#twc angst

[her-devils-advocate]

Touch the darkness within me.

♥. Genre: angst / hurt and comfort

♥. pairings: Nate Sewell / Female Detective (Named)

♥. content warnings: Mentions of a suicide attempt and depression, implied past abuse

♥. notes: I have been wanting to explore Valerie's background, especially with her opening up to Nate. It's been a while since I wrote angst to this degree, so I'm a bit rusty!

♥. Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48536515

♥. Word count: 4,489

Her concealed wails are a mournful sirensong, twisting itself around every other sound until he is caught in its sorrowful grasp. The haunting tones guide him towards where he finds Valerie in the dead of night, sitting alone outside the warehouse.

She's staring out at the forest surrounding them, jade eyes sparkling in the moonlight shining down on her. The silver beams highlight the red rims of her eyes as more tears paint her cheeks. Her sniffles are muffled by a shaking hand as she bites down on the soft sleeve of her jumper, whimpering as more tears well up in her eyes, replacing the ones that had just fallen. 

Yet no matter how much she tries to silence her pain, he would always be able to hear it as if those cries came from his mouth instead. Some nights he wishes that they did, just so she could get some relief from the shadows that continue to haunt her.

He goes to embrace her, pulling her so close that their hearts beat as one. Her’s a frantic pounding contrasting the gentle fluttering of his own. He weaves his fingers through her onyx hair as he tries to help soothe the raging storm within her. He doesn't ask, knowing she will tell him when ready. Knowing that at this moment, she is too fragile to open her mouth and have anything but cries tumble out. 

The uncommon sight before him is a stark contrast to the woman she was during the gentle light of day. The strong yet warm Detective Michaelis, always smiling and laughing when not focused on a tough case.

“Shh, it’s alright,” He does his best to calm the waves threatening to drag her asunder, he is her beacon of light, piercing through the fog clouding her heart. “I’ve got you, it's ok.”

With those simple words, all the emotions and thoughts she had once locked away now come rushing free. The walls that had been erected throughout her childhood -walls solely to keep that pain hidden behind- had slowly begun to decay, allowing the avalanche that she is now buried under, struggling desperately for air.

As his touch slowly unravels her, she looks deep within her frightened heart. Was it worth it? To slowly learn to trust again, to love again when it resulted in forcing herself to face the problems that made her scared to do so in the first place? 

As she feels Nate pressed up close to her, draping his incredibly soft leather jacket across her frozen shoulders, mumbling sweet nothings to help soothe her aching heart, she finds her answer: Yes. 

He is her rock, always holding her when she falls, patiently waiting alongside her until she is able to stand. He never forces her to rise before she is ready but is always there to help raise her back up once she is. 

Yet she feels like she is nothing more than a rock tied to him. Dragging him down every night she awakens with screams, disrupting him from his own reverie within the blanket of nightfall. 

The thick guilt that swirls within her each time she bruises his gentle heart whenever she reveals just how bandaged her own is when it comes to her relationship with Rebecca, a complex relationship filled with love built upon years of solitude. 

A girl just wanting her mother's love, happy with any amount to have received as she ignores the rising bitterness of her past. A relationship that taught her to trust only herself, for everyone else would leave her scarred and alone. A complex relationship full of love that shines so brightly, casting shadows that hide the bottled-up grudges.

The first relationship to leave her damaged, yet not the last. 

Valerie never could learn to shield herself from people fully. When given enough time, enough hints of companionship, she would break apart and reveal that shielded heart, like a dulled geode hiding beauty within its shadows. 

But with Unit Bravo, with Nate, the cracks in her composure felt good, felt safe. But the lingering fear of them leaving plagued her during the nights when the slivers of the silver moonlight were her only companion. During the nights when her demons broke loose to play with her mind. Nights that were thankfully less common now, yet not banished entirely.

The fear of what they would say if they knew of her past, knew how she once desperately wished to leave it all behind, how addicting the taste of that abyss felt. How she occasionally continues to hear its dark beckoning, trying its best to lull her back towards that ledge, the path of no return...for a human like her, at least. 

It’s been years since the sickly sweet voice had last tormented her, yet its ghost continues to haunt her.

It all started with her mother, yet continued with Bobby. With each new bruise added to the collection, the lost university student studying law yet ignoring the irony of the situation. How those scars on her heart would split open and fester on a bad day, worsened by Murphy, only able to be soothed by Nate's gentle hands as he unknowingly chases it away.

She knows that she should tell him and that she needs to tell him. Something this important shouldn't be kept from him, not now that things are official and serious between them. Yet the fears claw at her throat with their slender fingers, wrapping around her tongue to hold it still in submission. Could he still love her knowing that once the sunlight dies, she is no more than a broken bird, unable to fly and caged within the shackles of her own heart? 

Yes. 

