#tw angst

[cecilioque]

[The Boiling Point]

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Everyone has a limit. When the most patient of people break, something is wrong. They don't want to be mean, but you grind them down and exhaustion and frustration will boil over. Let's hope that they can calm down.

[incorrectbatfam]

How small must the world be for both Bruce and Tim to witness John and Mary Grayson's deaths

Or for 10-year-old Duke to crack the Riddler's puzzle before Batman swoops in and saves the day, long before his powers came into play

Or for Sheila Haywood to leave her son only to end up assisting his killer a decade and a half later

Not to mention the popular fanon concept of Jason knowing baby Damian in the League of Assassins

Now imagine how many other invisible strings could've tied them together

Like what if Tim and Jason went to the same school when Jason was Robin but all they shared was the occasional bump and "excuse me" in the busy halls

Or what if Babs was a tutor and helped an elementary-aged Steph finally understand her homework only for the Browns to cancel after a couple sessions because they couldn't afford it

What if the first person to buy Cass a hot meal was Kate on one of her travels

What if Alfred witnessed young Selina shoplifting groceries but chose to turn a blind eye

What if Jason lived on the same streets as the Row siblings and gave little Harper tips on how to use tools and defend her brother

What if Steph and Duke shared the same school bus, only he sat in the front while she was toward the back

What if the first person to teach Tim how to tie his shoes was Bruce at a gala because Jack and Janet were busy talking to someone important

What if Bette did a DNA test for fun and found a connection in Nanda Parbat but just assumed the results was faulty because she knew her whole family, right?

What if 8-year-old Dick, the day before his parents died, stayed at a cheap hotel near Crime Alley and found 4-year-old Jason wandering alone and said, "I'll be your big brother for tonight"

What if the universe knew they were made for each other and wouldn't rest until they realized it too

[cheesecakethots]

“Whore.”

You could’ve sworn the teacup in your hands cracked a little from how hard you’re gripping it. If you were Illumi, it would’ve shattered into a fine powder by now. But you’re not, which makes you susceptible to being called such things.

They’re at it again. You’re unsure as to what you’ve done to upset some of the butlers and maids, but god do they not like you. No matter. You hate everyone in this stupid boring ugly manor anyway. Huh. Maybe that’s why they hate you, too.

It must’ve been a shock to see Illumi of all people one day bring home his future wife. One he never cared to mention to anyone else beforehand, and one that was still kicking and screaming over his shoulder.

You’re not really sure how long you’ve been here. Months? A year now? However long it’s been, it didn’t take anytime at all to realise that maybe you’re not as safe here as Illumi swears you to be. His mother most definitely hates you, but, oh well, she’s never really tried anything, as far as you know.

The help started muttering things when Illumi wasn’t around, things that hurt more than you wanted to admit. When you didn’t go running off to Illumi at the first few instances of it, it got worse, as though they knew you would never tell him about it.

First off, you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of being your saviour when someone says mean things to you. Secondly, you may hate these assholes, but you have a conscience.

Only last week Illumi came into your shared bedroom, absolutely drenched in blood, asking if you could shower together. You quickly found out that whoever he had been torturing wasn’t dead yet, and he still had more to do.

Thinking about what Illumi does to people he doesn’t care about, those he’s only hurting for a job, makes you shiver at the thought of him actually harming someone who did him, or you, wrong. But, despite your mercy on them, this time you’re considering just telling him. Only a little.

You’ve had a notably stressful day, being pranced around by his mother who’s insistent on ‘training’ you to be the perfect wife for her son. Her explaining to you that the family expects at least six children from you both had you rushing to the bathroom to vomit.

Then you ran into his father, on your way back to your room. He doesn’t seem to actively dislike you, but he scares the absolute shit out of you. The man seems to think you’re some house pet rather than an actual person with thoughts and feelings, but you suppose that’s only a modicum better than wanting you dead.

You also bumped into Illumi’s grandfather. You’re not sure if you can bring yourself to hate him, but you do hate the look of pity in his eyes whenever he sees you. Sometimes he’ll save you from a lecture Illumi’s mother is giving you, so he’s nice in that regard. He’d never free you, though, so he’s just another kidnapper you can’t become friendly with.

You eventually got back to your room, expecting a nice nap before being forced to attend family dinner, only to find Illumi had gotten back earlier than expected. You cringed at how hungry he was, and not for food, but just allowed him to do as he wished. You were too tired to argue. After he was done, he seemed to take note of how quiet and exhausted you were. Too bad, dinner time. You hated dinner times more than anything else.

You ate the admittedly lovely food in pure silence, but quickly became sick to your stomach at hearing Illumi and his mother discuss the prospects of you becoming pregnant. You didn’t eat anymore after that. You’re pretty sure his brother, Milluki, made some comment about you that Illumi didn’t like, which explains why his wrist got snapped in half a few seconds later.

Illumi tried spoon feeding you when noticing how full your plate was, but you managed to convince him that you weren’t hungry. That got you another lecture from his mother about how you’ll soon be eating for two. You were tempted to tell her that if you ever got pregnant you’d throw yourself into Mike’s jaws, but managed to refrain.

After that, you finally got to go to bed. It wasn’t something you were looking forward to anymore; you struggled to sleep when Illumi was home because he’d spend the majority of the night just staring at you.

“Can I go outside?”

You don’t remember why you blurted it or where the thought came from, but you remember the confused blink Illumi gave in response.

“Um.. just for.. ten minutes? O-Or five..? I just want to sit in the garden by myself for a bit… If not, it’s alright..”

You hated how pathetic you sounded, unsure as to what Illumi was thinking when he stared at you with that expressionless face.

“Alright.”

“What?”

“Would you like me to ask a maid to bring you out a cup of tea?”

You didn’t really think about his words too much, just happy you got something your way for once, and nodded rather enthusiastically. You should’ve said no.

The first few minutes of being in the garden, sat on the bench and allowing the cool nights breeze to settle on your skin had you relaxing for the first time in a while.

“Your tea, mistress.”

Oh. It was one of the ones you were sure hated you, and behind him was another. Oh, well. You took the tea from his hands, thanking them nonetheless.

It was much more bitter than you liked it, but you didn’t complain. You didn’t really want tea in the first place. They didn’t leave, but you didn’t complain. Illumi probably asked them to watch over you, maybe to make sure you didn’t try to run. It’s alright, you still have a nice view to relax with.

“Whore.”

Your eyes widen a little, and your grip on the cup increases. They continue muttering amongst themselves, but you catch small, demeaning phrases that you’re certain are aimed at you.

Why are you a whore? You’d never even had sex before you met Illumi, and if you had, it wouldn’t be their business. You’re hardly allowed to interact with anyone other than who Illumi allows you to. Where would you have the chance to sleep around? The insult doesn’t make much sense.

That’s what you tell yourself, despite the fact that your shoulders and hands are shaking and you feel something cold and wet running down your cheeks.

Shit.

You put the cup on the floor, hands moving to cover your face and wipe away any evidence of tears. Illumi hated when you cried.

Why are you still crying? What they said doesn’t make any sense. Stop crying, enjoy the view. You don’t have long left before you have to go back inside.

You’re still crying. You don’t notice that it’s gone eerily silent aside from your own muffled sobs, too busy working on shutting yourself up.

“[Name].”

Shit. Shit!

He’s been sat next to you for god knows how long now, and you didn’t even realise. God, this sucks.

“Why are you crying?” Illumi asks, and you can feel him move closer to you on the bench.

“I-I’m not,” you say, a hand still covering your eyes. What excuse do you give? If you say hay fever will he never let you out in the garden again? If you say you have a cold, will he keep you inside your bedroom for a few weeks? Months?

He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel him staring at you.

“Would you like to stay outside for a bit longer?”

Oh.

“Ye-Yeah. Y-Yes please,” you eventually reply, gulping down another sob.

He doesn’t leave, but you’re less bothered by his presence than usual. Despite it being… him, it’s not horrible to have some company, even though you’d never admit it out loud.

You’re not sure how long you sit outside before he stands, prompting you to do the same. Neither of you say anything, not until you reach your bedroom and Illumi tells you in a tone softer than you’d usually hear from him that he has something he must do, so you’ll be sleeping alone tonight.

You turn to go to bed, but he grabs your wrist. He doesn’t look at you for a moment, seemingly considering something. Then, he stiffly leans forward, pressing his lips to your forehead rather robotically. Sometimes you wonder if he is a robot, it really would explain a lot.

The kiss ends soon after it begins.

“Get some rest. You look bad.”

You huff a little, but can’t bring yourself to actually be offended due to the thinly veiled concern in his tone.

The sleep you get is better than you expected. Maybe not having a mass murderer eyeing you up while you try and rest is a reason for that.

Illumi doesn’t show up for the entirety of the next day, which is a little strange. He likes seeing you off in the morning, giving you a kiss before he departs - you’re certain he copied it from a romance movie you used to enjoy watching from time to time. You don’t question his absence too much, you don’t exactly enjoy his company, after all.

The day you have is better than the last. Illumi’s mother seems to be a bit less of a bitch than usual. That’s a win in your book.

It doesn’t take long for you to be back in your warm bed, wrapped up in covers and drifting off to sleep.

You wake up to the feeling of something wet hitting the tip of your nose, and quiet breathing above you.

“Are you awake?”

You are now. It’s pitch black in the room, but you can make out Illumi looming over, his hair framing around you like some makeshift cage.

Still sleepy, you groan a little, “Illumi? What… time is it?”

Something wet hits the bed.

“2:57 AM.”

Huh. You breathe in through your nose. Illumi absolutely reeks. Metallic, is it? You’re not sure it’s the best idea to comment on it.

“Oh. Okay.”

Another drip of something onto the blanket. He doesn’t seem to be in the talking mood.

“Have I done something wrong?”

“… Yes.”

Another.

You gulp. “Are you mad at me?”

“I don’t think so.”

Another drip, this time it hits your arm.

“Are you going to hurt me?”

You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes narrow in the darkness.

“No.”

The silence is deafening. Your hands clutch onto the end of the blanket. He leans impossibly closer, and the stench of whatever is on him becomes all to familiar. He’s smelt like it before, but never this strong.

“How long were the help bothering you?”

“Since I got here.” There’s little point in trying to lie about it now.

“If you hide something from me again I’ll break three of your fingers.”

A little specific, but the threat certainly does the job.

“Okay. I’m… sorry.” You’re not.

Finally, he pulls away, eyes still trained on your face.

“Go to sleep.”

You don’t. You’re certain that you can’t, at least not for tonight. Especially not after hearing him turn the shower on, and after he’s done leave the room once more.

Instead, you sit and stare at the ceiling, and wonder if any of those in the basement will even have three fingers left of them, by the time he’s done.

[kaysdenofchaos]

Teenage Meddling Mutant Turtles: Do You Remember?

