#tw: mentioned conversion therapy

[uncanny-tranny]

The first mistake I see people make is assuming there are completely "nonviolent" ways to be transphobic. It seems like some people conceptualize transphobia as being either violent (which is always physical in some way) or nonviolent (which is "simple" emotional, verbal, or psychological abuse)

It seems, also, that people presume that when somebody has "noble" intentions for their transphobia - "I'm trying to save you!" for instance - it is suddenly nonviolent. Consider, though, how a transphobe would "save" a trans person. Would they allow that person to exist unadulterated (including being able to transition), or would they prefer to put them through conversion therapy, or revoke their access to bodily autonomy, or force them to have children, or anything that will prevent them from transition or even identifying as trans or otherwise tying them down with the obligations that prevent transition or identifying as trans?

There is no true "nonviolent" way to be transphobic because being transphobic relies on denying one the ability to autonomy and personhood. Fundamentally, even the transphobes who "want to save us" only do so in their own self-interest to save them from the horror of knowing that more people than they are alive and thriving.

[intothedysphoria]

Steve was aware of the irony of the fact that he was hiding in a literal closet instead of messaging a hot man he’d met at work. That didn’t stop him from doing it though.

Searching “how to make gay thoughts go away” had just lead him to conversion therapy websites and that made Steve run out of the tab at the speed of sound. He wasn’t trying to repress anything. He just needed these inconvenient feelings to become a little more manageable.

Billy from work was beautiful, granted. He kind of looked like a bad boy, with the motorcycle and the leather jacket and the whole 1980s rebel aesthetic. That really was very in right now. But he also was fussy about the way he took his tea and read obscure French sci-fi and apparently owned like six cats.

Telling Billy his dream of having six kids was probably coming on a little strong. Then again, Steve wasn’t very good at doing things casually.

He’d told a first date he loved them. Twice. Who knows where he’d be if it hadn’t been Carol?

It was utterly humiliating. So Steve decided that he was going to hide in his closet, with his iPad and a bowl of grapes until it went away.

The plan was foolproof. It really was. Except Billy had given Steve his number, presumably in the assumption that Steve would actually text him.

That was a big assumption. Steve’s only real experience texting a guy in a way that wasn’t platonic was Tommy Hagan in high school. Most of the time he’d just text “what’s up man” then they’d give each other sad, repressed handjobs in Tommy’s attic bedroom.

“What’s up man” probably wasn’t going to work on Billy. He couldn’t really panic and use a straight persona on someone who’d presumably shared his number in the hopes of a hookup. Date. Anything.

Babe felt a bit strong. Did gay men call each other babe? Maybe the closet was getting to Steve’s head because his breathing had started to come out quick and panicky. Fucking shit.

He was going to text Billy, then hide from his phone for the next four hours. Yes, that was a good plan. Hide from the feelings Steve.

He rambled something out about Billy being hot, Steve being a hot mess and pressed send before he could think about it too much. Then he put his phone on silent and went to wash the dust out of his hair.

Billy hadn’t texted back by the time Steve had gotten out of the shower. Texting again would make him seem clingy and fucking weird. He put on Legally Blonde, the comfort film he’d resolved to tell nobody about and decided to forget about it.

The hours ticked away and Steve slowly went about his daily routine, phone sitting forgotten on the counter. Dustin visited, Steve endured a lengthy conversation about Dungeons and Dragons, and he finally made pizza without burning it to a crisp.

Then he remembered.

Shit.

Running to check his phone and cursing the fact that his hands were still sticky from the pizza, Steve stumbled through unlocking the passcode and found five new messages. All from Billy. Some slightly panicked.

Steve was not the only clingy one it seemed. So he phoned.

Billy still sounded kind of breathless when he picked up which made Steve kick himself. The poor guy had been waiting for a message back for six hours and Steve had been hiding from his phone.

They managed to establish some stuff.

Both of them were attracted to each other. Neither were good at doing casual. And both of their Fridays were free.

Perfect.

Steve did awkward finger guns at Billy when they stepped into the restaurant but considering Billy managed to trip over his motorcycle helmet, he thought that wouldn’t be an issue.

