#ts intruceit

[loganslowdown4]

Remus: I’m off to do something stupid!

Janus: Hold the fuck up—

Remus: :(

Janus: Not without me!

Remus: :D

[ronithesnail]

Havent done sanders sides stuff in a while

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

Wake up babes a new Janus/Remus ship name just dropped /lh

[theeverythingfanofeverything]

2021 vs 2023

2021

my drawing from 2021 vs the drawing I made rn

[vindicatedvirgil]

Sides+ Remus snaps them in mini skirts+reaction=?

at first i was really unsure of what to do with this. so i decided to make this just a fun little crack thing, i hope that’s okay.

includes: Prinxiety, Logicality, and Demus. lots of skirts.

---

Roman

Roman’s reaction to the skirt was exactly what Remus had expected. When the Duke snapped his twin into a red mini skirt, the Prince instantly twirled around, allowing himself to feel glamorous and wondrous. Remus couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the audacity of his twin, but allowed him to stay in the skirt for the rest of the day. He definitely made sure to mock Virgil for his reaction, though; the anxious side’s eyes were wider than he’d ever seen them and focused on the legs of the Prince.

Patton

Remus almost didn’t do it, afraid of how Patton (and the others) would react to the moral side being snapped into a mini skirt, but he decided to do it anyways. Once Patton was in the khaki miniskirt, though, his whole face lit up, and he snapped again to add some knee-high socks. Remus heard Logan choking behind him, and they all turned to see the logical side beet red and unable to stop looking at the chunky thighs of the father figure. Remus would make sure to get a proper thank-you from both of them, but that’d come later.

Logan

By the time that Remus got to Logan, the logical side saw it coming. The black mini skirt was perfect for tucking in the black polo, and Logan thought for a moment before snapping into black tights. Remus was a bit disappointed but not surprised at the development, but noticed later that Logan had been standing in front of a mirror for a while, admiring himself. Good, Remus thought. He needs to give himself more love.

Virgil

Frankly, Remus was terrified of what the anxious side’s reaction to the skirt would be, but he was already almost done with his trip around the mindspace and he really wanted to see his twin flustered at Virgil in a skirt. It was a dark purple skirt, and he was even kind enough to snap the stormcloud into some black knee-high tights, knowing that maybe he’d be appreciated for it. The sound that came from Roman’s throat was one that Remus really didn’t want to remember, but he liked seeing the blush and smile on Virgil’s face. He considered it a win.

Janus

“I know what you’re doing, Re,” the snake’s voice from behind Remus startled him, and he spun around to see Janus standing there, already in a yellow skirt to match the colors of his coat. Remus pouted a little, sad that he didn’t get to snap the deceitful side into a skirt, but he still stepped up to his boyfriend, his hands resting on the hips of the snake. “You’re not as awful as everyone makes you out to be, and if no one else can see that, I do.” The deceitful side dipped his head down, capturing Remus’ lips in a kiss; Remus, for once, did not try to stick his tongue down his boyfriend’s throat. Maybe later, he thought.

Remus

He stood in front of the mirror in his room, having recently cleaned the grime off of it so he could see himself properly. The skirt hung around his hips almost loosely, and he admired himself a bit, his hands running down his bare thighs. A lesson in love, perhaps. It was intriguing to him, using his intrusive abilities to help those around him feel more comfortable in their skin, to have their partners appreciate them a bit more than usual. Remus cracked a smile at himself in the mirror, then snapped his fingers, and all of the skirts melted away. 

Maybe next week he’d try dresses.

[sidespromptblog]

Remus, squinting at Logan: You... I like you.

Logan, with a ninja star sticking out of him: You literally just tried to kill me...

Remus, waving him off: Pffft naw, that's just how I show my love!

Janus, with a fork and a knife sticking out of his hat: It's true... Unfortunately.

[just-a-kitchen-utensil]

C1 and F5 with waves, any ship you want! (also thank you for the flowers)

Here you go, my beloved! :D

I didn’t see this in my inbox I’m SO sorry it took so long T^T

Link to palette/emotion challenge

[kay-spider]

Janus and remus aunt and uncle... together.. play ddr..

[bitchnuggettt]

If your version of Janus doesn’t look like this then I want no part of him I will never elaborate

[purplolart]

I uh... found a new obsession blog the other night.

@askdarksidelogan​

This last one’s more of a theory as to what’s to come, but eh whatever. (And also of course I find it in the middle of some angst. Idc tho I love angst)

[anyarally]

Sanders Sides Secret Santa Gift!