‼️angst + implied abuse‼️

Mikey talks briefly on their time at the lab, being the only one of the older three to have memories of their lab days. Donnie, however…

..is a bit of a liar.

~~~

TMMT Iteration Masterpost || Commission Info

[randomnerd737]

I was thinking about the 5 year anniversary video and

it is interesting to me how Patton kind of decided for Logan what his role in the "family" would be. all the other sides chose it themselves, but he didn't get to.

even when he actively objects it's played for laughs and never addressed. this happened too when Patton revealed his name for him, and I just think it's interesting to note that after all these years, Logan still never gets to decide anything when it comes to Thomas, or even himself, to an extent. it's just kind of decided for him and he is expected to just go along with it, similar to how it was when Thomas dyed his hair.

ik it's mainly a "haha wine mom" moment, but that doesn't take away from how angsty it gets when you think about it.

[baby-yongbok]

Ex : Part II

Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

⇝ Genre: Angst then Smut then angst again. Dirty Drama.

⇝ Summary: There's only one thing on your mind after 'welcoming' Hyunjin back into your life.

⇝ Warnings: Themes of Cheating, Arguing, Oral sex, Hyunjin is toxic - the manipulative type - and he seriously thinks he did nothing wrong. (I think that's all, let me know if I missed anything!)

⇝ Word Count: 3.2k

⇝ A/N: SO MANY of you wanted a part 2 to this so I tried my best + reader is depicted as chubby/plus size and is a POC ♡ I hope that you enjoy the drama! 💕

✧ Part One ✧ Masterlist ✧

It took you a week. A week of crying and screaming, a week of avoiding your friends, a week of him ignoring your calls for you to realize that Hyunjin has you fucked up if he thinks that you’re going to let him get away with what he put you through. At first you just wanted to talk to him, you thought that maybe you could convince him to cut Yara off. You thought that you could change him - how cliche. You called him for three days and when you got sick of getting his voicemail you called his best friend, Jeongin. He was surprised to hear from you but he was even more surprised when you told him everything that happened. 

“Are you fucking serious?” For the first time since Hyunjin left you crying on your bedroom floor you let it all out. You told Jeongin every dirty detail of the encounter. You cried and he was there for you, he did what Hyunjin hasn’t done for months. “Is there anything that I can do? Anything you need?” 

The line fell silent as you processed his question. Your brain is telling you one thing while your heart is telling you another. You sigh as the two battle for dominance over what comes out of your mouth next. You’ve let your heart make all of the moves for the past three days. You’ve cried and you’ve screamed all in favor of lifting the crushing pain off of your chest for an hour or two. Now it’s your brain's turn to decide and it only wants one thing. 

“Ya know there is something that you can help me with.” Your heart pleads for you to choose something less drastic, less dramatic but your brain yells for it to shut up. Why should we let Hyunjin have all the fun? “Anything, you name it.”

“Revenge.”

Hyunjin came to your place four days after you spoke to Jeongin. He had cherry red roses in his hand and an apology plastered on his face. His eyes were pleading with you before he could even open his mouth but to his surprise you hugged him. You held him tight and smiled, taking the flowers and making a home for them in your favorite vase. He was stunned to say the least but he didn’t comment. He needed you. His ex did exactly what you knew she would, she took all that she wanted from him and the second that she started to get attention from somewhere else she acted like he didn’t exist. 

He tried to be the boyfriend that you’ve been wanting him to be over the next couple of weeks but he couldn’t seem to get a hold of you. Each and every time that he’d plan a date or show up to surprise you, you were already out or you were leaving to meet with your friends. You barely answered his texts and he’s more than positive that you’ve been sending him to voicemail for the past week. It’s been a month of him putting up with you blowing him off and he’s sick of it.

He decided to show up at your place two hours before your plans to talk to you, maybe he can get you to stay home and spend some time with him tonight. He misses you more than you could even imagine and he thought that you’ve been missing him too. Shouldn’t you be dying to spend time with him? 

His face drops when he gets to your front door and his key doesn’t fit into the lock, did you change it? He rings the bell, tapping his foot anxiously as he waits for you to open the door. His eyes meet yours when it swings open and you smile at him, welcoming him in. 

“My key didn’t work.” He comments as he kicks his shoes off.

“Really? That’s odd.” You shrug as you make your way to your bathroom. “I’m gonna shower.” You call to him as the bathroom door closes behind you. The click of the lock draws a sigh from Hyunjin. Not even a kiss or a hug? Just a friendly hello like you’re not even dating. He drags himself to your bedroom and throws himself on your perfectly made bed. His thoughts project onto the ceiling as he stares at it. He feels like he’s going crazy, why are you acting so weird? No affection, barely talking, barely hanging out and you’re always on… Oh no. He sits up quickly, his eyes dart around the room until it finally lands on what he’s looking for on your bedside table.

Your Phone.

He glances over at your bedroom door before grabbing it. The screen lights up and a picture of you and your friends presents itself to him. That’s funny, wasn’t your wallpaper that picture of you two from when you went to the aquarium for your second date. You always said that that was your favorite picture. When did you change it?

He glances towards the door again and swipes your screen, his brain is busy thinking of possible password combinations but there is no password. His brows pinch together in confusion, you always have a pin on your phone. He decides to worry about that later and quickly starts searching all of your apps. He goes from your instagram to your snapchat but there’s nothing. Just a bunch of reels being sent between you and Jeongin, the last person you sent a picture to on snapchat was also Jeongin. How can his best friend have time to talk to you but he doesn’t have time to text him back? He’s called him an unimaginable amount of times over the past month but he hasn’t heard a single thing back. His finger hovers over your text messages for a second too long. What if he doesn’t like what he finds? What if you’re cheating on him? How could he handle a betrayal like that? With one more quick glance towards the door he taps the app and it opens up to a conversation. Hyunjin’s heart drops when he reads the name at the top. 

“What?” An incredulous sigh escapes him as he starts scrolling to the top of the conversation. Pet names are being thrown left and right, plans are being made every single day and there are back to back facetime calls in the dark hours of the night. 

Hyunjin’s heart is pounding in his ears and his fingers are moving so fast that he didn’t even realize that he went into your shared media. He freezes and his heart drops to his ass as he takes it all in. Nudes, videos, everything that he could imagine, all of you and his best friend. All of you and Jeongin. He opens a video and his mouth goes dry at the lewd sounds that fill the room. He’s fucking you from behind with a fist full of your hair to keep your head up. You’re drooling and moaning and Jeongin is smiling, he’s fucking smiling at the camera. His shirt - wait a minute - that’s not his. Hyunjin’s eyes go wide as he studies the fabric, his best friend is wearing his clothes while he fucks his girlfriend? Unbelievable, this can’t be real.

He quickly exits the video and scrolls through your pictures. You and Jeongin in the car, in your bedroom, your living, you on your knees and him on his. Hyunjin doesn’t even bother to look at the door to make sure you aren’t coming. He can’t hear anything but the thoughts racing through his head. His finger slips and another video opens. The sound of skin against skin echoes through his ears as the video plays. Jeongin is shirtless, fucking you in front of your bathroom mirror. Actually, he’s naked, did you two shower together? Hyunjin balls a fist in the blanket under him as he watches the video.

“Say it again, baby, say it to the camera.” A broken moan escapes you as you try to follow Jeongin’s order. “Y-you’re so much better than him, fuck me so good, Innie.” Hyunjin swears that his heart broke at the sound of you. Why would you say that? You don’t mean it do you? What did he do to deserve this?

He pauses the video and drops your phone against the mattress, your texts stare back at him and he can’t help but to scroll. “That’s not yours.” He jumps at the sound of your voice and you laugh. You wander over to lazily flip through your closet with a towel wrapped around your hair and your rob loosely tied around your body.

“What the fuck is all of this?” His voice is small, much smaller than he meant for it to be but you can hear the heartbreak laced in it. You almost feel bad for him. But that’s your heart speaking, she’s not in control right now. “You’re fucking Jeongin?”

You pick out a dress and move to your mirror, you tilt your head as you hold it against your body. “Think this is too much for a dinner date?” Hyunjin scoffs, moving to stand from your bed.

“Answer me, tell me that everything that I just found is fake. Tell me that you didn’t betray me.” He has some nerve talking about betrayal. You face him, staring back at him with faux sympathy. “I was lonely when you left, what was I supposed to do?” 

“Wait for me to get back.” You turn your attention back to your closet but he calls your name before you can pick out another dress. “You haven’t been going out with your friends have you? You’ve been with him. What in your right mind possessed you to fuck my best friend?”

“Do you really care, Hyunjin? Do you really want me to tell you? Cause I’ll tell you everything but that’s not what you want to hear, is it?” He watches as you slowly step towards him, like a vixen with her eyes set on a prize. “You wanna hear me say that I love you. You want me to say that I’ll stop seeing him because I need you.” 

He’s stuck in place as he watches you, heavy breaths passing his parted lips as you read him like a book. That’s exactly what he wants, he wants you, that’s all he’s wanted for the past month. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes.” His voice is a mere whisper once you reach him, like he’d scare you away if he talks too loudly. “That’s what I want.” He shudders when you bring your hand up to cup his cheek. 

“Are you touch starved, baby?” His soft gaze pours into yours but he doesn’t recognize the look in your eyes. It’s not what he wants but he’ll gladly take it. At least you’re looking at him. “Didn’t your ex touch you while you were away?”

His heart sinks and a smile creeps onto your lips. “She - she did but -” You tsk, cutting him off before he could stumble over his words further. 

“She didn’t make you feel like I do, did she?” He shakes his head, guilty eyes staring back into yours as you reach down to palm him over his sweats. “Is that why you’re back? She didn’t take care of my Hyune?”

“She’s not you.” His breath is heavy and his eyes roll back as he answers with a thick groan. You run your fingers over him with expert precision. You’ve always known what to do to get him going. “I want you, not her. Always you.”

“Untie my robe.” You whisper and he quickly obeys, fumbling with the loose knot until the fuzzy fabric falls open and reveals your naked body to him. “Wanna show me how much you want me?” He leans forward to catch your lips in a kiss but you dodge him before he can. A disapproving whimper escapes him and you puff out your lip in a fake pout. 

“Gotta be patient, my baby. Can you do that?” He nods, whimpering out a pathetic ‘yes’. His eyes follow your frame as you sit on the edge of your bed. Your eyes wander from his down to the floor in front of you and back up again. He quickly follows your unspoken instruction, falling to his knees in front of you and drooling when you part your legs before him. “Show me.”

Hyunjin latches onto your core like a desperate puppy. His tongue wastes no time exploring every inch of you that he’s missed. Hums and moans vibrate through him as he tastes you and you match each sound with your head thrown back and your fingers laced in his hair. At least he remembers how to eat your pussy the way that you like it, though you must admit that you’ve gotten used to Jeongin’s mouth on you. 

Your bed creaks as his hips buck against it in a desperate attempt to feel half as good as you do. “Fuck, come on, Hyune. Don’t tell me your best friend eats my pussy better than you.” He groans in protest, hooking his arms around your thighs to keep you open while he works against you. You gasp in pleasure, so he’s competitive? He swirls his tongue in imaginary patterns, sliding it between your folds as he takes turns sucking on your clit and fucking your pulsing hole. His hips grind restlessly against the edge of your mattress and desperate grunts fill the air once they vibrate through your core. 

“You missed me didn’t you?” You pull him back with your fist in his hair, his swollen lips glisten in the low lamp light and his eyes are glazed with fuckout desperation. “Yeah, missed you.”  He’s too deep into the brain fog to hear just how pathetic he sounds but you’re more than happy to take it all in for him. A strangled moan escapes you as Hyunjin's tongue explores deeper. You grip his hair tighter as he laps up your juices, and you arch your back to meet him. 