And he managed not to say I love you when Billy took his hand on the way out, which was progress.

Maybe on the next date then.

For the lovely @shieldofiron who as much as she loves angst also loves some cheesy fluff

[thelaboratorysguilt]

Why I don’t want KOSA to become a act: A message to those who support it

I have a non-binary friend who likes women. I have a transgender friend. Their parents don’t know this. And they are not good. If they were found out, their lives would change for the worse.

They would possibly be sent to conversion therapy, be shunned, be abused, they would be hurt, they would be disowned, be forced to be someone they aren’t.

If you want safety for the people. Why do you want it to be your very own, sanitized world full of nuclear families who have unhappy parents because they have been forced into the american rules. Why do you want that kind of world where we watch football while people are dying. Why do you want silence, not freedom? I thought this country was a free country. This country is a horrible place, and I can’t with this. We’d lose friends we made online, we would lose them and we can’t get them back, we can’t do that. Because the government would have eyes and ears all over, the content we watch would be dictated. The media would have to be approved.

We live in a world that can’t listen. We live in a world that is soon to become a dystopia if we don’t act. We live in this horrible world.

Signed, a Aromantic asexual. Someone who may get exposed to the government if this bill gets passed by the law.

[demonic-ninja-cat]

Hazbin Hotel Criticism - Heaven, Hell, & 'Rehabilitation'

I'm gonna make a disclaimer that I haven't seen the show in full, but i have listened to a bunch of the songs and watched some clips and read/watched a lot of things about it.

Also, tbh, I'm against the idea of eternal torture afterlives in general, even if it is only horrible bad abhorrent people who are sent there, so that probably gives me some bias about this show.

I also have a bunch of christianity-specific religious trauma, so I'll be talking about Hazbin from that perspective. I'm gonna be very negative about christianity and it's afterlife system, so christians don't read or interact with this post!

I've seen tons of very valid criticisms on Hazbin Hotel, and I wanted to add my own to the table; especially since I haven't seen some of what I'm about to talk about, actually talked about before.

In this post I'm mainly gonna be talking about how it's main premise fails, and how there's some issues with it that I'm pretty sure aren't addressed at all in the show, and a bit on how some of the issues add fuel to the theory that Vivziepop isn't really wanting to critique christianity at all.

Onto the premise: the 'redemption' of 'Sinners' so they can get to Heaven. Even the premise itself is very pro-Christian, other than the edgy demon/hell coat of paint that turns Christians off. If it was about humans while they were still alive, instead of demons, the Christians would love it. This(and the fact that she refuses to have God in the show) is why i agree with the idea that Vivziepop isn't try to critique christianity really.

She might be trying to critique the specific flavor of christianity that believes in predestination(as some other posters have said), because in Hazbin she shows that she thinks people should be allowed to change and work to gain entrance to Heaven, but that Heaven & Hell should still exist. However, that doesn't critique all of christianity, and it shows that she likely doesn't think that christianity itself is bad and flawed and in need of real critique.

And even that aside, there are parts of the plot that don't work, especially if the intention is to show that Heaven and it's requirements to enter are flawed. Which it seemed that she was trying to do with the “nobody really knows what gets a human soul into heaven!” twist in the show.

For example, if they really wanted to show that Heaven's entry system is flawed/biased/rigged/unfair, they should have shown more 'sinner' demons in hell who were genuinely good people but were sent to hell for stupid and/or unknown reasons. Like, all the main characters who are 'sinners' are bad people(serial killers, cannibals, mafia members, abusers, etc.), so if you think that there should be an eternal punishment afterlife, these are exactly the kind of people who should be there and the system isn't as unfair as they claim.

In order to fix this, and really show that the system is flawed and unfair, they need to have actually good 'sinners'. People who were nice people in life(and maybe even are still nice), but who were sent to Hell because they broke one of Heaven's bullshit old testament-type rules(eg. killed someone in self-defense and/or accidentally, or did intoxicating substances but never hurt anyone, or was sexually active outside of marriage, or was gay/trans if you want to go that way with it).