She hears the gentle echo of his voice in her mind, “You are no broken bird, ya rouhi. You are so strong, I wish you could see yourself the way we see you.” 

But her fear at that moment is stronger.

Valerie slowly tilts her head to gaze at the wide expanse above them. The silence of the starless sky screams out at her, half in mockery, half in accusation. The unknown caresses her with its icy hands as she presses her face deeper into his warm chest, the scent of sandalwood surrounding her as she feels his warm hands press into her instead as she continues to sob. His hands hold her firmly in place as she seeks refuge within his sanctuary.

“Love, what is the matter? Please speak to me, you don’t need to keep it all bottled up within you anymore.” His deep voice cuts through the buzzing of her mind, bringing her out from its murky depths and back to reality.

Nate's eyebrows furrow as he looks down at the small woman, somehow appearing even smaller with the way she curls around herself within his hold. He wishes he could fix whatever had gone wrong to cause her such distress, but a part of him knows that such wrongs take time to heal, if they ever do. He could guess, using the small fragments he has glimpsed throughout their time together.

The way her eyes light up around Rebecca, only to dull once she leaves. A fake smile firmly placed upon her professional mask, a mask that eerily resembles the older woman herself until her real one slowly melts through hours later.

The way Tina fiercely defends her when she cannot herself, how she hates Rebecca so that Val can love her. 

The way she carefully hides the urge to freeze whenever someone moves too quickly, too unpredictably around her. Or the urge that occurs when the mention of needles is carelessly thrown around her, the subtle squint paired with the balling of her fists silently showing her discomfort, signs easily missed by anyone not able to hear the increasing heart rate that follows. Signs that Mason had picked up on first, the rest of them following shortly after. How could they not study all the details which make her the person they grew to care for, to love as a family?

The way she always refuses the aid of sleeping pills, no matter how dark her nightmares grow, causing her eyes to grow darker. Her smile weary and dull the next day as exhaustion threatens to drag her down.

But despite all that he has seen, Nate would rather not think assumptions about her, no matter how accurate. He is content to hold her together until she is ready to pull herself apart, to let her show him why he holds her together in the first place.

He simply loves her too much to know those parts of her until she is ready to reveal them first. 

The same way she sees how he flinches at the roaring thunder, too sharply for it to simply be his surprise at the crash echoing above them. Yet she never pries when he brushes it off with a smile, too forced to be genuine. 

The way she swallows back the occasional barbed retort when pushed by her mother, knowing each one would hit him as well. Knowing that she still has something he had lost long ago and not taking that for granted before him.

The way she is far more adept with technology, yet never takes it upon herself to dredge up the lost answers of his past herself. 

They both know that she could, yet she loves him too much. She is content to wait for him to reveal those shards of himself first.

He hadn’t realised how long they had sat there together, blanketed by the silence despite the screaming of their thoughts. He is brought back from deep within his mind when he feels her shift, her watery jade eyes peeking up at him. The vulnerability within causes his throat to tighten, the trust causes his heart to follow. 

The love and concern written all over his face is obvious, the two battling over what displays on his handsome features the most. It would make Val giggle if her heart hadn't sunk deep within her, causing her to cling to him as her anchor, preventing her from drifting off into that dark unknown once more. But as she gazes deep into the dark brown of his eyes, she feels at home.

Her fears melt away as he caresses her cheeks, silently wiping away the marks of her anguish as she allows herself to get lost in his eyes. 

His warm, brown eyes do not once leave her own, the newly revealed stars reflecting within them, twinkling through the gentle expression as he looks at her as if she is his world. She sees herself within his eyes, a mess in comparison to him, the rivers down her cheeks have become tinted with the black of her mascara, now slightly smudged from her tears being brushed away. 

Yet he doesn’t seem to mind.

“Hey love,” His hushed voice takes her away from her pain, if only for a moment, as she composes herself before him. “Are you ready to talk?”

For the first time in a while, Valerie feels her heart overflow with a love she never knew existed outside of fairy tales, knowing that she was safe and that he would listen to her story without running. That he would stand tall beside her, even on the days when all she could do is crumble.

With a watery smile, she pulls away from his warm comfort into the cold of night. Almost as if the shadows could shield her from the conversation she dreads. The dark embrace of nightfall had comforted her for so long, yet even with those shadows wrapping themselves around her shaking form, she had never quite felt as exposed as she does before him.

Confusion and concern flicker across his face as he looks up at her, not wanting to be the one to break the serene quiet that had fallen now her tears had lessened. Not wanting to startle her as she slowly pulls the loose threads of herself tight once more.

“Yes…I think I am.” Her voice is a shaky whisper as she stands before him, it takes all his strength to not reach out and hold her once more, knowing that being held together would do more damage, that it could cause her to flee further into that night like a skittish deer. He knows that she needs to make the small cracks first before she can let that wall fully crumble to the ground. How can he know so much, yet so little, about the woman who owns his heart?