@sanderssidesgiftxchange

For: @authorgirl0131  Wish 1: Intruloceit Christmas fluff Wish 2: Sympathetic Deceit whump Wish 3: Logan and Deceit Christmas fluff Ao3 (it’s formatted better on there lol)

Janus, Logan, and Remus Have the Best Christmas Ever

Janus is upset after SvS Redux, so Remus and Logan try to help. Plus Christmas fluff!

We are ethically compromised if we give him a seat at the table

Snake

Liar

Rude

Spiteful

Jealous

Evil 

Villain

The Light Sides’ words haunt Janus every night, only getting worse once Virgil leaves. The worst part is… he knows they’re not lying. Every insult, every implication, every rude remark, every single one was true. At least, to those who spoke them it was. 

He sits alone in his room every night, Remus usually coming to check on him. Tonight, though, is special. Janus just fought with all the Lights, and told them his name! It was one thing when Remus did it, he’s crazy and unpredictable! When Janus does it… it’s serious. 

Remus knocks aggressively on the ornate gold door, “Hey, ‘Anus?! You wanna hang out some? We could decapitate some of Roman’s dumb unicorns in the imagination, I sensed some trespassing earlier!”

Deceit startles on his bed, throwing back the covers (which he really shouldn’t be under this early in the evening) and mumbles just loud enough to hear, “Not tonight, Ree, I’m too tired.”

“Is it because of something they said again? I told them not to get to you, just because we’re different doesn’t mean we’re bad.”

“It doesn’t matter, Remus, just go take care of those unicorns. Maybe tomorrow we can hang out, ok?”

“Oh, um, ok. See you at dinner?”

“I don’t know if I’ll be up to it. Sorry.”

“Alright, let me know if you need anything?”

There was no response. Remus sighed, slumping away to his room. 

This went on for weeks. Every day, Janus would come out for breakfast, unhinge his jaw and eat enough for the day, even though he used to eat the same as Remus(in moderation, he refuses to eat eyeballs and pubic hair). Eventually, after about two and a half weeks, Remus had had enough.

When Janus slouched into the kitchen for his daily meal, Remus slammed his hand on the table, “You are coming with me to the imagination!”

“No, Remus. I’m too tired.”

“Nope, nuh-uh, none of that ‘tired’ bullshit, you’ve said that every day for the last month!”

“Re-”

“Nope nope nope! Come with me!” Remus yelled, grabbing Janus’s arm with an unsurprisingly terrifying grin on his face. 

Remus dragged Janus to the sickly stone mirror with green ooze globbing out that leads to the imagination, the snake complaining and protesting the whole way. 

Once they got there though, none of the things that usually made him happy worked. When Remus had him attack Roman’s unicorns, he only said he didn’t want to make their relationship with the Light Sides even worse. They visited Janus’s giant golden two-headed snake, Eilonwy and Ethelinda, and Janus couldn’t even look her in the eyes(either set of them!). Remus even tried having him watch live musicals by sneaking into Roman’s side of the imagination, but it only reminded him of the movie nights everyone but the Dark Si- now, just Janus were invited too. Remus had stopped going, but still.

After the day spent trying to cheer Janus up in the imagination had no success, Remus decided to bring in the big guns. 

The next day, Janus surprisingly didn’t get any visits from Remus. Just one text of a .gif that was weird as hell. 

The day after that, however, Janus heard three precise knocks at his door, at precisely 9:00 am. He yelled out, “Remus! Just stop already! I’m fine!” The only response was another precise three knocks at his door at 9:01 am. He only grunted and curled into his heated blanket more, assuming it’s just another one of Remus’s dumb pranks. 

After three knocks every minute on the minute for half an hour, Janus caved and opened the door, immediately protesting, “Remus, I swear to Thomas, I-” he stopped dead in his tracks when he looked up and saw who he was objecting to, “Logan?”

“Hello, De- Janus. Remus informed me he was concerned about you, so I have come to see,” Logan pulled out his notecards, “What is up?” 

Janus chuckled, pulling the door open wider, “Okay Logan, you can come in.” 

Janus puts his hat on as they walk inside, Logan looking around and noticing so much clutter. From what Remus had told him, Janus was a very organized person, almost obsessively so. Plus, the room wasn’t very warm at all, which cannot be good for someone cold-blooded. 

When Logan comments on this, Janus simply brushes him off, saying he hasn’t had the time to clean up and his usual heaters would be a fire hazard with the mess. 