They would also need to change the main characters' goal from "getting 'sinners' to Heaven", into something like "change the system" or "topple the angelic government" or "stop the exterminations and make hell a better place to live". They could have Charlie want to do the 'redemption hotel' thing at first, but learn that Heaven is fucked-up and unfair, and that she should be more proactive about bettering things for demonkind in hell and fighting the system made by heaven, instead of just working within the system to 'save' individual demons by sending them to Heaven.

Also, another flaw with the 'redemption to Heaven as the end goal' thing is that not all demons would want to go to heaven, even to escape the exterminations. And i'm not just talking about the ones who are fucked up assholes who want to keep the power they have in hell either. I'm talking about actual good-person demons, who would still choose not to go to the hotel or try for heaven, simply because they don't want to live with and as the species that has been trying to wipe their kind out for thousands of years.

And like, i know i'm white so i should leave most of the discussions about this to the actual POC, so i'll keep this segment short, but i agree with what i've seen in other posts about Charlie/the plot being very white savior-y. Yes Charlie is still a demon, but she's both a Hellborn(and thus not the main target of the exterminations) and is the Princess Of Hell(and is thus on the top of Hell's hierarchy/social classes). And the whole thing with wanting to 'rehabilitate' Demons so they are sent to Heaven and turned into Angels, also gives me icky "saving the backwards evil people by teaching them to be like the advanced good people and taking them away from their horrible scary homes!" style white savior narrative vibes(think “Willy Wonka with the Oompa Loompas” type shit).

I have no problem with people who were once bad people becoming better and going through redemption arcs and such, and i am very pro-therapy and rehabilitation(though i do think that abusers and r*pists and such should not just be allowed to walk around scot-free and able to hurt more victims). However, the way it's done in Hazbin Hotel and the reasoning behind it(mostly to escape being genocided by the very people they have to join if their rehabilitation is 'successful'), makes it come off more like conversion 'therapy' or forced cultural assimilation, rather than than actual rehabilitation, at least to me.

[blubefishy]

I think what hbomberguy missed out on his video was the way James Somerton also dismissed ace people's oppression by claiming that they didn't 'go through conversion therapy' or apparently 'suffered as much as gay men'.

So here's a video I want to share by the Ace Couple going into depth about the whole thing and how James reacted when called out... spoilers, he didn't react well. I just hope by James' mistakes he and other people can learn something and grow.

[feelingthedisaster]

i dont undertand the need of lgbtq+ to hate on aspecs

"we need to discuss other issues that cause more deaths/urgent problems on the queer community" okay, lets talk about them, its important, lets talk and spread awareness and...wait you arent doing that, you are wasting time hating on aspecs instead of using that time to talk and spread awareness on those issues

"they arent opressed like we are" first, when being lgbtqia+ became a opression olympics? second, are we forgetting corrective rape, conversion "therapy" is still legal even in those countrys who have "banned" it, medical abuse/malpractise?

"they arent queer" im not gonna get into the same argument over and over

"an aro man harassed me" because he is a creep and a bad person, not because he is aro. all communities have bad people on them, it doesnt mean the entire community is bad

but most importantly, can we stop focusing on hating on each other for absolutly nothing and "they are crying wolf" and focus on the massive waves of transphobia? or queer teens on the streets? or the violent hate-crimes? lets stop this senseless arguments that dont help anyone and focus in something that actually puts lives in danger instead of "i dont want them in my gay club/bar"

get your priorities straight

what do you actually want? hate on aspecs for not being opressed enough or spread awareness about the opression you suffer?

[twcfaces]

"Not to rain on anyone's Pride Parade, but you know Arkham Asylum practiced methods of conversion therapy as recently as 1973, right? You might think that's forever ago, but it's not."

[b00knerd1o1]

The person who started Conversion 'therapy' was a student of the man who created ABA 'therapy' and borrowed many ideas from it.

[anti-terf-posts]

Why do you defend detransitioners when most of them are transphobic and toxic? I was forced to detransiton for a few years, and I was part of that community, and they largely support transphobia, transmedicalism, enbyphobia, conversation therapy, threats of rape as a way to make people stop being trans, and they fetishize transphobia and abuse. When I was in that community, I saw so many miserable detransitioners kill themselves because of feeling like they should have been trans but just couldn't, and I saw so many others encourage suicide in trans people.

