was cut halfway through when Caesar almost whimpered and you were reminded that you still held his oh, so important compound. You stilled for the sake of his impending heart attack. “The hell does ‘make me feel weird’ mean?” The man clicked his tongue in annoyance and looked away once more, pursing his lips in a frown. You tapped on the glass of the erlenmeyer to remind him of the hostage you’d taken and he was brought back into the present in no time.

“It means…” You’d never seen someone struggle with saying something so much in your life. It almost seemed like he was having physical pain from just trying to force out whatever it was he was trying to force out. You remained dead silent and careful not to agitate the compound, hoping that it would make Caesar finally spit out what he had to say. He groaned and pressed his fists to his forehead. A bit dramatic, if you were allowed to say it. Surely it wouldn’t cause his death, so why the hell is he so pressed over this?

With your patience wearing thin, you let the erlenmeyer slip from your grasp a bit more. Maybe if you put him under some stress again, he’ll open up. However, upon noticing it, Caesar grumbled something under his breath akin to ‘fuck it’ and walked around the table at a brisk pace.

“Ah! Keep your distance or I'll drop it!” You exclaimed, holding out a hand in front of you as he approached you faster than you’d like.

“It’s already ruined.” He muttered as he slapped your wrist away. You barely had time to react as he leaned down, grasped your cheeks in his gloved hands rather harshly and practically yanked your face towards his to kiss you.

You found it was within your right to have quite the reaction to this by flinching and dropping the flask dangling in your hand. The noise seemed to have taken Caesar by surprise because he pulled away and once there was more space separating the two of you, you finally felt able to breathe again.

Whatever was in the erlenmeyer turned out to be a volatile substance but before it could do more than slightly daze you (though that could have also been the result of being kissed when you were absolutely not expecting it), Caesar managed to take care of it with his Devil Fruit. You took that opportunity to grasp his wrists and lightly tug his hands away from your cheeks. “So, uh…” You started, hesitating when your lips still tingled a bit and your heart threatened to beat loudly enough to bruise you from the inside. “Message received. Loud and clear.” What else could you say right now?

Seeing as the momentary frustration Caesar felt had finally dissipated along with his ruined experiment, he fully pulled away from your grasp, looking down at the floor with slightly flushed cheeks as he kicked away the sharp shards of glass littered around the two of you. “Look at what you did. Made such a mess.” He muttered, though the mess should be the least of his worries at the moment. It surely was the least of yours. “Couldn’t you have just kept your nose out of my business?!”

“Unfortunately, your business concerns me.” You replied, pressing your lips together to try and at least diminish the sensation lingering on them. You’re sort of glad that you dropped the glassware when you did, because you’re afraid that you might have kissed him back if you hadn’t.

“Like hell it does,” he replied with a self-deprecating huff before crouching on the floor to pick up the bigger pieces of glass. Even at a little over a quarter of his height, he wasn’t that much smaller than you. You could tell that the way he felt about his… feelings wasn’t positive. And, now that you think about it, his behavior makes a lot of sense. Considering that you’re only here for a job, it could be completely uncalled for if he were to develop feelings for you. Borderline unprofessional, if you will. It totally makes sense now why he’d flee from you at the drop of a hat. Caesar has horrible emotional coping techniques.

You couldn’t help but ponder over it all. Sure, you think he’s a bit of a pain, and you find him utterly annoying, but it puzzles you that you actually enjoyed that kiss. Was this the result of being married to your job? “It’s your business until you tell Joker and get transferred and I’ll–” In any case, you decided that you could worry about the details later. You couldn’t stand Caesar finishing that whingeing sentence, so instead you decided to promptly shut him up by kissing him, seeing as how it was the only thing on your mind at the moment.

Thank goodness that you felt him sway a bit before he fell ass first into shards of glass and were able to stabilize him by holding onto his shoulder with your free hand. He let out a muffled grunt of surprise against your mouth before you parted. “Not a word to Joker about this.”

Caesar nodded, as dazed as you had been when he was the one who took you by surprise earlier. “Agreed.”

[csuitebitches]

How do you detach from things that are not meant for you or no longer serve you? I've trained my mind and been telling myself about this but something in me still holds onto it.

Detachment is something that I’ve been exploring for years. I’m not a pro at it, but I will share what I’ve learned.

Detachment doesn’t mean you stop caring or the whole “I don’t give a fuck attitude.” I think that’s why a lot of people struggle with detachment because they try to achieve the wrong meaning which is humanly impossible. How can you not care at all? Is that even possible? If you manage to achieve that then you must be in a vegetable state.

Detachment, my guru told me, means you can have possessions - but do not be possessive of them. Think over this sentence for a bit; how do you infer it?

I grew up as a very sensitive, very emotional child and teenager. I was very emotionally swayed by things and I would get hurt very easily. I didn’t know how to detach in a healthy manner, so I tried certain things that ultimately worked for me.

Number one is admitting the truth as it is. Let me give you an example. My last serious relationship was over 3 years ago. It wasn’t a bad relationship, we just weren’t compatible.

Whenever people asked me why we broke up, I’d blame him. It was him. His fault. He said this. He did that.

But for a couple of years, (even though I wasn’t in love with him anymore), I still couldn’t somehow close that chapter.

For me step one was admitting that yes, he messed up, but so did I. I wasn’t any less to blame than he was.

Thinking this way initially messed me up a lot because my ego and anger was so entangled with this situation that I couldn’t bear the thought of me being wrong. I had to unlearn that.

That’s what detachment is to me - learn, unlearn and relearn.

Step two in my case, was actively working towards being a better person - noting down my weak areas, what I bring to the table, etc. I stayed single for years. I didn’t date seriously after and I still haven’t, but a few initial dates I went on - I knew I was a better person as a partner than what I once was.

Step three was time. Closure takes time. It doesn’t happen overnight. There were often times I’d feel stabs of guilt, shame or embarrassment at my past behaviour - but I would continuously tell myself, I’m better now. I am a better person now. I don’t wish badly on him at all.

Step four was being able to talk about it to my friends. It took a lot out of me to say that I knew I had messed up. My friends were supportive of me, because they knew it was hard for me to admit something like that.

Detaching from things takes time. To detach, you really have to connect to your inner Self.

In the case of people. Love should be without attachment. We fall in love with people, get possessive of them, attached to them, affected by them - we have made them a bigger priority than anything else. We don’t trust them enough to step back and love them without attachment because we fear that they will break our heart or abuse our trust.

In the case of situations. We get emotionally attached to certain situations - a much yearned job position, a need to have a certain lifestyle, an ex partner- we place some of our identity in these situations.

“I want the job” or “I want to project a certain image of luxury” - there’s a need, a want, a desire. When we don’t receive what we want, it’s painful because we are attached to that.

How do you connect to your inner Self?

I turned to spirituality. It helped me heal, it helped me grow. It’s still helping me find myself and guide me.

Here’s a spiritual article that helped me.

Remember, everything is a process. Find what works for you and stay consistent.

[bluem00n007]

Chirp chirp

"Ah there you are! Poor thing, the storm really hit you hard huh?" A kind voice called out to a little mass n the ground, a little bird lay on the forest floor near the roots of a giant tree, twigs broken and feathers ruffled.

