Any Weight - Idia
Author Notes: So I really didn't know what I was going to post today in terms of oneshots, so this happened. This fic has been sitting my google docs for quite while and honestly started out life as practice for writing Idia. I wrote this and edite it while listening to the song "Heavy in Your Arms" by Florence in the Machine. As per usual, reader is gender-neutral. I hope you enjoy!
Type: Gender-neutral reader/ sfw/ fluff with angst/ comfort/ romance highly implied/ Spoilers for Ignihyde Chapter
Word Count: 1539
Idia shifted slightly as you leaned against his back, reading some book as he farmed one of his games. And in easy, quiet moments like this, with the weight of your body resting gently against his, feeling like a silent but ever-present promise, it was easy to forget the truth of his situation. Of his life.
But Idia was cursed. It was a weighty, but simple truth that had hung over his head for his entire life. Because he’d never known a life where he wasn’t cursed.
Idia was cursed to remain chained to the Island of Woe, to S.T.Y.X., and to guard the remains of those who’d fallen prey to their own magic and dark thoughts, just like he almost had back when you’d come all the way to S.T.Y.X.’s headquarters after Grim and your friends.
Idia was also cursed to never be able to feel darkness’s embrace, which could hide even the greatest of shames, until the light inevitably came. Because his hair always shone that cold blue light on him. Never letting him hide away from the gaze of all those who looked upon him in horror or disgust and saw all of his many flaws.
Idia was even cursed by his own personality. Unable to tolerate being around others without shutting down and drowning in their silent gazes. Judgmental, fearful, and sometimes pitying, no matter how he felt about it.
It was disgusting, infuriating, and so many other things that left him filled with ire towards anyone and everyone who didn’t understand him or his life. If they were going to gawk at him, then he would mock them for their naive, stupid views, and avoid them. There was no use in bothering with people who would never care.
After all, his life had been decided for him from the very moment he’d been born.
And all of those reasons, as well as so many others, were why he’d pushed you away initially. A laughable thought now, considering you were sitting on his bed, with your back pressed to his in a gentle reminder of your presence that, rather than causing him to tense like so many did, made him relax into the silence that rested easily between the two of you.
But when he’d first met you, he never would have imagined this. Not with how you’d seemed so strange.
A weirdo, to be sure, with the way your gaze had never held that crushing weight that threatened to smother him that so many others had.
Some person from another world who apparently had far greater concerns than a flame-haired freak that lived in some other dorm. And, to an extent, Idia had been able to respect that.
It had quickly become obvious that you were more than just a weirdo, though. If nothing else, you were capable of handling and surviving numerous overblots. And even as he was getting to know you, it had already been clear to Idia that you were capable of so much more than him.
And that was still clear to him even today. Because if he was a curse, then you were more akin to a blessing.
A blessing who stepped in and stopped overblots from destroying their victims rather than studying the remains of those who were already done for.
A blessing who could see people at their very worst, and still accept them.
And finally, you were a blessing in that you had a personality that was like a balm to introverts. A person he could just be himself around without having to be surrounded by the multitude of people who’d already noticed your calming demeanor.
In reality, Idia knew you weren’t a blessing. Something so good could never survive in a school like this one. And he’d experienced firsthand exactly how much of a pest you could be.
But even with that knowledge, there were still moments when you were like a protagonist with the way you stood out so glaringly from the crowd.
Of course, Idia stood out from the crowd as well, but never in a remotely good way.
At odds with this, your only supposedly negative quality was that you lacked magic. And while it did make your life a pain sometimes, you never let it bother you. Not like how Idia let his negative qualities and anything he lacked burden him.
And it was a heavy burden. A heavy burden that Idia knew made him equally heavy and unpleasant to be around. Because Idia was no fool. He knew his presence, his friendship, and even his very existence was a weighty one. He could easily drag a person down to their doom with the curses that trailed after him, like an entourage that couldn’t and wouldn’t go unnoticed.
And all of those reasons, plus a myriad of others, were why your presence here, with him, right now ought to be strange. But it wasn’t. In fact, it was perfectly normal for you to hang out with him in the solace of his room. Sometimes gaming with him, and sometimes just doing your own thing in silent companionship.
The selfish part of him clung to both you and your presence even as he continued to face his game in silence.
Were he just a bit bolder, it would be easy to imagine himself turning to face you and wrapping his arms around your neck, with his fingers curling around your temple as if they could crown you as he cradled you to him.
But what could he ever crown you with other than the knowledge that you deserved far better?
It was his way of betraying you, and he knew that. His betrayal was one of the reasons he never tried to cross the dotted line that strained to keep you and him from growing any closer. Similarly, it was the reason the silence remained between the two of you as Idia pondered all of the oddities that were your relationship with him.
