#ts is gonna chip immediately

[catsticky]

the side of my shoe keeps ripping open even so i made it look like a wound ^_^

[crystalcow]

𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑//𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝 𝑝𝑡 4

Masterlist // child reader ML //

Sapnap x reader !p !child reader

Pronouns used: none specified!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, casinos

➳➳➳➳➳┄┄※┄┄➳➳➳➳➳

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝗼𝐤𝗼 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝗼𝐰??

Quackity was telling you all of his plans

He rambled on for hours of his ideas for casinos and how he was going to marry Karl and sapnap

It sounded great

He had his whole plan set up! He even had Sam helping him with the building

But then he left

Just like everyone else

But that was fine! You were just with sapnap

Before Karl came running over rambling on about needed to move his library

He had a library?

“[Redacted] you need to stay close, please”

You looked at him weirdly

Who the fuck was [redacted]

“Karl my names Y/n you idiot” “flame..” “sorry”

He didn’t even notice it and then you had to spend the next couple days hauling over 100 books

“Oo hey what are these! The covers look really weird”

You had found his time travel books

Woops

That man raced over and in the kindest way possible, snatched it from your hands

“Don’t touch those, they are my special books”

You just shrugged and let him be, he freaks you out enough

So you all traveled to this area in the spruce forest and built a really ugly mushroom hut

But hey it’s fine! Foolish thankfully came around later that day and made everything better

So you stuck around

Maybe you needed this, this new start

Oh but prime knows that wouldnt last long

Karl started forgetting

At first it was simple things as just forgetting where he was or little stumbles with names

But eventually he was going away longer and longer

He started calling you by these strange names, some that sound Victorian and western and others that are unlike you

One day he didn’t call you by your name at all

You were hanging around the Sakura trees and the big yin Yang pond waiting for sapnap to come back with George

Then you saw Karl exit the library, running up to him for a hug

It’s been two months since you’ve seen him

You fucking hated it but you couldn’t help but consider him another parental figure

He loved it

But he just stood there as you wrapped your arms around him

Expecting the usual “[reda]- Y/n, I’ve missed you so much my sweet flame!”

But there was nothing just a sad one sided hug

“Hello? I’m sorry but do I know you?”

You were ready to cry

“I’m sorry, I uh must’ve mistaken you for the wrong person” “No that’s fine! Hugs are nice?”

So you left and ran into the library

Scouring throughout all of the books until you found them

The same 8 books you shrugged away

You read through all of them along with Karl’s other journals

You didn’t like going through his stuff especially, a whole invasion of privacy

The more you read the worse it got

What were you gonna tell Sapnap?

Who the hell is James, and [redacted]?

And why couldn’t he stop

It’s no use anymore

You were simply just forgotten

𝐋𝗼𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐬

The closer you got to the large building, the sicker you got

Kinoko Kingdom was supposed to be your free pass

But somehow you always end up here

You called for Sam on the comms waiting for the beep

The inside looked great to say the least

“What are your past relationships with the prisoner?” “No answer.”

“Where are you currently resided?” “No answer”

“Do you believe the prisoner deserves his sentence?” “Maybe”

You put all your shit in the locker and followed him through all the safety checks

“I’m glad you didn’t bring anything with you”

You stood on the platform heart racing as the lava went down

It was like a ticking time bomb

The small squeaks and scratches of the hovering bridge

He just stared at you

That sick stupid mask was broken by tommy that day in the black stone room

So you had to look into his face

Lets just say he looks good in Orange

“Barrier up or down?” “Down”

He backed up into the corner as you stepped in

Smiling

Once the lava cascaded down your smile turned into a sick frown

“Hello” is that all he had to fucking say?

“Screw you. Fuck you. Damn you”

He just looked you a small chuckle escaping from his lips

“Those all mean the same thing.” “Well I’ve been living in cinnamon town for the past couple months, and I’m ready to fucking burn some buns”

Yeah he just laughed

“I’ve missed you Hot shot”

“You ruined our damn life!”

Someone went quiet

“If you didn’t have to have a petty little war, or criminalize children we could’ve been fine! It could’ve just been you, dad, me, and George.”

You were pissed, everyone just kept leaving you.

Tommy and Tubbo, Quackity, Karl, Dream, and hell even Wilbur

“You come and visit me, after not having seen me for months and you just yell? Not a hello or ‘how are you dream?’ ‘How’s prison dream’ ‘how can I help you get out of this damn place’ “

You just sat down ready to just walk out into the lava

“I’ve been stuck here for months! None of you even cared enough to visit me, hell even Tommy came around.”

You might have felt a little bad after leaving him

The prison was cold even tho lava was flowing right there

“Why would you leave the discs alone..” “Because I had to end it.”

What were you doing here

What were you planning on saying?

“So, what do you do in prison”

“I have a clock.”

You got up to go look at the pretty clock

Then threw it at his face

“Ow” “deal with it bitch”

The longer you stayed the worse the feeling in your stomach got

so you buzzed for Sam waving goodbye

“Wait.. Do they miss me?” “Can’t say, but I think this may be for the best.”

He wanted his best friends

But he just got the annoying teenager

Oh but that wouldn’t be the last

𝐋𝐚𝐬 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐬

You got a letter in the mail one day

Who the hell uses letters??

You were shocked to see the address and the small post card

“Come around some time”-Quackity

Ans on the back it had the cords

Oh well what did you have to loose? Sapnap was focused on Karl

and well Karl didn’t even know you

So you set off

It took you a couple hours travel by horse to get to the desert area

The large sign blaring in the red text

You gotta admit the place looked beautiful

There was a giant dick and different shops

You were shocked to see this random un human like guy

“Hello, I am Charlie a totally human guy!”

Yeah totally not slime

“I’m uh, Y/n?” He reached out for a handshake sort of thing

“Dap me up!” “Another time Charlie”

Maybe when you had hand sanitizer

“Ohh so your Y/n! Mister Quackity talks about you all the time, come on in!”

You were skeptical but followed anyways

Stopping in your tracks when you saw Fundy

“Furry?” “Fire shit?”

You went over to give him a side hug, ruffling his fur

“What the hell are you doing here ginger boy!” “Oh you know, just escaping nightmares”

You were confused then just let him be

You walked to the entry way of the place

A beautiful pond with flowers and an arch

“Did what the place where Mr. Quackity was going to propose!”

Going to?

You shrugged it off following inside

You hated to admit it, but you were excited to see him

Yeah you really needed a parental figure in your life at the moment

So when you saw him, he immediately pick you up in a hug

You didn’t fail to notice his change in appearance

That beanie stayed the same tho

Thank god

“Hey hey! Let me show you around the place, we can also go for lunch and talk.”

The casino looked great to say the least

Loud music booming from the speakers, along with the live jazz band on the side

Slot machines were going off every minute

“Have a chip, something to remember this by”

He handed you a red poker chip

It was a cool one tho, in the middle has a blocky sort of smile

Creepy and dopey.. sick!