When I retransitioned/came back out, I was physically assaulted by a someone in the detrans community, and I was doxxed and threatened by others. My family was threatened and I had my house swatted.

There's a big difference between people who aren't on HRT or who change their labels or are forced into the closet and the kind of transphobic monsters who actually make up the detrans community, the ones who harass and hurt people, who try to ban access to trans health care, the ones who make being trans in public illegal, and the ones who turn their whole personality into hating trans people because they feel wronged by us.

You have no idea how large that majority of the detrans community is unless you're in it. But it's just transphobes who are inserting themselves in a community they purposely left. They're not LGBT+, they're unsafe, you are transphobic if you support detransitioners.

yikes I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that anon :( /gen

but the thing with detransitioners is that they're not inherently bad people. Yes, it's true that many of them turn out to be raging transphobes, but there's definitely many out there who are in full support of trans people. I, for one, have many detransitioned friends, all of them are in support of trans people.

Think of it this way. They're just people who explored their gender identity, and realized that certain labels were not for them. How is that any different from someone identifying as non binary, and then realizing that they're trans?

Again, I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, but please understand that detransitioning isn't an inherently bad thing to do.

[shieldofiron]

Bro you wanna do me a favor and let me get some sweet munver hurt/comfort???? Character Ai's wait is over two hours and I'm bored.

I fear to ask what Character AI is, but those chat bot things can never hurt like I can! TW Conversion Camps, really just mentioned no graphic scenes.

Eddie didn't feel like it was his place to ask what was wrong. Not really. I mean, he was inside Carver for most of the time that they were together, but it felt totally different to try to ask about his... feelings and shit.

Sex was all they were. Eddie had to remember that. Even if sometimes Carver would come to him, shaken up and upset, and all Eddie wanted to do was crawl under those defenses and wrap Carver in his arms. He wanted to slay whatever dragon had Carver under siege. But this was just sex. Even if something was wrong, it wasn't like they were friends. Carver was too much of a golden God to bother with being friends with Eddie.

All he knew is whatever it was, it was getting worse. Carver would just show up, always with red, swollen eyes, more often than not at strange hours.

This morning it had been while Eddie was getting dressed, and it was all he could do to keep his clothes on.

"Wha- Carver, hang on," Eddie furrowed his brow, "I'm already late for practice, and Jeff is like so punctual he makes us all look bad but-"

Carver was still fumbling with Eddie's belt, eyes downcast.

"Look, just come back later, okay?" Eddie gently pressed Carver's hands away. "Tonight?"

"C-can't we just... really quick-"

"Carver, stop," Eddie shoved back.

Carver finally looked at him, just as a tear snuck past his defenses. He was red faced, shoulders drawn tight. He looked small and defenseless, but he still scowled up at Eddie like he was ten feet tall.

"Fine I'll just go," Carver's voice shook, "It's not a big deal."

"Why are you even here, it's Sunday morning," Eddie blinked at him.

"I said I would go, okay, get off my back," Carver turned, swiping his face on the back of his arm.

"No, wait," Eddie reached out, just barely grazing the tip of Carver's fingers.

"I said I would go, fuck," Carver roared, turning back on Eddie with a vicious scowl. "You wanted me gone, and I'm going!"

"I don't want you gone," Eddie tried again and Carver pulled his hand to his chest like it had been burned.

"Yes, you do. You don't know it, but you do."

"How do you know what I want?" Eddie's temper could flare just as hot, just as wild, and then they were both blazing at each other.

Carver snarled, "I know what you want. I know you like it when I arch my back, I know you like me on my knees-"

"But do you actually know anything about me?" Eddie threw his hands out. "Do you know one damn thing about me?"

"Who cares! Why does that matter right now?"

"Oh, right," Eddie nodded, "I forget I'm not worth even looking at. I'm just a little bit of scum on the bottom of your shoe, oh great, oh mighty King Jason. Look upon my smile, ye plebs, and despair!"

"Fuck you!" Jason was crying in earnest now, big fat tears that he wouldn't even wipe away. And it only made Eddie angrier.

