#tudor confessions

[historicconfessions]

[dark-sultana]

Thousand series on Anne Boleyn ( all over the same feminist myth and stuff ) Thousand on Henry VIII and Elizabeth. We only wanted ONE chance of doing right about the FIRST regnant queen of England. But it seems wont be now, it is asking too much

[kirby-of-aragon]

Tudor Confession: When I see Henry VIII, I can't help but imagine Homer Simpson.

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

Testing One, Two, Three (S.R. Smut +18)

Summary: (Spencer Reid x Fem Reader) Spencer comes home, after a long week of being away, with a bag full of (sexy) surprises.

Content Warnings: Sex toy use, praise kink, dirty talk, mutual self pleasure, coming undone, overstimulation, very light submissive (Reader) dominant (Spencer) dynamics, talk of anal sex & pegging

Word Count: 3.3K

Note: This is one that I have had saved in my drafts for a very long time! And I just had the inspiration to finish it a couple days ago.

Testing One, Two, Three

It wasn’t strange for Spencer to make trips to the grocery store, to the used bookstore, or the pharmacy before making his way back to Y/N’s storybook Tudor home after work.

This evening proved to be not unlike the others. Spencer, driving his powder blue Volvo pulls into Y/N’s driveway. She watches from the windows as he takes out his satchel, his overnight bag, and other large black shopping bags. It didn’t look like it was from the grocery store and their local bookstore didn’t give customers plastic bags. Curious, Y/N unlocks the door for Spencer, deciding to meet him at her front stoop instead of in the kitchen or the hallway like normal.

“Hey there, love,” Spencer says, the nickname brushing off his lips with ease. He looks tired and worn down. Y/N thinks that traveling through two different time zones and not getting enough sleep is a way to do that to a person, but she decides she’ll keep that to herself and just usher Spencer to bed earlier tonight.

“Oh, Spence. I really missed you,” she confesses, breathing in his familiar scent. It's a little different. He smells like cheap hotel shampoo and stale coffee, not like his usual minty and green tea body wash and expensive coffee beans. 

Spencer sighs into her neck, swaying slightly as he holds Y/N in his arms on her front stoop. His bags, even the mysterious black on, lay neglected on the ground by their feet.

“I know, Y/N. I know, sweetheart,” he reassures, rubbing his hand up and down her back in a comforting gesture. “I got you something. Well, really it’s for us. But for you, mostly I suppose,” 

“You’re acting clingy and squirrely,” she assesses, leaning back to look at Spencer’s unreadable face. He simply shrugs, as if to say you’ll find out when you find out. 

“I need caffeine,” Spencer remarks, as he insists on carrying all the bags into the house by himself, “And something comfy to wear. I’ve been in this shirt for the last two days. There was a break in the case 41 hours in and we couldn’t break for the hotel. It was too out of the way,” 

“Oh my poor boy,” Y/N exclaims, helping Spencer shed his cardigan and standing with him as he takes his shoes off, “What about a nice hot shower and then some leftovers. I made chickpea curry last night. We have leftover rice and garlic naan, too,” she offers. 

Spencer, offering his thanks, grabs at his tie. His shoulders tense with exhaustion and something unreadable. He’s not usually mysterious. Usually, Spencer’s nothing but an open book. 

“You alright?” Y/N asks, doling out the portion of chickpeas and rice on the delicately decorated plates she received for her 25th birthday. 

“Fine,” Spencer says, clipped and detached. 

So unlike him. 

“Hmm. Well how was work? Anything interesting happen?” Y/N asks, attempting to spark conversation with her boyfriend. They’ve only been dating for a solid five months; enough time for whatever it was to have run its course. If Y/N didn’t know any better than she should expect herself to be circling the drain tonight along with dishes that would certainly be neglected for a pint of Java Chip. 

“Fine,” Spencer says, nodding thanks for the plate of food. He shovels in a couple bites, seemingly uninterested in continuing the conversation. 

So unlike him. 

Usually, Spencer would be clamoring to talk to her. It wasn’t too long ago that they spent long nights sharing a bottle of red and talking about everything from books to movies to the meaning of life. 

“Alright, Spencer. Cut the crap. Are you breaking up with me? Because if you are–?” 

Shock washes over Spencer’s face. And he doesn’t wear it well. He does a spit take and it’s nearly as foolish as it looks like in movies. Spencer’s eyes grow about three sizes bigger. 

“What? Break up with you? God, no,” he stammers, the sentiment clear although his efforts lacked clarity. 

“Okay.” Y/N says, tossing Spencer a napkin to mop up his mess of curry and water. “Good to know. But why are you acting so….squirrely?” 

Shifting in his seat, Spencer attempts to remain calm. His eyes, a honey brown with a cool brown rim, flit to the mysterious bag he brought in from his car. It was as if she could hear the whirring of the gears clicking into place. She follows his gaze to the bag. 

“You bought something. Something that you’re either nervous about or embarrassed? So it can’t be books. And it’s not something innocuous like a throw blanket or pie dish. And judging by your breathing growing heavy, it’s something….salacious.” 

Spencer’s thin upper lip twitches with delight. He hums, neither confirming nor denying her claims. His eyes flicker with playfulness, a contrast to moments ago when Spencer’s eyes flooded with fear and shock.

“You’re smart.” Spencer concludes, smiling with knives. He stands to presumably grab the black bag that has caused so much intrigue. “Should have been a profiler with a mind like yours.” 

“I’ll stick to what I know.” Y/N tells him, her interest in the bag only growing 

when Spencer places it in front of her on the table. “Let me guess, we’re at the stage in our relationship where you can buy me sexy underwear without it looking like you’re sleaze,” 

Chortling, Spencer blushes profusely. His feeble attempts at hiding the bag's contents fail miserably as they only pique Y/N’s interest. His eyes are wide with wonder and anticipation in the kitchen light. 

“It’s not lingerie.” 

“Alright, well whatever it is, Spencer I’m sure I’ll love it. You’re being so jumpy, it’s making me think you’ve got some really kinky sex toy in here,” she says, reaching her hand into the bag to finally examine its contents. She’s good at reading faces. From the old man who reads French Literature on the Metro to the young barista at the local coffee shop, Y/N, like even Spencer admitted, is pretty well versed at reading people. Which is why, for a split second she reads pure terror in Spencer’s eyes. 

“Oh shit,” she says, turning the box in her hand and reading the label. “You bought me a wand?” Her voice goes up an octave as if she’s just realizing what she’s holding in her hands. 

Spencer, now thoroughly, embarrassed, covers his face with his hand. His cheeks are tinged a lovely pink and he peeks through his fingers, apparently still eager. “Will you kill me if I say that’s not the only thing in there?” 

“Spencer Reid!” she shouts, slapping his hands on the table with glee and excitement. It was the very thought of Spencer Reid in a sex shop that sent both shivers down her spine, like an electric shock and shock waves of laughter through her system. “You went into a sex shop.” 