So he simply stands, he stands before her and waits. Nate has all the time in the world, he is willing to give it all to her.

“I’m not exactly sure where to start,” Val runs her hands through her hair as she paces, the action doing very little to bring her comfort as she tries to pull at the stitches holding her heart and mind together, “or how to start actually… This might take a while. It might take a few days.”

Nate smiles down at her, a smile full of warmth and support that never fails to set her heart ablaze, no matter how frozen the day had caused it to grow.

“Take all the time you need, ya rouhi. If you need a suggestion, why not start with the main cause of your distress? We can have the discussion whenever you need, however often you need.”

Her fidgeting is brought to a halt as his words surround her. Relief washes over her small frame in waves as it sinks in, the olive branch he’s offered, a way out of needing to bare her whole heart to him in that fractured moment. A moment where she can’t even piece the story together, let alone weave it together for another to be able to follow. 

It almost brings her to tears once more, almost. She holds it back as best as she can, having cried enough for the both of them tonight.

She comes to stand before him, looking up at his tall figure, highlighted by that sickeningly familiar glow of moonlight. A sight that helps settle the frantic pounding of her heart, the shaking of her hands. She fiddles with the end of her braid as she nods, a nervous tick of hers that he has grown used to.

“Ok, I can do that, I can start with what happened today and maybe go from there.” Valerie takes a deep breath, not able to meet his eye for longer than a brief glance, her eyes dart around the scenery circling them as if not looking at him could hide her from his own gaze. As if it could protect her from his reactions.

“Do you ever feel numb to everything around you? Like you are watching a movie of yourself in real-time and yet the you in the movie isn’t accurate, no matter how hard you try to act like yourself it's just not…you? It’s like the more I try to act normal, the more distant I feel from myself in these moments. It feels like my emotions are hidden behind the dull fuzz of radio static, I know they are there but I can never seem to reach them. Not until that dam breaks, one way or another, and they all come rushing through to overwhelm me and make me wish that I could go back to feeling that numbness.

Then there's the sadness that follows, it’s an odd kind of sadness that I don’t even know how to describe. The type that tears you to shreds from within, pulling you towards actions you would never do normally, things you regret when pulling yourself together the next day. I’m fine though…Or will be fine, it's just that the familiar feeling has been creeping up on me again recently. I guess it came to a boiling point earlier today.”

She looks down at the ground between them, her eyes shut tight as she bites her tongue, already regretting the words that it had released into the cold sky. The admission that not even Rebecca knew, for it would eat her alive from the guilt. An admission that no one had heard since she uttered it to Tina years prior. The first and last time those words had been given life, until now.

Those dark, consuming feelings terrify her now that she has something to lose, someone important that could be scared away by the brief whisper of the words, the brief glimmer of what she kept hidden. Not that he would be scared away from her or let something like that push him away from her side, yet the thoughts refuse to leave her alone, eating away at her from the inside. 

Nate had taken her world of grey and taught her how to paint life back into it, never one to do it for her, purely giving her the tools to do so without even knowing. The thought of falling back into that grey unnerved her, the unwelcome fears come crawling out from the woodwork at the smallest whisper of her past.

Nate doesn’t leave her stewing within her muddled thoughts for long as he takes Valerie’s smaller hands within his larger ones, gently stroking the soft, pale flesh with his thumb before giving her hands a light squeeze. The action is soft and reassuring, letting her know that he’s still there, still hers.

His eyebrows furrow in concern as his own tears gather in his eyes. Yet he refuses to let them fall, not wanting to cause her more distress or to add more unneeded guilt onto her list. His heart aches at her confession, panic begins to swell in his chest at the implications laced between each word. The fear of losing her sets off alarm bells within his mind, the fear of what could have been makes them a cacophony.

He brings their joined hands to his lips, pressing feather-light kisses to her fingertips before letting one of her hands go in order to place a slender finger under her chin. He gently tilts her chin upwards, sighing inwardly as he spots her eyes tightly shut still. 

He bends down to press a tender kiss to her forehead, letting his lips linger as his voice caresses her. “Thank you for telling me, Val. I can’t say that I am familiar with what you’ve described, but I will do whatever it takes to help you through it, no matter what it takes or when it strikes.”

His heart swells with pride as he sees the strength that she had hidden away within her shielded heart. A certain type of strength he knew she would deny if spoken aloud but one he could always see within her, it shines brighter than the sun before him the moment she reveals her heart to him. The strength she holds lets her open up in ways unfamiliar to her, to push through the panic contracting her silence.

He beams down at her as she slowly opens her eyes to gaze up at him, the action causing the sides of his eyes to crinkle as he moves to slowly cover her face in kisses. Trailing down her nose, across each cheek before coming down to capture her lips in a sweet kiss.