His thrusts against your mattress become more desperate as laps at you, The mess of your drooling cunt makes a mess all over his chin as he works desperately to get you to the edge but that’s not the part that gets you close. It’s the thought of him hoping and praying that hi tongue is fucking you better than Jeongin ever did and as you get closer to coming undone you find yourself clenching at the thought that his best friend does it better. “Shit, Jeongin, I’m gonna cum.” 

 Your orgasm rips through you with a loud moan and your body shudders in pleasure. You hold Hyunjin's head in place against your core as his tongue continues to work diligently in an attempt to help you ride out your orgasm. Once you’ve come down from your high he pulls back slowly, a single string of spit still connecting him to your cunt.

“What did you call me?” He mumbles, not even bothering to wipe his mouth clean. You stare down at him with not an ounce of care in your eyes. 

“Don’t remember.” You pull your robe closed and slide from in front of him to pull yourself up to your feet. “And I don’t care.” Hyunjin’s heart dissolves as he watches you shrug and wander back over to your closet.

“What are you doing?” He mumbles and you scoff.

“Will you stop with the pitiful tone?” He scrambles up from his knees quickly, a surge of anger running through him. 

“Come on.” He stalks over and wraps his arms around you, leaning in to kiss your neck but you push him away before he can. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“I have a date to get ready for.” You flip through your clothes and it’s only now that he notices the empty space in your closet. “Where are my clothes?” 

“I told you to take all of your shit last month.” You shrug, pulling out a dress and holding it against your body in the mirror. “You didn’t take it so I gave most of it to Jeongin. Thought about burning the rest but I donated it instead.”

He watches you silently, jaw hung slack in a frozen state of disbelief. “Are there fucking cameras in here?” He looks around, half desperate for that to be the case. “Is this a joke?”

“The only joke here is you. Did you think that you could come back here and I’d act like nothing happened?” A venomous laugh erupts from your chest. “Be fucking forreal.”

“But we just fucked, I just ate you out why would you let that happen if you’re still going to see Jeongin?” 

“You got a phone call last time. You owe me, remember?” Hyunjin can’t decide if he should be livid or desperate. He wants to yell and curse you out for being so ridiculous but at the same time he wants to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness. He had hoped that you understood what happened a month ago. He thought that he could count on you to see that he only did what he had to do. Yeah he cheated but if you really loved him you could move past that. 

“You’re excused. I need to get ready.” You push past him, bumping your shoulder with his but he grabs you by the waist before you can get too far, pulling you against his chest. “Don’t be like that, angel.”

 His hands run smoothly up your side, taking in every curve of you. “I know I upset you but you can’t act like you don’t want me. What happened to you forgiving me?”

His lips brush over yours slowly as he whispers. “I want you so badly, I wanna be with you tonight. Stay here with me.” You smile against him as the towel containing your hair slips off of your head and your damp curls curtain around the two of you. You run your hands up his chest, taking in each and every toned dip before you whisper back. “Get out.” You peck his lips and push him away from you with a smile.

“You’re making a mistake.” He pleads with wide eyes blown with anguish. “He doesn’t make you feel like I do, you know that.” Your ringtone bounces off of the walls before you get a chance to answer him. You reach across your mattress and smile when you see Jeongin’s name.

“You’re right.” You shrug, swiping to answer the call. “He makes me feel so much better.” Hyunjin’s jaw clenches as you press the phone to your ear with a smile. You greet his best friend with a sweet tone that used to be exclusively for him. Hyunjin is practically invisible to you as you buzz around your room grabbing accessories and planning your outfit. It isn’t until he grabs your wrist on your way to your vanity that you look at him again.

“Please don’t do this.” Jeongin’s voice is heard from the receiver before you can answer the man in front of you.

“Who’s that, baby?” He asks, and you smile as Hyunjin deflates.

 “No one.” You shrug off Hyunjin’s hold and he deflates as you passively wave him away. “That’s no one.”

Tag List: @dessianna1, @foxytoxxic, @snxfall (If you asked to be tagged and you weren't it's because you did not have your age in your bio. You MUST have your age in your bio to be tagged )

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

"Hello." A dull thwack sound reverberated across the rooftop, leaving the boy who snuck up on Red Robin clutching his head. The boy, a meta if the large animal ears and tail were anything to go by, shook off the pain and pouted up at him, "What was that for?!"

The vigilante was unrepentant, holding his bo staff in a ready position, "You snuck up behind a vigilante at night. In Gotham."

"Okay," the meta conceded, still pouting. "You have a point there. Robin threw ninja stars at me when I tried to approach Batman."

That got Tims attention, "You tried to approach Batman? Was there something you needed?"

The kid suddenly got serious, "My mom went missing. I haven't been able to contact her for almost two weeks now."

Red pulled his arm closer to his face before he began typing on his wrist computer, "Can you tell me her name and date of birth?"

"Um." The other teen fidgetted with his tail a bit, "Okay, so...she's kinda Cheetah."

"...come again?"

"She's Cheetah. The...the supervillian."

Red Robin stared at him, and honestly who could blame him? The bats hadn't even known Cheetah had a son. "So why are you in Gotham? Why not ask Wonder Woman for help? Cheetahs one of her rogues not ours."

The teen shook his head, "She went to meet someone in Gotham before she disappeared. She seemed really agitated before she left, almost scared. I've never seen her like that before." He paused, giving the vigilante time to type before continuing, "I didn't go Wonder Woman since I figured I would wind up needing to talk to a bat anyway since its your turf and all." He said, waving a hand as if gesturing to the city around them.

"I wasn't aware Cheetah had a kid."

The meta grimaced, "she didn't until a year ago."

Red gave him a look, as if urging him to go on.

The meta chuffed, sounding a lot like whatever big cat he was supposed to be, "I'll only tell you my tragic backstory if you promise to help me find my mom."

"I'll find your mom." The bird said without an ounce of hesitation. Tim was a little offended. Did this guy think he was going to leave his mom in danger just because she was a criminal? Appearently so, seeing as the teen looked so relieved at his words.

"Okay, so my bio parents were evil mad scientists. Always a bad start, anyway they were obsessed with the occult and one day they suddenly took me and my sister to Brazil to hunt for some artifact of another. That alone was strange but weirder still was the fact my creepy godfather was paying for it all. He usually only does something like that when he's plotting "

"Plotting?" The detective interjected, "you make it sound like he does that often."

"Yeah. Hes a supervillian." The meta said casually, as if he didn't just leave Tim reeling, but the kid wasn't done yet, "He's had a massive crush on my bio mom since collage and never let it go no matter how many times she rejected him. She even married my dad, his best friend, and this dude just kept simping for 20 years." The teen rolled his eyes, "Hes convinced himself that if he murders my bio dad then my bio mom will fall in love with him and me and jazz will be "his"." He said that last part with fingerqoutes and a disgusted expression.

Tim filed that away for later, "Can I have his name, if nothing else?"

The teen seemed reluctant for a moment, "You're the worlds greatest detectives. You'll find out even if i try to hide it. Besides, I'd probably be better off if you and the Justice League know everything anyway."

Tim was...surprised by that. Most people usually weren't this open with them.

"His name is Vlad Masters, he also goes by Plasmius when he's dressed like a wannabe vampire. He's a ghost who's repossessed his corpse. My parents are Jack and Maddie Fenton, who are obsessed with ghosts and have convinced themselves that all ghosts are evil and must be destroyed, regardless of how much evidence points to them being wrong."

"And your name?"

The meta grinned at him, showing off four very sharp fangs, reminiscent of the large cat he takes after, "You can call me Jaguar. We were exploring a bit when I broke off from my family and got jumped by one of them. Suddenly I was struck by a claw and turned into furry bait. Fluffy stopped trying to make me his lunch and just stared at me before walking away, which was wierd. Then my parents found me, accused me of being a ghost, because thats naturally what someone would assume when thier son sprouts cat ears," he said while rolling his eyes.

"Naturally." Red joked, which had the benefit of making Jaguar smile.

"So my parents chased me through the jungle, shooting all the while, then suddenly a portal opened up in front of me. I'm not stupid, I know there was no way this wasn't a trap. I mean, a portal opening up right after that bizarre series of events and its the same shade of glowing green as the wierd death go my parents are obsessed with? There's no way they weren't related somhow, but I was desperate and jumped through anyway."

"I landed in another jungle, or the same one in a different location, I'm not sure. I tried hunting and foraging but wasn't very successful at either." Danny still remembered the throbbed in his head when he had headbutt that tree after missing his pounce on that pig he had been stalking. "Thats when Cheetah found me. She took me in and taught me to hunt and fight."

-----

Possible plot twists:

1. Danny isnt Phantom in this au

2. Danny is Phantom in this au but is trying to leave that life behind

3. My favorite. Danny has the ability to manipulate and control animals into doing his bidding with the effect of jaguars and other big cats being the most prevalent and he just doesn't realize it.

One of Cheetahs friends/allies realizes cheetah has changed and suspected something and convinced her to leave for a while to see if her care for this kid faded after a while away from his presence. It works and Danny loses another parental figure/possibly attacked by them too.

[web-spinning]

Imagine your parents never loved you, and you were abused by a devil for the first couple of years of your life, never had anyone that looked out for you, had to fought your own freedom, all your issues made you an awful person, one you could call a tyrant.

Then you meet a person even more deranged than you. But that doesn't matter, because they care. They're the first person in your life who shows you love. They're the first person in your life who look into your eyes and instead of disgust they feel love.

Then they dissapear. The only person that was able to love you, even when your own family couldn't.

The next thing you know you see them again. But they don't remember you. And they've already found a new partner in their new travelling party.

You were replaced, again. No one will ever be able to love you.

No one.

[rinhaler]

And a LU$T 4 LIF€ keeps us alive

✧˖*°࿐: 18+ only, no minors.  ✧. ┊  ex fiancé!rin itoshi x f!reader

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ SYNOPSIS : It's only been a few months since you broke things off with your ex fiancé, but you haven't broken things off with his family! You aren't sure what to do when Sae invites you to spend the holidays with him and his friends at his family's cabin. But it might be okay, as long as Rin doesn't turn up...

⛧ GENRE : hallmark christmas au, angst, exes to lovers! ++ smut! ♡

CHAPTERS

I. PRELUDE

18+, alchol consumption, mentions of a breakup.

words: 1k

II. MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK, AND HE'S COOLER THAN EVER!

18+, alcohol mention.

words: 4k

III. THERE'S NOBODY HERE

18+, alcohol consumption, oui'd smoking, shotgunning, lots of flirting, sex talk/discussions, squirting mention, dry humping?? (grinding while dancing), rejection, pet names (baby, princess).

words: 8.6k

IV. TAKE OFF, TAKE OFF, TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES

18+, alcohol consumption, hate sex? + love making, dry humping, mutual pining, no prep, vaginal sex, premature ejaculation, creampie, fingering, oral, mattress humping, tit sucking, multiple rounds?, overstimulation, squirting, choking, praise, dacryphilia, pet names (princess, baby).

words: 12.2k

V. IN THESE STOLEN MOMENTS

18+, vaginal sex, exhibitionism, slight choking, spanking, slight overstim, slight oral (m receiving), near death experience?, arguing, blood/nosebleed, slight violence.

words: 6.1k

VI. THERE'S NO STOPPING NOW, GREEN LIGHTS FOREVER

18+, alcohol consumption.

words: 2.6k

© 2023 rinhaler

[yanderestarangel]

HEADCANONS MW3 - "HE TOLD ME TO TAKE CARE OF YOU" | GHOST X READER