Because you supported him. Embracing him in your arms like he was weightless, rather than the way he knew he had to be a chain tangling itself around your ankles, threatening to trip you up and drag you down.
But you didn’t let him sink, and you didn't get pulled down by him.
It was like you were a hero in some tropey anime. Willing to plunge into the very deepest of sorrows and pull him out. Never fearing the chances of drowning in the deep darkness of his curses, but also not shunning the light that revealed all. Good and bad.
Or if you did fear it, you didn’t let that fear hold you back. And perhaps that thought was even more alarming. Because that meant you cared about him enough to not let fear hold you back.
Either way, you seemed to just accept both his good and bad traits. Taking it all on with a smile not unlike the one you’d worn when you’d first forced your way into his life.
You’d shrugged off his moody words and met his gaze with your smiling one, “Nobody’s perfect, and it’s not like you’re the only guy at NRC who has overblotted or has caused me problems.”
You were definitely still a strange one, but Idia could no longer view that strangeness as bad. How could he when you could somehow look at the chains that surrounded him, binding him to his curses and doing their best to condemn him and those he chose to tie himself to, and smile in the face of it all?
But as frustrating as your strange but oddly charming weirdness was, it made him want to do better.
To support you just like how you supported him. To let you know that even in this world that was not your own, you weren’t alone.
If you could willingly walk into that never-ending light that constantly showed his every weakness to the entire, unforgiving, and uncaring world, then he would hide you in the darkness and carry you when it hurt too much.
Because he knew it hurt, even if you hid it well with that smile that only seemed to truly fail you when you were facing an overblot or when the mention of your home came up.
Even if you were strong enough to carry him and all his curses, Idia knew it hurt and that the nights were long for you.
In fact, it was obvious to him.
Because that weight you carried was why, even after having made friends and forged yourself a family, you still sought your own world. And he recognized that weight’s presence. How could he not when he was all too familiar with carrying a burden all his own?
But you would never be too heavy for him. Not when he was used to carrying the weight of his own curses.
He could carry you, and you would never drag him down. In fact, he doubted your feet would ever even touch the ground. Because, just like how the weight of you leaning against him was more of a comfort than a burden, he knew that, if it was you, he could carry any weight.
147 notes
·
View notes
Chapter 6 spoilers!
And spoilers chap 2, 4, and 5 if you’re new to the game and haven’t read those chapters yet
But basically, while I’m still stuck on 6-67 I just wanna say
I’m on part 23 for Jamil and Leona’s tower so I have like a few chapters left so please don’t mention what happens in the rest of their sub plot, but-
I love Leona humbling Jamil so badly in this chapter.
His entire “it’s not everyone else, it’s you that’s the problem” made me so happy
Like one thing I genuinely can’t stand about Jamil is his god complex and that everyone else is the problem attitude. It’s just so narcissistic and I can’t stand it.
I understand his past yes, I read chapter 4. But that doesn’t make it any less annoying.
He says he’ll actually put in the effort but then never does.
And something I remember was when Kalim got humbled in chapter 5 and wasn’t a main singer in the sdc he wasn’t a whiny crybaby, he said he was going to work harder and then it went to Jamil being annoyed about that.
Like people say Leona is lazy (which is true), but so is Jamil. He wants everything to be handed to him and if it isn’t then he throws a fit.
And this is more of a fan thing I’ve seen is that some people are like “Leona’s terrible, he hurt Ruggie” which valid but then they’re like “oh poor baby Jamil” as if he didn’t try to kill not only Kalim, but Yuu, Grim, the octotrio, and literally anyone else if I remember. He put more lives at risk than Leona did. And actually WANTED to kill then.
Leona didn’t want to kill anyone if i remember correctly, he just wanted them out of his way. Which isn’t right either but at least he wasn’t actively plotting murder like Jamil. I mean he probably wouldn’t care if something happened but as much as I remember he wasn’t the one who actually plotted murder for (multiple) people
Why is it when Leona does something it’s unforgivable but when Jamil did it to a higher degree he’s a “poor boy” like shut up.
Like- I’m sorry but Jamil is just a whiny bitch and Leona humbling him about it and calling him out brought so much joy to me.
Also the games trying to make us sympathize with Jamil by putting Kalim as an annoying bother is just icky to me. Because I’m very similar to Kalim when it comes to our attitudes. I’m a very sunshiny and outgoing person. And the game basically says that those type of people are the problems.
And I can AND will go into that on another post because now I just want to express my opinions about that in itself
38 notes
·
View notes