"Hey, no need to be afraid, I won't hurt you", the young ginger said kindly as he crouched down, holding a gentle hand out so as to not frighten the little thing, "I am Arcky, no need to worry I will do my best to heal you, but first we need to see what's wrong" as if the little bird understood his words and knew he meant no harm it stayed still as it was picked up by soft hands with care that can only be rivaled by its own feathers

"Ah a broken wing, no worries, I have the spell for it, it will just take some time" Arcky assured as he gently patted the bird's neck with his thumb, Summoner would have loved meeting you

"Sorry Arcky, I have to go on a visit with Vega, maybe next time"

They have gotten close huh? Well good for them, I am happy they are, I was always trying to get them to hang out and get close, Summoner still hangs out with me when she can and Vega still gardens with me, I am happy two people i love are getting along, I am happy, yeah! As he literally worked his magic Arcky found his mind wandering to the events that unfolded earlier that day, a storm had occurred last night and his mission was to check up on the local flora and fauna and helping any critter that might need his help

He wanted her to come with him, he felt like he knew she would enjoy meeting all the cute animals and the image of her form carefully taking care of animals left him too joyous to be prepared for a rejection, she was always so kind and ready to help, in his long life he had forgotten how it felt when someone worried about you. The sorcerers knew they would be protected by the constellations, so they never bothered to ask of each other's well being during dangerous visits, it was a pointless exercise; but it still felt good when she asked him worriedly if he was alright after every encounter with monsters, it felt nice being cared of instead of promising and helping around for once, but he is to blame for that

Speaking of promises, he hadn't done a very good job of promising found memories and safety to her either, she had endangered herself on several occasions already, all of them could have been prevented had he been there! but he wasn't

And he was not there with her right now

The realization felt heavy as his hands gripped the bird a tad bit tighter for its comfort comfort, not realising

Ah but Vega is there! He trusted the silver haired man like his own brother! He was proud of how much he has progressed, not only as a sorcerer but as a person too and he was proud of him! But what if

But what if he couldn't protect her- what is he is the one who ends up hurting her? No, Vega wouldn't! He is the one who he would trust her with the most...

he would trust him the most, after him, for all it mattered Arcky didn't feel but knew for certain that he won't hurt or let her get hurt anymore

His grip on the bird tightens, almost starting to suffocate it as it flails in his hands helplessly, very much at the mercy of the "gentle" man who only wanted to help it

"Yes, I am the one who will always keep her happy and safe, I am sure of it"

CHIRP

Breaking him from his trance, he never realised he almost strangled the helpless thing, "Ah I am so sorry! I healed your wing completely, I will loosen my grip now-" As he did, the little bird flew away the first opportunity it saw, leaving Arcturus alone on the ground longingly and regrettably staring at it

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

day two: kneeling

a Vaniah story. word count 1,054.

A siren rang through the room. Vaniah winced, wanting to cover his ears but not wanting to seem weak. None of the rest seemed bothered by it, but they all got up from their various tasks and went to the main hall. Vaniah found Maria and Mordecai as they trooped into the room, and stood near them. Jim was standing up the front.

“Medical checkups,” he said calmly. “Get in alphabetical order by first names.”

Vaniah headed towards the back of the room. While everyone was still milling about Jim snapped, “Quickly, now! The doctors don’t have all day.”

In front of Victoria and behind Uriah, Vaniah waited with a good deal of trepidation. They’d been told that they’d be started on medication presently to make them strong enough for their jobs, along with the regular enforced gym visits, but this was the first time he was going to see a doctor. Being relatively healthy, he’d barely seen a doctor at all in his life before now.

“Not all of you are going to pass this test,” said Jim. “There’s a certain standard of physical ability that must be passed.”

I’m going to be strong enough, Vaniah promised himself. I’m going to make it.

One by one, they were taken out of the room. The line was long and slow, and Vaniah fidgeted until it came to his turn eventually.

As soon as he entered the smaller room Jim ushered him into, someone wearing a mask and scrubs said, “Kneel down.”

He knelt. The floor was cold and hard.

“Hold out your right arm and close your eyes.”

He tensed as a needle entered the crook of his elbow.

“Hold still!” said the voice, and swore at him.

Vaniah wanted to lie down on the cold hard floor and fail whatever unknown tests they were putting him through. Just for a moment, he wanted out.

I must be strong, he reminded himself. Weakness is failure.

More tests, some testing his flexibility, some his ability to stand still for a long time, some kneeling. His knees hurt and nobody told him anything about why.

At the end of it he was told to go into the next room and sit on the floor. Like a lost lamb, or a lamb to the slaughter, he went. Everybody else was seated there already, and there were groans when he entered.

“There isn’t room,” started someone, shuffling up a bit further to let him sit down.

“Shut up,” hissed someone else in a low voice. “They said when I first came in here that we were to be quiet!”

This floor was very hard. Vaniah was somehow kneeling again, squashed into a place where his long limbs were barely even able to fit, surrounded by others.

They all looked as lost as he felt. But he was stronger than them. He wasn’t going to flunk out of this. He was going to be strong.

Time passed; he wasn’t sure how long it took before the last person came through and the door in the opposite wall silently swung open.

“So… do we get to leave now?” asked Mordecai out loud.

Nobody answered. At last, braver than the rest, Mordecai got up and left. Slowly, everyone got to their feet and trickled out. Vaniah waited until nearly everyone was gone before staggering painfully to the door and slipping out in a bunch of people. Outside in the compound, nobody seemed quite sure what to do next; they were hanging about in groups, talking nervously.

He found Mordecai, Maria and a couple of the others he didn’t know the names of in quiet conversation.

“—not sure how much more of this I can take,” one of the others was saying. “It’s the uncertainty that gets me.”

“Uncertainty is part of life,” said Mordecai, surprised. “We need to be flexible.”

“They’re trying to destabilise us!” whispered the other, so quietly that Vaniah could barely hear him. “They don’t want us to be confident in ourselves. They’re trying to remould us and remake us in their own image.”

“They need us to be good at our jobs. They’re not psychologically damaging us just for kicks,” said Vaniah. “Not that they’re psychologically damaging us at all. Just preparing us for the real world.”

“I’m not so sure,” was the reply.

The siren rang out again, and Vaniah jumped.

As soon as they had all filed in to the meeting room again, Jim signalled for the doors to be shut and said crisply, “Did I tell you to leave the antechamber?”

Everybody shuffled. Someone tried to dob Mordecai in and was promptly hushed.

“Those who have failed to pass the tests….”

Someone booed.

“If I hear another noise from any of you until I’m done talking the offender will be immediately flunked out. Failed. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

Dead silence.

“Uriah, Megan, Auralia, Benjamin, Damien, Francine, Cora, Emmalynn, Raven and Angeline. Come forward.”

The unfortunates shuffled out of their places.

“The rest of you are not immune to failing out. Only the strong will survive. Not every test has been reviewed yet, so you may be failed at any time. Continue doing exactly what we tell you and you might make it through. But be careful. Any whisper of sedition will surely fail you out.—Speaking of which, Seneca, step forward!”

The boy next to Vaniah eased his way to the front of the crowd. He was shaking.

“I heard you. I always hear you.” He stepped forward and slapped the boy across the face, hard enough that he almost fell. “Don’t do it again.”

The crowd closed around him, protectively, and Jim said sharply, “Don’t forget that you cannot protect one another. Ultimately, it’s you and you alone against our rigorous criteria. Only the best will pass. Make sure you are one of the best and things won’t be hard for you.”

Vaniah didn’t want to move too near the boy who had spoken sedition. He shifted a little closer to Mordecai instead. Maria gripped his wrist, white-knuckled.

“You might think this is bad right now,” finished Jim, “but this is nothing to what sedition will bring you. Remember you’ve chosen this life. It was your own choice. But it’s our choice who stays. That’s all. You can leave.”