So you put it around a spare silver chain

“So how have you been kid? ‘Ts been a while hasn’t it.” “Could be better..”

You both walked around the city in silence, offering to go in the super model shop

“No” “why not” “keep walking”

On your way to lunch you had to squint at what you were seeing

“Oh my goodness you’re still alive?!” “You’re alive!?”

You and revivebur just stared at one another

“Yeah he came back after I died!” “you what now-“

You just stared at Tommy and back to Wilbur

Oh god those shrooms were messing with your head

You should’ve gotten out of there a while ago

Quackity came over placing his hands on your shoulders

“Do I have to execute you both? Get off my damn property”

“Sorry Q. Say, Y/n wanna join Lmanburg 2.0?”

You back away holding your hands up

“I denied that offer once, and I’ll do it again. Fucking zombie freaks”

You obviously muttered the last part

Why the fuck did dream revive those two shits??

When did Tommy even die??

Your visit here has just gotten weirder and weirder

𝐌𝗼𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬

Quackity got you away from the brits as quick as he could

So he brought you over to his office

“So kid, how’s your dad..”

Ah you expected this question

“How the fuck am I supposed to know. He’s living his life, Karl’s time traveling! Oh yeah did I mention he doesn’t even remember me.”

He looked at you with wide eyes

“So I’m not the only one they forgot..”

You slammed you hands on the fable dramatizing the situation

“How would you feel about moving here? I mean you could work for me in the casino!”

You thought about it for a second

You have two options

1. Live in shroom town with bubbles

2. Move to las Nevada’s with Quackity

You were sure Sapnap wouldn’t mind

I mean would he even care?

He hasn’t for the past couple months!

“You feel abandoned there, over here there are hundreds of people. You’ll have the time of your life”

You thought about it for a sec

“Alright hand me a contract”

So you signed

Making deals with the devil huh

Little did you know it would cost you your life

Devils little soul

➳➳➳➳➳┄┄※┄┄➳➳➳➳➳

and this is the finale! I will take requests for sapnaps child, and I’ll do some shit with Quackity and the casino and go in more depth if wanted!

As always request and ask anything! And ask if you want to be on a taglist (child reader or general)

For those on the taglist I don’t know if you wanted to be tagged for all child reader shit or just dreams child.. so please tell me :)

@creatorofstars @georgenctfound @samistheidiot @smolbox-png @ghostlysenses @stellarinstigator @bobaducky

[pagingevilspawn]

how's your heart after breaking mine?

ts x jolex week 21

day one: fearless - mr. perfectly fine (taylor's verion) (from the vault)

wc: 2.5k

pairing: Jo Wilson/Alex Karev. Alex Karev/Izzie Steven (mentioned)

summary: years after they last saw each other, jo and alex reunite at a conference, and while she is still struggling from her heartache, he seems to be mr. perfectly fine.

rating: general audiences

category: angst.

warnings: angst, no happy ending, alcohol consumption.

A/N: guess who finished this just now? me. that's who. I was actually working on this one long before the announcement for this event came out, but it gave me the motivation to continue this! Alex is unintentionally an ass in this and for that, i’m sorry. Anyways… hope you enjoy! (first part's pretty crappy, but after that it gets better.)

(this was also proofread, like...once, so of there are a plethora of errors i apologize)

____

The absolute last thing Jo wanted right now was to attend a medical conference in Salt Lake City, Utah. There were multiple reasons why she should’ve said no. One; she had just started her second year of her OB GYN residency a few weeks prior, and there were a very limited number of lectures on her new line of study where she was headed. Two; she now held an absolute hatred for the Seattle Tacoma International Airport, since it was the place where her ex-husband stood before her, placed a soft kiss on her lips and promised to see her in a couple of weeks, lying to her face about seeing his mother in Iowa, when in reality he was going to see his ex-wife and kids, never really planning on returning home.

It was ironic really; how not even two years ago, she was standing in front of gate 48, saying goodbye to him, and now she stood in the same spot, in front of the exact same gate, with him nowhere near her side as she glared up at the same exact entrance she last saw him at.

(She also now hated the number forty-eight)

But, since Meredith had been hounding her non-stop about attending this event, she gave in. Because how was she supposed to say no to the woman who had barely survived the pandemic? Along with a plethora of other things she was too lazy to memorize. (The answer was that she couldn’t. She felt guilty for leaving Meredith behind for OB, so she now did whatever her former mentor wanted, even if more than two years had passed) If Meredith Grey asked for something, Meredith Grey got it. She was turning back into the intern who cried fake tears and would do anything to earn her approval, and Jo was not a fan.

“It’ll be good for you Wilson. You need to leave that loft of your’s and go somewhere Wilson, blah blah blah,” she mutters to herself as she shows the attendant her ticket, not even bothering to return the smile, settling on brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear instead. The messy bun on the top of her head bounced in place, and she felt like a college student after a night of studying, but rather than books tucked under her arm it was a neck pillow and a carry-on.

She shuffles into her seat, thankful that it was an aisle one before letting her eyes shut, trying to catch a wink of sleep in an attempt to make up for the less than few hours she had gotten the night before. It proves to be unsuccessful, because the businessman sitting next to her ate his chips so loud she had to restrain herself from coiling into herself every time a chip crunched beneath his teeth, and the toddler behind her continuously managed to kick her seat, no matter how many times his mother told him to stop.

After three hours of loud chewing, seat kicking, and crying babies, she lands in Salt Lake, taking in a deep breath when she finally escapes the crowded airport and is met with humid air. She picks up her rental car, and arrives at her hotel not long after, immediately tossing her bags into the corner and sprawling onto the bed. Eventually, she moves to unpack her clothes and other necessities, casting a glance at the clock which read 10:37.

Taking a look around the room, she decided that nothing more needs to be done; all of her makeup is laid out for the morning, and what she chose to wear is already hanging up in the closet, freshly ironed and wrinkle-free. She yawns, crawling under the covers and flicking off the light, sleep coming easily.

When she wakes up the next morning to her alarm clock going off, she’s freshly rested and in a better mood than she normally was when she had to wake up before nine. The early morning sun beats down onto her face, and she knows that if she wanted to get to the first lecture on time, she needed to start getting ready sooner rather than later.

With a sigh, she begrudgingly gets out of bed, hopping in a quick shower and changing into her clothes. She adds some soft waves to her hair, in the hopes that it made her look more put together than she felt. It didn’t seem that just because she got hours of sleep made up for the fact that she would rather be curled up in the soft sheets of her bed at home than the stiff ones the hotel provided.

It doesn’t take long until she’s arrived in the lobby, where doctors all around her were dressed in firmly pressed suits and skirts. Tables advertising different events throughout the day were lined up and down the hallways, fellow surgeons and mentees passing out little pamphlets with information about their courses littering the pages.