TW: spoilers about the canon story of mw3, death, mourning, angst, smut, praise, comfort, care, gn reader, use of medicines, breakdown, ghost soft spot, reader moves on after Mactavish's death, nsfw, reader's mixed emotions and ghost, post death of "soap mactavish" , dark themes.

A/N: People who are fighting in the comments: this is a work of fiction, if you take it seriously just DON'T READ IT.

Your world collapsed after the news that your fiancé "John Mactavish" aka "soap" had died, and what's worse, for Makarov. You felt your feet tremble and your breathing hitch - Price himself gave you this news, making you sob on the phone while Price, Gaz and especially, Ghost, listened to your pain and anger.

Ghost already knew you, he was soap's closest friend, he had been to your house several times and was even going to be best man at your wedding, along with Farah, however, Mactavish's young death took that away from you - and the man felt guilty, maybe if Ghost had been quicker, maybe if he had been close to Price he would have stopped Soap from trying to play the "hero" and getting shot in the head, maybe - Simon's mind was filled with "maybe " mute and would never have an answer.

You couldn't go with Ghost, Gaz and Price to throw Soap's ashes into the sea, you really wanted to - but part of you was paralyzed, as you clung to old photos and videos of Soap, or rather, your boy, your Johnny. Ghost went to your house, carrying the jar - now empty - of your fiance's ashes, he saw how weakened you were, and how quickly you tried to close the door in his face, however, he obviously didn't let you, using one of the hands to stop the blow. "-We need to talk (Y/N)." He just said that, muffled by the skull mask, his hard and cold eyes now carried a dead glow of sadness, anger and concern, Simon entered your house, without even hearing a vocal response from him.

"-I know things can be difficult for you, I know you loved Mactavish... But he asked me to take care of you (Y/N)" he paused significantly, a silence of understanding crossed the small and empty space between the two of you, while Simon squeezed the handle of the suitcase with all his strength, while holding back the single tear that tried to slip from his eye. "-He told me to take care of you if something happened to him and I will keep my word, whether you want my help or not." he added, as the cold gaze returned to you, searching for some kind of understanding on your face, he knew what it was like to lose someone you loved - however - he was focusing on you now, he could handle the pain, but you couldn't.

Then he did something he never did, he let the head of the impetuous and soulless man collapse slightly and letting the suitcase fall to the ground in a light tumble, the sound called you back to reality making you look at the tall and muscular form of Ghost with his arms open to you, while he was teary-eyed but refused to shed any tears, mixed emotions between the two of you, but the same feeling - the pain of sudden loss - you ran into the soldier's warm grip, feeling the smell of clothes wet from the rain and the thick, uncomfortable fabric of his sweatshirt, however, there was a warmth there, a warmth that you needed. You allowed yourself to cry, cry until your throat hurt, Simon's big hands made a pattern on your back and went to the top of your head, he didn't need to say anything at that moment, he just needed to give you the comfort you needed, you felt It allowed you to be taken care of, even if it was by a person you never thought would take care of you.

Simon watched you sleep after crying so much in his arms, lifting you in his arms to the upper staircase and placing you on the double bed, empty, due to the lack of John. He sighed heavily beneath his balaclava as he sat on the edge of the bed, watching you sleep. "-I will truly keep my promise, I swear to you my brother..." Ghost whispered as if he was talking to Soap, or, the ghosts that haunted him.

The next few weeks were calm and uneventful, with Simon offering to help you with the household expenses. "-You just took care of the house right? Totally dependent on Soap?" He asked calmly, no judgment reverberated in his voice, just doubts and an attempt to get closer. You nodded silently, as you watched him hand you a notepad and a pen. "-Write down all the groceries you need for the house, I'll buy them, I may not be Johnny, but I'll take care of you just like he did." he said seriously, his penetrating gaze looked at the floor as he rested both hands on his knees, waiting for you to finish the list. You didn't question it, his look was serious, a statement you couldn't deny.

So, slow steps were worked into these daily narratives, with Ghost always checking in on you, whether you were taking your medicines right, whether you were eating right and even whether you were well enough - with rare occasions of you not being able to eat and Simon preparing some soup. for you, ordering you to sit at the table while he himself fed you with a spoon, some small compliments were whispered under the typical skull mask. "-You're doing well (Y/N)." "-I'm glad you're accepting the food I made." "-Just this spoon and you can go rest, ok?" - he wasn't used to being soft with someone, but, besides the promise he made, something about you made him want to see you well, but he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind like many others.

Soon the two of you began to live together more and more, not just polite everyday conversations or routine silent care, but rather, verbalizing some abstract feelings from both your hearts. Some nights Ghost would stay with you in the dimly lit kitchen, a hot coffee in front of you both, the steam dancing between you as you smiled sideways - a sad smile, full of hurt and nostalgia, but still a smile - showing some photos of Soap, some photos of you together traveling the world on the few vacations he had while he was alive. Making him smile beneath the fabric that covered his face. "-Oh, I see... He was really quite an adventurous man." he spoke calmly, seeing your sad look as he ran his finger over the cold screen of his cell phone, so Ghost had the idea of ​​telling some stories he shared as a protagonist with Soap - like the time Captain Price made him and Mactavish clean the entire barracks because caught you both listening behind the meeting door - you smiled, now, genuinely happy, making Simon's heart warm a little, as if he was on a mission and it was finally bearing fruit, your happiness.

He accompanied you to doctor appointments and shopping, he insisted that you should take better care of yourself - Ghost dragged you to an expensive clothing store and gave you permission to spend his money however and on whatever you wanted, you couldn't deny it just nodding and swearing he could see a chaste smile appear slightly on the black fabric he wore. You changed for him, trying out some clothes while he approved them all, making you smile beautifully, questioning him if he was being sincere. Simon just crossed his arms and let out a breath through his nose "-I'm just being honest, you're a beautiful person, any clothes you wear look great on you." he spoke sincerely, not noticing the words slipping off his tongue. You thanked him for the compliment, while selecting the clothes, the two of you heard the attendants talk about what a beautiful couple you made. You didn't say anything and neither did Simon correct them, just holding your shoulders in a gesture of shy affection.

Your feelings were confused, you practically lived with Simon now, even giving yourself the freedom to walk around the house in just a towel, you felt good, good about yourself and the man who took care of you - even if your mind wondered if it was right to accept such intimate contact with your late fiancé's friend -

Questions were also present in Ghost's mind, but he liked to take care of you, it wasn't just an obligation for a promise but for pleasure and self-satisfaction, the two of you now practically lived together - something that happened naturally, over time , just proof of a greater connection that was growing in both of you - soon you found yourself arranging Ghost's clothes, like you did with Soap, taking care of his lunch, even though nothing more intimate had ever happened, nothing more than pleasant conversations and warm touches, but covered by the fabrics of your body and Simon's gloves. The spark that was igniting there transcended any bond he had formed and any morals built during his time with Mactavish. He wondered if it was worth going over everything he believed in and trying something with you, touching your skin, feeling you on his fingertips, seeing your happy face and contorting with pleasure because of him - thoughts he didn't think about. he managed to free himself, after all, no man is hypocritical in his pleasures and desires - and Ghost was one of them.

It didn't take long for it to happen, a few glasses of wine, a few laughs between you like any ordinary weekend you were both having in that routine of caregiver x person who was dying from care. But something shone in both your eyes and his, a look that didn't need words but just actions - when you saw it, you were leaning over the kitchen counter, the taller man's thick cock hitting your holes, the swollen balls of cum hit your skin, leaving your skin red. It had been so long since you felt a cock filling you and Ghost was there, fucking you without much thought, just sweet compliments as he ravished your needy hole against his hard, cold marble on the counter. "-Yes fuck... You look so beautiful like this, take it all baby..." "-Don't be ashamed, just let go, I'm here, you've endured so much, haven't you? Yes, you're so strong... So beautiful... Let me take care of you sweetheart." "-Mmm... Fuck (Y/N)... You're squeezing me so good, keep it up okay? I'm going to make you cum, I'm here for you." He spoke between moans in the air, holding your thighs, you forgot everything, the mourning, the past, who you were, just focusing on the blur with each thick thrust and hoarse praise, full of Simon Riley's accent to you. You two didn't know how you were going to act after that, but it didn't matter about the momentary carnal pleasure.

After the post-orgasmic bliss, you and Simon exchanged more glances. "-Sorry, I just... We can't do that." Ghost spoke first, while he was still physically connected with you, leaving slowly, seeing your satisfied form but full of doubts and guilt, even so he helped you take a shower, the two of you sitting in the same bathtub, just an oral silence and the sound calm of the water filled the air particles. You didn't know how to feel, nor what to say. Ghost agreed with the idea of ​​pretending that nothing had happened between you... And that didn't do anything.

It happened again, it always did, another cold, rainy night, with Ghost above you, Simon's thick hands caressing your thighs, his warm breath on your neck. "-I promised to take care of you, I think... Soap would be happy if I made you happy in other ways too." he whispered against your wet, sweaty skin, pushing the shaft already covered in his semen even deeper, from other times he had cum, and maybe, he was right, Mactavish wanted you happy, and you were happy. He reached out his hand, grabbing yours, as he looked you in the eyes, pushing you to your limit. "-Tell me dear... You want another chance to be happy, right?" he spoke from behind the skull balaclava softly and with expectant eyes, all that was needed was your answer to your future, a future with Simon or, a future trapped in memories of the past.

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

[incorrectbatfam]

Your name is Robin

You are fury and passion

The lighthouse in a stormy sea

Yet your crown is taken from you

Placed on the head of another

Your name is Robin

You are a hero, you can fly

Cherished in ways you'll never know

But misplaced loyalties run abundant

You smell the burns still smoldering

Your name is Robin

You are persistent curiosity

Healing others yet lost yourself

You're robbed of your mask

But you already knew the story

Your name is Robin

You are sharp words and a soft heart

A sudden firecracker

Fizzling just as fast

Do you even remember who you were?

Your name is Robin

You bear the burden of legacy

Large shoes to fill, miles to walk

An anticipated champion

A martyr following a script

Your name is Robin

If only it wasn't

[flymmsy]

"What have you done?" Durge laughs as Gortash leads them through the streets of the Lower City under the cover of night. He glances back with a smirk as they reach a large warehouse near the Grey Harbor Docks. Eagerly, Gortash unlocks the gates and leads Durge inside. On the walls of the warehouse are blueprints of Gortash's Steel Watcher design, another part of their brilliant plan. Durge stares wide eyed in awe as they realize their dreams have materialized. Gortash comes up behind them, wrapping his arms around them and placing a kiss to their neck as he whispers, "I did this for us."

"What have you done?" Hot tears stream down Durge's face, deep within the bowels of the Steel Watch Foundry. Every corner is strewn with viscera and mechanical cogs - a factory of nightmares. He said it would make them remember - why would they ever want to remember this?

Gortash has their face in his hands, desperately searching their eyes for some recognition. When he speaks, his voice betrays his own distress, "I did this for us."

[sjonni33]

† bleed for a world that has never loved you †

𓆝 𓆟[ko-fi] [prints&stickers] [redbubble]𓆞 𓆝

[kaysdenofchaos]

Battle Scars: Kraangified

A person cannot simply leave the Hivemind. When one is ‘Kraangified,’ their DNA is altered, and so is their mind. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in another city or another dimension: they’ll keep calling for you.

Man. Heavy.

Anyways:

~~~

Battle Scars Masterpost

Commission Info

[aloesarchives]

The Echoes from Yesterday: "The Ghost of His Yesterday: Her" (Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader) (1/3)

TW/Warnings: Female Reader/Pronouns, Profanity, Pure Angst, Angst No Happy Ending, Minor Character Death Mentioned, Toji cannot cope, Reader Highkey Hurting

Pairing: Toji x Fem!Reader, Megumi x Fem!Reader(Platonic/Parental)

Reader/Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 9.09k words

[!!Edited and Proofread as of 3/13/2024 6:35 pm CST!!]

Love isn’t the easiest thing in the world. 

But you were unaware how loving a broken man would be onerous. A decision that would lead to an immense heartache, something you failed to realize until it was too late.

You knew he was still mourning her, and rightfully so. She was his first and only love, the only woman he ever gave his heart towards. 

You weren’t asking for much. You didn’t want to replace her. No, never in a million years. You only hoped wished Toji would allow you to love him. To make space in his heart. To have a chance of slowly laying his heart open like he had done before with her.

Unfortunately it never came, not once during the duration of five years being together. 

You meet Toji by chance at the supermarket store not too far from your residence. You never paid much attention to him until he brought a 5 month old baby boy. He was a silent but curious little one with his green eyes looking at anything.

Funny enough, the baby boy named Megumi was the reason you and his father even interacted. It was a random day where you were in the fresh meat section, looking at the deals they had for the day. You were focused on finding what you needed when a small gurgle snapped you out of your trance. 

You glanced over to the little cherub looking up at you, smiling with his two bottom teeth barely showing. You gave a warm smile with a small wave his way. This made Megumi more giddy and vocal as he let out a few babbling giggles. You let out a soft chuckle seeing him bouncing in his seat while flailing his arms. The jingle of his teething ring followed his movements until it slipped out of his chubby hands. You were quick to catch it, hating to see him sad.

Handing it back to him, you were caught off-guard when he grabbed your hand. His attention was now off the toy and onto you. Megumi held onto you as he smiled like the little cherub he was. You, however, were a little concerned when realizing his father was out of sight. As cute as Megumi was, you didn’t want to cause trouble with his dad for interacting with you. Just as Megumi loosen his grip, you heard a low chuckle behind you.

“Megumi, you’re in a better mood now than earlier. Is it because you’re bothering her?”

That’s when you meet him, the towering man who also was the father of the little baby that caught your attention. His eyes met yours and something in your heart flickered. He was attractive, a glaring observation. But the way his grin highlighted the scar on his right side of his lips caught your attention. 

“Sorry about my son, Miss. He’s a little troublemaker and a rascal.”

You playfully snickered at his harmless insult for Megumi.

“It’s fine. He’s quite the cute baby. I don’t mind the trouble at all.”

You don’t remember the details of that small interaction. But you knew you would see both of them again. Surprisingly, Toji walked you to your car. Although you thanked him, your wandering eyes caught a glimpse of gold on his left finger.

‘Oh…’

You knew better than to mess with marriages and have affairs. But you felt disappointed knowing Toji is married. But hey, he treated you nicely and respectfully. So maybe you could be an acquaintance or even a friend if you’re lucky. It was a weekly encounter with the man and his son, always having small talk while you entertained Megumi. Weeks turned into a month, then a month became six months.

After some time, you grew comfortable around them as you always looked forward to seeing them each week. But you noticed a key detail that felt off: where’s Toji’s wife? The mother of Megumi, where is she?

You thought she was working or a very busy woman. So during one of your weekly interactions, you asked Toji about the whereabouts of his wife. The question was meant to be harmless, you didn’t mean to pry. But the change in Toji’s face and his body going stiff showed you’ve crossed a line.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Toji! I didn’t mean to be nosy about your personal life! If it’s a sensitive topic, you can drop it and I’ll never bring it up again.”

Toji knew it was the only matter of time before you asked the question. More so, he’s anticipating your reaction to his answer more than your question itself. The guilt washing over you seeing the tall well-built man deflate in front of you. His callous hand slowly rubbed his face, pondering at the question that you threw into the open. He sighs before facing you, seeing your face full of shame and embarrassment.

“Toji, you don’t have to. I was out of line for–”

“No…No it’s fine, (Y/N). It’s just…I can’t really talk about something like that here. If we were in private, I can give the answer to your question. You free tomorrow?”

As much as shutting down Toji’s invitation would’ve brought your dignity back, something inside told you to go through with it. And so you agreed to it.

“I am, are you okay with noon? The weather is doable around that time and I don’t want to make Megumi sick. There’s this cafe where we can meet up. It's hidden in one of the side streets and has privacy booths if that's okay with you. You want me to send the address to you?”

“Yeah… That’ll be great, (Y/N).”

He relaxes in your gaze but it feels like you trespassed onto treacherous waters. The next day, you waited for Toji outside the cafe. Frequently looking between your phones and the busy street of people to see any sign of the duo. Before you dial his number, you spotted the familiar gray jacket and a stroller heading your way.

You waved in his direction to catch his attention which worked because his gaze connected with yours. You smiled at him as he made his way over before peaking in the stroller to see a baby Megumi sleeping, covered in his puppy baby blanket. You walk inside and a server already takes you to a secluded booth. You ordered your drinks ahead of time and they were ready once you sat down. Toji’s drink is easy, straight up black coffee with no sugar or creamer. 

The two of you talked for a bit. Well, you were beating around the bush from yesterday's topic. Taking your anxiety by the throat, you finally had the guts to repeat your question from yesterday. Your abruptness didn’t startle Toji as he took a good sip. His answer was unexpected, one which was dreadful than his assumed replies you thought of.

“My wife died last year…She had an unknown illness the doctors couldn’t figure out even though they tried everything. But it was catching up to her faster than the doctors could work. Megumi was only barely 3 months old when she passed away…”

You didn’t know what to do. Yes, you wanted to comfort Toji but you didn’t know what to say. By the looks of things, it’s just him and his son. He has no other support from families on both sides. No friends either to lean on. You're probably his only friend he’s ever made. He was a single dad trying to take care of his son after the sudden death of his wife. But you were empathetic to him, Megumi, and their situation. You offered to help him out with Megumi, not out of pity but out of compassion.

“If it’s okay with you, I can help you out with Megumi. My work hours are short and early in the morning. That’s why I’m always available after 12:00 pm. I’m off during the weekends too. It wouldn’t be much of an inconvenience to me at all…You need help raising Megumi, Toji…”

His lips form into a sneer momentarily before returning to a straight line.

“Was it that obvious, (Y/N)?”

Carefully, you selected your words to not sound patronizing towards him.

“No…It wasn’t, at first. But after what you just told me…I think you need some extra hands to deal with this. It wouldn’t hurt to ask for help, Toji…”

He really didn’t want to…He knew you’re a kind individual when he laid eyes on you. You were different to him, being good-natured…something that was awfully similar to how his late wife was like, especially how you treated him when you two first met. He couldn’t let you be dragged into his own shortcomings as a father. You were young, 23 to be precise. You had a future ahead of you, you couldn’t slow it down for a single dad and his kid. Yet here you are, offering your help to him with no form of repayment whatsoever. It was genuine too, he could feel it when you offered a soft tender smile towards him. 

He grins and allows you to help him and his son out. Though your smile didn’t change, he felt his heart rate doubled when your eyes became soft like your smile. You two left the cafe and walked along the city. Cutting through a nearby park, the two of you were in a conversation as the park’s flora were in the early stage of blossoming. You two didn’t get far as you heard some rustling coming from the stroller. Pausing your conversation, you and Toji looked inside to see Megumi stir himself awake. He slowly rubs his eyes as he sits up. Still rubbing the sleep out his eyes, he let out a whine causing Toji to stop. You raise an eyebrow observing Toji as he picks up Megumi. Then, from a whine came a small sniffle, the sniffle turned into a small sob. You watched Toji comfort a crying Megumi. Rocking him in his arms and rubbing his head gently. 

Yet nothing was working to calm Megumi. By instinct alone, you wanted to comfort Megumi. Yet, you felt hesitation take over. Reeling back and forth between your two emotions, you decided to step in and hold out your hands towards Toji. The man gave you a strange look before slowly handing you his son. Once in your arms, Megumi’s crying had slowed to a stop. As you held him in your arms, you slowly rubbed his back while humming. Toji never admitted out loud but seeing how his son calmed down in your arms made his heart erupt into a feeling he wasn’t so used to.