[tenetikles]

Same anon,

Gnome: "Well, technically that's how it started. Had a few times the group I worked with needed to get information from people that were less than forth coming. Learned that some races react differently to soft or harder interactions and time. Originally, I was just the person that kept the gear in shape or that was the idea. The leader, the cheap bastard she was, assumed things could always be fixed no matter how mangled it was.". The gnome pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance, "What is it about people not knowing some things have a shelf life? especially if you don't take care of them. "

"Anyways, keeping all the material did come handy when crafting some restraints to hold who we needed. Some had weak stomachs, underarms, you name it. Found out some people with tails, wings and horns had those bits protected for a reason."

He takes out a worn book with notes of those he's had to get information out of. "Horns can show their health for some. The color, shape, length and how durable it is. Some are sensitive from where they grow others can enjoy them being held, grasped, or played with. Massaging the base can relax them or get them riled up. Take it as you will." Pointing to the image of wings, "Wings were interesting, for some, having their wings tied had...interesting results. Some panic almost like a chicken with their head cut off. They thrash about, yelling, even biting. Good for mental stress. I guess they feel trapped. The feeling of drowning for some depends on how tight their wings are held. Some have enjoyed it, others not so much. Those with feathers tend to have sensitive frames,l I believe. Light grips or hard can get them talking. Those that have leathery ones, the webbing is what gets them. Very fragile, you'll need to apply oils or lotion to weight them down and prevent tearing. After that, well your choice. Seen some stand at attention and barely move. Eyes opened wide, jaws open and stammering. Their wings add stress from where they sprout. Massage there, tickle, pinch and they just crumble, melt, turn into putty. Same with the horns."

He turns to the tail portion of the book, "this was a bit different. Depending on the race and their health, either nothing happens or something happens. One or the other. Made friends with a tiefling that let me mess with his tail. Base of it where it comes out of the body can tense up like it wants to crush something. I almost lost my head. The hips can take them from stiff and wanting to kill you to a limp noodle. Tested it with other tieflings and it varies. Others need their back massed with, others the underside. I may need to get more info. "

Taking out a small ball, "learned that gags came in many shapes and durability. Different races have different jaw strengths and their teeth can either break it or be broken. Also puts stress on the jaw, always thought it had no purpose. I was wrong. Some serve as a way to prevent the wearer from hurting themselves. Clenching can be bad for your jaw and teeth. Wear them out or break them or you could bite your tongue, though I've learned some are into that. Gag can force their jaw into certain positions, either putting physical stress on them or preventing them from having themselves. Some clench their teeth like lifting weights when trying to resist in some situations, not all mind you but enough. Some gags stop just shy enough to stop them from trying, but they try anyway. Some have a bit of resistance to push the jaw back, you waste energy and mental strength try to focus there instead of where you need to. Others are rings, some people like to play with the tongue or put something in. They need to give measurements and I need to know how long the sessions are meant to last. Rings can be made of metal, rubber, leather or some lesser materials. They get stressed too and can hurt some. They never listen or read the warning. Learned people like to play with the lips and tongue, I think they described it as making them a play thing. Our mouths depending on your background and teaching are special. You speak, eat and what ever. Someone takes ownership of it, you feel...lesser I think someone told me. Like you have become theirs, inch by inch as they take more from you or give back. Which brings me to the last one I make. One that's perforated. They can be soft or hard, allow drool to pass and they can have liquids added. Some increase your heart rate, not too heavily, just enough to help with breathing. Some have slow acting stamina potions, health potions things to make you salivate. A little salt, honey what ever you want. Just remember to support the head, hydrate, and take care of the straps. There can bend, stretch, twist, but just like people they have their limits."

Putting the book away, he brings out a few colored jars, feathers, pinwheels and brushes soft and hard bristle.

"now some of these can be used before, after or during. This red jar has oil that acts like a healing spell. Massage it into the frame where the stress is most apparent. Smoothes the area and relaxes the muscles, wear good gloves. The blue one, helps to remove the ability to feel things. Helps with dealing what you need to, once it wears off they'll know what they hadn't felt. it also can be used after your down if you're on friendly terms. Helps them recover, just make sure to watch of them. Massage the areas, elevate the right part and rest. Green one, helps boost the sensation. Not really much is needed to affect an area. Mix a teaspoon with water and apply. Use brushes to really get them. Let it set and have fun. Pinwheels can be effective, especially on softer areas. Find the pattern of trail that works for you and they'll break. Feathers can be useful. Soft or stiff blades can trace over the sensitive bits, the bits depend on you. Keep an eye for twitches and jumps. The quill can trace and poke. Uses it where you like. The smallest cracks can lead to big fractures and even bigger messes."

I can imagine him saying this to the victim as he prepares his tools, Patrick Bateman style lmfao

The victim nervous and struggling in their binds as he explains what exactly he’ll be doing

The victim waiting in anticipation and anxiety because they don’t really know what was coming

Anon you broke me 😭😭 I want this— dare show yourself in my dms?

[sagau-my-beloved]

Oh i'd be pissed royally if anyone had the audacity to hurt or even look slightly wrong at Venti 💀💀 could i get some headcanons about a very protective and posessive but also affectionate creator reader who's not afraid to off anyone (including the archons. Especially the archons) for venti?

Sagau Venti with protective reader headcanons:

Warnings: general sagau, manipulative behavior, obsession

-

• It's no secret that you hold a lot of power in Teyvat

• Your word is law, anything that you want will be obtained, no matter the means

• You're given ample space to be as cruel or merciful as you please, they would gladly take either

• Of course, that doesn't stop the very obvious feelings of jealousy, the intense desire to have your attention

• Anyone you show excess favor to will become a target of that, it's inevitable

• So a particular bard has to try very hard to ignore the intense stares of all your devoted acolytes as you dote on him yet again

• Running your fingers through his hair as he feels his body and mind give into your touch

• Venti is over the moon happy to be in your good graces, he would give up anything for it

• For you to not only acknowledge his existence, but actively seek him out?

• The euphoria he feels every second your hands are on him, every time you display some form of praise in his direction, when you giggle at how he can't help but fall to his knees to show his overwhelming devotion

• That's not to say he wasn't surprised at how all this seemed to play out

• Venti was so prepared from the beginning to lay his life down in order to protect you from anything, and it turns out you are actually protecting him more often than not—

• It's not as if your other followers scare him, as if any of them would ever deter him from basking in every second of your attention that you so graciously provide

• But he can't deny how they seem to provoke certain negative thoughts, lingering feelings of inadequacy

• Being called worthless so often, internalize how despised his nonchalant behavior has made him, how he can see it in everyone's eyes, the same judgment and desire for his fall from grace

• So when you just happened to walk in on Zhongli berating the poor guy for taking up all your time, for acting 'immature' and 'disrespectful' in your presence...

• Well, let's just say, you were quick to resolve the dispute

• "I'm not sure who I choose to spend my time with is any of your business." You spoke up, alerting both of them to your presence

• Fear and shame immediately flashed across Zhongli's face, unable to even stutter out an apology as he took a step back

• "In fact," you continued, taking a step forward as if to match him, "If anything, Venti really helps lighten the otherwise completely stifling atmosphere."