“Yes, Y/N,” Spencer contends, his tone playful enough, “But please continue your teasing. We’ll see how cocky you’ll be when you’re on the receiving end of 5000 RPMS. And that’s the lowest setting,” 

“Is that a threat?” Y/N asks, leaning in closer to Spencer. Her cleavage is eye level to Spencer’s line of vision. His eyes dart there to the bag and back to her eyes. 

He shakes his head. “A promise. Continue,” Spencer instructs, pointing towards the bag. She listens, fishing her hand in the large bag.

“That’s a clitoral stimulator.” Spencer explains, “The website I got recommendations from says that it simulates oral sex. It has eleven settings,” he continues, watching as Y/N’s eyes grow big at the thought of the toy in her hands. 

“Hmm, eleven?” she muses, putting it down next to the menacing looking hitachi wand.

“Another one? Spencer, how much money did you spend on toys?” she says aghast as she takes out yet another item from the bag. 

“It’s a Lush vibrator.” Spencer explains, waving off Y/N’s concerns for his wallet. “It’s actually connected to my phone. That means I can control it, even when we’re apart. Which, considering how much we’re apart, just might come in handy.” 

“This must have cost a lot of money.” Y/N speculates, staring at the three presents facing her on the countertop. “You really didn’t have to. You really shouldn’t–” 

“Y/N,” Spencer says, her name sounding deadly in his breathy timber, “It’s my job to make sure you’re satisfied. And I thought it would be a little fun to bring in some…reinforcements.” 

“That’s certainly more forward thinking than my last boyfriend. He was under the assumption that toys stole his thunder. But between you and me, and like every other woman he slept with, it’s probably because he hardly ever made me finish.” 

“Really?” Spencer says, looking shocked. “And he was still insecure about bringing toys into the bedroom?” 

Laughing, Y/N tosses her head back in a chortle. There was something endearing about Spencer’s genuine shock. 

 Spencer, looking half bemused and half proud, shifts in his seat. “So are we going to test them out or what?” 

Twenty minutes later, they were both in her bed. Y/N, on her back, with her feet planted firmly on the bed, watches as Spencer studies her carefully. Sweat pools in her cleavage and she grabs the sheets, needing something to grip as yet another wave of pleasure washes over her body. He had already coaxed an orgasm out of her with the clitoral stimulator. 

Spencer, fully dressed, holds the wand against her. He has a notebook to her left with small scribbles of notes detailing how fast she’s edged with each different toy. His scribbles, messy and disorganized at best, grow increasingly illegible. Spencer’s creases his brow, a sign of his intense determination, and is fuzzy as Y/N gazes down at him. She watches his look of stoic concentration, something that she finds entirely too attractive. But considering he plans on bringing her to climax time and time again tonight, she’ll give into her flights of fancy. 

“Think you like this one.” Spencer comments. He switches the wand to his less dominant, but still skillful hand to make notes on the pad. A self-satisfied smirk grows on his face, a sign that he’s enjoying this more than he’s letting on. 

“It’s really good.” she says, her voice betraying her already limited resolve. Spencer’s fingers lie casually on her thighs, searing marks into her legs that vaporize her skin. When he touches her it’s like her limb liquifies and her skin melts. She wants his fingerprints to sear into her skin, finally becoming part of her. 

“Yeah,” Spencer asks, a sarcastic smirk playing on the corner of his mouth, “Tell me more, sweetheart. Tell me how good it feels.” 

Spencer’s words are punctuated by the head of the toy rolling against her clit. He never keeps it in one place longer than a couple of seconds, either not wanting to overstimulate her too soon or to keep her on her toes longer for him. 

“It feels so…good. Better than it used to. Before I had you,” she stammers, the words clunky in her mouth as she concentrates on Spencer’s deft hand at her core and his warm lips against her neck. 

“That’s right, sweetheart. Before you had me to keep you nice and full, you had to use things like this. But I’m gone too often for you. I need to know my sweet girl is taken care of. So we’re going to test all of these toys out tonight. Till you’re drippy little mess, begging for me to finally fuck you.” 

Spencer’s sloppy kisses climb the slope of Y/N’s neck. He leaves whisper-wishes into the nooks of her skin, each one filled with promises and love. It’s a stark contrast; the sweet kisses to his hand that holds the vibrator: the bane of her undoing. 

“You know Hitachi wands are excellent for clitoral stimulation. This one has only one vibration pattern, but eight different speeds. Now that sounds like a challenge. And one that I’d like to break.” 

Y/N’s brow furrows as she gazes at Spencer with a deep concentration. He breathes against her neck, a trail full of wet kisses plotting their revenge against her sensitive skin. Spencer’s fingers hold the wand deftly as he concentrates the sensation against her clit. Y/N’s feet move up the bed, dragging the crocheted blanket with them. 

“Holy shit, Spence!” Y/N curses, her breath bated as the wand’s vibrations kick up a couple of levels. 

“That’s my girl. You like the fourth setting. Remember that, baby,” Spencer says, his lips curved into a proud smile as Y/N’s hips jut upwards in tandem with the toy, “Just like that, Y/N. I can tell you’re close. Give me another. One’s not enough for my greedy girl. And who am I to deny such a pretty face and a wet pussy. It’s all mine after all.” 

She feels the wand leave her clit and venture up to her stomach. Y/N’s muscles react like falling dominos at the sensation. She tenses as the vibrations shoot up and fry her nerves. Spencer licks his lips at the sight of her arousal sticking to her bare torso. He carefully dances the wand up to her nipples, watching with glee as they pebble even further in response to the vibrations. 

“One day I’ll give you an orgasm from just playing with these nipples. I’ll lick and kiss and suck on them till you’re dripping and begging for my cock to fill you up.” 

“Jesus, Spencer.” Y/N pants, her hips buckling as her climax reached its peak. “Can I come, please? Please let me come again? I need it so fucking bad, baby.” Her tongue peaks  out from her lips, wetting the surface as Spencer peered up at her. She grabs his collar to drag him up for a kiss just as she finally teetered off the edge, yet again. 

Spencer separates from the kiss, his lips puffy and red from Y/N’s frantic mouth. He smiles, gently caressing her head in a gesture that was entirely too sweet for their current situation. She feels Spencer’s erection in his pants; it had to be almost painful by now. 

“What was that two or three?” Y/N asks, a self-satisfied smirk plaguing her face. “I think we might set a record or something.” 

“That was two.” Spencer corrects. He takes more notes in his little notebook. “Of at least four or five. Depending on how much you beg later.” He slips off the bed and fishes through the bag. “Now, I think I have an idea for which I’d like to try next.” 

A bright pink silicone dildo with a flared based, freshly washed, lays in between them on the bed. Y/N raises her eyes in surprise. 