They sit on some large extravagant armchairs in front of a fireplace, Logan favoring the black one with gold beading while Janus takes the deep yellow one with shiny black beading. 

As they sit down, Janus lights the fire with a wave of his hand, trying (and failing) to subtly change his outfit into a clean one from his closet. Logan notices, but decides not to comment. 

“So, what did Remus send you for again?”

“Well he didn’t exactly send me, per se, I reached out to him because I hadn’t seen you in a while, he said he would handle it, then he got me when that didn’t work.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, of course. I tried to bring it up to the other Light Sides, but they would not listen. Therefore, going to Remus, and consequently, you, was the best option.”

“Wow, uh, thanks, Logan, I really appreciate that. I assumed none of the Light Sides thought about how things would make us feel.”

“Granted, that is a fair assumption,” Logan quieted down, facing Janus’s bookshelves and silently reading the titles he has, mentally comparing it to books he’s read. 

Janus wanted to question Logan about that, but decided to try and get to the point gradually instead, saying, “Logan,” said Side looked up at Janus, “I just want you to know that I’m sorry.”

This made Logan pause and think. After about fifteen painfully silent seconds for Janus, Logan started speaking again, “I apologize, but I do not understand. What are you sorry for exactly?” 

“For, ya know, the last video.”

Logan stares at Janus.

Janus groans, “You’re really going to make me say it, huh? Okay, I’m sorry for taking your place earlier in the video.”

“Oh. Yes. That.” Logan stops, trying to formulate a response, “It is quite alright, Janus. While I was a bit hurt in the moment, I appreciate you figuratively beating some sense into the others.”

“Are you sure that you’re actually alright, though?”

“I… well, I do wish you had simply told me.” After Janus sends Logan a questioning look, Logan adds, “I know I would’ve been happy to step down and even let you disguise yourself as me, you didn’t need to knock me out. With those two, it’s very… difficult to get them to actually consider things, I know that first hand, so I entirely understand why disguising yourself as me was the most efficient way to get through to them.”

“Oh, I… I’m so sorry Logan, I hadn’t even considered that. I’m just used to expecting a no, I…”

“As stated before, it’s quite alright. Besides, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

“What do you mean?”

Logan sighs, looking down at his shoes, “I should’ve spoken up sooner. About the Lights’ treatment of you, I mean. They were unnecessarily cruel to you, and I just stood by. I was… scared. I almost spoke up when Virgil hissed at you when you came to get your hat back from Roman, but I don’t know the whole story between you and Virgil, and I didn’t want to impose. Additionally, I…” Logan took a deep breath, doing a round of the 4, 7, 8 exercise Virgil taught them, “I was scared of being left out. I know I’ve said I don’t have feelings, but I was,” Logan chuckles, “deceitful, in that aspect.”

“Logan,” Janus seemed to be on the brink of tears of relief, “thank you so much. That means so much to me, I… hey, uh, would you want to come over for a movie night this Friday? I know movie nights with the Lights are on Saturdays, so…?”

“That sounds delightful,” Logan started to get up, “I will see you then. I apologize, but I must go. Thomas needs me at my best, I sense he’s about to start editing a new video.”

“No worries, Logan, I’ll see ya Friday.” 

And so, Logan came over that Friday, and the Friday after that. After weeks of being holed up in his room, Janus started to come out more often, and Remus was very happy to see more of him. Logan started coming over every Friday, and as time went on, he even started coming over more often just to enjoy Remus and Janus’s company. Sometimes, he would visit Remus’s side of the imagination with them, other times, he would exchange books with Janus and discuss them, and eventually, he would even start inviting Janus and Remus over to view the constellations with him as he explained them and showed them the stars with his telescope. 

This went on for months, and eventually, the Light Sides noticed. Whenever asked, though, Logan only stated he needed more time to himself. They laid off for a while, but eventually, it got a little suspicious, especially when they started hearing other voices coming from his room. 

Finally, Patton decided to investigate. He heard the voices in Logan’s room while getting him for famILY dinner, and leaned up against the door before knocking. 

“And here you’ll see MACS 2129-1, often referred to as the ‘Zombie Galaxy,” Logan happily explains.

“Oh fuck yes!” Remus yells, in turn causing a chuckle to emanate from Janus. 