• That was obviously meant as a direct jab towards him, and Venti looked on at the scene with a mixture of complete shock and adoration

• As soon as Zhongli's dismissed, Venti's running into your arms, thanking you over and over for the praise, the divine intervention

• You might want to be careful though, Venti getting wind of the fact that he can pretty much do anything under your protection could lead to some less than desirable instances

• He's always perfect for you however, never a negative expression or word of anything but praise dancing across his lips as you continue to treat him so kindly

• But you better not start showing signs of favoritism towards anyone else

• Venti was never one for competition, and as much as he would hate to ruin the perfect image he has in your eyes, some sacrifices are necessary for the greater good

• The greater good being you continuing to touch him so sweetly, using the same gentle tone when referring to him, quick to verbally cut down anyone who has any sort of grudge against him

• Would you continue to praise him if you found more people insulting him? Would you come to his defence when the general townsfolk complain about what a nuisance he's being?

• He would take the disdain from a thousand people if it meant your love

• Venti's reputation already meant little to him, and what would be a more worthy sacrifice to his God?

[randoimago]

Can you do headcanons for a male s/o that’s taller than Chihiro, Fuyuhiko, and Kokichi giving them a piggyback ride?

Taller S/O Giving Them A Piggyback Ride

Fandom: Danganronpa

Characters: Chihiro Fujisaki, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, Kokichi Ouma

Type of Request: Headcanons

Notes: You got it!

Chihiro

Would be embarrassed about you giving him a piggy back ride, but if he has hurt his ankle or something then he'll deal with it.

Definitely hides his face in your back to try to hide some of his embarrassment.

Chihiro does enjoy giving you hugs or holding your hand, but being given a piggyback ride? It's not that he doesn't like it, it's just a bit embarrassing if it happens in public.

In private, he still gets a bit embarrassed but he's giggling more and enjoying the ride and how happy you are.

Fuyuhiko

Would not let you give him a piggyback ride. Are you kidding? 

He already has a hard enough time with his "scary mafia boss" image, he can't be seen being given a piggyback ride of all things.

Yes he gives you some affection and stuff because you're his S/O and he likes you, but he would not be happy with being given a piggyback ride. 

Would very much give you the silent treatment if you tried giving him a piggyback in front of other people (even in private he wouldn't be too happy about it, but would be more willing).

Kokichi

Kokichi would revel in the fact that you give him piggyback rides. Would yell your name randomly in hopes of getting your attention from wherever you are just so you can piggyback him around.

He does not care if anyone says anything. He's an evil secret organization leader and he's being given free rides wherever he wants by his S/O. Let people talk!

You're taking him somewhere and his signature laugh is being heard because he is enjoying the ride. Would gladly have full blown conversations with you too while you're going.

Might try tapping your shoulders to have you go a certain direction (right shoulder to go right, left shoulder to go left). Would find it funny to get a horn so he can honk if people are in the way. He's just being a complete menace.

[sugarbooger513]

Mine (Stepbrother!ChosoxFem!Reader)

This is my collaboration piece for @severelytalentless Are You Afraid of the Dark collab! I had a lot of fun writing this... work. I hope you guys enjoy it! Thank you to my very amazing friends who helped me out during this piece, especially my wifey @kentosovertime and my bestie @roughwithfluff. It wouldn't have ended up as well written as it did without the help.

Warnings: stepcest, possessive nature, unprotected sex (wrap your willies), oral (fem receiving), spit, Choso slaps reader in the face like once, he also slaps in another place, daddy kink, dom Choso, Choso is very petty, mentions of cheating ex, mentions of alcohol and nicotine consumption, degradation, praise, slight breeding kink if you squint

"Don't bother calling me anymore! I see what's more important to you.." You hang up your cell phone and throw it across the room. Your bed feels colder than it usually does, but you lay on it anyways, allowing your tears to flow onto your pillow.

Your boyfriend, now ex, of two years had called you with a plea, begging for your forgiveness. How could you forgive him, though? When you heard about your best friend sleeping with him, you couldn't get the image out of your head. You knew she thought he was attractive, but there was never a worry in your mind that either of them would take it anywhere.

You sit up, suddenly realizing that he would be on his way home from work in an hour, maybe two. You had to leave before he got home. It wasn't like you feared he would hurt you for leaving him, but he would certainly try to guilt you into staying with him.

Your heart rate increases when you realize that you have no idea where you can go. He knows all of your family, and is pretty loved by all of them. Your stepmom even has the habit of calling him her son. 'Her son...'

You rush to grab your phone, dialing the all too familiar number. If there's one person in your family you can call, it's the one he's scared of.

"Y/N," your step brother lets out a long yawn after answering, "what's up?" "B-bubs.." You can hear him drop something on his end. "Honey, why are you crying?" "He.. he cheated on me.. with her.. you were right.."

Choso bites the inside of his cheek, suddenly enraged at the thought. He never liked that guy. When they first met, Choso punched him in the jaw for being an asshole. You were mad at him at the time, but eventually understood why he did it. Since then, your ex was too scared to look Choso in the eyes.

Still, he now finds himself smiling.

"I'm so sorry, honey. Is there anything I can do?" Your sniffle makes him clench his fist. "He's going.. to be home s-soon." "Drive over here. I'll set up the guest-" "C-can you get me..? I don't want him tracking my car.."

Your pitiful voice goes straight to his crotch. Even though no one else is at his home, he finds himself trying to conceal his half hard cock with the kitchen counter.

"Of course, honey. Pack a bag. I'll be there in twenty." "I-I love you, Choso.. thank you." He has to bite his lip to keep from moaning. "I love you too, honey."

When he hangs up, he groans loudly and places his head on the cool marble. "Okay," he talks to himself aloud, "just.. keep yourself in control. You got this, Choso. She's your step sister, for Christ's sake." He shakes his head, grabbing his keys.

Still, he can't deny the things you do to him. It makes him feel terrible, but you're so damn tempting. He always figured that your hugs would last a little too long, your eyes scanned him a little too much, your hands lingered on him a little too suggestively.

He knew better, though. Your teenage years were spent on tons of dates with guys who were the complete opposite of your stepbrother. He would sit in his bedroom, no doubt on a video game, while he listened to guy after guy go in and out of your bedroom. It wasn't like you were a whore.

Those guys just eventually showed their true colors.

He knows that when you love, you love with your entire heart. That's why he was there for you through every heartbreak. He would hold you for hours, dry your tears with his own shirts, make you your favorite snacks, take you on long walks so you weren't cooped in the house all day.

Why? Well, because in his mind you already belonged to him.

You pace your living room, already holding your overnight bag in your hand. Of course, you'll probably stay with Choso more than one night, unless your dad tells you to stay with him and your stepmom instead.

Who are you kidding? If Choso offers to let you stay longer, you would much rather stay there.

Your front door opens, and you jump in fear that your ex came back early. "Shhh, honey it's me." "C-Cho.." Choso walks across the room in quick strides to pull you into his strong embrace.

His hands gently cradle you against his body. "He doesn't deserve your tears Y/N. Don't give him the satisfaction." "Y-you tell me that after every breakup, Choso.." "I know. That's because none of them deserve your kindness."

You close your eyes and feel yourself relax in his strong arms. He's never let you down. Choso has been the only guy in your life to prove he would always be there for you. You truly trust him with your life.

That being said, you can't ignore the feelings that have formed over the years for your stepbrother.

Your fingers grip his shirt in an attempt to pull him even closer to you. He sighs softly and buries his face in your hair. "Is there anything I can do for you, Y/N?" "Just... don't leave me. Please?"

His heart pounds in his chest at your feeble plea. His throat seems to dry, so he can't manage to speak. Finally, after what feels like an hour, he clears his throat.

"You know I won't, Y/N. I never have." "And never will?" His large hands squeeze your body a bit harshly, but your breath only increases at the feeling.

"I never will. Now, why don't we get you loaded into the car and get you home?" You finally pull away, blinking your still teary eyes at him so innocently. "Home..?"