"Fuck you too," Eddie scoffed, "You came here, and grab at me like a piece of meat, and then you want to act like I'm the jerk for having something to do? I don't sit around all the time just waiting for you, Jason. I know you wouldn't know that because I'm so beneath your notice-"

"You're not-"

"But I have a life, and friends, friends who actually care about me," Eddie stepped closer, and Jason actually shrank away, leaning into the dresser. "Unlike you."

Jason just stood there watching him, eyes spilling tears. "Right. Yeah."

And then he turned towards the window, climbing out neatly, and shut the window precisely, leaving no trace of having been there once his jeep rumbled away.

Eddie didn't make it to practice that day. It was all he could do to get to school the next day because he was failing like everything.

At least Carver wasn't there. Nor the next day, or the next.

For two weeks, the school was blissfully Carver free. It was like Eddie had said some magic word and erased him from existance, because everyone was acting like he had never been there. Except for Chrissy Cunningham. And Eddie.

Finally, he got up the nerve to approach her. She had taken to skipping lunch, but Sinclair had heard from his girlfriend that she was usually in the second floor bathrooms, crying her eyes out.

But when he asked about Carver she just blinked at Eddie, like she didn't expect to hear the name.

"He agreed to go to conversion camp in Lakewood," She said stiffly, "His parents- anyway. I didn't want him to go, but he agreed out of the blue so..."

"Have you heard from him? Is there anyplace to write?"

She frowns, "Why? Were you guys... friends or something?"

"Yeah," Eddie volunteers too slowly, and he can tell she can tell it's a lie. But her eyes just soften.

"He should never have agreed to go," Chrissy shook her head. "Those places are evil..."

Eddie couldn't agree more.

Which is why he was outside the gate the next day.

It didn't take that long to figure out a way in. Especially when a pizza car pulled up. He paid double and a dime bag to take the pizzas in to the counselor's room. They tipped like shit, but that wasn't really his problem. Once he was inside, it wasn't too hard to get lost inside the cabins.

Jason's bunk was easy enough to find. It was neat as a pin, almost no trace of a person being there. But a stiff picture of his parents sat on the minuscule nightstand, and his shark watch lay next to it.

Eddie tucked a note under the precisely made bed, and made his way back to the van. He returned after dark, driving slowly without his headlights to the far end of the camp.

He almost didn't expect it the first night, but he gasped with relief when he saw a pale figure come out of the dark. And he wasn't alone.

"This is Jack," Carver whispered when they were finally out of the danger zone, "He was my bunkmate."

Eddie wondered if that was camp speak for something else but... it wasn't like he had any right to ask Jason about that kind of thing.

He just smiled at Jack, taking his empty earring hole and long hair in stride, "I'm Eddie."

Jack whistled, "The famous Eddie. You can drop me at my sister's place, I have an address."

"Happy to," Eddie couldn't bring himself to turn to Jason, "And you?"

"I..."

"Well, he'll go with you, right? You're his boyfriend," Jack nudged Jason playfully, and his shoulder jostled Eddie's.

Eddie's chest filled with fire, and all his breath left him in a whoosh.

"Hey, this song is fucking sick!" Jack turned the radio up to blasting, oblivious to the fire that blazed where Carver's shoulders touched Eddie's.

When they finally dropped Jack off, leaving him in the hands of a very appreciative older sister who hugged them both profusely, Eddie sat for a long moment in the car, not wanting to turn it on.

"I don't... you don't have to be responsible for me," Jason was frowning. "Jack... god, I don't even know why I said that. I just... I'm sorry, that was really not cool, it was just kind of raw when people asked and I just said it, I don't even know why-"

"Carver."

"Yeah?"

"Why did you never tell me, about this thing with your parents? You must have been fighting, right? Chrissy said that they were pressuring you for months. She says hi, by the way. And apparently, Chance said his mom will let you stay there if you don't want to stay with your parents."

"You talked to my friends?"

"Yeah. But... anyway. Why didn't you tell me?"

Carver just stared across the dashboard. "I never thought you gave a shit about me. I was just... for sex, right?"

Eddie had to practically yank Carver towards him. "Hey. I'm your boyfriend now. Boyfriends talk."

Carver let out a weak exhale, his breath hot across Eddie's upper lip. "Okay."

