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#uefb rambles
uefb · 6 months
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My “With Its Head Under One Wing” series/universe has spun entirely out of control and I’ve skipped from writing 1935 to 1944, and gosh darn it if I actually care about the ridiculous out-of-order way I post, because the NewTina fluff is killing me and I’ve been in an action/adventure/ANGST mood, so 1944 is just going to be posted whether anyone likes it or not because if I have to try to revise one more paragraph of early NewTina softness right now, I am going to turn into a radioactive jellyfish.
(And yes, this story does destroy my entire plan for the pacing and tone of the sequels of WIHUOW, but I’m just going to have to re-envision how the story will actually be told at the end of WIHUOW’s prepared 24 chapters and 2 follow-up one-shots, because gosh — f*ck it. No one’s grading me on this and I’m a grown person who can change their mind about things—I’ve signed no contracts 😆)
Anyway, there will be the first chapter of new fic tomorrow/today, and it’s nearly completely written so they’ll be very quick updates 🤷🏼
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It’s fine. I’m fine. These 2 unfinished chapters of WIHUOW (between me and 15k+ words ready to post) are just going to torture me forever. 😅
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uefb · 1 year
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Processing my feelings with fic, I’m fine
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uefb · 4 months
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I’m finally updating Older, or Two Brothers and a Train Station. I had, like, a simple 1k-word transition chapter to write so I could post 5k+ words, but I got hit by school/work like a freight train and then had holidays and a proper meltdown, so I’m relieved to finally be finishing this up so I can post it tomorrow.
I don’t know if I’m doing kid!Newt and teen!Theseus justice, but I’m sure having a good time
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uefb · 1 year
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Falling in love, again, with more OCs 🤷🏼
Yesterday my wife saw the color-coded post-it note tabs in one of my Fantastic Beast companion books and was like, “Can you make your next hyperfixation or special interest housekeeping?” and at first I almost walloped her, because rude, and then she quickly explained, “I’m just saying, in a perfect world where we could funnel your ridiculous ability to obtain and organize massive amounts of information into exactly what we needed, our house would be immaculate” and I was like “yes ma’am, and unfortunately they’re disorders for a reason”
We both had a good laugh. I then posted a fic I’d been working on, confident I’d be able to switch my brain back to another longtime interest (my research) after getting the current FB plot bunny out of my head…
And yet, less than 24 hours later, I’ve started another one. This is exhausting. Make it stop lmao. But 1969 Newt & his 18-year-old son are extremely humorous to me, so whatever
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#brb locking my phone & signing out of google so I can continue to not fail out of school#lmao#I’m so close to this phd but the process is excruciating simply horrific#uefb rambles#my stuff#fic: incomplete understanding#newt scamander#oc ch: janus herschel goldstein scamander#fantastic beasts fanfic#this is just the autistic Scamander duo really#the whole premise of this fic is a bit of projection#as I am a person with interest in animals & nature who ended up studying and working with humans their whole life - bc they’re confounding#Janus develops a special interest in anthropology and human relationships as a kid#and he sort of develops that into a career — he’s a master at finding the patterns in human behavior & body language#whereas newts strength is doing that with creatures#they sort of end up travelling together a bit during his teen years & young adulthood — Newt studies creatures- Jan studies people & politic#I imagine they’d team up eventually & this is the first time I imagine it really explicitly happening#newts hitting a wall with a training program at a dragon reserve#he can’t connect to the handlers - can’t make his words match the things his body is doing - can’t figure out#how to explain it - because he’s never actually observed himself & what makes his own body language around dragons different than others#Janus sees something Newt can’t — sees the disconnect between the words and what he’s actually doing - sees what the handlers are missing#so they start a study together & come up with a solution#which is really just pretty precious if you ask me#not that you did#my god that was a long ramble#uefb rambles in the tags
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uefb · 1 year
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Early Tina and Newt give early Tegan & Sara song vibes and I don’t have the energy to elaborate beyond these screenshots at the moment but there will inevitably and eventually be edits bc I am queer, neurodivergent, fixated and thus have no self control
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uefb · 1 year
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Twitter Hiatus
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Hi, Fantastic Beasts people. I just wanted to let folks who follow me primarily on Twitter know that I am taking a twitter hiatus for the foreseeable future, and that I may be permanently transitioning to tumblr. I know more of my fic traffic comes from twitter than tumblr (for a reason I don’t understand, apart from FB fans being more active over there perhaps?), so please do keep an eye on this space for updates. I am hoping to have another chapter of my long fic up by the end of the weekend.