The look on your face has his body on fire. You look so damn innocent, just like an angel. They're still red and puffy from your crying, but that only has him straining in his pants.

The things he would give to take the innocence from your face this second..

"Of course. My home is yours for as long as you need." He jingles his keys in an attempt for you to hurry and follow.

"What.. what about as long as I want..?"

That sentence has him blushing furiously. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course. You're family and I love you, so my home is yours. We should go though. I don't want to-" His sentence is cut short when you wrap your small arms around his frame.

"Cho.. you're the only person in my life that cares this much.." "Don't say that, princess. You know that isn't true." His large hands are so gentle as they rub your back comfortingly. The small action has your heart pounding.

It also has your core burning for more.

"I-I want to stay with you." "Princess, then why are we still here?" There's a hint of laughter in his teasing tone. "I mean.. stay with you." You bury your face in his broad chest, hoping desperately that he gets the hint.

And oh boy does he ever. He can't help the small groan that escapes his throat at the mere thought.

"Y/N.. you don't mean that." You finally look up, shocked at the tint of rosiness on his usually pale cheeks.

"I-I do mean it.. You're the only guy who has ever-" "I'm family." "Not blood. D-Don't act like you don't feel the same Choso!" His eyes widen, and your accusation has him backing away from you, causing your hope to falter. Had you been mistaken this entire time? Had the stares and lingering touches really just been his own way of showing platonic affection.

"Choso.. I-" "Am I truly that obvious, Y/N?" You blink once, twice before giggling softly. "Y-yeah.. have I not been?" "No. Your.. attention always seemed to be on others. I just assumed.. you saw me as your big brother." You shake your head, walking slowly to stand directly in front of him again.

You've always thought his eyes were gorgeous, a slight grey tint over the almost golden color, they truly are their own unique shade, but right now they seem even brighter.

"I.. I was scared. People would.. call us freaks if anything came of any attraction to each other. I mean.. we've known forever that we weren't related, but our parents have been married-" "Going on ten years now. Even dated for five years before that. Trust me," his hand reaches to touch your cheek gently, as if he's afraid he could break you, "I've been bouncing the pros and cons in my head for so many fucking years."

Your cheek fits so easily in his palm, as if it was made to be there. "So.. who gives a damn about the cons anymore?" His eyes darken at your words, suddenly not focused on your gaze, but your lips. "I don't think I do, Princess." He suddenly turns the two of you, pressing your body into the wall that was originally behind him.

His lips hover centimeters over yours, making you whimper pathetically. "Tell me what you want. I'll give it to you, Y/N." His lips turn at the corners, making the already handsome guy seem even more so. Your hands reach out, gripping the loose t-shirt he's wearing tightly. "I-I need you, Cho. P-please?"

"Well, why don't we take this little.. fiasco to my place?" "No." He tilts his head in confusion as you smirk. "Fuck me on his bed.. onii-chan."

His lips are on yours the instant that word leaves your mouth. Despite the fact you're almost certain that Choso doesn't know what lip balm is, his lips are so plush and soft. It catches you off guard, causing you to moan softly in his mouth.

He isn't shy about exploring your body either. His hands grab every bit of plushness they can. Your hips, thighs, ass, until he finally reaches your breasts. His hands squeeze them harshly, not caring about any actual pain he could bring. You gasp in the kiss, which allows his tongue to finally invade your mouth, easily taking over as the dominant one.

He tastes faintly of cheap wine and cigarettes, but that doesn't shock you. You've spent multiple nights in his room smoking and drinking after rough breakups.

You have to smack at his shoulder a few times before he pulls away, leaving a strand of saliva connecting the two of you. He lets out a deep growl before grabbing your arm to yank you upstairs.

He kicks the bedroom door open, not caring about possibly busting the damn thing. "I have waited for so fucking long," he shoves you onto the queen sized bed that you once shared with your ex, "to have you all to myself. Now that I have you..." He pulls the shirt over his head, causing your eyes to shamelessly wander over his toned body. He catches your gaze, causing him to lick his bottom lip in anticipation. "Oh I am never letting you out of my grasp now, little one."

You sit up and, without a second thought, throw your shirt off and into the floor. "A bit possessive, are we?" He chuckles a bit darkly. "I don't see you complaining. Besides," he rips your pants off in one fluid motion, purring at the dark spot already staining your panties, "it seems you know who you belong to." His head is almost instantly between your legs, his hands shoving your thighs open effortlessly.

He licks a long stripe up your covered slit, causing you to mewl. "Go ahead, princess, tell me exactly who owns you." This time he places a small kiss just over your clit. "F-fuck, you!" "Hmmm," his hand comes down to smack your pussy with an unnecessary amount of force. "Not good enough. Try again." He lands another smack, this one making tears prick your eyes.

"W-what do y-you want-" you cry out as he lands two more smacks on you. The pain is startling at first, but it quickly has you moaning in pleasure. "How about that fun little nickname you've given so many men that have entered your bedroom?" You squeak, making him chuckle. "Oh come on, there's no way you thought I never heard you. Always had the fucking nerve," another smack, this one even harder, "to cry out for other men while I was in my bedroom dreaming of making those pretty eyes cry in my bed. Come on, call me that sweet little name and I'll fuck you better than any of those assholes could have."

The last smack has you screaming, and you can't seem to care that any of your neighbors could hear. "D-Daddy! Y-You own me! I-it's always been you, I swear daddy! P-Please fuck me, I-I need it!"

He groans loudly before ripping your panties from your body. "I'll have to remember that you beg beautifully once I get you home." Two of his fingers spread you apart, and he smirks at the puddle of essence already pooling on the bed. "So fucking wet for me, aren't you?" He doesn't give you a chance to answer before he buries his face in you, eating you out like a man starved.

The sudden onslaught of pleasure makes you try and clamp your thighs closed, but one of his hands shoves it back down. His eyes look up at you as he continues to lap at your drooling pussy. The stare speaks every word he can't at the moment.

This is for his pleasure, not yours, and you're meant to lay back and take what he's giving you.

Your fingers tangle in his raven hair, and the slight pain has him growling against you. His lips wrap around your throbbing clit, sucking harshly, and he shoves two fingers into you without any warning.

You knew beforehand that Choso had slept with at least a few women, so he's not inexperienced, but you never knew that he was this experienced. His long fingers curl into you, pushing against the spot that has you screaming his name to the heavens. He has to rut against your mattress in a desperate attempt to get some sort of relief.

"D-Daddy.. I-I'm g-gonna cum.." He could already tell. Your walls sucked his fingers in as soon as they entered you, so he knew you wouldn't last much longer. "Hmmm," his sharp teeth nip your clit gently, but it still makes you squeak, "I sure hope you aren't telling daddy what you're going to do.. That would be awfully rude of you, little one."

The sheer dominance and control radiating from him has your eyes rolling in the back of your head. Since when was your sweet step brother so demanding? "C-can I please cum, daddy? I-It feels t-too good.." You feel that damn smirk against your clit. "Of course, baby. Just scream my name when you do it, okay?"

He really must not like you talking much, because he doesn't let you answer him before he starts ruthlessly pounding his fingers into your cunt. Your entire body arches from the bed as you cry out for him. It takes one last flick of his tongue on your swollen bud to have you writing in the bed, coming completely undone before he even pulled his pants off.

He slows down, but doesn't completely stop, allowing you to ride out your high as he uses his tongue to lap up every drop of sweetness pouring from you. "Good girl, I've got you sweetheart. Are you feeling up for more, or do you need to stop until we go home?"

He sits up, eyeballing your form as he licks his lips clean, ignoring the fact he's dripping your own cum from his chin onto you.