"Okay? Boyfriends?"

"Yeah. Boyfriends," Carver leaned into Eddie, resting his forehead against Eddie's bangs.

"Christ, I missed you," Eddie whispered.

"I missed you so much," Jason whispered back.

Carver was crying, but for once, Eddie didn't feel like he was missing something. Nothing was wrong.

But if their was, Eddie could always ask.

[technicolortrenchcoat]

this pride month, don't forget asexuals when discussing conversion therapy

[hiisheart]

( tdov post under the cut bc it got long af!!! )

this trans day of visibility, i'd like to invite myself and everyone who ends up viewing this post to reflect on the diversity of the trans community, and how we are not a monolith. i want to invite myself and you all to reflect on the following.

trans people are of all different backgrounds, whether that be of racial, ethnic, or national backgrounds, socioeconomic statuses, and religions and faiths.

many of us know about our identities in our childhood, and many of us don't find out about our identities until later in our lives.

many of us are disabled, and many of us are not disabled. many of us are able to obtain diagnoses for these disabilities, and many of us are not.

many of us are intersex, and many of us are not intersex.

many of us are overweight, many of us are obese, many of us are at a healthy weight, and many of us are underweight.

many of us are mesomorphs, many of us are ectomorphs, and many of us are endomorphs.

many of us are middle-class, many of us are upper-middle class, many of us are lower-middle class, and many of us tow and are below the poverty line.

many of us are immigrants, and many of us are not.

many of us are adopted, and many of us are not.

many of us are religious, many of us follow a non-religious faith, many of us are secular, and many of us are not religious or faithful at all.

many of us struggle with debilitating mental illnesses, and many of us who do may find it extremely debilitating and difficult to navigate our ways through life and take care of our duties, while many of us who do, on the other hand, are able to do these tasks with much more ease and grace. many of us have been able to obtain diagnoses for our mental illnesses, many of us have been able to obtain some diagnoses for our mental illnesses, and many of us have not been able to obtain any diagnoses. many of us have access to the therapy and healthcare we need to manage our mental illnesses, many of us do not. many of us are also neurotypical.

many of us struggle with debilitating gender dysphoria, many of us are only occasionally bothered by our gender dysphoria, and many of us experience little to no gender dysphoria.

many of us struggle with lifelong health issues, many of us have health issues that arise later in life, and many of us have never struggled with health issues. many of us have access to the healthcare we need to address these health issues, and many of us do not.

many of us are living out and proud and don't give a damn about what the rest of the world says about us, and many of us continually struggle internally with our identities, are afraid of attempting to find a balance between our identities and our social lives, and constantly fear the judgment of others.

many of us struggle with internalized transphobia and homophobia, many of us are recovering from internalized transphobia and homophobia, and many of us are actively fighting against our internalized homophobic and transphobic tendencies. many of us may not have struggled with internalized homophobia and transphobia.

many of us are social, and many of us are isolated.

many of us have supportive families and friends, many of us have varied support between these two groups, and many of us have no support at all.

many of us continue to retain contact with their families, many of us have to build our own found families, and many of us do both.

many of us have strong support systems, many of us are building them, and many of us do not have them.

many of us have access to the healthcare and therapy we need, many of us have access to some healthcare we need, and many of us do not have access to any of the healthcare or therapy we need.

many of us decide to transition fully and go on hormones, get top and/or bottom surgery, and update all legal documents; many of us decide to only take hormones and change our legal documents; many of us decide to just socially transition and change our names, pronouns, and maybe our names and sex markers on our legal documents; and many of us prefer simple non-transition related lifestyle changes, such as those involving diet, exercise, and therapy.

many of us are able to take care of and financially provide for ourselves well on our own, and many of us face poverty and homelessness.

many of us deal with addictions and alcoholism, many of us deal with substance misuse, and many of us deal with neither of these things.

many of us are suicidal, and many of us are not.

many of us have self-harmed, many of us are actively self-harming, and many of us have never self-harmed.

many of us regularly experience transphobia and microaggressions, and many of us do not.

