#tw suicide letters

[maybelia]

Reading multiple papers in order to check what is the best format for a sui letter I'm writing is literally the most me branded thing I've done in years

I'm thriving

[gavroche-le-moineau]

I'm late with this translation note for today's chapter but it feels really important. The line I want to highlight in Hapgood reads:

“Suicide, that mysterious act of violence against the unknown which may contain, in a measure, the death of the soul, was impossible to Jean Valjean.”

In French the first part of that line is “Le suicide, cette mystérieuse voie de fait sur l’inconnu...”

The expression translated as "act of violence" is "voie de fait," which is specifically the legal term "assault / battery," and can also be more generally an unlawful act.

"Voie" means way/route/road/lane, and "fait" is a fact/event/occurrence (coming from the verb faire = to do or to make). To help understand the literal meaning of the expression, let's look at its counterpart, "Voie de droit," which has a more straightforward translation in English as "legal recourse," i.e. "path of the law." Now if we turn back to the expression that means "assault" or "an unlawful act," it's describing the path of the fact, the event that occurred, the thing that was done.

The unlawful nature of this act is highlighted by the use of this expression, especially in its direct opposition with "the way of the law" (musical, anyone?). It seems particularly important to me that this expression is used to describe a course of action which Javert, who clings to the law above all else, will soon take.

[yearningaces]

Angst

How do bun people deal with DEATH? How would they mourn, what are their rituals like? What would happen if a family member from nyxs family died?

Follow up

How would he feel about his mate dying?

(I love angst, give me all the angst)

Pain and anguish and death and decay and rot and-

Read the tags folks, I don't want anyone caught off guard even if things are tame and non graphic 👍

Bunny-folks are deeply in tune with nature and earth. I think for them it isn't as mournful as it is for humans. You lay your dead in the earth, bury them deep, cover them with a blanket, and feel comforted knowing they will feed the land that fed them for their lifetime

Nyx is of similar mindset... This is where the issues begin

Humans are loud about how death feels to them. Some are quiet and grieve silently, some are vocal especially if it's not then grieving.

So for Nyx's partner to pass of course he's in agony, his safe space, his love, his incredible mate who made him feel strong and protected and capable of anything and so cherished... Is just gone.

He could take solace in them resting peacefully in the earth, as if in the deepest sleep they so very much deserve for such a life they lived

But humans hardly let one of their own rest even after death.

Because many places have laws for the dead. You can't be buried here, you can't be buried this way, you have to be buried in an approved zone you have to be bound in a box you have to be taken away by a mortician and carved open and analyzed and prepared all alone with no one to protect your body and it's law and Nyx is breaking apart because the last thing he can do is protect what was yours and let you be laid to a gentle peace but instead your body is hoarded and hounded by greed and others deciding what to do with you even though they don't know you-

For the first time Nyx feels almost feral, he wants to bite to kick to scream to fight and sob and wail and mourn he just wants you to be given peace and rest so why won't these damned strangers leave???

He has to be held back actually. Whenever someone eventually comes to take your body for 'approved' handling of a corpse, he has to be held back by his family or even another human at worst because he will fight everyone with everything in him because they can't take you life already left you, death has claimed you and what little of you he can lay to peace is being taken and he's screaming his throat raw until his voice gives out and he's a trembling exhausted slumping form.

You're buried in a cemetery. In a box. No blanket to tuck you in for your final rest, no gentle earth to hold you and express its gratitude for your return to its grasp. You've been buried close to strangers. His family that has become your own is nowhere here.

The cemetery is far colder than the warmth of the forest where the only headstones are the favorite type of trees planted where someone has been laid to rest.

Nyx is in agony. He's lost you, and he's ready to break.

But he can't even find peace in ensuring you've been given the rest you deserve, and for that he wishes he could dig into the cold soil and rest with you, just so you're not alone down there, just so he's not alone up here.

If no one stops him, he very well might.

It's dark so late at night.

The cemetery is cold.

No one is here.

He weeps.

He digs.

[dailykafka]

— Franz Kafka's letter to Max Brod, 1917

[2129888]

i don't remember how i stumbled across this interview but i've never seen anyone mention it so i'm dropping it here <3 it's a little dated but still like super valuable and a decently in depth look at higuchi-sensei's previous works and how she works and thinks as a mangaka... personally i think it's the most i've ever learned from an interview of hers. super interesting stuff :0)

[clevercatchphrase]

Page 270

Days in the future... (but not many. Only, like, 1 or 2)

PSYCHE! JUMPING RIGHT INTO THE NEXT MEMORY EVEN THOUGH I JUST FINISHED ONE BECAUSE I WAS TOO CHICKEN TO SPLIT SNOWDIN PART 1 IN HALF AND NOW THESE TWO NEED TO BE BACK TO BACK FOR PACING REASONS!! (This'll be the only time in the comic this happens, though. All other memories will be between arc parts as pre-established).