Logan chuckles as well, “Fuck yes indeed, Remus,” Patton gasps almost involuntarily but stays quiet enough so no one notices, “This massive, disk-shaped galaxy spins twice as fast as the Milky Way does, but it's still not nearly as active. Hubble observations of the distant galaxy reveal that it hasn't made stars for approximately 10 billion years. MACS 2129-1 is what's known as a ‘dead galaxy,’ since stars no longer form there. Scientists believed that galaxies of this sort had formed by merging with smaller galaxies over time, but MACS 2129-1's stars didn't form from these sorts of explosive mergers; they formed early on, in the disk of the original galaxy. The findings suggest that dead galaxies somehow internally rearrange their structure as they age rather than changing shape because they combine with other galaxies. I, er, I’m sorry I’m babbling, aren’t I?”

Janus shushes Logan, “No, Logan, we’ve been over this,” Janus gently places his hand on Logan’s slowly reddening cheek, “We love to hear you talk, especially about things that make you happy. Isn’t that right, Remus?”

“Hell yeah, Lo! I love hearing you get so excited about stuff, and I love learning about the stars with you, you’re a great teacher!” 

By now, Patton had decided he didn’t want to intrude, he was proud of his kiddos. Logan, for reaching out and making more friends, and Janus and Remus for making Logan feel loved in a way that Patton just couldn’t seem to. He leaned back from the door and walked by, deciding to text Logan to let him know about dinner so he could come if he wanted but he didn’t have to cut his time with the Dark Sides short. 

Meanwhile, Logan looked down at his phone and sighed.

“What is it, Lo-Lo?” Remus tilted his head so far to the left his head broke off.

As Remus smacked his head back in place, Logan sighed, “Patton says dinner’s about to start. I really should go.”

“You don’t have to, Logan, you know that right?”

“Yes, I’m aware but I haven’t gone all week and I’m concerned the Lights will think I’m not eating at all. I wouldn’t want Patton to get… upset.”

“Okay, okay, we all remember when Patton went all Hop Pop.”

Logan looked at both of them again with a small, but genuine, smile, dropping it as he sank down to the Light Side’s dining room. 

Dinner was… awkward, to say the least. 

Patton tried to break the ice, “So, Logan, you’ve been spending a lot of time in your room?”

There was a long, long pause.

“Apologies, I now realize that was a question. I assumed it was a statement. Yes, I have been spending a lot of time in my room.”

“May we ask why?” Roman sarcastically asked.

“I find that I’m more productive when I stay in my room.”

“Well, I’ve heard some other voices coming from your room…” Patton hesitantly added. 

“What are you insinuating, Patton.” Logan harshly said, not asked, eyes harsh and cold.

“Well, I, uh-”

Virgil gently cut off Patton’s scrambling, “You know that we won’t be mad if you want to hang out with Remus and Janus, right?”

“Right!” Patton started, “We were actually talking about it some earlier, and we’d love to start having them over for famILY meals too!”

Logan raised an eyebrow, “Is Roman on board with this?”

Roman sighed, “I may have some issues with my brother, but a true prince wouldn’t stop other relationships from forming just because he didn’t like the other party. I know Remus, and he won’t hurt you,” he thought back to the shuriken, “well, not permanently at least.”

Logan smiled, the first genuine smile he had shown the Light Sides in months. “I can tell them.”

“Wait, Logan,” Logan looks back at Patton, “Christmas is this Friday, and well I can’t think of a better day to expand our famILY!”

Logan chuckled, “I’ll let them know,” he started to head back to his room but paused and turned to look back at the Lights, “Oh, and I’m staying with them on Christmas Eve. Apologies.”

“No problem, Logan! Thanks for letting us know!”

Once Logan got back to his room, he gave the Dark Sides the news. “Remus, Janus, I have some news.”

Remus popped up from where he was looking at his newest dagger under Logan’s covers, “Oooh? What is it, Wolverine?”

“Patton, and subsequently the other Light Sides, have invited you two and I to a famILY meal on Christmas,” Logan noticed how Janus and Remus’s eyes lit up but ignored it in favor of finishing his announcement, “I have informed them that I will be with you on Christmas Eve.”

Janus smiled, “That’s great! So, you told them about us?” Logan sat at his chess table with Janus, “Well, technically they guessed, but yes. They asked about me spending time in my room, then stated they did not disapprove of our… relationship, I suppose.”

Janus smiled, “That’s great, Lo.”

That Christmas Eve, the trio sat around the fireplace in the Dark Side’s living room. They cuddled together under a Big Hero 6 blanket while watching Die Hard, which they all of course agreed was the best Christmas movie. They had stayed up pretty late, and once the movie was over, Remus started excitedly jumping up and down, “It’s after midnight! It’s officially Christmas!”