Jo passes by a few stands displaying lectures on the OBGYN field, mentally making a list of the ones she would like to attend.

A quick glance to her watch tells her that the first item on her list was starting soon, and with that she dumps the now-empty coffee cup she had ordered a few minutes prior as a pick-me-up, and shuffles into the seat of the auditorium, the chairs around her filling up quicker than she expects.

It’s only a few minutes later Dr. Maria Cavanaugh steps out onto the stage, silencing the crowd after a round of applause. Jo leans back into her seat, feeling grateful that Meredith had pushed her to go to this conference.

If her whole weekend is spent listening to experts talk and teach about her new specialty, she thinks she’s going to enjoy it.

____

It’s hours and a multitude of lectures later when she exits another grand room, fellow surgeons beside her chatting about the new information they’d acquired. She feels a small smile grace her lips as she realizes that the excited squeals could only come from the med school students that had been invited from the nearby college.

She pulls out her phone, seeing a text from Link and Meredith, both along the lines of that they hoped she arrived safely and that she enjoyed her time away from home. She responds, pocketing her phone and making her way to the hotel bar, settling into one of the few empty seats and ordering a whiskey sour, thanking the bartender when it's placed in front of her not even a minute later.

She sips the drink slowly, feeling some leftover tenseness from sitting all day leave her body as the alcohol starts to flow through her veins. She was far from drunk, but even saying tipsy felt like too much of a stretch.

Pleasantly buzzed, she decides on, taking another sip of her drink, making a brief second of eye contact with a man on the other end of the bar. He raises her glass with a slight nod of his head, and she does the same. She’s tempted to continue; take use of the way the man’s making subtle glances to the seat next to him when her ears pick up another conversion from a few feet away, freezing her in place, glass nearly dropping to the floor.

“Do you want anything?”

“Just a water’s fine. I’m gonna go talk to Dr. Conwell about some of the research her and her team were talking about.”

She turns in her seat, against her better judgment. She watches as he kisses her cheek before leaning against the bar’s counter a few feet away.

She feels as if ice had just been dropped down her back —frozen in place, unable to move as she watches Alex drum his fingers on the dark wood, head nodding along to the soft tune playing through the speakers. He grabs his drinks from the bartender; two waters, one with ice and one without, about to walk towards the woman he was with earlier when he spots her.

“Jo?” he questions, blinking multiple times as if to see if it was really her, and not a trick of the light.

She wants to run when he makes his way over to her. She wants to run, and scream, and throw her drink in his face. But instead, she places a tight, thin smile on her lips and acts as if nothing was wrong.

“Alex, hi!” She turns to face him, her voice too high for her enthusiasm to be true, but if he knows it he doesn’t make any move to show it.

He runs a hand through his hair —it's longer than the last time she saw it, a bit of grey speckled in so lightly that it wouldn’t be noticeable to someone who wasn’t looking.”I uh, I didn't know you’d be here.”

She wants to roll her eyes, but refrains. “Well,” she spins her drink with the straw, watching as the ice cubes clink against the glass “The feeling’s mutual.”

“How are you?” He asks after a few beats of silence, and she wants nothing more than to yell at him that he couldn’t talk to her like this —like they were old friends who had lost contact after a while, and were due for a catch up. Because they weren’t old friends. They were so far from friends that someone could build a bridge with the amount of space they had between them.

“Fine,” she lies through her teeth, her heart nearly beating out of her chest in nervousness. She was worried that she was going to break down at any second, spew the words that she had said to Carly in anger at him if he looked at her any longer as if things were okay between them.

“You?” she questions, not interested in the answer, sipping her drink similarly to how she had the night of Bailey’s wedding, the unwelcome memory of the start of their relationship blossoming to the front of her mind.

He sips his water, “Good. I’ve been good.”

With his hand clasped around the glass she catches sight of the pristine, shiny gold ring that sits on his fourth finger, and she has to fight back the growing lump in her throat that threatens to escape.

“Congrats,” she says instead, eyebrows pinched together as she nods towards the ring, a tell that always told whether or not her words rang true.

He seems to have forgotten that, and takes her words as a compliment. He gives her a small smile, “Thanks.”

Jo wants to laugh, because this was so far from the Alex Karev she had known, the man in front of her unfamiliar and so, so different from the one she married years ago. The Alex she knew would’ve never ordered a water instead of a beer, or act as if everything was okay between them when it was so far from it.

He’d changed, and she couldn’t say that she liked it.

“How are the kids?” she asks, and she can tell that she’s surprised him. He looks taken aback for a moment, before smiling gently and reaching into his pocket for his phone. “They’re great,” he says, pulling up a photo of them, the twins smiling brightly into the camera.

“That was at their birthday party last week,” he explains, and she notices the large 7 balloons that are floating in the background.

“He looks like you,” she comments about the boy. He grins, and she wants nothing more than to slap him for not being able to see that she’s so obviously hurting, that her heart is breaking inside of her chest. That she selfishly wants him to say that he made a mistake, that he was in love with her, not Izzie. But her life wasn’t a trashy romance novel, and even if it was, Alex was never one to admit to his faults, his pride and ego too large to have it bruised in such a way.

She had always wondered what he had been up to after he had left. If he was okay. She’d imagined different futures for him, some including Izzie and the kids, some of them not. She’s even naively envisioned ones with her and the children they had always talked about having one day.

Somedays, when she was feeling worse for wear, she had wished that he was miserable —that he and Izzie weren’t together and as far as they went communication-wise was a phone call to see who had the kids that week; that he was as alone and bitter as she was.

But instead, here he was, Mr. Perfectly Fine. The man who had looked her in the eyes and told her he would never go away.

Here he was, Mr. Perfectly Fine. Married to the woman he had left her for, a shiny gold ring on his finger instead of neat, polished wood.

For the past two years she’d been picking up the pieces of herself that he had shattered and left behind, only just starting to put herself back together, and here he was, Mr. Perfectly Fine. While she was piecing together her shattered heart, he was picking up her, the woman he had left her for.

She had thought that he was different from the rest; different from everyone who had ever left her. But he wasn’t —the man she had thought was so different was so exactly the same as everyone else.

“I’m sorry, Jo.” he says, and she has the urge to laugh —laugh because he wasn’t sorry, she could tell. He was sorry that he left her and caused her pain, sure. But he wasn’t sorry that he had done it, that he had married Izzie again and lived with her and his kids on a farm in the middle of Kansas. He wasn’t sorry about that at all.

Mr. Insincere Apology so he didn’t look like the bad guy.

She acts as if she believes him, giving him another tight smile, and lies through her teeth once more. “It’s fine Alex. It’s in the past.”