many of us have other marginalized identities that intersect with our transness, such as racial and ethnic background, religion, ability, and socioeconomic status, and many of us do not. many of us experience regular racism, homophobia, ableism, xenophobia, sexism, misogyny, exorsexism, and other bigotries and microaggressions, and many of us do not.

many of us have been abused, many of us are actively being abused, and many of us have never been abused.

many of us have been sexually assaulted, and many of us have not.

many of us are traumatized, and many of us are not.

many of us have been subjected to conversion therapy, many of us are actively being subjected to conversion therapy, and many of us have never been subjected to conversion therapy.

the trans community is extremely diverse. this trans day of visibility, i'd like to remind everyone who may be reading this post that no matter what we as trans people may be going through, no matter how we came to the conclusions of our identities, no matter what factors make up our background, none of it, absolutely NONE of it, should take away from our transness and how we deserve to have a safe space to be affirmed, heard, and accepted. also, i would like to invite us to keep in mind how the visibility we are given nowadays is very often not controlled by us trans people and instead by overarching liberal media that misses the major details of radicalism and self-acceptance in our lives and instead paints us in a(n often inaccurate) respectable and digestible light to the general cisheteronormative public. the visibility we're otherwise afforded are also unfortunately controlled by the rising fearmongering, spread-like-wildfire conservative hitpieces that attempt to frame us as dangerous yet miserable people who are out to control the institutions that govern our lives and destroy, damage, and mutilate the bodies of confused children and adolescents.

but that's not reality. that is not reality. this trans day of visibility i'd like for all of us to move forward keeping in mind that our lives, our lives as trans people, are nobody's to control and dictate but ours. nobody can paint as accurate of a picture of our lives as we can. so the next time you read something that pushes for assimilation, disregards the radical roots of our community's revolution conceptualized to share who we really are and to control our own narratives, and otherwise paints us as simultaneously a danger and a miserable population, i encourage you to take that content with a grain of extreme salt and instead remember the radical roots of our revolution, the real struggles many of us are facing in our lives, the struggles of homelessness, poverty, mental illness, disability, addiction, exclusion, disregard, dismissal, rejection, access to public life, and potentially even legal consequences in some states and some parts of the world. remember our radical self-acceptance, autonomy, and resilience in such a hostile world instead. remember how many of us managed to fight for what we have all on our own, with no support, help, or guidance. remember how many of us are struggling and at risk of facing legal consequences for just being who we are and having the audacity to participate in public life. remember how many of us move through this world with little to no support yet still manage to stay here because resilience in our identity and our faith to our friends, siblings, and found family in our communities who are struggling are what are keeping us here on this earth. especially remember how assimilationist and conservative rhetoric does not accurately paint a picture of who we are as a community, the strife that we've encountered and had to fight back against for decades, if not centuries, all around the world.

happy trans day of visibility. please remember to move through the world with an open mind and continue to learn. always look at situations where you'll be exposed to people you don't understand as learning opportunities instead of threats to your livelihood and the livelihood of everything and everyone around you. active listening will go a long way in the journey to understanding the trans community and becoming our allies. i love you all so very much. ❤️

[cleverclove]

I have a multiverse of Laerteses. Here are some of them:

SBV!Laertes: 19 years old and raising his sister alone. Chronically exhausted. Used to be a promising scholar and was spending a semester abroad in France when Polonius died. Trying his best. Definitely happier than canon Laertes, but still not okay. Will eventually get therapy, though!! That’s a slay!!

Smoker Laertes: Entirely rebels from his father’s domineering household the minute he leaves for France. Drinks, smokes, sleeps around. He only sticks around Denmark for Ophelia. Major hypocrite, and everyone knows it. Also a huge asshole.

Transgender Laertes: Has gone through all the same things Ophelia has. Only out of the closet in France. Was sent to conversion therapy. He pretends it worked. Otherwise, Polonius would ban him from seeing Ophelia 🥺

Majorly Depressed Laertes: Hates himself so much. Takes his anger out by cutting and has since he was a teenager. Hides it under long sleeves and hollow smiles. France was his chance to heal. He never did.