“Most men wouldn’t be too thrilled to have something other than their penis fuck their girlfriends, you know.” 

Spencer shrugs. “Yeah, but there’s a lot that we can do with it.” He claims, “Like double penetration or even, uh,” He blushes and stumbles over his next comment, “And pegging.” 

Y/N grins as an overwhelming sense of arousal washed over her. “Oh,” she says, skimming her fingers around Spencer’s neck. His skin is ridiculously soft, “we are so tabling that one for later. I would love to see you a mess for me instead.” 

Spencer grins. “Fuck, that’s good, Y/N. So good.” He kissed her forehead. “I wanna watch you ride it. Like you would my cock.” 

Y/N nods, as Spencer shifts on the bed, allowing for her to assume a crouched position. She looks at Spencer, his eyes laden with lust and love. He sits, legs spread in an attempt to accommodate his hardened erection in the old arm chair. He looks too good to be true, his cheeks are tinged with a blush, the dances that line between innocence and corruption. His notebook is forgotten, as he needs the entirety of his attention focused on the sight before him. 

“Good girl.” Spencer mutters, his hands resting on his thighs, but they twitch restlessly. It was as if he needs to physically hold himself back from ravishing Y/N at the sight of her crouched on her bed ready to fuck herself with a dildo her purchased for her. “Lower yourself on the toy. Give yourself an inch into your sweet little cunt.” 

His voice is deep, yet soft as he guided her pleasure expertly. She groans as the toy breaches her cunt, the full sensation is welcomed after the last hour of the wand and clit stimulator. 

“Don’t you wish it was your cock fucking my cunt, Spencer?” Y/N asks, her right hand wrapped around the flared base of the toy and the other holding herself up. Her abdominal muscles stunned with strain as her body remained in a crouched position, but the promise of release goaded her on. “You’re so hard, baby. I can see it from here. Don’t you want to touch yourself?” 

Spencer bites his lip. He nods as his hands undo his belt and his hips lift up enough so he can shimmy his pants and underwear to his knees. He wraps a hand around his cock, hard and glistening with arousal, and rubs upward with a tight fist. Spencer’s teeth dig into his bottom lip as he continues to watch Y/N lower herself onto the toy. 

“Give yourself another inch, sweetheart.” Spencer instructs as he fucked his fist. He swipes his thumb over the tip of his cock. “Fuck I wish it was your mouth or your pussy on my dick.” 

“God, you have the prettiest cock.” Y/N pants, the toy filling her up more and more as she sinks lower onto the base. “But now that we have this toy, maybe you can fuck my ass? I know you’d like that, baby.” 

“Dirty girl,” Spencer praises, a smile covering his face as Y/N’s thighs quiver, “Tell me does that toy fill you up nicely? I had to pick out the best one for my girl.” 

“Yes, yes,” Y/N answers, her voice rough and raw, “So good….I feel so full.” The pink dildo filled her cunt. 

“Good. Good.” Spencer says, his hand moving up and down his cock at a hastened pace. “Show me how you’ll ride it when I’m not here to fuck you, baby. Show me how you’ll fuck that tight cunt.” 

Spencer’s words provide the encouragement for Y/N to hoist herself up and down on the dildo. She would've laid flat on her back, a position that would have been easier on her thighs and core, but the angle she’s  able to reach makes the suffering all worth it. 

“Fuck…so good, Spencer. But I don’t think I can come from just this…it’s not…it’s not enough for me.” Y/N explains. Spencer knows that. He understands the science behind the female orgasm enough to know that many women are unable to reach climax from vaginal penetration only.

“I know, sweet girl. Don’t you worry.” He promises. “Bring your fingers to your clit

and give yourself some nice tight circles.” 

She listens. Her fingers draw tight circles around her clit. Y/N bites her lip as she feels her pleasure build and build. “So good. So good.” 

“I know, I know. Grind against the heel of your hand. You go wild when I do that, love. Like a little fucking minx. You can’t get enough.” 

The tension builds in her stomach as she grinds against the heel of her hand. Cursing, Spencer watches with lust-laden eyes as Y/N writhes on the bed. Sweat forms against her brow as her feet dig into the mattress and her thighs burn in exhaustion. Until she finally feels that familiar burst of pleasure release. 

“Fuck, fuck,” She curses, so caught up in her own pleasure the room seemed to spin around her. “I–I…Spencer, I’m coming.” 

Her release washes over her as she slumps down into the bed, finally spent with all her energy expended. She can barely hear Spencer shuffle over, nearly tripping over his feet since his pants remained gathered around his ankles. 

“Holy shit.” Spencer curses. “That was the most sensual thing I’ve ever seen.” He looks at her with half awe and half love. He pulls his underwear back up and kicks his pants off as he sits on the bed. “Are you alright, babe?”

Y/N groans, her cunt is raw with overstimulation and it is like every single nerve in her body is lit on fire in the best way possible. She offers Spencer a weak thumbs up that morphed into an equally weak fist bump. He obliged and gave Y/N a sweet forehead kiss in return. 

“So toys are a plus for us,” Spencer muses. He adjusts the pillows on the bed and helps Y/N sit up in a more comfortable position. “Thank you for this. I really enjoyed it. And I’m, you know, glad you’ll be occupied when I’m gone.” 

Y/N’s face flushes as a warmth resembling love covers her entire being. “I should be the one thanking you,” she counters, “Wait…I didn’t get you off.” She says, sitting up and then failing as her tired body gave out. 

“That’s a problem you already took care of,” Spencer protests, gesturing to his stained underwear. “I had already come untouched by the time you told me to touch myself. You put on quite the show, sweetheart.” 

She raises her eyes in disbelief as Spencer chuckles and kisses her cheek. “I’m glad you found that equally pleasurable. I don't think I’ve ever come as hard as I just did. And I doubt it’ll ever happen again.” She rises from the bed, with the help of Spencer. He grabs her waist as they make their way into her bathroom.

“Is that a challenge?” Spencer says, with a cocky smirk

“Fuck yeah it is,” Y/N said, “but I think I need like three weeks to recover.” 

Thank you for reading! Please remember, I appreciate you reading, reflagging, and commenting on all of my fics. I love your feedback and appreciate your support & community more than you'll ever know.

Tag List (I don't want to bother anyone, so just tagging people I mainly interact with)

@reidsbookclub @foxy-eva @reid-ingandweeping @boldlyvoid

[belle-keys]

My Year of (Educational) Podcasts

I spent 12,000 minutes this year listening to podcasts according to Spotify. No, I do not listen to alphamale or girlboss or true crime podcasts– I mostly listen to history, philosophy, and literature podcasts i.e. educational podcasts. Here are 12 fun, well-executed podcasts I’d recommend if you’d like to learn more about your favourite (Humanities and Social Sciences) topics.