You giggle, still a bit spaced out from the intense orgasm. "W-want you.. inside me, please daddy?" He chuckles softly before reaching to finally unhook your bra and fling it to the side. "Of course baby. Where are your condoms?" "D-Don't have any. I'm on.. the pill." His cheeks flush a bit, but he doesn't question anything else.

He makes quick work of his sweatpants, leaving him in only his boxers. The outline of his cock alone has you snapping back to reality. When he pulls the boxers down, you outwardly moan when it slaps back against his abdomen. He's much bigger than any guy you've had before. Also, it's so.. pretty.

The shaft is a lot like the rest of his skin, a very pale color that almost shines if sunlight hits it. The head is a soft pink, very reminiscent of the blushes he always seemed to get if you teased him too much, with droplets of precum around it. A large vein runs from the underside of it, and you can see it actually throb the more he stares at you.

"See something you like, love?" You whimper at the very affectionate nickname. "I-is it going to fit? I mean.. I've never.." "Don't worry, little one," he gently lays you back, "daddy will get it to fit. If it hurts too much, just let me know. Okay?" he grabs one of your exes' pillows, placing it gently under your lower back. "O-okay, daddy. I trust you."

His smile warms your heart. "That's my good girl. Spread your legs for me." You nod, following his instructions immediately. His hand reaches between the two of you, grabbing his cock and gently rubbing the tip around your entrance. "You sure you want this, Y/N? I don't want you to feel forced." You whimper, nodding instantly. "P-please fuck me, Choso.. I've waited so long.." You spread your legs more, effortlessly enticing him.

When his tip enters you, you're already a moaning mess. It just feels too good. He watches your expressions intently as he slowly pushes into you, searching for any signs of discomfort. Once he's about halfway in, he stops completely.

"How you doin' baby? Any pain?" He leans down to give you a gentle kiss. "G-good. I-it kinda burns, but nothing bad, I promise." He smiles against your mouth and starts to push in again. "We're almost there, little one. Just- fuuuuck." He finally bottoms out, the stretch of it making you whimper loudly and wiggle around. He pants on your face, the scent of you still heavy on his breath.

"S-so fucking tight.. can't believe this is happening..”

He chuckles softly, giving a tentative thrust into your heat. You bite down on your lip, finding both pain and pleasure in the burn that courses through your body. "D-daddy-" He cuts off the rest of your sentence by leaning back onto his knees and grabbing the back of both of your thighs. He manhandles you easily into what you can only assume is a mating press.

"So easy to throw around, aren't you? My pretty baby.." He pulls out of you until only his tip is still inside before slamming back in, causing you to see stars. "You take cock like a pro, baby. I wasn't sure a cute little thing like you could handle it." You tighten around him at his foul language, causing him to growl. "I'm gonna ruin you for anyone else, baby. I'll make sure I'm the only one who can make you scream. You want that, baby? Want daddy to fuck the imprint of his cock into your slutty little hole?"

You throw your head back and cry out for him. "P-please! Make me your little toy, daddy. W-want you to own me.. prove who I belong to, please?" You know you've done it now from the way he snarls at you. However, the sudden ringing of your phone makes both of you freeze. He leans back up to wrap your thighs around his torso.

He's the first to reach to the floor and grab it, still buried deep inside of you. "Oh, lookie there.. a video call. Hello?" Did he-

"Choso? Where is Y/N? Why do you have her phone?" Your ex's voice sounds from the speaker, making your eyes shoot open. You meet Choso's eyes, mouthing the words 'hang up' over and over.

"What does it matter? She dumped you and called me." "Of course she did. Dude, let me talk to her." Choso chuckles darkly, finally thrusting into you, making you squeak loudly despite your best effort to stay quiet.

"What was that?" "Y/N. She's currently.. held up. Or.. down, rather." He smirks at his own joke, reaching down his free hand to start circling your clit with his middle finger. The feeling has you tightening your thighs around his waist.

"You... what?" "Are you deaf and stupid? I said she's busy, aren't you little one?" He smirks down at your form, panting and shaking your head in a desperate, silent plea. This can not be how everyone finds out about this. No way in hell.

Choso's mocking pout makes your face flare up. "She seems a little shy. Let me show you instead." "N-no! Choso I-!" The choking gasp from the phone call shuts you up. Choso's eyes show no mercy as he looks at you almost amused. "That isn't what you should be calling me, is it?"

You look directly at the camera on the back of your phone, your face a deep scarlet color. Before you can correct yourself, the hand that was idly playing with your clit launches up, smacking your cheek with enough force to have your eyes switch to his. He smirks and shoves his index and middle fingers in your mouth without warning, making the ring he wears clack a bit painfully into your teeth.

"Pretty little whore just needs to learn some manners. Don't you, love?" He gets a wicked grin seeing how you blabber around his digits, trying so desperately to behave and give him an answer. "Sorry, princess, I didn't quite hear you. Try again for daddy." He shoves his fingers farther down your throat, causing you to gag and cough. Spit pours out of your kiss bruised lips, making Choso moan above you.

Your teary eyes make him pull his fingers out, wiping the spit across your face. "Why didn't you tell me you couldn't speak? Silly little girl. Now, what should you be calling me?" "D-Daddy! I'm s-so sorry.." He groans, running his thumb down your bottom lip. He gently pries your mouth open before leaning over you, letting spit fall from his tongue into your waiting mouth. He purrs as you swallow it so obediently. "I know you are. You're such a good girl for me. Oh, he hung up." Choso chuckles softly and tosses your phone back to the floor.

"I believe that I have some work to finish, right baby?" Both of his hands grab your hips, surely leaving bruises, before he starts to mercilessly ram into your sopping cunt. Your throat is still somewhat raw from his fingers being in it not two minutes ago, but he's determined to pull every sound he can from you.

He slides one hand down, harshly pinching and rolling your swollen clit between two fingers. Your cries only encourage his ruthless actions.

"D-daddy I-I.. something.. something doesn't-" Your pleas are cut off when the hand on your hip actually lifts you off the bed, giving him enough access for the tip of his cock to batter into your cervix.

If you aren't sore tomorrow, he hasn't done his job.

Sweat drips down his forehead and chest as he growls deeply. "There we go baby. T-that's the spot. Cum for daddy, want you screaming until my name is the only t-thing you know." His hand starts slapping your exposed clit again, finally throwing you over the edge. When the coil in your abdomen snaps, you scream his name, raw throat be damned.

Choso hisses as you tighten around his cock, spraying his lower abdomen in your essence. "Sh-shit I-" His sentence trails off when he thrusts into you one more time, letting out an animalistic snarl as his own climax washes over him.

You can feel his cock throb as he unloads his seed deep inside you. The feeling makes you tremble and mewl. There's so much of it that it still manages to spill out, staining the bed sheets under you.

He's still panting pretty heavily when he slides out of you, careful in case you're still too sensitive. When you squeak, he reaches up to cup your cheek. "You did so well, baby. I'm so proud of you." You nuzzle into his hand, placing a small kiss in the palm. "Th-thank you, daddy. I-I'm so tired." When your eyes start to flutter shut, he carefully stands from the bed, shamelessly admiring your disheveled state. "I'm sure you are. Let me get us cleaned up. Then I'll take you home, okay?"

Your small nod is plenty of an answer, so he rushes to the bathroom to search for a rag. He takes only a few seconds to wipe himself clean before rushing back to your side. You wince slightly at the feeling of the cloth wiping you down. "Shhhh, daddy's got you baby. I'll be done in just a second." He smiles to himself as you visibly relax into his touch, allowing him to finish.