Logan sleepily checked his watch, “You are correct, but I do not see how this is currently relevant?”

“Now I can give you guys my presents!”

Remus kept bouncing on the balls of his feet until Janus happily sighed, “Alright, what did you get us?”

Remus squealed, “I’ll show you!” while running to his room.

Janus and Logan chuckled together until Logan spoke up, “I, ahem, got you gifts as well. Would it be adequate for me to go get them?”

“Sure, I actually got some for you guys too. We’ll all go get them and meet back here.”

Logan smiled, nodded, and sank out.

When they all returned, they all had light blushes on their faces. “Who would like to go first? In handing out their presents, that is.” Logan awkwardly asked. 

“I do!” Remus excitedly shouted. Logan and Janus were very much not surprised, and they all sat down on the carpet in front of the couch. 

Once they were seated, Remus yeeted the presents at their recipients, both of which catching their present with ‘oof’s. 

Janus ripped his open to reveal a long black cape with golden lining. He was about to start thanking Remus for the warm fabric when the clasp on it caught his eye. He looked closer, seeing a beautiful silver clasp depicting a snake and eight tentacles wrapping around a unicorn. Not trapping it, it felt more like… hugging. Protecting. He flipped it over to see an engraving, ‘J.L.R.’ “Thank you, Remus! I especially like the clasp, and the warmth and style are both surprisingly practical!”

Logan respectfully undid the poorly done tape and placed the wrapping paper to the side, opening the box to see some soft black and white fabric. When he took it out of the box and unfolded it, he saw it was a new unicorn onesie, this one black with stars instead of white, with a rainbow horn, lining, and wrists. Logan started to tear up, holding it back when he addressed Remus, “Thank you, Remus, this is… perfect.” 

Despite how calmly it was stated, Janus and Remus both knew how much something had to mean to Logan for him to call it perfect.

Logan went next, getting Janus a new heated blanket with his yellow two-headed snake logo on it, which he loved. Next, he looked at Remus, “So, I did some research, and I got you something. But before I give it to you, I require confirmation that you will not use this on another side.”

“Ooo! Is it a torture device!?”

“Yes. But you cannot have it until you at least promise me that you will not use this on another side. You can use it on as many of yours or Roman’s unsuspecting imaginary townspeople as you wish, but not. A. Side.”

“Jeez, Wolverine, I promise, okay?! Now gimme.” Remus made grabby hands at Logan.

Logan reached behind his back and emerged with a metal dark grey and green pear-shaped object. He holds it out to Remus and he grabs it, “Remus, this is a Pear of Anguish. The first known account of one is in the 17th century, and it is operated as so,” Logan gently pulls the device back from Remus’s hands and twists the circle at the top, making it pop out into expanding segments, “This simple pear would be placed inside the orifice of a person and then gradually expanded. The kindest use was in a person’s mouth where it would ultimately shatter the skull, causing death. More gruesome is when it was used on parts in the lower half of the body which was rarely fatal, but excruciating.” 

Remus giggled at ‘lower half of the body’ “Thank you so much, Logan! I can’t wait to try this out, you’re the best!”

Janus went last, giving Remus a silver tentacle-themed ear cuff, which he enjoyed very much, putting it on right away. Next, he gave Logan a gigantic telescope with stars and math equations all over it, with Logan’s logo big on the side. Logan teared up at the thoughtfulness and hugged Janus tight.

The three ended up spending the whole night and day following snuggling together watching cheesy Christmas romcoms, and drinking hot chocolate. 

That evening, on the Light Side of the mindscape, the Lights once again did a Secret Santa. Sadly, Janus and Remus weren’t included since their attendance was decided so late, but Patton made sure to get them each something.

Logan got Roman this year, so he got him a journal full of prompts in which he could write, draw, or brainstorm. Patton got Logan, and he made him a bunch of cupcakes with the Logan’s Berry Crofters Jam, which Logan was eternally thankful for. Roman got Virgil, and he got him a grey weighted blanket which he altered by sewing on purple plaid patches with white thread to match the emo’s hoodie. Virgil was thankful he got Patton, getting him a better gift than before by hand sewing small toys of all of them, sheepishly adding he’d make Remus and Janus too “I guess.” Patton got Remus a stuffed animal of a green octopus with a mustache and he got Janus a stuffed animal of a yellow snake with a bowler hat that had a small heater inside.