“How did you usually handle such feelings? I can’t imagine that it has been easy for you.” He doesn’t miss the slight wince his question provokes, nor the way she bites her lip in hesitation, the urge to abort the conversation and run growing strong within her. So he simply tucks her head into the crook of his neck, cradling her close and letting the warmth of his body thaw the shivering overtaking her.

“The last time I acted on them, I ended up in a hospital,” She almost gasps with how easily the bitter confession fell from her lips, despite the fear that once kept it chained up within her.

She shrinks deeper into his hold when she hears his own sharp intake of breath, too quick for him to hide. Yet his gentle hands continue to hold her in place. He continues to hold her together as his fingers idly thread themselves through the braids in her hair, doing his best to comfort her without interrupting her constantly weaving train of thought. 

“I’m alright now, that happened six years ago and I’ve made a lot of improvements since then. To the point where I really am alright now, more than alright, in fact! Tina was the one to help me through all that, she was in the hospital with me every day for as long as they let her stay.”

“I’m glad that you had her with you during those moments, it must have been scary for you.” He sways her gently within his arms, a silent dance under the moon's soft glow. His heart tries its best to not break with her confession, knowing that she is safe now. That the evidence of her safety is currently sniffling within his embrace, painting his shirt with old tears brought back to life, not that he minds.

He makes a mental note to buy Tina some fancy chocolates as a late thank you, adding flowers for Val onto the list.

“What about Rebecca?” She freezes in his arms, the question shooting a new shard of ice into her chest. That shard of ice digs deep, letting old and almost forgotten emotions bleed out. “Was she-”

“There?” Val’s shaky voice cuts through his own less-than-stable one. The word rushes out of her as if it would get trapped should she speak any slower. She trips on her words, not trusting herself to continue once she has stopped, not giving herself the chance to escape after pausing for a breath.

Each confession feels like lead on her tongue, filling her with unnecessary shame as she shines a light on the dark corners of her past. She knows that she shouldn’t feel ashamed, yet the sensation swims within her chest regardless, trying to drag her under as she peels away the fractured pieces of her mask of perfection. 

“No, she didn’t know. I had changed my emergency contact for the hospital to Tina a few years before that. If Mum knew…she certainly never visited, so there's a good chance she doesn’t know at all. She can’t know, Nate. I’m sorry to throw all this onto you like that.”

He lets out the breath that he had been holding, the warmth of it brushing over her cold cheeks as he does. “You don’t need to apologise for any of this, Valerie. I am glad that you trust me enough to share parts of your past. You can always tell me anything, I hope you know that. As for Rebecca, she won’t learn about it from me, not if you wish for her to not know.”

He holds her shoulders, manoeuvring her so that he can gaze into her eyes. He gives her a watery smile of his own as he does, relieved that she had already exhausted all her tears for the evening as she peers up at him.

“I wish that I could do more for you,” he sighs, the sound is deep and old as an emotion Valerie can’t place swirls within his eyes.

“But you have done so much for me, Nate. More than I thought I deserved for a long time. You are like…one big ray of light on the days when I feel sad. Your smile never fails to send my heart and mind into overdrive, feeling more happiness than I know how to handle.” She brings a delicate hand up to caress his jaw, her thumb slowly stroking his cheekbone, giggling gently as she does. “You are the wordsmith out of the two of us, so I’m sorry if that doesn’t make much sense or sounds too cheesy.”

At that, the tense atmosphere that had been bubbling around them seemed to melt away as he slowly unties what remains of Val’s braid, her constant fidgeting paired with his own had made it far messier than she preferred.

“I didn’t want to make you sad or worried- seems like that is one of my talents recently,” she gives a weak chuckle at the light glare he throws her way. “I was having a bad day, which hasn’t happened in a while now that I think about it. I don’t think anything caused it either, it snuck up on me out of nowhere and I guess I just panicked. I had been meaning to tell you everything and I think that just stressed me out to the point of overthinking it and panicking even more than I previously was. I was scared to lose you, especially over something that had happened years ago.”

A chill wind cuts through the gap between them as the remains of the night fade away to greet the rising sun. The few remaining inky spectres -no longer content on dredging up the past- retreat from the light as Val watches the sunrise shine through his eyes. 

Despite the harsh wind building up around them, she no longer feels the cold nipping at her skin as she sinks deep into his leather jacket, still gently hanging from her shoulders. Her cheeks grow even warmer as he moves to zip it up, amusement shining in his eyes as she almost vanishes beneath the old leather. 

“If you feel like you are having another bad day, please come to me. Even if you don’t wish to discuss it, you don’t need to handle it alone, Val. You could never scare me away.” As if to punctuate his point, he quickly kisses the tip of her cold nose before pressing his forehead to hers. 

Under the golden light of dawn, Nate hesitates before taking a deep breath, almost begging the words to conjure themselves so that he didn’t need to. “I know what it's like to fear someone else's reaction to the past, what they might say, what they might be too afraid to say. You mean so much to me Val, to all of us. You don’t need to worry about scaring any of us away, we are a team, that goes beyond the agency.”