"You know," he chuckles as he helps you pull your clothes back on, "your dad is going to try and kill me." "Your mom is going to call me every name in the book." He nods in agreement, finally starting to dress himself.

"So.. should we stay quiet? I imagine shit-for-brain isn't going to, but we can play that off as him being an idiot." You bite your lip, weighing the consequences of either decision.

There's no doubt in your mind, you want to be with Choso. It's clear he's willing to do whatever you want, but from the look in his eyes, the answer is obvious.

"I'm not hiding it." He blinks at you in shock. "B-baby.. your repu-" You stand up, despite your legs screaming in pain. He's quick to rush over and pull you into his chest. "I don't care.. I love you, and I don't want to hide it anymore." You squeak loudly when he picks you up bridal style, holding you easily with one arm.

The kiss he gives you is soft and loving, full of nothing but his affection for you. "I love you too, Y/N. I want nothing more than to tell the world that."

He carries you downstairs to grab your overnight bag, and then out to put you in his car. He really refuses to let you do anything, since he even leans inside to buckle you up. Your protests have him laughing. "When you're with me," he kisses your lips after getting into the driver's seat, "you're the spoiled princess. Got it?"

The drive to his house is quiet. He holds your hand the entire time, stroking along it with his thumb, occasionally bringing it to his mouth and kissing each knuckle.

"Oh.. oh shit." "What?" You open your eyes from almost falling asleep.

Your blood freezes when you see what he's looking at. Your dad's car is already parked in his driveway.

Tags: @katgalle, @savonline

[ceyrann]

PAC 1 : Messages For You

A very first PAC by your local mochi, me.

Just pick one you’re most drawn to see what are the messages you need to hear? 

The original poems are by their respective authors. BUT the arts and translations are by yours truly. It all started with me picking the poems but Chinese poems can be difficult to translate for it to still remain poetic, so I decided to add in the image I connect with those lines.

The piles go from left to right. The last image (bottom right) is a clear explanation of the piles, so you shouldn’t be getting it wrong.

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it.

Decks used: Linestrider Tarot Deck, Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana),  Flower Petals Oracle Deck

Found your pile? Let’s go!

Pile 1

月出惊山鸟，时鸣春涧中                      王维——《鸟鸣涧》

The moon she shines; the birds surprised;

From the mountains in Spring, they chirp, they fly.

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I hear birds chirping. Not the noisy kind, tho. It’s like,,, a flock of birds chirping at the same time, forming one long, loud sound that resonates within the forest. The sound is loud, bright, and solid.

For this pile, I feel that y’all are probably steady and content with wherever you are in life right now. Y’all are smart, goal oriented, and more well balanced compared to the other piles I’ve done (oof). But also, y’all have gone through your downs, questioning why the universe wasn’t on your side. And y’all may also have been uhhh delusional (or daydreaming) too much at a certain point of your life.

To those who are satisfied with whatever you’re having rn, this pile is for you.

You’ve grown so much, fought so hard to reach where you are right now. I’m so proud of you. Keep going, keep growing; be unstoppable. Even if there are people who try to stop you, know that judgement will be waiting on them. You’ve learnt so much from your friends, now shine bright and show the world how great you are. Remember to hold on to your values, and the universe will work your ways.

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Pile 2

首夏犹清和，芳草亦未歇                      谢灵运——《游赤石进帆海》

Summer starting, fresh and anew;

Greens are growing, flowers still blooming

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This image gives me a very clean and clear feeling. Maybe a sense of loneliness and emptiness as well. You thought the clouds were there and you looked up, but you ended up being blinded by the light of the sun, not knowing how and where to look. 

To those who are seeking healing, who want a hug, who want company, this pile is for you.

Walking away from past hurts is difficult, especially if you’re still bitter over it. But you still need to move on. Heck, you can even run and hide, but you need to stop staying in places that will hurt you. It’s difficult, but you need to practice courage, albeit a little bit each day. 

You are also called to reconnect with your roots, may it be your family or loved ones. Talk to them, listen to them. They’ll definitely have messages for you, messages that will ring loudly in your heart. 

Focus on getting yourself back again. Manifest your want for inner peace, for release, and you will get it. Your soul wants to be whole again. It has been feeling empty because you have not forgiven. Write things down, fold them into a paper boat and let it sail. Let go of the burden in your heart, and write new things down to fill your heart with them. Seek balance, have balanced meals. And most of all, love yourself.

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Pile 3

秋菊有佳色，裛露掇其英                      陶渊明——《饮酒二十首》之七

Autumn blossoms with lovely colours,

flower in hand with its dew still fresh.

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For those who picked this card, I wanna give y’all a mug of hot chocolate and some hugs. I feel that y’all may be attracted to this pile cuz you want/need/crave the warmth the colours give out.

Have y’all been called impulsive, have you been getting into arguments, feeling burnt out from a one-sided competition with others? Are you feeling as though your life is out of balance? If yes, this pile is for you.

You’re told to not dwell too much in the past, or you’ll lose sight of your present and future. You’re called to realign your values, give yourself a realistic and practical aim. Get yourself a purpose and work towards it. Not for anyone, but for yourself. It’s alright to feel dejected and you wanna withdraw yourself, but you must remember to get out from the shell and step onto your new journey. Your life is not yours alone, and you probably will find more comfort if you could be there for others with willing hands and hearts. (I’m not asking you to be sacrificial, but some people are more towards the serving type, and you may be one of them. So try helping others, and maybe you’ll find content in it.) 

Most of all, remember to do yourself justice and get your life in balance. The cold is only temporary. Things will turn better when you light the fire (and set everything ablaze).

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Pile 4

淮南秋雨夜，高斋闻雁来                      韦应物——《闻雁》

Listen, the geese are here,

on this night of Fall in Huainan.

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I feel heaviness, unease. You know that things will be alright, but there’s still this unknown fear in you. It’s like you’re still waiting for a sign to tell you to move.

If you feel as though you’ve been stalling, you’re waiting for a sign from the universe, then this pile is for you. 

You are told to get moving. Prompto. It’s alright to feel fear and worry, but you still need to move. Baby steps are fine, just,,, don’t just stay there. You have to remember you are worth so much more, and that you deserve more. So why remain at the same place? You may have a desired image of how you look, and you deserve it. You’re worth it.

There will be chances knocking at your door, but you’ll need to stop being passive, stop procrastinating, and throw out your resume or CV. Don’t be afraid. You need to take the first few steps, only then opportunities will come to you.

You’ll go on a brand new, exciting journey. And the universe has your back. Rest assured and march on ahead. Remember to also show appreciation to those who helped you. Surround yourself with good company as they will help you to set healthy boundaries on this new journey of yours.

I am also excited on your new journey and I wish you all the best in it!

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Pile 5

冬日诚可爱，不如夜漏多                      鲍溶——《冬夜答客》

Winter is lovely, yet its nights are long.

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Firstly, the feminine energy in this pile is at its peak (three Queens and High Priestess say hi). I’m also… Hearing music boxes or wind chimes kinda sounds. It’s like glass clinking at each other lightly. It’s as though you can HEAR how clear the crystals are.

You’ve probably pulled yourself back from whatever that’s going around you. And you may have been a little too withdrawn cuz of betrayals? May it be people betraying you literally, or you felt betrayed cuz your expectations towards others weren’t met.

For those who are crying silently in the dark, this pile is for you.

You are called to find the missing piece in you. You need to believe in yourself that your tears are not weaknesses; your fears do not define you. Have more faith in yourself, try looking at yourself from your (real) friends’  point of view, how much they love you, how much they care for you, how they hope for the best for you.