Everyone loved their gifts and had a great time, but Logan couldn’t decide what his favorite part of that Christmas was; unwrapping presents with the Dark Sides at midnight or eating Crofters-filled cupcakes with them late Christmas night when all the Light Sides had gone to bed.

[loganslowdown4]

Patton: Brr, I’m a little chilly.

Roman: Here, love, take my jacket.

Patton: Thank you, angel!

Remus: *looking at Janus* Uh, yeah, I’m feeling cold myself JanJan!

Janus: Remus, darling, you literally set fire to your jacket, yelling that God herself didn’t control how you felt temperature-wise, and the weather was all in our minds. I mean this as a lesson, baby, suck it up—

[crofterscryptid]

remus finding an itty bitty snake in the imagination and going “janus is that you?” and proceeding to have an entire conversation with it only for janus to show up and remus just goes “...oh”

[fae-redux]

im stuck on you

S: People usually find their soulmate by following their heart (the closer you are to your soulmate, the warmer you’ll feel). Remus has been pining for so long, he doesn’t know how to handle himself.

P: dukeceit

happy birthday, @littlemisschameleon!! it’s corona and i can’t give you a physical present so have some dukeceit soulmate au!! i hope you like it :D (here’s an ao3 link if yall like that formatting better)

***

Remus sends the letter because Roman’s teacher thinks a penpal will help him learn English. Also, because Roman thinks it’s stranger danger and won’t. 

If he gets kidnapped, at least there’s a chance for his heart to feel warmer whichever direction his kidnapper goes. Fact remains, he’s freezing and bored and he’d do pretty much anything to not be.

He neglects to say that in the letter. 

His penpal instead receives the gift of approximately two full pages of fun facts about different species of mushrooms and how fast they can decay different animals. It’s pretty well written, if he says so himself, and it’s all in English because he’s polite, not because it has to be.

Any who, Ms. Andrea says she’s not going to read the letters before they’re sent, and Roman is only required to send one at a time, so Remus signs it with his own name and lets it go.

He doesn’t expect the letter he gets back to be so nice.

His penpal’s name is Janus and he doesn’t like to eat mushrooms unless they’re in fried rice, but he loves how mushrooms look.

There are little mushroom doodles that line the bottom, along with a few snakes, which Janus goes on to say is because they’re his favorite animal because of the way they unhinge their jaws.

Remus has never wished to be in the same school as someone more.

***

The next letter they write to each other includes their emails, and Remus takes full advantage of it to send Janus all the deadliest snakes he’s found out about in the library, and includes a pain scale with human accounts of getting bitten.

Janus sends back a heart and fun facts about the deadliest octopi in the ocean. 

He feels his heart get slightly warmer when he hugs the monitor, and when he loudly proclaims he found his soulmate, he gets a laugh from Roman.

He asks him what his plan is here, and Remus tells him to shut his fuck and keep his nose out of it if he doesn’t want to get smacked.

***

When they’re old enough to have phones, they exchange cell numbers, and Remus gets daily updates instead of sporadic emails.

He finds out that Janus likes to dress a little more on the punk side and that he wants a million tattoos as soon as he’s old enough. Janus tells him about foster homes and how he thinks he might be sticking with one of the other kids he met who is a little older than him, but is sort of like him. 

Janus is smart, smarter than anyone he’s ever met in real life, and he wants to go to law school because he knows he can talk his way out of hell if the devil asked him to try, and Remus is inclined to believe he could do it if he wanted to. He thinks through all his words, his every movement, ten times before he follows through, unlike Remus’ zero-thought policy.

He learns that Janus likes boys, but there aren’t really other people in his hometown like him, and that he wants to study in a big city someday so he’s not so alone. 

He learns that Janus wants to keep talking to him forever, or at least that’s what he tells him.

Remus in turn tells him about his brother, and their origin story. He tells him about how everyone else just seemed to have grown out of curiosity and how he feels out of touch with other people his age sometimes. 

There’s still a part of him that feels like he’s been touching all the stars in the sky, but none of them have set his orbit quite right, leaving him drifting endlessly.

He tells him that he might like boys too, but he doesn’t really want to tell his mom because she already rags on him for everything else, like wanting to go to art school and his knife collection and how he’ll never meet his soulmate with an attitude like his. 

He doesn’t tell him about the small seed of doubt in the back of his head that Janus won’t want to stay if he ever meets him in real life. 

He tells him he wants to keep talking forever too.