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uefb · 1 year
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A Love Letter to Newt Scamander’s Autism™ and a Plea to Those Continually Gloating About the ‘Failure’ of the FB Franchise
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(this is stream-of-consciousness really, forgive me)
Look. I…dislike…JKR as much as the next politically active gender/queer who was raised on Harry Potter and subsequently spent their 20s raging against the binary and tearing down the system.
But look—
I’m also autistic.
So I can’t pretend to be able to celebrate the potential crash of the first fantasy franchise/series (well, any franchise, really!) to star an empathetic, autistic hero just because I hate her.
The lady has enough money to pave Europe, enough money to buy anyone’s votes—hell, enough money to probably repurchase the entire bloody (pun intended) British empire—
And she frankly has enough money to attempt to destroy trans folks and trans women’s lives whether or not FB continues.
FB is not the root of the problem.
JKR and the increasingly inflammatory political and economic and social moments we keep hurtling through are the problem.
So when I think back on that lonely, autodidactic, quiet, gender nonconforming, gentle, awkward, morally driven (and sometimes-accidentally-in-trouble) eleven-year-old version of me—
That little nerd who clung to the safety of Hermione (as close to a relatable fictional character as I would ever find for decades) like a life raft in the godforsaken sea of adolescence—
Well.
When I think how much Newt Scamander would have meant to that little dork then,
And how much he must mean to so many kids now (let alone adults)…?
I just can’t find it in my heart to purely wish ill on every single one of JKR’s endeavors. Or to celebrate JKR’s failure specifically regarding Fantastic Beasts.
(So maybe Cursed Child can die in a fire, and —yes — JKR’s isms and antisemitisms and absolute crock can—
Well.
You get the idea.)
And maybe it’s the Hufflepuff in me—masked so often by my more ADHD-forward Gryffindor traits—but I just can’t take joy in an atypical, kind, adult autistic character—an unusual hero, in fact!—being [potentially] cancelled when I know it not only hurts me, but so so many others. It’s not joyous to me that people are losing something dear to them, when it’s not the media itself that’s damning but the woman who dreamed it into existence. (Though so much of the good of FB was built by the producers and artists and actors—it was built out by them like a wood-elf in a well-tended garden. The core of it—the trellis, perhaps—was provided by she-who-must-not-be-named, but all that delicate work in between? the moments of worldbuilding, the nuance of character and culture and blah blah blah? they wove the intricacies of the fabric and fashioned the clothes to hang in her closet.)
But I’ve mixed my metaphors and I digress.
What I mean to say is this:
A franchise like FB being cancelled is nuanced and complicated—especially since WB is gonna milk the Wizarding World for all it’s worth even if they do drop FB. This is a multifaceted issue spanning individual, political, capitalistic, societal, etc etc overlapping and contradictory levels, and we should treat it that way, not the way I’ve seen it circulated in posts—just laughing about how JKR had it coming and skimming over all the rest.
Like yes, duh.
Of course she did.
Those of us who grew up on HP rejected her for the very same reasons we loved HP in the first place.
But use your critical thinking skills.
The world is bigger than JKR—art and media have implications and impacts outside of their origin. And, thus, implications for supporting or enjoying something exist on multiple levels that must sometimes be carefully measured and interrogated, even if individually or factionally we come to our own different—and perhaps opposite—conclusions.
So i’m just proposing: maybe we should reconsider taking joy in Fantastic Beasts failure when FB is about so much more than just JKRs considerable sins —
When so many people have seen in Eddie Redmayne’s Newt Scamander the first character who truly acts like them, moves like them, speaks like them—seems to see the world like them!—for the first time in their lives.
Because yes: JKR’s views and horrific anti-trans and—frankly—anti-anti-anti-everything campaigning are personal, but so is what Newt has come to represent.
Words can’t describe that for me. What he means, from an autistic perspective.
Anyway.
I only request that you place your thinking in the complex context it deserves.