Reminder! In two weeks I will be taking a month long break from making/posting comic pages in order to participate in Nanowrimo! If you are a member of my patreon, you will NOT be charged for the month of November!

(Links coming in afternoon reblog!)

[jankwritten]

Jasico Bingo Challenge: love letter

A sheet of paper, folded into thirds, dotted in places with what must be water and grass stains. The handwriting is legible in some places, and shaky in others. In the margins are small doodles of birds, clouds, trees, and other miscellaneous, abstract shapes, as if the writer’s mind kept wandering. 

TO: Nico di Angelo 

FROM: Jason Grace 

Hey, Nico. If you’re reading this, something probably happened to me. Maybe I hit my head again and lost my memories, or something, and you went through my stuff to try and find things to remind me of who I was. Maybe this fell out while we were hanging out, one day, and you saw it was addressed to you and you picked it up. Maybe I died—

However you found this, I guess, surprise! :) 

First thing’s first: I’m sorry for leaving. I know I begged you to stay, and then turned around and left, and I really hope you understand - I didn’t leave because of you. I needed to find Leo, and leaving with Piper was the easiest way to do that. I had to try and get him back. 

I wanted you to come with, but you were still healing and things were going really well with you and Will. I hope things still are, in fact. Wherever I am, I’m so proud of you for how far you’ve come, and how much I’m sure you continued to grow even after I left. 

I really love you, man. I never got to tell you that, but you’re one of my best, closest friends. You mean so much to me. You showed me a side of the world that I never would’ve seen otherwise, and gave me a space to be myself, and I will never, ever know how I deserved that. How I deserve you. 

Is that out of left field? Haha it definitely is. Sorry. 

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Nico. I didn’t want to leave. I’m so sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry I had to go and I’m sorry it had to be me, but it couldn’t be her, Nico, it can’t be her, it can’t be. It has to be me. 

It has to be. 

Here, some of the words are smeared from the water marks. Lines cross through some words that have then been re-written, as if in after-thought the author realized they were too important to delete. 

If you really are reading this, after the worst case scenario, I understand if you’re angry. I understand if you never want to think about me again, after what I’ve done. I’ll understand if you storm to your father’s palace and demand I be placed in the worst of the worst punishments for being so stupid. 

Gods. Gods, Nico, I’m never going to get to tell you how I really feel. About all of this, about everything I’m going through, I’m never going to be able to tell you and that hurts. It hurts more than knowing I’m going to die, it hurts more than getting stabbed and poisoned. I’m going to die loving you and you won’t even know until it’s too late. 

Maybe this is a stupid bad idea. Maybe I should let it die with me. Is it cruel, to tell you how I feel if I’m gone? Does this make me an awful person? 

Shit. I think I’m an awful person, Nico. I’m awful and I’m selfish and I can never choose things for myself, it always has to be for the greater good, so this is it. This is as selfish as I can be. This is all I can be for you. 

I want to see you on the other side. I want you to punch me for getting myself killed and hate me for being a hero and I want you to know that I didn’t want this but it needed to be me. It has to be me. 

I’m still wrapping my head around it, but it has to be me, okay? So if I’m really gone when you’re reading this, okay, you have to let me stay gone. Please. If you get hurt, if you die, and it’s my fault, I could never— 

Here, the letter abruptly stops. Then, it continues: 

That’s all I wanted to say, anyway. That I love you. I love you in any way I can, and even if I’ve done it silently, and stupidly, from a distance, just know that it was there, the whole time. It’s still there, wherever I am. Dead, or lost, or whatever. I love you, Nico. I’m sorry.

-- Jason Grace :)

[pumpkinspice-prouvaire]

Javert when Valjean doesn't kill him at the barricades, giving him undeniable proof that a man is not necessarily evil just because the law says he is, and he's forced to reevaluate his entire belief system:

[weltraum-vaquero]

If Jayce lived in the same spot as the one on the newly released arcane map during act one, I can’t help but think about the long walk back from Cait’s home after getting called a misfit and deciding he was going to kill himself.

[asoftepiloguemylove]

"How do we forgive ourselves for all of the things we did not become?"

Doc Luben, 14 Lines from Love Letters or Suicide Notes

[vlouette]

hey hi hello 👋 I'm in the mood for something angsty rn ANYWAYS what if jegulus broke up and James left a letter for regulus

TW: suicide mention, low self esteem

I'm genuinely very bad at this, English isn't my first language and I'm also not the best at writing stuff.

Dear reggie reg regulus

I hope this letter reaches you in good condition. I still have so many unsaid things to tell you but I'll keep this letter as short and simple as possible.