Union Leader Laertes: Viva la Revolution, bitches. Hates injustice anywhere. I definitely think this particular version of Laertes wants to make the world a better version for his sister. Doesn’t want to feed into the system. @lizardrosen helped me come up with this one!! :D

Bitter Laertes: Hates that his father forced him to raise Ophelia. Has no identity of his own and is painfully aware of that. Had to earn his father’s love, while he feels that Ophelia had it from the beginning. Loves the freedom that France gave him. Tries not to take it out on Ophelia, but takes any chance to fight with Polonius.

Normal, Well-Adjusted Laertes: …doesn’t exist lol.

[slowtides]

I just read a first-person account of someone in a session of conversion therapy, and even though it was just three pages, I find myself shaking and my eyes burning.

I've been thinking about coming out to my dad, and I've been thinking about the time my dad put me in therapy for depression, and the therapist gave me books that were essentially anti-LGBTQ propoganda, and my mom found them and yelled at me, and I never even knew what was going on until we were in the courtroom and I was grilled by a judge about living with my gay mom. It wasn't conversion therapy--my dad was trying to put me against my mom because she was married to a woman, and he hated her for choosing a woman over him. And I know my dad can't control me anymore. And yet,

It's just a Friday night, and the parent who would have loved me unconditionally is dead, and the parent who would have sent me to conversion therapy if he had any inkling I was queer is alive. The fear is still here, I guess.

[intothewickedwood]

I was just listening to the Out In The Wilds Podcast (amazing podcast by the way. Their analysis of the show is next-level genius! Highly recommend!), and they pointed out that when Gretchen is practicing her presentation in 1x07, they have pictures of all the girls on the island, all of which are close-up images except Shelby’s, whose face is not visible. When I first watched it, it just added fuel to the many Shelby conspiracies I’d had since the pilot (probably enough to rival Leah’s at that point). But then the hosts mentioned something about her parents perhaps being involved and wanting to keep her identity private.

I’ve seen a lot of theories about Shelby’s dad thinking he was sending her to a conversion therapy, but given this field note info detailing how all the girls learned to swim - “Shelby’s dad threw her into the country club pool sink-or-swim style” - it would seem that her dad almost literally threw her in deep water again, sink or swim style.

Field Note Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20210421150514/https://the-wilds.fandom.com/wiki/Trivia#Field_Note_.2361

I think he wanted her to think of nothing but survival on that island, not caring about her safety and hoping it would break or strengthen her. I reckon he was most interested in phase 2 of the experiment where Gretchen may have informed him that someone like Dan would break her down psychologically with his (purposefully and specifically adopted for Shelby) authoritative demeanor. Gretchen may well have told him that the experiment was Christian-based and a more extreme version of a conversion therapy, but I think he knew almost exactly what phase 1 and 2 of the experiment entailed.

He didn’t care how much it would mentally or physically hurt her. He would just do anything not to have a gay daughter. The fact that he knew that the pain of her having permanent teeth implanted before adulthood would be unbearable and insisting on it anyway, I think, shows the lengths he would go to ‘fix’ her.

I think the writing in this show is very intentional. The field note, as well as his willingness for her to go through extreme levels of physical pain, as well as emotional and mental, with not-so subtle threats of disownment from her family and whole community, forcing her to spend a lifetime in the closet or be someone she’s not, and not even acknowledging her best friend's death or her shame regarding that, seem to hint at just how aware he was of the specific hell he was about to put his daughter through.

[seaweedstarshine]

Eleventh Doctor Chronicles: Sins of the Flesh is really good. Really really good. Experience with certain attitudes can be so isolating, surrounded by people who won’t bother to understand the impact of growing up in that environment (because the world's so progressive now, right), and so — I'm so glad it exists. I also liked the discussion in the interview commentary about how being a monster and doing monstrous things are not mutually exclusive. Like most things, homophobia is pervasive because it is structural. Religious fervor is not inherently bad — “your god is love,” Valarie says to Lily — but as soon as hellfire is brandished around, it's used routinely to empower monstrous things, in a way that becomes unsafe to debate. Especially for young & dependent people who can't escape it.

Conditional love. Moral panics. Purity culture. Self-hate. Mob mentality. This audio. It's timely.

I appreciated what they said in the interviews about not only about the research, but the four rounds of sensitivity readings. I wish the TV show had that level of care sometimes…