Jo checks phone, making a face when she ‘realizes’ the time, eager to get out of there as soon as she could. “I need to go, early morning,” she fibs, and she internally rolls her eyes at how he believes her. While he seemed to have forgotten everything about her, she still remembers every detail about him.

“It was nice seeing you again Jo,” he’s playing with the sleeves of his jacket and his eyes meet hers, and for less than a second it’s almost enough to break her resolve.

Another tight smile graces her lips, and she begins to walk away when her body fights her mind and she finds herself leaning down, her lips against his ear.

“I’m glad it was worth it, Alex.”

Her voice is harsh and bitter, yet broken, and she doesn’t need to look at him to know that his face has fallen, and he’s realized that everything she’d told him that night was a lie. She turns and lets the tears fall silently, making her way back up to her room with a head full of thoughts about her ex-husband, about Alex Karev.

About Mr. Perfectly Fine.

____

@thejolexgroupchat #tsjolexweek21

[csykora]

https://slate.com/transcripts/c2JZaHhQeC9QMGlhdUFpUGEycnl0UnRnNUdJRmo5R0tCdG02ck5pTTRhTT0=

On this week’s Hang Up and Listen podcast, we talked to two members of the group, both from UCLA: Elisha Guidry, a rising sophomore defensive back from Long Beach, California, and Otito Ogbonnia, a rising junior defensive tackle from Houston. The following transcript of that conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity. The link to the full audio interview is at the bottom of this piece. —Joel Anderson

Joel Anderson: I guess the first question is: How did this group and the list of demands come together?

Otito Ogbonnia: It was something that we always knew, individually and teamwise, that this is a sentiment that most people felt. We were just waiting for an opportunity to get this whole thing going. And this started with some of the guys from Cal who used this as an opportunity to demand change and try to really get something done here. It was really Zoom that allowed us to do this whole thing, and being in a pandemic. It’d be very hard to coordinate a movement this big in normal times.

Elisha Guidry: Also, the social movement, or the civil rights movement really that’s going on in our country also inspired us. There’s a lot of inequalities that people are noticing. People are being awakened to seeing some of the things that go on in this world, and I feel like college football has many of them as well.

Josh Levin: Elisha, there are 17 demands on the list. What are the top line ones, as far as you’re concerned?

Guidry: For me personally, I feel like they’re all important. Definitely the players’ safety with the COVID, and ensuring that if a player decides to opt out, that his eligibility is honored, as well as getting insurance for players when they finish playing, because football takes a toll on the body and the mind. And I feel like once the player is done, they’re kind of just kicked out. They’re kind of just thrown in the world without a lot of guidance.

The image and likeness is very important because players deserve to be able to create wealth for themselves with this sport. I feel like a lot of players come from lower-income homes, a lot of players have struggles and football is kind of their way out. So just having an opportunity to be able to affect their families and affect their communities and people around them with their sport, even if they don’t make it to the NFL, is very important.

Stefan Fatsis: The demand that’s gotten a lot of attention is asking for 50 percent of revenue from the conference to be directed toward players. I mean, realistically, there’s no way that the Pac-12 leaders are going to agree to that immediately. So it does feel like by asking for it, you’re bringing this out into the open, the idea that athletes are aware of the inequities here and that we’ve got to move toward some system that helps compensate them in some way. Is that how you view it or are the ambitions higher among the group?

Ogbonnia: That’s exactly how we view it. I think when you exploit a group of people for this amount of time, it’s just kind of what you get. They had their opportunity to fix this, multiple opportunities. And one thing we, as a group, aren’t willing to accept is the idea that it’s not possible. This is a country which was brought up upon working hard and doing the impossible. And there are ways to get it done. Fifty percent of revenue is ambitious and it’s high and it’s asking a lot. But we live in this country, just like everybody else. And in regards to name, image, and likeness, why should we be the only citizens in this country who are denied making money off of who we are and our brand? And why is it that a kid at UCLA being a musician can go perform and make a couple hundred bucks off of their name, image, and likeness, but when it comes down to athletes, it’s a whole different story?

And I think that’s where that social justice kind of comes in, right? When you deny a group of people certain rights, you start to wonder why you’re doing it.

Anderson: A little more than a month ago, before even the We Are United movement, UCLA football players published their own list of demands related to coronavirus protections. So there was obviously an activist streak within the team already. And I just was curious to know, where is the team with that?

Ogbonnia: I forgot to mention about when you asked about the start of this movement, one thing those Cal guys told us is that they saw our letter to our university. They saw what we published and they kind of took that lead from us. So that was cool to see that.

And in regards to where we’re at now, for the most part, we’re doing well in terms of guaranteeing COVID protections. And we’re taking a very conservative approach to getting back to play in competition, if that’s even feasible.

[But] this is above UCLA. It’s above any one conference or any one school. It’s above any one person or any one culture or athletic department. It’s a conference thing. And the conference has the power to get some of these things done. As you’ve seen, the NCAA and the conference aren’t necessarily as conjoined as one may think. And a lot of times, they work separately in a lot of these matters.

Guidry: The Cal guys saw the things that we were asking for and they had to stop themselves—like, OK, we don’t have the same type of protection, and that’s something we want, because we feel like we’re taking this risk coming back to school and trying to participate in this game.

We all love football. We all spend so much time playing, since we were kids, and we want to do that as safely as possible, especially during this pandemic. Just asking around is what got everybody started and kind of got us all connected. And then we realized that there were more issues than just with the COVID-19 precautions.

Levin: I think it’s important for folks listening to this to understand how amazing and unusual it is what you guys are doing—even doing this interview. There was a story recently about the University of Iowa. They didn’t even let their players be on social media. The amount of control at these programs, about what they allow you guys to say, what they allow you guys to do in public, it’s so restrictive. And so the fact that you guys are talking to us about this, the fact that you put this message out, it’s an enormous deal. And we’ve already seen, there are varying reports about what’s going on at Washington State, in your conference, about potential repercussions for players there for joining this movement and for speaking out. [Editor’s note: According to a transcript published by the Dallas Morning News, Washington State coach Nick Rolovich told player Kassidy Woods that if Woods was a part of the Pac-12 unity movement, “that’s gonna be an issue.” Rolovich later said in a statement, “WSU football student-athletes who have expressed support for the #WeAreUnited group will continue to be welcome to all team-related activities.”] Are you guys at all concerned about potential repercussions from UCLA? And are you aware of the power imbalance? Your coach, Chip Kelly, was an NFL coach. He’s a multi-multimillionaire and you guys—you could have your scholarships taken away, potentially.

Ogbonnia: I think that’s something that a lot of people consider when they’re joining this movement. When you join something with this magnitude, you get the idea of what you’re getting yourself into and kind of make [peace] with that, with the consequences of what you’re doing. Of course, I would love to keep my scholarship and stay on the team. And our coach or our administration has never threatened us in that manner. And I don’t think they will. It’s been relatively positive and we haven’t seen any type of repercussion, retaliation from anybody from our school.