I want to start by saying that I am sorry, sorry for everything I've done, I'm sorry for letting you go so easily, I'm sorry for leaving so early. Ever since we broke up I've been thinking about leaving, I couldn't handle the pressure, the heartbreak, and everything that came to me in life. I felt like a burden going around places. I was useless, as useless as I would've been if I was dead. I was in the backyard a few days ago, thinking of reasons to stay alive, thinking of people who would miss me if I was dead, I came to the conclusion that maybe the world would be a better place without me.

I fell in love with you the first time I saw you, dark ashy blue eyes looking at me and I melted right there, I decided I would love you for the rest of my life (which I now realise is not very long). But I fulfilled my promise, I loved you till my last breath there isn't one universe where James Potter could live without Regulus Black. I remembered the song we used to dance to in the kitchen, stargazing in the backyard, reading books together even if I can't stay concentrated, baking cupcakes together while dancing on the counter, walking around the neighborhood till very late at night, going to different museums together because you loved them.

I have always loved every inch of you but if I had to pick one thing it would be your voice, your gentle, delicate words that carries deathly venom if you use them wrong. I remember when you used to tell me about the stars, your voice filled with passion and love, I would sell my soul just to listen to your voice once more I would give anything just to be with you for some more time, why did it have to end? why couldn't fate give us more time. Maybe that's how our story is supposed to go, not all story gets their happy ending, maybe ours was meant to end like this, I still love you Regulus Black, and I always will, I will bring my love for you to death.

I want you to remember me, even till death.

I think that's all, I promised to keep this letter short and simple after all, maybe in another lifetime we'd have more time, maybe in another universe we're living the dream life, but in this one it was always meant to end, sooner or later.

I guess this is goodbye, I'll see you in another lifetime.

James

Love Jamie

Yours always

-J

JUST TO CLARIFY! yes James did kill himself 🫶

[givehimthemedicine]

tw for more suicide stuff -

also do you ever think about how the way Max (who struggles to express her feelings) was able to crank out very heavy, final-words letters to everyone important to her all in one night makes it seem awfully likely she had a head start on this project?

what's the likelihood that Max already had these letters at least partially mentally drafted as suicide notes that she would (most likely? hopefully?) never really write - and then ended up having to put them to paper after all, just as homicide notes instead?

the Billy letter being last is another indication, I think.

Billy is the root of her depression on multiple levels. she's been ruminating about her guilt for months, yet Billy's is the last letter we see her complete. why would she leave the most mind-consuming one for last?

because his is the only one she had to fully compose on the spot, because she hadn't already worded it in her mind, because he's the one person she wouldn't have had to leave a note for.

[seariii]

The argument for guilty/unforgiven Amane is not just to prevent her from hurting Shidou.

Sorry (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠) I really don't intend to change your vote or anything, but it's been stressing me out that some people seem to believe that's it with our argument.

Amane has "warned" Mahiru, which to me reads like a threat. Even if she couldn't actually kill Shidou, Mahiru here who is an easy target, who can't move properly, could easily be hurt or killed by her.

And on the other hand Amane doesn't have to kill Shidou, she just has to hurt him, and that could honestly be easy with a surprise and quick attack. She could incapacitate him and prevent him from giving health care to others. And this is important because Haruka is gonna try to kill himself, and he's gonna need urgent care afterwards.

And I've got a feeling some way or another we are gonna get some more people harmed in between t2 and t3.

So yeah we care about Shidou, but we care more about him being the only doctor and what that means to the others. That's why I posted this whole trial feeling like the trolley problem lol.

(there is also the argument that worries me the most that is Amane trying to convert Fuuta, but that's another post that someone else already made)

I love Amane and I honestly don't see her killing her abuser as something wrong, but she sees her murder as something supported by the cult. So I believe neither verdicts will be good for her, I feel since she got voted guilty on t1 she was doomed. But either way whether she ends up forgiven or unforgiven, I'll still be excited to see what happens next. I just don't like people missinterpreting our arguments.

So whether you are an inno or a guilty voter, don't forget to vote <3 and hope you all have a good day

[everybodyshusband]

angst is angsting. please tread carefully.

cw. dewdrop angst, self hatred, self harm, suicide.

this ritual has happened many times before. with dewdrop it’s no different. the holy water splashed across his face, his hands, feet. doing its best to cleanse him of his many impurities.

the stone slab is cold against his back. or at least, he thinks it is. he’s not present enough in himself to know what he does or does not feel.

fear is there, he thinks. he’s seen the aftermath of this ritual many times throughout his life, but never seen or experienced the true act of it. he’s come close. almost barging in on ifrit. zephyr. aether too. but on all three of those occasions something had stopped him. he regrets it now. regrets not stopping them. and their executioners.

