#tsoa odysseus

[meditando-en-paris]

Odysseus: Do it or you're straight.

Achilles: *Loud gasp*

[riotcat103]

Odysseus: If your love story was a movie, what would it be? Patroclus: Probably a tragicomedy Achilles: what? why? Patroclus: Because it's got the drama of the war and comedy of your stubbornness. Achilles: And the tragic of your terrible jokes. Patroclus: They're gold to someone... Just not you. Achilles: Wait no-

[pintsofguinnesmakeyoustrong]

odysseus: your father wished that his ashes be mixed with patroclus' so that they could be together in the underworld, the way i would want to be with my wife

neoptolemus: but my father had no such wife!

odysseus:

[mytholympus]

Achilles: There is no force of nature that says “come here” like the ocean

Odysseus: Those are the sirens bitch!

[leosoralyyn]

Odysseus watching Achilles absolutely mutilate Hector's corpse

[katkit-drops-alt]

aaaaaaaaaaaa the iliad/odyssey as cat memes aaaaaaaaaaaaa

[tostealtimefromthefates]

Odysseus: Love, if I died, would you get married again?

Penelope: That's a stupid question, I wouldn't let you die.

Odysseus: But what if it was out of your control, like I was run over by a chariot or fell ill or something?

Penelope: I would march down into the Fields of Punishment and drag you back out.

Odysseus: What if I was at peace in the afterlife, and didn't want to come back?

Penelope: I don't care what you want, you think I'm living without you? Are you crazy?

Odysseus: Awwwww. Wait, why did you just assume I'd end up in the Fields of Punishment?

Penelope: Have you met yourself? You're a heinous bastard and that's why I love you.

[simugeuge]

Friendly reminder that greek mythology retellings are retellings, not summaries. Please don't try to know the original source through them.

I wouldn't like Epic to end up getting as much hate as TSOA, just because people can't tell the difference between rendition and canon.

Let retellings frolick in their happy place 🌈🍭

[athenas-sw0rd]

Agamemnon: I never considered you a rival.

Achilles: I never considered you at all.

[thaliasthunder]

odysseus: men with long hair are such sluts. what do u have long hair for? for other men to pull it?

achilles: wha

odysseus: whore.

[aficionadoenthusiast]

agamemnon: so what are your powers?

ajax: i'm super strong

odysseus: i was blessed by athena with wisdom

achilles: i have super human speed

patroclus: i can control achilles

agamemnon: that's not really-

odysseus: no, trust us. he's our strongest member.

[meditando-en-paris]

[justmiraculousconspiracies]

Odysseus: What's up with Achilles? He has been laying on the floor for like.. an hour now?

Breises: He's a bit overwhelmed

Odysseus: And why is that?

Breises: Patroclus smiled at him

[flaroh]

My mock book covers of the Iliad and the Odyssey ⚔🌊✨

☆Merch Here☆

[this-and-this-and-this2]

Diomedes: Achilles, do you support the LGBTQ community ?

Achilles, pulling Patroclus into a delicate kiss: I'm gay.

Odysseus: He's avoiding the question!

[leosoralyyn]

me reading tsoa: why is there an whole 2 pages describing how hot Achilles is?

Oh yeah this is Patroclus' pov