Betwixt The Sheets: The History of Sex, Scandal & Society. This is a podcast about the history of sex and sexuality. The podcast pays special attention to overlooked aspects of queer history, pop culture, and cultural superstitions. The love life and sex life of historical and artistic figures are also discussed with historians.

Dan Snow's History Hit. This podcasts discusses the most exciting and culturally relevant historical events and figures with expert panel guests. Clears up historical misconceptions and deals with the most interesting topics in an engaging way.

Occult Confessions. This podcast is about the history of the occult, witches, folklore, magicians, and conspiracies. There are discussions of folklore, religious history, and cults. The themes are dark but quite fascinating.

Intelligence Squared. This podcast is centered on cultural and academic debates and deep-dives into polemical topics among top UK experts. I really enjoy their episodes about writers, art, and artists.

The History of Literature. This is about, well, the history of literature i.e. the contexts that created impressive writers, literary movements, and literary works. It also debates and critically discusses classic works.

The Korea File. Y'all know I love kpop and kdramas and by extension, am quite fascinated by Korean culture and society given how much I interact with Korean media. This podcast, produced by a couple of Korean guys, critically explores Korean media, culture, society, and history.

Not Just the Tudors. A fun history podcast that doesn't only cover English Tudor history, but definitely covers a whole damn lot of English Tudor history. Mainly focuses on 13th-17th century global history.

Classical Stuff You Should Know. A podcast about the classical world, the Western Canon, and world philosophy. Discussions of the classics are in conversational layman terms. Topics not restricted to the Graeco-Roman world.

Why Theory. A podcast that uses philosophy and psychological theory to examine culture, history, art and human behavior. Lots of pertinent contemporary social topics are discussed.

Brown History. A podcast about South Asia and "brown" Asian demographics. A wide range of topics, from Pakistani history to the Indian diaspora to Afghan migration to the colonization of India by Great Britain.

Philosophize This!. This podcast covers philosophy, philosophies, and philosophers. I highly recommend listening to the episodes in order as much as possible. Breaks down the complex philosophical ideas using simple terms.

The Thing About Austen. This is a podcast about the world of Jane Austen from the time period to the people to the culture which influenced her big literary hits. Hits that sweet spot between literature and history in a creative way. Recommend for all the Pride and Prejudice (2005) fanatics.

[thetudorsedits]

THE TUDORS (2007-2010) | 2x05

Why? ... Why can he not be like others? Why does he have to cross me? Why can his vanity be greater than a king's? It troubles me. It weighs on my conscience, and my heart is full, and heavy and sore. I say this only to you. I confess only to you. I LOVE HIM. AND I HATE HIM. I hate in equal measure to my love, for he is the spirit that denies. It is up to you to judge whether or not he be on my conscience."

[glennk56]

Martyn Ellis. (2 of 2) photos from 2010 - 2022.

PHOTOS

1. 2010/May. The Tudors 4;6

2 - 4. 2014/Apr. The Smoke 1;8 (first photo is a publicity photo)

5. 2016/July. Agatha Raisin 1;6

6 - 8. 2017/Apr. Decline and Fall 1;2 (British 3 episode mini-series)

            (Pictured with Jack Whitehall)

9 - 10. 2017/May The Last Kingdom 2;1

11 - 12. 2017/May. Father Brown 6;3

13. 2019/May. Catch-22 (USA 6 episode mini-series)

14. 2019/Sept. A Confession 1;1 (British 6 episode mini-series)

15 - 16. 2019/Nov. The Accident 1;3 (British 4 episode mini-series)

17. 2021/Feb. It’s a Sin 1;3 (British 5 episode mini-series)

18. 2022/Apr. Why Didn’t They Ask Evans 1;1 (UK-US 3 episode mini-series)

[strugglingwriterwattpad]

walter deville teaser

In the magnificent ballroom of a majestic Tudor manor, a spellbinding scene unfolds. Bathed in the soft glow of candlelight, a mysterious woman glided across the polished floor, her movements as graceful as a swan. The haunting melody that filled the air seemed to possess her, guiding her every step between each guest. In the depths of the shadows, a figure stood, his presence both alluring and enigmatic. His face remained concealed, adding an air of intrigue to his already captivating aura. Their eyes locked, two souls drawn together by an invisible force, and the world around them faded into insignificance.

As the music swelled, reaching its crescendo, the stranger took a bold step forward. His voice, filled with a whisper of longing, broke the silence, confessing a love that seems to transcend time itself. “you have no idea how much I love you, Miss Stoker.” The woman's heart raced, her breath catching in her throat, as she was swept away by the intensity of his words.

In the moment frozen in time, their lips finally met in a passionate kiss. It was a collision of desire and longing, a union of souls that defied explanation. But as their embrace deepened, a peculiar taste lingered on the woman's tongue, a metallic tang that sent a shiver down her spine. Suddenly, a surge of curiosity mixed with a hint of fear flooded her heart. The taste of blood upon his lips was unmistakable, a jarring contrast to the tender moment they shared. Questions swirled in her mind, like whispers in the wind. Who was this faceless man? “(Y/N)?” he whispered. “(Y/N)?”

With a sudden jolt, the woman catapulted out of her seat, causing Evie to quickly reach for her pills. "We've landed," Evie whispered, handing her boss a pill with a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry about it," she added, noticing the beads of sweat on her forehead. "Oliver's waiting for us, let's go!" with a nod of her head (Y/N) slowly stood from her seat.

“So, who lives here again?” Evie asked as (Y/N) sat in the car, cruising along the secluded roads on the outskirts of Whitby, she couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia. The ever-changing weather, a characteristic she had missed dearly, played its whimsical game once again. One moment, the sky was a brilliant canvas of blue, devoid of any clouds, and the next, it transformed into a murky grey, with gusts of wind that seemed to dance through the air. “The De Ville family.” As they continued their journey, (Y/N)'s gaze was drawn to the enchanting woodland that enveloped their family estate. It was as if nature had painted a masterpiece, with emerald green shades blending seamlessly into fern green's vibrant hues. The lushness of the trees and foliage created a mesmerizing tapestry, inviting her to explore its hidden secrets. “But our family will be staying the weekend for the festivities.”

“Holy shit. are they royalty or something?” as the manor came into view (Y/N) felt a sense of familiarity. Nestled amidst a sprawling landscape, stood an opulent white brick mansion exuding an aura of wealth and influence. Its majesty matched only by the pristine gardens that surrounded it, meticulously manicured to perfection. Every corner of the magnificent abode reflected the abundance of riches it houses, while the walls remained untouched by even the tiniest speck of dirt. “No, it's just old money. England's full of it.” the artist knew something felt strange about the manor. It felt like home to her, and she couldn’t tell if she liked it or not.