And it hurts to see that type of stuff being exemplified at Washington State, because you tell people to stand up for what they believe in in this world. When you want to support something, I think you should have the freedom to do it. And in regards to holding your tongue in a lot of these things, I think that’s where the conferences and the universities and college football as a whole gains their control over individuals. Because you start to feel a certain way after you’re done with football, when you’re in the system and you feel silenced, you feel like you can’t say anything, and that takes a toll on you. And it’s taken a toll on me until I kind of had a realization of who I am and who I want to be in this world. And that’s not somebody who’s silenced or who feels like they can’t be who they are because of what I’m doing.

I don’t think that’s what we sign up for. [It] doesn’t say that in our letter of intent. You shouldn’t bar anybody from freedom of speech. They should be able to say what they want without feeling like they may get cut or that they may get blackballed by their team or their coach. And that’s why that Washington State situation is very significant in our eyes in this movement. We’re well aware of what’s going on and we’re trying to do the best we can to help those guys out there.

Guidry: I feel like for real change to come, you’ve kind of got to put yourself out there. If I have to be sacrificed to have a greater movement come, then that’s something I’m OK with. If I got to sit out to help bring a change for my children or my friends’ children that are to come or the next generation, that’s something that, at the end of the day, it’s going to make things better. And if I have to be the one that has to be at expense for that, that’s something that I’m OK with.

[j0ebay]

Kiss Me Goodbye... Chapter 2

Warning(s): swearing, PANIC ATTACK, violence, this is probably trash tbh

Word Count: 3135

A/N: IT’S HERE IT’S HERE IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! I’m so so so deeply sorry this took me like eight years to actually do but hopefully it’s good! I’m really stoked this chapter is finally out so enjoy and feedback is deeply appreciated!! 💙

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chapter 1      chapter 3

an extra thank you to @starksmile for the amazing moodboard!!

“Now he’s gone. I don’t know why and to this day sometimes I cry. He didn’t even say goodbye. He didn’t take the time to lie” -Nancy Sinatra

“You shot him? Thomas Stanley I thought he just owed you money!” The red haired woman yells at her eldest son.

“Actually Nikki, it was me who did it.” Harrison interjects.

“But it didn’t actually kill him. I just got his collarbone, it’s broken at best. He’ll live,”

Nikki sighs, shaking her head.

“He was saying some really messed up shit, using his cousin as a bargaining chip instead of the money he chose to spend.” Harrison continues.

She flashes a sad smile.

“You boys always are involved in such dangerous things. I miss when you were all little. OOH! WHICH REMINDS ME.”

Nikki walks over to a couch in the living room. The boys immediately notice a beat up, brown book in the middle of the glass coffee table. Tom and Harry sit on the couch next to their mother while Haz stands behind them, looking down. Nikki reaches over, grabbing the book and flipping open to the first page, revealing Tom’s baby pictures.

“Oh this is too good” Harrison chuckles while playfully clapping a hand on Tom’s shoulder.

Nikki smiles at the two of them and turns to the next page, filled with pictures of Tom and Haz, along with another brunette girl.

“Oh Lindsey Fuller! You three were always so close. I don’t know if you boys remember but Harrison, your mom and Denise Fuller, rest her soul would always come over on Saturdays for brunch and the three of you would play until it was dark.” She sighs, remembering the good days.

“Wait” Harry says, snapping everyone out of their thoughts.

“What happened to Denise Fuller?”

“Car crash right?” Haz asks.

Nikki nods

“‘Ts a shame too. It was only a few years ago”

They all nod as Nikki continues to flip through old pictures of Tom, the twins, Harrison, Lindsey and even some of Paddy. Nobody noticed Harry pull out his phone as he scrolls through social media, soon finding what he was looking for.

“Guys, I found her Instagram.”

Their eyes widen as Harry lowers his phone so they can see her page.

“She’s gorgeous” Haz whispers as Tom clicks on a picture of her.

“She dyed her hair” Tom adds.

This is true. Lindsey went from a light brown to a shade of black with some hints of red.

“It suits her though” Harry says, smiling.

“It really brings out the green in her eyes.” Nikki continues.

Harrison didn’t really hear anything past the moment he said something as he continued to marvel at the picture of her, zoning everyone and everything out.

Lindsey cracks a small smile at the notification on her phone

“harryholland64 is now following you”

She looks down at the picture of the five of them, Tom, Harry, Sam, Harrison and her. Lindsey opens the camera on her phone, snapping a picture and setting it as her lockscreen.

“What’re you still doing up?” Lindsey hears from behind her.

She turns around to see her roommate, Grace. Short, blonde hair, blue eyes, absolutely gorgeous. Lindsey lets out a small chuckle

“Ah, I’m just looking through this old stuff”

Grace smiles, pulling up a chair from the kitchen table and sitting down.

“So it wasn’t a bomb then?” The two girls laugh.

“No, no. It was just an old scrapbook.”

Lindsey subconsciously wipes a stray tear away as she thinks back to the memories with the boys. Grace gently rubs her back.

“I’m sorry, love. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to”

Lindsey shakes her head.

“No, no it’s just,” She lets out a heavy sigh.

“I-I just miss them so much y’know? We started growing apart senior year and now I’m twenty-two, the last time i saw anyone remotely close to me in my childhood was their mom two years ago at my mom’s funeral and now I’m crying cause one of them is following my instagram and oh my god I’m such a mess I’m sorry.”

Grace shakes her head.

“Don’t say that Linds. There’s nothing to be sorry for. It sounds like you just miss them”

Lindsey nods her head again, closing her eyes, prompting more tears to fall down her cheeks.

“Well, you have one of their instagrams now, right? Why don’t you send him a message! He probably misses you too! I mean, at least enough to track you down on social media.”

She smiles, brushing some stray burgundy hair from her face. Unlocking her phone, Lindsey taps on the paper airplane icon and types out a simple

“Harry?”

The next morning, Haz emerges from his room to see Tom, Harry and Nikki around the kitchen island, talking.

“What’s going on?” He asks, his voice low and raspy, indicating he had just woken up.

“Lindsey and I were talking last night.”

His bright blue eyes widen and his eyebrows raise.

“What’d she say?”

Tom lets out a chuckle.

“A little eager there aren’t ya mate?”

Harrison looks down, hiding the rose dust creeping on his cheeks. He thought no one knew about his inability to sleep the previous nights flooding with Lindsey.

“W-whaddya mean?”

The three laugh again.

“Nothing, Haz. We’re just joking.” Harry further explains.

He lets out a sigh of relief.

“She was talking about how much she missed us. I guess she got Denise’s scrapbook as well.”