From then on, you helped Toji out with raising Megumi. It was some work but you didn’t mind it at. Picking up Megumi from school, watching him when Toji was away or busy, running errands for Toji, and helping around their apartment, etc. You soon learned he was a quiet baby. Besides the occasional crying, he was silent for the most part when he wasn’t excited. You also noticed he’s only happy when he’s around either you or Toji. Showing it through his little baby ways, making you become attached and affectionate of Megumi. It only grew as you watched Megumi grow up.

Over time, taking care of Megumi became a part of your routine and eventually life. You grew fond and close with him. Though it was unofficial, it felt as if he was your own son. During that time, you and Toji grew close as well. A year into your involvement in his and his son’s life, you ask Toji if he liked you. To which he responded with “Yeah…Actually, I like you a lot, (Y/N)...” At the time, you felt relieved that your feelings were mutual. Seemingly the next 5 years with him and Megumi would be bliss. But that should’ve been the first sign something was up.

Although you’re not one for paranoia, you felt things between you and Toji were off as the years passed. There were little things here and there like not always holding your hand outside, lack of nicknames, and curt answers when you ask him about his day when he comes home. But you concluded it was your tendency to overthink.

However, everything changed when Megumi called you Mama. He had just turned four when he said it. Normally, he would call you “(Y/N)-san” when he’s with you. You were waiting for him as usual on the day it happened. And on the dot, you see Megumi come out with his teacher with a piece of paper in his hand. You walk up to them to retrieve Megumi from his teacher but Megumi starts to fiddle with his paper, which worries you a bit.

“Megumi, why don’t you show her what you made today in class? I think she would love it.”

His teacher gave him an encouraging smile that pushed Megumi to show you what he drew. It was a picture of three stick figures. One had a scar on the line that you assumed was the lips, a smaller one that looks like Megumi, then another that looked like you. 

“Aw, Megumi. Did you draw us?”

“Yeah, because you’re Mama, (Y/N)!”

You didn’t know a child could bring such warmth and a feeling of belonging, but Megumi did. You open your arms and he goes in without hesitation. You hug him tightly before patting his head.

“Thank you, Megumi. I love it. Let’s go home now, we have to get groceries for dinner.”

Megumi nods before saying bye to his teacher. You allowed him to talk your ear off as you got ingredients for dinner. You were in a good mood, indulging him as he talked about what he did in school. Coming to their home, you got to work with dinner while Megumi did his homework on the living room table. Once Toji’s home, dinner was ready and Megumi put his school bag away, leaving out his drawing. After eating and cleaning up, you finish washing the dishes when Toji comes into the kitchen looking at the paper in his hand. It was Megumi’s drawing from school.

“Megumi drew this, (Y/N)?”

“Yeah, he drew it during school. He showed it to me when he picked it up. It’s pretty sweet of him. He was so excited to show me.”

Drying your hands on the towel nearby, the kitchen became awfully silent. You turned to Toji and see him still looking down at Megumi’s drawing. Yet, his hand started crippling the paper. Sensing his change in mood, you went up to him to see if everything was okay. You placed a comforting hand on his arm but he jolted his arm to move it off. Surprised by his action, you tried to meet his eyes. Once he did, they were filled with anger. He looks back and forth between you and his son’s drawing. It looked as if he wanted to say something but his clenched teeth prevented anything from coming out. He lets go of the drawing, letting it fall on the ground before turning on his heels to go into his bedroom.

“I need to calm down, (Y/N)...I had a rough day… Just give me space and don’t come into my room.”

You would've protested, but he was fast and left the kitchen instantly. You slowly kneeled to look at Megumi’s picture, a pain throbbed inside your heart when you saw how much the paper was crumpled by Toji’s death grip. Your pain continues with a mix of worry as Megumi’s drawing of you with the title of ‘Mama’ above was creased the most. You calmed yourself down by taking a deep breath, unconsciously holding the picture close. You made sure the kitchen was clean before going into Megumi’s room. The moonlight peaking through the blinds of his window, you can see he was knocked out cold. Placing his drawing on his night stand, you pet his hair before kissing his forehead goodnight and closing his door gently. You went to Toji’s room, knocking on it to make your presence known. When you didn’t hear anything, you let out a sigh before telling him you were leaving with a goodnight following afterwards.

Once you closed their apartment door and sat in your car, a sinking feeling began to creep into your stomach. Though not painful, it wasn't going away no matter how hard you tried to calm down. Not understanding why you felt the sudden rush of anxiety. You didn’t know it back then but perhaps it was your gut feeling warning you something bad would happen. But you would have never thought it was be the downfall of your relationship with Toji.

That’s when the arguments started happening. Well, they weren’t arguments if Toji was the only one yelling.  You tried diffusing the situation while not getting emotional yourself. All for the sake of not disturbing Megumi. You tried your best to calm him down, asking what made him feel this way. That he can talk about anything that’s bothering him and you can help him. 

But how can Toji say what’s bothering him when it’s you. 

Nonetheless, you already knew it had to do something with you. Even if it wasn’t spoken out loud, the strain between you and Toji involved you in some way shape or form. But to know it was because of people around you two, specifically Megumi, seeing your dynamic in the relationship. You couldn’t help but feel hurt knowing Toji was rejecting you, let alone being mad at you for being involved in his and Megumi’s life.

Out of respect for Toji, you would correct anyone and everyone when they see you in public with Megumi. Especially when Toji is with you two. Unfortunately, some of the ‘arguments’ happen because someone commented how you cared for Megumi or the cute little family you three are.

While you would've been content with the compliment, you knew you had to shut it down because you weren’t Megumi’s biological real mother, nor Toji’s wife. Saying you were a close friend rather than girlfriend since it didn’t feel right either. You even corrected Megumi’s school teacher too. 

“Actually, I’m not Megumi’s biological mother. I’m just a friend of his father that helps out. That’s all.” As you left with Megumi, his teacher felt confused and melancholic by your answer. To her, you were his mother from the way he talks about you in class. 

You begin to correct Megumi whenever he tries to call you Mama. It didn’t matter where it was, you tried making it a habit for Megumi to just call you by your name. At first, Megumi followed along with it. But as time went on, there were slip ups. To a point Megumi didn’t want to refer to you as (Y/N), he wanted to call you Mama. You’ve now understood why Megumi calls you Mama because you acted like one. The only one he’s ever known. The aching pain you felt when you forced yourself to correct him grew. For a child not of your blood to call you his mother, it's an honor and blessing. However, you don’t think Toji would agree.

You had a feeling there was something else you were unaware of that’s got him like this. And it wouldn’t be until your recent ‘argument’ with him is when everything clicked. While carrying the laundry basket of freshly folded towels, you accidentally bumped into one of the photos and knocked it to the floor. The glass covering shattered and pieces of it fell out. It wasn’t a loud smash but loud enough for Toji to come and see you trying to clean up the pieces.

“What are you doing, (Y/N)?”

You flinched at how dangerously low his voice sounded, teetering on frustration. Still kneeling on the floor, you slowly look up and see Toji towering over you. You could never forget how huge and daunting he appeared, or his eyes as he looked down at you.

“I accidentally knocked the picture frame over and it broke. I’ll clean it up, Toji. I promise–”

“No…Let me do it…”

“But Toji, I was the one who made the mess. At least let me–”

“I SAID LET ME DEAL WITH IT, (Y/N)! JUST FINISH PUTTING AWAY THE LAUNDRY AND THE DAMN TOWELS IN THE BATHROOM!!!”

That was the loudest you’ve heard Toji yelled, louder than he spoke to you before. Scrambling to your feet, you grabbed the laundry basket and scurried away into the hall. Though you looked over your shoulder for a split second, you saw Toji crouching down to pick up the broken frame. Then, you caught the glimpse of which photo you accidentally broke. It was a solo picture of his late wife, smiling brightly in a field of sunflowers. The truth began to resurface no matter how much you tried to suppress it. Biting your inner bottom lip to not let a single whimper escape, your eyes glazing over with tears. As you walked further away, you didn’t miss the sniffle from the other direction. Or how Toji didn’t ask if you were okay or hurt when he came to check it out.

As you busy yourself with your chore, everything started to fall into place.

His lingering eyes whenever he saw a small family together or a mother with her baby. The way his gaze had a hard time tearing themselves away from a married couple enjoying their day together. His eyes were full of frustrated longing and desperate yearning. You never dwelled on it thinking he zoned out. Now, your memories become crystal clear that he always had sad eyes. You noticed because he had them when Megumi took his first steps towards you. Smiling and giggling as you coaxed him to continue walking until you caught him in your arms. You were so happy, proud of this milestone of Megumi’s. Then looking over at Toji, you saw his smile but his eyes told a different story as he replayed the video he recorded on his phone.

They were always there, right in front of you for the past three years.

Then came the distancing, his spontaneous rage, lack of intimacy, and the prevalent resistance in allowing Megumi to accept you as his mother.

Now you know, after piecing everything together…

Toji’s longing was wishing his beloved was there with him. It should be her playing and caring for Megumi, not you. It should’ve been her with him and his son, their complete family. But she was gone and you were here instead.

It all went back to her. His late wife and Megumi’s mother…

You didn’t know when it started but you knew your exact feelings when it did. Every time you look at her in the multitude of photos around the apartment, a wave of bitterness and jealousy envelopes your heart like a suffocating hug. 

With it came resentment. Then hate, hatred towards her, his wife and only love. Oh how you wished you were Megumi’s mom instead of her. Longing to be her in order for Toji to love you. So you can be loved by him…

That’s when you caught yourself and the fresh thought that left your mind. Once you grasped that thought of yours and the feelings behind it, you were mortified with yourself. How could you ever think like that about someone? Someone who’s life was cut too short and unfairly when it was just getting started? Towards the deceased wife of the man you love and mother of the boy you grew to love as your son?

‘What’s wrong with me…WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?’

Never in your life have you felt disgust for yourself until now. Ashamed of how you allowed these deprave emotions to fester from within for so long. This was beyond unhealthy, almost demented to feel towards someone you have never met before. Not only was this detrimental to your relationship with Toji and Megumi, it was detrimental to yourself to harbor feelings that would eventually corrupt you.

But another thought popped up in your head, a realization that completely shatters your heart.

There were barely any photos of you with Toji and Megumi. Let alone any pictures of you around their home, no traces of you. It was like pouring salt in a gaping fresh wound. That’s when you knew Toji didn’t love you. Nor was he ready to love again. The distance he kept no matter how much you gave yourself to him, helped him, or opened up to him. The walls you tried so desperately to break stood tall and thick, your hands bleeding the more you clawed at it. Your attempts weren't taking you anywhere.

No matter what you did, Toji always kept you at a distance. That after five years of being with him and Megumi, nothing has changed or is willing to.

For it to take three years to have this realization, you bitterly laughed at yourself for staying so wistfully blind to the writings on the wall. 