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Also, please don’t viciously @ me. I’m open to nuanced conversation, should I have the word-energy to engage—though I have been teetering on the edge of a shutdown for days—but I’m not open to being torn apart for loving quality autistic representation, and for simply wishing I could have more of that character and that content in the world. To not always have to be the one to push for it. To not always have to be the one to write my own representation, to seek it out, to demand I’m worth space and consideration as a reader and consumer with intersectional identities— 
It’s complicated. 
But I’m tired. 
And potentially losing Newt really isn’t funny to me.
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uefb · 1 year
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You know when you write a new OC and you fall in love with them? Because I’ve finally gotten around to writing Newt & Tina’s youngest in my ‘verse and he’s killing me, I love them all 😭
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uefb · 1 year
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Wow. Me loving Newt Scamander makes SO MUCH SENSE now that I’ve started watching Doctor Who again... 13 is excellent thus far!
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uefb · 1 year
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Bribing myself with this book I got for 3USD (recommended by Augurey & Eve) to make me finish my overdue research proposal. (And make a phone call, gag 🤢)
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I’ll share some fun facts that were new to me when I finish [my proposal and thus finish] reading!
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uefb · 1 year
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RAMBLING and UNNECESSARILY LONG (and, also, simply unnecessary) AUTHOR’S NOTE for THE MOST VICIOUS CREATURES ON THE PLANET 
Literally you do not need to read this. Seriously. You don’t. Just read the story. This is just the kind of person I am and I would say ‘Why am I like this?’ but I absolutely know. Anyway, read on to boredom at your own risk.
Again, story is here.
Authors note:
You may notice in my writing about Newt’s childhood, I do write him with more visibly autistic behaviors than he displays in adulthood. This is intentional, and based partially on the portrayal of Young!Newt in Crimes of Grindelwald. Many autistic people who professionals or researchers call “high functioning” or “low support needs” or autistic people without other co-occurring intellectual disabilities develop skills as they mature to not only blend in but to promote their own physical safety (though masking and suppression of autistic traits is increasingly associated with less desired mental health outcomes). You can learn about some of the ways autistic people try to do this here. (I also recommend Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price, an autistic social psychologist.)  All that being said, I try not to infantalise Newt in my writing, or write him as adorably and helplessly oblivious, even if he often is — I think its important (and humanizing!) for him to be just as capable of making mistakes as everyone else.
Next, I utterly failed to pick up on any Newt and Leta romantic tension while watching the films and maybe that’s the autism in me, but I write them as extremely close friends at the least, and queer platonic at the most. (I have heard from some non-autistic people that they didn’t think it was romantic either.) The tidbits we see reminded me of one of my own friendships in university/undergraduate school, which was utterly devoted (probably queer platonic) if entirely non-sexual and non-romantic and, yes, sometimes a…smidge unhealthy. There’s hints of some of her “taking” behaviour in this story, but not much — because I do think she and Newt had a good relationship before things went south. Newt can only see her behaviours, not what’s in her head. The decision to show Newt & Leta as close friends is a personal choice for the purposes of this fic especially—you are welcome to feel about Leta and their relationship however you would like. 
Necessary disclaimers: 1.) All autistic people are different. 2.) Keep in mind Newt may be a bit of an unreliable narrator. What he describes is accurate, but his view is limited—he’s only 13, after all.
Truly more excessive rambling below the cut...
I’ve included some of my own experiences in this fic. For example, even as an undiagnosed child, I could not often speak to people outside my family in completely unstructured situations and would flounder into silence after hello. My mother specifically instructed me over the years—from about age 8 to 14—on how to maintain the flow of conversation, to tolerate small talk, to listen and reflect, how to end a conversation appropriately, etc. I was literally paid with quarters to approach people I knew from school when in public to learn how to be polite and say hello and have a back-and-forth conversation about things that weren’t Harry Potter, peat bog mummies, or Bilbo Baggins. When I became involved in special interests that required me to actually talk to people or that inspired me to speak up unprompted (civil and human rights, for example, as an adolescent), I was actually able to better practice and develop arguably more casual conversational skills. You’ll see that a bit with Newt, as well, particularly in Chapter Two, in the way Theseus instructs him, and in how it is implied Newt’s able to talk to Leta with relative ease, because she has enough knowledge of creatures for him to anchor everything back to that in their conversations. 