“Y’know it was Denise who got me into scrapbooking. Oh my goodness we would always need two, maybe three copies of your guys’ pictures so we could each have one.” Nikki interjects.

“Mum!” Harry says, glaring.

“Anyway, she has Denise’s scrapbook, she’s keeping herself busy, really busy but most importantly, she wouldn’t shut up about how we all need to get together again. Oh also she asked about Tom and Haz.”

Harrison smiled, looking at the hardwood floor again. They really did miss each other.

Lindsey’s mind swirled with thoughts of the guys, the kids she works with and all the other things she needs to do as she paces around the back of the diner.

“Focus, Linds.” She whispers to herself.

“You’re here. Just focus on the things that are here. Text Harry later, go over notes later, focus on the diner and the customers”

She sighs, tying the apron behind her back, running a hand through her dark hair and walks to the front of the diner. “Hi! My name is Lindsey. I’ll be taking care of you today. Is there any drinks I can get you started with? Water, juice, coffee?” She trails off.

The man gives her a bone chilling stare. Not even blinking or breaking eye contact, he slicks his over-gelled black hair back and says

“Just a water, please. Thanks.”

Lindsey nods while writing his request down and forces a smile at him. She walks towards the counter, still feeling a pair of eyes on her. She’s greeted by her co-worker mumbling

“This is like the eighth time he’s been here for breakfast”

Lindsey giggles, covering her mouth.

“Mari, it’s only Tuesday”

The two girls giggle again while Lindsey pours the water and some coffees for the people at the table next to the man.

“Just be careful alright? He’s still looking at you.”

Lindsey closes her eyes and nods. She puts the drinks on a tray and walks then over to the respective people.

“Anything you want me to get started for you?” She asks the man.

He flashes a bewildering smile at her as he quietly says

“Just a poached egg. No sides.”

Lindsey raises her eyebrows.

“You sure I can’t get anything else for ya?” He shakes his head and Lindsey finds herself needing to force another smile.

“I’ll put that in right away.”

As Lindsey turns to walk away, she feels a hand tightly grip her forearm. She turns back towards him with wide eyes and a rapid thumping in her chest, resonating in her ears.

“I’m Chris by the way”

She gulps, trying to steady her breathing.

“W-well then I’ll put that in right away, Chris”

Lindsey gently tugs her arm away, walking towards the counter, feeling a pit form in her stomach. Right as she gets behind the counter, her manager, Karlie taps her on the shoulder, signaling for her to meet her in the back to talk. Lindsey follows the older woman, subconsciously rubbing her wrist.

“Linds, you’ve been working hard and given what just happened, I wanna send you home. Are you okay?”

Lindsey just nods. She wasn’t okay. She was concerned for her safety, but she didn’t need people knowing that.

No customer had ever grabbed her like that. Her mind races in fear as she feels her chest tighten. She knew what was coming. She quickly and shakily fumbles for her phone, tapping the instagram icon and texting Harry

“Harry, Lindsey texted you.”

Tom hands Harry his phone and unlocks it to see

lindseyfuller: Hey is it cool if I call you? It’s kinda important

Harry gulps and sends his phone number saying a quiet

“She’s gonna call us”

Without missing a beat, Harry’s phone rings.

“Lindsey?” He asks, setting the phone down on the coffee table and putting it on speakerphone.

“H-hey! How ya been?”

The three can hear labored breathing in the background.

“Hey Linds you’re on speaker with Tom, Haz and me.”

Harrison immediately becomes concerned with the tone of her voice.

“Everything alright, love?”

They hear a sigh from the other line, a sliding noise and the unmistakable sounds of sobbing.

“Lindsey, answer me. Are you okay?” Harrison asks with concern and a hint of fear in his voice.

“I-I dunno there was this guy at work a-and he grabbed me and I’m really freaked out cause my boss told me to go home and-“

“Breathe, darling.” Tom cuts her off, fists clenched.

They all hear hiccups from the other line.

“Hey, Lindsey. Love, it’s Haz. Hey, remember that one time the Holland’s were out of town? We were sixteen and you had gotten into a fight with your mom so I picked you up and took you to the beach remember?”

Lindsey, while sitting on the bathroom floor with her elbows on her knees, nods and says

“Y-yeah”

“Good. Think about the sound of the waves, how the breeze felt on your skin. Remember when we curled up and looked at the stars? And you told me that it was literally the most serene thing you’ve ever experienced? Bring yourself back to that.”

Harrison felt himself tear up as his fists clenched around the chair he was sitting in. Slowly, he stands up, mutes the phone so she can’t hear them and says

“We need to fuckin kill this guy”

The other two nod asHaz unmutes the phone. Lindsey’s breath cycle returns to normal.

“Thank you guys so much. I’m really sorry for freaking you out like this. It’s just my roommates busy a-and I didn’t really know who else to call.” She sniffles, wiping a few excess tears from her face.

“So how ya been?” She asks, softly giggling.

The boys laugh with her.

“We’re all good here, darling.” Tom says

Harry and Haz murmur in agreement. Lindsey smiles from the other end.

“H-Hey can you guys do me a favor?”

They hear shifting from the other line.

“What’s up, darling?” Harrison asks

Lindsey sighs, running a hand through her hair.

“D-do you guys mind staying on the line with me while I walk out of work? Cause I’m pretty sure that guy is still out there a-and oh my god he’s gonna know I was freaking out I’m literally in the back of the diner”

“Hey, hey, hey, Linds. It’s gonna be okay. If he hurts you or even looks at you I swear to god I’ll kill him” Tom says with fists clenched so hard, his knuckles turn white.

She laughs.

“No, no it’s fine. I don’t need you getting arrested or something like that” Lindsey says, completely unaware of the boys’ professions.

Throughout the day, Lindsey insisted to keep Chris’ identity a secret from the guys and continued to excessively look over her shoulder.

“Everything alright, Linds?”

She’s snapped out of her thought by a fellow drum tech. She smiles.

“Yeah, Ali. I’m good. It’s just there was this guy at work today that freaked me out and I’m just a little on edge, that’s all”

Ali nods.

After a long rehearsal, Lindsey and the rest of the drum staff start packing up. She feels eyes on her again. Turning her head behind her, her eyes widen as she sees the same man from the diner. Lindsey increases her walking pace into the school and soon emerges, feeling her breath hitch in the back of her throat once she sees that he’s gone. She takes out her phone and starts to type out a message to Harrison. Ever since the diner, the boys insisted she have their number, plus Sam’s who’s away at school.

Lindsey Fuller Hey can you talk?

She tugs her sweatshirt sleeves to cover some of her hands and self-consciously wraps her arms around her abdomen. Her phone buzzes.

Harrison Osterfield Yeah what’s up?

Lindsey is too busy texting to realize the man waiting for her at her car, until an arm pushes her up against the vehicle while another one meets her lips to muffle her screams.