You are so much more than you can think of, than you can ever imagine. Find your confidence, let your emotions be your shield and swords. However, Remember, that the sword isn’t for you to harm others, but for you to use it to free others from whatever that’s restraining them. Do yourself and others justice. Remember that you deserve love and happiness as well.

Song I had in mind as I was writing these down for y’all: Turbulence by ATEEZ. Give yourself a pat on the shoulder. You did well and I’m proud of you.

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Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did it! 

[kiwi-astrology]

Sun in the Composite Chart

The sun in a composite chart represents the ego of the connection. What is your guys goal together? Why does this connection exist?

->The composite chart works for all relationships (family members, platonic, romantic, work related, etc.). While there is potential with the energy, remember it is created mutually with time!

(ALSO! These are just my mere interpretations and observations as I have been researching/reading various com. charts of people I know!)

Aries: Aries sun in the composite chart is all about the thrill. This relationship exists because of the youthful energy you both possess when together. Your goal together is to seek fun and feel like a child again. I have noticed that this placement is found in a lot of younger siblings (with big families) or casual friends. This is a very lighthearted placement. There may be a tendency for the energy to burn out once the spontaneity ends.

Taurus: Taurus sun in the composite is all about comfort. This relationship exists to remind the parties to slow down and appreciate life. There is a very fond connection between the two, as well as mutual support. This tends to be a long lasting energy, even if people depart. These connections can become sensual as well.

Gemini: Gemini sun in the composite is all about friendship. This relationship exists because of the recognition each party has for the others quirkiness. Even in romantic relationships, this connection will be light and playful. There’s a lot of mental stimulation and exploration in these connections.

Cancer: Cancer sun in the composite is all about reassurance. This relationship exists so that both people know they have someone to protect them. There is a strong sense of comfort in cancer sun composites. The involved parties are very fond of each other and want to endlessly support each other.

Leo: Leo sun in the composite is all about the highest self. This relationship exists to boost the confidence of both individuals. With a Leo sun in the composite, the energy created is an illumination of the ego. Both people want to hype each other up and encourage growth. They want the best for each other.

Virgo: Virgo sun in the composite is all about lessons. This relationship exists to allow both parties to learn something new from each other. Ive noticed that there tends to be a comfortable distance between the two parties as they analyze each other. Nevertheless, they find the other intriguing and a topic worth exploring.

Libra: Libra sun in the composite is all about romance. This relationship exists to invite beauty and love into both parties lives. This is an ideal placement for romantic relationships, but it brings a sweetness to any connection. No matter what, both parties will always try to see the goodness in each other. They tend to be very flirty with their energy.

Scorpio: Scorpio sun in the composite is all about insight. This relationship exists to probe into the hidden areas of each other and heal. There is a raw vulnerability of Scorpio sun in the composite that brings comfort to the unknown. These people tend to share many secrets, but can sometimes keep things from each other on purpose. This occurs if one feels ‘taken advantaged’ of due to the inability to conceal darkness in these connections.

Sagittarius: Sagittarius sun in the composite is all about expansion. This relationship exists to remind the people of everything they overlook in their own life. The energy created appreciates the vibrancy of creation and new experiences. These people love to travel and try new things together. It’s an endless journey between the two.

Capricorn: Capricorn sun in the composite is all about ambition. This relationship exists to reach success and complete desired goals. These people create an energy of purpose that seeks to accomplish. This placement is very binding until both people feel that they have reached the desired goal. There are certain expectations in these relationships as they hold each other to a high standard.

Aquarius: Aquarius sun in the composite is all about acceptance. This relationship exists to express individuality and fully accept each other. There is a lot of zesty energy and the two may love to innovate/create together. There is rarely harsh judgement but rather encouragement to pursue grand visions.

Pisces: Pisces sun in the composite is all about healing. This relationship exists to ascend the parties into higher awareness. The people involved gain deeper understandings of themselves because of the other person. It’s like seeing right through any facade and nurturing the forgotten wounds. I have noticed, however, these relationships sometimes end with one person wronging or taking advantage of the other.

In the houses!

Composite sun in the first house deals with individuality. Appreciation for the others goals and egos is emphasized. Seldom do the parties attempt to change the other. This placement can sometimes indicate one person inspiring the other to create a stronger identity for themselves (if that makes sense lol).

Composite sun in the second house deals with security. There is a lot of power for one person to influence the other persons self-worth. The energy is steady and everlasting, as both people feel comfortable early on in the connection. The people involved can really raise (or hurt) each other’s self-esteem/confidence!

Composite sun in the third house deals with youth. Similar to Gemini sun in the composite, this placement is great for friendships. There’s a lot of communication and humor involved. These people don’t take each other seriously, but in the best way. I also find this placement indicates that the people involved begin to steal each other’s lingo/hobbies, it’s so cute.

Composite sun in the fourth house deals with family. This could indicate people that become apart of your family or who feel like family. Typically, these people care immensely for each other and the connection feels natural. The fourth house is the deepest part of life, so there is a chance to really open deep wounds (in a good or bad way).

Composite sun in the fifth house deals with creativity. The connections are great for working together on creative projects, or for creating fun memories. I’ve found that sometimes there’s comparison in the connection about clashing talents/egos. I’ve also found that the people appreciate the others talent. This placement reveals itself differently in all charts.

Composite sun in the sixth house deals with routine. It could be common for people to have composite sun in the sixth house to regularly see each other and work with each other. One thing I have noticed is a tendency for one person to put themselves above the other. It could also indicate one person helping another with mental or physical health.

Composite sun in the seventh house deals with lovers and enemies. This is such a powerful placement that manifests in such extreme ways. These people can almost feel like they’re supposed to be in a relationship. The people involved understand the others power and ultimately want to work with them or against them.

Composite sun in the eighth house deals with karma. There could be unexplainable reasons why you guys stay in a connection together, but you do nonetheless. This placement may indicate inheriting money from each other or feeling obligated to help one another. The people involved are probably fairly vulnerable with each other.

Composite sun in the ninth house deals with experience. The two will definitely learn a lot from each other, but especially through physical experiences! They will probably ask a lot of questions within the connection and have a goal of expanding their mind. A lot of teacher-student energy created. One person may try to get the other to do a lot of new things out of their comfort zone.

Composite sun in the tenth house deals with accomplishment. This placement is common in a lot of public/famous couples. Your guys connection will be hard to keep secret, and could involve a lot of other people. Being together may manifest an energy that boosts your own image or success. You guys may create a lot of grandiose goals together.

Composite sun in the eleventh house deals with awareness. This placement may bring many new thoughts or wishes into the pair’s life that they disregarded before. This is the one placement I couldn’t find a lot of physical examples for, which was interesting. However, expect growth with the energy of this connection and a newfound appreciation for humane and hopeful things.

Composite sun in the twelfth house deals with the subconscious. This is personally my favorite placement for the sun (in platonic & romantic relationships). A spiritual and everlasting bond ties the two together. This allows for intense healing and revaluations for both people involved. These two people tend to understand each other in a way others can’t, which is very powerful and intimidating. For the brightest planet that surrounds the ego to be placed in the darkest house that rejects ego is very symbolic and intriguing to me. This placement is definitely unforgettable. I’ve found that this placement in celebrity couples leads to a private relationship, but successful.

I hope these were insightful! I think using composite charts to see how certain relationships can work out (work, siblings, parents, friends, etc.) is really interesting! I’m not 100% good with this type of chart yet, but I have been doing a lot of research :)