You’ll also notice there’s an implication throughout that Newt, perhaps, does not always think about other people’s intentions toward him or others, an unfortunate naivete that tends to put autistic people repeatedly at risk do to less of an instinct for social-based guessing (or ‘mindreading’, as…some researchers like to call it). (Though as one gains more data over life, one can better predict and avoid physical and emotional harm.) Finally, two last things: While Newt does explicitly, physically stim in the Fantastic Beasts films (picking at buttons and fingers, fingers on seams, occasional rocking), some autistic adults have more “obvious” stims in childhood. My own jumping turned into rocking, flapping into finger & button picking, table-drumming into knuckle-cracking, etc. And on meltdowns: For some autistic people, meltdowns are more common in childhood than adulthood, with shutdowns becoming more predominant in autistic adults or, in a best case scenario, both being reduced due to the autistic adult’s ability to recognize stress ahead of time and diffuse it before a dramatic, regulating “reset” is necessary. (Though for people who have meltdowns, they don’t tend to just ‘go away’. It’s not something you developmentally grow out of.) This is the sort of progression I write for Newt in this universe, which is why—again—you’ll notice more autistic traits in this piece than in a lot of my others. 
There’s also a few passing bits of musing on gender in here because emerging research suggests that autistic people are more likely than non-autistic people to identify as trans or non-binary (perhaps, because, the ability to understand social roles is not innate to us, and many of us thus question the systems we’re born into). Honestly, I’ve most specifically included it out of spite—as an autistic, genderqueer person—because JKR made another truly confounding post late last year implying that trans concepts are somehow corrupting poor, innocent, impressionable autistic children. (And she’s said other things that imply that autistic kids are just confused about their gender identities because they’re…. autistic?) Anyway, as an autistic adult who has identified as trans and/or non-binary for over 13 years now and who spent significant portions of childhood just staring at groups of boys and girls and trying to figure out the why and the how, I’ve written said apathetic confusion into childhood Newt, because I can. [And I’ve been recently accused multiple times of not being a “trans ally” and being a "dangerous" person because I’ve bought two (2) tickets and two (2) DVDs since 2018 and, apparently, writing FB fanfic also inherently makes me a TERF and antisemite who hates themself for being autistic. (Some people have never heard of nuance.) The fact that I’m technically under the trans umbrella and have spent significant portions of my life doing actual concrete policy work within institutions, communities, and my employment around trans and queerness is just — well. The accusations just hurt. So I did the very autistic thing of processing that via a special interest, even if it seems like a throwaway paragraph to everyone else.]
Anyway, I’ll probably make a separate author’s note for Chapter 3, as I’m still writing that one at this point. Also, I’ve had a lot going on recently so there may be a gap between posting chapters 2 and 3 because i’m trying not to fail out of my PhD program lmao.
Thanks and I hope you enjoy. 
If you read to the end of this, I’m sorry. And also — wow, proud of you. Treat yourself.
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uefb · 1 year
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The actual ONLY thing getting me through the absolute boredom of this right now…
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Is giving myself 10 minutes here and there to make media for my fic that I’m literally not even gonna use just bc I want the dopamine
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God help me - it’s the end of the semester and I’m broken
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uefb · 1 year
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I posted 158 times in 2022
That's 158 more posts than 2021!
61 posts created (39%)
97 posts reblogged (61%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@afrenchaugurey
@unnamedelement
@uefb
@nifflersgelt
@katisfania
I tagged 158 of my posts in 2022
#newt scamander - 111 posts
#fantastic beasts and where to find them - 60 posts
#autistic newt scamander - 56 posts
#my stuff - 56 posts
#tina goldstein - 49 posts
#newtina - 31 posts
#theseus scamander - 30 posts
#fantastic beasts fanfic - 30 posts
#fic: with its head under one wing - 26 posts
#fantastic beasts - 22 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#also i have so much in my brain abt interwar history rn that no one understands my jokes rn bc they’re referencing events that are 90 year s
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Hello, Wizarding World fandom -
if this isn’t appropriate for every single war and relationship in your brain, then I don’t know what will be. Currently tearing up about Newt & Tina it’s fine
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My knuckles were bruised like violets
Sucker punching walls
Cursed you as I sleep talked
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Spineless in my tomb of silence
Tore your banners down
Took the battle underground
And maybe it was egos swinging
See the full post
25 notes - Posted October 26, 2022
#4
Jacob Kowalski doesn’t need magic to make chaos:
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There is absolutely some reality out there in which Jacob shows up to a friends&family holiday party grinning like a loon, thinking he is THE funniest person in the world as he watches Newt and Bunty unwrap these: 
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Newt blinks.