The smile she graces him with makes everything worth it as she laces her fingers with his own, clinging to him tightly as she turns to watch the sunrise and the way it causes the warehouse facade to glow in gentle hues of orange.

As he looks down at her, he notices Valerie standing a little taller, no longer being weighed down by those fears that had clung to her with all their might.

[seraphinitegames]

Hi :)

I have been re-reading A's route and was wondering if there would be a love rival (thats not N). The book four demo goes into the MCs' frustration with how A is acting, so maybe they might actually take moving on seriously.

Ok, I don't want to get into spoilers, but I will say…

If there is going to be, it's not the villain from Book Four either. That's more of a catalyst in the romance for the MC to realise some…stuff.

But I will say that I love a romantic foil (is that the right term?). That kind of thing makes my angsty little heart happy. and I have yet to write one for Wayhaven like I'd like to.

So…yeah.

That's all I'll say because I totally spoil too much already, lol! :D

Thank you so much for the ask! :)

[nreads]

How it started: (Book 2)

A and the detective leaning their heads on opposite sides of the door, yearning for the other.

How it's going: (Book 3)

A and the detective crying on the floor, on opposite sides of the door, yearning for the other.

[hydrngea]

it’s nice to have a friend

a/n : it’s finally here! perfect pick part 2!!! sososososo sorry for the wait. irl stuff got in the way of me working on this. again. severely unedited. sorry 🫣

notes : fic can be read as a one shot or connected to perfect pick 2. part 3 tbd. this one is full of rafe fluff!

summary : maybe rafe was a little bit more than just ur best friends brother.

part one | series masterlist | masterlist

there was a period of time between your tenth birthday and your eleventh where you and rafe were actually friends. real friends. almost comparable to the way you and sarah were.

——

for some reason sleep feels impossible tonight. even though sarah’s deep into her oblivion. even though her ceiling is darkened and even though the room is quiet save for the gentle ticking of the alarm clock on her nightstand.

you decide to blame it on thirst, pulling yourself out of your sleeping bag and carefully slipinhg out her bedroom while walking on the tips of your toes.

you’re familar with the layout of tannyhill. It’s practically been your second home ever since you were born. you’ve had hundreds of sleepovers with sarah and spent many holidays with the cameron’s; your families were just so close.

you make your way towards their kitchen and startle a little when you realize someone else is there,too. you still suck at reading manual clocks but you guess that it’s sometime after midnight.

“ah!” you yelp and the person turns around while agressivly shushing you.

“why are you screaming?” rafe whisper yells as he sets a pint of ice cream onto the island.

“you scared me.” you respond with a much quieter tone, looking down at your feet and avoiding eye contact.

you hear a snicker come from him, “are you wearing unicorn pajamas? aren’t you ten?”

you wrap your arms over your chest, insecurely covering up the horn of the large creature printed into your nightgown.

“isn’t it too late at night to be eating ice cream?” yoy quip back.

rafe gestures to the clock on the wall beside him. “isn’t it past your bedtime?”

“isn’t it past yours?”

you can faintly tell that he rolls his eyes at that, and he brings a spoonful of ice cream up to his lips.

“what flavor it that?” you question, approaching his spot behind the island.

his voice is muffled due to the ice scream still melting in his mouth, “didn’t you say it’s too late to be eating ice cream right now?”

“i’m just asking what flavor, rafe.”

he’s quiet for a moment before responding with a sigh. “chocolate.”

he tells you because he knows it’s your favorite. you’re a chocolate girl through and through- it was the flavor of your birthday cake at your party a couple of weeks ago, as it had been for all your previous birthdays before.

your eyes light up and his chest swells in a weird way he puts off as a delayed brain freeze. “can i have a bite?”

to your surprise he says yes, pulling out a spoon from the drawer besides him and handing it to you. he holds the pint close to you so you can take a scoop, and just when the metal of the utensil touches the cold desert he raises the container up so you can’t reach it.

he’s only a year older than you, but even the slight difference makes him a whole lot taller than you. you hop and chase him all around the kitchen in attempt to retrieve the ice cream and it makes you so angry that he’s having fun in your suffering; almost as much as it makes you feel like you’re gonna melt because he’s having fun. with you.

you let out a huff and stop your chasing, and he finally walks back towards you and let’s you have the pint.

You snatch it out of his grasp, making your way to the kitchen stools with him following closely behind you. he brings his spoon too, and you roll your eyes when he nudges you for some more of the ice cream. you tilt the container in your hands towards him and he digs into it once more.

The lopsided smile he sends you in response is enough to freeze your heart and melt any annoyance you felt towards him.