peace, also. as scared as he thinks he is, there’s certainty somewhere inside him as well. he knows this is what is best. for himself, the abbey, his pack. they’ll thrive without him weighing them down. that’s what sister had said to him. or maybe that conversation had happened in his head. he’s not sure. he’s not sure of anything anymore.

but. that’s not quite true. he’s sure of the sensation of the executioner’s blade dragging over his limbs. teasing him. taunting him. reminding dewdrop just how close his demise truely is. it’s cruel, really. and despite the fact his eyes are open, he can’t see. no matter how badly he longs to understand the hand holding the gilded knife, he can’t. not without his sight.

the blade digs in. someone on his thigh, he thinks. he’s naked on the slab. the executioner has his entire body as a canvas, why not have fun with it. torture the prey a little bit.

dewdrop isn’t tied down. he finds that strange. but then again, he’s not sure he wants to escape. he knows he deserves this. deserves every ounce of pain the cruel hand is about to deal out to him.

the blade of the knife continues taunting him as he thinks. thinks about how much he deserves this. thinks that maybe, he’s not that scared after all. not if his participation in this ritual will be better for the pack. the band. the abbey. everyone.

the knife digs into his arm, running up the entire length of his inner forearm, flaying him open. the pain is agonising. he screams. the executioner doesn’t seem to care. the knife digs in again right as blood starts to rush to the surface. it slices through already broken lines of skin, tearing through muscle and fat like butter.

the executioner repeats the actions on dewdrop’s other arm. then on his thighs. he’s bleeding out. intentionally having his arteries sliced open until he bleeds out and becomes a shrivelled husk of who he once was.

he doesn’t want to be here as he bleeds out. doesn’t want to be conscious. the pain is starting to creep in and it’s horrific. he can’t stop screaming. he thinks he’s sobbing to. crying out apologies to everyone he’s ever impacted throughout his miserable life.

the knife comes to his throat. it shakes against the vulnerable skin. if the executioner is having second thoughts, it’s too late. he’s dying. he can’t be saved. not now.

when the knife finally digs into his throat, silencing his last breath, he realises his own hand holds the blade.

[danjaley]

Fiona: Oh my goodness, he’s gone and done it!

Ysobel: Has anyone killed himself!?

Fiona: Oh no! Matt eloped and got married!

[fantabulisticity]

Formal Complaint from HRC Triggers Department of Education Investigation into Owasso Public Schools Following Attacks on Nex Benedict

March 1, 2024 WASHINGTON — Today, the U.S. Department of Education informed Human Rights Campaign (HRC) President Kelley Robinson that the department will open an investigation in response to HRC’s letter regarding Owasso Public Schools and its failure to respond appropriately to sex-based harassment that may have contributed to the tragic death of Nex Benedict (he/they), a 16-year-old 2STGNC+ (Two Spirit, transgender, or gender nonconforming+) teen of Choctaw heritage. This investigation was triggered by a formal complaint made last week by Robinson, who wrote to U.S. Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona and asked his department to use the enforcement mechanisms at its disposal to prevent similar tragedies from taking place in the future and to help hold accountable those responsible for Nex’s tragic death. The letter from the Department of Education reads: “the U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights (OCR), is opening for investigation the above-referenced complaint that you filed against the Owasso Public Schools (the District). Your complaint alleges that the District discriminated against students by failing to respond appropriately to sex-based harassment, of which it had notice, at Owasso High School during the 2023-2024 school year.” “Nex’s family, community, and the broader 2SLGBTQI+ (two spirit, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and intersex+) community in Oklahoma are still awaiting answers following their tragic loss. We appreciate the Department of Education responding to our complaint and opening an investigation–we need them to act urgently so there can be justice for Nex, and so that all students at Owasso High School and every school in Oklahoma can be safe from bullying, harassment, and discrimination.” -- Kelley Robinson, President of the Human Rights Campaign The full text of the letter from the Department of Education in response to HRC can be found here. The full text of the initial letter from HRC President Kelley Robinson to Secretary Cardona can be found here. According to the letter, OCR is opening the following issues for investigation: Whether the District failed to appropriately respond to alleged harassment of students in a manner consistent with the requirements of Title IX. Whether the District failed to appropriately respond to alleged harassment of students in a manner consistent with the requirements of Section 504 and Title II. HRC sent a second letter to the Department asking it to promptly begin an investigation into the Oklahoma State Department of Education, as well as the current State Superintendent of Public Instruction, Ryan Walters. In addition: -- Robinson wrote to Attorney General Merrick Garland asking the Department of Justice to begin an investigation into Nex’s death.

-- Robinson wrote to Dr. Margaret Coates, superintendent of the Owasso school district in Oklahoma, calling for the superintendent to take advantage of the Human Rights Campaign’s Welcoming Schools program— the most comprehensive bias-based bullying prevention program in the nation to provide LGBTQ+ and gender inclusive training and resources — and offering to bring experts to the district immediately.