“Welcome to New Carfax Abbey. Let me find our host.” As Oliver wandered off to find the owner (Y/N) also started to wander around the outside of the beautiful building. As she approached the entrance, the pillar carvings beckoned to her with an irresistible allure. Intricate and mesmerizing, they depicted a whimsical dance of enchanting forest creatures, each one brought to life in the bleached stone. These were no ordinary animals; they were the very same majestic beings she had encountered in her adventures. The sight filled her with an overwhelming sense of wonder and curiosity, igniting a fire within her. She yearned for the owner's permission to document every intricate detail, to capture the essence of this extraordinary building. Her excitement surged through her veins, as her mind raced with a flood of ideas, eager to be transformed into words on paper.

“I hope you don’t mind I brought a friend with me, Lord Deville,” Evie spoke pointing towards (Y/N) as she traced the pillar with her manicured nails. “(Y/N).” She called out but the girl seemed to ignore her. evie and the lord watched her closely, the rich gentleman listened to her breathing slow down as if slipping into a trance. “(Y/N)!” Evie called once again but still no reply. As the man gracefully approached the mesmerized woman, his presence seemed to cast a spell of intrigue. With a gentle touch, his large hand found its place on her shoulder, as if to guide her deeper into the enchanting world of his home. And there she stood, lost in a trance, her gaze fixated on the captivating artwork that adorned the brick. “miss are you alright.” His voice as smooth as milk snapped her from her brain her twinkling eyes locking with his stormy ones. The two matched their gaze smiling lightly at the sense of familiarity of each other.

“I'm sorry were you both calling me?” she stuttered looking towards Evie was an embarrassed look. “don’t worry (Y/N) your probably jet lagged.” She laughed picking up the poor girl's bag from the ground. “Walter, this is (Y/N). the artist I was telling you about.” The man now known as Walter stared back at (Y/N) his storm eyes now swapped with a flash of light of excitement. “it’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Stoker. I am a very big fan of your work. obviously.” The sun-kissed hue of his skin suddenly blushed with a fiery red, as if caught off guard by his own rambling. It was almost endearing to witness him in such a vulnerable state as if his emotions were laid bare for all to see. But there was no denying the transformative power of the new face that had entered his life, for it had swiftly altered his entire demeanour. “I'm glad you enjoyed them Mr Deville and thank you for the generous donation to the gallery I can assure you there are big plans for it.” his smile couldn’t get any bigger, but it did. The sound of her voice lulled his heart into a stuttering beat as if it had been out of service for many moons.

“come let me show you around the manor. I hope you like how I've displayed your art.” His cotton-covered arm poked out to her as an invitation to his home. She slowly slipped her arm into his feeling a familiar spark ignite in their touch. His smell was so calming and alluring sending her into a high, her doing the same to him. Walter held her small hand in a comfortable tightness not wanting her to slip from him again.

[greatbritishsimchallenge]

"This is quite a feast, Lady Margaret."

"Yes, I must confess to being a great lover of food. It is not so much a question of how much, but what kind - I never seem able to pick and so the chef makes it all!"

Lady Catherine pursed her lips disapprovingly, "In the English Pure Faith, we believe that both gluttony and waste are great sins."

"Oh, but I would agree, Lady Catherine. That is why you need not eat beyond your hunger and anything we do not eat is enjoyed by the servants - tell me, how often do your servants dine on the finest food of their kingdom?"

Lady Catherine forced a polite smile and continued eating.

The door to the dining room opened and Margaret entered.

"Margaret!" scolded Catherine. "What are you doing here?"

"I... I was sent for, mama! I was told to come here for my dinner!"

"Indeed, ma cherie, and you are just in time. Please, take a seat where you please," smiled Lady Margaret.

"Excuse me, Lady Margaret, is that wholly appropriate? For a child to dine with us?"

Lady Margaret shrugged. "I always ate with my parents. Some of my happiest memories are being sat with them discussing art and literature while eating tarts and pies and all sorts." Margaret's voice trailed off dreamily, though it was not quite clear whether it was the memory of the conversation or the food that had her more enraptured.

"Well, in England, children eat with their governess - now, Margaret, off you go. Return to Lady Mary at once."

Without another word, Margaret turned on her heel and left as quickly as she had come.

Lady Margaret lowered her head politely, "I apologise for my mistake, Lady Catherine. Clearly the ways of England and Tartosa are more different than I had appreciated. I have only ever visited England once, and it was not for very long. I am therefore not familiar with your customs. Please, forgive me."

"Not at all, Lady Margaret. You have extended your hospitality to us with an unwavering generosity. A few cultural clashes are more than understandable, but I hope you will understand that I intend to raise my daughters the English way."

"Oui, bien sur! Though I hope you might allow me to help where I can?" asked Lady Margaret.

"'Help', Lady Margaret?" repeated Catherine, confused.

"Oui - you mentioned the governness. It must be very hard for her to manage two children of such different ages."

"Lady Mary is an excellent teacher and manages them both well."

"Oh, I did not mean to offend Lady Mary. I am sure she is superb. I just meant that I could support her while you are here."

"You would want to act as a governness?" asked Lady Catherine, confused that a Lady of such high estate would even consider taking on such a role.

"I would not see it in those terms, but I would like to be a mentor of sorts to Lady Margaret while she is here. I will leave raising her the 'English' way to you, of course, but I have my own knowledge to impart, I am sure."

"Is that so? I was given to believe that the Lords and Ladies of Europe viewed education as beneath them and valued one's ability to dance and make good conversation above any learning," replied Lady Catherine, a touch of smug superiority to her tone.

"Unfortunately, yes, that is the stance many take. But not my parents. They saw that I valued education most highly. Let me think... I speak seven languages, play piano, lute and vielle. My painting is not as impressive as my parents, but it is regarded well. I have multiple degrees in the sciences and arts and I am currently studying the history and law of Tartosa. Do you think any of that might be of use to your daughter?" Lady Margaret smiled politely, but her eyes had a playful glint to them, as if she had just moved a chess piece to checkmate against a cocky opponent.

Lady Catherine fought to hide how impressed she was, "I think perhaps, yes."