Bunty snorts a giggle.
Tina takes it upon herself to correct the punctuation while Queenie charms the words a brilliantly glittering gold—
At which the niffler in the depth’s of Newt’s pocket sniffs and leaps: 
It shatters a mug and tips over the menorah, setting the Christmas tree on fire in one chaotic swoop
See the full post
30 notes - Posted December 13, 2022
#3
Newt Scamander and Stimming: One of many possible examples
Not me watching clips of these movies over and over and over again because I’ve never seen someone who moves quite like me (and isn’t a manic pixie dream girl) represented in media.
Sorry, I couldn’t get it to download with captions. You can watch it with captions at this link.
32 notes - Posted October 25, 2022
#2
I will die on the “Theseus & Newt actually love each other dearly they’re just wildly different people” hill. (Or, rather, they are similar people whose “means to the ends” just look very different.)
So have some adorable 8-year-old Newt and 16-year-old Theseus.
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Also this is unedited forgive me the excessively long sentences
39 notes - Posted December 22, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Headcanon: Why do I feel like this sums up Theseus and Newt’s entire relationship / their entire family all the way back through childhood?
Blue screenshot from unposted chapter of fic x
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Like…
Age 6: Newt’s dissection of a horklump is so precise his mum sends off his sketches and notes to the Hogwarts library and theseus doesn’t find out until the next spring when he’s scouring the stacks for a diagram for his Care of Magical Creatures final
Age 8: Newt’s mum puts him in Muggle primary school to help him learn social skills but the kids are boring and awful so Newt starts accidentally magicking himself into the woods outside the school for 2 weeks straight and just walks back to the yard for pick-up in the afternoons. Doesn’t tell anyone until the Ministry shows up at their house to ask his parents if they know their son’s been performing complex underage magic
Age 10: Newt gets bitten by a ridiculous number of doxies while investigating an infestation and his parents only find out when he passes out at the dinner table and Theseus only finds out when he comes home for Easter and asks his brother why his arm looks so lumpy and why he has a children’s ward hospital bracelet
Age 13: Leta bullies Newt into trying out for the Hufflepuff house team in September because they’re down players and he’s absurdly fearless when it comes to flying, and then he’s on the team for a full year, but his family only finds out when the Prophet covers the final matches of the Inter-house Cup in May, and Newt immediately quits after the final game (“it was cutting into my forest time!”), much to his brother’s chagrin
Age 14: Newt gets a school-wide award for an herbology essay on the scientific and magical distinctions between plant and animal characteristics in semi-sentient plants like venomous tentacula and devil’s snare and his family literally doesn’t find out until his expulsion hearing (but his mum still puts the award up on the wall anyway)
Age 16: Relatedly - Newt gets rather dramatically expelled but Theseus only finds out two days later when he runs into Newt in the DMLE corridor on his way to his hearing, because poor communication runs in the family and their father forgot to tell Theseus where he went Tuesday night after that barrage of Hogwarts owls showed up at 10PM
I could go on
why is this so funny to me
53 notes - Posted November 20, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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uefb · 1 year
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If you're anything like Newt, I think you must be a really kind and great person. :)
I wasn’t sure what to say to this at first because it was such a kind thing of you to send to a stranger, and I struggle with working out how to reply to compliments.
I have difficulty objectively seeing myself, but I do know I share some of my best and worst traits with Newt Scamander. However, since I’ve assessed Newt as a good—if complex—character, it is helpful to be reminded occasionally that I’m probably a good—if complex—person, too. :)
Thank you for this random and very Hufflepuff-kind ask. It was very sweet. Take care.
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uefb · 1 year
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MY FOUR PARAGRAPH POST ABOUT EDDIES COMMENTS ON NEWT BEING AUTISTIC JUST CRASHED AND ITS NOT IN MY DRAFTS WHY DO I EVEN TRY
I EVEN USED MY FANCY PHD STUDENT LANGUAGE THIS IS SO OBNOXIOUS
le sigh le sob
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uefb · 6 months
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I think I’m finally going to be able to post another chapter or two of my long fic over the next week or two. Recently, the flavor of grief has been hyperfixating on writing, so at least someone benefits from this 😆
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