“Shh, shh, shh. Linds it’s me. It’s Chris.”

The tears don’t hesitate to fall, drenching her cheeks.

“What do you want from me?” She asks, muffled by the hand clamped over her mouth.

Chris lets out a chuckle that would make anyone feel the chill in their bones.

“I want you, Linds”

She cries even harder and struggles to get out of his grip as he removes his hand from her mouth to stroke her cheek.

Chris says some more things but Lindsey was too busy realizing she got closer to her car door. Close enough to get in. Lindsey wiggles more under his grips until she feels the handle of her car door. She tells herself to carefully calculate the movements. Just one slip up can put her in even more danger.

“Are you even listening to me?” He questions with a tone of aggravation.

“Mmm… no” She pushes herself up while kneeing him in the groin. Chris doubles over in pain and without missing a beat, Lindsey opens her car door and has the gas pedal pressed to the floor the whole way home

Harrison paces around his room. He shouldn’t be this worried about Lindsey but he is. She only asked to talk and that was twenty minutes ago. Did talk mean on the phone? Did talk mean texting? Did talking mean ghosting to her? Is she okay?

“Fuck it” he mumbles to himself and presses the call button on his phone.

“H-Haz?”

He sighs in relief. “Hey, beautiful” He says in a soft tone.

“What’s goin on?”

Lindsey sniffles.

“I-I honestly just need to talk. It’s been a long day and I just need to talk.”

“What happened?”

“H-haz, um, he, uh he came back.”

Harrison lets out a sigh, running a hand through his light brown curls. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” He mumbles.

Lindsey shakes her head, forgetting that he wasn’t in front of her. She closes her eyes, feeling a single tear rush down her face.

“N-no. He was at my car this time”

Harrison hits his wall in frustration.

“God damn it. Are you okay? What happened?”

She quietly laughs.

“I, uh, I kinda kneed him in the crotch? And then floored it home. So now I just got out of the shower and I’m curled up on the couch with my pajamas and my tea.”

Harrison lets out a chuckle.

“Damn, Linds. I wish I could’ve been there to see that.”

They both laugh as she says

“Shut up!”

There’s a moment of silence between the two before she asks

“So I guess Harry told you guys I miss the shit out of you.”

Harrison laughs again. “Y-yeah. He did. He also showed us your instagram.”

Her eyes widen “Oh no!! How much did you see?”

“Whadya mean ‘oh no’ you look really great!”

The two talk until roughly 1 AM just talking about their current life and reflecting on their memories. As Harrison strips his shirt and pulls on a pair of sweatpants, there’s one memory of the two that can’t seem to leave his mind.

“You really didn’t need to come rescue me y’know. I coulda just dealt with it.”

Harrison wraps his arm around her waist, bringing her closer. “You’ve had a rough day and you’re always so stressed so why not take my favorite girl to the beach to just walk around n stuff?”

She nods, sighing.

“You’re the best, Haz. Y’know that?”

He just smiles, squeezing her shoulder and pressing his lips to her forehead.

The two walk in silence. The only sounds being the waves and the sand parting between their bare feet.

“Holy shit this water’s cold” Harrison mumbles, making her softly giggle.

“Sounds like a you problem, Osterfield” Lindsey says at the same volume.

Harrison smirks.

“What was that Fuller?”

Lindsey innocently smiles

“I didn’t say anything”

He laughs, shaking his head

“You’re gonna get it, Linds” He says, scooping up some of the water.

Her eyes widen as she runs away from him, screaming. He chases her, the water eventually pouring out of his hands. Lindsey looks behind her to see him getting closer and closer until he grabs her by the waist and rapidly moves his fingers, tickling her sides until she falls down, laughing. He straddles her hips, continuing to tickle her sides.

“Ha-Haz stop. I-I can- I can’t breathe”

He lifts his hands up and gently crawls off of her, allowing her to catch her breath.

“Psst.” she hears from behind her.

Lindsey turns around to see Harrison, sitting in the sand with open arms.

“C’mere”

She stands up and plops herself down right next to him. His arms wrap around her and she puts her hands on his. Lindsey looks up at him, smiling before burying her face on the crook of his neck.

“Stop looking at me like that” She says, muffled by the skin of his neck.

“Well excuse me for admiring how my best friend looks absolutely gorgeous right now”

“Hazzzzzzz” She says making sure to drag out the last part of his nickname while playfully pushing his shoulder.

He laughs pulling her closer.

“Hey, Lindsey?” He asks, not breaking his gaze of the water.

“Hmm?” she responds.

He looks down at her, pressing a kiss to her cheek

“Y’know I’m here for you right?”

She smiles and nods.

“I’ll always be there for you” Harrison whispers to himself before drifting off to sleep

TAGLIST

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EVERYTHING

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HARRISON OSTERFIELD

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[red-taileddolphin]

The Salt and Pepper Berg

This was... the best meal, I’ve ever had. This happened when I was at the Berg in the Gulf of Mexico where I worked at the Do Good Fellowship and it took place at a little mandatory mixer which was where we were all gonna get to know each other for the first time.

Yes, yes you know the mixer? It was a wonderful little get together on the Berg which meant it catered mainly to sociopathic scientists and very friendly HR reps.

Now I go into this place with friend Irene (now I should clarify, she’s not really my friend, we’re just both really friendly people and I didn’t know anyone yet) and they had a jukebox there. And the jukebox was by request, so we went up, and requested twenty one plays of Tom Jones’s “What’s New Pussycat”, and then we got some sliders and waited.

Now here’s the thing about when “What’s New Pussycat” plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays your immediate thought is not “hey I’m gonna try a little thought experiment where I try to come up with a formula I can’t solve”, it’s “hey, is this mandatory?”

The third time it plays you’re thinking “is this a cult?” The FOURTH time it plays you’re thinking “all of you together do not equal my mind.”

So. The FIFTH time is the kicker. Now we’re watching the entire mixer at this point, and we’re staring at this one girl, she’s like sitting in her chair and she’s like writing on a napkin and like she’s been onto us since the beginning. And she’s staring at her formulas like, awww, like she just got her thirty day chip from anger management.

And the fourth play fades out...

It’s dead quiet...

And then. I don’t know if you know this. But the song begins, veeeeeerrrry subtley, ”BWAAAAHHHHH BWAHHH WHATS NEW PUSSYCAT”

And the girl goes “I WILL USE EVERY BIT OF MY MIND TO RUIN YOUR TIME HERE” and pounds on the table, and sliders fly everywhere, and it was faaaantastic.

But a word about my friend Irene, and what a genius she was, because. When we were first up at the jukebox. and when we were punching in the What’s New Pussycats; I punched in about seven, and then Irene says to me “hey hey hey wait. before we drop in another What’s New Pussycat. let’s put in one (1) It’s Not Unusual.”

And that was when the mixer went from good to great!