Start (Iron Age) | Start (Roman Britain) | Start (Anglo Saxon) | Start (Medieval) | Start (Tudor) | Start (Stuart)

Previous | Next

[goodnightmemes]

THE TUDORS SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTER (PART TWO)

s02e06 - s02e10

❛ Will you come to my bed tonight? ❜

❛ You are marrying into a great family. You will do it, whether you like it or not. Do you understand? ❜

❛ Something's going to happen to me. ❜

❛ Don't talk like this. Nothing is going to happen to you. ❜

❛ I'm unable to give a King a son; a son to be the living image of his father. ❜

❛ It's all right. Everything is going to be all right. Please don't cry. I love you. I'll look after you, I swear. ❜

❛ I like you and enjoy your company. But you have a reputation: you gamble and you whore. You sail close to the wind. God forbid it should ever blow you onto the rocks. ❜

❛ I have no doubt what so ever that Your Majesty's reign will always be remembered. ❜

❛ Are you amusing yourself at my expense? ❜

❛ I swear to you it will never happen again. I love you too much. I have no right to ask you to believe me. But it's true. ❜

❛ Is she one of your mistresses? How many do you have? What are their names? ❜

❛ Here's the truth: you must shut your eyes and endure like your betters have done before you. ❜

❛ How can you say that to me? Don't you know that I love you a thousand times more than [name] ever did! ❜

❛ Don't you know that I can drag you down as quickly as I raised you? ❜

❛ This is lucky you have your bed already, madam, because if you did not, I wouldn't give it to you again. ❜

❛ Listen to me. You're the Queen! For the love of God, act like it! ❜

❛ At least seem happy. Not a heap of misery! ❜

❛ It's been tasted. It's not poisonous. ❜

❛ I am not "your dear". I am nobody's "dear!" I am a woman and I demand equal respect for my ideas! ❜

❛ Why are you here? To see the degradation that we have been forced to? ❜

❛ You may kiss me. Then you will leave me alone. Forever. ❜

❛ Anyone can see that the King is not so much in love with her as he used to be. ❜

❛ All this time and you're still in love with her! ❜

❛ Let me look at you. There you are. I have not seen you for so long. An eternity. And here you are! ❜

❛If I had a son, it would bring about a golden world. ❜

❛You ought to be careful, or I will have you cropped at the neck. ❜

❛ I did not bring you up to have opinions or to express them or to quarrel with those closest to the Crown. ❜

❛ I am carrying the King's son. We are on the edge of a golden world! ❜

❛ I'm certainly aware there are some at court who would like to see the queen replaced. ❜

❛ I was married before and I must confess, I rather like the liberty of not being married again. ❜

❛ You have just come from another's bed. No. Do not deny it. ❜

❛ Sometimes, my love, I think that with you I'm already condemned to live in purgatory. ❜

❛ His heart is very weak. I don't know if he will come back to us. ❜

❛ In such a crisis, all could disintegrate. So the centre has to hold, and we must hold it. ❜

❛ You know, I cannot think whether it would be a bad thing or a good thing if he died. ❜

❛ As Lord Protector, you would ipso facto...be King, ❜

❛ Though you are still a young man...you're not as young as you used to be. ❜

❛ I'm so happy you're well. I was so alarmed, so afraid. ❜

❛ It was a mistake to think I could behave like I used to. In any case, those carefree days are gone. ❜

❛ In the future, I won't see you unless your other family members are present. I just had to see you now. ❜

❛ What is this? Just when my belly is doing its business...I find you wenching with Mistress [name]! ❜

❛ You've lost my boy. I cannot speak of it. The loss is too great. ❜

❛ I see now that God will not grant me any male children. ❜

❛ You have no one to blame but yourself for this. ❜

❛ Because the love I bear you is so great...it broke my heart to see you loved others. ❜

❛ It's true what they have whispered. I shut my ears to them, but now I know it to be true. ❜

❛ I will treasure this all my life. And if they ever open my grave, they will find it again, right next to my heart. ❜

❛ You have overreached yourself. Believe me, you have placed yourself in very great danger. ❜

❛ Do you assume I no longer possess the power to crush you? It would be an easy mistake to make. ❜

❛ The king cannot satisfy a woman. He has neither the skill, nor the virility. ❜

❛ We have come so far. No one is going to be allowed to destroy us. No one. Do you understand? ❜

❛ I think we should drink a toast to new beginnings and to new friendships and to a mutually beneficial future. ❜

❛ If your master wants to deal with me, he must first apologize for all his ill treatment of me in the past. ❜

❛ Princes are different from us and are not to be easily understood. ❜

❛ It's come to my notice that some acts of treason and other offenses have been committed by those we loved and trusted. By members of our own court. ❜

❛ I want to tell you in this slippery world, you represent for me all that is innocent, everything that is good, unsullied, uncorrupted. ❜

❛ If anything should happen to me...will you promise to care for my daughter? ❜

❛ Please. For the love you bear our child, have mercy. ❜

❛ After everything we've been to each other. After everything we were. Please. One more chance. ❜

❛ My enemies have poisoned the air with their horrid lies. ❜

❛ I pray God will help me, for there is no truth in these allegations. ❜

❛ Sometimes, in order to defeat evil, one must learn to consort with the devil. ❜

❛ When am I to die? ❜

❛ My lady, I am obliged to tell you that your marriage to the king has been declared null and void. ❜

❛ Tell them to ready the horses. But tell no one of our destination. ❜

❛ I hear you say I will not die before noon. I am sorry for it, for I thought to be dead by that time and past my pain. ❜

❛ Yes, I heard the executioner was very good. And in any case, I have only a little neck. ❜

❛ Have you ever killed someone? What did it feel like? ❜

❛ I would really like to see someone die. Can I go to the execution with you? ❜

❛ I want her dead. I want it over with. Finished. Go and do it or, by God's blood, you will join her. ❜

❛ I swear to you, from tomorrow, everything will be different. We will be young and merry as we used to be. ❜

❛ If you would take my advice for what it's worth find a rich man to marry who is too stupid to know anything about politics. Then perhaps - unless you die in childbirth, which is likely...or the plague, which is almost inevitable - then you will be happy. ❜

❛ Forgive me. It's just that I so much want a new beginning. A renaissance. Sometimes it is hard to be reminded of things. ❜

❛ Tell me, was it all worth it? ❜

[smolvenger]

Time for Carrie's Birthday Celebration Starting 01/07 and going on until 01/12!

Helloooooo friends! My birthday is January 10th (turning 29), so I thought we could do a little thing! Let's do a *drumroll* BIRTHDAY CELERATION SLEEPOVERRRRR!

A fun little light hearted thing!

Tell me about or send me these emojis for...

something you’re looking forward to!! 👀

about what you’re reading/watching 📖

your pet(s) <3 🐶🐱🐰🐹

your go to shoes/jacket/accessories 👟

ANYTHING!! 🕸

songs (rn or all time) 🎵

comfort film, show, or read (+ favorite scene) 🧸

animal (+ when’s the last time you saw one) 🐢

bad joke or reference (+ if you say it often) 🙊

FMK! 🍑🔪make me pick and I'l do the same for you

would you rather?

never have i ever… 🖐

MASH 🏡

confessions: 💭

Or ship me with someone or a character (if it ever gets to our boy, Loki, pick a specific era) and I'll ship one with YOU

I am also opening BLURBS based on several of these blorbos so give me a character or person and I will write a blurb based off of Fanfic/Book Tropes!

Characters I am willing to write for:

Loki (ofc)

President Loki

Jonathan Pine

Robert Laing

James Conrad

Prince Hal/Henry V

Sir Thomas Sharpe

Caius Martius Coriolanus

William Buxton

Professor! Tom Hiddleston

So pick one and one of the following BookTok/Fanfic tropes:

"Who did this to you?"