***

They don’t ever talk about meeting in person. For the first time in their lives, they’re in the same city, but every time he goes to bring it up, seeing a picture of Janus in the financial district, or near his favorite Starbucks, something makes him hesitate. 

Remus wants it so bad, it feels like all the air in his lungs isn’t real sometimes, or like something cut up his insides then spooned all the pieces out to replace them with ice. Still, the thought lingers in the back of his mind that Janus hasn’t suggested it for a reason. 

They still talk all the time though, whether it's to rant about professors, or homework, or siblings, or just about something they saw recently.

Janus tends to hyperfocus on cases he works on in his internship sometimes, and when he’s allowed, he tells Remus all the gory details and grins when he revels in the fun, while also giving valuable insight that contributes to his defense.

Remus in turn sends him the paintings that don’t involve Janus’ face and stupid selfies he takes at random food carts around school that are rumored to give you instant food poisoning. 

He makes sure to send progress updates on the projects he really feels good about and sends him updates on Roman and his new trends, whether they be six second dance videos or random quotes he’s said to him of varying hilarity based on how stupid they are.

The longer he lives in the city, the more Remus knows his heart feels warmer. He’s been feeling it since the start of the semester, but he hasn’t said anything yet, at least not to Janus. Roman is free game, though:

“Roman, I swear to everything fuckable within a ten mile radius, he probably goes to the same college as me,” Remus groans, his feet propped up on the back of the couch as he lies upside down. “I get warmer every time I go to campus.”

“There’s a million colleges in New York, so he really might not be,” Roman says reasonably, doing his eyeliner in the hall mirror. “Besides, he’s pre-law, right? There’s no way.”

“You’re just being uppity because you fricking met your soulmate on campus,” He responds grumbling.

“You’re right, I am. My soulmate’s a genius and I am very lucky to have met him when I did,” His twin’s pride infects the room, and he throws one Roman’s unnecessary couch pillows at him. “If you make me screw up my eyeliner, I’m going to run you through with one of your stupid wall-katanas.”

“They aren’t stupid, and I’m never going to see him face to face at this rate, so you might as well,” he snipes back, his purely decorative wall-mounted katanas be damned.

Roman raises an eyebrow, as if his mocking will affect Remus at all, “I’ll be back in like three hours, then you can mope your heart out, okay?”

He gathers his things from the hall table as Remus yells at his retreating back, “I don’t mope, I’m not you!”

“No, you’re not, and that’s why you don’t have a hot date tonight!” he hears as the door shuts.

He wishes he kept the pillow to suffocate himself with.

***

When Roman knocks on Virgil’s door, he doesn’t expect the person who answers the door to be so familiar, and he’s sure the answering party doesn’t expect him either.

“I thought-Sorry, I thought my roommate’s soulmate was coming over,” Janus says, a flash of recognition in his eyes, completely stunned in a way Roman has never heard while listening in on his brother’s phone calls. 

“Yeah, no, I’m here for Virgil. Janus, right?” And at the immediately suspicious look goes, “Oh, for fuck’s sake, you send my brother at least five selfies a week, and he agonizes over your beauty for ages after every single one, you have to know I would recognize you on sight.”

“....Roman?” he asks, like he doesn’t actually know what was going to leave his mouth when he said it.

“That would be me,” Roman just goes for the back of his neck, before wincing at the Remus-like gesture. “So, uh, Virgil?”

“Yeah, yes!” Janus opens the door fully so fast, Roman almost expects him to run himself over, “Do come in. Would you like anything while you wait? Water? Tea?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Janus hovers for a moment like he’s going to say something, but bites his lip instead, “Want to know how my brother is doing?”

He shifts elegantly, though his chains rattle, making the adjustment more obvious, “Of course not, what do you take me for?”

“A liar, you definitely want to know how he’s doing. Well, you’ll be happy to know he lives fifteen minutes away,” Roman grins, “And he’s home alone right now, pouting about wanting to see you, if you wanna go over.”

“It would be rude to leave you unattended in my home,” Janus replies, his voice strangled. “Arrangements can be made to get Virgil to hurry up.”

Leaving the room in a swift movement of leather and metal, Janus nearly vaults the couch in his haste. Roman can hear him yelling at Virgil to “Hurry up, you nasty, spider-pet keeping bitch,” and his soulmate’s yells to “Get out of my room, you tattooed skank!” Then an offended gasp, “How dare you?” and the snarling response, “You barge into my space and-”

“You hooked up with my soulmate’s brother-”

”Who is my soulmate, idiot!”