The situation was complicated. This was complicated. You don’t blame Toji for mourning the loss of his first and only love. But it had been almost five years since then. You understand everyone mourns differently and in their own way. Grief never truly goes away, you only learn to coexist with it. But Toji’s grief cuts deep and runs long, making his yearning for his late wife strong. Stronger than what he has with you. To his credit, however, Toji doesn’t hate nor is meant to be hostile toward you. In fact, he deeply cares about you. Yet, he fears by letting you in like he did with his first wife meant he would be replacing her. To forget her and what they had together, moving on from her. Toji was a man with very few fears, but this was one of them and it terrified him to no end.

And yet, here he was. Self-sabotaging himself because of longing, fear, and grief.

Toji knew the reason why your relationship is at its current stage is because it was his fault. He knew he was pushing you away, keeping you afar but within reach. This was all his doing, and yet he can’t bring himself to fix it. No action, no fight, no attempts of saving what will become of your relationship.

It is selfish of you. You never made it your mission to replace Toji’s first wife and the mother of Megumi in their lives. But you wished Toji would give himself a chance to love you as you already did for him. In the end, you couldn’t force Toji into something he wasn’t ready for which pains you immensely.

You couldn’t stay with him, continue being with Toji. Not when this is what you and Toji’s relationship has become. Unlike any sane person, you were reluctant to leave because it meant leaving Megumi behind. You have grown so attached to him, treating him so fondly and tenderly. Of course you did! You watched this kid grow up for the past five years! You remember when Megumi was a baby with no teeth, now he’s a growing toddler who can speak full sentences. Megumi was in a fraction of your life, but you were there for all of his. Then the thought of you, the only mother figure he’s known his entire life, to suddenly leave and never return made your soul howl in agony and anguish. Megumi shouldn’t be caught up in this but he was right in the middle.

You soon left once you were done, your heart bearing an excruciating weight with each passing minute. This wasn’t good for you, neither is it for Toji or Megumi. So you had to make a decision, a devastating one that would befall on everyone involved. But it was the only way to not hurt yourself and put you through hell anymore. As you drive home, you recall a crucial conversation with your best friend. The memory grows stronger as you deal with this relationship.

‘‘WHAT?!? Excuse me, (Y/N). But can you please run it back for me one more time?’’

You were having a hangout with (Best Friend’s Name). Due to lack of align schedules, you haven’t been able to physically fill her in on your personal life. Though when an availability arised, you didn’t expect the hangout to go this route. Then again, it shouldn’t be a surprise to you.

‘‘Okay, okay, okay. Let me get this straight, (Y/N). After almost five years of being together, Toji still hasn’t moved on from his late wife? Doesn’t want Megumi refer to you as his mom even though his own dad doesn’t say anything about the kid’s own biological mother to him? Then blows up on you for the smallest things even though you’re genuinely trying to help?’’

Your silence was everything she needed for an answer. A sigh was evoked from her as she took a deep sip of her espresso latte.

‘‘(Y/N), I love you to hell and back but you need to get out of this relationship. I haven’t met Toji myself so I can’t jump to conclusions. However, I do know his hurting is becoming yours. It’s seeping into you, (Y/N). You’re only trying to be by his side, nothing more and nothing less. But this isn’t good for you, (Y/N). Both for your physical and mental health. I can tell that you are stressed by how tense your posture is, and I know you long enough to know you’re not so rigid.’’

You sat there stunned, was it that noticeable? (Bsf/n)’s eyes look at you through her cup, unchanging by your shocked expression. She inhales deeply, feeling the gravity of the situation before you did. 

‘‘I…just didn’t even notice, (Bsf/N).’’

‘‘Well you should. As your best friend and sister by bond, I’m just looking out for you. Meaning, you deserve better, (Y/N). This is unhealthy and you know it yourself. You deserve someone who will love you for you, not hold you to a standard of their previous lovers. Someone who values what they have together with you, not endlessly yearning for something of the past.’’

‘‘(Bsf/N), please—’’

‘‘(Y/N), I’m being serious. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not shitting on Toji for grieving over his losses. But if he’s not willing to accept your help and presence, then he never will, no matter how much you wait. If Toji is stuck in the past and can’t be here in the present with you and his OWN son, he’s going to stay in the past. It sucks that you are suffering from this when you did nothing wrong… And Megumi… Fuck, (Y/N). He’s suffering too, this isn’t going to be easy if you fall through with it. But I need you to know that your health is your top priority and I will have your back one hundred percent. If you even needed, you could live with me. I’m just a call away, (Y/N). Remember that, please.’’

Megumi knew something was off when he saw you two were waiting for him. The gap between you two that was once miniscule has become wide and spacious. Other’s assumed it was to make room for Megumi himself. But the kid knew something was amiss when your smile was paired with dimmed eyes, sad eyes. He’s never seen eyes like that before, and frankly, it was scaring him.

Megumi is intelligent for his age, too intelligent for his liking. He knows that his dad has changed around you within the past few years. Honestly, he hated it because he saw more frequently you were lost in thought. Absentmindedly doing chores but your body devoid of your loving aura.

Unfortunately, this was causing the young boy to become frustrated with his father. Especially when he hears Toji’s yelling at night, the walls muffling the true volume of Toji’s voice. Knowing you were the one it was being directed towards. It got worse when Toji told him you weren’t his mom. 

Wasn't his mom? Who was then? The smiling lady in the numerous photos around the apartment? “Okay, yeah sure, Dad,” Megumi thought.

He knows of the woman in the photos, but Megumi doesn’t know her. He doesn’t believe that’s his mama when you have taken care of him his entire life. Genetically, he doesn’t have anything from you. But you treated him like the moms of his classmates. Therefore, you were a mom, his mom.

He doesn’t like the fact his dad is denying it, seeing how it’s starting to take its toll on you. But the poor boy didn’t know how much damage had already been done. For that reason, his gut feeling told him to hold you close for dear life. He couldn’t explain it as his vernacular being limited for his age. 

So he breaks out in a sprint towards you, not his dad. You blinked a few times before looking down at Megumi hugging your knees tightly. You and Toji gave each other a look before you crouched down to be at Megumi’s level. 

“Megumi, what’s wrong?”

He shakes his head as you rub his back softly to coax him into saying something. He was not budging and you gave Toji a concerned look. Toji sighs before proceeding to pick up Megumi.

“Come on, kid. Time to go home.”

But as soon as Toji’s hands were a few millimeters away from his son’s body, they were immediately smacked away. He stares with wide eyes at what just happened. Megumi didn’t care as he clung to your neck for dear life. Knowing Megumi was going to throw a tantrum, you and Toji decided it would be best for you to hold him.

On the walk home, Megumi’s answers were curt. A simple yes or no. You ruled it as him being cranking with a needed nap. Once home, you put Megumi down but he was glued to your bottom clothing for dear life. He never left you alone for a second. If you went to the bathroom, he’ll simply wait outside the door for you. Megumi also didn’t spare Toji one glance or spoke to him at all. It lasted up to dinner too. Megumi only answered and spoke to you only. If Toji did ask him something, he gave a plain answer.

Toji thought Megumi had a bad day so he let it slide. After putting in Megumi for the night, Toji sat at the table reading the newspaper while you washed the dishes. Tension wasn’t thick but it was there. Present enough that a rug couldn’t hide it. The both of you knew what the tension was about, it was who will be the one to bring it up first. The standoff lasted a few minutes when the first voice spoke, your voice.

“I don’t think we can continue on like this, Toji…”

Your words falling like dominos, setting off the inevitable confrontation.

“I can’t…I can’t have this relationship with you anymore, Toji.”

Although the man in question knew this was bound to happen, it didn’t stop him feeling a pinch of fear and guilt once it came.

“(Y/N), don't be like that. We can work this out–”

“Can we, Toji? Because every time we did, it always ended in an argument. The ones where you’re the only one yelling while I just take it…”

Once mentioned, Toji’s shame slowly took over his body. He was aware he always yelled at you, putting you through pain when you don’t deserve it. You never deserve any of it really. But Toji couldn’t bring it to him to apologize and make it up to you. Was it because he knew you would forgive him every time? Or was it because you allowed it to happen for the sake of keeping him and Megumi happy? He took you for granted, now he was facing the brute force of his consequences.

“Toji,” You paused before sighing. “I’ve been with you for five years yet our relationship hasn’t changed. I don’t know what I’m even to you… This has been the most confused and lonely I’ve felt. I know you stopped loving me, Toji…If you even loved me at all.”

Toji grunts and clears his throat, placing his paper down before looking at you.

“(Y/N), it’s not like that.”

“Then what is, Toji? Tell me, be honest and open your heart to me just this once. Tell me, truthfully, what this is to you? What am I to you?”

“I care about you, (Y/N). I like you a lot. I really do”

There, that was it for you. The nail in the coffin. This wasn’t the last straw that broke the camel’s back, but it confirmed everything that was already there. All telling of how Toji felt and saw you. You didn’t let it surface but you would have winced at the last part of his answer. ‘Like’, he’s always said that. Not once has an “I love you, (Y/N)” has left Toji for the past five years. Now knowing it will never come. It was decided from the start.

“Then I guess this is it for us, Toji.”

Before Toji could ask you what you meant, a muffled crying could be heard from Megumi’s room. You inhaled deeply and exhaled some of the weight off your chest before hanging the drying rag by the sink. You look at Toji with somber eyes before heading off to his son’s room.

“We’ll finish this in the morning, Toji.”

You peaked your head into Megumi’s room seeing the boy sniffle as he closely clutched his stuffed dog you got him. You closed the door softly and kneeled down by Megumi’s bedside. Making your presence known, Megumi looked up and jumped into your arms. You hugged him close, patting his back.

“I wanna sleep with Mama.”

Your breath hitched at the word. You loved when Megumi called you mama, but you weren’t her.

“You wanna sleep with Papa instead of (Y/N), Megumi—?”

“No! I wanna sleep with Mama!”

While you were a bit blown away by the kid’s declaration, you honored it as it would be the last time you get to hold him like this.

“Okay, I’ll sleep with you, Megumi.”

You set up a spare futon from Megumi’s closet and placed it on the floor. Tucking both of you in, you kissed his forehead as you held him close.

“Goodnight Megumi…I love you…”

“G’night, Mama…I love you too…”

Toji finds the two of you asleep. He could go sleep in his own bed but decided not to. Not tonight, at least, because he didn’t want to be alone. You stopped sleeping in his bed a year ago but Toji still didn’t get used to your absence in his bed. Even if he was the reason why you stopped.

He joins the two of you on the floor. Megumi on your right as you lay on your side, back turned towards the empty space Toji decided to occupy. His fingers and arm itched to pull you close, to hold you tightly against his chest. While battling his temptation, an image flashed in Toji’s mind. It was fast but Toji can make out what it was showing him.

Megumi was laying on your chest, snoozing away as you slept peacefully. Then the next image shows Toji with a gentle smile as he caresses your cheek then his hand moves to pat Megumi’s hair. Oddly enough, he didn’t hate his mind for conjuring up that imagination. He welcomed it earnestly.