—————————-

you knuckles rap against his bedroom door. the same pattern as you’ve been doing for the past 4 months, sneaking out of sarah’s bright pink bedroom and into rafes contrasting blue.

he lets you in and you find solace ontop of his large gaming chair, having unofficially claimed it as your own. rafe let’s you take over it without complaint, lately opting to to settle beside the wall across from you instead of his own seat.

you get tossed a dvd case and you barely catch it. your eyes graze over the cover and take in the title. you let out a huff, “why do we always watch the movie you choose?”

rafe pauses for a split second before responding.

“but it’s the dark knight.”

you throw the case back at him, the plastic hitting his arm. “ouch.” rafe mutters, rubbing at the aggictated skin.

“this is a boy movie.”

he snorts. “i’m a boy.”

you cross your arms over your chest. “i’m not.”

it’s true, he always manages to convince you to watch what he picks out. but the dark knight is the best action movie ever. can’t you just let it slide one last time?

you glare at him and rafe relents, as he always does when it comes to you. he lets out a sigh and slides his box full of dvds towards you. “fine. find an alternative.”

it seems like you know exactly which movie you want to watch. you pull it out and feed it into the dvd player, grinning.

“we’re not watching it.”

“why? are you too scared, rafey?”

He scoots on the floor closer next to you. “No. Its just a stupid movie.”

You giggle, pulling his blanket off his bed and wrapping it around your torso. “You’re just a scary cat.” You shrug.

“am not.”

“are too.”

rafe sucks in a tense breath. he knows he can’t get out of this.

“turn it on?”

“are you sure you won’t pee your pants, rafey.”

he reaches forward and grabs the tv remote, clicking the play button.

(surprisingly, rafe proved you wrong. he did not pee his pants. even if there were multiple close calls. you guys made it to the movie without any accidents, somehow shuffled close together and sharing the same navy throw blanket; a comforting warmth shared between the two as he falls asleep with his cheek on your shoulder. his mother catches the two of you in the morning. snaps a picture with her phone without saying anything, and retreating back to her bedroom with a smile spread across her face)

——-

whenever you had sleepovers at the cameron’s, you’d always be the first one up. even if you were the last one asleep.

okay. you were the second one up, after mrs. cameron.

you had an unspoken sleepover routine. you’d usually be up by seven thirty, and there’d be pancake batter on the griddle for you starting at seven fifteen; always the first to enjoy a fresh stack of mrs.cameron’s signature blueberry pancakes.

you shut the door to sarah’s room, rubbing your eyes as you shuffled towards the kitchen.

“morning, mrs. cameron.” you greet while stifling a yawn. you blink a couple times, adjusting to the absurdly bright room.

it’s not mrs. cameron in the kitchen. instead, you’re met with rafe behind the island, again. pouring whole milk into a bowl of cereal.

“moms still asleep.” he says, words rough on the edges.

you don’t respond, opting to climb onto one of the island stools in silence. you watch his brow furrow as he making sure the perfect ratio of milk falls into his breakfast. the feature is similar to the way his mother forhead wrinkles while she meticulously pours a ladle full of bluberry batter onto the griddle.

“what cereal?” you mumble, shifting so your hands settle between the seat and your legs.

rafe tightens the cap of the milk, then shoved it back into the kitchen aid fridge. “pebbles.”

you open your mouth to ask about the flavor, but he responds before anything comes out.

“cocoa pebbles. you want some?”

you nod, begining to pull yourself off the stool so you can make yourself a bowl. but instead, he pushes his bowl towards you.

“have it. i’ll make another.” he offers with a tight lipped smile.

“thanks,” your heart stutters at the gesture. you take the spoon and swirl the cereal around so the milk can become chocolatey. you take a sip of it, enjoying the sweetness on your tongue.

he makes himself another bowl and brings it to the stool besides you.

“why are you up so early?” you question while he settles onto the seat and he shrugs.

“i guess i just wanted to see you before you left.”

the words almost make you choke on your cocoa puffs, the milk almost pouring out your nostrils. you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

“you really wanted to be blessed with my obnoxious presence this early in the morning?”

“i don’t think you’re obnoxious, y/n.” rafe confesses, voice quiet as if he wanted you to be the only one to hear.

suddenly, it felt like the necklace which laid under your pajamas was burning a hole on your neck. you pull it out and start playing with its pendent in between your thumb and your index finger.

“i don’t think you’re obnoxious either.” you say, because you don’t know what else would be right to say in the moment. he looks expectantly at you with a soft gaze, eyes flickering from your own iris’s to the silver chain you’ve exposed. his lips curve into a smile which mirrors your own.

“yeah?”

“yea.” you confirm, tilting your head towards him with a brightening smile before looking back down at your bowl of now soggy cereal.

“yeah.” he breathes again, bringing his spoon up to his lips to take a bite of his breakfast.

you two remain smiling, even after you’ve departed from tannyhill.