“Would you just-”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

Janus leaves the room and, in Roman’s line of sight, straightens his shirt as if he’d just been in some sort of scuffle. “Virgil will be out shortly, if you wouldn’t mind giving me the address.”

“You two are going to be related if you marry my brother, you know?” Roman grins as he puts the address into Janus’ phone.

He takes the phone back and rolls his eyes, “We were fostered by the same family. We really can’t get any closer, but I’ll keep that in mind.”

“We were adopted by the same person, Jan, why do you always conveniently leave that part out?” Virgil grumbles as he enters the room. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and be safe.”

Janus sniffs turning up his nose, “I’m going to get violently murdered before I even make it there,”

“Don’t test me, I will put off this date,” he pushes Janus’ head forward so he can’t look up at them. “Be safe, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Janus mumbles, fixing his hat and his chained belt, “Do I look okay?”

“My brother is a trash rat,” Roman responds, louder than he means to, “You will look like a model next to him and you will constantly get questioned as to why you’re in a five foot radius of him.”

“So, good?”

“Fantastic,” Roman confirms. “Now have fun.”

Janus double checks his pockets for his phone and his wallet, and then he books it in the direction of the twins’ apartment.

***

For the first time since he moved in, Remus feels himself getting warmer by the second. It’s not as though he’s moved from his spot going over every single thing that could currently be going wrong at Roman’s date, but somehow, his heart is pounding like he has.

“What do you see?” He asks it, vaguely aware it can’t actually respond. Either his soulmate just figured out where he lives, or there is something extremely important happening in the city.

Picking up his phone to check, it lights up with a text from Roman reading ‘Sending a pick-me-up your way,’ but he has no idea what it means.

After two minutes of constant heat, he searches for major events happening nearby. Nothing.

Five more minutes pass, and he thinks he might die young to a heart attack.

There’s a knock on the door.

His self preservation instincts must be completely nonexistent at this point because he yanks the door open with a knife in his hand and freezes. There, right in front of him, is Janus, who he thought he’d never see, and who was always too good for him, and yet, perfect for him in every way and, “I could have accidentally killed you with one of my many wall-hung weapons because you didn’t knock like Roman,” and that is the first thing he chooses to say to his soulmate.

“I wouldn’t have appreciated the trip to the hospital after I just sprinted over half a mile to see you,” he pants a little, “I know we didn’t talk about it, but Roman showed up at my door, and I knew you had to be nearby, and I just-”

Remus yanks him forward into his arms, and sighs in relief as the heat abruptly goes away, “Mr. I-think-everything-through needed to be impulsive, huh?”

“Yes,” Comes the fervent response as he clings to Remus’ body. “I missed you.”

“I thought you didn’t want to meet up. We didn’t even-”

“I know,” And Janus’ mouth brushes his cheek, just barely, because he’s not tall enough to reach, and Remus bends down, and kisses him soundly on the mouth, the feeling running through his body like a new kind of heat and comfort, and it feels like he’s done it a million times, even if it’s the first time.

Breaking apart, he notices they’re just standing in the doorway of his apartment. “Come inside, sweetheart,” He wiggles his eyebrows salaciously, Janus bursting into laughter as he pushes him back. 

“Nope,” He grins fondly, and this is the first day of the rest of their lives, it hits Remus, “I think I’m going to cause problems on purpose.”

“Fair enough, honeybee,” He tugs at the yellow cuffs of Janus’ leather jacket, pressing a kiss to a tattoo at the edge of his hairline, “Want me to carry you? Roman did say he was sending a pick-me-up, and I can definitely pick you up.”

He’s giggling, Remus delights as he scoops him up, kicking the door shut behind them, “If you call me one more pet name, I will combust, and you will have no soulmate to be with, is that what you want?”

And he says what he wants to say, because Janus has never once cared about the shit that leaves his mouth, “Biscuit, I’ve waited so long to see you, even death couldn’t keep me away from holding you.”

Janus pushes into him and kisses him again, putting a hand in his hair, tugging slightly to get the angle he wants, “I wouldn’t want it to,” Then after another kiss, “Love you.”

Remus sighs into his mouth, his world aligning so he could be the orbit to Janus’ sun, the whole system correcting itself. “Yeah,” He holds him just a little bit tighter, “Love you, too.”

[ethanoic-acid-boy]

The ship name for Patton Remus and Janus is now Penus and no-one can change my mind.