He satisfied his itch by loosely draping his arm over your side. To him, this would suffice his need to be close, to be near you. To hold you in a somewhat intimate way before you disappear from his life.

For a kid his age, Megumi has impeccable social awareness and perception. But with that, he struggles to properly describe the situation with his limited vocabulary. It’s morning of the next day, and he notices you still hold the same eyes from yesterday. During the morning, he constantly asked if you were okay, if you needed something, checking up on you any way a child can. However, you replied you were just tired and under the weather, always sending Megumi a smile every time he asked. You didn’t want to worry the young boy for the truth will traumatize him and shatter his innocent reality. 

Toji knows the evitable will happen as he hears Megumi be concerned for you. Even so, for you to not involve his son is something he’ll silently be grateful for. As Megumi plays on the floor by the coffee table, you and Toji finish off the conversation from last night.

“(Y/N), we’ve been together for five years. You can’t simply throw it away.”

“Five years doesn’t mean anything, Toji, if the relationship doesn’t change or grow. Also, how can you say that I am throwing all of this away when it became one-sided for half of it. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was like that from the start.”

Toji’s eyes closed in on you as you stood your ground. You were leaning on the counter while he was sitting at the table. You looked at him exhausted and defeated. How come Toji is so adamant on keeping this alive when he was the main reason you made your decision? Was it guilt? Loneliness? Manipulation? It could be all three but you didn’t have enough in you to question it. 

“Fine then, I’ll admit I haven’t been treating you the best lately. I shouldn’t have exploded on you like the way I have for the past few months.”

“You have been doing it for almost a year, Toji. Not a few months.” You stoically corrected Toji.

Toji sighs once again, but it wasn’t out of frustration. Rather it was out of acknowledgement.

“Then I apologize for it. I knew what I was doing but I was stubborn to say sorry. But we can’t end like this, (Y/N).”

“No, Toji. That’s not how that works. Even your apologies won’t fix this. ”

“Then say it, (Y/N). Why are you breaking up with me after being together for five years—?” Toji says as he gets up and slowly walks towards you. Aware how he uses his size to intimidate and coax answers from people, you got used to his antics.

“Because Toji, you’re not ready. Even after me being by your side and through everything, you are still not ready to be in a serious committed relationship.”

Toji raises an eyebrow and squints his eyes at you. His action doesn’t phase you, as you stare back with unshaken eyes.

“What makes you say that, (Y/N)? How are you so sure about me not being ready–.”

“Then tell me, Toji Zen’in, you love me. I have been saying I love you to you since the second year out of the five. I know I loved you, Toji, and no one else. If you say it back to me and truly mean it, then I will get down on my knees and formally apologize for my assumptions and accusations towards you.” You spoke unwavering and firm, no sign of tremble or stutter as your eyes held the same expression.

Like a deer in headlights, Toji stood frozen with wide eyes. He was caught off guard by your statement. To say he loves you wasn’t such a hard statement but it held so much significance. The last time he said those words with utmost conviction was towards his late wife. Now he had to say those words in order for you to stay. Toji deeply cares and looks out for you in ways you aren’t aware of. But for you two to have this conversation meant he wasn’t fulfilling his role and promises to you. He let his fear of love and vulnerability hold him back in your relationship and you suffered from it. His throat snapped shut when he tried to fill the air with words to buy himself time. Toji’s mouth was open but nothing came out, not the fabled three words to make you stay. 

Seeing his mouth open but devoid of an answer, the door you kept open for so long now quietly shuts itself. Locking out whoever it was available for, purposefully locking Toji…and Megumi…out of your life. With a crestfallen smile, the stare you held softened as you shook your head.

“I’ll see myself out then, Zen’in-san. It’s unfortunate what we have had to end like this. But do know I don’t regret this or my love for you and Megumi.”

Megumi is standing by Toji as you say goodbye. You hugged Megumi tight, soaking in the warmth of the kind child one last time before you walked out of his life forever.

“Megumi, promise me you will be a good and kind boy, listening to your papa?”

Megumi nods while being pressed to your shoulder.

“I have to go, Megumi… I love you…”

Megumi breaks away to look up at you, staring into your eyes. There was a slight warmth to them making him break into a small smile.

“I love you too, Mama…”

You smile warmly to him one last time, memorizing him so he wouldn’t fade from your memories. You kissed his forehead before entering your car and driving off. Toji didn’t get angry at what you said to Megumi. Nor did he when Megumi referred to you as mama. He was feeling too downhearted at your departure, his son waving at your fading car in the distance. Unknowingly that would be the last time Megumi would ever see you.

Megumi waited for you the next day, asking for you. Toji thought he could avoid giving Megumi the truth but he caved in when he started to miss your presence. 

“She’s gone, Megumi…(Y/N) won't be here anymore…Mama’s not coming back to us anymore…”

Then a loud sob escaped the child, his voice shrill and full of heartbreak. Megumi’s tears were endless and no amount of comfort from Toji could calm him down. Toji can hear his son cry out your name and ‘Mama’ during breaks from his wailing. Megumi’s wailing only stopped because he completely cried himself to exhaustion. Even when Toji tucks him into bed, Megumi’s whimpers for you in his sleep. Toji closes his eyes as he sits at the kitchen table alone and cold. His face in his hands as his reality comes crashing down on him. He should’ve fought you to stay, fought to keep the relationship, to make it up to you so you wouldn’t leave them. To leave him alone with his son. 

Fully dawning on him that he misses you, your smile, your laugh, the sound of your voice, your kindness and compassion. He laughs at how ironic the situation is. He has the audacity to take you for granted after everything you’ve done for him and Megumi. Took your love and loyalty for granted after being with him for five years. Then now you rightfully leave and he gets all depressed and heart-broken even though it’s all his fault. Toji lets his tears freely fall from his face as he lost another person in his life. But why does your departure leave a huge hole in his heart? More gut-wrenching and devastating than of his late wife’s passing?

He ponders on it as he sits with his lonesome pathetic self. Not realizing the spot he sat in was your designated seat at the kitchen table.

This wasn't easier on you either. As you drove away, your eyes kept flickering between the road and the rearview mirror. Forcing yourself to catch Megumi’s wave as he and Toji become specks in the background. The drive wasn’t long but it felt like an eternity getting to your place. Becoming agonizingly slow due to sensing your breaking composure and the dam of tears cracking as the minutes past. Parking in front of your place, you let everything loose. You didn’t stop the rush of tears nor held in your sobs any longer. You cried your heart out inside your car, not finding enough energy to do it in the confines of your apartment. You didn’t care how crazy and pitiful you looked to any passersby. You needed this out of your system because the pressure of your emotions became too much. After a good 30 minute crying session, you take a deep breath while sitting in the car. 

You fished for your phone and dialed a phone number, wiping your tears away with a sniffle. The phone rings three times before the call goes through.

“(Y/N)? Is everything okay?”

“(Bsf/N)…Remember what you said a while back? I hope you can honor it…Because now’s a good time for it…”

“Hold on, (Y/N)…I’m coming over. Give me seven minutes, hang in there for me.”

The call ends as you stare up at your sunroof, seeing blue hues of the sky bleeding into orange. You laid back into your seat. Focusing on your breathing as your arm draped over your eyes. Your body ached and stung everywhere. Though you were done crying, your heart was in a million pieces and lost all of its warmth. You mumbled out something as you waited.

“I’m so sorry, Megumi…Mama is so sorry…”

A week later, Toji goes to your apartment complex to attempt any possibility of trying again. He walks up to your door and knocks. Around this time, you would usually be home and decompressing from the day. He didn’t see your car but it’s probably getting an oil change. You did talk about getting one soon in the upcoming weeks. He would have knocked again if it wasn’t for one of the neighboring tenants.

“Hi, um, sorry to bother you, sir. Are you friends with (Y/N)?”

Toji’s fist froze mid knock as he turned to the young woman who addressed him.

“I am, actually. I just needed to talk to her.”

“Oh, I see. Excuse me for intruding but unfortunately (Y/N) doesn’t live here anymore.”

Toji’s breath got caught in his chest along with his heart to a standstill. The only thing Toji could feel was the light breeze that passed by. He slowly pivoted his body to face the tenant, looking at her with a strained expression. 

“I’m sorry. What do you mean she doesn’t live here anymore?”

“Some time last week, she sold her space and moved out. All within a day too. No one knew she was leaving, but it didn’t look like she was rushing to leave. I ran into her actually after she turned in her keys. I asked her why she was moving. Her answer was she found a place for a good deal and it was closer to her work so she took it. It’s a shame, she was a really good neighbor too. Everyone in the complex loved her.”

Toji felt his blood freeze over and his hand became clammy. Last week was when you broke up with him but he didn’t know about this. You never mentioned moving or finding a new place when together. He mentally curses himself at how fast you were slipping away.

“Thank you for the information, Miss. Did she mention where she was moving by any chance?”

The woman thought about it but shook her head.

“Sorry, but she didn’t say where. I would assume the heart of the city but that’s me guessing. Sorry that this isn’t much.”

“No, it's fine. Thank you for your help, I appreciate it. I’ll leave now so I’m not trespassing here.”

Toji goes to leave but the tenant remembers something.

“Wait! Excuse me again, but I just remembered something else. When I was talking to her last week, I couldn’t help but notice her usual smile doesn’t reach her eyes. Her eyes felt sad like they lost some sort of warmth to them. I didn’t want to be rude but I can tell she was dealing with something painful. If you manage to run into her, please make sure she’s alright.”

Toji’s heart starts to bleed at her observation. He really fucked up, didn’t he? So bad that people are starting to notice it. He could’ve had a good life with you and his son, he looks back on it now. He could have had it all but he self-sabotage himself, ruined everything for him, for you, and even for his son who his late wife asked to take care of as her dying wish.

After thanking the tenant, Toji books it to the heart of Tokyo. He tried calling you but an automated voice told him the number he dialed was currently out of service. You changed your phone number too? He searches through the crowds, hoping to find you in the raging sea of people. Any sign of you, just anything for him to know you were here. But you were gone without trace, just as he did with you in his apartment. With no chance of seeing you in sight, Toji curses himself once again at his undeserving nature and carelessness. He goes back home defeated, wondering what life will be like now without you in it.

Looking out the window, your eyes wandered to the busy streets below. Your mind is wondering about what Toji and Megumi are up to. It was a painful relationship, no doubt about it. But you couldn’t deny the warm memories with Megumi or how Toji treated you early on. Though they can’t be with you anymore, you could never forget those two no matter how much time passes.

You desired for things to have gone differently and worked out in the end. Unfortunately, you can’t change what has already happened. 

This was your new life. 

You wish things didn’t turn out this way but life goes on, even without them in the picture.

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~Metamorphosis~

An AU idea... what happens if Howdy Pillar completes his transformation into a butterfly?