After SEVEN. WHATS NEW PUSSYCATS. IN A ROW. SUDDENLY:

“Dum ts dudum ts dum ts nunununununum It’s not unusual...”

And the sigh of relief, that SWEPT through the mixer. People were ecstatic! It was like the return of Lup!

You know for years scientists have wondered: “can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s “It’s Not Unusual”?” And the answer is: yes. you can. as long as it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats.

And on the other hand... when we went back.

hhhholy shitt

Its Not Unusual fades out...

It’s dead quiet.......

...

BWAAHHHHH BWAHH WHATS NEW PUSSYCAT people went fucking insane.

No one could handle it

No one could handle it!

And they were surrounded by these like seemingly indifferent Department Heads that we’re just like “leave the room. in the correct order.”

My ONLY wish is that one of the stood up and said like “is that an Olive Garden card in there?”

They unplugged the jukebox after ELEVEN plays

And THAT. Was the best meal I’ve ever had

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 13 - “We can only really try to protect them for so long unless they actually start playing their own game” - Matt S.

Me and Timmy being a duo is awesome becuase i feel like no one wants either of of us so thats will make sure we will make it through this vote. I feel bad for Trace. He had one split up with throwing Owen’s name out to Kait and caused our alliance to target him. Ian and Corey also wanted Trace gone. The good this is that i still have my steal a vote which i hope i wont need to use it until later in the game when i need the numbers by one vote. Im hope Timmy and I could do well in the challenge cuz immunity would be nice.

---

All I have to say was Fuck that logic pizzle. It was like so hard, but if im being honest though, I actually kinda had a little bit of fun. But overall frustrating.

Just sitting here waiting for information from the 6 person alliance to be leaked to me, I soooooo just want to be like, Devon. I fucking know. If Corey and I can get through this without burning an advantage that would be epic, but if an advantage gets burned I need it to be his double vote... to get Matt and Kait in the retrograde. I have very strong feeling I'm not going to get what I want this round. I can't, can't burn my idol on chips and Thomas. If it has to be played my foot is going down on it to be Matt and Kait. To sum it up, if an advantage has to be played I need Kait and Matt in retrograde, if no advantage needs to be played I want Chips and Thomas. If Timmy and Maynor go then I'm gonna have to pop my idol soon rather than later. If it's Devon and me in a blindside... Whelp, I have to win a challenge and lose an ally. A lot more bad than good can happen for my game this round.

The ‘vote’ is Chips/Thomas but IMBS alliance is thinking of separating Devon/Ian. Like i both of them and it will be burning a bridge of who ever comes back from retrograde. Its crazy to finally be like halfway. Ive been really enjoying this season. I hope I can beat my placement of 9th from guyana here. Im trying my best and im playing my own game instead of playing for someone else because i wanted to have fun that season and help friends make it far and win. 

So this round is very interesting, I have a 1/5 chance of receiving votes which makes me incredibly nervous and I feel like it’s not far’fetched to assume kait and I may be targets. People want to vote Thomas and Chips which is hilarious because we can only really try to protect them for so long unless they actually start playing their own game. I think at this point there’s a pretty solid group of us that want to target Devon/Ian but I know Devon will feel betrayed by me. Kait always seems to think I’m naive which is kind of frustrating to me, but everyone thus far seems to actually trust me. Devon teased the idea of Corey’s name and she thinks I’m being tricked but considering I’ve been to infinitely more Warzones and have always voted correctly... we’ll see who’s the real trickster

This twist...mess. I am so happy to be partnered with Maynor though. When the post was made I was immediately going to message him if he wanted to be my partner but when I get to his PMs I saw that he already messaged me the same thing, so it worked out really well. He is definitely the person I want to go to the end with (that could change because he is really likable so who knows). But from a game standpoint I think we're very similar. I'm sad we lost immunity, but he put a lot of work into that because I was at work so I'm proud of him. The vote seems to be Devon/Ian which I am happy about because they are big comp threats. It's upsetting as well though because I have been talking to them and I like talking to them both but obviously they will have each other over me so having one of them go is beneficial. The other will be mad, probably at me (moreso Ian than Devon if he comes back) but that's a bridge I'll have to cross when I get to it. Also I finally respectfully made jury in TS which is exciting because last time was Virgin Islands and everyone was on jury in that game.

So very tricky day especially with the duos. It seems there is a consensus but that is too easy so there is something bound to happen and I do feel in danger. I have found that ian isn’t very well connected with a lot of people, which puts us in danger. I am thinking we may need to start being an aggressor in the next few hours. 

Matt, you always knew what was coming for you. I was always coming for you. Good luck in retrograde. This is my tribe now. Let the mighty kids be finished, let the age of the undesirable be born. Oh and kait, sorry girl I'm sure I'll see you back, but you voted for me so like... maybe don't be so protective of a goat at f12

Kait is paranoid because everyone is quiet but like calm down, your name has never come up once this game...which is concerning but not for the current moment...like you are fine just stick to the plan it is fine. Like our alliance is half the votes tonight so it's fine. We are all sticking around tonight so calm down and just be happy.

The vote is locked for Devon/Ian. I feel so bad voting Ian but its what my alliance wants and im in good standings with all of them that i think they would take me further. They are both comp threats so its good one is getting knocked out. This game is getting more chaotic and more game movey and i like it but it can be a double edge sword cuz it can easily be me as a target.

I want to retrograde just to show em all I'm not half-assing this game but whatever happens happens

Ep 13 I have never been happier to be immune. Those idol plays were crackedt, and I only knew one was happening tbh. I’m crying in the club about Corey being gone. And by the club I mean the tub. I was in a bath for the entirety of tribal BFJSJDN. I’m really worried about how everything is gonna work out now. Either Corey being gone is going to take a huge Target off my back, or it’s going to make it bigger. Also my phone autocorrected target to capital T and that should show you how much I shop at Target. 

Ep 13 So I know I keep saying I'll make a full length confessional and failing to do so while it's on my mind and I'm trying to remember to write this one I'll do my best. Anyway, last round I was told that (once again) me and Thomas were the vote. And I think it's because Thomas was my partner. Which is lame that he's always the decoy vote but here we are. So anyway I'm told that it's between my group or the group of Ian and Devon so I'm convinced to vote that way. Then the voted get read and they're all for Kait and Matt which is cool because it means I'm definitely in the minority since that plan was not communicated to me. Neat. Anyway, both of those groups play an idol and then it's a revote between Cullan and Corey, my group, and Jimmy and Maynor so obviously my group stays because we have the scapegoat. Anyway, that's what you missed last time on - Glee! And I swear I will sit down some time (probably tomorrow...) and type out a legit confessional that is the length of leading up to and including merge as like a "summary of where I am now and what's going on" - I know you probably don't care too much but that's what I'm here to do give you information that's pointless or has already passed.