————-

taglist (let me know if u want to be added or removed!)

tagging those who asked to be tagged in part 2 @kkmstblog @spicykimchiiii @whore4drew @diorgirl444 @outerbankspov @maybankslover @writtenwordslover @drewstarkeyirlgf @vert-pomme @octaviareina @everythingmarveltopgun @hangmanshomecoming @fallingwallsh @millies0bsimp @pickingviolets @fulla02 @denise417 @mad-die45 @callsignwidow @leclerc16s @yomnajir @ash5monster01 @spear-bearing-bi-witch @grxcisxhy-wp @iluvpills @user09 @cat-or-kitten @bellstwd @mrsstarkey1 @illicitfixations @willowpains @penny4yourthoughts @book-place @sangytv @sweetestdesire @mvybanks @rafesmoon @a-aexotic

reblog + comment and i’ll do the same for you <333

[blinkvlink]

the way my detective just wants to scream at A for putting her through nearly the same exact thing rebecca put her through during her childhood is just...delicious because like...the people that she needed the most in her life just can't express how much they love her until she is at the edge of death and it hurts bc...her brain immediatly goes 'oh. i must not be worh the effort' even though she tries to tell herself otherwise

[precious-little-scoundrel]

grim reader here!! I’d personally like to see some of the scenes where Ida THINKS she’s ready for intimacy and it devolves into panic or whatever bc I think it’s formative to how they approach things in the future :) you know; the angst stuff haha

Nine times Ida Rosenthal thought she was ready, and the one time she really was —

coming to a bookstore near you!

Ok, I’m joking because I’ve not even written it out yet however, this is exactly how I imagine it, and I think each of those non instances are huge, crucial to their growth and going to be amazing to explore.

Literally I wanna have a set number, and each is a vignette of its own. I just need to plot out what those scenarios are.

Because there is so much before the sex.

NSFW BELOW:

There’s the lost art of necking which they reinvent, the first few times she turns into his touch in her sleep, it’s waking up to him warm and hard and not feeling a jolt of terror, it’s stumbling into him in the shower when he’s otherwise occupied, it’s kissing gone so intense on the couch they fall to the rug before the hearth and she thinks in a wine daze that she’s ready -she’s not. It’s holidays with her folks and Johnny and his new wifey breaking the bed upstairs and Ida getting genuinely miffed by the sounds of it that her brother bounced back so easily from all his fuckery and, in a competitive lurch, she climbs into Rosie’s lap and must be lawyerly dissuaded from competitive intimacy. It’s allllll the little gestures of romance and kindness beforehand, it’s Rosie helping her study for the bar once she chooses to leave the Air Force, it’s him helping her with the homework and his rewards get more and more tantalizing until she learns what that man’s hands can do -so much for all those protestations about not playing a instrument, Mr. Rosenthal. It’s the first time Ida asks him in the morning not to take care of things in the shower but to stay abed, to show her, teach her even. She wants to watch him, hear him, learn him. It’s her learning to associate sounds of male pleasure with a good thing, with Robert’s raw adoration and ecstasy as her hand grows more firm and her thumb clever.

It’s the first time she manages to put him fully in, after he’d just spent in her hand. There’s nothing much to be done then, just hold each other and process their oneness until he shrinks and slips out. It’s something though.

It’s all these things.

[slushrottweiler]

Never has a kiss hurt me so good

I cannot do the absolute Agony of this scene from Book 3 justice. The desperation of their kiss. The way they both knew it was a bad idea and that they just…. Needed it regardless. The absolute, earth-shattering terror A feels because, despite everything they’ve done, this human has gotten in past their endless walls and it’s ripping their world apart - because they’ve lost everything before and honestly don’t know how they’re going to survive losing them.

Jesus Fuck I have so many feelings about this. So many and I sobbed and cried and just…. omg you fucked me up Bk 3! Characters belong to @seraphinitegames

[napo-leo-art]

You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half!

(Yellow text is Haley, white and red are Mason)

[phoenix-onfire]

These are the instances I noticed (so far) in book 3 where Nate casually thinks about MC becoming a vampire. And I really love this conflict he has within him, the duality of his feelings: on the one hand, he wants to spend his eternity with MC but on the other, he isn't sure if becoming a vampire should be an option. His desperation of not wanting to lose MC is clear as day but at the same time, whichever option he'd go for, he'd risk exactly that.

1.) MC remains human? Guaranteed death sooner or later, either by old age, or as a result of some fight. Which is basically Nate's biggest fear, not being able to defend and save MC.

2.) Turning MC into a vampire? Would they survive the procedure at all? And if they do...what would that mean in regards to their blood, their effect on the supernatural and would they be safe at all when their life is full of constant danger? Would it really make things any better?

Either way, Nate is just consumed by the fear of losing MC. Coupled with his own guilt and fear of hurting them... I can't wait to see how this conflict will unfold in the next books!