"My wife"

"Touch her and you die"

AU: Modern, Tudor, Regency/Austen/Bridgerton, anything

Arranged Marriage

Enemies to Lovers

Friends to Lovers

He falls first

First Date

Proposal

Wedding

First Baby

Love Confession

Meet Cute

Forced Proximity

And There Was One Bed!

Grumpy x Sunshine

With any of these, if you want, you CAN request the blurb be on the spicy side and I will oblige, heheheh

I don't know what my birthday will bring and I don't want to feel lonely or the pain of not accomplishing enough and getting older so let's make this a fun one!

@asgards-princess-of-mischief @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @fandxmslxt69 @skittslackoffilter @mischief2sarawr @loz-3 @liminalpebble

Masterlist for my works can be found here.

[historicconfessions]

[sassyfrassboss]

Yesterday we briefly talked about how Meghan was known to be charming towards men. Here's a video I recently watched on YouTube. It's by HG Tudor, and he describes the first time he met meghan, in 2016, and what he thought of her at the time.

https://youtu.be/Norru-2HByk

(hope the link works here. There's a series of about 8 videos, and there's more to come)

This first meetingwas in 2016 pre-harry. She was still looking for British men to date and in this video HG describes how he met her at a famous bar frequented by posh celeb and artsy types. She was with another lady journalist friend of hers who was a mutual aquaintance with Hg. And Meghan was quite keen on being set up with him. But her fake persona put him off.

HG is a self confessed narcissistic, who has never revealed his real identity to the public. So make of this video what you wish, but whats interesting to me is-

- the fake, over confident way she puts on her femme fatale persona.

- the vocal fry, which I'm assuming is her version of a low, deep, sexy but uncaring voice.

- how fixated she seemed with her suits character and her monologues about Rachel Zane's fashion.

- her utter desperation at being introduced to HG and if he wasn't interested, then to get an intro to 3/4 friends of his.

- the strange hold she has on their mutual friend Suzanna, who is acting as her match maker.

- the way she gets touchy feely with someone she is trying to seduce.

- how she fake laughs, and uses exaggerated hand gestures to attract attention of this random man (HG) from across the room once she decided that she wanted to get to know him/his circle.

I'm now guessing that she was like this towards most men she met with, if she decided she wanted to impress them. William, Charles, Harry obviously, Jason knauf, prince Phillip maybe. And this demeaner is very obvious to someone like William (or Charles and Phillip) who has been trained his whole life to spot a grifter. Or rather, someone who has been warned his whole life to stay away from spongers and users.

That's why William, even Catherine and the queen could see through her. Harry, who had his own agendas, didn't care.

If listened

There were times she was making eyes at William. In public. It was obvious that she wanted his attention. Even more obvious she hated Catherine because of William.

Thanks for the link! I am going to watch these tonight.

[racefortheironthrone]

I hope it’s not too presumptuous to ask you this but since you really are very knowledgeable in your field: is there like, a book or two laypeople can read to gain a better understanding of how medieval and renaissance governments worked that aren’t just general histories of the period? Something that really dives in deep to the stratifications of positions and their roles/responsibilities? I loved reading all the answers you replied to but i confess i don’t know all that much about grmm’s works aside from the occasional wiki read

Ah, if you're interested in specifically medieval and Renaissance governments, I would recommend the following books as a good place to start:

Elton's Tudor Revolution in Government.

M.V Clarke's The Medieval City-State.

Patton and Lawe ed., Communes and Despots in Medieval and Renaissance Italy.

Lauro Martines' Power and Imagination: City-States in Renaissance Italy.

Anthony Black, Political Thought in Europe 1240-1450.

[queenmarytudor]

Hello ! I was wondering on what is your take on the false pregnancies of Mary Tudor . Do you think that she had a miscarriage early on her pregnancy? Or do you think it was an actual phantom pregnancy.

I tend to think she had an early miscarriage in 1555 that manifested as a phantom pregnancy for a few reasons.

It's shown in various different sources that Mary is reluctant throughout her 'pregnancy 'to confirm it's real.

An English ambassador told the Emperor in November that Mary "will not confess the matter until it is proved to her face" and it's only around Christmas Mary acknowledges that "As for that child which I carry in my belly, I declare it to be alive.” Carole Levin points out it's a strange word choice and I agree.

The biggest piece of evidence is at the beginning of May in my opinion. When the court are awaiting her child's birth, it's recorded that "according to her count it would not be strange if her delivery were to be delayed until the 6th of June."

Mary herself seemed to think she was a month behind her pregnancy then everyone else and there must be a reason for that.

We know she was recorded as being ill in mid September: "I have noticed her feeling sick (or seen her being sick) besides which her doctor has given me positive assurance, saying that if it were not true all the signs described by physicians would prove to be fallacious." I don't find it hard to believe Mary found herself nauseous and bleeding and thought it was a late period (it's well known she suffered badly with menstruation) or an early miscarriage, while her optimistic ladies and doctors handwaved it all away as usual symptoms of pregnancy, which are real and common.

With the altered hormones in Mary's body it would lead to her still producing pregnancy symptoms for a while (you can still produce them several weeks after miscarrying). I think this is likely what led her to later believe she was pregnant after all, but due after everyone else expected.

It's 9 months from October to June, when Mary believed she was due...

This is all my personal theory, but to me this explains her initial unsurety, the peculiar wording declaring she's not just pregnant but the babe in her belly is "alive", and her miscounting the dates compared to everyone else.

As for the 1557/8 I'm less sure of that just because there's hardly any information about it. It seems again Mary, despite her portrayal in media, was not certain of the pregnancy because she delayed informing Philip until what she thought was the seventh month.

[annabolinas]

Anne of the Thousand Days Review: Part 2

Alright, here's part 2! Spoiler alert but this movie has some shockingly regressive views about women... no, not just by the male characters in it.

Absurdities only mount as Henry visits Anne in person in her Tower cell and offers to let her live and have custody of Elizabeth if she agrees to an annulment. Anne utterly refuses; while this is completely the opposite of what the real Anne did, this is an understandable deviation, as it is more straightforwardly heroic. Anne lying that she committed adultery with “half your court���, though, is not only baffling, but an insult to the real Anne’s memory. I know that sounds harsh, but bear with me. In the movie, Anne seems to fling this lie at Henry to wound his fragile masculinity, as seen in her remark that he should “look, for the rest of your life, at every man that ever knew me and wonder if I didn’t find them a better man than you!” But Anne shifts far too rapidly from crying out at her trial, “They were innocent as I am innocent! Any man, no matter who he is, who says the contrary, is a liar!”, to freely lying and stating that she’s an adulteress. There’s no buildup, no rhyme or reason that the audience can see as to why she would do such a thing. Moreover, the real Anne never confessed to adultery, twice swearing on the Eucharist that she was innocent of all charges. Anne of the Thousand Days’ portrayal of its Anne as flippantly and falsely confessing to adultery and incest undermines her real-life courage and bravery in maintaining the truth until the end, even on peril of her soul’s damnation. It’s incredibly disrespectful, to say the least.