And I love that we could finally scratch the surface of Nate's and MC's feelings about Nate being a vampire while MC is not and have a meaningful, albeit short, discussion about it! So much so, that I had to try every dialogue option here, so if you haven't seen them yet, here you go:

[serenpedac]

Alright, I've only just finished the patrol in b1 and am already fantasising about a polymance between Yael, Nate and Adam.

This is not something I ever considered before tbh, because I never thought Yael and Adam being together would work. He's the one with whom Yael struggles most to connect.

Yet, it's funny, because on her (and my) very first playthrough, I had her run into him during the patrol and chose the option of her attention being drawn to him at the start. Not because I thought she'd be attracted to him, but because she would have wanted to understand him better, learn what's behind that hard exterior. I was prentending very hard that it wasn't a flirt option, although I knew it was even before choosing it, haha.

Now the thing is that I can see it: her being drawn to Nate immediately, because of his warm smile, his gentle kindness, the way he makes her feel seen. Yet she's also trying to figure Adam out, and in the process, she's ever so slowly falling for him, for the sense of stability he provides, for how deeply he cares about UB and for that unexpected sense of humour.

...

And they will all live happily ever after in a polymance!! (I will also pretend very hard that that's what is going to happen, even if I already know it canonically won't)

[delucadarling]

Extremely self-indulgent Barbie/Felix rambling ahead

It took me a while to really get through the F route, because they're written so young, and Barbie would certainly consider herself too old for him, along with the fact that I found them...almost a little too opposite in personlity. I did find a way for their dynamic to work though, particularly after Holiday Magic (Barbie and Felix bond deeply over their shared enthusiasm for Christmas).

But also, one of the last asks Mishka answered had me realizing there is a bit of drama to be had in the F romance, at least where Barbie is concerned. She's a bit gun shy of starting a relationship (I like envisioning her as a divorcee who far prefers single life to being married to her ex-husband) but very much enjoys casual dating and casual sexual relationships. Meanwhile, Felix is very gun shy of having sex too early in a relationship, only to be discarded afterward. Which...is exactly what Barbie wants! Not that she intends to discard Felix, but she doesn't have any intentions of pursuing a relationship with him. He's too young and has a lot of growing up to do in her eyes.

I kind of like the conflict that could happen between them in that way. Felix pursues Barbie because he likes her, he wants to date her, but Barbie (gently) rebuffs his attempts. She's got a job to do, he's young, he's flighty, given enough time he'll find another pretty person to chase after. His charm does work though, and Barbie's walls crack a bit. She's willing to give him a chance.

Then, once she does decide to date him, he's not nearly as physically open as she hoped/expected. She wants to sleep together right away, but he sort of recoils whenever she makes steps in that direction. It puts her on her back foot a bit, because what the heck? Doesn't he want her? Wasn't he wooing her for weeks/months?

He explains that he only wants to have sex in a deep, long term relationship. Barbie pulls back at that point, because she just ended a deep, long term relationship that sucked the soul of her and wasn't at all fulfilling. She's just not willing to do that again, especially when she still isn't really taking Felix as seriously as he deserves.

So it's a lot of on again off again, because as much as they both see the relationships they want from one another aren't compatible, they also can't really stay away from one another. The feelings are there, which Felix KNOWS and finds so frustrating, while Barbie's just deny deny deny.

[puts them in the washer on heavy duty]

[seraphinitegames]

what was going through A’s mind if during the LT route, you train with N and hook up on the grass?

A very odd mix of being glad that the two of them are so happy and the heart-wrenching agony wishing that it didn't happen!

A is really torn between the depth of their feelings for the MC, wanting both their oldest friend and the MC they care for to be happy especially together, and their desire to be the one in N's shoes.

There's a lot of added angst in this route, hehe! :D

Thank you so much for the ask! :)

[whereisharlie]

My detective showing that they care deeply for our comanding agent:

[drakesroyalromance]

After an absolutely hellish week and a half, I can now finally play the TWC demo💕

[pinayelf]

twc nation I got a hc

what if N and A are in love with each other but them being together romantically just does not work out and no matter what it always ends

the real tragedy of their love will be that they have the eternity together with each other but their love will never work out no matter how much love there is

[merry-kuroo]

I just finished Book 3 of The Wayhaven Chronicles. Mason has a hold on me, I'm sick 😭 I loveeeeeee his route.

I'm only disappointed because I didn't get a chance to say "I love you" yet. Like it feels like we're a official couple, especially by the end but I guess that wasn't established verbally...

Either way I really enjoyed the story. It had a really good mix of super intense, emotional moments and romantic and fun moments. My emotions were all over the place.

I'm going to play with some of my other detectives. I was hoping to recruit Sin (is this possible or do I have too much hope?) to the Agency.

Now, should I do Nate, Adam, or Love Triangle route next? 🤔