Above all, the movie fails on an emotional level. Not only does it sag in the middle with its pacing and excitement, but it fails to create a compelling or believable relationship between Anne and Henry, the movie’s two leads. The marketing for this movie played up its romantic aspects, even if it is really more reminiscent of a boss sexually harassing young female interns; its poster reads, ‘He was King. She was barely 18. And in their thousand days they played out the most passionate and shocking love story in history!” However, the movie fails to convince audiences of a core part of its story - the romance, let alone the believability of Henry and Anne’s relationship. There are usually two ways adaptations go with Henry and Anne’s relationship. They either have Henry and Anne, after some point, have a genuinely loving relationship until it goes horribly wrong (e.g.  The Tudors, Blood, Sex, & Royalty) or portray Anne as stringing Henry along to win a crown (e.g. Henry VIII and His Six Wives (1972), The Other Boleyn Girl, Wolf Hall to an extent). Anne of the Thousand Days takes a third choice and goes the route of portraying Henry as sexually harassing an initially quite unwilling Anne. Henry’s attraction to Anne is never explained, as in the first scene (chronologically), he’s drawn to her before she says a word, even ordering Wolsey to break her romance with Percy. Why? Is it just because he wants her in his bed? After all, Henry declares at one point that he’s never been refused by a woman; maybe he finds the challenge exhilarating. But if so, why does he remain fixated with her after she insults his words and poetry, even though he says there’s no better way to end his interest than by doing that? Indeed, Anne later says that Henry wants to know whether she’s guilty because “that would touch your manhood and your pride”, indicating that he is touchy about such subjects. Apparently, though, he’s not sensitive enough to abandon Anne after she blasts every part of his personality at the start of their courtship. Why does he still try to woo her for six years, throughout which Henry admits that “Not once have you said, ‘I love you’”? To be clear, it’s not an impossible scenario, but it is perhaps the farthest thing from romance imaginable.

In other words, what are we supposed to think of Henry and Anne’s relationship? Far from being a passionate romance turned toxic, Anne of the Thousand Days portrays a toxic relationship driven by lust on Henry’s part and ambition on Anne’s part, a relationship where supposedly, they only love each other for one day. Such a characterization of any relationship, let alone the fascinating and complex one of the real Henry and Anne, would be too reductive. Henry starting to hate Anne immediately after she falls for him not only is too simplistic for viewers, but not even supported by the movie. Henry continues to love Anne and behave affectionately towards her after they sleep together until she gives birth to Elizabeth, meaning there are at least nine months of mutual love between them in the movie’s timeline! 

Even the ending of Anne of the Thousand Days, despite its seemingly-empowering voiceover of Anne narrating how Elizabeth will be a great queen, is hampered by an unwillingness to face the full tragedy of her death. In real life, Anne was at most 35 when she was beheaded on false charges, and in the timeline of the movie, she’s around 29, following the 1507 birth date. Anne’s death is presented as poignant, as she remarks on the May flowers growing just as she did on her coronation day. But the absence of her execution speech, in what I can only assume is an attempt to highlight its somber brutality, is in fact borderline disrespectful to the real woman. While unlike Anne Boleyn (2021), this film does not purport to present Anne’s side of the story through a feminist lens, it is still galling that in place of the real Anne’s words, the writers inserted a fictitious monologue about Elizabeth’s greatness, which the real Anne could never have known! The real Anne Boleyn was a highly intelligent, ambitious, and reform-minded queen executed by her husband on false charges. Not only was her death, along with the deaths of the five men accused with her (never mentioned in the film!) a grave miscarriage of justice, but it was a tragedy. Much of its tragic nature derives from the fact that Anne left her toddler daughter, as far as she knew, dependent on the whims of her father and a bastard. There is no way she could have known, that anyone could have known, that Elizabeth would become queen. Anne of the Thousand Days giving Anne this knowledge makes sense out of a senseless, brutal demise, almost implying that there was a silver lining to Anne’s death because her daughter became queen.

It once again defines a woman by her reproductive history, and the film follows in a long tradition of claiming Anne’s real worth lay in her womb and the great queen it produced, her tragic downfall notwithstanding. Despite its ostensible focus on Anne Boleyn, the movie, like so many films then before and since, fails to understand - arguably, does not try to understand - historical women like Anne on their own terms. Women, in this mindset, must always be defined by their relation to a man or an exceptional woman. It’s not enough that Anne was an exceptional woman in her own right, that women are inherently important on their own, not by virtue of their family. Anne of the Thousand Days, at a time when cinema was pioneering in so many ways, is rigidly traditional in its views of women. Dramatic license with history needs to both fulfill a satisfying dramatic aim and at least be in contact with the facts; Anne of the Thousand Days’ portrayal of its titular queen’s death fails on both counts.

Needless to say, I didn’t like this movie. Its costumes, sumptuous pageantry, and strong performances from Genevieve Bujold as Anne, Anthony Quayle as Wolsey, and John Colicos as Cromwell, cannot make up for the fact that the rest of the film’s parts are either mediocre or simply bad. Why then do so many people think fondly not just of Genevieve Bujold’s Anne, but also this movie? Part of it must be nostalgia - it would have gained a special place in the hearts of Tudor fans who grew up in 1969 and the following decade. Its accessibility for purchase on platforms like Amazon Prime, Apple TV, and Youtube, also meant it gained more popularity than the far superior 1970 BBC miniseries The Six Wives of Henry VIII, which is only available on DVD and the platform Britbox. But I’ve argued in this review that Anne of the Thousand Days is just as inaccurate as more scorned depictions like The Tudors; in fact, I firmly believe that on the whole, Anne of the Thousand Days has more inaccuracies in its plot and characterization than The Tudors! Why, then, in spite of its major inaccuracies, does Anne of the Thousand Days retain a reputation for authenticity? 

The fact Jonathan Rhys Meyers looks nothing like Henry VIII in The Tudors and has little of the real king’s imposing majesty is surely part of it. More to the point, though, The Tudors’ propensity towards sex and nudity in its first two seasons meant it seemed louche and vulgar compared to the sober and slow-paced Anne of the Thousand Days. If Natalie Dormer’s Anne was criminally overlooked by critics because of her show’s disreputable appearance, then the opposite has occurred with this movie. Genevieve Bujold’s great performance has managed to elevate a quite mediocre and often horribly reductive movie into the hallowed halls of the Period Drama Pantheon. It’s time for a broader reappraisal of this movie: one which dethrones it for good.